#why do i need to say this. basic competent storytime

[themyscirah]

Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)

[chemicalpink]

If it’s alright with you could you do an astrology post about how bts would flirt with a person they were attracted to?

So.. god I really hate disclaimers because I like to believe that we are all reasoning people, plus there’s a general disclaimer on my page BUT I know for a fact that people don’t read that (those same people won’t read this one anyway).

Disclaimer: This analysis/reading is based on my experience and knowledge of astrology, it is not meant to be the absolute truth, as BTS are real people, and astrology can only capture so much about multidimensional humans that have had past experiences and cultural approaches amongst other things, it does not have to resonate with you since this is in no way related to anyone reading it (unless you are a member of BTS in which case, get out of here lol ) This is just for entertainment purposes.

OKAY NOW THAT THAT’S OVER by default, Venus and Mars could give us an insight into their love styles, but I’ve already got reading about those here, here, and here 

We are going to use those BUT I’ll focus on their EROS (if you want me to do actual research and post a full love life analysis for each member, let me know in my ask)

SO BASICALLY THIS IS BTS’  FLIRTING STYLE ACCORDING TO THEIR VENUS, MARS, AND EROS. 

Kim Seokjin ʕっ˘ڡ˘ςʔ

I feel like a dad joke to tune into the other person’s humor is his way to go.

His Eros in Scorpio points to someone blunt in his approach, so something along the lines of overly flirting pick-up lines.

His Cancer Mars points to his overall romantic self so if Kim Seokjin is flirting with you prepare to live a drama scene where you feel like the only person in the world.

His Capricorn Venus reinforces the fact that this man is straightforward when flirting, and is very VERY selective as to who they approach.

So all in all, these three placements tell me that Kim Seokjin is a man that loves the fact that people are so multidimensional and he is here for it! he wants to know everything about the person he decided to approach because this man’s standards are over the top and he knows it. 

There's a lot of talking involved while getting to know each other, although he drops facts about himself here and there along with some funny storytimes, he will make it all about you.

A gentleman at his finest, drop you by your house, make sure you’re not cold, that you’re enjoying your food, that you’re comfortable.

This man’s way into your heart is ultimately his actions + his humor.

Min Yoongi  /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\

He’s... silent. Kinda shy, okay very shy, unless you gave off a great vibe, you’re not getting past awkward introductions and anxious small talk.

If you make it past introductions(because let’s be real, this man’s standards? impossible to fulfill), you’re in for a ride.

His Eros in Capricorn makes him crave to connect in a physical sense, even if it’s just hand-holding during dates, funny enough, this placement is the hardest one to make him open up so.. he’s not talking much about himself.

EVEN FUNNIER his Aries Venus points to someone bold and confident, which I can totally see him doing, the first move if he sees someone that plays into his idea of perfection.

Idk why it just strikes me as he knows what he wants from people, he’s not afraid of a challenge and chase, and his boldness as well as need for physical touch, makes him a great candidate for a fun short term, especially since his Eros signals that he pretty much values work more than love life.

Yoongi is... very much handled by his ego self, so he might be aloof at times, it has to do with his terrible high standards, a somewhat fear of intimacy and love for his work that keeps him from any type of social life (because he values work too much), but this man is also very romantic, and a great listener, as it is told by his Cancer Mars.

It’s all a matter of getting through his hard skin to get to the mushy Yoongi he doesn’t let many people experience.

Jung Hoseok ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ

This man loves a challenge, the thrill of the chase, not very healthy if you ask me but hey, you do you.

Playing hard to get will most certainly interest him. As well as letting him help you so he can “save the day”. This is all according to his Aries Eros. 

True to his Eros, his Aquarius Mars makes him be the biggest fan of flirting, and he obviously succeeds, thanks to his huge charisma and wittiness. 

LISTEN- THIS MAN as oblivious to affection as he is, can flirt with a whole group of people at once.

Free-spirited and quick-witted people are his cup of tea since it makes it easier for him to keep the flirting flow going.

I know I’ve said it many times before in this post, ISN’T IT FUNNY his Pisces Venus points to him being shy and awkward but cute, which I think pretty much describes Hobi, minus the shy.

So all in all, Hoseok flirting magnet, he is all smiles and will fill your heart with cute stuff and funny things, also, KING of not giving off mixed signals, he doesn’t even have to say a word, he flirts with his whole body.

KIM NAMJOON “φʕ•ᴥ•oʔ

THIS MAN BEING AN EROS IN LIBRA MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. He has a more traditional sophisticated way of flirting, kinda like courting.

