#they are. not the brightest people. and honestly probably believe this is something that could work

[apollos-boyfriend]

so my younger cousin is flying in to visit from brazil on sunday, and will be staying here for like, the entirety of july. which, don't get me wrong, is super cool! i love the kid! but it felt like a super weird move, considering his parents are the SUPER strict and borderline helicopter parents. even the smallest prank/roughousing with him/his little sister would lead to a strict talking to from his parents, he couldn't ever do anything without their clear permission, that sort of stuff. so letting him fly at alone at 16 to a whole different country and stay there for a whole month seemed WILDLY out of character. additionally, it just felt like a super last-minute trip. it's not like we have any plans to do when he gets here, and the flight itself and stuff only got booked like, midway through june.

and i was talking to my mom about it, kind of trying to nudge some answers out of her, and after a while she went, "yeah, i think they're sending him over here to get away for his boyfriend. see if the distance breaks them off." which, first of all, surprised me because last i checked, they didn't KNOW he had a boyfriend. literally everyone in the family did EXCEPT for them because while that entire side of the family being semi-conservative, his parents (mostly his dad) are EXTREMELY old-fashioned. so clearly something already went wrong. and considering the only reason the rest of the family knew is because one person found out and it spread like wildfire, i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the one to tell them, either.

and second of all. they're sending him HERE. to try to make him forget his homosexuality. i couldn't do anything but just wordlessly gesture to the multiple pride flags scattered around my room, then to myself, because really? he has like two other cousins in the us and they're sending him to me? honey i am about to introduce this kid to queer scenes you have never even heard of. he'll be returning home with labels only shrimp can perceive

[pressureplus]

this blog is the goat i love it sm :) totally get if it's too much but i'd love drunk seb headcanons. thnx ❤️

LOVELY, YOUVE GOT THE BIGGEST BRAIN ANON /POS

♡Drunk Sebastian Solace Headcannons♡

Warnings: Intoxication, Warnings to not Fuck The Fish™️, Brief Sexual Content

◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟���୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟◞꒷◟ ͜ ͜ ◞ྀི◟୨୧◞ྀི◟ ͜ ͜ ◞꒷◟

First off, getting him drunk isn’t gonna be easy

His body is significantly bigger so it’ll take a lot more alcohol than a normal human person

That and he could already hold his drinks well, so it’ll take some work to get that man actually drunk instead of just buzzed

Don’t try to match him drink for drink, you WILL die of alcohol poisoning unless you’re an alcoholic

Which wouldn’t matter he’d still out drink you based on weight/size alone, so I guess try not to die is the only goal?

Doesn’t feel comfortable drunk around most people unless you’re BOTH that kind of tipsy or he’s already close with you

When you do actually get him drunk?

The flirtiest, giggliest drunk you’re ever met

Sebastian will laugh at literally everything, it makes him so much easier to talk with

The world is sunshine and rainbows as long as he’s really fucked up

Honestly? He deserves it. He’ll smile at you so softly and actually fully listen when you talk. Maybe he’s not the brightest, or most talkative, but he has weirdly good advice

Though he is super giggly and playful, he does flirt

Usually they’re kind of fun. They’re not meant to really invoke any real feelings

“Hey there hot stuff, you lookin for a chair?” As he pats a portion of his tail.

He WILL forget that he flirted with you later, so don’t try to corner him on it as some kind of gotcha moment. He won’t believe you.

It also doesn’t reflect his feelings entirely…well unless he really likes you.

He’ll get a bit tongue tied and may even let it slip that he thinks you’re just gorgeous

His flirting gets very personal if he has a thing for you, but it’s less frequent because the man is too busy squirming from just sitting with you

Think flustered school girl energy

If he likes you he will do ANYTHING you ask

Please don’t try to fuck the fish, he isn’t very smart and he’s not gonna be able to top you

You’d have to do 100% of the work, and he wouldn’t remember most of it tomorrow anyway

He will probably just fall into a fit of giggles at the offer, honestly, so the likelihood of it happening is like nothing

So unless you’re both so drunk you’re not thinking straight? Don’t do it. Dont even try it.

If he doesn’t like you in that way? You might actually die for attempting it. It’s not worth it.

Speaking of not worth it, that man loses so much motor function. His tail is apparently weirdly hard to control all the way

Will prefer to just sit with you and not go anywhere as he will not have the control necessary to do damn near anything

He tried only once to go do something while really fucked up

Stupid fishman got stuck in a vent for a few hours

Worst experience of his life, (drunk fishman claims) he would never ever do it again

He’s the kind of man that sings when he’s drunk too, but only if you do it with him. He mimics like a parrot.

Or if you manage to play songs with him somehow, he might sing them if he vibes with or knows the song

Get a man to sing your favorite songs horribly at an octave that outright hurts

Idk something like California Girls by Katy Perry? Have fun with it

He can’t exactly dance really well but he might do a fun little shimmy if the music pleases him enough

Have fun doing your shared little dances, drinking to forget (always remembering), and laughing about nonsense

I’m sure, as long as you get him something strong and a whole lot of it

The both of you will get along fine!

After all, he likes people that get him gifts like this a little more

[gay-dorito-dust]

HEYYYY

Soo I'm here to rq another Damian x reader(platonic). But real quick, I'm sorry if I'm requesting too much or being a nuisance. Pls lmk if I am so I can stop! It's just hard to find somebody that writes for him like dis.

Anyways, basically the same thing were theyre friends but this time it's a diff scenario. So Damian n reader are obvi friends but theyre also complete oposites. Like Damian is intelegent, focused and meanwhile has reader is a bit dumber, daydreams too much, and kinder. They also get walked over a lot.

So he invites reader over to the manor and she meets his brothers n dad. It's all fine n dandy but they can't help but notice how diff they are.

Bonus points if reader talks positively abt him to his brothers and they're all like "fym he's nice?" And readers all like "fym he isnt?" (They're just not used to being treated like a normal human being) ‼️

Honestly I love writing for platonic! Damian. So pls don’t apologise for anything bc I’m having so much fun rn. 🦦plus I don’t know if this will read well as I’ve written this late at night when o should probably be in bed.

‘Am I seeing things or has Damian finally made a friend.’ Dick whispered to Jason, his eyes unable to tear his eyes away from you and Damian followed Bruce through the manor.

‘Nope, I’m definitely seeing it too.’ Jason replied also looking at you and Damian as if he was looking at the human personifications of night and day.

‘The fact that the demon spawn managed to get a friend sure is…something.’ Tim piped up, having overheard his brothers conversation from standing in between them. ‘I can only hope he didn’t kidnap the poor soul.’ Dick added as he was quick to click onto how Damian kept a hand on your arm, tugging and pulling you along when you stop to stare at a painting in awe for a little too long, gently encouraging you to keep up with him and Bruce by promising to go back to the painting later. Jason then looked over at Tim, ‘any ideas on who they are?’ Tim shrugged. ‘Only the fact that they go to the same school as Damian, share the same art classes and is known for being a little bit of a daydreaming pushover, but despite all that they’re still a kind person.’

Dick smiled sympathetically as his heart ached for you. It wasn’t easy being nice in a city like Gotham, if anything nice ever wandered into the accursed city it seemed as though Gotham itself would stop at nothing to see it destroyed, decimated and become as miserable and as bleak as the city itself; So it was rare to find someone who genuinely could still bring it in themselves to smile whilst in a city like this. And for that Dick had to give you props for being brave enough -and strong enough- to be kind in a place that would gladly take pleasure in stepping over and on you at any inconvenience. For it was truly a sign of bravery at its finest.

‘That kid is sure brave.’ Jason signed, knowing that people like you don’t last in Gotham but it was people like you that Gotham needed the most, but how could a retched place like Gotham heal when it’s always been a rotten city since it’s very conception? He didn’t believe it could be possible but there were always solutions to fighting the problem that seemed impossible to overcome. So who cares if you weren’t the brightest bulb at school? The education system in Gotham was shit anyway the last time he checked and he doubted much had changed when he…well you know…

Tim was silent. He was too busy recognising the protective measures that Damian was taking specifically for you; mainly the hand tugging at your arm anytime he thought you were getting distracted or wandering off elsewhere and muttering about how you need to keep or you’ll get left behind, despite the fact that even if you did Damian would allow himself to fall behind just so that he could walk besides you. While he might be part of the majority that didn’t think he’s ever see the day that Damian brought a friend home, never less a friend who was the total opposite of him. He couldn’t help but feel a sort of relief that Damian finally found a friend, and he knew that both Jason and Dick felt similarly from the looks upon their faces, silently observing how you interact with one another.

The one thing that Tim was confident in was the fact that Damian needed you as much as you needed Damian because you were a beacon of opportunity for his younger brother in many ways that Tim was certain you weren’t made aware of just yet. So while he and his brothers may tease and take this piss about how different you were from Damian, they mean well and express their happiness the only way they knew best; teasing and taking the piss.

‘This library is beautiful Mr Wayne! Do you have any fantasy books?’ You could be heard asking down the hallway, followed by the sound of Bruce softly laughing as he showed you the grand library. ‘This library has any book you can think of and please call me Bruce, it’s not often that Damian brings anyone home for the weekend.’ He says as you looked the Damian confused and a little betrayed. ‘You’ve got friends other than me?’

Damian groaned. ‘No. I don’t, you’re the only friend I’m willing myself to have.’

You smiled and gripped his hand. ‘Aww Dami! That’s so sweet of you to say, despite how brash and blunt you may come across, I’m glad to say that you’re the only friend I’m willing to have too!’ You said without shame. ‘Everyone else isn’t a nice as you are.’ You trailed off while a rare solemn look appeared upon your face as Damian was quick to squeeze your hand reassuringly, Bruce smiled sympathetically. ‘I’m not smart like your son mr Wayne, I can’t help it if things don’t come to me as easy as they do others but I try! I try really heard to do my best at every test but…but people tend to laugh of me because to them I’m either slow or thick.’ Damian’s jaw clenched and his brows furrowed upon being remembered of what people tended to call you.

He hated it and whenever he saw it happen, he was quick to utter some threatening words before taking his usual position as your pseudo-bodyguard for the rest of the school day. At first he wasn’t bothered but when you became restless in your pursuit of being his friend, he remembered vividly how people were mocking and making fun of you for trying to be his friend, that he often regrets not accepting your friendship sooner if it meant being able to be there when it counts.

‘When will you get it that Damian doesn’t want to be friends with someone like you.’ One person said.

‘Then I’ll just have to keep trying.’ You rebutted, still smiling somehow.

Another person scoffs. ‘Get fucking real. You’re a weirdo, no one wants to be friends with a weirdo who so fucking slow at everything.’

You merely shrugged, even when someone’s insulting you, your brain doesn’t recognises it as such. ‘I’m sure he won’t mind.’

‘God you’re so fucking useless that I’m surprised that anyone bothers with you. Let me say this in a way you won’t have to try so hard to understand dipshit. Damian. Will. Never. Be. Friends. With. Someone. Like. You. Ever.’ A third slowly spoke and Damian had heard enough and within a blink of an eye had laid them out flat. You blinked before looking at Damian with a bright smile. ‘Hi Damian! Did you hurt these guys, that’s not very nice.’

‘They insulted you and yet you defend their honour.’ Damian asked incredulously as you both walked down the hallway, leaving the three bullies to groan from their injuries. You shrugged. ‘I wouldn’t say that.’

‘They were insulting you.’ Damian reiterated. ‘They insulted your intelligence and your abilities. People like them often hide bigger insecurities than others.’ Damian replied, finding your ability to keep smiling after such things both annoying as it was admirable.

‘Are we friends now?’ You asked innocently enough and Damian knew he had sealed his fate, and so he sighs and looks up to the ceiling. ‘Yes, we’re…friends.’ He mutters and doesn’t do anything to stop you from dragging him to art class.

‘I was alone before Damian.’ You admitted as you looked at Bruce with a smile as you squeezed Damian’s hand in kind. ‘But now he’s here and he’s my bestest friend ever!’ Damian honestly wishes that you respect yourself more because you could claim that he saved you multiple times, but you’d never acknowledge the times where you have saved him by being unequivocally kind, sweet and over all a better person then all of Gotham’s civilians combined. ‘I was finding my first week at school horrid before I befriended l/n.’ Damian admitted as you softly cooed. The boy then swallows thickly. ‘Their friendship is much appreciated.’

‘Aww! Dami!’ You cried as you crashed into him, causing you both to hit the floor in a heap of limbs.

While Damian was cursing mom lethal threats and you were laughing, Bruce had already made his mind up about you and was certain to make sure to have Damian invite you over as much as possible. It was obvious for him to see that you and Damian were good for each other despite your vast and glaring differences, however that’s what worked in your favour, the power to have over come all odds was incredible; not to mention the fact that your friendship with Damian had lasted as long as it has was another impressive feet on top of that. Bruce knows it’s been hard for Damian to fit in and find a friend, but he couldn’t have made a better friend than he did in the likes of you.

