#before you go on a flight to live in another country for a while

[doux-amer]

Thinking about it, it's not that I was lonely or anything growing up. I had a lot of friends and people I had fun with and talked to a bunch, but due to the way I was brought up, I wasn't able to really deepen and nurture those friendships. It's something that's impacted me to this day and at one point in my life, I became aware that some friends were not as close as I told myself they were except one particular moment, this wasn't because they did anything shitty (and that shitty thing wasn't done out of malice or intent), but it's that thing when you're young and you call everyone your close friends and you grow up and you realize lol, no they're just friends! And that's okay!).

And then I learned to see relationships I had with people very objectively (for the most part! I'm only human) which helped me be a more balanced adult and why I don't particularly get upset that certain friendships fade. That's just part of life, and when you're an adult, it's even harder to maintain a certain intensity and intimacy in friendships and a certain amount of interaction. I don't know if this is weird to say, but I think that's why I get taken aback and it means a lot to me when I have to recalibrate my perspective on a relationship because a good friend actually values what we have more than I expected.

Obviously, this is uncomfortable and bemusing when you know for a fact that their perspective isn't accurate and they're implying there's an intimacy there that in fact isn't, but when it's someone you care about and they level up the friendship like that...I'm not explaining things right. It hasn't happened much tbh even if I obviously had and have friends who have appreciated and celebrated our friendships and that means a lot too, that you know where you stand and you never have to question it, but there are some friendships where you realize oh...I mean a lot to this person. Oh, this is how much I mean to them or they like me this much?

[maxivstappen]

THE GREATEST

[ part two / masterlist / requests are open ]

☽｡⋆ being in a relationship with a formula 1 driver like lando was hard, but not impossible. right? a story based on THE GREATEST by billie eilish. — lando norris x fem!reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 angst! pure angst, swearing. i’ll write a part 2 if requested 𝄞 4.4k words

❝ I’m trying my best to keep you satisfied ❞

Loving a formula 1 driver, let alone being in a relationship with one, wasn’t easy. But that didn’t stop you. In fact, you were sure nothing was ever going to be able to get in between the love that Lando and you shared, the kisses and the late night cuddles, the fun family dinners and the celebrations of his milestones. Everything was so perfect.

Yes, sometimes it’s hard to meet his standards, sometimes having you leave your own family to go attend races with him, or the blatant flirting he would still be partaking in at after-race parties, it was definitely a flaw of your relationship, but maybe you should’ve just worn something prettier or done your makeup in a different way, in the end it’s your fault if his attention wasn’t keen on you, right?

But no matter what, you were ready to do it for him. He’s your main priority, just as he should be. That’s what makes a relationship a functioning one, doesn’t it?

❝ Let you get your rest while I stayed up all night ❞

Of course you weren’t always his main priority, but who were you to judge him? He’s a professional racing driver, it’s not only a job but a complete career, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world. Having a world championship under his belt, that was more important than you. You just have to live like that, someone had to put in the work for the relationship. And because it definitely wasn’t Lando, it was you. But you didn’t mind, you’d do it all over again for him. Because you truly loved him, and to you, there was nothing in this world stronger than love.

So when you both finally get home after a long race weekend, you don’t mind doing the cooking and cleaning and laundry for him. You also don’t mind him going to sleep while you’re up packing up luggage for him and you to depart for the next GP. You would’ve appreciated some skin contact after such a busy and nerve wrecking weekend, but if he needed rest, then he should have it. You could rest another time, maybe during the flight or while he was spending time with his friends. You weren’t sure why, but Lando always insisted on not having you with him, always making up excuses why you couldn’t come even if in reality, you were at “home” trying to get used to the new place you’d have to stay at for the next week. Maybe you would’ve preferred being with him, or having him with you, or being in your home country with your loved ones he was yet to meet, but that’s okay. He had his fun with his friends and their girlfriends, that’s what mattered.

Maybe he didn’t want you there because, while he dated a girl he’s known since forever, a girl who knew him before his win and his fame and his career, all the others were dating models and successful women. Maybe you embarrassed him a little bit, so you were understanding when he told you to stay at home. His fans didn’t exactly love you either, so actually, it was really thoughtful of him not to have you by his side when he went out, because then his fan base and the news wouldn’t be able to pick at every little flaw you had, which you had surprisingly lots of, as the media told you.

The clock read 5am when you finally finished packing up the luggage and went to bed yourself. Well, not the bed but rather the couch, because Lando had just previously told you not to wake him if he was already asleep, and who were you to rip him out of his peaceful slumber when he had so much pressure on him the last three days? It was a little cold, but that’s okay. It was just kinda difficult to fall asleep on the small, hard, uncomfortable couch.

The clock read 8am when you woke up to prepare breakfast for him and you.

❝ And you don’t wanna know how alone I’ve been ❞

You knew better than to complain. Of course you felt a little bit alone in the huge apartments while he was away, spending time at the track or in the gym with his friends. How could you not? You were in a country you’ve never been in before, a country with no familiar faces or friends or people you could talk to besides the McLaren team and well, your boyfriend. But in the end, Lando showed you the world. And you had to be grateful for that. Even if he basically just pushed you around the world and then picked you up again when it was time to travel farther. And god, how you missed your family. And how deeply you wanted them to meet your one and only love, Lando. It was sickening, the need to be at home again.

One time after a long day of qualifying, you told Lando about your homesickness and that you felt a bit alone on this journey.

He got mad and told you if you wanted, you could just leave. He’s not keeping you here. 20 minutes after, you were stood in the kitchen making dinner for the two of you. Your response to “Are you actually fucking crying right now?” was a quiet “I was just cutting onions.”

His reply to “I thought we were eating together, I made dinner” was “I’m going out to eat with Charles and his girlfriend.”

You felt your heart break in that second, but he was just mad and not thinking straight. Outbursts are okay sometimes.

❝ Let you come and go, whatever state I’m in ❞

You spent the whole evening and night crying, putting his food in the fridge in case he was hungry later. The tears didn’t stop until he came back through the door, obviously a bit tipsy. He quickly wrapped his arms around you and told you how sorry he was, telling you that next time, he would take you with him to dinner. You knew it wasn’t true, and he knew as well.

At least you felt his touch again, his arms around you and his rough fingers caressing your cheek. That was worth the tears and the unappreciated cooking.

❝ Man am I the greatest? My congratulations ❞

Miami GP ‘24. Lando’s first win in his Formula 1 career. You were the proudest girlfriend in the world and you couldn’t wait to celebrate his win with him tomorrow, knowing he’d be busy partying with the others today. You’re in Miami, after all. And he has just won. Of course he had to celebrate that with his boys, surrounded by beautiful women and loads of alcohol. He would never cheat on you, but you were sure he wouldn’t mind being in the presence of some women who were gifted with a prettier face and body than you were. That’s okay, at least he doesn’t use you for your looks.

As he stood there on the highest step of the podium, smiling like a little kid who had just fulfilled his dreams, smiling like he once had smiled at you, it made you so incredibly happy and emotional and you couldn’t wait to finally see him and give him a big celebration kiss.

Once he was back in the paddock he told you to wait until the cameras were gone. You didn’t get a hug either. Not until you were back in the apartment.

At last. you got your hug and a kiss. As a goodbye before he left with Max.

❝ All my love and patience, all my admiration ❞

The day after, you woke up at 7, waiting for him to wake up while you were already up in the kitchen, baking a small cake with a “one” on it, all decorated in orange.

Even if you were left unsatisfied yesterday, that didn’t stop you from still feeling eternally proud of him, and proud to be able to call yourself his girlfriend. He was so dedicated to the things he loved, it was a pleasure to watch him go through life with his determination. Racing was his passion, there’s no shame in sometimes forgetting your girlfriend for it.

He finally entered the kitchen at 12, smiling at the small cake placed upon the dining table. “Surprise!” You said, and he immediately went to hug and kiss you, smiling just as brightly as he did on that podium. Moments like these were a reminder that he did in fact love you, and once again, that it’s all worth it.

❝ All the times I waited for you to want me naked ❞

You often wondered how the others managed to keep up their relationships.

Just recently you were having lunch with the other WAGs at a restaurant near the circuit. Originally, you didn’t want to come, still feeling insecure about what the media has to say about you, the ugly duckling around the most beautiful women in F1 history. However, they insisted. At the table the girls began talking about the party after Lando’s win, and how proud you must’ve been to see him on that podium. You loved talking about it, until you were asked why you didn’t come with him to the party. A lame excuse of “I was just tired and not feeling well” made the others look at you weirdly. How could she be so selfish and miss her boyfriend’s afterparty for that? Alex, Charles’ girlfriend smiled at you with a knowing look, but you pretended not to notice, feeling embarrassed.

The next topic at the table was rather intimate, and you wanted to puke right then and there. Were you really the only one who hasn’t been touched in so long, because there just wasn’t enough time between all the travelling and racing and exhaustion? Or were you just not good enough? Was it really your looks? Should you change?

You missed it dearly, the intimate times with Lando. The ones where he finally took care of you instead of the other way around, the ones where you could feel the connection between you two with all your senses. Was it your fault that these times stopped? Lando was so perfect, it just couldn’t be his fault.

Maybe you just had to wait until he wanted you again.

❝ Made it all look painless, man, am I the greatest? ❞

You didn’t show your feelings often, not your real ones. The times he had catched you crying for him on you knees were pathetic little situations he shouldn’t have seen you in. When asked, you denied. “Do you feel lonely in this relationship?” — “No.” “Does he make you cry often?” — “No.” “Do you think your relationship is slowly breaking apart?” — “No.”

Talking about it with the women around the paddocks or when you’d facetime your friends from home, you never once said anything bad about Lando. Never once complained about how he treated you or how he ignored your feelings and your endeavors. Not even your closest friends knew what was really going on, or maybe, you just didn’t know that yourself. In your mind, this was just a phase where his career just made it impossible for him to focus on you. Someday this would change. Sooner or later, it would change.

For everyone else, you had the greatest, perfect, flawless relationship. And you didn’t mind keeping that imagine up. For his sake.

❝ Doing what’s right without a reward ❞

And so it kept going. You making efforts, him abandoning you. No matter what you did for him, no matter how much heart and love you put in for him, it was left unappreciated. But that‘s okay, still. You were in a relationship, your only task was to love him, and you did. Because that‘s the right thing to do in a relationship, and for him, you‘d do anything. No matter if he appreciated it or not at the moment, you knew that, eventually, he would.

❝ And we don‘t have to fight when it‘s not worth fighting for ❞

At least you hoped that he would change someday, so far he obviously hadn’t, and it was slowly getting to you in a more serious manner. In a way that might worry you and the people around you, in a way you wouldn‘t forget. That one time you prepared dinner for the both of you and he went out with Charles and Alex instead, it was all forgotten in a matter of seconds when he apologized. But now every single interaction he had with other women haunted you, asleep or awake. No apology would help you actually think he would change his current treatment towards you, and as it seemed, he didn‘t care either.

There was no point in fighting anymore, no point in telling him how you feel whenever he walks out the door, leaving you alone with nothing but your awful thoughts. For fuck‘s sake, you left all you had behind to be there for him, and how does he show his gratefulness? He doesn’t, because he isn’t fucking grateful, and he couldn’t care less about you and your dumb feelings. He doesn’t care that you want nothing more than to finally be able to introduce him to your family, he doesn’t care that you gave up your own career for his, and he doesn’t care that while he’s treating you the way he is, all the people who knew the both of you and basically the whole internet was only picking you apart. Never him.

Oh you were such a shitty girlfriend refusing to kiss him in front of the cameras after his first win, but wasn’t he the one who pushed you away? And how could you miss the party that night, the party dedicated to your oh soo perfect boyfriend? Do you not care about him enough? Were you not proud? So many girls would trade their life for a day in your shoes, and you just didn’t appreciate that? What a disappointment you are to the WAGs, and what a disappointment you must be to Lando.

“Lando please, listen to me,” — “No, I’m done with your insufferable complaining all the time. I meant it the first time I said it and I mean it now, if you wanna leave, leave.”

❝ And you don’t wanna know what I would’ve done, anything at all, worse than anyone ❞

You would’ve walked through fire for him to love you again. For everything to go back like it once was. When he would brag about you to his friends and even in interview, when he took you to hang out with his friends and to parties, always keeping an arm around your shoulders so other guys wouldn’t even dare to look at you, when he was so eager to fulfill not only his, but also your dreams, wether that be a simple one, like him meeting your parents in your childhood home, or the greater ones, like becoming not only a good, but a great graphic designer. When he would watch you draw and perfect yet the smallest details with nothing but the growing admiration for you visible in his eyes. When he would kiss you good night and good morning, when he would ask about your day and passionately tell you about his. Back to when he had loved you. But now it was too late. All the things you had done for him, all the things you would probably still do, in the end, were for nothing more than a broken heart.

The sleepless nights. The nerve wrecking days. The painful parting from your family and friends. The abandonment of the life with him you had so desperately wished for.

It was all for nothing.

❝ I loved you, and I still do. Just wanted passion from you, just wanted what I gave you ❞

Last day before the summer break, the last race. And probably, the last day of him and you.

You were done with his shit, the sad look on your face visible to everyone in the room as you sat and watched the race from the McLaren hospitality, his parents seated next to you. Something felt very off, your usual happy and optimistic demeanor completely washed off, replaced by a dark, almost expressionless look. They sensed that something might have happened between Lando and you, but nobody dared to ask, too busy watching the intense race.

The outcome was disappointing, Lando finishing behind Max, the one he’d have to beat to win the championship. The team and the people inside the paddock and the hospitality clapped for him and Oscar anyway, with Oscar finishing second and Lando fifth. You cheered and smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes. You knew what was to come once you’d be back in the hotel. You were scared, sure it would be the most painful thing you’d ever have to do, putting all the things you’d done for him, all the things he’d done to you, in its shadow.

The celebration went well, again, no hug or kiss for you. You were sure his mother had even scolded him for it, but that wasn’t important anymore. You didn’t really care anyway, the media would run their mouths about you anyway, and Lando surely doesn’t give a shit either way. You desperately needed an answer, you wanted him to explain it to you. What had suddenly happen, what did you do wrong, for him to suddenly act like this? And if he fell out of love, then why couldn’t he just tell you?

Meanwhile Lando was busy celebrating Oscar‘s podium, taking pictures for the McLaren instagram account and whatnot, then doing the post race interviews.

He loved you, he really did. But he just didn’t see you as someone he wanted to spend this life with. He couldn’t imagine living his private life without you by his side, he wanted you to come with him to visit his family at home, to come with him when he would meet up with Max and the others during summer break or really, he wanted to just do nothing with you, nothing but share small kisses and cuddling on his couch at home, eating some homemade food and drinking a glass of wine together. At the same time, he thought that you didn’t fit in. Not in this life.

You met when he wasn’t yet the person he is now. When he was still passionate about so many other things other than just racing. Of course this had always been a part of him, but so were you. And now its just racing that occupied his mind, no single corner in his head left for his girlfriend. He knew it hurt you, but at the same time, part of what the media had to say about you was true. The first season he had spent with you by his side, the internet was already raging about how you weren‘t the typical WAG, and how they thought seeing you next to someone like a Kelly Piquet, you did seem a little weird. Lando didn’t want to be confronted with these opinions anymore, so instead of standing up for you, he decided to ‘hide‘ you. To not put you in the center of attention after a race to hug and kiss you, to just let you stand there and wait until you were inside where no one could see you. He also avoided reading anything the internet had to say about you, so the fact that his plan had only made you gain more and more hate, went unnoticed. Just like your complaints when he didn’t want to be seen with you after races at parties or even in a restaurant for dinner with Charles and Alexandra. Of course they had invited the both of you, and not only him. Lando came up with an excuse so he the paparazzi wouldn’t see you. The rumor that Lando and you have broken up after he was seen at dinner alone didn‘t seem to bother him either, but it did you. He thought you liked it this way, as he thought, without any hate comments about your looks or the way you’d dress compared to the others. He thought you appreciated not having to dress up for parties or the countless hangouts with his friends. He thought you cried that night after he was out for dinner because you cooked for him and he just went out, not that you cried because you felt not good enough for him to want you to come with him.

He really was stupid enough to think you were happy with all of this.

And while he was happy to be able to finally spend his summer break with you and only you, it all came crashing down when you were back in your shared apartment. Tears were forming in his eyes while yours were already streaming down your face as you yelled at him, telling him every yet so small detail that left your heart crushed and broken while he was busy „hiding you“, or as he explained it to you, „protecting you.“ this wasn’t protection, this was blatant ignorance. And finally in this relationship, you did something for yourself. You left.

Maybe it was miscommunication, or him refusing to communicate at all. But that didn‘t matter now, ‘cause now, it was over. No more kisses, no more cuddles and no more meeting friends or families. But most importantly, no more crying, no more sleepless nights, no more unappreciated support, no more hiding.

❝ I waited and waited ❞

Finally at home, your family had expected to see you with Lando by your side, and they were so very excited to finally be able to meet the guy their lovely daughter was head over heels for, using every chance she had to gush over him and how unbelievably proud she was of him. So when you stood there with puffy eyes and all your luggage placed next to you, they knew the tears you cried weren’t happy tears from finally behind home again. They were tears from saying goodbye to the life you were ready to spend with your boyfriend, who was now on the other side of the world.

You knew it was stupid, but you couldn‘t help waiting for him to reach out to you again. A call or a message, hell, you hoped he was as miserable without you as you were without him so that maybe Max or even Oscar had to contact you again. Despite all the times he had hurt you, you missed him so dearly.

But after months and months of waiting, you decided that there was no use in waiting. It’s over, and its for the better, it has to be.

It was gonna be hard seeing him again, once the summer break is over. Even if the love between Lando and you ended, your love for Formula 1 didn’t, and you weren’t about to give that up just for the sake of not having to see him. You‘d be in the stands or in front of the TV, he‘d be in his car or in front of the camera. No point in worrying. But still, the first few races, you watched curled up next to your best friend and your parents from home. It was so nice to finally be able to see everyone again, everyone you had to miss all these months you were away. Your dad and you used to always watch races together, and you were more than grateful to finally be able to do exactly that again.

❝ Man am I the greatest? God, I hate it, all my love and patience – Unappreciated. You said your heart was jaded, you couldn’t even break it, I shouldn’t have to say it … ❞

His instagram and twitter definitely make it seem like your broken heart doesn’t match his perfectly fine one. He seemed happier than ever, having fun with his friends at parties and driving around different towns with different girls. Seeing him was draining, but how were you supposed to never hear about him again when the entire internet was screaming his name? You wanted your life to finally feel easier now, but it seemed to only get harder.

You felt you lost your soulmate, while he only lost his greatest burden.

It wasn’t until you watched the first race after the summer break with your dad that it all came flooding back to you. Lando crossed the finish line first, and as the camera switched to show him get out of his car and rip off his helmet to kiss his new girlfriend that looked weirdly similar to you, surrounded by loud cheers, clapping and ecstatic, smiling faces, you realize that maybe, he really didn’t love you. And that he didn’t *want* to kiss you after his races, because it seems that if he had wanted to, he would’ve.

