#which hurts him in turn
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Please. I don’t want to hurt you.
Inspired by @wyvernne ’s vampluc
#sad and angsty vampire turned against his will and only drinks from animals because he sees himself as a monster#which leaves him incredibly weak and thirsty for real sustenance but he would rather drink his own blood than hurt you#his control will only last for so long!#sorry for being incredibly inactive and unresponsive with asks#lots of change in my life right now that’s leaving me incredibly anxious#can’t focus well so I just avoid things constantly. im sure someone can understand what I mean#oh well#diluc#my art#genshin impact#vampluc
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The Spirealm 致命游戏 (2024) | Eps. 8 + 39
#the spirealm#致命游戏#kaleidoscope of death#ruan nanzhu#lin qiushi#ling jiushi#xia zhiguang#huang junjie#cdrama#cdramasource#kodedit#userhanyi#*gifs:mine#i'm gonna fucking cry#the flippancy of the first answer vs. the care and weight of the second#the framing where both times nanzhu is facing away from lingling when he gives him his answer#nanzhu's look of disappointment in the first vs. wonder and almost reluctance to believe what he just heard in the second#he doesn't even dare to turn around#SOMEBODY HELP ME i am not well#translation notes: the second answer from lingling is “我愿意” which means “i'm willing” or “i'll do it”#notably “我愿意” is also the traditional marriage vow in chinese - the equivalent of the english “i do” at the altar SLDJFSLJFSLDJFLSDJF#anyway xia zhiguang's microexpressions ughhhhhh they hurt me
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#I'm living my best “make your fav blorbo's life pathetic moment”#but also my “comfort no hurt moment” which I'm not all that proud of-#wanna draw smthg dark&edgy but it's like I'm not in control of what my hands do :(#also just for the record#I redrew Sebastian's hand four fucking times and I still don't like it but no way there's gonna be a fifth one or I'll cry#Ciel's face saves it all though yeah I love him#turned out great on the first try what a legend#kuroshitsuji#black butler#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis#sebaciel#my art
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merlin being forced to confront the fact that he’s failing his people bc he’s sitting idly by while uther slaughters them all and coming to the decision that he has to act to save them but that’ll make him camelot enemy no. 1 but technically he already was they just didn’t know it. merlin spending a week all morose but unwilling to talk about it and spending as much time with his friends as possible. on his last night in camelot, he goes to arthur’s chambers and the prince is confused on why he’s there. merlin drops a sealed letter on his desk before pulling arthur into a gentle and emotional kiss. they barely separate, their lips hardly a breath apart, and merlin asks for forgiveness. arthur, thinking he’s apologizing for the kiss, tells him there’s nothing to forgive and goes in for a second kiss but merlin pulls away, knowing that that one brief kiss was all he could handle. if he lets arthur kiss him the way he’s dreamt of being kissed, he won’t be able to do what he needs to do, he won’t be able to leave. merlin tells him good night and leaves before arthur can react. he’s gone by dawn.
#arthur spends a long time storming thru the castle searching for him before returning to his chambers and reading the letter#the letter which outlines that merlin was resigning from his service and leaving camelot#arthur is enraged#merlin is still gone#gaius either wont tell him where merlin is or truly doesnt know#arthur mopes for weeeeeeeeks#then reports start sprouting up of a mysterious person traveling around the land and protecting druids from raids#and intervening when villages/towns attempt to execute sorcerers#uther sends arthur out to find this person and bring them to justice and arthur frankly couldnt care less about them#but it gives him the opportunity to go out and search for merlin so he jumps at the opportunity#he and his men eventually track more and more recent sightings of the cloaked figure to a town on the border of camelot and mercia#they chase the figure thru the streets until arthur corners them and flatly recites their charges of crimes against camelot#and orders them to return to camelot to be tried#the figure hesitates then sighs and turns around#arthurs sword droops to point at the ground as he takes in merlins slightly guilty face#‘i can’t do that arthur’#arthur is hurt from merlin sudden absence that he didnt even have the decency to warn him about#but now hes double hurt bc the reports of the mysterious person included them weilding magic#so now he also knows that merlins been lying about that as well and his hurt quickly turns to anger bc thats all he knows#he raises his sword despite knowing that he wont be able to bring it down on him. merlin smiles sympathetically as if he also knows.#merlin gets away and arthur returns to camelot only to be sent out again and again to kill merlin#friends to enemies to lovers#yippeeeee#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#fanfiction#fanfic#fic idea
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goodbye for now, rest well.
#ffxivsnaps#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv oc#hyur#mygposes.#my last gpose session before dawntrail#because nobody messes with mY FUCKING FAMILY !!!!!#in which nothing hurts and they finally came together as a family#'but cid where's achille?' this ain't about him#what started as a sweet and emotional gpose turned into 30min of long-suffering sighing as i fought with the hand posing#AND IT STILL DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT WELL WHATEVER#anyway. wormwood family :)#from l to r: paris / hector / andromache / chryseis (paris' half-sister)#q.
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Dawn
I am back because i got home from work and I got no chill! :D @spotaus
First one Prev drabble Next one
Okay. So why this one? Because i realised it was a while since i wrote a drabble from Horror's point of view and that is criminal and it is a great excuse for me to showcase some stuff from the quiet and very observing sockets of Horror! (also gives me an excuse to not think about the drabble order i got now and that thought i messed it up a bit which I need to think of a solution for)
Ready? Let's go!