You were more than defiantly welcomed back to the manor if Bruce had anything to say about it.

‘Get off of me!’ Damian shouts.

‘Damian, I think my foot is stuck with yours.’ You reply, scared.

‘That’s your own foot- how did you manage to tangle yourself up in yourself? You landed onto of me?’ Damian asked incredulously.

‘Sorry.’ You apologised.

‘Don’t be.’ Damian said.

Bruce smiled one last time before leaving you both alone in the library to untangle yourselves, only to be greeted by Tim, Dick and Jason. ‘Can I help you three?’ Bruce raised an eyebrow at the boys.

‘Nope.’ Dick started.

‘Not really, just…seeing how the little scamps are dealing.’ Jason followed after.

‘Damian? Nice? The same Damian who tried to, oh I don’t know…KILL ME?!’ Tim asked, revealing to Bruce all he needed to know, their breathing behind the library door was telling that they were clearly eavesdropping on the three of you. Jason and Dick looked at him displeased as Tim looked back at them. ‘I’m not the only one of us who thought that.’ He defended himself. ‘I mean it’s nice that he’s looking out for y/n but still that’s not something someone casually forgets.’

Bruce merely leaves Tim, Dick and Jason to their own quarrel, he loves his boys he truly does, but sometimes they’re more trouble than what they’re worth. He can only hope that they don’t scare you off from coming back for good because he was already planning your next visit.

[kisskiss-slashslash]

Slasher’s Reactions if you playfully call them “My Hero”

Jason Voorhees

All he does is get something from a high shelf for you. He built his shack for someone his size, and there are few people who can ever reach him in the height department, so he has to do that for you fairly often. But this time you give him your brightest smile and playfully call him your hero.

Jason lights up like a christmas tree the moment the words have left your mouth. He grew up believing that he could only ever be the villain in any story, the beast without the transformation at the end, and that only conventionally pretty people can be heroes, so someone seeing him as a hero, even if it is for something as small as getting something from the top shelf, makes him feel on top of the world.

Vincent Sinclair

Ambrose is full of spiders. Most of them harmless, but you aren’t about to look close enough to find out if this one is dangerous or not. Vincent sees you freeze, and his eye wanders down to where you are looking. His heavy boot comes down on the eight-legged fiend, and you breathe a sight of relief. Then you almost jump into his arms and mumble “Thank you, my hero” into the crook of his neck with a small chuckle.

He freezes for a moment, trying to comprehend what you just said. Him? A Hero? Despite everything he does? His heart just melts. He is going to keep this word in his head for days. Hell, you probably made his entire year with this one comment.

Freddy Krueger

Having a nightmare for a boyfriend had the pleasant side-effect that ordinary nightmares are usually short-lived. Freddy is the only one allowed to make you scream at night, thankyouverymuch. So when Freddy breaks through a particularly nasty nightmare, you are more than relieved. You grin at him suggestively. “So, what kind of reward does my hero want?”

His eyes widen for a split second, then darken with promises of a long and exhausting night. “Maybe a chance to prove just how much of a villain I actually am.”

He is honestly a little offended. He is quite happy being a villain and a monster. But hey, if playing the hero once or twice gets him certain favors from you, he juuuuust might do it more often.

Brahms Heelshire

You heard Brahms call for you and are now rushing through the huge Heelshire estate, trying to get to him and see what he needs as fast as possible. But your own feet decide to turn against you, and just two steps from the ground, you slip and fall.

You have no idea how he managed to be by your side so quickly, but next thing you know, your face is buried in Brahms’ hairy chest, while he carefully sets you back down on your feet.

A nervous chuckle escapes your lips. “Thank you, Brahms. That could have gone badly.” You press a kiss onto his masked face. “For my hero.”

His whole body shakes with giggles. “If I’m the hero, does that make you the prince/ss I have to protect?”

He throws himself into the idea, which certainly doesn’t help with his usual clingyness.

[iamqueenpotato]

I Hate That I Love You.

Azriel x Reader

A/N- Honestly this is probably the most I've written consecutively in quite some time, I'm still working on other ideas but I felt angsty and was listening to hate u love u by Olivia O'Brien on repeat so this came to be 🙃 I hope you guys enjoy it! I greatly appreciate all of your guys support, you are seriously the best ❤️

Summary: Y/N has been best friends with Azriel for years, yet she had always hidden her feelings for the shadowsinger, but now she is forced to watch him be in love with someone else.

⚠️: Angst(that is all)

Word Count: 2.3k

Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven

Maybe you were heartbroken because he was the one you cared for the most. And maybe it was because you watched as he fell in love and you became nothing but a forgotten object on a shelf. He was supposed to be your best friend, but things changed. Though you never expected to be one of them.

There is nothing that would make you forget him, but he was happy and you would hate yourself if you said you couldn’t be happy for him. The past you shared was there, and it is something you would cherish in your life forever, but people venture down different paths and he was going somewhere you could not follow. You hated that you wanted him, needed him. But he was the one that showed you a life that you never thought possible. And what life would that be if he no longer was a part of it? It was a thought you never worried you would have. But now it was becoming your reality and you reluctantly accepted it. You didn't have any other option.

You thought constantly of the days the two of you spent talking about ambitions. Your fears. Each moment and secret shared was a gift, but now all you could do was reminisce.

You two had something that you simply will not find with anyone else. The feelings came with time, and you did a good job hiding them, though there were days you thought he felt the same. Yet you were too afraid of ruining that friendship that you cherished. He was your comfort when you had nowhere else to go when those nightmares would threaten to tear you apart. He was always there. Like he said he would be. And you only could hope you were that person to him as well. You could only hope you meant something to him.

But now, watching him create new memories with her, overlooking you and all that you had shared. It pained you to see him. To think about him.

In the past he would seek you out, always asking you to spend the day with him. It all seemed so distant now. And you attempted every day to see him, asking Azriel to help you with your form, or even just to walk around Velaris to talk about anything but with each attempt you were met with rejection, saying that he was busy or that Elain and he had plans. And each time it only caused the heartache to grow.

You tried to forget him. To move on from what your heart ached for so badly. That connection the two of you shared, though there was no mating bond, the thread between you and him seemed it would last forever. But now you knew how wrong you were.

The days had come and gone and you began forcing yourself to ignore everything about him. But it became difficult when you saw him in every single thing that you did. The nights you would play cards with your friends, your mind only drifted to memories of games you and Azriel would sit so close to each other scheming against the rest of the group. How his hand always drifted close to yours, the way it made your heart skip a beat. It was days like those you truly started to believe you were not alone. He brought a certain bliss to you. It was as though that light inside you finally found its source. But even the brightest lights start to dim.

And maybe it wasn't fair to him for you to have such thoughts, to rely on him for so much but your heart was his whether you wanted it to be or not. It was screaming for you to say something, to tell him how you felt, to tell him you missed him. But your mind held the restraints so tightly around your heart because even though it made sense, no matter how badly you wanted him, you could never ruin his happiness. So you had no other choice but to watch as he disappeared from your hold, from your life, your mind.

There was an emptiness in your soul where he used to be. Yet it felt as if you were slowly being replaced. As if he only planned to keep you around until something better came around. You could only watch it happen, he was never yours, and you had no place in his heart as Elain does. The agony of it was heavy and unavoidable.

You hadn’t seen him for weeks now, and the torment of being anywhere near him was becoming too great, the rest of your friends began to notice, and when they asked why you haven’t been around, you would always respond with the same lame excuse of being tired. Though you knew they didn’t believe you, they didn’t pry, and you could thank them for that, you weren’t ready to explain to them that the male you loved dearly was in love with another female. And he doesn’t even know.

Late in the night, you heard a knock on your door, you assumed it was either Mor or Nesta, wanting you to come to drink more, and you were prepared to tell them no thanks. But when you opened the door, hazel eyes greeted you, shadows swarming Azriel’s body like a cloak. Your lips parted in surprise, his entire appearance seemed disheveled. “Why have you been avoiding me?” He questioned.

“I haven’t.” You responded quickly. “I am tired Azriel.” You began to close your door but he slammed his hand against the wood, using his arm to keep it open. You weren’t going to fight it, so you let him in, hoping he’d ignore the mess around your room. You had been too distraught to clean at all.

He closed the door behind him, his shadows illuminated by the fire you had burning. “Are you going to tell me why?” He asked again.

“There is nothing to tell.” You spoke from where you were seated along your bed. You couldn’t look at him, not when he didn’t look at you the same.

“Look at me, Y/N. Ever since Elain and I got together you’ve been acting different-” He started, and that is when you lifted your head to look at him, your jaw clenched, brows furrowed. He had no right to say you were different when he was the one who acted like your friendship was a minuscule thing in his life recently.

“Different?” You spat. You were standing now, fists clenched at your sides. “You have to be kidding.” You laughed bitterly. And Azriel looked at you taken aback by the sudden anger in your voice. “You don’t give a damn about me. At least not anymore.” Your voice was raised, and you figured the louder you were, the emotions that filled your entire being wouldn’t stop the words from spilling out. The ones that needed to be said. “I watched day and night as you sat there staring at her like she’s the only girl you’ve ever seen. While I sat there alone, waiting for my best friend, waiting for you to act as if I existed. I am happy for you Az I am, but how could you never notice that you were slowly killing me?”

“What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?” He went to reach for you but stepped back, away from his hands, he didn’t get to comfort you anymore. “Talk to me, please.” He pleaded.

“I hate that I love you.” You choked out, the tears were warm as they fell down your face. He stared at you and the confession you had just put out there, his hazel eyes wide, followed by an unsure glance, you could tell there were words he wanted to share but he held his tongue. “I hate that I miss you even though I feel used. When you first started showing interest in Elain I let it go, I told myself I would be happy no matter what but you began to disregard me, and it hurt Az. Watching you fall for someone else broke me. Maybe I'm selfish, or maybe I am crazy. And you are my best friend. Though now I am not sure I can be when the pain of seeing you with someone else consumes me.” You looked at him through the tears that blurred your vision, his face had gone pale, but his hazel eyes stood out as they stared directly at you.

“Nothing would change what you are to me, no one could. But-” Azriel paused as if he was choosing his next words carefully. “She is who I am with now, and that means most of my time will be spent with her.” Azriel clenched his fists at his sides, his gaze now fixed on his feet. “Why are you only telling me this now? Y/N, how long have you felt like this?” Azriel spoke quietly but you could hear the faint crack in his tone. You couldn’t tell if there was anger in his voice or even disappointment. Or it was something completely different, you couldn't tell. His face was stoic, wearing the mask that you thought you cracked a long time ago.

You blinked the tears away. You knew rejection like the back of your hand but this, from him, was something completely different. You could only wonder if death was a better fate than this. His words had confirmed the one thing you never wanted to accept. “I will never be her. I will never be the one you love. Will I? I cannot put anybody else above you, yet you have no issue putting me below someone else. I didn’t want to ruin what we had. Azriel our friendship meant so much to me, and I couldn’t let foolish feelings I developed years ago take that away. And I knew this would happen eventually, I knew you would find someone that wasn't me but I never thought it would hurt this much.”

“Y/N-” His voice was hoarse as if the tears he tried so hard to keep at bay would fall at any moment. As quickly as that mask was replaced, it began slipping once more, showing you the vulnerable side that you had fallen in love with all those years ago.

“Don’t. I can’t do this, not anymore, not when it pains me to see you, not when I know you will never love me the same way I love you.” Your voice was too calm, though the tears never ceased.

“Y/N I am sorry, please you are important to me, I need you. Don't say you’ll leave.” A single tear rolled down his cheek, he moved closer to you, and you wanted to back away from his touch but you would give him this moment. And maybe it was because you needed it too, knowing you would never feel it again after tonight. He placed a tender hand along your jaw, you could feel the slight tremble from him against your skin. You didn’t want this to be the end, but everything was different and maybe it was time for you to change too.

You gently laid your hand atop his scarred one. “I will always want what is best for you Azriel. And I hope things work out between you and Elain. I hope you are happy. But I can no longer be a part of your life, it is too much, my heart can't take it.”

“Please don’t Y/N, don’t say that, I am sorry, I will do better.” His other hand moved to cup the other side of your face, and fresh tears fell from the both of you.