At the same time, even while standing on the highest step of that podium, Lando couldn‘t help but think about you, how stupid he was to treat you like a piece of shit when all you wanted was to be there for him after races like this one and most importantly, why the hell no girl he‘s been with after your breakup felt even remotely close to you. You were the greatest thing he‘d ever had, no trophy, no price would ever compare, and he managed to take it all for granted.

If he had just put in a little more effort, really, you could’ve been the greatest .

[rpftourney]

Best RPF Ship - Round 2 Match 21

Propaganda under cut

Bojere propaganda

BoJere Propaganda:

I truly don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll give the high-level overview:

Two Eurovision contestants from 2023. Jere is from Finland, Bojan is from Slovenia. Two countries that never had any prior reason to really interact. I am certainly going to miss things, because there is simply too much, but they met at the Madrid pre-party and this is where their ESC journey began.

ESC:

Bojan skipped an interview with his band to go on a livestreamed lunch date with Jere in Liverpool. They reenacted Jack lifting up Rose on the Titanic on a boat party. Jere also proposes to Bojan with snus (chewing tobacco).

Sitting next to one another on a bus of contestants and Jere calling Bojan his boyfriend, per the Justin Bieber song of course, which then Bojan began to sing. Jere also joked that they’re sharing one hotel room, one bed, one cup of tea. In another clip somewhere else, Jere also called Bojan his puppy while Bojan fed him a piece of candy.

During the Nordic night of ESC, where usually other competitors aren’t typically given access, Bojan and some other Joker Out guys sneak in to watch Jere perform.

For some reason they also have a baby seal together in the Austria zoo.

When asked about his friendship with Jere, Bojan said that he’s glad he can be there for Jere because with all the attention and pressure that Jere was getting, and he wanted to be someone who Jere can hang out with to help take the pressure and his mind off things.

During the 2nd semi-final, Jere watched Joker Out perform and had an IG story tagging JO, but writing just “Bojan <3” He also sent Bojan a voice memo after that was dripping with affection about how happy he was that they all made it to the final.

After Jere placed 2nd, Bojan was right there to comfort him. He surprised Jere by wearing Jere’s iconic green bolero and chanting Cha Cha Cha at him, hyping him up. Bojan also ended up ditching his own band and partying all night with the Finnish delegation—even losing his phone and missing his flight the next morning.

Post-ESC 2023:

Bojan visited Jere in Finland and performed as a special guest at one of his concerts. They also hung out, got drunk as hell and chanted Cha Cha Cha at like 4AM in a parking lot together, and Bojan stayed at Jere’s place where on their last night together, they watched Twilight. Oh, Bojan also gets on his knees on stage so Jere can ride his back during a part of the song and makes a very questionable expression on his face. “My Heart Will Go On” is played in an instagram story when Bojan leaves for the airport.

Joker Out does a Nordic tour in the Fall of 2023 which, of course, includes Finland. They hit up several cities and Jere accompanies them in their Finland tour bus. He and Bojan are insufferable with their inside joke of “ARE YOU!?” at one another. Jere also performs as a special guest in their Finland shows where he AND Bojan sing Cha Cha Cha TOGETHER. They also hold an IG Live with Jere and Joker Out where Bojan makes Jere guess the meaning of the Serbian word “ljubav” which… means Love.

Bojan’s dirty underwear was left at Jere’s. We know this because Jere makes an IG story roasting him about it. This means that, at some point before leaving Helsinki, Bojan stayed with Jere while the rest of the band stayed at a hotel.

Oh also Bojan calls Jere the nickname “Jerć” now.

Joker Out is pretty much adopted by the Finnish as their son-in-laws. Joker Out’s song, Carpe Diem, has only gone gold in Finland.

We find out also Jere was supposed to go visit Bojan when Joker Out were in London for a little bit writing music, but he wasn’t able to make it.

2024:

Joker Out visits Finland again in March. They all go bowling together, but footage is mainly of Bojan and Jere being fools. They recreate the snus (chewing tobacco) proposal. Jere also goes to their Estonia concert as a guest.

For some reason on Jere’s setlist, there are sometimes pictures of Bojan in the corner.

Joker Out is, once again, in Finland for Ruisrock music festival in July. It’s short, but the Bojere shenanigans still happen. (Can you tell I am getting tired and I haven’t even scratched the surface.) During Joker Out’s concert, Jere is standing off to the side of the stage watching. Bojan, FOR REASONS WE DO NOT KNOW, decides to randomly run off to the side during an instrumental break of a song, HUG JERE, and then run back on stage.

Bojan teases in an interview at a different festival that “someone is coming to visit Slovenia” at some point and that he and Jere “talk a Lot on the phone.”

They are now alone in Cyprus, just Bojan and Jere, on a resort vacation. Together. They’re hanging out by the pool. Doing karaoke. There was a flaming heart on the ground. The only purpose of this vacation is to truly, genuinely, hang out together it seems.

For those interested in seeing the actual insanity on a more in-depth level, here is a 2 hour YouTube video of their journey through the beginning to the end of August 2024: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoPWTs1-DmQ

VirtueMoir propaganda

[ittybittyfanblog]

Error 404: (Self-Aware!AU, Sylus Edition) – Pt. 2

Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus and a–less–oblivious player. That’s it, that’s the plot. A/N: Ok, I’ve decided to make this by series, so this one’s just going to be purely Sylus. I hope nobody minds the specific names/places/etc. I wanted to create a personality for the “player” and add a bit of backstory work (loosely based on yours truly lol) for the sake of storytelling, but there won't be any distinct description of the player’s physical appearance <3 Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, self-aware!au, suggestive language, bouts of delusion

Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3

Riiiiing– RiiiNGGGGG––

“Huh… whazat—?” 

A shrill – earsplitting, headache-inducing, completely fucking loud – noise wakes you up rather rudely from your peaceful slumber at… Jesus Christ, what time is it? 

You blink your bleary eyes open, once… twice–fuck, all you know that it’s too goddamn early for all this ruckus. Groaning, you clumsily try to find the source of the unexpected wake-up call – quite literally in this case. 

Your hand bumps the vibrating phone straight off the edge of the mattress – along with the charger cord still attached to it – and you cuss up a storm when you hear it clatter on the hardwood floor.

The ringing finally stops, and you’re perfectly content to just leave it there and fall back to sleep when, not even ten seconds later, the blasted thing rings back to life, taunting you awake. 

Angrily, you wrestle against the threadbare blanket wrapped around your body like a warm cocoon, pushing yourself out of bed with all the rage of a sleep-deprived insomniac who’s been up til the buttcrack of dawn to grab your—huh, relatively intact—phone off the ground, while the charger cable swings haphazardly from the weight of the power brick on its tail end.  

Without checking the caller, you swipe right to answer. “What?” 

“Don’t use that tone on me, young lady,” Your mother grouses on the other end of the line. “It’s almost noon! Did you just wake up?” 

Barely five hours of sleep. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you shut your eyes and sigh. “No, mom. Sorry, just had a late night,” you clear your throat in an attempt to sound more composed. “What’s up?” 

“Oh, dear. Is it because of work again?” Something akin to sympathy replaces the sternness in her voice, and you dread the all-too-familiar spiel that comes next. “You know, honey, there’s a job opening for a– what was it again? I have to double check, but it’s where your Auntie Helen works. You know your Auntie Helen—” 

“Mom,” you interrupt, before she could go off on a tangent. “Work is fine, don’t worry. Why d’you call?” 

“Should I need a reason to call my only daughter who's living by her lonesome, a country away from—” 

“Mom!” 

“Oh, alright,” she finally relents, sounding slightly exasperated. “Were you able to book me and Jodie the roundtrip flight to Orlando? Your cousin’s wedding is barely a month away and I want all the documents ready by now, sweetie.” 

Shit. “Ah— yeah. I’ll email you the flight itinerary in a bit, I’m just–” you catch sight of your protruding hamper, innocuous but an eyesore nonetheless, right by the doorway of your humble studio unit. “I mean, I just left the condo. To do errands and stuff. I’ll send the details to you when I get back home, okay?” 

“Okay, honey,” she sighs. “You stay safe outside now. Don’t talk to strangers.” 

“I am a perfectly responsible adult—” The call disconnects. “Hello? Great.” 

You rub away the remnants of sleep from your eyes, fully aware that your day’s already started, despite your reluctance. Might as well get a head start on today’s agenda.

First thing’s first– brunch. Oh, it’s almost one. Lunch, then. I could maybe grab a hotdog from the corner store before heading to Landers. Oh wait, your laundry– gotta pass by the laundromat downstairs, too. Ugh, c’mon, chop-chop. 

Just as you’re about to stand up from your supine position on the floor, another ping! pulls your attention back to your phone. 

“Mom, I swear–” 

Ah, you’re finally awake. You’ve had a very long night, kitten. Take it easy for the day – make sure to get enough rest between errands.

I’ll know if you don’t.  

Your heart skips a beat.

Oh! Um. That’s… new. 

… Apparently another one on the growing list of “new features” from the latest update. It doesn't sound like an invitation for you to open the game, strangely enough. It's not a call to action to claim your daily stamina, nor a prompt for you to check your Galaxy Explorer rewards. 

It’s nothing more than a greeting, really. Just one that’s particularly targeted at you, with unnerving accuracy.

You recall the weird (?) events from last night, and the now-erratic beating of your heart suddenly picks up a notch. From the unexpected dialogues to the outrageous amount of dias you’ve somehow ended up with—something you still think is some kind of glitch in the system—you can’t shake the feeling that you’re living out the plot of a Black Mirror episode, as fucking dumb as that sounds. 

Not to mention during Quality Time, Sylus_v2.0 (as you so lovingly dub this version of him in your mind) had been acting more aware of you.

And you’re not talking about the pre-programmed glances that you usually get. No– it’s like he actually hears you. 

He doesn’t say anything. But whenever you make a comment, or utter something under your breath, he reacts with a huff or a hum–depending on the context. If it’s a slew of expletives aimed at your boss, the reaction you’re met with is one of amusement. A snort; sometimes a quiet laugh, if you’re lucky. When you say something self-deprecating, however, it elicits the heavier sighs, the sharp clicks of the tongue. 

At one point, you heard him make a low sound of dissent, something close to a... growl, almost, after making a casual joke about being just another cog in the machine and how offing yourself wouldn’t really matter in the grand scheme of late capitalism. As you oft do. 

Your eyes met, and for a split second, it felt like you weren’t looking at just pixels. His gaze weighed heavy on you–almost accusatory. 

It made you feel… naked, somehow. Perceived. 

You recall how quickly you averted your eyes from his, face flushing hotly from a feeling you couldn’t put into words. 

Bone-tired from last night’s (morning) overtime, you didn’t have the time to look up the news on this recent version update – although you really don’t remember any notifications in-game – so you quickly Google, “sylus acting sentient in rcent update loveamd Deepspace???” on your phone browser.

You scroll down for a bit, but none of the search results yield any relevancy, nor are they in any way similar to your current… predicament. 

(Okay, so calling it a predicament is a little unfair. You’re not exactly complaining about anything per se. No complaints from you. At all.)

Deciding that you’d do a deeper dive on Twitter (X) at a later time instead – probably tonight when you do your daily login – you briefly press the side button to lock your phone… not without a final peek at the banner notification from Sylus. 

You press your lips together in an effort to hold back the stupid giggle bubbling in your throat. 

Unfortunately, all the self-control in the world can’t help you and your need to have the last word – girl, from what even – so you ask aloud, to no one except the person you've deluded yourself into thinking is a valid recipient of your one-sided conversation: 

“... Yeah? And what if I don’t?” 

You’re not really waiting for a response (or were you?), but the nervous flutter in your stomach betrays the impatience you're trying to mask with casual indifference. It’s small, unassuming– but there. 

Impatient for what, exactly, you’re not sure. But maybe, just maybe—

Feeling a bit braver now, are we? How bold. Care to say that to my face, sweetheart?

Oh. 

Oh.

An inhuman noise escapes your throat, embarrassingly loud, almost a keen, and you fumble with the device in your hand; the new banner notification still in full view—taunting you. 

You don’t know what to think, you don’t know how to feel. You–

Spring up, like an agitated jack-in-a-box, and the sudden rush of blood in your head leaves you dizzy. You’re a molotov cocktail of emotions; one more bombshell dropped on you and you might just blow. 

“I’m– later, okay? Uh,” Whew, girl, keep it together. “I need–I need to go.” You almost stumble as you speed walk towards the bathroom.

-

-

-

If you didn’t switch your phone to silent, didn’t make the conscious effort to ignore any incoming messages, notifications, and whatever else, in a rush to get dressed and go about your day as if it's just like any other weekend–nope, nothing unusual here–you would’ve seen one last cheeky reply:

Of course, sweetie. You take care now. 

Don’t talk to strangers. X

Endnote: This one's pretty short, but I’m world-building, trust. 

Thanks for reading! 

[bet-on-me-13]

Desperate Villain Danny AU

(this is a 17 yr old danny)

It started out slowly.

First, a few of Danny's less active Rouges stopped showing up at all. He didn't really notice, and just assumed that they had finally had their Fill of their Obsession for a while and would simmer down for a bit.

Then, some more of his Rouges stopped showing up. No big deal, but he is getting a little concerned for them. They had definitely not had their fill of their Obsessions yet, why did they stop?

Then, the worst started happen. All of his actual Ghost Friends start to disappear. Ember, Kitty, Johnny, even Amorpho, they all start to not show up at all in the Living World.

He goes looking for them in Realms, but he can't find any of them whatsoever. He tries asking around, but everybody else noticed the disappearances much earlier than him and began to hide away from whatever was taking all of the strong Ghosts. He can't find anybody, and the ones he does find won't tell him anything (or don't know themselves)

It takes weeks of searching, but eventually he gets his answer.

The GIW show up in Amity again after a period of absolutely no activity. They have stepped up their operations HARD. Advanced Ghost Hunting Equipment, Much more Competent Agents, and most worrying of all, they seem to know that Phantom is friends with Sam, Tucker, and Danny Fenton.

The GIW comes to his house for a Meeting with his parents, where he overhears them offering his parents a position in their Organization as Head Scientists. While there they also manage to plant Bugs in Danny's room somehow. Although he finds them quickly enough and destroys them.

And then, one night during dinner while his parents are ranting about the GIWs Labs, they mention something that cinches it for Danny.

"And today we even got to Dissect one of the Spooks! It was that Mind Controlly one, you know the one with the blue firey hair stuff that sang a bunch! We're going back tomorrow to continue our Study, this time we'll see how long it'll pretend to experience pain before it decides to give up on tricking us!"

That night, Danny packed up all his things, destroyed the Ghost Portal alongside everything else in his parents Lab, and left his house.

He tracked down the GIW Base, saved Ember from her Cell, and decimated the surrounding Area. No survivors, none of the research is preserved, and he left the Site Director alive to question him.

Turns out, the GIW had managed to Reverse Engineer the Ghost Portal from that brief period of time where they had taken control of Fenton Works. They had been using their own Portal to kidnap any Ghost they could get their hands on. Using the research from those subjects, they perfected their Ghost Hunting Tech and started going after the bigger fish.

"But good luck finding it, Ecto Scum! The Portals location was hidden to everybody, even me!" He said.

"Where are the others!" Danny cried. He was losing control of his appearance by this point. After seeing what they had done to Ember, he was too angry to maintain his Humanoid Form successfully. Even now, with most of his control, he could hear the Static in the air around him, and see the Glitching of his hands as they clenched this Monsters clothes.

"Scattered!" He said with a crazed laugh, "We knew we couldn't contain all of them, so we send them to all of our sites across the Country! You'll never find them!"

Without another word, Danny plowed his arm through the man's chest.

He turned around, picking up Embers weakened Body, before beginning his long flight to Wisconsin. Vlad still owed him a few Favors after all, and honestly his mentorship offers seemed VERY Tempting right now.

(Why reject him if you don't care about keeping your dad alive anymore?)

...

The JLA had recently received a distress signal from somewhere in the middle of some random Forest in Illinois, but when they got to the location, all they found was a crater filled with the ruins of some kind of Military Base, and so so many Bodies.

They had managed to figure out that this was a Government Site owned by an organization called the GIW. A Paranormal Investigation Wing of the Government focused on the study and capture of Supernatural Beings called Ecto-Entities, otherwise referred to as Ghosts.

As it turns out, an Ecto-Entity that had been terrorizing the local town for a few years now had made a drastic change in normal behavior and had attacked the GIW Base that had been posted there.

They would have destroyed it years ago, but this one was unnaturally powerful. It had eluded their capture and terrorized the Town for years, but they had too much pride to contact the JLA and admit that they needed help. And honestly until now, they didn't really need it. The Entity had been entirely confined to the singular town, and had not strayed from that behavioral Pattern in the 3 years since it's inital sighting. They had made the difficult choice to leave it there, sacrificing one town in exchange for the rest of the country.

But now they did need their help. This Entity, this Phantom, was one of the most powerful beings that had ever recorded, maybe even The Most Powerful. The fact that it had left the Secluded town it usually frequented meant that it was loose to wreak havoc across the rest of the world.

The JLA Needed to Find this thing, and Fast.

[soupuurr]

𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑𝑏𝑦𝑒 - matthew sturniolo

pairing. softdom!matt x sub!reader

genre. angst, smut

⟶ content warnings. explicit content, angst (no happy ending), oral, unprotected sex, creampie. MDNI

⟶ summary. you once thought that you and matt were destined to be together, so leaving to pursue your dreams didn't concern you. because you would always find each other in the end, right?

⟶ note: i suggest listening to white ferrari while reading this. (or any other sad song if frank ocean is not your vibe) enjoy my pooks, i nearly cried way too many times writing this.

never say goodbye pt. 2

your heart raced as you reread the illuminated words—once, twice, three times.

you couldn't believe it. the job opportunity you've dreamed of since childhood was right there, displayed on the bright screen in front of you.

for a instant, it felt like time stood still, the world around you fading into a blur as your attention fixated solely on the computer screen.

this was it. every ounce of effort, every sleepless night, and every midnight coffee run had led to this one, singular moment.

"you did it!" your boyfriend shrieked beside you, shaking your shoulders to snap you out of your trance.

matt pulled you into a hug, his comforting cologne engulfing your senses as you melted into his embrace. tears of happiness welled in your eyes while he tenderly cradled the back of your head in his hand.

“i’m so proud of you, baby.” he whispered before pressing his lips against the top of your head—drawing you infinitely close to him.

both of you stood at your kitchen island, intertwined intimately like the moon and the stars as your bodies bathed in the comforting glow of the hanging lights.

matt knew how much this meant to you, frequently bringing food and keeping you company in your studio as you diligently updated your portfolio. and he knew you deserved it more than anyone else.

“i love you so much, matt.” you sniffled into his chest. matt gently withdrew to gaze into your eyes, his own glimmering with pride.

“let’s go celebrate, yeah?” his bright blue orbs flicked between yours. you smiled, nodding as matt’s thumb gingerly brushed away your tears.

matt turned over his shoulder, linking his arm with yours while unhooking his keys from the carabiner dangling from his belt loop.

you nestled your head against him, humming in contentment before giving his bicep a tight squeeze.

