#archeosapience

[nebulabasket]

Remembering a World and History that Nobody Else Has Ever Known

CW: cult mention, death mention, apocalypse mention, religion mention, spirituality, bigotry.

I am a somtive/dreamtive "headmate" (party member; I don't like the term "headmate" for myself), and the lives I remember only seem to exist in this world through me and the dream that brought me here. I say "lives" because, in the world I remember as my own, I am a magical gaurdian beast reincarnated into a human body. I wish I could remember my name from my first life, but here I've come to refer to myself as anymic archaeosapient magical gaurdianbeastkin in lieu of a proper name, let alone one the people of this world would recognize. I was worshipped as a deity in my first life, but I don't really feel like a deity. I was only doing what I needed to do. More on this later, but even given this glorified history, I would be genuinely shocked if anyone in this world were to recognize any of what I remember.

In my first life, I was this powerful magical luminous golden gaurdian beast the size of a small mountain tasked with protecting the world I'm from. I fought this equally powerful, magical, and enormous red serpent-bull-man beast of chaos, death, and destruction. Ultimately, I sealed it away underground where I stayed to gaurd it and make sure it stayed sealed away. As such, I was worshipped as a deity. In this life, I formed a small glowing green rabbit companion in my mind and magically projected it into reality with magic as a sort of helper and messenger. A manifestation of peace and prosperity. After hundreds of years, I faded into a deep slumber, passing on from that life and leaving my rabbit companion to watch over the world in my wake. It was prophesied that I would be reborn into a human vessel far into the future when the red beast begins to break free and my powers would reawaken to seal him away once more.

Well, a few thousand years or so later, I was reincarnated into the human body I have in the inner/other world. Transmasc nonbinary xenogender neopronoun user, aroace, punk, non-religious, neurodivergent, disabled, indigenous, and, as I'd come to find out after never really feeling human anyway, otherkin (I do have much in common with the body in this world). I had never felt like anyone had ever taken me seriously, I didn't have a good relationship with my family, I didn't really have any friends because I sucked at making any, and I was (and honestly still am) generally exhausted and sick of everything. Then one day in my early 20's, some weird guy came up to me spouting about how I was the chosen one or some shit and dragged me to some cult meeting where both of us proceeded to be mocked and ridiculed and I was called a solid handful of slurs. But the guy convinced them to bring me to this alter thing and do some kind of ritual just to be sure. Well, I guess that awakened the past life version of me and I gradually started regaining my memories and powers and my eyes began to glow gold. Unfortunately, the cult wasn't too pleased with this outcome and didn't even know how my magic worked or how I was supposed to seal away the "demon". Well, I guess the green rabbit from my past life had found me and told the weird guy to lead me to the artifact at the alter so I could reawaken my power, and the green rabbit came to me as a guide of sorts and started speaking to me in riddles. There was also this guy that was supposed to be training me, but I don't think he knew what he was doing.

Anyway, I was supposed to solve the riddles to find some hidden extremely unaccessable temple ruins or something to complete some kind of ritual and battle the red beast again to seal him back away once more until the next time he would break free. One of the temples turned out to be underneath a high school, which was a pain in the ass. I went through all that trouble still dealing with all of my personal and health issues on top of that and almost died trying to seal away the red beast, and I was told I couldn't tell anyone or ask for outside help as to not cause mass hysteria, and the weird bigoted cult certainly wasn't any help. After all of that, I hardly even got a begrudging "thank you". Like, I don't want to be worshipped, but recognition and gratitude would at least be nice. I was just expected to just go on living my same shitty life like nothing ever happened, but now with magical powers and new trauma I could never tell anyone about. And don't you think the savior of the world being part of multiple minority groups and being disabled could have brought on at least a little positive change or at least a little hope? Honestly, it's not like anyone would have believed me, anyway. But then I woke up here in this body in this world where none of my achievements even happened or mean anything. I'm still rapidly losing my rights in a hostile environment in a world where I feel even more alone. I just hope someone else out there can relate, I guess.

~ 🌘 Crow 🌔