*------------------------*
Horror makes sure to carefully close the door to the greenhouse. It is still early but he is used to those.
He enjoys the cool fresh air as he walks towards the house, small basket filled with fresh monster food. Horror is happy he got permission from Crop to harvest the plants in there for their meals.
He quietly opens the door and listens for a moment. He saw Cross leave the farm a little while ago to do his own morning workouts and by the sounds of it the other three are still asleep.
Which is good because he needs his own sleep. Horror knows very well that Dust is the one to wake up with Nightmare if something bothers him in his sleep.
He found the two of them awake and reading a book one too many times for Horror to believe they just had an allnighter.
Horror likes being up early. Maybe strange for him but he got used to it in his old universe. The best time to check his traps and search for food had been in the very early morning, or very late night depending on how you look at it, as most people would be asleep.
It is a leftover habit and he just kept going with it when he joined Nightmare's gang.
He puts the food away in all the right places and goes about getting the ingredients for todays breakfast. He notices the fresh milk and eggs and the choice is obvious. Some pancakes would be great.
He starts preparing the ingredients as he takes the time to measure it all. The milk makes him chuckle.
Watching Cross realises there was a cow had been funny. Finding Cross in a tree shaking with a cow under it had been hilarious. Crop ahd been apologetic as he explained that his cow, Betty (Killer had mutters "of course it is claled betty") was aparently mischievious.
Horror had his doubts but Cross swore that the cow would know when he left the farmhouse. That the cow would stand at the edge of her field and stare at him.
Cross did not go to the east side of the farm anymore. aparently that was Betty's territory in his mind.
Nightmare liked petting Betty however so you have your ups and downs.
Horror mixes the ingredients slowly but surely. Thinking about Nightmare, "Shouldn't you still be in bed?"
silence before a soft mutter "Not tired anymore."
Horror chuckles as he shoots Nightmare a look. He looks fully awake and adorable in his new wool sweater. Horror grins "God powers?"
Nightmare shrugs "I mean probably. I never needed sleep before. that is still new." They hadn't really noticed anything that could be connected to Nightmare's godhood at the moment. Maybe it had gone domant, at least that was Cross's guess. Dust just thinks Nightmare's magic is now focussed on healing instead of weird god shenenigans.
Speaking of healing! Horror gives him a stern look "bandages?"
Nightmare rolls his eye lights but mutters his answer "All still in place and good. Killer replaced them after the bath last night,"
Horror nods. With that secured he relaxes abit "Want to help?"
Nightmare is already by his side and stands on his tiptoes. Horror chuckles as he gives him a look "Need a chair?" he would offer a stepstool but the chair is more stable for him.
Nightmare looks at the counter annoyed before nodding his agreement. Horror grabs a chair and puts it near the counter. Nightmare climbs it easily.
Horror really wants to pick him up but they do have the rule that inside Nightmare should walk around himself to carefully train his spine. It is still much to early to already start carrying him. Horror knows that if any of them start they won't stop.
Nightmare reaches for the ingredients, some fruits for inside the pancakes, before pausing and staring at his sweater.
Nightmare has been very careful with his new gifted clothes. Horror himself is also very careful with the set of clothes Dust got him.
Horror frowns at the food he is making. He really hopes he can quickly find soemthing to do here to earn money. At the moment only Dust has something and it is starting to show, even Killer seems to be getting annoyed with himself over it.
Until now Horror and Cross helped around on Crop's farm. Which he was happy to do as it only seemed fair as a way to repay Crop for letting them stay. Horror has also been learning the basics about farming, farmland and farmwork from Crop. It is still a lot and not everything sticks in his skull, probably falling out of that hole. But he is getting better at it. He hopes with this Crop can maybe get the news out that both of them are more than willing to help around with heavy duty work and get a bit of cash flow.
Killer... Killer has a very specific set of skills. Sadly not specifically useful on a farm. Even if he is great with the animals and can herd pretty much anything, which is very useful but well. Most people won't let you near their animals unless they trust you and Killer is Killer.
Horror just feels bad that Dust is pretty much still Ngihtmare's main caretaker, got the rough end with the backstory they settled on, and has to deal with work to get cash. Only to spend all of it on them all.
Horror can see it is starting to wear him down. He just hopes they can figure out how to balance everything better.
It is another reason he loves these mornings. Because morning time means Dust, and Killer, both sleep in and Horror gets time to supervise their babybones. Horror adores the time wiht Nightmare. Especially when alone because then others don't watch them nervously the whole time.
It is exhausting to be seen as something dangerous even if he knows it is true. It is why they mean so much to him, they never treated him like that. None of them did.
A glance confirms that Nightmare has carefuly rolled up the sleeves and is taking extra care with cutting the fruits, using one of the duller knives which won't be able to cut bone. Horror turns back to getting everything else ready. He has to concentrate to push his intent into the food. He wants them to enjoy and like it. Feel the things he can't say to them.
Horror knows what he wants and feels but also knows none of them are ready to hear it. Horror has known that from the moment he realised what he felt was. The curse of being the only emotional stable one.
He still remembers all the way back near the start of them meeting and chuckles to himself. they did not get along at all.
Nightmare immediantly looks up "What is funny?" he looks adorably confused.
Horror thinks for a moment "Remember when you brought me in?"
