#and again this is not interesting? this is my daily life what else am i supposed to talk about

[sugaroto]

I've noticed recently that when I talk my friends aren't interested in what I have to say so I will shut up forever now

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 365!

1 year! One whole year of daily doodles!!

Honestly?? Idk how to feel, so much has happened since I first started this blog.

I guess I’ll just write what I’m thinking right now??

(Everything under the cut, this thing is longer than I expected)

A lot of this text probably isn’t going to make sense. I’m writing this at 1 am. If there’s any mistakes or errors that’s why. I’ll fix them in the morning maybe.

So like. This whole thing kinda started as a joke, I wasn’t intending to actually draw for a year straight lmao. Like I even used a completely different art style from my regular one that was simple, quick and intentionally dumb. Not that I’m upset by it, I’m actually quite proud of myself that I managed to stick to something for an entire year. That’s pretty unusual for me believe it or not. My original intention was to stop at maybe 20 days because I really wasn’t expecting for this blog to get as much love as it did.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much to everyone who has followed and supported this silly little idea I had, you guys are the biggest reason my experience has been so positive and worth it. (Sure it’s not original but I hope it’s at least been interesting!)

I’ve said this a few times now but I’ve mentioned wanting to take a break. I’ll admit that even though it’s been fun it’s still pretty tiring to keep up with this blog sometimes since some recent life events have made it so hard. After some thought, I’ve decided that I’ll likely take a break sometime in the coming months. Maybe toward day 400 or so. As of right now, things are at a lull so I’ve been okay enough mentally and physically to keep up this daily streak I think. Though this could change in an instant for whatever reason.

Overall I think my burnout has kind of gone away I think?? Or at least I’ve been reinvigorated recently after replaying a few runs of hk randomizer and steel soul. No promises it’ll stay away but I silly expect it to come in waves.

Ok but call me crazy or delusional or whatever, but my hopes are up that Silksong will release this year. (which means slowing down/not doing daily doodles yay) I genuinely believe big news is coming since I’ve been getting a lot of dreams lately about something happening with Silksong in March. Idk, I could be wrong but after doing this for a year I’m literally clinging onto anything right now lol

I’d obviously still make the occasional doodle or two when HKSS releases but not daily. This stuff is tough to keep up sometimes, I would never do daily posts like this again once it’s over

Oh yeah also I have an actual big drawing I’m still working on, expect that in sometime in the next few weeks I think!

Anyway, I can’t think of anything else to say right now so I guess that’s it for now!

Thanks so much and here’s to more doodles!

[hoshinasblade]

For real, the animator had ri have been a Hoshina loyalists. Cause no way he looks that bad. For a Narumi prompt it could be funny that he gets with someone that doesn't know him. Someone who doesn't believe he is the 1st division captain because they only see him as the "wet cat" version of himself. And we have Narumi losing his mind over the fact you don't believe him

(not sure where tumblr took my post again because i cant find it lol) the budget went to hoshina and his tight shirt and there was nothing left to animate narumi properly. anyway, this is such a cute and interesting prompt because because yes, he is losing his mind over you not believing he is the cool first division captain 😆

pairing: gen narumi x f!reader trigger warnings: narumi gen is a trigger warning himself, just super short because im not used to writing anything narumi-related yet. hopefully you don't get mad at me anon for not going exactly per the ask lol my brain is a mush right now, i'll try harder on my next fics

the rich man is here, shouted the kids from the hallway. you can hear their hurrying footsteps - excited little taps that in turn triggered your heartbeat to race as well. you shut your eyes, calming yourself down.

narumi gen is not exactly a rich man; the children in the orphanage just calls him that fondly. apparently he has been dropping by for years, way back when you weren't working as a teacher yet. the older orphans refer to him as nii-san.

narumi would bring toys snd snacks for the kids, and would spend time with them until the early evening before he has to say goodbye. last time, he played video games with everyone; he brought crayons and sketch boobs for his visit today, and within an hour, it was eerily quiet - the little girls and boys holding their pencils, drawing all sorts of things.

the youngest in your herd, a six-year old boy with a missing front tooth ran to you when he saw you by the door, showing you his drawing - a stick-man figure with a knife in its hand, and an animal beside it which you were not sure whether it's an oversized dog or a giraffe.