It also makes him very giving, up until the relationship is off-balanced, then things end, so yeah, he likes to give, but he also likes to receive just as much. 

Also, very much into intelligent refined people. 

Just like Yoongi and Jin, he has a Cancer Mars, which only heightens his leaning towards traditional love and courting.

He will be devoted even when flirting, wanting to know everything about the other person, even on the first date, just- very very soft Joonie.

Lowkey, as poised as he is, his Scorpio Venus will give everyone a run for their money on terms of flirting. This man knows whats he's doing and how much he affects the person he is flirting with.

He’s just- so used to flirting and connecting with people that he doesn’t have an outcome in mind, just finds flirting fun and exciting.

Basically, Namjoon is a man that knows what he wants and how to get it, but flirting stages are just so common to him, he does it out of boredness, not that he doesn’t want to connect with people, quite the contrary, he finds people so amazing, it’s just- flirting doesn’t have an endgame for him.

Might I dare to go as far as to say, Kim Namjoon might end up in a relationship by accident just because he didn’t know when to end his constant flirting. 

PARK JIMIN  •᷄ɞ•᷅ 

His Eros in Pisces makes him one of the more emotionally passionate of the bunch, to an unhealthy state, in which he may manipulate himself in order to satisfy the other person. 

There’s a lot of thought going into dates, small gifts “because they reminded me of you” and a lot of cute stuff. Very Very passionate.

He has a Scorpio Mars, so as much as he is passion-driven and very much into cute stuff, and believing that he should 100% merge with the other person, he knows what he’s doing when he flirts.

Different from Namjoon, Jimin doesn’t just flirt for funsies, he entertains the idea of love when flirting, future plans, meeting the parents, he can just see it all.

AND he also has a Scorpio Venus so he is definitely aware of all his flirting and how he affects the other person, especially since there’s a lot of sex appeal going into it.

Not so much a mystery himself, but he tries to be the perfect fit for all. Which might ultimately hide behind this perfect partner facade. 

This man doesn’t just end up in a relationship by accident, this man falls in love on accident.

KIM TAEHYUNG ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

We’ve got another one in love with the thrill of the chase.

Tae also has Eros in Aries, so there’s a lot of playfulness involved in flirting, from banter to playfully shoving the other person aside.

Might also be into dates where he can compete with you, like arcade, or something that he disguises as competition but he knows beforehand he’ll win.

Someone tell him it’s not healthy to crave impossible relationships, anyway, he’d love to be the shinning armor in his love story.

He has Capricorn Mars, which makes him have an honest, practical, and straightforward style of flirting.

The vibe check is real, so unless you pass it with flying colors, do not expect to be flirted with.

Although, his whole aura screams social and flirty due to his Aquarius Venus, which involves a lot of charisma and a great sense of humor. 

Just like Hobi, Tae can flirt with a bunch of people at once without even trying.

JEON JUNGKOOK  ₍ᐢ ̥ ̞ ̥ᐢ₎ ♥

Flirting for Jungkook is more of a mental game than an emotional one, according to his Eros in Gemini. 

Now listen, the nerdier, the better. But you would have to approach him first, as much as he enjoys the idea of talking to people, he doesn’t really do it that well.

Just like Jimin, he has Scorpio Mars, so in line with flirting being a mental game, he knows his game plan, his moves, he knows how people will react to them, he knows what he wants, and more importantly, how to get it.

He very obviously knows about his sex appeal and uses it as an advantage, even though at first he’s kinda awkward about it.

Much like Namjoon, he enjoys flirting so much that he doesn’t even need to have an endgame in mind. He likes to hear people talking about their passions and loves it even more if he learns a thing or to about it in the way, but his awkwardness comes through when he doesn’t really measure that most of the time when you flirt its because you’re interested in pursuing a romantic relationship.

His Libra Venus also plays the part, since it signals him being flirty and witty without even trying, just a man, his beauty, his charm, and his charisma. 

He’ll do anything possible to make you feel like you matter, even going as far as daring to hold your hand just because (which is a great pointer t know if he is really interested or just flirting bc he can)

Ultimately, his flirtation serves as a means to cheer themselves and other people up.

