#which I can do on the flight home
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i hate their last names now lol
#Mitchell this Kazansky that#back in august i was like oh last names only to show that they’re not as close to each other as they could be until the very end#etc etc#but now im fucking SICK of it hahahaha#the number of times ive written kazanky and had to fix it….#LUCKILY!!! (this is the point of the post) i might not have to ever do it again bc I have finished the final edit of wwgattai#now just have to translate those changes over to the other fics/parts of the series#which I can do on the flight home#so! idk. soon. i promise. sorry it’s taking so fuckin long i am mf BEAT#process poasting#additional significance also of using their last names because of their dedication to the navy over each other#a theme that will be further explored in final edits etc etc#which i s2g are coming i swear
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#so we might lose Eva#I mean she is 11 which isn't young for a dog but also she's a baby and will always be#and the prognosis is capital b Bad#so I'm going to just work and work more and keep myself distracted#and look at flight tickets later to fly back home#and the world is a shitty fucking place where pets die and there is nothing you can do about it#we just got her!!! she's 3 months old and we just got her#wtf what is wrong with the universe
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I hope life eases up soon man, take care of yourself
Thanks mate <3
stuff's starting to gradually get better now, actually let myself feel feelings after bottling them till it popped
just kinda turns out that throwing yourself into something so you're numb to the other things can really burn you out :') So I'm trying to find motivation to write and answer asks again, I'm hoping it'll be soon but idk atp
#vent in the tags - so warning ig#got home from uni#have been in fight/flight mode since#turns out that fucking saps your energy incredibly fast#accepting that my mother and I's relationship is broken beyond any repair is oddly helping though#she's proven that she doesn't see me as an individual well and truly now#so I can put the energy back into myself instead which is meh#processing that alongside my insanely fucked up grief hasn't been fun at all.#my emotions about it have been out of wack since she saw me crying and grieving a friend and assumed it was anger towards her#like I'm fucking grieving a friend I found out has recently died - do you think I'm not going to cry?#but no just assume its me being angry towards you and not me having feelings. Sure. *fine* I'll just kill my ability to feel for a bit#so I threw myself into the lu fandom again till burn out#and now I've been on off crying for a week#feeling fragile as shit#but Improving#somehow#I think#*maybe*#don't know what other personal event could happen now to be worse honestly#last 8 months have been a fucking rollercoaster#then when I manage to get back up#put myself back together#have a little breather#get immediatly broken back down#I just want a fucking hug man#and perhaps to be told that I'm worth something#I don't know#nothing really feels all that good to me anymore#but I'm holding on through it#there's light at the end of the tunnel
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☆ Nathaniel Wilson ☆
I Really Like Nathaniel because the guy embodies Hope and Positivity without forcing it down the gullets of everyone around him.
He looks like he'd be a pleasant individual to actually be around at 7 am. Even before his coffee. [ Sera should be too, she doesn't seem like an unbearable person to be around in La Matinée ( the Morning ) . But still, she is alot grumpier than her other half. ]
With that said. Insert Happy music here. Nujabes or Smth.
Submitted by @mettamorphoses!
Love the way you drew Nate here! such a clean style and serious face :> He's my favorite little quadfocal guy... friendly, polite, and a good conversationalist! You're absolutely right, he's one of the easiest people to get along with. It's almost like he knows exactly what to say to people.
Sera isn't grumpy so much as she is disinterested and dismissive. She heads to work without bothering to make small talk besides a basic "Hello." if she passes you by. Not the worst outcome, really, if silence doesn't bother you.