“You said it yourself Az, she is who you’re with now. Your time is preoccupied. There is nothing more I want than to stay, but you won’t even notice I’m gone. I will not put myself through anymore more suffering. Especially when I know I could never be the one that you would choose. I can’t sit back and watch as the one I love, loves another.” You removed his hands from your face. He dropped them to his sides, parting his lips as though he was about to speak but you knew there was nothing left to say. “I am sorry Azriel.” You stepped away from him, making your way towards the door, and as you opened it you looked back at him, he didn’t say a word, only staring at you with sorrowful eyes. Begging you not to leave, he outstretched a hand toward you, in one last attempt to keep you there but you walked through the door, closing it behind you. You took off running. Leaving him alone in your room, you heard the door swing open with force, his footsteps behind you.

“Y/N please stop!” He called out.

But you didn't. You ran through the hallway, past the kitchen where your friends were still up conversing with one another. You heard Feyre call out to you but you kept moving. And once you were outside, you winnowed yourself away, appearing next to a stream in the middle of the woods. You didn't know where you were but it was far enough to where no one would find you, where no one would hear you. You slammed up your mental walls, making sure to keep everything out.

You dropped to your knees and screamed. You screamed to the stars until your throat hurt. Your body was numb. But yet it still ached for him, even though the two of you were only ever a broken dream.

Taglist: @honestlywtfisgoingon @marina468 @positivewitch @maviee @blurredlamplight @bookslut420 @elle10 @dragonstoneprincess

[yuseirra]

I went and jotted down my thoughts after having written my previous post. I brought a translation for it! It goes a little more into detail.

Just a moment, I was referencing the official manga volumes for the fan comic I'm drawing. In chapter 72, Ruby says something in front of Ai's grave:

'You know, about Aqua... He seems a little brighter these days. Like something that was possessing him has fallen away.'

This was the moment when Aqua decided to stop seeking revenge and live a normal life. At that time, Aqua's star-shaped eyes disappeared, and he returned to having normal eyes.

I’ve mentioned it many times, but the stars are essentially the gods of this manga. There are constant references to "stars dwelling within the eyes", or the idea of "being a reincarnation of the brightest star" in both IDOL and Fatal.

When the stars dwell within, it seems to grant some sort of special power. The term 'dwelling' or 'possessed' implies that they are entities acting with intention, or at least some kind of force is at work.

This manga often brings up gods, right? And the gods that were directly mentioned, if I remember correctly, were in chapter 144. There were four distinct gods, and gods who didn’t realize they were gods (this seems to be in plural form).

This is important. It means these gods will play some role in the story.

The god who created the world. God who brought forth the concept of souls. God who love absurdity and unreasonableness. God who loves people.

There are gods who don't realize they are gods as well.

I believe the characters from the Hoshino family are most likely those who don’t know they are gods. Their stories align too closely with mythology. Ruby once said she was Amaterasu, and Ai had been associated with Ame-no-Uzume (whether she was possessed by that god or was the god herself, it seems the phrase, "the reincarnation of a star" that's been used to describe her indicates that she was likely a manifestation of that god. She's probably also that star that the speaker in the songs longs for and pursues to bring back to life/become into). Kamiki’s name even has 'god' in it, and he has many parallels with Ame-no-Uzume's husband. In mythology, Sarutahiko is a deity who governs the land, and helps guide people so they don't get lost, which is why people pray to him for traffic safety. He’s also a shining god whose body radiates light, an indigenous solar god before Amaterasu. Aqua’s name matches Susanoo, Amaterasu’s brother, who is the god of the sea.

There’s something up, right? I’m sure of it.

Right now, the plot is so intense and moves so fast that it’s hard to get emotionally invested... Haha. It’s becoming harder to create content because I need to immerse myself in the character’s emotions to be able to draw something. Honestly, I feel really sad because hearing the spoilers has shattered my immersion. I could stay immersed up to chapter 159, but just hearing about the spoilers for chapter 160, it felt like the story was moving too quickly... I’ve never seen a manga so much like a soap opera before. Maybe it’ll be fine when I see it in the drawings, but for now, I might need to take a break because I can't get back into that emotional space.

But aside from that, there’s definitely something going on about the star- eyes in the manga.

Kamiki seems to be swayed by it. In the past, he suffered because of it, and it’s unclear whether he’s currently using it to his advantage or relying on it to revive Ai. But if you look at the lyrics of Mephisto, it seems more like the latter.

Based on my analysis of that character, there's actually really high chance of him just being a really pitiable guy who's been suffering upon having lost Ai tragically, probably in all this to get his lover back. He’s definitely the type who would do anything for Ai because he genuinely loves her. The black star is somehow intertwined with him. If we compare this story to mythology and find the parallels with it, the god that corresponds to him is actually a really benevolent one. He’s a god who protects and helps people. The virtuous god. He's also very powerful, the head of the earthly gods and is respected and worshiped by many.

I don’t think this is a coincidence. If Ai wanted to help him, it would make sense if he's like that in essence.

He was originally a good person, right? It seems like something went out of their way to corrupt him and ruin his life.

The lyrics of 'Fatal' even say that a capricious star messed up the speaker's life. There are lyrics that mention of "creative downfall from heaven" or something like that. The lyrics are really strange. And in 'Mephisto,' there’s a line saying, 'I forgot who I am,' right? I think this character is a god who doesn’t know they’re a god.

Everything fits.

Isn’t this it? Isn’t the main mission of the protagonists assigned by the gods tied to saving their father then? The more I think about it, the more convinced I am.

If this isn’t the case, where is the story even headed? What evidence is there that Kamiki is really evil and the mastermind behind everything? Am I missing something? Wasn’t he originally a good person? From what I’ve seen, his personality was so good that he even helped improve Ai’s character. He didn’t just not get angry, he seemed incapable of being so.

When you look at his actions, he seems like someone who keeps smiling through unbearable situations. You really need to pay attention to the scenes where he smiles because that smile might not be a real one at all. That’s why I’m convinced that his expressions in chapter 154 were genuine. That chapter showed his true nature.

I really think I’m right. I’m usually pretty good at reading psychology, and with everything fitting together like this, I think this is where the story is headed, don’t you agree?

Honestly, it’s really hard to create fan content right now. The current situation is very messy so it’s difficult to focus on drawing something sentimental or wholesome between the characters.

But I feel like the clues related to the gods are starting to unravel. I think this all makes sense. It’s not like there haven’t been hints sprinkled in along the way.

[classificationhell]

Random thought just came to me and I need to know, which characters would be best at handling a little that due to sensory issues has to keep their hair cut relatively short? Like, when it comes time to cut their hair they are pretty much having a meltdown because the process of getting their hair cut is stressful to them.

Alastor: He has his own issues and understands the needs of others, he just frequently ignores them for his own amusement. However, as a Caregiver with a Little he doesn't want to do anything that might stress them out. He'll also learn how to cut their hair himself not trusting anyone else with something so precious to him. (It'll take him a bit to equate them to more than highly cherished pet, but he's getting there.) He'd ease them into it and try and make the whole experience as quick and easy as possible. He wouldn't get mad at them for having a meltdown, or even throwing a tantrum, it's not purposeful and they are a Little after all so they are prone to more emotional reactions. He doesn't invalidate how they feel, but at the same time knows this needs to be done. Will give them a treat afterwards, he's a firm believer in anything too sugary being a rare treat, and make sure the rest of the day is as easy on their sensory issues as possible whatever that may entail.

Vox: He may be busy and a bit of a dick to his employees and even partners at times, but he does have a desire to care for someone. He handles it well only in comparison to most of hell's Caregivers. How does he handle it? Well his hypnotism comes in handy when there's something that they can't help but makes things difficult. Like Alastor he doesn't get mad or shout at them despite whatever they do. He can get slightly frustrated but he'll save it to take out on his employees. Hey I said he was good to his Little not other people lol

Lucifer: He'd use his magic and humor to distract them while also using a portion of his magic to cut their hair. The neat thing about magic is the only limit of its capability is ones imagination and Lucifer has a very good one. Using it to secretly give you a trim is simpler than anything else he does with it. While Charlie had never had sensory issues quite like them there were things she wasn't fond of that he had to help with making fun and enjoyable as possible, and the principles learned there could come in handy here. If they get upset or have a meltdown he'll be quick to comfort them, but in all honestly it'd be difficult given how fast he can do it, especially with a bit of practice.

Alternatively the People who would be having a tough time with it

Charlie: She's not proficient in magic like her father and while she cares so so so much that's precisely what makes it difficult. Has to end up enlisting Vaggie's help and it becomes a bigger thing than it probably should. There's plenty of whatever they need or want after, treats or cuddles or whatever they like, and she tries her best to figure out how to deal with things. When her dad is working on repairing their bond Grandpappy Lucifer is tasked with helping out on haircut day and things go much smoother.

Sir Pentious:.... someone help this poor well-meaning snake man. He has no idea what to do or how to react. They need their hair cut but they also actively don't want it cut?! He's trying to calm you down but is having about as much success with it as with his "battles" with Alastor. He's frustrated and trying his best. The egg bois are also trying their best to help but they aren't the brightest. "Did the scissors scare you bro/sis?" "Do you want us to rough them up a bit?" *puts up their dukes and jabs at the air* "Mr. Boss man should launch a war on scissors!"

[rphelperblog]

Cress Book Quote Rp Meme

book three in the LC series by Marissa Meyer- feel free to edit quotes or change pronouns for rp purposes

“I promise, I will not let you die without being kissed.”

“Don’t tell me it took you two whole days to realize that you are in love with me. I must be losing my touch.”

“You can help me pick out a tiara when we’re done saving the world.”

“Right. I’m sure that poor etiquette is the number one reason for most failed revolutions.”

"I know you can hear me. I'm sorry my friend is such a wing nut. You can just ignore him."

"Do you think it was destiny that brought us together?"

"It starts with kidnapping the groom."

"The sky is gorgeous, intense blue color."

“Have you given any thought to your wedding vows?”

“Delete anything that has to do with love, respect, or joy, and I’ll sign on the dotted line.”

“I believe it is the mark of a great leader to question the decisions that came before him.”

“It turns out you are worth a lot of money on the black market.”

"Do you ever think before you speak?"

“Maybe great, epic romances don't just happen. We have to make them ourselves.”

“Wow, when you research, you really research, don't you?”

“So I’m going there, and I’m going to start a revolution.”

“If you honestly believe that then you really don't recognize true value when you see it.”

"Oh. Um. In a constellation, the brightest star is called the alpha. I thought maybe you meant that she's…like…your brightest star.

“Maybe there isn’t such a thing as fate. Maybe it’s just the opportunities we’re given, and what we do with them. I’m beginning to think that maybe great, epic romances don’t just happen. We have to make them ourselves.”

“You know, when I was a kid, I was tricked into thinking that princesses wore tiaras and hosted tea parties. Now that I've met a real princess, I must say, I'm kind of disappointed.”

"Is she blushing? She sounds like she's blushing."

"That is the best idea ever. Count me in.”

"Can we get back to these soldiers that are being rounded up, please?"

“Could you describe all those threats again because I feel like I missed something.”

"Very wanted criminal of me too.”

"Are you having a mental breakdown right now?”

"Maybe there's a little bit of a hero in me after all. But… really. Only a little.”

“Yeah, hold that thought while I go disable the speaker system.”

“Oh, for all the stars."

“Never underestimate the stealth of a criminal mastermind.”

"I prefer damsel in distress,"

“You’re not looking.”

“We are experiencing a level-one security breach and all elevators have been temporarily shut down. Please enjoy a hot cup of tea while we wait for clearance.”

“Oh, yeah, she’s great. I mean, half the people in the world want to kill her and the other half want to chain her to a throne on the moon, which is just what she’s always wanted. So she’s fantastic.”

“You know, if it was a bad kiss, you can just say so.”

“Everyone is trying to impress everyone else. Trying to make themselves out to be smarter or more confident than they actually are.”

I hate to break this to you, but I am sweaty and itchy and haven't brush my teeth in two days. This just isn't a good time for romance.”

“I like to maintain an air of mystery.”

“That’s not at all what I … Wait. Did you think it was a bad kiss?”

“We were going to die, you know.”

“Because the palace walls have been bleeding for years, and no one else sees it.”

“Don't try to push your swoony psychodrama on me.”

“It would be like those epic love affairs that exploded into existence and burned white hot for all eternity. The type of love that time and distance and death couldn't seperate”

“All right, damsel. Send over those coordinates.”

"I think I am in love with you."

“Maybe there isn’t such a thing as fate. Maybe it’s just the opportunities we’re given, and what we do with them.”

“We are obviously soul mates. Now please, stand up.”

“You’ve probably told lots of girls you loved them.”

“Well, yeah, but I would have reconsidered if I’d known you were going to hold it against me.”

“It was kind of nice to know that they were both wrong."

“For my next trick, I will win a staring contest with the moron in orange sunglasses.”

“Good. Because I need you. And those are not words that I throw around every day.”

