#when it wasn't supposed to be.
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Thinking about the post that says "Congratulations! You've fallen for that character's facade" but it's about how Ginger Fitzgerald and Jennifer Check's relationship to monsterhood is misinterpreted as a #FemaleRage and #GoodForHer girlboss power fantasy instead of tragedies about about kids way over their heads surviving a traumatic assault that robbed them of their humanity and now lash out in a desperately grip for some resemblence of power.
#malu.text#ginger snaps#jennifer's body#and in the case of ginger snaps people actively ignore the whole incest thing#Plus; I've also seen an essay comparing negatively Jennifer's Body to Mexican Gothic bc of J.B.'s treatment of race (Which I agree!)#and because Jennifer was essentially punching down by killing guys whose biggest crime was thinking she was kinda hot#and I blame more the internet than the author bc Yeah; that was the point. It was the internet that made it into a feminist power fantasy#when it wasn't supposed to be.
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Day 12: Core
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#jorm scribs#inktober#wei wuxian#wwx#wen ning#wen qing#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#mdzs fanart#I know the butterflies are vibes from a different book but it felt empty without something#This is supposed to be when they excise his golden core to give to Jiang Cheng#wen ning and wen qing just kinda like. You good buddy. Do you need some water#I imagine the process wasn't clean. Post-op care I guess.#didn't get to finish this yesterday so it's a day late#grandmaster of demonic cultivation
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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Movie Night 🍿
#Just added a few more touch ups on this old drawing#The DVD box cover is just Sinister 😆 But that wasn't the movie I was thinking they were watching when I drew this. Can't remember what was#though...#It's possible I wasn't thinking of any movie in particular. 🤷♀️ I shoulda written it down.#connie maheswaran#steven quartz universe#steven universe#connverse#my shiz#su#Halloween#skedoobles#Ohhh I got quiet a movie list to watch 🤞 this month because I hadn't been watching much films this year. 😁#Movie Night
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I honestly don't know wether I should be proud of my work or concerned about the fact that I spent 5 days on a shitpost...
This is what happens when you watch sonic fandubs and search 'how many times did Dedede get possessed' on google within the same day
Audio from this part:
youtube
#kirby#fanart#shitpost#king dedede#bandana waddle dee#zero#animation#at first bandee wasn't supposed to be there but the voice didn't fit dedede at all#i think the voice for zero kinda fits though?#what am i even doing anymore#when i thought 'stop procrastinating and animate something' i didn't mean it that way#Youtube#hoshii's art
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making a little comic with the little sea angel/sea butterfly friends 👀
+ some sketches when I went to the aquarium (again hhsh)
#artists on tumblr#sketchbook stuff#decided to let the other story/drawing cook more#will get back to that another time#went to new york aquarium for the first time! :O#wouldn't mind going back to draw more since I went with fam and it's kinda hard to draw#when there's people waiting/wanting to go do other stuff#also I'm a dumbass and finally know why my dip nibs weren't working#or I knew you were supposed to get the oil on the nibs off but it wasn't working till I saw a youtube vid#that mentioned something acidic/rubbing alcohol/saliva#and some nibs I had were super stubborn so I used lemon juice and it worked mHSHSA#windsor and newton fineliner my beloved
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How she looks at her when she isn't looking:
How she looks at her:
How she looks at her when she isn't looking:
How she looks at her:
Building Trust:
Coming Home:
#how am i not supposed to be obsessed with them when they're out there looking at each other like that#when day one Wednesday is looking like a lovesick puppy and just following Enid around#when Enid ran into the woods in her human body because all that mattered was Wednesday#when Wednesday said she missed Enid through Thing and Enid spoke her language and set it back#when Enid packed Wednesday's clothes for her because that is their level of intimacy now#when Enid didn't force a goodbye hug even though she thought that would be the last time she saw Wednesday#when Wednesday realized being alone wasn't fun anymore because being with Enid was better#when Wednesday always did what Enid asked without ever questioning why#when Enid said she wouldn't apologize for being herself and Wednesday respected that#when Enid Sinclair sprinted to Wednesday Addams and tackled her in a hug.#and Wednesday Addams pulled Enid Sinclair back into her arms and closed her eyes in relief.#when they are each other's home.#wenclair#Wednesday Addams#Enid Sinclair
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so this guy huh
#my art#rain world#five pebbles#catboy pebbles#of course this is when i decide to go experimental#this is digital but it's supposed to look like a riso print if that wasn't clear!
