#which by itself is whatever
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#not gonna make a real post but i gotta vent a little#there was that one poll abt which DA man has the most annoying fans#which i did not vote in bc as someone who values my own sanity i don't hang out in tags of characters that get on my nerves#but i'm just dumb enough to have looked in the notes and apparently solas was sweeping i guess#which by itself is whatever#but then the tags were just dozens of ppl complaining that solas fans were annoying bc they *checks notes*#post about solas a lot???#and 'flood the lavellan tag'? you know...the only character you can romance him with w/o a mod???#and they hate that we're 'acting like DA4 is going to only be abt him'...you know. the game originally called 'dreadwolf'#idk my guys i get that if someone jumps on your post and makes it abt a character u hate that's annoying#but it sure sounds like ur just bitching abt ppl having fun in their own fandom space#this sounds very much like a YOU issue#like i remember someone literally made a post like 'UGH why do Solavellans even like him?!' that ended up on my dash#and I answered in good faith not feeling like i was being mean or aggressive#and i promptly got yelled at for 'not staying in my lane'#my brother in Christ YOU asked MY part of the fandom a question#Not saying there aren't Solas fans w/ Rancid Takes but i swear half the complaints i see are people just mad that we're having a good time#curate your own online experience guys it's not that hard#i waited 10 years for closure with this dumpster fire man#and no one is going to spoil my fun about it#block me to the moon and back idc
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those first couple weeks after escaping a time loop have gotta be disorienting as all fuck. all those little cues that used to tell you what's about to happen are now triggers that cause you to brace for something that isn't coming. you have to relearn the permanence of death -- hell, you have reacquaint yourself with the entire concept of finality altogether. everything keeps changing but it never changes back and you keep having to remind yourself that this is normal. "it won't reset anymore," you echo to yourself, over and over and over, like a broken record, like you're still trapped in a loop, like someone who escaped the time loop but was doomed to bring it into the future with them
#orcspeak#edit: this is not about fanfic nor is it about a specific fanfic nor is it about a specific show or movie or book#this post is about the time loop trope itself which occurs in many different stories spanning many different art forms#i don't read or write fanfic and I'm not looking for fanfic recs and whatever character you think this is about there's#an 80 percent chance i don't recognize their name
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*clasps your shoulders gently and looks you straight in the eye*
Keferon. Please read Ninth by Kyn on AO3. I think you would love it very much. It has a large chapter count, but don't be intimidated, it's very easy to get into. It is currently unfinished, but is being updated regularly.
You are the seventh person that recommended this fic to me so ahahahaha yeah
I’m doing great Help I hate some parts of it but I love the other parts I’m spinning in the blender
…..I made the moodboard….
#chapter 37#of 120 or something#I must be like 90k words in haha#large word count is not an intimidation. It’s an invitation haha#I love the fics that I can’t read in just one hour:)#I gotta say I don’t enjoy the concept of making robots into organic life#it’s just my preference#seeing them as humans or animals or whatever feels so fucking wrong#the concept itself drives me off#like. Strongly#But at the same time. This fic isn’t about them being ‘haha cute organics’#it’s ‘oh god. I was turned into something I’m not’#instead of teeheee they’re fluffy#it’s please free me from this fucking nightmare. please let me be myself again.#idk how to explain. I resonate I guess#it often feels very disturbing but the characters are also disturbed#So now I’m kind of stuck reading this fic because I just can’t stop lol#just politely skipping the parts that make me too uncomfortable#also#the body horror is….damn. Impressive. I didn’t expect to read about grotesque fleshy creature turning itself inside out#it’s not even aesthetic or symbolic#it literally looks like a fucking nightmare. Which is impressive also.#the flesh is g r o s s#the beginning got me struggling and skipping#but the intermission is currently ruining my sleep schedule#oh fuck….I usually send my posts to the authors of the fics I read…..but I feel like I might offend the author of Ninth if do this……..#there’s a tiny chance they’re following me….if it’s true then I wanna tell I’m sorry pls don’t take this seriously#your fic got me waay out of my comfort zone#huge points for writing Ratchet. Drift in this fic is…the grossest fucking thing I could probably imagine but Ratchet doesn’t even hesitate#he helps him and he cares for him. Which is…..imma be real my first instinct would be to set Drift on fire to end his misery
