#whenever i sleep it doesnt do anything

[naladrawssss]

thinking about that one time that my brother got meletonine gummies bc he had bad insomnia but he was liek damn they didnt help at all and me being the curious little cat i am was like hey lemme try and so he gave me 2 (which was the regular dose) and i went to go like yk in my bed to see if they helped me sleep

i was sitting there in my bed for like 5ish minutes and i was like hm i dont feel anything and then 10 minutes and i was liek this shit aint working

and then i conk the FUCK OUT

like it was DEEEP ASS SLEEP

AND THE ONLY REASON WHY I WOKE UP JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER WAS BC MY SISTER WOKE ME UP

she said she was like shaking me awake for like a whole ass minute like my ass would NOT wake up

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again

[the-kipsabian]

i really just dont think more than one person cares that i write fics tbh

and yes i love that one person so so so much and i love creating with and for them and its the light of my miserable existence

but it would just.. sometimes be nice. to be acknowledged when i do share something publicly

and yes i know it only matters that im happy and im writing for a niche ship within a niche fandom; trust me ive heard it all before. it doesnt change the fact that i feel like i dont even exist as a writer, like in general. within the fandom or otherwise

and idk its just very demotivating and it sucks so

[phagodyke]

ah shit only just realised its september now.... lets hope the rest of this month isn't like this.....

[frecklystars]

Wow, 32 asks. Thank you guys so much 😭😭 last night was one of the worst shifts I ever had at work. I feel like i keep reverting back to a year ago when everything was fresh. it's been extraordinarily difficult the past couple of months but it always eases the ache when I read nice messages. it genuinely calms me down a lot when other people tell me it's gonna be ok. so thank you to everyone who took the time to do that for me ;-;

I'm gonna be honest, I feel super hopeless. I am not getting joy from anything right now. Drawing, socializing, watching movies, listening to music, I'm feeling *absolutely nothing*. I am triggered by the SMALLEST fucking things that I thought I was getting better at handling. I'm having trouble wearing skirts again. I'm flinching around the color pink when I was doing SO much better with it. For the last nine days, I haven't gone three hours without having a panic attack. I'm not sleeping. My flashbacks are lasting longer. I'm having out of body experiences again for the first time in almost a year. I feel so hopeless. I told myself one year ago "hey I feel like I'm dying right now my ptsd is so fucking bad but! hey! one year from now, I'll feel better! this will feel so far away from me!" but I don't. I don't feel better. I don't think it's possible to feel better bc I'm too broken. It's been over a year and I don't feel like it's possible for me to make progress.

My Barbie/Ken anniversary is coming up and I was excited for the first couple of weeks, but right now I just... feel absolutely nothing. I am so, so, so severely depressed and my anxiety is getting worse every day. I need help out of my unsafe situation so fucking bad dude it's just gonna kill me. I'm so scared this whole thing is gonna genuinely kill me. I wish I could talk about it but I don't want to scare people but at the same time, it's so bad and it's weighing on me so heavily and I am so fuckign tired of dealing with this every single day

I don't know if I'm gonna go offline or not, bc my problem isn't even online. so... I don't see how being offline would help much. I just feel like I'm supposed to do SOMETHING, literally ANYTHING to feel something. Going offline last time made me feel significantly worse, so maybe that shouldn't be my next step. But I feel nothing when I'm blogging right now. I tried making a Jacob edit the other day and I felt no joy. I want to be filling up my queue for the 21st, all of my Barbie and Ken photos and gifsets. I should be writing Barbie and Ken love notes. I should be making video edits again! but I feel nothing!!! This is the one and only anniversary that actually matters to me this year - sorry to the other 12 Ryan F/Os who have anniversaries but THIS ONE is THE most important one, because these two characters are the F/Os that have helped me the most with my abuse trauma/cptsd. They're the whole reason why I started self shipping again. I want to celebrate that. I want to be excited about it. I am just so fucking numb.