“ow kid, you’re gonna rip my arm off.” he giggled, playfully nudging you with his shoulder.

your footsteps echoed beneath the moonlit sky as matt swung open the van door, gesturing for you to enter.

you knew exactly where matt was going to take you—your special lookout, tucked away behind the trees and reserved for the two of you.

and so you sat in the wilderness, bickering like an old couple and playfully tossing fries at each other as you just talked. about life, about your future family, and everything in between.

a tiny pang tugged at the back of your mind, knowing that you’d have to leave this life behind for now. but it’ll all work out right?

you set aside the thought; all that mattered now was spending time with the people you loved.

you cherished every second you spent in this tiny town, not allowing any of the time to slip through your fingers. there was never a single moment of worry because you knew that matt would always have your back.

it would all work out just how you planned.

it didn’t strike you until you held one another the night before your flight, crying in each others arms while the soft pitter-patter of the rain drummed against matt’s car.

it was too good to be true.

matt would inevitably have to leave for LA with his brothers to pursue his youtube career, while you were destined to move to the other side of the country. you were both going to be occupied with your own lives, and that's simply how it was meant to be.

you both decided it was best to call it off that night.

“you know i’ll always love you.” matt mumbled into your ear, voice breaking as he gently stroked your hair.

you sobbed against him, clutching his hoodie tightly between your fingertips as if he might vanish into thin air. matt shushed you while his fingers tenderly brushed under your jaw.

he lifted your chin, gazing into your eyes with a mix of sadness and guilt. he promised to be there for you no matter what, and now he was leaving this behind.

“you’re so beautiful.” he whispered—warm breath caressing your pink lips. matt furrowed his eyebrows, thickly swallowing before gently pressing his lips against yours. an innocent kiss that he wanted to savor.

you melted into his touch as he pulled you onto his lap. he hooked his arms around you while you cupped his cheek, deepening the kiss. your lips, wet with tears, danced beautifully together.

matt led you to the back seat and pushed you against the cushion as he kneeled between your thighs. his fingers slipped under your shirt—lingering at your hips before snaking up your waist and past the valley of your breasts. he made sure to kiss every inch of your body as he rid you of your clothes.

once you were bare, matt couldn’t help but gasp—heart thumping against his chest as he admired your naked body basked in the moonlight. it felt like the first time he ever saw you.

he placed a kiss on your knee before trailing his lips to where you needed him the most. his teeth nipped at the skin of your inner thigh, blue eyes never leaving yours.

your hands flew to his brunet hair as he pressed his tongue against your folds, burying his nose in your clit. your legs wrapped around his head as soon as he began worshiping your glistening pussy with open mouthed kisses. you trapped him between your thighs but he didn’t care, this was about you.

you felt yourself inching closer to the edge with every twist of his tongue, tears of sadness now replaced with tears of utter pleasure.

“i’m gonna cum!” you strained, matt hummed in approval while your back arched off of the plush cushion beneath you. he poked his tongue past your folds and you finally released, thighs shaking around his head.

“we’ll find each other when the time is right.” matt cooed. he stood on his knees as he unbuckled his belt, letting his jeans pool below him. he leaned over to place a kiss on your forehead.

“just promise to never say goodbye, matt.” you whimpered, legs closing around his waist. matt nodded and pressed his forehead onto yours as he freed his cock from his boxers—gliding his tip along your pussy.

he pushed his cock into your heat, relishing in the way your walls wrapped so nicely around him. god—you were just perfect in every way.

matt desired this moment to be etched into his memory, the way tiny whimpers fell past your soft lips, the way your beautiful pussy clenched around him, the way you were boundlessly intertwined together, all of it.

his thrusts were slow and gentle, you could feel every ridge and vein of his cock pressing against you. you brought your fingers to his, locking them together as you held his eyes.

with one final kiss, you came together—matt’s cum filling you while you helplessly quivered around him.

he fell limp on top of you. a few more tears slipping down his cheeks as he held you tight.

you never saw him after you left. it was painful at first, but you eventually grew accustomed to it. his texts and calls dwindled day by day until he eventually stopped texting you altogether.

but now you were happy, engaged to someone you truly love. yet, sometimes you couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if you had forsaken your dreams and chased matt instead. would you still be together? as much as you hated to admit it, that question gnawed at your brain almost every day.

“look at these! they go perfectly with the color scheme.” your friend gawked at the flashy jewelry in front of her.

as your wedding approached, your schedule grew increasingly hectic, leaving you with barely any time to yourself. you were out in LA, constantly shopping or planning and it was more than exhausting.

you studied the shimmering necklace briefly before shaking your head.

“i don’t know, it’s kind of-“

you paused abruptly, blood running cold as your eyes fixated on a pair of painfully familiar ones.

he stood at a distance, his mouth agape and body frozen in place. he looked different now, his brown wavy hair stopped short just above his eyes, dressed in a button-up flannel that hugged his shoulders over plain blue jeans.

you glanced at the girl clutched to his side, then at the diamond ring on her finger.

a surge of past hurt, anger, and pain washed over you like a tidal wave, bringing unwanted tears to your eyes. you quickly blinked them away, mustering a bitter smile at the couple before turning around.

to this day, you vividly remember the exact words he said to you before you boarded your flight.

“i promise to never say goodbye.”

what a lie that was.

[deadhands69]

Something More [than each other]

Katsuki Bakugo x gn reader

MDNI

Setting: fuckboy!Bakugo, mid-time skip, Senior Year of College. Reader did not attend UA high, just joined for university. Enemies to lovers (with a lot in between.)

Warnings, etc: smut, angst!!!, light violence/injuries, drinking/intoxication, vomiting, swearing.

[sorry, you’re a mess in this one - i'll make it up in the next one, i promise!]

part 1  -  part 2  -  part 3  -  part 4 -  part 5  -  part 6  -  this is part 7 - part 8

“[y/n]”

“[y/n]”

“[y/n]”

Your name in his voice haunted your dreams and followed you through the day well after you’d woken-up. Such a small thing to mean so much. Maybe you’re overthinking it, you have to be. People say things they don't mean to during sex all the time. Especially when they've had a bit to drink.

It's not like that though, this is different.

Katsuki Bakugo had never used your real name before, opting to call you ‘Backfire’ based on your quirk or some other rude nickname he came up with on the spot. If he hadn't added it to the top of a project the two of you submitted together, you could have assumed he didn't even know your full name. Even after sleeping with him for a month you still weren’t on a first name basis.

That is, until last night.

The memory is etched into your mind. Living rent free, playing on repeat.

“[y/n],” he moaned in your ear moments before whimpering into your neck as he finished. His face lingered on your shoulder, soft lips grazing your skin while he panted to catch his breath. Typically, he moved quickly. One of you being out the door of the other's room within five minutes. Last night he took his time, arms wrapped around you even after you'd both recovered. Eventually, he kissed the back of your neck, cleaned himself up a bit, and left - forgetting his hoodie on your bed.

(Like someone who is normal and totally not obsessed,) you've picked apart every detail of the night for signs of meaning. It all comes back to your name. Over and over and over again.

Nothing else exists. 

Of course, you want to ask someone for advice but you haven't told anyone yet. When you tried to, it felt too personal. Also, with your friends reminiscing about their cute dates it felt weird asking them to decipher the significance of your friend with benefit’s moans. A friend they'd known since high school. Too awkward. 

You couldn't even talk to Bakugo for a reaction, because he left this morning. His part time side-kick job requires him to travel sometimes. He'll be in another country the whole week and you don't think he even has cell service. It's just you now. You, here alone in your room with his voice stuck in your head. 

You want to text him every time you're thinking of him, but don't want him to be overwhelmed when his flight lands and the messages come flooding in. 

This is a totally normal way to feel about a friend you tell yourself while laying face down, clutching his sweatshirt in the bed he fucked you in last night. 

A week later, and you still can't get him out of your head. Your closest friends have been keeping an eye on you more than usual, although they don't know the whole story. Being the only people (as far as you know) who know about your "situation" with him, they both assume you're distant this week because of his absence.

If only they knew.

In any case, Jiro and Mina are heading to a party tonight and you decide to tag along. It'll be good to get out for a bit. Quickly throwing on something cute, you don't make too much of an effort because Bakugo only just returned so he's likely jet lagged and going to bed early. You saw him out your window a bit earlier, looking tired and pretty roughed up. Tomorrow you'll reach out. For now, let him rest for the night. He needs it.

In the lobby, you meet up with your friends before leaving. Kiri texted Mina that Bakugo would be there as well. Your heart jumps more than you'd like to admit at that. The three of you almost wait for them but Kaminari wants to make a beer stop on the way so you agree you'll see them all there shortly. Everyone seems to be preparing to go harder than most nights.

There will be no crazy partying for you though.

Professor Aizawa was nice enough to offer to train with you in the morning, making space in his busy schedule. You’ve been struggling with expanding the reach of your quirk and mentioned it to him in passing. Much to your surprise, he’d offered to help. In spite of what Katsuki Bakugo believes, you absolutely do not have a crush on your teacher but he’s been your favorite hero since you were a little kid and you can’t pass the opportunity.

Speaking of Bakugo, you see Sero and Kaminari. Where is he?

This house is massive. You begin wandering around the party in search of a tall blonde, he should stand out. The living room is dimly lit but you finally spot his messy hair. And he's-

Suddenly, you wish you hadn't seen him. In a dark corner, he's letting himself be pressed into the wall by a random girl you'd never seen before. His hand on her shoulder, staring down into her eyes making that awful lovesick face.

Fuck.  

Being stabbed in the heart might have felt better. You stumble out the door of the house, the contents of your stomach begging to escape. A quick visit to the bushes gains the attention of a very worried Jiro, but you're determined to get out of there. You can explain it to her later (considering how hesitant she still is of your situation, she'll completely understand.)

Carelessly, you slam straight into Shinso. His purple gaze looking you over to make sure you’re okay. There’s some unspoken communication between him and your friend before he decides to get you home safely. You know you’re completely sober but by the way you’re behaving, eyes glazed over and stumbling, no one else does. Nor would they believe it if you pressed the issue. You don’t fuss about it, simply following him on autopilot.

You’re not here though, your brain is a million miles away being forcefully wrenched from some universe where you and Bakugo had any chance together.

He’s not yours, you know that.

He’s not anyone’s. He doesn’t do that sort of thing.

You know it was just physical. Just for fun.

You know it shouldn’t be a big deal.

You know. 

You know. 

You know.

Then why does this hurt so bad?

Shinso grabs your wrist, helping you narrowly avoid tripping over a curb. Still, you can’t be bothered to pay attention to your surroundings.

Your heart hurts. You just want to be home in bed, but even that doesn't sound comfortable. Nothing and nowhere will make you feel better. And what's worse, you let this happen. You shouldn't have spent the last week daydreaming about someone you should have known doesn't care about you like that.

You told him you wanted more fun in your life and, feeling guilty, he gave you that. What was it he said at the beginning of the term, that you needed to get laid but no one pitied you enough to? Then he had reason to feel bad and proceeded to sleep with you. Maybe you should have listened to him when he told you who he was. Let's face it: you chose the wrong person to care for.

The boy with his hand around your arm is so fucking nice, why can’t you just like him?

Or anyone else? Or better yet, no one?

Before you know it, you’re sobbing. Concern creeps over the violet haired boy’s face, having been prepared to keep you safe physically, not knowing to expect this. He brings his face level with yours and asks if you’re okay. You don’t respond.

Because you’re not okay. 

You want your life to go back to when you were happy just being alone. Before you knew what it was like to be close to Katsuki Bakugo. Before you let him get too close.

[sorry this one is so short! it made the most sense to end this part here. i won't leave you hanging too long though - part 8 will be up very soon. it's the final part, switching between Bakugo’s perspective and yours]

part 8 m.list

Taglist: @anonymity-222 @k1tk4tkatsuki @arsonfrogger @dragonscribble @kalulakunundrum

@screaming-dough @rikislove @gold24fish @ita606 @arc6021

@pikachuzhc @jeanbabygirl @nemisimp

[gguk-n]

In Another Life (Max Verstappen x Reader)

Summary- Max just lost the love of his life, the woman he wanted to marry and the woman who was carrying his child. What happens when he transports to a place where she might exist? Does he finally get his happily ever after?

Warning- Angst, Major character death

{Max's POV}

My world came crashing down after that fateful call I received. I was in Qatar for the race weekend; my fiance Y/N didn't join me because she had been feeling unwell. I had just gotten off of the podium when a member of the RedBull team brought my phone. It was an unknown caller; I answered the call to "Is this Mr. Max Verstappen?" the voice asked. "yes" I replied, my heart started to beat a little louder and faster then it did after races. "I'm calling from the Princess Grace Hospital. You are Miss Y/N Y/L/N's emergency contact." they continued. "yes" I replied, a bad feeling making it's way to the pit of my stomach. "Is she ok? What happened? Why is she at the hospital and why are you calling me?" I rambled almost racing to the driver's room to change and leave. "We're sorry to inform you but Miss Y/L/N is no more" they said remorsefully. "What?" I stammered. "We tried our best but the collision was catastrophic. I'm sorry for your loss." they said. I stood still, in the middle of the paddock. My legs felt numb, "You're lying. She can't be dead" I screamed catching everyone's attention. People started to whisper, "Do something, you have to save her. You're doctors for fucks sake. Bring my girlfriend back. NOW" I bellowed. "I'm coming, I'm out of the country right now, but I want my girlfriend well and healthy by the time I'm there" I said finally gaining the feeling in my legs and ended the call.

Carlos, Charles, Lando and Checo were now standing next to me. "Everything OK?" Charles asked. I laughed, "It was the hospital, they were spewing nonsense that Y/N is dead. I spoke to her before the race. She was on the way back from the hospital. They say she's dead, haha. What a load of bull?" I said. All of their faces had dropped, Charles had moved forward to pat my back and Carlos wrapped me in a hug. "It's okay" Carlos muttered. "NO, NO. She can't be gone. We were gonna get married and have kids and not make them race car drivers since the sport gave her anxiety. Carlos this can't be true" I cried; my resolve breaking while Carlos hugged me tighter holding me up and patting my back. The flight back to Monaco was a blur, I don't remember how I got to the hospital, I don't remember filling out any forms, I don't remember her dad hugging me as they showed Y/N's lifeless body to me. What I remember is her face and it had a few scratches, her hands bruised, she looked peacefully asleep. I reached forward holding her hand in mine, "How could you leave me? You know how much I hate this world. You're the only thing that made it worth living for." I cried. The doctors entered the room and handed me the stuff she was carrying, "Here are her belongings. I'm very sorry for your loss, sir." he said handing me her stuff and a hospital file. I opened up the file to find an ultrasound scan and a report saying that she was pregnant. I fell down on the floor, "We were going to have a kid" I whispered which her father heard; I heard a wail leave his lips.

We buried her in a cemetery in her home town surrounded by flowers and greenery. I spent too much time there; I missed a few races too. But I was back before the final races; I didn't win a single race after her death. But when I stood on top of the podium as the World Driver's Champion of 2023, I didn't celebrate. How could I when the person who celebrated my every win was no where to be seen. I flew back to meet her after the race. As I was sat at her grave; "I won the championship for the third time. It didn't feel it though. You should've been there. I know I know, you must be angry since I missed 3 races and lost the last two. But you told me that the points were enough for me to win; so I won for us and our little one. How are you two? Both of you must be in heaven if there is a heaven. I wish I could say that I hope we meet but I don't think I'll make it heaven ever. I hope our child is happy. I love you lifde. You took a part of me when you left" I whispered, placing the bouquet of roses; a tradition I started after winning my first championship.

After the funeral, I was given Y/N's phone and messages were open; there was an unsent message. "Baby, I know you're racing rn, hope you win like always. btw, I went to the doctor and guess what? I'm pregnant. We're gonna have a mini Max soon. I know you'll be the best dad ever. I love you" it read. My tears didn't stop. I was robbed of a future I always dreamt of with her. That asshole drove while drunk, why did he deserve to live, why did he deserve to wake up every morning but the love of my life didn't? Why did he get to go back home when I couldn't even bring my girlfriend and kid back home? I hope he rots, I hope when I meet him he doesn't get to walk away from me for stealing the best thing that ever was mine.

The off season was torture, I spent my time laying in bed while my friends and family came over to make sure I ate and showered. They tried to get me to clean the house but I had left it untouched since the day she left. I wasn't ready to let her go just yet. Her parents would come in occasionally to check up on me. Her dad was currently sat at our table while I ate the food her mom made, "Max, you need to move on. Y/N must be suffering, watching you like this." he said. "I hope she is, she doesn't get to leave and expect me to be normal" I spoke. "Max, we love you. You are my son; I can't watch you like this. Y/N would want you to move on and live with the happy memories you two made." he said. "I know, I just need time" I mumbled while tears streamed down my face. He gave me a hug and then left. I wasn't ready, I don't think I'll ever be ready.

I didn't attend the pre season training until Horner dragged me. We spent some time but I couldn't focus. I was supposed to fly out to Bahrain in a week for the first race of the season. I don't remember when I fell asleep but I woke up to a much cleaner apartment. It pissed me off, so I called Lando who answered in a few seconds. "Who the fuck cleaned my apartment? I told you I would do it at my pace" I screamed. "Mate, no one entered your house. I don't know what you're talking about" he replied. "Don't fuck with me. Where's all of Y/N's stuff. It's missing" I said. "Who's Y/N?" he asked. "Don't fuck with me Lando. You know who Y/N is" I cried. "Max, I really don't. Was it the girl you took home the other day?" he questioned. I was annoyed and cut the call.

After some searching and the whole house being devoid of any sign of Y/N I decided to call her but my phone didn't have her contact. I flew to where her grave was which was missing. Everything was strange, I don't know why but I googled myself. That's when I saw it, my ex's name wasn't Y/N and she didn't die in a car crash. With time I realised that I was in an alternate universe where we had never met. A world where I didn't know Y/N existed was the worst kind but it gave me hope that maybe Y/N was alive in this universe. Maybe, I was here to meet her, to have the chance that was robbed from me. I spent my time racing, making sure I won every race so that incase she watched Formula One she knew about me. I would explore each city in hopes of running into her.

It was during Silverstone weekend when I went to the cafe the day after the race. It was very early so there weren't many people around. I walked into the cafe when I heard it, the voice that brought a smile to my face, there she stood. My Y/N, at the counter ordering her coffee, Iced Spanish Latte she said, her favourite. I smiled at her before walking towards the counter. I ordered and went to stand next to her while I waited for the order. She turned towards and smiled nervously, "You're Max Verstappen, right?" she asked. I nodded. "Oh my God, I'm a huge fan. Sorry to bother you but can I get a picture with you?" she asked. I agreed and we ended up taking a picture and talking after grabbing our drinks. She looked the same, her hair flowed down her back, her face had those moles I loved to kiss, her bright smile and infectious laughter. She was an avid Formula One fan from what I got. I offered her tickets to the next race which she denied politely. She got up to bid me farewell, "Will you go out with me?" I blurted, I hoped that she would say yes. "I'm sorry Max, but I have a boyfriend" she mumbled apologetically. I nodded, "It's ok. I'm sorry about this" I muttered. "No, no, I'm sorry for giving the wrong impression. I'll get going. Thanks for the picture and autograph though" she said while she walked away from my life for the second time.