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PAGLUIB
way back in like. march?? I took a stab at writing some kind of kabitserye type of story but it was a mess: it kept veering off into murder mystery drama territory because I was reading a lot of murder mystery novels around then and it Wasn't Good because I hadn't tried writing mysteries, let alone murder mysteries, before lmao
I did write a handful of short mystery stories since then, so next year I might take a stab at this idea again now that I'm no longer jumping head first into a genre pool I don't know how to swim in :)
#now for the part where i have to fight off the impulse to write in some b movie horror elements because ive been thinking about#reanimator a lot lately. ehghghh. thank god for the editing process. to wrangle my thoughts into a linear state of creating#anyway i read an article. interview? on the popularity of infidelity dramas in the philippines and it was poetry to me#and i also enjoy the really intense social melodrama in lino brocka's films. specifically the appearance of morality to cover up/justify#ugly behavior. or like. man i'm tired. whatever was going on in murder by tsismis. that's the thing. someday i'll get more into it#and post excerpts from the actual analysis of the film that actually explains the dynamic im talking around here#komiks tag#original tag#also there's some. vague lingering thought about ikaw lamang in here. not in a way that matters#but in a 'the first episode that i saw was not the first episode of the drama itself and it made me go. oh everyone has rotten vibes'#which is not. well. if you saw ikaw lamang then you know the characters. this is not the takeaway from the show. HOWEVER#i did invent a whole different show in my head between that and when the next episode aired. so.#fake ikaw lamang. ikaw lamang if it wasn't even remotely like ikaw lamang. on the topic of ikaw lamang here's a cringe story for you#still following along. BEFORE i had watched the show. i saw a notebook with franco on it but i didn't recognize the character#i just saw jake in a suit and went oh! cool! i will now Buy This!#anyway i still have the notebook lmao
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i find it so so interesting the things that you can learn about a parent/caregiver just by knowing their kid...
when siffrin doesn't flinch away from bonnie's touch, bonnie says "good kid, good kid. you didn't even jump that time! good job, you did such a good job.” now we know what kind of langauge nille uses to praise bonnie!
bonnie doesn't actually argue all that much about not being allowed to fight - they make their opinion known, but then focus on being a good snack leader. i think they are used to having their point of view taken into consideration! a kid who doesn't dare complain at all might have very strict and stubborn caregivers, while a kid who throws a fit might have caregivers who pay more attention to emotions than logic, or care less about their child's feelings and more about how those feelings affect them. but bonnie trusts that the adults around them will listen to them, and then make a reasonable decision, even if it's not the one they wanted.
bonnie's fairly level-headed in general, actually. they get really upset sometimes, obviously, but it's about things that are really upsetting? otherwise.. if they're not confronted about the death convo, they're able to set it aside and focus on cheering everyone up with snacks. even though they're mad at siffrin, they have some chill convos with him. pretty good emotional regulation skills all things considered! they're often able to choose to be calm and cheerful, but they feel safe expressing sadness and anger, too, so they're not just sitting there repressing everything either!
i just get really emo about what a good job nille must have done raising them 😭
#esp considering the two of them likely ran away when bonnie was a toddler or preschooler#which are the years of basic social-emotional skill-building#she would've had to work so hard to overcome whatever shit baby bonnie learned from their parents#not to mention the running away itself is traumatic#what a hard situation to be in#and she did it!! she raised bonnie into a well-adjusted pre-teen!#obviously bonnie is going through some shit right now#but the fact that they're doing so well anyway??#they have a SOLID foundation#they grew up being listened to and helped and taught#☺️#isat#bonnie#nille#thoughts about bonnie#thoughts about nille#thoughts#silver's greatest hits
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not bungie deleting the bi mara and lesbian eramis pics ...........
