#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back

[under-loch-n-key]

Hi everyone. Obviously everyone has seen the news and read the polls and obviously you can tell that we’re likely cooked.

For some reason our country wants to elect the Mango Menace and his gaggle of orange stained goons once again.

I am terrified for myself, my loved ones, my country, our climate, and just everything.

However, I’d like to tell the LGBTQIA+ community these things because I know we are terrified right now.

What happened today, it’s devastating. It angers me too. Some of my closest family voted for that horrible man. I don’t think I can look at them the same way anymore. Especially, when they hold no guilt or remorse about it even after I explained his policies to them. What do I know, I guess.. 🤷🏻‍♂️🙄

However, as a queer, trans man in this little community, I want ALL of the LGBTQIA+ people who will see this post to know that things will be alright. We all have each other. We know we exist here in the states even if none of us have met. We EXIST.

Just because those orange stained dunderheads want to silence us doesn't change the fact that we exist. We do. We always will. Bigotry cannot fight facts and science. We'll always exist. The only time trans people won't exist is when the human race dies out. Even then, we have other animal species that are queer and trans. No matter what, we will always exist in nature. They cannot change that. They cannot take that from us. Do not lose hope. Even though it's really fucking hard not to.

Do not lose it. The fact that you and I exist is a beacon of hope to another trans and queer person. We exist. None of us want to be left here alone. So we must go on. We must continue to exist. Things WILL be okay. I'll always keep fighting and living for you and every one of my trans and queer brothers, sisters, and siblings.

You existing and simply being here is a beacon of hope to me. Someone who has understands how I'm feeling. Someone who is LIKE me but so different at the same time.

In the grand scheme of the universe, we are very small. However, even though it's small, the fact is that it EXISTS. It's so fucking small in this big void of the cosmos but we're here. We're made of similar components as stars, ones that had to die for us to exist.

I like to think of the sky as when humanity was truly equal. When we were just atoms in the big ol' void, ya know? We didn't fight. We didn't give a shit about all of this stuff. We were allll different types of stars and matter. We were all random as hell, but we just WERE. We coexisted peacefully together in the universe.

Now that those stars are dead as a door nail and some dumb fishy bastard decided to get curious and walk on land, we're all human. Humanity fucking sucks ass sometimes but it's also such a beautiful fucking thing. No matter what happens, a part of us will always exist.

Our existence is embedded in the universe. Nothing can change that. So, please keep living. Be safe, but keep living. Always keep fighting. We belong here just like anyone else.

You belong. You are loved. You are cherished. You are noticed by me and other people here. We all understand each other. So keep going. Again, one day we will all have a better tomorrow. I swear to fucking god or whatever the hell is out there, if anything, however it's unlikely, I will ALWAYS keep fighting for you and WITH you.

Every protest l attend. Every petition I sign. Every time I vote. Every time I go to pride. Every time l simply leave my home as I am. I am doing it for you and all of us. Our people WILL have our damn tomorrow. I'm sick of us not having it. I swear to you we will. So, again, please keep going. Keep fighting. Keep living. Exist. Your existence may be a threat to some bigoted fucker but your existence is precious to someone else. Please do not let them take your right to exist away from you. Keep going.

We’ll have a better tomorrow, the one that we deserve eventually, but we just need get through the hard, bumpy, dirty road first.

Again, we will be okay. Everything will be okay. We’ll get through it. Yes, unfortunately, we will likely see suicide rates and hate crime rates go up and that's disgusting and just all types of awful and depressing. It angers me beyond words.

However, we are strong.

We shouldn't have to be strong though.

What we should be and need to be is loved, accepted, warm, fed, have shelter, and are safe.

For now though, we remain strong. You will always have a place here.

You will live. You will not die, hun. I know the thought creeps in and believe me, I understand. Those thoughts creep in for me too, but we must learn to try to control them. If there's anything I know about us trans and queer folk it's that we're strong, feisty, kind, very sexy, and cheeky as hell. So, if we live, we live because it's our damn right and to be spiteful. We do not owe the people who want to harm us our lives. We just don't. We deserve healthcare. We deserve to love and get married.

We deserve to grow old.

You will grow old. You will be able to go on those trips you've always wanted. You will be able to have that cheesy romance you've always wanted, if you are someone who is wanting a relationship.

You'll be able to sit down and watch your favourite movie. Why? Because you stayed. You didn't give up. Ever. We will always exist.

We will ALWAYS live.

Being transgender has existed before humans even walked this earth and it will still exist when all of us book our holy bus tickets and the blessed holy tax collector comes to collect our debted souls. No matter what, we will live on. They can silence us all they want and erase whatever the fuck they want but that doesn't mean that it's the truth. We're HERE.

We've been here since forever ago. Those Cheeto dusted dunderheads cannot change that. Like I told another person here, other animals and even plants are trans and queer! We've always been here. That won't change, hun.

Everything WILL be okay. We'll always survive and live on. Look at how far we've come in these past years. Many of us thought that we'd be gone already but here we are, two trans people typing away in comment sections on an app where middle age men get off to octopus porn and neko ladies in Japanese school girl outfits because men. and welcome to the internet, I guess. Lmao.

Everything will work out on way or another. We'll have our tomorrow, hun. For now, we gotta buckle down because we're in for a bumpy ride but hey, thankfully on bumpy you have those moments where ya hit the bump just right and you're like

"WOAH, HELLO!- mister bump, you better watch yourself, you saucy boy~ You can't be doin' that. You better take me to dinner first." Lmao. Okay, on a more serious note, we just gotta buckle down together and get through this bumpy ass dirt road because after awhile you make it through that rocky dirt road in the woods and come out to feel smooth pavement again. It'll be alright. We just need to band together and make it through. We all are always stronger together. You're not alone, my friends.

You're talkin' to a guy who has the personality of a gay muppet with a big mouth. I'm shocked nothin’ has happened to me yet with my yappy ass screeching and getting over 80+ gay people to start baa-ing like sheep at a bigot at last year's pride event, but that's a wholeeeee different situation.

My point is, we'll be okay. We'll make it through.

You'll survive. You have me. You have everyoneeeee here and on other social forums. Sure, it's not the same as in-person interactions but it's somethin'. It’s better than nothing I guess. If we’ve gotta go stealth mode eventually and make secret groups for us trans and queer folk, then so be it.

Just do whatever you feel you need to do to keep yourselves safe.

We'll have a better tomorrow. We just need to keep pushing through this rough shit. We'll get out of the woods and onto smooth pavement with open skies eventually.

Continue to exist. Fight. Be safe, but live. Live for yourself, fellow trans people, and simply for spite.

Fuck bigots. Not actually though. Like DON'T fuck them. Who knows where they've been. But fuck them. They're not worth your life. Their bigotry is not worth your life. Live because it's your right.

Those guys are all so far up Donald Trump’s ass he fired his doctor and hired his supporters to give him a colonoscopy.

So, live long. Live for love and live for spite, my friends. We'll get through this.

It’s Trump 2: Electric Boogaloo. SPOILER: The first movie sucked too. They even tried to make a third one — Mango Menace Strikes Back! We didn’t want to come to the theatre to see the second one but it was a class field trip that most of America signed for us. So, we’ve allll got no choice but to go on the trip to the cinema.

Anyways, things will be okay. We’ll make it through. We’ll out get it figured out. We always do. We’ll take care of each other. Everything will be alright. 🤙🏼💛⚧️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️✨

(Sorry for typos and repetitive speech- it’s 4:14 a.m. EST. 😭😭)

[porcelain-gal]

random things i've scripted

i never embarrass myself.

no one ever throws up on me.

no one ever hears me pooping.

everything works out in my favor.

all parties i go to are fun and lively.

people are always willing to help me.

i have my house address memorized.

i don’t get bad second hand-embarrassment.

i’ll never get a tattoo or body modification that i’ll regret.

i never get a stiff neck from laying, sleeping or sitting weird.

whenever i get cocky, it’s perfectly justified because i am that bitch.

my nails (both hand and toe) don't catch on or scrape against things.

i am never an angry or abusive drunk (i'm taking no risks with my bloodline.)

my ears never get damaged when blasting anything at a high or full volume.

grease isn’t hard to wash off of stuff and doesn’t leave stains on any of the dishes i use.

i can tell when an animal is showing specific kinds of behavior (e.g., casual, affectionate, hostile, etc.)

you can't shame me for shit. i always own the shit i've done with my chest and can acknowledge when i'm wrong.

all the places i stay, especially hotels, have completely soundproof walls unless i don't want them to be for a reason or i scripted a scenario or whatever.

the majority of humans commonly can live up to 200 (i'm not human in most of my drs and ion want my human friends just dying on me too quick.)

i'm pretty good at regulating my emotions and i never let them get out of hand to the point where i'm impulsively or thoughtlessly hurting someone or something.

i enjoy rollercoasters, fair rides, etc., and have no fear of them. plus all of the ones i go on are completely safe, stable, and fully-functioning and no one ever gets hurt on them.

my disorders rarely cause me issues with physical intimacy (sexual and non-sexual) and if they do, there's always simple ways around the issues that doesn't really inconvenience me or anyone else.

whenever i commission someone or pay for a service, i always pay exactly on time or sometimes even before. i never allow people that work for me or give me any kind of service go unpaid or unsupported.

none of my friends, followers/fan, family members, or anyone i am currently aquatinted with or will be aquatinted with ever had a racist/homophobic/sexist/etc phase nor do they support/defend that type of thing.

i never slam any part of my body into doors, windows, books, and vice versa (i slammed my finger into my grandma's front door once and it took literal years to turn back to its normal color. plus it hurt like shit so NEVER again.)

any online creator who has harmed, is harming, or is attempting to harm any other creator without valid and justifiable reasoning has their platform taken away and can never get said platform back nor are they able to rebrand and start over.

i always give the best advice for people when they ask me things. like the advice i give leaves people with new perspectives and hope and all. and i also deliver it in a very good way that doesn’t offend or make people or uncomfortable or feel like they’re being berated or whatever. it’s just incredible advice delivered in the best way without sounding bad or sketchy.

anti-shifter, proship/profic, ageplay, pro ana, bigot/incel, and any variation dni

[foxgloveinspace]

I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.

[doctorweebmd]

I was thinking about this the other day and wondering why it’s become so much less fun to write for BNHA and I think it’s because… I’ve written too much?

Like being a one-off author was fine and fun and novel and people were so cool and supportive, but now I’ve got multiple long fics and people have started treating me like someone that “creates content” rather than someone who is writing for fun. And I’ve shot myself in the foot by continuing to write long-fic and putting my heart and soul into them and it’s like never enough, people just expect more and more and more and I want to keep giving and keep doing better but no matter what I write it’s just not ENOUGH

And like… this started a little after I finished Zero Sum Game but like… people have started forming “opinions” that they share openly about “me” - I can’t stand going into fandom space and seeing people say they can’t read anything I write, or they don’t like me as an author, openly ranking my works, saying xyz is overrated or mention me by name in shipping discourse or send me hate mail or update requests or just straight up telling me they’re not going to read what I write anymore… and these people don’t know me!!! I’m just an empty space to them!!! Just a machine that pumps out thousands on thousands of words to just look at an forget about instantly!!!!!!!!

Where do people get off honestly. Is it like this everywhere or is it just BNHA? Is it because it’s so popular that the community has broken down completely? Sincerely what the fuck how can anyone treat writers like this…

[persephoneflouwers]

-

[thegreatestheaver]

uhghghfh I need to cut off someone in my life so bad but I just don’t know how to do it

[rodismancave]

.

[madigoround]

🙃

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : I’m back!! am i still sick? yeah a lil~ But I can finally look at my phone 🥹. Thank yall for waiting and supporting NOTP series 🧡.