#submission#yeah. i'm in Tags too. wassup witchu#Aight but seriously i wonder how literally anyone would be like at 7 am.#Deva's tags start here =>#If he's home for the day he will always be a good conversationalist and offer breakfast or coffee on a morning#This is literally so cool#queued post#As for people at 7 am...#Sera is up by 4 AM unless Nate doesn't have work. By 7 she has already had breakfast and gotten ready to work on her projects.#If you catch her it is likely after she returns from a morning flight. She'll be civil but it can easily come off the wrong way. aw.#Nate takes a lot of long shifts that stretch into the night. Due to this he and Sera have very contrasting schedules.#If you see him in the morning it is usually only because of the weekend or whatever other days he takes off. He is a very tired guy#Vincent has a very erratic schedule and he is always out and about doing things that fancy him#He is also a HEAVY sleeper. Nothing can really wake him except for a very specific noise#Said sound makes him wake up in a horrendous mood. Most mornings are thankfully safe from this sort of temper.#It is hard to say what new bizarre thing he will get himself into next. Like doomcrying while hidden on the roof of a religious congregatio#Sonia is not up by 7 AM without a good reason to be. She is down at the kitchen in a bathrobe by 9 to eat some breakfast.#Which made her the unknowing first victim of Vincent's newly founded pyramid scheme#Amon is a late riser since he is still used to his old schedule from his time at the Ricciardi mafia. Sleeps late? wakes late!#If it's a weekday he will always be up at 6 AM regardless of the amount he slept to take Adra to school.#Eric tends to wake up early but often gets caught up in personal projects. He loves music and editing his tracks but it really eats his tim#So Eric will be going to sleep at 4 and see Sera making herself coffee whilst Nate is also coming home from work and crashing on the couch.#Not even Amon heads in that late. Maybe Vincent does though. If he's “Traversing the night.” Like he says he does.#Vince can't see very well at night anymore. And the sun is almost blinding now. But it's nothing to an immortal like him! ha! bow before hi
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my mom is leaving for a trip tomorrow and it’s stressing me out so bad
#she’ll be gone for a week and a half#and i just. i hate staying alone with my dad#it rarely happens and it’s usually not for this long#and i hate when anyone i know gets on a flight already and she’s having a layover too#and i’m so on edge bc of school and my mom has been the only person i could really talk to about it#and by the time she’s back i should have everything finished but i just really don’t want her to leave#esp bc staying with my dad means i have to do everything myself#which is fine like i’ve stayed home alone before but doing everything yourself bc there’s nobody around to help#and doing so when your dad does close to nothing and gets constantly mad about everything#is just. not the same#god i’ve been crying multiple times a day every day for like a week now#and nothing is getting solved and even when it seems i’m one step closer to putting all of this behind another problem appears out of nowher#and i don’t think i can stand this for much longer#whatever. save me życie na kredycie#📓
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good morning gay people in my phone
#last night was. well it was a night!#drove home to pick up my bf and on the way back we get a call from his friend and he was Not Doing Well#so we ended up picking him up and taking him to the hospital. which im scared for him for bc if hes admitted idk how hes gonna#react + the bills... i dont even wanna think about it#anyway we heard from him this morning and we can still visit today/however long hes there so thats good. can u bring stuff into hospitals?#i havent been in a minute and they ignite my fight or flight tbh. not the best in hospitals but fuck it we ball especially for friends#anyway good morning! love you and please Please remember somebody loves you and cares about you so if ur Going Thru It#thiknk of them think of me think of the future and how it can and will get better. i promise <3#talk tag
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so close...freedom is Right There....
#the good news is this exam is actually only SIXteen hours over two days instead of seventeen like I'd thought#the bad news is that it's split 7 and 9 hours instead of 8 and 8 and the second day starts an hour later#which would be fine except I also have to catch a flight#was hoping to be able to stop by home on the way back and pack but I might have to pack...in advance (shudder)#OH SHOOT I FORGOT THE BIOSTAT REVIEW#I KNEW IT I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING I MEANT TO DO TODAY#man this is what you get for spending the first four hours of the day in bed doing nothing#(that is a lie. I was catching up on belated femslash feb stuff)#(but still Nothing Productive)#cannot wait to be done and on the other side of this good lord#imagine actually being able to DO THINGS AGAIN#I know the creativity will not magically turn on like a faucet as soon as this passes but. one can dream.#Cheese's personal molasses#SO many fleeting ideas and SO little power of execution#(except my execution tomorrow ;'D)#hm. should probably go to sleep#but I don't want tomorrow to start yet#okay NOTES TO SELF:#WATCH THE BIOSTAT VIDEOS#cases cases cases cases cases#some mcq if you really want but mostly cases#pack...I guess......#how expensive would it be to briefly rent a trumpet vs. checking in a bag
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gosh dangit mother fuckers
#i havent been home in almost 3 weeks and i have traveresed the entire west coast practically as well as the majority of the pacific ocean#i was supposed to be on a plane home today but they canceled my flight bc the atmospheric river coming in which tight#except i was staying on a very leaky boat the last few nights waiting for my flight and now#i am in a room to weather the storm thanks to my extremely amazing beau#but i forgot things#very necessary things#for being stuck in a motel room for two days w nowhere to go#back on the boat#which is 20min away#its not storming yet i can go i can so do it yknow but also??#i soent two nights on a storming boat and i am SO TIRED#the fact that i forgot my ear buds and my kindle which were the promise to get me thru this imprisonment of stasis idk m8#idk yknow#my brain is so slow#when its sleepy#and now i have to go when i just got into this nice bed that is so soft and warm and not even a little damp from the ceiling
