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milkywaydrinker · 1 year

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I apologize if you don't want anymore Amphibia asks, but your response about deference to authority really made me think... Sasha is framed as a bad influence for Anne because she steals coins from an arcade machine, graffitis, and rides in shopping carts, only one of which can be argued as actually harmful. After season 1, the show completely drops the plot point of other frogs rebelling over the caste system, even in season 3 where it really should've come back. Hop Pop never even stops to consider Andrias as an enemy or someone who probably ordered Grime to kill him. The protagonists only rebel against Andrias when he starts openly blowing things up, but beforehand are fine with his rule, despite the established injustices.

Grime's Toad rebellion is seen as a bad thing that Sasha has no ideological belief in, it's just an example of her being a bad friend to Anne instead of invested in the plight of the Toads. The Three Armies, an episode meant to be the resolution for the interspecies conflict, has all three species forget about the caste system and be blamed equally for contributing to a 'petty' divide that Anne magically fixes when she yells at them for being immature, just because her teambuilding exercises don't magically fix everything. And it really sucks, because The Three Armies could've been a nuanced opportunity to explore why frogs would be at odds with the Toad rebellion (Grime might've only intended to place toads at the top, rather than abolish the concept of hierarchy entirely).

It sucks, because season 1 establishes the system as being worthy of being overthrown, even before it commits open violence against the population. But afterwards, this revolutionary fervor and critical approach to the government is completely dropped. Andrias invents racism on a whim but is never called out for it. It really feels like the writers backed down because the show was becoming too 'provocative' so they waited until Andrias was a supervillain blowing buildings up... The protagonists never realize in hindsight that of course they shouldn't have trusted him.

It feels so watered down, and the fact that Matt wrote Reunion with the possibility it'd be the finale of the series (if season 2 didn't get greenlit) makes the dropped storyline afterwards feel even more obvious. Because despite frogs being at the bottom of the system and this fact leading to Anne and Sasha fighting at all, we find out in season 2 that the richest town in Amphibia is rune solely by frogs, just as we have Wally's established lessons from season 1 get undermined when he suddenly doesn't believe in them.

That's what I meant when I said the show never commits to anything.

There's a certain amount of backpedaling they do every single time they take a risk. You can notice the tonal shifts, changes in attitude towards the same plotlines, and sometimes even "subversions" when they are completely unnecessary.

The racism plot falls flat because the writers can't decide whether the caste system really exists. They can't decide if it's just a set of racial stereotypes that society reinforces or an actual systemic racism codified into law. It's unclear because of how specieism is portrayed and due to actual, real differences in biology and how each one of them functions. As far as we know, Andrias might have made a single executive order to deploy all of the toads to the outskirts and banish all of the frogs to the countryside, but it might have only applied to the capital city.

For example, there's no law that forbids a frog from running for mayor, but it's harder for them to get enough support to win over a toad opponent. That's the result of how poorly frogs see themselves. It's unheard of enough that someone up the ranks orders Hop Pop killed in fear of the lowly frogs rising up. It suggests that the discrimination isn't codified but prejudice-based.

The narrative is split, showing us bad individuals operating in this bad system exactly in the way they were supposed to (that one toad tax collector and his cronies) but also showing us a formerly bad individual who refuses to operate in the bad system after growing and changing (Toadstool). So on the one hand, we have the poorly defined caste system and how it's exploited by cruel individuals, but also good individuals working within it with no major issues (Toadstool grows to be beloved, and Wartwood hilariously becomes the least racist village on the continent).

So is it a systematic issue, or is it a matter of some individuals? Maybe it's just stereotypes? Maybe there are actual differences between species? This ambiguity muddied the point, if the show was ever making one.

There's resistance to radical thought and action. I never expected a Disney cartoon to actually do something revolutionary, and I was positively surprised with The Owl House. I think Amphibia looks so bad, especially in hindsight, because of how absolutely not afraid of committing TOH was. If the shows ran less in parallel, maybe the reception of Amphibia wouldn't be that harsh.

Like I said before, I don't like Andrias. I understand what the show was doing by showing him as outwardly kind and empathetic; it's a ploy. He wanted the humans to trust him, so if it meant being nice to some frogs for a moment, that's no biggie. It shouldn't be that easy; Anne saw all of the consequences of his rule and how careless he is with his subjects outside the capital. Marcy trusts him, but she's also never seen much outside the opulent castle. Anne should have been more wary of him after experiencing everything she did up to that point.

There is no anti-authoritarian message in Amphibia. The message is "Be nice and don't let the bad guy win."

#rant #ask #don't worry no one talks to me on this blog this is a nice change of pace

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alizekk · 1 year

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8 Ways to Think Like an Athlete

By Sheila Monaghan, SELF

Here’s the thing about athletes. They think about their bodies differently than the average gymgoer; they work out, get motivated and define goals — all differently. And their way is highly effective. You don’t need a sponsorship or superior genes to adopt this mindset and achieve the body results you want.

Dream HUGE. You’ve heard of hurdler, wait, bobsledder Lolo Jones, right? She made it to the Olympics but tripped over a hurdle in 2008, failed to medal in track in 2012, then turned up at Sochi on the bobsled team. This is a woman who will change sports in the name of gold. Jocks have pie-in-the-sky ambitions that can’t be crushed. And while you may have no illusions of stepping onto a podium, setting loftier diet and exercise goals can help you succeed. In a New England Journal of Medicine study, people who set out to reach a self-described dream weight lost more pounds than those who aimed for a number they defined as acceptable. The theory? It’s tough to get (and stay) excited about a lackluster achievement. “When the result is modest, it can undermine the optimism and motivation it requires to achieve that result,” says study author Krista Casazza, Ph.D., assistant professor in the Department of Nutrition Sciences at the University of Alabama in Birmingham. What that means for you? Even if you’re just on ramping at CrossFit, make the end game deadlifting twice your weight. Chances are, you’ll actually do it.

But practice small. Say you’re Tom Brady — we know, you’d rather be Gisele, but play along. Your sights are set on the Super Bowl, but there are more than a few games to win beforehand. While the long-term objective doesn’t go away, you have to move the needle every day. “Pro football players call it chopping stone,” says David Epstein, author of The Sports Gene: Inside the Science of Extraordinary Athletic Performance. “You’re chipping away at something over time with small goals instead of solely thinking about the big win at the end.” For Brady and the New England Patriots, that means beating their Week 1 opponent, then projecting to next Sunday’s game and the following Monday-night matchup. Each victory builds upon the next, helping the team gain momentum. Gymgoers have a different mind-set. They see a workout as finite: “Yay, I survived that 30/60/90 class. I’m done.” Connect your dots. Realize that today’s intervals will prep you to crush tomorrow’s long run, and both will carry you across that half-marathon finish line with a PR — it’s all a process.

Be an athlete 24/7. If you put her in a pair of Choos and hand her a glass of Champagne, Maria Sharapova doesn’t suddenly stop being a four-time grand slam champion. “My swim coach in college told us we are athletes 24 hours a day and that as athletes, every choice — from what to eat to when to go to bed to whether we stretch and foam-roll — affects our daily performance and the final outcome,” says Sara Isaković, a 2008 Olympic silver medalist in the women’s 200-meter freestyle swim and a psychiatry research assistant at the University of California in San Diego.

Okay, your final outcome isn’t Wimbledon, but your choices matter, too. It’s midnight. You’re tempted to cue up that sixth episode of Orange Is the New Black. Ask yourself: What would Sharapova do? Probably go the hell to bed so she could wake up for 5:45 a.m. boot camp. “Identifying yourself as an athlete has a way of revealing bad habits that could be holding you back,” says Jim Afremow, Ph.D., author of The Champion’s Mind: How Great Athletes Think, Train, and Thrive. And somehow it’s less naggy and annoying to pass up a second glass of wine or skip the sugary dessert when you frame it as a workout saboteur versus a no-no.

Really feel the burn. Athletes get comfortable being uncomfortable. They anticipate the pain of a bonkers workout and embrace the fact that it’s going to suck at points. Very different from us regular folks who freak out or shut down at any sign of exercise unpleasantness. “A lot of people panic when they experience any discomfort in their bodies,” says Epstein. “Elite athletes do the exact opposite — they program themselves not to be rattled. You can see that on pain-threshold tests of elites; they become accustomed to the pain, and even while their bodies are in distress, their minds aren’t. You can learn to do that just as you do any other part of training.” How? You don’t fear the hurt. Instead of backing off when breathlessness takes hold during a sprint, tell yourself, Relax. I know I’m going to be fine. This is not too hard for me, and I can do this. Then take your speed up one notch. Your body already knows it can handle the challenge. You’ve just got to prove it to your brain.

Imagine greatness. You bet your ass Hope Solo has pictured herself making a diving save to win the World Cup on a penalty kick in OT. Athletes fantasize about having a stellar performance in future workouts or games, and those daydreams affect their reality. According to a study in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, hockey, track and field, and volleyball athletes who envisioned themselves playing their sport with confidence and control also exhibited the most mental toughness — meaning they didn’t crumble under pressure or give up if a competition got tough. Take five minutes a day outside the gym to imagine yourself overcoming an obstacle in your workout. “Picture yourself pushing a certain weight on a bench-press, but also feel your chest muscles engage, your core tighten as you push, and hear the sound of the bar as you put it back on the rack,” says study coauthor Krista Chandler, Ph.D., professor of human kinetics at the University of Windsor in Ontario. “Imagery is not merely visual; it engages all of the senses. And when we imagine something, we create the neural pathway similar to that created if we were to physically execute the behavior.” For Isaković, that means prepping for a punishing swim interval by imagining herself as light as a feather on the surface of the water and ready to fly over it. Pinpoint and mentally play out the ideal scenario for your workout.

And talk to yourself. For athletes, it’s a package deal: amazing bodies, voices in their heads. A Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise study found that cyclists who repeat pump-up phrases like “you’re a winner,” “feeling good” and “dig deep” during a hard workout increased their time to exhaustion by 18 percent — meaning they were able to bust their butts almost a fifth longer than those who didn’t talk themselves up, according to study author Samuele Marcora, Ph.D., professor of sport and exercise sciences at the University of Kent in England. When Spin class starts to wear you down, instead of thinking, Gah, when is this over? or I can’t go any further, go into cheerlead mode. “If you mentally tell yourself, I’ve got this, your body will respond,” says Isaković. “I happen to love quotes, so I’ll find one to think on each week, and when I’m in that moment of pain, I repeat it in my head over and over.” The fitspo quote that got major love on SELF’s Pinterest boards: “It’s not who you are that holds you back. It’s who you think you’re not.”

