#what else am i even supposed to say
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Me whenever Fullmetal Alchemist comes up in conversation
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I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.
#was going to make a post about how much i hate that women aren't allowed to hate their oppressors but i decided to spin it into something#positive instead#this is supposed to be the feminist site that makes reddit mgtow piss their baby diapers so let's go back to despising men and not coddling#their feelings and let's dye our hair blue while we're at it#i am so tired of this new wave of guilt-tripping and gaslighting women who hate men and don't trust or want to be around them#i hate how we're made into villainesses or the problematic ones for not valuing them in our lives or for wanting to guard ourselves or be#safe from our oppressors#and i'm tired of people who don't know the first thing about feminism being like 'BUT THAT'S TERF RHETORIC WHAT ABOUT X MINORITY MEN'#guess what women can also be x minority that you're trying to protect the men of and we get to hate men too#trans women are included when i say women btw and trans men are included when i say men#if anyone has the right to hate men more than anybody else it's trans women esp trans lesbians because they put up with so much shit#from men that even cis women do not and they especially know how vile men are behind closed doors#so#terfs fuck off#radfems fuck off#and if anybody tries to make this post more appeasing to men or 'not all men's this post you are getting blocked and hit with a hammer#feminism#misogyny#sexism#patriarchy#tw men#tw rape#tw abuse#misandry#terfs dni#radfems dni#feminists need to go back to being scary and unpalatable for men none of this 'but some of them are good!' bullshit#men are entitled to nothing from us#and if you try to prove me wrong then you are just proving my point if you have nothing good to say then simply keep scrolling#ok? ok.
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bug doodles so i can say i drew something
#oc#original character#alien oc#artists on tumblr#art#aliens#sketch#nyx#having a rough month creatively. and mentally. like a really really rough month. but i'm tired of saying that too#i made like three things this year i was excited about and that's it. where did the fun go. im supposed to enjoy it right#if i dont enjoy it then what is the point !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of anything !!!! i dont enjoy Anything anymore even !!!!!!!!!#why is it already august. almost september. i dont even remember most of 2023 let alone 2024.#i got no drive to draw let alone to push through a drawing when it gets challenging or doesn't turn out right. i barely drew this month#just kinda hated everything. nothing is fulfilling#IF IM NOT HAVING FUN !!! THEN WHAT IS THE POINT !!! WHAT AM I DOING IT FOR#more and more i consider taking a hiatus from art. but what the fuck else do i do with my time then. what if i never come back to it#i got a list of stuff i could draw but either i try and i dont like it or i sit there and wonder why even bother because i wont enjoy it#guys im tired. im so exhaustingly overwhelmingly depressingly fucking tired and i feel no joy in my art#or videogames. or anything.#i need to go to bed
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hotel manager
#zeno's art#i'm not sure if i should tag the show itself as i'm not a fan but i guess its “fan”art so i will#hazbin hotel#charlie hazbin hotel#vivziepop#i was bored and wanted to draw something#my main goal here was to create a design that looked distinct and could (potentially) be moderately easy to animate#of course based on charlie's character i added as many angel images as possible through the hair and bowtie#(i know white on white is a character design sin but i wanted to show the angel wing detail ;w;)#also to express the personality and juxtaposition of a sweet devil her horns are supposed to curve into a heart shape#of course the garterbelts are upside-down/st peters crosses because of her satanic themes#i also tried to go harder into the goat theme but its still subtle i think#i actually think the goat theme is really interesting because of the story of the sheep and the goats in the bible#but i cant remember if it was actually something intended in her original design#i'm not going to draw anyone else so dont even anticipate that#this was basically a cooldown? ok i think i'm rambling now#goodbye#ok edit to say it clearly: i am not a fan of vivziepop or her work. i just wanted to redesign charlie as a cooldown/exercise for fun#because i used to be a fan of the character before i wised up about what vivzie had and has done#and before i matured and noticed the cracks and fundamental flaws in her works#so yea i dont support her at all and this redesign is critical i guess#also the reason why the tag “vivziepop” is there in the first place is so that anyone who has that tag silenced can scroll past#without seeing anything related to her work. in case that clears anything up#its the same reason why i tag “long post” and “food” and the like
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So I finally had time to sit down and play through 2.3 this week and man I have a lot of Feelings about all of it, but today it's about Gallagher and Mikhail because!