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#forgive me#i am about to complain#i am feeling hormonal and emotional#and i am still not over the fact that my bil & sil are so readily willing to take advantage of my fil's generosity#i don't know why i can't let this go!!!#i think it's the double standard#my inlaws (fil and his wife and my mil) just fucking let my bil & sil take advantage of them#and hold everyone hostage (including my partner) with the threat of withholding their presence!#it's like#they will not come to visit unless someone else foots the bill#my bil will not come visit (even when he has unlimited vacation) unless my sil also can (even though she has very limited vacation)#my bil didn't even come back home when my fil had 2 (TWO) heart attacks in june last year!!!#he just expected my partner to deal with it (which he did bc my fil's wife is garbage in stressful sitations-which fair ig)#it's just infuriating#i am so annoyed#i am so mad that not only did they not care about seeing my kid as a newborn until my fil offered to pay for flights#but that they now want to make the visit prioitize seeing my sil's grandparents before my kid!!!#like girl! you didn't want to see your own fuckijg grandparents until someone else was willing to pay for it!!#and you want to do it before seeing your brand new niece!!!#aaargh!#like i don't usually like or want to be the center of attention (for instance when my partner and i got married#our ceremony was literally just our parents and we tried hard not make a big deal about it bc my bil & sil's wedding earlier that year#was expensive and stressful for everyone (they made the whole family travel cross country for it and my mil paid for a lot of it)#and we didnt want to do that to them!)#but i do want my kid to be the center of attention!! she's going to be a brand new person and a new addition to the family!#and i want everyone to fawn over her! i feel like you deserve that when you're a brand new baby!!#and i am so annoyed that this celebration of her birth is going to get derailed by my sil being upset that her grandparents are dying!#like i get it! loss is very hard and i really feel for her! but i want this visit to be about my baby#and not her fucking guilt over choosing not to visit them AT ALL over the past 5 years!!#ok ok ok im done
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talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.
I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.
I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?
This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.
At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.
EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.
Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.
When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.
prezzemolo
I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.
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my mom: wow i thought you'd be fully unpacked already!
me, an adhd: well. i have a very narrow window of time every day where i have the motivation to do anything. and every time i go to do something somehow i end up with eight more things to do.
#liveblogging life#also im very comfortable living in a mess so i dont have enough motivation to get everything cleared out lmao#mostly it's that on top of unpacking my own stuff i also bought a bunch of furniture and home stuff#so like. i have to unpack that and put it together and get the boxes out of my place and so on#like most of my stuff is unpacked it's really just organizing it all (boring) and getting rid of boxes/bags of garbage (boring)#so it's hard to motivate myself to do it if it's not really affecting my day to day... which its not#that said i REALLY have to finish getting the last of my shit out of my car lol#i still have most of my final load in there bc it's so annoying to have to carry it upstairs#i also have SO MUCH cardboard in my house right now. so many boxes it's unreal i want them all gone#but i have to carry it all down three flights to my recycling bin and it's so annoying#i finished my bathroom/linen closet and finally fixed most of my work/writing desk#also finally got a couch that can actually fit in my door lmao and set that up so i can finally use my living room#i think i'm getting there but for sure it will probably be at least another week before im fully unpacked
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Thinking about it, it's not that I was lonely or anything growing up. I had a lot of friends and people I had fun with and talked to a bunch, but due to the way I was brought up, I wasn't able to really deepen and nurture those friendships. It's something that's impacted me to this day and at one point in my life, I became aware that some friends were not as close as I told myself they were except one particular moment, this wasn't because they did anything shitty (and that shitty thing wasn't done out of malice or intent), but it's that thing when you're young and you call everyone your close friends and you grow up and you realize lol, no they're just friends! And that's okay!).
And then I learned to see relationships I had with people very objectively (for the most part! I'm only human) which helped me be a more balanced adult and why I don't particularly get upset that certain friendships fade. That's just part of life, and when you're an adult, it's even harder to maintain a certain intensity and intimacy in friendships and a certain amount of interaction. I don't know if this is weird to say, but I think that's why I get taken aback and it means a lot to me when I have to recalibrate my perspective on a relationship because a good friend actually values what we have more than I expected.
