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#my bil will not come visit (even when he has unlimited vacation) unless my sil also can (even though she has very limited vacation)
zmaragdos · 2 years
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#forgive me#i am about to complain#i am feeling hormonal and emotional#and i am still not over the fact that my bil & sil are so readily willing to take advantage of my fil's generosity#i don't know why i can't let this go!!!#i think it's the double standard#my inlaws (fil and his wife and my mil) just fucking let my bil & sil take advantage of them#and hold everyone hostage (including my partner) with the threat of withholding their presence!#it's like#they will not come to visit unless someone else foots the bill#my bil will not come visit (even when he has unlimited vacation) unless my sil also can (even though she has very limited vacation)#my bil didn't even come back home when my fil had 2 (TWO) heart attacks in june last year!!!#he just expected my partner to deal with it (which he did bc my fil's wife is garbage in stressful sitations-which fair ig)#it's just infuriating#i am so annoyed#i am so mad that not only did they not care about seeing my kid as a newborn until my fil offered to pay for flights#but that they now want to make the visit prioitize seeing my sil's grandparents before my kid!!!#like girl! you didn't want to see your own fuckijg grandparents until someone else was willing to pay for it!!#and you want to do it before seeing your brand new niece!!!#aaargh!#like i don't usually like or want to be the center of attention (for instance when my partner and i got married#our ceremony was literally just our parents and we tried hard not make a big deal about it bc my bil & sil's wedding earlier that year#was expensive and stressful for everyone (they made the whole family travel cross country for it and my mil paid for a lot of it)#and we didnt want to do that to them!)#but i do want my kid to be the center of attention!! she's going to be a brand new person and a new addition to the family!#and i want everyone to fawn over her! i feel like you deserve that when you're a brand new baby!!#and i am so annoyed that this celebration of her birth is going to get derailed by my sil being upset that her grandparents are dying!#like i get it! loss is very hard and i really feel for her! but i want this visit to be about my baby#and not her fucking guilt over choosing not to visit them AT ALL over the past 5 years!!#ok ok ok im done
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