#what's my fave show right now and why is it knock knock boys

[pharawee]

Don't make such a fuss. Hurry up!

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

why i love the edwin-crystal sibling like relationship from memory and why it makes me love crystal even more

there simply isn't enough online about 1. how awesome crystal is as a character and 2. how awesome her and edwin's relationship is. so imma dump all my thoughts here from pure memory.

ep1: so yeah, they start rough. but when jenny points out to crystal that she's so focused on her own problems that she's ignoring everyone else's, just like how she said the boys did, she resolves to change that. she realized she was being unfair because it was pointed out and she decided to try and be better. when edwin breaks down, she's listening. she's listening and understanding. she tells this boy, who has not been the nicest to her but she's beginning to understand, that she gets it. that she sees him, that his unnoticed death matters to her. she sees the sharp, jagged, raw and emotional parts of a boy that she'd only seen as cold and logical thus far. and when his unusually timid voice asks if they can focus on becky's case, she agrees. in the butcher shop, she offers to once again explain the internet to edwin. implying that she'd already done so. and she says it without any condescendence. when she's knocked to the ground, edwin helps her up and they sort of cling to each other as charles is reckless.

ep2: not as much here from what i remember but there's still some stuff. edwin does actually commend her actions in luring the sprites out, followed by telling her not to do it again. from an emotionally repressed boy from a time when fixing each other's clothes was the most intimate thing you could do in public, thats quite a big step.

ep3: one of my personal faves. crystal is quick to point out that edwin is jealous of her and charles. she does actually assure him that nothing would happen and its just a small show of her care for his feelings. now, in the house, do they bicker and argue? yes they do. but i would argue that most of that is fueled by their anxiety and fear for charles. when crystal points out that charles has issues, he ultimately listens. its shown immediately the next ep when he tries to be better and offer himself as a safe space, something he wouldn't have thought to do without crystal's guidance. when they actually work together, its incredible. crystal literally fights her own personal demon to get back to the boys. edwin is trusting her enough to openly admit that he has no idea how a vhs works and trusts her to put in the work to save his person. when she's in danger, he pulls her out because he cares and she's given him reason to. she doesn't question when she comes out from her own head and edwin immediately asks for help, something he almost never does. when she talks about how she's a bad person, edwin immediately tells her that she isn't. he wastes no time in assuring her that she couldn't be anything but the person she is now. she also points out the moment charles' mask goes right back up and offers a lot of insight to edwin. because edwin hasn't really had a friend before charles and charles was already doing this when they met. he had no reason to think that it wasn't a normal thing. but crystal points it out and he notices, he listens and he learns.

ep4: this is another one i dont particularly remember much of these two from. the ep starts with edwin asking if charles wanted to talk about his father, something he never would have done without crystal's guidance. when edwin tells crystal and charles to go off together, she asks him if he's ok, which in the moment, is said in a somewhat joking tone. but once he's gone, she asks charles about it because she's concerned about him and she knows him well enough to know something's wrong. when she's angry that the washer woman didn't give her an answer, he apologizes genuinely because he does want the best for her.

ep5: this ep starts off with a lot of emotional maturity from crystal. she admits that she isn't in the right space to start a relationship and i'll be honest, i hadn't seen that from a show before. made me love her even more. one of my favorite moments of the show is them haunting twitchy ritchy. when he makes deprecating and homophobic 'jokes', crystal is quick to shut him down. and i would argue that she knew edwin was gay, i'd argue for hours. she notices his distress and immediately shuts the dude down, and hard. in return, when ritchy tries to be intimidating, edwin is the first to step in. he extinguishes the flame with a satisfied lil smirk and crystal didn't even have to look over to know that he would step in. and we don't really see it, but i'd bet watching edwin do childish little haunting things probably made her smile. it's a scene i think about all the time. when edwin shoos them away from the summoning and charles questions his choice, crystal sticks up for the decision. its small and unintentional, but there is an aspect where she admits that he's right. something she wouldn't do if she didn't like him and respect him. and when edwin realizes that marin killed the jocks, he's rushing out behind charles. hell it looks like he's pushing him forward to get them downstairs. crystal emphasizes at the end that she sympathizes with the boys, that it was a shitty thing to have in common that they were all victims. yet she offers her sympathy nonetheless. and when edwin says he's had enough emotion for the day, she isn't offended that he wasn't receptive or anything like that. she just smiles, knowing that he really can't handle a lot of emotions and she knows that he doesn't mean anything negative by it. she shows that she understands him and that she doesn't judge who he is.

ep6: when crystal loses her powers, she's scared to tell edwin. she says that she's afraid that he would consider her useless and toss her aside. but that stems from the fact that she really values him as a friend and is scared of being abandoned by the only people she has. and when edwin finds out, he is shocked sure but he's also concerned. he insists that he wouldn't have left her behind and she tells him that he would. its an emotional moment for her and i wouldn't write off that she's just really defensive in the moment. when she sees the boys in trouble, about to be dead-dead, that's when she regains her abilities because she cares about both of the boys and gods be damned if she's gonna let a witch tear them from her. and as the walk back, she leans into charles because she knows edwin doesn't like touch. but he's still right behind her, still nearby and offering silent support. and he goes the step of naming one of their plans after her, plain and simple. she shows her appreciation in the same slightly sarcastic tone they use with each other all the time.

ep7: so many thoughts. the second she finds out that edwin is in hell, she's already resolved to go get him. she has known the boy for a few weeks at most and she cares so much and is so selfless that she doesn't hesitate to volunteer to go to actual fucking hell. when she's told she can't? she tracks down her abusive demon ex who has literally tormented and plagued her mind nonstop. she walks right into his domain and demands he open her a door to hell. literally demands the person who has ruined her life to let her into hell to rescue her friend. when he refuses? she's ready to throw hands and doesn't hesitate to do so. and when the boys come back? yes, she does hug charles and not edwin, but she knows that isn't his thing. but when it cuts back to the teens after the night nurse speaks, you see her arm falling from edwin's. even though he hates hugs and she knows it, she still reached out and held his arm to show how happy she was that he was there, that he was safe. because even though he doesn't hug, she still needed to show him she was happy he was back. she talks about how she fought david and edwin expresses surprise and concern. her retort? 'it was the funniest thing. my friend got dragged to hell and i just had to try and help him.' she doesn't even think about hiding how much she cares and edwin's little smile just confirms how much it means to him.

ep8: when she's recovering her memories, edwin is there. he's watching over her with charles and that just hits something in me. he must have spent so long in the dollhouse exhausted, hoping someone would watch over him so he could be safe and rest. and when crystal is vulnerable, he's doing it. he watches over her as she calls her parents and the second she says that they didn't care, he is insisting that there must be some kind of explanation. every time she wakes up after eating the memory orbs, he rushing to her right beside charles. and i'd bet my bottom dollar he was stressed the whole time she was out. when crystal leaves, edwin does offer her a handshake. she jokes about how he's changed, how he's gotten friendlier, and he jokes back, even throwing in a reference to hell. it's a sweet little interaction and it shows their friendship and familiarity. esther takes the boys and she doesn't hesitate to work a way to get them back. she goes right to the cat king and argues that edwin is her friend and tck should help them because he has personal interest. she charges right into esther's house and already has a plan in place. she spends a minute on charles because she knows edwin's in danger and his screams are fucking unbearable. she offers herself as a distraction so niko can free edwin. when she's pinned against the wall, she scream-pleads for edwin to hold on and it is full of desperation, because she needs her friend to be okay. that scream haunts my mind because she is scared and she knows he is too, and she needs him to hold on and be okay. and when niko 'dies', they are huddled over her body and mourning together. in the end, edwin gives her a professional offer for her to have a permanent place with the agency. and this girl, so naturally full of love and affection, hugs him with a massive smile on her face. because she's been looking for people to belong with and she's found em and they want her around. and she's gonna do anything she can to hold onto them, come hell, demons or high water.

basically, crystal is beyond amazing and her sibling relationship with edwin is my favorite. if you don't like her, argue with the goddamn wall.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

Hiiiii <3 can you do a do how the mob boys would treat you after getting a abortion or if your not comfortable with that period pains / cramps? Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

don't worry, I am comfortable with this. Will defo be writing a how the mob! boys react to you getting your period as well, though.

Mob! Leo

Knew it was for the best

you guys always used protection but 4 months into your relationship you were 2 months pregnant.

you didn't know each other well enough to move in yet alone have a kid together.

He drove you to the clinic, was willing to go in with you but the doctors wouldn't allow it

he would have though.

after it's done he thanks you, says how he knows that would have been difficult to do but it was the right choice

he pampers you for the few days you have to rest afterwards

all your fave foods, drinks, shows, movies, flowers...the works.

he really tries to take care of you

he lets you cry if you need to, he lets you get angry at him if you need to

he kind of just rolls with whatever strong emotion comes up

he won't let you blame him, though

"Takes two to tango" he always says when you get a bit accusatory.

he'll just hold you and talk, about anything. The weather, your plans over the next few weeks, ask the odd question so you're not just sobbing in his arms

he tries, he really tries.

Mob! Raph

oop he should have seen this coming

he isn't exactly great and remembering to use condoms....

it's a long conversation when you decide to terminate the pregnancy.

he kind of wants to keep it, be a dad and all, but you both decide that it's not the right time.

He waits in the car for you, not really wanting to go inside since he wasn't 100% on board with it anyways

when you get in the car, you immediately burst into tears.

"we did the right thing" he says but even he doesn't sound sure

it's more like a question

he isn't the most attentive at first

kind of avoids you a little

but when he see's how much you're struggling he steps up.

takes you out on a nice date night to remind you why you're with him in the first place.

you have a great time, Raph is fun, always has been

you almost forget why he's brought you out

as you're heading home he says "you know, there's always time to, y'know... Have one. Now just isn't the right time"

He wants a future with you and that means a lot to you

Mob! Mikey

He kind of freaks when you tell him you need an abortion

he thought you were at the point where you'd start a family

once you explain the extenuating circumstance as to why that wouldn't be a great idea right now, he's half on board.

not going to make an effort to be a a part of this, though

he isn't bad to you after the procedure...Just the same old Mikey

that is until he wakes you to you curled in a ball on the floor, your hormones all over the place making you sob

then he's better

he tries to talk you through it but he isn't the best at that

"I'll knock you up again now if you want, just stop crying. please?"

that is...not the right thing to say

Mob! Donnie

practically tells you that you have to get one

"you're not ruining my reputation and trapping me with some bastard child!"

Does not drive you there, doesn't want to be seen outside that sort of clinic, just in case

it's only when he sees how badly it's effecting you he's even a tiny bit nicer

((Only because he see's this as a good opportunity to get what he wants, he's evil...)))

you wake up to flowers on your bedside table the next day and the smell of pancakes wafting up the stair, he's made you breakfast

"you know, now that we've been through this, we're stronger" he begins

he wants devotion, your undying loyalty and your soul if you'll give it tbh

"this will only make us closer"

he's all you've got really, your family didn't approve of this relationship and they defo wouldn't approve of you having an abortion...

[jaetyun]

Finding out they’re not your Boys Planet picks; a thread! (k group ver!)

s.hanbin, gunwook, seunghwan, junhyeon x gn!reader

genre: fluff (it’s suggestive with seunghwan but nothing actually happens)

a/n: i’m soz it’s so short! i was v busy and had little time to write more. i will be making plenty more parts, rest assured! tysm to my fave anon for the req 🫶

after the first elimination, the air was tense. you could glance around the room and see everyones heads hanging low, losing motivation to work. reluctantly, mnet decided to give them a day out. visit family, walk your dog, run away to another country while you still have the chance, the choice was theirs! some trainees decided to see their significant others, only to find out their first picks!! spoilers: it wasnt them 😔

trainees after the cut!!

Sung Hanbin

the moment the boy left the building, he began giggling. he quickly dialed your number, giving it a ring.

“hello? who is this?”

“psst! it’s your #1 boys planet pick..” he whispered with a goofy smile, his hand up to the speaker of the device as if he was talking on a walkie-talkie

“kim jiwoong? how’d you get my number?!” your innocent joke made hanbins smile drop, losing all the childish love-drunk emotions as before. “nevermind. i was planning to surprise you with dinner but you should just go with jiwoong.” though you couldnt see him, you already knew the face he was making. to a *tea*. with his tongue stuck out, following by a whiny pout that you couldn’t help but gush over.

“baby, you know i was playing. come over!”

hanbin narrowed his eyes, his pout getting replaced by a thin line. “is he actually your first though?”

“well… that’s-“

you were immediately left with the call hanging up, making you groan. you held you phone away from you, counting to 5 with your other hand before you felt a familiar vibration.

“why didn’t you call me back to beg for a second chance?”

“i didnt have to.”

“just like you didnt have to vote for me?”

you sighed out, sending an unimpressed face through the screen (that hanbin definitely picked up on!) and clicked your tongue.

“sung hanbin. you’re over 70 countries first pick!”

“i don’t want 70 countries, i want you~“

you sighed at his comment, laughing lightheartedly before cracking another joke (he seems not to appreciate your humor these days!)

“what so if you ranked second but i was voting for you, you’d be okay?”

“…”

neither of you were particularly good at lying. often times it was great for communication! but a lot of times, it means petty back-and-forth’s like this.

“baby, i am voting for you. but the app makes you vote 6 people”

“blocking you as we speak..” he whined, very unsatisfied with your response. you began softly mumbling ‘nooooo!’

“okay okay! you can take his place as my first pick.”

“…and you have to stop voting him!”

“babbyyyyy :((”

hanbin scoffed, pulling the phone from his ear yet again. “beep beep beep!”

“okayyyy!! i’ll stop voting for kim jiwoong.”

he smiled, now suddenly going back to his gushy nature. “if you say so~ you excited to see me?”

you were happy to have your puppy-like boyfriend back, humming a response.

“so excited! were are going?”

Kum Junhyeon

when you heard a knock at the door, you curiously looked through the peephole. who would show up at this hour? you swore you didn’t have any packages. your eyes light up, immediately opening up the door and embracing an exhausted hyeon.

“how did you get here?” was the first question you managed, running your fingers through his hair. he muttered something about an off day and you chose not to question it.

“youre just in time, i was just getting around to voting” you hummed, gesturing to the couch where the mnet app was open. you began your routine you’ve been doing since the voting first opened, scrolling through the trainees clearly on a mission to find someone specific. junhyeon peered from behind your shoulder, smiling at how cute you looked as you proudly voted for your boyfriend.

“wait! i was right there” he pointed to his name, chuckling at the way you began scrolling back over to his name. his smile faded quickly though, watching as you clicked gyuvins name and scrolled past. he then chuckled at you again, shaking his head before resting it on your shoulder. “kum. not kim you goof”

he felt your shoulder tense, making him smile at the way you sheepishly went back to his name, voting him instead of replacing gyuvin. junhyeon tilted his head unsuspectingly. “did you mean to vote gyuvin too?”

“i uh.. actually forgot to vote for you.. but its just-”

“do you not vote for me?” his eyebrows furrowed, raising his head off your shoulder suspiciously.

“well no! its just, i was just trying to get gyu-“

“so gyuvin is your first pick??”

you stammered, unsure of how to respond. junhyeon pouted, shaking your shoulders in an attempt to get a word out of you.

“well he’s cute!”

“am i not?”

“you’re.. getting there” you pinched his cheek, making him tilt his head in confusion.

“getting there?”

you began mocking his “junhyeon is fiveeeee” making jun look at you with 😐

“so im cringey and gyuvin is really cute?”

“….”

junhyeon grabbed your phone from you, resetting the vote and picking himself. he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, pointing the phone at you. “why cant i submit?” you attempted to grab the phone only to have him yank it away from you.

“you have to vote 6! not just you.”

you watched as he began randomly clicking trainees, submitting it for you before you could argue. you could only sigh, gently taking his hand in yours.

“nice to see again you too i guess.”

Park Gunwook

after planning a meetup, you decided on a cute park to waltz around in. gunwook had showed up first, kicking rocks while scanning the area every so often for you. the moment gunwook locked his eyes on you, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder with a grin.

“miss me?”

“of course i did! ive been watching just for you, i’m proud of you so far” you kissed his cheek, making gunwook do that smug grin he always does. that was all the push he needed to keep working hard. the image of you watching him excitedly and reacted at everything he said made gunwook giddy, already ready for his next mission to impress you more.

as the two of you continued walking, gunwook suddenly looked to you with a sympathetic pout. “you know, i kinda feel bad for you.”

you wordlessly tilted your head, wanting to hear an elaboration.

“it must be so boring watching each episode when there‘s nobody that even compares to me” he sighed out dramatically, looking off into the distance as if he was saying it to some hidden camera. you laughed, hitting his shoulder lightly. gunwook doesn’t relent, staying in character effortlessly as he continued what he was doing.

“am i right?”

“not really. there’s matthew.”

gunwook stopped what he was doing, sending you flying backwards with the sudden halt. he then sat in silence, trying to process this new information.

“oh.. matthew…. yeah him…” he pretended to ponder this for a second, his eyes looking up as he slowly nodded. what he was thinking of exactly, you weren’t sure. he then shrugged in an attempt at nonchalance.

“that kid-“

“he’s older than you..”

“that adult, is like, really weak. i beat him in arm wrestling easily” he continued, flexing his arm to further show off.

“that’s not why i like him babe.”

“it’s not??” his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. not in a condescending manner, gunwook was genuinely confused as to how that has nothing to do with matthews appeal. you laugh, shaking your head softly.

“then why??”

you began to mimic the iconic ‘i love you, i want you, seok matthew’ hand gesture only for gunwook to start groaning in annoyance. he waved his hand, an ‘oh please’ expression. he then did his signature salute, shaking his hand dramatically as a reference to when his hand had a tremor from nervousness. you hit his shoulder, laughing lightheartedly.

“baby. i mean he’s cute.”

“well.. i *am* younger than him..” he says, twisting your words on you. gunwook began raising his hands, but before he could even raise them above his chest you gently held them with your own, stopping whatever aegyo he was about to do.

“you are plenty cute gunwook.” his eyes furrowed, clearly unsatisfied.

“if i’m stronger, and cuter than him. then why aren’t i your favorite??”

“who said anything about favorites?” you asked him with a pout.

“well is he?”

“…”

“see!” he whined, dramatically walking off with small stomps.

you followed up after him, giving him a free teasing pokes to his arm. “is my baby jealous??”

“am not!”