Obviously, this is uncomfortable and bemusing when you know for a fact that their perspective isn't accurate and they're implying there's an intimacy there that in fact isn't, but when it's someone you care about and they level up the friendship like that...I'm not explaining things right. It hasn't happened much tbh even if I obviously had and have friends who have appreciated and celebrated our friendships and that means a lot too, that you know where you stand and you never have to question it, but there are some friendships where you realize oh...I mean a lot to this person. Oh, this is how much I mean to them or they like me this much?
#this probably makes zero sense because i'm writing this stream of consciousness style without editing lol#it's not that i don't care for friendships that i realize aren't that deep#because there are friends whom you have fun with and friends whom you do certain things with. work/school friends. social friends etc.#i really like people! and care about people! but i'm also aware of where we stand#and i respect that. this makes me sound like i'm a neutral distant observer lol#although sometimes this does get in the way of developing relationships further#and i'm not infallible. i still want more from relationships that i like that maybe i'll get too#but yeah. sometimes a friend drives all the way to your house to drop off a letter#before you go on a flight to live in another country for a while#even though that friend was ''objectively'' speaking someone you can categorize#as a school friend because we never hung out outside of school#and you last saw them at graduation and they're out of your life#but they decide they'd write you a plane letter and hand deliver it to you despite never dropping by before#instead of emailing/dming/snail mailing it#sometimes a classmate invites you to his house and it's supposed to be for a school thing#but then you end up talking for hours so that his parents come home and it's almost time for dinner#and your mom keeps calling your phone because of that and he says something that makes you realize#whoa. i didn't know you understood and appreciated me like that. you SEE me#and then instead of saying bye he'd walk you home and then we didn't shut up then#a friend who let you crash at her place which was super gracious#but hey we were college kids! except then she mentioned she wished you stayed longer#and she wished she could take you on a road trip into the beautiful irish countryside to show you her home#and do that all for you and i think of all the opportunities i lost#and opportunities that were interrupted and i think what if because i don't have opportunities like that anymore#i am both glad that i'm able to not feel hurt about overinvesting in relationships#and frustrated at how i get in my own way because you got to take the leap!#instead of letting things be where they stand. ANYWAY feeling grateful for those who#took a leap with me and went beyond sometimes without realizing what they did was bigger than they knew
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so my younger cousin is flying in to visit from brazil on sunday, and will be staying here for like, the entirety of july. which, don't get me wrong, is super cool! i love the kid! but it felt like a super weird move, considering his parents are the SUPER strict and borderline helicopter parents. even the smallest prank/roughousing with him/his little sister would lead to a strict talking to from his parents, he couldn't ever do anything without their clear permission, that sort of stuff. so letting him fly at alone at 16 to a whole different country and stay there for a whole month seemed WILDLY out of character. additionally, it just felt like a super last-minute trip. it's not like we have any plans to do when he gets here, and the flight itself and stuff only got booked like, midway through june.
and i was talking to my mom about it, kind of trying to nudge some answers out of her, and after a while she went, "yeah, i think they're sending him over here to get away for his boyfriend. see if the distance breaks them off." which, first of all, surprised me because last i checked, they didn't KNOW he had a boyfriend. literally everyone in the family did EXCEPT for them because while that entire side of the family being semi-conservative, his parents (mostly his dad) are EXTREMELY old-fashioned. so clearly something already went wrong. and considering the only reason the rest of the family knew is because one person found out and it spread like wildfire, i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the one to tell them, either.
and second of all. they're sending him HERE. to try to make him forget his homosexuality. i couldn't do anything but just wordlessly gesture to the multiple pride flags scattered around my room, then to myself, because really? he has like two other cousins in the us and they're sending him to me? honey i am about to introduce this kid to queer scenes you have never even heard of. he'll be returning home with labels only shrimp can perceive
#icarus speaks#i fully believe she's correct btw#they are. not the brightest people. and honestly probably believe this is something that could work#cause i can see the logic of get him away and hopefully he'll realize it's a phase. which is Likely what they think#but oh honey you have a big storm coming#side note this is the SECOND time someone's been outed without permission on that side of the family 😭#bitches learned of my transgenderism SO quickly#also even if that's NOT why they sent him here. i will still be rocking his world#they have given me Infinite Power and i will use it to make this kid's life as queer as physically possible
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As soon as I get home I am never leaving my house again.
