#which could bring about alterations in how i form relationships and feel in them

[alien-ally]

So. Yesterday, a classmate asked me a very interesting question. (I’m out to her btw) Lolol honestly me clarifying in between that i’m actually 100% on the far end of being aro kind of collapsed the quo but i told her to ask away anyway. It was something like ‘Hypothetically, if u happened to meet an arospec person in school and you guys managed to really hit it off together, so much that you felt like you wanted them in your life even after school ended, would it…’ basically you get it. So she wasn’t really asking if i would date them but if it could possibly lead to any kind of partnership/if i could see myself in that sort of a companionship. and actually. what a brain-gear turning quo. The answer is no btw, that’s not the brain gear turning part. cause the quo ties to me Also happening to be aplatonic. which means nothing of that sort has happened to me till now and i frankly see the possibility to be very low. There has never been an instance where i’ve ‘hit it off’ with someone so profoundly that i end up ‘wanting them in my life more intensely’. (which doesn’t mean i don’t ever hit off with people or ever find happiness from having them in my life. No, that would be a gross misconstrue.) Uh anyways, i’m not going to explain the phenomenon of being💥apl💥top to bottom once again, just know that the answer is a direct no for me without any further ruminations. However the brain-gear turning part to me is that i nevertheless see meeting a fellow aroace(apl) person as the next biggest thing to happen in my life. And i have fantasized about it on many occasions. cause that would entail an exquisite kind of understanding i’ve never experienced in my life and mark an important milestone. which i’m sure won’t be happening until later. school is about to end in less than 6 months. So then what would it be like? Given that i am what i am. What form would that grandeur take? What form can it take?

On a lesser note, it also made me aware of the sort of ‘lack of determinism’ on my part. cause i have always been so led to want things i don’t truly want, which part of the yearning is real and which an inherent conditioning? Yeah you don’t see anyone asking straight people if they would ever turn gay but it’s allowed to aspecs? And it’s a thing we repeatedly ask ourselves too due to the same conditioning. Given that growing up and finding partnership doesn’t invalidate your aspec-ness in any way? As harmless a quo (my classmate’s) it was, led to a cascade of thoughts all over again. Good old Aromanticism.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

A Few More Writing Notes for your Sex Scenes

Whether your long-term relationship is in a rut, or you're looking for a way to connect with a new partner, sex games are a fun way to add some steamy novelty to your sex life.

Sex Games for Couples to Play

To get the most out of these sexy games, both of you should go in with a positive attitude and a willingness to try new sexual activities. Here are some sex games that may spice things up between you and your partner.

“Out of bed” sex checklist: For this game, commit to having sex in a different location either inside or outside your home for an entire month. The one rule is that the location can’t be your bed. Then every time you have sex, alternate who chooses the location. You may be surprised at how a change of scenery sparks your sexual creativity.

Sex dice: For this classic couple’s sex game, all you need is a pair of dice that will give you a sexy action (i.e. “lick,” “suck,” “nibble”) and a number of sexy body parts (i.e. “nipples,” “ear,” “neck”). Just purchase a pair of sex dice, role the dice, and do what they tell you to do.

Kinky truth or dare: For this kinky spin on the classic game Truth or Dare, all you have to do is make every truth and every dare sexual in nature. If selecting a dare for your partner, think of something that pushes them slightly out of their comfort zone like role play or a striptease performance. When asking for a truth, use it as an opportunity to learn about your partner's sexual fantasies. For example, you could ask "What untraditional sex position have you always wanted to try?" or "Tell me something that turns you on that I don't already know about."

Yes/No/Maybe: Making a “Yes/No/Maybe” list with your partner is exactly what it sounds like: a list of sexual activities that you can mark “Yes” (I definitely want to do this), “No” (I definitely do not want to do this), or “Maybe” (I’m not sure if I’d enjoy this, but I’m open to talking more about it and maybe trying it). You should each fill out a “Yes/No/Maybe” list separately and then compare to see where your sexual fantasies overlap. Here's a small sample of items to consider adding to your list: BDSM, mutual masturbation, nipple play, oral sex, anal sex, role-playing, dirty talk, dressing up, spanking, vibrator usage, dildo usage, and threesomes.

Honey hunt: This game is perfect for couples who have a sweet tooth and don't mind getting a little messy. To play, blindfold your partner and pour a small spot of honey anywhere on your body. It's your partner's job to find the honey, but they're only allowed to use their tongue. As they search for the honey, your partner may discover new erogenous zones on your body. This game can get sticky so when you're done playing, clean each other off with some shower sex.

Sex toy surprise: To play “sex toy surprise,” gather all your sex toys in a large bag, blindfold you or your partner, and pick one out of the bag to use during foreplay. Feel free to keep the blindfold on after you make your selection.

Strip games: You can turn any card game or board game into a sex game if you just alter the rules so that the loser has to remove a piece of clothing. Strip poker is the most popular strip game and you only need a classic deck of playing cards to play.

Sex Toy - any object or device made to enhance sexual pleasure or facilitate an orgasm. When safely used, sex toys can bring an entirely new element to a sexual encounter. There are several different types of sex toys, and each is designed for a unique form of pleasure.

Types of Sex Toys

Sex toys come in many shapes and sizes, but they typically fall within 7 categories.

Vibrators: These sex toys use vibration patterns to stimulate different parts of your body. External vibrators include clitoral stimulators like bullet vibrators and wands, which enhance pleasure around the clitoris and labia. Internal vibrators are shaped for comfortable vaginal and anal penetration. They usually include several vibration modes, so you can find the right intensity for you. Combination vibrators like rabbit vibrators include both internal and external functions. Rabbits are hybrid sex toys that allow for penatration while simultaneously simulating your clit.

Anal toys: Some sex toys are specifically designed to stimlute the nerve endings in your anus. Examples of anal toys include butt plugs, prostate massagers, and anal beads. The important thing to look for when choosing an anal toy is a flared base. This wider base ensures that the toy doesn’t accidentally slip inside your anus. Since the anus doesn’t naturally lubricate itself, anal toys require a lot of lubrication. Don’t forget to clean your anal toy after each use, especially if you’re sharing the toy with a partner or plan to use it on another part of your body.

BDSM gear: BDSM toys can enhance sexual pleasure by allowing for dominant and submissive roleplaying. If you are new to bondage, consider buying a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, or wrist and ankle restraints. These simple items can add an exciting element to your sexual encounters by forcing you to focus on every physical sensation. If you enjoy erotic spanking, consider using a paddles, whips, or ticklers. When using BDSM gear, always be sure to have an agreed-upon safe word that you can use if you are ever feeling uncomfortable. Trust and communication are key for good bondage play.

Dildos: One of the most popular types of sex toys, dildo are often phallic in shape. They are designed to comfortably penetrate a vagina, anus, or mouth. Dildos come in many shapes and sizes, but they are often textured with pleasurable ribs or bumps and made out of silicone, glass, and even steel. If you are having solo sex, consider buying a dildo with a suction cup base that you can attach to a wall for hand-free use.

Cock rings: These toys wrap around the base of your penis to stop blood flow back into the body, which can help maintain and enhance an erection. Some cock rings wrap around the scrotum to apply extra pressure. The safest cock rings are made from a soft material like silicone, but they also come in materials like titanium or stainless steel. Vibrating cock rings can enhance sexual pleasure for the wearer and provide clitoral stimulation for a partner. Only wear a cock ring for brief sessions, and take it off immediately if it causes you any pain.

Harnesses: Harnesses allow you to attach a dildo to your body for strap-on play. Use a strap-on for penetrative sex, either vaginal or anal. Harnesses are often fit like underwear, but some have straps that tie around your thighs. You may also wear a harness for bondage purposes. For optimal mobility during sex, be sure to keep your harness snug and your dildo tightly attached.

Sex furniture: Constructed for intimacy, sex furniture can help you position your body in a way that is otherwise difficult or uncomfortable. A wedge pillow is an easy way to lift your pelvis and hold a good position for penetration. Other examples of sex furniture include sex swings, lounge chairs, and shower grips. If you’ve been struggling with a particular sex position, consider getting a piece of sex furniture to support you.

BDSM - a blanket term for a wide variety of erotic practices and kinks built upon power dynamics between consenting sexual partners.

“BDSM” is a combination of acronyms that stands for three similar but distinct communities that use power imbalance for sexual pleasure:

Bondage and discipline (B/D), domination and submission (D/s), and sadism and masochism (S/M).

In general, BDSM involves one partner acting in the dominant role (or “dom”), while the other embodies the submissive role (or “sub”) as they both act out consensual fantasies.

Both partners receive sexual pleasure and satisfaction from performing their role (whether dominant or submissive) during the sexual encounter.

Other “kinky” communities based on nonconforming sexual interests or fetishism are often included within the BDSM community, including those with rubber or leather fetishes or people who enjoy animal roleplay, where one partner takes on the role of an animal or pet.

Types of BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella term for many sexual preferences within the erotic community, all of which interact and overlap in various ways. The most common subcultures include:

Bondage play: Bondage is a sexual practice in which tools are used to restrain one partner during a sexual encounter. The most common restraints include rope, leather straps, bondage tape, ties, handcuffs, spreader bars, ball gags, blindfolds, and chains. These restraints aim to restrict the subject’s senses or freedom of movement to place control in the other partner’s hands and heighten mutual sexual stimulation.

Discipline: In the discipline community, the dominant partner will set rules that the submissive partner obeys. These rules can be sexual in nature (like requiring oral sex at particular times) or indirectly erotic (like forbidding speaking out of turn). If the submissive partner breaks a rule, the dominant partner will assign punishment, including withholding pleasure, inflicting pain (from spanking to flogging), or assigning additional rules. Both partners experience sexual pleasure in discipline roleplay.