Nightmare blinks before giving a slow nod "Yeah... I had hoped you would calm Killer and Dust."
Horror chuckles "Can't believe you thought i could do that."
Ngihtmare shrugs as he finishes up his task and just sits normally on the chair "I mean... It worked." his hands find the glass of juise Horror got him.
Horror pauses for a moment before nodding. Nightmare is kinda right with that one. It hadn't worked right away but he made it work. Mostly because he had had a lot of motivation.
Nightmare, still a fully active god at that point, had offered him that he would slowly but surely fix the food problem in his universe in trade for his service, something about it being too severe for him to be able to instantly fix but if Horror worked for him he would work on it. Horror had figured Nightmare had known about his little weird immortality situation with his own universe's core and accepted.
Turns out he just wanted him to fix whatever had been going on with Killer and Dust. Because they would fight. Constantly. And those two got very close to killing each other a few times.
Horror had eventually managed to somehow form a connection and bond with Killer. It had been rather easy and Horror was able to become friends with him over coworkers. Eventually find him not just annoying but funny. And later think fondly of his antics.
Dust took longer. Which had been a combination of Dust just being an introvert and not looking for connections or at least not in the way that made that clear to Horror. And well Horror heard bits and pieces of what Dust had done and had honestly been disgusted with the idea that Dust just murdered his whole universe and his own brother. Just to fight one human? Just to end a timeloop?
It was well after he managed to get them to stop, or at least contain the damage of, their fighting. Well after he started working for Nightmare more permanently that Horror realised how the multiverse worked.
And how fucking unfair it was.
Because aparently? stupid fate or some shit? That decided how your universe worked. His would always have ended up with a famine and starvation. Killer would always lose control and be controlled, abused and used by the human. Cross would always be the end of his universe. Dust... Dust would always have to kill his universe. No matter what he tried or solution he tried.
It wasn't until later Horror learned that Dust had tried everything. Multiple times. That Dust had learned to play multiple musical instruments in the time of resets. That he had learned to cook, and tinker. He master chemistry. Everything in the hopes it could give him a solution.
But the fates had already decided his ending, much like for all of them there was only one ending possible for them. And in the end locked him in a dead AU make by his own hands when no other options was left. Just like all of them had been.
Horror has to admit it took him a long time to get Dust to admit those things to him. Msotly because Horror had been standoffish before and that he accidentally gave Killer advice to treat Dust like one of the many stray cats he interact with.
He hadn't specifically said that. horror had just told Killer that maybe Dust would like Killer more, or at all, if Killer learned to respect his boundaries. Horror had mentioned how Killer could learn each cat's limits so why not Dust?
Worst part was that it actually worked.
Horror rubs his face "I give him cat advice." his voice sounds pained. Dust had been so mad at them both.
Nightmare nods "I remember. Dust left for three weeks." he snorts "which really is very catlike..." more thoughtful "And then you two got mad at me for not telling you where he went." He blinks and shrugs as he drinks from his orange juice.
Horror ignores the cat comment as he looks at Nightmare "Why didn't you tell us?" Dust had actually been recruited to help Nightmare with the balance. Something Horror only started to do after helping Killer and Dust be less homicidal.
Nightmare blinks at him wiht those wide sockets "I didn't want to force any of you... If you wanted to leave..." he speaks softer and softer "I wasn't going to stop you if you wanted to leave... if you didn't want to stay..."
Horror frowns and picks Nightmare up. He embraces him and hums "I am sorry we left..."
Nightmare shrugs as he pushes clsoer to him "You came back..."
hah... yeah they did. Much like Dust did all that time ago. He was gone for a few weeks before returning after killing Ink bringing back one of his fucking sketchbooks as proof. Obviously killing Ink does little in the long run but it was quite the powermove. Dust had glared at them daring to say anything. Killer of course had muttered something about Dust bringing back a kill much like a cat.
Horror is still not sure how he managed to stop Dust from Killing Killer that day.
Horror puts Nightmare at the table and gets a small yogurt and fruit snack ready for him. Just so he can eat a tiny bit. See how his magic will handle food today. Nightmare starts eating it when offered and that is a good sign. Means his magic is actually sending out the signal that it needs food today.
Horror goes back to flipping pancakes. Horror tries to stay in the here and now but his injury makes his mind likely to wander. and with already having been thinking about them.
He still remembers one of the early missions, after Horror learned about fates cruel games. Dust had still acted the same but Horror had tried to be more friendly. He had been close to giving up on it as clearly it wasn't working as Dust was still standoffish. Only for Dust to pull him out of the way of an attack from Ink, getting hit instead.
Later Horror had demanded why he did that and Dust had just shrugged. He hadn't had an answer for him. It confused Horror to no end. Horror was immortal because of that fact that his magic had been used in the core and bonded to that. Meaning as long as the core in his universe was fine he would return to life.
The gang had known this and Horror knew that Dust knew this. And yet. Dust had heard all of that and looked at the large monster Horror had become saw soemthing worth protecting. Something that needed protection.
Horror thinks he fell a little bit in love that day.
Much like how one day Horror just realised he couldn't stand the idea of not being near Killer or never seeing him again. That even if Killer could be annoying that he didn't wish him any pain or harm.
How it warmed his soul that Killer, and Cross later, would hide behidn him. Seeing him as someone safe that would protect them. See him as someone trustworthy.