#im having a horrible morning :D#I've been staying with my brother the past few days for guilt reasons and as nice as he and his girlfriend are this house is#my own personal hell. In the area that im staying everything is cold and damp (including the toiletpaper) and I think ive been rubbing mold#on my face because my towel wont dry. I cant go two inches without seeing or accidentally stepping on a bug and theres dirt and debris#literally everywhere. There are so many goddamn stairs. I tried to actually make something to eat today that was more substantial and more#effort than like a fistful of goldfiah crackers. The knife I had seemed very dull. My noodles are probably undercooked because I don't#understand the stovetop. When I tried to pour my soup out of the pot the shape of it made it so half the liquid in there just poured#straight onto the stove. All of the chairs in this province are so goddamn uncomfortable. I am miserable as I knew I would be#and I want to go home. I miss my cat and my ability to create a semi-sterile environment. My flight (which is itself a horrible stressor an#impending miserable experience + I had to spend $350 for a flight I don't want to be on to get home from a trip I didnt want to go on)#isnt until Monday and its only Wednesday today. I already always feel like Im seeing bugs and like theyre crawling on me.#I cannot live somewhere where thats actually *true*. I'm also constantly being unsubtly judged for using a mobility aid and any time I talk#to my mom she doesnt listen to literally anything I say and theres so much goddamn noise in this house and I dont wanna say anything to my#brother because thats *rude* and *ungrateful* but the only texture I can stand in this place is the tiny couch I have to curl up but keep#vigilant on because not even that is safe from bugs!!! And all of the counters are sticky!!! And they made me get expensive groceries that#I cant make myself use! I'm in a sensory and emotional nightmare and in constant physical pain! And then people get upset with me for being#miserable to be around! What the fuck do they want me to do!?!?#anyways.#ghostprince posts#vent#delete later#I want to go home.#update: I took like two bites of my food and immediately became nauseous. I've also become convinced there's bugs in there. Great.
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Before my beloved and I moved in together they were living with roommates in a place that didn't have a bathtub. Now, a reasonable person might conclude from this that baths would be out of the equation in a home with only one standing shower and no tub.
But these people weren't quitters. Naturopathic doctors and acupuncturists they were dedicated to treating their bodies well and one of the ways they liked to do that was hydrotherapy. Most people are familiar with this through things like polar bear plunges. You sit in a hot tub then jump in freezing water.
It's supposedly good for you and they were way into it. But again, no tub. They'd do hydro showers but it just wasn't the same. These people were not quitters, though. (One of them is the boob soap person, so it really isn't a surprise that she goes hard on everything). So they got what looked like two big metal old timey tubs but which were actually animal food troughs and set them up in the garage. They set up a water heater and god knows how they emptied the tub after, I think there was hoses involved? A pump maybe? I honestly can't remember. Anyway! Voila, hydrotherapy on demand.
I was not aware of this. So when I came over after a long day and my beloved said we should take a bath I was extremely puzzled. I only knew about the one shower. They showed me the garage tubs. I did want a bath and I wasn't really sure about the setup, but honestly I'll try anything once if only for the story, so I agreed.
Fun fact about me though. I haaaate being cold. I've been 0% body fat most of my life with skin barely keeping my bones enclosed. I'm always cold. My favorite activity at the time was sitting directly in front of space heaters. My shower temperatures turn me lobster red and make my beloved cringe. Willingly dunking myself into cold water is the antipathy of my entire deal.
On the night in question I happily submerged into the warm tank, pleasantly surprised by the big silly improvised tub. Which again was meant for livestock. My knees bumped companionably against my beloved as we soaked in the hot water. After a while they rose to go into the cold water. "You don't have to," they told me.
But I was haunted. I wouldn't be doing hydro if I just stayed in the warm tub. Maybe hydro was amazing. It has all these health benefits. I desperately didn't want to but I stood up with them. We were having this nice intimate evening in the garage, just us, I felt safe. I was gonna do it.
They stepped easily into the cold tub, dunking matter of factly into the frigid water. I went to step. I did. I really really tried. My foot went in and I started shrieking, my progress arrested by the total state of shock I entered when my warm toasty foot hit that smug arctic water tension. My beloved started laughing as my pitch ascended the deeper my foot went into the cold water.
