#also me: i am buying these movies to stream from my phone whenever i am sick/have an attack

[shwarmii]

it's just me and my Homegoods' autumn leaf print in black microfiber blanket against the world

[ktheist]

[whenever you’re ready | 10:34PM]

they say the first time you lay eyes on your soulmate, your heart would stop for the briefest moment, eyes dilating, chills zapping through your entire body - as should theirs, a biological response to hold. to touch.

but jeon jungkook’s first words to you are what made you not want to devote the rest of your life to him.

“do you know who i am?” it doesn’t come from a place of malice - you know it doesn’t - because how else the prettiest deep brown eyes and pinkest lips with bunny teeth peeking underneath his half-agape, shock-ridden mouth, could be anything but the definition of hopeless romantic, old sap, soul searcher.

you happen to walk past him - a complete stranger - with a skip in your step as you wave at your friends. the spark was fleeting but it’d struck you right in your heart and settle like fine dust all over the surface of your existence -

and that’s just the thing, he barely even knows you besides what he sees and he’s willing to wait for you as you chatted away with your old time friends. until the cafe almost closes. and until you’ve hugged nayeon and dahyun goodbye with promises to keep in touch and “invite me to your wedding!”

“i do,” is all you offer and it’s all that it takes for this attractive stranger’s eyebrows to rise higher than the clouds - as though physically anticipating something.

with a shrug, you figure you should offer him more than a two-worded answer, “i just don’t care.”

“e-excuse me?” and that’s when that sparkle of hope in his eyes dwindles into confusion and then half-hearted anger - he looks the kind that couldn’t really be mad at his significant other.

“you are,” with that, you walk past him for the second time of the night - only to have nimble fingers wrap around your wrist. perhaps in an attempt to stop you. perhaps because it was the fear of waking up for the rest of his life surrounded by petals instead of the flower of his heart - that induced him to momentarily abandon his reservations.

the current flows through your streams like a thousand prickles of needles that don’t quite break through your skin -

jungkook withdraws his hand as though the touch burned him, “i- uh - sorry.”

he drops his head with a scuff of his foot against the ground and the same hand that wrapped around your wrist a second ago, ruffling his tresses - in the dark, it looked black but you soon learn it’s a darker shade of brown than his eyes.

“look,” you finally say, a sigh leaving your lips from the forthcoming switches in your life at what you’re about to say and do, “it’s not like i don’t feel what you’re feeling - i do and maybe that’s why you’re looking exceptionally attractive right now but that’s also why i can’t do this.”

perhaps it’s the flash of hurt in those eyes that dims even the anger in them. perhaps it’s the way he looks like a kicked puppy - but you still pull out your phone, unlock it and opened the keypads.

“i have to catch the last train but i’ll call you tomorrow,” he stares at the screen for the longest moment, as though seeing his future flash in front of his eyes when and if he lets you walk away after he punches his number into your phone. after what you just told him - well, he’s going to have to take your words for it, “i promise.”

x

they say you should take three days (four days would make them lose interest. two days would be too soon) to text a potential love interest that you’ve met and hit it off for whatever reason, be it because you found out you like the same book, or you frequent the same cafe because of it’s the only one that has almond milk or you both share a similar line of work - but never because you found your soulmate and chose to get home before your bedtime.

but just like how the generic standard of texting someone does not apply to soulmates - jeon jungkook texts you back within less than a minute.

you apologize for the belated text

you: hey

you: this is ___

you: sorry i forgot to text the day after we met

you: my supervisor was breathing down my neck 

you: because one of our team members screwed up her part

you: i just came back from the wrap up dinner with everyone

you: 😣

the emoji was every bit awkward and misplaced - on your part, at least. because the moment you renounce your livelihood with your soulmate, you at least have a sense of self-awareness that you don’t deserve to act familiar.

jeon jungkook: hey!

jeon jungkook: congrats on finishing the project ���🤗

jeon jungkook: if i was close by i’d buy u a meal as celebration but i don’t even know where u live

jeon jungkook: not tht ur obligated to tell me!!!

jeon jungkook: please don’t think i’m pushing you that wasn’t my intention

it’s the full sentence in his last text that sounds every bit like the man who waited for you to say goodbye to your friends and hesitantly approach you with an awkward smile and a more awkward wave of hand ‘hey’ before you acted like you didn’t know him and walked straight past him as if he was air.

x

it’s on the second week that you make arrangements to meet up at the cafe. because after two straight weeks of asking the other how their day went to complaining about the up tight kim naeun who keeps piling work on your desk before you even get at least two done - your conscience does not allow you to prolong the misery of a completely wonderful human being.

“i owe you an explanation.” wafts of smoke dances over the white bear on the surface of your latte as you shove both your hands into the pockets of your jacket, back leaned against the chair - perhaps it has something to do with jungkook’s arms that stretches over half of the table as he props his elbows somewhere just inches from its edge.

every time you get close to him, you feel the familiar burst of electricity course through your veins and it terrifies you how easily your foot takes a step forward and your hands shifting as though to hug him in greeting - before you root yourself in your spot, only allowing for a wave and a ‘hey.’

“before you say anything that will give me so much as a smidgen of hope-” jungkook holds a hand up, eyes of concrete resolution piercing through your own, “-i want you to know that it’s okay. it’s okay you have a boyfriend, girlfriend - someone you’re committed to because that could be a plausible reason, right?”

despite the steely fortress, you still manage to catch the faintest crack of desperation - as though that was a better reason than having been rejected by you because jungkook was, well - jungkook.

and that was far from the case. you want to tell him. want to reach out and hold his hands. want to clear that misunderstanding because within the limited time span you’ve known him, you know anyone that gets to be loved by him - but he’s wasted on you.

you don’t, do anything that is. or tell him anything.

“i’m not puking up petals,” he continues, shadows of creases beginning to form on his forehead, “and that means you don’t entirely dislike me - i hope.”

“i don’t.” this one, you have to say.

and just like that - even though he looked like he had plenty to say - he drops his gaze, rendering you unable to interpret what he’s thinking because the moment you met jeon jungkook, you know he’s a book with bled words and a walking story you’ll need a whole lifetime to finish. perhaps even write the ending of.

when he doesn’t seem like he plans to continue, you trace the handle of the cup- as though expecting it to wrap around your index finger in a mini hug. and so you tell him why.

you’re at a point in life where you think you can get higher than this - perhaps even become a manager in a few years. maybe buy a place on the better side of the city. but you’ll never get a car because you’re terrified of being behind the wheels. you’ve also hit that age where you prefer the solitude of eating instant noodles behind the windows inside the convenience store when you don’t feel like cooking.

as for kids - you have a brother and his wife is pregnant with their first child. you’ll be that aunt that gives your nieces or nephews whatever their parents wouldn’t give them just because you’ll have too much money and too little cause to spend it on.

“you would think someone who doubts the workings of fate would have a much more profound story to tell - but no, i don’t.” by the end of it, you’re the one avoiding jungkook’s eyes, gaze thrown to the moving world outside of the window, “i’m just content.”

“that’s completely valid.” jungkook’s voice brings you back to those doe eyes, a bashful curl on his lips, “makes me feel stupid for thinking you must’ve had someone special to be content.”

“it’s not stupid,” you counter, a smile of your own tugging on the corners of your lips, “just different.”

x

jungkook is ready to leave your life for good - or perhaps keep himself out of it because you made it clear that you don’t need a soulmate. 

it’s you who offer to show him the best barbecue place in town - the same one you went to in celebration of a job well done. it turns out jeon jungkook loves lamb skewers and he loves the one made by the old owner you call auntie kim.

in the next several weeks, you end up meeting every friday night - just because you enjoy jungkook’s company and on jungkook’s part, there’s still a trace of hope, a gleam of biological affection that comes from the cursive in on the inside of his wrist you don’t know how long he’s dreamed of finding the owner of. only for you to be everything he wasn’t expecting you to be.

but you are not entirely immune to his bunny smile and eyes that shrink into crescent moons and the endless collection of jackets he seem to own, each one differing with every meeting from the last.

on one of your countless meetings, jungkook slips a black leader jacket onto your shoulders because, “oh you know, i needed somewhere to hang my jacket on - it’s getting hot in here.”

you’re in the movies and the aircond is blasting at a minus degrees and he may or may have not noticed your hands clasped in between your legs.

and that’s when you know - you want jeon jungkook to meet your favorite people in life.

one way or another, you’re bound to each other but how you choose to treasure the other is completely up to you.

“you’re wasted on my daughter, boy.” your father narrows his eyes, as though if he squints hard enough, he’ll be able to see the strings of mistake made by fates just to confirm his claim, “you’re soulmates but you’re not even together - does that sound normal to you? i’ve never seen something like this happen before - never in my goddamn years of living!”

“maybe it’s time to put your other foot into the grave then, old man.” you can’t just sit idly as your own flesh and blood insult you - though it has more to do with getting a rise out of him than actually being offended by the truth.

and everyone at the table knows it. 

your father points his chopsticks at you, “yah, you ungrateful child.” he shakes his head but doesn’t say more - or rather, couldn’t.

“honey, don’t talk with your mouth full,” your mother, always the calm and collected one, doesn’t even bat an eye at her husband as she places a strip of meat in jungkook’s bowl, a hauntingly friendly smile on her lips, “eat up, son. you’re gonna need all the energy you can get to face the mule.”

“ah, thank you, ma’am.” jungkook lowers his head, smiling shyly at the welcoming gesture.

“oh my,” your mother coos, a hand covering her too-happy smile as she waves off the formality, “just call me mom - it’s like a blessing, my true second child has finally found his way home. it should have been you, jungkook-ah!”

“wait,” you shoot an accusatory look at your mother, “i’m not a mule - i’m an angel. you and dad called me that when i was a kid.

“yeah, that was before you grew up,” your father points out as if it’s the most obvious thing ever.

but then, if there’s ever anything you parents would agree on in a heartbeat - it seems, it’s the fact that they favor jungkook, their daughter’s soulmate, than said daughter.

x

it takes years for you to get promoted. now you have a bigger office than that miniature cubicle that was half the size of the cubicles in the toilet. your team still call you by your name. it’s like nothing has changed.

you’ve used up enough to buy an apartment - something bigger than the one you were renting off with more space and an extra room you’re planning to turn into a study.

“for what? so you can grill yourself to the bones on your off days?” jungkook’s laughter echoes off the walls the way it would with empty rooms.

he’s switched out his jackets with turtlenecks. if anything, it only serves to accentuate his sturdy looking chest and telltale abdominal muscles.

“i know my mom’s been getting more updates about me through you than through me,” you twirl on your heels, hands shoved into the pockets of your mustard loose pants, eyes narrowed at the brown haired man but the smile on your lips tells him you don’t mind, “but you gotta give me a head start here and let me buy the desk and shelves first so i’ll get to say i have no choice but to proceed with the study plan.”

jungkook hums, his own lips curling into a smile, “i don’t know - i’m gonna need a little... motivation to keep my mouth shut.”

he probably means a free lunch or a bag of chips or that new ps5 he’s been eyeing. but nothing could have prepared him for the blue cobalt box that you pull out from your pocket.

it takes a heartbeat for him to stare at the item in your hands as though he’s waiting for it to disappear so he can shake his head and call himself crazy and get it over with. but it’s still there as you twirl it in his face as thought it’s his favorite chocolate you have lying around in your pocket.

“what?” jungkook breathes out a laugh - it’s more disbelieve than humor.

“what.” he repeats the same word after he wedges it open and see the glimmer caught in the band.

his eyes follow your every movement as you pull out the silver band from the box, grip it in one hand as you get onto one knee, not quite caring about the dust that blankets the entire floor and countertops.

he doesn’t know it - but when he gets excited, he’d grit his teeth together while he smiles. and he would throw his hands up before keeping them in a tight grip over his head.

he’s doing that now too.

“i know this is all so backwards and we should at least date first but we’ve been to too many already - we just call them hang outs,” you clear your throat, “but jeon jungkook-”

“yes.” he speaks over you almost instantly - almost as though he only waited to see if you’re not about to pull a ‘that’s a friendship ring’ on him.

“i didn’t even finish!” your shoulder line jolts as you laugh, head thrown back at the comical but endearing sight in front of you.

still, you rise from your kneeling position when jungkook holds out his hand, muttering, “yes, yes, yes, yes,” your own squeals mixing together with his laugh when he picks you up and twirls you around the empty space. it is within a lapse of second, as he stares into your eyes through those crescent ones, dotted with the brilliance of a thousand clusters of stars, does he finally say, “i’ll marry you, goddamn it.”

[spencers-dria]

Trauma

Someone To Stay Ch. 9

Spencer x fem reader

It's been several weeks since Y/N and I started our weekly movie nights. After starting Harry Potter we decided that we would keep watching our way through the series until we finished them. Last week I was out of town on all of her days off, but tonight we get to watch our favorite together, Prisoner of Azkaban. Seeing as we both love Halloween, this doesn't come as much of a surprise.

Last time I had asked to borrow her Harry Potter cookbook. As a surprise I've been cooking pumpkin pasties. I normally don't do much cooking, but this was well worth it. Movie night has become incredibly casual, so i slip into some purple pajama pants and a black t shirt before driving to her apartment. We decided movie nights would all take place at her apartment, seeing as she had the nice TV with a decent sound system. I had previously spent almost all my time reading, so all I had was my mom's old TV tucked away in the corner, only used when I felt the need to binge Dr. Who.

It's not long before i'm knocking at her door, warm snacks ready to go. She opens the door and looks down with a huge grin.

"Are those what I think they are?"

I nod, glad to see she's excited about them. After a moment I notice a pleasant smell wafting from the kitchen.

"You made something too?" I peek my head into the kitchen hoping to discover the source of the scent.

Y/N pulls out two mugs topped with foam, smiling like a giddy little kid. We both take a sip, and I feel the warmth filling me up as I take in the drink that tastes like Autumn in a cup. I've never had butter-beer before, but this is perfect. I look up to see whipped cream coating Y/N's upper lip, and based on the laugh she's holding back, I would guess I am sporting the same foam mustache. We both bust out in laughter. Something about spending time with Y/N makes me feel like a kid again. I know I can share my knowledge with her and she actually encourages me to do it quite often. But she also makes me feel like I can be goofy and silly and just have fun. I had almost forgotten what that feels like.

After we each curl up on our end of the couch with blankets and pillows, I can't help but realize how happy I have been having her as a friend in my life. Something about this realization pulls my mind in the opposite direction, and I suddenly find myself remembering why happiness feels like such a long forgotten stranger...Maeve. The name had not crossed my thoughts in weeks. This realization leaves me with a guilt that sits like a pit in my stomach. Before I know it, I am no longer focused on my favorite Harry Potter movie, but am spiraling into a dark hole once again. I lose myself so far into my thoughts that I almost don't notice that Y/N has stopped the movie and is staring straight at me.

I turn to her. "What is it?"

Y/N furrows her brow, a deep look of concern filling her eyes.

"Spencer, you're crying."

"I am?" I reach up to feel the wet streaks left behind on my cheek. I hadn't even realized. Now not only have I been crying in front of Y/N, but she knows something is wrong. Knowing her, she won't let this go so easily. I also doubt she'll buy any lie I try to feed her. She may not be a profiler, but she sure knows when someone she cares about isn't being genuine with her.

Luckily, she must also know me better than I realize. She doesn't push me too hard for information. She scoots over to my side of the couch before laying a hand on my shoulder. I keep my eyes glued to my lap, avoiding eye contact as best I can. I'm afraid that if I look into her eyes now, I'll completely fall apart. Something about telling your friends about your trauma makes it very real, and I don't want to relive that day, not again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm not sure..." I answer honestly.

Instead of pushing me, she moves her hand to rub my back as we sit there in silence. Something about the kindness of this gesture finally breaks me. I let my head fall into my hands as tears start streaming down my face, and I don't even bother trying to stop them. I can't hold this back anymore, not from someone who's become like a best friend to me.

We sit there just like that for several minutes, Y/N silently rubbing my back, me crying like a big baby. Part of me feels embarrassed, breaking down like this, but the other part is too tired from holding all of this back to even care anymore.

Finally, I think my body has run out of tears when I hear Y/N say "What can I do? What do you need?" It's so quiet I almost miss it.

"Her name was Maeve." I am surprised to hear the words leave my mouth. I glance over to Y/N to gauge her reaction, but she's only sitting there, listening patiently.