A couple races later, I saw her again. This time at the paddock, I greeted her as she entered wearing Ferrari paddock passes. I eyed the card on her neck before she said that she was here with her boyfriend. I nodded along and watched her walk towards the Ferrari hospitality. It was media day and we were supposed to go get interviewed when she walked in with Carlos. He introduced her to us as his girlfriend. My heart shattered as I watched her peck his lips. She was kind, loving and understanding like she always was. I couldn't watch Carlos have what was once mine. In this universe, she never was mine. It hurt to watch her laugh at his jokes or kiss him or hug him. It hurt so much to watch her be in love with a man that wasn't me. I couldn't help but look at her longingly, there was a sort of pain in my eyes that only she caught it seems. Because she asked to speak to me as soon as I had come to the paddock on race day. I took her to my driver's room where we sat down.

"What's up Max? You look at me like a puppy that's been kicked. You look at me like I have hurt you beyond repair" she asked. I breathed out, "What if I told you I wasn't from this universe?" I asked. "I would say you're crazy" she said. "But I was, I was from a time line where I was gonna marry the love of my life, the woman that made life worth living. The universe where I wasn't only winning on track but also in real life because of her. We'd been together for 5 years and were planning a life together. I had proposed and she couldn't join me for my Qatar race last year because she was sick, I wish she had. Then then..... It was because she was carrying our child, she had gone to the doctor and found out but she was never able to tell me in person, I found out later. Then I get a call from the hospital saying that some asshole killed her in a drunk driving accident when she was returning home. I fly back to find her lifeless body. I haven't gotten over her yet, I missed races and performed poorly. But what could I do when I lost my life. Then one day I wake up here, a universe where we've never met and I spend all my time looking for her and then I find her at a cafe. We talk, she's a fan" she looked at me expectantly with tears in her eyes,"I'm sorry" she mumbled. "I ask her out but she has a boyfriend. Then we meet at the race and every time I see her my heart breaks watching them because that was me. She looked just like you, sounded just like you, was just like you with the same name." I cried, finally breaking down. She wrapped her arms around me as my body shook while sobs ripped through my chest.

"Max, if alternate universes are real and you are from another and lost the love of your life that looked exactly like me. I'm sorry. But I know, that she...I mean me from that universe wouldn't want you to mope. She would want you to move on. She would look down at you and make sure you were safe during every race, She would hope that you found half the happiness you gave her. She would want you to be yourself and not let this affect you. I can't tell you to move on now, but I can tell you to take your time. She wants you to always be happy. Please, take care of yourself. Be happy. Remember her but move on for her sake if not yours" she said all the while hugging me. I cried for a very long time and she embraced me until I let her go. She wiped away my tears and had me drink water. We walked out while I went to race and she went to Ferrari.

I won the race and headed back home after the weekend. When I went to sleep, I woke up back in my apartment. How did I know it was mine and not the other universe is because there was a paper next to the table that read, "I'm sorry for your loss. I cleaned up the space a bit but there are pictures of the whole house as it was before with all her memories in a couple boxes in the closet. I went to her grave with her dad too. I got her flowers. I hope you can move on. P.S We're leading the championship, hope you didn't throw mine away" I laughed after reading the note. Like it said, all the stuff was in the cupboard and there were pictures. I smiled at the boxes, I guess Y/N was the one who intervened because she knew I needed this. I walked out to the balcony and looked up at the sky before saying, "I'll live better. I'll make you proud, just you watch and then I'll come to you whenever you want me too"

[imaginesig]

Paris 2024

Paul Aron x Olympian!Reader

SMAU

y/c = your country

What is your journey like to gold? I'm in love with Ilona Maher and wanted to make another Paul Aron fic, this is the outcome

ynln

liked by annaaron_, paularon_, ilonamaher, and 829,382 others

ynln: Paris, here I come 🏅🏉

tagged: y/c_rugby

ynln good time to say im in love with @/ilonamaher ??

ilonamaher perfect time! cant wait to see ya soon

ynln "miss rabbit has fainted, miss rabbit has fainted again"

paularon_ 🤨🤨

friend1 the first pic??😭

ynln reenactment of me when I found out 😭 I was in disbelief

paularon_ you're gonna kill it!! Bring home gold, I love you ❤️

ynln I love you too!!

friend2 yes ma'am 👏

lettiemng so exciting!!

olliebearman big accomplishment

aronralf congrats! Show em what you're made of

annaaron_ find me a hot Olympian

ynln ill be scouting 🫡

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paularon_

liked by user3, ynln, aronralf, and 818,828 others

paularon_ off week ☀️🌊

Tagged: aronralf, annaaron_, ynln

ynln so much fun 🫶🫶

annaaron_ let this trip live on as it’s the first time team women beat you in EVERYTHING

ynln 📢📢📢

Paularon_ because you guys CHEATED

aronralf 📢📢📢

Ynln don’t copy me while spreading lies

User1 not the Aaron + Y/n vacay

user2 y/n looks gorgeous

user3 the sibling pic is the cutest ever

User4 I can’t decide who I’m jealous of Y/n or Paul

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ynln

liked by user3, annaaron_, user82, and 791,929 others

ynln: ootd 👙🤿

tagged: annaaron_, paularon_, aronralf

used1 omg what are you reading??

ynln in that pic “Fathers and Sons”

annaaron_ early morning surf sesh >>>>

ynln without the boys >>>>

Paularon_ looking good 😘

user2 stop she can surf too??

user3 it’s so unfair

user4 right?? Y/n leave some talent for the rest of us!!

Teammate1 calm before the storm

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ynln posted 4 stories!

captions: (1) on Wednesdays we wear pink (2) 🎶: As It Was by Harry Styles

captions: (1) midday flight? no problem just go on a running date early! (2) back to reality 🏉

ynln

liked by teammate1, teammate2, user43, and 892,929 others

ynln: hearing up 🔥🏅👩‍🏭

Tagged: y/c_rugby

paularon_ damnnnnnn 🍑

ynln thank you 🤭🤭 (I will make fun of you for this comment for the rest of your life)

teammate1 are those my workout shorts??

ynln …no

user1 ok leg day

user2 she said thick thighs save lives

user3 she can save me

user4 I need the leg day routine

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paularon_

liked by ynln, user33, hitechgp, and 917,828 others

paularon_: not the result we wanted, but we'll learn and come back stronger

Tagged: no one

Ynln still so proud!! You raced hard and had an amazing quali session. I’m sorry I had to miss it but I love you ❤️❤️

Paularon_ ❤️

User1 miss girl is leaving for the Olympics tomorrow and says sorry for not being at his race

user2 gold metal for the best gf

user3 Pole Aron will be back!!

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ynln

liked by ilonamaher, y/c_rugby, annaaron_, and 872,928 others

ynln: a hot new bombshell has entered the Villa

tagged no one

ilonamaher show em what they can’t have‼️

ynln show em what a catch you are‼️

paularon_ MY hot bombshell but get it ig

ynln you’re the only connection I’m looking for dw

teammate1 that last 2 picsreally screams sexy

Ynln ikr 😏😍

Teammate2 irresistible

annaaron_ remember to mention the bombshell at home

ynln I’d never forget

user1 I love the inside Love Island joke it seems most athletes are in on

user2 right I live for Ilona’s tik toks

user3 I hope we get Y/n cameos

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ynln

liked by teammate1, teammate5, teammate8, and 719,992 others

ynln: bronze bound…

tagged y/c_rugby

Teammate …but we’re not stopping there

ynln HELL YEA

Paularon_ I’ve been on the edge of my seat all week

ynln it’s not stopping til the very end

user1 the ft screenshot is too cute

user2 such hardworking ladies

user3 push on to gold!!

user4 I just love women

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paularon_ posted a story

caption: 🇪🇪🔜🇫🇷 @/aronralf @/annaaron_

replies:

ynln

Paul Aron

what are you doing

where are you going

Smh

I thought you knew your flags

I do

I guess what I want is an explanation

well... you'll be in a semifinals soon and with the way stats are looking you guys will fly right through no problem so...

so???

the aron family is making a trip to Paris

we're celebrating a metal either way

I'm crying Paul

thats too sweet

you guys shouldn't have, its hard enough to wrangle everyone together you shouldn't have used that time to fly out

trust me we all want to be there for you and it'll be a nice trip reguardless

plus we all hate that this much of the games have gone by through a tv screen

I love you guys, I love you

we (but mostly I) love you too

aronralf posted a story!

caption: ✈️🥖 @/paularon_ @/annaaron_

replies:

ynln

this is insane

ive taken you've already messaged Paul

yes and it ended in tears

you guys are crazy

true, but your bf is the craziest

with or without us Paul was gonna be in those stands

someone must be cutting onions in a room nearby

sap

I don't appreciate the attitude 🙄

annaaron_ posted a story!

caption: catching flights not feelings @/aronralf @/paularon_

replies:

ynln

first off LOVE that color on you

and second I loath you guys for being this sweet

the sweatshirt is yours to borrow anytime

and as if you wouldn't do the same thing

flying out on a small hope we dont choke and lose next round??

Y/n, you go to as many races of Paul's as you possible can (at your own expense) and watch the ones you cant live no matter the time, you constantly ask Ralf about his endeavors and keeps tabs on stats and such to bring up with him later, AND you listen to all my rants no matter how important and remember the details

flying out to France is nothing compared to the effort you put into this family

I love you guys so much

we love you too

now get some rest to kick ass, I didn't fly in the same row as my brothers for 4 hours to see you get less than gold

💖

💖

ynln

liked by y/c_rugby, aronralf, user4, and 728,829 others

ynln: finals bound!! Im so so grateful for these fantastic ladies who have taught me so much!! I cant taste victory already

tagged: y/c_rugby, teammate1, teammate2, teammate3

paularon_ smashed it 💪👏

ynln light work🥱🥱

teammate1 can’t wait for the next match

Teammate2 coffee for good luck?

Ynln always

user1 I’m never more patriotic than when the women of my country play

user2 my whole family has been captivated by you girls

annaaron_ and you were scared about choking

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paularon_ posted 2 stories!

Caption: (1) Y/n you are so amazing in so many different ways. You are hardworking, talented, humble, funny, and beautiful. I've watched as your eyes light up when it comes to rugby and ive watched as you poured your heart into every minute you play. (2) No one deserves the gold more than you and the rest of the team. Every single women out there has what it takes and more. Every one of you have spent countless hours dreaming and working towards this. So congratulations on how far you've come, and best of lucking taking that final step up to the top of the podium! P.S. Ma armastan sind, Y/n

replies

ynln

paul

you cant just post things like this with no warning

I started crying right before media stuff

oops 😬🤷‍♂️

dont be so smug

but seriously thank you for all the support! Without it I know I would've lost it because of the pressure long ago, I truly owe so much of what got me here to you!! I love you so much ❤️

I love you too ❤️

olliebearman

please pass on a good luck from me and Estelle! We've been watching

will do!!

dinobeganovic

rooting for her💪

tell Y/n she's got fans in all corners of the globe

thank you, she appreciates the support!

annaron_

liked by ynln, user32, paularon_, and 193,929 others

annaaron_: meet me in Paris 🥐☕️

tagged aronralf, paularon_

ynln gorgeous gorgeous girl

annaaron_ we’re gonna have so much fun once the Olympics are over

paularon_ photo credit??

annnaaron_ you gave it to yourself

user1 you ate that first pic up

used2 so you’re telling me the entire Aron family is in Paris for Y/n??

user3 I’m in love with all the siblings at this point

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olympic_updates

liked by user3, user82, user92, and 993,929 others

olimpic_updates: Y/C rugby star Y/n L/n's boyfriend as been spotted in person for the final match! Aron was also spotted with the rest of his family heading toward the stands!

tagged no one

user1 couple goals

user2 THE power couple

user3 I need Y/n to win gold and Paul to win the championship

used4 the ultimate power move

user5 I just looked at my boyfriend and sighed

user6 he looks so good!!

user7 one thing about Paul is he’s gonna show up and show 👏 up👏

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paularon_ posted 2 stories!

captions: (1) game time @/annaaron_ (2) THESE GIRLS ARE GOLD MEDALISTS!!!!

ynln posted a story!

caption: its been a long time coming but...

ynln

liked by dinobeganovic, lettiemng, paularon_, and 983,239 others

ynln: So many words, so little space. I am so grateful of everyone who have supported me up to this point, of these wonderful ladies who have taught me something new everyday, and to Y/C for taking a chance on me! Same thing in '28?

tagged y/c_rugby

paularon_ ❤️❤️

ynln ❤️❤️

annaaron_ thats my sister in law!!

ynln we're not married??

annaaron_ well is Paul doesn't put a ring on it than I will

lettiemng I love you!! Its so deserved

dinobeganovic you were amazing!! All the love

ynln DINOOOOOOO 🥹🫶

aronralf truely inspiring! Congrats 💪🥇

ynln thank you!!!

user1 YES MA'AM

user2 me and my little sister have seen screaming at the tv!!

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paularon_

liked by user1, user43, ynln, and 823,983

paularon_: I AM SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! After seeing the mass amount of time and every you've put into rugby I have no doubt in my mind that you deserve this. To mark this special occasion, I'm announcing my retirement from racing to become a full time WAG. I love you so much, Y/n 🥇🏉❤️

tagged ynln

ynln I love you so much ❤️

paularon_ I love you too ❤️

user5 second pic is goals

user1 theyre such goals

user2 my standards were raised so high by him

user3 when they panned over to him celebrating after showing Y/n 😭

user4 such a gorgeous couple

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Bonus- after the olympics

ynln

liked by aronralf, lettiemng, user43, and 829,392 others

ynln: city of love 💖

tagged paularon_, annaaron_

comments have been disabled

[misguidedasgardian]

Wild Cats (part I)

MASTERLIST

I. Roof cats

Summary: You had been alone for a while, until you came across the most unusual group 

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader (slowburn) OCC

Warnings: Zombie apocalypse AU, living dead, zombies, guts, blood, guns, injures, cannibalism, cursing, slowburn

+18, MINORS DNI

Notes: Readers it's on her twenties, this will start after the fall of the prison, when everyone is on their own, separately 

It was some sort of miracle that you managed to stay alive this long

You didn't know if it was because of your instincts, mistrust in general, knowledge of the undead because of comics, video games and movies or… whatever. 

It was sort of miraculous

When it hit, you were at an airport, trying to get back home, but all the flights became grounded, and the end of the world began. You ran, with a group of people, the most sensitive ones that didn’t want to go back to the city, to Atlanta, you got stuck in a highway, your group began to collapse.

You are not gonna talk about what you felt the first time you saw one.

This is not that sort of story. World had went to shit almost a year ago

You started to feel like you were blessed but cursed at the same time, every time you joined a group, something happened, everything went to shit, they started fighting, they started killing one another, or they got overrun, you never lasted long with any of them. You bailed before things got really ugly.

It was good to be on your own, sometimes, although you haven't had a decent night’s sleep in a while, a long while

You had a technique, you moved early in the morning as soon as you had visibility, half a day, found sleep on the roof of any house or structure after noon, to be awake all night, because the night was all more dangerous. You had to stay alert

You started moving, away from Atlanta, North, with no plan, you guessed, that in this country that wasn’t your own, the safest place could be Washington DC. The capital, were the president and most important people were, you guessed is there was a stronghold of humanity in this country, that might be it… so you started moving, with a map you scavenged from somewhere 

But it was slow, you couldn’t find a working car and when you could, they were low on gas.

You found a couple of houses in the middle of nowhere, they were packed with things and supplies, and you were relieved, so you grabbed a quick snack, and then went up the stairs, always on guard, but the house was empty, and quiet, and then from a window on a child’s room, you climbed onto the roof, you were so tired.

The roof was steep, but you already knew a couple of techniques not to roll and fall off, fortunately, there was a tree that covered you from the sun, so you cuddled hugging yourself, putting your backpack as a pillow, your ax on your hand and a gun in a holster 

You were lulled to sleep quickly, as you couldn’t hear any roamers, only a soft wind.

But you came quickly to yourself again once you heard the click of the safety of a gun near your face. You jumped, instinct polished by more than a year in the damn apocalypse, you only had to tighten your hand, your ax already there, and the other went to your holster. When you managed to lean up to face the intruder, you came face to face with a boy, who shouldn't be older than twelve

You were not going to shoot a kid, and he seemed indecisive, and not violent even though he was pointing a gun at your face

“Don’t shoot me please”, you said calmly, releasing your gun and letting it slide a bit down the roof, until you couldn’t reach it, you raised your hand until they were far enough from the ax. 

The boy seemed to relax his stance

“Are you alone?”, he asked severely, you nodded

“Are you?”, you asked him, he shook his head, “oh”, oh shit was more like it, were you in danger? he seemed like a serial killer in the making, “look I… don’t want any trouble, I just came across this house, I was sleeping a bit, I just want to… keep moving, alright?”, he stopped pointing his gun at you, “I can drop my weapons to the grass below, you can go and then…”, he put his gun back on his hollister, and came out to the roof with a big can of pudding under his arm

“Oh”, you laughed, “you found it”, you said lightly, he smiled, you showed him your own stash, you had found some candy bars

“I’m Carl”, he said, taking a seat near you, opening the can.

“(y/n)”, you answered back, he started eating it, unapologetically. He seemed so relaxed now, but just a few seconds ago he was pointing a gun at you. 

“Are you a nurse?”, he asked, “or a doctor?”, you shook your head

“No”, you whispered, “are you sick? I have paracetamol”, you offered with the pain of your heart, you almost got killed obtaining it, but he was a kid, and you wanted to think that there were still “codes” in place. 

“No”, he mumbled, “it’s my dad”

“What’s wrong?”, you asked back

“He collapsed, he is tired but… he is not waking up”

“Oh”, you muttered, not offering anything helpful, “It’s just the two of you?”, you asked him, but he frowned when he looked at you, thinking you did not have good intentions

“We were a big group, we got split up”, he mumbled, “after a group attacked our camp, we were hold up in a  prison”

“Really?”, you asked, “that’s smart actually, a place to keep people in, and out”, you mumbled

“Yeah, but we got overrun”, he whispered

“Oh”, you said back

“Do you want to come with us?”, he asked, you looked back at him.

Yes the rest of the groups you had joined had not worked out, but you had been alone for four weeks now, and you were getting pretty tired, and lonely, almost going insane, you had to sing in a low voice to yourself to hear something, a voice even if it was your own

“Are there… more kids?”, you asked, doubting it, “is this like a Peter Pan and the lost boys situation?”, he laughed

“No, it’s my dad, and Michonne, two adults”, you hesitated

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s been tiring being alone”, you admitted, “I would like to hang out with people for a while”, you tried to smile softly at him, and he smiled back. He straightened his posture, and got all serious

“How many walkers have you killed?”, your raised an eyebrow

“Walkers?”, you asked

“Those things”, he clarified, “the undead”

“I call em’ fuckers”, you said with a smile, he laughed, “Don’t know, many, a lot like, I hope a hundred by now”, you said happily and proudly, he nodded

“How many people?”, he asked then

“One”, you whispered

“Why?”, he asked, he wasn’t asking randomly, he knew what questions to ask and why

“He tried to steal from me”, you said truthfully, “something I needed to survive”, he seemed to nod

“What’s in your pack is yours, but what we find from now on, we share with the group, is that cool?”, he asked, you smiled and nodded, “let’s go”, he said.