I started loudly narrating my discomfort as my foot touched the bottom and I willed my other foot up to join it. "THIS IS VERY COLD," I yelled, "IT'S SO COLD I THINK I MIGHT DIE HOW ARE YOU JUST CASUALLY SITTING IN THIS FREEZING COLD WATER?! I'M DYING- I THINK I'M DYING! I'M DYING BUT WE'RE HERE, TOGETHER! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THESE EVEN THOUGH IT'S SO COLD ALL MY MOLECULES HAVE COMPRESSED INTO A SOLID STATE!"
I ended up with both feet planted in the cold tub, water up to my shins, bellowing and panting while my beloved laughed so hard they couldn't breathe. I hunkered over the cold water, squatting like a frozen gargoyle.
My beloved was trying to psyche me up while I willed my body to obey me. In a sudden jerky drop like a puppet whose strings have been cut I plummeted my body into the cold and let out a shriek that I’m sure could have shattered glass and then leapt up out of the water at a speed relative to a rocket achieving space flight. I didn’t like it.
When we got back inside my beloved's roommates were collapsed on the ground with tears in the their eyes from how hard they'd been laughing. They and probably every neighbor down the block had heard my pterodactyl screeching and narration because the garage was not remotely soundproof.
#ramblies#ffs foibles#funny#story#writing#my beloved#fun fact I'm the same way on roller coasters#I just scream a terrified narration and my beloved thinks its the funnies thing
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Breakfast in Bed .ᐟ
❤︎ | Trouble in paradise? Well, Sae has an early morning treat for you to fix that (2.5k wc) ╰ feat. itoshi sae (bllk) x afab! reader
kinktober entry no. 8 | kinktober masterlist
tags - somnophilia, rare sweet sae, sweet and sensual smex, p in v, unprotected smex, p*rn with plot, pussay eating, pronebone, profanity
minors do not interact
"Don't bother coming home. Jerk."
Sae wasn't one to reread texts, but he was beyond restless with the way you two left things an hour ago. It wasn't his fault that he was being kept at work for longer than he would like. He knew you wouldn't believe him when he said that he was trying his best to get home to you.
He wanted to prove a point; he really did. That's why he found himself booking a flight last minute on a trip that takes place at ungodly hours of the night.
That meant his usual ride wouldn't be there to pick him up at the airport and drive him straight to your shared condo unit. The Sae Itoshi had to flag down a taxi and make his way home like an ordinary person.
Sae leaned back on to the worn out faux leather seat of the taxi. His brows were scrunched, already feeling the impending headache caused by the unplanned trip home.
But again, he had to prove a point.
A deep sigh fell from his chapped lips as he opened the door to your place. He quickly checked his watch which read 4:48 AM. He should've been asleep hours ago, but he was generous enough to lose sleep just so he could come home to you as soon as possible.
He pushed his luggage haphazardly to the side before slipping off his shoes. His jacket was next to come off and he simply threw it on the couch.
Sae had to rub the sleep from his face. He'd been yawning multiple times throughout his trip home and he let out one big yawn before opening the door to the bedroom.
As expected, you were fast asleep. You couldn't be bothered to stay on your side of the bed, seeing as how you took up the center all sprawled out and lying on your stomach. Sae watched your sleeping figure for a moment before gently closing the door behind him. He quietly made his way over to the foot of the bed, still observing you.
"Well, here I am. Brat," he muttered to himself. As much as he wanted to tell you that—it was better if he let you sleep. Not that he thought you looked adorable that way, but he wasn't about to wake you up to say something so... asshole-y.
Although, his mind wandered. He was unsure if it was because he always thought this way or because his mind was exhausted from all the traveling he did—but God, did you look ethereal in that silk night dress.
His eyes traced every curve hugged by the fabric. The tiny dress bunched up a bit by your waist, showing off the sorry excuse for panties that you wore to sleep.
He calls them that because it barely covered anything.
Finally, he understood why you were so frantic about him coming home as soon as he could. You missed him and he missed you. Though, "missed" felt like an understatement.
Sae needed you and it took him an awful ride back home to realize just that.
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He had to be careful. Slowly, he let his knee dig into the mattress, the cushions dipping due to his weight. Sae plants both hands on either side of you as he attempts to hover above you. It was like a hungry lion about to pounce on its unsuspecting prey.
He let his eyes roam your body, noting how he'll touch you without waking you up. Up close, he can see how your body rises up and down as you breathe. You looked so peaceful—a stark contrast of what you probably looked like earlier when quarreling with him over text.