"I started getting these headaches. They became so crippling that they started affecting my work. It scared me because...well my mom is schizophrenic. I guess I have always been a little paranoid about showing symptoms. The doctors ran tests, labs, scans...everything they could think of. As a last resort I reached out to this geneticist. After a bit of correspondence, it wasn't difficult to see that she was brilliant. She seemed to enjoy keeping in touch, so we would write one another letters. We eventually started calling one another. But...she had a stalker. She didn't know who it was or what they wanted, but she was scared. That's why we wrote letters. And I only ever called her from telephone booths, never the same one twice. I ended up sharing a large part of my life with her... One time before hanging up the phone she even said "love you" like it was the most normal thing in the world. I never said it back, but even if what I felt was love I never got the chance to say it to her. Her stalker was a former grad student, and she got to Maeve before I could."

I stop and take in a deep breath, swallowing the growing lump in my throat before continuing.

" She shot herself in front of me, killing Maeve along with her. It was the first time I had ever seen her in person too. It happened a couple months ago. Every time I think i've moved on it feels like the pain starts all over again. I sometimes feel guilty for even trying to move on, for ever being happy."

Y/N doesn't say a word as she lets me speak. She just nods, taking in every word. After a couple minutes of silence, she lets out a large breath before finally opening her mouth to speak.

"Spencer, I can't pretend to even come close to understanding what you are going through. I wish I had the answers. I wish I could tell you when the pain will go away, but the truth is it will probably never fully leave you. Trauma has a way of sticking with us. We learn how to process it and cope with it more efficiently, but it's never truly gone. Now I can't pretend to know what Maeve would have wanted for you, but as your friend who's with you now I want to tell you its okay to be happy. Its also okay to not be okay sometimes. No one has it together all of the time. It's ok to talk about it, to cry about it, and there's no right or wrong time. Trauma has a way of sneaking up on us, triggering us when we least expect it. And whatever you need to be ok, whatever you need to do in order to deal with this, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. You can always call me if you need to talk or come over. Even if you just need a distraction from it, if you find yourself slipping into a dark place, you can call me, and we will talk about literally anything else or go find somewhere to grab dessert or watch a movie. If you need someone to just sit with you, I'll be there. What I'm trying to say is whenever you're ready, just tell me what you need and I'll be there for you."

I feel like I could cry again, but luckily I don't. Instead, I turn on the couch to face Y/N and just pull her in for a hug, resting my head on her shoulder. This alone is all I need to at least be okay, even if just for tonight. As someone who lives alone, my only real family living across the US, no one ever really knows just how much I crave touch. It's not exactly like I can just approach JJ, Garcia, or Morgan and say "Hey I could really use a hug today." It's a love language for me, but I go weeks without touching a single person. It wears me down sometimes. Sitting here, hugging Y/N, is the most comforted I have felt in a really long time.

I want to tell her the other reason I'm struggling. About the cravings I have to battle when things are already emotionally challenging. I decide I'm not ready to share that quite yet. It's not that i don't trust her, but if it's going to affect the way she sees me, I want to put that off as long as possible.

I also take a minute to go over the words she's said to me. I can't help but notice her tone, her body language, the look on her face. She may be great at comforting people, especially since it's part of her job, but those were the words of someone who knew. She spoke from a place of fully understanding trauma, which tells me one thing: She has had trauma of her own. I make a mental note to bring it up later. I don't want to push her, but I want to make sure she knows she has the same support from me incase she ever needs to talk.

We sit there for a few more minutes, her arms wrapped around me. My breathing eventually slows down as I try to get my sniffles under control. I feel my head start to pound from how hard I have been crying. I sit back to rub my hands into my temples. Y/N stands up and makes her way into the kitchen, returning a couple minutes later with a cold water bottle, a box of tissues, and some aspirin.

She starts to walk out of the room before turning to me.

"I think I've got something that might help you feel a little better. It can't heal with heartbreak, but maybe it can help you to relax and take your mind off everything, if even for a little while."

"Y/N, you take care of people all day at work you don't have to..,"

"Hey!" She cuts me off before I can finish. "Why do you think I became a nurse huh? I enjoy taking care of people. And if I can help, even just a little, I won't feel so completely useless in this situation."

"Y/N, you've already helped. Just listening, being here with me. But I guess its no use arguing with you, you're too stubborn." A small breathy laugh leaves my nose and I glance up to see a small smile before she steps out of the room.

She returns a few minutes later and doesn't say a word. Instead she grabs both my hands and pulls me off the couch, leading me into the guest bathroom.

A take a look around at everything she had gotten ready.

"A bubble bath?" I shoot her a look of uncertainty.

"Just trust me okay." She rolls her eyes playfully. "I'll be in the living room. Just shout if you need me okay?"

I decide to just go with it. She leaves, shutting the door behind her and flipping of the lights. The room is suddenly glowing in light from candles scattered all around the bathroom. After slipping into the bath, I tense up at how hot the water is before it finally relaxes all my muscles. Breathing in, I notice the smell of eucalyptus and lavender filling the air. There is also a bluetooth speaker in the corner, softly playing zen spa music with the trickle of a rain in the background.

I have to admit, this is the most relaxed I have felt in...well I can't remember ever feeling this relaxed. Baths always seemed a bit girly, but this was incredibly therapeutic. I may have to try this again after my next difficult case.

When I finally decide to get out, I realize I'll have to change back into the same clothes. I quickly realize Y/N had also laid out a  star wars t shirt and black sweatpants for me. She thought of everything. With her being on the taller side and enjoying baggy clothes, they actually fit me fairly well.

When I finally step back into the living room she looks up at me and grins.

"Looking good Dr. Reid!"

She never calls me that, and for some reason it makes me blush just slightly. She pats the spot next to her on the couch, signaling for me to come over.

"Well, how do you feel?"

"Umm I wasn't sure about the whole bath thing but... I feel fantastic actually! How did you know that would help?"

"When you do what I do, you have to find multiple ways to unwind" she laughs.

I glance down at the shirt I'm wearing.

"So Star Wars huh?"

Y/N smirks "Are you really that surprised?"

I answer with a laugh "No I suppose not."

"Well I hope you like them too, because that's what I had lined up when it was my turn to pick for movie night!"

I can't help but hide a giant grin. I was happy to hear she wanted to continue our movie nights. Between all the Harry Potter movies and Star Wars movies combined, it seemed like we'd be spending a lot more time together.

"Is it okay if we finish the movie?" I am hoping I didn't completely ruin the night with my breakdown.

"I thought you'd never ask" she smiles before turning to the TV and resuming the movie.

As I watch the characters making their way into the shrieking shack, I feel my eyes grow heavy. I guess I had gotten a little too relaxed, as I am now struggling to stay awake through the rest of the movie.

When I open my eyes I notice the room is no longer glowing from the light of the TV but from the daylight streaming in through the windows. I realize i'm stretched across Y'N's couch, under one of her many fuzzy blankets. I sit up and look around, noticing Y/N is no longer there. After checking her kitchen and bedroom, I start to worry. Before I start to call her on the phone, I notice movement outside the window. I make my way onto the patio balcony to see her sitting on her bench with a book in her hands. At the sound of the door, she looks up and meets my gaze, smiling as she closes her book.

"Good morning sunshine" she says laughing just a bit.

"What happened?" I ask, joining her on the bench outside, running my hands through my hair as I attempt to fully wake up.

"Well, after awhile I noticed you fell asleep. I really thought it would be best to just let you get your rest."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..." I start before she cuts me off.

"Its no problem! Not last night and not any other time. You are always welcome here." She gives me a warm, genuine smile. I know this is a sincere offer, one I'm sure I will take her up on again.

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

New Years with Lan Zhan

The following week leading up to New Years was… tense. But not in the way it had been before. This tension…. It was.. Well it was certainly potent. 

I was just… I was AWARE of him. I’d decided to hope and hoping ment I had to re-examine how I saw him. How I saw how he saw me, rather. Reading into his actions and words with a romantic lens is…. Well… The kind of tension it creates is not exactly kid-friendly, let’s just say.

…..

I wanted to jump him, okay? Jump his bones. 

Constantly. 

I wanted to kiss him. To hold him. To touch him. In every place. In every way.

Ya boi was thirsty okay. (Still am but whoo-boi that was a TENSE week.)

We kinda danced around each other. I was very aware of the fact that we had kissed on Christmas under the mistletoe and that I had almost kissed him again two other times since.  

Whenever we were close… the urge was so strong. Remembering the taste of his lips makes me just want to lick mine as if I can find traces of it still there. And every time I do I KNOW his eyes follow the movement. 

Does that mean he wants me to? Is he thinking about it too? Or is he just tracking movement like human eyes just do?

We agreed that our first kiss was a disaster and didn’t mean anything.

Was it possible… that he feels the same way I do about that? Because it didn’t mean nothing. It meant everything. 

Even if I tried to make it mean nothing. Even if I tried to convince myself it was just a mistake. Not to be repeated. Heat of the moment. Wrong. Manipulative. Bad. 

And it was.

But at the same time

Oh… 

Even if I never should have done it. That kiss…. 

When did I get to be this selfish? 

But maybe…. Selfish is okay.

Because Lan Zhan returned that kiss. And maybe it wasn’t just out of pity. 

I mean I’ll never know. I’ll never be ABLE to know regarding that kiss. But that doesn’t mean I can’t know for… well…. Future kisses. If he wants them even half as much as I do.

Even if it’s just a casual attraction. I can deal with that. If he wants me in ANY capacity beyond friendship….  I mean I can work with that.

Right???

---------------------

It all came to a head on New Years Eve. Or… Well I guess just New Years. We’d decided to spend the holiday together at home.  

All in all there isn’t much to say about the day leading up to ringing in the new year together. We decided to order in and have something delivered so we could be lazy and stay in our sweatpants all day. (Well I stayed in his sweatpants. I have a modest selection of clothes again now but nothing is more comfortable than stealing his. ((Also on that note, I’m still really kinda sad that I lost my sexy jeans. I haven’t been able to find anything that hugs my ass quite so well as those did. Shame.)))

We spent most of the day just sitting together on the couch and watching stuff. Streaming movies and trying out some episodes of new TV shows. We ate when we were hungry and munched when we weren’t. 

We even found some of the left over face masks to wear while he started our nightly routine of rubbing ointment into my hands (which by then had already almost completely healed due to his care and attention). My hands are completely healed now he still rubs in the lotion every night. It’s something neither of us seem willing to end. 

And… well… okay so… somehow. Don’t ask me how. But all day long I happened to find myself more often than not sitting er… in his lap.

Okay so it was on purpose. I sat on him as a ‘joke’ but then he slid his arms around my waist to hold me there and so… Well, I just stayed. 

I tried to get off at one point saying his legs were probably getting numb but he just pulled me back on and told me to stay.

So what was I supposed to do? His arms stayed around me most of the night. And when his arms weren't around me, his hands were on my hips or arms instead. Always touching me somewhere. Sometimes when I’d laugh at something on the TV his grip would tighten. Other times, when I was relaxed against him, he’d let me nuzzle his neck and breathe him in. I couldn’t help myself. In those moments he’d stroke my back, tracing patterns into my skin over my shirt. 

When it started to turn towards the evening I did finally get up. He let me after I promised I’d be back in just a moment. I hopped off to the kitchen. I’d bought a store of very low-alcohol content beverages. Lan Zhan and I had briefly talked at some point about trying this - seeing if we could find alcohol content low enough that he could enjoy getting tipsy without blacking out entirely. There were just things like Mikes Hard Lemonade or wine coolers and such. Very low content stuff. I tried to pick out things I thought he’d enjoy the flavor of. 

He looked confused when I returned with arms-full of different drinks, but still came up to help me take some.I reminded him of our talk of experimenting and said how I thought this was the perfect opportunity to try. 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. If you’d rather not I’ll just drink these myself. But I thought it would be nice. Since you said you wanted to try to drink with me and these are very mild.”

He cut off my rambling with a hand to my cheek and a smile to my heart. He placed the bottles on the coffee table and selected something to start with. I grinned at him and opened up a bottle of my own Emperor’s Smile (always in supply gratitude of the ever-attentive Lan Zhan. Poor liquor store is gonna think he’s an alcoholic with how often he buys it. ….

Am I an alcoholic? I mean I don’t have a problem going long periods of time without drinking. I honestly just like the taste. And I don’t usually drink enough to get even a little buzzed… so like… that’s fine right???

┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah well I’ll talk to Wen Qing about that later…..))))))

I resumed my rightful place on his lap when he literally picked me up and placed me there. I laughed which made him smile and together we started to drink. He sipped at first, carefully testing out the flavor, but soon apparently decided that it wasn’t bad and drank with more confidence. 

We took it slow at first, seeing how he reacted. By the end of the first bottle he was feeling it a little but only just, he said. Which was a good sign!!

We thought about doing a drinking game but I thought that might be pushing it for our first time doing this together and we decided that depending on how this went maybe we would try that next time. If there was a next time.

The ‘Game’ idea stuck though and we both suddenly remembered the Switch that SangSang had left him all that time ago. We still don’t really have many games for it but that’s okay. 

Long story short

Tipsy Mario Kart is hilarious. We kept drinking through the night and both got a nice buzz going. I don’t know how to drive anyway but whatever. It helps you if you fall off the track and there are no turn signals or anything to worry about. But like okay here’s the thing.

As Lan Zhan got tipsier, he started to drive slower and MORE carefully. Like There’s this section on one of the maps where if you take a riskier jump it works as a shortcut. Like one of those high-risk/high-reward things. 

But like… I stopped one time to watch him. He very carefully steered his car so that he was lined up on the ramp and tried to like back up so he’d have a runway. It took him a good 20 or 30 seconds to just get his car straight. And then he punched it. 

Except there wasn’t any momentum. Because he went from dead-stopped. So he got to the top of the ramp

And just flopped over upside down on the track below. He was so frustrated!! It was adorable!

He came in dead last that time. (Though I was second to laugh because I kept flying off the edge as a result of laughing so hard while pressing the ‘go’ button. Oh my god. It really was hilarious. He was SO frustrated. I mean he’d tried SO hard!!). 

And don’t even get me started on Rainbow Road. I wish I’d recorded it somehow to show you guys. Just. Damn.  There was this one time that I flew off the road, yeah? And like normally the little guy carries you back on with the fishing line right?

Except I managed to fall ONTO the track below. Like going the wrong way and way further behind but like it was impressive!

Well I thought so anyway. 

Still managed to lap Mr. Careful though because Lan Zhan was DETERMINED not to fall off the road after the botched ramp incident. 

In the end we were so into the game that we both lost track of time completely. Fortunately sober Lan Zhan foresaw this problem which meant that at 11:45 the two of us were scared out of our skin by the sound of his phone’s alarm going off. 

“Oh! Oh yeah!! The fireworks!!!” I yelped in a moment of panicked clarity. (Nevermind that 15 minutes was more than enough time for even tipsy us to get our asses up to the roof like we’d planned.)

We gathered up some blankets and made the hot chocolate we’d planned for to keep us warm and both of us tromped up the little-used ladder that led to the roof. 

I’d always wanted to do this specific cliche. Sitting on a roof with the person I loved to ring in the new year together under the light of the celebratory fire-works. We were close enough to see them pretty well from there, Lan Zhan had promised. Even though he’d never done it himself. 

I trusted him. As I do with all things.

We managed to get our blankets set up. We’d planned on using chairs but instead decided on just some cushions instead so that we could stay closer to each other. 

“For warmth” I claimed. 

I remember waiting on that roof with him, half on his lap again as our misting breath mingled with the curling steam from the hot mugs of chocolate held in our hands. 

There was just enough snow around to make everything a little muffled. Quiet and calm. 

Between the liquor and the hot chocolate and Lan Zhan’s body pressed so close to mine, cold wasn’t even a whisper in my mind. I could have stayed like that forever.

I keep saying that don’t I? I guess it’s not so bad to have so many forevers, huh? Just means I’m happy with him, doesn’t it? And I am. I really am. As much as I want these moments to last forever… As long as I can have a forever with him… what more in this world could I possibly ask for? That’s what I want. I want a forever with him. I don’t care how or where. Just… as long as it’s with him.

My thoughts were swimming lazily in that direction when the first of the fireworks shimmered in the distance. We were far enough away that we could hear the boom without feeling the rumbling that accompanied it. I shimmied the rest of the way onto Lan Zhan’s lap when the display started and he put both of our mostly empty mugs aside so that he could slide his arms around me. 

The air shimmered. Pinks and golds and silvers and greens. Reds and blues  and oranges and purples. Sometimes in patterns. Sometimes just in a spray of glittering color.