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Warnings : Cursing, Grammatical Errors

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

< Previous | Part 7 | Next >

“I have nothing to say to you”

“Ok, then let me do the talking. Y/N I’m really sorry”

“Lando, you apologizing wont make what you did go away! Can’t you just leave me alone??”

“I will, I promise… i just want to end everything correctly… please let me. Y/N please”

“i’m already happy Lando.”

“I know that Y/N and I’m happy for you! I don’t want everything to be awkward with Oscar when we do see each other.”

“For Oscar…”

Y/N. 3m

story replies

oscarpiastri am i crazy or is the coffee we make in your flat better than this??

Y/N. No lie youre so right, this coffee lowkey is not it.

oscarpiastri I thought I was tweakin. Where are you btw?? I left for the bathroom for 3 mins and ur gone??

Y/N. uhh… im looking for popcorn :DD

oscarpiastri How aren’t you getting a stomachache with the things you eat baffles me .

Y/N. Ion know myself dude 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m amazing like that

oscarpiastri well no need to look, they have it at the plane. I asked John if the plane stocked popcorn and yes they do

Y/N. Really? You’re literally the bestttt 🥺🫶

Y/bf Y/N L/N when I found out that you’ve died from caffein overdose I wont even be surprised 😀

Y/N. I just wont die, simple as that my dearest best friend.

Y/bf just have fun and give em hell 🤭 . Oh! my chocolates dont forget!! Safe travel luv 🫶

Y/N. Oh they wouldn’t know what hit em. I will bring chaos . I wont forget your chocolates y/bf!!. And thank youu

maxverstappen1 Y/NNnnnnnnnnn I’m sorry 😩

Y/N. Sorry? and you are?

maxverstappen1 I changed my password already! Plsss do not be mad >:((

logansargeant Y/N are you going to the raceeeee???!!

Y/N. well yes I am American Boi

logansargeant why am i always the last to know?!!

Y/N. Sorry (Lmao I’m not)

logansargeant Ur so mean to me >:((

oscarpiastri

story replies

Y/N. 🧡🧡🧡

oscarpiastri food was 🔥 music was 🔥 the pretty girl held my hand also 🔥.

Y/N. Is it safe to assume you liked everything then…. 🫣

oscarpiastri YES i did! I’d wife you up if you’d let me.

Y/N. I haven’t met your family yet SIR. 🤨

oscarpiastri That wasn’t a no. If the last song in your album wasnt a proposal…. 🤭

Y/N. OK! you win. Be grateful I love you. Now stop looking at ut phone you need to focus on your debriefing! I could ser John glaring at you rn!!

charles_leclerc is that Y/N’s Unreleased album????!!!

oscarpiastri why yes father, it is 😌.

charles_leclerc and you and Y/N are not letting me listen?? HOW DARE YOU TWO 😭

oscarpiastri Sorryyy . I get first listens ~ you wait for the release of Heartbreak club like the otherss😛

charles_leclerc even Alex is freaking out!!! comeonnn Son. Just 1 song plsss.

oscarpiastri ask Y/N 🙂‍↕️ She’s the genius behind this masterpiece (that i get to listen to whenever i want 😛😛😛)

charles_leclerc I will revoke your adoption! Oscar Jack Piastri-Leclerc.

logansargeant Heartbreak Club??? Isnt that the name of you and Y/N’s club for people who got cheated on

oscarpiastri the very same HAHAHAHAHA

logansargeant so its about Lando cheating???

oscarpiastri Yes and No… and I’m not allowed to elaborate further!

logansargeant Boi without me there wouldnt even be a club with you and Y/N~ mate yall owe me 🥰😀

f1wags

liked by user1 , user2, and others

f1wags Oscar and Y/N are already in Belgium🫶 .

user1 Oop, is Y/N going to attend the race 🫣

user2 Ohhhh I really hope so! Plss plss

user3 I really miss Y/N in the paddock. Miss ma’am pls mark your territory! Ion like that other girl there 🤡 Ur tainting the McLaren brand pls exit the premises.

user2 The height difference is so 🥰🫶🧡

user3 I offer myself as their child or their pet I dont care. Pls just have me

user4 Their future child would be troy bolton i swear. To sing or to do sports 😩

user5 HAHAHAHAHAHHA I could so imagine it.

user6 BET ON IT!

user7 I SAW THEMMM 😭 they were do cute I can’t!! Y/N was so busy yapping and Oscar was just smiling at her and nodding. Boi is just happy to be there, Oscar same.

user8 I still cant believe that Osc knows the tracks inside Y/N’s album

oscarpiastri

liked by Y/N., mclaren, charles_leclerc , carlossainz55, and other

oscarpiastri Touch down and Landed 🛩️ Excited to get behind the wheel!

charles_leclerc what is with you and spa (wdym landed?? you’re literally here since Tuesday??)

alexandrasaintmleux let him have his fun, babe.

Y/N. Yeah! have your own timeline Lechuck

oscarpiastri listen to the ladies, Mate. It’ll do you good.

charles_leclerc I love my life and the people in it 😀

mclaren Locked and Ready 💪 Let’s go for Podium!!

user1 LETS GO OSC!!

user2 continue the podium streak champ!!

user3 Oscar future WDC , i’m calling it

user4 Oscar looks extra pookie todayyy 🥰

user5. Ah Y/N effect 🙂‍↕️~ I see your man girl!

user6 Y/N’s influence on Osc is really showing fr. Ma’am ur doing amazing work!

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jdebbiel

Deb JJ Lee is a non-binary Korean artist based in Brooklyn, NY. They have appeared in the New Yorker, New York Times, NPR, Google, Radiolab, and more. Their award-winning graphic memoir, IN LIMBO, about mental illness and difficult relationships with trauma, released in March 2023 from First Second.

Below is our interview with Deb!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

That implies I am over my art block, but I’m still in it! I think about Kiki’s Delivery Service a lot and how she had to stop doing a thing, and that you can’t really force it, and you have to let it come back to you. It’s a pretty humbling moment, realizing there is more to life than just drawing. I’ve been trying to consume other content like reading or watching movies—anything that is not drawing-related—and to trust that it will come back to me. I think not being afraid to do the small pieces before committing to the big pieces is helpful. Because big pieces are what I am known for, I dig myself into a deeper hole, thinking that each piece has to be bigger than the last one. So yeah! Relaxing and doing the small things before overcommitting to a big piece is the best way to go about it for me.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I feel like these are all artists that I have second-degree connections with! Jillian Tamaki, Victo Ngai, and Tillie Walden would be my picks!

What are your file name conventions?

…What file name conventions? I mean, I don’t have specific file name conventions, but I actually have a public Google Drive archive! But I usually put “djjl_whatever-the-title-is_final,” and I would always know it’s the final and legit version.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I did an illustration for the whiskey brand Johnnie Walker. It’s so wild because I only had four days to finish it, and it usually takes me a week and a half if I rush. And honestly, it’s probably one of my best pieces from this year, which is funny. It was for the Mid-Autumn festival, so I made it as Korean as possible.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

I only use my iPad to draw everything now, and if I want to pretend that I have a steady workstation, I’ll use my Cintiq. I still am not as comfortable on the Cintiq as I am on Procreate, but it’s still pretty solid and nice. That’s the good part about technology. The bad part about technology is how AI art has been messing things up for me. I’m currently in a lawsuit about AI art as a class rep. Some of my stuff got turned into AI art late last year, so I have to give a deposition at some point. 

What is a convention experience that has stuck with you?

Honestly, they’re all good! I feel like Lightbox Expo has been really nice because it’s truly been a convention for artists. I feel like that’s where most of my audience is, and they’re all around because their purpose is to be better at art. That’s where a lot of original artists do well because they’re getting art they’re inspired by, not so much fanart. I like the Lightbox Expo because it encompasses the pure love of art very well. 

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Use a Y axis, not just your X axis! Take advantage of it! Branding is also something to think about. It is definitely something I’m getting better at. Having an assistant is also very important. I’ve also heard that 8.5x11 to 12x18 inches is usually a good size for prints, but I also provide postcard-sized prints because sometimes people don’t want to commit to a larger size. 

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

You know this is so funny. I’ve been following @alicexz for over a decade on Tumblr and other platforms. I’ve followed her work since high school, and we’ve only recently become peers. I found her, and we met for the first time in real life, and she recognized me. And then I found all my drawings from when I was in my Alice phase, back in high school, and I was like, “Yo, this is when I was trying to be you so badly!” and she was cracking up and was like “Wow, this is so good!” It was such a sweet moment. I wanted to take a picture of her holding my drawing up. It’s really nice because now we’re peers.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Deb! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jdebbiel.

[basketonthedoorstepofthefbi]

Hello!!! I have a request if that’s okay with you. 💕

Would you maybe write a Spencer x quiet!reader? Where she doesn’t have the courage to talk to him because she’s too shy?

I don’t really have a plot in mind so that’s up to you!! I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with any ideas but hopefully it lets you write whatever you want. Thank you for taking the time to read this. And I read your other stories, you’re so underrated and amazing I love your wording when you write. 🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻

Hi Mary!! Thank you so much for your kind words c:

I did my best c: I hope you like it!

Round Table (Spencer Reid x shy!gn!reader)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x shy!gn!reader (if not gn please let me know, but I'm fairly certain it is!)

Word Count: 1538

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, but besides that none?

A/N: this was so fun c: i am really enjoying challenging myself with your guys' requests. hope you enjoy!!

------

You were an incredibly anxious person, which, honestly, was okay. You tried not to let your anxiety hinder your life too much, but like any other human being, sometimes it got in the way. It was frustrating, sure, knowing that a situation would be so much easier if you weren’t so anxious about it, but you reminded yourself often that you weren’t perfect, and neither was anyone else. 

Some people were afraid of heights, of the ocean, of needles. Some people had trouble going out into crowds or grew overstimulated in public places. 

You? You were painfully shy. There was always an adjustment period to being around new people.

Baristas, the bus driver, pharmacy techs, cashiers at the grocery store - you did just fine. But those were one-time interactions, brief discussions that you could compartmentalize. 

They came with a script to follow, with cue cards already queued up in your head as they occurred. You could put on an emotional mask for five minutes while the nurse at the clinic gave you a flu shot. You could smile and speak in your special voice labeled Getting Coffee, an octave higher than you usually spoke, in order to acquire your much-needed beverage. There was a clear goal in mind with each of these dialogues. Sure, you didn’t present as the most confident person in the world, but you always made it through conversations like these without stumbling over your words or being too terribly awkward.  

You didn’t succeed as much with deeper connections, with ones that took time to cultivate. You were a guarded person to begin with, with only a handful of people you felt truly close to. Vulnerability had always been difficult for you, but you supposed you were in the majority on that front. It took a while to become comfortable around coworkers, extended family, hell, even your therapist. You had to have time to adjust, to settle in. 

A lot of people in your life thought you were just socially awkward or even an agoraphobe, but you didn’t mind being around people. It was the intimacy, the connection, the having to give away little pieces of yourself, that made you anxious. It kept you from participating in conversations most of the time, usually only speaking unless spoken to. 

You liked your job as a linguistics and handwriting analyst in the FBI for that very reason. You didn’t have to say much  to people unless it was related to a case. With a clear goal in mind, a threat to neutralize, you could turn on that mechanical part of your brain that spouted off facts, information, theories. You didn’t have to tell anyone about your weekend, about your hopes and dreams or your favorite foods. 

You were consulting on a case for the Behavioral Analysis Unit - a serial killer who stalked his victims months before their murders, sending handwritten letters and using poetry to taunt them. Your supervisor had asked you to collaborate with the BAU, sending you to the sixth floor on your own. 