"it's a kaiju, and narumi nii-san is fighting it", the boy explained, and you patted him in the head. "he's a captain of his team, i'm gonna be like him when i grow up!"

you looked at narumi who is sitting on the floor, but he was already looking at you. you shifted your gaze. "this is so pretty, we should display it in the art wall", you suggested to the boy who grinned at you, clapping.

"you know that it's not a good thing to do, lying to kids, right?" the children had bid narumi goodbye just past 7pm, and although some of them cried, narumi was quick to promise he would be back next weekend. you were surprised, he used to only be here once a month.

"huh?" he responded to you with confusion. you walked him out the orphanage to the parking lot outside. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"look, i know you are trying to be nice. and i thank you for that. what you've done for these kids is more than anyone else have done for them. but telling them you're some guy who kills kaiju is wrong. and telling them they can be like you?" you scoffed.

narumi's mouth was wide open before he realized you have finished your speech. "but i am a guy who kills kaiju", he replied, his hand on his chest as if he is swearing on his life. "really, i'm not lying. i'm the captain of my team -"

"right, and you fight kaiju on the daily," you finished his sentence for him.

"yes, i am a real badass, i promise!" he exclaimed when he sensed you do not believe him in the slightest. it looks comical how he looks close to panicking over the fact that you are not buying whatever he's selling. he frowned at you, and you stared at him, the eye contact lasting for a few seconds.

maybe this guy is a con-artist and he makes his living manipulating people, you said to yourself. this would make a lot of sense considering you think he has the good looks to lure people in. narumi had flirted at you once or twice before - or you wish he was flirting and you were not just reading too much on his actions.

"you know if you meet my friends, they would tell you the truth," he suggested, his voice cheerful.

"why would i meet your friends?" you asked, equally confused.

"so they can tell you that i am the coolest captain of the anti-kaiju defense force. they would also tell you i am a good man and a dependable friend," narumi said, reciting maybe the contents of his curriculum vitae to you. is he in a job interview? you wanted to ask but didn't.

you sighed in defeat. "are your friends as exasperating as you are?" you asked in jest.

"come on, let me impress you", he told you with sincerity that is almost startling. you were not expecting him to sound so genuine, so adamant at proving himself to you.

the kids will have their dinner in a few minutes and you will be needed to help out. you gave narumi one last glance before strolling back to the orphanage. "i'm off on fridays", you said.

narumi's smile could have lighted the entire street.

[heartfullofleeches]

New y/n idea! How about a darling streamer.... but make it galaxy? Like, their either human or alien, and their a known streamer all across the galaxy! Maybe good picks for their yandere being mono or titus since (from what I remember) their the only known yanderes in space.

Ah! Cutie Alien Darling that travels across the galaxy for new adventures, settling down on earth and starting a new life exploring the wonders the world has to offer - streaming their daily activities as a sort of video journal for themselves and anyone who's interested in their journey. Human Yan's just think they're selling a bit for the most part and it's the most adorable thing-

Mono comes across their blog and see a kindred soul as they left home for the same reasons as darling, and crushes on them hard for how their lights light up at every little thing. Speedruns their human body so they can attend conventions Darling ventures to as well and meet their idol in person. Darling would be so happy to meet another wandering soul and take them out to try their favorite foods, and show them their nick-nack collection. It takes all of Mono not to either propose on the spot or scoop them up and carry them back to their ship to explore the galaxy as the universe's power couple.

Alien would believe they're an alien 100% and sprints to any meet ups they have fully decked out in merch official or not if they haven't made any. Appoints themselves Alien Darling's guide to earth and takes them around the places they adore. Piggyback rides everywhere. Treats Alien Darling like absolute royalty and gushes like the dork he is about it's so great to finally have someone else like him on this hunk of dirt - but still keeps up the totally human act. It's also human custom to kiss your new guide and bodyguard with tongue so uh pucker up, please.

Titus watches their streams to find contestants for the arena, but falls for their bizarre, yet effective charms. Sends guards to monitor them from below while he spends weeks putting together the perfect outfit for his grand appearance. Gifts them the finest minerals from around the galaxy and offers to take them on a tour of the universe for their hand in marriage. Alien Darling gives him their favorite roll of holographic stickers and Titus moves the wedding to right then and there.