I NEED to feel something for this anniversary, I miss celebrating F/O anniversaries! I don't get to do that anymore since self shipping was ruined for me! Since my main F/Os were ruined for me! I deserve to have a good time with my new F/Os!! I am a good person and I am kind despite all the bullshit I've been through and I work really hard to try to heal from shit! I try to stay positive and I try to help people and I!!! Deserve!! To have a day where I feel good with my F/Os without reliving every single horrifying vile thing that someone did to me! but I feel so empty right now and it hurts! I was excited a couple of weeks ago when I was planning all the activities i was gonna do on the 21st, like a restaurant and a movie and baking and throwing a party with my friends, but now?? Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING in my heart. I feel so goddamn empty. I am so depressed. I really really feel like I can't get better. It's been over a year and I am incapable of healing from my trauma and I don't know what to do about it. I am trying so many things to heal!! I'm going walking, I'm eating way healthier and cutting sugar to see if that helps clear my head a bit more, I'm getting sun, I'm drinking so much water, I'm exercising, I've cut my screen time significantly and reading more often, I'm hanging out with my friends as much as I can, I am trying everything in the book and I feel like a zombie just sitting here and rotting to death, going through the motions and reliving my trauma in my head over and over and over and over and over and over again and I can't get any fucking peace. It's like everybody in the world is living their days while the planet is spinning but I am stuck in the same spot reliving the most horrific bullshit imaginable over and over and over. I feel like I've lost almost 2 years of my life to trauma. I don't feel like I've aged, I feel like everything happened yesterday. I feel like I'm stuck in one spot while everybody else is walking forward and I can't move.

Sorry to ramble I didn't mean to turn this into a vent post but idk what else to do. I don't know if I should go offline on my actual anniversary or maybe a couple of days leading up to it?? Or maybe I'm supposed to BE online and blog about the F/Os to see if that helps me feel better?? Being offline made me feel worse. But being online isn't helping me either. Dude I don't fucking know. I need to work on some crafts or something. I need to make a BarbieLand diorama and paint it. I'm gonna bake heart shaped cookies for the first time this weekend. I'm gonna invite my friends over and we're gonna have a party on Sunday and watch the Barbie movie together. I don't know what else to do but I have to just... keep trying I guess even though I feel nothing while doing these things, it's better than doing nothing

If anyone has advice or something, it's more than welcome. Or even just a "wow, that's rough, buddy". I'm sorry for being negative, I try to remain positive on this hellsite but it's so hard right now. Thank you again to everyone who wrote me a nice message last night when I was hurting. I'm sorry I'm gonna probably be asking for encouraging messages a few more times in the next few weeks bc supportive messages are the only things that have been effectively (affectively?) helping me lately

[2024skin]

I'll be fine as long as I never have a moment alone to think about anything

[yunogf]

.

[shwarmii]

it's just me and my Homegoods' autumn leaf print in black microfiber blanket against the world

[ocularose]

so like since i got my surgery- gall bladder removed, i genuinely feel WAY less depressed and i think im ready to talk to people again!

So mutuals if you're interested DM me and i'll send you my discord!

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[malkaviian]

how to realize i've had enough academically speaking today: i started to think about rafael and luca's domestic life, in case they somehow meet and get together after rafael's divorce.

[chaoticace2005]

Why Vox needs to GET THE FUCK OVER THE RADIO DEMON:

(By Velvette, the only competent of the Vees)

(Her list for Valentino here)

1. He’s just not into you

2. We have better things to do than allocate company time to this.

3. He makes you look stupid

4a. He makes US look stupid (and Valentino already does that enough)

4b. Seriously how are we supposed to stop your boy toy from chasing whore around town when you can’t do the same with your ex? We need to set a (gag) good example for him.