For the last two days, you’d been working closely with Dr. Spencer Reid - Spencer, he insisted you call him. Just a couple of years older than you, but still very young for his role in the FBI. He was friendly,  and very smart, and he rambled on about all kinds of things - 

Everything, actually. The Chinese food you’d had for lunch on the first day? He explained the origin of fortune cookies. Did you know their first appearance in the US was in San Francisco in the late 1800s? 

Pointing out a Dickinson line in one of the UnSub’s letters? Did you know only ten of Emily Dickinson’s poems were actually published when she was alive and the rest were posthumous? 

You often just nodded along and smiled, occasionally throwing in an oh, that’s very interesting to appear as an active listener. And you were an active listener. You did genuinely think he was interesting, and you found his info dumps to be incredibly endearing. But your contributions to the conversation were abysmal in comparison.

Beyond discussing patterns in the UnSub’s letters and what it might mean for each victim, you had no other fascinating information to share. You didn’t do well with small talk, and Spencer didn’t ask you any overtly personal questions. 

It wasn’t until close to the end of the second day spent in the conference room of the BAU’s office that Spencer asked you a direct question about yourself. 

There were three evidence boards set up, all full of scanned copies of the letters, each one pinned up meticulously by you and Spencer the day before. The large round table in the room had letters stacked out all around it, each one bagged in protective plastic. 

Spencer was standing in front of the evidence boards with his arms crossed over his chest, studying the photocopies with his head inclined to the side. 

He broke the silence you had been slowly settling into the past two days. “Your supervisor said you had a specialization in poetry?” 

You nodded, stepping over to the table and carefully lifting one of the letters up. You liked how he spoke as if you two were in the middle of a conversation, when in fact, it had been totally silent for the past half an hour, save for the soft puttering of the air conditioning vent.

“Studied a lot in undergrad,” you squeaked out, clearing your throat as you held the letter up the fluorescent light above you to examine the stationary. 

“What university did you attend?” Spencer asked, and you turned your head to find him inclining his head to the side. He actually wanted to know? 

“I went to Bennington College to study poetry,” you said softly, suddenly finding it difficult to focus on the letter in your hand. “But I went to graduate school at Georgetown. Master’s in Linguistics.” 

“Really? That’s fascinating,” Spencer commented, which caught you by surprise, especially because he didn’t sound the least bit sarcastic. “That combination of degrees is exceedingly rare. Generally people who major in poetry often either go on to complete as far up as a doctorate in the subject or  they stop at a Bachelor’s degree. The latter statistically don’t end up working in a field related to poetry, either, so their degree is basically useless.” 

You weren’t sure if you were supposed to be offended by that, so instead you just nodded your head politely. “Okay,” you murmured, biting your lip. 

“Can I ask you another question?” Spencer asked, and set the letter in your hand down on the table. You smoothed your hands over the fabric of your shirt and nodded. “Do I… do I make you uncomfortable?” 

You shook your head. “No,” you said assuredly, and then, a little more hesitantly, “…why would you ask me that?” 

Spencer turned to face you. “You’re just very quiet unless we’re discussing the case. Which is fine, of course, but I just… I don’t know. I thought maybe you were annoyed by me or I said something to offend you.” 

You felt guilt spread over you and your cheeks turned pink. The last thing you’d wanted was to make anyone feel bad who didn’t deserve it. And the very kind, helpful, and adorable Dr. Spencer Reid was the furthest from deserving to feel bad. 

 “I just don’t talk a lot,” you tried to explain. Your hand rubbed the spot where the top of your chest met the skin of your neck, an anxious habit you’d had for years. “I mean, I do with people I know, and that’s not to say I dominate the conversation by any means, but I just…” you realized you were rambling. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” you added, your voice just above a whisper. 

“Thank you,” Spencer’s lips flickered into a straight-lined smile, one you had seen several times over the past few days, often when unintentional eye contact was made across the table. “For clarifying, I mean, that I didn’t offend you.” He cleared his throat, and leaned against the round table, standing just a few feet from you. Still a very professional and comfortable distance, but closer than he had been before. “So, does that mean that if we got to know each other, you’d talk more?” The corners of his lips spread out and his smile grew. 

You tore your eyes away from his to look at the letter in your hand, the protective plastic around it crinkling between your fingers. You weren’t actually looking at the letter, though. You’d just needed somewhere - anywhere - else to look. “That’s generally how it goes,” you murmured, biting your lip. 

“So, if I were to, for example, ask you to meet me for dinner sometime, could the getting to know each other happen there?” 

Your eyes fluttered over to Spencer’s and you saw him smiling. You could tell by how he looked at you, with his head inclined just slightly to the side, that he was being fully serious. You nodded, unable to control the small smile on your face. 

Spencer grinned, and you could tell he couldn’t resist when he spoke again. “So, is that a yes?” 

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’ve never had a particularly strong desire to get high. Altered mind states have always been somewhat unappealing to me. The only drug I’ve ever enjoyed taking was a prescription strength muscle relaxant that loosened all my knots at once and sent me into the boneless slumber of jello. Top marks.

But I have dabbled with pot. As I’m wildly sensitive to smoke my only recourse was to try edibles and anyone could’ve predicted this was a recipe for disaster. So here’s the story of the first time I got high.

Brendan was a major stoner. He was a high energy guy who loved hiking, had his shit together, and absolutely loved getting high and relaxing. One day he decided to make pot brownies. Brendan was an amazing cook in his own right but he came into my life at a time when I was eating mayonnaise sandwiches and started giving me real food so I viewed him as a paragon of cookery. He made amazing desserts. And he didn’t make a batch of no pot brownies.

I’d never had one of Brendan’s brownies, before, but dear god I wanted one when they came out of the oven in a waft of rich chocolatey smells. They were fudgey and perfect and all that I wanted in the world was to eat one. I watched him take a bite, burning with envy and desire.

Being high seemed like a small price to pay if only I could sink my teeth into the warm splendor of brownie. I came up to where he was sitting on the couch, slightly behind his left shoulder. “Hey. I want to try a bite,” I told him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” I was sure as fuck that I wanted that brownie in my mouth.

Brendan was sat facing the tv and held up his hand without looking so I could take a bite. I am not a creature of modest bites. And I wanted that brownie. I took a huge bite, carving into the interior of the brownie, leaving Brendan with a only a rim.

He pulled his hand back and saw the brownie crime I had committed and gave a resigned chuckle. “Well this is going to be fun.”

On one other occasion in my life I’ve tried an edible and there was a brief relaxed period before things went horribly wrong that made me think, this is probably where most people stop and enjoy themselves.

But on this occasion, the massive bite of brownie didn’t drift me slowly up through layers of being high. It skyrocketed me into high space with great prejudice. I have no memory of a middle point, I wasn’t high and then I was suddenly so high I couldn’t function.

I’ve heard people talk about paranoia. I didn’t have that. Some people mention nervousness, no, none of that for me. My mind was simply gone. A thought would blip to life on one side of my brain and fail to travel through the fog to find its conclusion. I couldn’t think. I wasn’t really experiencing sensation. I was nothing in the void.

When Brendan realized I’d been staring wall eyed at nothing for too long he said, “How are you doing?”

It took a long time to process the words and even longer to slur out, “I can see everything.”

I don’t remember him getting up and leaving, or waiting, or anything really. Thoughts flickered and died in my mindscape, meaningless and alone.

Then Brendan put headphones on me.

I was unable to conceive of anything as wonderful as music surrounding me, and thus began the only nice part of the trip. I might have experienced ego death but at least I had the ethereal sounds of Pure Reason Revolution to wrap myself in.

I’m not sure how long the nice phase lasted. But eventually something started going wrong in my mouth. My throat became uncomfortable enough to pierce the haze I was in. It was almost numb, and impossibly dry. I drank water to no avail. Finally I conceived of the solution. “Ice cream!” I demanded of Brendan.

He went to grab some and I was dismayed that when I took a bite the sensation in my throat intensified. “It made it worse,” I complained.

“Made what worse?” Brendan asked, because of course I hadn’t actually told him why I’d wanted ice cream.

When I told him what was happening he said, “Oh, of course ice cream is going to make cotton mouth worse.”

“Well then why did you give it to me!” I complained. He smiled fondly at my irrational grumping and got me more water.

Finally I’d had enough. Music couldn’t erase my discomfort, I was getting frustrated I couldn’t think but I was still high as balls and I wanted the night to be over. Brendan suggested I go to bed so I climbed up into my bed and lay there, uncomfortably high.

I couldn’t sleep. My throat was so cottony, a side effect I hadn’t known existed and I thoroughly loathed.

Then I thought: I could masturbate! Brendan had talked about enjoying that while high. I’d give it a shot. My body however was wiser than my head and was having none of this plan. It refused to respond, stubbornly insisting that now was not the time.

I doubled down, refusing to give up on this horrible idea and in a bitter struggle, and against my body’s own wishes, I produced an orgasm that rated a 0 on the pleasure scale. Something happened but it was like a resentful flex of muscles that stopped immediately.

Furious with the overall experience of being high I buried my head in pillows and finally slept. I told Brendan the next day about my attempt and he facepalmed so hard. “Why didn’t you just go to sleep! You were way too high to enjoy that.”

I grumbled and agreed that it was very stupid. I tried to weigh the single bite of brownie I had with the absolutely wretched hours of discomfort and while it didn’t quite balance it was still pretty close. It was a really good brownie.

[jinhyun]

—where we left off.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: fluff, very slight drama, pining, non-idol au, best friend’s brother au

word count: 7.4k

summary: spending new years’s eve at a club with your best friend’s brother and his friends sounded like a lot of fun. that until a certain girl felt like fighting you for him, and suddenly spending the countdown back at your place, just the two of you, sounded so much better.

warnings: mentions of alcohol

author’s note: hellooo, don’t come for me, as usual i couldn’t control myself lmao. this is kind of like part 5.2 of my social media au “heart out”, in case anyone who doesn’t follow the story comes across this one shot. i hope this manages to give you all some more context of what was going on behind the texts, and i hope you all enjoy! if you do please don’t forget to leave an ask or a comment with your thoughts on it<3

“You’re kidding”.

A single chuckle was heard in the hallway, where Hyunjin stood holding up a quite long puffer jacket of his for you to wear.

It was comical, actually — how you had opened the door for him with a smile adorning your face, only for it to be erased the second he flaunted the jacket in your face and you were hit with the fact that he was indeed not kidding when he told you earlier that day that he’d bring you a jacket if you decided you weren’t wearing one.

A part of him regretted it as soon as he saw you. You looked beautiful. You always did, but the dress you decided to wear that night could only make him feel like not taking his eyes off of you for even just a second; wishing he could throw the jacket to the side and act like he hadn’t brought it in the first place.

The most rational part of him, the one that could still manage to control himself around you, however, made him stand his ground. As stunning as you looked, the weather outside was just too cold for you to wear only a dress.

“As you can see,” he wiggled the piece of clothing in his hands. “I am not”.

“You really expect me to wear that?” You raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Unless you want to go get a puffer jacket of your own, yes”.

Rolling your eyes, you took a step outside your apartment and closed the door behind you, sliding your purse down your arm before you took his coat from him. “Whatever, I’m taking it off as soon as I enter the restaurant anyway”.

Holding your purse for you while you put the jacket on, Hyunjin couldn’t help but smile at the sight in front. You wearing his clothes made him feel something he had not quite felt before, and he could only rejoice in it and take it one step further by zipping the jacket up until it was covering your chin.

“I look ridiculous” you stated.

“You look cute” he reassured you, handing you your bag.

“You look handsome though, and I’m not matching your vibe anymore” you fought him once more, completely unaware of the power your first statement had over him.

Having to clear his throat in order to conceive the butterflies in his stomach, he gestured to the stairs, so you would start walking towards them.