View the playback video. An ice queen misses a triple lutz and no doubt she’s scrutinizing that jump six ways to Sunday in slow-mo to pinpoint exactly where she went wrong. “Pros constantly evaluate themselves,” says Epstein. “After every set or drill, or after they play a game, they self-assess the way a coach would.” That appraisal helps determine what’s going right or wrong, what you need to focus and practice on and how to improve, Epstein adds. For you, that critique can be as simple as training in front of a mirror to fine-tune your form. Are you running on the treadmill with raised shoulders? Lower ’em. Are you lunging with your knee too far over your ankle? Line up those joints. It’s also not a bad idea to hire a personal trainer, run coach, pilates instructor — whatever your workout bag — for some expert guidance, even if it’s for one session. A tiny technique tweak could be all that’s standing between you and greatness.

You do you. The best athletes are narcissists — they obsess over themselves, not the competition. “Elites are confident enough that their own bodies are unique, and they don’t have to look to others to see what to do,” says Epstein. Take Usain Bolt and Yohan Blake, the two fastest 200-meter sprinters in the world, who train together for their sport. “Bolt definitely does not work out as hard or as long as Blake, but that’s because he understands his body and his mind enough to know that he doesn’t tolerate as big a training load as Blake does. You can be sure Usain Bolt is not thinking about other people during his workouts.” Which is exactly why you should worry about numero uno — not the random girl next to you in barre class or running one treadmill over (admit it — you’ve looked at her speed and thought, I’ve gotta match that). What if she isn’t pushing herself as hard as you could? What if she lets up halfway through and that makes you want to quit? If you only make it a competition with yourself, you’ll always win. And while, yes, it’s true that most athletes want to trounce their opponents, their main motivation to exercise is intrinsic. “Remind yourself, Am I a spectator or the one working out?” Afremow suggests. Because you didn’t show up to sweat, to work your butt off, to push yourself for her. You’re working out to be your best.

Forward from : https://www.diopdesign.com/

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drmitalisoni · 1 year

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Bipolar Disorder Demystified: Managing the Highs and Lows

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition characterized by extreme shifts in mood, energy, and activity levels. It can be a difficult diagnosis to manage because of the unpredictable nature of its symptoms. However, with proper treatment and support from family and friends, living with bipolar disorder doesn’t have to be overwhelming or unmanageable. In this blog post, we will discuss what bipolar disorder is, how it affects people living with it day-to-day, as well as strategies for managing the highs and lows associated with this condition.

So what exactly is Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar Disorder (also known as manic depression) involves episodes of both manias (highs) – which are periods where individual experiences increased energy levels along with elevated moods such as feeling invincible or having grandiose ideas - followed by depressive episodes (lows). During these times individuals may experience feelings of sadness or hopelessness that interfere significantly with their daily lives including difficulty concentrating on tasks at work/school or maintaining relationships due to a lack of motivation/interest in activities they used to enjoy before experiencing symptoms related to their mental illness.

How can someone who has been diagnosed manage their highs & lows?

The first step towards successful management starts when one begins working closely alongside medical professionals such as psychiatrists in Bhopal & psychologists who specialize in treating people living with bipolar disorders; together these individuals will create an effective treatment plan tailored specifically for each person based on his / her unique needs + lifestyle factors.

Additionally, there are several self-help strategies that those dealing with this particular diagnosis should consider implementing into everyday life; some examples include: regular exercise, getting adequate sleep every night, engaging regularly in social activities like attending support groups, etc., eating healthy foods + avoiding alcohol use whenever possible since substance abuse often exacerbates existing symptoms associated w/the illness itself.

Furthermore finding ways to stay organized throughout the day - whether through journaling thoughts down onto paper using reminders apps etc. helps keep track of any changes emotions may occur during certain hours so appropriate coping mechanisms can then be implemented accordingly! Lastly being mindful of triggers stressors environment is also an important part of managing overall well-being: learning to recognize warning signs beforehand prevents the potential episode from occurring altogether!

In conclusion, though bipolar disorders are incredibly complex and challenging live many cases are successfully managed long-term via a combination of medication therapy and lifestyle modifications mentioned above; understanding own personal triggers and taking proactive steps to address them head allow those affected to lead productive fulfilling lives despite whatever challenges come way!

Also Read: Psychiatric Clinic in Bhopal

About the Author:

Dr. Mitali Soni Loya is a renowned psychiatrist in Bhopal with extensive experience in diagnosing and treating a wide range of mental health issues. She is known for her compassionate and personalized approach to patient care, helping individuals overcome anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and other mental health conditions. With a strong focus on evidence-based treatment and therapy, Dr. Mitali Soni Loya is committed to helping her patients achieve optimal mental health and overall wellness. She welcomes patients of all ages and backgrounds to her clinic in Bhopal and strives to provide a safe and supportive environment for healing and growth.

#psychiatrists in Bhopal

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matan4il · 3 years

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Buddie 511 meta

I was always sure we were going to see Buck still being a part of the Diaz boys’ life in 5b, but honestly, the whole dinner scene was more fantastic than I could have imagined. Taylor was right there, but the whole time, everything plays out more like Buck is Eddie’s bf than hers. When she’s not touching her food, Eddie asks her about it and quickly guesses correctly that Buck told her to eat beforehand. It shows how well Eddie knows him. Meanwhile, Buck is completely unconcerned about her not eating, he’s just happily stuffing his face with Eddie’s food (let’s not get into how emotional it makes me that Eddie has been trying to get better at cooking, and of all the ways we find out about it, it’s when he goes all out and cooks for a dinner with Buck). Then we get the mirror image reminder that Buck also knows Eddie really well, correctly guessing that he’s not okay ever since he quit, and then telling him he doesn’t need to pretend with Buck.

Eddie shows concern over whether Taylor's eating not because she matters to him personally, but because she’s Buck’s gf, while Buck? He’s showing concern for Eddie. Their care is mutual. They’re so married! It’s honestly unreal. I also had to do a gifset to stress the romantic language Buck and Eddie both use when talking to and about each other in this ep, in this scene (“Buck, you need to move on. I have” is the kind of thing we usually see on TV being said to a romantic ex, not to a best friend), as well as during Buck and Hen’s talk to Bobby (“I had dinner with Eddie last night” when by all means it should have been “Taylor and I had dinner at Eddie’s” or “We had dinner with Eddie and Chris…”). As if that wasn’t enough, that convo with Bobby is when we also find out that the reason why Buck’s been okay during the time jump between 5a and 5b is because he has not, in fact, moved on, he’s been under the illusion that Eddie is going to come back to the team any second now. From the way Buck spoke, it could have been that he accepted Eddie leaving until he saw his best friend suffering, but Eddie correctly guessed Buck never moved on. It again demonstrates how well they know each other. ~~~

That montage of Eddie after he’s started his new job at the dispatch center is a clear callback to a similar one back in ep 204 (down to a shirtless shot of him), showing how he gets through the morning getting ready for the day after he just joined the 118. But look at the many contrasts! To start, the one back then showed him being cheerful and smiling a lot whereas the new one lets us know just how tired he is (we even see the change from Eddie waking up and rubbing his face from his sleep to the shots of him rubbing his face while trying to sleep and going crazy 'coz he's failing at it).

Ep 204 showed him connected to Chris, doing things together, while now he’s shown still doing his best, but being more separate from his son (for example, in the first montage, we had them “training” together, while in the new one, we see Eddie exercising on the treadmill alone. You can tell how things have shifted even more in the breakfast scenes: back then, they were both sitting at the table eating together, while in the new montage Chris is at the table eating, while Eddie either has to get up while his son is still eating or is already up at the counter, putting things away, implying he’s more rushed than he was as a firefighter in the field, that without having shifts which give him 48 hours off, this is taking a toll on the quality of his time with Chris).

And lastly, the music back in 204 was upbeat, though still having a leisurely tinge to it, while the soundtrack to this new scene is more strung out in comparison, the lyrics even mentioning “dark nights,” plus the song back then was in Spanish, a reference to Eddie’s heritage, telling us that he was in his element! No such indications now. Even the span of the montage shows a marked change: back then, we got slices of many scenes all taking place during one morning, while the new one condenses a lot of different days (and sleepless nights) into one sequence. That in itself gives us a sense of being rushed and weary. The contrast tells us that before, each day was unique, while now, the days and nights all blur into one... This is Eddie at his most unhappiest he could possibly be, and more than that, if in 510 he believed he was quitting the 118 for Christopher’s sake, in reality this is hinting that this move has probably been having a detrimental effect on their quality time together... Eddie is sacrificing so much, he’s suffering so bad, he’s trying so hard, and he’s still not really achieving the one goal for which he quit. He’s breaking my heart! ~~~

OMG! OK, I’ve mentioned before the parallels between Eddie’s current arc and Buck’s at the start of s3, but this ep really exceeded my expectations. Both story arcs start with Buck and Eddie quitting the firefighting profession following bad injuries on the job by a firefighters-hating psycho. Then in both cases, the team is still looking in on them (the kitchen talk in 301, Bobby asking May about Eddie in this ep), while we find out they’re both absolutely miserable without that job and their teams (Buck even freaking explicitly makes this reference himself). In both story arcs, their misery is also shown as being expressed in their disturbed sleep patterns. Eddie is not sleeping at night in 511, while in 301, we saw Buck sleeping late (possibly a hint that he needed to because he wasn’t getting his rest at night).

Despite this, they are still personally connected even after their professional paths have split up (Eddie coming in to check on Buck and drop Chris over in s3, in 5b we learn Buck is still coming over for dinners at the Diaz home). They also each end up being there for the other man in a crisis. Buck was there to save Chris in the tsunami eps, while Eddie steps in to help with the emergency Buck’s on now. But oh, it doesn’t end with this! Just like Buck was there in 304 to see his team seemingly moving on without him with a new female firefighter taking his place as Eddie’s field partner, making Buck feel left behind, now Eddie is there at the pub to see his team seemingly moving on without him with a new female firefighter that takes his place at Buck’s side, making him feel like an outsider looking in, I am just watching these parallels and they’re even more on the nose than I thought they would be? INSANITY.