“Although. . . somehow, I always pictured the princess . . . I don't know. In a dress.”

“She was a girl. A living girl, smart and sweet and awkward and unusual, and she was worth far more than they could ever realize.”

“I serve my princess. No one else.”

“I am not happy with this turn of events."

“Well, it’s annoying and we’re running out of time. Come on.”

"You'd rather take your chances with her?"

“Then stop going comatose on me!”

“He’s just gone inside to be heroic. I’m sure he’ll be glad to know you’re here. I believe he’s under the impression that you’re out in space somewhere.”

“It always came back to love. More than freedom, more than acceptance—love. True love, like they sang about in the second era. The kind that filled up a person's soul. The kind that lent itself to dramatic gestures and sacrifices. The kind that was irresistible and all-encompassing.”

“I just needed some time to figure out who I was … am.”

"Because if I'd ruined that for you, I was going to feel like such a cad.”

“I can’t let anyone else die,”

“What do you suggest? You clearly know all about this political revolution stuff, so please enlighten me, O wrinkled one.”

“The only way through this is to fight.”

“She deserved it, the snake. After keeping my little golden bird locked up in her cage for so long.”

“I just think I’m not the best person to demonstrate all the goodness humanity has to offer. I don’t want you to be too disappointed when you realize that.”

“That you’re lonely, and I’m irresistible?”

“He did, in fact, look like a romance hero, all muscles and edges and chiseled bone structure. He also looked miserable.”

“Our country was built on a foundation of equality and togetherness, not prejudice and hatred.”

“When Rapunzel saw the prince, she fell over him and began to weep, and her tears dropped into his eyes”

No more secrets. I don't know if I can survive any more big reveals from you, so if you have anything else to tell me, out with it. Right now."

this is sweet, but aren’t I the first guy you’ve ever met? Come on, up you go.”

“She would have freedom, and friendships, and purpose. And she would be with him.”

“Because if there was one thing she knew about heroes, it was that they could not resist a damsel in distress. And she was nothing if not in distress.”

“Love. It always came back to love. More than freedom, more than acceptance—love. True love, like they sang about in the second era. The kind that filled up a person’s soul. The kind that lent itself to dramatic gestures and sacrifices. The kind that was irresistible and all-encompassing.”

I'm almost afraid to ask, Your Majesty."

“As it turned out, being human was every bit as much fun as she'd always thought it would be.”

[yesimacreepweirdo]

Drakgo or kim’s Ron? Shego and drakken would probably get annoyed at each other a lot while kim and Ron only fought in one of the best episodes 4x01. They would bond over stealing though

Well, considering I watched the show for Drakgo.... 100% Drakgo. Let me tell you why!

Shego by herself is the most intriguing character, in my opinion. Her interesting back story is what got me into the show in the first place. She went from hero to villain, she is capable of very dangerous things, and honestly, she could be a solo villain if she wanted to. It begs the question, why does she stay with Drakken?

Now, one could argue that Shego is lazy and unmotivated, so being Drakken's sidekick is perfect for her because she just has to follow orders and doesn't have to come up with her own schemes. And that is a valid point. Shego likes staying in her lane. She's not determined like Drakken is. I don't believe she actually gives a crap if they succeed in taking over the world or not. She's evil for the thril. She's there for the fun of it because she enjoys it. Drakken, on the other hand, has a goal, and he intends to achieve it. However, Shego could work for anyone, and she has a few times, but she always ends up back with Drakken. Why?

Some people will say that they didn't care for each other until season 4, but I highly disagree. The evidence was there from the very beginning. Back in season 1, Drakken openly admits to missing Shego when she left and calls her a pet name over the phone, to which she doesn't bat an eye, meaning he has called her pet names before. Is Shego sarcastic and lippy throughout all 4 seasons? Yes. Does she get annoyed with him? Yes. However, Shego isn't Kim. She's not a goody two shoes who does the right thing all the time. Mix her past with the fact that she is evil, and I'd say she's scared to be vulnerable. She doesn't like having a weakness because in her world, a weakness can get you killed. So she operates under the impression that she doesn't have one. I don't think she intended to care for Drakken the way she ended up caring for him. It was something that happened over time, and by the time she noticed, it was too late.

On Drakken's end, I think he was very well aware of his feelings for her back in season 1. He just didn't say anything because he thinks he wouldn't have a shot, and he didn't want to lose her as a sidekick. He's incredibly smart and very capable, and if Kim wasn't in the picture, some people could argue that he wouldn't need Shego, but I'd disagree. While he's a mad genius, he overlooks a lot of things because he's not the brightest bulb in terms of common sense. He needs Shego’s lippy remarks to make him see what he's missing, and he would need her to be the enforcer if he ever did take over the world. Much like Kim and Ron, Drakken and Shego clearly need each other. They balance out each other's weaknesses, and they overall make each other better.

Now, I'm not saying a romantic relationship between the two wouldn't be hard. It most certainly would be. Shego doesn't like to talk about her feelings, and Drakken is naive to a lot of things. I think their relationship would be super toxic at first, but they would eventually figure it out because they can't live without the other. In the series finale, Shego quite literally seeks out Kim (before she knew she was abducted) because she knew Kim would be the only hope she had in getting Drakken back. If that was anyone else, she would have left them there, but since it was Drakken, she went to her enemy for help. That, my dears, is what love looks like. Those sweet Shego moments are rare, but they are sprinkled throughout the show if you squint hard enough.

I like Kim and Ron, don't get me wrong. They are perfect for each other, and they were clearly endgame from the start, but Drakken and Shego intrigue me more because their relationship isn't easy. It's not all lovey dovey all the time. In my opinion, it's more realistic to real life because real-life relationships aren't always as easy as what Kim and Ron had. Relationships are hard, and Drakken and Shego are one of those couples that, yeah, they have their issues, but they will work through them because not working through them would mean losing each other. Notice in Mad Dogs and Aliens how pissed off Drakken was at Shego for leaving him in prison and how jealous Shego was that he replaced her with Warmonga, and then 3 episodes later, which is the next episode they are in, they are closer than ever. They are capable of working through their issues. They just have to be open to talking about them, which for Shego is something that is incredibly difficult.

I'm on a rampage now. I just love these two with all my heart. They are my ultimate ship. But to sum up, I like Kim and Ron, but Drakken and Shego have a certain appeal that I can't ignore.

Thanks for the ask!

[reginrokkr]

Probably not the brightest idea to post this when the dash is at its most silent, but it just occurred to me that it's been a long time since the last time I addressed this. So before I forget, I'll be saying it now and maybe reblog it later to give it some visibility:

For my portrayal of Dainsleif, I do not adhere to what is commonly believed in fanon. I see where people are coming from in their excitement to slap together a bunch of Khaenri'ahn-related characters to be spiteful together and think of ways to take over the world, but beyond multiple reservations I have on the matter, Dainsleif is not that way.

Yes, based on everything he's gone through and the fact that he let on that he feels how the curse is slowly replacing his mind he could have chances to turn the wrong way and go down that route.

But that would go completely against what he's been fighting for. Anyone who pays attention to the fact that he's so adamant in opposing the Abyss Order, some of which (if not many of them) he once protected during the Khaenri'ah days previous to the kingdom's destruction. They're messed up in more ways than one to the point of experimenting with other Hilichurls that could've been other Khaenri'ahn citizens for their futile plot which leaves them in no better position than Celestia currently is.

So no, he won't go out there plotting to kill the gods when he said that it's a bad idea to go against them to begin with. He won't go against his word of interfering himself if he saw Albedo going bananas in Mondstadt. He won't follow blindly what some takes of Kaeya (son of a regent at most, this title isn't even inheritable) wanting to take revenge for Khaenri'ah or w/e, albeit as an Alberich Dainsleif will keep into account that the last regent of Khaenri'ah wanted to do something positive for that messed up kingdom to no avail. And he won't yield to the Abyss Twin's nonsense.

And if he happens to go down any of these routes (which honestly I'm not interested to explore unless we see some of it in canon and there's a legit reason behind it to dive more into his character), it'll be against his will or against his best judgement which he'd have lost control over. Definitely not because another will manipulate him, Dainsleif is strong enough to be feared by the Abyss Order all things considered— but because of other factors that are beyond his control which are more than likely related to the curse and corruption he's bearing.

[fuckyeah-dragrace]

oooo fun tag game! thank you for it, berry @sweetestberryofthebunch

What is your favorite planet?

I always loved Jupiter a lot and did a few projects on it when i was a kiddo

If you could bring one item with you to space, what would it be?

probably my hs astro teacher lol, he's such a nerd about space and he even skydived during the eclipse, the video is somewhere so i'll have to link it

Favorite celestial body?

definitely Lyra cause it has Vega which is the second brightest star in the northern hemisphere and because it's based off of the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice which is def my fav <3

Do you believe in life outside of earth?

definitely because we only know so much and anything is possible

Favorite piece of space themed media?

Interstellar, i've watched the movie once and loved every second of it because it's just SO GOOD and i love the score too, it's so beautiful and i'll add Hidden Figures to the list because i watched that movie obsessively and still watch in from time to time

What is the moon phase when answering this?

it is currently a waxing crescent :)

Big Three Signs?

i have this saved on a note because so many people ask me all the time. Aquarius Sun, Sagittarius Moon and Virgo rising. what's so funny is that my parents

Opinions on Astrology?

it's honestly fun and in a sense makes sense when based in energy i guess, like i believe in that and not literally like this is what you're set to do and what your personality is like and i think it's like a landmark of what humans believed and how we used the stars and things like that to help explain the unexplainable and i think its not something that needs to be like shunned but also take it with the idea of it's historical context as to not existing in a world with technology

tags <3: @sapphicsupremacist @aqpippin @eyeslikewatercoolers @hannahlovesdance07 and who ever else would like to join!

Got some space to know you

Got tagged right back by the lovely @rialitysworld, so let's answer some space themed questions. And to the wonderful people I'm tagging, I hope you'll have fun with these questions as well.

What is your favourite planet: I'd have to say Saturn for reasons that are slightly embarrassing.

If you had to bring an item with you to space, what item would it be: Some ibuprofen. I feel like I'd need it.

What is your favourite celestial body: I find nebulae so gorgeous.

Do you believe in life outside of earth: Maybe not life as we understand it on Earth, but it'd be some degree of hubris to think that we're entirely alone in the universe.

What is your favourite piece of space themed media: It's loosely space themed and might be related to my first answer to these questions – Sailor Moon. It's always a good comfort to watch and I've loved it in every iteration that I've consumed. Currently I'm enjoying something that's a bit more space related – 23.5. It's such a cute little Thai drama.

What is the moon phase while you're answering this: It's a new moon tonight <3

What are your big three signs: Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon, Cancer rising.

What do you think of astrology: It's a good deal of fun, but not something I base my life around. It's pretty useful for writing fanfiction though, so in that regard it's great.

I'm tagging @themetaluna @aqpippin @eyeslikewatercoolers @inasapphoteur @bru1s3v10l3t @mappingthesky @sweetestberryofthebunch @sweetlikesunflowersandhoney @puppywritesthings @holywaterzzz

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

hi!! could i request rosaria, lumine and mona with an often very tired s/o who can sleep at anywhere at anytime and they often nap on them? i hope this request make sense and have a nice day! love your writing btw

Them with a reader that can fall asleep anywhere at anytime

characters: Mona / Rosaria / Lumine x gn!reader (seperate)

warnings: none

a/n: Sorry it took me a bit (two. months.) to write this, I honestly forgot about it for a while.

I haven't written for these 3 in a long time, so if one of them is ooc, I'm very sorry.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Mona

To say that you falling asleep in the middle of her astrology lessons was something that annoyed her would be a bit of an understatement. Sure, she knew not to hold it against you since you fell asleep constantly and always seemed to actually be really excited about them while you were awake but having to constantly fear that the person you had been talking to for the past few minutes had been passed out the entire time, wasn’t something Mona did feel all too thrilled about.

Mona and you had been laying on the hill outside of Mondstadt for quite a while now, with her pointing at different stars and telling you everything astrology related that came to her mind, but when her finger pointed at the star shining brightest, a stupid one-liner shot through her head, causing her to finally get silent. Normally you were the one saying stupid, flattering things all the time. Now that she thought about it, your urge to flatter her was almost as big as your urge to fall asleep at every somewhat appropriate moment, so your prolonged silence was evidence enough that you had probably fallen asleep once again, giving her the courage to say her stupid thought out loud without having to worry about your teasing.

“And this star shines as bright as my love for you”, the words hadn’t even left her mouth fully and she already found herself cringing at them, regretting ever having said them in the first place, making her sit up and try to think of something else to distract her from it. “Eugh, I can’t believe I just said that”, she said to herself, only to startle when she heard your voice.