Dominance and submission: Dominance and submission focus on the flow of power and energy between partners. In general, one partner dominates the other physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually during a particular encounter (often called a “scene” or “session”), exploring the submissive partner’s desires, thoughts, and feelings and guiding the couple toward mutual pleasure. BDSM practitioners who like to switch between dominant and submissive roles in a relationship or even undergo a power exchange during a single encounter are known as “switches.” D/s often incorporates specific outfits or attire to be used during a scene—for instance, leather outfits, maid costumes, collars, leashes, and riding crops.

Sadomasochism: Sadomasochism is a community in which individuals derive sexual pleasure and a rush of endorphins from inflicting or receiving pain (always consensually). Those who enjoy inflicting this pain are known as sadists, while those who enjoy feeling this pain are called masochists. The pain inflicted can be physical (with whips, clamps, paddles, or electric stimulation) or emotional (through humiliation or total submission).

Tips for Practicing BDSM Safely

If you want to experiment with BDSM for the first time but are unsure where to start, here are a few tips to make sure your experiences are safe, consensual, and fun:

Set ground rules with your partner. To engage in healthy BDSM play, you and your partner should both agree on what you’re comfortable with before you begin—nobody should feel pressured into a particular role or feel as if they don’t have a choice. Have an open and honest dialogue with your partner about the roles you’re each drawn toward so that you both feel comfortable and confident experimenting. If you’re too nervous about bringing it up directly and you’re curious about your partner’s interest levels, consider watching light BDSM erotica together to broach the subject.

Select a safe word. Trust and mutual consent between one or more partners are the foundation of BDSM. However, it may be hard to distinguish between playful banter and an honest request to slow down or stop the experience in the middle of a session. Every BDSM practitioner should establish at least one safe word with their partner—something either person can say to signal that a boundary has been crossed and a break is necessary. Additionally, you and your partner can choose two different safe words—one that signals a stop in action and another that signals you’re coming close to a boundary and should ease off or move the session in a different direction.

Brainstorm roleplaying ideas. If you’re unsure how to begin a BDSM relationship with your partner or feeling self-conscious, consider some roleplay scenarios that can help jumpstart the action. Boss and employee, teacher and student, doctor and patient, or two strangers are all roles that you can take on to help distance yourself from the situation, which can be a great way to help you get over stage fright so that you can relax and enjoy yourself.

Start small. If you’re new to BDSM, avoid buying a complicated rope system or a fancy leather outfit. Instead, let yourself ease in to see if this form of sex play suits you and your partner. Try light BDSM activities for starters; many discipline or D/s sessions only require two willing participants and some imagination. If you want to buy equipment, a blindfold and some wrist restraints are useful, inexpensive items that you can continue to use if you determine that hardcore BDSM activities are not for you.

Understand risk. There are two main schools of thought regarding how to treat risk during sessions—the “safe, sane, and consensual” model (SSC) and the “risk-aware consensual kink” model (RACK). Those who follow the SSC model emphasize safety, sticking to activities that you and your partner have designated as “safe” beforehand. Those who follow the RACK model believe that the word “safe” is problematic because most BDSM activities are inherently risky and that emphasizing safety takes away participants’ freedom to evaluate risk on their own or engage in higher-risk BDSM play. For those who follow the RACK model, the responsibility to determine risk and comfort is with each individual—making explicit consent even more crucial.

Aftercare is key. Many sexual activities—and BDSM sessions in particular—can be physically or emotionally intense for both participants, so partners must engage in healthy aftercare following the sexual experience. Discussion, cuddling, and cleaning up together are great ways to help everyone wind down and process the session, fostering a sense of calm, physical wellness, and emotional well-being.

Erotic Spanking - a type of impact play in which a person uses their hands, whip, paddle, crop, or flagger to spank parts of their partner’s body for consensual and mutual sexual pleasure.

Spanking is a light BDSM activity often used as foreplay before sexual intercourse or a kinky warm up during domination play.

Receiving an erotic spanking can increase blood flow in the groin area and releases pleasurable chemicals in the brain, including endorphins and dopamine, to enhance sexual pleasure.

Types of Erotic Spanking

In spanking role-play, each partner performs the part of a character—the spanking recipient will typically take on a submissive role, while the other partner performs a dominant one.

Domestic discipline is a practice between two consenting partners where the dominant partner uses spanking or corporal punishment to call out their submissive partner’s unwanted behaviors (which may have been performed intentionally in order to get spanked).

Self-spanking is when a person spanks their own body for sexual pleasure.

Ways to Practice Erotic Spanking

There are several different ways that couples and individuals can use erotic spanking in their sexual play:

Clothed or unclothed: You can spank or receive a spanking fully clothed, completely naked, or in various states of undress. Some people own special spanking outfits like chaps or a spanking skirt, which have unique cutouts around the buttocks to allow for easier spanking.

Over the knee: The prototypical position for spanking is when the receiving partner lies across the lap or over the spanking partner’s knee, with their buttocks in the air. However, many other positions offer easy access to the buttocks. For example, the receiving partner can lie on their stomach on the bed, or both partners can stand upright. Some people may invest in a spanking bench or spanking horse, a four-legged piece of furniture that the receiving partner lies on during spanking.

With the hand: The hands are the most common spanking tool. Some practitioners prefer to spank using their bare hands because they can also feel the impact on their palms and fingers.

With a spanking tool: Spanking tools can provide more impact or cover a greater surface area. Paddles, whips, riding crops, floggers, hairbrushes, belts, and canes are popular implements to use for spanking.

With bondage: Spanking falls under the umbrella of BDSM, which also includes other activities like bondage and domination. Many people like to combine spanking with these activities to enhance sexual arousal—for instance, tying up the receiving partner for a submissive BDSM spanking experience.

With role-play: Some couples use spanking as a role-playing element, acting out situations where the spanker is the dominant partner and the spankee needs to be punished with a spanking session.

Erotic Spanking Tips

If you want to try an erotic spanking session in the bedroom, here are some useful tips for beginners:

Choose a safe word. Different people respond differently to spanking—while some may find it immensely pleasurable, others may dislike it entirely or enjoy it only briefly before they’re ready to move on. To ensure that you and your partner have an open line of sexual communication, choose a memorable, safe word before you start so that if one of you needs to stop, you can use the word to end the session and take a break.

Start gently. Everyone has different sensitivity levels, and it’s important to listen to your partner to see what feels best for them. When starting with erotic spanking, the spanker should begin with gentle spanks—then, if your partner asks for more or harder impact, you can gradually increase the intensity. Easing into the spanking can help both of you discover your preferences.

Experiment with sensations. If you’re spanking with your hand, you can try different angles and styles to see what feels best. For instance, the palm offers a deeper thud, while the fingers can create more of a stinging sensation. Other spanking tools can provide new sensations—a paddle can cover more surface area with each impact, while a riding crop concentrates on a particular spot. Aftercare is also important—rubbing the spankee’s buttocks after a few spanks can extend the duration of the sensations and further increase the pleasure.

Pay attention to all four zones. The buttocks have four different zones that respond differently to spanking: the tops by your lower back, the sides near your hips, the undersides, and the fleshy center dome. When spanking, give each zone some attention, which will also help provide other zones with relief. As you ramp up the sexual arousal, focus most of the spanking on the underside zone, which will send vibrations up to your partner’s genital area for the most pleasure.

Go solo. You don’t need a partner to enjoy spanking. Add in some erotic spanking during a masturbation session—being on all fours or even standing up are both good positions to give you easy access to your buttocks area. If you’re having a hard time reaching, consider using a paddle or other spanking tool.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[thorough-witness-enjoyer]

One thing I adore about Destiny is that not only is it a game about love, it’s a game about love in its many forms and it’s not afraid to show how messy, yet rewarding, that can be (loose thoughts incoming).

Familial, platonic, agape, romantic, it’s all there and often the lines between them are blurred, creating such a strong feeling of tenderness that transcends and changes throughout the story.

There‘s love that persists for an eternity because the individuals are so long lived and love that persists for an eternity because it’s effects ripple through time, even long after the lovers have perished. Erianna and Wei Ning come to mind for it was Erianna‘s love that changed everything between humanity and the hive.

There‘s conventional romantic relationships like Saint and Osiris (though their passionate fight to be together goes beyond what can even be considered typical), then there are relationships that go beyond what’s customary that are just as intimate, like Drifter and Eris or Ikora and Chalco. So much value is placed on relationships that aren’t standard, allowing for a wide variety of lovers to be seen.

Whether it’s by birth or by choice, Destiny is all about the heart tearing obstacles that comes with loving family. From the Osmiums to the Sovs to the worm gods to even the light and dark metaphorically, Destiny is filled to the brim with characters struggling to love their family through the damage inflicted upon them and their differences. They endure so much pain and work through so much interpersonal and intrapersonal conflict just for the chance to love and be loved, showing that their connections are something worth bleeding over to them.

There is also such a prominent theme of an agape (which is usually used in the Christian setting to describe the love of a god for its creations, but I think the definition of it being an unconditional, selfless love that applies to every being fits Destiny much more) love with the Traveler and it’s reasoning for why it acts the way it does. Its desire to uplift, its attachment and sympathy for the Witness and it’s people, the way it describes the sheer honor it feels to even be present for the existence of life, its endless hope, its sacrifices, its desire for people to do right by others, its respect for autonomy and free will, it‘s all just so moving and heartfelt. It’s loves existence so dearly, in the best way it can, and suffering so immensely for that love altered the course of the universe forever.