5. What do you even see in him? Tacky coat. And that voice is so old-school.

6. You have two people who (reluctantly) want to work with you. Why spend energy on a guy who doesn’t?

7. This was seven years ago babe. Give it up.

8. I’m tired of finding your Alastor Body Pillow around the penthouse

9. Speaking of the body pillow, did you really have to spend 5k on it?

10. Company money should be used for COMPANY things. The fact we even have an “Alastor” budget is stupid. HE DOESNT EVEN GO HERE. ( @onesidedradiostatic )

11. He fucked off once, he probably will again.

12. Do you really want to fuck with someone who has the princess and king of Hell on his side?

13. It makes Valentino insecure about his sexual prowess, which is not good for anyone.

14. I have to LISTEN to him complain about it.

15. No matter how hard you try, nobody will ever beat “Susan” for #1 rival in that man’s heart. (Which is valid cause Susan SUCKS.)

16. Also you’re wasting company time by having Val put together shitty-Alastor look alike porns? Angel Dust does NOT look like Radio Demon ffs, I though Val was the blind one not you.

17. Your screens keep crapping out whenever you think about him, and we’re running out of ones in storage.

18a. I don’t want to keep having to go to overlord meetings for you because you’re having a breakdown over of he’ll be there or not.

18b. Speaking of breakdowns, STOP MAKING THE WHOLE CITY LOSE POWER.

19. You’ve taken over the entire office space with your Alastor-shrine. It’s not really an inconvenience, just creepy.

20a. Not to kinkshame but I walked in on you and Val fucking with Alastor-wigs on, REALLY?!

20b. Also I think you’re making Val insecure about his lack of hair.

21. STOP asking me to design Alastor-cosplay clothes for you. I don’t want anything to do with this.

22. I already have to deal with one pissbaby

23. Seriously, he isn’t into you. Maybe it’s cause you’re a mess. Maybe it’s cause he’s AROACE. Who knows.

24. You keep interrupting channels to brainwash people into hating the Radio Demon, when we should be brainwashing them into other things.

25. We can all hear you talking to yourself in the shower when trying to come up with shitty comebacks.

26. You display your dreams when you sleep, and while it was funny at first at this point it’s so boring. Val and I want to watch something actually interesting for once rather than the same shit.

27. You keep glitching out in bisexual whenever he comes up and it’s annoying waiting for you to put your shit back together again.

28. I’m sick of movie nights where we just watch your self-made compilations of “Alastor’s Epic Fails” or just watch security footage of him at the hotel.

29. Why do you even try and film him? Your shitty cameras can pick hardly anything up.

30. Honestly this whole thing is just pathetic.

31. Like it used to be cute but now?

[rinnstars]

all sides of you!

the five love languages rin shows to you

itoshi rin x reader: fluff, hcs/drabble, not proofread, likes n reblogs are appreciated <3

words of affirmation

- at the beginning, i think hes a lot more averse to saying romantic stuff so its more of in a long term/after months of dating

- mainly leaves sticky notes/passes notes during class/at home with what he wants to say ar rhe beginning

- after a while tho, he’ll try to at least praise you/compliment you irl then slowly tell you he loves you (altho rarely at the beginning)

- has a bunch of scribbled notes he never passed to you all filled with confessions/ things he wants to say that he eventually says at the back of his closet in a box (because he thinks its sentimental)

- a lot better at expressing his feelings and can say them without freaking out internally or stuttering before giving up and calling you a mean nickname to neutralise the compliment

- believes in a speak not tell but he knows communication is key so he’ll try his best so bear with him

- slowburn moment for this but its 100% worth it when he comes home from competition and all he can say is repeatedly whisper i love u into your ear as he pulls you closer into his embrace

physical touch

- again, at first hes a bit touch averse / awkward with hugs/kisses but after a while of dating..