“Why? I think it was kind of cute”, you said before also sitting up, causing the astrologer to stare at you with pure shock on her face.

“SHUT UP! Weren’t you asleep?”, she shouted, her face now completely red, making her try to hide behind her hat, only for you to laugh for a brief second, shutting up when she glared at you.

“What? Does me being silent automatically mean I fell asleep?”, you asked, your goofy smile not leaving your face for a moment, infuriating her even more.

“Usually”, she responded before hiding behind her hat again, only to hear you yawn and stand up.

“Hmm, you’re probably right, but your astrology lesson was too interesting to fall asleep”, you blatantly lied, things being interesting never stopped you from just falling asleep, nothing did. “But how about we head home? I might actually fall asleep here if we don’t”, you asked, the fact that you were still smiling being obvious by your tone alone.

“This never happened”, she stated while still pouting, only to quickly get up and walk home in front of you, earning no response besides a sarcastically agreeing hum from you.

Rosaria

With that sister from the church of Favonius running after her whenever she refused to participate at a voluntary church activity, Rosaria had enough problems with people disturbing her job. But luckily for her, your constant tiredness was as useful for her as it was worrying. You of course were curious as to what she was doing when she sneaked off somewhere and would question her about it. Most of the time she would either change subject or give you an answer that left more questions than it solved, but sometimes, when she was feeling nice and had a good day, you would actually get more telling responses.

Even though her reluctance to give you any satisfying answers to your questions made it clear enough that Rosaria wasn’t all too excited about the idea of you actually knowing what she was doing when she sneaked off in the middle of the night, curiosity still got the better of you and caused you to silently follow her each time, only for you to get so tired that simply leaning against a wall for a couple of seconds was enough for you to fall asleep.

You were following her again, the sound of an extra pair of feet was enough to make that obvious for Rosaria. No matter how sneaky you thought you were, she would notice your presence almost immediately. It wasn’t really your fault, but she wouldn’t have survived as long as she did if merely trying to walk silently was enough to go unnoticed for her.

For a brief second, she could feel herself getting annoyed by your insistence on finding out where she was heading, only for her to start her usual routine again. Walking in circles around your home until you inevitably fell asleep, then dragging your sleeping form back home always made her job much more time consuming, but if it meant that you wouldn’t fall unconscious in the middle of nowhere, then it was something she was willing to spend a bit of time on.

When the footsteps finally stopped, Rosaria continued her act for a few more seconds, only to then turn around and scoop your sleeping body up, quickly walking you back home, while letting out one sigh after another, trying her best to feel annoyed at you, something that proved much harder when your started snuggling against her. But once she finally reached home, she quickly tucks in into bed before vanishing once again, already catching herself thinking about what she was going to say about the “weird dream” you had, that you were inevitably going to tell her about tomorrow.

Lumine

Lumine’s travel group seemed to get weirder and weirder with every person joining it. First there was her, a traveller from a different world, a flying fairy that seemed to have a bottomless pit as a stomach and you, whose excitement about following her on her travels was only topped by your desire to take a nap whenever you got the chance to.

It didn’t matter when or where, once you decided to make camp for the day there were only 2 things that were guaranteed: Paimon impatiently helping to prepare something to eat and you falling asleep on whatever spot seemed most comfortable. It got to a point where both Lumine and her flying companion decided to bring a pillow with them whenever they went, only for you to rarely use it, instead resting your head on her shoulder.

It had been quite a while since Lumine had sent you to gather wood for the fire now, and while she had already finished building the tents, you were noticeably still absent. So, when she and Paimon decided to look for you, having a bit of a suspicion as to why you failed to come back, but being slightly worried nonetheless, they quickly spotted you sitting against a tree, with your arms still holding on to a lot of sticks and small pieces of wood. Paimon had already made her way up to you and was about to wake you up, when Lumine held her back, causing the fairy like companion to look at her with a look of confusion.

“We should wake them up, Paimon wants to eat, and we need to start the fire in order to make the food”, she stated in her high-pitched voice, causing your sleeping form to shift around a little, making the Traveller place her hand over Paimon’s mouth before starting to look around in her bag, pulling out the camera she got in Inazuma. Without wasting anymore time, Lumine quickly shot a picture of you before inspecting it with a small smile and putting it and the camera back into her bag.

“You are right, let’s wake them up now.”

[isoldmysoultojonahclemence]

[Army Version] Ikerev Name Analysis!

Lancelot Kingsley: 

The name Lancelot means “servant.”

OK so at first I was really confused because he’s the King of Hearts, which is pretty much the farthest thing from a servant. But then I realized that it could be alluding to how he was forced to work for Amon for so many years. 

Or this could also be a reference to the Arthurian legends, in which Sir Lancelot was said to be the greatest of the Knights of the Round Table.

The surname Kingsley means “a king’s meadow.”

Given that the entire Kingsley line are Kings, this is a very fitting name for them. Also Kingsley is similar to the word kingly, which definitely describes Lancelot. 

Jonah Clemence: 

The name Jonah means “dove/pigeon.”

The two birds are often seen as symbols of peace. They’re also often seen as messengers.

I wouldn’t necessarily associate Jonah with peace, since he’s kinda rash and very quick to anger.

But something else worth acknowledging was that his little brother ended up joining the Black Army, and the symbol of the Black Army is a raven. Doves and ravens are usually considered opposites, which could stand for how the brothers ended up on opposite sides.

The surname Clemence means “merciful.”

It seems a bit ironic to me, since the Queens of Hearts aren’t really known for their forgiveness (the original Queen chopped off people’s heads without listening to their reasons and Jonah literally held a grudge against Sirius for 14 years and counting). 

Edgar Bright:

The name Edgar means “rich/prosperous” and “spear.”

Maybe the “rich/prosperous” part is about the Bright family wealth? They’re the third most important family in the Red Territory, so you’d think they’d be pretty rich. And then they’ve also assassinated people for profit before as well.

And the spear is a weapon, so it probably points toward how Edgar was weaponized to be the perfect assassin. 

The surname Bright means “bright” (obviously).

I thought it was kinda ironic, just like Clemence, because obviously the duty of the Jack of Hearts is anything but bright. 

Zero: 

The name Zero means “void.”

I know that this was just the number he was given to differentiate him from the rest of the human experiments.

But I still thought that “void” kinda describes Zero around the time he just left the Magic Tower, because he doesn’t have anywhere to go anymore. And even when he joined the Red Army, there’s still soldiers who disrespects him because he wasn’t from the crimson lineage.

Kyle Ash:

The name Kyle means “narrow; strait.”

A strait, in case you didn’t know, is a narrow passage body of water connecting two other, larger bodies of water.

I interpreted Kyle as the strait and the Red and Black Armies as the two larger bodies. Since he’s a doctor and his primary goal is to save lives, he can act as a sort of connector between the two territories. 

The surname Ash means “ash tree.”

Ash trees are said to have protective and healing properties, which makes sense since the Ash family are all doctors.

Ray Blackwell:

The name Ray means either “king” or “counsel.”

The “king” part is obvious, given that he’s the King of Spades.

And the word “counsel” can refer to how wise he is. He’s able to give good advice to people and run an entire Army at just 24 years old. 

Or, the “counsel” part could also refer to how the rest of his Army supports him. Fenrir is his best buddy who would absolutely die for him, Sirius is always ready with some sort of strategy, Luka is practicing with his massive sword, and Seth is insanely strong. I personally believe that Ray wouldn’t be such an excellent King without their support, and he also acknowledges it himself.

The surname Blackwell means literally “a black well.”

The “black” part probably refers to the Black Territory, which he is the King of. I have no idea what the “well” part could refer to, though. Maybe it just sounds really cool?

Sirius Oswald:

The name Sirius means “burning/glowing.”

The “burning/glowing” part could refer to the person he is deep down inside, as opposed to the cool and mature exterior he usually tries to upkeep.

Also, his family owns a flower shop called “Canis Major” and his siblings are named Furud/Zeta, Wezen, Mirzam, and Aludra, which are all stars in the constellation of the Canis Major.

Given that he’s the oldest in his family (and also bc he’s a suitor), it makes sense that he would be named after the brightest star in the sky.

The surname Oswald means “god” and “power.”

These are both extremely powerful words, so it’s probably to be expected that he would canonically be the strongest suitor in terms of fighting ability.

Luka Clemence:

The name Luka means “bringer of light.”

Honestly I squealed when I saw the definition for this name bc it fits Luka so much! He brings light into everyone’s lives, but he just doesn’t realize it himself.

Also the Clemence bros both seem to have names related to heaven? Luka literally means bringer of light and doves are pretty much the symbol of heaven as well.

I’ve already talked about the surname “Clemence” in the Jonah section, so I won’t put it here again!

Fenrir Godspeed:

The name Fenrir means “fen-dweller.”

A fen, if you didn’t know, is a “low and marshy or frequently flooded area of land” (thanks Google!) I can’t really fathom why Fenrir is named after that, so perhaps a more accurate interpretation is that his name is also connected to Fenrir the Wolf, from Norse mythology, who’s supposed to eat the Sun and Odin when Ragnarok rolls around.

Basically, Fenrir the Wolf is incredibly strong and chaotic, and both of those qualities also belong to Fenrir the human!

(also this means he’s the son of loki now lmao)

The surname Godspeed means “good wishes, specifically to someone who is beginning a journey.”

If I remember correctly, one of the two keywords describing Fenrir is “lucky star” or something along those lines. So a word meaning wishing someone good luck before starting a journey fits perfectly with Fenrir’s luckiness trait.

Seth Hyde: 

The name Seth means “appointed.”

If you think about how the Magic Tower purposefully stationed him in the Black Army, then the whole “appointed” thing makes sense.

Also, this could refer to Set, the Egyptian god, who is known as the god of chaos, and he’s commonly associated with evilness. I guess that Seth’s connection to the Magic Tower and all the “work” he has done for them makes him “evil” as well, so maybe the game creators decided to name him after Set to hint at his true associations.

The surname Hyde means “someone living on a hide (which is a type of measurement) of land.”

As with Fenrir’s name from above, this doesn’t really make any sense, so I interpreted this name as originating from “Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” instead. So, if you didn’t know, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are different egos in the same person, and Mr. Hyde is supposed to be the “evil” one.

(Cybird’s really playing it up with the “evil” theme in Seth’s name geez...)

I suppose this can point towards how Seth is a different person inside than what he’s like on the outside. The “outside Seth,” who is outgoing and friendly, corresponds with the good-natured Dr. Jekyll, while the “inside Seth,” who is cunning and devious, corresponds with the ruthlessness of Mr. Hyde.

Part 2 here.

[sukirichi]

jujutsu kaisen characters as students in high school: (non-canon AU)

featuring: itadori yuuji, fushiguro megumi, gojo satoru, getou suguru, & ryoumen sukuna notes: some parts include you as their friend, or even their high school love! (this is unedited/ not proofread)

masterlist ! requests are open 

𝐈���𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈 𝐘𝐔𝐔𝐉𝐈

he’s not the brightest bulb, but he makes up for it through hardwork and enthusiasm

yuuji is literally that classmate everyone is just friends with

the type who waves with a smile, saying “good morning!” the moment he walks through that door

with that being said, since he’s everyone’s friend, i headcannon that yuuji doesn’t really have a best friend because he’s so open and available to everyone it’s hard to have just a one on one conversation with him

not to say he’s always surrounded by a crowd that you can’t get near him, but everyone likes talking to yuuji

he just fits in so well and understands people 

kind of like how he easily clicked with junpei (please, i miss him, i still can’t believe that he’s...you know...)

whether it’s the guys raving to him about sports

or girls shyly talking about their crush on class or about that new shojo manga

yuuji is open to anything and everyone. this boy wears his heart on his sleeve and he’s honestly such a precious boy, please be kind to him <3

the type of student that gets called to answer in class but isn’t shy to admit he doesn’t know the answer while rubbing the back of his neck

he does pay attention tho

i think it’s canon that yuuji is a dedicated man, like from that time he just watched movies straight and kept his cursed energy controlled so the cursed corpse would stop hitting him

overall, yuuji is a very hard working student! 

he wouldn’t get over the top grades, but he’s really proud of himself (and he should be!)

also that one kid in class that is surprisingly good in sports despite his lanky figure and laid back persona, because all the other sports-craved people are always flexing or challenging other captains 

but plot twist, this boy is ripped and very, beautifully kept in trim

yeah he’s not really into club activities that much

not because he hates them, but he’s just not that into it. he’s more than glad to join in whatever activities though and enjoys them, but if asked what he’d like to do, it wouldn’t be that first thing that came to mind

in conclusion: itadori yuuji is the class sunflower that lights up everyone’s day  🌻

yuuji’s role: the hard worker! 