And like that’s not enough, when they’re both ready to fight to get their jobs back, it’s Bobby who stops it from happening, insisting that they first have to fully heal before they can come back to the field, causing both men to lash out in response. In both arcs, Bobby’s past is also mentioned (think of 305) as a way of pointing out that they felt betrayed by him, like they were supportive during his time of need, believing he isn’t doing that in return. And then both men spiral when they feel truly without their partner (Eddie when he can’t talk to Buck in 305, while Buck in this ep realizes Eddie is really not coming back… and just remember, Buck's the guy who we repeatedly saw is terrified of being abandoned, of people leaving and never returning to him. The fact that he held on to this belief that Eddie IS coming back for as long as he did is remarkable and speaks volumes of how much trust Buddie have managed to develop, and in a sense he's not wrong 'coz we know that if Eddie could, he would have returned to his partner in this very ep, but Buck's belief in Eddie coming back for so long only makes his eventual spiraling worse). That's when they do some stupid, self-destructive and uncharacteristic things, that happen in connection with the new female firefighter who has joined the team. Lena introduces Eddie to street fighting while Lucy stirs Buck down the path of cheating and lying to his gf (...I might make a separate post later about Buck and his consent). Beyond the fact that the arcs so perfectly align, they also show just how much Buck and Eddie have in common. It’s one of the reasons why they know and get each other so well, why they fit so perfectly. ~~~

During Lucy’s introduction, Buck compliments her, while she only rates his work during that emergency call as a 7. It made me think about how almost every long term partner Buck has had in the past has belittled, dismissed or not been there for him in some way. Abby called him “boy toy” and seemed to look down on some of his beliefs, Ali wasn’t there for most of their r/s, Taylor told him off far too harshly IMO when he didn’t wanna be on his own at a dinner where his ex date was hooking up with his roomie/brother-in-law, and now Lucy condescended him. The only one who didn’t do that, the only one who lifted Buck up right away, who complimented him and valued being partnered with him from the very get go was Eddie. Even when they had a fight and Eddie said some harsh words in 305, they were literally his way of saying how much he needs Buck and can’t handle not having him around. I’ve been saying this since my meta about s2, but the show keeps highlighting that they are the perfect match for each other.

(to save people’s dash, the rest goes under a cut. HUGE thank you to @judsonryder and @whosoldherout who are legends for stepping up and helping with the gifs!) ~~~

The couple in the Speed call! Okay, first I have to make a small confession, I wrote my fic Nothing So Gentle (with its side dish of SEAL!Buck) because I wanted to try and convey the emotional charge of my fave scene in that movie. The plots are nothing alike, but Speed was my inspiration, so imagine how surprised I was to learn 911 was paying tribute to this film! And that the writers made the couple on this call meaningful to Buddie, too. The wife insists she can’t have the husband die, that she would rather die in his place, which parallels what Buck said to Eddie in ep 414. If that’s not enough, she also mentions child custody in that context, and what do you know, Buck’s words about having preferred to be the one who had been shot led to a conversation about child custody, where Eddie told him he’s entrusting him with Chris. This stuff can’t be unintentional. ~~~

I have to say that Josh was quite harsh with Eddie, but his words make it clear to us in a way the scene itself couldn’t have (because we’ve seen more than one call takeover at the dispatch center) that Eddie stepped way out of the line of his job description when he did what he did. It shows just how much he needed to be there for his old team (his actual chosen family, not people who see him as a guest in their home... what a wild reminder of 311, when Eddie talked about choosing the 118, while Buck said he wasn’t really a guest at Eddie’s). Because at the end of the day, Eddie is not the guy who comfortably steps out of line. So if he did this time, instead of going to Josh/Sue, it’s 'coz he needed to help his family, NEEDED to keep his promise to Buck (who he was watching on screen risking his life) and have his back that badly. ~~~

Even while down and out (hating his job, tired due to sleep deprivation, just having been told off despite saving the day), Eddie still misses his team and loves them so much, he right away goes over to meet with them at the pub after the Speed call. That makes him being the stranger who’s on the outside looking in, for the first time not identifying as being with the firefighters, hurt even more.

But in case we were in doubt about how much Buck is central to this feeling, the scene is shot in a way that makes him stand out within the team (just like Buddie were always battlefield boyfriends, a team of their own within the 118). Buck is the only one whose face is clearly and fully visible, lit and turned in the perfect direction for Eddie’s gaze to fall on it. This focus of course parallels the one on Eddie responding to a call with Lena during Buck’s visit to the fire station in 304, but I really want to emphasize on its own the depths of Eddie’s love, which moved him to go to that pub immediately on the heels of that call, and the magnitude of his pain when, in spite of his love, he felt he didn’t belong anymore, they seemed to him quite content, not looking for him like he was for them, so he ended up leaving right after he got there without even saying a word to his chosen family...

~~~

OK, I believe Bobby’s talk about finding the right person to join the team being such a challenge because if it’s not the right dynamics, everything falls apart, is in subtext a comment on shows’ own struggle over seasons to balance the cast viewers love with outsider characters who will keep the show from turning stale, but mustn’t harm what the audience already loves about the show. This was particularly painfully clear a struggle for 911 in s5 as some of the regulars had to take a step back during it. We’ll see what lasting effects the showrunners’ decisions will have on it, and probably this will be especially tested with Lucy, who joins as the instrument that will undo Buck’s r/s with Taylor and force him to examine himself... But since this is a nod at the showrunners’ own work, what does it say, that Bobby refers to himself as a matchmaker, when we know he’s the one who put Buck and Eddie together as a team?

~~~ I mentioned in a reply to an ask I got before the ep aired that I think if Buck will cheat on his gf, it would be very much like Eddie, Chim or Bobby, who all became physically aggressive when they were at their lowest point. They did something awful, but also very uncharacteristic of them, showing just how out of balance they were. Buck cheating is an indication that he’s at his lowest point precisely because the kind of person that he is would never normally cheat on a partner. He’s been shown repeatedly to be sensitive, loyal and empathetic to the pain of others. But the lying that follows is also something showing us how badly he’s handling things. Especially given Hen’s past experience, he should have known better. But I also find it telling how, during his attempts at honesty (consulting with Hen, talking to Taylor), he says he loves his gf and things have been great. Except we’ve caught more than one glimpse during 5a of the fact that no, things haven’t been that good, something has always been off with B/T and the fact that he ended up cheating on her is also an indication of that. On some level, Buck isn’t just lying to Taylor, he’s also lying to himself. Even the most honest description he gives of the B/T relationship, giving it the unromantic title of being his most functional one, is still off the mark, because really, his most functional, healthiest, most supportive, happiest and most loving r/s has been the one he’s developed with Eddie, their bond on and off the field and co-parenting Chris together. So yeah, Buck won’t be able to come clean with his gf until he admits his own unhappiness. And doesn’t that just parallel where Eddie’s at in this very ep, having to finally own up to his own misery? ~~~