I’ve always loved fireworks. The sound and the sight and the feel of them. The way they color the world for even a moment. I was always fascinated how different they are in person than they are with even the highest quality camera. It’s just… you have to see them live. Film just doesn’t do them justice.

Kinda like Lan Zhan. Beautiful on paper but in person just.. Stunning. 

The finale was timed perfectly for Midnight. “Happy New Year, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said softly in my ear, making me shiver for the first time since coming outside. And not from cold. 

I turned in his lap to look at him. “Happy New Year,” I replied in a whisper. He was so close. So so close.

This time… this time we both moved. I hadn’t been cold but the press of his lips against mine almost burned anyway. The kiss… it wasn’t the passion of our first kiss, or the awkward chastity of our second. This one lingered just a moment. Just enough that we could be sure that it was reciprocated on both sides. And when we parted a moment later we still stayed together. Lan Zhan pressed his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes and smiling that sweet smile that’s just for me. 

I remember laughing a little and nuzzling my nose against him, scrunching it in an attempt to be cute. It must have worked because he chuckled too. 

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but despite the warmth of the moment, eventually we did start to feel the chill of the midnight air. It was with great reluctance that I untangled myself from him. We gathered everything up and took each other’s hand as we made our way back inside to the warmth of the apartment. 

We let go to start cleaning up a bit before bed. I knew it was late for Lan Zhan but I also know that he’d prefer going to bed with the place relatively tidy and that we’d thank ourselves in the morning. 

He went off to the kitchen to at least clean up some of the dishes and I set to putting the living room to rights. 

My task was the easier one so I finished pretty quickly. Unwilling to be separated from Lan Zhan any longer than I had to, though, I went to the kitchen to see if he needed some help. But then….

Well you all know I’m a little goblin, right?  

He was just… his back was turned to me at the sink. And his sides were exposed. Just begging to be tickled. 

And well, I wasn’t DRUNK, (at least off alcohol) but I was definitely tipsy and so I crept in like the goblin man I am, slinked up behind him and went in for the tickle. He SQUEALED and started laughing like a mad-man. All the dishes he was holding crashed into the sink and he held onto the counter for dear life. His leg seemed to give out on him for a moment as he gasped for breath between more peals of laughter. It wasn’t until the pig snorts started that he really tried to fight me. His ears were so RED as he twisted in my grip, snorting all the way like little (or not so little) laugh hiccups. Oh Oh I never thought that a pig snort could sound so wonderful. Hah. It was ridiculous.

Eventually he managed to twist around and wrap his arms around me, effectively pinning my arms to my sides so he could catch his breath. His head was resting on my shoulder as we both let our laughter die down some. 

It was all a ruse!

 A RUSE!!!

All of a sudden while I was pinned there completely defenseless I felt

Hands

On

My 

Ass!!!!

Apparently tipsy Lan Zhan decided that copping a feel was the only reasonable path for revenge.

Except… I don’t know how he knew. Or maybe it was just luck.

I am not ticklish anywhere on my body. Not even my feet.

Except for one place.

Nie Huaisang if I find out you’re the one who told him this I will skin you alive. 

My butt… I don’t know why and honestly it is a very well guarded secret except that SangSang found out by chance once. But my ass is SO ticklish. 

Lan Zhan grabbed a chunk (And there is a nice chunk to grab if I do say so myself) and just… 

I collapsed instantly. 

And now he knows.

Forever.

That if you tickle my ass

I bray like a damn donkey. 

Like I laugh THAT hard. That I can’t breath. And when I gasp for air it sounds like a fucking donkey.

Which of course got his pig snorts happening again. 

Thank GOD no one was near us wondering if we were expanding the bunny cafe into a full on fucking petting zoo. 

Jesus. 

And 

Just to make matters WORSE.

Okay so I’m a weak man. 

And I was trying to squirm away from him and he was trying to keep tickling my ass

And in order to keep tickling my ass and keep me from running his arms were still around me

Which means that we were pressed very close to each other

And I was squirming to get away and laughing and

Well….

You can guess what happened.

Let’s just say we were really feelin’ each other. 

⚆_⚆

And if you DON’T understand what I mean. Good for you. Keep your innocence. I will not tarnish. 

SO I mean clearly he was disgusted with me and made me sleep in the guest room and avoided ever touching me again, right? Except he wasn’t and he didn’t.

It was… well it was definitely awkward but…. We didn’t let go. 

I mean we didn’t do anything else either. Maybe we could blame the alcohol or the fact that it was late or the just natural reaction of rubbing up against someone else. All of which may be true. 

I mean we did talk a little. It is a natural reaction right? And… well… 

I could still feel that kiss from the rooftop. I’d been trying NOT to linger on it too much, deciding it was something for my more sober brain to process in the morning. But I mean… We had just kissed. Under the moonlight. On the rooftop. In some new cheesy cliche 80’s romcom moment that I’ll treasure forever. 

And then

We…

Ugh…

We both decided in the end that that was something to be dealt with when we were sober and that it was either way a natural reaction that just happened sometimes and that we could talk about it later if needed. 

And after we.. em… caught our breath… we did eventually finish cleaning up and went to bed. As we normally do. Which means he was holding me. (Though I did pointedly avoid hip contact just in case ( ఠ ͟ʖ ఠ). )

We did NOT actually mention it again. I don’t know for sure that he remembers it and there’s no way in fuck I’m gonna bring it up if I don’t have to. At least not right now. We’ve got… other things to sort out in our relationship first. 

Like… like the kisses. 

First one doesn’t count (even though it does count.) because of circumstance

Second one still doesn’t really count because peer pressure and circumstance

But third one…..

It could have been the alcohol. And well, yes. The alcohol absolutely played a part. I know it gave me courage but I don’t know how it was influencing him. So STILL iffy on that circumstance and all that. (Alcohol =/= consent guys. Legit.) but like with how we’d been acting since Christmas and just… 

It’s given me a lot to think about. 

And we haven’t really talked about it but we aren’t like… avoiding it either. We’re just… I think we’re both testing the water. 

And I’m starting to really really… It’s more than hope now. 

His birthday is like in a week. And I’ve made my choice. I wanted to wait until my situation was much more settled before I even thought about trying to move our relationship in any direction. 

And Now….

I’m in a much better place. I’m emotionally much more stable. And if needed I can find a new place to stay now so I’m not so dependent on him anymore.

So I think… I think at his birthday on Saturday… Maybe after the actual shindig… when we’re home alone together…. 

I’m going to get him a gift just like he got me and…. And I’m going to tell him. I’m going to tell him everything. Tell him how I feel. I’ll confess and then… well… Whatever he decides then… well I’ll respect it. 

But I’m tired of this in between. I want one or the other. I want to know. I want to take my chance. Shoot my shot. I want to throw the ball into his court.

I just… I just hope he picks it up. 

Fuck. This is gonna be hard.

[bitter-sweet-farmgirl]

Modern Writing Prompts

This is just a compiled list of prompts I’ve collected from Pinterest and other random places, but really only work in modern contexts.  I have other prompt lists that get more specific or more vague as well.  If you want to use one in a request to me, just use the following ‘Character Name and Prompt No. 35 from the Modern Prompt list’ for example + some details if you’d like.

There’s quite a bit on this list, so be wary....  I mean, it’s only like 130 prompts...  Also, I did not organize it.

Key:  

‘*’ Denotes something that could be used as dialogue.

[*] Denotes a swear word that I removed.

"If I was your boyfriend, I'd pepper you with kisses and spoil you so bad."

"My family thinks we're dating."

"It wasn't meant to go this far, I swear."

"You were ready to leave me for her."

"There is no us.  There never was."

"Don't leave me.  Don't you dare leave me."

"You know for a [*] fact that wasn't supposed to happen."

"Sort yourself out first."

"Leave.  Before we wake up regretting what we've done."

"All he ever did was use you?  Why can't you see that?"

"You think this will make me stay?"

"You thought this was real?"

"My mum asked about you again."

"He already knows."

"Can you please come and get me?"

"I'm at the hospital."

"I don't know where I am, help me."

OTP on a hammock together.  Person B is asleep on Person A's chest while Person A keeps one foot on the floor so they can rock the hammock in hopes of Person B remaining asleep.

"It's three in the morning."

"You're my regret."

Take me laser-tagging and then push me into a corner and kiss me.  Then shoot me and walk away.

"Smiles are contagious."  "Don't worry, I'm vaccinated."

"Did it hurt?"  *Rolls eyes "Let me guess, when I fell from Heaven?"  "No."  "What?"  "When you fell for me."  *Grins*

"So...  What's our plan for tonight?"  "We do not have a plan--"  "Well, let's make one."  "--I have my own plans that don't include you."  "I thought we were a team!"  "We are.  Which is why I need a break."  "You need a break from me?"  "Yes...   So I'll still like you in the morning."  "Wow.  I'm that bad, huh?"

Which person of your OTP furiously does push-ups while the other sits on their back and reads a magazine.

He found her sobbing in the stairwell at work.

As teenagers, a boy and a girl agree to marry if neither have by their 35th birthday.  Follow the boy as he attempts to sabotage every relationship the girl has till then.

"I don't care where I'm sleeping as long as it's with you."

As she walked towards the exit of her favourite coffee shop, she glanced down at her cup.  "You're beautiful."  Was written in place of her name.  She glanced back and their eyes met.

She opened her apartment door to hundreds of roses.  She knew they were from him;

he'd found her.

"I've had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with."

"No, you can't get up!  You're my prisoner for today."

"Shh...  It was just a bad dream.  Just a dream, okay?  None of it was real."

"You.  Cuddle.  Me.  Now."

"Baby, you'll never know me."

"I don't give a damn."  "You give so many damns they're visible from SPACE."

She gripped the rim of the porcelain sink and tried to steady her hands.  "One last time."  She whispered to herself.  One.  Last.  Time.

"Keep looking at me like that," he warned, leaning casually on into the counter and sipping his coffee.  "And see what happens."

She looked up at him, tears filling her already swollen eyes.  "But why?  Why would you love me?"  He tightened his grip, pulling her more snugly into his embrace.  "Because you bug me, weirdo.  Duh."

"Just relax, I'll wash your hair for you."

"I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention."

"Are you wearing my shirt?"

"You are ridiculously comfortable..."

"You know how to unlock handcuffs with a paperclip?  Teach me!"  "Absolutely not."

"I've never been so scared in my life."  "It was a bubble..."

He was leaning against the wall trying to support his own bodyweight, and his gasps of pain were like music to her ears.

Your date drops you off.  A few minutes later they return to your door sopping wet from the storm because their car broke down.

The phone rings.  The voice on the other end says, "We need you again."  Then hangs up.

A boy and a girl were part of the same team for their high school sports camp.  The girl had a crush on him for a very long time, but was not sure how to say it to him.  In spite of that she mustered some courage and casually said, "hey...  You know what?"  "What?"  "You have the prettiest smile I have ever seen."  The boy's eyes glittered and he replied, "you know what?"  "What?"  "That smile exists only because of you!"

"Did you get my note?"  "Of course I got it.  You taped it to my forehead while I was sleeping."

"It's not my birthday."  "It's definitely your birthday."  "Give me a calendar.  It's not and I will prove it to--Oh.  Never mind.  Happy birthday to me."

As she stepped on the train, I fought ever urge to climb on after her.

"C'mere, you can sit on my lap until I'm done working."

"Just pretend to be my date."

"Handsome, broken, and a mistake from the beginning.  Are you sure you're comfortable with this?"

"Are you decent?"  "Not morally, but I'm wearing pants if that's what you're asking."

He was bad.  He smoked, he broke the law, he drove too fast for his own good.  He

didn't care because nobody taught him how to.  But when it came to her, he wanted to be the best man.  He couldn't bare the thought of her being hurt by him... Or anyone else.  He would kill to protect her, the girl who cared about someone as worthless as him in all her perfection.

"I want to take a shower, so you should probably join me.  It'll save water."

"It's midnight!  Where the hell were you?"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"I might have slept with your [clothing article] when you were gone."

"No one has to know about us, I know this could ruin you."

"Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you've been dying to ask me?"

"You said I'd get to have you all weekend.  Why can't you just tell them you can't go?"  "Because it's my job and it's important."  "And I'm not?"

"You can call me whenever you want...  Even if you don't have a reason to."

"I'm bad at texting first, so I always end up hoping you will."

"This movie is really scary, but you're into it so I'm trying not to cover my face the whole time, but--WHAT IS THAT?!"

"Wait, don't pull away...  Not yet."

"You look really cute in that sweater."

"No, like...  It's just, I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes."

"You know I hear you talking, but I still don't have my coffee."

"Did you think I really cared about you?"

"It's too late to go back."

"I'm sorry this had to go down like this."

"That's right, I lied."

"Just so you know... I don't regret anything."

"You will no longer love me if you see who I truly am."

"But I did all this for you...?"

Person A wins a big stuffed animal for Person B at an amusement park and offers to carry it for them.  Person B says they'll carry it themself, and carries it around smuggly.

While on a date, Person A very shyly touches Person B's hand and Person B reassuringly (and tightly) holds Person A's hand.

"Please get home safely."

"I've got you, baby."

"Man, I can't pay attention to anything else but you."

"Baby, I'm right here.  Shh.. I'm here."

Person A: *does something stupid* Person B:  "....Why are you like this?"  Person A:  "Aww, come on!  You know you love me!"  Person B:  "...Where did you get that idea?" *Joking*  *Silence* Person A:  *Sniffles* Person B "WAIT I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT, I LOVE YOU!"

She was the broken and battered girl who longed to be loved.  He was the misunderstood boy who only wanted to love.  She had never paid him any attention until today, when she bumped into him at her locker, causing everyone to stop and stare.

"I'm coming to get you, stay there."

"Are you safe?"  "I don't know."

"Can I at least buy you a coffee?  For old times sake?"

"Don't talk to me.  It's 6 AM and I haven't had coffee yet, so anything I do or say cannot be held against me."

"Dude, that jacket is mine, give it back!"

"YOU USED MY TOWEL?!"

"They're going to love you, don't worry!"

"Stop hogging all the blankets!"

"Wait, when did I take off my clothes?"

"I'm fully convinced you never graduated kindergarten."

"You have no idea how to make toast?!"

"I haven't showered in four days."

"You're more zombie than human."

 "I can't believe I got the first date, let alone a year."

 "Wanna, like--I mean if you're not busy...  We could get lunch?  Or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time."

 "So I was driving past a pet store and I couldn't help but wonder how cute an animal would be in our home."

 "It's midnight!  Where the hell were you?"

 "I wish I had a camera."

 He/She crashed through the doors of the police station and slammed his/her hands against the steal counter.  "Give me back my wife/husband!"

 The rain came down in heavy sheets.  He pulled his soaked [type of hat] down to protect his eyes and moved forward.  Where was she?  Would he find her in time?  A darp shape against the bridge railing caught his eye when the lightning flashed.  He rushed forward and grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him.  He couldn't tell for the rain if she was crying or not, droplets streamed down her face.  Her mouth opened to let out a cry, but when she saw it was him, she pleaded with her eyes.  He only nodded and put his arm around her.  He'd protect her.

 "It's me!  It's me!  Calm down, baby, please."

 "Is the movie too scary?  I can stop it if you want and we could watch something else."

 "Watch, this is the best part!"

 I chose that part in the play only so that I could kiss her.  I hadn't thought about the acting pact, the prancing onstage before a packed audience, or about the make up.  All I wanted was to finally touch her face, kiss those lips, have my moment, even if that was all I ever had.

 It's not like she meant to trip and spill coffee all over him.  It was just the way of her people.

 I woke up, to find a boy's arms wrapped tightly around my waist.  "What are you doing here?  I thought I told you to sleep on the couch!"  I was in disbelief.  I pried his hands off me and it was only then that he stirred.  "Huh?  Oh.  I um....  You had a nightmare."  He face was suddenly serious.  "Who's [guy name]?"

 Person A and Person B share an apartment but have separate rooms.  Person B has a nightmare one night and is really rattled by it.  They get out of bed and walk down the hallway to knock on Person A's door.  The door is already open and Person B walks into the room silently.  They go up to Person A's bed to find that they're already awake.  Person B tells Person A that they had a nightmare.  Person A scoots over in the bed and lets Person B curl up with them and they fall asleep together.

 Person A and Person B are in the kitchen.  Person A is short while Person B is slightly taller.  Person A:  *Struggles to retrieve items from top shelf*  Person B:  "Do you need me to get it for you?"  Person A:  *Gasps*  "How dare you insult the vertically challenged!"  Person B:  *Laughs* "Okay then..."  Person A:  (Moments later) *Defeated sigh* "Help meeeee...."

