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hii! could you please do a klaus x stefan x reader smut.
(klaus and reader are in a relationship.) klaus dares her to suck stefan off whilst sat on his lap. Klaus feels her getting wet as she sucks stefan off and says something like “that’s it love, cover my fingers in your cum”
could you also please include degrading pet names and klaus getting possessive like “does he taste as good as I do love?”
then he fucks reader out of jealousy/possessiveness and makes her and stefan hold eye contact.
I totally understand if you’re not comfortable doing this!! thank youu 🤍
Indulgences
I had been with Klaus for a couple of years now. He made me feel safe despite knowing how dangerous he was.
Klaus had his ups and downs of course but who didn't? I still loved him.
Even when he proposed ideas of threesomes sometimes and I'd have to watch as he made love to another woman, although he always insisted it wasn't love making and it never meant anything.
I didn't always like having to share him but it made him happy so I did.
Sometimes I could tell right away when he saw a woman that he'd want us to be with later. He always made sure to pay me attention too during the sessions but it wasn't the same as when it was just us.
Sometimes I would pull away and he'd send the other girl home. He would pull me back to him and kiss my face.
"I'm sorry sweetheart." Klaus would whisper, his fingers in my hair. "It wasn't a good time and I should have recognised that." He would murmur. "I'll make it up to you, my love."
And he always would.
That was his only fault really, that he indulged a little too much. But it could have been a lot worse.
When we got to Mystic Falls I got to stay in my own hotel whilst he did his supernatural business but he made sure to come over in the evenings to have dinner with me and spend some time.
It was hard when he turned into a wolf for a couple days, we hadn't really been apart since we'd gotten together but when he messaged me to come over to an address I knew something was happening.
When I got there I could already tell something was different about him as he wrapped his arms around my hips and pulled me in for a kiss. His eyes were gold when I looked up at them before they faded back to blue. Just after that the sound of heaving pulled my attention to the man on the floor, face dripping with blood.
Klaus pet my back as he kissed my ear. "Stefan's coming with us to find our wolves." He murmured and I nodded.
"Okay." I whispered and nodded and he smiled.
"We'll buy you some new clothes on the way, do you want to go get in the car?" He asked but it was demand disguised.
"Should I sit in the back?" I asked but he shook his head.
"No love, you stay beside me; always." He murmured and kissed my lips firmly before guiding me to the door.
Throughout the trip I was nice to Stefan and in return he was nice to me. Sometimes I would think that if I ever got to choose who we had a threesome with that it would be Stefan.
He was kind of like Klaus; sometimes he looked scary but he had a gentleness to him and he felt safe too. I wondered if he was like Klaus in bed too, if he needed to have threesomes with his girl.
Sometimes I thought about him when Klaus slid between my legs on top of the hotel bed. I wondered if Stefan could hear us through the walls. I wondered what he thought.
I'd look over at him when we were just standing around, waiting for Klaus to come out and sent Stefan in. Stefan would look back at me, smile a little and sometimes if we were stood close enough his hand would touch mine before Klaus could see.
But I didn't not love Klaus. I definitely did.
And I enjoyed being with him, feeling him hold me and touch me. He would ask me what was wrong and he would wake up early to get me some breakfast. Every now and then he would ask if he could drink from me which was something we only really did during passionate sex on special occasions but I think he could sense something off on the trip.
I must've been staring too long, Klaus picked up on it and he had dragged me up the hotel stairs.
"Do you like him, love? You like how Stefan looks?" He sneered, hands gripping my arms as he held me against the wall. "You want to feel him, don't you? Taste him, fuck him." He growled and I looked down, feeling guilty.
His breathing was heavy as a silence hung over us. I sniffed a bit and he sighed, his hold loosening before he caressed my arms and pulled me in for a hug.
"I'm sorry." I whimpered and he nuzzled my hair.
"I can't be angry with you sweetheart. You're perfect for me and you've done this for me so many times." He murmured.
"Done what?" I whispered and he cupped my face, tilting my head up to look at him.
"Indulged." He muttered, eyes dark as he kissed my lips. "I have no doubt Stefan won't be interested sweetheart, I know he looks at you too. I just wasn't sure it was mutual."
"We don't have to." I mumbled and shook my head. "I don't even want to, I don't like sharing." I pulled away and he guided me back to him.
"You don't have to do any sharing this time, my love. I'll learn to share this time." He told me with a kiss to the side of my head and as much as the idea had an appeal, I didn't really want anybody like I wanted Klaus.
"I only like you inside me." I whispered, remembering the only other time we had been with a man instead of a woman and he had had me whilst Klaus watched. It didn't feel right, not like Klaus did.
"Then you can just do as much as you'd like. Maybe you just want a touch or a tase? Allow me to give you this sweetheart. I want this for you." Klaus convinced and I considered it.
We didn't talk about it again, but I'd wondered if Klaus mentioned it to Stefan. The vampire had been eyeing me much more, his touch lingering whenever he got the chance and it was making my body crazy.
When we got to Chicago and Klaus woke up his sister Rebekah, I felt jealous. She and Stefan looked at each other with nothing but desire. I didn't want to share.
So once we got to the hotel and Rebekah went into her room, I went into Stefan's.
He was already grinning when I stepped inside and his hands gripped my waist. "I knew you wouldn't be able to keep ignoring me." He whispered, his forehead against mine.
I was down on the hotel bed in a second and everything felt right, except for one thing. "Klaus." I whined, my body sitting up but Stefan pushed me back down.
"He's on his way." He murmured and kissed my lips, It felt so good. I had to wonder if it felt that good when Klaus got to do that with other girls.
For a brief second, I forgot about Klaus and just focused on Stefan. The coldness of his hands, the taste of his tongue.
But Klaus made sure I wouldn't truly forget him.
I was lifted away from Stefan after a few moments and Klaus's warmth swallowed me.
"Tsk, my love." He scolded but his eyes and tone held no malice as he kissed my cheek. "Shouldn't be starting without me."
"I'm sorry." I mumbled but I wasn't, he had started without me before.
The buttons were picked undone one by one until my body was bare in Klaus's lap. "Look at Stefan, sweetheart." He murmured, his hand turning my head so I was looking at Stefan's naked body. He was leant back against the headboard and pillows, body on display and knowing smile on his face. My eyes drifted down to his cock, hard and waiting for me like Klaus's always was. "Good girl, go ahead." Klaus whispered, hands smoothing my body.
I could feel the nerves building as I crawled forward, Stefan's hands were immediately in my hair and guiding me down. I kissed softly from his base to the tip, listening to his breathing hitch and feeling Klaus grip my hips with tension.
He felt different against my tongue, I traced along the most prominent veins and up to the head, tucking lightly and listening to him groan.
"Mmm, just like that-" Stefan groaned and Klaus chuckled.
"Hear that, love? Stefan loves what a good cocksucker you are." He breathed into my ear and I whimpered with my lips still stretched around Stefan.
My head was pushed and pulled up and down, my throat relaxing to feel every inch of his shaft pump between the muscle. My eyes were half closed, Stefan's groaning face above me now blur.
My mind was a haze as my tongue rubbed at his skin swallowed every hint of a taste of his impending release.
Just as I sucked off the few beads of pre cum form his tip, two fingers slid through my folds making my body arch on instinct.
I went to lift my head, to look but a firm palm pushed me down. "Don't you dare." Klaus's voice growled from behind me. "We both know you want to feel him cum down that pretty throat of yours so keep going." He ordered as fingers pushed inside my cunt making me whimper and squirm in his lap.
I swallowed around Stefan's cock again, trying to reduce the amount I was salivating around him.
Klaus's fingers curled inside me, stroking me from the inside and making me clench around him.
Stefan's hands stroked me head, urging me to keep going.
Everything was so overwhelming, my body was already full of need just from the thought of any of this happening let alone it actually occurring.
They both felt so good, I could taste Stefan ready to cum and feel my cunt in a similar state.
Klaus could feel it too.
"Already about to cum on my fingers, love?" He purred, his lips behind my ear making shivers slip down my spine. "Go on, sweetheart. Show Stefan what a slutty pussy you have. Cum on my fingers." He commanded, his voice low and dark as both fingers moved withs supernatural speed.