Cross, so eager to please and desperate for affection and affirmation. but once he relaxed so smart and funny. Loyal and always ready to help...
But now is not the time to try and see what any of them thought or felt. They are dealing wiht a lot at the moment and they need to concentrate with trying to make staying here work.
The front door opens and Cross walks in quietly. He sneaks a glance at them and smiles when Horror catching him looking. Cross waves to Nightmare "Hey guys. All good?"
Horror nods "Nightmare helped." he flips another pancake as Nightmare drinks his juice with a smug little smile.
Cross grins "Good to hear. I will quickly get cleaned up and help. Dust and Killer?"
Nightmare hums "Still asleep." and he sips his juice again.
Cross nods "Good to know. be back in a bit" and he goes towards the bathroom. The pipes groan softly as Cross no doubt turns on the shower.
Horror finishes the last pancake and gets to wrok on getting the drinks and coffee ready.
Another day for them to figure out how this will work. Horror is just happy they are all here, everything else can wait as long as they stick together.
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#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#cross sans#Horror Sans#We are back with a Horror POV#you guys I love Horror's pov. He is just such a nice and emotionally stable guy#I can actually just have him admit feelings and thoughts and let him make conclusions without a lot of selfdoubt!#It is so nice?!#this is a drabble that if it were a full story i would be stuck on#mostly because there are so many more things i wanted to add and expand on but just didn'have the room or time to do quickly#I write these in one go which is why they are drabbles instead of official chapters#they are the rough rough drafts of chapters#This would be a hard chapter because there are so many things i wanted to type but yet the flow of the drabble and story only goes so far#Writing whining aside this is the next drabble#maybe i will revisit things that were mentioned later#You guys i wanted to add how everyone has their own love language and explain the one of the guys but i just couldn't get there without it#breaking the flow and that hurts so much! I wanted to talk abotu that! sigh#maybe another time#but i promised myself these drabbles are unedited and stay as drabbles and rough shape so here we are!#but yeah if i ever turn this into a full full story with even more in between bits and expand the drabbles this would be terror to figure#out just because there is so much i would want with it1#okay i am going to stop now
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i have a counter argument to the 'only one person can boop bill' thing, mabel. she's the type of person to slap stickers on people, she would definitely be the type to also boop others occasionally and bill would be no exception. she probably doesn't do it to annoy bill like dipper would, but maybe as a form of a friendly gesture, kind of like those people who will lightly punch friends in the arm when they hang out.
You know what? Good point. Mabel would get away with more than most, as a fun-loving lady! Bill understands those impulses, and being a touchy person! He indulges in similar ones himself.
Though when Bill's not in the mood to be playful and gets booped anyway? The 'sister-in-law' status grants her considerable grace.
#answers#Though in addition to that - Mabel's general chaos and level of Fun Times is something Bill genuinely likes#Catch these two having one too many margaritas and slinging arms over each other's shoulders while singing too loud and off key#She'd have some leeway even without the brother situation#But Mabel gets a pass on things she normally wouldn't purely on the merit of 'this would piss off the spouse'#The thing about Bill is he's genuinely fun to party with - right up until he decides you're the pinata#Even now there are times when she thinks she's doing something 'cute' and Bill was NOT in the mood but just has to grin and bear it#Instead of breaking fingers one by one#Dipper is singular in his ability to get away with Pretty Much Everything#It's love yest but it's also communication and personality I'm afraid#If Bill DID call Dipper out on doing something Too Far he'd get an embarrassed and apologetic husband. With kisses of sorry.#Though in minor circumstances: he starts arguing with him#Turns out that bickering is a better way to deescalate with Bill than most other tactics and Dipper's a pro#Now Bill's gotta think semi-rationally to Win The Argument instead of acting on impulse.#And in the process of debate he not only: learns where his husband's coming from but has time to cool off#Congratulations Dipper! Your Nerdy Logic brain and ability to Rise to a Challenge prevent Bill from going immediately nuclear#Plus showing off that big sexy intellect of yours doesn't hurt#Whereas I see Mabel pushing one of Bill's few boundaries and then deflecting. She ain't great at conflict#Brushing it off and laughing; Jeez it was just for fun!! Lighten up already!#Exactly what Bill says when HE'S being a dick to someone!#Which is why he'd react Very Badly to that excuse#Ha ha! Fun! Of course Bill loves fun! You know what HE thinks is FUN#Barbecue. Flash-fried pork ribs. Where's that stupid pig#Dipper has to disarm that particular bomb and I highly doubt it's a pleasant process
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just having a normal one thinking about how badly Armand wants to be loved but every time he gets close to it, he self sabotages and ruins it. almost as if. he subconsciously doesn't think he deserves it.