Eddie’s been struggling with his new job, his unhappiness and his fatigue for quite a while, and in all that time, during all those sleepless nights, he suffered alone, in his bed. The first time that he fails to keep it to himself is right after he sees his team at the pub, with that special focus on Buck. He can’t contain how he feels, so for once, he doesn’t confine himself to his bed, he’s up in the kitchen at night, where Chris finds him, and they finally have the talk we all knew they needed to have back in 510. I just have to say, Christopher is a beautiful KING! I didn’t know I could love him even more, but here I am, doing just that. “I can be brave, too.” That is clearly the son of two brave firefighters! But once again, I’m going to point out the depth of Eddie’s emotions brought up by seeing his team and his best friend without him. Especially given how closed off he thinks he always needs to be, has been for months, it speaks volumes of how much love that man has for his found family. How could Buck possibly not fall in love with him immediately? One way or another, I have to believe that 911 will let all of this buildup and love pay off eventually...

~~~ Thank you so much for reading! You can find more of my content (meta, gifs, fics) on my blog, don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything. And thank you for any support, especially for reblogs that allow others to discover and enjoy these meta posts as well. xoxox

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ladykissingfish · 3 years

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what if once a month, at the insistence of Nagato, every Akatsuki member has to have a full scale medical checkup and examination, courtesy of Sasori, with Kakuzu being the first one examined then being Sasori’s “assistant”/secondary doctor for everyone else?

no real point to this, it just popped into my head and made me snicker.

because I can imagine hidan’s being a bloody horror-show filled with cursing and Kakuzu having to sew things back on or pop joints back into place.

and Itachi being very clearly sick but continually insisting he’s fine, he’s fine; the most Sasori can do for him is prescribe him some vitamins or maybe some special pills that he’s made himself to prolong his life a little bit more but that’s really it.

and Sasori and Kakuzu being scared to really touch Nagato because dude is just SO bony and SO frail; but maybe Nagato has a sense of humor and Sasori goes to like, do the thing where you tap a little hammer against the knee to test reflexes, and he does it and Nagato howls in pain and collapses to the floor and Sasori and Kakuzu panic thinking they’ve killed the leader but then Nagato pops back up saying “just kidding!”

and Kakuzu tries to act all gruff and no nonsense but when it’s Konan’s turn to disrobe he blushes and makes up an excuse to leave the room and just have Sasori do it, because Sasori has no attraction whatsoever to the female body and this is kinda like looking at another puppet to him. he’s giving her a breast exam and he comments about how they’re a little uneven and tells her if she ever wants that corrected to come to him and he can surgically fix it and she isn’t sure whether to punch him or say thanks.

Kakuzu brings out his book on animal anatomy when it’s time for Kisame’s turn, and a gardening book for Zetsu.

Deidara is sweating bullets because he really likes Sasori and it’ll be the first time Danna sees him naked and he does a bunch of press-ups beforehand to try and showcase his “muscles” but Sasori barely notices, he just gives Deidara a straightforward exam like the others and notes his heart is beating a little too fast so he tells him to go lay down for a while, not at all realizing that HE’S the cause of the accelerated thumping. he also tells Deidara he has “a most perfect body” which Deidara goes beet-red over and he spends all night thinking about it, not at all realizing Sasori meant that he’d be perfect to turn into a puppet. Kakuzu got it tho and it’s the only time he laughs all day.

and Tobi?

man, Sasori doesn’t want to examine Tobi.

Kakuzu doesn’t want to examine Tobi.

so they just ask him to do some standard exercises, say jumping jacks, and Sasori goes to listen to his heart afterwards and … nothing. no beat, no pulse. nothing.

but Sasori just takes a deep breath and tells Tobi he’s fine, in great shape, gives him a candy and sends him on his way. the less he knows about him, the absolute better.

and yeah.

#sasodei #kinda sasodei?#❤️💛#the akatsuki #doctor appointment #sasori #kakuzu #deidara #hidan #konan #nagato #itachi uchiha #kisame #tobi #zetsu

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bartletforamerica · 4 years

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How the Bartlet Administration Reacts to COVID-19

Abbey: is not taking any chances. After losing the fight to get the President to retreat to the farm or Camp David, she gets him to agree to limit himself to the oval office and the residence, with as few in person meetings as possible. Even before they’ve pulled together a White House task force, she’s made sure that everything is being disinfected and that her entire schedule is either canceled or made virtual. Her staff is the first to be working from home (and oh boy does she scold if she finds out any of them did something she thinks is foolish), with most of the rest of the White House staff following shortly after. She makes it her mission to do PSAs on what people should be doing and even does a virtual Sesame Street collaboration to teach kids how to wash their hands.

Zoey: Is not super pleased to be stuck in the Residence 24/7. She’s doing classes from her bedroom, so yay to not having to get out of bed early, but she can tell people are super disappointed that her camera is set up so that she has only a blank wall behind her [it turns out the secret service is very touchy about where you take video calls]. She also gets officially hired and given a security clearance for the sole fact that she’s one of the only people allowed to be near her dad who is tech-literate. She ends up doing some of her reading on the couch in his office so that she's on hand for when he's supposed to be skyping with the senior staff and can't figure out what link to click. She spends a lot of time worrying about Ellie, who helping do research about the virus, and texting her friends.

The President: is not happy to be closed up away from people. He also thinks that Abbey is overreacting where he's concerned. He misses actually getting to be around the younger staff. He and Zoey do a cooking from home video at C.J.'s suggestion, so that the country can see he's alive and to encourage people to not go out. They make chili and fight over whether it needs more cumin or oregano while Abbey records it and pipes in from behind the camera. The country is treated to a history of chili and a diplomatic incident nearly happens because apparently Mexicans deny having any association with it, even though most food historians say it has Mexican roots. The flaming debate doesn't stop a second episode at Thanksgiving where the country is treated to the history of the yam and all the secret spices that go into the President's stuffing. A large portion of the country gives him flack for putting Oysters in his stuffing. [In a small bedroom in an Illinois apartment a woman finally figures out why Joe Bethersonsen sounded so familiar.]

Leo: moved into the Residence because there was no way he was going to talk the President off ledges via skype for however long this lasted. He can only do so much. Zoey helps him learn to use Skype and he finds himself missing Margaret desperately even when he spends most of the day with a computer dedicated to having her on Skype so he can turn to it and ask her questions. She insists he get exercise and eat healthy (something he thinks she’s collaborating with the first lady on behind his back—they say very similar things much of the time). He skypes with Mallory on Sunday mornings over breakfast in his room and they pretend they’re at a hotel having a fancy brunch.

Charlie: is not particularly happy. He got sent home with everyone else because he’s not particularly necessary to have on hand if the president isn’t going anywhere. He’s still getting paid and he does do some work (the most important bit being hanging out on the phone with the president so he can ramble about history so Zoey can get her own reading done, Leo can browbeat the staff, and the first lady can do her own job) but he’s been ordered by the president and first lady to focus on getting extra school done while he can.

Donna: started freaking out the first day there was a rumor of a new disease in China. Then the White House shut down and even senior staff got sent home unless they absolutely needed to be in the building (basically just C.J. and some of her staff). And her roommate (not the one she'd really liked, who had a cat, but one she hopes is only temporary) works for a GOP congressman who thinks the whole thing is a hoax and bans masks in his office, so Donna is not at all happy and spends time she should be working cleaning things her roommate touches and that's sixty percent of how she ends up living with Josh.

Josh: is struggling with not being allowed to leave the house on pain of the first lady taking him to task (something about his lungs and the bullet). Even when he was putting his nose to the grindstone to make it through college and law school, he liked being around people while he studied, so he was usually in the library or a cafe rather than his room. He works best when he can bounce ideas off people and take in new ideas. When he was grounded after surgery it absolutely sucked and that was why he drove everyone crazy calling them all the time. Yeah he was bored, but he was also lonely. Plus he's not the best with technology. He very nearly went on national tv with his boxers showing, if not for Donna skyping him beforehand and making sure he fixed the camera. Between needing not to be alone and needing his assistant to be able to actually help him, the invite for Donna to stay with him slips out when she's complaining about her roommate. She shows up two hours later with two suitcases of clothes and two suitcases with pasta, toilet paper, and flour.

Donna and Josh: are handling the pandemic much better now that they're together. Josh can bounce ideas off Donna without it tying up his phone line. And she can listen in on his calls to the various members of congress about the stimulus package that they're working on. It's an even better look at Josh's job than she had before, and while it makes some of her work harder to focus on, she feels like she understands some things better than she ever has before. Josh even starts listening to her about how to sway certain congressmembers to their side. When they're not working, Donna forces Josh to cook with her so they're not entirely subsisting on delivery. They tried making bread and managed to spill half a bag of flour on the floor in the process but they ate all of it, even though it tasted pretty bland. Josh finally got Donna into baseball when it came back. Toby spit out his beer when he was on speakerphone with them and he heard Donna accurately yelling at the Mets for screwing up. Donna wears Josh's clothes more than her own, since she doesn't have to be on camera most of the time. They're platonically sharing a bed because they haven't found a convertible sofa for his living room that they like, they say, and it doesn't make sense for one of them to sleep on the couch, which they say has a spring that makes it uncomfortable to sleep on, even though Donna lounges on it all day with no problem. They are absolutely not dating and so they tell all their friends.

C.J.: spends five minutes laughing every time she gets off the phone with Josh or Donna. She loves her friends but god they're so completely in denial. It does, however, give her a much needed break. Her job has always involved a lot of people and knowing what venue to meet them in to ensure that she gets or passes on the information she needs. COVID protocols mean no more one-on-one meetings with journalists in her office, no more gaggles following her through the halls. The press corps were not happy when they moved all briefings outside and insisted on face masks and shields in addition to everyone sitting six feet apart. She gets asked about the president's health at least once a day and they start doing weekly waving from the balconies just so the press corps can get footage of him, healthy and shouting down to Danny and some of the others. Someone makes a cartoon of the president in the tower, with Abbey as his dragon keeper and though no one is willing to justify a cartoon with a comment, privately C.J. thinks it's accurate. She's always admired Abbey's fierce protectiveness of her family, even when she doesn't agree with every way it expresses itself or when it interferes with C.J.'s job. She has to come up with new ways to push the White House agenda (keep the economy afloat, stay home, no, don't listen to the GOP governors or those running for the primary, those ideas are not good, go the fuck home and stop having parties) and while some work, others bomb. It would help if everyone would stay on message and not screw up.