- 100% super clingy esp after coming back from competition/bllk : his hands have to be somewhere on your skin, doesnt matter where hes not picky

- has to sleep with you, hugging you like youre his plushie (drools a little too btw)

- links pinky when you guys walk together doeznt matter where “you’ll get lost” excuse except his entire face goes pink at the touch of your hands

- really likes kissing your neck, he thinks its rlly cute when he can hear you & esp if it leaves a mark :p

- has piggy-backed you before even when youre not lying about your shoes hurting or being tired to be carried by him

- enjoys being babied ngl like he loves it sm when you pepper his face with kisses while he just lies there or when you comb his hair with your fingers: he feels like hes in heaven esp after stressful days

quality time

- tries to see you everyday : either through school/going to yours/his house, dates, or even facetime call

- calls you every night when hes overseas btw and during breaks he’ll try to text you back n reply to your messages

- the type to make up excuses just to hang out with you like “oh i need to get new shoes, come with me” even though he has 2038839 different pairs and then have to huy another one because he cant be caught (you can tell)

- wld go on “study” dates where he just stares at you 3/4 of rhe time and actually doesnt finish any of his “assignments”

- has gone on hangouts where both of you just chill in silence n rlly likes it because theres no pressure to do anything and its kind of calming/relaxing esp after having to deal with teammates n whatnot during work

- wld watch you play games/do anything while he sits beside you, just enjoying your company even if he craves a little more but thats alright by him

acts of service

- lowkey such an act of service guy like even pre-relationship even if he makes excuses for him bc hes trying to be #idgaf

- the type to rush to your home with meds/food/everything if you text him youre sick after missing school

- i feel like. he just kind of enjoys the peacefulness of like cleaning and would do it whenever hes stressed (ignoring the loud music he listens to)

- would bring your necessities sometimes, and ends up at some point lending a hairtie to reo (he has a pack of hair ties bought for you at all times)

- anytime he goes out to get food/on the way home, he’ll always get a portion of what youd like just in case, and doeznt mind just eating it as leftover if you dont want it

- has a notepad on his phone on your favourite orders (drinks, meals, desserts etc)

- if youre forgetful, he’ll text you to remind you : whether that be to attend events/eat lunch at proper times/buy something

- would go back to the store if he didn’t buy what you wanted/if you wanted something else without any hesitation as long as it makes you smile even if he doesn’t admit it

- would learn how to take pictures for you on his own accord : you didn’t even realise until one day you pass him your digicam and suddenly he was an expert photographer compared to just months ago when. you started dating where his hand was blocking the camera

giving gifts

- has a matching necklace with you at all times and its his lucky charm and he’ll 100% kiss it before a game / when he wins the game

- shared wishlist on online stores except he stalks through yours and buys them for you randomly to surprise you

- if you have something spoiled/doesnt work as well, doesnt matter if its a home appliance/jeans that don’t fit etc, he’ll buy one for you without any hesitation when he goes out/on his phone

- gets you trinkets/keychains/stuff that reminds him of you including any sanrio/anime/designs you like / even your favourite food ie. chocolates/candies/chips from different countries he goes to for matches

- would notice if you wore his gifts or not and try to buy more things that you like more ie. if you like silver accessories more, he’ll buy more of those

- even during school days, he would 100% blow his money on arcades if you like to play claw machine/those rhythms games and watch you play and sometimes if you don’t get it, he’ll try to get them after his football training for you and pass it to you as nonchalantly as you can the next day

- always buys matching things: that bracelet he bought you? yup he has an exact pair in his drawers, feels its more meaningful and intimate

- if you ever ask for anything, just know he’s willing to give you that and the whole world and even the whole galaxy

-

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the heavy weight of guilt (part one)

words: 900

warnings: 18+ only!!, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, age gap (reader is 25 though), married!rafe (but not to reader), aged up!rafe, cheating, cheating fetishization, female receiving oral, brief mentions of pregnancy but reader is on birth control, recorded sex, semi dub con in sense of rafe doesnt know hes being recorded

part one / part two

“tell me again.” you moan out, back arching off the bed as rafe pounds into you, as if the act isn't enough.