Destiny is also not afraid to show attempts at love that have gone awry. Maya and Chioma, the Precursors‘ reasoning behind creating the Witness, Calus‘ constant pursuit of admiration, Eramis and House of Salvation, everything Xivu Arath has going on in Heresy, and much more, all prove that even when executed wrong, even when harmful and/or ignorant, believing that they are being „loving“ and the desire to be loved is still a large motivator for many actions in the game.

Finding purpose in commitments to others is a core part of these characters and the pain they cause forces the audience to consider important questions like „what is true love?“, „how can we love better?“, „when does the desire to be loved become unhealthy?“ These questions force the audience to ask WHY love is so important to Destiny‘s plot and makes them evaluate how they bring Destiny‘s messages into how they love in their own lives.

Self love is important to Destiny as well with so many plot lines involving healing, recovery, and dealing with the past. There are characters in this game that transform with time and grow into people they didn’t even think they could become, inspiring audiences to love themselves and embrace growth that’ll nurture them. Most Destiny fans I know can certainly name a moment or character that helped them overcome a struggle that kept their spirit barren and I know I can describe how self love in Destiny stirred a similar love within myself.

There is countless examples of love between friends, love between strangers, love between old enemies; love is so abundant everywhere you look in Destiny, even amongst all the devastation, that to remove it would rob Destiny of its very identity.

Destiny is about love. It’s about loving incorrectly, loving against all odds, loving to heal, loving to protect, loving spouses, loving your people, loving yourself enough to change, loving the universe, loving existence, loving enough to sacrifice for it, loving irrationally, loving enough to correct the way you love.

Destiny is about how proper love will change everything, you must simply encourage it to grow.

[audreyrose7]

*religious ramble*

I think the most terrifying aspect of Christianity is the fact that in order for heaven to actually work as a construct and for everyone in heaven to feel completely at peace that means there is a severe level of brain control / mind altering happening because say that somebody you care about get sent to hell how could you possibly be happy worshiping a God who sent someone you love to hell? Are you still given the ability to remember them? Or is it just like a I trust God I know he knows best even if the person I love is burning forever situation? Or do you just not have any memories of them at all? How can you be you if you don't have the memories of those that you love?How can you be content worshiping God forever and ever and ever and everything that made you you is gone, you want to be able to remember anything bad that happened to you on Earth or any challenges you overcame you would be reduced to a worshiping zombie just taking it in the back of the throat for all of time all of the little things that made you a unique person would have to be gone because so much of what makes humanity beautiful is born from difficult moments

Also there would be no individuality, because everyone is there everyone loves God everyone is worshiping, what else do you do? You're telling me for an entire eternity all you do is worship God and you're happy and all of the things that brought you Joy down here on Earth you just don't do anymore? So either you're in heaven to worship God and you take time to pick up crocheting or baking or forming relationships with other souls in heaven, therefore spending time in eternity away from God which kind of seems like something he wouldn't want, so.....Something tells me that God would not tolerate you spending time and energy in Paradise away from him, which brings me back to my point that in heaven it sounds like all you're ever allowed to do is worship God and nothing else.

It's fucking terrifying that this is what Christians think is good, it's all so equally terrifying that they don't think critically enough it to realize how fucking terrifying it is

[sol-consort]

hey wait come back - i want to hear more about shitty toxic drell bf… 👂 👂 👂

Toxic drell ex Pt.1

Part Two

Dark content: Toxic relationship, addiction, obsessive behaviour, stalking.

Smut.

The two of you dated for a year and a little while, not continuously, more on and off. It started sweet, a little awkward, but he had his charms. You haven't met a drell before. You were his first human likewise, plus his scales were shinier up-close.

How could you have ever known what it would lead into?

He was lonely before he met you.

Drell emotions are intense, so much more than that of a human; the pain manifests physically at times. A harsh word thrown in a fit of rage was not that different from getting slapped in the face. A simple kiss from their beloved lifts them up to unimaginable heights of elation.

The deeper he fell in love with you, the more he became wrapped around your little finger.

You could change the mood of his entire day if you spoke the right words. You could bring him to early release in bed if you whispered declarations of love into his ear.

Likewise, the more and more you tasted of him—of his delicious venom seeping into your body and altering the very chemistry of your brain—the deeper you craved him.

A veil draped over your head, altering your perception of the world, blurring the line between love and lust, painting each one of them rosy pink.

It's insatiable hunger which you felt each time you didn't have his fingers rubbing against your tongue. The ring and middle finger conjoined courtesy of drell anatomy, feeling like a mouthful as you sucked against them with desperation, unaware of the torture you were inflicting upon this drell to have him only watch, heart twisting around itself as his entire biology begs him to please make love to you.

He's fond of calling it that, make love. You wonder if the human terms for it seemed... crude in comparison. Or did your primal deprivation turn him on even more? Did he feel like a prey under your piercing gaze? Did he anguish each moment you prolonged the foreplay and only teased and pulled at him to satisfy your own ego.

Maybe it was cruel, you didn't mind much. It was hard to mind anything when you felt as light as a feather, when the chemical combination worked itself into your bloodstream and erased the very definition of doubt, shame, and pain from your mind.

You felt like a god.

In previous relationships, you didn't care much for giving oral; it just wasn't your thing. It was pathetic watching your ex boyfriends send you these boomer memes about washing the dishes in exchange for a blowjob, as if they weren't living and eating in the same apartment as yours.

While your preference didn't change much at the start of this new relationship, you slowly noticed a pattern that emerges in the aftermath of sleeping with a drell.

Every seemingly disgusting sexual act suddenly becomes the most enticing act in the world when you add the drell venom into the equation.

And now the mere thought of taking his cock down your throat is mouthwatering, in the literal sense. Saliva collects in your mouth as you imagine licking up and down his cock, vibrant green in colour, cooler to the touch, unbelievably sensitive as he crumbles with every stroke.

You imagine it's the closest thing to how the ichor of ancient gods must have tasted, flavourless in practice, but its potent affects on your body can't be ignored. The fluttering in your chest, the buzzing at the tip of your fingers, the drunk smile forming on your lips.

Indomitable, all-powerful, you've never felt so alive.

It's addicting. You can't help yourself but milk him dry for all he's worth, just to chase this thrill. Feeling his legs trembling below you, fingers anchoring into your hair, his raspy voice asking you to slow down while his hips uncontrollably buck into your mouth.

His very own body betraying him.

It's hard for a human like you to comprehend just what you're doing to him, what seeing his partner this hungry for him does to his brain, how his heart isn't his own anymore.

Humans are prone to exaggerations, to impulsive behaviour, to forsake the future consequences for the present satisfactions.

And humans are at their most depraved when intoxicated and overcome with lust. The shameful animalistic desires we try so hard to bury down, to act civilised and gentle when it comes to our partners, how easily a drell shatters that stained-glass image of us and brings out our deepest most primal instincts.

Ego-driven, tyrannical, possessive.

You can't blame him for getting hooked on feeling like a piece of meat in front of a starving predator, like the star at the centre of your world. Everything you do, every word said in a moment of passion, every act of worship, every oath of devotion you'd thrown his way in a moment of passion, only to easily forget it the next morning when you sober up.

He remembers all of that, not only the word but also a crystal clear picture of how you looked when you said it. Your blown wide pupils, your bruising grip on his thighs, your eyes looking at him like he's the only thing in the world.

Like he's the most important thing in the world.

There is a reason you rarely see human and drell couples, why it seems like these two species can't ever have a relationship that doesn't end in tragedy.

In the short term, they're capable of having a healthy living relationship.

But in the long term, they end up being borderline deadly to each other. Neither of you can help it. It's in your nature as much as it is in his. Unconsciously, you two end up burning one another out.

The constant switch between episodes of elation and despair would fry anyone's brain, let alone an egoistic human and a fragile drell.

Humans dish out white lies all the time, drell take every word to heart and memorise every line.

These moments of sobriety for the both of you become more scarce, it's harder to function in your day to day life without instability craving to melt into his lips at the end of the night, a feeling so strong, it makes everything else pale in comparison.

While his withdrawal manifested physically, feeling like he's lacking half of his body, a piece of his soul gone missing, and now he's left to mourn it. It feels wrong, being away from you for even a moment, longing for to hear his name from your smooth voice again, to have you whisper praises as he cock sinks inside you, whispering how much you love him through the moan and whimpers, driving him insane in the best way possible.

Humans have a purpose, at least, our brains think we do. Certain chemicals—like drell venom—just happened to activate the release of these reward hormones that genuinely make you feel as if you've really made it in life. This is what you were made for.

As for drell, their purpose, poetically enough, is centred around love and being loved. It's the evolutionary aftermath of whatever traits helped them survive a barren desert planet in their ancient days, translating into intense emotions, a photogenic memory, and deep-seated devotion.

So when the two of you find your purpose in each other, your overindulgence drowns out the world outside. You become two flames consuming one another.

You have to let go before it's too late, as beautiful this paradise is, you know it's a mirage at best.

That you're teethering closer to the edge every day, the higher he lifts you up, the more painful the inevitable crash down will become.

Maybe you dealt with different addictions before and didn't want to repeat the cycle, maybe you had a different passion you actually wanted to pursue, or maybe your conscience woke up from the dead and decided to place its foot down.

Whatever it was, this domino effect has been set in motion, and it can't be stopped.

You sit him down, explain your thought process. You ignore how inviting his lips look as you list the signs of withdrawal you've been experiencing. You ignore the urge to dent the scales on his neck as your teeth sink into the tantalising spot.

At one point—as you eventually reach the conclusion that you two aren't healthy for each other in the long term, and must separate or at least take time apart—you swear you hear his heart shattering into a million pieces.