“yuh-huh!” you teased further, making him scoff at even the idea of being jealous.

“let me show you how… how.. unbothered i an by this!”

he then grabbed your hand (in a *totally* non jealous way!) and dragged you with him as you continued to waltz around the park.

“it’s okay gunwook~ he may be my favorite trainee but there’s no replacing you!”

“there better not be.” he mumbled, giving you a slight side eye. he then paused, turning around to face you and before pointing at your face.

“…. but i’m not jealous!”

Lee Seunghwan

you had decided to wait for him outside of the building, the butterflies you had forgotten about creeping up onto you when you finally saw him again. his eyes lit up, quickly embracing you as if the world was gonna crash any second. you kissed both his cheeks, smiling at his usual clingy behavior.

“you’ve been having fun?” seunghwan pouts, shaking his head quickly.

“oh baby it’s terrible, only you could fix the stress i have right now” he slyly wrapped his arm around your waist. you sighed, but did nothing to stop his roaming hands. seunghwan buried himself in your neck, trailing soft love bites all over your neck and collar bone.

“really? in public hwan?”

he let out a bitter laugh. “after those trainees, i need some stress relief.”

you clicked your tongue, gently combing through his hair.

“you mean daeul and junhyeon?”

“you’ve been watching??” he looks up at you, a shocked expression. you could only nod at him, continuing your soothing motion with your hands. “i actually really like them! especially daeul.”

seunghwan narrowed his eyes at you, looking at you hesitantly. he was quite offended honestly! how could you like daeul after the side eyes he sent the boys way..

“what? more than me?” you sat there and thought about it, which only offended your boyfriend further. “i was joking babe.”

“shh! i’m thinking!” he rolled his eyes, taking your hand off his scalp. he mouthed dramatically ‘WERE. OVEERRRR’ making you click your tongue again.

“babe! it’s not that big of a deal”

“it is though, cause what do you mean you can’t pick between your *boyfriend*… and daeul” you stammered, trying to defend yourself

“well he’s just cute!”

“can he sing as well as me?”

“well no but-“

“can he dance as well as me?”

“i mean no..”

“can he rap as well as me?”

“… no…”

“and is he better looking than i am?” seunghwan finished, an expecting look. you pouted, shaking your head slowly. he joined you, shaking his head much faster than you.

“so why is it a hard choice?”

you stuttered again, avoiding eye contact. “you’re just jealous!”

he gently grabbed onto your waist again, bringing you closer. “yes. i am. im not sharing you with anyone else. not even hanbin” he said, *finally* walking you away from the entrance of the building. you continued to bicker with him, punching him on the arm at one point. he stuck his tongue out, not even able to blow a raspberry before you touched the tip of your tongues together jokingly. his grip your waist tightened, with his eyebrows furrowing.

“i’ll *show* you why i’m better than lee daeul.”

“in public??”

[skyeblue8]

ᗯι𝜏ԋ Ɛʋҽɾყ Ɲҽցα𝜏ιʋҽട, ㆜ԋҽɾҽ 𝓐ɾҽ Sσ𝓶ҽ Ƥσടι𝜏ιʋҽട... ♚

⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰⋆⃟⋆ ⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰ ⋆⃟⋆⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰ ⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰⋆⃟⋆

So, because I'm in a bit of a shitty mood due to a whole lot of work I have to do before my break, and I don't feel like piling onto the already large list of what's wrong with the Helluva Boss series - and also, because everyone liked the Beelzebub list, I decided to do a quick list of my top five favorite songs from Helluva Boss. Despite the questionable writing, characters, world-building, creator, etc, the songs are actually truly solid when they want to be, and for that, I'm willing to give praise.

𝟏.❞𝕂𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝔹𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙❞ 𝐛𝐲, 𝐆𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳 & 𝐆𝐥𝐚𝐦

❥ Putting aside my general love for these girls, however brief their appearances were in the episode, this song was just incredible to me! The dancing was smooth, the beat was heavily reminiscent to Kpop, which I just love anyway, the visuals were stunning, in addition to their overall designs, and I'm honestly just sucker for fish-based characters since they have a whole siren aesthetic going on. Speaking of, many people find these twins to be reminiscent to The Dazzlings, from EQ Girls, and that's just the cherry on top for me! The full version truly makes this even better and, overall, I think the song was brilliant in establishing the whole rebranding of Mammon and how these two pose great threats to Fizz, much like those badass singer villains in Saturday morning shows. You know, the one's everyone ends up simping for at some point in their childhood. Anyway, because of the new episode, this song managed to shoot its way to the top of my faves, knocking down my original fave in the process!

𝟐. ❞𝕄𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣❜𝕤 𝔹𝕒𝕝𝕝❞𝐁𝐲, 𝐁𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐳𝐞𝐛𝐮𝐛

❥ This song walked, so "Cotton Candy" could trip and fall on the scalding hot pavement. Apologies if I sound dramatic, and you happen to like Cotton Candy, but the amount of disappointment I feel towards the fact that we didn't get this song is indescribable. Now of course, I understand WHY we couldn't (again, waste of time when someone could've just gotten Rochelle in the first place 😑) but I digress. Aside from the fact that a specific line in the song gives clear clarification of who the hell the flying fox is, it feels like the cool, degenerative (said affectionately) party girl song that I would've actually liked to hear.

❥ To me, it's reminiscent of "Cannibal" and "Die Young", and I feel like both themes generally tie into what we think of a Modern Beelzebub to be like. The beat, the shift in pace of the lyrics that brings out the fast party vibe, the fact that it felt like a real pop song that didn't take fifteen minutes to get through just to see the rest of the episode – all these are what made this song my former #1 favorite, now my #2. And the "non-binary specimen" line was a cool, quick inclusion to me.

𝟑. ❞𝕁𝕦𝕘𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕀𝕫 ℂ𝕠𝕠𝕝❞ 𝐛𝐲, 𝐌𝐚𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧

❥ I know this is technically too small to be an actual full song, but I still loved it regardless. It was really cool in its short runtime for the following reasons: the Tom Hardy's vocals (idk what it is, but something about Australian accents that just sounds satisfying, especially when singing), the praising of the Twins, and the satisfaction of seeing Fizz squirm a bit. Apologies to any of you who like Fizz. I don't hate him per se, but rather, I'm just bitter that we're loosing out on other character development because of him and Ozzy. And, I prefered Robo Fizz who was an unrelenting asshole and not another UWU boy that, imo, there are one too many of in Hell.

❥ Anyway, it was cool seeing more visuals of the Greed Ring stage. And seeing the spider visuals that are associated with Mammon. I understand if some people thought it was kinda tacky, but I personally think it could work if assessed the right way. (Hint: I'll be explaining more about this in later Greed Ring Headcanons and/or Mammon Headcanons.)

𝟒. ❞𝕍𝕒𝕔𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝔹𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕥𝕠𝕨𝕟❞ 𝐛𝐲, 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐝𝐚𝐲

❥ Admittedly, I was a bit iffy on whether or not I should include this considering my feelings on Verosika. I don't hate her by any means considering, you know, it's Blitzø, but she has nothing going on for her and her one note personality just feels unfair to her considering what she had to deal with. That being said, I realized that I'm judging based on musical appeal and not entirely on character, so I said "fuck it" and put this as #4.

❥ While notably slower and softer than the other songs, I enjoyed it after revisiting it. The pink aesthetic and visuals were just gorgeous to me.

❥ It's slow, playful, and it reminds me a lot of Doja Cat and her songs, and I really loved that. Above all else, it was soothing and nice, and I feel like it was wasted on the Spring Break episode though as, while the episode introduced it a bit more worldbuilding, it felt like a whole load of nothing considering it all happened in one place and that same worldbuilding went out the window almost immediately. Still love the song though. Honestly, if there was a musical battle between Verosika and the Twins, I'd struggle to pick a winner.

𝟓. ❞ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝔸𝕤𝕞𝕠𝕕𝕖𝕦𝕤❞ 𝐛𝐲, 𝐀𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐮𝐬 & 𝐅𝐢𝐳𝐳

❥ While my opinion of Asmodeus has wavered lately, his debut song was incredible! I loved the deep vocals and jazzy tunes used in the song, and I didn't completely mind the bits with Fizz in it given all that's happened. Above all else, I adored how they called out Stolas publically in the episode. Shame it couldn't stay that way. Seriously though, as sexy as the man's voice is his design just doesn't fit that. But, yeah, that's my opinion.

⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰⋆⃟⋆ ⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰ ⋆⃟⋆⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰ ⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰⋆⃟⋆

Anyway, yeah, that was my list. Let me know what y'all think and whether or not you agree with my choices. If any, do you have a favorite song in Helluva Boss? Or a least favorite? Let me know. ✌🏾

[artist-issues]

I just found out you like the Twilight Zone! Please talk about your favorite episodes, if you have the time!

Oh yay, sure! I started watching the Twilight Zone about five years ago and it’s become one of my top 3 favorite tv shows of all time. It’s creepy, and I have a low tolerance for psychological horror, so I take my time watching it. But my favorite three episodes are a lot of other people’s faves, too.

I think the very best one is It’s A Good Life. This kid is born with godlike powers—he can do anything—but he chooses to make everything the way he wants it. He transports his whole town out of the world or destroys the rest of the world—the townspeople aren’t sure which. Their lives revolve around keeping this kid happy, because if he’s ever upset, he does terrible things to them. He doesn’t like it when people look at him like he’s the monster he is, so he strikes them blind, or turns them into toys, or, if he even hears you thinking unhappy thoughts he sends you “to the cornfield.” Which is basically death. The whole town is constantly telling the boy that everything he does is good, and everything they feel is good, and they’re always telling each other to think everything is good. And eventually one guy stands up to the boy (the boy’s name is Anthony) and gets fed up, and Anthony kills that guy, then makes it snow, which kills all the remaining crops in the town, and the people just sort of go… “I guess we won’t have food now. That’s a good thing you did, Anthony.” And it ends.

Because the thing is, all of the stuff that sets Anthony off—all of his little pet peeves that everybody tiptoes around—they’re actual good things. He doesn’t like other kids because they don’t always do what he wants. He doesn’t like dogs because they are afraid of him. He doesn’t like music, or television, unless it’s what he creates. He thinks suffering is funny and he likes to make up vicious creatures, then kill them, and have everybody approve of it.

Anthony is forcing everyone to behave like what is really good is actually bad, and what is really evil is actually good. He flips right and wrong on it’s head, and everyone goes along with it out of fear.

I also love Eye of the Beholder, even though it’s on the nose. (HA. Get it) The Sixteen Millimeter Shrine is incredible too. That idea that nostalgia for whatever you thought was the best time of your life can actually imprison you…and you don’t even know it’s a prison. And it keeps you from embracing and growing in and loving the rest of your life.

And Where Is Everybody, for those of you who’ve never seen The Twilight Zone, is the very first episode, and it just perfectly captures the weird “what is going on” vibe that draws you into the show.

I think there are two things that make me love The Twilight Zone.

The first is that every episode “makes you think.” Usually they don’t have conclusions where everything is explained, or resolved; Anthony is not defeated, Barbara Jean stays in the movie screen with no explanation of how she got in there or what will happen to her now…but the fact that the storytellers leave it like that literally forces you to think more about what you just saw.

Your brain naturally goes, “yikes, the kid just gets to keep making life a nightmare? Don’t like that. If I were in there I would’ve just knocked him on the back of the head. Why didn’t anybody do that?” And by having to think about it more, you aren’t critiquing or arguing with the actual story. You’re thinking it over, trying to figure it out, because you naturally accept that there is something there to be worked out. The “message” of every episode gets under your mental guard, works it’s way into your worldview.

You watch “It’s a Good Life” and realize that not everything is “good.” Sometimes there’s plain evil that can’t be reasoned with or explained away in the world, and you just have to stop protecting yourself with pretending otherwise and do something about it. The townspeople should’ve all stopped pretending and worked together, or been brave enough to realize stopping the monster or dying trying was better than living in fear.

And that brings me to the second thing I love about The Twilight Zone: every episode has a message. It has something it wants you to think about. It’s not just tickling your suspense-responses, or giving you a brain worm about nothing but creepiness. It’s not trying to get you “in your head” to “figure it out.”

I know I just said it makes you think, but it specifically makes you think about something real, a concept that affects real life. The Twilight Zone answers enough of your questions with each story to make you think about the lesson, and doesn’t give you enough information to be like, “I’m going to figure out the Easter eggs, and the backstory behind how everybody in Eye of the Beholder got pig noses!”

The Twilight Zone makes it obvious that there are important questions to ask when you watch a story, (like, “Why didn’t everybody work together to kill Anthony?”) and there are useless, unimportant questions to ask when you watch a story. (Like “where did Anthony’s godlike superpowers come from?”) And it specifically engineers each story so that you’re more emotionally involved with the RIGHT questions, instead of the arbitrary questions.

Nowadays everybody’s like, “let’s figure out exactly where that Easter Egg came from! Let’s see if we can figure out what version of Arthur’s narrative is the REAAAL one in The Joker! I can’t actually verbally explain what Christopher Nolan was doing but I totally got Tenet.” 🙄

I’m tired of stories that are all shock-&-awe and no meat. The Twilight Zone might ask you simple questions, but they’re really good, important ones to have answers to. And the artfully suspenseful, show, don’t-tell episodes of The Twilight Zone make those questions stick in your head and your heart.

[tdinyomomma]

TDWT- Cody X Reader (Chapter Three) Walk Like An Egyptian Pt. 2

If you haven’t read: two

“Let’s take a few moments to review some of the features of our aircraft.” Chris announces, the next clip showing back to when a piece fell off the plane outside and a raccoon falling out with it. “Safety is our number-one priority. So please remain seated with your seat belts fastened at all times.” 

Showing off Owen knocked out, straps holding onto him to sit up right. 

“The plane has one exit, located here.” Another old clip of Chris throwing Ezekial out of the exit door to the plane, after that is the team mates running for their lives. “

As we explore exotic destinations, take time to familiarize yourself with the local architecture. The world is our playground.” It’s a bunch of clips of the teens getting hurt in the last episode.

 “But remember- refusal to sing will lead to immediate disqualification. When dividing into teams, be sure to give your crew a catchy handle. Upon arrival at our final destination, one lucky competitor will receive a parting gift to remember: 1 Million dollars!” It shows the kids passports and a big ole hunk of cash before going back to Chris with his hands behind his back. 

“So stow that carry-on baggage and lock those tray tables in the upright position. We’re taking off for one crazy ride, right here, right now, on Total… Drama… World Toouurr!”

Of course we’re back behind the starting line in the middle of a hot ass desert. Have I mentioned that I need a new agent? If not… I need a new one. 

“Ooh, look! Team colors!” Izzy awes in admiration at something so simple. 

“Why the heck is our mat yellow?” Harold speaks up, disgusted. “We’re no cowards!” He raises a fist into the air. 

“Relax, sugar. The mat’s gold ‘cause team victory is in first place!” Leshawna points out. “Not for long.” I whisper, glancing down at their stick. 

“I can’t believe Duncan got disqualified just ‘cause he won’t sing.” Gwen exclaims, obviously hurt that, that punk loser decided to take his losses. 

“Maybe he can’t sing.” Heather quips. “Oh, he can do anything he sets his mind to. And now he’s stuck on the plane, waiting for a ride home. Poor thing. He must be miserable.” Courtney cuts off the mean girl and I raise a brow. 

“It’s his fault if he is so miserable, even seems like a player since you two are so upset about him leaving.” Was what I wanted to say outloud but this is about gaining their trust. I couldn’t say that. 

“It’s a shame he quit, but hey, you won’t focus on a boy being here or not if you’re winning.” I grin, nudging the two girls earning small smiles in return along with them blushing. 

“You’re right, Amazing super star, [Name] [Last Name].” Courtney sighs in a dream-like state and I snicker, glancing over to see Heather’s upset expression. 

“Duncan-and-Courtney fans will be devastated, but I also agree with [Name] Courtney don’t need no man” Sierra snorts, 

“But another but, I think you and Owen have a shot at becoming fave “Total Drama” couple on my fan site.” She informs Izzy. 

“Owen’s magic. When he breathes, his nose whistles the national anthem!” The crazy redhead shouts proudly. 

“Super cute! But he’s no [Name]... Or Cody!” She says as Cody and I walk past which gives me the shivers. I plug my ears to not hear another fact she weirdly knows about us two. 

“Does she weird you out too?” I question the boy next to me and his eyes widen. He stares at me for a few seconds so I repeat myself. 

“Did you not hear me or something?” I crossed my arms. “No, no! I did, I just didn’t expect you to actually talk to me.” His face turns red and I ruffle his hair. 

“Cute,” I then grabbed my hand sanitizer realizing what I just did. 

“And yes, she does extremely weird me out.” He tells me as he fixes his hair. Before I can continue on the conversation a cymbal crashes loudly. 

“Mmm. Good.” Chris stuffs his mouth with grapes. 

“Don’t know about you guys, but I am loving egypt.” He chuckles. 

“Mmm! And I’m gonna love it even more watching you enjoy your second challenge– The amazing camel race.” He declares. 

“Where are the other camels?” Harold quizzes. 

“There are no other camels. It’s a camel race. Not a camel’s race.” He fixes their thinking about the whole race ordeal. “Yes!” Heather cheers. 

“What?!” Alejandro adds in, distraught and angry. 

“We won last time, but they get a camel, they get a goat and we get a stick?!” Leshawna furrows her brows. 

“Each reward has its advantages. Trust me. You’ll be racing to the world’s most infamous waterway, the Nile.” He assures them. 

“Teams must bring their rewards all the way to the finish. You have 60 seconds to strategize.” He points, 

“Move it, people. It’s a race.” Heather hurries us as she is already on top of the camel. 

“Uh, Hello? It’s Team Amazon, not Dictatorship Amazon.” Courtney argues with the girl. 

“Great. Well, I’ll stop being bossy when you start doing things right.” Heather says, I get on the stupid camel and I’m squished in between Gwen and Izzy. 

“Whee! Yeah! I get the throat!” She then starts grunting and it sounds more like a donkey noise if anything. “I just introduced myself in camel-ese.” She mutters. 

“I bet you did.” Gwen encourages her and I shake my head trying not to scoff. “Oh, hey. Fancy meeting you here.” Cody lifts himself up in front of Gwen. 

“Go out for a slushie later?” He asks. 

“Cody. Hey. Listen, I still really appreciate you setting me up with Trent that time.” Gwen thanks the boy. “Nice, right?” He smiles a toothy smile. 