The devotion of a dog! Gallagher's dedication lasting beyond Mikhail's death and then some! The way he let himself be seen through knowing it would mean his own death because it would help to accomplish his and Mikhail's dream! The immense regret and long lasting guilt of not helping Mikhail when he needed him! THE WAY MISHA CALLS GALLAGHER "MY HOUND-"
Ahem. I'm normal I swear. Anyway.
And one of my favorite displays of this undying loyalty? This.
This is the record you unlock in 2.3 after Siobahn brings up Gallagher's death in the Dreamjolt Hostelry. Right after "to the Nameless resting in peace... and to Gallagher."
La Messe de l'athée translates to The Mass of the Atheist. It was a short story about a man who goes to church, and is surprised to see another man whom he knows is an atheist attending mass, all alone. When questioned, the atheist says that he attends for a friend. This friend had banded with him when they were both poor, and acted as a father figure to him. The atheist managed to pull himself from poverty with his help, and did everything he could to repay and take care of his friend thereafter.
The friend died of illness some years later.
The atheist is still an atheist. But he attends mass on the behalf of the religious friend that saved him, and recites the prayers he heard whispered on his deathbed. These borrowed prayers are the closest a man like him could get to being a true believer, but he always holds out hope that those beliefs might enter his head.
There is so much in there, in the story they decided on as our final memento of Gallagher, that this is what was chosen to immortalize him, and ARGH OTL
#honkai star rail#hsr#gallagher#hsr gallagher#honkai star rail gallagher#honkai star rail spoilers#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.3#hsr 2.3 spoilers#interestingly la messe de l'athee was part of a series called... le comedie humaine. the human comedy. the same as the diverted universe.#anyway I am a huge sucker for the loyalty of a hound AUGH#what do you mean Gallagher lived his life dedicated to Mikhail and his cause#what do you mean the regrets that haunt him are that he didn't do enough when Mikhail needed him#what am I supposed to do with this information Hoyo how dare you#it's probably a mercy that we don't see a whole lot of Gallagher and Misha together#otherwise dear god I would not shut up ever#Gallagher says that Misha spent his entire life with him and he's grateful for that#did anyone else know like Micah? who Misha came from or who he used to be? or did Gallagher want to give him a chance at a normal life?#how long were they together? how much time did they spend in each other's company?#were they close? did Gallagher look after him? after this reincarnation of the man he devoted his life too that doesn't even know who he is#orz orz orz#hsr mikhail#mikhail char legwork
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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90% of being disabled is just constant and unending shame
#said on discord#if ask for help? then I get coddled through the easiest of human tasks. embarrassing#don’t ask for help? I have to struggle throigh the easiest of tasks while feeling like dying#they should make an asking for help that’s easy and bearable. instead I need care half the time and I can’t even admit it#because what the fuck else am I supposed to say. not even 25 and I need help making my bed some days. don’t even get me started on cooking#sorry my body isn’t good 👍 sorry I can’t be alive the way everyone else can 👍 sorry I need part time care or else I’ll deteriorate 👍#what the fuck else can I do about it other than survive and swallow my shame#disability stuffz
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Folks…is it normal to constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells around a parent even if it’s not because they lash out/hurt you in any way but instead start spiralling into a monologue of how stressed they are and how they “just don’t have any time nowadays” and how they are suffering so so much.
#like dawg#i just asked IF you wanted to watch tv together and IF so when#and its because they then blame themselves for not spending time with you even though like#i literally dont say anything that could be even vaguely misunderstood as guilttrippy#i literally pull out all the stops of#only if you have time#only if you can#only if you want to#its okay if you dont want to or just cant#but it feels like somehow my very existence is a source of guilt trip for them#i just dont know what to do but profusely start repeating i know and im sorry#like wtf else am I supposed to do hearing a whole vent monologue when I just asked a simple question#i have to stress this happens almost EVERY damn time#i just dont know what to do#folks is it normal#is it normal#is this normal#advice pls#asher's ramblings
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I'm kinda baffled that I've only seen one Callum Crown ask blog so far. And it's... wildly out of character if I'm even allowed to say so. It must've been made before we got all this information on him or by someone who just doesn't know much about him. I don't mean to sound rude in any degree, I'm just surprised, is all.