 Person A:  *Completely serious*  "I have to get something off my chest."  Person B:  *Fingers crossed* "I hope it's your shirt, please..."

 Person A is noticeably disheveled as they enter the room.  "Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff."  Person B, also disheveled and grinning smugly follows behind.  "I'm stuff."

 Person A has an online business meeting with someone important who lives across the world so they have to stay up late for the meeting.  Person B doesn't want to leave Person A alone so they grab a pillow and lay in Person A's lap as they attend their meeting.  Bonus points if Person B accidentally smacks Person A in the face in their sleep and everyone laughs and calls them cute.

 Imagine you've been stood up by your boyfriend on date night and the waitress keeps asking if you're ready to order, but you keep asking for more time, hoping he's just late.  People are starting to look at you with those apologetic looks like they know and you start to feel worse and worse about the whole situation, but just as you get up to leave, this boy you've never seen before sits down explaining loudly, "sorry I'm so late, Babe.  Traffic is crazy right now."  And he quietly adds, "I'm [NAME].  Just go with it, yeah?  Whoever didn't bother to show up is a jerk."  And you do go with it because he's being sweet and trying to save you, (plus he's super cute), and as you're leaving the restaurant after the best non-planned date ever, he asks you out for real this time.

 "That has got to be the lamest pick up line in existence."  "Don't worry that's just Plan A."  "So what's Plan B?"  "To take you hostage."

 "I love you from the bottom of my heart, but I don't trust your cooking.  Stay out of my kitchen."

 Person B dancing around their home, headphones in, eyes closed, singing as loudly as they please to their favourite song while Person A stands in the doorway watching their oblivious partner with a loving smile on their face.

  Person A walked into the house, threw their bag on a chair and laid down on the carpet with an air of defeat.  Person B walked in a few hours later, saw Person A on the ground and set to work.  They picked up a few blankets and a couple of pillows.  Then Person B walked over to Person A, laid everything out, and proceeded to lay down with Person A.  Person A slowly curled up to Person B and fell into a restful sleep.  Five hours later, they're still there, just soaking in each other's presence.

 Person A was sitting up in bed, headphones on and staring intensely at their Ipad

screen, which flickered brightly in the dim room.  Person B rolled over and slowly sat up, glancing at the clock and seeing it was well past 2 AM.  Person B leaned up against Person A, eyes still closed and asked why Person A was still up.  Person A popped out an earbud and quickly [states reason] and then turned their attention back to the screen.  Person B yawned loudly, grabbed the device and tossed it off the bed.  Right before Person A could protest, Person B curled an arm around them and forced Person A to lay down.  Person A fell asleep within minutes, tucked securely within  Person B's arms.

 Imagine your OTP getting ready for bed, and Person A is sitting on the bed.  Person B tries to sneak up on them with a hug or a kiss, but Person A has quick reflexes and thinks they're being attacked.  So they accidentally hit Person B in the face and they fall back onto the bed.  Person A quickly realizes who it was then and keeps saying sorry really fast and hugs them and kisses where it hurts.

 Person A has finals coming up and Person B has already finished theirs.  Person A is stressed over the finals and breaks down one night lamenting their ability to do anything right.  Person B calmly picks them up, brings them to bed and cuddles with them, cooing to them and telling them all the wonderful things Person B loves about Person A.

 Imagine Person A walking into the kitchen, only to find Person B in tears.  Person A immediately rushes over to Person B's side, fretting over them, consoling, and asking what happened.  Surprised, Person B explains they were simply cutting onions.

 Person A is baking cookies and has to split their attention between watching the timer and fighting off Person B, who keeps trying to steal cookie dough from the bowl.

 Imagine your OTP making out on a couch, but then one of them accidentally rolls off and the other is either frantically asking if they're okay, or laughing their head off.

 Imagine your OTP ice skating and one of them falls.  The other tries to help them up but they lose their balance and fall on top of the other.

 You were studying for your exams in a few weeks, your boyfriend was sitting opposite you, simply staring.  You couldn't concentrate and were getting frustrated.  "Stop it!"  You yelled, slamming your pencil on your book.  "Stop what?"  He asks, smiling innocently up at you.  "Stop staring, stop making me want you, stop making me feel--argh just st--"  He shut you up, placing his soft lips on yours, letting all the stress wear out.  "Stop stressing babe, it won't do you any good."  He mumbled, placing his forehead onto yours.  "Come here."  He insisted, patting his lap.  You happily accepted, moving over to him and plunking yourself down.  He wrapped his arms around you and you rested your head on his chest, hearing his heart beat.  "That's enough studying for today, babe.  You'll ace that test, okay?"  He kissed your forehead, rubbing your arms.  You nodded and rested in his arms, feeling safe and sound.

 What if he held you tightly in his arms as you lay on his chest, drifting into sleep by the sound of his steady heartbeat.  Feeling the slight vibration of his lungs as he hummed softly.  His hands brushing lightly in your hair as his lips pressed against the top of your head, but stayed there for awhile.  Then he let out a faint sigh, taking his lips away, seeming to be deep in thought.

 You shift around in bed, trying to find a comfortable position.  No success.  You hear your boyfriend stretching.  "Can't sleep, babe?"  He asks, letting out a sleepy sigh.  

"Come here," he whispers.  You move over to him and he snakes an arm around your waist and wraps his leg around yours as you rest your head on his bare chest.

 As you lay in bed alone, struggling with reaching sleep, you toss and turn before huffing out in annoyance at still being awake.  A small fraction of light creeps into your room until the door closes and the edge of your bed dips down underneath his weight.  He carefully climbs under the covers, reaching an arm out for you, pulling you closer to his body with your back to his front.  "You can sleep now, baby.  I'm home.  I love you."  He gently whispers in your ear, lightly kissing your cheek then laying his head on the pillow next to you to fall into a dream-filled sleep of your boy being home.

[purplesurveys]

1115

survey by vintagekid

Name:  Robyn.

Happy with it? I am now, but I certainly wasn’t as a kid. Other kids were cruel and would tease me solely for my name, which made it hard for me to socialize. I got the same bad Batman jokes too many times and I also got called a boy. These seem petty now, but as a kindergartener adjusting to life in school, it had been traumatizing and made me wonder if my classmates were going to remain the way they were for the long run which no 4-year-old should be mulling about, really.

Do you wear stilettos? When I get the chance, which isn’t very often at all. But I do love stilettos.

How important are looks to you? I find this question very vague, but generally looks matter to me to a certain extent, like how I’d want to look nice and proper for a job interview or for formal occasions such as weddings. Relationship-wise, I also think I have to feel a level of physical attraction towards someone for me to consider seeing them.

How often do you download music? I don’t anymore. I stream all my music.

Can you name a philosopher? Socrates.

What would you do if two unicorns tried to whisk you off to candy mountain? I just looked this up and this is apparently in reference to an ancient viral video, like it was around before viral videos were even a universally-acknowledged concept. That said, I don’t have a clue how to respond to this lmao.

You became the deciding vote in an election, which party would you go for? I don’t base my voting decisions on parties because the party system in my country is a tragically broken shitstorm in which every single party rallies the same values and principles, just executed in their own – and usually poor and unsustainable – ways. I do my research on each candidate, see how they answer in debates, look at laws they’ve authored, see which marginalized groups they proactively support (if they do), and decide from there.

Do you have a bzoink account? I don’t but I’ve been a semi-regular visitor since like 2009.

How many phone calls do you typically make in a day? Zero. People usually call me.

What song are you listening to? Tell Me It’s Okay by, surprise surprise, Paramore.

Do you understand things others your age do not? I don’t know. Maybe. Everyone’s bound to understand some things better than others.

Do you hate people that label themselves? Why would I hate that? And why would their chosen label be my business?

How many windows do you have open? None. There’s plenty of mosquitoes at night, so even though the cold evening air would been pleasant to have we have to keep the windows closed by nighttime.

How superstitious are you? Not at all.

If you were in Harry Potter, which house would you be in? I’ve been told either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw.

Which comedian can always crack you up? It’s not a habit of mine to watch comedians.

Are you nagged about being on the computer too much? Not since I was a teenager. Since college I’ve been doing most of my work, if not all of it, through my laptop, and I think my parents understand that I have to use it all the time.

Do you feel bad about anything you've done lately? Nothing comes to mind, no.

What's your texting bill typically like? My SIM is prepaid, so it works the other way around. I put load credits in it only if I know I’ll have to call/text/surf regularly.

What song did you/do you want played at your wedding? Turning Page by Sleeping At Last.

Do you have a lot or hardly any lines on your palms? Idk, a decent amount I guess? I don’t think it hits either extreme.

What's your favourite word? Poignant.

Are you allowed to swear in front of your parents? Yeah. They’ll shoot me a glare sometimes, but I’m in my 20s and...they know they can’t really do anything about it anymore lol.

Do you eat apples? No.

What are your addictions? Coffee, I suppose.

What are some words you use in daily life? I use intensifiers often, like very, really, super, absolutely, etc. I’m also big on expressions hahaha like oh my god, seriously, for real, and ugh.

Do you look things up on Google constantly? Yes.

Where do you get your music from? Spotify. Sometimes YouTube if I wanna look for a leak.

What do you think of people with afros? That they are people with afros...? I don’t really know what you’re looking for me to say, lmfao.

--

survey by charey-chas

Do you like getting your picture taken? Not for the most part. My body instantly gets all frozen and awkward when a camera’s placed in front of me, which I hate because I do wish I could have more photos of myself around. Is your phone anywhere near you? It is not, actually. It feels great and I really should start making it a habit to keep it away from me entirely on weekends. Do you ever enjoy going to school? In my first school, I enjoyed going mainly (and probably only) for my friends; but Catholic school was predominantly a torturous experience. The rigidity isn’t something I look back fondly on, and it felt like being kept on a tight leash for 14 years. College was a lot more enjoyable in every way possible. I liked going to (most of) my classes and learning as much as I loved the vibrant org culture and the general freedom that comes with university life. Have you ever gone on a road trip? Lots. The Philippines is a relatively small country and unless you want to jump to a different island altogether, there are many provinces you can readily travel to by car.  Who do you get along with best in your family?  Nina, my sister. Then my dad. I clash a lot with my mom and I don’t talk to my brother. Based on your personality, what animal do you think you'd be? Cats and I don’t get along very well hahaha but I think I’m similar to them. Would you ever buy anything from an infomercial? Maybe once, just to be able to say that I have. Have you ever made a snow angel? No, because I’ve never seen snow before. Have you stayed in a hotel in the last month? No. We had a brief getaway in Tagaytay but we switched things up and went to rent a condo, instead of book a hotel room, for a weekend. What's your most comfortable outfit? If I want to go for comfortable, I usually go for my rompers or jumpsuits. Do you text or IM more? IM these days. Would you rather listen to music or play it? Listen. I have no music-playing skills whatsoever. Have you ever been in a hot tub? Sure. Do you like pizza? LOVE IT Are you sleeping in your own bed tonight? Yes. If not here, the couch. But most likely it will my bed tonight. Are any of your friends having a sleepover right now? I doubt it. Angela and Hans had an overnight stay in Batangas a few days ago for their Valentine’s shenanigans though, which I guess kinda counts as a sleepover. Have you ever been to a house party? I don’t think so. That’s something I missed out on in my college days, but I don’t mind. Do you listen to your iPod or the radio when you're in the car? I think I keep a good balance. If my phone’s battery is not very high I’ll rely on the radio; and sometimes I’ll sync my phone’s Spotify to the car as well.

--

survey by charey-chas

What song is stuck in your head at the moment? RAVI’s BUM. What's your fathers' middle name? He doesn’t have a second name, but I’m not sharing his legal middle name on here either. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer? On work days, I’d say 8-10 hours. On weekends, maybe a little slightly less than that since I do like getting off the laptop sometimes to rest my eyes. Could you live without the internet? People from the past managed to live without it, so I know I can. It would just be extremely inconvenient; and having been dependent on it for such a long time now, I would likely be clueless on how to navigate most activities. What's something you're really into? Learning about cultural differences!! That’s why reading survey answers has always been fascinating to me. I would love a website that dives into the various everyday behavior people observe in other countries, but the ones that do exist use like 20- or 30-year-old sources, so they aren’t even relevant at all anymore. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? Knives Out. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D or in an IMAX theater? Just once. It was Denise and Leigh’s 18th birthday treat and they brought us to watch Doctor Strange in 3D. Do you prefer skirts, shorts, or skorts? Shorts. Have you ever vandalized? Just a few school chairs in grade school, but otherwise I’m too paranoid for vandalism lol. What's the longest you've stayed up? Maybe a little longer than 24 hours. Who'd you have a sleepover with last? Gabie. When's the last time you baked something? Nearly a decade ago. Our oven was new at the time and I wanted to try baking cookies. Do you like to dance? When I’m alone. Do you scratch mosquito bites, even though you're not supposed to? Yup. Are you afaid of spiders or do you like them? I mean I’m not fond of them, but I also don’t scream and run away when I see them. I just don’t care for them for the most part. What's a pet you've always wanted? I’ve only ever wanted dogs, and now I’ve got two of them. Do you like mice? Not really. Would you ever get a tattoo? Sure. I’ve been considering it for a while now; it’s just a matter of being able to save up for one. Do you prefer to walk in the street or on the sidewalk? Street, if it’s bare and safe enough. Otherwise if I’m in a busy city with regulations and all I’d obviously rather be on the sidewalk. What's your favorite t-shirt? My CM Punk Best in the World merch. Who did you last think about? I remembered Deina when I was thinking about the tattoo question. She got a pawprint tattoo on her wrist shortly before her senior dog passed away and ever since learning about it I’ve also been thinking about getting the same tattoo. Do you like giving hugs? I love giving hugs and it’s an automatic response for me whenever I see someone I love, which is why Covid is such a torture for me. Do you prefer hardwood flooring or carpeting? Hardwood. Did you/will you get a car for your 16th birthday? No. I got a car when I was 17, around six months before I started college. Have you ever eaten a worm? No but I’d be willing to try.

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

[crmsfanfiction]

Second Chances-Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Bright Days Ahead

Wiping furiously at the tears streaming down her face, Willa was so tired of crying. She knew it was part of the grieving process and it was a good thing to cry. It showed she still had the ability to feel something. Even if it was only pain at the moment. Standing up she headed for the bathroom to wash her face and try to fix her make-up to look a little less Courtney Love after an all night bender. Taking a long look in the mirror Willa swore she wouldn’t cry over either man again. She wasn’t about to get involved with Sebastian Stan again after the hell he put her through 10 years ago. She still had to deal with a cheating soon-to-be-ex fiance to break-up with officially and a house to sell. That was next on her mental to-do list.

Straightening her shoulders she left the trailer and headed towards Scarlett’s trailer. She needed some girl talk and baby girl cuddles. Knocking on Scarlett’s door Willa stepped back to wait for someone to answer. While she was waiting a beautiful blue Staffordshire bull terrier wandered over to her and sniffed her legs. Looking down Willa smiled and once the dog sat down Willa knelt next to her. “Oh look at you. What a pretty girl you are. Where’s your owner huh?” she said as she ran her hands over the dog’s head and back.

Willa looked around and noticed a young man walking quickly towards her holding a leash. “Oh my god. I am so sorry. Did she bother you?” He asked with a crisp British accent as he snapped the leash onto the dog’s collar. Willa stood up and smiled after giving the dog one last pat on the head. “Not at all. She was a perfect lady. Came up and sniffed my legs and then sat like a good girl. What’s her name? She is beautiful.”

“Tessa and thank you. She seems to like you. I’m Tom by the way. Tom Holland.” Tom said as he held out his hand. Willa shook it with a smile, “Willa. I’m Robert’s niece for all intents and purposes. It was nice to meet you Tom and you as well Tessa. Have a good day.” She said as Scarlett finally opened her trailer door and ushered Willa in with a smile and a hug.

“Hey girl. RDJ said you were in town. What’s going on? You look tired.” Scarlett stated as she handed off her little girl to Willa, who immediately cuddled her to her chest. “Hey there Buttercup.” Willa said as she softly kissed the baby fine hair on her head. “Tony cheated on me. I caught him. It’s over. I just have to tell him that.”

“I am so sorry. I know you loved him deeply.” Scar said as she took in her friends appearance. Dark circles under her eyes. Mascara smudged and faint tear tracks running down her face made Scar’s heart hurt for her friend. Honestly Scar never liked Willa’s former fiance. He had always seemed just a bit off. He put out a very off-putting vibe that made her skin crawl. She never could put her finger on why she felt that way. Now it made sense. He was a very good liar and manipulator. He had probably been cheating since the start of the relationship, but Willa was blind to anything, but his charm.