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈

hands down, megumi is THAT student

if you’re volunteering in the library, you can sure as hell guarantee you’ll see megumi there

he doesn’t like studying in class because it’s too noisy, so if he’s in school, you’ll always see his name in the library logs

he’s that kid that aces all exams

the type to scowl when he sees a 96% mark because he’s expecting a perfect mark

okay before you come at me, i’m not saying megumi is that annoying smart kid in class that goes, “Oh, I’m so dumb, just a 96?”

no he’s more frustrated at himself because he knows he studied hard and lost sleep over it. he’s just wondering where he went wrong. he has literal note cards and customize flash cards on an app on his phone, waking up every four am and probably taking supplement classes after regular school hours

i headcannon that megumi is someone who always wants to do his best and actually goes through lengths to prove his worth

maybe it stems from having the need to show who he really is and what he’s capable of

but yeah i can totally see him doing that

also that cute student that keeps visiting the cafe every saturday morning, wearing a black hoodie and headphones tucked in, his pretty hands nestling over a book

he looks like a gamer but honestly i don’t think he’s got time for that lmao

would also be that guy people find hard to approach because of his quiet and reserved self

he’s pretty intimidating too

definitely sits beside the window at the back of the class. you can’t fight me on that

just because he’s smart and loves studying, it doesn’t mean he’ll sit on the front row and raise his hand every damn second

the teachers will encourage him to participate in class a little bit more, especially after seeing he’s awkward during group activities, but megumi just really prefers to do things by himself

i also headcannon him eating in the cafeteria like everyone else instead of having his alone time during a rooftop? like idk i can’t picture megumi completely isolating himself like that

he blends in well in a way that you know he’s just like everyone else; a human

but he also stands out in the manner that he’s a lot more introverted and reserved compared to everyone else

surprisingly good during sports and relay games

100% reliable

the type to stay up at midnight to finish a group project, sighing because his groupmates doesn’t care as much as he does, but turns it in anyway the next day

he’d be annoyed at them, but he doesn’t really like confrontation so he doesn’t out them to the teacher like that

but he’s also not someone who lets people walk over him, so he’ll simply say something about his groupmates becoming more responsible and to be serious for once as a “warning”

and yeah, he may be closed off, but once you get really close with him (even better if you have similar interests) you’ll find there’s a lot more to him than what you’ve originally seen and he’s actually a pretty great friend and supportive classmate

would teach you instead of just letting you copy his work or snap pictures of his notes

ugh he’s so responsible and morally right and that’s so attractive help

in conclusion: fushiguro megumi is the hidden gem  💎

megumi’s role: the intellectual outsider!

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

man...i don’t know how to start this

i’ve said this about megumi, but gojo is also that student

no, in fact, he’s THE student

everyone loves him. literally everyone

the teachers? smitten

his classmates? in love

the school guard? calls him by his first name

the cleaning lady? turns into a star with the way she lightens up when he’s there

the cafeteria staff? yeah free food because he’s gojo satoru

gojo is what i like to call the “one who has it all” because....well, he kind of does

he’s really smart and talented, which comes as a surprise to everyone in the first day of school when he nearly gets kicked out for falling asleep in class

only for everyone to be shocked that he knows the answer already and the teacher is only discussing chapter 1 lmao

yeah he’d be that kid who always sleeps in class

or is playing games on his phone behind an open textbook

he literally doesn’t listen to what the teacher is saying at all - or at least that’s what he wants you to think

man is a god at multitasking and his seatmate would snicker because he’s crushing his enemies at a phone game, but then gojo coolly corrects the teacher about history or something

he’s pretty laid back tbh

but when he’s got everyone’s attention on him? ofc he’d show off

basketball meats are wild. even students from neighbouring schools would visit just to see gojo play - and he’s not even an official member! the coach just asked him to replace a sick player but boy won that champion shot

omg BASKETBALL PLAYER GOJO I CAN’T

but he pretty much excels at everything

except cooking class, gosh, don’t ever bring this man anywhere near a fire. that’s probably the only thing that really got him to detention this time because he always somehow talks himself out of getting that red card with his words and charm

also that kid that would receive lots of confession letters, chocolates, and random gifts in his shoe lockers

he knows he’s handsome and he’s not shy about it. in fact, he’s shameless when it comes to his allure on people

but he also doesn’t really date anyone (it’s canon this man won’t stay loyal to a single woman lmao)

if he and megumi were classmates, they’d be sort of rivals

megumi would always come on top of class, but gojo is just a breath away from the former’s perfect marks. if it only weren’t for megumi’s squeaky clean record and reputation - whereas satoru’s is TAINTED as heck - and the fact that gojo doesn’t really study as much as gumi, then yeah he’d also be top of the class if he wanted to

on a much more serious note,,,gojo acts like nothing really bothers him and he’s simply that effortless

but i feel like he grew up with tutors from a very young age and that’s how his natural intelligence was just further improved and increased with that type of environment in his childhood

and unlike megumi, i don’t think gojo would really have a set goal in mind on who he wants to be or what he wants to do in the future

he’d just be enjoying the moment <3

in conclusion: gojo satoru is the effortless god!

satoru’s role: the lazy king everyone is envious of 

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

the playboy

you can’t argue with me on this one

he just is, i feel it deep in my SOUL he just is

moment he walks in, all classy and suave aura and all, you can honestly smell and taste the amount of confidence that drips from him

probably came from a well-off family

probably the mayor’s kid lmao and he’s been used to the attention ever since he was young

much like megumi, he’s not really the type to show off his intelligence

and similar to gojo, people are surprised he’s actually got them brain cells just because everyone is more focused on his appearance first

like who would expect this tall hunk beautiful beast of a man with long hair and piercings actually liked classic novels and could effortlessly recite sonatas and poems in different languages

yeah i headcannon that getou is an intellectual, cultured man

ofc having long hair and piercings isn’t allowed in his school, but because he’s geto and the school knows about his family’s influence, they just let it slide

probably comes late to school too

he eats in the cafeteria, but you don’t really see him indulge much. some days, he’ll have his own fancy bento box prepared by a family chef, but geto is actually pretty simple and humble that he also buys packed bread or canned coffee 

takes the library volunteer by surprise when he drops by one friday after class to borrow an old classic novel that even your professors had a hard time analysing

but geto’s like, “oh this? yeah i last read it when i was thirteen, thought i’d read it again”

IDK WHY but I can see him as sort of breaking the rules when it comes to the school uniform

top three buttons of his shirt open when he’s feeling hot or something

doesn’t really keep his tie that tight too

but overall, geto is a composed and well-put together guy

i just can’t picture him slacking when it comes to his appearance, he’s too fancy and pretty for that

he’s also similar to megumi in a way people find it hard to approach them, but most definitely, geto also receives confessions often 

i can see him dating someone after being interested in someone in school and actually being serious with them unlike gojo

then they would be “that” couple that’re just so couple goals

not the type that goes overboard with pda and pulls off the angry face emoji when they hear someone talking about them and they’re like, “NO HE’S MINE”

okay that’s cringe but i legit witnessed that way too many times in high school yall cant blame me lmao

but they’d be more like the chill laid back couple that supports each other in everything and you can just tell they have a happy, healthy relationship

(oh to be getou’s girlfriend in high school and his first love and all his firsts)

in conclusion: getou suguru is the unpredictable!

getou’s role is: that one classmate you really admire but he’s so far out your league but he’s genuinely a good guy anyway so you’re happy for him no matter what <3

𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀

okay okay hear me out but...the stoner

i really can’t see him any other way guyssss

and if you’re his classmate, you most likely wouldn’t see him that much either

dude is like 2-3 years older than everyone in class and he doesn’t give a shit about it

he’ll come like...once a week, if he’s in the mood enough

teachers don’t even bother scolding him for his tattoos anymore because there’s rumours going around he’s the son of a yakuza leader or that he’s a gangster who sells organs or some creepy dark stuff

ofc he doesn’t do that

he just does drugs and gets drunk at most

sukuna doesn’t really have that much friends either. yeah he parties with people and often gets high with some older kids, but he doesn’t genuinely enjoy their companies either

would totally come to school with his uniform unironed

red-eyed from his high and naps at the back of the class, making the teacher soften their voice in fear of waking him up

also doesn’t have a pen or paper

i mean...he doesn’t even bring a bag

fails the exams all the time, making him repeat year by year, and he’s even known for beating his senpai up for something stupid and sending the guy to a hospital where he stays for two weeks

but on the other hand

he’s also freakishly attractive and surprisingly easy to talk to

you probably bumped into him one time and you profusely apologize, but then he notices something about, something odd like, “did you just cut your hair?”

“uhm yes...you noticed?”

sukuna shrugs lazily, “noticed something was different, but whatever. it looks good on you though.”

he’s just soooo nonchalant most of the time, it’s hard to believe he’s actually pretty violent

but yeah this man has anger issues i’m sorry

but with that speaking, i actually don’t see sukuna as a bully with like a gang of his “followers” or that type of jazz

he’s more like the kid that hides under the bleachers or gets high in a storage room while everyone else is occupied with school festivals

it’s a shock he even came, but sukuna just says “free food is always a gift” but ofc it’s not free food...he just steals from the stalls

now here comes the fun part

so now that we know sukuna pretty much is a hopeless case...suddenly, he isn’t? maybe he meets you, the class volunteer who goes out of their way to visit his shabby apartment just to hand him his class work that he’s missed out on

he obviously disses you at first and ignores you, telling you to get lost

but somehow your kindness and persistence has him breaking

now he starts coming to school often, carrying a pack of gum or mint pops because he smells like weed and he’s slightly conscious of himself

this is supposed to be just them being students in high school, but i could honestly sukuna changing colors once he just gets a better grasp of what would be good for him

or maybe something finally interests him and gives answers to his silent questions

i feel like he’s such a troubled kid and just lacks proper care and attention, but once you become his friend and show him you don’t have bad intentions, he’s actually a loyal and decent guy

and when you two finally get close, you eventually gain enough courage to tutor him. sukuna is actually pretty smart too, he just doesn’t like studying, but when you compliment him, oh man, he melts

“yeah, you actually got that right! i told you you could do this!”

tsk,” he scoffs, “that’s all kindergarten shit.”

“if it is, then why haven’t you graduated?”

“shut the fuck up.”

although he sneers, you and sukuna have gotten close enough that you know both of you don’t mean anything bad behind those words and it’s all light hearted teasing

oh and when you ask him to take a picture with you for “high school memories?”

sukuna is disgusted

“get that thing away from my face - did you just take my photo?”

“yeah, you look pretty cute here! i’m so printing this and putting this in my album.”

sukuna is about to scold you even more, but the thought of you putting your photo together - even when he’s frowning in the picture - in something as sentimental as a photo book really has him softening up

would even try - keyword is try - to study more just so you’d stop frowning when you see his paper covered in red marks all over again

and he’d even try cutting down on his weed for the sake of his “health”

ofc he won’t suddenly - or ever, even - become the amazing student megumi is

he’ll still get into trouble because he’s impulsive and has poor coping skills, also he’s not good with words or dealing with his emotions

but on his good days, he’s a pretty funny guy

it just takes a lot to see that side of him, but it’s worth the time and patience

also i was expecting to write funny scenarios or imagines of stoner! sukuna because he’s too high to even hold a proper conversation sometimes but all i got is him saying weird words like “snail trap” or something when you ask him how his day is

would also have that garbled little laugh when he’s so out of it

sukuna will try to be better though, you just need to be patient him

but my GOSH when he finally graduates

he’s going to hide that little smile because deep down, he’s also pretty proud of himself and how far he’s come <3

lol now this makes me want to writer a high school au lololol

in conclusion: yeah he’s the stoner with a good heart 

which is so not canon...this shouldn’t even be a headcanon we know ryoumen sukuna is PURE EVIL but oh well maybe when I’m down from my sukuna high I’ll write him a lot more canonically

[inkandpen22]

The Princess and The Pogue (pt. 2)

Pairing: JJ x Reader / Topper x Reader

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: swearing, underage drinking, mild fluff 

Part Summary: After the Labor Day Gala, the Pogues take Y/N back to the Chateau. There, JJ takes the chance to finally talk to her and Y/N starts to show the group that not all Kooks are the same. 

Masterlist

JJ offers you his hand as you climb off of the HMS Pogue. He takes note of how soft your hands are, silently loving how tightly you're squeezing him. It makes him feel needed, but then he starts to wonder why would a girl who has everything possibly need him? You have the world at your feet and he only has loose change in his pockets.