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Opinions on Jason Todd being the multiversal equivalent to Uncle Ben 👀
i see the appeal, but i don't like it personally. they're just two fundamentally different characters now that i can't equivalate them with each other. maybe i could see the tie in with the both of them dying tragically? furthering the plot for another character? but at the same time, that'd make universal equivalents for millions of characters
#it's not BAD#but they don't match up or sync together as much as i would like#ben's entire character is about responsibility and what that comes with#it's about having morals and caring for people even when you're angry and upset#jason's character and death wasn't even about that#plus ben is implied to have been older than richard#and if dick is richard then i don't like the age swap and dynamic swap of that#just cause#like no particular reason i just don't personally like it#if anyone would be ben it'd be bruce#who built his entire hero identity and personal life on responsibility and power and what he's supposed to do with it#while also being older than richard#erinwantstowrite#bruce wayne#ben parker#peter parker#jason todd#thank you for the ask!
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RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1
Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.
#going to start a small 'series' where I document stuff I learn that is otherkin specific. This is for myself as well as anyone who might#be struggling with things I used to/am working on(otherkin specific). hopefully this will reduce any mental pitfalls other otherkin may#fall into as they explore their identity and help out someone.#this 'rule' took a LONG time to fully understand and grasp. for the longest time I would consciously or subconsciously#think I was less Loki if I did or was something 'Loki would never do. until i realized I do exactly and experience exactly what Loki does#and experiences because...Im literally Loki. (talking about incarnations here). I felt pressured to be a certain way because 'Loki would#never (insert). being aroace is on of them. i tried to convince myself I wasn't aroace#and when I finally ran out of reasons i felt i was 'less Loki' because mythologically hes like the opposite. but Loki IS aroace. because#Im Loki. and Im aroace. so loki is SUPPOSED to be aroace because Im loki and im being exactly how loki is being. because im loki. being#myself. therefore being exactly like Loki. again - incarnation.#anyway....if anyone else struggles with this I hope this helps someone. its a really sucky place to be in honestly.#godkin#deitykin#alterhuman#otherkin#divinekin#nonhuman#alterbeing#therian#I think I will be learning a LOT more as I keep exploring and I will note down any 'rules' I learn - more like lessons but rules personally#sound more right for me. rules i will live by (yknow unless i find out im wrong but...im going to trust myself more and right now i feel#like this rule is true. so im using it as such unless i find out im wrong in future.
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Can't stop drawing this gay worm and his cat
#this wasn't even supposed to be them#I just put on the arcadian wilds and blacked out#when I woke this was on my screen so I can only assume I made it#cotl#cotl fanart#cult of the lamb leshy#leshy#leshy x yellow cat#bishop leshy#leshycat#cotl yellow cat#my art
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Fwench Fwy: WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!?
Bearzel: IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!
Fwench Fwy: THEN HOW WAS IT SUPPOSED TO BE?!
Bearzel: REALLY ENTERTAINING!!!
#bezel regrezel part 2#that was my actual thought when i watched the episode#“it wasn't supposed to be like this!' HOW WAS IT MENT TO BE THEN BEZEL?!#WHAT WERE YOU HOPING TO ACCOMPLISH IN THIS?!#AND DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU WERE ABOVE CONSEQUENCE!?#FUCK YOU *un-snazzys your look*#chikn nuggit#fwench fwy#bearzel#bezel#incorrect quotes
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Things that were taken from Annabeth in the Heroes of Olympus:
Percy
her invisibility cap, a crucial part of her fighting style
the dagger that Luke gave her, the weapon that ended the Titan War
Daedalus' laptop, an expansive resource of knowledge and ideas that could have rivaled the library of Alexandria
Three of these were gifts from people she looked up to. Every single item she was given held within it the esteem and the love and the trust and the hope and the respect that made them more than just items. They were physical representations of the fact that she mattered to someone, and they were ripped from her hands.
She's never been the one with insane powers, the one who can command attention and respect just by existing. She had to prove to people that she was capable and strong and wise and all the rest, just to prove to herself that she was worth seeing. And having the attention that was given her in the form of gifts be taken away... it would feel like being cut from a tether and left to drift. And not only that, but those items were also the things that gave her something like powers. She learned to wield them, knew exactly how to plan an attack using the resources that had become like extra limbs to her. And then she's left with nothing. She has to learn how to build up a reservoir of plans and strategies again that don't involve those tools. And of course she can do it, of course she's going to, but damn if it doesn't hurt like hell to see everything slip from her grasp in such a way.
And maybe they were crutches, and she's ready and confident enough to step out on her own without that idea of support.. but as prideful as Annabeth can be, wisdom is about using the tools you were given, not necessarily about making your own. It's about knowing when to trust others and let them help you, even if they're just the ghosts of others that have been left in the items they gave you.
Which brings me back to the first thing that was taken from her: Percy. Percy who, alone among the things she lost, has free will, who not only saw her, but refused to stop looking at her. Percy, who could almost have been a gift himself to little Annabeth who was just dying to go on a quest. Percy, who, when everything else was slipping away, held on tighter, who would never let her be all on her own again.