Everyone had said they were perfect for each other. Tony had acted like Willa hung the moon, but to Scarlett, whenever he’d smile at Willa when she wasn’t looking it seemed predatory or something. Scarlett had shared her feelings on Tony with Robert, but he said she was just imagining things. So Scarlett let it drop, but still didn’t like, nor trust the man. She hated to see her friend hurting, but was so glad Tony was going to be gone. Willa deserved better.

“I should get going. I wanna make some calls to my realtor to try and get the house listed again. Also need to start looking for a new place to live. We can catch up again soon.” Willa said as she handed off the sleeping baby to Scarlett’s nanny as Scarlett had to head to set to film. Scarlett helped Willa stand as they quickly left her trailer and started to walk back towards the set. Passing by Robert’s trailers, Willa veered off after hugging Scarlett and promising a girls night soon.

Going into a trailer Willa pulled out her phone and called her realtor to set up and appointment to see about selling the house and maybe finding a new place. She also called her best friend Becca to tell her everything.

“Hey Becca.”

“Hey. What is going on? Tony called her frantic last night saying he couldn’t get ahold of you.” Becca asked as soon as she heard Willa’s voice.

“I walked in on him fucking some blonde slut in our bed! To hell with him. I texted him this morning and told him I caught him and we needed to talk, but face to face. I refuse to stoop to the level of breaking up with him over text.” Willa said as her voice broke. Becca cursed a blue streak and broke it off with, “I’ll fucking rip his dick off and shove it up his ass.” Willa laughed at the last in spite of herself.

“Don’t do that. Then he would sue and then I’d have to get a hitman and it would be messy.”

“Fine I won’t rip his dick off, but David reserves the right to punch him when we go get your stuff IF he mouths off. You know David never did like him much.” Becca replied as she looked towards her husband, who nodded his head in agreement. Willa sighed knowing she’d not win this argument, so she didn’t even bother trying. They spoke for a few more minutes and Willa hung up after promising to be home in a couple days. She did have to go back to work in a few days anyway.

The rest of the day was spent on set watching everyone work, avoiding Sebastian as much as humanly possible and catching up with everyone. Those damned blue eyes of his were on her more than she wanted them to be. She could feel him staring whenever her back was turned or she wasn’t paying attention. Finally the day was over and Willa was headed back with Uncle Bob to the house. She was tired and she just wanted a long soak in the tub and to head for bed early. She had alot of things on her mind and just wanted to sort through them in peace.

“Feeling ok there Willabee?” asked Robert as he glanced over at her. He took in her far off expression.

“Yeah I am ok. Just got alot on my mind. Probably going to go to bed early.” Willa said. Robert nodded and the rest of the short drive was silent. Pulling up to the house Robert parked and turned off the car. Both got out and walked into house. Willa hugged Little Man and gave Princess kisses as she walked by and headed upstairs. She headed for her bathroom and turned on the taps for the tub. She headed back into her room and pulled off her clothes and grabbed a night gown. She headed back into the bathroom and turned off the taps. She threw her hair up in a messy bun and slipped into the water.

The water was the perfect temperature and it was helping to relax her from head to toe. Closing her eyes Willa’s thoughts turned from Tony to Sebastian. Back to the first day they’d met in 2005.

______________________________________________________________

September 2005

Willa walked onto set and sighed. She wasn’t exactly sure where she needed to go, but knew she needed to head towards the main set. Being a runner on a movie set wasn’t ideal, but she was interested in how sets worked and what went on behind the scenes. When she’d found a job as a runner on a movie set to film in Canada, she’d jumped at the chance and sent in her resume. It had been a very long two weeks waiting for a call back, but finally the call came and she’d nailed the interview. Now two months later she was actually on set.

Wandering around the set had Willa catching sight of a group of guys sitting around the craft area drinking coffee. Knowing she was a bit lost and needed to get to her boss so she could start work. Sighing and pushing back her social anxiety of having to talk to strangers Willa walked over to the group of guys. “Excuse me. I am so sorry to interrupt, but do any of you know where I can find Kathy Wilson? I am supposed to be meeting her in about 5 minutes and I am lost.”

“Yeah. I’ll walk you over to the main trailer area. She should be there somewhere.” a guy with steel blue eyes said as he stood up. Willa swallowed hard. His eyes were beautiful. He was good looking, in a boyish kinda way. He smiled this little half smile making Willa smile back as well. “Thanks.”

They took off walking and chatting about nothing really. Soon they reached the trailers and had to part ways. “Thank you again for your help.” Willa said as she looked up into those blue eyes.

“No problem. I never did your name.” he said. Willa laughed.

“Wilamina, but most people call me Willa. How about you? I didn’t get your name either.”

“Sebastian, but my friends call me Seb.”

“Well it was nice meeting you Sebastian. Thanks once again for walking me over here. I’ll be seeing you around.”

“Yeah definitely.” he said with a smile and wave as they went their separate ways.

______________________________________________________________

Willa jolted awake as her head slipped off the back of the tub. The water was freezing and she was shriveled up like a prune. Getting out of the tub she dried off and pulled on her nightgown. She brushed her hair and threw it back into a braid for the night. Crawling into bed, Willa sighed and snuggled down into the soft blankets. Her heart was still hurting, but she felt slightly better than before.

She hadn’t realized how much seeing Sebastian again would hurt. She’d thought she had gotten over him before she’d met Tony, but damn his voice and eyes took her right back to that girl, who was head over heels in love with him. She can still remember him stopping her as they wrapped filming for the day and offering to “buy” her a cup of coffee from craft services. She had accepted and they had ended up talking for hours about their likes, dislikes, hobbies, and families. She’d fallen hard for him. He had such a boyish charm to him. He was a little shy, but once he warmed up he was wickedly sarcastic and funny.

She’d been drawn to him like a moth to a flame. None of the guys she’d dated in high school could compare to him. He’d called her Mina on accident and when she hadn’t corrected him, he continued to call her that. It was his own private nickname for her. She’d never allowed anyone else to call her that. Tony tried once, but she’d shut that down hard. One of a few times she’d denied Tony what he wanted.

Falling asleep that night Willa thought maybe there were brighter days ahead. She just had to take it one day at a time.

______________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: Hello everyone. Just wanted to apologize for this chapter taking so long. It was difficult to write and it is a little shorter than I’d like, but next chapter will hopefully be better. Next chapter Willa goes home and confronts Tony. I can’t wait to write it.

Constructive criticism is encouraged. Feedback makes me happy. Flames will be used to keep plot bunnies warm this winter.  

[allthingsfangirl101]

Chapter 4: The Support Group

Masterlist

Abby's POV

It's been two weeks since Caleb and I Skyped, and I haven't had a proper night's sleep since he left. I was sitting at work, going through files and answering the phone, when I felt my cell phone buzz. I looked to see my boss was preoccupied before looking at the text.

Felicia: Hey, honey. Sydney has to make dinner to earn her Homemaking badge for girls scouts. Want to come over? (If it's bad, I promise I will order pizza.)

I laughed at her text before quickly typing a response.

Me: Sounds like fun. Can I bring anything?

Felicia: Just your cute self. ;) Felicia: Oh, and a dessert. See you tonight? Around 6:30?

Me: That I can do (to both). I will see you two gorgeous ladies tonight at 6:30.

The rest of work went by like normal. Before I knew it, I was at home changing out of my pencil skirt and into a nice pair of jeans.

I drove to their house, the apple pie I picked up from the grocery store in the passenger seat. I parked my car on the street and headed up their driveway.

I smiled as the door swung open. "Abby!" I laughed as Sydney wrapped her arms around me.

"Hey, Syd." I smiled as I hugged her back. "How's my favorite kid?"

"I'm good," she shrugged, pulling out of the hug.

"Just good?" I asked.

"I miss my dad," she said, softly as she looked down at her shoes.

"I know," I said softly, making her look up at me. "I miss Caleb. And I know that they miss us too." I kissed her forehead before walking with her into the kitchen.

"Hey honey," Felicia greeted as we walked into the kitchen.

"I brought a pie."

Felicia looked up at the grocery bag in my hand and smiled. "Store-bought. My favorite," she teased. She laughed before adding, "I actually love that brand. Whenever we have to take food to a party, I buy that brand and say I made it myself."

I laughed at the wink she sent me as we walked into the kitchen. Throughout dinner, as Syd talked about school and her friends, I noticed Felicia watching me. Closer than normal. Almost like she was studying me or seeing right through me.

After dinner, we watched a movie before Felicia made Sydney go to bed. "Night, Abby." She said, giving me a hug before jogging up the stairs.

"Night, Syd," I called up after her. I walked back into the kitchen to see Felicia pouring two glasses of wine. "She's a strong girl."

She looked up at me and smiled. "Yes, she is. I'm proud of her."

I hesitated before asking, "Do you ever hate that Mike leaves you guys every couple of months? It can't. . . It can't be easy on you or Sydney."

"I'd be lying if I said it was easy," she said as she handed me a glass. We walked into the other room, sitting on the couch as we continued to talk.

"It's never easy saying goodbye, but day-to-day you get used to it. You get used to not seeing him every day. You adjust to talking once every few weeks–if that. You get used to going to sleep and waking up alone."

"That's the hardest part for me. Going to sleep just to wake up in a cold, empty bed," I muttered under my breath as I lifted my glass to my lips.

She watched me as I took a sip. "How are you doing with all of this?" She asked gently.

I bit my lip, knowing that if I lied she would see right through me. "The first time is always the hardest," she added.

"I try to be strong, for him. But, it's hard. The other day when we Skyped, he told me that he didn't think it was worth it. He didn't think that what he was doing was worth being away from me."

"What did you say?"

"What was I supposed to say?" I asked, letting out a forced laugh. "I told him that it was. That it was the first week and it would get better. Easier." I sighed as I tucked my knees up under me.

"I miss him, Felicia. So much. All day, I'm terrified. Every time I come home and there is a message on the machine, I fear the worst. I fear that one day, I am going to answer the phone and it will be someone telling me there was an accident. I am constantly terrified that I will never see him again."

At this point, tears were streaming down my cheeks. Felicia reached over and grabbed my hand. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart," she said gently. "It'll take time, but it'll get easier."

She hesitated before adding, "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Nothing," I shrugged.

"There is a group, a support group, for loved ones of workers on the rig. They meet once a week at the church down the street. We get together and talk about our fears. It may seem silly, but it has helped me a lot. Being in a room of people who are also terrified, helps. Come with me. They are always welcoming newcomers."

I thought about it for a second before sighing. It couldn't hurt to go just once, right?

"Sure," I said quietly. "I'll. . I'll come."

She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze as she sent me a smile. "It'll be good, I promise."

                       * * * * *

I sat in the cold chair, subconsciously playing with the seam of my shirt as I avoided eye contact. Felicia was sitting next to me, talking to a woman she knew.

Part of me felt silly sitting in this group. As I looked around, I noticed it was mostly older women, a few men, all in their late thirties to early forties. I was the only one still in their twenties. And it showed.

"Hello, everybody." Said an overly cheery voice. I followed the voice to see a woman, around Felicia's age, in a brightly colored dress with over the top red lipstick.

I tried to pay attention as we went around the circle, but I noticed that the more stories and worries shared, the more my fears intensified. I should have been comforted with how everyone else in the circle felt the same way I did. But, I wasn't. The reassurance was replaced with justification.

"What about you, sweetheart?"

I looked up to see everyone looking at me. I glanced over at Felicia to see her sending me an encouraging smile. I cleared my throat and nervously played with my fingers, subconsciously spinning my engagement ring.

"My name is Abigail Peterson. I'm engaged to Caleb Holloway, but you guys probably know him better as Hollywood." I smiled as a few people around the circle laughed.

"He's the youngest on the rig," I continued. I paused, unsure of what to say. "And. . . I'm scared. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what they do. I don't know if it's dangerous. I don't know the risks."

I paused, trying to stop the tears. I took a deep breath as I continued, "He's my best friend. We've known each other since I moved to town. It was junior year, so everyone already had their tight groups of friends. I spent months eating lunch alone, walking to my classes by myself and not talking to anyone. Until one day, something changed."

I smiled as I remembered that day. "Caleb broke the nonofficial seating chart and sat next to me in our Chemistry class. Not just next to me, but in the seat that made him my partner. It started with him sitting next to me, saying "hi" every day and then went to him sitting with me at lunch, asking if I could help him study, and inviting me to parties. By the end of that year, we had become close friends. Senior year, some girls were bullying me. Well, they had been bullying me since my first day at that school, but senior year they got worse."

I bit back the tears as I looked back down at my hands. "When Caleb found out, he was furious. He started walking me to every class, immediately waiting for me as soon as the bell rang, and whatever else he could do so he was always there. When they tried to bully me again, he instantly stood up for me. He told them to stay away from me and, surprisingly, they did. That's when it all changed," I said, my voice breaking.

"That's when he changed. He started acting differently around me. He would sit closer to me, started putting his arm across the back of my chair, even holding my hand as we walked down the hallway. When prom came around, he asked me to go as his date. That night, he told me he loved me. We've been together ever since."

I looked up to see everyone smiling at me, some woman even had tears in their eyes. "He's always been by my side and now that he isn't. . ." My voice cracked. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "For as long as I have known him, he's talked about working on the oil rig. So, when he got the chance, he jumped at it. Because I love him, I supported him. How could I not? But, when we woke up the morning he was leaving, he was hesitant."

I looked back down at my hands, tears slowly starting to stream down my cheeks. "He debated whether to go or to stay home, with me. As he went back and forth, I knew that if I had asked him to stay, he would have. But. . . I couldn't, right? I couldn't ask him to give up his dream for me. That's not what love is. Love is supporting each other, through everything. Through anything. I hate the saying, "if you love someone, let them go". I didn't use to hate that saying until I fell in love with Caleb. "

"All I want is to live a life with Caleb. I want to marry him, have a family, and grow old with him. But, this rig risks that dream. I have tried to be strong and brave for him, but. . . it's hard. It's hard when every night, I dream of losing him. It's hard when every time my phone rings, I'm almost too scared to answer it. It's hard when I barely talk to him. It's hard having the man I love be so far away."

I took a deep breath, officially out of things to say. I looked up at the group and shrugged. "I'm scared of losing him. I can't help it." I gasped when I felt someone grab my hand. I looked over to see Felicia smiling at me as she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Abigail," the woman in charge said softly. "It's okay to be scared. We have all felt the worry, the constant fear, the anxiety as we sent off our loved one to a dangerous job. Especially the first time we sent them off. We just have to remember one thing; take it one day at a time."

As they wrapped up the meeting, I kept thinking about the one thing I was supposed to remember. It was definitely easier said than done.

After the meeting, people stayed to eat the refreshments and help clean up. I lost count of how many people came over and said one of the same six things.

"You're doing great."

"You are so strong."

"You will get through this."

"Just take it one day at a time."

"Hang in there, sweetie. It'll get easier."

"I'm proud of you for coming here and telling us your fears."

The woman in charge said all six to me within ten minutes.

"They can be a little intense." I looked over to see Felicia walking over to me.

"Yeah," I said letting out an awkward laugh. "A little."

She pulled me into a side hug. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "The first time is always like that, but you did great."

"Thanks," I sighed.

"Do you want to go get coffee?" She asked, looking at me knowingly.

"No thanks," I said softly. "I have work in the morning. I'm just going to go home."

"Okay," she said hesitantly. I started walking out of the building but stopped when she said my name. "If you need anything, let me know."

I nodded as I sent her a forced smile.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Are you still in quarantine/under stay at home order? (if you're taking this during Covid-19, that is) The state isn’t, but I am. 

Has stuff been opening back up where you are? Yeah. Although, now dining in isn’t an option again in my area. 

What have you missed most that you haven't been able to do due to Covid-19? I didn’t do much even before all this, but I did like going grocery shopping with my mom and going to the movies, which we did quite often. And now with it being summer I’m really sad I can’t go to the beach. Beach days were the only thing I liked about summer. I could still go shopping with my mom and go to the beach, but I just don’t feel safe or comfortable going out in public and being around people right now when the number of cases are still so high and continue to rise. It makes me extremely anxious and scared. It doesn’t help that my state is a hotspot.

What state do you live in?  California.

Do you personally know anyone who has had Covid-19? Yes. She actually ended up recovering from that, testing negative later on, but she died recently from complications caused by it. She was on dialysis and after she got sick, even though she got better, it affected her kidneys and she had to stop dialysis. Once that happens, it’s not long after that you pass away. She was my grandma’s best friend, thus a very close family friend. :( She was the sweetest, caring, kindhearted person. 