“Let’s go” he said. “You can match my vibe when you take it off at dinner”.

The moment you stepped a foot outside, you were thankful that he forced you to wear it, but he wouldn’t catch you admitting it out loud, of course. Not like he needed you to anyway, for one look at you and the way you were hugging yourself while you waited for the taxi he called to pull over, was enough for him to smile proudly to himself.

And then, when you arrived to the restaurant and you didn’t immediately take it off like you claimed you would, he knew you’d found comfort in the warmth it was providing you with.

One of his friends spotted him from their table and waved at him, catching his attention, and only then, when you were walking towards a group of at least ten people, you began to feel nervous. It only intensified when you reached them and all their eyes focused on both of you.

Greeting everyone with a small bow, you walked around the table after Hyunjin motioned for you to go before him.

Thankfully, Han and Minho had saved two seats in between them, so you’d end up sitting in between Hyunjin and either one of them instead of next to any of their other friends you didn’t know.

As soon as you reached the empty seats, you threw Hyunjin a taunting smile.

“May I take this off now?” You motioned at the jacket he made you wear.

Hyunjin laughed, nodding his head and reaching out to help you slide it off your arms. “You’re putting it back on as soon as we’re done here, though”.

You visibly rolled your eyes at him, earning another light laugh of his as he placed it on the chair in front of him, and then pulled it out for you to sit down. It took you a second to get it, only doing so when his eyes met yours and he nodded his head towards the seat for you to sit down on.

You smiled sweetly, doing as told and then quietly thanking him when he took a seat next to you.

You realised then that, much to your relief, you had already been introduced to most of the people in there, thanks to that one birthday party they threw Hyunjin a few years ago, and some others you had seen on two or three of his social media posts.

The only new faces were two guys sitting by the left and a brunette sitting in front of you, right next to Haeun, a really nice girl you remembered talking to back at Hyunjin’s surprise party.

“Did you guys order already?” Hyunjin asked.

“Not yet,” Minho replied, handing him the menu. “But we already know what we’re ordering, so you better make up your mind fast”.

Chuckling under his breath, Hyunjin placed the menu in front of the two of you while his friends called the waiter to start ordering, so you could check out your options.

“Would it be too basic of me to just order tteokbokki?” You mumbled for only him to hear, still staring at the menu after having gone through everything in it. “Although donkatsu does sound really good right now”.

“The donkatsu here is amazing so I had that in mind, but now I’m torn between tteokbokki as well” he confessed with a breathy laugh, earning a chuckle from you.

“Should we order both and share them?” You proposed, looking up to him and watching a bright smile show on his face.

“Yeah, let’s do that”.

Sitting up straight right as everyone else was done ordering, Hyunjin handed the menu back to the waiter and proceeded to order what the two of you agreed on.

As soon as the waiter left, you felt all eyes fall on the two of you.

“So when were you telling us you got yourself a girlfriend?” One the guys you had never seen before asked him right away.

Hyunjin almost choked on air, feeling his face heat up while everyone stared at the two of you and you looked nearly frozen over that question.

“I’m not…” you began, looking over at Hyunjin as you didn’t really know what else to say.

“She’s Yeji’s best friend” Hyunjin finished your point.

“Oh? You guys must be very close then for you to bring her without your sister” Jihoo, if you remembered the name correctly, asked this time with a teasing smirk.

“Yeji’s out of town and Hyunie didn’t want me to spend new year’s eve alone” you explained.

“Yeah, I can tell you guys aren’t that close” the girl next to Haeun stated, her eyes going from you to Hyunjin. “Hyunjin hates being called Hyunie”.

“We are close, though” Hyunjin corrected her in a heartbeat. Had she not just seen you arrive together while you wore his jacket? “She can call me whatever she wants”.

Your head turned to Han next to you, who couldn’t hold back a snort and ended up choking on his water.

“Oh, so he’s like a little brother to you?” She asked you directly this time, and you managed to catch the not very subtle nudge Haeun gave her to shut up. “Is that why you call him that?”

“Can we talk about something else?” Han spoke before you could answer, having managed to catch his breath surprisingly fast. “Hyunjin’s love life has never been that interesting anyway”.

Although earning himself a smack from Hyunjin, it was enough to make the whole table laugh and move on to another topic — one that didn’t have to do with your and Hyunjin’s relationship status, and one that would definitely not end up with you possibly confirming to him that you saw him as a little brother. He really had to thank Han for that one.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly. Hyunjin’s friends were a lot of fun, you soon realised, to the point you found yourself laughing so much that you were able to ignore the nasty looks the girl in front of you —whose name you later found out was Dahye— would give you anytime you interacted with Hyunjin; which, considering he was sitting next to you and on top of that he was sharing dishes with you, were a lot.

It wouldn’t take a genius to understand that she was into Hyunjin and that it might be a problem that night given he had arrived with you, but you had more important things to care about rather than to pay attention to her anyway, like making sure you’d get along with Hyunjin’s friends so he wouldn’t feel like he had to check up on you to see if you were having fun every five minutes, and later that night racing him to pay for the check, only to be beaten by him.

The proud smirk that curved up his mouth while he paid for dinner was enough for you to peacefully accept your defeat and forget about the girl glaring at you from the side.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

By the time you made it to the club, which was only three streets away from the restaurant, as Hyunjin’s group had deliberately chosen one of the most popular areas not to need another car to get you there, it was already filled with people — the queue to enter being quite long, yet moving surprisingly fast.

Hyunjin found himself unconsciously tugging at the sleeve of your —his— jacket as soon as you made it inside, standing right behind you not to lose you in the crowd of people as you made your way past them. And it only hit him how close you were when you turned your head to him and your nose nearly brushed against his mouth.

“We should find the coat check” you said, coming closer to his ear for him to be able to hear you over the loud music.

He nodded, gulping hard before the two of you stood there looking around the place. When you found it not too far from where you were standing, you pointed at it, feeling Hyunjin nod behind you and telling something to one of his friends before taking off — although inaudible, you guessed it had to do with something along the lines of coming back to them right away.

“You know, this wouldn’t have been necessary if you’d just let me come without a coat” you taunted once on the desk, beginning to take it off.

Hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head while he took his jacket off as well, as it was way hotter than he’d expected inside the club. Much to your surprise, the black shirt he was wearing underneath, and which you had supposed was long-sleeved, was not. His biceps were fully displayed as he reached for your purse and the puffer jacket you were trying to fold, and you couldn’t help but stare while he handed the three items to the person behind the desk.

Putting the claim ticket inside his pants’ pocket, his eyes focused back on you, smiling shyly when he caught you staring.

“And then I’m the one who’s not appropriately dressed for the weather?” You raised a questioning eyebrow.

His previous shy smile turned into a smirk, gently turning you around and placing his hands on your bare shoulders so he could lead you through the crowd towards your group. “I was wearing a jacket”.

“It’s so not the same?” You turned your face to him once again, and he swore your unannounced proximity would be the end of him.

“I care about you not getting a cold, shouldn’t you be saying thank you?” He argued, pulling you closer to him when you almost bumped into someone.

“I looked ridiculous” you stated.

He begged to differ, you looked adorable. He would lend you his clothes every time he could, even if you weren’t being stubborn and didn’t really need him to at all.

“Besides, who says I don’t care about you catching a cold either?”

“I didn’t see you bringing me a jacket though?” He questioningly tilted his head.

You rolled your eyes. “You can wear the one you brought me once we leave. I’ll wear your other one”.

Hyunjin laughed under his breath, thankful for the loud music and bad lighting that allowed him to hide just how flustered he was over the simple thought of you leaving the club wearing the jacket he had come with. Sure, you came in wearing his puffer jacket, but there was something about everyone else seeing you leave in the jacket he was previously wearing, that sent butterflies flying all over his stomach.

“I’ll think about it” he tried to play it cool, earning a triumphant smile from you.

Seeing Han wave towards the two of you from near the bar, Hyunjin tightened his hold on your shoulders, redirecting your body in said direction before you saw him as well. Getting closer to the group, the two of you smiled in relief when you noticed they had managed to take over a booth.

“Where’s the rest?” He asked Han, realising only half of the group was there.

Jisung shrugged. “Some went to get drinks, some are dancing”.

Hyunjin gave him a quick nod before turning back to you. “I’ll go get us drinks” he informed you. “Cranberry vodka is it? Or do you want something else?”

“Cranberry vodka is perfect” you smiled, finding it the sweetest how he remembered such a small detail like your drink of choice. “Should I go with you?”

He shook his head no, motioning for you to take a seat. “It’s okay, I’ll be right back”.

You gave him a smile, nodding for him to go and watching him and Han disappear into the crowd before you sat down, sliding towards the empty spot next to Minho, who was already enjoying his drink.

“Having fun so far?” He tried to initiate small talk.

Your eyebrows furrowed, leaning slightly closer to him, as you had not been able to hear him. “What?”

“Are you having fun?” He spoke over the music.

You nodded, a smile curving up your lips. “Yeah, you guys are fun. Although I’ve mostly been glued to Hyunie all night, which must be annoying”.

Minho chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. If you only knew, you being stuck to him was all Hyunjin ever wanted.

“Nah, he’s okay with it” he reassured you. “He was really excited about you joining us”.

Your smile brightened, feeling like a weight had just been lifted off your shoulders. “That’s good to know…” you mumbled more to yourself.

“Hey, we’re going to dance!” Haeun caught your attention from the other side of the booth, gesturing to herself and another girl next to her. “You wanna come?”

You politely denied with a smile. “I’m waiting for Hyunjin, maybe later!”

They both smiled back at you, standing up and rushing towards the rest of the group.

“Aren’t you joining the rest over there?” You asked Minho, catching on the way he was looking at them as well.

“Probably will once the alcohol hits” he confessed with a small smirk, getting a light laugh from you.

“Oh, so you’re into Minho then” a female voice spoke loudly from right behind you.

Turning around, you were met with Dahye, who was now sitting down next to you and staring at you with what you could recognize as a cynical smile.

Now, you didn’t have a problem with her so far, but the way it was becoming a habit of hers to make assumptions about your relationships with people was really beginning to annoy you.

“What?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You’re not into Hyunjin but into Minho” she took a sip of her drink. “I’ve got nothing to worry about then”.

“I’m not into anyone” you clarified.

“Good, because Hyunjin and I have a thing going on, so it’d be really messed up for you to come in between” she mindlessly played with the straw. “Not like he’d pay attention to you anyway, you seem way too mature and he’s into girls more his age, like me”.

Before you could reply, a very loud scoff was heard from Minho.

“Is bullshit all that ever comes out of your mouth?” He practically yelled over the music, getting dumbfounded looks from the rest of his friends in the booth.

Her mouth remained shut, shrugging ever so nonchalantly before she took another sip of liquor. Minho rolled his eyes, standing up and motioning for you to slide to his previous seat, so he could take your place instead and keep Dahye from interacting with you anymore.

“Don’t listen to her, she’s just jealous” he leaned in to say in more of a whisper.

Choosing to say nothing and to just let it slip, you nodded understandingly. In all honesty, though, you hardly understood what was going on.

Minho said that she was jealous, and you got that, it was clear that she had a thing for Hyunjin and it must’ve sucked to see him arrive with someone else. You knew you would’ve felt the same had you been in her shoes. But you had already explained that you were Hyunjin’s sister’s best friend, and that the only reason he invited you was because she was out of town. On top of that, you had also just made it known that you weren’t interested in anyone — not Hyunjin, not Minho, not any of their friends at all. So why wouldn’t she just drop it?

You disliked the way she was handling the whole situation, but you tried to understand her. The side of you that knew what it felt like to have feelings for someone and fear they were into someone else, tried its best to sympathize with her.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Hyunjin arrived, loudly announcing that Han had stayed back and joined the rest of the group on the dance floor.