#destiny 2#mara sov#eramis#REALISTICALLY I KNOW THIS IS BECAUSE PETE FIRED EVERYONE!!! but these were also the only “word of god” indications we had about#mara's and eramis' sexualities (both are obv queer canonically but there's nothing suggesting lesbian vs bi vs pan etc.)#which is why these things should be written into the game itself!!! and not left for blog posts or twitter asides or whatever!!#tho large segments of destiny 2 are lost media in the sense of no longer being accessible (base game. forsaken. all the seasonal content)#so that's no reassurance either lol#gif#<- for blocking purposes
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artemis and holly core
#truly the duo of all time😟#their friendship DRIVES ME INSANE SO BAD like omg they really were irrevocably fucked up after artemis’s betrayal in time paradox#yet artemis still chooses to die for her in last guardian#which is ANOTHER betrayal in of itself#born to be platonic soulmates forced to be whatever the fuck they ended up being#artemis fowl#holly short#af
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ok but imagine being Yaz and you fall in love with the Doctor but it doesn’t work out bc the Doctor cant stay anywhere for too long and also won’t talk about her feelings to save her life
and then the next regeneration of that person settles down to live with another family for years, in the same city as you, less than a day after you said goodbye forever
and then the NEXT regeneration after that talks about his feelings CONSTANTLY. Gives all the info on Gallifrey and their parents and the time lords and all of it DAY ONE.
I would go insane
#doctor who#Yasmin Khan#thirteenth doctor#fourteenth doctor#fifteenth doctor#i am aware that there are so many out of universe reasons#That things happened the way they did#And the writers were not thinking of Yaz when doing all this#(Which is annoying in and of itself but whatever)#And I know that the lord dump was for new viewer reasons#And also does feel like a natural progression for the character#But still#my girl deserves so much better
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I think everyone’s subscribing to the “Helena Infiltration Theory” WAYY too quickly. I kinda feel like a lot of the oddities in the way she was acting could be chalked up to something else, and defaulting to “that’s not Helly” feels a lot like… I don’t know, like brushing off character flaws by saying, “No, [X] is possessed! That’s not actually them!”
I’d probably buy into it a bit more if she didn’t have that moment in the halls with Mark where she fervently said, “We’re not the same, actually. Us and the outies, we’re not.”
There are reasons why Helly would want to lie about her identity, and chief among them is the fact that she hates her outie—desperately wants to place distance between them, desperately wants to convince herself that the person she saw wasn’t her.
But there are compelling reasons for both angles, and I can’t say that I won’t be scanning future episodes for hints to either prove or disprove this, so… cheers, 🥂.
#my post#i’m mostly just worried people will use this as some sort of ‘‘gotcha!!!’’ and go the whole season believing it#and then being like. ‘‘what she’s really Not helena?’’ if it doesn’t turn out they’re right#but maybe they are! idk i kinda mostly feel uncomfortable with the idea that it’s Not the helly we know and love;#that the other innies are separated from her#ugh i hate that i can’t find the right way to word my thoughts on this; i feel like the ‘‘analysis’’ i wrote in the post is lacking#but whatever. on a different note: i think i’m not gonna look at theories online/on tumblr while this is happening#because if there is genuinely a theory that predicts something from the show. i’d still rather have seen it in the episode itself#and be surprised that way#WHICH IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT. IT’S GONNA BE HARD AS HELL TO STAY AWAY.#but i digress#severance#severance spoilers#severance season 2 spoilers#honestly the most odd moment for me with helly was when she was like ‘‘wait what?’’ at the news about ricken hale#because i just don’t think she’d give a fuck 💀 she didn’t even see the book initially; i don’t think she’d Know the importance of#what it meant to mark or dylan. least of all remember the name#but that might just be nitpicking#anyways that’s all i can coherently put into words rn. fare thee well
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Y'all know those fanfics where Saiki is an asshole to Teruhashi or really rude to her until they start dating? Yeah, this is what I imagine what that Saiki meeting Canon Saiki would be like.