#this post wasn't supposed to be about percabeth but they're too perfect a team for it not to end this way#annabeth chase#percabeth#hoo#pjo#honestly idek what this post is about. i just get emotional when i think about the hat and the dagger and the laptop#and my 10yo and i are about halfway through moa.. so it's been on my mind
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No Sharing.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#wen ning#Wen Ning voice: “A cuck *hold*?” (tearing up) Yes.....yes I think I'd like that.“#(Seriously...That boy is in need of so many hugs. Being held by chains isn't enough. He needs kind arms.)#Drunkji 2.0 has arrived. And his first move is pout about WN being in the vicinity until he leaves.#I do not think we give enough credit to the fact that if LWJ was not in the picture (or had different chemistry with WWX)#Wen Ning would be the Holder Of Most Relationship Potential#Though I supposed even in the TV drama there wasn't any hard defined romance but wangxian was still strong and tangible#The mutual obsession is too strong for any third party to have a chance.#LWJ is only actively jealous when uninhibited (drunk). Sober he would not stop wwx dating someone else (wwx would never)#he would hate it but hate himself even more for feeling as he does.#wwx does not strike me as the type to get jealous (to a significant enough extent (JYL is the exception not the norm).#LWJ would fake date someone to 'make wwx jealous' and wwx would just go 'oh neat :) anyways.' (he is never allowed things for himself).
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If you take Ling's blood sugar crashes seriously from a medical perspective and rule out medications I'm not sure existed yet and major organ failure, my best guess at a diagnosis would be an insulinoma, a usually benign pancreatic tumor that overproduces insulin and messed up your levels. Thus I propose the reason he stopped passing out partway through the story is that Greed went "hey what the fuck is this" and ripped it out.
#Greed when they're lying low at the Rockbells:#hey Ed you said these people were doctors? do they have anatomy books#Ed: yeah upstairs. why? I didn't know you could read#Greed: very funny. show me#they troop upstairs. a long silence. the chimeras listen with growing apprehension#Greed: I TOLD you that wasn't supposed to be there! *horrible squelching noise*#Ed: gross! can I touch it?#Greed: no it's mine#would it immediately grow back? idk maybe#fma
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I don't know when I'll ever write this, but I've had this AU in the back of my mind ever since Bendy and the Dark Revival came out, and it's best to get it out of my head before it festers and rots.
More or less, it's BatDR and the DCA smashed into one. The premise is that you are an animator at Fazbear Studios and Sun and Moon are humans who go by Cyrus and Mani respectively, employed as voice actors. (First AU with human Sun and Moon whoo! don't get attached though) Vanessa is a janitor who is a bit odd, mostly keeping to herself though sometimes you feel like she's starting at your back when you're alone.
Cyrus and Mani perform as extras in the Fazbear cartoon, adding supporting voices for side characters and miscellaneous lines. Cyrus often supplies humorous, wacky, and surreal voices to his performances. Mani tends to get villainous or spooky characters with his deeper, raspier voice. They both enjoy what they do and love that they can work together as brothers.
You can't help but notice Cyrus and Mani. You admire their skill, their passion, and their smiles, and you sometimes even work up the courage to wave at Cyrus or Mani whenever one of the brothers happens to pass by your work desk.
They inspire you—not just with their work, but with their small acts of care. You find coffee on your desk when you return from a meeting with the other animators with a little smiling sun doodled on the cup. Sometimes, Cyrus asks you to join him on a walk since it's your lunch break and you could really use some sunshine and a chance to stretch your legs. When it gets far too late and you're burning the midnight oil, Mani is somehow always there, doing a funny voice to surprise you with a little reminder that it's past your bedtime. He leaves you little treats in blue wrappers, hidden in places on your desk, among your ink and papers.
It's not a surprise that you start drawing a character for them in your rare off hours when you still have the energy to hold a pencil. The Fazbear cartoon could add a new, permanent character. A robotic jester, lanky and tall, but with two forms for the day and night, funny and sweet and mischievous. Cyrus and Mani could both voice him!
That's silly, however. Fazbear Studios does not want your chaotic and half-brained scribbles nor do you dare show the brothers what they inspired—they might hate it. You keep your little jester character tucked away, along with a small doodle of a minor, nobody, gray character who may or may not be a tag along to the main act that is the jester. Your sketches and concept art are hidden away, far from where the light of day or the shine of night will ever see.
It goes missing one day. You're upset and asking everyone who went through your desk. No one confesses. Cyrus tells you that it'll be okay, he'll help you find it. Mani suggests that you keep locks on your drawers from now on.
It's never found, not that you wanted either of them to stumble upon it. Yet, they stay late with you after everyone has gone home, looking for your precious and secretive sketchbook through the many departments of the studio.