“And now that he’s gone, huh? Yeah. I’m available.” Cody tells her, I make a face knowing the girl is not interested.

 “Hear that? It’s the sound of girls all over the world running and rushing, just desperate to lock their doors.” Heather starts off nice and then completely stomps on his heart. I sighed out as the other girls laughed. 

“That was mean, he didn’t deserve that.” I snap back to her. “I’d be interested in Cody, he’s a sweet boy.” I tell Heather, it shut the other girls up real quick too. Of course I wasn’t telling the complete truth, and normally I wouldn’t have cared about anyone really. But laughing at him like that for having feelings just didn’t sit right with me. 

“A’ight! Nile’s thataway! Kind of big, blue and watery. Can’t miss it. Or I guess you can, but then you’ll die. Probably get killed by the local scarab beetles. It’s mating season and they get all killy when they’re in heat.” Chris tells us, I watch as Leshawna goes up to him. 

“I am glad there aren’t any out here. Those things are nasty!” She looks up at him. 

“I’ll tell them you said so.” Chris motions to Chef Hatchet who knocks over a big vase. It lands with a thump in the sand and shows the little beetles crawling out.

 Leshawna screams, running away causing a domino effect to all of us around. Then that stupid ding goes off. 

“Ooh! Time for a song! Think of it as a mini challenge. Music can soothe the savage mate-seeking scarabs. So make up a good song and maybe they won’t kill you. Or don’t and get disqualified, like Duncan.” He speaks up, but I’m more focused on the bugs crowding around us as the others groan except for Izzy of course. The music starts. “

No need to get crazy.” Alejandro starts off. The other guys snapped to the beat. 

"It’s lovin’ time at last.” He belts. 

“You don’t want to eat us up!” The guys sing together. 

“We’re mostly full of gas~ No!! No!” Owen shouts as the beetles start to climb up him. 

“It’s mating time for scarabs!” Courtney, Heather, Gwen and [Name] sing. 

"So what you waiting on?” Leshawna pushes two of the scarabs to each other. 

“Just ignore us humans.” Izzy holds one. 

“And make out till the break of dawn!” The teens all come together. 

“It’s lovin’ time,” Alejandro says. 

“lovin’ time, lovin’ time.” 

“Scarab mating season!” 

“It’s lovin’ time.” It shows Cody staring between Gwen and now [Name] as they sang their part.

 “Lovin’ time, lovin’ time!” 

“Scarabs, get busy now.” Alejandro seems disappointed in what he has to sing out loud. 

“It’s lovin’ time.” Harold does his own piece. 

“Lovin’ time, lovin’ time.” 

“Scarab-mating season!”

“It’s lovin’ time!” Cody sings, now starting to tip-toe away as the Scarabs are busy loving each other and finding their mate. 

“Lovin’ time. Lovin’ time.” 

“Scarab-mating season!” 

“Season, eh!” Ezekial messes up the whole tone and the Scarabs get agitated. “Whoa! No! Wait!” The bugs start crawling up him as the others run away screaming.

An air horn goes off as we get on the camel. As moments pass we’re still in the lead.

 “Come on!” Courtney smooches at the animal we’re riding. “Come on, camel! Faster!” Courtney attempts to motivate him. 

“That is not how you talk to a camel.” Heather then clears her throat. “Freakin’ move it!” She shouts. 

“Much better.” Gwen laughs. “Shh, guys! Keep it down, okay? I’m trying to tell him a fairy tale!” Izzy tells them then starts making the grunting noises again. 

“So, how’s it going back there, Cody?” Gwen changes the subject moving along from whatever crazy girl is doing. He gets whacked by the tail of the camel. 

“Ow! Great!” He chuckles trying to play it off. Thanks for- ow! Asking. As long as it doesn’t– oh! Go number three.” Cody informs her. 

“We’re gonna go win the race now. See ya!” Heather blows raspberries at the other team behind us. “Eat sand, losers!” Courtney jumps into the teasing. 

“Such witty remarks from such fiercely intelligent women. I’m both humbled and intrigued.” Alejandro responds and I roll my eyes. “Nice try, but I’m with Duncan.” Courtney turns away from the hispanic charmer. “And what a pity it is that you should give yourself to a quitter who doesn’t deserve you.” He tells her, which he’s not half wrong. “That’s not- Duncan is totally-” She scoffs. “You’re just- Will someone just hurry this Camel up?!” She orders. 

“Can you see the Nile, Izzy?” Heather asks. “No, not yet!” Izzy makes the Camel speak. 

“It’s got to be around here.” Courtney says. I just glance around not seeing anything. But then a smell emits the air and we all gag, realizing the camel just did it on Cody. 

“Ew!” Courtney yells. 

“Oh, gross!” Gwen gags. Then the camel comes to a stop. 

“Uh, guys the other team is gone. We’re all alone out here.” Gwen announces. “Does anyone know where we are?” Heather asks. 

“Planet earth, silly.” Izzy laughs.

 “We’re lost!” They all say as if it wasn’t fucking obvious. 

“No dip, guys. They probably went another direction, let's try going to the right!” I simply tell them, folding my arms now, getting super sweaty and irritated. 

“Are you sure?” Heather questions me. “All in favor of my idea, say I.” I smile up at her in a cocky way as they all quickly say I in return. 

They all still argue but I have Izzy talk to the camel to know where to go. The camel changes courses like I said to a while ago.

“Wait, what is that?” Gwen points ahead of us.

 “The finish line!” They shout. 

“Weird. I asked Ruby where we could get lemonade. But this is okay, too I guess.” Izzy explains. “Want me to tell her to hurry up?” She looks back at us. We all just blankly stare at her. “Okay.” She then does the grunting. Once we get to the water the other team is already making their boat. 

“Basket-weave a boat?! Ugh!” Heather shouts in disgust. I get down and pet the camel as a thank you for carrying us but right after I go for my hand sanitizer because you don’t know what kind of diseases animals carry. 

“Sorry you guys are so far behind. Plus our baskets are nearly done already thanks to my speed weaving.” Sierra apologizes. 

"Plus you’ve got Owen on your team. Lucky.” Izzy says. 

“But you have Cody and [Name]!” She then runs over to us and pulls us into her chest. “I wish we were on the same team, too!” Sierra hums. “Uh, I have to do something.” He pulls away and I nod in agreement following after him. 

“Aw, you guys are so cute together.” I overhear Izzy tell Sierra. 

“Maybe we could swap teams!” 

“Trade a basket case for a basket weaver? Fine. Sierra, you’re with us. Izzy, go play with the boys.” Heather calls the shots. 

“What?!” Alejandro shouts but immediately Sierra starts basket weaving for us. 

“Wow, she’s amazing.” Courtney compliments her and I would’ve too if it wasn’t for how creepy the girl is towards me. 

“Maybe you should think about listening to me a bit more this time around, hmm?” Heather suggests, which Gwen and Courtney burst into a fit of laughter. 

“It’ll take a lot more than this to earn our trust.” Gwen tells her. “A lot, a lot more.” 

“Where’s Chris? He won’t allow this.” Alejandro says. 

“Excuse me. Did somebody- Ugh” Chris comes up on a boat and Sierra pulls him into a tight hug. “Today is officially the best day of my life, so I really hope you allow us to swap.” Sierra stares up at the host. “But of course, you’ll make the best decision, ‘cause you’re the best decider ever!” She cheers for her. “And that’s why I’m going to allow it.” Chris smiles, I throw my head back in major disappointment. 

“Smiley face!” The purple haired girl squeals.

 “What was that about Chris not allowing it?” I tease the boy now standing in front of me as his head is down. Heather also sticks her tongue out at him but instead of getting upset he blows a kiss at her. She gasps, crossing her arms and looking away from him. 

“Ta-da!” Sierra shows off her work and we come running her way. 

“Team Amazon Rocks!” We uplift the girl happily. Chris says something as the other team finally makes their way to the water.

 “Cody! Let’s go!” Courtney yells as Cody struggles to get the camel onto the boat with us. 

“Come on, pal. Just get in the boat.” Then the boy says something quieter and goes behind the camel and tries to push but ends up with his face in the animal's ass. 

“Cody!” Sierra gasps.

 “Izzy, tell ruby to get in the boat!” Courtney demands. Izzy goes to do it but that Noah kid stops her. 

“Whoa! Whoa! Izzy’s on our team now, not yours. Not a word.” Noah glares at her. “Oh! Fun!”

 “Fine. We’ll do it ourselves. C’mon.” Courtney motions for us to follow her. We then try to get the camel to get moving as we pull on the rope around her neck. But she doesn’t even budge. I notice the other teams already start to get a move on. 

“This is totally unfair! If it wasn’t for that stupid swap, we’d be halfway across the Nile by now.” Heather groans.

 “We’re gonna win fair and square.” Alejandro says. 

“But to make sure you believe, talk to the camel.” He turns to Izzy. “Yeah? Okay.” Izzy starts the grunting noise and finally the animal starts trotting. We finally get moving and right as we do that stupid ding goes off once again. 

“Time for a musical reprise!” Chris shouts at us. Everyone groans.

 “Hey if you finish the song the first time, you wouldn’t be here now, Zeke. Start singing!” He calls out the homeschooled kid. “And put your backs into it.”

“Mm-mmm, crocodile amigos, what you swimming for?” Alejandro starts us off once again. 

“We don’t mean to bug you.” Courtney sings next, Gwen right after. 

“Please let us reach the shore!” Even the Camel brays out a song. 

“These crocs are gettin’ killy” Lindsay worriedly sings. 

“Just bop them on no-ose! I learned that in muskrat boys it vanquishes all foes.” Harold tells everyone. I watch as Ezekial goes to bop a croc but he fails and the croc eats the stick he had in his hand. 

“It’s rowin’ time!” Alejandro sings. 

“Vanquishing, vanquishing!” Now all of them sing. 

“Crocodile season!” “

It’s rowin’ time,” DJ adds. 

“Crocodiles! Crocodiles!” 

“Tell me I’m not sinking.” DJ asks. 

“Yeah, it’s rowin’ time!” Cody sings this time, on the camel’s hunchback bump. 

“Singing it, singing it! Crocodile season!” 

“It’s rowing time!” 

“Rowing time, rowing time!” The Amazon get ahead and makes it past the finish line. “

Till the Amazons Wi-i-i-i-in!” The Amazon team belt it out towards the end.

“Congrats, you’re alive. And as long as you all brought rewards across the finish line, there will be no elimination tonight.” Everyone cheers but I remember the Victory team lost their reward.

 “I lost the stick.” Ezekiel announces to his team. He then chuckles nervously causing Chris to actually start laughing. 

“Wow. Sucks to be you.”

We get to go to the wonderful first class area. We all sit down and Courtney comes up to me. “Hey!” She grins at me and I do a small wave along with a smile. 

“What’s up?” I ask. “Could I sit with you?” She seems hopeful. 

“Oh, of course!” I had to think about it at first but realizing to earn her trust I have to be nice. I go back to cleaning my area up a little bit. I feel her staring and I start to smirk. 

“You wanna fangirl a little bit?” I messed with her and she went to deny it but then blushed. 

“I’m sorry I just really love your work in the movies you play in.” She admits. 

“Don’t be sorry I love fans or just people who enjoy my work, we can talk all about it.”

“Call me whatever you want, at the end of the day my career comes with that stuff. I'm used to fangirls and fan meetings and I love everyone who appreciates me.” [Name] smiles sweetly at the camera.

Taglist: if you want to be added lmk!

@marsyay78

@ghostdoodlen

@laecrowa

@pulling-out-my-eyes

@tulipatheticee

@cipher-004

[astramachina]

WIP questionnaire tag

the indomitable @fortunatetragedy tagged me on this baby while i was away and boy howdy do i love talking about my projects.

diving headfirst into The Singularity Project (codename: T.E.S. CO) for this one, babes.

What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

The Vibes. Last October I was being harassed by a brain worm (lol) that did not want to become concrete in any way, and the only way I could get it down was by writing "the vibes" of what I wanted. Those vibes included "hazy 60s lounge", "synth", "Panos Cosmatos' style for weird ass stuff", and "burnt orange".

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

What Have You Become by MNQN, but more 80s-fied. And because I feel like it, it's end credits song would be I Remember by Tristam but like... slightly more melancholic.

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

So far, it'll have to be Verne. Neither hero or villain, he's the protagonist's father, and while he isn't physically in the story (as far as I can tell) he inescapably haunts the narrative. By "saving the world" the only way he thought possible, he doomed his son to a life no one deserves. He's also a silly guy who thinks himself a god (derogatory) and is wanted for several crimes against humanity. Second fave is Mike, our deuteragonist. He's just a guy trying to make a living but his work crush has been acting super weird by knocking back 20+ cans of soda per shift and claiming he can "hear the Mall speaking to him".

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

Tumblrinas (affectionate, gender neutral) would probably also be reblogging some horror webseries things (SCP, The Walten Files, The Backrooms, etc), as well as more classic horror such as Re-Animator, The Thing, and The Fly.

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

.......Yes. When the story started to form I struggled with the idea of capturing it in a single medium. I am first and foremost a writer, obvs, but a lot of the story relied heavily on visual storytelling. I eventually decided to turn this into a "multi-media project", which means there's a huge chunk of writing, but there are also segments that can only be experienced through audio and visuals (and maybe some fun ARG-esque puzzles). Three POVs? Each POV has its own timeline and its own medium? Did I embark on a multi-month journey to learn Blender and video editing? Am I still trying to get the story down? The answer is yes. (Help me.)

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Yes. Mike has an anthill because it's the only thing he can keep alive.

How do your characters travel/get around?

In the 1911 portion? Via ship. Ernest Shackleton's ship on its voyage to the Antarctic, to be exact. In the 1981 portion? Via bus. Mike's too broke to afford a car. In the 2021 portion? Via car. [Cy] is the man with the plan... and also the car to drive his crew around.

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Mike's journals, which covers the events of 1981 through 1983. This part is the bulk of the entire project, and the part that is mostly told through writing.

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

So many morally gray characters. But also morally corrupt characters. And morally confused characters.

I hope you like your monsters goopy, and your effects practical.

Don't worry about the cult swearing they can save the soul of a poor young "confused" man.

The true friends were the transgender allegories we made along the way.

What is the point of Man vs. Machine when the Man knows not what he is.

The worm can talk and it has anxiety. I think it's gay?

What are your hopes for your WIP?

TO COMPLETE IT. LMAO. Mostly I just want to be able to stand up and say "Hey, look what I made! I made it because I wanted to and all my hard work paid off!" But I guess it would also be neat to have some sort of cult following? Would love to see fanart of what people think some of the characters look like! I wanna see fic! Give me fan songs I can blast while I drive! I wanna see certain YouTubers react/try to "solve" it so that I can sit there shaking my head. You know. The usual.

this took way longer than i expected so i'ma quick tag @ap0stle, @kairahara, @wrencatte, and YOU.

[heybaetae]

tag game catch-up :)

i've been tagged by @jkvjimin, @btsiu, and @kimtaegis in some fun tag games the past few days, but haven't had the time to participate until now, so i'm gonna consolidate them all into one post!

7 questions to get to know me better

last song: backseat serenade by all time low

favourite colour: neon green

last film/show: barry on HBO

sweet/savoury/spicy: savoury

last thing i googled: i googled the HFPA randomly at 3am last night lol

relationship status: single for life probably

current obsessions: dan and phil's sim series (i'm rewatching it all in reverse....idk why), videos about cool kitchen gadgets, and jeopardy

fave k-pop group tag

who is your favourite k-pop group? ↳ bts

which member sparked your interest first? ↳ j-hope! he captured my attention the first time i watched them in an interview, so i gravitated towards him the most in the beginning.

who was your first bias? ↳ naturally, it was hobi :)

who is your current bias? ↳ taehyung (ult), jimin, and jungkook

what makes them your current bias(es)? ↳ mostly everything stemmed from their individual stage presence first, then the more i got to know them as people, it solidified things. so in addition to hobi in the very beginning, jimin and jungkook also caught my eye when boy with luv came out. i tweeted a screenshot from their SNL performance and said "these specific three right here..." and my friend, who was a more seasoned army at the time, replied and told me they were the dance line! so that made sense why they stood out to me in that choreo. when dynamite came out the following year, taehyung (who had admittedly been under my radar somehow) completely knocked me off my feet and kinda knocked hobi down from my ult spot in the process, though i still consider hobi the entire reason i ever gave bts a real chance following my "casual fan" era. jimin and jungkook remained in my top 3 even though i didn't immediately realize i had emotionally locked in on the "maknae line" because i didn't learn more about their ages and "lines" until a little later. it just played out that way gradually. vmin(hope!!!)kook, my beloved.

who is your bias wrecker? ↳ jungkook and yoongi

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker? ↳ jin because he's coming home so soon and it's getting me sooo excited.

when did you first discover this group? ↳ i discovered them properly in 2018 when they were on the tonight show for the first time, but i'd heard of them as early as 2017 when they broke out in the U.S.

have you ever been to one of their concerts? ↳ yes, 4 ptd shows + 1 d-day show.

what are some of your favorite songs by the group? ↳ mikrokosmos, lights, friends, anpanman, best of me, and dis-ease!

february receiptify

i don't think i listened to spotify much this month, but i spent all day yesterday listening to greyson chance, niall horan, and harry styles music that i hadn't listened to in a long time so it naturally took over the algorithm lol

consider yourself tagged if you see this and wanna do it!

[liminalweirdo]

this is really sudden but any movie recommendations, im in a bit of drought for this to watch right now and i’m up for anything, especially if it’s horror related, or gay or can be interpreted as gay you know what i mean?

Horror and gays, two of my favourite things. Here's some movies that are mostly both.

My top choice is not-quite horror, and you've probably seen it, but just in case you haven't, Stand By Me (1986) is one of my favourite movies, and it's Stephen King, so it definitely has horror vibes, even if it's never out and out scary.

As for horror that's kinda gay? (I'll try to get the obvious ones out of the way since I'm not sure which ones you already know about.)

Ginger Snaps (2000) and Ginger Snaps: Unleashed (2004) feat. my favourite probably autistic, definitely (gender?)queer Brigitte Fitzgerald.

I know it's really popular now, again, but the old Interview with the Vampire (1994) was pretty queer for its time. Obviously the show outshines it in terms of queer content, but hey, I love these two idiots.