You both sneaked back into the house, it felt nice to let the decision making go to somebody else, even if that person was a kid 

You came inside the house, and arranged to search the different rooms. You had barely turned your back when Carl opened the door and a walker? came out aggressively. Carl jumped towards the door to try to close it, but the monster was already half out. You grabbed your ax from your belt and smashed the roamer’s head in. He felt limply into the room.

“Thank you”, he muttered. You barely nodded

“I think this was the only one”, you both nodded and kept searching.

You found a flashlight and batteries! you already had one, but it was always useful. You also found some toiletries, which were not a priority, but again, always useful

You searched another house nearby, this kid… was amazing, he seemed to know what he was doing, a bit hesitant, but still. 

Then, we returned to the house, and there, covering the door with a huge sofa, rested a man. He looked a bit wild, thick unruly beard and curls, he must have been on his forties or so. He looked… tough, if anything

“That’s your dad?”, you asked

“Yeah, he is Rick, Rick Grimes”, he muttered

You placed what you scavenged on the coffee table. 

“It's a nice loot”, you admired, he smiled at you

“That’s a cool ax”, he admired

“Thank you! went I first got stranded trying to leave atlante we just happened to stop by a Bass Pro Shop”, you giggled. It was one of those you could throw, with a carbon fiber black handle.

You heard steps on the porch and you raised from the seat you had taken in one of the single sofas of the house, standing on guard. Carl as well stood up, but signaled you to stay calm

“It’s MIchonne”, he mumbled, and a woman entered the house

She was a badass, you knew the second you saw her, long hair in dreadlocks, leather tight vest, and a freakin’ katana hanging from her back

But as soon as she saw you she tried to grab the handle 

“Carl!”, she called

“No!”, he said quickly, placing himself between you both

“Who’s that?”, the little discussion woke up RIck, who, when he saw you, he grabbed his big ass gun he had on his holster

“Dang it!”, you said raising your hand as he pointed the gun at you

“Dad! stop!”, said Carl, with his back turned to you 

“Who are you?”, he asked 

“(y/n)”, you said back quickly, showing him your hands

“Dad is fine”, insisted Carl, “I asked her the questions”, you smiled apologetically

“Are you alone?”, he asked severely

“Yes, I swear”, you muttered

“I haven’t encountered anyone”, muttered Michonne, seconding your words 

You looked at both Michonne and Rick

“Look, I’m alone”, you said quickly, “I have been for a while, a month or so, I’m tired I would really like some company”, you begged, “if not, please, just let me leave, you will never see me again, I swear I want no trouble, for me this is the living VS the dead, I swear”, you said hastily 

“How many walkers have you killed?”, he asked, again. 

“I’d like to think I’m reaching triple digits, but I can’t be sure”, you said in all honesty, still with your hands leveled with your head. He frowned when he looked at you, “I try to drop them all, because, one less human-eating corpse walking around, right?”, you asked, he shared looks with his son, and then nodded. Carl walked until he could see your face, he nodded at you, encouraging you

“How many people have you killed?”, he asked then. You swallowed, hard

“Intentionally? one”, you whined, “but I accidentally pushed something that fell on top of someone and…”

“Why?”, he asked

“We were trying to leave that warehouse and a door just…”

“The one”, he clarified. Your eyes filled with tears

“I was trying to leave the thick of Atlanta, and… he was with me in the safehouse when it collapsed, we ended up wanting… there was only one car and…”, you choked, you still couldn’t sleep some nights, “he had a gun on me and I had a gun on him, I fired first”, you managed to let out, “I like to tell myself that he was a bad person, he certainly sounded like, I… also like to think it was him or me, he was a bit of an asshole…”, he lowered his gun

“I’m guessing you don’t have a camp”, he said slowly, lowering his gun, you shook your head

“I sleep on a lot of roofs”, you muttered, “mainly in the daylight… there is where Carl found me, I keep moving… from house to house, and…”

“Why? Why are you alone?”, you seemed to think the answer

“I’d like to think of myself like someone who is a good people reader”, you said slowly, “I tried to join some groups, but they all collapsed pretty quickly, I… gathered things by myself and I usually scattered before things got ugly”

“Where’s your family?”, he asked, now these questions seemed random

“I was alone in the airport hoping to catch a flight home, when it hit”, you muttered, “my family is on the other side of the continent”, you admitted.

“Are those your weapons?”, you had your ax, and you had a gun which you could find a silencer for, you had been very lucky. You nodded, “are you a good shot?”, you nodded again

“Decent”, you said, “I have been able to take him out with one shot”, you said proudly. They seem to relax, “we found pudding”, you offered with a smile, “I have paracetamol”

. . .

Even if the beginning was a bit… gun-sy, you made peace with Michonne and Rick, and now you felt at a disadvantage because they knew some things about you, but you didn’t know much about them except that Carl was Rick’s son, and Michonne was not related but they knew each other pretty well.

So, as it was night as you had opened some cans of spaghetti, you gathered the courage to speak to them. 

“Carl told me about a prison…”, you started the conversation, they both looked at you with serious faces

“We had built a camp on a prison”, she said, “We were a big group, but we got attacked by another group”, Michonne said, “We all got split when the prison was overrun by walkers and the governor’s people”

“He came with a tank!”, said Carl, and you looked at him surprised

“A tank? really?”, you asked, truly surprised, “Do you have some sort of meeting point?”, you asked, and they looked at each other

“No”, said Rick

“Do you intend to find them?”, you asked

“Yes”, said Michonne

“Great”, you said hopefully, “I hope we do”, you said truthfully. They shared entertained looks 

You consider yourself to be a good people reader, and them? they seem fine to you, though as hell, but good. You felt good, safe, they knew what they were doing, as did you. 

Even though they made you sleep while they kept watch, you managed, to finally, have a good night's sleep. You could understand why they were weary of you, you did, they wouldn’t let you out of their sight, and they didn’t let you protect them at night, but still, you understood, so you did what you normally would have done, and you showed them you could be trusted, leaving your weapons around when you were in the house and trying not to eye them too much even though you were curious. 

You believed they accepted you because they could see you could handle yourself in this fucked up world. And you found yourself wanting to prove yourself to them.

The very next day, they left you on your own to keep scouting the surrounding area, Carl and Michonne left on their side, you guessed they kept testing you.

You had your pack and arms with you, and you did as you always did, you guessed if it was a trap to get rid of you, at least they didn’t rob you or killed you, but Rick had stayed in the house to rest, apparently he had a couple of very rough days and needed it.

You met with Michonne and Carl back again on your way back, you were happy, you found a first aid kit, to replenish your own, and then some, and then you found some cans of mushrooms, those were your favorites, if only you could find some mostaccioli and cream, but that was too much to ask.

You missed pasta

But when the house was in your sights, Rick came running out, signaling you to do the same, there was people in the house, you turned around and started running, being thankful you had carried all your things with you.

“What happened?”, Michonne asked as you were running away from the house

“A group of men, several, entered the house”, he told you as you ran. And you did not ask more questions, being thankful that they accepted you.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

i just read your sae fic and it was absolutely amazing, gorgeous, life-changjng! and when i went on to check your masterlist for bllk, i was shocked when you were the one who wrote the nagi x reader x kira fic bc I've been following it for a while and then i immediately tapped the follow button :x but if you can (only when you have the time and energy), can you write rin whose family is a host for exchange student! reader from another country? it could be hs or college, depending on whichever you're comfortable with. thank you <33

── CHERRY TREE

Synopsis: You are one hundred percent convinced that Rin Itoshi hates you — and he does, but not exactly in the way you think.

Event Masterlist

Pairing: Rin x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 6.2k

Content Warnings: cheesy and cliched asf, otoya and KARASU <3 make brief appearances, rin is rude ngl but reader is as well, rin does not know what a “crush” is, he’s probably ooc as well atp i should just include that on all of my works jic

A/N: i can’t believe i started bllk because of a rin edit and yet i’ve never written for him…also i’m glad you liked seabird and peregrine anon!! thank you for following 💖 sorry it took me a min to respond to this

Additional: part of my 500 follower event! see the event description and rules to make a request of your own.

If you didn’t know that your parents would probably put you in an early grave for wasting their money, you would’ve caught the next flight back home from Japan in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, you were far too afraid of their ire, which meant you were stuck in this hostile environment until the end of the semester — assuming, of course, that you managed to survive for so long.

Over the summer, applying to your university’s special first-semester-abroad program had seemed like a good idea. You were already going to be traveling far from home to stay on campus regardless, so your reasoning was that you might as well experience a different culture while you were at it. Besides, the program claimed to pair participants with a host family that would be good fits for their personalities and needs — based on a survey, which in hindsight you really should’ve lied on — so you would be living in relative comfort, at least compared to the ancient dorms on the main campus that probably had thirty different species of mold growing on their walls.

Or, well, that had been the plan. Maybe it was even a reality for the rest of the people in the program, who had no doubt been placed in normal homes, with normal people, who had normal children and normal lives. For you, though, it could not be further from the truth — because you had had the great misfortune of being chosen to live in the same house as Rin Itoshi for the duration of your stay in Japan.

To put it simply, he hated you. He had started hating you from the moment you stepped foot into his house and put your things in his brother’s old room, and he had not stopped since. If you happened to cross paths with him, he’d scoff at you, and considering the fact that the two of you lived in the same house, this was a frequent occurrence. Whenever you tried speaking to him in Japanese, he’d wrinkle his nose and respond in English, telling you that you were so terrible at the language, you might as well give up now and move back to your country early. Once, his mother had suggested he take you to hang out with his friends, as you were all roughly the same age, and he had rolled his eyes so hard that it was a surprise they didn’t get stuck in the back of his head.

There was no doubt about it: your mere existence was a burden to Rin. You couldn’t explain it in any other way; after all, how could he have decided he disliked you before you had even spoken? So you did your best to be as helpful and kind as possible, keeping the house neat, cooking food whenever the elder Itoshis had to work late, staying silent if he happened to enter the same room as you, and offering nothing but slight smiles if you were forced into an interaction with him.

“You know,” Mrs. Itoshi began one day, as you were eating the dinner she had made for all of you. Rin was on your right, and Mr. Itoshi was across from him, his jovial face such a contrast to his son’s dour look. “Rin’s on the Japanese soccer team.”

“Wow,” you said noncommittally. You hadn’t known that; you had assumed that Rin’s hobbies involved throwing stones at unsuspecting children and tripping old ladies as they crossed the street. Soccer had been the last thing you expected, though it did explain his admittedly splendid physique. “Very impressive.”

“Not really,” Rin said. 

“Why don’t you take her to watch your practice over the weekend?” Mrs. Itoshi pressed. 

“She’s not interested,” Rin said. Of course, you really weren’t — why would you want to watch Rin and his friends kick around a ball for a few hours? It would be a waste of time, time that you could spend working on homework or clearing your ‘to-be-read’ list. But you also weren’t fond of people speaking for you, especially not him. He was the last person who could claim to know anything about you, so by what right could he say that you weren’t interested?

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind going,” you said, batting your eyelashes at him innocently when he glared at you out of the corner of his eye, his expression one of utter disgust and incredulity.

“There you have it! Be sure to introduce her to your teammates. I’m sure they would love to show her around,” Mrs. Itoshi said. Rin snorted.

“Oh, I’m sure they would,” he said, though when he did, it sounded different than what Mrs. Itoshi had surely meant. But you were obviously the only one who picked up on it, and you didn’t want to make dinner unpleasant, so you could only ponder what he might’ve meant in your head instead of asking him outright, as you really wanted to.

Although it was the weekend, Rin’s practice was early in the morning, before the day could really heat up and make exercising unbearable. That meant it was before even the sun’s rise that you were following after him, your books clutched in your arms as you waited at the bus stop.

“Why’re you bringing all of that?” he said when the awkward silence grew to be too much for either of you to bear.

“I’m planning on getting some homework done while I’m there,” you said.

“Why didn’t you just stay home if you wanted to do homework?” he said as the bus pulled to a stop in front of you and the doors flew open. Due to the early hour, there was almost no one else on the bus, but given your unfamiliarity with the route, you still followed after Rin, sitting across the aisle from him and putting your things on the seat beside you.

“I dunno,” you said. “I guess I wanted to meet your teammates. Since they would just love to show me around.”

“Stay away from them,” he said. “They’re a bunch of NPCs. All of them are probably the worst people you could ask to show you anywhere.”

“NPCs?” you said. “That’s pretty harsh to say about your own peers.”

“It’s not like we’re friends or anything,” he muttered, crossing his arms petulantly. “I’ll call them what I want.”

“Sure, whatever you say,” you said, massaging circles into your forehead to ward off your impending migraine. Rin raised his eyebrows.

“Got a headache?” he said, in that same clinical, detached voice he always used.

“Yeah,” you said. And you’re making it worse. You wanted to add that, but you thought it probably wouldn’t be prudent, so you kept your mouth shut.

“Don’t stay up so late on your phone, then,” he said. 

“It’s the only time I can call my friends and family. They’re in a different time zone,” you explained before pausing. Why did you feel the need to justify yourself? It wasn’t like Rin particularly cared either way. He was just giving you that advice because he wanted to boss you around and be rude to you. It was a symptom of dislike, not worry.

You had imagined Rin to be an obsessively punctual person, but to your surprise, it seemed like you both were actually some of the later ones to show up. Perhaps the rest of the team was even more concerned with earliness than him, or maybe you had somehow caused him to be later than he typically was, but either way, by the time you walked onto the field, the others had already gathered, chatting amongst themselves while they waited for their coach to arrive and start the practice.

“There he is! We were beginning to think the world might’ve ended,” a boy with dark, styled hair and a beauty mark beneath his left eye said with a grin. “Nothing less could get you to miss practice, eh, Rin?”

“It still might have,” another boy said. His pale hair was streaked through with green, and he wore an inviting smirk as he pointed at you. “Yo, girl. What kind of blackmail does he have on you? Blink twice if you need help. We’ll get you out of there.”

“Um, he’s not blackmailing me or anything…” you said, glancing at Rin for aid before remembering that he would probably rather jump off of a cliff, backwards and into the jaws of a dozen waiting sharks, than help you out.

“So you’re hanging out with him willingly?” the pale-haired boy said. “Yikes. You can do much better.”

“I kind of have to hang out with him,” you said. “I’m staying with his family for the semester.”

“Oh, you’re the exchange student!” a third boy, this one with icy blue hair and wide, pretty eyes said. “We’ve heard a lot—”

“All of you, be quiet and leave her alone,” Rin said, finally, thankfully speaking up. “Otoya, don’t even look at her, or I’ll make sure you’re benched for the rest of the season.”

The pale-haired boy — Otoya? — held his hands up in the air and whistled innocently, shooting you a wink when Rin turned to address the rest of his team. You raised your eyebrows but suppressed your giggle, not wanting to condemn him to further rebuke from Rin.

“This is Y/N L/N. She’s the exchange student my family is hosting. She wanted to come watch our practice because…actually, I don’t really know why,” Rin said shortly. “But she’s just going to be doing homework on the bench, so if any of you were planning on showing off to impress her, then you can give up on that idea now.”

Otoya noticeably wilted at this, but the others didn’t seem to mind. The first boy, the one with the beauty mark and the strange hairstyle, gave Rin a thumbs up.

“Don’t worry, Rin, we’ll leave the showing off to you. It’s about time you—”

“Shut up!”

They must’ve begun practicing at some point, but you hardly took notice, too busy typing up the outline for an essay you had due in a couple of weeks to care much about what they were doing. Occasionally, someone would shout out a particularly creative insult, and you would have to pause your work to identify the trash talker in order to be able to congratulate them later, but for the most part, you were lost in your own world.

“Hey.” Just the sound of Rin’s cool voice was enough to send shivers of fear down your spine, and you hastily closed your laptop as you looked up at him. “Practice is over.”

“Okay,” you said. “Will you introduce your teammates to me now? I know you told them who I was, but I’d like to at least meet some people my own age.”

“Nope,” he said. “Let’s go.”

“Hold on, I only even came because I wanted to meet them!” you said. “Outside of school, you’re the only one I know. I get that you don’t want me infiltrating your friend group or whatever, but you literally said you don’t like these guys, so why’s it a problem if I become friends with them?”

“They’re so dull and half-baked that your opinion of this country will actually fall if you interact with them further,” he said. “This is just my national pride talking. Come on.”

You stomped after him. What was his problem? He didn’t want to be nice to you, but he also didn’t want anyone else to, either. Was he that determined to make you miserable? Why couldn’t you have been placed in a family with children who weren’t so weird and annoying? Which question had you answered incorrectly on the survey that had resulted in your match-up with the Itoshis? You wished you could retake that stupid quiz and end up somewhere else. You wished that Rin had been the one sent to Spain instead of his older brother, who was certainly more well-adjusted. You wished that you hadn’t chosen to study abroad at all, that you had instead stayed at home with your friends and had a typical first semester like everyone else.

After that day, you stopped even pretending to be polite to Rin. Both of you were cold, hissing insults whenever you passed in the hallways of the home, leaving the room if the other happened to enter, and generally doing what you could to make each other’s lives difficult. It was only in front of Rin’s parents that you maintained some semblance of civility; after all, making Mr. and Mrs. Itoshi choose sides in your silent war would be unethical and wrong.

“I really don’t get it,” you said to your best friend one night, the covers pulled up over your head, your phone screen dimmed so that you were not blinded by its light. “He’s such a jerk, and for what?”

“Boys suck,” she said, hunched over a calculus problem set. The time difference meant that sun streamed in through her window as she wrote, illuminating the shining graphite of her neatly penciled answers. “Did his teammates mention anything suspicious the one time you met them? They’d probably know better than you or I why he’s acting the way he is. Maybe this is just how he is with everyone — if that’s the case, then you can be reassured that it’s not something you’re doing wrong.”

“Not really,” you said. “He forbade all of them from talking to me. Which, by the way, is a real tragedy, because some of them were super cute.”

“Really?” she said.

“Want descriptions?” you said.

“As much as I would like to say yes, I need to focus on this problem set, and anyways, it’ll just make me jealous, so no,” she said.

“Jealous? Let’s trade places, because at the moment, I’m jealous of you. Maybe all of the guys at your school are ugly, but at least you don’t have to deal with Rin!” you said.

“Is Rin attractive?” she said. 

“No — actually, yeah, I can see why a person would think he is,” you said. Personal biases aside, Rin really was very handsome, and that combined with his aloof arrogance afforded him the aura of a YA novel’s male lead. There was no doubt in your mind that he was popular with girls; however, you doubted he himself was aware of this fact. “He’s such a dick that it cancels out, though.”

“Personality is important,” your best friend said. “Oh, fuck!”

“What?” you said.

“I’ve been forgetting to add the integration constant to my answers. Easy fix, no worries. You can keep talking,” she said.