My body rocked with his hand as Stefan's taste burst against my tongue and throat and his cry of relief broke through the tension of the air. I could feel myself shaking as I let go around Klaus's hand and swallowed Stefan's cum away, sucking the head for the last bit to come out.
My lips slipped off him, my cheek resting against his bare thigh as I panted and felt Klaus's fingers slowly circle my clit.
Klaus wrapped his arms around my midsection, pulling me back against his clothed chest. "That's my girl." He murmured, kissing my ear softly. "But that's enough. You're mine." He whispered, carrying me out of the hotel room, leaving Stefan a mess and bringing me up to the suite.
I was laid back down on my side, his body holding my down like usual. "I hated every second of that." He muttered, "Feeling how soaked you got from using that tongue on someone else." I whimpered in response and looked up at him as he shoved his belt off and tore the zipper straight off my jeans, letting his cock spring free.
I let out a cry when he pushed inside me in one fast thrust, a groan leaving him. "Klaus-" I gasped and he leant down to swallow my words. Our tongue tangled together before pulled away with a grunt and rocked his hips quickly.
"Tell me I taste better." He growled and I moaned.
"You do..." I whispered and he let out a puff of air.
"Say it."
"You taste better, better than Stefan- ah!" I cried out as he thrust particularly hard.
His hand was around my throat, keeping me down and at his mercy as his body moved in a frenzy against mine
I could feel his lack of control compared to usual, he was angry. It made him faster, his cockhead smacking into my spot repeatedly, so much so that It just felt as if he were rubbing right against it.
My pussy was weeping around him, wetting my thighs and the sheets below as I whimpered and moaned his name weakly.
His body collapsed into mine, his arms clinging to me tight as he nuzzled my throat and sucked a dark mark into the skin. His fangs pierced the skin but it didn't hurt much anymore.
We were rolled so I was on top of him, his cock still half hard and held between my walls.
"I love you." He murmured. "And I love all you do for me." In response I just tucked my head under his chin and let his hands guide my legs either side of his hips. "You're mine." He whispered and I smiled because I knew it.
#threes0me#stefan salvatore#stefan salvatore x reader#stefan salvatore smut#the originals#the vampire diaries#klaus mikaelson#klaus mikaelson x reader#klaus mikealson fanfiction#klaus mikaelson one shot#klaus mikaleson imagine#elijah mikaelson#rebekah mikaelson#the vampire diares imagine#kol mikaelson#niklaus imagines#tvd klaus#niklaus mikaelson#klaus m#klaus mikaelson x y/n#klaus michaelson#tvd universe#hope mikaelson#klaus mikaelson headcanon#klaus mikaelson fluff#klaus mikaelson yandere#klaus mikealson smut#klaus mikaelson x yn#klaus mikealson x reader
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Crib Construction
Cassian x Reader
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Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)
Fandom: ACOTAR
Summary: Cassian and his mate have been tasked with putting together Nyx's crib. Unfortunately, it's a harder task than they thought it would be.
Word Count: 1,282
Category: Fluff, Humor
Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.
"Cass, come here. Does this look right?"
My boyfriend didn't waste a second before joining me on the floor, kneeling behind me and looking over my shoulder. Neither of us spoke for a minute, then I heard a rustling of paper as Cassian sighed.
"Yeah, it looks right. That hasn't stopped it from being wrong before, though."
"Well, let's just hope for the best."
I could feel through the mating bond just how little Cassian wanted to do that, but he knew as well as I did that we didn't have much other choice. I took a deep breath, then gently pressed the two pieces of wood before me together, trying to get them to link like they were supposed to.
Of course, it didn't work. I added slightly more pressure, but still nothing. I put my entire weight and all of my strength into it, and when the damn thing still didn't budge, I let out a scream and shoved both pieces away from me before I could really lose my temper and accidentally break something.
"This is bullshit!" I shouted, whirling around to face Cassian. He had a look of grim resignation, meeting my eyes with sympathy. Our positions had been exactly reversed about ten minutes ago. "Rhys set this up as a way to get back at you for winning the snowball fight last time, and I'm getting caught in the collateral. This sucks."
"Honestly, maybe he did," Cass said, sighing and leaning back on his hands. "Or maybe Az did something to break this one too before he got kicked off the job."
I groaned, flopping over and into Cassian's side to lay against his chest and stare at the ridiculous contraption that had been defeating us all afternoon. Rhys and Feyre had asked us to assemble Nyx's crib, and at first, we'd been honored and happy to help. But hours later, when nothing was going right and none of the pieces were fitting together the way they were supposed to, I was about ready to throw all of it out the window and into the Sidra below.
We'd been given the task in the first place because Az had shattered the same type of crib to pieces after spending a day being stumped by the puzzle. Cassian and I had inherited the task for our ability to keep each other calm, and because we were generally less destructive when continually frustrated by a puzzle. This crib was about to ruin that reputation.
"Okay, maybe we should just start over from the beginning," I said, sitting up and turning to face Cassian after our brief rest. "Like, take everything apart and lay it all out on the floor again, then start back from step one."
Cassian groaned. "Honestly, I hate that idea. But what we're already doing clearing isn't working, so..."
"So let's try it. Deep breaths, and then a total reset. A fresh start."
"...Alright. Let's do it."
With a lot of heavy sighing, Cassian and I took apart what little progress we'd made, separating the crib back into its individual parts, the way it had come. Once we got it all laid out again, I took the instruction manual from Cass and laid that out in front of us, too. With one last deep breath, we started in again at step one on page one.
I wish I could say this attempt went better. But it didn't. Cassian and I almost destroyed the whole thing Az-style in a fit of frustration three times each, one of us barely managing to pull the other back every time. We were just lucky our destructive streaks never lined up, or the pieces of the crib before us would've already become nothing more than a pile of ash.
"Alright, that's it!" Cass finally shouted, standing up abruptly from where we'd been trying to wrestle together the corners of the crib with no luck, despite using both our strength at once. "I'll be right back."
"What?" I flung my arms out to either side of me as Cassian headed for the door. "You're abandoning me? Seriously?"
"Not abandoning! Changing tactics."
Before I could ask for clarification, Cassian was out the door. I stared after him, waiting for him to reappear or say he was kidding or something, but he didn't. I huffed, then shook my head and turned back to the crib, its pieces still mostly laid out on the floor.
I sat there and stared at the pieces for a few long beats, contemplating my next move. Honestly, I'd just about decided to throw them out the window and tell Rhys the thing'd never been here when the door came swinging open again.
I turned to find Cassian striding towards me, the confidence and determination back in his step. I raised an eyebrow at him, but he just grinned.
"I've solved all our problems."
I snorted, but smiled at Cassian all the same as he came to a stop before me. The fact that he'd managed to make me laugh at all in the middle of this nonsense was exactly why we were mates, and it made me love him even more.
"Cass, you know I love you, and you know I trust you, but... I'm having a hard time seeing how that could possibly be true. Unless you convinced Mor to take over for us...?"
"No, but just as good." I raised an eyebrow, and Cassian's grin widened as he dropped down next to me. Slowly, from behind his back, he pulled out a hammer, tape, and a few other supplies.
I just stared at everything for a moment, then snorted and leanded into Cassian. I closed my eyes and shook my head.
"Babe... we can't use that stuff to put this crib together."
"Why not?"
"Because it won't be sturdy enough! We don't want it to give out while the baby's in it. We both know we can't risk that."
Cassian hummed, rocking forward just enough to get a few of the pieces of the crib into his hands. He lined them up like we'd been doing all day, then raised the hammer in his other hand.
"Maybe you're right about the tape," he said. "But all we need to fix this is a little extra power. We can't force it together with our strength alone, so we'll use a hammer."
"Cass-"
Before I could get another word out, Cassian swung the hammer. I could see him putting his full Illyrian strength into it, and sure enough, the pieces whacked together. Unfortunately for us, they also splintered into more pieces than would be fixable, even with tape.
Cassian and I just stared at the wreckage for a moment, neither of us speaking. Cassian was the one to break first.
"Shit."
I laughed, all the stress and ridiculousness of the past few hours disappearing along with our hopes of actually succeeding at our task. I leaned into Cassian, and a moment later, he joined me.
"Well, that didn't go like I was hoping," sighed Cassian. I laughed again.
"Really? That's not what you were going for?"
"Not quite."
We shared a smile, then slumped back together, Cassian's arm around my waist as I leaned into his chest. I sighed, staring at the ruins of the crib before us. Not a single part of me wanted to do something about fixing it.