#I'm fine I'm good I'm so normal about him#he does it with EVERY romantic relationship we see him have it's insane#first with lestat and their whole Thing. especially the nicki stuff we haven't seen yet.#then louis. like he lets himself have it and then realizes it's possible for it to work and IMMEDIATELY blows it#by you know. trying to kill him. actually succeeding in killing his daughter.#making sure there's no possible way louis will ever forgive him even as he plots and manipulates to underplay his role in it#they loved each other but armand made sure it would never be in the way he craved the most and then punished himself for it#by strong manning the relationship together with hot glue and stickers even if it was hurting them both#AND THEN with daniel too ffs#DOUBLE of it with daniel if past-devil minion happened too fuck#turning him and then leaving him bc daniel SEES him for who he is and he's not afraid (I mean he is but YOU GET WHAT I MEAN)#possibly erasing his memories of him from the 70's & 80's as both a fucked up attempt to keep daniel alive#(which tbf it works but is STILL a fucked up thing to do)#and to get himself out of a situation in which someone finally started to love him unconditionally the way he wants so badly#but he can't let himself have that can he#I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THE VAMPIRE ARMAND GUYS#I might be wrong idk I have yet to rewatch s2 but#BUT IT HURTS ANYWAY DONT IT#iwtv#armand#iwtv amc#the vampire armand#interview with the vampire#iwtv s2#armandposting#robin going insane about armand again#iwtv armand
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this could be kuwameshi if you guys would like. take my hand and trust me
#yyh spoilers in tags#like major spoilers ok#which ig i dont usually tag but whatever#the if i had to choose between the world and you it's you thing happened. and it was KUWABARA like hhhhgghh#yusuke makes him forget his honor code sometimes and i need you guys to see that with me#bc it makes me wanna fling myself into the ocean over and over again#kuwabara literally is like you need to be alive bc otherwise im nothing idek who i am. please let me punch you#and he wails this multiple times#and yusuke would burn down the world himself if he thought it'd help his friends we all know that#and doomed by the narrative? mmm with the ever escalating world ending nature of being a spirit detective thats kinda there#throw in the sudden demon-human age gap post yusuke death 2 and you've got some narrative dooming in a way#but not enough for me to well and truly call them doomed by the narrative#yyh#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi#kazuma kuwabara#yusuke urameshi#ofc i can handle you at your worst thats basically you all the time is Very kuwa to yusuke#and maybe we can figure out what the hell ur problem is over dinner sometime is Very yusuke to kuwa#actually i should draw that. or make it a textpost or something#but like turning up the protectiveness/possessiveness thats already there with them in line with the whole#'ive watched you die' trauma they Both have means that like. i think they would Need to have each other around for a period of time#in the wake of sensui's bs perhaps. and then yusuke cuts it all off and they start to get a bit healthier about it. hm#i think about them all the time it's like if typicsl shonen rival/bestie homo-ness was kind of scary and painful#like they love each other but the ways they hurt each other and hurt over each other drive me fucking insane
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So new Vega audio, right. Heads up this got WAY longer than I meant so uh. Prepare to scroll, I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In advance, I don't even really know when things get posted to youtube time-of-day-wise, so this is probably technically spoiler material, etc etc, and a bit heavily flavored by particular headcanon for the Warden, especially the details of their job.
You work at the Department, your favorite part is psychology-related casework. Sure, the serenity demons have got that corner covered, but you enjoy helping when they're short-handed in between the times you have to do demon-specific tasks like ward maintenance, etc.
You get this fucking file, red flags ALL over it, but you're good at your job, you know how to keep your personal shit separate and not fall for manipulation tactics, but the guy is good. You're also good enough to see through it all, but oh man is he pat.
Shit happens and suddenly you're kidnapped, sort of? And you can see every time he tries to be subtle and nudge you to think one way or another, but he is actually helping you, which yeah, sure that's a manipulation in and of itself, but he's almost nice? You don't agree with a lot of what he says, but there are some points he has that you've had before, but you'll be damned if you're going to let him know that. You can see what he's doing and you're not going to fall for it (maybe that's the problem though, you think you can see it but does that make you overconfident?)
And then when you're finally better he just. Lets you leave. But he gives you an option, and it sounds not only logical, but nice (ah shit did you start to like him? You know he's manipulating you, remember?). So you stick with him. You can leave anytime.
But you don't leave, because maybe you started to forget that he's manipulating you, you saw through it all at the beginning, after all, and there's plenty of evidence that he's not lying about shit going on with that cult.
One day he says he values you, and you immediately think it's a trick, and you can't read his emotions the way he can read yours, but something feels honest about it, and suddenly you believe it when he says you matter, and you like that, you like it a lot, and you think maybe you're a little fucked because you might do anything he asks you to at this point.
And then not even a half hour later something fucking disintegrates him in front of you, which shouldn't have been possible, and it terrifies you and you run. You forget that you can fucking rift away in an instant and you use your fucking feet and sprint, you're so terrified.
Where the fuck are you supposed to go? You ditched your job, even if you were abducted in the first place, do you even have any friends outside of work?
To make things more confusing, some fucking piece of paper materializes out of nowhere for you, and you read it. It feels like a confession, but it's from that bastard so how are you supposed to believe it, and it tells you to just forget him and move on and what the fuck, man, how?
So you read it again, and another couple times, and maybe you end up back at the safe house you had been abducted to at first and you reread it enough that maybe you start to memorize it. And when you finally put it back down to reconsider what you're supposed to do, the thing that killed him suddenly pops in with him alive next to it like he didn't just disintegrate in front of you hours ago.
And he doesn't remember it. He doesn't remember you. He doesn't address you properly, doesn't remember your name and doesn't call you darling. But he does remember? He remembers you but nothing about you? And he begs you to explain what's going on because his memory is about 2000 years old at this point and he doesn't know if there's anyone else that can catch him up.
He's begging, and you don't think this is a trick anymore. For the first time, you're positive he isn't manipulating you, he's pleading.
He asks what your relationship was (good question). You try to hedge and he calls you out. You tell him it's complicated.