Have you had it? (or think you might have?) No, not so far. Although, whenever I feel crappy or cough for any reason my mind automatically goes there. It’s not unusual for me not to feel well and have days where I’m feeling extra crappy, but nowadays I have to play the game: is it my normally crappiness or something else? :/ I also have dry mouth and my throat tends to get dry in the summer anyway and ugh again it’s something normal for me but I have to wonder about that, too.

Do you know anyone who is a healthcare worker? No. Well, apart from my doctors obviously.

Have you still been working these past few months or not? I don’t have a job. I wasn’t working prior to this either.

If you weren't working, are you still in school? No, thankfully. I graduated UC 5 years ago, so I’ve been done way before this started. What is/was your major in college?  I majored in psych.

Or if you're not in college yet, what do you want to study?

If your school closed due to Covid-19, do you miss it?

What are you most excited about when life goes (somewhat) back to normal? It’s hard for me to even see that point right now. I know people think I sound like a Negative Nancy, but I think I’m just being real. It’s goings to be a long time before we get to a point where we don’t have to have this virus looming over our heads everyday. It’s been kicking our ass. It’s never going to go away, it will likely be like the flu in that we have a covid season, but I pray we get to the point where we can get under control and managed. A point where there’s a vaccine and effective medication. But like I said, that’s going to take time. Masks may be the new way of life for many of us.

Did Covid-19 impact any major plans you had for this spring/summer?  No beach trips or birthday vacay. :( That’s not important, I know, but I am still sad about it.

Do you collect anything? Key chains and giraffe stuffed animals and knicknacks.

What's the name of your favorite restaurant? (chain or local) Wingstop. 

What is your favorite thing to order when you eat there? I get takeout, but anyway I love their boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings with their ranch. 

Have you still been able to get food from there during Covid-19? Yes. I always got takeout anyway, so that hasn’t been any different for me.

Are you planning on eating there anytime soon when they reopen? I’ll say it a 3rd time haha I just get it to go and eat at home.

Have you discovered any good new music during quarantine?  Yeah, but not because I’m in quarantine. That implies I’ve done so because I’ve been home and had more time to do so or only did so because I didn’t have anything to do. I’ve spent most of my time at home the past few years, not just this year.

What's a new song you've been loving lately? (not necessarily newly released, just something you've recently discovered) Lately I’ve been getting new music from TikToks. A couple recent ones are Dream Girl by Ir Sais and Summer Days by Martin Garrix ft. Macklemore and Patrick Stump.

Have you been able to keep in touch with friends during this time? I don’t have any friends, so that hasn’t been an issue. 

What is your favorite Starbucks drink? White chocolate mocha, caramel macchiato, and their fall and winter seasonal drinks. 

Do you prefer Starbucks or a local coffee shop? Just give me coffeeee.

What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid? do you still ever watch it? I had a lot of favorites. Some I still watch like Boy Meets World, Full House, Family Matters, Disney Channel shows like That’s So Raven, Lizzie McGuire, The Proud Family, Hannah Montana, etc (thanks to Disney+) and old Nick shows like Rugrats, Doug, and Hey Arnold. I recently found out Hulu has Step by Step, so I’ll be watching that again at some point.

Have you been watching a lot of movies during quarantine? >> No more than I would be usually, since my daily life didn’t change as dramatically as most people’s did. But yeah. <<< Yeah, I’ve gotten into a few new shows and binge watched a few old ones during this time, but again I wouldn’t contribute that to quarantine cause I would have been home majority of the time still anyway.

What is your favorite Disney movie? Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, and Toy Story are among the top

Do you have Disney plus? Yep. That’s how I watch those old Disney shows I mentioned before.

Are you a fan of Hamilton? I’ve never seen it.

Are you planning to watch Hamilton on Disney plus? I have thought about checking it out, so we’ll see.

Have you seen Hamilton live? (Broadway or elsewhere) Like I said, I’ve never seen it.

What is your favorite musical? Sweeney Todd.

Have you watched any musicals online recently? No. Or ever.

What was the last live performance you went to before quarantine? I saw Phantom of the Opera 3 years ago.

What was the best concert you've ever been to? All the concerts I went to were awesome. Man, it’s been over 10 years now since my last concert I really miss ‘em.

Do you volunteer anywhere? No. I’ve volunteered at a few places in the past, though.

What is your favorite movie on Netflix? >> ??? There are... so many movies on Netflix. <<<

Did you relocate due to Covid-19? No.

What is one positive thing about the past few months for you? Uhhh.

Do you prefer streaming music or buying it? I stream it.

Do you use Spotify? Yep.

What was the last book you read? I recently started The Girl and the Deadly End by AJ Rivers. It’s the final book in a 7 book series. 

Have you been baking during quarantine? Nope.

What is your favorite thing to bake? It’s been a few years since I’ve done any baking. I used to love it during the holidays.

Do you enjoy doing crafts? I think they can be fun, but they’re not something I do very often at all. I lack the artistic ability, creativity, inspiration, motivation, and energy. 

Have you ever done crafts for money? No. 

Do you shop on Etsy? Yes. I love Etsy.

Have you ever sold anything on Etsy? Nope.

What song are you listening to right now?  I’m not listening to music, I’m listening to an ASMR video.

What genre of music is your favorite? I like a variety of music.

Can you speak any foreign languages? Not fluently, but I know some Spanish.

What is/was your favorite class in school? I always enjoyed English and then later on in college I enjoyed most of my psych classes as well. 

Who was your favorite teacher most recently? I’ve been done with school for 5 years now.

What is the lock screen and home screen on your phone? The lock screen is a photo of the ocean with a Bible verse on it and my home screen is a rose gold background.

Do you play Animal Crossing? Yeppp. 

Do you have any pets? What kind? What is/are your pet(s) name(s)? I have a 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia. <3

what is a song lyric you love? >> Right, I’m definitely not going to think of that off the top of my head right now. <<< Haha, right. Not to mention, I have a ton of favorite lyrics.

Have you done anything recently to support Black Lives Matter? I’ve signed petitions.

Are there any songs you feel transport you to a world that doesn't exist? Jason Mraz songs were kinda like that. Haha. It seemed like he lived in some whimsical fantasyland.

What songs do that for you? “but my breath fogged up glass, and so I drew a new face and I laughed” lol okay Jason Mraz. Haha that’s the only thing coming to mind right now. It’s almost 7AM okay I can’t think.

What is your favorite ethnicity/cuisine of food? Italian.

What are some popular things that you don't like/aren't interested in? Hmm. What’s even popular right now? I’m out of the loop.

When was the last time you got a haircut? Back in February.

What was the last movie (or musical) you watched? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off the other day.

What was the last movie you saw in the theatre? The Invisible Man.

How soon are you planning on going back to work? (If you've been off) I don’t have a job, remember?

What is an item you own that means a lot to you? I’ll always cherish my giraffe stuffed animals and knickknacks.

Do you have a favorite t-shirt? All of my graphic tees.

What other proshot musicals would you love to see streaming online? You sure love musicals. I like a few musicals, sure, but I’m not super into them like you seem to be. There aren’t any right now that I want to see that I can think of. Well, apart from maybe checking out Hamilton. What is something you're looking forward to? Summer being over.

How do you plan on celebrating Covid-19 being over, whenever that is? >> The problem with this idea is that... it’s not that simple? From what I understand, it’s not like one day we’re all gonna say “that’s it! we’ve officially eradicated this virus from the earth and we will never have to worry about it again!” I’m guessing it’s going to be a slow process of reopening with a lot of false starts and rollbacks (as new waves crest and protective measures have to be re-implemented). Even that first day that I go out to a restaurant is probably going to feel really weird and even a little “wrong”. I’m not sure how much celebrating is really going to be happening. <<< All of this. Like I said earlier, it’s not ever going completely go away or be over. We’ll hopefully get it under control at some point and find an effective vaccine and medications and not have the fear of it constantly looming over us, but we got a long way to go.  And when that does happen, I’ll still be cautious. It’s sure going to feel weird when I do feel comfortable to go out again, though. It felt so weird just going outside for a bit recently one night cause it was the first time I had been out of the house at all since my doctor appointment back in May. That was really weird and scary for me. Prior to that I hadn’t gone anywhere since early March. Sooo yeah. I clearly won’t be rushing out anywhere anytime soon.

[eldritchsurveys]

865.

Are you still in quarantine/under stay at home order? (if you're taking this during Covid-19, that is) >> No, the governor’s executive stay-at-home order ended in June. Personally, I still stay at home except for weekly grocery trips and trips to the Wayland house because... well, where else am I going to go? Aside from take walks.

Has stuff been opening back up where you are? >> Eh. It’s been kind of confusing. Many restaurants are still closed / doing takeout, but I’ve heard that they’ve tried opening bars back up, which sounded completely dumb to me, like... of all places? but whatever. Most stores are open, I believe, with mask-wearing encouraged (I say it like that because it really is just a suggestion. There are no actual consequences for walking into a store without a mask, unfortunately, so some people still do it).

What have you missed most that you haven't been able to do due to Covid-19? >> I’ve mostly missed J. Gardella’s Tavern, which was on its way to being shut down anyway because they’d been bought out by some gastropub fuckers. But because of the executive order, I never got to go there for a last round. :( Also, I miss just being able to go downtown etc and walk around and do stuff. In general.

What state do you live in? >> Michigan.

Do you personally know anyone who has had Covid-19? >> No.

Have you had it? (or think you might have?) >> I have not had it, nor do I think I have it. Sometimes I get paranoid because there’s apparently quite a few “non-obvious” type symptoms that have gotten connected to COVID infection (like digestive issues), but, whatever.

Do you know anyone who is a healthcare worker? >> No. Sparrow works in a podiatrist’s office, but that’s not really the kind of healthcare worker I think this question means.

Have you still been working these past few months or not? >> I don’t work, period.

If you weren't working, are you still in school? >> No.

What is/was your major in college? >> ---

Or if you're not in college yet, what do you want to study? >> ---

If your school closed due to Covid-19, do you miss it? >> ---

What are you most excited about when life goes (somewhat) back to normal? >> I will be glad when we can stop wearing masks. You know, in like late 2021 or whenever. Because it sure won’t be any time soon, I can tell that much.

Did Covid-19 impact any major plans you had for this spring/summer? >> I didn’t have any major plans. All my ideas for the summer were pretty minor.

Do you collect anything? >> No.

What's the name of your favorite restaurant? (chain or local) >> Long Road Distillery.

What is your favorite thing to order when you eat there? >> I don’t remember, we were only there for dinner once but I immediately fell in love with the menu (and the drinks, by god).

Have you still been able to get food from there during Covid-19? >> Yeah, they have online ordering and curbside pickup. They make cocktail kits, too, which is cool.

Are you planning on eating there anytime soon when they reopen? >> Oh god, yeah. Definitely not any time soon even if they do reopen sooner than I think is safe, but... yeah.

Have you discovered any good new music during quarantine? >> I discover new music all the time.

What's a new song you've been loving lately? (not necessarily newly released, just something you've recently discovered) >> Heard a cover of Huey Lewis and the News’ Stuck With You by Twelve Foot Ninja recently that I thought was fun. Honestly, that song is just fun no matter what, though.

Have you been able to keep in touch with friends during this time? >> The majority of my social interaction was online anyway, so.

What is your favorite Starbucks drink? >> ---

Do you prefer Starbucks or a local coffee shop? >> I prefer local everything.

What was your favorite TV show when you were a kid? do you still ever watch it? >> ---

Have you been watching a lot of movies during quarantine? >> No more than I would be usually, since my daily life didn’t change as dramatically as most people’s did. But yeah.

What is your favorite Disney movie? >> Lilo & Stitch.

Do you have Disney plus? >> Nope.

Are you a fan of Hamilton? >> Never seen it.

Are you planning to watch Hamilton on Disney plus? >> No, because I don’t have Disney+...

Have you seen Hamilton live? (Broadway or elsewhere) >> No...

What is your favorite musical? >> Phantom of the Opera.

Have you watched any musicals online recently? >> No.

What was the last live performance you went to before quarantine? >> The last live performance I saw was the various acts at the Endless Night Vampire Ball in October.

What was the best concert you've ever been to? >> I’ve been to too many concerts to answer this.

Do you volunteer anywhere? >> No.

What is your favorite movie on Netflix? >> ??? There are... so many movies on Netflix.

Did you relocate due to Covid-19? >> No.

What is one positive thing about the past few months for you? >> I’m not sure.

Do you prefer streaming music or buying it? >> I stream it. I can’t in any way afford to buy the amount of music I listen to.

Do you use Spotify? >> Yeah.

What was the last book you read? >> The last book I finished was Making Friends With Death.

Have you been baking during quarantine? >> No. Sparrow did when she was furloughed.

What is your favorite thing to bake? >> I don’t like to bake.

Do you enjoy doing crafts? >> Eh.

Have you ever done crafts for money? >> No.

Do you shop on Etsy? >> Yes.

Have you ever sold anything on Etsy? >> No.

What song are you listening to right now? >> None. I thought about putting some on and then I forgot.

What genre of music is your favorite? >> ---

Can you speak any foreign languages? >> Not fluently.

What is/was your favorite class in school? >> ---

Who was your favorite teacher most recently? >> ---

What is the lock screen and home screen on your phone? >> Lock screen is a shot of Sam from Death Stranding. Home screen is from a live performance of Phantom.

Do you play Animal Crossing? >> Sometimes. Sparrow plays it more than I do, but even she’s stopped playing it as much because of that whole “get your island to a 5-star rating!” bullshit. It’s just aggravating.

Do you have any pets? What kind? What is/are your pet(s) name(s)? >> Sparrow has a cat and his name is Spooky.

what is a song lyric you love? >> Right, I’m definitely not going to think of that off the top of my head right now.

Have you done anything recently to support Black Lives Matter? >> No.

Are there any songs you feel transport you to a world that doesn't exist? >> They transport me to worlds that do exist. Just not on this plane.

What songs do that for you? >> Wardruna is good for it. But there are plenty of others, I’m just not trying to think of them all right now.

What is your favorite ethnicity/cuisine of food? >> Can’t choose.

What are some popular things that you don't like/aren't interested in? >> TikTok is one. Sparrow loves it and I watch the videos she shows me, and I don’t hate it or anything, but I would never download the app myself. Just not interested.

When was the last time you got a haircut? >> I last cut my hair... uh... a week ago? Roundabouts.

What was the last movie (or musical) you watched? >> The last movie I watched was The House That Jack Built.

What was the last movie you saw in the theatre? >> Birds of Prey.

How soon are you planning on going back to work? (If you've been off) >> ---

What is an item you own that means a lot to you? >> I finally got my Death Is the Road To Awe t-shirt and it means a lot to me because of what it references.

Do you have a favorite t-shirt? >> No.

What other proshot musicals would you love to see streaming online? >> *shrug* Haven’t thought about that.

What is something you're looking forward to? >> This heat wave to be over. I’ve had to skip so many daily walks because it’s just so hot so early lately.

How do you plan on celebrating Covid-19 being over, whenever that is? >> The problem with this idea is that... it’s not that simple? From what I understand, it’s not like one day we’re all gonna say “that’s it! we’ve officially eradicated this virus from the earth and we will never have to worry about it again!” I’m guessing it’s going to be a slow process of reopening with a lot of false starts and rollbacks (as new waves crest and protective measures have to be re-implemented). Even that first day that I go out to a restaurant is probably going to feel really weird and even a little “wrong”. I’m not sure how much celebrating is really going to be happening.