Somewhere along the way, Cyrus disappears, promising to return with your sketchbook. You lose Mani in the audio department before, oh, there's Vanessa. She tells you to come to the basement with her—she found your notebook. You're relieved but a little put off by Vanessa and reluctantly follow her down into the dark.
You don't find your sketchbook, but you do find Cyrus slumped against the wall, blood trickling down his temple, and a strange collection of shrines to one of the studio's cartoon characters.
Before you can rush to his side, pain explodes in your skull, cracking white across your vision. You fall to the ground, dazed, as Vanessa gives a cryptic promise to return with the last sacrifice. You manage to crawl across the floor in your pitiful state to reach Cyrus and attempt to revive him, but by then, Mani is walking in. His shock overtakes him but he dodges a swipe of Vanessa's wrench and starts struggling against her. You try desperately to drag Cyrus somewhere safe as he murmurs for you to get out of here, but in the middle of Vanessa's and Mani's fight, she flips a switch and ink begins filling the room.
The black flood sweeps Cyrus away from you. Pages spill out from the inside of Vanessa's vest, dozens of sketches of your jester character. You cry out. Mani looks to you. Vanessa at last shoves Mani into the surge of onyx liquid beside Cyrus, and you watch both of them go under together. You scream their names. She turns to you, grinning.
The last thing you remember is Vanessa shoving your head into the ink.
Then it's the only thing you remember. You're vaguely aware that your jet-black hands are strange and shiny, and that you don't know where you are in this sepia-colored studio, but you know something's not right. You're missing someone, and someone else. You're scared.
You wander around for a bit until you're attacked by monsters emerging from the ink, shrieking and wailing in gluey dark forms until a wonderful and terrifying automaton arrives. He destroys such a creature about to tear you apart. He stands so tall, detailed with sharp teeth and even sharper sun rays around his large, flat face, but you think you recognize those yellow eyes—a living cartoon.
He helps you calm down and asks for your name in a loud and funny voice that rings like a bell in your mind but you can't name the tune. You don't remember your name. He doesn't remember his either. He leads you away from the harsher spaces of the studio, somewhere 'safer'. You don't know if there is anything as safe, but you feel better with him.
You're startled when after a time, in the middle of talking to this sunshine character, he melts and morphs and bubbles until a crescent moon face emerges and a new grin. You panic before a darker, raspier voice, like a cartoon villain, tells you it's alright. He's here, too. He's not sure what's going on but he, and the other 'him', and you are gonna make it out of here, somehow.
You don't have hope anywhere else but in this unique robot jester, and he seems to want you to stay close to him. So it's you two, the last sane partnership in the crazed and dripping studios, fighting off ink creatures and surviving other bizarre characters. You learn how to wield a gent pipe and the jester is strong on his own, often able to tear things apart or toss monsters off of you before they can do worse. He has claws and teeth and he uses them well.
Vanny is a lady rabbit and a constant threat. She's smart and cunning, unlike the other mostly senseless attackers. She keeps tracking the two of you down and spouting off the religious rhetoric of Inktrap, promising that your sacrifices will be well worth the pain. You had to be introduced to the cycle. The ink has corrupted you perfectly. You are part of this place. You are never leaving and will give in to Inktrap.
You and he avoid Inktrap at all costs. You've only caught glimpses of the shadowy, pitch-black beast, but that's all you need to see as you both hide and hold your breaths until the danger just barely passes by.
You start to call the daytime jester Sun, and he seems to respond to it. The nighttime joker is Moon, and he neither hates nor loves it, but he answers when you call. He has a name for you, too, or rather names. Peach, bird, thrill, calico, and sweetheart. He gets creative and goofy. You think he's being mean sometimes but he tells you he's not, he means it, and you don't know how to take that before you two have to focus on escaping this part of the studio and getting into safer areas. You protect his back and he protects yours, and together, you make this living, unending nightmare bearable. Sharing bacon soup, falling asleep in Moon's lap, and patching up any drips in Sun's inky form becomes something like a life.
It just never stops, repeating over and over. The jester deserves better than this, whatever happened to him. You know you both do.
You become determined to learn how the cycle works and how to prevent it from going on. There's a funny feeling you have that, somehow, you're going to have to go through Vanny and the Inkdemon. One day, you will get the jester and yourself free.
You need to see his and your happy ending.
#sidenote: cyrus is pronounced cy-rus and mani is pronounced mah-ni not manny#also their last name is Sterle but i don't know if that would ever come up#sorry that's all i'm gonna put here as a sort of summary#there's a dramatic ending with the jester saving your life but it comes at a price of merging with inktrap#and that's when eclipse comes out to play#but despite looking as terrifying as he is now and fighting for control#he still loves you! (whoops he wasn't supposed to say that last part out loud)#The Jester and the Tagalong#bendy and the dark revival FNAF AU#this goes out to wynnibee for reminding me this was buried in my drafts!
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