Tomie (富江) (1998) from Japan is pretty cool and queer. In a similar vein, Wishing Stairs (2003) (which I think is the third? one in the Korean Whispering Corridors series) still sticks in little queer teen me's mind.

Obviously Jennifer's Body (2009), this is like my comfort film lmao.

The Quiet (2005)

and

Excision (2012) feels pretty queer to me, but others might disagree. At the very least, Pauline is so wonderfully weird she's basically queer in my books.

All Cheerleaders Die (2013) was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.

also, maybe it's not overtly queer enough for other people, but the friendship in The Battery (2012) which is one of my FAVOURITE ZOMBIE FILMS OF ALL TIME is a pretty good one. It could be homoerotic if you squint??

Lyle (2014) and What Keeps You Alive (2018) are a very specific brand of overtly queer horror that is specifically, canonically queer, but not my favourite type of queer, if I'm being honest. I don't want to spoil anything so I won't say more. Lyle is an incredible film, and not just because Gaby Hoffman is so so beautiful and absolutely just knocks it out of the park. What Keeps You Alive is... less good, but fun to watch with pals, I guess. It's that kind of horror.

Speaking of beautiful people, Don't Kill Me (Non mi uccidere) (2021) Alice Pagani and Silvia Calderoni I'm sorry? My gender exploded. I don't know why it has such a bad rating on imdb. It wasn't amazing, but it was fun and unique. Worth a shot, imo.

The Perfection (2019) what a fucking ride. Pretty queer. Maybe don't eat first.

The Midnight Swim (2014) isn't quite horror and isn't quite queer but it is female-centric, and I don't think enough people have seen it. It deserves a watch.

The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015) was a girl's boarding school which already made it queer enough for me haha. Some good scares in this one. Better than anticipated.

And, speaking of boarding schools, The Silenced | 경성학교: 사라진 소녀들) (2015) is a Korean movie set during the Japanese occupation of Korea in the '30s and idk man. Beautiful, weird, gay. It was good. If you like this one, you will probably like A Tale of Two Sisters (장화, 홍련) (2003) which is (probably) not queer but very, very good horror and very beautiful.

They Look Like People (2015) is another one like The Battery. Could be homoerotic if you squint. Obsessed with the male friendship in this one, and the mental illness factor. I really love this movie. This is the movie I would maybe double-feature with Super Dark Times (2017) for top five fave boy-friendships.

Raw (Grave) (2016) arguably not queer, but certainly queered desires or 'othered' desires. Another female-centric horror. I love this one. Blue My Mind (2017) feels Queer AF. It's like if Fucking Åmål (1999) was a horror movie. I also recommend Fucking Åmål, but it's not horror, it's just queer.

Thelma (2017) actually queer. Beautiful, extremely well-done, not crazy about the ending.

Would it be weird of me to mention The Shed (2019) Maybe I just wanted it to be queerer? I can't actually remember if it was now, just that the potential was there.

And, not quite queer but definitely good horror, check out Magic Magic (2013) if you haven't seen it. Girl Asleep (2015) is horror adjacent, not super queer, but also just... so weird and good and fun.

[fersrsbizniz]

I see now it’s going to be “A Better Mouse Trap”

Something something about Sentinel? Let’s find out what my brain remembers.

*Note: I skipped this episode and watched the next one with my wife a little bit ago (didn’t realize I had skipped it until I saw where I was on my last saved reflection, so I get to share that with anyone who is interested soon).

Forever listen to the intro. I’d put this in a playlist. Hey…I wonder if Spotify…

I can’t tell. That might be the theme, or a cover, but it won’t play for me. Just got the campfire song song blasting currently because damn me and my curiosity.

So we have Waspinator, Terrorsaur, and Blackarachnia being dastardly, having plots, making Waspinator do all the work.

Glad to see it isn’t a bomb, considering the unstable energon vein that connects the two bases. This is going to be weak enough because it’s a sonic emitter aimed at a different part, on a smaller scale, I guess? Is it wise? Idk, who cares, she’s clearly put some thought into it, let’s move along.

And she’s bullying Terrorsaur. Nice.

Ah, a switch in POV. Rhinox is going over some changes he’s made to Sentinel (I do remember this episode!) that are very much meant to detain rather than maim, and tbh I would have been shocked if it had been to do more than knock someone out. I’m not sure I would call this impregnable, but if these types of defenses were actually implemented, the Predacons would have a bit of a tougher time.

What I mean is if we ever heard about all the changes ever again in other episodes (then again they are always managing to turn them off so maybe that’s why?)

Waspinator has been spotted on Cheetor’s watch and it sounds like Optimus is connecting some dots.

Sure he’s on the side of the Predacons, but I can’t help but have this soft spot for Waspinator. Yes, Waspinator, you rule, just not in the way you think.

Ooh a dig at Rattrap. Sounds like you’re learning more than just stealth tips there, Optimus. And then it’s all serious again.

THE FINGER WIGGLES!!! The little :) !!! I love

Cue chase, then back to base!

And Dinobot disapproves of the defenses, what a surprising revelation! lol

He does kind of prove his point there though. Might need more “tanglers” than that to stop Predacons that get past the initial defenses. Right now you just pissed him off, Rattrap. And you both are now going to mess up Rhinox’s hard work.

Yep. Yep. Yep. There you go.

Petty boy gets the petty prize of shocking oneself (and somehow not blowing a fuse), which begins the problems!!!

Something about the way he turns his head back with his hand is funny but I can’t pinpoint why.

And awww, its nice to see Rattrap acting responsibly. He does a lot of cool things when he’s like this.

Back outside…

Of course the energon surge happens now, but it does give Tigatron the chance to show his moves, again. HOWEVER, I’m not usually a huge fan of the I work alone mindset when there’s no reason for someone to have to work alone. Dire situations where inaction from even a single person could have terrible lasting effects? Yes, I’m for it. But currently they only know they’re looking for something fishy. Being stubborn like this is not a way to ensure the best outcome.

Back to base with being locked out of said base, jammed comm links, and Ooooooooh!!! He said it! He said the thing!

And now Rattrap is proving its not enough defense (although it would require the more thoughtful Predacons to devise ways to beat the programming)…well that OR that he’s just that good of an infiltrator.

He waved! Second wave!

Tigatron found the secret door! And now is off to cause some problems for the Predacons. All the while the other Maximals are trying to get back in.

And now I’m thinking…aren’t these methods a little…self-destructive base wise?

A stealth fighter, master marksman, and demolition expert? Yep (aside from the demolition thing) fave rpg build there. The demolition thing makes me think of how my wife always messed with me in Perfect Dark, and how I’d come after her with just my fists after she disarmed me, scaring the crap out of her with my tranquilized accuracy, before eventually being taken down because she was better at the game lol.

Okay Tigatron, I appreciate you have a stealth mode, but what exactly about this mode is…stealth?

I guess it was, if you were able to steal the emitter? Idk I was just sad Blackarachnia was sad about her invention being taken. A girl can’t even destroy something…

Once again I ask with more concern: WAS THIS EXPLOSION WISE?!?!?

You’re all lucky you didn’t trip up that vein omg I stg

Here Rattrap is being cool and all I can think of is wow, that is a SHINY backside because it’s like the brightest thing on the screen.

Really, I’m no expert on like defense, but (and I know it should be toss the logic here, they’re not prepared for all of this, etc…) shouldn’t there be more substantial defenses above if you are willing to go (what looks like) lethal with your defense here???

That’s a bit fatalistic, Rhinox. Sure Sentinel wouldn’t drop the shield if an enemy were still around, but it wouldn’t keep up the shield if the situation was fixed. Omg everyone is sad D:

And there’s Dinobot with the pragmatic eulogy (cue me shedding preemptive tears for future…I straight up can’t finish the sentence I am legit sad now)

At least you know where you stand, I guess (ow ow ow)

Awww Rhinox, he’s your best friend? 🥺🥺🥺 I don’t remember you saying that. But I can see it. Now the question is, are you guys the galest of pals?

And there Rattrap is, making a scene and lightening the mood for everyone. Major deaths? Not in this episode!

And that’s it!

(Now I want to play perfect dark but that’s like the n64 game and idk if we have the wires for that here)

[marvelandimagine]

I think some people mad about the arm is not necessarily about the fact that Ayo disabling the arm itself, it's more of the fact that it was not necessary and the fact that Bucky had no idea they can do that. If I were to be honest, I think it was not that necessary because Ayo is well capable of taking him down without having to disarm him and she is definitely not threatened by him. I think what some people find upsetting about that scene is the fact that it kinda comes off as Ayo putting Bucky in a position where it would make him feel like he doesn't have full control of his own body after all. The Wakandans, especially Ayo, T'Challa and Shuri had every right to feel betrayed and upset but the point is they should have told Bucky about how the arm can easily be disabled like that, they didn't know Bucky was going to set Zemo free when they gave him the arm and regardless of the things they have done for him and if they were ones who gave him the arm, they should have at least told him about it, because it's connected to him, it's a part of HIS body. It doesn't matter if it was necessary to disarm him or not, the point is they should have told him about it because apart from the fact that it's his body and that it was a bit insensitive given his history, it's also a point of vulnerability, and the fact that she did it in front of Walker (and possibly Zemo) --- people who can easily turn on Bucky, could easily that to their advantage and attempt to disable it themselves. Just my thoughts on it.

Thank you for sharing your perspective, anon!

I’m going to use this long-ass reply to address this stuff with Ayo and also voice some thoughts I’ve had over the past few weeks seeing people paint Bucky into being this complete soft and harmless human that needs 25-7 protection which I don’t jive with — and this is me, a complete Bucky stan.

Many moons ago, I saw a post that compared 1940s Bucky moving with stealth and a loaded gun on the train to the Winter Soldier doing the same thing, essentially discussing the similarities and debating how much of non-brainwashed Bucky was in the Soldier. And I think the fandom forgets or chooses to neglect the following when painting him as this fragile, peace-loving guy:

Bucky was an incredibly skilled sniper in the United States Army. His job is to eliminate threats in the most efficient way possible, and he’s good at it. HYDRA gets their hands on him and + the serum, this gets magnified. It wasn’t like HYDRA turned him into someone with the ability and mental capacity to kill — that was already there. The brainwashing and torture just carved out the rest of him to leave those honed skills and an amplified ruthlessness with no moral issues, no sense of self to contend with. That ruthlessness is part of Bucky, whether people like it or not.

When Bucky is outside of HYDRA for the first time and hiding in Civil War and gets attacked, he’s so brutal in his actions that Steve Rogers, the man who literally was ready to die to save Bucky and free him when no one else believed in the good in him, intervenes because “Buck, you’re going to kill someone.” Bucky responds that he’s not going to kill anyone, but the fact remains: with or without HYDRA control, Bucky has a strong capacity for violence that hovers on brutality — again, what’s the most efficient way to eliminate or neutralize a threat? Like, I don’t want to kill you, but I’ll knock your ass out with cinder blocks to the chest.

Bucky has a good heart, he’s loyal, he’s smart, he’s caring, he’s the longest-standing POW in history and was turned into a slave for decades, put through unimaginable trauma and torture and horror with no escape. Bucky is also a strong and incredibly skilled super soldier who has a bionic arm, is a trained sniper, is unnervingly precise with knives, and self-describes himself as “semi-stable.” Zemo notes in the bar that “it didn’t take Bucky long to get back into form,” and he’s right because the ruthlessness and skill of the Winter Soldier is a part of him and always has been. We see it when he has his hand around Zemo’s neck and tells him he will kill him, when he rips the glass from his hand and throws it across the room.

And I’m sure the Wakandans know all this about Bucky, this light and his ability for hard-to-stop violence, whether from talking to Steve and Bucky or doing their own homework. And they still choose to help him out of the goodness of their hearts because he’s been put through hell and they believe they have the capacity to help him and it’s the right thing to do — they’re betting more on those positive attributes. And they put a failsafe on his arm, a literal weapon, and chose not to tell him. You know why I think that shows how much they did care about him? Because they could’ve blatantly come out and said “Hey, we don’t trust you,” and hurt him outright, but they didn’t because they’re betting on the light in Bucky to outweigh the dark or any future manipulation. That it’s a worst-case scenario function they hope to never have to use — so they’re prepared if shit hits the fan, and if it doesn’t, Bucky doesn’t have to be hurt feeling like he can’t be trusted. I see no issues here, they’re just being cautious.

Now coming to Ayo, my QUEEN Ayo. From that beautiful, beautiful opening scene, we get to see her support, her reassurance, her belief that Bucky will be able to work through this, even when he doesn’t believe it himself. She watches him fight and struggle and cry, and you can feel the hope in her and how moved she is when she gets to tell him it worked, he did it — he’s free. And she says it not once, but twice. And you can hear not just the comfort, but the PRIDE and warmth in her voice directed to him, who I’m sure she’s watched throughout the whole deprogramming process and gotten to know and is happy to see him work through the pain and come out on the other side.

And then she sees that same individual make a decision in freeing Zemo that she perceives as a “fuck you” not just to her country, but to her, someone who was charged with protecting her king. She could’ve just disarmed Bucky the second they met up, but she doesn’t. She takes the time to explain her side and her feelings, her guilt and her shame, and basically implies that she feels betrayed by Bucky because Wakanda helped him and now he’s doing something that’s hurting her country. And still, she doesn’t attack or just go get Zemo. She gives Bucky the benefit of the doubt and a whole 8-hour American workday to do what he has to do because again, she believes in the best of him. And then that time limit runs up, and he chooses to get in her way.

And that’s the final straw. She’s angry, she’s guilty, she’s frustrated, and she feels betrayed hurt by someone I think she did respect and care about, someone whom she worked with and helped and supported when he was his most vulnerable. Did she “need” to disarm the arm to fight Bucky? Probably not. But is she doing it in the heat of battle and adrenaline and a whole bucket ton of emotions, including what she sees as the White Wolf blatantly disrespecting her country and her as a person and even friend and she just says fuck it, I’m done? You hurt us and me, and I’m going to hurt you back? Oh yeah. And Bucky looks shocked, not because he’s a poor fragile baby and “oh no, my arm, how could you?? my TrAumA”, but in the dual realization of “oh shit, how’d you do that?!” and “oh shit, I think I crossed a line here.” And also, I don’t think a single person in that room would be able to recreate the disabling sequence other than Ayo — it’s way too targeted and specific for someone like Walker to pick it up in the whole three seconds it took.

People need to stop reducing characters to these black and white extremes of soft and hard, of good and bad. Doing so completely devalues and ignores the REALITY of the complexity of being human, and Bucky and Ayo are both great examples of that played by stellar actors who portray that range and depth extremely well. End of the day, my thought is that the failsafe in the arm was justified and people need to stop coming for Ayo based on this ridiculous narrative that Bucky is too traumatized and sensitive and too much of a fave to ever be challenged or he’ll explode into dust. Boy deserves a life of freedom and healing and mental health support, but he’s also still a formidable opponent with the capacity for violence and skillset to kill. People are more than one thing.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!!

[jakekgs]

angsty sunghoon please ?? 🥺🤲🏻

stay stay stay, park sunghoon.

tried to make this as angsty as possible but the ending is fluff i’m so sorry :D title inspired by the taylor song but make it sad! this is a non-idol au + it’s long! sorry! has a small mention of kissing/making out at the end but nothing too suggestive.

not originally being from south korea made living there far more difficult than you had anticipated, but you couldn’t leave. your studies had been over for months now, and due to how demanding your work had been you hadn’t been home for years.

but you couldn’t leave him. park sunghoon, one of the first people you had met after you moved. the cute boy from your favourite class with a dimple in his right cheek, a feature of which his friends had convinced you was as rare as a shooting star.

since your first meeting, he had quickly charmed his way into your heart, a place in which he’d made himself comfortable and spent most of his time. and more importantly you were in love. he had a particular way of showing love in comparisons to your own, but whenever you recalled him thanking you for understanding how he shows his love, you were quick to tear up.

he was everything you could’ve wished for and more. from helping you with your school work, to your tightly holding your hand when you attempted to have him teach you how to ice skate. and the thought of leaving him was what had you sat on your apartment floor, pictures of the two of you laying on the table in front of you, with your fave outfit blanket wrapped around you.

you had never been so thankful for him to not be by your side, no matter how badly you longed for his comforting.

there would be no easy way to leave him. something you had promised to never do, but your suitcases were packed and sat beside the door. your eyes fell to the screen of your laptop. plane tickets you didn’t have the heart to buy and the rest of your apart stood bare, stripped of its life with no idea when you would return.

knock. knock.

you let out a long sigh, grabbing the nearest tissue and closing your laptop, wiping your face dry before you abandoned the warmth of your blanket. opening your door without a second thought, you heart and face fell. sinking to the lowest pits of your stomach as you took in the scene before you.

the love of your life, stood with a gummy smile, dimple on show and flowers in one hand, the other held the top of a paper bag with the contents being your favourite takeaway restaurant.

your eyes became glossy before you could stop them.

“supri— hey, what’s wrong? y/n, baby, talk to me.” he walked towards you, placing the flowers and food on the small table beside the door. he took note of how empty it was, as was the living room behind you.

he pulled you close, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and allowing you to bury your head in his chest. instinctively, your arms were around him within seconds and sunghoon could feel his shirt wetting from your tears and he bites down on his bottom lip to stop himself from getting upset.

“y/n?”

“mhm.”

“please talk to me.” he spoke softly, kissing the top of your head. “you’re scaring me.” he ends his plea with a small, heartfelt chuckle.

you found yourself smiling as he pulled away from you, his fingers intertwining with yours as he waited for you to speak.

“i can’t do this.” you hiccuped, breaking free of his hold and walking back to where you sat previously.

“what do you—“ his face fell for the second time since seeing you, suitcases….? “where are you going? wha— y/n?”

“what?” you snapped, far harsher than you had ever wanted to.

“i asked you a question. can you please tell me why your apartment is empty and you have two suitcases by your door?” you knew that tone, the tone that told you he didn’t want to go there, but he would.

“my uncle died. my mum’s brother.”

“what?” sunghoon’s voice almost cracks with shock. “when?”

“sunday.” and today was tuesday. you never told him, instead he was believing you when you told him you were feeling under the weather. he should’ve known. he sat down beside you, not touching enough to overwhelm you but close enough to comfort you when you needed it. “i think it’s— i think it scared her, and she,” you let out a shaky breath. “you should’ve heard her, sunghoon, i can’t leave her by herself.”

“leave her? what are you talking about?”