His previous smile faltered and his eyebrows furrowed when he realised that not only had Dahye joined your side of the booth, but also that you and Minho had switched places. One single look at his very annoyed friend, however, was enough for him to guess the whole picture.

Just as you had done a minute ago, he decided to say nothing, instead handing you your drink and smiling when you thanked him and squeezed up against Jihoo next to you, to make some space for him.

“Everything alright?” He asked, unable to hide his worry.

“Mhm…” you took a sip of your drink. “Apparently I’m into Minho now”.

“Wait, what?”

Minho nudged him to catch his attention before he could fully panic. “That’s what your admirer accused her of”.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes. That was one hell of a jump scare you just gave him.

“Why’d she think that anyway?”

“We were just talking and I guess we got too close since we couldn’t hear each other” you explained, chuckling to yourself when you realised you were just as close to Hyunjin now. “Just like we are now, she must be back to thinking I’m into you”.

Now, that was something he could deal with; Dahye —or anyone else for that matter— believing you were into him. That simple thought made him happy enough to let it slide just how close you had apparently been to his friend minutes ago.

A bright smile parted his lips, trying to play it cool by taking a sip of his drink, only for it to be erased the moment Dahye called him from next to Minho.

“Hyunjin, let’s go dance?”

He shook his head no. “I’m fine, thanks”.

“Yah,” you whispered-shouted, gently nudging him, which earned you a confused look by him. “Go have fun”.

“I am having fun,” he brought his drink up to his lips. “Right here”.

“Aw, come on” she insisted, reaching over Minho to hold Hyunjin’s wrist — needless to say, it took him less than a second to snatch his hand away. “You can still enjoy your drink on the dance floor”.

Not giving her an answer, his eyes fixed on you, and for some reason that was all it took for you to get it all wrong — because the scene you were seeing in front of you was the one of a girl who was head over heels for Hyunjin, trying her best to spend some time with him, and a very troubled Hyunjin who didn’t want to leave you alone. After all, he had invited you to join him and his friends that night, therefore, it was only rational that he’d think of it as rude to leave you all alone to go dance with someone else. Or so you thought.

So, not wanting to be the one holding him back, you did the most reasonable thing you could come up with in that moment: show him you could have fun on your own and he didn’t need to be glued to you making sure you were.

“Minho, you wanna dance?”

Not only did Minho’s head snap in your direction, but so did Hyunjin’s.

“Me?” He asked, taken aback as ever.

“Yeah” you smiled, already getting up to get out of the booth. “We can join Han and the rest”.

Feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, Minho’s first instinct was to look at Hyunjin, hopelessly looking for approval. Hyunjin, on the other hand, was too busy staring up at you to even notice his friend’s cry for help.

When he invited you to join them that night, he had completely overlooked the fact that you could end up bonding with someone else. He was blinded by the idea of him being the closest to you and therefore you not leaving his side, which was only intensified considering you’d been stuck together all night, but now you were asking Minho to dance with you instead of him, and he realised he had only played himself.

“Come onnn, the alcohol must be hitting at least a little bit by now” you teased him for his previous statement, motioning towards the dance floor.

“I mean, y-yes, sure” Minho stuttered, and only then, hearing his answer, Hyunjin’s glaring eyes fixed on him. “Maybe we could all go?”

His suggestion managed to calm Hyunjin down. Sure, he hated how Dahye was being included and how she’d most definitely end up dancing with him since you had asked Minho to, but it was the best his friend could do given the circumstances, and he was thankful for it.

“Yeah, let’s go” Hyunjin agreed, standing up as well and, much to his disappointment, being followed by a very happy Dahye.

He had definitely played himself.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Although your plan had partially failed, given you weren’t able to leave Hyunjin and Dahye alone, you were still decided to make the most of it and have a good time.

Nevertheless, roughly twenty minutes on the dance floor were enough for you to realise that having fun and ignoring Dahye’s behaviour towards you wouldn’t be as easy as it was during dinner. Because, although you did dance with Minho at first and she got to be with Hyunjin for a while, it only took a few minutes for the whole group to get together and end up goofily dancing around in a messy circle.

Hyunjin naturally gravitated towards you, and so did you towards him, for at the end of the day he was the one you came with and the one you wanted to be with the most, but every time he tried to talk to you over the music or just get closer to you for the sake of it, the girl next to him would try to draw his attention back to her.

You didn’t know whether to be annoyed or to feel bad for her, finding yourself acting oblivious to her poor attempts most of the time. It wasn’t your business anyway, but something she and Hyunjin had to figure out.

Even then, when she tugged at Hyunjin’s arm to pull him to her when you tried to come close to his ear in order to say something to him, you realised you had enough of this one-sided battle.

Gently grabbing his wrist right after he pulled away from her grasp and Haeun came to the rescue by making Dahye dance with her instead, you looked at the time on his watch. It was only a little past eleven, and you decided that was good enough for you to go back home.

Placing a hand on his shoulder and motioning for him to lean down so you could speak closer to his ear like you had previously tried to, you stood on your tiptoes to meet him halfway. “Can you hand me the claim ticket to go get my bag? I’ll bring it back before leaving”.

His eyebrows furrowed. “You wanna leave?”

You nodded. “Yeah, but you stay here. I’ll call a taxi, you don’t need to come with me”.

“Is something wrong?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“No, but—” you were cut off by a guy dancing behind you bumping into you. Your first instinct was to laugh it off, and Hyunjin’s was to pull you to him.

“Let’s go get our things and talk outside” he raised his voice over the music once again. “It’s too chaotic in here”.

You simply nodded, deciding to look past the fact that he was getting his jacket as well, and wanting to believe it only had to do with him going outside until you left and not wanting to freeze in the meantime.

Once on the street, you were thankful to breathe in some fresh air, even if it was cold as hell compared to how it was inside the club. Hyunjin ended up going against his fantasy of seeing you in the jacket he had arrived in, and giving you his puffer coat once again instead. You were far done complaining by now anyway, for it was doing wonders to keep you warm.

“Is the taxi coming?” He asked, shoving his phone into his pocket after letting his friends know you were leaving.

“Mhm…” you nodded, looking up from your phone and catching the way he was rubbing his hands together and blowing some hot breath in them. “Should be here in the next five minutes”.

“It’s not even midnight yet, though…” he pointed out. “What happened?”

“Nothing happened, really, I just…” you shrugged, a shy smile curving up your lips. “Am I allowed to say it?”

“Say what?” He wondered.

“I feel like I’m cockblocking you”.

“What?” To say he was astonished was an understatement. “Cockblocking me? You?”

“Yeah, with Dahye”.

“With Dahye?!”

You laughed, shaking your head as you looked down at your phone, seeing the taxi be only four minutes away now.

“Have I not made it clear enough that I don’t like her?”

“But you could if you weren’t so closed off to give her a chance” you smiled. “I feel like I’m keeping you from getting a midnight kiss and maybe even more by being here because you’re kind of obliged to stick with me, or maybe you feel uncomfortable with me seeing that side of you because I’m Yeji’s friend and I could snitch on you or something”.

Hyunjin blinked rapidly, trying to take in the nonsense that had just come out of your mouth.

“I’m not obliged to, I want to be with you” he clarified. “And I couldn’t care less about you snitching on me to Yeji, I’ve got lots of shit on her anyway. That’s not it at all”.

“But she—”

“I don’t know what makes you think I want to kiss Dahye at midnight or whatever, because I—just,” he sighed. “It’s kind of a long story”.

“Ugh, just when my taxi’s almost here,” you whined, looking up from your phone and to the street. “You can go back inside, but I’m very intrigued now so maybe we can catch up later?”

“No, I’m leaving with you”.

“I can leave alone, though. You don’t have to worry about me, Hyun…jin? Hyun?” Your eyebrows furrowed, pensively. “Is Hyun okay? Should I stick to Hyunjin?”

“What?”

“Dahye said you hate being called Hyunie,” you reminded him. “I’ve been calling you that all these years, I’m sorry”.

“Y/N, no. Please don’t,” he sighed heavily, throwing his head back as he felt like pulling his hair out. “Don’t listen to anything she says”.

“But—”

“But nothing, she knows nothing” he cut you off. “I only hate it when she calls me that. I’ve told her multiple times not to”.

“Are you sure?” You hesitated.

He nodded, coming closer to you. “Like I told her earlier tonight, you can call me whatever you want”.

“Even if it’s something ridiculous like pudding?” You smirked, and he snorted, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Who are you, Harley Quinn?”

“Don’t test me, I will come up with something embarrassing to call you in front of your friends”.

Before he could bite back, your taxi pulled over in front of you.

“You should go back to them now” you motioned towards the club, walking towards the car.

“I don’t want you to welcome the new year alone, though” he followed hot on your heels.

You smiled sweetly. “Trust me, you did more than enough for me tonight. I had a lot of fun thanks to you, Hyunie, you don’t need to worry about me at all”.

He smiled softly, loving that you were back to calling him that.

“Would it change anything if I said I want to be with you at midnight?”

“Possibly…” you felt your face heat up. “But I want you to have fun with your friends”.

“Okay then, how about this,” he began, knowing he didn’t have much time to negotiate right then and opening the door for you. “I leave with you now, we spend the countdown together, and then I come back here afterwards”.

Pondering your choices for a quick second, and knowing he was just as obstinate as you, you gave in.

“Okay,” you smiled, entering the car for once and for all. “I expect you at my door ready to come back here as soon as midnight hits, though”.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

You made it back to your place barely twenty minutes before midnight.

You were relieved to be able to take off your heels, rushing to set the coffee table in your living room the best you could with what you had at home — that being a few snacks and a bottle of white wine, as your original plan before Hyunjin invited you to spend new year’s eve with him was to eat and drink alone while watching TV and scrolling through your phone.

He tried to help you set everything up, but you were adamant on him relaxing on your couch while you took care of it. After all, he was the one to treat you all night, now it was your time to take care of him.

Once everything was done, and Hyunjin was quietly switching channels to find one covering the new year’s celebration not to miss the countdown, you excused yourself to quickly change into something more comfortable, since, unlike him, you weren’t going out again.

“How long until midnight?” You asked, fixing your hair while you re-entered the living room in a dark blue sleepwear.

“Twelve minutes” he announced, gesturing towards the TV.

“I was afraid we wouldn’t make it” you confessed, earning a laugh from him as you slumped on the couch.

“Good thing the club wasn’t that far from your place” Hyunjin chuckled, handing you a glass of the wine he opened while you changed in your room.

“Honestly I didn’t care about missing the countdown, but then you came here with me and I was afraid I’d make you miss it”.

“Worst case scenario, we celebrated in the taxi” he shrugged.

“As opposed to you getting to be all hyped up spending it with your friends at the club?” You questioned, then shaking your head in denial. “I would’ve felt so bad”.

He chuckled, taking a sip of wine. “I wouldn’t have minded”.

“No, but I’m sorry I felt like leaving earlier” you pouted. “We should’ve just gone back inside”.

“The taxi was already there,” he pointed out. “And in all honesty I wouldn’t have made you go back there when I knew you were uncomfortable. Dahye kinda ruined it for me too anyway”.

“Right…” you mumbled. “So what is it with her?”

He sighed heavily, making you laugh over how stressed out he seemed just by thinking of it.

“Okay so first of all, she’s not even part of our friend group” he began. “She’s Haeun’s cousin and she always manages to get her to invite her to our hangouts, which is really annoying since she isn’t friends with most of us”.

“You invited me, though?”

“It’s different” he argued. “You’re nothing like her, and my friends really like you”.

“She doesn’t seem that bad?” You tried to reason, and the glare you got from him was enough to let you know she was. “Don’t give me that look, she looked pretty nice to everyone but me”.