"So... how about we call Mor and find a way to pass this on to her?"
I laughed, then nodded as I leaned even further into Cassian.
"Baby, I was thinking the same thing. You, me, and Az have had to tear our hair out over this thing already, I think it's her turn."
"And even better, if any of us has to call Amren in, it'll be Mor."
"Exactly."
****************
Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen @misshale21
Maasverse Taglist: @lilah-asteria
#sophie's year of fic#a court of thorns and roses#cassian#cassian x reader#acotar x reader#a court of thorns and roses fanfiction#a court of thorns and roses x reader#a court of thorns and roses oneshot#a court of thorns and roses imagine#acotar fanfiction#acotar imagine#acotar oneshot#cassian oneshot#cassian fanfiction#cassian imagine#inner circle#night court#velaris#rhysand#feyre
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Viktor is under some kind of influence, but at first glance it's hard to tell the exact nature of it.
But I believe its more simple than one would think.
The core is basically jingling keys in front of him and telling him to look at them.
But I believe its more simple than one would think.
The core is basically jingling keys in front of him and telling him to look at them.
Firstly, why is the sky hallucination sus? could it just be his own mind?
Her guiding him to her book and later showing up next to the shimmer addict could be explained as just his conscious.
However, he also woke up to her screams and it was her voice that guided him to the addicts, both things go beyond what could manifest only from his own perception of things.
Not only that, this is the exact place where he later cocoons himself again. So it's no accident he ended up here.
It's also good to note how Viktors saw her differently then how she was, he sees him as a more idolised version of herself, which is als a good indication that she is not real.
But then in act 2 she appeals completely harmless, she doesn't push him into anything, and it looks like she offers some sense of emotional support.
And that's the point, it's feeding into viktors weaknesses as a person, all it needs to do, is give him the illusion of company, and keep him in his head.
Viktor was always a loner, but he also seeked out second opinions and he was in fact very lonely and wished for company.
This is exactly what the core is giving him the illusion of. A second opinion and company.
By herself “sky” does not offer any new information to viktor, she is either stathing things he is already aware of, things viktor thinks she would say, or reassures him.
“She liked me, she would be concerned about me!”
“I remember telling her that once!”
“She was caring, she would be upset at someone's death!”
In fact, it might even try to distract him from the important things, we don't see a lot of it, but the moment Viktor starts to wonder what's up with Jayce, she attempts to move his thoughts elsewhere from thinking about what is wrong with him.
Viktors perception of the world is fundamentally changed, this is already pretty isolating but now he has a mind buddy! He's Not alone anymore, there's someone who talks to him, who cares about him, who he can share ideas with,
someone who loves him.
I'm going to concede, I do think their relationship has a romantic undertone, if for nothing else it's because viktors perception of sky is pretty heavily defined by her love letters to him.
Regardless of your reading (how much do you think he reciprocates that), it is giving him the company he wished for.
Why is that bad?
It's because it keeps him docile, and so far up his own 4ss that he doesn't realise how messed up what he is actually doing is. He is stuck with his own regurgitated thoughts.
The only thing he ever gets is reassurance that what he is doing is in fact good, he doesn't have an outside perspective on what's happening with him or around him.
He doesn't have the head space to self reflect cuz something always chimes in, always keeps him thinking, solving problems, solving puzzles.
We never once saw him actively trying to talk to any of his followers, the only people who he does are not affected by him, and come to him directly, he didn't even bother seeking out Jayce himself.
The only way he communicates with them is when he wants to do his creepy puppet thing and if the only thing left in his followers head is gratitude towards him and he never examines what it did to them as people, no wonder he doesn't notice a thing.
He just unquestionably spreads the core's influence.
No wonder the first awful idea anyone gave him in who knows how long that isn't his own stuck with him.
He always had a tendency to get sucked into his work and dont bother with people (ironically that is one of the reasons sky got dusted) and don't bother with anything else, and now the conditions are orchestrated for this to basically keep him in his own head.
He doesn't really care about his followers either, he watched one of them get smashed and didn't give a damn.
He doesn't care for them as people, they are more akin to problems he can solve and move on. He was barely even bothered about Jayce's condition, probably assuming he will come to him and he can fix him right away.
We can see this in his visions of how he conceptualizes himself, he looks very human, and yet he got these unsettling yellow eyes. He is blind to the ways he changed, just look at how he acts in them.
At first glance he appears a lot more emotive and it also tells us that he is fairly enjoying himself and his new perception of the world but also the main thing we see of him is his endless curiosity about things, not his empathy towards them.
He is well meaning of course, but he doesn't/cant reflect enough to see what he is really doing. Namely taking away the things he saw in these people, their dreams.
And he constantly has problems to solve, we saw how many people went to him, he always has something to think about, and he always has someone to talk to about it without needing to waste precious time on seeking out a second opinion.
In s1 he barely reacted to the beginning of a civil war going around him, now people depend on him and in the middle of a civil war he doesn't have any way of protecting these people.
He barely gives a damn about him slowly deteriorating. He doesn't live in reality anymore. He cannot see the forest for the trees. (though he might have had some plans we don't know of, since Salo was gathering materials for him.)
And his guilt just amplifies this.
From s1 one of his strongest traits was how much he believed if he gets the right tools, and the opportunity, he can help people.
“Do you think my life ambition is to be an assistant?”
“If you are going to change the world don't ask for permission.”
“All I did was believe in myself.”
This is what skys death puts into question.
This is why he almost jumped afterwards, this fundamental belief in himself was put into question. He got the chance to do what he wanted and someone died.
This is where his guilt comes into play, he isn't making his own dream a reality, we saw that what he really wanted is to give people tools that they can use to create, but that's not what he is doing.
He is doing what he believes Skye's dream was.
It doesn't even look like he invents things anymore, he just mostly uses his powers and studies botanics. (tho we saw Salo steal some stuff for him so he might have some plans that we don't know yet?)
This is even the context he brought her up to jayce: she had such dreams.
From her notes we can assume she hoped to help make a zaun that is cleaner and more connected to nature.
This is the reason why he is so receptive to skyes positive affirmation, its because in his head he is correcting his wrong, her affirmation and forgiveness gave him back the belief that he can still do good.
Now he has the right tools and the opportunity to do it, so he won't fail again.
He is literally wearing her symbol on his clothes.
He is doing this out of some kind of repentance for his sins.
So the way he sees it: he is helping these people, who on they own free will just happen to stay here cuz its nice and he conveniently can puppet them if needed, he doesn't question that cuz he never bothers to talk to them and skys happy and she talks to him so why bother when no one sees the world like he does.
What he doesn't realise is that he is pretty much meant to die there.
There's a reason why his palace was builded here, he literally got told to build it there. It was there so he could die and cocoon himself again.
When he first saw jayce and encountered the singularity, he was literally describing himself.
“self annihilating and replicating” That's him, this entity is connected to him, he is meant to die and be reborn over and over again. He might not completely embody it yet, but he is a product of it. (and he will probably gonna try to harness it, that's what the beginning of ep 6 set up.)
I don't think he expected jayce to shoot him, when he saw what he was going to do he looked pretty shocked, but he was intentionally kept docile by the core basically guaranteeing that even actually he will die out.
And then he had the audacity to conclude it must have happened cuz people just suck.
He tried nothing to prevent this and he is already out of options.
To his defense he was probably really lost in the sauce at this point.
This is also why he was making his following, he was supposed to draw power from them after he dies so he can be reborn again.
This also means that singed and ambessa are probably interfering with this process.
It would explain why he looks so wrong in the poster.
In conclusion, the core keeps Viktor in a mind state where he is docile enough not to question what's happening around him using his already existing flaws against him in order to spread itself.
One last thing I would like to add is that I don't think this will be his final transformation, I believe the final one will either happen at the top of the hex gate or at the bottom of it.
#arcane#viktor#arcane season 2#derpythoughts#jayce#league of legends#viktor arcane#jayvik#jayce arcane#arcane meta#arcane theory#if ya have any questions or want my take on something feel free to send an ask
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Hi good morning or afternoon I have an imagine idea!
I was thinking of how the pre crash crew (maybe after the crash if you want) would react to a very bubbly reader, like they try to keep up the crews spirits and what not though out the trip. But they often wear pjs or very comfortable clothes since they literally don’t have to much. 😅 hope that made sense sorry.