A soft sigh escapes his lips. Sae was incredibly tired; he wanted nothing more than to plop down right beside you and snooze until morning. But, then again, he also had this urge.
A burgeoning urge to feel you—to touch you.
He took a single finger and traced the column of your back. Sae watched intently as your face scrunched up, annoyed by the unexpected stimulus.
But, much to his pleasure, that one touch made you shift from lying on your stomach and on to your back. He had to move away a bit to make sure you didn't hit him as you moved.
You were now facing him—mouth slightly agape—telling Sae that you were having a good night's rest. Hi gaze lingered on your face for a moment before it trailed down to where your clothes had bunched up even further.
That only made it harder for him to go to sleep.
Sae could be cheeky sometimes. He pulled the thin strap of your panties with two fingers before letting it go and hearing the 'snap' it made against your skin.
You softly grunted, annoyed that whatever it was that was bothering you hasn't gone away yet.
Truthfully, he found it quite amusing. His mind raced about what he was to do moving forward. But the longer he admired your body, the more sure he became of his choice.
Carefully, he pushed the fabric of your dress a little higher—just enough to show your belly button. He hooked his finger on the strap of your panties before pulling it down, slowly and steadily so as to not wake you up.
Once the flimsy fabric was out of sight, he stared at your lower half again—debating whether or not to continue. But he was already there, wasn't he?
As gently as he could, Sae pushed your leg away, opening you up for him. He had seen you countless of times before, but the sight of your glistening folds always seem to knock the air out of his lungs each time. You were a sight for sore eyes.
Cautiously, he traced your pussy with the pad of his thumb. That alone had him sucking through his teeth. He pressed your clit firmly causing you to squirm, but not enough to snap you out of your slumber.
"Fuck," he whispered into the chilly air of your shared bedroom. He liked foreplay as much as the next guy, but he was sure his dick was going to burst with how hard it was. He needed you now.
But he remembered how irritated you were earlier over the phone... perhaps, he could still be nice enough and prepare you even if just by a bit.
He dug in like a starved animal, lapping at your folds with a newfound enthusiasm you had never seen from him before when he ate you out. He was sure you'd laugh at him if you saw how famished he was for you. The stoic Sae Itoshi would never look so desperate like this.
But you were none the wiser about it, so he didn't care.
He suckled your clit relentlessly and you tried snapping your thighs close, but he made sure you kept them nicely opened up for him. Sae was growing impatient by the second, tongue darting in your hole at a quick pace.
You were already a mess for him. Surely, you should be ready for him at this point.
Sae gave your weeping pussy one last lick before hovering above you again. He could barely make out the expression you were making, but you were probably having the wildest dream right now. He softly patted your head—as if to soothe you—and ran his fingers through your hair.
In a rare show of gentle affection, the man leaned down and gave you a quick peck on your forehead. Somehow, that tiny action eased your expression—as though you knew who it was that gave you such a kiss.
With one hand supporting his weight, Sae used the other to free his aching cock from his sweats. He hissed upon feeling the air wrap around his sensitive skin.
He needed something warm, he thought. It just so happens that the perfect little pussy was right in front of him, waiting to be devoured.
Sae stroked himself a few times, easing himself up first before you'd suck him in without mercy.
He felt like a teenager all over again—biting his lip at such a mundane moment. Mundane—considering the other things you two have done in the past.
Soon as he lined up the tip against your entrance, he didn't wait another second. A guttural groan left him once his tip penetrated you. One swift push and he was halfway in.
It had him throwing his head back. This was new—this was definitely new.
"Sae?"
The faint sound of you calling out his name snapped him out of the immense pleasure he was feeling. Part of him felt a tad bit embarrassed that you caught him at his most vulnerable.
"Happy now? I'm home," he whispers. Although, he gives you no chance to respond—stuffing the rest of his length into you.
It felt like the stars aligned for him. The sun rose high enough at this hour that the light poured into the room. He could see more clearly the way your face contorted in bliss.
He pulled out again, only to sheath himself back to the hilt. He was used to fucking you stupid—purging the brattiness that he had to deal with on the daily. But, for some odd reason, he wanted to go slow today.
Sae leaned down again to give you another kiss on the forehead. He didn't feel all too embarrassed now. Besides, you were half-awake anyway.
"Slept well? You better 'cuz I may have missed you."