[hassanmcleay340-blog]

Converting WAV To FLAC Results In Lower Volume

Flac to WAV,MP2, WAV, OGG, APE, AAC(used by iTunes),FLAC(lossless compression),MP4,M4A, MPC(MusePack),AC3,TTA,ofr(OptimFROG),SPX(Speex),Ra(Real audio), and WavePack. Giant-scale digital media distributors, corresponding to Apple and Amazon, use DRM (Digital Rights Administration) encryption for copyright safety and to authenticate the media player you authorize to play the encrypted information. Whenever you buy an album or music from iTunes, the DRM-protected file can solely play on an Apple gadget that's associated with your Apple ID. If you wish to play that track or album on an Android phone or pill, that you must use a replica of the file that doesn't have DRM encryption. You'll be able to inform if a file is encrypted or protected by proper-clicking on it and consulting its properties. I also really feel that way, although I'm perfectly aware that they deliver the very same quality. Not getting the WAV file makes me feel that something is missing, which in reality is essentially untrue if in actuality, I will only be lacking one thing that isn't there and something that no person on this world would have the ability to hear: even the bats. CRC checksums are used for identifying corrupted frames when used in a streaming protocol. The file additionally features a complete MD5 hash of the uncooked PCM audio in its STREAMINFO metadata header. FLAC allows for a Rice parameter between zero and 16. You can simply convert FLAC to WAV using AudioConverter Studio This produces an identical audio (that's, no high quality is lost throughout such FLAC to WAV conversion). Although there are free software program choices, like iTunes, that can extract audio from a CD and convert it to smaller and more manageable file size, we discovered by our testing course of which you could spend less than $40 on an excellent audio converter software and future-proof your capacity to assemble, archive and share music efficiently. We additionally acknowledge that you may have a short lived must convert a few recordsdata, so we tested the very best free audio converters so we may advocate a product that will not introduce adware and spyware and adware in your pc. It's obligatory to vary FLAC to WAV since FLAC won't play on iTunes, QuickTime, Home windows Media player and many portable devices. Whether you are using a Windows (Windows 10 included) pc or a Mac (macOS Sierra, El Capitan included), FonePaw Video Converter Ultimate is one of the best flac to wav converter that can convert FLAC to WAV without dropping high quality. Basically none. As a result of they know that the distinction between FLAC and excessive-bitrate MP3 or AAC is utterly irrelevant to ninety nine.ninety eight% of what you hear in a recording. The entire stuff that issues - the studio, the ungodly-expensive recording gear, microphones, amplifiers, the engineer on the soundboard, the strategy of the recording artist, wav to flac linux the headphones the engineer wears when he does the combo - these are immeasurably extra vital to sound high quality than a file format. After which, the remaining 10% or so of what you hear comes right down to what you play it through - the decoding tools or CD participant, the amplifier, the speaker or headphones. Whole Audio converter is a versatile software that's capable of changing even the rarest codecs equivalent to OPUS to MP3. Among the output audio codecs it help contains MP3, WMA, WAV, FLAC, MP4, MPC, OPUS, and over 20 more codecs. Along with that, it could possibly additionally rip audio from CDs and convert YouTube movies to the varied output formats it supports. Total has been online for over 10 years and is being utilized by thousands and thousands of customers.

The quick reply is sure, if it's completed by a good service supplier. There are two major safety considerations to remember earlier than you use file conversion software. The primary is the safety of your pc. Most online file converters require you to add the file to a server. Then the service, generally, sends you an electronic mail with an executable file hooked up. Once you obtain and run an executable file, there's an opportunity it could carry a virus or malware. The identical pitfalls exist for a desktop conversion software program that requires you to obtain the applying. If the software developer would not have contact types or a good About Us page, be cautious. I am at all times leary of downloading software program without any opinions. However, I wanted to transform some music. I converted anac3 file, awma file, awav and aflac file all to them4a, apple lossless format. It handled every file flawlessly and rapidly. These recordsdata grew to become simply added to my itunes Library. Implausible purchase and cannot wait to throw extra files at it.

Audacity , the free open supply digital audio editor and recording pc software program application, obtainable for Home windows, OS X, Linux and different working programs. This file is famous for its highly effective modifying functions for audio file. Additionally, it supports audio changing between wav to flac linux, AIFF, MP3, OGG, M4A, AC3, WMA and so on. It will possibly also let you play the audio file before changing them.

[hepataetis]

✧ facetime (.seokjin)

✧ pairing; kim seokjin x female!reader (friendship)

✧ summary; (y/n) is having a hard time, so of course her best friend comes right to her side.

✧ genre; fluff, slight angst

✧ words ; 894

✧ ji’s a/n; not requested and i’m sorry for that, but sometimes i need my own self comfort. my loves, i know that sometimes you might not be treating yourself the best. you may feel upset about something you did and that you’re not good enough, but that’s not the case. take care of yourself, love yourself, and remember to continue smiling. things will always get better somehow, and that’s a promise i’ll make to you. just give yourself a chance. oh and, preorder answer using official links from bighit and amazon. enjoy !

Maybe she wasn’t the best cook. Or singer. Or dancer. Or much of anything, but she never let it get to her.

Yet here (Y/N)  was, legs crossed on the ground with tears streaming down her face. The room was dark and cold, and she couldn’t see much from the tears bubbling at the corners of her eyes, blurring her vision. But she could only imagine what she looked like. A mess, most likely. But she couldn’t find the energy to get up, she’s become so exhausted that sitting in the corner of her room didn’t seem so bad. “Ahh, man…” She groaned, sniffling before letting her forehead rest against her kneecaps. She really hated feeling this way, but what could she do? She missed her best friend, but didn’t want to bother him.

As if on cue, her phone began to buzz and she groaned with annoyance. “Who is it…?” Slowly rising to her feet, (Y/N) picked her phone from the desk, and its bright light illuminated her face amongst the darkness. She scrunched her face, taken aback by the light’s intensity. Soon, her eyes fluttered open and widened at the sight of Jin’s smiling face on her screen, calling to facetime. 

“It is three in the morning...Does he have a life…?” She muttered, flicking the light switch on and wiping her face. Accepting the call, she allowed a bright smile to stretch across her face. He was in his bedroom, the lights a dim orange color and she could faintly hear his dorm mates cheering in the background about something. His eyes squinted, causing (Y/N) grin. “What, are you going blind?” She teased, but was met with no high pitch laughter. Instead, he rose to his feet and all she could heard was the shuffling of him walking. Soon, the door closed and he fell back onto his bed. Clearing his throat, he looked at her for a few moments in silence.

“Were you crying?”

It was so unexpected that her smile immediately fell, almost too quickly to even hide her shock. Sniffling, she raised her brows in slight confusion. “Why do you think that?” She asked, tilting her head curiously. “(Y/N),” Jin began, frowning. “Are you okay?” Nodding, she managed to crack another smile. “Hey, why are you lying?” He called out, furrowing his brows. “I’m not lying.” Pouting, she looked to the side. “Did something happen? (Y/N)~” He whined, also beginning to pout. “I’m fine.” As soon as she heard her voice crack, (Y/N) knew that there was no hiding it. Jin released a soft sigh. “Do you realize that you’re crying?”

At that exact moment, (Y/N) felt a slow tear trail alongside her cheek slowly, dripping from her chin onto the phone screen. “Okay, I’m not okay. Are you happy?” She groaned, beginning to wipe her face quickly. “You could have just told me that,” Jin’s eyes were fixated on her with such intensity, she almost felt overwhelmed. “I know, but I just thought I’d get over it…” Mumbling this to herself, even more tears began to fall, much to her dismay.

“What happened?”

Releasing a shaky breath of air, (Y/N) looked up and pursed her lips. “I haven’t been feeling the greatest. I keep trying new things but I always suck at it. I couldn’t even cook a decent meal..” She quickly explained before she became even more emotional. “Am I really that much of a mess…?” Trailing off, she decided to stop holding it in- it became more stressful that way. Tears clouded her vision and sobs racked her body weak. 

“(Y/N),” Jin started, feeling his own heart ache at the sight of herd drop her walls. He needed to make sure to comfort her, she must be feeling vulnerable. “I know that sometimes you can get things wrong,” He smiled into the camera. “And I know it’s easy for that one thing to change your entire perspective, but the fact of the matter is you’re wonderful. You don’t need to be the greatest chef to cook a meal, you don’t need to be an idol to be considered a singer, you’re you. That’s the most important fact.” He wished he could wrap her arms around her, and let her cry into his chest. Slowly, (Y/N) looked up, her face red and coated with tears. 

“Really?” She began. “Really. You also have friends around you! Just call whenever you need me, or Namjoon, or Hoseok- Any of us. We’re here.” He smiled reassuringly, causing her face to scrunch with emotion.

“Oh, you’re so sweet Seokjin…” She whined dramatically, clutching her chest. “I’m your best friend!” He exclaimed in slight disbelief. Was he not supposed to be sweet?! Chuckling, (Y/N) wiped her face and sniffled. “I mean it (Y/N). You’re not going to be perfect at everything, but you’ll always improve, and I’ll be here to help you. And plus, your mistakes don’t define who you are. It’s always about doing better!” 

(Y/N) allowed a large smile to stretch across your face. “That sounds so cringeworthy, coming from you.” Jin’s face immediately dropped and he squinted his eyes with annoyance. “I’m trying to help you!” He whined, causing her to giggle. “Then come over and let’s watch a movie together.”

“Okay. I’ll buy snacks.”

[starryun-blog]

Hello lovely,I enjoyed reading what you wrote about what would be like to date saeyoung so if it doesn’t bother you could you write the same to the RFA?!

Its no problemo at all anon!

What it’s like to Date the RFA 

Yoosung;;

LOADS of studying dates

he always has flash cards, kahoots, etc just for the two of you

its rumored MC made him actually work since he saw she was

He also lets MC play on his LOLOLOL account

but if any guy tries to mess with her

you KNOW he’ll whip on those headphones and start yelling

even if it meant a 12 hour ban

worst 12 hours of his life

he loves cleaning his apartment for MC 

MC will just wake up and the smell of lemon 

and bleach

he calls you his muse

the reason he still puts forth effort for school

but yet it always seems like he seeks rika in yo

no matter how many times you alert him you are not rika

he still says you remind him of her

this has caused several arguements

usually one of you storming out of the house

but as you walk under that starry night sky

the moon giving its welcoming shine

you hear a brisk pattern of foot prints get louder and closer

your head turns to see

yoosung.

out of breath and tears streaming down his cheeks

“You’re all I’ve hoped, dreamed, wished, begged for, please forgive me.”

and you’re welcomed with a warm, snotty hug from you one and only.

Zen;;

“Wow dating the hottest man alive!”

Its something you receive a lot

There are frequent cuddle sessions

Its as if the two of you are inseparable

Constant making out

Constant hand holding

Constant PDA

The two of you just have it made

Let’s not forget to mention when you two lock eyes while he’s on stage

His body moving gracefully yet his eyes showing ferocious at the same time lovingly to you

you were the only one he ever would perform for.

The jokes about his beast became more serious when you two became serious

You always seemed to send photos at the ‘worst’ times.

You had a separate album for just the photos he sends you

and the same he did for you.

He was always your #1 fan and always wanted to support your hobbies

He’d skip rehearsal for any anniversary the two of you created

“It’s been exactly 2 months since our 3rd date! Happy 3rd Date, 2 month, Anniversary!”

But sometimes you couldnt help but feel jealous

all the gorgeous woman he’d have to kiss,

all the people who got to see him shirtless,

You almost didn’t feel special at some points

You were already having a terrible day

3 guests denied your invitation, one of zen’s future roles were put on ‘understudy’

but as you stood behind stag as he kissed the lover in his current show

hiding behind the curtain so no one could see you

you could feel your heart burn with anger and jealousy

A warm tear slipped out of your eye as you gave out an exasperated sigh

You couldn’t handle crying in public.

You raced out the stage door with a loud slam

causing everyone stop

but only Zen was the one who moved

He dashed to the dressing room to see it was closed

“Jagiya… I’m coming in”

He’d crack the door open to see you burying your face into your arms

Small breaths could be heard as you cried

“Jagiya…”

You rose your head, wiping the solemn tears

playing it off with a laugh 

“You know darling my heart only belongs to you, those women are no where as near as special as you are.”

He’d carry you bridal style as he planted a kiss on your forehead.

You felt yourself melt in his built arms

“Please understand that your jealousy is normal, but you have nothing to worry…

because you, yes you, are the only one I’ve brought on my roof…

because you, are my star.”

Jumin;;

He adores you

You were always on his mind, no matter the day

He’d find himself fantasizing about you while in meetings, dinners, anywhere where you weren’t by his side

You were his wife. His one and only.

He couldn’t picture his life with no one else.

Jumin always buys you everything you need

He has no shame buying all the monthly visit items, even if he has to buy pounds of chocolate at the same time.

He’s constantly checking your wishlist and pressing the ‘purchase’ button

But he still makes the cheesy gifts

He has a jar full of love notes from him for whenever he’s on a business trip

If it’s longer than 2 weeks, he leaves you notes around the house in every nook and cranny.

Once he learned how to skype

also taking short classes from v & you for photography

you best believe he skypes any free time he has.

You’re just watching TV?

Just position your laptop towards you and tell him the channel and he’ll watch it with you.

You coming with Driver Kim to pick him up were the best days he got, it was so welcoming to see you in person after a long week or 5 away from you.

But sometimes he’d become hostile

It took you awhile for him to allow you to go the other members of the RFA’s houses due to his skepticism of you being taken away from him.

It’s created several phone calls to end without a goodbye from him.

The remaining of the time there he can’t help but think of you and how he messed up

He’d remember his days where he wouldn’t let you leave, period.

Oh how he hated those days.

After one heated argument on you being allowed to go to Seven’s

He knew he couldn’t stay away any longer

He’d immediately return home

No questions asked by his employees as their boss sat in the plane seat

Anticipating his arrival home to his princess.

You knew his footsteps by heart

His feet clicking in a unique rhythm due to his shoes and his built

The sound always made you feel safe.

You’d race to open the door before he could

A smile on his pale face as he lifted you into a hug

Making sure to not even attempt to let go.

“You’re my precious jewel, I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish to show others your level of amazement that yet to this day still leaves me starstruck.”

You two never leave each other’s side that night as you sleep to his heart beat

the heart that only beats for you.

Jaehee;;

She always was (and still is) shy and timid

but if you wanted to try something new

she’d always try and join you.

The two of you always fantasized about opening a coffee shop so she could work on her own hours

She loves playing with your hair and singing you sweet lullabies as you watched zen’s movies

But yet it always seemed she was more focused on you than the shirtless scenes

the scenes that would always cause her to squeal in delight as she squeezed your hand

The two of you definitely have designated spa and massage days so Jaehee can let out your stress.

Also you both loved having the springs to yourself.

She’d always send you the goofiest pictures of her and Elizabeth

but at the same time venting to you about Jumin.

But sometimes it felt like you never saw her.

Like that dream coffee shop was slipping away 

She’d only come home tired and could barely work out a small good night before she’d pass out on the bed.

You’d sometimes never even see her for more than 24 hours

But one day you’d had enough

You stormed to the H&R and demanded Jaehee have a vacation

since it was obvious Jumin ignored your pleas in the groupchat.

Jumin was awed by your persistence 

but Jaehee was embarassed

That whole ride back to her house was silent.

“Why’d you have to make a scene…”

You’d feel your heart drop

she really viewed it as a scene?

She’d shake her head at your non-verbal reply.

She was too harsh.

“Im very sorry MC, I didnt know how to convey my emotions…

I am grateful you took the time out of your day to stand up for me.”

 A smile slipped onto your lips as she continued.

“I can’t wait to spend 14 days of absolute bliss with you.”

Saeyoung;;

That can be found here.

Thank you for being so patient with me! I hope you enjoy this anon!

[starryeyed-char]

On Camera

Or that one time Lance decided to live-stream when he really should’ve been resting. The (established) klance YouTuber AU that no one asked for, but you’re all getting. Domestic klance sharing an apartment is my jam, and throwing a little angst in there is a bonus.

I’m actually really happy with this, and if people like it I might do an actual long AU thing with this setting, so feedback is appreciated! For now though, just a one-shot. This is also proof that the best writing for me happens at 3 AM… oops. I hope you enjoy!!

Psst @taylor-tut this is that thing I not-so-discreetly mentioned in my tags, have a wonderful day.

Lance McClain was a rulebreaker in every way, except for one thing. He believed it was always necessary to have a routine, and never stray from it. If asked, he’d inform you that a steady routine was the foundation for a steady life.

Showering every morning, brushing his teeth every night, thinking of a cheesy one-liner for Keith each day without fail, the list went on. Little things.

One of his many routines was to live-stream, always on Sundays. Because who did anything besides sit at home, definitely not with a hangover, on Sunday?

New videos went up on Wednesdays, but the carefully edited ones on YouTube and his live-streams were very different. Many fans even preferred seeing him live, mainly because he couldn’t stop himself from making bad jokes, and was usually too lazy to straighten his bedhead.

And they would always ask him to go bother Keith in the next room, which Lance more often than not was obliged to do.

So when he woke up late one Sunday with a killer headache and a stuffy nose, Lance wasn’t about to let it get in the way of his routine.

He discovered a note from Keith on the kitchen table that said he’d be out running errands, and Lance lamented that he hadn’t been awake to tell Keith to get soup. After shooting him a quick text, the only response Lance got was “You don’t even like soup.”