⟬MOUTHWASHING X GN!READER⟭
SUMMARY : being the bubbly person amongst the crew
WARNINGS : jiggleballs. A bit ooc, characters thoughts on you at the end.
WORD COUNT : 1,039
A/n : sorry if it feels rushed, dw it makes sense!
Click "Keep reading" for more!☟
- being on space was the last thing to cross your mind, but seeing how you had no job and no money, you applied for pony express.
- you were nervous to say the least, who wouldn't be? After all you'll be in the middle of nowhere.
- just take a deep breath and don't think too much about it.
- and you're on the ship now.
- time goes fast huh?
- now being on the ship, surrounded by your crew, you had to admit, you felt awkward, especially when it came to starting conversations, so you kept to yourself, only speaking when someone spoke to you.
- few weeks passed and you grew comfortable.
- soon enough, you began to open up to your crew.
- they all hadn't expected you to be that bubbly and happy, but whatever.
- whenever you're done with your job, you'd hop your way to your crew to help them.
- Anya needs help organizing the cabinets? On it!
- Swansea needs help holding the flash light? Your dad screamed at you enough times to know what to do!
- oh Daisuke's struggling? You're next to him guiding him through everything!
- Curly is in the mood for coffee? You're bringing him some biscuits to snack on while sipping his hot beverage.
- Jimmy wants you to shut up? Well that hurt but ok!
- for some reason, you loved giving candy to everyone, the candy you managed to sneak into the ship.
- oh Anya bandaged your cuts? Have some candy!
- Swansea fixed the air ventilation? Have a treat!
- Daisuke? He didn't do a thing but he deserves something sweet!
- Curly? He's the captain so he's sure tired after a long day! He deserves something to enjoy!
- Jimmy? He's co-pilot so he should get a treat too!(he snatched it without saying a thank you, rude >:{)
- the crew did notice how comfortable you were around them.
- Anya had once saw you walking around with your cat-patterned pj pants, your excuse was that it was "too comfortable to take off", she found it amusing.
- speaking of which, you wore your pjs almost the entire time.
- you didn't have much to pack anyway, so you packed your sleeping clothes more than your usual fits.
- sometimes pj pants and your work shirt, or your jumpsuit and some pjs underneath.
- at least you were comfortable on your job.
- you were a janitor, cleaning the ship, but there wasn't much to clean so you're left with free time.
- one time you had too much free time, so you looked through your belongings and found yarn.
- and you thought it was a good idea to make miniature dolls of everyone, and you did, hope they like it.
- time to gift the crew!
- Anya found it adorable, placing it on her desk and using it as a pen holder.
- Daisuke was happy to see a miniature version of himself, he stuffed it in his pants pocket and started carrying it almost everywhere.
- Swansea had no reaction, just a usual gruff expression painting his face, but you did find the doll sitting on one of his shelves, so you took it as a sign that he liked it.
- Curly, he really liked it, but he didn't know where to place it, so he kept it in his locker.
- you had no idea where or what Jimmy had done to his miniself, you just hoped he accepted the gift.
- things can't go wrong can it?
- well sucks to suck, ya jinxed it.
- the ship had crashed.
- and poor Curly, he was in a devastating condition.
- you almost broke character when you saw him like that.
- regardless of his new, grossing for some appearance, you still treated him the same.
- Anya found you in the medical room every noon, either helping Curly take his painkillers, or replacing his old bloodied bandages with new ones, or simply telling him about your day and how it went.
- it was bizarre how your personality never change after the crash.
- despite everything, you tried your best to lift up everyone's mood, even when you ran out of candy, you were handing your crew paper stars for their hardwork, in hopes of making them feel better.
- now with the ship foamed up, the places to clean up were limited, meaning you won't be doing as much as before.
- and you took that as an opportunity to help out everyone.
- especially Jimmy, you tried your best to get on his good side, for the sake of everyone.
- after all, you were the reason the crew hadn't gone insane yet.
CURLY
- you are kind and charming.
- your personality is fit to be vet, kind, thoughtful and empathetic.
- he found it adorable whenever you'd hand him or the crew some candy as a "reward".
- he felt a lot better having you around.
- especially after the crash.
- even if he was in so much pain, having you around made him feel a lot better.
- if he could, he would've smiled at you when you brought his miniself and placed it next to him on his medical bed.
ANYA
- you are like a younger sibling to her.
- always coming to her office to show her things you've made or just to talk about your day in general.
- she felt a lot safer around you, especially whenever you slept over at her room as it warded off someone..
- after all, you were like the friend she never knew she needed.
SWANSEA
- he considers you his kid.
- the way you act reminds him of his daughters.
- he did enjoy your banter, he just didn't like showing it.
- he was grateful for having you around, otherwise he would've lost his temper every now and then.
DAISUKE
- besties.
- he thought of you as his homie.
- the way you'd let him talk for hours about his interests made him like you.
- he'd spent sometime on his gameboy while you lay your head on his shoulder and watch.
- he's grateful you're there, you were his cuddle buddy.
JIMMY
- your kindness is sickening.
- you're so kind it makes him feel nauseous.
- how could someone be so bubbly and kind?
- it throws him off whenever you gift him something or offer to help him.
- he doesn't really know how he feels about you.
#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x you#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing swansea#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing jimmy#tw jimmy#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing fanfiction#mouthwashing fanfic#𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜﹏⌕□𖤐
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A Reward
Big Bro Whitney x AFAB!Reader
Words: 669
Tw: Incest, cockwarming, implied blowjob at the end
Note: It has been too long since I've done an incest fic but this probably sucks
My big brother usually didn’t like me in his room, but he insisted I play a game with him. Knowing Whitney “playing a game” could range from actually playing a game to fucking. I was hoping he wanted to have sex, it’s been a while since we last fucked.
Walking into his room I came to the realization it may be a mix of both as I could see his pants undone and cock is out while he played a round of some new shooting game he recently got. I didn’t say anything as I stood beside him, not wanting to throw him off his game and lose. If I did, he would probably punish me. He absolutely hates losing and the proof is the controller size holes in his walls.
It took a few minutes for the round to end and for him to fully acknowledge me, “Strip slut.” I did as he asked, stripping down to nothing. “Good…so obedient for your big brother.” He pulled me onto his lap, slipping his cock inside my cunt. I moaned and he smirked, forcing the controller into my hands. “Now I want to see if you’re as good as you say you are.”
His grip around my waist was tight and I knew there was no saying no. “Fine.” I whispered, shifting around in his lap but there was no getting comfortable. “I can’t promise I’ll be any good though.” I’ve always sucked at shooters like this.
He chuckled, groping my chest. “If you win a game I’ll reward you.” I couldn’t help but clench down around his cock, I have a pretty good idea what that reward is.
I took a shaky breath, trying to focus on the game and not Whitney’s twitching cock in my cunt. I picked the class I wanted and loaded into the game. I did not recognize anything about this map, I guess it’s one of the new ones.
Right away I knew I was fucked when some kid trick shot me not even two minutes into the round, “Fuck!” I hate kids like this, he’s probably been playing nonstop since the game came out.
Whitney laughed, “What a try hard pussy.” He played with my body while I waited for the next round to start. Rubbing my clit while bouncing me on his cock, occasionally pinching with nipples.
When I was teetering on the edge of an orgasm the next round began and Whitney stopped. I whined but began to play the game again, albeit not great. I was distracted and missing a lot of easy shots. “Aww, poor baby can’t shoot for shit.” He chuckled in my ear, reaching down and rubbing my clit. “I wonder how long you can hold out. Maybe another round before you’re begging me to fuck you.”
Whining, I tried to focus on the game. “I can make it the whole game.” I wanted to prove him wrong for once, that I could hold out. That I wouldn’t break down and beg him to fuck me. Did I want that? Yes, but I also want to win a bet for once.
Despite how determined I am, I’m still awful at this game and Whitney knows that. “Sure you will, baby.” He laughed condescendingly, pinching my nipple and causing me to miss another easy kill.
The entire game went like this, there was no winning for me, no getting the reward he promised if I won. “Goddammit.” I grumbled upon seeing the score, to no one's surprise I lost the game. I tossed the controller to the side, crossing my arms and huffing.