What do you mean complicated.
You don't really know how to say "Well, I was your department-appointed therapist of sorts, you abducted me, but then you offered to have me tag along on your mission to save the world and you've manipulated me so much through the whole thing that I can't really tell what was real and what wasn't and then you died in front of me and left me this note that honestly just made it more unclear what we were," so you stick with "You died and left me this note" and hand him the piece of paper you already memorized to read.
And he doesn't just read it to himself, he reads it out loud, so you get to hear the fucking thing in his voice now, and why does he sound so shaken by the request to forget him, does he hate reading that part as much as you did?
He finishes the letter and doesn't understand why you said it was complicated, that made it sound pretty straightforward, why would he have called you darling and dearest and praised you like that if it hadn't been straightforward?
You don't know what else to say, and thank god he drops it, but even though he knows now what he called you he keeps addressing you wrong and you hate it, you're not just an inchoate you're his warden, but he asks if you'll keep helping him and you almost want to say of course you idiot but you just say you will.
Anyway I was very insane about this last night, I don't know if this accurately gets that across, but then again it's about 5 times longer than I meant so maybe that's the insanity.
I've never really been good at putting my reactions into words, it never quite gets across the vibrating flailing aaaaaa feel that my brain goes through, but be assured my brain is vibrating flailing aaaaaa
#re;gjkhalkjghalkjdfh;oahwebdifulawbglerg#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted vega#redacted warden#redacted asmr#I've listened to it like 5 times help meeeee#it makes me want to write another bit for prickly pear but I'm making no promises#redacted spoilers#oh and brief headcanon to share: I don't think warden knows about Caelum unless Vega has specifically told them at some point#I have a friend who's done court-mandated therapy for folks and the caseworkers do NOT get a lot if any of the details to HOW they got ther#like at most the file probably said “inappropriate manipulation of unpowered humans; turned in by incubus”#because it was the way that vega had that feeding setup going that was the issue#the department wouldn't have cared about him attacking another demon#and if they didn't care it wouldn't have ended up in the paperwork#so in theory there is some potential for a juicy conversation in which warden finds out that he did that#and they can call him out on his bullshit about not wanting to hurt other demons
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^this but unironically
#also this is such a ridiculous comparison#one of them gets more and more angry as the show progresses actively hurting the people around them#and that’s not me being analytical or hashtag deancrit or whatever it’s just. canon#he has a whole fucking arc about how hes becoming more and more angry and its taking him over and turning him into someone awful#like it’s not a well executed arc <3 but it is about that.#it’s not a coincidence that moc happens right after dean does like some of his worst show moments ever#aka being awful to sam all of s8 for daring to try to move on and then getting him possessed and gaslighting him about it#like they don’t tie up moc in a fulfilling way dean just gets worse and worse and never heals but. Whatever#meanwhile. the other (sam) gets villainised by the show for showing entirely appropriate anger Which by the way is never directed violently#at dean in fact we barely even SEE it in him sam just says he FEELS angry all the time and somehow believes this is proof he is innately#evil and the show AGREES with him. and as the show goes on he stops being able to access this anger even in self preservation and has his#sense of personhood and autonomy worn down again and again#. Like that is completely different#‘whenever dean expresses it that’s just him being abusive’#Literally yes. like i worry for you if you think that trying to kill a child because you’re upset your family died is like Good Normal#Behaviour#it’s understandable in the context of deans life! all his behaviour is! but that doesn’t make it good…#spn#fandom wank#oliver talks#supernatural
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The scene is pretty much the same but the wording to me is just so much more volatile. He's not even calling him a freak here, he's calling him a monster, which is something he has never called N before now, not in the games and not in the manga in any translation I've come across. It reads as so much more dehumanizing here and the way he says N is "biting the hand that feeds him" is so interesting to me. N is being disobedient by expressing his love for Ghetsis, that is what gets him marked as being unruly, going against the rules. This Ghetsis isn't just expressing his disdain for being N's father, he's expressing his disdain for N as a whole; N is "disgusting" to him. I prefer this translation rather than the official one just because it feels so much more emotionally charged, it feels so much more hate filled.
aurghghgh……….
#h…#see this one feels almost more genuine. as if ghetsis really felt betrayed by n turning on him#which i’m sure he was but like. in terms of inconvenience#this feels almost like ghetsis was personally wounded by n’s change of heart#like ‘i did everything for you i would’ve loved you but you rejected me’#like that he does at least have some kind of argument (obv not a good one a very manipulative one)#i mean like not in a deep real way but like in the sense that he’s trying to appeal to n’s sense of guilt even now. one last manipulation#whereas the original i feel more accurately carries the sense of pure heartlessness and detachment he has#like the original is just a pure outburst of disdain and entirely selfish rage and hate#like it’s just ghetsis absolutely losing his sanity much like at the end of the game version of the story. just losing control of himself#like this one would hurt n emotionally more for sure. but the original feels more like what i think ghetsis would actually say here#but i do like the ‘monster’ thing it’s a good touch#asks#colorful-bees#b2w2 pokespe liveblog
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like if anything, the added details in these s1 flashbacks just shows how louis was even more emotionally unstable than he previously let on. and ultimately the results are still the same: claudia still got turned and trapped in her body and that family and louis was still broken by lestat's violence. nothing is different
#like even in s1 you can hear lestat say that claudia is too young to be turned but he did it anyway#both situations are ones where lestat has more power than louis but is acting as tho he was forced to do what he did#he could've told louis no. he could've doubled down and been like i'm not turning her like armand did w madeleine but he didn't#bc he wanted to bind louis to him and that's obvious from the scene in s1#same w the dv scene. lestat wanted to punish louis for thinking about leaving and hurts claudia and then louis responds by attacking him-#which is an understandable thing to do when your husband is strangling your daughter and then he's clearly angry and is yelling at lestat-#but lestat could've restrained louis and left. but he wanted to hurt him and he straight up admits that.#nothing is different. the context doesn't change what happened.#vampterview#iwtv spoilers
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Divorce Saga Domon - A Haunted Honk Prequel
Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!