Canon Saiki: So do you still deal with Teruhashi?
Fanfic Saiki: I can not avoid that woman. The other day she was bothering me when a mob of her fans showed up so I teleported away and-
Canon Saiki, surprised: You revealed your powers to her?! I mean, her fans do suck, so I can understand panicking and teleporting the both of you away-
Fanfic Saiki: What? No, I teleported myself away and left her there.
Canon Saiki: You what.
Fanfic Saiki: I teleported myself away. Well actually, I was the one who kinda summoned that crowd so that she'd be too overwhelmed with them to go find me-
Canon Saiki, shaking with murderous rage: You what.
#kokomi teruhashi#fanon saiki#terusai#saiteru#saiki kusuo#saiki no psi nan#kusuo saiki#saiki k#the disastrous life of saiki k#tdlosk#saiki kusou no psi nan#Not hate to any fic creators#It's just that I've read several where Saiki is like this#Including one where he fucked with her tarot fortune (which he knew she cared a lot about) to fuck with her head#And while that's a great fic concept and the fic itself was very well written#The concept sent me into a blind rage where I woke up ten hours later in Utah at an Amish farm.#I want to make it clear#This isn't explictly romantic#This can be platonic Terusai#Romantic Terusai#Whatever#But he does love her#And she loves him#It doesn't matter what way#It doesn't matter if they love each other in the same way they love their other friends#Or if it's in a different way#The love is there#And that's all that matters
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Underrated reason why Lyanna as the KotLT just works is because it follows a pattern of deconstruction re the concept of knightly chivalry and honor, from Lyanna herself to her son 15yrs+ later. Lyanna as the KotLT is a gender-swapped version of the ‘knight rescues a helpless maiden from raucous bullies’ trope, but grrm of course puts his spin on it because one Lyanna is not even a knight to begin with and two, she’s a girl. Then knight!Lyanna fights the bullies which is again an adaptation of another trope: the ‘mysterious knight-errant enters the joust and wins then dips’, which is interesting because these types of knights sometimes fall into the black knight trope. And the black knight is, more often than not, not the hero. But the main reason why this is so interesting is Jon. Lyanna “cosplays” a black knight, but her son Jon later becomes an actual black knight. Jon then repeats his mother’s actions by defending Sam in AGoT, which is another subversion of the aforementioned ‘knight rescues a helpless maiden trope’ because the helpless maiden in this case is a helpless…lad…Though Jon and Lyanna acting as agents outside the bounds of knighthood (Lyanna being a northern woman and Jon being a member of the NW) puts them more in line with the traditional black knight (who is usually an anti-hero/villain), the actual essence of their actions puts them closer to the more valiant and honorable white knight according to tradition.