Whitney laughed, “I knew you couldn’t do it.” He lifted me off is lap and pushed me to the ground, making me kneel between his legs. “Since you lost” He smirked down at me, forcing my face closer to his cock, “now you have to suck my cock.”
I could only sigh, gripping onto his thighs. “Fine…” I’m not going to be getting off tonight.
𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵
𝘒𝘰-𝘍𝘪
#tw incest#dol#dol fanfic#dol fanfiction#big bro whitney#dol whitney#whitney dol#whitney the bully#degrees of lewdity whitney#dol whitney x reader#whitney degrees of lewdity#whitney the bully x reader#whitney x reader#whitney x reader fanfic#degrees of lewdity imagine#degrees of lewdity imagines#degrees of lewdity fanfiction#degrees of lewdity fanfic#degrees of lewdity#degrees of lewdity x reader#my writing
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#i have no idea what to do with my life anymore#the one thing that i was hoping to pan out for me fucking tanked#and i have to basically start back at square fucking one now#what sucks is i have no idea what i did wrong#completely left in the dark about it and#now my whole fucking career prospects and shit is OVER#literally hate this for me so bad#bc this fucking tech company didnt do as they said they'd do#and its like#this was supposed to be life changing for me?????#like what the actual fuck#i really am THISCLOSE to just giving up#this is the first time my dreams actually felt fucking crushed#my post#text post
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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#ran out of tags LOLLLL#and then .at least on fords end . be able to witness the moment of collapse . in which all his ‘righteous’ feelings r sucked out like a#vacuum or some star collapsing on itself bc not only is he like . having to come to terms w his own flaws#and the insidious like . stomach churning guilt associated w that but also the panic and fear (realized#w the portal or bills deception) into looking outwards and having that silent ‘oh’ moment where its like yeah#thats why he left . why wouldnt he#GRAAAAA LIKE I WANT DESTRUCTIONNN I WANT THINGS 2 FALL DOWN SO HE CAN FINALLY REBUILDDD#let me innn😭😭😭😭💥let me in to the self reflection those thirty years😭😭😭💥💥💥💥💥#who did you meet that reminded you of himm😭😭😭who wronged u in similar ways who gave u a reason to be betterrr whoo what did you see#and when you finally came back what did u FEEEL .. and dont lie and say there wasnt that wisp of nostalgia laced arnd ur heart#girl…..talk to me focus on me u know me u know these things#stanford pines#gravity falls#sry for taggingn these i need it for my own blog i prmmy i need to reference this . i will#ok im back bc i read fords end snd i want to rip my hair out bc fiddleford has such good ‘collapse’ imagery too#like we liteally got the soc of the blind eye videos . HIS DOCUMENTSRYYY#oohhhits rly over for us (me) now (and stanford and fiddleford.and stanley bc i feel bad excluding him💔)#only talking ab ford bc i need a reason to connect it to stan bc im sick in tbe brain and i need the familial conflict aspect too#but fidds .. ur misery does not go unnoticed by me ‼️#anyways. ik i said idc if they didnt get back together but the beauty of multiplicity is also liking the idea#HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHlike whenb im over the conflict im like dude they went through so much tgether it must be nice to find urself in the#familiarity again. uugughh.AUUUH./
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hi! anonymous asker here, I made an account to post about why I initially thought I was Lion. This is going to start off like me trying to argue it's wrong but that's not what it is. It's also long af, sorry for that, I wrote it out for myself to process it then went back and realized there was a literal question it was in response to. longafness after link, tl;dr: I value and rely on my gut feelings heavily, can't make myself ignore them, but I want them to be predictable and it's uncomfortable when they get out of line
So I felt confident about Lion, and with Badger or Snake, it was "I wouldn't like it but I could see it." Like with Snake, I love me some hedonism and struggle with selfishness - had assumed both those characters were huge Snakes lol - but find it as a whole to be a very "fuck you, I got mine" mentality. Sucks for those strangers in need with no one to come through for them! Like I have STRONG feelings about this, I don't understand how people don't find it horrifying. I actually have a weird opposite thing where I can get FURIOUS on behalf of strangers being mistreated, even hypothetical or fictional ones, in a way I don't for people I know well or even myself. Which is why I thought Badger was possible and maybe I just was resistant due to being burned or because I thought it was boring, but the unpersoning group thing creeps me out. "All people matter… except the ones that don't." It's so close to being really beautiful!
With Bird it was more, "who even does this?" Like with the Bird answer on the "lack of objective truth" question, "it's OK, I thought about it and reality is close enough to the model in my head", that is literally incomprehensible to me as a way a person would think. (My answer was "actually there is objective truth." That was my answer before I even got through the question.)
The main reason why I thought Bird was impossible is the "choosing to care about something" part. I can't do that. Caring about things is not something I can turn on or off at will, even if I want to. At least not important things as opposed to say hobbies, but even then I can't just go "ok self, you're gonna like football now because I said so" and then actually do. It's an organic process, I can kick it off but ultimately I either care or don't care, and if I don't then the farthest I'm gonna get is pretending, or lying to myself while knowing it's a lie. Definitely can't talk myself into caring about a job, god knows I've tried lol. My likes and dislikes are so fundamental to who I am as a person, so sacred even, that the idea that they are deliberately malleable for other people is just, whaaaaa?
Where this really kicks in is friends and relationships, I cannot deliberately make myself like someone I dislike or dislike someone I like, people generally don't grow more attractive to me over time. and it'd make me sad, like relationship-foundation-shakingly sad, if I found out my friends/partner felt that way with me. like they had to try to like me rather than just like me.
I'm not really a logical person either. I start with the conclusion, which is generally based on feelings, and then hope I can justify it in case I ever have to talk about it. (because arguing is stressful enough when I do have a defensible stance let alone when I can't explain it) I have this irrational but unshakeable assumption that my feelings and thoughts should just agree completely. When they don't, that feels bad, but my gut has veto power. To fully talk myself into or out of opinions I have to actually feel good about them, they have to not feel viscerally wrong, or else things get into an uncomfortable self-judging place where I know I should believe something but don't actually, truly, deep down, believe it. Or where none of the stances feel right, that's even more "fun".
A good example of that is actually the "past self is a different person" thing. My past self is still me, the things I did or thought in the past do not disappear just because I've changed nor do their permanent effects on me. I absolutely feel guilty about things I used to believe, and sure some of that is just the cringe of people knowing about it, but even if no one else knew I'd know and that's enough. And yet… I also theoretically believe in rehabilitation and think it's wrong not to, but apparently I actually don't, because that sure isn't something a person who believes in rehabilitation would say! I'm being flippant but this legitimately bothers me, especially because the idea of not believing in rehabilitation feels even more bad.
What convinced me ultimately: I'm not a Trump supporter, obviously. I would like to think it is absolutely impossible for me to become a Trump supporter. But that's what they all say, people become the things they would never EVER become all the time. Which led me to this question: Would it be worse to deliberately choose to do something wrong, or to slowly stop believing it's wrong without realizing? Or does that distinction even matter? Feel free to substitute something less extreme, like working for an evil company, bullying, cheating, selling out, betraying a friend, whatever line you would never cross.
And my answer is actually that the latter is wayyy more disturbing. I'm really big on owning and naming your beliefs and desires. It's a great way to get your conscience to kick in, to actually say it out loud then see how good or bad that felt. Same principle as how, if someone makes a racist joke, you act confused and ask them to explain it to you.
So the former would be gross, like fuck any person who would do it; but at least I could be conscious of the fact that I am choosing to do an evil thing for the sake of, I don't know, stonks. I would be engaged in the process, my conscience would be involved despite being ignored, and I would hope I would feel disgusted with myself forever. (Even considering the possibility is kind of disgusting.) But slowly having your beliefs erode over time into something bad… how do you stop that? How do you do ANYTHING about that? Shit what if it's happening right now? Even if the shift was in the opposite direction and I slowly became a better person without trying… I guess that's good? Can't argue with it being a net positive? But it feels unearned and unreliable, if you can sleepwalk forward you can sleepwalk back.