(Please, someone make an actual callum ask blog, or I may have to do it myself. Which I am admittedly scared to do so.)
#dusty yaps#i would opt to make my own callum ask blog but#i am also dreadfully afraid of makin him out of character#i also dont know enough about him to confidently say i could pull this off#not to mention i already have a tobias ask blog that ive been neglectin#but it would be kinda funny nonetheless#every time i see that callum blog a piece of me dies inside#HE WOULD NOT FUCKIN SAY THAT!!!#i say#not knowin exactly what he would say either#BUT HED BE MORE RESPECTFUL THAN THAT#sorryyyy#the demons are gettin me#i dont even know if that blog is supposed to be callum durin his presidency#or after#its so inconsistent#sorry i just hate to see people get my fave characters wrong#but sayin that makes me feel like an ass#im scared people are gonna think im some self conceited guy who thinks he knows better than everyone else#aauuuhggghhh THE DEMONS
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max has been bitching about george non-stop since saturday and george was the one having an unnecessary meltdown?
please. (Also learn how to tag things no one in george’s tag wants to see your nonsense)
I can tag things as I wish. That wasn't an anti-George post. I'm fairly neutral to him typically. That was me saying that he had the chance to deescalate and opted not to. I am perfectly within my rights to tag as I wish especially because I wasn't bullying or hating on him. I was criticizing a choice he made. He made it publically, so he can be criticized in a public forum so long as I'm not being hateful in my criticism.
Max said his piece on George and said he has never had anyone attack him like that in the stewards and he lost his respect. Which is his opinion. His only responses today were in response to what George said. But Max was not pulling out questionable quotes that can't be proven from the stewards like George did. He was not making up lies and false accusations in his statements. He was stating his opinion that George had acted one way in front of the cameras and then completely different behind closed doors. Based on today, I'd say that was pretty close to what George probably acted like behind closed doors and I can guarantee now that that's out there, George won't be playing buddy-buddy and trying to put his arm around Max tomorrow like last week. Thus proving Max's point.
End of the day, both drivers are allowed to make whatever statements they wish and know the consequences of them. Max stated an opinion that George was offended by, so George fired back. It's not him making statements that I'm criticizing. It's the statements he made. Saying that Max threatens and bullies people. Framing it as if Max is this awful villain that's out to murder people on and off track. Max didn't step a toe out of line with what he did on track and him "impeding" George on a slow lap was laughable since George had all the info and allowed his ambition to get better track position nearly wreck himself out. Everyone admits the steward decision was ridiculous so Max was right to be upset. But he didn't at any point step over the line and try to injure George even while wheel to wheel. Which is what he said Max threatened to do and would have done. And yes, Max probably would've braked later even if he went off track, but end of the day, George wasn't even there when it mattered, which is more a skill issue for him than a Max issue.