-

Alien Darling: Hey, guys! Welcome to day four of cataloging my rock collection from favorite to least favorite, and showing you my absolute favorites. There is no least favorite category because I love them all so I will be presenting them from A to Z by name. This one is Aaron-

Mono: [I thought I had full grasp of the concept of love before now..... It seems I was wrong.]

-

Alien: Hey! Did you know it's customary for humans to hold hands with new friends for a minimum of three hours?

Alien Darling: Oh! No, I didn't. [takes their hand] Thank you for telling me, friend :)

Alien, blushing feverishly: Never washing this hand again - Did you know we also touch lips and if anyone asks I am your boyfriend because I am a boy sometimes and we are friends.

-

Titus: For you, my dear. A necklace containing a vial of my blood - the most sought after prize in all the known universe. You are welcome.

Alien Darling: Thanks! Here's a candy necklace I bought earlier. I ate a few of them already, but it's still good-

Titus, internally: Heavens- I can't not fuck them.

[lonewolflupe]

Echo Of Your Mind (One-Shot)

Help, I'm officially an Echo girlie now. Thanks to @nahoney22 for helping me cross that line with her one-shot That Floral Dress. I got inspired to write my own one-shot after reading hers, and finished it in two days (I may have neglected my sleeping scedule again). I should have focused on other things (like my job), but this gorgeous man doesn't leave my mind alone.

Besides this story being some appreciation for Echo, I dedicate this to all the anxious/introverted/super shy people out there. I feel you, I've been there (I still am), but I found my place in this galaxy. You'll find your place as well!

Summary: Your daily life in Ord Mantell City holds little purpose, and you try keeping away from the unsavoury types that roam the City's streets. But one day, a group of strangers piques your interest. You find yourself falling head over heels for one of them, despite your anxious and shy nature. Rating: Mature (or 16+ at least) Tags: anxiety, hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, (eventual) romance, strangers to lovers, intimacy, sexual content (when becomes a story (mild) smut? help I'm new to this) Words: 7.829k (consisting of four parts) Pairing: Echo x Fem!Reader Read this one-shot here on AO3!

PART I | MORNING

19 BBY, Ord Mantell | Ord Mantell City

Ord Mantell City is a miserable place. To you, at least. You were born here, and are still residing here as an adult. You don't know anyone or any place else in the galaxy, for you've never been away from this forsaken planet.

Of course you have read about the war on the HoloNews, heard stories from seedy strangers roaming the city. But nothing of significance had happened on this planet, nothing that had affected your life. Now that Ord Mantell was under Imperial command, you find nothing much has changed. The place is still awful, and you prefer to remain near your home.

Sudden shouting from the upstairs neighbours disturb your thoughts. You sigh as you get up from the uncomfortable, worn out sofa in your living room, walking towards your front door. You grab a broom on the way and walk outside, taking in the sultry air that holds a grasp on the City.

Your porch is probably the cleanest of Ord Mantell City, since every time you need to clear your head, you find yourself sweeping it. Out of habit, you keep a lookout for any sinister individuals, ready to jolt back inside if you feel something is off.

Which has happened a lot, since Cid’s Parlor is located right across the alley. The bar isn't a crowded one, but most visitors provoke an unpleasant feeling inside you. There was a time during the war it got visited by elegant individuals in static robes occasionally, but times have changed.

The only usuals now are an Ithorian and a Weequay, lurking around the place on a daily basis. You had wondered if they didn't have anything better to do, places to be, only to realise this was Ord Mantell City; there wasn't anything better to do.

A shiver down your spine makes you look up. It is morning and the sun is up, but the narrow, dark alley is mostly lit by the neon signboards hanging from the adjacent buildings. They shed a light on a group of strangers as they come walking around the corner, into the alleyway.

Clumsily, you fidget with your residence’s keycard, nervous feelings taking over as you try to get back inside as quickly as possible. The front door whooshes open and you enter your home, making sure the door closes right behind you.

You take a moment to steady your breathing before walking towards the small, dirty window beside the front door. You clean it quite often, but the city's filth keeps finding its way back to it.