So that's conscious vs. unconscious I guess. Also I wrote and revised a ton of words to answer the question so there's that too.
bird primary + burnt snake secondary
tl;dr: Fairly sure I'm Lion primary (maybe burned Badger since I sort of envy the idea of close communities, or hedonistic Snake, not sure where that line is)
(the way that divide works out is that basically, Burnt Badgers look like Snakes. They have the Snake's small community, but wish they could cast their net wider. Hedonistic Snakes tend to be more solo, and much more focused on /stuff/. Also, both options make pretty good short-term coping mechanisms.)
but unsure whether my secondary is Bird, Snake/burned Snake, or burned Lion.
I love researching and reverse-engineering and my immediate response to situations is to Google advice, but reactively, not proactively. I am allergic to planning, and prepwork feels stifling and unnatural.
Ooooh, have we got a single-player Environment Snake? (I also think of these as MacGyver Snakes.) Basically just pulling at the things around you in order to solve the problem at hand.
I studied math in college then did a coding bootcamp, and I always felt adrift because both only taught memorizing solutions to individual problems/proofs, not how to solve unfamiliar ones -- i.e., really learning.
However, I neither consider myself flexible nor want to be, and singleplayer Snake is wayyyyyyyyyyyy more comfortable than stuff involving other people. (Complicating factor: not neurotypical.)
I think I can say, pretty confidently, that this system works just fine if you're not neurotypical. :) There's no reason you have to use the multi-player version if you don't want. The most dramatic single/multi player divide is probably Bookkeeper Badger vs Courtier Badger, and there are lots of people who prefer being just one or the other.
I do the "faces" thing reflexively, in the moment, but it doesn't feel like "shifting" or "becoming" anything: just me, lying.
That's Snake. "Becoming" is more of a word that a Courtier Badger would use, they kinda do have to believe it, or it doesn't work. Snake secondaries are a lot more aware of what they're doing, in the moment.
It's interesting that you are just straight-up using the word lie though. In my experience, Snakes are more likely to conceptualize that particular problem-solving strategy as "say it in a way they'll listen to," or something like that. You might just be super direct (and/or like hanging out in Neutral) buuuut... the negativity of "lie" can sometimes point to a Burnt secondary. No sign of that yet, but I'll keep an eye out for it.
I don't have a moral problem with lying; it's often even right since a) telling the truth often hurts people, and b) people do prefer it: most people want to hear what they want to hear, and if that happens to be the truth that's great.
Hmmm. This is sounding like primary stuff. And it's quite reasoned out, which makes me interested in hearing why you went for Lion primary instead of Bird.
But deep down, I guess I resent it. I wish that when I say what I mean it would convince people rather than create problems. I try to ration that to only things that REALLY matter to me, but tbh many things do. I hate arguing.
What I'm hearing here is the Bird primary fantasy of "If I was only able to explain it exactly right, in precisely the right words, then everyone would agree with me." And as you say earlier, it doesn't actually work like that. It sounds like you're feeling a bit cynical in regards to other people a the moment, and I can't exactly blame you.
I would love to be an inspirational secondary but I am bad at inspiring people.
There is definitely some burnt secondary talk going on here.
Family: I'm not close to my father -- he’s a terrible person, serial cheater, racist, etc. I'm closer to my mother, and don't think she's a bad person, but both parents were hypercritical and have horrible tempers, so my childhood felt horrible to live through since I was always getting yelled at or having corporal punishment used for doing something wrong.
Definitely seeing where the burned secondary energy is coming from, if so many of your formative experiences involved being told that the way you were doing things was wrong. I also see why you might have at least a fascination with the confident, firey, speak-your-truth-and-damn-the-consequences Lion secondary.
(On paper this could be called abusive, and anyone else being subjected to this makes me furious, but I'm not fully comfortable with the label for my situation, even though I know that's inconsistent.)
I understand, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate your carefully articulated position, and it's slanting me in the direction of Bird primary. Even though this is obviously a topic you are very emotional about, all those emotions are arranged within the framework of thought. You're aware of and okay the fact that you feel all kinds of different ways about what happened.
Any secondary model came from my mom, but I don't know about primary. She always says my sister and I are "the most important things in her life." (One of the reasons I don’t want kids is that I don’t think I could ever believe or promise them that.) She ostensibly also hates my father and their divorce was vicious, but she kept working for him until he retired, goes on trips with him to see my sister or me, and pressured me for years to un-estrange him because “after all, he’s family” until I gave in and now pretend to have a relationship just enough to placate them. I don't have any ethical problems doing this, it's just irritating.
That is very, very unusual family dynamic. Have to get my head around that. Your mom may have some very intense Badger going on, especially with the the whole "after all, he's family" thing. That could fit go with a nasty divorce, especially if she thought his presence was a threat to you and your sister. On the other hand, she might just be able to compartmentalize to an insane degree, which would probably point to Bird secondary.
I don't understand this aspect of my mom; I observe it happening, but I don't understand it. It feels kind of sad, in an existential way.
Honestly, I agree.
(Another way my dad sucks is that he played favorites with my sister and I, me being the favorite.
Being the Golden Child sucks just as much as being the Problem Child.
The shitty resulting dynamic is I only "care about" his approval to avoid him creating drama that ripples to everyone around him -- he's gotten better but he has literally started shit when I didn't end emails with "love" -- but my sister actually cares about his approval, and it hurts her.)
Secondary-wise, my mom would always harp on me to "pay attention to the people and things around you," and whenever I tell her about solving problems in Snakeish ways she's like "way to go, [me]!" But she also is meticulously planned and scheduled and organized, and hates surprises and not knowing exactly what will happen. She's the kind of person who gets frustrated in April when I haven’t told her my Thanksgiving itinerary, which, like... I don't want to think that far ahead.
She could be either Prep-work secondary, Bird or Badger. If she's a Bird, "pay attention to the people and things around you," points to a a Rapid-Fire Bird (which can look *very* Snakey.) Or it could be a way of describing Courtier Badger. Being that scheduled is more often a Bird thing... but I could also imagine a Badger manifesting like that, especially if she is so concerned with specifically planning holidays.
Low-stakes/high-stakes problem that felt good: This is a high-stakes problem containing a low-stakes problem. I'm rolling them together because they illustrate both aspects of my problem solving.
Higher stakes: That coding bootcamp required being on Zoom 8 hours every day. But I had 3 roommates (part of why I did it was to not have 3 roommates), and they didn't want me there that much. I can't go to coffee shops because either they're loud, or I will make them loud by talking for 8 hours, thus becoming the problem. Coworking spaces are expensive af. I even consider renting a storage unit but I don't think they have power and wifi. The idea I settle on is sneaking onto a nearby college campus: preferably the CS building, to blend in. I scour the college subreddit for posts about what buildings let students in without ID, then scout them out (this is March, the thing doesn't start until May, I'm just high on must-solve-now energy). After ~15 minutes (lol) of walking through campus I decide I've had enough, seems doable. The day of, I leave early in case I have to give up and go home, but that turned out to be completely pointless because tailgating in is shockingly easy. Like it's scary how easy it is. One day a security officer stopped me but even he eventually let me in after I acted increasingly frazzled and panicked -- not ENTIRELY an act but I definitely was playing it up.
I like this story. And I feel good about saying that it is QUITE snakey: what do I have immediately around me, and how can I use it to get what I want in this moment? Even little details like - you're not bothering to come up with a cover story or borrow/forge someone's ID. If you're caught you'll talk your way out of it. You did a little research, then scoped the place out, then were good to go.
Lower stakes: I usually did classes from an empty auditorium (students weren't supposed to be there but no one checked, and also I'm not a student right?). The whiteboard's eraser stand was a few inches away from the wall, and one day I drop my phone in the gap. Shit. The gap's way too high to reach down. I can't ask anyone for help because I'm already 2 layers deep of being somewhere I'm not supposed to be. The stand screws to the wall, but I don't have a screwdriver because who just carries a screwdriver around? (For whatever reason, going to a hardware store didn't occur to me.) I stare at the thing until I realize: I am literally in the ENGINEERING building. I search various offices, ask people for a screwdriver, but no luck. Then I see a board listing the departments. One floor has a "makerspace," and somehow, its door is wide open (the student lounge is locked down but the room with deadly power tools isn't, ???) I grab 5 sizes of screwdriver, then also grab duct tape and a ruler to fish my phone out in case the screwdrivers don't work, which turned out to be a good idea because they didn't
Sounds to me to me like you just MacGyvered a solution :D
One thing I am picking up on is your subtle critique of the existing rules/systems. Getting in via tailgateing is easier than it should be, talking your way past the guard was too easy. The door with the powertools really should be locked, etc. It's making me (again) think Bird primary for you. You've very tuned into the way things run, and how well designed (or not) that is. There's also just a little bit of Birdy rules-lawyer in "Students aren't allowed in this room, but I'm not a student (because I snuck in.)"