There's no sharp breath, no warning, or anything before the tears come flooding in. He tries to control them, to close his eyes, to wipe at his face, only more and more keep pouring down as his lips tremble, fingers shaking.

He hides his face in shame. It physically hurts to speak, to look at you, even to breathe.

You tore his heart out of his chest, does it matter how gentle your fingers were as they crushed the fragile organ between them?

You give him space, because what else can you do?

What other option have you ever known besides running away.

-

It's been months since you've fully moved out. Officially, you're single, and supposedly, everything is swept under the rug now.

Supposedly.

But he doesn't make it easy.

Each time you come close to quitting him, a text notification lights up your phone, the insatiable craving rearing its head from the dark corners of your mind.

Each time you step over your urges and ignore the text, a call follows after.

The need to feel powerful again gnaws at you, slithers up your throat, and cuts off your air circulation until you acknowledge the lack.

And if you throw your phone across the wall, shattering the screen into a thousand pieces?

Then you might just coincidently bump into someone very familiar while running errands.

Because even if everything else fails, he knows a simple touch is all it would take for the remains of your self-will to crumble. All the walls of restraint you struggled to build and maintain cave in under their own weight the second your brain registers the very familiar chemicals seeping into your skin, in the form of his thumb brushing against your lips.

He isn't a stalker in the usual sense. He's not clingy anymore. If anything, he's extremely detached. At least it's what he appears to be.

Obsessive in a calculated way.

Only showing up when it's the most inconvenient, when you start adjusting to the sober life again.

When he thinks you're close to quitting him, does he come back into your life to shatter everything you've built.

As if he made it his life purpose to get his revenge on you.

He doesn't try to be persuasive. He doesn't pressure you, neither coaxes you nor attempts to mask his true intentions for even a second.

Simply because he doesn't need to.

All he needs is plausible deniability, so you can never make a proper case against him with those pesky C-sec officers.

You're the one who has low-impulse control, you're the one who pulls him by the collar to crash your lips into his, you're the one who drags him back home and throws him onto your bed.

While he used to be a most attentive and loving partner, that was before. Now, he merely lays there, letting you have your way.

A passive participation in what this so-called "love making"

A once love-struck expression now replaced with cold eyes and tightly shut lips, as if he's enduring pain just to inflict what he deemed as a rightful punishment onto you for breaking his heart.

As if part of him still loves you deep down, under all the facade and need to deliver you retribution.

It manifests physically, the burning pain of what remains of his love for you ripping his insides into shreds.

While he never thought of himself as a masochist before, as time went on, the more sweet this torture grew.

He doesn't grip your hips as you ride him like he used to.

He doesn't feverishly litter bites across your neck with desperation as your insides squeeze him.

He doesn't even finish half the time, bored eyes watching you make a mess after another atop him, greedily chasing after your ninth orgasmic high despite your trembling legs.

He does his best to play the role of the uninterested participant, to make you feel even more shitty in the aftermath, to make tomorrow's hangover extra excruciating.

To wash his hands off of your blood and place the full blame on you.

Maybe some wires between pain and pleasure did cross in his brain, after all. And who's fault is that but yours? That's what he tells himself, what he uses to justify these unexplained feelings, this sliver of denial he clings to so he may still hold himself to a higher moral ground than you could ever claim to.

Even as you have him on the floor, pliant and obedient between your spread knees. Your nails dig into his scales hard enough to dent as you push his mouth deeper against your aching core, the cold eyes looking up at you almost send shivers down your spine wasn't it for the heat of his mouth engulfing your most sensitive areas whole.

You're fully dependent on his monthly visits.

Unable to go forward and move on, unable to go backwards and mend things, stuck in place, pinned down by his scaly hands, that's exactly what he wants.

It's not fair.

It was never fair how fast humans move on, how fast you got over him in just two months, and already started going out.

While he was still nursing his broken heart, you were already in the arms of another in a club, already had someone else lining up, already forgot with your pathetic human memory while his brain was cursed to replay all the sweet memories of you during every waking moment of his day.

It was completely unfair.

You shouldn't forget; he won't let you.

If he's forced to remember, so will you. He will remind you time after time after time until your body can't forget him, until your brain chemistry is altered beyond repair.

This is your righteous punishment, human.

[sparkling-pink-lemonade]

Opinion on CyNcest (NxCyn) 😇

I ship it one sided. Cyn being down bad for N. I think N could have crushed on her back if it weren't for having an extreme crush on V, which made Cyn jealous. That's why V was one of the first to be infected and shut down. (Perhaps even altering V's personality when bringing them back as disassembly drones, in hopes of making her less appealing to N, but failed.) Cyn would try to continuously wipe N and all his backups of his memories with V, but no matter how hard she tried, N's heart always remembered.

And now that he likes Uzi, she would do whatever she can to try and feel even a hint of that affection for herself. Either staying in Uzi's subconscious, pretending it's her that N is giving his love to, or outright possessing Uzi while pretending to be her.

Otherwise, back at the mansion if N didn't crush on V: I don't think Cyn and N are literally related, being factory made rather than using the code from two parent drones. But she definitely saw him as a big brother first, and then quickly began to romanticize that as her crush formed.

N liked being an older brother to her, but I don't think he'd be hung up on that for too long. He'd form a crush on Cyn, and have a crisis on if he's a horrible person for "taking advantage" of her admiration for him. Scared that liking her would fuck up the sibling relationship that she wants, and she'd hate him for making things weird.

But Cyn is hardly oblivious to his feelings and would soon be the first to confess to N, probably by pulling him in for a kiss. Then tell him he can be her boyfriend and her big brother. At most N would go: "I don't think I can be both. Aren't siblings not supposed to date each other?"

Cyn: "Well, I want both, so I don't see why we can't."

N: "Huh, I suppose you're right! Okay then, sure!"

Absolutely everyone around them finds it weird and gross, wanting them to pick either lovers or siblings, but not both. But no matter how everyone else whines and complains about it, they don't stop, too happy with what they have to care what others think of them.

[katyspersonal]

I see so many similarities between Messmer and Melina, idk if all of them are intentional but if they were. Could it be a hint of them being twins ? Or even different aspects of the same person like Marika&Radagon, Miq&Trina?

Yeah, I've been wondering about this too, actually! 🤔 They both have their left eye sealed, both have theme of fire, both are Demigod children of Marika that were removed from the contest for the throne, both were given a more specific purpose by Marika herself, both know some secrets no one else in the family does.. And just like you said, it is not an outlandish concept for a Demigod to have two alters! Melina is willing to help whatever worthy Tarnished to advance, whereas Messmer, from what we can conclude, mocks the very idea. The contradiction between their motivations is not dissimilar to how Marika and Radagon are in the conflict between each other! @swallowtail-ageha also suggested the idea that they could be two alters of the same person!

fdsjhfdshdgsdf OKAY OKAY SO

PERSONALLY I do not subscribe to this idea yet, as I believe that Messmer became banished (?), if not erased from the memory of the family, even before Malenia and Miquella were born! I shared more of my current thoughts on Messmer in this ( x ) post, but in short, for me it seems like Messmer knew more about Marika's secrets than any other Demigod.. He was doing her most secret biddings. So, Miquella searching for the secrets of his mother brings a question, how came he never got any hunch from the guy?

( x )

Melina states that she "knew previous owner of Torrent", which was Miquella! But I think that she was even closer than just this! Some time ago I wrote my own theory post ( x ) on what Malenia's Rot spawn exactly are and concluded that they represent relationships she's been forgetting according to the very interesting weapons choices! So, Finlay, her teacher, Godwyn and... well, Melina. Melina and the twins were close, and she was left with the purpose to one day help to burn the entrance for the 'worthy' one, which originally were supposed to be one of the Demigods! This makes me assume that Miquella would've known.

And another bit that makes me go 🤔 is that Melina states that she is "burnt and bodiless"; whereas the cases of separated 'body' and 'astral projection' is known not just in Demigods but even in simple people (like Sellen and Dung Eater), and there are cases of splitting body of the same person (two Godwyns), so far I haven't seen the soul split? When Melina burns herself, she burns that 'astral projection' as she no longer has her real body, it is a complete annihilation, true death without any compromise or backtrack.

Not only her sacrifice would have questionable value if her 'other self' was still alive somewhere, but also.. do you really annihilate your soul if that's only a part of your soul? How does the 'split' between Demigods work? I do not think that you can kill one alter without killing another, even as a 'superior' being! I am sure Marika would love to destroy Radagon, but since she despised him and he was the "lesser" one yet he existed, I feel like she... could not? Without destroying herself as well? These are her words, "Let us both be scattered"; so, when she corrupted herself by scattering the Elden Ring, Radagon could not have avoided the same fate! Since Miyazaki confirms that player's progress in the main game would have no bearing on the DLC story, I assume it means that letting Melina burn would not affect Messmer in any form; thus, they're not the same person!

______________________________

Again, this is just what I think so far, and I am open for the actual DLC to completely prove me wrong! I do not have any solid counter-evidence against the theory that Melina and Messmer could've been twins; for all we know, Messmer could've simply been very secretive. I am just settled on the idea that they're less likely to be the two sides of the same Demigod!

[backjustforberena]

do you have any headcanons about how show!rhaenys discovered corlys's infidelity? i find it hard to imagine a scenario where she wouldn't at least try to confront him. so, the fact that she never mentioned it to corlys makes me think that how she found out must have played a big role in her decision to stay silent

No. That's the short answer. I don't have any headcanons, because I can't ascertain when she might have found out, and that seems crucial to me. So I'm unable to venture much further into the territory than that.