“Yeah, that’s…” he sighed again. “She’s had a thing for me for like two years now, and I made the awful mistake of kissing her when I got wasted one night after breaking up with Seoyun and now she won’t leave me alone”.

“Hold on, hold on, hold on” you sat up straight, leaving your glass on the coffee table to focus on him entirely. “You kissed her?! Seoyun? Who’s Seoyun?”

And then it hit him, how you never really knew about his first girlfriend. Because you weren’t as close back then.

Somehow, spending these past three days with you made your fall-out feel minuscule, like you’d only spent a couple of months apart at most. It was only then that he got a reality check and got hit by the fact that you had missed almost four years of each other’s life.

Although you kept in touch as much as you could, he now realised how superficial your conversations and interactions had remained.

“Right,” he laughed nervously. “Um, she was my girlfriend. And yes, I kissed Dahye…”

“And now you’re surprised that she’s obsessed with you?”

He snorted, pinching the bridge of his nose as he lamented. “I was drunk. Wasted, actually. I wouldn’t even remember if it weren’t for the fact that Han and Minho won’t let me live it down”.

You chuckled, imagining just how much shit they must’ve given him for it. “It was only a one time thing then?”

“Yeah, I think it was like the second time we saw each other, didn’t know how pushy she was back then” he ran a hand through his hair. “But then after that night she expected more and I explained to her that I was drunk as hell and I tend to get really touchy in that state and that it meant nothing to me—”

“Ouch?”

“I sugarcoated it, okay?” He squinted his eyes at you. “But she’s been very insistent since then and I’ve told her so many times that I want nothing to do with her, that I… I don’t know, my patience ran out, I can’t really be nice about it anymore”.

“I get it…” you mumbled, staring to your lap. “It must be really annoying that she won’t take no for an answer after all these years. Sorry I tried to set you up with her in a way, I didn’t know”.

Hyunjin smiled, loving how easy it was to talk to you — how you never really judged him, but tried to understand him and his choices instead.

“It’s okay…” he mumbled as well. “Just please don’t try to leave me alone with her again, I said I wanted to stay with you back then”.

“You didn’t really say that” you argued with a smirk, having him shake his head and bring his cup to his mouth. “But I know better now, won’t do it again”.

“Thank you” he sighed in relief, and you giggled, reaching for your glass and taking a small sip of wine before you looked at him again.

“You said it was after you broke up with… Sooyun?”

“Seoyun” he corrected. “Yes”.

“I only knew about Nara. Was this before her?” You tilted your head.

“Yeah, a few months before her” he explained. “Seoyun and I dated for like three months by the end of 2021, then that thing with Dahye happened, and then I dated Nara in like middle 2022. That’s pretty much the timeline”.

“And I’m hoping Dahye stopped insisting when you got together with Nara?”

“As if” he scoffed. “Nara couldn’t stand her. It’s good that she doesn’t have my number and the only times we interact are when she tags along in our hangouts, otherwise it would’ve been so much worse than it was”.

“Next time you get a girlfriend, I say you block her on every social media”.

“I’ll block her on everything if you do the same with Mingyu” he playfully held his pinky up for you to seal the promise.

What he got instead, was a throaty laugh coming out of your mouth as you lightly slapped his hand away. “You’re an idiot”.

“I think it’s pretty reasonable, though?”

“We’ll see” you played along. “You need to get a girlfriend first in order for me to follow through”.

“I can block her right now, I don’t care” he stated, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“Stop!” You laughed, stopping him from unlocking it. “There’s no really need to just yet”.

Rolling his eyes, he let his phone fall on the couch. “You’re no fun”.

You chuckled, taking another sip as the living room fell silent and your mind went through everything you had just talked about. You surely had missed a lot.

You had missed him a lot.

“I can’t believe I never knew about Seoyun…”

“I mean, not even my sister knew back then, it wasn’t that serious…” he swirled the drink in his hand. “And we didn’t really talk that much anymore back then, so…”

“Yeah… sorry about that” you smiled bittersweetly. “It was my fault we drifted away. I’m sorry, Hyunie”.

“What do you mean it was your fault?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

You shifted in your seat uncomfortably. “Mingyu didn’t like me having guy friends. Girl friends he was fine with up to a certain extent, but he just… was a little possessive”

He felt his blood boil. “You never told me that”.

“Like you said, we didn’t really talk much back then anymore” you smiled weakly. “But yeah, I didn’t see it as a problem because I was so in love with him that it made me feel good to know that he wanted me all to himself, as idiotic as it sounds, so I ended up pulling away from most of my friends. Chan was the only guy friend I kept throughout our relationship, mainly because he’s been my best friend since high school. Mingyu still was a bit wary at first but Chan’s where I drew the line”.

“Couldn’t you have drawn the line with me, too?”

Hyunjin tried to make his words come off as a lighthearted joke, but the weak tone in his voice and the hurt look in his eyes let you know he was serious, regardless of the smile adorning his mouth.

“I tried, Hyunie. I really tried” you confessed.

“You did?” His eyes softened.

“Mhm…” you ran a hand through your hair. “You mean a lot to me, I loved the way our friendship was back then, but Mingyu just had this… he was convinced you had a thing for me, and he would go on and on about it”.

Oh.

“Then again, according to him everyone had a thing for me” you rolled your eyes at the memory. “So please don’t take it to heart, I know you didn’t and it was all in his mind. I tried to reason with him plenty of times, but he just wouldn’t listen”.

“I understand…” he mumbled. “It’s okay…”

All this time, he thought he had made a good job at hiding his feelings for you. Apparently not.

Of course they would be obvious as hell to the one other person who was in love with you back then.

He hated to admit it, but he could see where Mingyu was coming from; at least when it came to him. He could’ve handled it better for sure, but he knew that if he was in Mingyu’s shoes and he knew you were close with someone who had a thing for you, he wouldn’t like it either.

“I wish I hadn’t pushed everyone away because of him…” you lamented.

“At least you still have Yeji and Chan” he tried to cheer you up.

“Yeah, but now I feel like a third wheel most of the time” you confessed rather bitterly. “It’s not their fault at all, and they do make me feel included, but that’s just how I feel. It was great before because there were four of us, but now it’s just me and ugh”.

Watching you throw your head back in exasperation, he bit his lip, staring into his glass as he debated on whether to say the words that were dancing on the tip of his tongue.

“Maybe we could…”

Your head snapped back to him, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“Maybe we could what?” You wondered when he wouldn’t.

“Maybe we could take up where we left off?”

“Where we left off?”

“Yeah, you know… I mean, I hope it wasn’t only me, but I feel like we were really close back then? Before he came into the picture” he explained, feeling nervous as ever under your piercing stare. “Like, we’d text everyday, we’d see each other quite often too… we didn’t have to rely on Yeji to interact, and… if you’re up for it, I would like to go back to that”.

All nervousness washed away when you smiled.

Nodding your head softly, you couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped your mouth, making the pace of his heartbeats skyrocket.

“I would really love that”.

“You would?” He asked breathily.

“Mhm…” you reassured him. “I don’t know if you missed the part where I said you mean a lot to me, but I’d love for us to be close again”.

Hyunjin smiled shyly, lowering his head and begging his cheeks not to give away the beautiful mess he was feeling inside.

As if saved by the bell, your eyes went to the TV for a second, and only that took for you to jump in your place and gesture for him to take a look as well.

Fifteen seconds until midnight.

Fourteen.

Thirteen.

“Twelve minutes already?” You asked, dumbfoundedly looking at him.

Hyunjin laughed. Had you not looked at the TV in that moment, you would probably have continued talking into the next year without noticing.

Ten.

Nine.

“To pick up where we left off?” He offered a small toast, raising his glass.

Six.

You chuckled, happily nodding your head before raising your glass as well. “To pick up where we left off”.

Three. You counted together.

Two.

One.

Clinking your glasses together, the two of you gave it a poor attempt at cheering, resulting in both of you laughing as you leaned in for a comfortable hug.

“Happy new year, Hyunie” you cooed, resting your chin on his shoulder.

He smiled softly, mimicking your small action and gently rubbing his thumbs up and down your sides. “Happy new year, Y/N”.

Starting the new year together and with the promise of becoming close again, could only make the two of you excited, hopeful even, for what was to come.

Needless to say, he was not going back to the club after midnight.

tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @curlytxe @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin @shyshyshytwice @nicoleparadas @​broken-glowsticks @sweetbokji

[thegreatstoryteller]

The Great Shift: Turning 30

The Great shift was a huge time in many people’s lives. Especially those with birthdays who fell around the time of the great shift. Some turning 18, others turning 80! But still others had their hearts set on a time in their life that was quite pivotal. However, because of the shift some may have to wait a little longer to reach that milestone, while others have jumped leaps and bounds beyond it!

Harvey Singh (30 years old)

Fuuuck my head… and my clothes apparently. Damn. This is not what I imagined turning 30 would be like! 

Before the world went insane, I was so close! The damn great shift just had to happen right before my birthday. I was working at this law firm, a pretty shady place at first. Lots of scummy people taking advantage of others, but my boss was trying to turn it around! We kicked out those idiots who were causing trouble, got them arrested! I was gonna get promoted and help lead the charge for helping others… but not anymore.

The great shift landed me inside of Skyler Marlo! 18 year old quarterback for the local university. And right after a big party too. I couldn’t find a stitch of clothes to fit my new larger body. I was really lucky this frat house I woke up in had a towel nearby. But that was just the beginning of my nightmare. 

You see that smile of distress? Yeah that’s me. Instead of writing briefs and taking on clients in need, I’m here on the football field. Apparently after the upheaval the shift caused people are having trouble verifying identities and gaining access to their property/funds. That’s totally something I could be helping with! Instead I'm stuck back in the life of a teenager again. I wasn't a big fan of 18 last time I was in college.

The only thing that could get me after the shift was taking on this guy’s college scholarship. It gives me a place to stay and access to their college library, but I had to join the college football team. Some organizations like college athletics don’t seem to care who is shifted or not! As long as they got the players they need to draw in a crowd, they seemed perfectly content letting anyone play. Though who can blame them. If they saw me before I doubt they’d want some angry short king running their drills. No… now I’m not the 5’0 Indian guy who got overlooked in school. I look the picture of boy next door prom king that rules the college. 6’2, 195lbs of lean muscle, and size 15 feet. That last one took awhile to get used to! Finding cleats that size was the hardest part of this change. 

So here I am, sweating it out day after day to maintain my scholarship, while I wait for the day I’m recertified with my state’s bar! Once I’m a lawyer again I swear I’ll help out others like me forced to cling on to new lives while the system sorts things out. It sucks having to practice every day and do all these drills and grunt work! The college even has me posing for their promotional material to draw in bigger crowds at the game! Who would want this kind of life?!

Then again… it’s already been a few months… I may as well get used to college life… I was a nerdy brown kid my last run in college, mostly studying and doing what my parents wanted… now at least I can get a look at how the athletes lived… That frat did ask me if I wanted to join… I guess it couldn’t hurt to have a little fun while I wait to get my life back.

After all, I do get pretty excited after an intense practice, and judging by some of the looks from my teammates, I may not be the only one eager to get to know my new body better. 

Phil Inver (30 years old)

People need to learn how to relax. I don’t know what the big deal is. So a bunch of people swapped bodies. What’s there to worry about? See me? I don’t have a care in the world. When I was turning 30 doctors told me I was overweight and at risk of diabetes, my work would always be on me for not applying myself, and my girlfriend said I was always too lazy in our relationship! 

But my mindset since the shift hasn’t changed! It landed me in this nice smooth and lean body! I’m glad that this guy kept in such good shape. Having actual abs is insane! Same for these toned arms! I’m not sure if he’s the shaving kinda guy or if he’s naturally smooth, but it sure as hell beats taking care of an unruly beard and body hair!