The ride over to The Cut helped your intoxication ease up. You're still not confident enough to drive a car but capable of staying awake and be witty. You and the gang of Pogues approach the chateau, a place unlike anything you’ve ever been to. It’s colorful lights illuminate the yard and fire pit waiting to be used. JJ presses his palm to your back, worried that you may lose your footing, whether it be because of the uneven ground or your state of mind. Kiara leads the way into the house while John B and Pope linger behind, observing as JJ dotes on you. As he arm wraps around your waist slowly but surely, they exchange knowing looks. What JJ might see as progress, you view as a friend of Sarah’s being helpful. It’s not that you don’t find JJ attractive. You’ve noticed him around over a dozen times. You’ve always been friendly, but JJ has been nothing but reserved around you. You just wish you had spoken before tonight, under these circumstances. You figure he must view you as most Pogues do Kooks, as stuck up and spoiled. The screen door leading to the porch squeaks, breaking the silent stroll.

"OBX Princess has probably never been on this side of the island before," Kiara teases playfully as she enters the house to fetch you something to drink.

"I have actually," you state loud enough for Kiara to hear from the kitchen. "There's a little shop I like over here but even then, I will confess, it’s a rarity that I get to see this side of the island.”

“You talk about The Cut like it’s something worth seeing,” Pope jokes.

“Of course it is,” you reply though knowing he was only messing around. “It’s far more natural looking than what we call “nature” on the Figure 8. John B’s yard is more welcoming than the meticulously gardened one at my house,” you giggle lightly as you look around the porch. 

The three boys all exchange quick glances, surprised by your backhanded comment about your half of the island. They would’ve predicted that you’d have nothing bad to say about your well-do neighborhoods considering you’re supposed to be the ultimate Kook.

"Sorry, it's a little messy in here," John B apologizes as he begins to toss things- from bathing suits to cereal boxes- off the couch.

You still linger by the front door with JJ close beside you, watching his best friend fuss. "It's perfectly fine, John B," you assure the boy with a soft smile. "Thank you."

"You never clean up for us," Pope mocks his friend in passing as John B heads inside with his pile of clothes.

"Oh shut up," John B nudges Pope in the shoulder, making him fall back into the armchair. His action only making Pope chuckle harder.

Shyly, you step over to the old couch, taking a seat at the end closest to Pope. JJ rocks on his heels nervously, unsure where to put himself. He wants to sit next to you and place his hand on your leg but he also doesn’t want seem like a total creep. Awkwardly, he determines to lean against the frame of the screened-in-porch. He's thankful that your attention is focused on Kiara as she returns, handing you a water bottle.

"Thanks," you smile, earning a similar expression from the Pogue. She settles down on a folded chair across the coffee table from you, watching as you crack open the bottle lid.

"How are you feeling?" JJ checks as you swallow.

"My heart feels like it's in my throat," you confess, swallowing hard, wondering if that would help. "But the fresh air from the ride helped immensely."  

Pope frowns in the chair just beside you. "How many grams do you think you smoked?"

You shrug, starring off at the coffee table to think. "Couldn't tell you. It felt like I was in that locker room for ages though. I think Rafe buys his joints from a buddy of his from this side of the island," you glance between the three Pogues.

John B pops back out of the house. "Well, I suggest never taking anything from Rafe again," he exhales deeply as he settles down on the spot at the opposite end of the couch from you.

JJ internalizes a scream as he watches his best friend share the couch with you. ‘Look how easy it is you idiot!’ He thinks to himself. ‘All you had to do was sit next to her, it wasn’t like you had to put on a performance or anything!’

"Noted," you nod with a chuckle. Your brows scrunch together as you reach up into your hair. "Geez, this thing hurts," you huff under your breath. You begin to remove all the bobby pins your mom shoved into your hair and place them in your lap. She insisted on you having your hair up to show off the dress she picked out. Your hair begins to fall naturally in strands. Relief already spreads across your head.

JJ's lips part as he watches your perfectly shiny Y/H/C hair fall over your shoulders. If it didn't sound so creepy, he'd ask if you'd need help. He squeezes the wood panel behind him, suppressing his urge to run his fingers through your hair. "If you... uh..." he stammers, capturing your attention.

When your Y/E/C eyes meet his blue ones, it only makes him blush more. His fellow Pogues stare at him with a confused expression. Kiara wonders to herself what he was even trying to say. John B slouches in his seat as he turns his face away from you, begging for his friend to pull himself together.

JJ clears his throat, "if you... uh... want a change of clothes I could grab you something."

You nod, appreciative of his offer. "That would be great, thank you!" You hated this dress and everything required underneath it. You much rather be in shorts and t-shirts all day if you could. There's always been a piece of your that's been envious of the Pogues, it doesn't exactly matter what they wear as long as it's functional. Being a Kook means being done up 24/7.

JJ presses his lips together, giving you a sharp nod before jogging inside to find you something to change into. John B follows behind him, claiming that he's going to grab a case of beer for everyone. He watches as JJ has a quiet but expressive hissy fit all the way down the hall to the guest bedroom.

“Oh my God! Could I be anymore ridiculous!” The boy jumps up and down.

"JJ and Y/N sitting in a tree..." John B sings over his best friend's shoulder.

"Shut up, man," JJ grumbles, shoving his buddy away from him.

John B doesn't leave him alone, following him to his bedroom and standing in the doorway. JJ's room at John B's is utter chaos. He's in and out constantly that it's never been completely put together. All he has is a bed, an old butterfly chair from Kiara, and a chipped dresser. JJ's satisfied with though, as long as he doesn't have to go back to dad's house.

"You haven't stopped starring at her since I picked you guys up," John B snickers, watching his friend dig around his drawer for something clean. "Since when do you let people borrow your stuff?"

JJ stops his actions, pressing his palms down on the dresser. "She's... I don't know..." he struggles to find the right words as he focused down on his ring-covered hands. "I mean, you’re seeing it right? She's not like the other Kooks. I don't why she hangs out with those guys."

"Have you spoken to her before tonight?" John B asks, moving to sit on the end of JJ's bed.

JJ turns, leaning against his dresser with his arms crossed over his chest. "No, but you remember that night at the Boneyard?"

"How could I forget? You wouldn't shut up about her for weeks!" John B teases.

JJ grins, recalling the first time he ever saw you. "I didn't even know her name. Then, I saw her at the Cameron's here and there. I learned her name from Topper of all people. He called for her to join him in the pool. Whenever I was over there, she's smiled and waved at me. Then again, does that with all the workers the Cameron's have over there I guess. She’s just a nice person, treats everyone the same. I kept telling myself that the next time I saw her I'd talk to her... obviously I chickened out each time. Have you talked to her before?"

"Uh yeah, on occasion," John B exhales, trying to recall the times. "The first time I met her after the Boneyard, she and Sarah were tanning on the Cameron's dock while I was cleaning their boat. Topper and Kelce came over and Sarah went to go get them. I accidentally dropped a wet cloth on Y/N while cleaning off the side railings. Any other Kook girl would've had a fit, but Y/N just laughed. I don't know if she would've reacted the same way if Sarah and others were there, but I like to think she would've."

A soft smile appears across JJ's lips, his admiration of you only deepening. He envisions you laying out and the wet rag landing on you. No doubt John B freaked out and rushed out random apologies. You wouldn’t have been pretentious or hostile about the accident, that's not you. A reassuring smile would’ve immediately appeared on your face as you tell him it's alright.

"She tossed me the cloth with the brightest smile," John B continues with a soft snicker, proving JJ’s prediction. "And actually offered to help. Right when she was about to lend me a hand, Rafe and Topper came jogging down the dock. They got all defensive and led Y/N toward the house. It was ridiculous."

"I honestly hate those guys," JJ clenches his jaw.

"Y/N's cool though," John B tells his friend, pushing off his bed to stand up. "One of the most real Kooks I've come across."

"I can't believe I've never talked to her before," JJ huffs, tossing his head back.

"They're untouchable, you know? It's always been us vs. them," his buddy pats him on the shoulder as he heads toward the door.

"Not anymore. I don't care if it's impossible. I have to know her," he states with determination.

"She's here now, use that to your advantage," John B advises.

"Plan on it," JJ mutters to himself as his friend steps out into the hallway.

He had you here, within reach. JJ wasn't going to just let this opportunity pass him by. Topper, Rafe, the guys he hated that constantly have you in their hold aren't anywhere near here. He may never get a chance like this again. JJ's had this overwhelming feeling in his chest since he first saw you last summer. He knows you're meant to be his, not Topper's, not Rafe's, his.

As you and Pope continue your conversation about the history of the island, JJ appears in the doorway. He offers you a neatly folded stack of clothes ranging from an old AC/DC t-shirt that he stole from his dad to some old shorts of his that no longer fit. The Pogues wonder how long it took him to perfectly fold everything together. Your hands glide over his during the exchange and he ponders the sensation of your skin against his.

'You're so warm,' he thinks to himself.

"Thanks again, you have no idea how uncomfortable strapless bras can be!" You giggle as your rise to your feet to go change.

"The actual worst," Kiara agrees dramatically as she stands from her seated position. "Hey, I'm gonna come with you, I left my change of clothes in the bathroom!"

"Awesome!" You grin, following the girl inside.

Once you and Kiara have disappeared JJ plops on the couch next to where you would've been. He rests his elbows on his knees and hides his face in his hands. “Jesus and all that is good!" He yells, muffling the noise into his palms.

"What?" Pope laughs at his friend's expense. "Hoping she'd ask you to help undress her? 'Oh JJ, you're so sweet!' 'JJ, brush my hair!'” Pope mocks in a high-pitched voice.

“‘JJ, I loovvee you'," John B adds to the mix, pretending to pucker his lips at his friend.

"I think I'd actually go for a dive in the swamp if she asked me too," JJ concludes, coming to terms with how bad he has it.

"Just tell her! Put yourself out of this misery," Pope advises, earning a laugh from John B.

"It's not that easy," JJ groans, resting his head on the back of the couch.

"Why not?" John B presses.

"Because I don't wanna scare her off!" JJ snaps.

John B hosts a reality check for his friend. “Dude, you and almost every guy in the OBX are pleading for Y/N’s attention, including Topper and Rafe! You’ve seen how close Topper is to her, that’s what you’re competing with,” he reminds, making JJ’s heart sink. “Pull yourself together and impress her!”

“Be yourself of course,” Pope adds, ever the level headed mind. “But yeah you really need to step up your game. You’re sinking like the Titanic,” Pope mocks.

“It’s painful to watch,” John B adds with a laugh.

JJ exhales deeply, taking in his friends advice. How could he possibly compete with boys from the Figure 8. They’re your closest friends and have so much more to offer you. What you have with Topper is what JJ wants with you. Now he’s stuck wondering how he’s going to get it.

_______________________________________________________

After you finish changing, you find everyone outside. JJ swings in the hammock while Kiara and Pope sit on a log by the firepit talking. You approach the pair, feeling much better in JJ’s clothes.

"So, what did I miss?" You ask, clasping your hands together.

JJ didn't hear you coming, so when he glances in your direction and sees you in his clothes for the first time, he feels as though his head just exploded. His shorts are nowhere to be seen underneath the t-shirt that lands just above your knees. The collar is so worn that it nearly hangs off your shoulder, completely bare. Your loosely curled hair rests tucked over your one shoulder. He sits up to get a better look at you and nearly loses his balance in the hammock. The object rocks to the side and JJ curses loudly, catching himself from almost falling out. When he looks up, you and his fellow Pogues are staring at him, suppressing your amusement.

"Anyway...." Kiara breaks the silence and answers your question. "We were just about to start a fire. I actually promised Pope I'd help him find sticks-" she explains, rising from her seated position. "-He's afraid of going into the woods by himself," she adds in a whisper as she passes by you.

You giggle. “Anything I can do to help?" You offer.

"Nah, John B is looking for the lighter and more beer, so I think we're all good," Pope sighs and gives your arm a gentle squeeze. "Rest!"

As the pair disappear into the woods, you turn your head in JJ's direction. Right as he sees you turn, he falls back onto the hammock, pretending to have not been paying attention. You approach the blonde boy with a charming smile. JJ feels his heart skip with each shift of gaffle beneath your feet.

You stand over him, hands interlocked in front of you. "Can I join you?"

"What-" JJ's mind goes blank, forgetting how to speak English for a second. "Oh! Yeah! Yeah!" He rushes out, sliding over to the far side of the hammock to make room.

You lay down beside him, your body pressing against his. JJ finds it hard to breathe with you so close. You simply stare up at the stars. They're not as visible on the other side of the island with everyone's mansions blasting out so much light pollution. Your hand brushes against JJ's and he holds a ruthless internal battle. Does he hold your hand? Does he not hold your hand? What if you don't want him to hold your hand? But what if you do want him to?

"So, when you're not making drinks for Kooks, what do you like to do in your free time?" You ask the boy, not realizing that he's losing his mind.