[vickyvicarious]

HP/DA:I

So let's just say Inquisition team falls through an eluvian and out the other side of the mirror of Erised or something, just for fun. Some thoughts on what follows:

Dorian is very much a Cool Nerd. I forsee him being wildly popular with the students for being cool, doing wordless magic, just straight up whacking people with his staff before they can react in an exhibition duel or whatever. He in turn is fascinated by time-turners, apparition, and transfiguration in particular. When he realizes no one knows HOW they do what they do, he flips a little bit. Buries himself in the library and snarks to seemingly competent teachers. Is summarily adopted by adoring Ravenclaws probably. Also mentions necromancy/blood magic, freaks some folks out, snarks about the familiar doubt of the evil Tevinter when they make nervous Dark magic noises.

Iron Bull intimidates the hell out of the wizards but Hagrid bonds with him very quickly. They bond over appreciating giant deadly animals (albeit in vastly different ways) and get drunk together.

Solas is somewhat like Dorian regarding interest in the way their magic works except rather... distressed/snobbish at the whole human supremacy deal and lack of elves. Also worried about if he can still reach the Fade. Primarily works on figuring out the eluvian/Erised deal to get back.

Morrigan also works on mirrors. Weirds out students, has quite an odd conversation with Luna, and through some series of event bonds with McGonagall because they turn into animals. Except Morrigan can do more than one and people are jealous. Also I feel Snape would recognize a fellow drama queen/significant pauses aficionado and there would be an unspoken respect there.

Sera is just gone. Surfaces like two days later, bosom buddies with Peeves. No one is surprised, but they are afraid.

Cole also sort of vanishes, but doing his usual thing trying to help students and everyone with their issues. Has a nice moment with Neville. Acquires a curious retinue of ghosts because they are immune to his forgetting thing and very confused by him. Trelawney does see him, thinks he will bring her visions probably, is thought of as weird by most everyone.

Blackwall is a little awkward with it all. Starts sort of just helping out with Hagrid's duties since he wants to be useful somehow. Offers to teach self-defence to students.

Vivienne fits into pure blood society like nobody's business. Has the Malfoys writing her respectful invitations to tea, refuses them and makes it look their fault effortlessly. All the Slytherin girls want to be her when they grow up.

Varric writing it allll down. Getting all the gossip indiscriminately, aka developing a nice information network via storytime with the students. Cassandra attempts to keep him under control and ends up getting goaded into playing Quidditch somehow. Blocks a Bludger basically barehanded and earns the Weasley twins' lifelong admiration.

Advisors talk shop with Dumbledore/the Order and are not impressed. Cullen suggests actual combat tactics, Leliana figures out Horcruxes in record time, and Josephine somehow manages to get Fudge/whoever to give the Inquisition government funding for very unspecific purposes. Dumbledore is more than a little bemused.

Inquisitor depends on race/personality etc. but I expect would find a thestral or hippogriff mount in the Forbidden Forest, and probably open a rift right on Voldemort at some point.

Speaking of some more group/general stuff:

Sera, Varric, and maybe Cole and Solas join SPEW.

Cullen, Cole, and Sera get very pissed about what's happening to Muggles and want to just go murder Voldemort in person. Why is that not an option again?

Vivienne and Cullen in particular have deep concerns about the whole magic school setup and just the hidden magic world in general. Trying not to be too obvious about it but at some point the "do your students just never get taken over by demons and slaughter everyone?" question does come up.

At some point there is a battle with Death Eaters, and after realizing they need them Cole just sneaks up and takes wands away. Cullen or Cassandra smite them which freaks them the fuck out, being temporarily turned into muggles.

Varric freelances for the Quibbler; sales skyrocket.

Hogwarts people fighting over where the DA characters would be sorted, with varying degrees of discreetness.

DA characters fanboying over hippogriffs, especially Blackwall. Josephine negotiating a deal to bring a herd back through the mirror (possibly thinking of a diplomatic gift to King Alistair?)

Cole would figure out the Horcrux in Harry thing basically right away, and maybe lightly murder him to get it out? Potential diplomatic difficulties there.

Death Eaters really into the idea of blood magic. Really really into it. DA team really into just killing them in battle which... maybe also causes diplomatic difficulties?

Cullen and Varric very impressed by Muggle tech, way more than all the wizard stuff. Do not understand why they would not want cars and electric lighting, wind up bonding with Arthur Weasley.

The Golden Trio being highly suspicious for a while, except Ron thinks Dorian is really cool and wants fire spells now, Hermione respects all the studying into magical theory and also everyone who validates SPEW, and Harry sees Sera prank Snape and get away with it. So there is a certain admiration there instead before long.