“i’m going home.” you said suddenly, almost cursing yourself for blurting out something so important. “and you know what that means.”

“no, y/n, i don’t know what that means.”

“how can we be together if we’re on opposite sides of the globe, sunghoon?” you cried out, throwing your arms in frustration and standing up to put space between you.

“it’s simple.”

“it’s anything but simple.” you scoffed, watching as he got up from the couch and walked to the other side, in front of you.

“we can be together if we go together.”

“it’s not like i want to break— what?” you almost choked on your own words, your eyes pouring into his with the hopes of understanding what he had said. had he meant it? was he serious?

“if you don’t want me there i won’t go. but if you’re going with no idea when you’re going to be back then i— i can’t just watch you go.”

your heart swelled at the thought, a smile began to form on your lips as tears fell from your eyes without permission.

“i want you there.”

“good, ‘cause i wanna be there.”

closing the space between the pair of you, you wrapped your arms around his neck and felt your shoulders relax into his touch.

“jump.” he whispers through your hair and you do as he says, feeling his hands and arms catch you. with his lips finding your neck, he swiftly and quickly made his way over to the couch, laying you down on your back with the blanket beneath you.

every time his lips met yours, it’s as if the past few days hadn’t mattered, every kiss was as distracting as it was the first time it had happened.

“so you’re gonna stay?” you muttered, foreheads close together as your breathing fell in time with each other’s.

“i’m gonna stay.” he smiled. “you’re not getting rid of me, staying is my nickname, baby.” his tongue clicked in his mouth, the heightening of his voices caused you to shake beneath him with laughter.

“i love you.”

“i love you too,” he said softly, leaving a chaste kiss on the tip of your nose. “now,” he sighed, pushing you on to your side so he could lay beside you. “plane tickets!”

�� JAKEKGS 2022

[softsnzstuff]

Writing for 9-1-1 you say? I’m just imagining Buck getting sick and not wanting Eddie to know because after Maddie left Buck never had anyone to take care of him so he always pushed through it but Eddie is just desperately trying to show Buck that he cares for him and omg I just love them so much

Hi loves! So sorry this has taken me weeks and weeks to get to! I didn’t forget, promise! Ask and ye shall receive! 911 is one of my fave shows to watch and ofc Buck and Eddie are my favorites! This is my first time writing 911 content so sorry if it’s short! I hope you enjoy!! More to come! 🤍~KB

*****

“Beat you again!” Christopher laughed as Buck’s tv screen showed his character as the winner.

“When did you get so good at this game Chris?” Buck asked, knuckling his nose.

“It’s a secret.” Christopher smiled.

“A secret huh?” Buck got up and made his way to the kitchen, “Well you know what else is a secret? The recipe for SNF these super tasty cookies… H’iiCHuh! snff H’ektCHIEW!”

“Bless you, Buck.”

“Thanks Chris.” He brought the plate of cookies back to the living room, sniffling when a knock sounded at the door.

Opening it revealed Christopher’s dad and Buck’s best friend, Eddie.

“Hey man, thanks for picking up Chris after school. Hope he didn’t give you too much trouble.” Eddie patted the younger man on the shoulder as he stepped inside.

“Apart from snfff kicking my butt at a few rounds of Smash Bros, he was SNF great as always.”

Eddie glanced at Buck after he had sniffled, “Are you okay? You’re very…sniffly.”

Buck rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to downplay the fact that he really didn’t feel that great, “Sorry just got a little teary eyed knowing that a ten year old can beat me in my own house.”

“I’m twelve Buck.” Christopher laughed.

“Oh right!” Buck teased, “Same difference. You can take some cookies home with you, just don’t eat them all at once, yeah?”

The boy nodded as Eddie led him out of the apartment, grabbing his son’s backpack for him. “Thanks Buckley!”

“No problem, Diaz.”

Buck closed the door behind them and exhaled sharply, rubbing at his throat. He wasn’t feeling too bad this morning, but whatever bug he’d managed to pick up had definitely caught up to him now.

He climbed the stairs to his lofted bedroom and crawled under the covers. He’d just rest his eyes for a little bit…

***

Back at the Diaz household, Eddie was cooking dinner.

“Hey Chris, did Buck seem weird today? Can’t put my finger on it…” Eddie asked.

Christopher was at the table finishing a math worksheet. “Oh you mean because he’s sick?” The boy asked very matter-of-factly.

Eddie stopped what he was doing. “Buck’s sick? Why didn’t he say anything.”

Christopher looked worried, “Oh no. It was supposed to be a secret. Please don’t tell him I said it.”

“I won’t tell.” Eddie said, “But I do need to go back out after dinner. Carla will put you to bed okay?”

***

Eddie made his way down the hallway of Buck’s apartment complex, stopping outside the front door.

He knocked but there was no answer. He could see under the door that the lights were on though. He gently tried the door handle and found that it was still unlocked - for someone who worked as a first responder, he could sure be dumb sometimes.

“Buck?” He called out cautiously, “It’s Eddie…”

The older man walked through the door and set the bag he was carrying on the kitchen counter. Suddenly, Eddie heard the bathroom door open upstairs and Buck stepped out in pajamas, a trail of steam creeping along the ceiling.

“iitSCHoo! H’itCHew! Hihhh H’AKTschIEW!”

“Bless you.” Eddie said out of habit.

“Jesus CHRIST, Diaz! What are you doi’g in my house??”

Buck was clearly startled as he coughed into a fist and made his way downstairs.

“Sorry. You left your door unlocked? Anyways I heard you were sick so I just brought you some takeout soup. Figured you wouldn’t want to cook.”

Buck looked confused, but pleasantly surprised. “You did that for me?… wait how did you know I was sick?”

“Christopher.” They both said in unison, realizing.

“Buck why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

“I don’t know…” Buck looked at his feet, “I guess after Maddie left, I’m just…used to hiding it? I can deal with it on my own.”

“I know you can, but you know you don’t have to do that anymore right? You’ve got all of us now!”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just let us help you. Now come eat some soup.”

[1kook]

youtube & use lube

part 7 of my netflix and chill collection!

summary: You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube.  warnings: smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook rating: mature (18+) miscellaneous: domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3  word count: 8.7k  

notes: finally…. 7 parts later and we get ~✨💓sub kook💓✨~ this was honestly my fave to write I think because I was obSESSEDDD with his softness and yn leading hehe /.\ also yeah we time jumped 6 months bc uhmmm 😎 story progression also here’s [ THE KOOK U SHOULD IMAGINE FOR THIS 😡 ] also if see a typo ummm no u didn't .

let me know what u think! a simple ask goes a long way <3

Despite what past experiences may dictate, Jungkook’s body is actually quite resilient. It’s due in part to his obnoxiously healthy lifestyle; avocado breakfasts, gym rat tendencies, and a normal person’s circadian rhythm (you could never relate). He lives the life health professionals can only dream of writing down in their notes, so careful of his well-being that it’s almost annoying. Of all the habits you help him break, the rituals he sometimes forgets, his health is never one and it’s actually one he ropes you into quite often. The ladder accident last summer had truly been an odd occurrence, and for a while after, you doubt anything else will ever happen to him. 

And then winter comes. 

Now, Jungkook, with all his superior bodily systems and strict lifestyle, is still not immune to the common cold. So when he comes down with a stuffy nose, a saggy frame, you’re not too surprised. It’s right after New Year’s, which you had spent it at one of Taehyung’s classic overcrowded parties this year, shivering on a rooftop as he kissed you silly under the fireworks, so one of you was bound to get sick. And you were sick for Halloween, so it’s only the universe’s way of leveling the playing field when he gets sick after New Years. 

What does surprise you is when he doesn’t bounce back right away. Usually, Jungkook’s high caliber immune system has him in tip top shape about two days later. But this time around, it takes a while. In fact, it takes longer than usual, and you don’t realize until you’re coming over on a Friday night, met with an unusual silence at the Jeon household. 

As you slowly grew accustomed to your life out of school, you and Jungkook accepted that you didn’t really have time to be glued to each other’s hips at all hours of the day. It was only natural that sometimes you had too much work, were too tired, or were just not in the mood to visit each other. That was fine, and you’ve come to quite appreciate this new routine, because it only made your heart flutter faster than before when you did see him next. You don’t have to see each other everyday, and that was fine; it was part of growing up together (and growing old together, your sappy heart says).

But today, this separation ends up being your downfall. Jungkook first showed signs of a cold on Monday, and now it was Friday and you hadn’t heard from him in two days. You’re beginning to suspect he’s come down with something severe— maybe that strain of the flu that he forgot to get vaccinated for this year —or even worse, dead.

Luckily, Jungkook isn’t dead, just sadly slumped across the end of his bed, nose a bright red and hair a tangled mess. “Oh no,” you frown, but there’s not an ounce of distress in your voice, because boy, was he cute. 

He groans at the sight of you. “Don’t look at me,” he whimpers, hands fisting the sheets. “I’m ugly.”

You bite down on a smile, hang your bag on the hook behind his bedroom door. He’s barely making an effort to stay on the bed, clinging to the side with such powerless hands. “Absolutely hideous,” you play along, arms wrapping around his middle. Registering your touch, your support, he immediately releases what little grip he had and almost sends the two of you tumbling to the ground. “My poor baby,” you croon, manhandling him back into the comfort of his sheets. 

Perhaps the reason you believed Jungkook was so immune was because, well, he never let you see him sick. 

He was picky about his presentation to the world, always wanting to show his best side. And well, you were in that world. Hell, you were probably the main person he wanted to show off for (not to toot your own horn), so he avidly avoided showing you his unpleasant sides. Even in college, when you had been practically stuck to his side, he had always made a big deal of pushing you away when he was sick, calling off dates and hiding away at his house. 

You sort of knew why. Namjoon had told you once that Jungkook when drunk was the equivalent of a needy, whiny baby. You could attest to that because wine drunk Jungkook and vodka drunk Jungkook were quite the experiences to haul home. And apparently Jungkook when sick was more or less the same. He was all doe eyes and pouty lips, magnified by his weakened appearance. He was adorable. 

He’s wearing a lot of layers, but it’s still winter so you don’t think too much of it. Dark long sleeve sweatshirt, the front tucked into some cute brown and black checkered pants. You see it as just some casual at home attire until you reach for his covers, hand brushing his hair from his face, only to find it ice cold. 

“Oh, you’re freezing, honey,” you frown, for real this time. Jungkook whimpers, snuggles into the sheets you pull up to his chin. He dozes off soon after, pouty lips chapped to hell and back. You reach for your chapstick, deciding to get one good use of it on your own lips before contaminating it with Jungkook’s sick germs. Even in his sleep he’s a good boy, rolling his lips together after you’ve applied it on him. 

With Jungkook knocked out, you pad back downstairs and into his kitchen. You can more or less infer that he’s come down with something a little more intense than a cold. His skin was cold, and his nose was runny, but, oddly enough, he wasn’t sweating. You decide to consult a professional. 

“The little gremlin is sick?” Doyeon repeats, a comforting buzz in your ear as you get to work making Jungkook your famous Get Better Soon Soup, idly waiting for the water to boil over. You confirm. Doyeon, legend that she was, accidentally sat an entire physiology class one semester (and passed), so this is the closest you’ll get to a doctor friend. “Hm,” she says, “what’re his symptoms?”

You press your phone between your ear and shoulder, clattering around Jungkook’s kitchen for ingredients. “Runny nose and colder than your ass that one time you passed out in the snow,” you supply. “Oh, but not sweating.”

Doyeon hums over the line, tells you to give her a second, and disappears. “WebMD is saying fever, but you said he’s not sweating?” You confirm again. “Throw him in front of the heater and make him sweat then. He has to burn it out somehow.”

“I can’t do that,” you sigh, pausing when you hear some vague sound from around the house. It’s not Jungkook, so you return to your call. Anyway, Jungkook’s house is, like, perfect. Always warm when need be and always cold as well. You don’t even think he knows what a space heater is. “He’s sick sick. Like, can barely hold himself up sick.” 

She scoffs. “And I care why?” You huff, go to scold her for their weird rivalry, but then she’s moving on. “Babe, just give him some pain relief and call it a day.”

“Fine,” you mumble. “Wait, can you look something else up for me?”

Anyway, Jungkook probably has a fever, except it’s weird because he’s not sweating it out. He wakes up about an hour later, but this time he’s more self aware. He eats his soup and takes the medicine you offer him. Afterwards, he can’t go back to sleep so he huffily asks for his iPad and begins watching some weirdly specific YouTube videos you don’t think you’ve ever seen him watch before. 

You have absolutely no idea what he’s watching, some niche videos of guys in Singapore turning random forest areas into underwater pools? You don’t know. Jungkook seems interested, though, for all of ten minutes until he falls asleep again. 

He’s still cold, poor baby, nose like an ice cube that just won’t melt. You find a heating pad you left over in his closet and place it on his chest. Your thought process is that if his heart, the source of all energy, was warm, then certainly the rest of him will warm up soon enough. Yeah, you missed the last three seasons of Grey’s Anatomy; you were a little rusty. 

So with Jungkook fast asleep and nothing else to do, you assume the age-old, patriarchal task of cleaning around the house. 

His house was usually neat and tidy, mostly as a result of Jungkook’s virgo manifestations, but even those varied. His living room tended to be spotless, but his personal office was a different story. But with him having been out of it this past week, the entire house is littered in tiny garbage that would make Normal Jungkook burst a blood vessel.

There’s a pile of Reese’s wrappers in the downstairs bathroom, on the sink next to his toothbrush. The sight makes you sad, because your poor boy must have been struggling if he was eating candy in the bathroom, where he… uses the bathroom. And then that thought makes you even sadder, thinking back to all the times he was sick and alone, fending for himself out of his weird embarrassment of showing normal body functions. 

You had thought he was cute when you first arrived— he still was —but he was also so weak and frail, bulky muscles rendered useless by whatever bacteria was attacking his body, making him sleepy and in pain for god knows how long. With a resolute nod, you sweep all the wrappers into the trash and decide to do your very best at helping Jungkook get through this sickness and bounce back better than ever. 

Before leaving his bathroom, you ransack his cabinets, deciding he probably keeps most of his antibiotics here. It’s a spot you never really snoop around, because Jungkook always keeps a fully stocked basket in his closet filled with your typical necessities— from conditioner to pads to nail polish remover, he kept it all. And furthermore, you always tended to use his upstairs bathroom anyway, so that’s where your toothbrush and the like were kept. There was really no need for you to ever look through the downstairs bathroom’s cabinet. So the downstairs bathroom cabinet is practically the other side of the world to you, a culture shock so strong it has you plopping down in front of it to thoroughly sift through. 

He’s got a disgusting amount of hair products, none of which you actually think you’ve ever seen him use, and a maniacal amount of tooth stuff. Now, you were quite possibly the biggest proponent for dental care, but this was ridiculous. Four packs of floss on reserve, and about three cases of those dental picks. A whole family pack of toothbrushes and one of those cute little cases for his retainer you’ve seen a few times. 

So overwhelmed with his ungodly stash of dental hygiene utilities, you almost miss the pretty pink tube hidden in the very back corner. 

You’re thinking it’s some makeup primer you left before that he mistook for moisturizer, probably dumped it with all his other things, only to find out you are very, very wrong. 

Sensation Warming Lubricant: NOW! in strawberry flavor 

You blink. 

Lubricant? Jungkook was using lubricant? Strawberry, sensation warming lubricant?!

Somewhere in your mind you had convinced yourself that Jungkook was a simple man, a lotion at his bedside drawer type of man. He had you for the last one and half year, and you two fucked like rabbits, so you hardly doubt he was jacking it alone these days. And even if he was, why on earth was he so specific about the type of lube he uses?

You turn the bottle around, eyes scanning for an expiration date or something of the like, only to find that the copyright symbol was under this current year. The year that had just started, like, two weeks ago. 

Oh, so this was new. 

You turn it over, eyes scanning over the warnings like it’ll tell you something about your boyfriend you don’t know yet, some other hidden secret that he’s maybe held from you. Granted, owning lube isn’t really a big deal, but the fact he’s got it so hidden away (not really, it was casually sitting beside his sunscreen) was definitely something to zero in on. 

Strawberry flavored, you read again, warming, stimulating, edible? Forget his weirdly extensive floss collection, you had stumbled upon something amazing in here, the goddamn Hope Diamond among snooping girlfriend finds. You’ll confront him about this later, you decide, when he’s back to normal and not whiningly calling your name from upstairs. You pocket it for now, tucking it into your cardigan pockets for said later interrogation, and bound up the stairs to him again. 

He’s sitting up in bed like a very angry and confused toddler, brows furrowed sharply like he’s mad. Actually, he just can’t see, the light from the hallway blinding him, so you shut the door and flick on his bedside lamp for him instead. “Hi, honey,” you coo, sitting down on the edge beside him. He’s still waking up, leaning a little too heavily into your palm when you cup his face. “How’re you feeling?”

“Terrible,” he rasps out, but he’s definitely looking better than before. You don’t know if you imagine it, but there’s this slowly accumulating sweat that forms along the base of his neck. “Please don’t leave again,” he says softly, droopy eyes glassy. 

Something shoots straight to your heart— an arrow from Cupid himself! —that makes you stroke his cheek tenderly until his eyelids are fluttering shut again. “I won’t,” you promise, feeling around for his iPad. He doesn’t seem like he’ll fall back asleep, sitting up with more strength than he had that morning. 

You end up climbing behind him, let him be the little spoon you know he secretly craves to be, as he watches his weird YouTube videos again. His body is so warm against yours, but his skin is still so cold. If what Doyeon had said was true, it’s no wonder he’s kept the same sickness all week. The rhythmic sound of machetes hacking at the earth and water trickling through bamboo pipes grows on you, makes you fall into a sense of comfort behind him, arms tracing circles over his chest. 

It’s a mindless habit, one you actually do a lot. Most of the time, it’s when he’s at his desk and stressed out, your masseuse hands making an appearance to soothe the muscles in his neck and chest from being hunched over for so long. Even now, your fingers unconsciously press into the fabric over his pecks, tickle up his sternum until he’s melting against you. 

It takes one quiet whimper from him to let you know exactly how he’s feeling. “Everything alright?” you inquire, halting your movements over his chest. Jungkook nods shakily, head lolling forward. The nape of his neck calls to you, whispers for a kiss that you tenderly bestow upon it. It makes Jungkook jolt, another pretty sound leaving his lips at the press of your warm lips against his sensitive neck. 