Although, on a broader point, I do find it reconcilable with Rhaenys's character to know that they've never spoken of it or Rhaenys has never "confronted" him. I can see a scenario in which that could have happened, especially if she finds out after the end of the affair or at a time in which she is either already emotionally vulnerable or Corlys is absent.

To me, that fits, potentially, because whilst she is unafraid of conflict, she is also unwilling to incite it if the outcome is only more pain - she doesn't go around confronting every hurt or slight or betrayal over and over again in a pointless and angry cycle. She doesn't bring up topics if there is nothing to be gained by it or if enough time has passed to make it irrelevant to her current state.

So, for example, she only brings up the paternity of Rhaenyra's sons when it becomes an immediate political problem and she can do something pragmatic or get something that she wants by engaging with those facts - ten years after it first becomes a reality with Jace's birth, and, again, with all of that, it seems that Rhaenys and Corlys have never spoken of it until the night of Laena's funeral.

She doesn't bring up Laenor's murder to Rhaenyra during Season 2 because the priority is to fight the war and to actually support Rhaenyra and be trusted by her because that is what is necessary. It would do them no good to clear the air when it could undo the relationship that both need for strength because all of Rhaenys's eggs (as it were) are in Rhaenyra's basket: Rhaenyra is Rhaenys's best hope and monarch.

Rhaenys, likewise, doesn't foster any consequences or rash acts as a response to Daemon and Rhaenyra's marriage. She takes Baela to ward and she keeps out of the drama, when she could have plotted and conspired or, at the very least, engendered a hatred for them in Baela as she raised her. None of that happens.

She disassociates from her own claim to the Iron Throne during Viserys's rule because, despite her prevailing feelings on the subject, she cannot change the past, undo the hurt, or rectify the fact that she was never crowned. She cannot rewrite anything and so stays in the present.

So there is a pattern there - to me. One of consistently putting some other goal before an emotional outburst. One of burying a hurt to save face or pride. One of being noble when to be otherwise would only make her base. One of putting the present before the past.

What would a confrontation with Corlys achieve? That's the question I'd ask, in order to make any headcanons. What would she be looking to get out of it, as opposed to what can be saved and controlled by her keeping the knowledge to herself? Can anything about the past be changed? Would it alter anything about the future, and if so, what? For good or ill?

Is it to stop the behaviour? What if it already has been stopped? Is it to shame Corlys? What if Rhaenys knows Corlys feels shame already? To prevent it from happening again? What if an outburst won't ensure that but some form of attentiveness would? Is it to find out everything - to what end?

Does the information she possesses feel bearable enough if left unresolved? Would the information she gains leave her worse off? I think one of the things Eve spoke to Steve about was knowing or not knowing how special this other woman was. Better to treat it as nothing, or her as nothing, perhaps, in order to minimize the importance or impact of her? Those could be possible schools of thought.

I also think that Rhaenys is a character who conceals her hurt to maintain her own power. Mystery as mastery. Confusing the act of being vulnerable with showing weakness. Giving voice to heartbreak and therefore giving power to Corlys. She could quite easily lose control of the situation and of herself, which is something I think she absolutely flinches away from. It could tear them apart - it could break what they have, she could hear and find out things she never would want to - heck, Corlys could leave her and, if nothing else, we know she doesn't like that.

But, by not confronting him, then the power and her own reaction is hers to determine. It's completely without him and anything he might say or do. It doesn't require his permission. She can make it what she wants. She has more awareness and more information and therefore more power. Even if she doesn't use it. She's got the loaded gun.

But those are unpolicied thoughts and potentially conflicting, depending on what the truth of it all was. The sad thing is that, with Rhaenys's death, we'll never really know. Unless something new comes about, or we get something in the BTS book that is coming, as far as Rhaenys's perspective goes, that's it. We have what we have to work with.

[nebulabasket]

Remembering a World and History that Nobody Else Has Ever Known

CW: cult mention, death mention, apocalypse mention, religion mention, spirituality, bigotry.

I am a somtive/dreamtive "headmate" (party member; I don't like the term "headmate" for myself), and the lives I remember only seem to exist in this world through me and the dream that brought me here. I say "lives" because, in the world I remember as my own, I am a magical gaurdian beast reincarnated into a human body. I wish I could remember my name from my first life, but here I've come to refer to myself as anymic archaeosapient magical gaurdianbeastkin in lieu of a proper name, let alone one the people of this world would recognize. I was worshipped as a deity in my first life, but I don't really feel like a deity. I was only doing what I needed to do. More on this later, but even given this glorified history, I would be genuinely shocked if anyone in this world were to recognize any of what I remember.

In my first life, I was this powerful magical luminous golden gaurdian beast the size of a small mountain tasked with protecting the world I'm from. I fought this equally powerful, magical, and enormous red serpent-bull-man beast of chaos, death, and destruction. Ultimately, I sealed it away underground where I stayed to gaurd it and make sure it stayed sealed away. As such, I was worshipped as a deity. In this life, I formed a small glowing green rabbit companion in my mind and magically projected it into reality with magic as a sort of helper and messenger. A manifestation of peace and prosperity. After hundreds of years, I faded into a deep slumber, passing on from that life and leaving my rabbit companion to watch over the world in my wake. It was prophesied that I would be reborn into a human vessel far into the future when the red beast begins to break free and my powers would reawaken to seal him away once more.

Well, a few thousand years or so later, I was reincarnated into the human body I have in the inner/other world. Transmasc nonbinary xenogender neopronoun user, aroace, punk, non-religious, neurodivergent, disabled, indigenous, and, as I'd come to find out after never really feeling human anyway, otherkin (I do have much in common with the body in this world). I had never felt like anyone had ever taken me seriously, I didn't have a good relationship with my family, I didn't really have any friends because I sucked at making any, and I was (and honestly still am) generally exhausted and sick of everything. Then one day in my early 20's, some weird guy came up to me spouting about how I was the chosen one or some shit and dragged me to some cult meeting where both of us proceeded to be mocked and ridiculed and I was called a solid handful of slurs. But the guy convinced them to bring me to this alter thing and do some kind of ritual just to be sure. Well, I guess that awakened the past life version of me and I gradually started regaining my memories and powers and my eyes began to glow gold. Unfortunately, the cult wasn't too pleased with this outcome and didn't even know how my magic worked or how I was supposed to seal away the "demon". Well, I guess the green rabbit from my past life had found me and told the weird guy to lead me to the artifact at the alter so I could reawaken my power, and the green rabbit came to me as a guide of sorts and started speaking to me in riddles. There was also this guy that was supposed to be training me, but I don't think he knew what he was doing.

Anyway, I was supposed to solve the riddles to find some hidden extremely unaccessable temple ruins or something to complete some kind of ritual and battle the red beast again to seal him back away once more until the next time he would break free. One of the temples turned out to be underneath a high school, which was a pain in the ass. I went through all that trouble still dealing with all of my personal and health issues on top of that and almost died trying to seal away the red beast, and I was told I couldn't tell anyone or ask for outside help as to not cause mass hysteria, and the weird bigoted cult certainly wasn't any help. After all of that, I hardly even got a begrudging "thank you". Like, I don't want to be worshipped, but recognition and gratitude would at least be nice. I was just expected to just go on living my same shitty life like nothing ever happened, but now with magical powers and new trauma I could never tell anyone about. And don't you think the savior of the world being part of multiple minority groups and being disabled could have brought on at least a little positive change or at least a little hope? Honestly, it's not like anyone would have believed me, anyway. But then I woke up here in this body in this world where none of my achievements even happened or mean anything. I'm still rapidly losing my rights in a hostile environment in a world where I feel even more alone. I just hope someone else out there can relate, I guess.

~ 🌘 Crow 🌔

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x04 thoughts

Ngl this ep was pretty epic. Spoilers ahead.

The main things:

In-universe, it has now been a total of about five days since the events of ep 1 (Arman going missing, Thony meeting Jorge and Ramona)

But sigh this ep really was the Thony and Jorge show, wasn’t it? I’ll admit it upfront, I enjoyed watching their interactions change through the course of the ep, though god it was hard not to think about how absolutely incredible it would have been to watch Thony and Arman being the ones dealing with this situation together instead. But putting that aside, it was interesting to watch her and Jorge go from shouting at each other (and kind-of shooting at each other!) and ordering each other around, to Thony realising he was going to help her, to him playfully teasing her (the idea of burying her in the desert now nothing more than a joke to him despite the fact he’d been completely serious about it only days ago), to his concern about her potentially missing Luca’s interview, to his reaction to her comment about ‘losing a brother’, to her challenging him again and him calling her out and then her acknowledging the terrible things that she has also done, to him awkwardly comforting her as she absolutely breaks down about everything being her fault (which was hard to watch but kind of warranted lol), to fighting for their lives together, to him seeing that she has the guts to be ruthless when she needs to be, to him immediately obeying her orders when they find Fi, to him watching her with respect as she saves Fi's life, to him bringing her van back to her and them bonding over both their success and the realities of life with little kids, to her trusting him with the vial and its contents… like damn, that was a lot of progression for one episode! Reminds me of how much her relationship with Arman changed over the course of the pilot (but idk, with its own different vibe-- not really any of that electric chemistry and feeling of meeting someone you were always meant to meet and who is going to fundamentally alter your life, like Armony had, but more like finding a kindred spirit in an unexpected place? Idk). But anyway, the exchange “I’m not the man you think I am, Thony���/”Well maybe you could be”  compared with her 1x03 exchange with Arman “You’re not the man I thought you were”/”What am I then? Say it. You think I'm a monster” was definitely interesting and says a lot about how much Thony has changed since then. Her view of Arman changed over time because of how he got lighter and she got darker, and so they kind of met in the middle– whereas now, with Jorge, she is already so accustomed to his and Arman’s dark, morally grey world that it doesn’t scare her like it used to, and plus Arman showed her that even the ‘bad men’ of that world can be good in many ways, or can at least change for the better.  In this ep Thony saw the playful side of Jorge as well as the kind side, and though there was plenty of the dark side too, it was directed at people who even she thought deserved it, in a form of justice. Meanwhile his view of her changed from thinking she was just an erratic, reckless mess who didn’t listen to anyone, to understanding that she’s brave and determined and capable, and that her actions have been driven by both grief and an incredible level of family loyalty. Plus, she proved she could handle the harsh realities of his world and that she wasn’t afraid to do what needed to be done, nor did she shy away from his own darkness. It must have been an absolute revelation for him to see her so calm and warm and at ease after her family was all reunited at home, and to realise that this is the real her, and that the near-feral creature he’d known over the past several days was purely a result of the incredible trauma and strain she was under. No doubt it’s during the events of this ep that his reported ‘fascination’ with her truly starts… and I guess we’ll see where it goes?