His words caused you to choke out a moan. "That's rich."
Usually, with a response like that, he'd start snapping his hips faster. But he controlled himself. You were always cranky in the morning after all.
"I know you missed me. Look at how well you take me." His eyes dart down to where you two were connected. A white ring had formed at the base of his cock and there was already a faint squelching sound every time he bucked his hips into you.
You clicked your tongue, annoyed that there was no way of denying the truth. It was hard to lie with his face close to yours and with his dick dragging along your walls so sweetly.
"You can lie all you want, but your pussy always tells me the truth," he whispers in your ear. Again, he cut you off—biting your earlobe gently.
The unusually slow and sensual pace threw you off, but you weren't complaining. He still hit that spot perfectly like he always did. And you kind of liked this—how he'd whisper sweet things to you, kiss your neck so desperately, and make love to you so tenderly.
Slow as he was, it still brought you closer and closer to the edge. He was quick to catch on it as you wrapped your arms around his neck, keeping him close to you.
The rapid breathing that filled his ears made him impossibly harder. Neither did it help that you kept getting tighter and tighter around him. He wanted to last longer, but the quivering of your pussy caused by your first orgasm pushed him to climax with you. Sticky seed painted your walls.
It was romantic—kind of. He was only realizing that now.
After his climax died down slightly, it was then he felt the sting of your nails scratching his back earlier. Though it didn't bother him at all.
If anything—it only heightened the sensations he was feeling.
"Fuck... I didn't mean to—"
You coo at him. "It's okay. Don't be embarrassed."
Just like he did earlier, you patted his head—hair rather damp from the sweat that built up due to your activities.
But you were too quick to comfort him because he was still painfully hard even after coming once.
"Ah... Guess I won't be going back to sleep soon huh?"
Sae sighs deeply. "I can deal with it myself. You can go back to sleep if you want."
You knew he had a habit of dealing things by himself even with things in the bedroom. It killed him inside to say that; he wanted to do so much more to your compliant body.
As he was about to pull out, you hastily wrapped your legs around his torso to stop him.
"Goddamn."
Sae couldn't help but bury his face into your neck. Thank fuck you were just as insatiable as he was.
"Sleep can wait," you whisper back.
"Turn around then."
'What?" you asked.
"On your tummy. I wanna do something," he explained.
Reluctantly, you unclasped your legs, letting him pull out. Sae helped you turn to lie flat on your belly. Now, you understood what he wanted to do.
Instead of slapping your ass like he would usually do, he caressed it—admiring his favorite body part of yours. With two large hands, he spread you out for him.
The new position made more blood rush into his dick. He had to fuck you one more time or else it would get too painful again.
He sheathed himself back in. His dick stretched you out deliciously and you tried stifling your moans, planting your face into the mattress.
Sae began fucking you with the same pace as earlier. Every drag along your walls elicited a moan from you that went wasted—being muffled by the thick covers.
He kept you all spread out for him. The grip on your ass was almost bruising even though he had promised to be gentle today. It was simply impossible to not get ahead of himself.
No words were exchanged as he pounded you from behind. The exhaustion you both felt and the need to moan your heart out took precedence.
A groan rumbled from his chest. He was close again. He was coming again way too fast for his liking. Sae was starting to think his dick was having problems, but maybe it was just your tight and warm cunt making him go haywire.
"Fuck... what did you do to me?" he wondered before a deep groan rumbled from his chest.
In response, you came abruptly—coating his length with your juices. You let out your most vulgar moan that morning. Your neighbors would have definitely heard if it weren't for the bed suppressing most of the volume.
You've had too many complaints in the past.
"Hahhh... waking up the neighbors? What a dirty fucking girl you are. Take it—take it all."
His hips began to go at a staccato pace, going out of beat once in a while in anticipation of his incoming high.
With one final thrust of his hips into you—he came so much like he hadn't just emptied himself in your cunt earlier. A warm sensation flooded your pussy again.
Sae swore that if he had time to rest after the match and before getting on that plane, he wouldn't be pathetically lying on top of you like this. He swore that he wouldn't collapse after coming a measly 2 times.
©miyukisu do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms
╰ author's note The ending is so ass. I don't know how to end these things wtf
#blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock smut#sae x reader#sae smut#sae itoshi smut#sae itoshi#bllk#bllk smut#kinktober#kinktober 24#mksu.works#mksu.ktober 24
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