Sam: would like to make it clear that he did not know how many people would be at that gathering. He thought he was going for an outdoor meal with just a few old friends who could help raise money for the democratic party, not a fifty-person birthday party. The media fallout nearly gets him fired. Instead he gets yelled at by C.J., then by the First Lady. Mallory even sends him a card about how stupid he was. He's pretty sure that having Donna around is the only reason that Josh hasn't made the same mistake by now. It had to have been a toss up as to which of the two of them would screw up. Sam just isn't lucky enough to have a Donna (Sam is very happy that Josh has a Donna, Sam just wants Josh to realize that he talks about Donna the same way most men talk about their wives, because it's really hard not to respond to "why do I put up with finding her hair clogging the shower drain" with "because you love her and can't live without her, stupid"). He instead has adopted a cat for company. It tries to scratch him every time he tries to pet it. Sam spends his days trying to find a way to say "fuck the economy until we've beaten the virus" in a way that is palatable to the American people while trying to remind Toby that they can't actually say that outright. This is not an easy task.

Toby: would like to tell most of the American public to shut up, stay indoors for two months, pretty much nobody excepted, and if you don't, then you get tossed out to sea. He's come within an inch of telling anti-mask people they deserve to get sick on the record and is strongly advocating that the federal government figure out a way to mandate that every person in the country, minus those with legitimate medical exceptions, get the vaccine as soon as possible. He is also about to get evicted because it turns out his neighbors do not appreciate having rubber balls bounced against the walls for hours on end. Apparently, the thud is rather annoying. He worries about everyone, though this is delivered brusquely. Out of everyone he's taking the new work from home situation the best. No one can pop in to distract him, or comment on his eating habits. And if he doesn't want to talk to someone, he can always turn his phone to silent and pretend not to have seen they called. He's not pleased the Yankees lost to the Rays (necessitating rooting for either the Dodgers or the Rays, one of which beat his team and the other which betrayed New York), but he can at least take solace in the fact that the Mets didn't even make the playoffs.

#the west wing #pandemic #covid #jed bartlet #president bartlet #abbey bartlet #zoey bartlet #josh lyman #donna moss #josh x donna #sam seaborn #cj cregg #toby ziegler #leo mcgarry #basically there are still dumb people even with a good administration #but they try #and abbey will make sure they stay safe or else #i think this theoretically slots in somewhere in season... three?

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yanderenightmare · 4 years

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BNHA HEADCANNONS

YANDERE ! SEVEN DEADLY SINS

goodiebag WARNINGS: yandere, abuse, dubcon/noncon themes, mind control, profanity, threats, torture themes, kidnapping, abduction, Stockholm syndrome mentions, stalking

YANDERE ! BAKUGO KATSUKI - KACHAN PRIDE CRAVES PROSPERITY – FEARS DEFEAT

Katsuki is, above all, a narcissist. He isn't overly delusional. However, his vanity knows no bounds. So, when he picks someone to be his soulmate, it’s very confusing and dawning for him when he realizes that his wishes won’t be met. He genuinely feels as though he is the perfect option for his darling, even though the option part of it all proves to become bendable after some time. After countless encounters, or so he feels, of him explaining and defining the situation of their relationship to his darling, something of which he considers as blatant fact meant to be respected, only to be met with laughter, she only brushing his bold statements off as simple jokes, he comes to the resolution that his darling is confused and doesn’t understand how great he is. And, what more, when his darling still has the audacity to refuse to appreciate his greatness, his superiority, even after numerous of his faked rescues, he realizes he simply needs to be a bit more aggressive with his approach. She obviously isn’t capable of taking care of herself, as delusional and naïve as she is. He is aware that kidnapping his darling is in basis wrong, he understands that she’ll need time to adjust, however he is confident, especially because she won’t be going anywhere anytime soon... this is where she belongs, safe and sound with him, whether she likes it or not.

One might mistake his drive for wrath, when in reality it’s passion. He’s prideful, but not without reason, he is a top-ranking hero after all. He craves prosperity; to always strive for a higher goal. And, although he’s not opposed, however not big on punishment, he’s very fond of rewards, as in: credit will be granted where credit is due. He expects his darling to show him the same form of respect. So, she better praise him for his efforts each time he offers them. Does his darling finally reach one of the goals he has set for them, either she finishes one of the meals he so lovingly prepared for her or she surrenders to him in between the sheets, she will be given a liberty and so on and so worth. Good behavior will be rewarded. This does however, by no means, make him and his darling equals. He takes his role as dominant very seriously, and makes sure to enforce this in the relationship each time he may feel his darling slip out of her role as submissive. He feels the unrelenting need to be above everyone else and for people to understand that they are beneath him. He fears defeat more than anything; to one day meet the realization that he isn’t, in fact, the best person to protect his darling. Never once realizing he is the only one she needs protecting from.

YANDERE ! DABI – TODOROKI TOUYA LUST CRAVES DEVOTION – FEARS LOSS

Dabi is a nasty, unrestricted, lustful dominator. When he decides that his darling is his, well… praying will do her no good anymore, it will only turn him on even more. The thing about Dabi is that he isn’t delusional whatsoever, unlike most yanderes. He’s very lucid during all his stalking. That’s what’s so very terrifying; he knows how very wrong it is… and he loves it. And, it isn’t even as though he can’t help himself. He never tries to or creates any sort of excuses for himself. Dabi has full control over everything he does, however… he doesn’t see why he should hold back even though he is fully capable of it. He has the power, and he will exercise that power as much as he so wishes. He knows she’s afraid, he knows she thinks he’s creepy, but… he quite enjoys that. He knows what he’s doing is not only criminal but borderline evil and is under no false impression that his actions are in his darling’s best favor. He knows kidnapping is wrong when he does that too, he just… doesn’t care, or… he rather gets off on it. He is confident however in fixing her attitude. He’ll make her like it. Through pleasure, through pain, through any shape of contact discipline, however many times it takes before she’s undoubtedly his and his alone. That’s how lustful for her he is. And though patience isn’t his strongest suit, he does enjoy playing games, which means he’ll savor every moment of stalking, fantasizing and humoring his plans before kidnapping his darling.

Like Katsuki, Dabi has a major superiority complex. However, unlike Katsuki, it’s not a fixation with the entire world, but one with his darling alone. He lusts for her in ways too painful to imagine. He craves her devotion; an unrelenting, unbound, unconditional devotion. This need is cultivated over several years of neglect. Since there wasn’t much he could control in his childhood, he needs his darling at his beck and call at all times. If she fails to please him, her actions will have consequences in the shape of blue flames. However, he’ll never inflict any severe injuries, he much enjoys and prides himself in changing her mind through pleasure instead. And, he’s pretty sure that over time she’ll grow to love those thumbprint hearts he singes into her skin, and there will be no need for his punishments any longer. He enjoys thinking that she might even one day ask him to burn his name into her chest, he just needs to fry her brain a bit beforehand. You can only hate someone for so long before that hatred turns to passion, until eventually the line that used to separate love and hate has disappeared completely. He knows this, and he’ll exploit it. He doesn’t fear much, but jealousy is unrivaled in his lustful heart. So much as though the mere possibility of his darling feeling the same love for someone else tears at his heart more than anything, which is why he needs to brand his mark onto her as well as keep her hidden away from the rest of the world.

YANDERE ! SHIGARAKI TOMURA GREED CRAVES CONNECTION - FEARS ISOLATION

Tomura is starved. Starved beyond just famine, so much so that it’s more like death. The worst part of it all is: he doesn’t even know how parched he is. Not until he gets a taste of his darling, and only then does he realize that he is, in fact, insatiable. That’s why, after only one encounter, it didn’t take at all that long before she woke up in a foreign room, the remnant feeling of his fingertips evident on her skin. He couldn’t risk letting the opportunity slip out from his grasp, not when she was standing there so delectably, begging to be taken by him. Alike Dabi, Tomura is fully aware that what he’s doing is wrong, however he doesn’t enjoy it as much as Dabi does. He is fully aware that his darling doesn’t reciprocate his needs, however… they are needs. Undisputable needs. He needs her, he’s dependent on her. It’s not just an addiction, it’s beyond that, he can’t live without her. He just simply… needs her, there is no denying it, there is no ignoring it. And, because of this split-second realization of dependence, the kidnapping wasn’t a very careful or calculated abduction either, but then again… what’s the need for caution when you have the power to obstruct all evidence with the mere touch of your fingers? One could mistake it for gluttony, but there lies choice in being gluttonous. Greed however, greed is satiated only to awake with a newfound determination. Tomura’s greed is a hunger so rash, so incontrollable; unavoidable. No one can ignore hunger. In fact, if you let your hunger go on unmet, you die. Which is exactly what he has been feeling all his life, except not understanding it before she gave him a taste of what living actually feels like. Pray for his darling when she doesn’t satiate his needs, he doesn’t ever want to feel like he’s dying again. One knows how desperate people get in the face of death.

Tomura is very tenacious, as in: he’s not easily ignored or dispelled. He’s clingy and needy and unrelenting in his pursuit. He craves connection, his darling’s affection and her attention. And, he isn’t above hurting his darling in order to get what he needs. However, he would much rather prefer it if she didn’t scream or cry or fight him each time he made to touch her. He doesn’t want his darling to hate him, therefore he makes it his mission to get her to understand his predicament, that he needs her more than anything else life has to offer, that she is life itself in his eyes. As though that would help ease the situation. And, though his desperation calls for some sympathy, it does not serve as an excuse for when he touches her without her consent. However, she can only resist for so long when he begins threatening her family and friends and any acquaintances she’s ever made. He really doesn’t want to threaten her. However, his fear of isolation outweighs his fear of her hating him. And, not to mention… he fears what might happen if she were to isolate him, since he’s not one for self-control. He cannot control his frustration, or who he takes it out on, if she decides against giving him what he so obviously needs. She better think twice before disobeying him. He may not look it, but he is powerful beyond compare and ruthless in every step of reaching his goal.

YANDERE ! SHINSO HITOSHI GLUTTONY CRAVES CONTROL – FEARS DECEPTION

Hitoshi is a glutton. As in: he loves playing with his food, and hates when his food plays with him. Because of this: Hitoshi doesn’t flirt unless it’s absolutely necessary. And, when he does: it’s usually with people he’s trying to exploit and not with people he actually likes. He enjoys a much more straightforward approach with people he’s interested in. Hitoshi craves control over his conversations, flirting is too volatile and calls for too rigid and illusive information. Hitoshi views flirting as lying. It’s something one does to benefit oneself, it’s rarely honest and real and at all clear in any way. It’s manipulation, something of which he is in no dire need of and in no desire of either, what with his quirk and all; he can extract much more understandable answers. And, when it comes to his darling, he figures flirting isn’t necessary because… well… if he’s decided she’s his… there’s not much she can do to prevent it, now is there? Hitoshi is completely capable of taking whatever he wants, and he will. Although, he would much rather enjoy her offering herself instead, but he’s not picky, he knows better than anyone that God doesn’t give with both hands. Besides, he might be patient, however he doesn’t relish games unless he’s the one in control, and therefore won’t allow his darling’s antiques for very long. If she refuses to indulge him in his wishes, he will very well just make her. There’s not much she can do to stop him when he decides he’s had enough of her teasing. He loves making rules anyway, especially when they’re so easy to enforce. He’ll allow his darling many freedoms, unlike most other yanderes, simply because he has the means to make her stay, keeping her subconscious leash rather short. It’s safe to say that the kidnapping went pretty smoothly.