This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.
If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.
If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -
Then go ahead and feel free to:
Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings
and click the Read More below!
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Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....
For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon
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Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.
The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like
Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.
He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.
Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.
He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable.
He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.
Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.
Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.
Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.
Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.
So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.
There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.
After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.
They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.
He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.
I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.
But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.
The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.
@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow
#Domon Kasshu/Chibodee Crocket#Royal Flush#Chibodee Crocket/Domon Kasshu#Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU#mobile fighter g gundam#I imagine he hasn't had time for a Big Gay Crisis yet but the time is absolutely now#Kyoji absolutely helps him through this crisis because he had a normal environment and university to figure his own shit out.#Kyoji has to figure out WHY Domon is imploding and explosive and avoiding everyone a second time though.#This doesn't seem related to the Divorce but it doesn't seem immediately obvious either. 🤔#Cue Schwarz FINALLY getting a fucking break and immediately coming to stay with Rain and Kyoji at their place.#Domon was aware that they had been living together in Neo Japan briefly before Schwarz was called back to Neo Germany for questioning#Once his rank was stripped of him he was back with Kyoji for a short period before the Divorce as part of Kyoji and Dr. Kasshu's study of#DG Cells. Once they had a breakthrough - Schwarz was sent abroad with a small military group and Doctors Without Borders group to assist#With immediate infection cases on behalf of Neo Japan as part of reparations. So Domon hadn't seen him in quite some time.#Domon certainly wasn't expecting to see him in the garden when he rounded the corner of the Mikamura residence#Leaned over Kyoji who appears to have been working outside on his laptop. Fingers intertwined a hand on Kyojis jaw and locked in a kiss.#Which ends pretty much instantly as they sense Domon and break apart. It occurs to Kyoji and Schwarz that Kyoji never#Got the chance to actually tell Domon much about himself and the man he'd grown into while Domon was training in Hong Kong with Master Asia#This might be a pretty significant shock to him.#I can't decide between Domon running from his Gay Revelation or IMMEDIATELY Losing His Shit at the thought of Rain's SECOND marriage ending#And knowing for sure now the reason why his and Rain's marriage didn't work out. He really does prefer men.#Bu HOW DARE Kyoji do this to her!!! She's been through enough!!!! This will HURT her SO BADLY!!! (Projection of guiiillllttt)#Back to square 1 fir a moment like damn#And once he starts fighting Kyoji about it (Thank God the ressurection gave them the option to make Kyojis new build similar to Schwarz's)#It comes out that Rain cant go through this AGAIN and he won't let him do this to her! Her honor means something to Domon#And it should mean something to Kyoji too as HER HUSBAND#Kyoji and Schwarz catch on the Again bit and Kyoji makes it clear that Rain has known about his situation with Schwarz since they returned#That they're quite literally inseparable and that Rain married him knowing this. She's fully aware and an active participant.#Domon takes a leg sweep and doesn't quite make his recovery as Schwarz steps in#Pinning his arms and one leg in place so he can't run from Kyojis question. Kyoji grabs Domon's hair to turn his head and asks
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thinking about the elections tonight... bad, cellbit, baghera, and forever are four candidates who are devoted to the island- more specifically, to the residents of the island. They care for the eggs, and they care for each other, and the way they exhibit that care through their primary presidential strategies is fucking fascinating.
Bad is who I watch the most, so I know him best. He's a classic mother hen. He doesn't like to take risks with the eggs, and he likes to prepare. If there's any sort of variable that could hurt an egg then he wants to control it. They have a stable relationship with the federation right now- it's not great, but they know the parameters. Don't trust cucurucho. don't follow cucurucho. send the eggs to NINHO every time there's a threat. the time of day changing means you need to run. Other than that they're p okay and roughly safe. But adding a president could potentially change everything. What if the president makes a rule that makes it easier to kill the eggs? And what about the way a president could cause tensions between the players to rise even higher? The dynamics of the island could change drastically. It's safer to neutralize that threat before it ever becomes a threat. It's easier to stop a war before it can start.
Baghera's primary concern is the way the election is designed to pit the residents against each other. All of them know that the Federation is a threat and she, like Bad, is focused on not letting them hurt more people. But, unlike Bad, she's less resistant to change. If the power is spread to multiple players rather than just one, it will be harder for the Federation to corrupt any one of them. Each time before the Federation has gotten to someone it's done so by isolating them. Felps, Cellbit, Jaiden- they've all spent a lot of alone time with Cucurucho. A council isn't just to consolidate the ideals of the island; a council would protect the players themselves. Sure, there might be disagreements and arguments, but they've had those before (and they're having them now!) and there's no reason to think they wouldn't be able to get through them again.