Hard decision-making process…. I don’t know. I don’t experience many decisions as hard. I often know what I want to do right away; the difficult part is doing it.
In the language of this system, that's a Burnt secondary.
Or I know what I should do, am obligated to do, have no choice but to do, etc., though sometimes it feels miserable or wrong, like resignation.
Unfortunately that is what it feels like to have a Burnt primary - you just use whatever problem-solving strategy you can at random, since they all feel like a chore and it doesn't really matter.
I can feel proud of making certain "right" choices in an abstract self-congratulatory way, but I never like it or really feel good about it. I either act on something immediately or put it off until the decision makes itself, a drop-dead deadline approaches, I get bored/impulsive enough to do it on the spot, or I suddenly swerve my life toward something I like better.
You're definitely an Improvisational secondary. Which is really fine, even though I know it doesn't feel that way all the time when you come from a family of intense Prep-work people. Just keep an eye on that 'wait until the deadline' impulse. It's very, very common for neurodivergent people to use that last-minute stress adrenaline to kind of hack their brain, and it's not sustainable.
I'd wanted to change careers for years but the actual decision to do the bootcamp was an impulse based on ~3 hours' research the day I encountered it.
That can absolutely work though. You *are* working on the problem and mulling it over in your head long term, even if you are (in the words of another snake secondary) "waiting for the opportune moment."
This is all healthy and well-adjusted, and it definitely has never caused any predictable problems! (Did get a job though.)
Hey, if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.
My fantasy: To be successful and well-known in my field; to create the kind of art I want to create and have it be respected/influential. To live the life I want, with the aesthetic I want, and the opportunities from others and follow-through from me to achieve that. The details vary based on the field but that's the general template.
I'd say that's a very human fantasy, without too many details that slant me one way or the other, in terms of this system. There's definitely a focus on the community around you and how you relate to it/integrate into it. And that makes me think Bird (the external primary) is more likely than Lion (the internal primary.)
Characters: I relate to characters who are flawed in the same ways I am -- they feel like cautionary tales -- or sometimes via empathizing in a way the story doesn’t (Carlotta from Phantom got done DIRTY).
It's interesting that you respond to characters who the narrative framing doesn't support, because the narrative framing doesn't support them. I guess that does fit with your interest in constructed systems, and if they're useful/functional or not. Which points to Bird.
On that big pop culture character test I always get Hannah from Girls and Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica: harsh, but not wrong.
(I always get Inara from Firefly and Céline from Before Sunrise.)
It's been a second since I've seen Girls or Battlestar Galactica, but I do think that both of those characters are Bird Snakes, which is honestly impressive since Bird Snakes are easily the least common fictional archetype.
Baltar is clever, adaptive, reactive, he pulls from around him. He also bluffs and will *act* like he's an expert when he really isn't. A lot of his internal conflict revolves around extremely Bird primary rationalization - is this situation really his fault? and if it is, what is he morally/rationally supposed to do about it (if anything?) "Voice of *a* generation" Hannah also has this way of getting caught in her own feedback loops when trying to figure herself out. One of my favorite moments is the bit where she loses her purse on the way back from the wedding, and then rides the train all the way to Coney Island, sits on the beach and eats the slice of wedding cake while watching the sun rise. I think that's beautiful, and a very Snake secondary response.
I also gravitate toward a specific archetype: Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire, Madame Bovary, Violetta from La Traviata. People who desire an impossible thing deeply and unshakably, temporarily achieve it, and are taken down dramatically.
Now that, I'm thinking is a story structure that you like. And/or you're drawn to these tragic great ladies, living most of the way in a fantasy world. It's a good, cathartic archetype.
What makes me feel powerful: I don’t really resonate with that framing. The closest is that feeling like I have no options is the same for me as feeling powerless.
Okay, "not feeling powerless," I'll take it. And we're back to that Burnt secondary again. I'm hoping you'll leave your Snake a little more room to breathe and play, because it seems like you're a pretty capable person. You manage to do the things you want to get done, and you have an excellent awareness of what are good and bad situations, both for you and just in general.
Thank you to anonymous for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D
If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.
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lan xichen is not a perfect human being. he is an older brother who is Going Through Some Shit by the end of the novel. did he always make good choices?? no!! have you????
#i’m having a supremely difficult time with the Xichen haters commenting on wi3.#like all mdzs characters i feel that he’s an incredibly nuanced character#the idea of hating xichen feels so fucking foreign to me because ultimately he just care he brother#no matter what shape that brother takes#lan xichen#mdzs#deep breath#WE ARE NOT OUR MISTAKES AND WEI WUXIAN IS THE BIGGEST MOST GLARING EXAMPLE OF THIS#AND THE FACT THAT YOU CAN RECOGNIZE THIS BUT NOT THAT XICHEN SAID A MEAN THING WHEN HE WAS UPSET AND HIS WORLD WAS CRUMBLING#SAYS A LOT MORE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SKEWED POV#IF WWX ISNT UPSET ABOUT BEING CALLED LWJS MISTAKE BECAUSE HE REALIZES THERES MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO HE WORRIED ABOUT#RATHER THAN XICHENS ANGY REMARKS THAT CLEARLY HAVE NO BASIS BECAUSE WWX OBVIOUSLY DIDNT REMEMBER#THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO MAD ON HIS BEHALF#seriously the narrative puts SO LITTLE FOCUS ON THIS#laughably little#xichen wants his brother to be happy he doesn’t WANT to push wwx away#he wants wwx to recognize the fault he has and the blame he carries so that he will TREAT WANGJI APPROPRIATELY#so that he’ll stop being a dense motherfucker about his own feelings long enough to realize that wangji has been irrevocably in love#since the very beginning!!!#xichen ignored crimes that sucks#that’s a valid reason to critique his character#‘xichen ignored jgy’s crimes but not wwx’s and actively tried to sabotage wangxian’#no you’re wrong#xichen did not lead the lan to the burial mounds#stop confusing xichen for qiren#if wangji had successfully convinced wwx to return to gusu with him xichen would’ve done the shrug emote#sorry uncle! i have a new brother again!#foh with your xichen hate#i’m gonna be late for work bc of this rant but it needed to be said
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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao
#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her#and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that#bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control#AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern#which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have#become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and#then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see#the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then#immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now#hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him#she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women#bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely#fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are#capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the#like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond#or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to#feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe#months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time#its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like#there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she#wouldnt show up and ive been right each time#like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at#them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all#anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it#and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy#and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way#its just AUSHD AUGH#anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore
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I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know I’m not a good friend#but i think it’s trauma related#and I know that’s not an excuse#but a reason#and I’m just… also tired of people leaving me#I don’t strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then like….. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and like…. yeah…. that’s part of life#but I’m just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#don’t get me wrong!!#but I know I’m not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. don’t get me wrong#but I wish I could just… go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far just…. ignore it oof.#it’s just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so it’s best to tumblr rant#I’ve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I don’t hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and it’s throwing me off a bit#I mean it’s right on time really… I have a gender crisis almost every four years…
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Thinking about geto because I want to pour milk on him and throw him against the wall. Imo his beliefs are inconsistent and self serving (which makes sense because he developed said beliefs at age 16/17 while his mental health was at an all time low). Because while he seems to have the primary motive of "only sorcerers = no curses" taking into account how he treats Maki, who has no cursed energy, it shows that the "no curses" thing isnt the main focus- bc while he decided on tbe "forced evolution" thing, theoretically he should not be Opposed to ppl w heavenly restriction bc. They still fuckin. Don't contribute to curses from what I can tell. Also heavenly restriction is pretty obviously something that is punished by uh. Is it just the Zenin's who have it. Anyway they hated Maki and they Hated Toji so he clearly isn't standing for "oppressed sorcerers" bc if so Maki should be like. The kind of person he wants to help more, as someone who would be oppressed by ppl who aren't sorcerers as well as the powerful clans.