Despite craving control, the last thing Hitoshi wants is a counterfeit relationship with his darling. He wants and will strive to preserve those key elements that drew him to her in the first place. He’ll try to restrain himself from overusing his controlling powers too much, as so to let her personality survive what changes he’s adding to her psyche. He’ll kindle the flames of her spirit enough to keep them lit and flickering. Always sparking hope inside her every now and again to keep things interesting, also to test her progress. He never results to violence with his darling, not seeing how it’s needed when he has the means to correct her behavior without so much as lifting a finger. He finds that simply implying to use his quirk proves affective enough on its own. When she results to quit speaking and answering him altogether, he’ll simply wait. Wait, because nothing bites more than solitude, yet another thing he’s learned over the years. And, while relishing in each time she gives herself to him willingly, he cannot wait for the day where she finally comes up to him begging for him to ask her a question, pleading for him to take control, praying to be his little puppet on strings. If only for a little while, he so enjoys the taste of her mind in his clutches.

YANDERE ! TAKAMI KEIGO - HAWKS SLOTH CRAVES ESCAPE – FEARS REALITY

Keigo is not just one of the most obsessive yanderes, he is the most obsessive yandere, but… can you blame him? Ever since Keigo became a well renounced hero he’s become so used to getting what he wants, easily at that, especially females. He’s just so baffled when his lazy charms don’t work on the apple of his eye. He feels so out of his element when, instead of being flattered, his darling repels in disgust at his compliments. He spends multiple days pondering over what on earth he could be doing wrong. Approaching her again and again, winking his golden eyes at her, something of which usually has the ladies swooning and melting at his fingers. Stalking her quickly begins to feel too weird, and too frustrating for Keigo’s liking. All this pining over things he can’t have begins to remind him of his unpleasant childhood, where everything was out of reach. With that thought nagging at him, he realizes that he would much rather just take her. It’s so tempting when it would be so easy, just simply snatching her away for himself. Not much thinking would need to go into the abduction either. He has wings, hawks are birds of prey after all. The more he finds himself drowning in the thought the harder it becomes to stop himself when he acts on it. And, there he is and there she is: her mouth stuffed full with all the feathers he could spare to prevent her from screaming as he flies them back to his house. It was almost as though he had no idea what he was doing until she was safely stored in his bedroom, crimson feathers keeping her struggles subdued. His golden eyes; devoid of their usual suave nature and replaced by something frantic. The realization of what he’d just done coming down upon him. He results to rambling, stalking back and forth inside the room with his fingers interlocked in his hair, ideas on how they would figure things out along the way spilling from his lips in panic.

He really just wants to have fun with his darling. He craves levity and laughs, but it’s hard with all her screaming at him. Telling him he’s insane. Telling him he’s a monster, a demon, a villain. It’s exhausting. He doesn’t want to hurt her, but this behavior is intolerable and in need of punishment. He never means for it to go so far. He has a hard time controlling his temper, as if some other animalistic force takes control of him. Waking up to his darling’s skin bruised with his handprints, blood dripping from fresh cuts, tears running down red skin. He’ll apologize afterwards, kissing the raw skin he’s provoked. He’ll clean her up, praising her when she doesn’t fight as he undresses her for the bath and for when he decides to get in with her. Calling him delusional would be faulty, it’s more true to the nature of denial than downright insanity. He fears waking up one day to the realization that he’s destroyed a life and built his own around the rubble of it. He fears coming to terms with the fact that his entire reality is a disgusting lie. Worst of all, that it’s a product made entirely by him. So instead, he’ll tweak and twist and mend and bend and escape into his darling’s arms, forcing some more lies down his own throat and hers, and relish in those moments where it all feels somewhat normal and real in some shape or form.

YANDERE ! MIDORIYA IZUKU – DEKU ENVY CRAVES UNDERSTANDING – FEARS RESENTMENT

Izuku can come across as delusional alike Keigo, however it’s often a ruse where only some few delusional characteristics attribute and somehow condone his fixation. However, as Keigo feels he’s going through rehab, Izuku is experiencing a full-on overdose. But, no one can blame him when he commits all the acts he does with the amount of love he has. The entire population of Japan adores him, why can’t he carry the same amount of adoration for his darling? How is it wrong? Izuku loves his darling, worships her even. That’s why it hurts when she looks at other people the same way she looks at him. Doesn't she see that he’s better? Doesn't she understand that he deserves more? He can’t stand it. He won’t stand for it. He deserves his darling’s undivided attention because that’s all he ever gives to her. How dare she give others the light of day, when she so clearly belongs to him? She must be very confused... or at least he can make her believe that. Poor darling. Poor little bunny in a world full of wolves. He needs to save her. He needs to fight anyone and everyone who dares even look at her. They don’t deserve her. They cannot have her. But, Izuku’s smart, genius even. Despite his unrelenting, frenzied obsession, he’s still patient and knows how to work hard to achieve his goals. He’ll plan and plot and stalk until every single nitpicky detail about his darling is thoroughly written down in a notebook entirely dedicated to her. Izuku’s is at an advantage in this game as well, because most people look at him as a hyperactive spaz; a sporadic, nervous wreck, however… that’s not the case. Izuku knows how to focus, especially when it comes to things of importance. Everything will be perfectly in place for when he finally saves her.

Izuku isn’t a terrible guy, he tries to make that very clear. He’s a hero, a protector, a good guy. He would never put his darling in harms-way, he strives for the very opposite. He isn’t going to hurt her, he would never hurt her, however… act like an animal… don’t be surprised when he treats her like one. He won’t hurt her though. He’ll lock her up instead, like Hitoshi, isolate her until she begs for his companionship. He’ll welcome it with open arms and a smile that’s always a bit too bright and a bit too wide and a bit too patronizing. And, because he’s so very starve-touched himself, he won’t let her go until he’s had his fill, even if she changes her mind and begins to scratch and claw and scream at him to get off. Besides, if one form of discipline doesn't work, he’ll just move on to plan B. He’s much stronger than her anyways. This is how it is meant to be, Kachan taught him that much. He just wants her to admit that this is what’s best for her, that this is what she needs, the he is all she needs. He needs her to say it, to tell him she’s grateful for his protection from the outside world, protection from everyone’s bloody fingers that could stain her beautiful soul. He needs her to understand why he did this. He would hate for her to resent him, that’s truly the last thing he wants. He doesn’t really know what he would do if she were to tell him that she hates him… and he knows that neither of them want to find out.

YANDERE ! CHISAKI KAI – OVERHAUL WRATH CRAVES LOYALTY – FEARS CORRUPTION

As soon as Kai understands and recognizes in some pioneering act what’s happening to his heart when he is stalking his darling, finding his lips quirk up into an actual genuine smile, a smile of endearment as opposed to what other disgusting uses of the display he usually gravitates towards, and when he finds the familiar burning of pure rage fester a storm in his gut at the sight of her interacting with others, she is at once taken and isolated from the rest of the filthy world. He doesn’t think too much of it. He’s yakuza, the world belongs to him. He does do the act himself though. He wouldn’t usually like getting his hands dirty with jobs like these, especially when he has countless goons to do them for him, however his darling is a prize he cannot trust anyone expect for himself with. He cannot let anyone or anything touch his darling. He kills, or rather destroys, everything that he deems in his way to take her and keep her. The world is rotten and filthy and disgusting and it’s a miracle that something as pure as his darling even exists amongst all the death and decay and trash. It infuriates him that other people laid their hands on her. It enrages him that the world has laid its pesky paws and claws and tongues all over her. He will take his time in washing every spec that isn’t purely her away from both her body, soul, mind, spirit and heart. She will be so perfect whence he’s done; raw, pure, healthy perfection.

Alike many of the others: Kai might love his darling, but he is still very much in charge. He will not forgive insubordination easily and every act of disobedience will be reprimanded and corrected. Her loyalty is paramount to him. As in, she cannot go around breathing the same air as anyone but him. If that happens, people will die the outmost gruesome death and she’ll have to be thoroughly cleansed and punished. He will not shy away from disciplining his darling. It’s a very grave situation is she not to listen to his demands and follow them without hesitation. It can cause corruption in his poor darling, and that will not be tolerated. She should do what he tells her without question, to better keep her safe and pure and perfect and his. However, with the level of security he’s bestowed upon the compound of which he keeps his darling, there is very little room for her to manage to upset the construct of his wishes. But, keeping her out of defective areas is only one of his goals. Kai is not a kind man, he doesn’t try to be either. Kai is not a patient man, not when his goal is within perfect reach. Kai gets what he wants when he wants, no matter the objections. If his darling revokes, Kai has experience within the world of persuasion. Mere threats are almost always enough when they leave his lips. And, when his hands get involved, she better be begging him for mercy.

YANDERE ! TODOROKI SHOTO DESPOND CRAVES KINSHIP – FEARS ABANDONMENT

Shoto might come across as aloof, but he is fully aware of what he wants when he sees it. He doesn’t know how to flirt, he doesn’t want to give it a try and fail, so he doesn’t. He settles on simply becoming his darling’s acquaintance at first, slowly gaining her trust as a friend, casually stealing her personal belongings when she’s heavily asleep. He’ll be respectable, professional, slightly strange at times where he’s unable to control himself, but never anything too alarming. However, tiptoeing around is far from enough for him. And, with this pent-up obsession, he’ll settle for simply kidnapping his darling in the end. There isn’t much need for planning he decides, he has all the means to make her stay and keep her hidden, what with his powerful quirks, money and status. Unable to wait any longer, especially with knowing how easy it would be for him to simply take her and hide her away all for himself. It was almost as though she was begging to be kidnapped, if you ask him. He really doesn’t see how he could have gone about it any other way. If he had told her of his feelings, he would be risking being denied and everyone would soon find out, making it near impossible for him to try again. This was the only safe option. Besides, if he were to approach things in a traditional sense, there would be no telling that she’d be willing to indulge in what unorthodox activities he had in store for her. This way, she’ll have no choice. This way, he’ll get his way.