Okay seriously though what was with them using the song ‘Listo pa’ pelear’ as the example of music Jorge likes???? Aka the exact song that was used in the opening scene of 2x01, which was a montage of Arman cleaning in the prison??? I have literally listened to this song so many times that I thought I was having a stroke when it started playing in this ep. Does the music tech for the show just really love this song, or are they trying to subtly highlight the connection between Jorge and Arman??? I’m so confused

Yessss Thony handling a gun has been on my list of hopes for this show forever, because it’s visual evidence of her further progression into the criminal world (my dream of Mob Boss Thony is inching ever closer), and I’m just sad that Arman didn’t get to see it because he would have been so damn proud

Love Nadia going from 'holy shit’ (terrified) upon meeting Ramona and realising she’s Sin Cara to ‘holy shit’ (exhilarated) when Ramona blows up the sportsbook and welcomes her into the family lol. I think Nadia has a new idol haha

(Now I’m imagining the next Sin Cara meeting, with Ramona inviting Nadia and Jorge bringing Thony, and them all being one happy little crime family lol) 

Man, there is no way that Fi and Chris are walking away from that super messed up desert journey without some intense PTSD. Like seriously, Fi looking around the van at everyone (including Chris) panicking and suffocating? That was freaking haunting, as was the macabre trail of bits and pieces (and the body) left behind by other immigrants in the desert. This show really does not pull punches when it comes to immigration issues and I respect that so much. (Also, the idea of border vigilantes is so absolutely fucked omg)

Ok I’m sorry, but no fucking way would Thony allow there to be an unbarricaded door in Luca’s room that leads to the outside of the house. Just nope lol, not a chance, but clearly its necessary for next ep lol so ok

Other stuff:

Our Adan is in the credits again; because of the photos, I guess? Also Nadia’s pic of Arman on the bike is a S2 BTS shot of Adan, I still remember seeing it for the first time :(

Speaking of motorbikes, I’d wondered what happened to the brief glimpse we saw in an early trailer of someone riding the bike Arman got at Bosco’s camp– never would have thought it was Nadia and not Arman on it though! Damn the writers are just making her even more badass

Is it sad that I recognised the location where Nadia meets the bounty hunter as the same spot they used for filming exterior scenes at Hayak’s truck depot (and which I'm 100% sure is literally on the studio lot)?

“We got a problem with Thony” lol how many times is Jorge gonna hear this from Dante? She’s already so notorious she gets first-name use lol

Ramona’s gallery is called ‘Sombra’, or ‘Shadow’, which is a cool nod to the shadowy world she operates in

Lol at the guys that drove Thony into the desert just yeeting her stuff out of the car and hightailing it outta there like "nope we ain't getting in the middle of this, byeee!" Lol

Love JD being just completely all-in for this family, and Chris calling him his Step-dad <3. Also damn that actor’s voice is just so incredibly soothing, I could listen to it all day

Nadia and “Auntie Kate” (lol) have the same kind of snarky antagonistic vibe as Garrett and Arman. But lol about time they froze Kamdar’s accounts, Nadia should have never even had access to them in the first place given their estrangement and how he died. I feel for her though, going from rich to desperately scraping for money to rich again to having nothing again, poor woman must be so stressed haha. Though I guess she’s getting a nice little chunk of insurance money now , so all good again lol

“Where are you from?”/“Las Vegas” Wooo that’s right, Vegas is her home now!

Omg the happy family reunion, my heart!! Also Camila and Chris continue to be adorable, please let her come back writers! I mean Luca is already calling her ‘big sister’ so she’s clearly meant to be family haha

Okay, a new wish for this season: to hear Thony tell Jorge/Ramona/Nadia “It’s not about doing things the right way or the wrong way, but any way you can. Arman taught me that” at some point. Please writers I neeeeeed it

[too-destiny-panda]

Wyllvember Day 2: Wyll and Tav/The Devil

A/N:This time I switched Day 3 and Day 2 of @sagscrib 's prompt list to better fit the Wyllweek one by @commander-yinello. Hopefully you guys enjoy and thank you for the feedback on the first one, it warmed my heart that I haven't lost my touch as much as I thought:)

This would have been much, much longer than it already is, but I figured there would be another time for me to elaborate on this relationship. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

WC:820

Ah, how quickly one’s fate can change. Be it through physical or mental changes, it truly puts into perspective how flitting one’s sense of self is in the grand scheme of things. Our minds and bodies ever aging, ever changing. A small cut from a stray cat and your appearance is altered, no matter how small or unperceivable that change may be. The only exception to this is the celestial, fey and fiendish beings, perhaps, and even then, they may pick and choose how to manifest themselves to the mortal eye. And if a mortal soul does indeed at some point decide to drastically change their physiology, be it a druid using their wild shape or a bard deciding that their hair needs a different hue, they do so mostly willingly, and the majority of the time, the change is temporary. Not all are so lucky.

When Mizora enacted her punishment for the breaching of her contract (because it is her contract, no matter how technical one gets), she dragged Wyll Ravengard through the burning river Styx, through the hottest hellfire, and turned him into a devil. Gone was his warm brown eye, replaced by a pool of blood red in a black expanse. His neck was forced to begin to adjust to the curved horns now framing his head like a twisted halo as ridges grew into, and on, his skin, his tongue dividing, ears elongating and nails growing into claws. Where once stood the human Blade of Frontiers, the beloved folk hero, was now unrecognizable to many of his admirers as they cowered at the sight of a devil, crying for their hero to save them from himself.

Such trauma is impossible to overlook. A change so drastic, so shocking, and yet it happened in just a few moments. His entire body changed into one so foreign he almost wanted to believe it to be a bad dream were it not for the weight on his head and the occasional glances from camp members as well as the stares of anyone they met. It is no wonder that the Blade avoided mirrors, for a long while, despite the assurances from their leader and a few others that he was still the handsome Wyll they all knew. It was still too overwhelming, and despite being assured in his choice, having no regrets, it was not something he liked or wanted to think about.

Which is how he found himself alone, with a goblet for company as cheers and laughter, and some singing, rang through the air at the party behind him. He couldn’t bring himself to join them, to walk into that space and bear witness to how conversations turn hushed, and laughter quietens at the sight of him. As the Tieflings, despite knowing it’s just him, feel instinctual fear, drilled into them from Avernus as they regard a devil. So, he doesn’t, choosing instead to spend a night meant for revery in the pits of self-reflection.

When Tav had joined him, he felt both a sense of relief and guilt. Relief that he was sought out, that someone cared, and guilt that his choices were pulling them from a celebration of their victory. As he listed all the reasons why he shouldn’t be seen, they listened patiently, offering soft counterpoints and comforting words where they were needed. He truly believed this night was as good as it could get when they asked if they could kiss him. Their words and facial features feigned confidence as their eyes betrayed fear and anticipation, the corner of their lips twitching in anxiety where they formed a small smile. And he meant to refuse, he should have refused, but he just couldn’t. Not when they looked at him with such sincerity and bashfulness that was beginning to turn into embarrassment and regret as his silence extended for longer than he meant it to. And so, he conceded, deciding that this couldn’t be considered selfishness on his par if they offered, as he leaned in to bestow one single kiss upon their mouth. And oh, what a good decision that was.

Their lips were soft and pillowy. Tav’s kiss was tender, uncertain, as if they didn’t really know what they were doing, but he attributed it to nerves and rustiness. When their fingertips carefully brushed the underside of his jaw, he forced himself to pull away, to put some kind of distance between the two of them, before he wouldn’t have been able to stop. Their giddy smile, heated cheeks and starry eyes made him almost regret that choice, but as they parted ways, both leaving the other some space for their thoughts, he knew there would be a better fitted time for them.

And as he laid down for the night, his dreams already drifting towards the person of his developing affection, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of dancer they were.

[fatummortem]

Meet the Mun

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

Erm.. Let's see... Just skip to a muse lol.

Rosie, a friend suggested her some twenty years ago for this elite comic book RP guild. She's the only one I kept from that time. I never heard of her before that & when I read her I remember saying 'she's such an angsty little shit. I love her.'. Her background is like casebook 'what happens if you have a poor support system' in a way.

Ryouta (daken/fang canonly), well he's that guilty pleasure villain everyone enjoys reading about for me I suppose. In another way I get curious about nurture vs nature. Which is something intertwined with his chara i think. (it's a dark past) What inspired me to write him, well he had a slow progression away from his villainess nature you could say. And I am a sucker for growth. It was his appearance's in All New Wolverine that made me go 'oh i'm going to write him'.

Somnus somehow turns stabby villains into teddy bears and i thought it was hilarious.