“Thanks,” you said. “There isn’t really much else to say.”

“Well, if you couldn’t get anything out of his teammates, why don’t you try talking to him?” she suggested. “Ask him to his face why he doesn’t like you.”

“Isn’t that kind of uncomfortable?” you said.

“Not like things can get much worse than they already are,” she said.

“True,” you said. “But the thought of confronting him is actually sickening. I’ll pass. This is character building, isn’t it? I’m going to come back home as an entirely new woman. You won’t recognize my mental strength and fortitude.”

“Sure, looking forward to it. I miss you,” she said.

“Miss you more, but it’s pretty late here, so I’m going to have to hang up,” you said, yawning.

“Goodnight, Y/N, and sleep tight. Don’t let Rin Itoshi bite!” she said.

“Oh my god. Go do your homework,” you said, hanging up before she could respond and almost immediately passing out as the moon rose higher and higher in the sky.

Things between you and Rin continued on in that tense manner for the next few weeks, until you became convinced that your heart might give out from the stress. You couldn’t continue to live in this way. You were supposed to be enjoying your time abroad, not counting down the days until you could finally go home.

Rin was watching a horror movie on the computer when you barged into his room. A woman screamed in sync with your entrance, and you jumped at the jarring sound. Rin did not react, clicking on the mouse to pause the film and then turning in his chair to face you.

“What?” he said.

“What? What? What do you think?” you said.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I had the faintest clue why you were storming into my room in the middle of the night,” he said coolly, crossing his arms. “The movie was finally getting exciting, too. So, what do you want? Hurry up and say it.”

Your eye twitched. “I want to know what your problem is.”

“Huh?” he said. 

“Why do you hate me? What have I ever done to you that’s made you so determined to ruin my life? I could even understand if you didn’t want to hang out with me, but you brought me to your practice and then refused to let me talk to just about anyone! What’s the big idea? I just want to enjoy my semester!” you said.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s easy. You’re ruining my soccer career.”

“I’m ruining your soccer career,” you repeated dubiously.

“Yes,” he said.

“Care to elaborate on how I am accomplishing that, exactly?” you said, your hands on your hips. “I went to one practice, and I didn’t even speak the entire time. If your career can be ruined so easily, then it isn’t much of a career in the first place.”

He huffed in aggravation. “I keep thinking about you. It’s messing with my head. I need to focus on soccer and getting better, but for some reason, I can’t stop my thoughts from wandering to places they shouldn’t. It’s worse because I can’t escape you. If I could have just one day to clear my mind, I could forget about you and get back to considering more important things, but you’re always there, worming your way back in.”

Now it was your turn to be confused. “What?”

“I don’t get it, either. You’re not that special, so why can I quit it? Even my teammates have begun to notice. The other day, Isagi told me to go home early because I was ‘bringing nothing to the team.’ Isagi said that! Yoichi Isagi said that I was useless!” he said.

“That would be a lot more impactful if I knew who that was,” you muttered.

“You’re only here for a few more months, right?” he said. “After that, I can get back to my earlier performance and things will return to usual. Just leave me alone until then.”

Confronting Rin had the opposite effect that it should have. Instead of making things better, they actually became worse. What did he mean by saying that you were ruining his soccer career because he couldn’t stop thinking about you? What a stupid excuse! You weren’t that tiresome, so for him to claim that you were taking over his mind because of that was an offense. 

“Y/N, Rin, will you be alright by yourselves for the week?” Mrs. Itoshi said when, once again, you all were gathered to eat dinner. The Itoshi parents had thankfully not yet noticed the enmity between you and their son, so family meals were a regular occurrence — meals in which you and Rin were made to sit by one another and act kindly, lest you make things awkward for Mr. and Mrs. Itoshi, too.

“It’ll be fine,” Rin said, answering for the both of you, the downturn of his mouth daring you to argue. “You guys should have fun in Spain.”

Apparently, Sae had invited his family to visit him in Madrid for the week that he had off from training, but unfortunately for the both of you, Rin was unable to go due to his practice schedule. It was unfortunate for Rin because it meant he couldn’t see his older brother, who he had the world’s most complicated relationship with, and it was unfortunate for you because it meant you couldn’t get a break from Rin’s dramatics.

The week started off normally enough, which meant that you and Rin did not speak, leading your lives with as much separation as was possible. It was actually easier than you were expecting, mainly because Mrs. Itoshi had left you both enough food to last the week, so you could eat when you wanted to instead of having to sit with one another. Gone were the days of turbulent coexistence at meals; now, you could finally enjoy eating without worrying about the boy beside you! You almost wished his parents would never come back, just because of that rare peace.

The fourth night was when it all went wrong. You were video calling your best friend as a storm raged outside, ranting to her about your professors and the heaps of homework you received every day, when the lights flickered.

“Is something wrong with your wifi?” she said. “You’re breaking up.

“It’s raining,” you said. “Pretty hard. The power’s kinda spotty, but I’m hoping it holds—”

The universe must’ve heard your words and decided to play a joke on you, because in that moment, the lights turned off and your call disconnected with a sad beeping sound, alerting you that your poor connection was what did you in. Pouting, you set your phone aside and stared up at the ceiling of the room, deciding you might as well try to fall asleep, given the late hour. Even if the power was out, you wouldn’t be able to tell with your eyes shut, so it was really the best option.

There was a scratching sound on your window, causing you to jolt into a sitting position once more. Rin had watched a horror movie just like this the other day. You remembered it clearly because you had turned on a rom-com once it had finished, and he had called it lukewarm, which made you so mad that you had turned the TV off and gone to take a shower instead.

What had been the plot, again? Oh, right. The power had gone out, and the victim thought that it had been because of a storm, but it had actually been a serial killer taking advantage of the weather to mess with her house’s fuse box. He had done it so that the cameras didn’t catch him as he climbed into her house through her unlocked window and stabbed her in her sleep. The resolution was that her neighbors saw him and called the police right before he killed them, too — yeah, it was a pretty gory film. Lots of blood and knife wounds. You weren’t sure what enjoyment Rin derived from watching it, but you figured it was another one of his irrational attributes that defied explanation.

Another scratching sound. Had you locked the window? What if the power outage wasn’t due to the storm at all? What if Rin had accidentally manifested the same ending for you as that stupid movie? And you were home alone, too, the scenario was just so similar…

This time, the scratching sound was more like an eerie drag of fingernails against the glass, and you couldn’t help yourself. Squealing, you turned the flashlight of your phone on to guide your way as you sprinted out of your room, racing towards the only other inhabited place in the entire lonely house.

“Rin!” you shrieked, convinced that the shadows were actually ghosts come to haunt you and strangle you and bury you alive. “Rin, wake up! We’re both going to die!”

The door to his bedroom banged open, and you pointed your phone at him, the harsh white glow sharpening the angles of his features, the awkward hang of his pajamas off his body, the way his normally neat hair stuck up in every direction. 

“What are you talking about?” he groaned, using his hand to shield his vision from the blinding radiance of your flashlight.

“Do you remember that movie you were watching the other day? The scary one, with the fuse box?” you said.

“Yeah?” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning. “Point your flashlight at the ground, stupid, or you’ll blind me.”

You did as he directed, belatedly remembering that the two of you very much did not like each other. But beggars could not be choosers, and it remained that at the moment, Rin was your best chance at survival, so you had to stick close to him.

“It’s happening,” you whispered. “It’s literally happening to us right now, as we speak. The serial killer already cut our power, and now he’s trying to break in through my bedroom window, and then — and then he’s going to kill us!”

“I cannot believe you woke me up for this,” he said.

“I’m serious!” you said.

“Seriously dumb,” he said. “Why would somebody try to kill us?”

“Don’t you have any rivals that hate you? Maybe they’re taking advantage of the storm to do you in while they have the chance!” you said, creeping closer to him.

“I play soccer. I’m not in a gang,” he said dryly. “No one’s going to come murder me for being better than them, trust me. Or else I’d already be dead.”

“Go see for yourself, then!” you said. “Wait. But I’ll go with you. People who split up in horror movies always die. There’s real merit to the ‘safety-in-numbers’ theory.”

“How many horror movies have you watched, to make you such an expert on them?” he said.

“You always have them playing, so of course I’ve learnt by osmosis!” you said, inching along behind him as he trudged towards your room. He gave no response bar a click of his tongue as he yanked open the door you had slammed shut in your haste, striding in authoritatively, grabbing your phone and lighting his own way with it instead of relying on your shaky hands.

He pulled the curtains open with a flourish, and you cringed, using his broad back to hide yourself, expecting to see some grotesque face and keeping your eyes screwed shut so you didn’t have to be met with the visage that would spell your death.

“Hey. Y/N. Open your eyes, dumbass. You made me get up because of a damn tree,” Rin said, shaking you by the shoulder. 

“A what?” you said, opening your eyes against your will and then blinking properly when you saw there was nothing there but the boughs of the cherry tree planted in front of Sae’s room. The frenzied wind caused the branches to rub against the window, and this, you realized, was the source of the sound you had been so afraid of. “Oh. A tree.”

“I’m going back to bed,” he informed you. “Wake me up again and you really will be dead, but it’ll be at my hands, not some imaginary serial killer’s.”

You tried. You really tried to stay asleep — you were an independent woman, weren’t you? You had gotten full marks on all of your midterms. You had flown to a different country and learned to live there without much trouble. You had shared a house with Rin Itoshi for the past couple of months, and he was more like a creature out of a nightmare than anything else ever could be. Sleeping alone when the power was out was a piece of cake. You could do it. 

It was not, in fact, a piece of cake, and you could not, in fact, do it. Tip-toeing to Rin’s room, you knocked as lightly as you could, half-hoping that he did not hear. You doubted he had made his earlier threat lightly, after all, and there was a real chance that this action would be your last.

“What now?” Rin said, answering the door a few seconds later. You crossed your arms and stared at the floor obstinately, your pride not allowing you to say anything. He waited for a moment, and then he pinched your upper arm. “Are you sleepwalking? Hello? Wake up if you are, so that I can get to bed myself. I have practice tomorrow, and I need to be well-rested!”

“I’m not sleepwalking!” you said. “I can’t.”

“You can’t sleepwalk? Okay,” he said. “I didn’t really care either way, so there was no need for you to tell me.”

“I can’t sleep at all!” you said. “It’s because of those dumb movies you always watch and those creepy games you play. I keep thinking that something’s going to happen, even though I know that those things aren’t real.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, like he was trying to discern whether you were telling the truth, and then he ran a hand through his hair.

“You have problems,” he said. “They aren’t real, but whatever. Come in.”

“Uh, what?” you said.

“I’ll take the floor, and you can sleep in my bed,” he said, rolling his eyes like you were the ridiculous one for being taken aback by the offer. “That way you can be less nervous.”

It was the kindest thing he had ever done for you, and you almost called him out for it, but then there was another crack of lightning, so you opted not to argue, darting into the room after him and diving into his bed without a second thought.

“Hand me a pillow,” he said, settling on the ground with a blanket he pulled down from the top shelf of his closet. You were about to throw it at him before wavering, considering what he was truly doing for you. Rin Itoshi, who was so careful with his body, who was a pro athlete that required an exact amount of sleep and the perfect balance of nutrients, had woken up in the middle of the night twice and was now offering to sleep on the floor, all because you were afraid of a power outage. 

If only there was electricity! You needed to call your best friend and get her opinion on this. You had avoided telling her the results of your confrontation with him, believing that she would just make fun of you, but for some reason, you thought she might be interested in this development. You thought that she might be the only one who would understand it, because obviously, neither you nor Rin did.

“Um, you can have the bed, if you’d like,” you said, pushing the blankets away reluctantly, your neck protesting at the mere prospect of spending the night on the hardwood. “It’ll be bad for your back if you’re on the floor.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he said. “At least, it won’t be, if you give me that pillow.”

You caved, giving him the pillow and rolling to the opposite side of his bed, which was even larger than the one you were used to. He grunted out a thank you, and then both of you were silent, but it was obvious that neither of you were asleep.

“Rin.”

“Yes?”

“We could share. Your bed is pretty big, so if we put pillows between us, it won’t be weird. Anyways, it’s only until the power comes back, and then I’ll go to my room, so it won’t even be for that long,” you said. The suggestion was met with sputtering from the ground.

“You — me — what — share? No way! No way, terrible idea, why would you suggest that?” he said.

“I just feel bad that you have to be on the floor, that’s all,” you said. “Especially because it’s your room and you’re doing me a favor.”

He didn’t say anything for so long that you were certain he must’ve fallen asleep. “I don’t mind sleeping on the floor for you.”

“Really? I thought you hated me, though,” you said. The bed creaked from an unexpected weight dropping on it, and when you shifted, you saw that he had settled beside you, fluffing up a pillow to serve as a barrier, his face a light pink as he lay on his side to face you. You did the same, peering up at him over the pillow and swallowing when he did not avoid your gaze.

“I do,” he said. “A lot. But I also don’t.”

You furrowed your brow. “I don’t get it.”

“I’ve never been distracted by anyone or anything before,” he said. “That’s why I hate you. I hate things I don’t understand, and I don’t understand why you’re constantly on my mind.”

“Am I that annoying?” you said.

“Yes,” he said flatly. “You’re annoying every time you smile or laugh or say something — say anything, and you’re especially annoying when you act friendly towards my shitty teammates, especially that ninja bastard Otoya. You’re annoying whenever you talk to me, and you’re annoying when you do your homework instead of watching me at the practice you asked to go to. Your lukewarm movies are annoying, and so is your hatred of anything horror-related. It’s annoying that you’re nice to my parents, and it’s even more annoying that you’re better at coming up with insults than I am. You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

You didn’t need your best friend to translate this for you. Despite what Rin liked to say, you weren’t that stupid — you had been selected to study abroad out of hundreds of applicants, after all, and for the first time, you were so grateful for that fact. Because the thought of somebody else being here, in this bed, hearing these things from rude, haughty Rin Itoshi, was unbearable.

“Do you have a crush on me?” you said. He immediately stiffened, his eyebrows drawing together, low and heavy over his half-lidded eyes.

“No,” he said.

“Sure,” you said. “That’s good, because I’m going to leave soon. It would be problematic if either of us liked one another.”

“Exactly,” he said.

“You’re annoying, too, just to be clear,” you said. “The most annoying guy I’ve ever met in my life. Super annoying.”

“Uh-huh,” he said. 

“I’m telling the truth. Once I go back home, I’ll be incredibly bored. No one back there could ever hope to irritate me even half as much as you do,” you said.

“Good,” he said, and at that you smiled into the softness of his sheets, hiding the expression from him. “They’re not allowed to. You’re the only one who makes me feel like this, so the reverse should also be true.”

“I won’t be able to come here again for a while,” you said after a bit. “Likely years. I’ll be busy with school and work and my friends and family, so it’ll probably be goodbye forever when I go.”

Rin’s voice was sleepy when he spoke, reminding you of the late hour and how early he had to wake up daily.

“Then I can finally focus on soccer again,” he mumbled. “That’s a relief.”

You reached across the pillow to pat him on the cheek. “Yes, you can.”

“After I retire, I’ll come and find you,” he said. 

“That long?” you said. “What if I forget about you by then? Because I might.”

“Don’t,” he commanded. “Wait for me. Let me win the next World Cup, and then…and then…”

 His words trailed off into a soft exhale as he finally succumbed to sleep. You allowed your hand, which still lay against his face, to trace his jawline before retracting it and holding it close to your heart. 

He was definitely still a jerk, but maybe you did not hate him quite as much as you had thought You did. Actually, maybe he wasn’t that bad at all, and maybe you could not imagine what an existence without him, which you had craved so desperately only days earlier, might be like. 

You weren’t sure what would happen if that day he spoke of came, if he did fly across the world to find you after the next World Cup. Would he still be himself, or would he be some gentler version? And what of you? Would Rin Itoshi still be someone you paid any mind to, or, by then, would he just be a not-so-fond memory? The strange boy who may or may not have had a crush on you, who was obsessed with soccer and horror movies, who argued with you constantly and made you more infuriated than you had ever been…well, if you thought about it, then there really was no chance of you forgetting him at all. Not so quickly.

So you sighed, turned away from him and let your own eyes shut as well. The house was dark and still, the familiar hum of the refrigerator silenced, the crushing of the ice-maker temporarily halted. Only Rin’s steady inhales and exhales cut through the blackness, lulling you to sleep despite the atmosphere you had previously found sinister.

“I guess I have no choice, huh?” you said as you, too, drifted off. “Brainless, rude, pesky Rin Itoshi. Fine, then. If that’s how you want it…I’ll wait. Just until the next World Cup, I’ll wait for you.”

[keepingitformyself]

we might just get away with it (iii)

A/N: sorry for the long wait, truth is life has been life-ing. and uni has also had all my attention. using all this inspo and energy to write as much as i can!!! hoping it lasts me a while. enjoy this third chapter :)

previous parts: part i part ii

synopsis: hollywood is a tricky place for someone new like you, a certain elusive redhead is hoping you can let her in.

pairings: writer!natalie rushman x youngactress!reader

genre: slow burn asf

warning: super slow burn. sorry gang, hang in there.

please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.

you find out shortly after lunch with natalie that you’ll be set to shoot another film outside the country. samantha sends you a text saying:

cooper raiff wants your number. you got the job.

in the next seconds jenna’s caller id flashes on your screen. an excited exclamation when she greets you.

“guess who you’ll be seeing in new zealand…”

————

5 months later.

the life of an actor is very fast paced.

you’ve spent the last few months in new zealand shooting for another film. you lived out of a tiny home in the new zealand countryside but you don’t ever complain about it.

because why would you? your free days are spent going to local bars in the small town you stay in with cast and crew. jenna, on days off set will make you—and sometimes the whole cast—dinner and you’ll both sit outside your neighboring tiny homes enjoying the evening sky.

you do what you love and you do it with people who you adore.

but,

you’ve also spent the last few months jumping on calls over zoom with your writers room for the series. sometimes with greta, natalie and series producers, sometimes just you and greta or you and natalie.

it’s all really great.

right before your last week in new zealand you do get a call though. it’s natalie and greta, both on facetime. they break the news that the script is nearly fully developed and it’s only a matter of getting everything finalized and ready for production in the coming months.

you’re in the middle of getting your makeup done when you find out. you’re so ecstatic you nearly jump out of your seat. it earns you questioning looks from jenna and auli’i, both girls seeming interested to know what disrupted your peace.

before you know it you’re back from filming in new zealand and catching a flight back to la.

your brain is reeling. the pressure is on. and when you arrive at the airport there’s distant camera shutters as you try to retrieve your luggage.

in the car ride home you get a message from natalie.

welcome back. can we meet before the meeting tomorrow?

and so you do.

natalie texts you to meet at a coffee shop, near the west side of hollywood, she’s typing concentratedly into her laptop when you spot her at a corner table.

“hey, stranger!” you say once you’re in front of her.

natalie looks up in an instant. her eyes shine and her smile reaches them. she’s up and circling her arms around your waist in the next second. her embrace on you is one that you weirdly find much relief in.

“please, sit. i ordered your coffee for you already.” and she’s tucking out a chair across from her for you to sit in.

but you’re caught in confusion at her words,

“how do you know my coffee order?” you ask.

all she does is smile like it’s the most obvious thing ever.