As you wipe some condensation from the inside of the window, you see the strangers halt right in front of Cid’s. You know you shouldn't keep lingering at the window like this; what if they spot you? But something about the strangers piques your interest, and you find it hard to pull away.

“This is the place,” you hear one of them remark in a determined way, before another responds cynically with: “Charming.”

The group consists of four adults, wearing mostly dark, battle-worn armour, their faces hidden behind intimidating helmets. In between them, there is a young, energetic girl with short, blonde hair. You raise a brow as you watch them descend the stairs into the bar, not averting your gaze until they disappear from your view.

With your mind racing, you find yourself strolling back to the sofa, sitting down when you reach it. You have never seen anything like these strangers at Cid's before, and you wonder what the Trandoshan is up to now.

Although obviously customised, their armour did remind you of the attire worn by clones, the former Republic's soldiers. You have never seen any with your own eyes before, but you remember seeing pictures and holovids on the HoloNet.

As your thoughts wander, you finally find something to do, distracting you from what you just witnessed. You continue your daily activities and leave the strangers to Cid.

---

During the following days and weeks, you get occasional glimpses of the strangers. They seem to have some business going on with Cid, because you can't imagine them revisiting the bar for its atmosphere. You even get some glimpses of the adults without their helmets, which only confuses you more. You thought they were clones, but they look nothing alike?

Since you have a lot of time alone with your thoughts, you find them on your mind more often. Who are they, where did they come from, did they fight in the war? Are they really clones, were they soldiers, and what are they now, perhaps bounty hunters? But what is the young girl doing with them? She looked happy and enthusiastic. What is a kid like her doing with such companions?

---

One of those days, you find yourself walking through the alley with some groceries in your arms. You hold everything together clumsily, admitting you're probably carrying too much in one go. When you finally make it to your front door, you reach for your keycard in your right pocket - only to find out it isn't there.

You scold yourself softly as you fidget through your pockets, hoping you just put it in a different one. Your groceries start sliding away, a piece of fruit falling on your porch and rolling away into the alleyway.

���Let me help you with that,” you suddenly hear a voice behind you. Eyes wide open, you look up in shock, previously unaware of the fact you weren't alone. You look right into the face of one of Cid's newest associates. Your breath gets caught in the back of your throat as you stand frozen to the ground.

The male walks up to you, the fallen piece of fruit in his hand. He puts it back with the other groceries, before taking the load out of your arms. When you don't move or reply, he takes a step back. “I'm sorry if I startled you,” he says whilst averting his gaze from you for a brief moment.

You look up at his face. It somewhat reminds you of what you've seen from clones on the HoloNet, but it isn't an exact copy. Pale skin, sunken cheeks, dark rims below his eyes. On the top of his head, you see numerous cybernetic implants, and bend around the back of his head is a metal headpiece. He definitely doesn't look like a typical clone.

When you look back into his eyes, you can see them filled with kindness, concern even. You regain yourself, as you don't want to come over as rude. “I-I’m sorry,” you stammer, your eyes darting back and forth as you don't know where to focus them, “I'm not really used to..”

“Clones?” he finishes your sentence, as you clearly didn't know what term to use. A comforting smile appears on his face, and you feel a bit more at ease instantly. “Well, social interaction in general,” you blurt out, immediately followed by a blush on your cheeks. He chuckles amused, as you shuffle on your feet awkwardly.

You suddenly realise you were in the middle of a keycard crisis, and you continue your search. It proves way more effective without any groceries blocking your arms, and it doesn't take you long before you find it - in a different pocket than usual, of course. You put the card in the slot and the front door whooshes open.

With a cautious smile on your face, you gesture to the clone to enter your very humble abode. He enters, and once inside, you pass him to show him a spot in your kitchen to put down the groceries. He manages without any more falling food, which you find rather impressive, given the fact how you had struggled with them earlier.

When he retracts his arms once the groceries are on the kitchen's counter, you notice one of them is partly machine. You freeze again, and the clone catches you staring at his mechanical limb. “Comes in handy sometimes,” he says jokingly, as he reaches out the scomp at the end of his socket-arm to show it to you.

You cannot help but laugh at his remark, lifting some of the tension. He smiles at you genuinely, pleased he was able to put you at ease. “Name's Echo, by the way,” he finally says. You give him your name in return. “Nice to meet you. I already thought I'd seen you before,” he says, as he looks at the window beside the front door.