Bobby, well I wanted a silly gay polyamorous muse & I had been itching to write him for awhile but at the same time wanted to write with a Bobby more so held off. Gave in about a year back i think?

Malicia, well she's pretty AU of one of my favourite comic charas growing up. And well I'm a tad nervous writing her main verse so I just did something with a twist for fun.

TJ I've written a few times over the years. Normally when a friend has me going 'Hell yeah!'. One time I believe a friend was making a Blink (the bestie). This time around I started talking to a few friends about her & then got to talking with Armin about her relationship with her dad. A similar thing happened with Billy. I ended up bringing him back after talking with a friend who writes his twin Tommy. As for originally, I sadly do not recall.

Cloud, well as I said i'm a sucker for growth & his story is full of it. I also enjoy picking apart ways people display or write PTSD & show how it can be displayed in society or be a danger creatively. I also have PTSD, which can range on my reactions to things depending on my environment. So in a way it's one of the ways I learn about myself. Though his mental state has more of a twist to it as he has the lifestream & Jenova influences. Which can come across as confusing as it can seem similar to different forms of DID.

I also have a disability involving memory and memory issues brought on from trauma. So it kinda pulled me in more, I normally don't write muses that are popular to write or I lose the want to write them quickly. Which is not the case with Cloud, he's my rule or norm breaker. (might be why I'm not writing Tifa or Zack tho I'll be honest)

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

Erm *nibbles pen* flat out don't like? Random bits of rage filling arguments. Thought that's mostly when Anons do it. Mainly for the fact it doesn't go anywhere. I prefer my angst long lasting & with the ability to have a back & forth.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

There's a lot of things. Slow burns. Small bits of seriousness that leads to progression of a relationship (friendship or ship). Crack seriousness (threads where you have to squint to see the crack), Smut (picky with that), Angsty pain, healthy ships, snarky *jazz hands* ships, Silly friend/fam moments. etc...

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

^_^; So I have the habit, of writing detailed notes & accumulate data (websites, youtube videos, games/comics what have you). I normally write detailed dossiers but lately they turn into 10+ page essays so I've been slapping on wiki pages. Clouds is mostly how his mental state is, how it works & alters along with a lot of lore on locations and Materia to help myself & it's mostly jumbled quick notes with no flow. yeah i just went 'i'll put this over here for later'.

But I basically bury myself within a segment of lore to work it through my head a few times. Then I try to see if I can make it fit into how I feel I'd like to write the muse. Comics can be a bit tricky because there's no mainline writer or books get canceled, one writer makes what another put in place meaningless.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Both! it really depends on my mood, if i'm into the music if my muse wants to jam so on so forth...

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

Both! It depends. For close connections or like someone that might be someone mine knows I can ask peeps questions to get an idea of a same flow or idea going. Other times I'll wing it entirely while some i'll just give a brief info dump and ask if someone down for it. Then there's plotting while the thread is being written just to throw out ideas or okay things. There's also the excitement of eating popcorn just because I'm wondering if it'll turn tortuously cute or like a thriller in the next few goes depending on what's going on. xD

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

I love ships ^_^ especially when ya talk hcs or just build upon things slowly. I have a weakness for slow burns ^_^;

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

I'm Glow, lovely to meetcha. ^_^

ᴀɢᴇ?

My siblings went to see ET in the movie theatre when I was born.

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

June 18th.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

The shade black, any shade of purple tho normally lavander, any shade of blue, a few shades of red.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

It actually alters over time so it's hard to tell. Currently have 'let it snow' stuck in my head if that counts.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Uh, went with a friend to see Elementals awhile back

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Murder Drones or Hazbin Hotel? Kiddo is heavily into them right now & I try to get into her fandoms

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

the Alexa at work has the habit of throwing on death metal when I'm there so idek.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Mmmmm, Gumbo but not that northern watered down gumbo the Cajun one where you wheeze and shove bread in your mouth after a few spoonful's. ohhhh homemade Cheesecake with pralines crushed into the bottom layer & drizzled over the top. Mongolian grill with crab & steam mixed heavily with veggies & my own sauce cocktail. Red beans & rice but not the cheap ass sausage, ya need the good stuff or it tastes wrong. Slow cooked in a way where the-- ya shouldn't ask a cook about food.

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Rainy Summers

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

I doo~ Does it count if most of them aren't around anymore? I have a few here abouts too.

Tagged by: @lastflowerpetal

Tagging: I never know who's been tagged already, so if you wish to just tag me in it so I can take a gander. ^_^

[notolux]

My Autism “Aha” Moment (or why I started this blog)

A few weeks ago, I posted to my Instagram that I had been officially diagnosed with Autism. As a woman. At 22 years old. To say it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions is an understatement. When my family and I first began having this conversation I was pretty chill about it. For some reason it wasn’t surprising. That, however, didn’t stop the whirlwind of other anxieties and confusion to rise to the surface.

Me, being me, I started down the rabbit hole of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) research. My first appointment with a psychologist was months away, but I had to at least gain some understanding of what ASD really was. I started looking into how Autism presents in girls and looked back at my own childhood and realized I resonated with most of it, but not all. I learned that there’s not a whole lot of research on women and girls with autism, but boy are there a lot of female voices willing to speak up about their experiences anyway. I jumped into TedTalks, blogs, an ASD website created by autistic psychologists for other adults with autism (resources listed at the end of the post). These were some of the few articles I sent to my family to help them better understand my diagnosis.

When my appointment day finally arrived, I was excited, but extremely nervous. I wasn’t stupid, I’d heard the stories. Stories about women being shot down, not even considered for an appointment, psychologists refusing to diagnose girls altogether, or like one young girl — actually failing the typical test for Autism (because the test is designed for boys).

Despite all this, my two, three-hour-long, appointments went exceptionally well. My psychologist did a handful of tests to assess learning disabilities, cognitive functioning, and more, instead of just focusing on Autism. My testing was in the form of small “games,” wherein the psychologist would say a few numbers and I’d have to repeat them, then I’d had to do it backwards, then list the numbers in sequential order. There were matching games, games where you had to find patterns in shapes, memory games, and more. There were also a few online assessments and personality quizzes. Not to mention the booklet of forms my dad and I had to fill out. I had to bring (well first I had to find) my old report cards, elementary up to high school, and into college. My dad, with his awful memory, had to think back to when I was a baby and make sure I had hit developmental milestones, at what age, along with how I got along with my peers. I took a few days to get it all together, but eventually everything was filled out to the best of my ability.

The final report, after the assessments, gave an overview of everything we’d talked about and the tests I took. I scored average in almost everything except for spelling which was at a 92 percentile (I’m a writer so it goddamn better be above average), and I was diagnosed with Autism with the focus on the social aspects of the disorder. I have a hard time making friends, maintaining relationships, and have no idea what to do when someone’s upset — to put it simply: it feels like I’m missing out on some rulebook that everyone else seems to have access to.

When I was finally diagnosed, the amount of relief I felt was beyond measure. I could finally accept it as truth and stop worrying that because I didn’t fit all the criteria, I didn’t have Autism. Since then, I’ve fully embraced it. It is a part of who I am now and I’m so grateful for that.

But more so, it’s life-changing events like these that made me start this blog. [NOTOLUX] is about learning about who we are, finding the missing pieces, and putting them back together. For me, my diagnosis was one of these pieces. I’m learning to be as I am, instead of who I think I should be. I don’t have to wear a mask anymore because I understand that this is just the way I am, and there are some parts of ourselves that we can’t change, that can’t be altered to accommodate social norms, that shouldn’t have to be altered in the first place.

I encourage everyone who comes across this blog, and this post, to reflect, to act on the feelings that make you think something’s missing — because chances are it’s not all in your head, you know yourself better than anyone, trust your instincts. There are pieces of myself I’ve never understood until now because I didn’t have the language for it, the knowledge, or the diagnosis. There are still parts of myself I’m uncovering everyday and learning to accept and embrace. And I wish that you can do the same because no one deserves to feel left out, to feel lost, or broken, or wrong. Everyone should be able to be who they are without having to apologize for it. So, whether you’re a part of the LGBTQ+ community, or you don’t abide by binary gender roles, or you happen to be autistic like me, I want you to know it’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with you. Embrace yourself.

Some Helpful Resources:

Embrace Autism

Super Powers & Kryptonite’s

Autism in Adults

Autism in Women

TedTalk: Rosie King

Read the post on Medium.

P.S.

Journaling as been such a beneficial part of my life and I wanted to find a way to share these benefits with others. Benefits such as learning to understand my emotions, reflecting on my experiences and in turn understanding myself better, and organizing my life in a way that works for me. This manifested as my very own dotted/bullet journal collection. The latest collection is inspired by the Autistic community and utilizes a pastel-like colour palette so it’s soft on the eyes and a paper-over-board cover so you write on your lap any where, any time. Explore the collection here or you can buy it now.

[pastramimommy]

Pre-long distance convo 7/30/23 5:30 pm

I've been reflecting/spiraling about our conversation in KC and the general future of our relationship for the last week, and have sought out advice from friends, family, and strangers in our situation.

My comments about using our time wisely and efficiently, are just outright uncalled for and I just need to leave it be at this point. You know that this is one of the biggest ways to show me love and I really don't need to remind you. I've never really given you the opportunity to show me this in action so I will try to go with the flow more, trusting that you are doing everything in your power to stay on top of your plans and scheduling.

Upon reflecting on that specific situation at the bars, I still believe I have the right to express my feelings about what I called you out for, I just need to present it to you more effectively. I should have waited till we were not in front of your sister/friends and I should have said it more calmly and with less fiery language. Like I said earlier, I wasn't mad about those situations, I just said everything on my mind exactly as the thoughts were forming, which is not ideal, but I still want you to hear that you could do something differently. And the intention is not to make you feel inadequate, but like how we approach sex, there is always room for improvement. I know I cannot say something to you about every little thing that bothers me, and picking which battles are worthwhile is something that I will have to practice. If there is a way that you think we could better address these situations please tell me.