#now that last comment is inappropriate to put in the george tag#so i won't#doesn't mean it's not true#i suppose I could always put it in the gax tag#but I'm sure you'd be upset if it went there too#f1#actually you know what#i am going to tag the george tag#because I am not being hateful even with that dig#george admitted his start was shit last week#and i tag based on content#not based on someone else's feelings#i never post hateful things at all but if I were#then i'd use the anti tag#you seeing valid criticism and taking offense when your driver responded the way he did to criticism says much more about you than me#george russell#max verstappen
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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ohhhh this essay was like. definitely plagiarized at least a little bit (<- peer reviewing in the club tonite)
#i am not immune to writing things in similar language to a source bc it's hard to rephrase/i don't fully understand my subject#but this person's voice is so wildly inconsistent that i can't see it being anything else#you did not type out 'language of letters' none of your original thoughts go beyond poorly phrased connective tissue for unquoted#other-source thoughts. what a draft#there's a lot of things that are just kind of unprofessional (first person in an essay we're explicitly not supposed to use that in. callin#authors by their first names. 'of course'. etc)#and im not immune to that either but yk. gotta cut it out in the final submission is all#but it is just a hot mess. that i am editing too intently bc I Need To Fix It#if mr grammar god the god of grammar saw this he'd cry. if you even care#i don't wanna say that they can't use fancy words w/o it being plagiarism bc their grammar is bad bc thats not how that works#but like. just trust me ok#as someone who did the readings. and also it might've been unintentional it's just. definitely half plagiarized yk
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that I’m never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesn’t matter how hard I try I can’t get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyone’s a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesn’t matter I don’t even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me I’m so confused do curations have some#autonomy I don’t think so maybe I don’t fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I can’t be traumatized I’m not human right but I’m having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny I’m fairly certain I’m one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like it’ll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some don’t ?#please understand that I’ve tried very hard I’ve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I don’t know what else to do I’m at a loss and no one will listen to me at all I’ve tried asking offline I’ve tried asking online it doesn’t#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they don’t know what to do I’m suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do it’s all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but I’m#scared what I’ll find who is looking back I’m scared what world I’ll end up in it may be their world I’ll be punished they said yes I’m#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how that’s pathetic but damn I don’t think I can anyway they’ve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes they’re a little funky and just there and other times I’m having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I can’t stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see I’ve been reduced#down into something tiny I’ve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words aren’t my own my thoughts#aren’t my own so is this not my own can’t ever speak none of it’s my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isn’t this#it isn’t safe it isn’t my own it’s not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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i can't be the only one that hates it when i see "i'm sorry" "it's not your fault" in fiction, right. right guys. right. guys. guys . . .
#kotlc#but also it's broader than that#fiction#people need to understand the difference between “i'm sorry” for “i'm apologizing” and for “i am expressing that i sympathize with you”#they are different! and also unique to english if i'm not wrong#like how else are you even supposed to express sympathy if not through saying “i'm sorry”#what else are you supposed to say. tell me. because i can't think of anything else
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why am I so pathetic
that I am left out of the friend group in my own damn house
that I'm always the last person they think to invite (they didn't even invite me this time)
that I'm just around to help them cheat on their worksheets
that I asked them over for my birthday and they sit in my house gaming amongst each other only
that they think they can do whatever they want and just shout over my voice
that even an outsider noticed that they don't bother including me anymore
that even though no one will say it all I am is a destination to hang out
that they just come visit me to talk with each other on my own birthday
that I keep answering all their messages and agreeing to hangouts and desperately following after them hoping something will change no matter how much it just gets worse
why am I so pathetic
#sunny's shitposts#it's too late and it's too hard to make new friends#i don't even feel hate or anything bad#just this empty feeling#wishing i had done more#said more#was more#then they'd finally let me be their real friend#my own best friend of 5 years prefers everyone else haha#they don't even respect the fact that just because they can doesn't mean they should at my house#doing whatever the hell they want and i can't stop them#actually#they don't even ask if I'm okay having them over anymore#they just say go to Sunny's and what am i supposed to say#they're just making plans without me#usually invited last but ig this round they forgot#how can they forget.#i literally said i would be staying back to help with a project#god#I'm tired#im so tired#i wish i never made friends#why am i so pathetic
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I've noticed recently that when I talk my friends aren't interested in what I have to say so I will shut up forever now
#its not even like i talk about fandoms or something#i talk about what happened at work#that's all i do now#sorry I don't have boy problems what can i do#the only problem I had this week was 853 which almost hit us but i guess its not juicy enough or something#like ok yesterday when i was telling the story one friend still listened until i finished which i appreciate but ive noticed that...#they don't really care about what I have to say#and i keep thinking some years ago. i guess i was talking about my cousins a lot since i spend all days with them#and a friend had said 'zaharenia we don't care about your cousins you talk about them all the time' or something like that#and like ok#they were my daily life back then i get it it wasn't interesting. but now i have work problems#and again this is not interesting? this is my daily life what else am i supposed to talk about#i don't have relationship problems. why is that the only interesting thing i don't get it#like one can talk about their boyfriend 24/7 but i can't talk about what's on my mind?#and don't get me wrong. im interested in what my friends have to say. even if they can be repetitive#i do wonder sometimes why we only talk about boys problems but it's ok#but i just feel like they want me to talk about something else since what i say is not interesting. i suppose if i had a crush at work we#would only talk about that#sugarenia talks
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