“we’ve been working for so long. i’ve memorized your order from all those meetings with greta and such.”

and all you can really do is laugh because you suppose it’s sort of easy to catch onto something when it’s the same every single time. still, it’s oddly thoughtful, and that thoughtfulness makes your chest feel warm, a sensation you’re not entirely sure how to process.

you sit down, folding your coat over the back of the chair, and reach for the cup in front of you. the familiar aroma greets you, a little comfort in the chaos of the past few months.

natalie’s gaze lingers on you as you take your first sip, and for a fleeting moment, you wonder if she’s always been this observant. or maybe, you’ve just been too preoccupied to notice.

“so,” you say, breaking the silence as you set the cup down. “what’s the meeting-before-the-meeting about?”

natalie leans back in her chair, crossing her legs in a way that looks effortless but is probably calculated. she tilts her head slightly, the hint of a smirk playing on her lips. “can’t a colleague just want to catch up?”

you narrow your eyes at her, skeptical but amused. “you don’t strike me as the type to waste time with small talk.”

“fair,” she admits, her smirk softening into something gentler. “i wanted to talk to you about the upcoming season—off the record, before the full team gets involved.”

now she has your full attention. “okay…what about it?”

natalie glances around the café briefly, as if ensuring no one’s listening, and then leans forward, resting her elbows on the table. “it’s about your character. greta and i have been discussing some adjustments, and we want your input. you’ve lived in her skin for a whole season. you know her better than anyone.”

her words catch you off guard. “you’re asking for my input? like, before the script is finalized?”

“exactly,” natalie says. “you’re not just the face of the show; you’re its heart. and i want this season to feel like it belongs to you as much as it does to greta or me.”

it’s a compliment so disarming that you find yourself momentarily speechless. you’d been prepared for a critique, maybe some notes on your performance, but this—this feels different. it feels…personal.

“i—i don’t know what to say,” you finally manage. “that means a lot, natalie.”

her eyes soften even further, and there’s something unreadable in her expression. “you deserve it. you work harder than anyone i know.”

before you can respond, your phone buzzes on the table, breaking the moment. you glance at the screen: it’s a text from jenna.

dinner tonight? i’m making that thing you like. bring wine.

you smile at the message but quickly turn your attention back to natalie, who’s watching you with quiet curiosity.

“sorry about that,” you say, locking the screen. “so, what adjustments are we talking about?”

natalie shifts her laptop toward you, opening a document filled with notes and outlines. as she starts explaining the changes, you’re struck by how passionate she is—not just about the show but about your role in it.

and maybe, just maybe, about you.

later that evening, you’re standing outside jenna’s apartment door, bottle of wine in one hand and your phone in the other, responding to yet another text from samantha. the scent of garlic and fresh herbs wafts through the open window, a promise of something comforting and homemade. you don’t have many constants in your life right now, but jenna’s dinners are one of them.

when she answers the door, she’s wearing an oversized sweater, her hair messily tied back. “finally! i was starting to think you ditched me for someone more interesting.”

you roll your eyes, stepping inside and handing her the wine. “because i have so much free time for that.”

“hey, you’re the star now,” she teases, grabbing two glasses from the cabinet. “how was the meeting? or can you not talk about it? big, scary NDAs and all that.”

you follow her to the kitchen, watching as she plates roasted vegetables and some kind of stuffed chicken. it smells incredible, but you’re already preoccupied with her question.

“it was fine,” you say vaguely, leaning against the counter. “productive.”

jenna glances at you over her shoulder, her brow raised. “you’re a terrible liar, you know.”

“i’m not lying!”

“then why do you look like you’re replaying the entire meeting in your head right now?” she sets the plates on the table and gestures for you to sit. “come on, spill. was it greta? did she grill you about something? or wait—was it natalie?”

you blink, caught off guard. “why would it be natalie?”

jenna shrugs, pouring the wine and sitting across from you. “i don’t know. you just get…weird when you talk about her.”

you frown, trying to process what she means. “weird how?”

you had previously mentioned natalie to jenna. back in new zealand she'd always wonder who you were having meetings with all the time. the girl got curious, and would ask so many questions. sometimes, she'd be in the same room as you when they happened.

she'd catch moments with you and natalie as well. something jenna thought was just natalie being overtly friendly, but then when you'd look off to the side and meet jenna's eyes, she knew you were thinking the same.

“like you’re trying not to think about her but failing miserably.” jenna takes a sip of her wine, studying your reaction. “she intimidates you, doesn’t she?”

“not exactly,” you mutter, cutting into your chicken.

“she’s a big deal,” jenna continues, unfazed. “a genius writer, total powerhouse, and not to mention—”

“don’t,” you warn, already knowing where this is going.

“—drop-dead gorgeous.”

you groan, covering your face with your hands. “i’m not having this conversation.”

“oh, come on! you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

“of course i’ve noticed,” you admit, your voice muffled behind your hands. “everyone notices. but it’s not like that.”

“not like what?”

“not like…that,” you repeat, gesturing vaguely. “she’s like my boss, for one thing. and for another, she’s just—she’s natalie. she’s focused, brilliant, older, wiser, and way out of my league.”

jenna tilts her head, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. “so, you have thought about it. wouldn't it be hot to date someone older than you though?”

you glare at her, but your flushed cheeks betray you. “i'm not talking about this anymore.”

“fine,” she says, holding up her hands in surrender. “but just so you know, if someone like natalie rushman was looking at me the way she looks at you? i wouldn’t be sitting here eating chicken with my best friend. i’d be figuring out what that look means.”

you shake your head, pretending to focus on your plate. but jenna’s words linger, stubbornly taking root in the back of your mind.

does natalie look at you differently? you’ve noticed her attentiveness, the way she always seems to know exactly what to say to put you at ease. but you’d chalked it up to her being a consummate professional, someone who’s mastered the art of making others feel seen.

now, though, you’re not so sure.

jenna grins at your silence, clearly pleased with herself. “think about it,” she says, clinking her glass against yours.

and you do. later that night, as you lie awake staring at the ceiling, your thoughts drift to the way natalie had smiled at you earlier, her voice low and certain when she called you the heart of the show.

you tell yourself it doesn’t mean anything.

but deep down, a tiny part of you wonders if it does.

[alwayslurkinginthebackground]

Lucky - A Pedrotober Drabble

Day 8 of Pedrotober: Corona Pedrotober hosted by @norththelemon and @alyssamariag. View the full prompt list HERE and view my entire Pedrotober drabble catalog HERE.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

Rating: THIS IS FOR EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES IN LOVE. The briefest of mentions of unwanted advances in a bar setting.

Word Count: 2268

a/n: This is for @alyssamariag and she knows it. I legitimately blacked out writing this one and somehow it's now here.

"You'll find someone eventually, sweetie," your mom reminds you for what feels like the millionth time. "You just have to put yourself out there."

It's exhausting, really, these weekly phone calls where you're reminded time and time again that your brother is getting married. Five years younger and he was beating you to the alter the same way every one of your friends has. But he was lucky. He met his future wife in college when they sat next to one another in class. An organic meet cute that spawned into a flourishing relationship.

Meanwhile, your college boyfriend cheated on you the first chance he got.

"I have to go, Mom," you cut her off as Frankie walks through the front door. He gives you a knowing look when he realizes you're on the phone, moving through your house like he lives there. And these days, he basically does.

As the only single members of your friend group, you spend your time together while the others spend theirs with their partners. It was, at times, perhaps a little concerning how co-dependent the two of you were becoming, but seeing Frankie each evening was much better than the alternative of being alone.

And it wasn't like the two of you hadn't tried to find partners. You'd just never been in the right place at the right time. Frankie was fresh out of a long-term relationship when you met him, and starting a flight school had kept him far too busy for far too long. For you, moving across the country hadn't helped much. You'd had to start fresh. New city, new job, new home, new friends, all built from the ground up. Where the move had done little for your love life, it had brought you a sense of accomplishment, a wealth of new experiences, and, most importantly, your boys.

Which, you suppose, was a bit of good fortune. The way you just happened to walk into the same bar on the same night that they were already seated around a table celebrating Benny's latest win. The way your coworker ditched you early on, leaving you alone at the bar nursing a once-cold bottle of Corona. The way all four of them had jumped to your defense when a man tried to slip his arm around your waist.

But even they had found people to share their lives with while you and Frankie sat on the sidelines, doing your due diligence by downloading dating apps. You even dragged him along to a speed dating event that Santi had signed you up for, but the world wasn't what it once was. You couldn't just attend a cooking class and expect to meet your soulmate while roasting a turkey. And if you did manage to secure your significant other one side dish at a time, it was still because of luck.

"Your Mom again?" Frankie asks when you step into your kitchen, already feeling the urge to rant boiling in your veins.

You nod. "She's on me again. Reminding me that my biological clock is ticking and that I have to get serious about this before she's too old to play with her grandchildren."

Frankie scoffs, "You don't want kids though."

"That's what I keep telling her, but I don't know that it'll ever stick in your brain," you bite out as you help him unbag the Chinese food he's brought you for dinner. "But," you continue, conceding a bit, "she is also kind of right."

He pauses, staring at you with wide eyes until the heat permeating through the thin cardboard of the box of rice he's holding threatens to burn his fingers. He sets it on the counter with a wince and turns to you. "Don't tell me you're letting her get in your head."

You shrug, avoiding his gaze as you grab plates. "I don't know." You exhale heavily as you set the dishes down next to him, turning to lean back against the counter. "I just wish I could skip this whole dating thing and get to the happy ending part. It's just unfair, you know? How we're supposed to put ourselves out there on these apps when all anyone is looking for there is a good fuck. And if you don't rely on the apps, you're not trying hard enough. And if none of that worked, it's entirely up to fate to put you in the right place at the right time."

There's a beat of silence before he responds, his voice dripping with understanding. "I know what you mean." Of course, he does. Of anyone, he's the only one that does.

"It's like playing the lottery and losing every time," you sigh again, scooping rice onto one of the dishes. "Maybe I should just have Benny set me up on that blind date he keeps talking about or something."

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

You hand him his own plate of food. "It's better than not trying, isn't it?"

Frankie says nothing.

If you were serious about the blind date, I have someone I could set you up with. Better than Benny's guy.

His text feels like it comes out of nowhere. You're on your way home from work when you see it pop up on your car's notification system, and you swear you feel your stomach drop a little at the suggestion. You'd mostly been kidding when you said it, overwhelmed by the lecture you'd just been given by your mother, and there's something about Frankie making the offer that doesn't sit right with you. Sitll, you're curious.

Who is it? You text back once you've put the car in park, grabbing your phone as you head inside.

He replies instantly, doesn't that defeat the point of a blind date??

You roll your eyes and call him instead and he picks up on the second ring. "It does not defeat the purpose," you explain, "I just want to know what I'm getting into before I say yes."

Your best friend chuckles on the other end of the line. "It's just someone I work with. Nice guy, recently out of a relationship, tall," Frankie explains, well aware of your type.

"Is he a scruffy-looking nerfherder, too?" you ask, quoting The Empire Strikes Back. You'd once told him that that was your type. Harrison Ford saving Carrie Fisher from an icy planet.

"Maybe."

You ponder your options for a moment. You'd never actually texted Benny about the idea, but having it come out of left field on Frankie's part feels a little like a sign. Maybe this is the stroke of luck you need. A random introduction that would lead to a fairytale romance.

"I'll do it," you tell him, "on one condition. I get to set you up with someone, too."

Frankie's quiet, and you wish you could see his face right now because you can picture the panic you know is written on it. But you aren't about to find your true love and leave him in the dust. "Who is it?" he asks, imitating your earlier questioning.

"A friend from work," you reply sarcastically, even if it isn't a lie. "You'll like her. She's smart, a little quiet, and brunette."

"I really think you'll like her," you explain to Frankie as the two of you walk through the grocery store, a weekly trip you take together. "She works in finance, she actually knows something about how to fix a car, and she loves to travel." He nods along, pushing the cart as you grab things from both of your lists. "But what about my prince charming?" you inquire, setting a box of Cap'n Crunch in the basket. For all you've told him about his date, he's told you very little.

"He...." Frankie pauses for a second, "...he's..."

You tilt your head. "You're really selling him here, Morales."

He shrugs, "What am I supposed to say? He's the most attractive man I've ever met? You'll definitely be satisfied by him? I'm sure he has a big..."

A mother passing by with her daughter in the cart coughs before he can finish the sentence and you struggle to hold in a laugh as he apologizes. The two of you move further down the aisle, "Okay, maybe not that, but what's he like as a person? What does he do for fun?"

Frankie sucks in a breath. "He likes a lot of the same things I do, I guess. He's...nurturing?"

Your eyebrows raise as you lead him down another aisle. "Nurturing?"

"Yeah," he grunts softly. "Nurturing. Like, he's loyal. Cares about the people in his life. The kind of person that will take care of you when you're sick or watch that dumb Tom Hanks movie you love so much."

"You've Got Mail," you supply, causing him to roll his eyes before continuing, but it's obvious that he chooses his next words carefully.

"He's the kind of person who will be there for you even when it's two in the morning and you're up because it's storming. I guess he can be a little stubborn, but it's usually just because he cares too much." He pauses, and you open your mouth to respond, but then he keeps going and you can do nothing but listen, transfixed. "Loves movies and has his pilot's license like me. Quiet sometimes, but he can be a little mischievous, too. It's all in good fun, though. It just means he loves you."

You've stopped next to the pasta and are staring at him, eyes wide. "Is that all?"

He nods. "That good enough for you?"

"Yeah, that's good."

Your date comes faster than you anticipated. Frankie has you set up at a local bar to meet with his coworker, although per your agreement, you didn't even know his name. He'd be sitting, Frankie explained, at a table near the back and would be drinking a Corona. When you insisted that you needed more information, he asked if you'd prefer a rose in a book, but you'd simply hit his arm and grudgingly agreed to his plan.

His date, meanwhile, was set for the following evening. Your coworker hadn't stopped talking about it all week, excited about the prospect of meeting someone new. For someone who was usually quiet, she was obnoxiously loud when it came to Frankie, and you couldn't help but wince every time she brought him up. It wasn't that you were jealous, because you weren't. You and Frankie were never meant to be more than friends, and that was lucky enough.

So why didn't it feel that way?

As you check your makeup in the rearview mirror, you debate driving back home. It would be easy to leave. Easy to call Frankie on the way and tell him you didn't feel a spark and ask if he'd pick up a pizza and come over for a movie night. Cancel the whole thing and go back to your simple single life.

Your phone lights up on the passenger seat with a text from Frankie, as if he's heard your thoughts somehow. Have fun tonight.

Well, now you have to go inside. And maybe this wouldn't work out. Maybe Frankie was wrong and this guy wasn't for you, but you have to go for him. Because your best friend put in the time and effort to set you up with someone he genuinely thought you would like. And you trust his judgement wholeheartedly.

With one last breath, you step from your car, finding your confidence in your heels as you make your way toward the same bar you'd met the boys at all those years ago. It's crowded inside, more so than usual, and you have to apologize a few times as you weave your way through the mass of people. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest and your stomach feels like throwing up might be a preferable activity right now, but you press on until you can see someone sitting at a table near the back.

You try to make out his features through the dim light, but he's turned away from you. You know it's him though because the light above his table illuminates the Corona he's holding with one hand. When the song changes on the radio, Harry Nilsson's Somewhere Over the Rainbow playing through the speakers, you realize you've been standing there for too long.

That, actually, you don't want to go through with this.

What you want is to go home. You want to call Frankie. You want to curl up in his arms. You want...

"Frankie," you breathe out because he's there in front of you as he turns. Like you've summoned him.

He leaves the Corona on the table as he stands and takes a step toward you. He says nothing as he invades your space. You feel like crying, and maybe you are because he tells you not to, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumb.

"I wanted it to be you," you say softly, quoting Meg Ryan because, you realize, this is what it feels like to be lucky. "How did you..."

Frankie smiles. "You didn't think I'd actually let you end up with someone else, did you?"

"No," you tell him tearfully, "you're too stubborn for that." It's easy to melt into his embrace as he draws you closer. "And mischievous," you add, repeating what he told you at the grocery store, "but I guess that just means he loves me."

He nods, his lips a breath from yours. "He does."

[narcjsistx]

𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 | kaiser x reader

— part three

plot: kaiser comforted you after a bad and slow breakup, but what will happen now considering what you two shared? is everything still unexpected or is there something you both simply have yet to realize?. fluff shit 'cause yeah!!

words: 2.9k (2951)

extra: it will probably become a multi part story, tell me if you're interested in a part four!

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!

The airport, at night, had always seemed like an extremely quiet place to you; often your flights, just like this one in the end, arrived at their destination when it was already dark outside, and going down the steps of the plane in the cold night had always been a pleasant sensation for you. But not this time, when everything seemed out of place while your head still hurt from the fight with Gabriele

Even if at least 3 hours had passed and you were completely in another country, Gabriel's shadow always seemed to be a few steps behind you, looking for the right moment to attack you and suck every last drop of blood from you

The flight had been quick, barely two hours. Berlin had welcomed you with its usual beauty, which fascinated you every time. Your phone had run out of battery just before entering the Milan airport, leaving you with no news from Kaiser. You didn't know if he had read the message, if he was at home, if he was first of all still convinced of his proposal: everything still seemed to be understood, and not having the situation under control was strange for someone like you

During the flight you often thought about Kaiser, but it's often a nice and reductive way of saying always: the thought of seeing him again, of hugging him, of living under his roof again were all sensations that you had terribly missed. His touch was something you craved after so many hands that had touched you only to hurt you

You simply needed Michael

The moment you plugged in the charger at the airport and your phone came back to life, your phone's notifications were flooded with nothing but Kaiser: you had received a few calls, a few messages and even an email. You find yourself smiling almost unconsciously, opening the chat

mihya ♡

— are you serious? — 17:59

— tell me you're not joking and you actually accepted — 18:00

— y/n?? — 18:13

— your phone shows disconnected, maybe you're on a plane — 18:29

— call me — 18:32

— call me as soon as you get off, I'll stay outside until I see the plane land — 18:41

— you don't know how happy it makes me to know that you are here with me again — 18:57

Reread the last message more than a few times, and the smile on your face doesn't seem to want to fade; Kaiser never dares to say such sweet things, but the fact that he did it with you makes you extremely happy. Suddenly, to yourself, you wondered why you hadn't moved back there before. You would have suffered much less

mihya ♡

you — I'm at the gate — 19:47

— I saw you. I'm coming to you — 19:47

You write the message and look up, looking for him among the sea of ​​people walking in their own hurry. Knowing that he responded right away and was waiting for you warms your heart. Noticing blonde and blue hair should be simple, yet where is he? why don't you see anyone approaching?