Shoto is nothing if not a sadist. Given his long line of family trauma, he is in desperate need to take it out on someone, to find an anchor. That someone unfortunately being his darling. He’s not in denial of the fact either, he is very well aware that he’s a monster, however… it isn’t his fault he became this way. He is in mourning. Only love can bring him though this, he deserves love, he demands love. He craves the love of a kindred spirit, and the more he breaks his darling like his father broke him, the more he will be able to love her and she him. He believes if he can make his darling love him, despite him being an utter monster, they will have achieved an unbreakable bond. He will try to be kind, to be soft when his darling is at her limit. He’ll even try to make the pain pleasurable, make it playful, with his quirks as toys for the both of them to enjoy. Besides, he knows how pain has a habit of becoming your friend once you’ve been introduced to it enough. His worst fear is being abandoned, he can’t go through what his mother put him through again. Which means he’ll be swift and merciless when it comes to reprimanding any escape attempts. Leaving him is not an option. His darling spends a lot of time with cuffs on all her limbs, just to satiate his fear of her running away. He might just break her legs if she ever manages a step too far away from him.

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stayevildarling · 3 years

Text

Sally McKenna x Wilhemina Venable x Reader - A little help Pt 5

word count: 3.1k

warnings: smoking, mention of drugs, hints of smut, cursing, panic attacks, anxiety

A/N: This is an eight-part story, hope you enjoy

Rushing through the busy halls of university, your mind is racing, the thoughts so loud it sounds like bees in your head and the thoughts just won't stop buzzing, causing your vision to blur slightly, ears ringing and trembling hands, the feeling of panic and losing control of the situation any moment. You rush into the nearest bathroom, bursting the nearest door open and quickly closing it, dropping your bag and books onto the floor and sliding down the wall, trying to calm down.

Shakily you try and reach for your phone to distract yourself, maybe playing a video or maybe even messaging them but you feel woozy with every movement of your body and so you close your eyes and abandon the thought of getting your phone out of your bag. ''Breathe idiot'' you remind yourself and you try a technique that has occasionally worked in the past before, whenever you felt a panic attack coming.

''Breathe in 4-3- nope nope not working too much too loud'' you try but fail miserably at keeping your breathing under control. ''Shit'' you mutter, noticing that the feeling isn't passing and the panic only growing but how the hell did you end up hyperventilating, sitting on the bathroom floor of your university?

After Sally's relapse a few weeks back, you taking her to Mina's work and going cold-turkey, things have changed and somehow took a more unexpected turn than you expected to. Sally struggled and she struggled badly at first, she couldn't cope, constantly having you or Wilhemina around, not able to get out of the house, only on walks where you two would accompany her. There were times when she felt hatred towards you two, but not really you two more what you are doing to her or rather keeping Sally from doing to herself. There were a lot of sleepless nights, you and Wilhemina taking turns, watching her and guiding her through this journey of detoxing her body from the drugs. It was constant ups and downs, it was really hard at first with all the withdrawal symptoms and the times she would just be throwing up everything she would eat or drink and you and Wilhemina often debating whether you need to get doctors involved.

There were the good days when caffeine and nicotine helped Sally's urges and you three actually had really good days together, snuggled up on the sofa, watching everyone's favorite movies and enjoying the quiet and each other's company. Then things started going downhill, with Wilhemina having to go into work again and you looking after Sally while she was still at home , blogging from home and posting a lot to distract herself from the withdrawal symptoms.

Everything went okay at first, Mina leaving early in the morning like she usually would, with a lunch bag you packed for her the night before, just like you usually would. You woke up, snuggling closer to Sally and enjoying some quality time with her, before she sat on the sofa, working on her blog and you decided to carry on finishing your thesis because deadlines were coming up. You two sat on the sofa together in comfortable silence, just working and it was almost calming but just almost.

You were unaware that day, that Sally was fighting the most recent and hardest battle with her addiction and that her body was craving something more than just caffeine to fight this empty feeling. Maybe it was the fact that Wilhemina had to go to work and Sally knowing you are different than Wilhemina, not as strong, not as strict.

At first you thought everything was okay and when she got up, you absent-mindedly asked what she was doing, only for her to tell you she is going to the toilet. You didn't think too much of it until you heard things smashing, being thrown across the bathroom and so you instantly rushed inside the bathroom, only to find a very overwhelmed Sally, searching through every draw and cabinet to find something, anything even Mina's painkillers, just anything so she could feel release and at peace but you and Mina were smarter than that beforehand and hid any potential dangers.

''Sally'' you pleaded, understanding immediately what was going on. ''I don't fucking care Y/N I need something'' she screamed in your face while tears streamed down her cheeks. ''Where are your cigarettes?'' you asked feeling helpless, although you are very aware that cigarettes and the stuff Sally is used to, are very different. ''I ran out'' she admitted and you took a step closer to her, putting your hands on her shoulders, your eyes begging her to calm down.

''We can go and buy some right now, let's get dressed okay?'' you asked and it took two more meltdowns before she agreed to leave the house with you.

From that day on, things took a more positive turn however and you and Wilhemina got Sally to agree to go to group counseling therapy, where she would sit with a group of people, twice a week to talk about her feelings and experiences.

At first she really didn't want to go and begged you to go with her and of course you did. Sally settled in surprisingly well and she actually started looking forward to those meetings, you and Wilhemina insisted on driving her and somebody would always take her there and pick her up again after an hour. Whenever you drove her for the first few weeks, you would actually wait in the parking lot, just making sure she doesn't just pretend to go inside and leave again as soon as you or Wilhemina left.

But she didn't and you didn't learn the reason for this until a while later, because the aspect of socialising at these sessions really helped Sally. Having a group of strangers there, sharing similar stories and her finally understanding her behavior and learning that she isn't responsible for this and that it's a cycle that is very hard to escape, especially when attempting to fight it alone. She would regularly walk back to the car with the happiest smile, reaching another milestone, one week clean, two weeks clean and soon it will be one month.

Sally would talk about what she learned that day, what the others shared, she talked about someone there relapsing and how it made her feel. To motivate her further you bought this calendar and hung it the kitchen where she can mark her appointments but also her milestones.

Just when Sally, one of the two most important people of your life started doing better, you still aware that she isn't magically cured and still on this hard path of battling and fighting her demons, your other lover Wilhemina at last cracked under the pressure of the past few weeks.

With Wilhemina it's different than Sally, you would never find her broken and sad on the sofa after crying herself to sleep. You would never have her admit something is wrong, you would never hear a single complaint coming from her and that's the dangerous thing with the redhead. She is a master at hiding and shielding her emotions, of course, you got her to open up gradually and break those walls down, to get her to open up, get her to be honest, and communicate feelings or things on her mind, just like she would expect of you.

It all started with her physical therapy appointments, for years she has attended those for her back, she would do exercises there or do them at home. You being the mastermind at planning every aspect of your and their lives, you also wrote her appointments in the calendar and usually Wilhemina and Sally would tick of their appointments when finished but inspecting the calendar a bit closer one afternoon, you noticed that she hasn't ticked one off in a very long time.

''Maybe she forgot but went there'' you tried convincing yourself, remembering the many times she has told you she went to an appointment or did the exercises at home when you and Sally would be at work. It wasn't until two days later when you found out the truth, after Wilhemina calling you from work

''Little one, are you free?'' she asked and even though you were sitting in the university library, working of course you said you are because you know whenever Wilhemina calls and needs a favor it's urgent. ''Yes what is it Mina?'' you asked

''Can you call the doctors I need my pain medication again, I'm heading into a meeting now but I can pick up the prescription tomorrow morning'' she let you know and of course you did as she asked.

However, when ringing the doctors office, that you have sometimes rang or been to before when Mina needed something, they informed you that Wilhemina shouldn't be receiving any pain medication for another week, because she should still have some left and on top of that they informed you that she hadn't attended her physical therapy appointments in a while.

When the call ended you felt this silence, despite sitting outside of your university, hearing students talk, cars drive by and even some bird chirping, it was silent. Because that moment was a wakeup call, a slap from reality right in the face, reminding you that Sally isn't the only one fighting her battles even if she fights them more openly.

''It can't be a coincidence'' you tried reminding yourself and as you drove home that day your anxiety was so high, fearing Wilhemina's reaction and confronting her because you knew deep down already, no matter how you would possibly say it, she will be mad.

''For fucks sake Y/N I have attended those shitty appointment and I don't have medication left, those doctors are useless'' she cursed and neither you nor Sally have seen her like that in a while. You debated whether to fight her on this, get her to lash out but in the end admit the truth, let you and Sally in so you could be there for her and comfort her, just that never happened.

''It doesn't matter I will call them myself in the morning'' she told you. This has now been about a week ago and things became a little strange at home, Wilhemina and you wouldn't talk as much, of course, you talked, greeting each other and small talk but there was this huge wall standing between you two, none of you knowing whether to start and break it down.

Your mind being occupied by something entirely different, made it difficult to focus on Wilhemina or Sally in this past week, of course you asked them how they are, you listened, you made them baths, you did anything but university pulled you right into this ocean again, waves of responsibilities and deadlines crashing right at you.

Maybe you pushing away your own problems, stress and anxiety for over a month now, solely focussing on your two girlfriends and their wellbeing, reality and the lack of self care is finally hitting you, causing you to almost collapse on the bathroom floor of your university.

The sad part is that you did it, you finished your thesis about three days ago and today is finally the day where you are allowed to hand it in and finally have the stress come to an end, with no more obligatory classes now and you just having a break until you recieve your grades.

For the past five days or so, you haven't been able to sleep, eat or drink a lot. Of course you would occasionally force yourself to have a bite or some water or fall asleep, sitting in Mina's office in the middle of the night, reading over your thesis and work again and again. Usually before these things Mina would read over it, making sure you didn't get anything mixed up or any spelling mistakes, from all the hours of writing, researching. But within this past week, things have been so strange that you didn't want to ask her.

Still hyperventilating you are pulled out of the buzzing and loud thoughts when you hear your phone ringing. Closing your eyes, you hold your hand out and try reaching for your backpack and you manage to find a strap and pull it onto your body. Momentarily you wrap your arms around your bag as if it was a shield, stopping this crushing feeling in your chest, the pain and the thoughts, as if bullets of thoughts are being shot against you and your backpack shielding you.

But the vibration of your phone is tugging you out of this state yet again, even just for a moment. Somehow you manage to open the zip of your bag and you reach for your phone, the vibration making it easy to find with your eyes still closed, the dizzy feeling still too strong. Finally you manage to open your eyes and see Sally's photo through a blurry vision and you press the green button on your screen and the speaker button next, thinking it will be too much to actually lead the phone to your ear.