“No more,” he mumbles, rolls his head around until it’s resting against your shoulder, giving you a clear view down his chest. You slide your hands back up from where they’d gone stiff just around his ribs, let them palm over his pecs. Jungkook’s hips buck, a minuscule movement you almost miss. 

His heart thunders like the inside of a horse race track beneath your palm, breath picking up just from the simple motion of your hands on his chest. It’s on the fourth circle around his pecs that you feel your pinky briefly catch on something. “Poor thing,” you sigh, running the pad of your pointer finger over the hardened nipple that peaks beneath his sweatshirt. “Is this what was bothering you?” 

A shaky exhale in response, hands tightly clutching at his iPad and beloved YouTube video genre. “N-No,” he denies, but you chance a peak at his face, where his lips are bitten a rosy pink color, its slightly muted sister rushing down his cheeks, over his neck. 

You press the lightest of kisses to the side of his neck, and he shivers. “Need me to take care of you?” you purr, trail your hands down his chest towards where the hem of his sweater sits. You run your finger over it twice, before moving to slip your hand beneath. Your fingers brush along his abs, contracted tightly at your touch, and slowly make their way back up his chest. 

Fingers find his pebbled nipples, a gasp escaping his lips. “Does this feel good?” you ask softly, pinching the swollen nubs between your fingers. Jungkook groans, body arching just the slightest as you rub his nipples, tug and twist them until he’s a whining mess. “Need you to tell me, honey,” you encourage, lips ghosting over his neck. 

The second kiss has him flinching as well, head rapidly turning the other way as you slowly kiss over his neck. “___, please,” he pants, knuckles pale on the sides of the iPad. You're afraid it’ll snap, if not from his grip then from the way he pushes at it, like he’s breaking a wooden board over his knee. It’s still on YouTube, playing another video from the same collection, volume competing with Jungkook’s tiny sounds. 

Pressing your lips to his neck, you kiss along it slowly, reveling in the lovely noises that Jungkook produces the more you rub his nipples, lower body squirming animatedly before you. Your kisses grow wet for a short period, suck purple blossoms across his skin until Jungkook is quivering like a leaf. “E-Enough,” he begs, voice a wobbly mess that is so light and airy. 

You grin, giving his rockhard nipples one last flick before sliding your hands down his chest, over his stomach to toy with the elastic of his pants. He inhales sharply, iPad nearly snapped in half mid video. Ready to play with him some more (and slightly afraid for the future of his tablet), you reach out a hand to move it away, set it off to the side. 

But Jungkook doesn’t release it. In fact, he clings to the damn piece of tech tighter than before. “Hmm?” you murmur, bottom lip brushing against his neck once more. “Not letting go, sweetheart?” 

He shakes his head, soft crown of curls bouncing from the movement. “Can’t, can’t,” he shivers. His knees shift back and forth, move between being casually spread and flush together. Like he’s hiding something, using the iPad and the videos on screen as cover. You tug at his wrist and Jungkook shakes his head again. 

You change tactics, hand sliding around his wrist instead. The other travels up, up, up, comes curling around the base of his neck. Jungkook whimpers, tilts his head back for you cutely at the first brush of your fingers against his Adam’s apple. “Thought you were my good boy?” you ask, eyes zeroed in on the tremble of his lower lip. 

Jungkook exhales shakily, a rather torn expression crossing his features. “I am,” he insists, fingers still tight “I am your good boy.”

You smile, stroking the front of his neck softly as you lean down to press a kiss against his cheek. “You are, aren’t you?” He whimpers. “Then let go, honey,” you murmur, hand on his wrist giving another experimental tug. Still, his grip remains solid. “Jungkook,” you snap, “let go.”

“Y-You’ll laugh,” he cries, yet his grip slowly weakens. It’s with a swift tug that the iPad tumbles to his side, presses against his hip, and shows you the raging hard-on that stirs beneath the front of his cotton pants. Pressed nearly beside your ear, Jungkook shivers. 

Ever so slowly, your hands return to their place around his waist. “Why would I laugh, sweetheart?” you mumble, marveling at the way his cock twitches and jumps beneath his pants before you can even touch it. His shirt is hiked up just above his abs, your hands tenderly stroking over the skin beneath his navel, but it’s got Jungkook writhing. “Hips up for me,” you instruct. 

He shakes even when he pushes himself up, knees wobbling as you slip your hands beneath his waistband and tug them down his thighs. Afterwards, his legs flop forward flatly, spread out with his beautiful swollen cock on display against his hip. 

You trap it at the base and Jungkook mewls, hands fisting the sheets now that his beloved iPad has been snatched away. It’s still playing his videos, interrupting his saccharine moans with corny ads every few minutes. A hand snaps up to join, opposite of yours, until your fingers are entwined around his dick. How romantic, you think, discreetly rolling your hips back against the mattress. “Gonna help me make you cum?” you ask instead, give him a light squeeze that makes him jolt. 

“Uh huh,” he responds, feathery. 

You reward him with a kiss to his cheek, reaching up to brush away the hair that’s begun sticking to his forehead. In the very back of your head you recognize this as being good for his fever, but the rest of you is more concerned with the pretty pout on his lips. “Hold tight for me,” you smile, releasing his cock to press your finger against the very tip of his cock where a pearly drop of precum has begun forming. “So pretty, Jungkookie,” you praise, teasing the length of your finger over the slit on his head. It has that juicy droplet coating your finger, gliding seamlessly over and over again. 

The simple touch makes him buck, has him blindly wrapping an arm around your bent knee that was pressed to his side this whole time. He squeezes around you rather weakly, the majority of his strength going to holding his cock tightly like you’d instructed. He’s such a good boy for you, trying his absolute best, even when you’re very obviously overwhelming him. 

You roll the flat side of your finger over him, his mushroom tip slowly growing more and more slick as he produces more precum. It’s shiny, fits perfectly between your clasped fingers when you squeeze around his head. Jungkook’s breath turns labored. 

He’s always so well kept down there, skin so smooth and free of hairs, and you know he does it because he wants to impress you. “So pretty, baby,” you hum, acknowledging his efforts. Your praise makes Jungkook moan, suddenly fucking up into his hand. It’s accidental, because he hisses at the drag of his dry palm around his relatively dry dick immediately. 

“Hurts, hurts,” he whimpers prettily, lower lip caught between his teeth. 

You frown, slide your wet fingers down the base of his cock until they’re wrapping around his and Jungkook’s little gasps even out. “I’m sorry, baby, you gotta be patie—“

Something presses against your hip, something distinctly hard that you had hastily picked up from his bathroom cabinet earlier, and a whole new door opens before your eyes. “Hold still for me,” you tell him quickly as you release your grip around his cock. Jungkook wails at the separation, but you’re more concerned with wrestling the tube out of your pocket with one hand. It’s heavy in your palm, turning over until that big fat label on front comes into view again. 

Jungkook explodes at the sight. “Wh— Where did you find that?” he stammers, cheeks ablaze. “I-I don’t know where that came fro—“

You ignore him, hold the bottle of lubricant over his stomach as you uncap it, a gooey pink substance spilling over into your hands the moment the lid pops off. Jungkook is still rambling away about the origins of the bottle, as if you care. You set the bottle on his tummy, the cold plastic makes him shiver. But you know what’s not cold? The warming lube in your hands that only takes three rubs of your palms to activate. 

You latch down like a crazed animal around his cock. With both your hands fighting to grip at his cock, you’re pressed closer against Jungkook, lips against the shell of his ear. 

The initial touch makes him sob, back arching and legs kicking at the sheets piled at the foot of the bed as your slick hands track the lube over his dick. “No!” he cries, hands wildly reaching out to grab whatever he can as you slowly get to work pulling him off. “I-I can’t, __, I can’t.”

“You can,” you coo, watching the translucent pink substance coat his cock, join his sticky precum. 

Maybe you get overexcited in your efforts, forget Jungkook is the way he is right now because he was still a little weak from his fever, but you go crazy on stroking his cock. One hand lingers around the base, squeezing and rolling over his balls, palm pressing against the hardened sac and squeezing there too. The other focuses at the tip, does most of the actual stroking over his cock. His head is leaking precum now, every stroke and squeeze making him shudder and push out another drop, until it’s mixing with the lube to form a sticky sweet substance that you wanna lick at so bad. 

So you do. 

You release one hand to curiously bring it up to your face, turning it over and around as you examine the stickiness on your fingers, the fat drop that unintentionally drips onto the front of Jungkook’s sweatshirt. He sobs at the sight of your lips around your fingers, squirms and bucks into the hand still on his cock until he’s embarrassingly coming. “I’m sorry,” he wails, hands fisting the sheets, fucking into your hand like a virgin. “I didn’t— I didn’t mean to.” 

You draw your hand away, watching in slow motion the cum that just spurted from his cock come dribbling down the slowly softening length now. “Oh, sweetheart,” you croon, hands on his tummy. The bottle of lube slips to the side, meets the still playing iPad at his hip. It’s sticky and gross to touch him like this, especially when you know Jungkook hates being unnecessarily dirty, but you can’t stop yourself from softly caressing him, soothe him after such a hard-hitting orgasm. 

Honestly you had thought he would hold up a little more, let you get in a few more strokes, but he must’ve been more sensitive than you thought. “I’m sorry,” he cries again, head lolling to the side to meet your gaze with watery eyes. 

You tilt his head to the side, angle him just right for you to bestow your first kiss of the night against his little pout. Jungkook hiccups, melts against you as you slowly guide him through the kiss. He’s sloppy and shy, moves nothing like your normal Jungkook, and that fact alone has you slipping your tongue past his lips. He doesn’t fight back, just lets you play with him and sighs all delicately against your mouth. 

There’s something about this, his soft and submissive attitude, that has you pulling away to look at him. Big brown eyes, glassed over with unshed tears, and plush lips that call your name. And yet. 

“Open,” you murmur, hypnotized by the way that tiny mouth moves. 

“Huh?” Jungkook flushes, but he’s so good, he’s your good boy, and does so anyway. Lower lip quivers as he parts his lips, stuttering exhales creeping through as you purse your lips, let the saliva collect on your mouth, before rudely spitting into his. He flinches, whimpers softly, and swallows. He looks at you with these expectant eyes, like he wants to hear how much of a good boy he is, so you do exactly that. 

You brush his bangs away lovingly. “Aren’t you just so good for me,” you purr, revel in the way his eyes flutter shut at your touch, like you could never hurt him, and you won’t. 

As sweet as the moment is, there’s a raging fire in your core begging to be stroked, and your hyperfixation on Jungkook’s mouth lets you know there’s only one way to chase the feeling. “Up,” you tell Jungkook, who whimpers sadly when you finally escape from behind him. 

But you don’t get too far, settling beside him on the bed until you’re looking at the damage you’ve caused from the front. His skin is sticky in some places, pink sheen of the lube decorating him from your incessant touching. Pants around his thighs, shirt against his chest. His face is flushed, all the way down to his chest and up to his ears, so rosy and pink all for you. He shies away under your gaze, drops his head to his chin bashfully. 

You grin, shuffle forward to turn those pretty eyes back towards you. “Messy little thing,” you tease, slotting your mouths together again. Jungkook moans this time, lazily kissing you back. His lips move in slow motion, trembling hands reaching for your face to cup, your name falling from his lips when you pull away slightly. “Need you to help me out now,” you murmur, hand on his jaw. “Can you do that, honey?” Jungkook nods hurriedly, eyes foggy and on your mouth. “Lay back.”

He does so, rushes to lay against the pillows until he’s flat on his back. You get to work on your clothes, shed your cardigan and languidly tug your top over your head in the way you know makes your breasts bounce. Beneath you, Jungkook whines at the sight. “You too,” you remind him, wiggling out of your jeans. At your instruction, he begins fumbling with his clothes, pants and underwear haphazardly thrown over the edge of the bed. 

By the time you’re naked, you’re met with a rather amusing sight. 

In his haste to take his clothing off, Jungkook seems to have gotten himself tangled in his long sleeves, shirt awkwardly bunched up around his wrists and twisted over some. You chuckle. “Help please,” he asks so politely, shaking his arms back and forth above his head. But you’re genuinely confused as to what he did, because one of the sleeves wraps around the other, pins the bulk of the fabric to his skin, and then the other wraps around that. A mess you don’t bother dissecting, simply climbing over him. He complains, of course, soft huffs you wave off. 

“Don’t need them anyway,” you shrug, can’t help the lovesick look you send him when you brush his hair away for the umpteenth time. Jungkook leans into the touch sweetly, rosy cheek pressed against your palm. “Lemme see your pretty little tongue,” you order, pussy clenching when he does as told and rolls his tongue out for you, tip pressed against his bottom lip. “Good boy.”

A soft whimper, and then you’re shuffling over him, pretty doe eyes watching with amazement when you finally hover over his face. “For me?” he asks so softly, so sweetly. 

It’s a question you’ve heard him utter countless times before in similar settings, always with a cocky grin and mean eyes, ready to send you to hell and back with his tongue or his cock. But it’s different now, big shiny eyes looking at you like you’re the greatest thing to ever happen in his life, so pliant and demure beneath your touch like he lived to serve you. 

“All for you,” you assure him, get comfortable, and slowly lower your pussy over his face. His eyes flutter shut immediately, pink tongue ready for you by the time your dripping cunt nears his face. 

You can’t help the moan that tears itself from your throat, a soft cry as he begins lapping against your folds. He’s so tender, so careful. It drives you crazy. Hands above his head squirming as you slowly grind your pussy over his face, more mindful than usual because he was so delicate tonight, like a baby bird that shivers with the simplest touch. 

His tongue is smooth, circles around your clit. He nudges your bundle of nerves back and forth a few times, sends an initial wave of tingles down your spine, before taking it between puckered lips. His slurps it into his mouth, where it’s so hot and wet, it makes your grind stutter. “Oh,” you pant, reaching down to tangle your fingers in his hair. “P-Perfect,” you mumble. 

The praise makes his features twist up cutely, mouth desperate to get more out of you. “You like that?” you gasp, holding his head still as he runs his tongue along your folds. Jungkook nods, eyes glazed over as he messily begins eating you out. “Like when I tell you you’re a good boy, Jungkookie?” 

He lets out a broken whine, the vibrations shooting up your spine and making you shiver. Tongue pressed in at your entrance, prods gently like it’s his first time (it’s not) and he’s gauging your reactions. “Oh baby,” you shudder, fingers tightening in his curls. 

He looks like an angel beneath you like this, halo of curls artfully splayed across the sheets, arms knotted above his head. Big pretty eyes that make you want to lay down and be his bitch instead, their power just so strong even when he’s whining and whimpering against your pussy like this. His tongue dips into your cunt, makes you buck against him by accident. “I’m sorry, angel,” you breathe, so caught up in your thoughts that the name just slips. It makes Jungkook’s cheeks flush a pretty pink, arms tug at their makeshift restraints. But his brain is scattered, torn between releasing himself, eating you out, and being shy. 

He settles soon enough, ends up just sticking his tongue out flat for you to grind against, using the grip in his curls to drag your pussy over his face. His scalp feels warm, sweat clinging to his hairline. He sighs endearingly against you, and it’s that final puff of warm air against your folds that has you coming, cum dripping over his lips and chin sinfully. 

When you finish, you quickly get off of him, lay down beside him. Jungkook is panting softly, tongue peeking out to taste the cum that splattered against the corner of his lips. “You were so good for me,” you praise, idly dragging your finger across his skin, collecting your cum on the tip. 

Jungkook looks at you with a heavy gaze, knotted wrists slowly returning to rest over his abdomen. “Can you… Can you call me that again?” he asks hesitantly, so shy and polite. 

“Hm?” you ask. “Angel?” His lips part, an awfully aroused look crossing his features. You smile, press your cum loaded finger against his lips and he opens, sucks around your finger and moans. “My pretty little angel,” you purr, slowly thrusting your finger in and out of his mouth. Before you can stop yourself, you’re leaning over to kiss him again, swallowing his cries in your desperate need to taste yourself on his tongue. Jungkook is more active this time around, daringly challenging your tongue with his before ultimately giving up, languidly following the pace you set for the kiss. You pull off with a pop, leave him dazed and trailing after your mouth cutely. 

You pat his cheek once, offer him a tender smile, before moving to get up and clean up. Jungkook whines at your departure, and it’s only once you’ve sat up that you realize why. 

Half hard cock at his hip, fattening slowly but surely. Instantly, it’s like the post-orgasm fatigue is yanked away, pussy throbbing at the sight of your angel and his cock, swelling from eating you out and kissing. He was too good to be true. 

“Oh, you poor thing,” you sigh dramatically, shifting onto your knees at his hip to look at him. Something pokes your leg; it’s the stupid iPad playing his dorky YouTube videos that you click off and chuck to the other side of the bed. You had had enough of that by now. 

He’s not at full mast yet, and he’s not getting there quick enough for your liking. So you take matters into your own hands. (Besides, what was stopping you tonight? Certainly not this soft, pliant Jungkook.)

Kneeling between his legs, you reach for the forgotten bottle of lube, squirt a fat glob into your hands, then decide that isn’t enough and squirt it directly onto your chest. Jungkook watches with wide eyes, lower lip caught between his teeth. “What— What’re you doing?” he stammers, can’t even sit up with his hands held together. “__, y-you don’t have—“

Squeezing your breasts together, you slip his cock between the crevice, watch as his angry head comes out on the other side so easily, so slippery. Oh, this was gonna be post-work, shower-time, spank bank material for months. 

Jungkook sobs, loud and unfiltered at the sight, expression torn as he watches you slowly work your tightened breasts down his quickly hardening member. “T-Too much, too much,” he cries, squirming and bucking beneath you. “I-I’ll come—” 

“Don’t,” you snap, stilling your moments to flick your eyes back to him. His head is rolled back, jaw strained, but when he manages to lift it up and look down at you, there’s tears that streak his cute face, trails that glisten when the lowlight of the lamp hits him just right. “Don’t fucking come yet, Jungkook.”

He sniffles weakly, more tears spilling from his eyes. “But I— it feels,” he blubbers, knotted hands reaching down for the base of his cock. You slap it away. “___, please,” he wails, face flushed from all his conflicting emotions. 

Ignoring his cries, you get back to work, moving your upper body to and fro to simulate the thrusting motion he is too weak to do himself. He whimpers pitifully, more tears leaving his eyes when you lean down and spit on the head of his cock when it emerges next, make it join the rest of the ungodly fluids painting your chest. Honestly, you’re certain it’s that damned strawberry flavored, sensation warming, edible lube that makes this experience so enjoyable, so mind-blowing. 