“you're better than her.” rafe grunts out. there's no point denying it, not when he keeps coming back for more, abandoning his wife to make dinner for herself why he claims to be busy, but the only thing keeping him away is burying himself in your cunt.

“tell me.” you continue, eyes squeezed close as his cock stretches you.

“you're tighter than her.” rafe knows what you want to hear. anything that confirms his feelings for you and not his pleasant wife.

“i know.” you moan out. it's not the first time you asked rafe, and it certainly won't be the last.

“ill leave her for you.” it's not the truth, and both of you know it. the only way that rafe would ever leave is if he gets exposed. he can't ruin the perfect image of his life, the family he poses with for christmas cards and kids he sends away to daycare or boarding school so he doesn't have to grapple with the fact that they're actually his.

“yeah?” you smile up at him, your eyes wicked. “leave her so you can fuck my young pussy every night?”

in truth, you're not even that young. you're 25 years old, but it's a big gap between rafe.

you're certain that's why his wife would never suspect him to be cheating. probably thinks he's past his prime and can't get it up easily, but that's just when he tries to sleep with her. when with you, rafes hunger is insatiable.

“cum in me. make me pregnant like your stupid wife.” you beg out. you're on birth control, but the thought of stopping, of refusing to swallow that little pill, has you excited.

“fuck!” rafe shouts out, spurring his hips even faster, pounding into you until his cock swells and releases, ropes of cum spurting inside of you, warning you from the inside out as rafe grunts your name repeatedly.

he's worried about slipping up if he sleeps with his wife. imagining he was fucking you instead of her. maybe turning her face down so her mop of brown hair is the only thing he can see, reminding him of your soft curls he loves to tug on.

“eat me out.” you tell rafe, commanding him. he may be older, but you're the one in charge of the situation, the one that seduced him into sleeping with you in the first place.

he felt so guilty after that he almost drank himself to death, but still came crawling back a week later, dick painfully hard.

rafe pulls out and plugs your hole with his finger, just like he used to do to his wife when trying to get her pregnant, but only because as soon as her tummy swelled it meant he could stop sleeping with her.

the marriage wasn't a completely loveless one, but they both knew what joining the two most powerful families in the outer banks meant. at least as far as he knows, his wife has been faithful throughout.

his finger inside you is different. as he slides to his stomach between your legs, it keeps his cum from dripping out, but more importantly, allows him to quirk his finger up and press against the gummy spot that has your eyes widening as you gasp.

rafe smiles up at you briefly, the sounds of your pleasure like the sweetest melody, before diving into your pussy.

he misses your taste on his tongue whenever he has to spend a few nights away as he obsessively licks and sucks at your clit. he's learned what you like best, what makes you cum the hardest and fastest.

moans of his name fall from your mouth, louder than you normally would to make sure they're picked up as you reach a hand down, pushing through his messy hair, still slightly wet with sweat from the exertion of fucking you.

rafe looks up at you, your bare chest moving up and down with every heavy breath, pert nipples on display as your mouth falls open as he sucks at your clit.

“close.” you warn, feeling his finger inside of you move even faster.

only a few more strokes until you let out a loud shout, cumming to screams of his name as rafe licks you gently through your high, feeling your clit pulse against his tongue.

rafe pulls away quickly with a sigh, always feeling the heavy weight of guilt seconds after getting you off.

“you should just leave her, rafe.” you sigh as he stands from your bed, quickly grabbing his clothes to get back to his house.

“i can't. it's not that simple.” rafe says. you've been through it all before. the prenup, the status, the judgment. all reasons he can't leave.

“fine.” you huff, standing up as he heads towards your door, not bothering to get redressed yourself. “don't bother coming back then.”

rafe looks at you with hurt in his eyes, partially for you and partially to his wife, knowing it's not fair to either of you.

“hey.” rafe says softly, pressing a kiss to your lips. “ill see you at my lunch break tomorrow?”