Anyway. While getting rid of curses is for sure part of his motivation, as well as helping sorcerers (see Nanako and Mimiko) id honestly argue that his main problem that lead to him spiraling was. How do I put this. Being knocked off a pedestal
Because he was one of 3 people given the ranking of "Special Grade", and he and satoru are grouped as "the strongest". And consider that satoru comes from a powerful clan and literally has some weird omniscience and invincibility shit going on so that's a whole fucking. That's gotta be a wild ego boost, especially for someone who comes from a family of ppl who aren't sorcerers. Like you spend all this time being a fuckin weirdo and then someone finds you and it turns out you're actually incredibly special and strong, given the same rank as a fucking God Child? You're gonna have some wild self perceptions after that
Anyway then you get to watch your invincible friend get stabbed, watch the girl you became friends with and feel shitty about kinda ruining the life of get shot, and get your whole shit rocked by some guy who can't even use the magic power bullshit you have. (Though he's got a whole physical thing going on because of the trade off)
Also writing all of this out actually makes me understand the Cult Leader progression more, like besides the fact they killed ur friend and you want em dead. You're probably struggling with your ego (especially since your weird God like friend got a whole power boost from the situation) so you create a fucking eugenicist cult where you can consistently prove your superiority to yourself (surrounding yourself with people who will agree with everything you say).
Anyway in a similar vein I wholely believe in "a loving father is not inherently a good father" Suguru + Nanako & Mimiko dynamic
Final thought is roughly I feel like looking at Suguru thru the lense of "this character had a level of privilege that they felt they truly deserved, and after experiencing events that are genuinely traumatic and horrific for any person, they develop reactionary beliefs to try and regain a sense of superiority and control" rather than "oppressed minority who killed oppressors and wants to do eugenics"
#Eugenics TW#cult TW#ask to tag#Suguru when I catch you#Anyway this was me thinking Abt the fact that Toji ISNT a normal human. He just can't use jujutsu. He's like supernaturally powerful anyway#So Geto's whole shit is like. Pretty misdirected. Though also personal thought is I don't think His parents were good (and he's projecting#That onto every other person who's not a sorcerer) mostly cause like. Going straight to murdering your parents is not really expected#Progression in eugenics id think? Bc if you posit urself as the ''superior'' person theoretically ur parents should also b part of that#Bc genetics or whatever. Idk how genetic sorcery shit is but even tho his parents Weren't sorcerers usually ppl would make excuses I think#So. Basically I feel like he probably did not have a great relationship w them. Not that that makes him any better more just like. Thinking#Through what's happening in his head...why the fuck did he decide on a different last name for that woman. WTF is wrong with him#I am suguru's number 1 LOVER and his number 1 HATER. I'm suffering bc none of the fanfic makes him enough of a bitch#It's really fucking something bc like. Looking at him as someone who's had similar thought progressions and is unlearning the kind of toxic#Black/white extremist thinking he has going on. It's cathartic in a way to deconstruct that and be able to analyze my own thoughts as well#But then no one is putting in the effort to actually engage with his ideas and the flaws in them (INCLUDING THE AUTHOR.)#Anyway most people when they have a crisis and reach an extremely bad mental health situation would join a cult rather than take over a cul#But suguru is different. That's why I love him and also why I'm going to break his ribs.#Diversity win this autistic trans guy fucking sucks so bad you want him dead#I need to tag these damn posts w something but I'm too lazyyyu
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Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)
#god amanda waller what did they do to you....#i KNOW i never shut up about this but GUYS ITS SO BAD#fucking WHY would you take the interesting antihero protagonist and then strip her of any redeeming quality and use her as this horrific#unforgivable villain who is treated as a hated antagonist in her own comics#WHERE SHE ISNT EVEN THE MAIN CHARACTER MOST OF THE TIME#like why are you trying to make me sympathize with fucking harley quinn or smth when the actual main character is right there. why are we#turning her into this horrific villain w a million master plans making deals with the devil and shit.#we are supposed to like her. like maybe not all dc fans do because shes almost always an antagonist in other books but in her own shes the#main character!!! there should be some aspect of interest or sympathy for her. as opposed to just making her like badass or whatever#so sick of this#and its in freaking EVERYTHING right now on god i cant read other comics that are otherwise good (like ga) and enjoy them without the#obligatory intense demonification of one of my fave characters#like shes my no 6 in locg for a reason i genuinely love waller like yeah she sucks sometimes but shes INTERESTING.#this is not interesting or creative in any way what theyre doing with her#this genuinely could have been any government baddie like honestly#dont flatten 3 dimensional characters into 1 dimension (or at best like 1.5) to tell a story you tell the story around the 3d characters.#why do i need to say this. basic competent storytime#blah#amanda waller#istg i throw out another waller rant every freaking tuesday on here#suicide squad#you know what. at least we had the movie#you heard me. higher hopes for the new gunn dceu series than actual comics for the forseeable future#viola davis save me...#need to do a bit of 00s reading still to verify but on god watch this all come down to a fucking new 52 thing. like not to say that i think#thats where it all went wrong bc i need to read more to verify but i have an idea of what rlly did it and i think it was a nu52 decision#but then again maybe im stupid
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Honestly, one of the first things that pushed me into learning more about judaism was the whole xtianity thing of jesus as the messiah, and while jews aren't "xtians without the jesus!!!", when I first learned about the... (actually-jewish) views of messianicness (for lack of a better word), I really just went, "well no shit? I feel like everybody doesn't believe in that [the messiah/jesus as the messiah/jesus as g-d]"
Which, I learned quickly, people do indeed have the messiah as their core belief, so funny how that works
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#even when i was an 'xtian' i was really just in it to make my family feel like i was 'on the right track' lol#like my grandma is the hardcore type that thinks you go to hell if you don't accept jesus specifically into your heart#which sucks because i'm not going to be a 'messianic jew' i'm going into it fully knowing that it's nothing like what i had#i watched a convert video where they talked about having the exact feelings in the church that i did so i guess that was... vindication?#and *obviously* i respect the xtian idea of jesus /and/ the islamic one where iirc he is a prophet and not the son of g-d#(if i am wrong about the part with the islamic perspective let me know that was what i remember from research)
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tbh I really think you should message her, because like. you deserve to know what was going on in her mind, if it wasn't fully explained to you. a relationship goes two ways after all
ughhh dont tempt me anon :( i COULD text her and ask her about everything i really am curious and sad about but i really dont want to be tempted cuz i just have this really bad feeling from past experience that if i try to reach out at this point in time when things are still really tense and awkward and depressing then its just gonna lead to more issues and i dont think i could handle her blocking me on every platform. like id much rather still be able to have the communication option to be available than not at all you know? but then theres like fucking instagram reels where everyone reaches out to their exes and then get married so some dummy part of my brain is like ok if i talk to her and ask her all the things i wish i knew maybe shell come back to me but its like the chances of that are so low and the potential consequences are too bad. i dont think she WOULD block me if i texted her my questions (as long as Im not being bitchy to her) but i just dont wanna risk it at all cuz i dont trust myself to be normal. i know i want to talk to her again but it would probably be a bad idea for me to text her when i know im not ready to talk to her. like theres a difference between wanting to talk and being ready to talk you know? but who knows. my plan is if its been like 8 months and im still hung up over her maybe ill text her and ask
#however what i did consider is getting drunk and then dming her friend on insta#that way im a) not messaging *her* and b) i can blame it on not being sober#but that is also a terrible idea cuz if i say something wrong she might block me anyway or her friend will never talk to me again#which yeah were not CLOSE friends or anything but idk it means a lot to me that her friend still talks to me so nicely#like idk how to explain it. it just means a lot that her friend still makes conversation w me knowing where we are#probs cuz im constnatly in my head like 'oh i bet theyre making fun of me' or being like 'fuck sunny!! you deserve better!' so the fact tha#her friend makes the effort to talk to me just makes me feel better in a way i guess#and if i sever that relationship to her friend then like its OVER you know. then i dont have a means to talk to my girlfriend other than#actually TALKING to my girlfriend#which sucks cuz her friend is considering rejoining our dance team next sem which i really would like#mainly cuz shes cool! but also it means my gf might pull up to the shows and maybe ill have a better shot at mending things next sem#idk man. like i so wish i could text her but i really shouldnt tempt myself i KNOW its a bad idea but all the signs are saying to text her#the signs being dumbass insta reels#and you anon#anon tag#asks
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