''Hi pumpkin'' her angelic voice rings through the speakers and somehow, even in this dark and scary moment you manage to smile. ''He- hey'' you manage to say and you can hear ruffling in the background

''I'm just going to one of my meetings and I was wondering how my pumpkin is doing'' she says and the crushing feeling in your chest, replaces with a fluttering feeling, you feel whenever being referred to as either their little one or pumpkin.

''By the way me and Mina were wondering when is your thesis due?'' she asks while lighting a cigarette in the car. ''I- today'' you say, feeling your breathing very slowly calming down and going to a more normal state.

''Today?'' she asks a bit shocked and she pauses for a moment, confused why you didn't mention that before, knowing how important that is to you. ''Yeah'' you mumble ''How come you didn't tell us, I could have taken you there today pumpkin or Mina could have read it again'' she asks.

Opening your eyes now, you see the time and realize you have to hand in your thesis now so you quickly try and prop yourself up, Sally's voice still right there, making you feel save and relaxed. ''I'm sorry I gotta go I have to hand it in now'' you explain and Sally nods before saying ''Good luck, love you pumpkin''.

After standing up and grabbing your bag slowly, you hold onto the bathroom walls, the last bit of stability that you have right now to hold on to, to shield you and keep you from losing control. After taking one more steady and deep breath, you unlock the door and walk towards the sink, putting some cold water on your wrists and also your face.

You open your backpack and grab a lemon gum because the sour taste usually distracts you from whatever is bothering you and the buzzing thoughts. Finally leaving the bathroom, you walk past the classrooms and hallways filled with students, for what kind of feels like one of the last times.

Your time at university flashes before your eyes in this moment, you see the main entrance and you remember the many times Sally or Mina would take you here on a monday morning after spending a beautiful weekend with them and them not having to go into work until the day later.

The places you stood, like your locker for instance, where Sally would sometimes call you and ask for help or Mina calling you and asking about your day and classes. You remember wandering these halls a few years back, before meeting Sally and Wilhemina and feeling confused as to how on earth you could ever get rid of this lonely feeling or the little skip of your heart, whenever you saw a couple kiss or hold hands. Then just about a year after, you found them and you then knew what it feels like to be held, to be kissed or to intertwine your hands with theirs.

''Oh hi there'' you hear Miss Anderson's voice and suddenly you snap out of your memories and thoughts. ''Hello Miss'' you reply with a polite smile and as you look at her you can see her features changing. ''Oh dear you don't look so well, are you okay?'' she asks and you simply nod, not really wanting to go into any details about your panic attacks or the state you were in moments before, but you can't deny how pale you are and how shaken you seem.

''Have you handed in your thesis yet?'' she asks but you shake your head ''I was just on the way'' you explain and she gives you an emphatic smile before saying ''I was just on my way over there too, come on'' and you follow her to the classroom where you are meant to hand it in.

As you arrive, you see some of your classmates, leaving the classroom, high-fiving each other and leaving with such a relieved and carefree expression, all the assignments, all the stress and exams finally over and the many sleepless nights now feeling like they were worth something.

You are greeted by Miss Parker ''Hi dear'' she greets you and you open your backpack and hand her your thesis with shaky hands, still not completely recovered from the panic attack. She looks at you, then Miss Anderson while retrieving the big folder that you carefully picked, every font, every word filled with so much detail. ''You just need to sign here now'' she explains and you do and she gives you a document after, that confirms you handed the biggest part of your entire work and time here, in now.

''You should probably get home and get some rest after all this exhausting time'' Miss Anderson suggests and you nod before Miss Parker jokingly says ''Oh come on she's young, she should be out celebrating'' and you smile at them before saying ''I will'' without explaining which suggestion you actually referred to and leaving the classroom with a polite smile.

#sally mckenna #wilhemina venable #sarah paulson x reader #ahs apocalypse #ahs fandom #american horror story #ahs icons #sally mckenna x wilhemina venable #sally mckenna x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #ahs hotel #writing #watpad

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yahboobeh · 4 years

Text

Miss Independent

Spring really was the perfect season, Tenten mused. The climate was ideal for training, and even the sweet scent of hydrangeas managed to poke through the odors of sweat, weapons polish, and upturned dirt. There were no hydrangeas in the fall.

She would never admit to Lee and Guy just how much she loved a good spring day for fear she would never hear the end of it.

Above her, the sky was clear and blue. The breeze rustled the leaves, and birds sang, darting across the horizon.

Below her, the grass was lush and green, pockmarked with weapons spent from her arsenal.

And on top of her prone form was Neji, claiming victory over their spar, a confident smirk splayed across his face.

He said nothing before settling into his reward - their reward - for a successful training session.

Neji kissed Tenten on her lips, her face, her jaw. She gasped and rolled her head to the side, exposing more of her neck.

She both loved and hated this part of their relationship.

Tenten hadn’t truly realized the extent of her feelings for Neji until she’d almost lost him on the battlefield.

In everything he did, Neji was practical and diligent. Tenten was unsurprised that he approached love with the same careful dedication. Each part of her that Neji touched or kissed was with a purpose as if he’d deliberately planned out each caress beforehand. Even something as simple as holding hands seemed to be weighted with consideration.

Tenten loved it.

Neji somehow managed to transform his practical nature into intense bouts of passion that left Tenten’s knees weak. He paid attention to what she liked, whether it was her favorite foods, training exercises, or places to kiss, Neji seemed to know it all. He studied her reactions, how she liked to be touched and where; quelling the parts of her that burned for his touch.

She was wholly and utterly consumed by him, and that was the problem.

Tenten felt any remaining tendrils of control slowly slip away. He was slowly stripping her bare of the walls she had built. Tenten hated the woman she became whenever Neji turned his attention to her.

She tried to resist the urge to be consumed, staring at a kunai sunk partway into the ground. It jutted out, the cool grey steel harsh against the lush green grass as Neji’s hand started its journey under her skirt to cup her bottom.

The sound that Tenten made was something between a moan of pleasure and a frustrated grunt.

“Wait!” she gasped, surprising herself.

Neji stopped, pulling away from her neck to look down at her, brows wrinkled with concern.

“Is something wrong?”

Moments ago, Neji’s voice had been low and dripping with desire. Now, it was lighter, speckled with concern. Tenten looked up at his perfect face. His jawline was somehow both sharp and soft. The crinkle in his brow would smooth away with the slightest press of her fingers. And his eyes told her all of his secrets. His emotions passed freely across them, but somehow only Tenten could pluck them out and give them a name.

Love. Worry. Desire.

She saw them all.

His hair tickled her cheek, and between the press of Neji’s body against her own, Tenten could confirm the speck of desire she’d seen.

Everything about him was perfect. This moment was perfect.

The problem wasn’t Neji; it never would be.

“Tenten?”

Her name on his lips made her entire body buzz. Her heart pounded unevenly, and she felt light-headed.

“I have a problem.”

Tenten tried to state this as delicately as possible while guiding Neji’s hand off of her bottom.

She saw a flash of anxiety before Neji sat back on his knees, giving her space.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Tenten’s body felt heavy, like moving was more effort than it was worth. She stayed on her back, her legs open to him.

She managed to shake her head.

“No, you’re amazing. Perfect even. Jerk.”

A cocky smile flashed briefly across his face.

“What’s bothering you?”

Tenten sighed, trying to find the right words to describe her struggle best. How could she continue on her own while feeling like she was obsessed?

“I’ve always thought one of the greatest weaknesses of my fellow kunoichi was their obsession with boys.”

Neji cocked an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to elaborate.

“I mean, how could Sakura, Ino, and Hinata achieve their potential when they were always so distracted? It’s annoying. Be more independent!”

“I’m not sure I understand where this is going, Tenten.”

“Towards an existential crisis!” she said with a frustrated huff. “I mean, how can I call myself independent or a feminist when all I can think about is your stupid, perfect face?”

Neji laughed at her, earning a sharp glare.

“I’m serious, Neji! I feel like all I think about is you! ‘What’s Neji doing right now? Does he really like me? When can we have sex again?’ It’s driving me insane!”

Neji curled back over Tenten, kissing her softly before looking into her eyes. He pushed a stray bang back into place while he picked his next words.

“Do you think that our relationship takes away some of your own agency?”

“I don’t know… Sometimes I do. I don’t feel like an adult in a relationship. I feel like a hormone-fueled teenager with an unhealthy obsession.”

Neji considered her statement for a moment before speaking.

“I feel similar.”

Tenten’s brows shot up.

“You do?”

“Do I come across as the type of person who would have sex in an open field in the middle of the day?”

Tenten laughed.

“No, not at all.”

“And yet, here we are.”

“But you still go home and do your own thing. You’re still your own person.”

She felt her eyes burn and resisted the urge to cry. She felt Neji’s thumb swipe across her cheek, a soothing gesture of affection he reserved just for her.

“So are you, Tenten.”

Tenten scoffed.

“I think that it’s normal for people to experience so much infatuation at first.”

“I don’t know, Neji. Maybe, but it feels like so much more. When I thought you were… I-I couldn’t do anything.” One tear, two tears, and then the stream. She wept freely under him. “I was so pathetic, a shell of a person. My existence stopped when I thought yours did.”

Neji kissed her forehead and diligently wiped away her tears. He let her cry uninterrupted until she had calmed down enough to listen.

“Tenten, that’s not an obsessive crush, that’s grief. They’re different.”

“I felt like I couldn’t live without you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. But grieving doesn’t make you weak or less independent.”

Tenten looked away, fiddling with the collar of his shirt.

“Listen to me, Tenten. Feeling like your whole world has been turned upsidedown... like you’ll never be happy again, that’s normal. It’s part of the process.”

Neji wiped away another tear.

“You know everything,” she teased.

“I wish this was something I didn’t know. You feel helpless at first. It’s normal. I promise.”

Neji kissed her briefly on the lips.

“As for our current situation, tell me; if you were asked to go on a mission without me, would you?”

Tenten nodded.

“Of course.”

“Do you still go home and work on your scrolls? Do you research new weapons and techniques?”

Another nod.

“And even though you claim to think about me all day, are you still doing your normal routine?”

“Yes.”

“And do you still know your goals? Your dreams?”

“I think so.”

“I don’t think being infatuated with someone makes you any less independent. And you’re definitely the strongest, fiercest, most independent woman I know.”

Tenten’s heart fluttered. She touched his cheek and smiled.

“Thanks, Neji.” She smiled up at him. “But you better not just be saying that to get me out of my dress.”

He frowned.

“It was genuine, besides,” he pressed a series of kisses to her neck, and she giggled, “I don’t need to go out of my way with compliments for you to take your clothes off.”

“Neji!”

Her laughs melted into gasps. She struggled to hold onto any sense of reality.

“You arrogant-”

He cut her off with a deep and needy kiss.

“Stop talking,” he whispered between kisses.

Tenten pushed him off of her. Neji rolled over and onto his back, and she quickly climbed on top of him, swelling with triumph and pride over her small victory.

She leaned forward and kissed him, pressing her hips back to extract a well earned gasp from her partner.

“Fine, I’ll stop talking,” she said between kisses, “but not because you want me to.”

Neji grinned up at her, hands reaching for her waist, pulling her in closer.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

FFN | AO3

#nejiten #neji hyuga #tenten #fanfic #booh writes

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