#asoiaf#in my arthuriana feels today 😃#was gonna add that this trope repeats itself with jaime-brienne which I guess is the more traditional romantic version??#and brienne looking for sansa as a subversion of the trope#does that count?#anyway this knight errant trope continues when rhaegar-the valiant prince/evil dragon-kidnaps/rescues the maiden#so another performance of romance and chivalry#and that example ALSO leads to jon lmao because it becomes the ultimate manifestation#of the valiant knight/prince/hero trope which is also a deconstruction because jon doesn’t look like it outwardly#or whatever idk hope that makes sense#jon snow#lyanna stark#valyrianscrolls#my stuff
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really glad this show’s writers understand how to use severance as a concept to its fullest extent (discovering new frontiers in cheating)
#severance#severance spoilers#gretchen cheating on her husband with her husband#the version of burt that’s supposed to go to heaven to be with fields (already ???????? by itself btw) having an affair.#and then the version of burt that actually married fields hitting on another version of the guy he had an affair with.#after dinner with his husband#and of course whatever the fuck is happening with helly and helena and mark s and mark scout and gemma and miss casey#which i could not possibly describe
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what people dont understand is that the way arin is special is bc he's. just a guy. just a kid who's a ninja fan, that somehow managed to learn spinjitzu entirely by himself. no official training, no nothing bro, just watching his idols do their things and he just. copies them. and he somehow succeeded. he doesn't need any powers, he doesn't need to be a reincarnation of the fsm, he's special just like that
#this is just my opinion ofc you absolutely do not need to agree#but in my pov I dont really enjoy the idea of him having powers#like him learning spinjitzu which is something sacred entirely by himself is enough if they want him to be special#my guy had no master#like look at him go just using his spinjitzu!! It by itself is already his powers#did u not see him spinjitzu that plate in pt2#and whatever that thing was in ep3#he's already special#and is having so much fun#ninjago#ninjago arin#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising spoilers#levi's ted talks
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everything Dan said about labels in BIG was so extremely real and personal to me and people really gloss over a lot of it sometimes I need to talk about it more about it when I'm not exhausted
#he spent years trying to fit into one box or another and then he finally said ah fuck this lmfao#ppl really ignore the “basically” part of basically im gay and it's like you'll get crucified if you point out the nuance#which he himself has talked about so many times#idk why celebrating someone's gayness for what it is in its own esoteric way in their own words is some kind of erasure#i guess because of the issue of ppl calling him bi because they're stupid and don't know how labels work lmao#but that aside i love that he rly is just dan and he's comfortable with that#because it's so hard not fitting into a certain ideal#the part where he said he recognises labels are really important for a lot of people and that's very valid#but he just doesn't give a fuck lmfao like....... i felt that#i felt like him saying “being a man means nothing to me” and then talking about “you could call me she or put me in a dress i wouldn't gaf”#and then calling himself a formless blob or whatever#he literally is just dan whatever that means whatever labels most closely approximate that and there rly is something so powerful#in just not giving a fuck especially on the internet where everyone is so hyper obsessed with labeling everything#and like thinking it's weird for someone to just not really care that much about labels#i feel like so many people misunderstand what he was trying to say in that part idk#like based on the amount of dangender haters#he really just does not give a fuck i fear being a man means nothing to him even if he is one like he just doesn't care#and that's so powerful <3 to me#who up not fitting into a box and feeling lost and untethered because every label you could possibly use makes you feel uncomfortable#on some level#because even trying to be unlabeled is a label in and of itself#i need Dan's therapist's number i think they could fix me#he is just not a labels guy and i love him for that i think it's very powerful and valid when people find joy and solace in labels#but it's also powerful to me when people just don't care for labels at all hadfghgfjkllsfjl#and i think that gets overlooked a lot on the anti nuance website#i love seeing posts celebrating him for being gay gay homosexual gay but i also love seeing posts celebrating him for being a formless blob#he can contain multitudes#and we can celebrate all of that per his own words#without necessarily erasing part of him#i said i wasn't gonna talk about this and then reached the tag limit lmfao i have a PROBLEMMMMM
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to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)
#ray's tag#keys' art#undescribed#skeletons#ok to reblog#the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr!#so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear#(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing#that i've ever drawn)#anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav#it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it#that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it.#often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to#especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently#it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow#my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints#but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us)#i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts.#so i put it into a spotlight.#ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients#I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i#a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie#especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones#we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone#or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare#so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone#will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay#we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it#(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont#actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)
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This isn't connected to anything, but I thought of a random scene in the Everybody Loves Vox AU while I was relaxing this morning.
And I've decided that Alastor only criticizes and mocks things about Vox that he knows Vox will argue with him about, because he enjoys teasing and fighting.