"Damn" you whisper to yourself, standing on tiptoe to look for him, but you feel as if Gabriel's shadow disappears to make room for another, more reassuring one. You whip around and a pair of cerulean big eyes stare back at you, the usual smirk on his pale, smooth face "Found"

For just a second, the world seems to stop; you look at each other, one's eyes on the other's figure, and for a fraction of time that seems to last too short, you find yourself thinking about what it would be like to kiss him again. Kiss him out of love, not driven by the moment as had happened to you that night in the hotel. Simply knowing what his lips would taste like for a kiss given on the fly, just like that. But the feeling doesn't last long, replaced by one of strangeness for even having imagined such a thing

“Hey” you say, waving at him with your free hand, the other holding the suitcase. But it's not long before he pulls you into a hug, his hands resting on the small of your back. Sweet shivers run down your spine, and you wonder why you all suddenly you seem like a whore for his touch. You just really hope he doesn't notice, because it would be extremely difficult to explain. He stays like that for a few seconds, before you place your free hand against his back, returning the hug. Kaiser lets out a satisfied sigh before pulling away, picking up your suitcase without even asking your permission "I can carry it" you say trying to take the handle again, but he shakes his head "Don't you dare. Are you tired?" he asks

You would like to answer him simply, tell him that at the moment tiredness is eating you alive and the stress of the last fight with Gabriel is still corroding your veins. But now, with him, everything seems a little lighter

"A little, but because of the flight. A good sleep and I'll be better" you say walking next to him as you head towards the airport exit. He watches you, but doesn't seem completely convinced by your words "Is that all?" he asks raising an eyebrow, and you know very well that sooner or later you will have to explain the situation to him in full “For what you need to know now, yes"

You exit the building, your suitcase in the back seat and you and him sitting comfortably in the front seats. The car leaves, walking a road you already know: when you lived with Kaiser, you were often the one who came to pick him up when he returned from another country, and you walked along the exact same road that led, and continues to lead, to his house

"This sudden decision?" the guy says, switching gears "Don't get me wrong, but you still had some doubts on the call. You told me to wait before you hung up on me, and I don't know why" he says, and you understand what he means. You look through the window, Berlin slowly returning to your memory with all its particularities

"Gabriel is back" you say, and notice how his expression changes radically "He acted crazy, and still being there made me realize that there would probably be bad consequences. So I accepted, removing any doubts" you say, your hands calm on your lap. Kaiser nods, but his grip on the steering wheel remains tighter than necessary

"I should have asked you before, but I thought it was one of your usual things where you argue and two days later everything is normal. I'm glad that this time you've really opened your eyes, at least on this topic" he says almost in a sarcastic tone, which however you don't understand all of a sudden "At least in this topic?" you ask, and Micheal turns to look at you for a few seconds before looking back at the road ahead, leaving you with no answer. You glare at him for a few seconds, then sigh; you look back out the window, and suddenly the silence seems to weigh heavy between you

The road passes quietly under your and his gaze, and even before you realize it, you arrive at the iron gate that opens onto Micheal's house. The car passes him and stops in the cobblestone driveway, before it shuts down completely. Kaiser gets out and consequently you too, heading to get your suitcase, but again he is the one who picks it up and carries it into the house.When you enter the house, an old feeling of familiarity enters your veins, reminding you of many beautiful memories: the dinners at midnight when he returned from training, the sports themed evenings where he forced you to pass the ball to him inside the house, the days where you simply stayed lying on the sofa together was the only solution. There is a reason, after all, that you consider the years here to be your happiest

And knowing that for now this will be your new home makes you calm, much more than you were in Milano, always suspicious and sad

"The house also missed you" the boy says ironically, placing the suitcase at the entrance; you giggle, rolling your eyes as you take off your coat “And I missed the house” you say feeling more confident. Kaiser lets out a laugh as he motions for you to follow him into the kitchen, which you do. As you walk, nothing seems to have changed except just the color of the walls, which have now gone from light white to grey

“You didn't have dinner, right?” he asks going towards the fridge "No. I didn't have the chance" you admit, but in fact you weren't really hungry, still with an upset stomach after the fight "I suspected. Sit down, I'll make you something" he says taking some eggs, but you shake your head before approaching and taking the food in your hand "Don't worry, it's not a big problem. Have you eaten?" you ask, and he glares at you, almost hurt "Don't worry about that, I'll eat something later. Sit down" he says moving his head, and you're about to reply when he shushes you again "This is your home again, you don't have to well done" he says, and a smile tugs at your lips before you sigh, finally sitting down

Kaiser starts preparing something, and you watch as he moves around the kitchen. You were used to seeing him cook, but seeing him do it at his house with the knowledge that it was yours again had a different flavor. You wanted to ask him so many things, but above all if he really wasn't often at home or had only told you to convince you. The company, appreciated above all, would not have hurt you like someone else “Mihya” you call to him, and he turns around “Hm?” he murmurs, returning to his work "Are you really not home often?" you ask, thinking about it "I know you guys are playing some kind of league right now, so you're busy. I also saw that you had a game today, but in Berlin" you say, hiding the fact that you had this afternoon's game against PxG seen in full “When are you leaving next?” you ask

Kaiser places a plate of eggs and vegetables in front of you, before sitting down on the chair in front of yours "I'm often not at home because of the championship, yes. Today it was a coincidence that I was playing in Berlin, but in general I go to hotels with the rest of the team. The next game should be in Cologne tomorrow afternoon, so I should leave tonight, but-" he says, and you interrupt him almost immediately "You should get ready if you have to leave, then" you say worriedly, but he shakes his head "-But, since you have arrived, I will leave alone and ask to come back first. You are here, and I don't like leaving you alone no matter how much you want it. The team will leave tonight and I will join them by train tomorrow morning" he says, putting down his head on the table on his folded arms

The carrot you were eating gets stuck in your throat, and a sense of embarrassment spreads around you. You look at Kaiser, who gave up something so important just for you, who looks at you with an attention he has never paid to anyone since you've known him. The gaze is returned, and a strange sense of tension stops between you

You want to let win your intrusive thoughts that tell you to kiss him and ask him why you had sex win, but you resist for the shred of dignity you have left. But, in your eyes at least, he also seems to be fighting the urge to do something

"You shouldn't have. But thank you, Mihya" you say trying to get everything back to normal, but his damned look doesn't seem to give in even as the words return to compensate for the silence

You eat in silence, glancing at each other as you finish your meal. Without really noticing it, it's later than you expected: you both enter the room you used a few years ago, and everything is left as you left it, only some of his prizes have taken their places on the shelves "I'll take them out as soon as I have a few minutes" he says, placing the suitcase on the floor "Don't worry, I like them. They're shiny, they reflect you" you say sitting on the floor, opening the suitcase which contains few stuff for a stay. Kaiser notices this immediately "You didn't bring much stuff" he says, sitting down on the bed, his knees a few centimeters from your face "I know. I'll buy something here or have the rest shipped to me somehow from Milano" you say, sticking out a underwear vest, which you decided on the spot that you will use as pajamas. Micheal nods almost immediately as he watches you place some of your things in the room. You missed these four walls, you missed everything and especially Kaiser

Right now, the situation you're in is even more confusing: even though you know he'll be out of town a lot, sooner or later the topic of that night will come up. And probably, knowing both yourself and him, other topics will come up in the heat of the moment. Your goal is to put this situation off for as long as possible, because adding this to your already stressed state would be fatal for you. At the same time though, you need so many answers that you can't count them on the fingers of your hands. However, you also need answers from yourself, because after a fresh breakup you already find yourself having such strange thoughts with the last person in the world you should have them about, your best friend

Best friend. Kaiser has been your best friend for a long time, but what are you actually to him? His best friend, he would tell you, the girl who is closest to him at the moment. But how can you still consider someone you slept with as your best friend and with whom you have always sought physical contact ever since, even as simple as holding hands?. The way you loved each other that night wasn't best friends, not even fuck buddies because otherwise you wouldn't have given it any weight once it happened. That gesture was dictated by love, and it scared you

Love had reduced you to something insignificant, and above all, loving Kaiser wasn't possible: he was your best friend, or at least that was the label you felt like saying. Loving him meant going back to that time many years ago where you had desperately loved him but never done anything to call him yours. You were a little girl at the time, now you were a woman and, above all, in the midst of a world class scandal. Everything indicated that there was no possibility, even remote, of being able to love him again. Then, you didn't really know what he thought about it, and on the one hand you preferred to stay in the dark so as not to face other problems

You were confused, maybe he was seriously having fewer problems than you were having everything. Maybe it really was all in your head

“Y/n” Micheal says, snapping you out of your thoughts that were seriously going to the worst “Sorry I got distracted, tell me” you say folding some sweatshirts, putting them in your new closet “I'm seriously happy to see you here again. I'd rather you be alone but well than with that crazy guy" Kaiser says, getting up from the bed as he approaches you. You watch him, his hands pulling you into a hug again, slower this time, as if he's taking his time: his arms slide along your sides, practically ending up on the outer part of your lower back, his head resting on your shoulder

You would like to say that his words don't have as much effect on you, that it's not a problem like all the others already on the list, but you would be lying. It's doing exactly what makes you even more confused, making your brain feel like goo

"Mihya, I-" you say embarrassed, not knowing how to respond to such an important sentence like his "You don't need to tell me anything. Let me stay like this for a few more minutes before I go to bed" he says against your neck, and now even that little bit of brain you had is now officially gone. You sigh perplexedly, now placing your arms around his neck as you let yourself be lulled by the beautiful sensation

“I'm glad to be back here. I missed all this” you say, caught up in the moment. You didn't tell a lie, because actually the first months away here were extremely complex, and still remained so after years. You fiercely loved the feeling of living with Kaiser, but for a long time you had had to hide it from Gabriel, thus minimizing trips to Germany and especially to the blond and blue boy's house

"I missed you instead" he says almost in a whisper, but it reaches your ears straight like a blow, an electric shock, straight to your heart

Maybe the situation was even more complicated than you imagined until a little while ago

[notedgyanymore]

Dp x Dc idea 💡

Jazz has been dating Jason for the last few months the bat family loves her, and she hasn't given any of them red flags to trigger their paranoia as to make them look into her past, so to them jazz just seems like a normal nice girl. Everything changes though when she gets custody of her younger brother, who according to her has spent the last six months recovering from an unknown disease in a specialized hospital in another country.

Danny unlike jazz is a walking red flag, you can tell in your gut that there is something inhuman and terrifying about him and now the bat family is scrabbling to find information about Danny and jazz's past which seems so far to be purposely erased in a way that is so efficient that it's as if it never happened in the first place. The bat family current theory is that Danny is some kind of monster/creature that has infiltrated Jazz's life and altered her memories and that she never had a brother in the first place this corroborates with the fact the while Jazz Fenton existence is very well documented by government, there's virtually no evidence of the existence of Daniel Fenton before he appeared the last month with a fake recently made ID.

The truth is Danny has spent the last six months recovering in the ghost zone from an attempted dissection courtesy of Jack and Maddie Fenton and was being taken care of by his ghost guardians/parents frost bite and clockwork, while healing he discovered the that he really likes "living" in the realms specially after a traumatic experience, not having to deal with humans feels great ! Anyhow, Danny decides that he wants to live full time in the ghost zone and makes a wish to Desiree so his identity both as Phantom and Fenton get erased and the only people who remember that he ever existed are jazz, Sam, tucker and of course the ghosts.  

Jazz wasn't all that happy about the wish, but she understands that it is better that her parents forget Danny's existence, so they can't go after him again also making a new identity together seems easy enough. The reason why jazz got Danny's custody in the first place was because of the agreement she made with clockwork and frost bite that Danny should at least finish high school and get to complete his eighteen birthday on earth, and they were fine with this deal after all is just a few years and ghost children age much slower which means that clockwork and frost bite would also get to raise their kid.

Danny currently is very unhappy with the deal having to live on earth, specially on a city like Gotham, moreover having to deal with Jazz's terrible boyfriend and his family who are treating him like dirt. Well jazz isn't happy either, she loves Jason, but she will not stand anyone treating her brother this badly, so he better step up before he gets dumped.

Note : Out of the bat family, Jason is the one with the most antagonistic attitude towards Danny, the pits recognize him as a threat to their existence and activate a fight or flight response in Jason. He tries to be sneaky and not say anything bad about Danny when his sister is around, but Jazz knows what going on and is deeply disappointed. Also, after six months in the zone, Danny has gotten worse at hiding his ghostly nature.

[nicohii]

fortnight.

Pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt to Comfort, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers (as usual)

Summary: you love him, it's ruining your life. inspired by taylor swift's fortnight.

Sometimes you think to yourself how you caused your own misery. It's not like anybody forced you to come clean with your feelings with him. And it's not his responsibility to return your feelings either. You promised yourself you'll tell him and deal with the consequences maturely - that went well- because now you can't even be in the same room as him. Trying to escape the corridors the moment you see a flash of white hair.

What can you do? There's still a sliver of pride in you that doesn't want to show him how fucking miserable you are in the aftermath because god knows he'll feel so bad about it and that in turn will be another weight in your chest.

Your phone buzzes against the lacquered wood. Vibrations echoing against the smooth surface, flashing a familiar number that you practically memorized by heart already, yet had not called for a while. You let the call die out on its own not bothering to pick up.

Ever since that honest, rejection, per se, a rift started to form, try as you might not to. It's your fault and you know it, but you want all your feelings to at least settle down before properly facing him again. Damn, you fucking loved that dude since you can remember, why couldn't you just have swallowed it down.

"I'm really sorry. I think... I just don't see us being more than the best of friends, you know? "

The way he said it didn't help too. His golden eyes were actually pleading, like he didn't want to even say what he said. His breathing uneven. His hands, as big as they were, fidgeting. He has that look on his face like he wants to take back all he said just because of the look on your face. So you put on your face together in a way that will make him at ease. Make him believe that it's fine (it fucking hurts a lot). And you pat his back (it stings).

"I understand, we'll always be the best of friends."

---------------------------------------------------

Life goes on after that. A few years maybe. Some friends go on to other countries, some friends go back to rest roots and settle. He goes on to compete in a few Olympic games and international competitions.

He still calls from time to time, tells you how he's doing. You see some tabloid news about him, different models. They look good together. He looks better. He's an Olympian, of course he does.

You realized that in the moments that everyone had been moving on, you're stuck. Spending the years being faithful even if there is nothing promised, following Koutarou's footsteps, that you have dedicated everything for him; that you have forgotten what it's like to live not for him.

That plans for Koutarou aside, you don't have a single plan for yourself. In a desperate cry in a temple on a quiet holiday, begging for a sign, bargaining, and promising to listen (as if that rejection wasn't a clear message enough back when you were in high school); a call for a work overseas arrives. You take it without any hesitation. Taking the earliest flight, taking whatever life you have left here, very few shreds of dignity, and a somehow healing heart.

---------------------------------------------------

He still reaches out, small talks, asking how you have been. You learn how to forget replying. It's work, it's the time zone. Little by little. Maybe life isn't all about him.

You still see news, less tabloids and papparazzi shots, and just more on campaigns and game updates. Tetsuro and Akaashi rarely mention him too aside from necessary.

In the rare days where he managed to catch you online, and you respond, he mentions the idea of a visit when you mention having no time to go home. It has been a long time.

"Maybe I can go see you? "

You're far too busy to hear any undertones than the usual him. Innocent Kou, you muse, and rest assured that whatever you might respond will just be taken as it is and no hard feelings.

"I'm not sure Kou. Depends on the schedule. I may not be here always."

(You're on remote work and flexitime but he didn't need to know that)

It's a decline he knows. Sucks really, he was hoping you'd say yes. You usually say yes.

What happened to 'You're always have a home here' ?

What happened to 'You're always welcome here'?

Sometimes, in the days when he feels a little bit to much, overstimulated and tired of the life of fame he has chosen, his mind automatically thinks of you. Phone involuntarily in hand and scrolling to a familiar number. Tries to call it (even if overseas call cost a lot, and that's fine he can pay) but feel a pang of something unexplained when the call is not picked up.

"Oh yeah, yeah I get it. It's fine you must be busy."

He tries to counter himself. Bullshit, he can book a tour if you were busy, you can go to work, and he'll wait for you to get home, nothing wrong with that.

You tells him you need to go. That you can continue to catch up soon. But you both know if he doesn't start, nowadays, you never do.

Maybe that's what distance does, he thinks.

Maybe that's what trying to get away from the masochistic tendencies for him meant, you think.

---------------------------------------------------

It's the off season months. News of MSBY players not renewing their contracts has been dominating the news. Hinata Shoyo opts to play for Brazil. Sakusa opts to sign with Italia. No news of other starting players -- and Bokuto is still at a cross roads. He has a few options-- to renew of course, a position with another European team (Italy with Kageyama and Sakusa; Poland with Ushijima) , and an offer from a country where you, but you don't need to know that too. No one does.

He remembers asking his sister. If she has been in contact with you. Apparently she does. He is not that dumb to not be able to put two and two together.

"Maybe she's making her own peace, you know?" She lightly says.

Still, he stares at their conversations, not really as long as they were before, only sometimes when you wished him luck. Other than that, it's like... What? One sentence answers before you say good bye for work?

He wants to feel betrayed and mad. Was it really that unforgiveable not being able to reciprocate to be punished like this? But is he really the only reason? People just drift apart, he guesses.

"I just thought it would be a better closure than this. Like I'm not some dude you just cut off that easily, because we're different", he types one day, out of frustration when he saw Akaashi's phone screen notify of a familiar number.

He deletes the message on his own phone before he even has the balls to send it.

---------------------------------------------------

Life is better. You tried to bargain, got what you wanted and you're doing better. Walking alone with zero thoughts but dinner is refreshing. How long was it? You hate to admit it, but, you're starting to forget his face now or at least the little details of it. You can't forget that day of course, but it doesn't really hurt like before. You've learned to forgive, you love him of course, you never won't, but you've also made peace with it. You're here if he needs you, he's there when you do, you'll stay whatever he wants to be and life will be life.

You spoke to soon apparently.

Because the oxygen feels a little too scarce, your chest banging when you see a familiar mountaineering backpack and tufts of hair facing away from you and checking back and forth on what seems to be an address from his phone. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet in front of your apartment door. He's bigger; still has his passport on his hands.

He just got here. That's obvious.

"Kou? " You softly call and he turns around. Eyes wide, and you hug your groceries tighter, gripping your keys tighter. He's here. You want to deny it but the swelling in your chest becomes obvious. You miss him. A lot. So much.

"Hi." Is what he only says before pocketing his passport in a desperate attempt to move because your eyes are freezing him. Maybe he shouldn't be here. Maybe he should have called first.

"I just.. I was just passing b- I really didn't think... I... Japan has really been overwhelming."

There is a sound of defeat and sadness in his voice and you feels sorry for him. But how about you? He overwhelms you but at the same time, you know that deep down you would have done the same. You place your groceries down the hall and open your arms to him, he looks like he's about to cry, the wetness in his eyes are obvious as he goes to you, trying to tuck himself in you. You feel wetness in the sides of your neck and a sniffle. He almost squeezes the life out of you, breathing you in. There's a lot of things he wants to say but all that comes out are hiccups muffled by the collars of your shirt. He feels you hug him back tighter, trying to soothe his back and rocking him back side to side.

It goes on for a couple more minutes before he subsides, but he doesn't budge. You gently pry him off of you, his face in both of your hands, his eyes red, puffy and tired looking at you tenderly,

"I get it. Come on in. "