“fine.” you say again, prompting another kiss from rafe before he flees.

you wait until you hear the front door open and shut to turn to your dresser, picking up the teddy bear and looking into the hidden camera in its eye with a smile on your face.

“sorry, mrs. cameron.” you say with a dark chuckle.

[imwetforyourmom]

can you do being babied by Matt head cannons?💓

being babied by matt hc’s

a/n: guys I didnt know what to do, so I went with the flow 😓

a/n 2: not her will be out on thursday btw

~

SFW

𐙚 when you cant fall asleep at night, he’ll bring you into his arms and pet your head sweetly, murmuring praising words while lulling you to sleep.

𐙚 even when you’re fully capable, he’ll bring your plate to the sink without a word, he’ll wash it and put it in the dishwasher all by himself, with his own will.

𐙚 on the topic of eating/dishes, he’ll cook for you whenever you ask, whatever you ask, he’ll do it with no complaints. he’ll sweat his ass off trying to cook you the most gourmet meal out there—even if its only a bowl of noodles.

“mattyy,” you whine, throwing your head back to give the extra dramatics. “you dont have to do all this” you mumble, looking across the counters—scattered with dirty pans, ingredients and sauces.

“excuse me!? yes I do, if my baby asks for it, ill make it even better than it already is.” he grabs your arm, pulling you into his side as his eyes stay on the boiling pan.

𐙚 when you have a simple little trip and scrape your knee or palm, he’ll be by your side too fast, his hands grabbing wherever you got hurt and inspect it before grabbing a bandaid and ‘fixing’ it.

“matt! I dont need a bandaid, im fine!” you whine, yet you dont move your limb from his grasp.

“nooo, you’re my baby, I need to take care of you.” he insists, his eyes looking up at yours, cocking an eyebrow before focusing his attention back to your scrape.

𐙚 when you’re unmotivated or just dont want to, he’ll do whatever it is that you needed done, such as, washing your hair for you, helping you get out of bed, helping you get ready for the day, you name it, hes there!

𐙚 he always, always does your laundry for you, he picks it up, he color sorts them, he washes them and folds them. as often as he fights with his brothers about their laundry, he never fights or complains about yours.

𐙚 again, even when you’re fully capable of doing anything, he still insists on him doing it for you, claiming ‘you’re his sweetheart and his sweetheart should never lift a finger’.

NFSW

𐙚 his babying doesnt stop even when in the bedroom, his coos of praises were heard behind you, his hands lightly trailed your back and occasionally groped your ass—all his gentle touches, despite the fast and rough pace he was thrusting inside you.

𐙚 even when you had a bad attitude that day, he continued to praise and baby you, but with more of a slight snark or bite to his words. he whispered a ‘praising’ sentence in your war, before delievering a harsh smack to your ass.

“wanna act like a brat today? whats with the sudden atttitude, you’re supposed to be my baby.” he mumbled, his teeth bit down on the shell of your ear as his hand trailed down your spine, making its way to your ass before smacking it.

𐙚 when his face is between your legs, licking and sucking away, he overstimulates you till you’re crying, whimpering and begging, and thats when he starts his cooing and babying, assuring you that,

“cmon pretty girl, I just wanna take care of my sweet girl.” his breath fanning over your clit, sending shivers down your spine whilst his eyes stare up into yours, a small re-assuring, know it all smirk on his face.

@luverboychris @chrissturniolosfavoritesexdoll @meg-sturniolo @junnniiieee07 @mels22lunchbox @ssilentzom @starsturni @b2cute @livvy4realll @graysturns @wh0resstuff @mattsmad @sturn-bugz @e1ias3 @sunsetsturniolos @strniolo @sturnssmuts @simply-a-simper @stunza @meerkatzthings @joemamaaa42069

@maryx2xx @mattsmad @dollyspsychoxo @mels22lunchbox @riasturns @chrissturniolosworld @ariqolyx @dollyspsychoxo

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