#the signs being dumbass insta reels

[thebigqueer]

tbh I really think you should message her, because like. you deserve to know what was going on in her mind, if it wasn't fully explained to you. a relationship goes two ways after all

ughhh dont tempt me anon :( i COULD text her and ask her about everything i really am curious and sad about but i really dont want to be tempted cuz i just have this really bad feeling from past experience that if i try to reach out at this point in time when things are still really tense and awkward and depressing then its just gonna lead to more issues and i dont think i could handle her blocking me on every platform. like id much rather still be able to have the communication option to be available than not at all you know? but then theres like fucking instagram reels where everyone reaches out to their exes and then get married so some dummy part of my brain is like ok if i talk to her and ask her all the things i wish i knew maybe shell come back to me but its like the chances of that are so low and the potential consequences are too bad. i dont think she WOULD block me if i texted her my questions (as long as Im not being bitchy to her) but i just dont wanna risk it at all cuz i dont trust myself to be normal. i know i want to talk to her again but it would probably be a bad idea for me to text her when i know im not ready to talk to her. like theres a difference between wanting to talk and being ready to talk you know? but who knows. my plan is if its been like 8 months and im still hung up over her maybe ill text her and ask

[olailamajnoon]

Nefertiti's headdress

A sizable crowd of reporters were in the room, and cameras were flashing as Zatanna stepped up to the podium. She was wearing her Justice League uniform—Batman's attempt to make her look more official, instead of her usual hot pink leopard-print one-piece pajamas. He stood behind her with arms crossed. It was entirely possible this was the most fame Zatanna had ever gotten, and she was very obviously enjoying it, if her reels were anything to go by.

Zatanna leaned into the mic. "Hello, everyone,” she practically purred. Bruce reflected that either she or he had been spending too much time around Selina. Possibly both. "I’m here to address the recent controversy surrounding my supposedly illegal acquisition of Queen Nefertiti’s headdress."

The reporters were urgently taking notes. Zatanna pulled out a never-ending rainbow colored handkerchief from her sleeve, and put it to her eyes, to wipe what were presumably tears of remorse. Batman felt an ugly twinge in his stomach, the twinge that said hey dumbass, maybe, just maybe, things are not going according to plan.  

“I am so sorry,” Zatanna apologized, and made the handkerchief disappear with a flourish. The reporters ahhed. “I am here to tell you guys something. Promise you’ll keep it a secret?” 

There was some confusion in the audience. Batman began to debate the virtues of very publicly pulling Zatanna away from the podium, versus the PR headache that was sure to follow if he did.

“It is I,” announced Zatanna. “I am Nefertiti, reborn.”

Oh no. He should have pulled her away from the podium.

The reporters were clamorous, now. 

Batman stepped to the podium, and positioned the mic to himself. "What Zatanna means to say is that she regrets her actions and has ensured that the artifact was returned to its rightful place. The Justice League takes the preservation of cultural artifacts seriously. Any misunderstandings about Ms. Zatara’s actions are being addressed internally.”

Zatanna put up a victory sign behind Batman's cowled head, and said, loud enough to drown out his voice, “The headdress belongs to me, ye puny mortals. I shall claim what’s mine! Who else would Nefertiti’s headdress belong to, if not Nefertiti herself?”

Batman leaned back and hissed into her ear like an angry cat. “Shut up. You will not put the Justice League through yet another PR nightmare.”

“Sorry,” Zatanna mumbled, subdued. Batman watched her uneasily as she angled the mic towards her face. The cameras were flashing. “But I have adapted to your puny modern-day life,” Zatanna said in a small voice. “I have found a newfound respect for the laws of puny men.”

“You are not the Hulk,” Batman muttered under his breath.

Zatanna waited until Batman had stepped away, expecting her to follow, before she lunged for the mic again. “Follow me on Insta, ye puny mortals, or I shall curse ye to the day ye die!”

There was an uproar. A cacophony of shouts had erupted, and Batman numbly glanced behind him. Zatanna looked up at him with her innocent moon-eyes. He found himself wondering if her magical abilities included the power to resurrect herself.

Perhaps he could test that theory for scientific purposes.