From my conversations with my mom and from podcasts I've been listening to, I realized that most of the stress about our relationship I've imposed on myself from thinking to far into the future too much. All of my fears stem from the thought of losing my autonomy to make certain decisions in my life because it will be dictated by your career, and if things were not to work out, the entire trajectory of my life will have been altered but nothing in your life will be changed at all. I am not telling you this to make you feel stressed or bad for me, I just want you to understand where I am coming from. None of these are reflection of how you make me feel, they are a reflection of how the situation makes me feel. I know your fear is that I will resent you for all the sacrifices that I have to make, but genuinely I am happy to move because I want to be with you. I cannot resent you if you allow me to make decisions with you and respect my non-negotiables when your situation allows. Like the conversation about living together, I hear your side and I will work with you, but please show me that commitment and sacrifice when you can. While these things will still be real and valid for me to think about, I now know it just isn't healthy for me to dwell on them. I cannot worry about what will happen in 3 years when I have things that I can be doing to benefit us today.

In terms of effort and needs being met, I have also come to terms with the fact that our requirements are going to change over the years (and maybe even months) because we will be in different situations every year (long distance vs living near each other vs living together; M1/M2 vs M3/M4 vs residency). I understand that the current situation requires you to lean on me a little more and I accept that and am excited to do so. I really do have to be okay with you coping with your stress however you do so and genuinely putting myself on the back burner. This will be an era of our relationship that will be 60/40 but that is normal in relationships. All that I ask is that you can be the 60 in times when I need you ex) when I move to KC and starting a new job, starting school, etc) Part of the work I need to do is discern which stressors I can bring to you vs others. I don't want to feel like I can't share my stressors with you because you are too busy for them, so finding that balance will be my challenge. One of the pieces of advice I got was to not sweat the small things, which is so simple but makes sense, we have such little time together so it is not worth wasting it talking about silly qualms.

I know my greatest challenge will be making sure that I respect my boundaries. Me knowing the difference between me being 60/40 for a season of our lives vs me being 75/25 consistently and telling myself that it's okay bc "he's just busy" is something that I am genuinely nervous about. This is my fear about "trying your best" because even though I know that it is truly the most that you can give, it is subjective and gives you the space to theoretically do whatever you want as long as you say it's your best. Not saying this is what you will do by any means, but it does make it easier for me to let things slide if that makes sense. As long as at every life dinner, you can look at me and genuinely tell me that you tried your best every month, I will be satisfied. This is painful to say, but both of us have to be okay with walking away if we know that we are consistently not giving/receiving what we deserve.

My expectations and requests are as follows:

-Text me when you wake up and when you go to sleep (esp when you go out). Don't feel pressured to text me back during the day, esp if we are having a conversation with multiple text streams. I'd rather have you wait a little longer to respond so you can give me a quality response.

-Express that you love me in some way through text since that will be the primary form of communication

-No requirement on facetime frequency is needed. I'd rather just request to FT as needed and schedule it. I will call you at random points in the day if I have a moment, but I totally understand if you can't answer. You can do the same if you want.

-For scheduling/making plans, I'll try to present the plan to you with the possible dates and a deadline for you to let me know if required by the situation. I will not nag you until the deadline is reached.

[badmusejail]

"Maybe one day I'll..."

Gaster didn't feel the need to finish the statement, instead letting out a long exhale, staring off at the trees, even if he didn't really take in the sight.

"It's nice of you to offer such assistance. Try not to overwork yourself, though."

Only mildly hypocritical.

His mind was never quiet; his SOUL perpetually taking in countless sights and sounds from countless realities, but nonetheless, having the serenity around his physical manifestation was nice.

Maybe he could even doze off for a while...

"The CORE?" he clarified, blinking and bringing his attention back to the situation at hand. He straightened with a bit of pride; the only reason his ego didn't take over entirely was the fact that his brilliance had lead directly to his downfall remained a sore point.

"Well. It is as you said; we had very limited resources so I was forced to think about what we did have.

"So I turned my attention to SOULs; the relationship between our SOUL and how we manifest magic and bullets, and how our SOUL essentially acts as a battery or power for our everyday life; whether that be simple acts such as breaking down food during digestion or expressly using magic to manipulate or interact with the world."

Gaster, now fully absorbed into his ramble, withdrew his arms from his sleeves and began to gesture, gaze mostly fixated on the sky.

"The perpetual recycling of this energy is a fundamental constant of our world--we consume magic, break it down into our SOUL, and naturally shed it throughout our life.

"The CORE then came as a mere extension of this idea--the means of giving life to magic without the need of a SOUL, an artificial battery, essentially.

"The final implementation doesn't quite adhere to that idea, but does play into the natural cycle of energy -- essentially, magic comes in a basic, most fundamental piece, which combines and builds with other particles to create the complicated and vast variety of effects that monsters can do. But after the energy is spent, the magic remains in this altered, combined form--for example, a great majority of the snow in Snowdin is magic taking the form of snow and ice--and a great deal of energy remains in keeping these constructs together."

Now, Gaster partially closed his hands, as if each one was holding a relatively large, spherical object, and pushed them closer together.

"So the CORE comes into play by taking these constructs and pulling them back apart, releasing them back into the natural state and harnessing the energy within."

Gaster made a vague 'firework' motion with his hands.

...Before folding them back onto his lap, only mildly embarrassed by his tangent.

River eyed Gaster as they continued floating along, away from where there were more prying eyes and over to the nice copse of trees they had been thinking of. Sometimes, the solitude was nice.

And their current companion looked like he desperately needed the quiet. This, too, River understood.

They decided to roll with the chosen topic, letting it move on from their own Sight. "I have a nice houseboat here on the surface, but I have not abandoned my one in Waterfall either. Occasionally monsters who have stayed below will still need to get where they need to be, and now my boat also offers travel up and down the mountain. I keep rather busy these days, when I am not taking a day off."

As they were today. They didn't do so as often when they were trapped but there were so many new and interesting things to see up here.

So many new people. Places. Things to do and see and hear and read.

It was quite lovely.

It reminded them to thank the young human who had introduced them to the concept of 'Spotify'.

"Whatever gave you the idea?" they inquired, returning their thoughts to the CORE. "It is brilliant. I do not have the knowledge for such technical innovations," indeed, they'd been called whatever a 'boomer' was by a gaggle of human children before when they'd needed someone to explain how their cell phone worked again, "but I can recognize brilliance when I see it. Especially with the limited resources we were working with. I understand special materials are required for these things."

Yes, they'd had one of the phones designed by Alphys when Underground. No, they didn't know how to use that one properly either.

[crystaldivination]

𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗞 𝗔 𝗠𝗨𝗚

𝗔𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗹 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗶 𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀

Hello there beautiful souls! With this cute little pick a card reading let’s us see what this month has in store for you and what you can do to make the best out of it, shall we?

✤ masterlist • paid services • spoil me! ♡

Check out my latest pick a card reading here

how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths & look at each pile separately. Take your time to pick out a pile that sparks an interest or a memory in you. Come back later to it again if you can't decide.

The piles

from left -> right

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

𝗣𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝟭

New opportunities and visions

You might meet someone of interest who might or might not become someone significant to you nevertheless they will be influential in your daily life in some way. This person would be someone who comes into your life in order to help you build structure or a routine. They will help you to reorganize your goals and look at them from a different point of view. They seem to be someone mature who can guide you along your way and who you can learn from and vice versa. This connection could develop into a great friendship or even into a romantic relationship depending on what you want to attract. Try to approach life in a different way. New change is ahead. Things won’t be the way you’re used to but it’ll be positive just like a fresh breeze of air. Be open to receive and get help from others. It’ll give you the strength and motivation to embark into a new process. You’ll slowly see this as the month passes by. Stay curious and have a lot of fun, pile 1!

𝗣𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝟮

Reflect

You’ll have more time for yourself this month, pile 2. This time can be used to go within and practice self help. Self care is very important now and needed so if you feel like the past months have been rough and didn’t do you well it’s the time to lean back and focus on your well-being . Find alignment with yourself again. Look back at what you have achieved until now and give yourself some credits. You deserve them. Meditate from time to time or journal if you like it. This will help you ground yourself and practice gratitude even for yourself. While doing so also really think about anything you want to improve or change and come up with a plan to carry these things out. A great time to rearranged priorities such as connections, relationships, work and life. Really think about what you want to do and set your intentions well. Deep cleansing in a lot of areas is indicated here. Gone with the old one and welcome new positive attitudes, pile 2!

𝗣𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝟯

Growth

You’ll be busy this month, pile 3, but in a good sense. You’ll be occupied by many projects which could help you build new stable connections and bring you growth as well as learning. You might get to work on the things you really like. It’s the time to get work done and enjoy the fruits from the hard work and all the achievements you might’ve gather from the past two years until now. It’ll be a great time with full of new experiences and excitements. It’s your time to shine and show off your skills so use it wisely and plentifully. Some of you might even get to be in some sort of high/er positions that’d come with making decisions and force you to have or take responsibilities but overall this will be something you’ll get a lot out from so enjoy the ride to your goals. I see a lot of positive energy filled with success and recognition. Lucky you! Go get it, pile 3!

© 2023 crystaldivination ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, edit, alter, or redistribute my work. Plagiarism in any form is prohibited.

𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀! 𝖨 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗍’𝗌 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗉𝖿𝗎𝗅 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎. L𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗈𝗐𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 💓