Turns out now that I look like this people are a bit more receptive to my ideals! Doctors say my heart is as healthy as a horse! Says my stress free lifestyle is a large part of that! My work? They now say my chill attitude makes things a lot more zen around the office. Guess they don’t care I don’t get too much done whenever I flash them a smile. And my girlfriend… or my boyfriend as he goes by now, certainly thinks I’m taking an active role in the bedroom. Who knew that my new stud of a boyfriend had a thing for Asian guys!?

So what am I gonna do now? Listen to music, chill as my boyfriend showers, and wait out the day as normal. Sure I’m turning 30, but it’s just another day in paradise for me! Oh what’s that? This body is only 21? Even better! I’ve got plenty of time to relax before I turn 30.

Devon Lin (30 years old)

So I was a bit nervous about turning 30. I feel like I haven’t really done all the things I wanted… and all my friends were joking saying it’s all downhill after that. I wasn’t dealing the best with the stress… Well like it or not the shift had me face that hurdle a few year further than I expected.

And I gotta say. It’s not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Sure I’m a bit older, but hell  I look a hell of a lot more manly! Could it be that the shift landed me in a handsome 37 year old with a built body, tan skin,  and perfect beard? Maybe… but hey. Age is just a mindset… but these muscles sure aren’t! Boom!

You like that? So do the guys at the bar! They keep insisting I don’t shave my chest or pit hair too. I think I could pull off that look. That being said, I think anything looks good on a 6’5 stud like me. Tall, dark, and handsome all the way!

Before I would jump around from job to job. Bartender, janitor, waiter, and housekeeper, but lately I’ve found my job as a bouncer at the local bar a lot more rewarding. You’d be surprised how many fights stop once I take my shirt off and start playing pool with the patrons. I’ve won nearly every game of billiards I’ve played! Though I have the sneaking suspicion it may be due to the guys staring more at me than the balls.

Guess that’s one of the benefits to working at a chill gay bar! You know, I was always a bit insecure about my body and experimenting sexually. Being a shorter gay man with a chip on his shoulder would do that to you. Now… well let’s just say now I feel like I’ve got a lot more confidence! I may have missed my 30th birthday, but I think I know how I’m gonna spend my 38th!

Marcus Garcia (30 years old)

They say when you get older you begin to value things differently. Honestly I didn’t know what to expect when I turned 30. Was I supposed to be wiser all of a sudden? Have a plan for things? In truth plenty of people younger than me had their life together compared to me. Partners. Kids. A stable job. A house.

In short. I thought I had more time. But we don’t always get to choose how fast life comes at us. I mean look at me. Didn’t expect the shift to make me 55.

Losing 25 years of my life was definitely not the easiest. The great shift nearly tears the world apart and I’m running for my life looking like retirement is right around the corner. That first day was definitely a wake up call that I did not have the same stamina that I used to. In that opening week of the shift I was pretty much running on adrenaline and coffee wherever I could get it. I took lots of naps just to stay sane. 

As the days went on and society slowly readjusted to some version of normal, I began to actually have time to look at my body. I mean I was a pretty skinny guy before, my sister would always say I needed to workout more. But I guess all it took was 25 years of my life to finally get in shape. 

Not only that, but I’m admiring the body hair. This guy was a pretty hairy dude. The salt and pepper stubble had guys starting me daddy at the gay bars, while the chest hair was still dark like my eyebrows and made my impressive physique pop. 

My feet were pretty big too. Size 14! Twice as big as my old feet, but just as hard to find shoes my size. 

Needless to say there were highs and lows to my new life. Was I happy that i was 6’6 now? Sure! Loved being tall and nearly bonking my head on doorframes. Was I upset lots of my joints were sore and that I could only take my coffee black to avoid dairy and sugar? No… that sucked. I liked my sweet drinks and I missed not waking up in pain.

Omar LeRon was a guy that lived along my street. He was a single dad raising his 5 year old, all at the age of 45.

I later learned he had a few wild days in his early 40s that lead to Omar Jr. And now in his mid 20s again he’s glad he could be more present for his son! Even if his son is the same age as him now.

He told me all of this one day when we both left our house for a jog. He found that doing some running in his new body helped him vent some much needed energy from his body, while I needed to do something physical if I was to have any hope of maintaining healthy workout routines for mine! 

Needles to say he offered some words of wisdom growing up and it really helped put some things in perspective. Meanwhile, I gave him some tips about helping his son. Turns out all those years working at my aunt’s day care counted for something, even for post shifted kids!

Our conversations started as friendly advice and then grew into more! Talks became dates. Dates became moving in. Moving in became an engagement! Now a few years after the wedding I guess you truly can call me a daddy now. Jr. sure does. He’s doing great in school and is looking forward to next week when my sister is gonna watch him for the summer.

My husband and I are gonna take our first real vacation since the great shift! We’re looking forward to it! We’ll be celebrating Omar’s 30th birthday in his new body now! He keeps making jokes saying, “Well I’ve done it before. Nothing to it the second time around.” And “Well here I thought your 30th birthday was extreme. I doubt I could top that”

He also never stops teasing me about how he loves being married to an older man and that I’m not as young as I used to be. We know it’s all in good fun. I mean, I can still keep up with him in the bedroom, where it counts… as long as he gives me a few minutes to recover after. Young guys like him are insatiable. I’ll try to power through though. After all, you only turn “30” once.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

[ramp-it-up]

Knock You Down: IV

Photo credit to @thebluemage. Edit mine.

Summary: James Bucky Barnes is an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. But when he meets you, he finds out that sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down. Finally! Date Number Threeeeee!

This is a follow up to Part III

Word count: 3.5 K

Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N: This is the final part! (For now) I think that this is one that I will definitely write in answer to asks. I just love these two so so much! Thank all of you for rocking with me on this one. This was in part inspired by Seb Stan's latest pics and this press run 🫠, and partially inspired by an old song by some problematic people, lol. This is the result. As usual, I am Basil Exposition, so this is broken into parts.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. SMUT!!!! The end of the Slow burn, now it's burning very fast 😅. Cursing, flirting, jealousy, apologies, Bucky cooking (a warning!), kissing, dry humping, dirty talk in both English and Romanian, voice kink, oral sex (m and f receiving), protected sex (yay Bucky!) And these two are so fucking fluffy. I'm scared, y'all. I want it to be good enough for the build up.

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

-----

As soon as he entered the Brownsville Arts and Culture Center, James Bucky Barnes was hot. Blood was rushing to his ears and he needed a drink. He wasn’t sick; his symptoms were all due to you.

The black dress that adorned your body contained all of his hopes and dreams, but you seemed to be flirting with another man, twirling for him and then giving him a hug. To add insult to injury, you had the nerve to laugh and smile with the punk. 

You in that black dress was everything in the world that Bucky could want, except maybe you out of that black dress. As his eyes traced down your form, he noticed the 5 inch red bottoms that you had on. Yes. You, out of that dress with just the red bottoms. That was what he needed in his life.

But first, he had to take care of that other man.

—-

“Benson’s work emphasizes the subjects’ spiritual essence over their physical appearance, don’t you think?”

You turned around at the sound of the deep baritone. 

“Well hello, Mr. Rogers. How are you today? Delivering an art analysis given to you by AI? Oh. I forgot. You are an ‘art dealer.’ An art dealer who goes to Soul Cycle in Brownsville all of a sudden?”

Steve clutched his heart.

“Ah. I’m hurt, Y/N. I thought we were cool. But I guess I deserved the air quotes.  I do actually love art. I took some art classes when I was a kid and I still love to sketch.”

“Hmmmph. Okay. I’ll give you that. But how is it that you popped up in my Soul Cycle class? Don’t play me, Steven.”

Steve raised his eyebrow at you and grinned. He understood why Buckiy was so drawn to you. Not only were you gorgeous, you were a spitfire. That was hot.

“I would never try to play you, Y/N. I also actually love Soul Cycle. Used to teach a class in Park Slope.”

“I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover, can you?”

Steve’s eyes slid over you appraisingly.

“Speaking of. You look very, very nice today.”

You twirled for him, feeling as safe as you would your brother.

“Nice. Okay, listen. I’m sorry about the other day. I was just trying to protect my friend. And you.”

Steve sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I’ve never seen Bucky like this. He’s never been this smitten with someone before and let them into his life. But I get it now.”

Steve’s blue eyes were almost as beautiful as Bucky’s.

“Bucky is my family. Since we were kids. He’s always taken care of me. And I will do anything for him.”

He raised his eyebrow at you.

“I can see now that means that I will do anything for you, because I have a feeling that you’re gonna be around a lot. So do you forgive me?”

You considered Steve. He was not too different from his best friend, and you couldn’t hold a grudge. Not after Bucky laid it all out to you last night You opened your arms.

“Let’s hug it out.”

Steve chuckled and gathered you into his warm embrace. You pulled back and giggled, grinning at him.

“So what makes you think I’m gonna be hanging around?”

“Well, judging from the look on Bucky’s face, he’s serious about you.”

Steve nodded behind you, toward the door. You looked that way and saw James Bucky Barnes headed straight for you. 

And he didn’t look happy.

—--

“Good morning, Frumoasă. You look stunning today. The exhibit is amazing, the space looks great and it seems that the right people are in the building.”

Bucky came up and placed his hand on the small of your back as he spoke to you, ignoring Steve. His blue eyes were storm clouds at the moment, and his touch was electric.

“Thank you, James. You’re so observant, I appreciate that. And you look very handsome today.”

You looked him up and down and bit your lip, meeting his gaze and the way he kept eye contact as he inclined his head in response. 

Bucky was attractive as hell in his black on black shirt, blazer and slacks. You noticed that his collar was unbuttoned; the medallion hanging on his chest made you want to take it between your teeth. You stared at it for a moment, imagining such a scenario where that could happen and then met his eyes again, prompting desire to roll through you as Bucky licked his lips. He was right there with you.

You smiled at him in a way that you didn’t smile at Steve. Who was Steve Rogers, anyway? You could hardly remember meeting him as your mind went to the feel of being in Bucky Barnes’ arms.

You sensed an air of proprietariness as Bucky took your hand and kissed it, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Possessive Bucky Barnes felt like a sin you wanted to indulge in. You cleared your throat and looked at Steve, as if surprised to find him still standing there, watching the show.

“Well, I see some board members over there, I’m going to go do my job. Talk to you later, boys.”

You walked away and gave them a wink over your shoulder, and you caught both of them looking at your ass. You shook your head and chuckled as you went on your way.

“You trying to steal my girl?”

Everyone stopped when Steve laughed, his deep boom a distraction. Bucky still wasn’t amused.

“Oh. So you’re in love.”

“What?”

“You’ve never worried about me taking your leftovers or vice versa before. Hell, we’ve even shared–”

“Shut your fucking mouth.”

Bucky snapped at Steve who put his hands up.

“Whoa, there. Just yanking your chain, buddy; I know she’s special. I wouldn’t dream of making a move on her. Not that she knows I’m alive. When you walked up, I thought I was going to have to take off my jacket so you two could fuck on the floor.”

Bucky was barely listening to Steve as his eyes followed you around the room. One thing Steve said was echoing in his mind: “So you’re in love.”

—-

You floated through the rest of the day on a cloud. The exhibit was a smashing success with the 

Board of Directors in attendance. Securing Howard Benson’s penultimate work from Rebirth was the feather in your cap. 

And you had Bucky to thank for it.

Bucky’s visit was also a hit; he and Steve charmed the board members with the help of Sam and Nat, who arrived later. They all made amends for what occurred that week and you were left very impressed with James Barnes.