Jungkook seems to agree, stuttering out a messy whine. “Feels weird,” he snivels, only to be cut off when you release him from in between your tits. Immediately, he begins lamenting the loss. 

Slowly, you ease him back in. You’re beginning to understand the intensity of that damned warming lube, because with each glide of his cock between your breasts, it’s like a tingle of nerves sparks within you, insides folding in on themselves as they channel all their energy to that one area of hastily spread lube. It feels so good and wet and messy, Jungkook’s whiny sniffles only fueling the experience. His cock twitches dangerously, and you flash him a glare. “Jungkook,” you warn. 

“I’m sorry,” he weeps, thrashing back and forth as if that makes it any easier. “I just— I want,” he chokes, hips bucking into the suction you’ve created between your boobs. Tentatively, you stick your tongue out, let his tip brush against it on the next thrust. Jungkook curses, a feral groan escaping his lips. “Wanna fuck,” he seethes, “now.”

It’s but a slight peek into his regular personality, his normal mannerisms. But something about it now annoys you. In fact, it pisses you off, seeing him be so complacent and sweet just to try and overthrow you at the last second. And it’s with this same train of thought that you release him, climb over him like a crazed sex demon, and press your hand to his throat. 

“You're supposed to be good,” you spit, scowl turned on him and it immediately has Jungkook drawing back with his tail tucked, falling into line as he should. “You’re supposed to be my angel tonight, remember?”

Jungkook nods, big round eyes looking at you like you’re insane, but the cock that presses against your ass tells you that he likes it. “I-I’m sorry,” he stutters, shrinking back into the mattress. Sticky hands around his throat, probably make him warm and tingly, but all you can think about is those pretty eyes. Sensing your wavering emotions, he takes advantage by tilting his chin forward for you cutely, pink lips trembling as he silently asks for a kiss. 

You release him.

“Stupid angel,” you huff, mouth against his. “Gonna make me mad if you don’t act right,” you remind him, pushing his sweaty curls away from his face. He whimpers against your mouth, let’s you play with his hair as you calm down. He’s a blushing mess beneath you, every inch of him flushed and warm and sweaty. 

You shift back and are met with his still rock hard member against your ass. You touch him appreciatively, reaching back to stroke him with a half-assed grip. It makes him moan nonetheless, pulling away from your lips to mewl against your shoulder. “Wanna fuck?” you hum, curling your hand over the tip like he likes, watching his head roll back against his pillow at the sensation. Jungkook groans, doesn’t seem to hear you now. You try again. “Wanna fuck my pussy, baby?”

“Yes,” he gasps this time, jolts when you press the tip of your finger against the slit on his head, plug his cock from releasing any more precum. “Please, please,” he begs, the hands on his chest straining against the shirt he still hasn’t managed to shake off. 

One last kiss is delivered to him, a chaste one against his pout that makes him whine. “Whatever you want,” you purr, line him up. 

Your hands are still sticky with the lube and so is his cock. Everything is sticky; his cock, you folds, your tits, his neck. It’s a big sticky, slippery mess, but you can’t even be annoyed because everything feels so good. Your tits tingle from whatever they put in that damn lube, nipples rock hard and extra swollen today, like if you don’t touch them you’ll die. You sink back into Jungkook’s throbbing cock, and the second his cock spreads the lube along your walls, you’re jolting because it just feels so damn good. 

You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube. 

His cock pushes past your folds, fits snugly inside of you just like it belongs. It still feels like the first time, feels like your first day where he was so perfect and sweet. Part of you wonders what would have become of you two if he had reacted like this that day, soft and whiny, when you first prepositioned him. Maybe the sexual aspect of your relationship would be entirely different today, maybe you’d be one the always leading. 

But… you’re not sure if you’d want that. Leading is fun— hell, you’re certain this moment will be what you get engraved on your tombstone —but you were a pillow princess at heart with occasional dominant tendencies. You drool over this moment now, but if he asks for this again tomorrow you might actually bend over and die. It was a lot of work, keeping the energy going, and you find yourself having this newfound sense of respect for Jungkook as his cock slips past your folds. 

Anyway, when you sit on his cock, fingers teasingly tightening around his throat, Jungkook’s eyes are weirdly focused on your tits. He’s been doing that a lot lately, losing his mind by just staring at your tits. On some occasions he puts them in his mouth, gets possessed by some titty loving monster and sucks on them until you’re trembling. It’s fine because it’s quite frankly a huge ego boost, but something him now makes you want to pick at him for it. 

“They’re yours to taste, angel,” you hum, slowly rolling your hips over his fat cock. Jungkook whimpers, softly ruts up into your heat the next time you press down. “Tell me what you want,” you exhale, a breathy moan. 

He doesn’t say anything, just drops his mouth open for you with a trembling lower lip. Tongue peeks out, eyes glazed over in his lust, looking every bit like those hentai ads he hates so much. But you fulfill his wishes, help him sit up until he’s flush against your chest. His awkwardly bound hands get squished in the middle, and he says, “m-my hands...” 

“I’ve got you,” you soothe, undo his self-made restraints and toss them to the side. Immediately, he’s wrapping his arms around you, pulling you flush against him to latch his lips around your breasts. “S-Slow down,” you whine, hands on his biceps as he sucks your tit into his mouth, twirls his tongue around your nipple. He’s good with his tongue even when he’s sick. 

He pulls off with a pop, ragged breathing only making you more sensitive as it fans over the thin layer of saliva he leaves on your tits. “Tastes like strawberries,” he groans wondrously, head against your chest. You use the lull to get back to fucking yourself on him, but Jungkook’s got other plans. He rolls the two of you over, pins you beneath him with his hot and sweaty body. “I’m sorry,” he moans as he begins jackhammering his thrusts into you. 

Your back arches, legs thrown around his waist as the sudden change of events. “Fffuck,” you heave, “harder, angel— gotta fuck like you mean it.”

Jungkook shudders, hands looped around the small of your back. His cock rams into you over and over, each glide of it against the walls of your pussy making you unravel in his arms. His lips latch around your other boob, suck and suck like he’s expecting something to come out.

That’s when it hits you. 

“N-Nothing there,” you tell him, arms wrapped around his shoulders. His lashes are wet, eyes pinching tighter at your reminder. He pulls away almost to protest, but then you’re guiding him up to your face, hot breath mingling with yours. “Nothing there because you haven’t given me a baby yet,” you murmur darkly, watch the emotions flood his features as you tap into that taboo kink of his. 

He chokes, grinds his cock into you and holds it there. “I-I didn’t,” he sniffs, “we never— you never said,” he whines, “...you wanted one.”

You cup his face in his hands, feel slightly mean for the pride you get from his tear stricken appearance. “I do,” you purr, lazily kissing him. “Want one if it’s from you. Don’t you?” He nods like an antsy puppy, quivering against you as he slowly and shallowly ruts into you. “Don’t you wanna see me like that, angel?” you egg on, hands looping behind his neck, idly playing with stray waves and curls. “Tummy so big and swollen because you did something bad, because you couldn’t pull out.” 

Jungkook sobs, pulls you impossibly closer until the head of his cock is missing your cervix repeatedly. One of your legs is pressed nearly to your chest, hip tight from the force in which he holds you. “I-I want,” he agrees, more tears spilling down his cheeks. 

You smirk evilly, kissing the corner of his mouth gently as he slowly picks up the pace of his thrusts. “Then fuck me hard, Jungkookie,” you demand, “fuck me full of your cum.”

Jungkook nods with a sniffle against your shoulder, fingers tightening against your skin as he slowly but surely begins nailing you into the mattress. He’s a good boy, always, because he does exactly what you tell him to. Uses those bulky muscles to hold you down, makes it impossible for you to move as he pistons his hips, cock sheathing itself inside your cunt. 

Every drag makes you unconsciously clench, the raw feeling consuming your thoughts. His cock is so big and wet today, certainly due to that stupid lube from beneath his cabinet. Your entire pussy feels like it’s on ecstasy, stupidly geeked up by that lube, and you’re sure Jungkook’s cock feels the same. It makes the glide so much better, so much easier, each ram of his cock feeling so easy. “Oh, fuck,” you whimper, nails digging down his spine. Jungkook is a sobbing, sniffling mess against the crook of your neck, absolute gibberish falling from his lips. 

But you’re no better, tongue seemingly set on a chaotic rampage to validate every single one of his fantasies. “Gonna fuck me while I’m pregnant?” you pant against his ear, fingers tugging at his hair. He doesn’t offer more than a strained cry, thrusts momentarily falling out of rhythm. “You would like that, huh? Fucking me when you’re not supposed to. You’re so bad, Kook-ah,”  you gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Only pretend to be an angel but really you’re just a dirty, little pervert.” 

He wails loudly, slams his hips so hard into you that it makes you sob as well. “N-No,” he blubbers, tears against your skin. “I’m good— I’m a good boy,” he stresses, fingers bruising their prints into your skin. 

He presses so close, cock practically making your stomach bulge, but neither of you see. “Dirty angel,” you spit, yank his hair back roughly until he’s forced to look at you with that watery gaze. “So horny you’re willing to get me pregnant.”

Jungkook cries out, snaps his cock into you like he’s trying to break you in half. “No,” he heaves, tears dripping down his cheeks and onto yours. “I-I-I’d do it right,” he defends weakly, hips losing their demonic pace as his orgasm sneaks up on him. “Ma— Marry first… then, b— ba— bab—“

You swallow his words with your lips, kiss him like you’re on the verge of death in a desperate attempt to hide your tears from him. They paint your cheeks in stark strokes, trail down your skin and make everything blurry, but so does your orgasm. 

You come first, heart and body trembling at his unexpectedly sweet words, as you become a whimpering, teary mess beneath him. Jungkook follows, cries out your name one last time as he busts inside of you. 

Sticky and gross, he falls onto the pillow beside you. Poor baby is so tired, curls covering half of his face, but lips cutely puckered against the pillow. He’s sweaty as hell though, which you now vaguely remember was your original goal with all of this so you count this as a success. 

You think he’s fallen asleep, sitting up slowly and reaching for that t-shirt that bound him together earlier to clean up. He shudders when you run it against his skin, obviously still overwhelmed. You shift around the bed in search of today’s MVP. “Where’s the lube?” you mutter to yourself. 

Jungkook groans. “YouTube?” he asks, voice dry as all hell. 

“No, honey, the lube we used,” you respond, running your hands over the sheets for any signs of the pink bottle. 

“Want YouTube,” he mumbles, lets you swaddle him up in the blanket again. You roll your eyes and reach for the forgotten iPad that had long since tumbled to the floor. When it turns on, that same video from before is on pause so you don’t bother changing it as you hand it back to Jungkook. “Nice,” he murmurs, “underground water slide.”

You snort. “Weirdo.” He glares cutely, eyes barely open at this point. “Watch your YouTube.”

“Use your lube,” he sasses back softly, nonsensically, and then rather anticlimactically passes out. 

There’s something soft in your chest, something so big and overwhelming, that has you bending over his sleeping figure, mouth brushing against his. “Hurry and get better, angel,” you whisper, wish on it with all your heart. 

 To no one’s surprise, you get sick two days later. Doyeon laughs and laughs for hours about it, tells you that’s what you get for using sex as medicine. But Jungkook’s back to normal, which means he stays over and coddles you to death. 

“Hurry and get better,” he says, spoon feeding you your famous Get Better Soon Soup that you passed on to him. “I have a question to ask you.”

There’s a little black box in his downstairs bathroom cabinet that you swear you’ve never seen, but Jungkook knows you’re lying. 

It fits perfectly. 

epilogue

She scoffs. “And I care why?” You huff, go to scold her for their weird rivalry, but then she’s moving on. “Babe, just give him some pain relief and call it a day.”

“Fine,” you mumble. “Wait, can you look something else up for me?”

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[shinjaeha]

bad buddy ep 10 (thoughts)

ep 10 completely wiped me out for a good few days. in the same way that ep 5 left me in a distracted daze the whole week, ep 10 kicked me in the chest at full force and i’m still reeling from the impact of it all.

phenomenal. idk how this show keeps exceeding my expectations, but somehow it keeps doing it. i thought ep 5 was going to remain my fave ep of this show forever bc of how much emotional it made me, but then ep 10 happened and made me feel emotions i didn’t even know i could FEEL and it just up and knocked the breath (and tears) right out of me.

anyway, i’m just SO GLAD that they postponed this ep bc i would have for sure spent new year’s crying my eyes out so that was a good move on gmmtv’s part for sure 😭

so in the excitement of the new ep, i almost forgot that we left off on pat’s parents seeing pran exiting his room and ngl...the way he got all flustered and left the scene to avoid confronting them is absolutely something i would have done as well. it would almost have been funny if my poor heart wasn’t beating so fast for him.

i love that pat’s gun excuse wasn’t even a lie (though a half truth, i guess, but understandable). kind of telling that his dad’s first question after seeing his son who was just SHOT wasn’t about his wellbeing but to ask why pran was there...talk about red flags...

i have such different feelings about his dad’s apology rewatching this than upon my first watch. the first time, i really thought that maybe his dad wouldn’t be that hard to win over after all...now i realise that it says a lot that pat told pran he’s never seen his dad like that before in his entire life. poor boy was SO excited :( only for the image of his father to be ripped to shreds at the end of the ep.

i like their conversation by the bins bc it really highlights how different their personalities are. pat, ever positive and idealistic about the rift between their families potentially being mended through this incident. pran, more negative and realistic about their situation. the characterisations are so consistent and have stayed the same since the start (look at the difference in their reactions after the rooftop kiss).

love that pat basically just lives at pran’s dorm now :’)

SO. LET ME TALK ABOUT WHY STAIRWAY ‘PROPOSAL’/CONFESSION SCENE IS EVERYTHING TO ME.

we get scenes like this in het rom coms ALL THE TIME, so it’s just so lovely and heartwarming to see this adorable, cheesy, public confession between two boys be such a normalised thing?? like to have the entire architecture crowd just cheering them on????? i am, and always will be, a hopeless romantic so i loved every single thing about this.

i specifically love that it was orchestrated by pran and his friends (and his mentor?? that guy was so drunk i thought he was gonna fall down the stairs omg). this was pran’s way of showing pat how much he loved him. even if he technically wasn’t the one that was declaring his love publicly like pat, he set the whole plan into motion bc he KNEW that this was what pat always wanted. for their relationship to be out in the open, no more hiding, no more sneaking around their friends and faculties. he gave pat the chance to express his feelings in a forum much more public than instagram...to announce to the world (or to pran’s faculty at least), that he’s taken like he said he wanted in ep 8.

and that in itself is a gesture on pran’s part too, since it proves how he's all in for pat now as well. he’s completely okay with their relationship being out in the open (aside from their parents for obvious reasons), and even encourages pat to confess to him. it lays the groundwork for the latter half of the ep bc this scene really solidifies their relationship officially. to me, it shows that they’ll be able to weather through whatever storm that comes their way together.

something else that makes me happy about this scene is that this is the both of them actually being vocal and public about their relationship on their own terms. they were outed against their will the first time, but now it’s all them. THEIR the ones choosing to turn this into a public declaration of their love for one another. i especially love that, like everything else, pran turns pat’s love declaration into a challenge for him, and as always, pat is up to the task.

pran changing his password to ‘praninlove’ he’s such a hidden SAP and i love it :’))) and pat saying pran likes origami is such a cute detail bc it brings me back to ep 2 during the secret admirer arc when pran folded the little origami crane for pat (even though he didn’t know it was pat back then). that’s so adorable.

everything pat mentions is something we already know about pran, and that makes me feel like i’m in love with him too 😂

i also really like that this is basically their big romeo and juliet balcony scene, but it’s not just pat walking up there to meet pran at the top (like how romeo climbs up the balcony to meet juliet in most stage/film adaptations). it’s pat ascending the stairs as pran descends them so the two of them meet halfway. always as equals. bad buddy shows us this time and time again. how the two of them are never too stubborn to give in/let the other ‘win’...they’re always making compromises for one another and meeting each other halfway (like how they literally meet each other in the middle of the stairway).

they’ve fist bumped at every stage of their relationship now. it’s been their thing since the beginning 😭

it’s not that i wasn’t expecting waikorn...but i also wasn’t really expecting it, if you know what i mean?? 😂 it was nice to see them share in on the product placement scenes too haha. and at least now we know that everything is fully reconciled with their friends. they won’t be holding them back anymore (and, if anything, i hope they’ll be there to support them when they need it most).

how much do i love that pat didn’t go down the stereotypical protective/possessive older brother route when wai asked if he could hit on his sister. he basically just told him that it was all her decision...and that he could shoot his shot if he wanted, but he had competition. it’s the bare minimum, but it’s so nice to see an older brother actually respect his sister and her decisions in her own love life for once.

speaking of paa’s love life, ink buying her a not so anonymous cake and making paa question her feelings!! THEY’RE HONESTLY THE CUTEST AND I LOVE THEM IN EVERY WAY.

chai coming with the tea (pun intended)!!!!!!! no, but fr i’m so glad that they could reveal their relationship to an adult who already knows about the feud between both their families, and who actually accepts their relationship, encourages them, and tells them that one day things will get better (my fave kind of foreshadowing). i also love that chai caught onto them pretty much right away when he’s only ever seen them interact together like three times. literally no one else that was around them ever figured our their relationship (aside from maybe ink).

i def knew that the animosity between their parents had to do with more than just the business, but i wasn’t expecting everything about the business to be a lie that they were keeping up.

i can’t believe i really got the paa asking pat for advice on her love life bonding scene i’ve been craving this whole time :’) and then pat just spinning her own love guru advice back onto her. their relationship is the absolute sweetest!!

inkpaa picnic/photography lesson date!!!!!!!!!! paa using her first two signs to test whether ink feels anything and getting virtually no response other than confirming to herself that SHE likes ink though 😭 esp when wai comes onto the scene and she can see him react (very expressively) to the first two signs, but she’s not feeling the same way AT ALL. all that does is make her compare how she feels for the two of them and solidify her feelings for ink once again.

okay but i laughed so hard at ink’s reaction the entire time wai was there. she was SO fed up with him omg. the way she literally only said bye to pran when they were leaving, and the final glare she shot wai (and his reaction to it)?? comedy gold.

