#the signs being dumbass insta reels | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thebigqueer · 2 months ago

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tbh I really think you should message her, because like. you deserve to know what was going on in her mind, if it wasn't fully explained to you. a relationship goes two ways after all

ughhh dont tempt me anon :( i COULD text her and ask her about everything i really am curious and sad about but i really dont want to be tempted cuz i just have this really bad feeling from past experience that if i try to reach out at this point in time when things are still really tense and awkward and depressing then its just gonna lead to more issues and i dont think i could handle her blocking me on every platform. like id much rather still be able to have the communication option to be available than not at all you know? but then theres like fucking instagram reels where everyone reaches out to their exes and then get married so some dummy part of my brain is like ok if i talk to her and ask her all the things i wish i knew maybe shell come back to me but its like the chances of that are so low and the potential consequences are too bad. i dont think she WOULD block me if i texted her my questions (as long as Im not being bitchy to her) but i just dont wanna risk it at all cuz i dont trust myself to be normal. i know i want to talk to her again but it would probably be a bad idea for me to text her when i know im not ready to talk to her. like theres a difference between wanting to talk and being ready to talk you know? but who knows. my plan is if its been like 8 months and im still hung up over her maybe ill text her and ask

#however what i did consider is getting drunk and then dming her friend on insta #that way im a) not messaging *her* and b) i can blame it on not being sober #but that is also a terrible idea cuz if i say something wrong she might block me anyway or her friend will never talk to me again #which yeah were not CLOSE friends or anything but idk it means a lot to me that her friend still talks to me so nicely #like idk how to explain it. it just means a lot that her friend still makes conversation w me knowing where we are #probs cuz im constnatly in my head like 'oh i bet theyre making fun of me' or being like 'fuck sunny!! you deserve better!' so the fact tha #her friend makes the effort to talk to me just makes me feel better in a way i guess #and if i sever that relationship to her friend then like its OVER you know. then i dont have a means to talk to my girlfriend other than #actually TALKING to my girlfriend #which sucks cuz her friend is considering rejoining our dance team next sem which i really would like #mainly cuz shes cool! but also it means my gf might pull up to the shows and maybe ill have a better shot at mending things next sem #idk man. like i so wish i could text her but i really shouldnt tempt myself i KNOW its a bad idea but all the signs are saying to text her #the signs being dumbass insta reels #and you anon #anon tag #asks

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