Lance chuckled softly, which quickly led to a series of wet coughs. Clearing his throat, he began to set up his camera, wrapped himself up in blankets, and started the stream.

“Hey guys,” he said with a small wave, and winced at how raspy his voice sounded. He sniffled, and edged the off-screen box of tissues closer to him.

The chat was quickly flooded with “HELLO”’s and “LANCE!”’s. By now, all the fans knew when he went live. Lance was, however, surprised to see several inquiries about his health.

There were quite a few “Are you okay”’s, and even some “You seem sick”’s, with one of Lance’s personal favorites being “You look like shit.”

He read off the last comment with a short laugh. “Thanks, KeiththeKutie05.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Nice name.”

After a short pause of him continuing to scan the chat, he spoke again. “I’m fine though, just got a cold or something. Nothing could stop me from live-streaming!”

As the viewers seemed satisfied with this response, Lance wasn’t surprised to see the usual repetition of “Where’s Keith?” in the chat. He sighed.

“Mullet Boy is running errands,” Lance told them, rolling his eyes for effect. “Probably going out to buy a new pair of fingerless gloves.”

Keith and Lance had been sharing an apartment for some time now, and the Internet was very invested in their relationship, or so it seemed. Keith was annoyed by the whole thing at first, but Lance found it entertaining that his fans seemed to like Keith better than him. Lance could, admittedly, relate.

Eventually, the accidental publicity that came with dating a YouTuber inspired Lance to make a collab channel for them, though Keith never got his own. He insisted that he was too awkward to film anything by himself, which Lance secretly found adorable.

Numerous people began telling Lance to prank Keith when he came back, to which Lance grinned. Playing tricks on Keith during live-streams had become somewhat of a tradition in and of itself. “Maybe I will,” Lance tapped his chin thoughtfully. “You guys got any ideas?”

Lance read through some of the responses but saw nothing particularly appealing, then perked up at someone asking when he’d do a video with Hunk again.

“Actually, I got some good news for you guys,” Lance declared, sneezing into his elbow before continuing. “Hunk and I are going to be playing videogames on Pidge’s channel sometime next week, and Hunk has both of us coming over to his and Shay’s for a baking video. I haven’t decided what we should do for my part yet. Maybe a Q & A?”

Once again, Lance’s eyes scanned through the suggestions until his eyes snagged on one he liked. “Cards Against Humanity, huh? With YouTube’s shitty new rules it could get demonetized, but I do love that game, so why not? I’m positive Pidge owns it, and I can tell them to bring it over. Maybe I can even convince Keith to play with us.”

Lance couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiastic response that got.

“I think I’m going to get myself some more coffee,” Lance decided, looking down at the empty mug resting on a coaster. “Last night Keith made me watch this really scary movie, so I naturally had trouble falling asleep. Gotta have coffee to keep myself functioning. Do you guys prefer coffee or tea? Keith and I are both coffee people, but he likes his black. No sugar or anything, disgusting if you ask me.”

Lance almost regretted this comment as a war of opinions on black coffee slowly took over his computer screen.

“Well, anyway, I’m gonna go to the kitchen real quick. I’d bring my laptop but… I’d probably spill coffee on it, and we can’t have that.”

Lance stood, and was about to start towards the next room when his vision abruptly blurred and refocused. He knew immediately something was wrong.

His legs felt like jelly, and the room seemed to spin as he took a single step forward. Had he only been fine when he was sitting? Lance had half the mind to sit right back down, but his brain was growing muddled, and direction simply didn’t make sense.

Lance’s migraine flared abruptly in intensity, and then suddenly the wood floor was rushing up to meet him. Everything went dark.

Keith glanced at his phone as he moved around to the back of the car, where he’d stored the groceries, and had to repress a fond smile at the Twitter notification on the screen. Lance was, apparently, live-streaming. Keith thought he might actually miss his time-slot for once, but he figured by now he should be used to the Cuban boy’s dedication to routine.

Lance’s channel got some negative feedback from more ‘sophisticated’ YouTubers for being… all over the place. A dedicated beauty guru, or PrinceLotor as his channel was called, had dragged Lance on Twitter on more than one occasion.

Lance was anything but consistent when it came to videos. He did whatever he felt like doing that week, and the fans loved it. Sometimes he played songs on his guitar, sometimes he did prank-calls. He would film Q&A’s, or tell stories about all the interesting stuff that happened in his life— Lance’s bad luck was rather famous. He recommended TV shows, did hauls of what he got for holidays, vlogged on occasion when he went to stores, you name it.

But Lance’s favorite thing to do were collabs.

Hunk, an incredibly smart engineer, had a baking channel as a hobby, and Lance was his favorite assistant.

Pidge was a newer gaming channel, but their obsession with theorizing about the game’s lore while playing and busting other fan theories made them grow in popularity quickly. For two player games, Lance was ideal.

Allura was an extremely popular beauty channel, and Lance let her give him makeovers whenever she wanted to. Shiro could use extra actors in his short films.

And Keith… well, the two of them had a channel together that had no pattern whatsoever, much to Lance’s dislike. Absolutely spontaneous and random, usually doing things by popular fan request, like dancing or karaoke. And uploads were by no means regular.

Keith was surprised at how much he had started to enjoy it. Lance had been telling him he should start an art channel, with animations and speedpaints and the like, and Keith wasn’t… that opposed to the idea. It could be a useful source of income, to help with all the debt he would come into after graduating college. But he’d never tell Lance.

Without thinking too much of it, Keith swiped right across his screen, taking him to Lance’s tweet about the live-stream in order to like it. He was about to close his phone again and begin taking groceries up to their apartment when his eyes snagged on something odd.

Lots of the replies to Lance’s tweet mentioned him, particularly the recent ones, even tagging him in it. Keith couldn’t fathom why they would be talking about him if he wasn’t on the stream, unless Lance was complaining about him live again.

Keith bristled. Lance better not be still annoyed at him for the movie the last night. Signs wasn’t scary at all, and not even a real horror movie! Lance simply stated that 'he didn’t mess with aliens.’

But when he looked at all the mentions, Keith felt his irritation give way to confusion, and then panic.

“KEITH GET TO UR APARTMENT”, “YOU BETTER GO CHECK ON LANCE”, “HOLY SHIT HES COLLAPSED KEITH HURRY YA ASS UP”, and the one that really sent Keith reeling “UH GUYS IS IT JUST ME OR DID WE WITNESS LANCE’S DEATH ON CAMERA?”

Keith slammed the trunk, all groceries forgotten as he sprinted into the apartment building and ran for the stairs. They only lived on the third floor, and he was not about to wait for the slow, crowded elevator.

He fumbled to fit his key in the lock and opened the door to the living room, only to spot the live-streaming set up, with no Lance. Keith rushed forward, but drew up short when he realized that Lance was in fact passed out on the floor in front of the couch.

“Oh my god— Lance!” Keith sank down beside him, turning his boyfriend over. “Lance, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

Lance’s eyes opened slowly, and Keith felt relief flood his system, despite the uncharacteristically pale skin. “K-Keith? Wha… I thought you were shopping?”

“I’m back,” Keith answered shortly, wincing as he pressed a hand onto Lance’s forehead. “Jeez, you’re on fire. Why didn’t you tell me you were this sick?!”

“Are you a fire?” Lance mumbled under his breath, and Keith furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What? No, Lance, I was saying you have a fever.”

“Because you’re hot and I want s'more,” Lance continued, as if he hadn’t heard him at all. Keith was suddenly painfully aware that the live-stream was still going, and that his face was even more flushed than Lance’s, and not because of a fever.

Keith glanced at the computer sitting on the coffee table briefly, noting that most of the chat was full of random keyboard smashing. He smiled apologetically. “At least he’s conscious,” he shrugged, hoisting Lance up off the floor and propping one of his arm’s around Keith’s shoulder. “I’m going to take this idiot to the hospital, he’s way too hot.”

“So you finally admitted it,” Lance’s voice was barely audible, and Keith glanced back down to see him grinning up at Keith tiredly.

“I meant your temperature, dumbass. Next time, tell me when you’re not feeling well.”

And with that, he shut off the stream.

[fwancus]

Untitled

(A short fic based on Day 1 of the Writer’s Digest Two Weeks of Daily Prompts e-book. yes, judge me.)

Pairing: USxUK (Not in any order)

Tags: Divorce mention, not very sad though, idk

Alfred slowly sat up from his shared mattress, looking over at the sleeping blonde man beside him. Arthur was normally someone who would bring a smile to his face no matter what, but as of recent times, enjoyment was something that Alfred was having difficulty finding with his husband.

 He stood up firmly from the bed, his toes curling from the cold hardwood floor, and reached over to pull his shirt off. He walked slowly over to the bathroom, sighing along with the creak of the shower faucet as he ran the water. Stepping inside, he allowed himself to stand beneath the stream, his head hanging low. The water was much too hot, but he didn’t mind to lower it. Nothing could sting his skin as much as what he was about to do.

 He cleaned himself, the washcloth leaving raised red scratches over his skin as he tried to scrub the regret from his skin. Tears streamed from Alfred’s eyes, he knew that Arthur would not take this well. After six years of marriage, Arthur would not take this well at all.

 He turned, twisting the faucet handle down and sighing as the pounding water reduced to a stream, growing thinner and thinner until only crystalline droplets fell from the rainwater shower head. When he stepped out of the bathroom, Arthur was still sleeping, but his change of position was indication that he’d be up soon. Instead of nudging him to consciousness, Alfred dressed himself quickly in a loose white t-shirt, smoothing out the v-neck before stepping into black jeans. He kicked on a pair of shoes, grabbing his phone and glasses and stepping out of the bedroom.

 Downstairs, he leaned against the kitchen counter, looking at the cookware around them. They had built the kitchen together, quite literally from the ground up. It was an outer addition to the house, they had raised the walls together. There were arguments, but they were silly fights that the couple laughed about now. It was a beautiful outcome, despite their differing opinions on interior design. He shook the thoughts from his head, knowing from experience that hesitation would only make this worse. He grabs a muffin from the microwave, walking out the front door and down to his car.

 He drove to his work at a local coffee parlor, sighing as he tilts his head back as he waits in the rear staff parking lot. He unlocks his phone, sighing as he sees a text from Arthur. 

“Hey. You left early for work, everything okay?”

 Alfred halted slightly as he thought of a response. His options were to lie, and say that he was fine, only to surprise Arthur with the breakup text during lunch break because he simply can’t bring himself to do it in person; Or, he could send aforementioned breakup text now. He decided on the latter.

 “Arthur. I’m not sure if you’ve been able to tell, but lately it’s been really difficult for me to enjoy time spent with you.” Alfred read over the message, sighing and backspacing until only ‘Arthur’ was left. Too harsh.

 “Arthur, I love you. But I can’t do this anymore.”

 No, too cliche.

 “Arthur, I want to breakup. It’s not you, it’s me.”

 Way too cliche.

 Alfred began to think. Lord knows thinking is not a good thing to do at this hour of the morning. Nevertheless, he was thinking that if it was so hard to think of a way to breakup with Arthur, should he be breaking up with him in the first place? Alfred shook his head, pounding the thought away immediately. He had known he wanted this for several months, nearly a year, and hesitating would only lead to more misery and a much more violent outcome.

“Arthur, we’ve known each other for almost seventeen years. We met in high school, and for how much we fucked with each other, I think we both expected it to end in marriage. But what neither of us could have expected on the day we signed our vows six years ago, is what I am about to say.” There we go, that was sounding better. “I value you as a person, you have a sense of humor, no matter how hard it is to believe that; you have a lot of tact, and you can sense when I’m a bit down; and if I didn’t say you were hot as hell, I would be lying. Because you are hot. You have one of the most gorgeous bodies and personalities that any man could ever ask for, and I thank you for sharing it with me for the time that you did.” He sighs, and tears began to bead at his waterline.

“But I don’t think marriage was the right choice. I think we rushed it. We were engaged at fifteen, way too young, and the second we turned eighteen we began to finalize things. Neither of us ever really stopped to think about the commitment that marriage is. I thank god in these recent days that all of the conversations we had about adopting kids ended in ‘no’, because I’m breaking up with you. I’m not leaving, god no, I want to continue knowing you for the rest of my life. But I can’t be in a romantic situation with you anymore. And I know texting this to you is a sucky, douche thing to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you up-front. We can talk more when I get home.”

Alfred’s thumb faltered over the ‘send’ button, and he reread the message nearly ten times. He tried to imagine how Arthur’s face would twist when he read it, trying to comfort himself, but he quickly found that the image was causing adverse effects. He sighs, pressing his finger down, watching the message pop up into the chat and a small ‘D’ appear next to it for ‘delivered’. And he also watched as that ‘D’ turned into an ‘R’ for ‘read’, and he immediately shoved his phone into his pocket to avoid Arthur’s immediate response. But it was too late.

 “Come home. Now. I need to see you, please.”

Alfred sighed, looking at his dashboard for an excuse. Maybe he would tell Arthur he didn’t have enough gas to go back and forth, but his tank was over 3/4 full. He could say his boss gave him strict hours today, but Arthur knew his boss and he also knew that he was way too relaxed to be strict on his employees. His mind scrambled for reason, anything - anything - to avoid Arthur’s tearful eyes. But he couldn’t.

 “Okay. On my way.”

Alfred was silent as he drove, trying to think of what he would say to calm Arthur. But he didn’t need to. When he got home, Arthur wasn’t bawling on the couch as he had expected. Arthur was sitting, looking at a photo album for sentiments, one leg folded over the other. He looked fine.

“Arthur?”

 The man looked up, smiling, but with a sad undertone. “You know, I can’t say I wasn’t expecting this. You really don’t hide your feelings very well.”

 Alfred paused. “What?”

 Arthur rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Come on, what am I supposed to think when you turn off the TV during breakup scenes in movies, or change the conversation when I joke about it at dinner? It was obvious that you were feeling this way, especially when I asked you about adopting and you almost screamed at me not to. That’s not what you would normally do.” He sighs, looking down, “I’ll admit, I did think you’d be mature enough to talk to me about this face-to-face, but I can understand why you didn’t.”

 Alfred frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. “Art, I’m sorry. I really am, but whenever I thought about saying it in person, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it and it would only further my silence and make things worse. I’m sorry.” He looks up with a bit of bittersweet hope, “Are you saying that…you’re okay with this?”

 “Oh, lord no.” Arthur sighed, “I’m devastated. No matter how much I knew it was coming, I couldn’t brace my heart for the impact those words had on me. I’m scared, I am, of living alone after all we’ve been through. I’m not okay with this at all, but I can’t force you to be with me.”  Alfred frowned. There it was. “Well, you know, this doesn’t mean that we’ll, like, never talk to each other again. I told you that I still want to be friends. I don’t want either of us to be completely alone in life.”  Arthur slowly nods, sighing. “Who gets to stay here?”

 The question was abrupt, and Alfred wasn’t expecting it. “Uh, to be honest, I really like it here. It’s not that far from my work, so I don’t waste a lot of gas. And to be fair, you work from home, so…” Alfred trailed off, knowing that Arthur understood what he was asking.

 “Alright. If I can’t find some place by the end of the week, I’ll rent the couch in my brother’s house for a few nights. He’ll just have to deal with it.” Arthur sighs, “But that nice complex opened just around the corner last month, I’m sure they must have a vacancy or two. I can find a flat there.”

Alfred minded to correct ‘flat’ to ‘apartment’, but knew it would do no good in the situation. “Yeah..If you want any furniture, you can have the love seat and one of the coffee tables. You can also have your desk, obviously, and I’ll buy you a new dining table. And I’ll move it all. It’s the least I can do to apologize…”

 Arthur smiles a bit. “That’s a hard offer to accept, but I think I deserve it. You ended six years of marriage with a text, and then kicked me out of a house that I helped build.”

Alfred laughed, knowing that Arthur wasn’t seriously upset and meant the statement as a joke in the first place, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’m kicking you out. Fuck the end of the week, I want you out by 2 o’clock this afternoon.”

Arthur smiles, shrugging his shoulders and looking to meet Alfred’s eyes. “I’d say I’m going to miss you, but for one I know you won’t leave me alone for the next few months, and two, your humor isn’t something to miss.” Arthur grinned, and Alfred pouted and crossed his arms.

 “Heyyy, that wasn’t a very nice thing to say.” Alfred waved his finger back and forth in a mocking manner, and Arthur smiled.

 “I’ve said a lot of not-very-nice things, and you’ve never seemed to mind. Don’t give me that bullshit.”

  Alfred only smiled, “Well, I’ll miss you, even if it’s not requited.”