But he's also super careful about not saying any preferences towards things about Vox that he could easily change, because he knows Vox's first instinct is to want to be liked and so he'd change whatever it is for Alastor’s (or anyone's, really) approval - but Alastor DOESN'T want Vox to do that, because that's boring. If he wanted someone to do whatever he says he'd ask one of his thralls - he likes that Vox does and likes and wears things he doesn't like or wouldn't do himself, because the differences are fun and entertaining and interesting.
And Vox only finds this out one day by complete accident because Alastor happens to find him relaxing after a shower (on a bed or a couch, just a surface they could lay down and cuddle on) and immediately decides to join him to cuddle. Like, laying entirely on him, shoving his head in his neck, the whole nine yards.
Vox is visibly confused because he KNOWS Alastor doesn't like to cuddle and is very particular about physical touch. (It's the one thing he's had to get used to since they've started "not dating." Part of the reason he stayed with Val for so long was because he enjoys physical contact with his partner, but he's adapted to Alastor’s lack of desire for it to the best of his ability.)
So Vox tries to tactfully ask what the hell is going on, because while he's really enjoying the cuddle he's Extremely Confused and would like an ounce of clarification.
And it turns out that Alastor hates his cologne and that THAT'S why he refuses to touch or cuddle him, to prevent the scent from getting on himself. (It's too strong, too much, it gives him a headache with his more sensitive sense of smell, etc etc).
Vox is like, "Were you ever going to TELL ME that?! What the hell, Alastor?! I don't have to fucking wear it if it bothers you that much!"
Alastor, grumbling, with his face still shoved in Vox’s chest, "No, I was not, because any time someone says anything, you immediately mold yourself into whatever that is, so I would appreciate you forgetting this conversation ever happened."
Vox, with one arm holding Alastor and his other hand pinching the spot between his eyes, "Absolutely the fuck not! Alastor. If I had to choose between over-priced colonge and you fucking TOUCHING ME, I'm fucking choosing you? What the hell, this is insane, I cannot believe we could've been cuddling this entire time. I'm fighting you when we're done because of this."
Vox absolutely ditches the colonge the first chance he gets, despite Alastor's protests.
I like to think that eventually Vox gets comfortable enough to NOT do his initial instinct of immediately changing himself towards Alastor's preferences, once he now knows that Alastor won't say anything - even if it's something he'd be happy to change - to keep him from doing exactly that.
(Also, I think Val tended to do the opposite, where he'd often criticize Vox until he does whatever he wants, so it's hard for him initially to not do the same for Alastor, and to realize that Alastor's mode of affection is softly bullying him but that Alastor dislikes it when he tries to change himself to appease).
It takes some trial and error until they find common ground between "changing anything your partner doesn't like" and "never saying anything you dislike to your partner." Neither of them are good at relationships, so it takes a bit.
(I just couldn't get the idea of Alastor refusing to get too close to Vox because his scent bothers him - and then the second he finds Vox without it he practically tries to bury under his skin to catch up on all the affection (and enjoying his natural scent) he can before Vox puts that scent back on. And never thinking, hey, maybe I should say something about that because he doesn't understand the difference between that and controlling Vox's personality.)
#long post#i reject the Alastor is touch averse headcanon tbh I just think he doesn't like to be touched by people he doesn't know or like#bc im the same if we're not friends or you don't have a valid reason don't touch me#but like i dont notice or care and enjoy contact with people i like#(or if there's a valid reason like at my current job? not many reasons. but when i worked at a fast food place? there's no space so. reason)#im just saying he had no issues being tossed around by rosie#i just think he prefers to control the contact with those he's not comfortable with but has no issues with those he is comfortable with#(also i am also sensitive to smell so ive decided Alastor is too. projection is fun ����)#i also think Vox is a very “crowd pleaser” personality which doesnt lend itself well to being true to his own wants and desires#and that Val absolutely used that to his advantage to get whatever he wanted from Vox#everybody loves vox au
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