at least wai was perceptive enough to pick up on it and give up on paa though!! i almost felt bad for him (and that’s on jimmy’s utter adorableness tbh).

ink finally showing the third sign without paa being the one to prompt her (thanks wai)!!!!! i don’t think you understand how i SCREAMED when ink asked paa if she was dating anyone and paa responded that she had someone she liked!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m so in love with them!!!!!!!!!

i think most of us called that whatever their feud was about, it was always between pat’s dad and pran’s mum...so it wasn’t really a shock that they both went to the same high school together (i knew they had to have some deep rooted history to have such animosity for one another).

i do think it’s nice seeing pat and pran do all their detective work together though. they’re so cute.

seeing them back at their old high school to find out more about their parents made me so excited bc i LOVE their high school flashback scenes. pran grinning with those dimples as he watched pat get punished?? and then not denying it when pat teased him about how he’d just confessed that he’s been looking at him like that since high school?? they have the strongest hold over my heart.

pat carrying pran’s bag JUST BOYFRIEND THINGS.

anyway, i just love seeing them be so out in the open about their love now. and having pat joke with their old teacher about how they’re a couple now. it’s the happiness they deserve :’)

not the my school president boys covering patpran’s song!!!!! so they really left a legacy at this school, huh.

pran was trying so hard to avoid even holding the guitar bc he knew it would make him want to start playing again...it makes me so sad that he has to suppress this part of himself and keep saying he’s quit (when he clearly LOVES playing the guitar) bc his mum doesn’t want him playing it :( but he played the song he was writing for pat bc pat asked him too and he really just loves him that much ;;;

i love how pat’s been encouraging pran's guitar playing since high school too bc he knows it’s something that truly makes pran happy (and brought them together).

idk this scene is just so BEAUTIFUL. pran singing the love song he wrote specifically for pat directly to him...pat getting to listen to the love of his life serenade him with a song meant only for him...and all of this happening in their old school, on the stage where they were initially torn apart. the softness and love in the expressions of their face as they gaze at one another. now this...THIS is romance. this is love in its purest form. they had bad memories the last time they saw each other at this school, but now they get to create a new memory. a good one.

i’m gonna need gmmtv to drop the full version of this song asap, but i don’t think it’ll happen until we see pran perform it in full on the show (prob in ep 12)...

that flashback of pat running after pran to give him his guitar only for it to be too late...and then he kept his guitar for YEARS on the off chance he’d be able to give it back to him 😭 and, in the end, he DID. i will never not be choked up about this.

it’s interesting to me that their teacher knew so much more about pat’s dad than she did about pran’s mum. i wonder if he had more sway bc of his status (since she mentioned that he was head of the class and basically participated in every school event), and that’s why he was more easily believed when he said that pran’s mum didn’t want the scholarship...

absolutely LOVE the noodle shop scene with pat and paa. it’s so sweet?? the fact that they fight one another on who gets to talk first instead of the usual “you go first” is SUCH sibling behaviour. and pat always gives in to his little sister :’)

you can tell that paa is more nervous about telling pat that it’s ink that she likes than that it’s a girl (which makes sense since pat likes a boy, so of course he would be accepting of paa liking a girl). the way they're constantly confiding in one another is so lovely to see. i don’t think i’ve seen that many sibling relationships in media that are this open and supportive (and it reminds me a lot of my own relationship with my brother, so their scenes always have a special place in my heart).

it’s nice that paa checked in with pat first to make sure he was okay with her liking ink (since pat liked her originally). even though pat’s feelings for ink never ran that deep, i still think it was a really respectful thing to do. i love that he was the first person she told too. this show gives us some of the best, healthiest relationships (barring their parents).

paa is legit sooooooooo adorable. the complete heart eyes she has for ink now????? she looks at her with so much adoration. like she’s just glowing in ink’s presence and it’s actually the cutest thing in the whole world.

THE DARK ROOM SCENE OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want this scene tattooed onto the backs of my eyelids so i can watch it forever. i love everything about it.

paa not being able to take her eyes away from ink, and then looking on the verge of tears the entire time she thought ink was only being nice to her bc she was her peer mentor (i cannot praise love enough for her acting in this scene!! she just about broke my heart with how sad paa was).

“i like it so much that i thought i was special to you” and “it’s my fault to think of you as more than just a peer mentor” i knew that ink would step up, but even still, I WAS ABOUT TO CRY. i don’t ever want to see paa sad :((((((((((

what i love so much about pat and paa is that they’re both so honest in everything they say and do. when they feel something for someone, they can’t keep it in. they need to act upon it, or say it out loud, immediately. that gene is so strong in the both of them (and they didn’t get it from their dad, that’s for sure...).

when ink said that she had to fight the whole faculty in order to get paa as her peer mentee, my heart LEAPED. also, seeing how she shoos every boy in her path (esp wai) away, i 100000% believe her. idk how anyone would have the guts to fight ink 😂 AND THEN CONFESSING THAT SHE’S LIKED HER SINCE HIGH SCHOOL (even back before paa had her uni ‘glow up’). the first time i watched this, i could barely believe it was happening. like i thought they were happening from the get go bc of all the hints, but to have it actually confirmed fr is an entirely different feeling than just knowing but not being completely certain.

“Someone with the smiles I want to keep to myself only”. i would crumble into a million pieces if anyone confessed to me irl like this. it is legit my ideal confession. a relationship literally developing in a dark room with the perfect amount of cute and heartfelt. and then ink cupping paa’s face in her hands, the kisses, holding her hand. it has EVERYTHING. bless this show for giving us the GL we deserve (now we just need a full series...where’s the inkpaa spin off pls).

i get so giddy every time i even just think about this scene, okay. i love it to pieces :’)

pat and pran finally getting to go on their hot pot date in public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pran constantly saying that he’s not going to play guitar anymore, but still getting it serviced anyway as if we don’t all know that he’s going to finish writing that song for pat!!

not pat and his “call my big bro” kink i- 😭

the ‘proposal’ scene...and now the talk about rings is giving me some big engagement/marriage vibes. why do i get the feeling they’ll either be engaged or married by the end of this drama. calling it now for ep 12!!

but first, the fall out :(((((((((

the whole last 16 mins of this ep was just heartbreak after heartbreak. they buttered us up with the fluff, and then everything came crashing down like we always knew it was going to, but it honestly still hurt me so much more than i was anticipating.

this was the worst place for them to be found out by pat’s parents. in public like this, and then for pat’s dad to lose all reason, charge at him, and immediately get physical like that in front of everyone????? imagine what he’d be like in private then... :///

what gets me is that pran...pran who HATES confrontation, who avoids it like the plague (like he did in the beginning of this ep, or after their first kiss), still stepped between them the second he saw pat’s dad push him. even when, in every scene we’ve seen them interact, he appears to be afraid of pat’s dad (and understandably so). he still put that fear aside and tried to protect pat the moment he saw that pat could get hurt...only for HIM to be the one flung to the ground by pat’s dad instead. and then pat immediately dropping to check if he was alright the moment he saw what his dad did :(

up until then, pat was trying to keep the peace...i don’t think he would have said anything more to his parents, but he got angry (and impulsive) as soon as his dad hurt pran...bc if there’s one thing he can’t stand, it’s when pran’s hurt in any way. and even in that anger, you can still see how scared he is to tell his parents that pran is his boyfriend. but it’s been bubbling up for so long that it all had to come out at some point, and in that moment through the anger and the hurt, i don’t think pat saw any other choice.

you can really see how terrified pat’s dad is as soon as pat brings up that he knows about the history between him and pran’s mum. you know he’s buried this secret of his deep, deep down somewhere and done everything in his power to make sure it never saw the light of day again.

god, and then pran feeling so overwhelmed by everything that’s happened...he’s been rejected in words by pat’s dad before (when he was hiding under the bed in ep 2), and now he’s been physically pushed to the ground by him. the unexpected confrontation pushing him over the edge and making him lash out at pat bc it’s all just too much :( and then the look on his face when pat listens to his request and walks away to talk to his dad...like he immediately feels bad for it. and like he’s absolutely devastated and terrified about what this might mean for them. about the possibility of pat being wrenched away from him once again.

honestly, bless chai. i really love how supportive he is of the both of them, the only adult that’s acting like an adult rn. how he offers to stay with pran when he confronts his mum is just really lovely of him.

pran hiding his guitar from his mum before he enters the house like he’s trying to hide away his feelings ;;; i’m certain he would have kept his relationship with pat hidden too if it hadn’t been for his mum pressing him so hard about what was going on between the two of them.

but just like pat in the scene before, and maybe that’s where he got the courage to say it out loud too, he admits the truth about their relationship to his mother. like i said before, pran tends to avoid confrontations at all costs, but the constant suppression has made him a ticking time bomb. when he confronts his mum, it hurts bc everything he’s telling her has been building up inside of him for years and years at this point. all the emotional trauma. all the pain. he’s pushed so much of it down for so long that it was only a matter of time before he erupted.

i’m so glad that pran called his mum out on the way she pushed all these expectations on him and how it wasn’t his job to upkeep her reputation for her. all of these parents not being able to accept that their children are individuals with their own thoughts and feelings. it’s so awful.

“because you raised me this way, that’s why i’m not like other kids” damn. that line is so powerful. not that she doesn’t deserve it bc of everything pran’s had to go through as a child till now, but it would absolutely kill me inside if i was a mother and heard my own child say that to me and mean it.

it in no way excuses the slap, but the heightened emotions are so real. and at least it looked like she regretted what she did straight after it.

the resentment and hurt on pran’s face though...the look in his eyes...i. am. distraught (both nanon and p’ple are so incredible).

as soon as she started marching over to pat’s place i knew shit was going to go DOWN, and this whole sequence of events was just so intense and emotionally draining...it was a lot to take in.

(i’m gonna use their parents names interchangeably here bc i find it easier this way).

so one of the things that i was always worried about with this series was that they weren’t going to make the family rift deep enough to justify why both the families despised each other so much (and kept trying to make their children compete/keep them apart). if it had been just a lover’s quarrel, i wouldn’t have been sold tbh. esp after sooooooo many years, and with the two having already married different people. but STEALING A SCHOLARSHIP?? now THIS is a good reason to me.

speaking from personal experience in my own family, my parents grew up in south east asia, and they grew up poor. bc of this, my mum was never able to go to university. my dad, as the only boy in his family, was. i can only IMAGINE how much a scholarship would have meant to a girl who wasn’t well off, living in thailand in the 90s. it would have changed EVERYTHING for her. like dissaya says, it was literally her whole future. by taking away her chance at this scholarship, ming stole her future and any opportunities that she could have had away from her. i would be LIVID. honestly, livid doesn’t even cover it.

this confrontation should have happened a long time ago, but the fact that she kept all of these feelings festering inside of her for over 20 years just proves to me that she really is pran’s mother.

no matter what dissaya has gone through, this will never excuse how pran’s been treated, but i can’t help but empathise with her at the same time. at least now i can understand why she has so much hatred for pat’s dad (and family by association). now i can understand why she freaked out and immediately made pran transfer schools the moment she realised that pat and pran had become close. she was projecting all the trauma she’d experienced from ming onto pat, and she was afraid that pat would do the same thing to her son.

it was fine before bc if they were always fighting/rivals, it meant that pat and pran would never be close enough for pat to jeopardise pran’s future. but if they became friends?? it hits much too close for comfort for her.

and the thing with pran is that he internalises his feelings so much that i don’t think dissaya ever realised just how much of an impact pressuring him, imprinting this mindset on him, and transferring him to another school (and taking him away from his only sources of happiness: his guitar and pat) really had on him. she prob never truly realised until pran finally told her how he felt during their argument.

but she did. she made him inherit all the anger and resentment she felt towards ming...she fostered the environment that gave him all this emotional trauma, manifesting in his need to keep things to himself, shut down instead of confronting things head on, and his need for control (his OCD tendencies). i’ve also mentioned this before, but pran is constantly being punished every time he allows himself to be happy/expresses himself (from having to transfer schools, to being pushed to the ground, to being slapped). it’s only natural for him to  continue to shut himself down and lock away his feelings from his friends and family. to keep everyone away except pat bc pat is the only one who lets him feel what he feels, and never pressures him into anything else.

idk i’m just heartbroken for both of them for different reasons. dissaya didn’t deserve what happened to her, but pran didn’t deserve all the expectations placed upon him bc of what she experienced. it’s generational trauma.

and don’t even let me get started on MING. so ming really was the bad buddy all along, huh.

i understand how difficult it can be growing up in an asian household where you’re constantly pressured by your parents, i KNOW it’s not easy to live up to parental expectations, but what he did was despicable. and to then place all that same pressure on your own son when you’ve experienced it all before?? this is obviously pretty common...that’s how cycles of abuse and trauma get passed down, but it’s just so vile to me that he made pat compete with pran (hate him) knowing FULL WELL that he was in the wrong. and it’s something that he can barely admit it to himself, let alone apologise for what he did.

it’s honestly amazing to me how caring and balanced his children grew up to be despite how selfish he is. hie ego was too big for him to even apologise, and instead he made everything so much worse. dissaya must have been seething this whole time. ming making his son compete against her son after everything that he did to her...like i don’t condone how she responded to it, but i can see why, clouded by her anger, she’d make pran compete against pat too to spite him. their children were just soldiers in the war that their parents were fighting.

and to take a scholarship that he didn’t even need from someone that actually NEEDED it, not use it, and then just end up running the family business instead?? it really makes it so much worse. like rubbing salt in the wound. fuck this guy.

you can see that there was some level of guilt that he felt (thinking that giving chai up and letting them run a business to compete with his would somehow make them even??), but it’s just so misguided. and so buried under his own pride and need to save face. no wonder ming wants to live vicariously through pat so badly...it feel like some sort of clean slate for him. and it makes the hypocrisy of him constantly being on pat’s case about lying make a lot more sense. it’s like he’s overcompensating bc he knows that HE’S the one that told the biggest lie of all. bc underneath it all, he knows that he’s the one in the wrong, but he just can’t admit it.

other than the rooftop hug, the scene where pat asks his father whether the reason he had to hate pran all this time was bc of him, hit me SO damn hard. remember at the beginning of the ep when pat was feeling so positive that their parents might be able to get over their feud?? compare how he was in that scene to how he is in this one. he’s devastated. it hurts so much bc, although pat’s an emotionally expressive person, we rarely see him cry like this. but his wavering voice, the way you can see his tears literally welling up, the utter disappointment on his face. you can pinpoint the exact moment when his heart breaks bc his father, someone he’s respected and looked up to his whole life, isn’t the person he thought he was at all. it’s the complete disillusionment (ohm tore my heart to shreds in this...everyone acted so well).

it keeps making me cry bc pat’s felt guilty this WHOLE time. for not thanking pran properly when he saved paa, for getting him transferred, and now, worst of all, for his father being the root cause of the whole rift in the first place. none of this is his fault, of course, but it’s like the guilt keeps following him around bc of the actions of their parents. it was one of the reasons he kept trying to make amends with pran in the first place, but they keep getting caught up in the mess created by their families.

and then to have his mum defend his dad after all that?? hell no. these boys deserve so much better.

finally, rooftop scene. what even needs to be said about this. i didn’t think anything could match the emotions of ep 5′s rooftop scene, but this scene is SPECTACULAR. heart wrenching in the best way. the first time i watched this, i didn’t even cry bc i was just feeling too many things at once, but every single time i’ve watched this since, i’ve bawled my eyes out. i think when you get to sit with the emotions more, it hits so much deeper.

the rooftop is truly their special place. they’re always meeting up here during a turning point in their relationship.

i love the parallels with the ep 5 rooftop kiss. the charged emotions, the intimacy...but i love the differences between both these scenes now that their relationship has changed and developed so much. instead of pran walling his emotions up again and walking away like he did in ep 5, this time he lets it all out. lets pat see him at his most vulnerable, and leans on him for support instead bc he knows pat will always be there to catch him. pat’s his safe space.

the hug is so incredibly beautiful and meaningful. when pat first sees him, he looks at pran with such love and care...such openness and surety, and the only thing pran can do is crumble and cry into the arms of the person he feels safest with. poor boy is so incredibly drained. i love that pran hugs pat like he’s his lifeline, latches onto him and locks him in place, but pat hugs him like he knows he needs to be his pillar rn. the reassurance and the comfort of pat stroking pran’s hair, holding him close, and making sure that pran knows that he’s there for him ;;; even when pran pulls away from him, he’s still got a hand on the back of his neck. it’s clearly tearing pat up inside too, but he only cries when pran can’t see his face bc he knows that pran needs to be consoled the most in this moment, and he has to stay strong and support him as best he can. he needs to be the anchor.

pran’s “i can’t take it anymore” is so devastating bc you know that pran would only admit it out loud like this if he was at the end of his tether. it’s taken such a toll on him (the both of them), and i’m so glad that they’ll be getting away from the toxicity of their environment again in the next ep bc they NEED it.

not to mention, it makes sense that they would go back to the first place they ever felt like they could exist together in peace. no external conflict for them to worry about, and nothing there trying to tear them apart. it’s only a temporary reprieve, but it’s a reprieve all the same.

anyway, i always find it interesting that their parents’ feud is what has constantly pulled them into each other’s orbits. at first bc they were forced to compete against one another, but now it’s bc they have no one else left but one other to rely on. their parents have made it so no one else has the same shared experiences as the both of them do, unintentionally tying them together, and all it’s done is made their bond and love for each other stronger than ever. it’s the thing that unites them against all odds, but instead of being pushed together by circumstances like all the times before, this time they’re CHOOSING one another over the war between their parents, finding the comfort and solace they so desperately crave in each other’s arms.

they gave us a bit of everything in this ep. from the highs of the stairway confession and inkpaa in the dark room, to the lows of everything exploding the moment their parents found out about them and the rooftop hug...this ep was SO jam packed.

i don’t think any drama has ever taken me on such an intense emotional rollercoaster of a ride for so long before, but i’m grateful for every second of it. i’m so grateful for this revolving door of every emotion in existence bc nothing has ever made me feel the way that bad buddy does.

only two eps left and i can’t wait for the next one bc i genuinely have NO IDEA how things are going to pan out for them (though i’m certain that we’ll get the happy ending we’re all rooting for, i just don’t know how we’ll get there).

i’m really going to be so lost when i don’t have this drama to look forward to every friday. the thought of it makes me so sad, but at the same time, i’m already counting down the days until i can rewatch it from beginning to end again.