After a couple of hours at the event, Bucky came over to let you know he was leaving.

“I will see you later, Frumoasă. I have much to prepare for tonight. Nico will pick you up at 7:30.”

“See you soon, James.”

He kissed your hand again.

“See you soon, Y/N.”

—---

“It is actually insanely attractive how you handled yourself in the kitchen.”

You were seated with Bucky on his couch in his living room, looking over the New York skyline from his Brooklyn penthouse. The dessert had been delicious and the wine in your hand was spectacular. 

“I was sure you’d order something in and just play it off. But I watched you create a meal in front of me, and I should have known that if you said you were going to cook, that you would do just that.”

Bucky’s heart beat double time at what you were saying. He wanted so much for tonight, but most of all, he wanted it to flow naturally. He saw that you were relaxed and open to him, which pleased him immensely.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, Frumoasă. I enjoy cooking for my friends and family. Cooking for a beautiful woman is a treat.”

Bucky’s eyes slid over your form. You had changed to jeans and a color block sweater that just put your cleavage out there for the world, which was Bucky Barnes, to see. You also wore the same red bottoms from that day, and Bucky was beginning to think he had a foot fetish as you took them off at his entryway.

You took a sip of wine.

“How often do you do that? Cook for a woman?”

You barely hid your curiosity.

Bucky smiled and drained his glass, reaching over to refill it.

“Not as often as you’d think. Never had any other woman over here. Food is not usually the top priority with them.”

You pouted, which was so cute. Your spark of jealousy inspired Bucky.

“But I don’t want to talk about anyone else. Tonight is about me and you.”

Any uncertainty that arose was quelled by his assertion. You grew warm, so you finished your wine and rose to go to the window. 

“This is the most gorgeous view I’ve ever seen.”

“Absolutely agree.”

You looked behind you and Bucky was still sitting on the couch, hands spread out on the back of it, checking you out. You gave him one of your adorable smiles and he came to stand behind you, and took you in his arms. 

“I want you to know that you deserve everything, Y/N. To be cheered on and protected every day. And thoroughly ruined every night.”

You turned around and his hands went to your hips. It was the perfect moment.

“James?”

“Can I have a kiss?”

Bucky’s eyes dilated, and he moved his hand to your cheek. He licked his lips as he looked deep into your eyes.

“Ah, Frumoasă. I thought you’d never ask.”

His first movement was a subtle brush of your lips. He pulled back to assess the situation, and you didn’t know why, but that made your nipples tighten into stiff peaks. You gasped as Bucky watched you hungrily. 

The air seemed to change around you, and you shivered. He lowered his head so his lips could meet yours again, and this time his mouth was gentle but demanding. You gasped at the spike of electricity that flared between you and Bucky took the opportunity to dip his tongue into your mouth, scorching your lips and soul. With a low groan, he shifted your angle, bending you backward a little to kiss you deeper and ripping a moan from you as you melted against him. 

Good lord, could the man kiss. 

At that point, he was holding you up, one hand on your hip and one hand on the back of your head as you molded yourself against him. Bucky’s fingers dug into you, sure to leave bruises the next day. You relished the thought as you moaned into his mouth again, giving him the opportunity to continue destroying your soul. 

Bucky dragged his lips from yours reluctantly and stared at you, eyes almost black with desire. He brought his thumb up and wiped the moisture from your bottom lip. Motivated, you captured his digit, drawing it into the hot wetness of your mouth. He stared at you, mouth open, as you looked him straight in the eye and started sucking.

Bucky moaned as he pushed his thumb deeper into your mouth, and walked you back to the couch. He extracted his finger, watching the show your lips put on as he pulled it out, leaving them in a delectable pout. 

“More,” Bucky demanded as he crouched down and took your head in both hands as he kissed you again. 

His hands wound up in your hair, tugging gently, then on your back, then your ass as you arched your back to fill his palms. Bucky picked you up, then deposited you on his lap as he sat down on the couch, and you felt how aroused he was. His thick length was where you needed him most.

“Fuck! That feels good.”

Bucky was watching you grind on him like it was the best show on earth. Then he looked up at you.

“Yes, yes it does.”

He leaned forward and captured your bottom lip between his teeth, a preview of how rough he wanted to be with you. Then, he went in for another kiss. That continued for a good five minutes until he pulled away to stare at your swollen lips, and down to your cleavage, which was practically in his face.

When his eyes met yours, you were entranced.

“You good? You want this to happen?”

You nodded and took his hands in yours, guiding them up to your breasts, squeezing yourself with his hands. You rolled your hips, causing his breath to hitch in his throat.

“Like you said, James. More.”

You continued to grind on him, causing him to just gape at your body moving on his.

“I’ve dreamed of this so many times…”

“Yes? Tell me about your dreams, Baby.”

His hands moved to find your nipples through the lace of your bra and the wool of your sweater. He found them in no time, and pinched them lightly, then more roughly when you moaned.

“Mmmmnnnn. So fucking hot.”

Bucky kissed you again and then pulled away as he stared you down and tortured you. 

“I dream about marking you up,” he kissed your neck under your chin, “to your clavicle,” a kiss there, “and all over this beautiful flesh until I get to your nipples.” 

He looked at you for any signs of discomfort as he slipped his hands under your sweater to find the thin lace there. He found your hard peaks again and started rolling them both in his fingers.

“Then I want to kiss and suck them until you come in my arms.”

“Holy god, Jamie….”

Bucky’s eyes rolled at the second pet name you called him and continued.

“Wake up so fucking hard every morning since I met you. Then, I daydream about how wet and tight you will be after I made you cum, and how good it would feel to… to give you my cock. Do y’like that idea, Frumoasă?”

“Y-yesssss!”

“O să te fac să vii pe penisul meu iar și iar, Frumoasă.”

You almost came right then.

“D-don’t know what you said, but yes to whatever you just suggested.”

Bucky pulled you to him, and then chuckled into your ear.

“It means that I want to make you cum over and over again on my cock.”

You were already making a mess in your jeans, but you knew he could feel you soaking them at the moment.

“Please. Give it to me?”

Bucky groaned and kissed you again, this time encircling your waist in his grip and pressing you down on his bulge. 

“You know I can’t deny you anything. Are you certain?”

“Yes, James. Please…”

He lifted you easily, kissing you as he walked you down the hall to his bedroom, depositing you on his bed. 

“Y’look so fucking good.”

He crawled toward you on the bed and settled between your thighs as you hitched your leg over his. You pressed your core against his bulge and it had you muttering.

“Too many clothes.”

Bucky leaned up and you were fumbling with his button and he with yours. You looked up and laughed. 

“Maybe faster the other way.”

“Agreed.”

You two made quick work of your own garments, flinging them around the room between frenzied kisses. The way your eyes widened when Bucky got naked made his chest swell. He wanted you to always look at him like that.

“Wow…,” you said as your eyes roamed his physique.

His cock seemed massive as it slapped him on the abs.

“Wow, indeed,” replied Bucky as he took you in hungrily.

Your white lace underwear looked amazing against your skin and against your cunt it served to make him hungry.

He moved toward you again, kissing up your leg until he got to the edge of your panties and nudged his nose there, making you squirm.

“Smell so good, look so good…”

Bucky kissed at the edge of your underwear,

“I just know you’re gonna taste good too..”

He moved to the center of you, placing a kiss over your lace-covered sodden slit. Then, he looked up at you and smirked before he leaned down and licked you over your panties. 

“Fuck.”

He pulled your panties to the side and gazed at you there. 

Those blue eyes threatened to steal your soul as he gazed at you and confessed, “This is the most gorgeous pussy I’ve ever seen,” and proceeded to lick a rude stripe up the center of you after he tore your panties away.

“Oh my god, James.”

You rolled your hips again and reached down to feel Bucky’s soft hair. He pulled your hips closer and his lips suckled you with more pressure, adding one finger, then two to stretch you out. 

“Gotta get you ready for me, my love.” 

Your eyes rolled back into your head as you moaned through Bucky thrusting his tongue inside you, then pulling back to focus on your clit.

“I c-can’t.. I–”

“Give me my cum, Frumoasă!”

You locked eyes with him as he buried his face in your cunt and shook against him as you came embarrassingly fast, pulling on his messed up curls.

“So fucking delicious. Taste.”

He took your head in both hands and kissed you deeply, and you responded by sucking your essence off of his tongue. You reached down and started stroking his cock, overjoyed and a little bit scared that your fingers didn’t meet around him as he unclasped your bra.

Bucky whimpered as your thumb came up and stroked his sensitive head, spreading his precum over the wide, mushroom cap.

“You’re so fucking huge, Bucky…”

Bucky pulled you toward him as he reached into his bedside drawer for a condom and a bottle.

“And you’re so wet, Furmoasa. We will make this work. Believe me…”

You continued to stroke and watched him as he brought the wrapper to his teeth and him tearing it open was about the hottest act of sexual protection you’d ever seen. Somehow, your mouth ended up sucking his tip as you watched his eyes roll back into his skull.

“That beautiful mouth…”

Bucky put his hand on your head as you tasted him experimentally, wondering if you’d ever be able to take it all. He seemed to read your mind as he spoke next.

“Don’t worry, I plan on us having a lot of practice with this later, but if you don’t let me put this condom on, I’m gonna cum all over your face, Frumoasă…”

You looked up at him and grinned as his cock jumped in your mouth, but you finally pulled off of him with a pop.

“I need to feel you around me when I cum love. S’all I’ve been dreaming of all week.”

Now his chest was heaving as he rolled the condom on, and he pushed you back onto the bed as his hand went to your core once again. You were even wetter than before and Bucky smiled at you, lining up and kissing you on the forehead as he began to breach your folds.

When he slid inside, your fingernails curled into his shoulders and your eyes grew wide. Bucky stopped, concentrating while his cock pumped, barely inside you.

“There is nothing. In the world. Like being inside your soft, wet, cunt.”

“Fuckkkkk!” 

You became even wetter and he slid fully inside you. There, Bucky waited for you to get adjusted around him.

“So fucking tight. And hot. Just like I knew you would be.”

“More, Jamie!”

Smiling, Bucky started moving and you gripped him as he stroked in and out.

“Please don’t stop. Harder!”

Bucky grabbed the headboard and gave you what you wanted. His other hand pulled your hair and his strokes became more intense.

“Wanted to last longer, but I can’t, Baby. So beautiful. Pussy made for me. Cuming soon, but later… O să te fac să vii pe penisul meu iar și iar, Frumoasă. I never make a promise I can’t keep.”

You orgasm whited out your vision and your throat burned as you screamed. Bucky roared, filling the condom with copious amounts of cum. Your cunt was milking him and he hoped it would hold. He stayed sunk into you as long as he could before he had to get up and rid himself of the prophylactic.

He was only in the en suite for a few minutes as you floated in and out of sleep, lust drunk and exhausted.

Bucky climbed back into bed and got both of you situated under the covers, whispering in your ear.

“Stay tonight.”

“Of course. That was the plan, wasn’t it?”

Both of you chuckled, because you knew it was true. Bucky kissed your ear and waited for your breath to even out. When he thought you were asleep, he whispered again.

“I’m going to be a better man for you, Frumoasă.”

“You are exactly who you need to be, James Barnes. Just keep moving forward. Tomorrow is another day to do that.”

After a few more minutes, you spoke again.

“Tomorrow will only be a week that we’ve known each other. Imagine that.” 

Bucky buried his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent.

“Guess I better wait until tomorrow to ask you to marry me.”

You laughed a sleepy laugh.

“You got jokes.”

“You know me, Frumoasă. A professional comedian.”

But somewhere in the dark of Bucky Barnes’ closet, a diamond found some light and sparkled.

——

The next morning is here ;)

Please, please! Let me know!