JJ remembers what Pope and John B said, he has to pull himself together. He swallows hard, trying his hard to speak to you without stuttering like before. "Surfing mainly, hanging out with my friends, taking the boat out," he lists fluently, internally patting himself on the back. "What about you?"

"I love to travel, swim and go sailing," you name and there's a pause between you two.

JJ longs to hear more, but your mind begins to wonder as you stare up at the stars. JJ turns his head to the side, admiring how the glow of the Christmas lights in the trees shimmer against your tanned skin.

"Sometimes I'll be on my parent's boat by myself, and it takes every bit of me not to sail away," you mutter quietly, distant-mindedly. "It doesn't matter the destination. I find myself looking out to the horizon and dreaming of sailing out forever. I don't even think I'd look back..." When JJ shifts, you embarrassingly comprehend how much you rambled on. "Sorry, that just got really deep."

On impulse, JJ places his hand over your's giving it a slight squeeze. "No, no, I liked it! Tell me more?"

Your eyes flicker down to his hand resting over yours on your thigh. JJ hadn't even realized what he had done until he followed your gaze. He prepares to move it, but then you begin to flip your hand over, allowing your fingers to interlock. A rush of electricity rushes up JJ's arm from your hand. A wave of peace consumes him, something he hasn't felt in... well... forever. JJ watches as your eyes glide up and meet his own, the ones that made you awestruck on the boat ride here.

"What would you like to know?" You whisper into the small space between you two.

He shrugs, starting to feel relaxed around you and not a total spaz. "What else do you like? What's your favorite song? Movie? Show?" He lists one after the next.

You giggle at his enthusiasm, earning a grin from the boy. "Um okay..." you lick your lips, deep in thought, not noticing how the action made JJ swoon. "Well, that's kinda a hard one because I can't really select just one movie or song or show. What about you?"

He raises his brows, not having expected to answer himself. "I like The Beach Boys, Rusted Root, The Animals, Simon & Garfunkel-"

"Ah, Mrs. Robinson," you name with a smirk.

"You know them?" JJ looks surprised.

You laugh, kind of offended. "Do you think the Figure 8 is under the water like Atlantis or something?" You joke as your eyes fall shut with laughter.

JJ grins, glad to see you coming down from the events of earlier tonight. He was really worried for a while there. "I like your laugh," he mumbles before he has the chance to stop himself.

Taken aback, you turn to attention back to him. His eyes pour into yours with such admiration that it nearly makes you lose your breath. "I like your smile... when you show it," you add at the end with a smirk.

"I smile!" JJ pops himself up on his elbows, smiling with amazement at your remark.

"I think I may have seen it one time ever and that was earlier tonight," you describe with a giggle. "I always smile and wave at you whenever I see you with John B at Sarah's and you just ignore me. If you didn't help me tonight, I would've thought you hated me," you admit shyly.

JJ's face falters. He never realized that his shyness could make you think he ever hated you. If he wasn't kicking himself before, he surely is now. As you avoid his gaze, he lays back down beside you. Your eyes remain up toward the starry sky, too embarrassed to look at him.

Turning onto his side, JJ reaches out and tucks his fingers under your chin to make you meet his gaze. You do so, seeing his blue eyes starring into yours with a glimmer of guilt. "I don't hate you, Y/N... that would be... impossible," he whispers.

His words make your chest sink, but not with dread, with longing. How is it that this is the most you and JJ have ever spoken to each other? When you're with him it feels so normal, natural even. "Well good, I'm glad," you reply, feeling your cheeks warm up.

JJ leans forward, closing the space between you two even more. His brows scrunch together and his hand glides across your cheekbone. "You care about what I think of you?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" You wonder. You cared about what everyone thought of you, as every teenage girl does. Yet, for some reason, you care most about what JJ thinks. You suppose because of the circumstances of how you met. You'd hate for him to judge you or make assumptions because of a bad night.

"I'm just some Pogue," he shrugs, dismissing himself as nothing. "And you're..." he swallows hard, his eyes falling from your eyes to your lips.

"I'm what?" You press further, eager to hear what he has to say.

"The Princess of the OBX," he recites your nickname across the island.

You roll your eyes, focusing your eyes back toward the sky. "That name is so superfluous." You hated being called that. It made you feel like you were constantly on display, for everyone to gaw at, or worst, ridicule. Plus, it was Sarah's title first. It feels like you're always being compared to her, especially when you're out in public with Topper.  

"I don't know what that means but I bet it is," JJ snickers.

You giggle lightly at his confession. You appreciate his quickness to agree, despite not knowing what he's agreeing with exactly. Growing more confident as he talks with you, JJ gains the courage to reach up and brush strands of your hair away from your face. Subconsciously, you lean into his touch, your lips brushing against his palm.

"I like your hair. It's so shiny and soft," he compliments softly.

Your eyes flicker in his direction as you turn your head into his hand. "I like your eyes. I like how blue they are, they're the bluest eyes I've ever seen. They remind me of soft blue sea glass." They're intoxicating to you. If weren't so shy around JJ, you'd be staring at him every second.

"I like how nice you are, even to those you don't have to be," JJ names next.

"I like how generous you are, even to a Kook like me," you continue the exchange of compliments with a self-deprecated snicker.

"No, don't say that," JJ shakes his head repeatedly, disapproving of your remark against yourself. When you roll your eyes, dismissing his words, he slips his other hand from yours and brings it to your face too. "I like you!" He confesses, much to your surprise and his own. "...Even if you are a Kook," he adds jokingly under his breath.

Your heart races as your chest rise and fall rapidly. JJ's eyes flicker about your face, anticipating some sort of reaction. Even if it's a rejection, he needs to know what you're thinking for his sanity.

"I like you too," you lick your lips nervously. "Even if you are a Pogue," you smirk.

JJ chuckles softly at your play on his words and is in disbelief that this is happening. For a year he's been so obsessed with you and one night has opened you up to him. He's afraid that he'll wake up soon and it was all a dream.

JJ props himself up on his elbow again, bringing his other hand down your cheek to glide around the side of your neck. "I'd like to kiss you," he mutters a matter-of-factly, his eyes locked on your lips.

Gently, you bring your fingertips to his hairline, brushing his disheveled blonde locks away from his face. "I'd like that too."

Goosebumps course over your skin before JJ even brushes his lips against yours. The anticipation is enough to drive you wild. Despite wanting this moment since forever, JJ is hesitant to make a move. Slowly, he brings his face closer to yours, hovering mere centimeters from your lips. With hooded eyes, your focus remains on his lips, eager to feel them against your own. After reminding himself of how much he wants this, JJ swiftly presses his lips against yours. They're as soft as silk and taste of spearmint. Your fingers slip through his hair to the back of his head and your gather the strands into a fist, deepening the kiss. JJ releases a deep moan at the action. Needing more, he moves to hover over you. As his legs become intertwined with yours, he glides his free hand down your side to grip your waist. You bring your hands to the back of his neck, pulling him down closer to you. You feel as though you'll never be fully satisfied. His touch is like a drug to you.

"We got the sticks!" Kiara shouts as she and Pope emerge from the woods, startling you both.

"Got the beer!" John B announces he steps off the porch.

JJ breaks the kiss, flying up from his position too quickly. He loses his balance on the swinging hammock and sways to the side. "Oh fuck, here I go!" He swears, rushing to catch himself on the ground.

You yelp as JJ falls off the hammock onto the dirt beneath you. Followed by a thud, you lift yourself up, peeking over the edge of the swinging object. "JJ! You okay?!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good," he groans, his eyes squeezed shut as he catches his breath. "But I think my leg went the wrong way there for a second."

Kiara and Pope are oblivious to what just happened to their friend as they start up the music and fire. You slide off the hammock and land on your feet. "Here, take my hands!" You offer the hurt boy as he continues to exhale shakily.

"I don't think-" Before JJ can finish, he's flying up off the ground with a good yank on the arms from you. "Damn, Kook! You're strong," he compliments, making your heart race. Grinning ear to ear, he presses his palm to your lower back and pulls you into him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" You check again, worry woven in your tone and on your face.

"Absolutely Baby," he nods, leaning in to plant a kiss on your forehead.

"Come on guys!" Pope calls over to you, tossing sticks into the pit. He does a double-take, processing that he just saw JJ leaning down and giving you a kiss. "Did you guys see what I just did?"

"Yep," John B rushes out as he clears his throat awkwardly.

"A thousand percent," Kiara confirms, pretending as though she didn't.

"And here it goes!" John B exhales deeply to his fellow Pogues. Despite being happy that his best friend finally has his girl, he and the rest of the Pogues are well aware that a pairing like this comes with severe consequences. 

_________________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @starkeythinker @bethii1 @thegunnerkelly @cc13723things

[andaniellight]

ANYWAYS. anyways, love in or as a second chance is so good. so fucking good it’s so tragic sometimes. it honestly hit me harder than i expected: i survive on a second chance / i feel your love second-hand / it's someone else's flowers on the table / but I don't mind. it’s been years since i (no. not) killed your wife, and i spent every waking hour of re-evaluating the decision i made that day. i went to school for years to be like you (to be like who i used to), and it’s not merely a childhood dream of mine to be amongst the clouds. but. despite the never-ending recalculation; of whether i made the very right one to save all those people, still your wife wouldn’t come back to you. 

and i am so sorry. i didn’t kill her, and what i did was not wrong, i swear. i’ve said it so many times, have reassured it countless of times. in the papers stained with my signature.  in front of you, until i fell on your feet and they had to drag you away and the glass doors near snapped from swinging so harshly.  on the side shore the first time my daughter’s habit on scratching her arm slipped from my mind so i had to wipe off the dots of blood from it much later. i am still sorry even though i knew it. i am still sorry you had to resent me, packed it all in just for yourself to drown in it. i am sorry you must’ve known this too. i am sorry i still wouldn’t turn back time to trade all those lives just to bring her back to your home.

i did not...kill your wife. and my daughter has been asking about how you doing after i told the world about the consequences of my action. even after all the terror, hours of me almost losing you as well, i wonder if it would change your heart even just the slightest back then: to see the somber adoration my daughter had for your wife’s bravery, all pouring in her eyes and gentle mending. back then, she’s so much younger. so much smaller. yet all she did was telling me, “isn’t that what confused people usually do, dad? aren’t you good at making me not confused anymore? why don’t you try with him too?”

i don’t think my daughter has known you that deep. i remember only once, before that tragedy, she ever met you, and yet she couldn’t just forget about how kind you looked, how i allowed you, a stranger to her, to give her sweets from your front pockets. maybe my wish and my ex-wife's hope for her to be an excellent girl takes a root in her soul way too quickly, because she believed you can be reasoned for this sentimental issue. she believed that you’re a good man, just like her dad, if not more. that’s also probably why i kept dreaming about you around darkest hours before dawn sometimes even though i started to become exhausted of crying in guilt. that’s probably why i kept this ache in my heart every time i hear airplanes overhead, and tried my hardest to not think about you. the less smile framing your young, tired face. that red rage you spat on me out of the office before i left.

i almost couldn’t remember your laugh, you know. can you even believe that? you used to smile easily, speak so warmly even the morning sun would sometimes feel ashamed. and for some reasons, even though i know i did not kill your wife, it still - breaks my heart to even try not to think about you. to even try felt so impossible to me, do you hear me? i felt like i lost more than i could save, i often wondered: what have you done to me? and it's only repeating back at me, too, in your ghostly voice: what have you done to me?

at the end of the day, my daughter was right, of course. it is already such brightest luck ever to be given a second-chance for me in my life. but when it comes from you? you did more than that. you forgave me. you forgave me, even when you weren't there when i made that decision, resulting your wife's sacrifice. you forgave me, and you wanted something to blame. someone to carry those painful wounds inside instead of you, and you chose me. you couldn't help but to choose me, and i understand. just like i couldn't help but to submit to this homesickness that has been occupying my mind since the last time i saw you, i understood. since the last time i saw our city from above the clouds, i kept saying i did nothing wrong, i did all i could, because within my heart i know i should be the one enduring the pain that has taken your warmth from yourself. i kept denying that homesickness just to endure it since last time you softened your features just to look at me from next to you trying to breach critical eleven.

now look at me. i think i'm going to fall on your feet again after all this, if you want me to. the stretchers and oxygen tubes weren't enough for everyone even though the cars are all over the place, but i had to be strong for my little girl. i'm sorry i couldn't follow you to the same hospital to tell you that you will be okay. i promise the next time i show up at your door, i will no longer bring someone else's flowers. promise me the next time i fall on your feet you don't have to even smile at me to say 'i forgive you'. i am promising my daughter so many things as she recovers so very closely to you, and allowing her to help me help you to be on your feet again will be one of them.