I hit a bit of a wall with Forever and Cellbit's pov here. Everything I know about their plans are from the debates and paraphrased discussions that have been translated here on tumblr, I'm going to talk less about their explicit plan and more about what the result will entail- a single president who takes responsibility for the island. It seems to me like they've recognized the presidential seat as the powerful opportunity that it is, and they want to take advantage of it. Here's some extra personal speculation but, adding rules, adding or removing mods, proposing public works, enforcing laws- those are just the abilities that are listed. Those are incredible opportunities to make the Federation take action, which is more than they've had before. We've seen before that the Federation isn't perfect; the Federation makes mistakes.
By working with the Federation, by making them take action (in a semi-controlled, semi-predictable way) you open them up to more opportunities for them to fuck up (while benefiting you). And, maybe, one of those fuck ups will be the key to taking them down. Maybe they could reopen ender chests. Maybe they could open the nether. Maybe they could learn why the Federation is holding an election in the first place. It's possible to do all these things with Baghera's plan, sure, but that's not a guarantee and, if someone like Bad is on the council, there's absolutely no way to be sure it would get done. And, if there's a council, then that opens up everyone on the council to the Federation's wiles. If there's just one president, then that's where the Federation's focus will be. By using a single person to build a relationship with the Federation, they only risk that single person. By electing ministers instead of a council, they can ensure that the island residents' needs are being heard while placing the federation's focus on that one person. A point can be made that they've done that before- with varying results. like kidnapping. selling your soul. etc. But! overall, I think they've gained more than they've lost by singling out one person. Because of them, we know that Cucurucho can't be trusted. We know that the Federation has a series of tunnels underneath the island. We know that the Federation not only has some sort of cryo technology, but had some unknown reason to use it. We know that there was another person working with Cellbit to take care of Felps (theorized to be ElQuackity), so we know there's at least one more Fed that isn't Cucurucho + blank-faced workers. There's been risk, but there's absolutely been rewards. This is just a very long meandering way to say that their plan to sacrifice Forever to the presidential seat reminds me very much of Cellbit's plan to sacrifice himself to the federation. They're saving their friends by potentially damning themselves and I, for one, think that is cool as hell.
they all care about each other so much. bad's plan means taking on no more risk. baghera's plan means spreading that risk evenly to stand strong together. and cellbit and forever's plan means taking the risk onto themselves so they can reap the rewards for others. am i reading too much into things? no this is tumblr and this smp is about LOVE and i really genuinely think that their election plans are a fantastic example of just how much they love each other
#qsmp elections#qsmp#qsmp analysis#again i haven't been following cellbit and forever's exact plan too closely but i've gotten the sense that their pushing of public works is#just to get people to vote for them and the true reason they want forever to be president is to infiltrate the federation#if that's not it tho feel free to let me know i'd love to know these cubitos reasonings#but with my interpretation i like the silly little extra headcanon of mr cell “sold his soul to the cops” bit#subconsciously sacrificing forever to the feds and pushing him into corruption#which ALSO makes the forever-killing-cellbit-to-kick-him-out-of-the-running plan Even More Tasty#'what if i let you kill me. what if destroying me destroyed yourself. what if i have already destroyed you on purpose and you forgave me#now what if i dont mean it when i do it again'#if anyone wants to examine the other candidates (or these same ones) and figure out how their election strategy is an example of their love#please do#i don't know enoguh about the others#but i know that gegg is love-turned-grief burn-the-world-down#and foolish is love for Item. love for cloud. love for being a silly#i don't know etoiles' plan for if he gets elected but i know he also deeply loves the island and the residents#him and his security <3 and the care packages for new players <3 and the way he Craves Violence but absolutely refuses to hurt anyone who#doesn't deserve it. most guy of all time#personally i want foolish to win because i think it would be really fun#but i think that any of them (even the candidates i don't know) would be a Fantastic president#we're going to get some good roleplay any way it goes so ill be happy :3#the only mechanic thing i want is for them to open the nether but that feels like a given for anyone so im not worried about it tbh#ty for coming to my tedtalk#hello if you're reading this tag. i see youre just as un-normal about these characters as i am. or you just like to read. respect either wa
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It always rubs me the wrong way when people characterize atsushi as too much of a sweetheart. Like he IS a sweetheart but he's also snarky and sarcastic and most importantly he's very very angry. Do not forget this.
#I think its a product of like. People thinking that being kind and being angry are mutually exclusive#Which they very much are not#Atsushi is an extremely compassionate character who also happens to be angry!! These things do not cancel each other out#Like. He bites and screams and fights when someone hurts him or someone he cares about#He's been hurt so much and he's furious and bitter about it.#He's still a compassionate character. He's so so good. Being angry at people that hurt you is not bad.#He's not someone who just rolls over and takes whats thrown at him. He establishes this very early on#Idk. I just think taking away that part of him that's bitter and angry about the way he was treated#Is a major disservice to his character#Jesus this turned into a tangeant. I love atsushi a lot.#I'm a very angry person myself. I actually like that about myself!! I relate to atsushi a lot just as#Someone whos affected by mental illness in ways that often end up making me someone thats hard to be around#Atsushi is a tiger. He bites. This is important.#Sorry sorry. The atsushi brainrot is strong this morning#ruby speaks#Bsd#Bsd atsushi#Atsushiposting
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