You swallow as the blush on your cheeks reappears. You could slap yourself in the face; how did you think none of these trained men would notice you observing them, day in, day out?

“I, er- This isn't exactly the most safe neighbourhood around, you know, so I tend to keep an eye out,” you stammer, turning around to aimlessly rearrange your groceries. Echo chuckles, turning towards you again. “You don't have to defend your actions. It's your window, use it however you like,” he says, tilting his head slightly whilst observing you.

He thinks your shyness and awkwardness are endearing. In this vast, wild galaxy, sliding from the war into the Empire's cruelties, he rarely encounters innocence anymore. He notices you still hold yours, and he finds it soothing.

“Since you caught me.. ‘Using my window’,” you finally start saying, slowly as you consider your words carefully, “How can Ord Mantell City possibly be of any interest to you and your friends?” You regret asking immediately after your words are out, but Echo doesn't seem to mind.

“We just need to work some jobs to pay the bills, so to speak,” he replies casually, shrugging as if it isn't anything out of the ordinary for them. Of course you wonder what jobs and what bills he's talking about, but you would never dare to ask; your previous question was already quite bold for your standards.

So you don't inquire any further, but you gather all your courage to heed a warning. “Just.. Be careful around Cid. She's not the most.. Reliable individual around,” you say softly, afraid someone outside your home will hear it if you speak out louder.

Echo's lips curl into a smile, as he puts his hand on your arm for a brief moment. “Thanks for the heads-up, I'll keep it in mind,” he says, grateful for your concern. You finally find the heart to look up into his eyes, and you find yourself losing in them instantly. They are soft and kind, with a glister of confidence and certainty. But you cannot help noticing the pain, the hurt and the fatigue behind those eyes.

You don't know anything about this man except for his name, but the mixture of emotions in his eyes, the invisible scars you feel he is hiding, the unspoken reason why he's clearly on the run, it gives you the urge to comfort this man. A feeling deep down inside you, which you haven't felt before.

Of course you don't, because it would make you even more uncomfortable than before. You abruptly break your eye contact and turn around again, scolding yourself for your very own behaviour, but you can't help it; this is who you are.

Since you turned around, you cannot notice, but Echo's smile widens. You actually told him quite a lot by the words you didn't speak, by the way you did behave and how you just looked into his eyes.

Although he wouldn't mind staying for a bit longer, because he appreciates some quiet time away from the Batch and he finds it pleasantly soothing being around you, he realises you need some space, and he doesn't want to intrude on you any further. “Sorry for bothering you in your home, I'll be on my way,” he finally says, nodding at you in a respectful way once you've turned towards him again.

He walks over to the front door and pushes the entry button, and the door whooshes open. You rush after him, afraid he'll just disappear out of your life like that, but as always, you are lost for words. He walks across the alley, and just before he makes it to the stairs to descend into Cid's, you find your words.

“You- You aren't a bother,” you say shyly, as you hope he doesn't notice the blush on your cheeks from across the alley. He turns around, with a warming smile on his face, which makes you melt. You had no idea who these men, these clones were, but you definitely didn't think them to be the gentle kind.

“See you around then,” he says to you at last, making a very small salute with his scomp, before turning around again and disappearing down the stairs. You get back inside your home, and when the door closes behind you, you lean your back against it and let out a heavy sigh.

Who would have guessed any of Cid's visitors would awake such feelings inside you?

…

PART II | AFTERNOON

19 BBY, Ord Mantell | Ord Mantell City

It's been a while since you've seen Cid's latest associates, so you start to assume they moved on to find a new job, somewhere across the galaxy. An aching feeling inside you yearns for something you seem to have missed out on, something that could have been.

You sigh out loud as you lean back on your sofa. Your days were already long and lonely, but now it seems like they are even more meaningless. You wish you had the courage to get out into the galaxy, to be someone.

You suddenly hear sounds coming from the alleyway out front, and something tells you it's not your upstairs neighbours. With optimism you feel is misplaced, you dart over to the small window beside your door. You've been cleaning it on a daily basis since that one day, making sure you can get any glimpse possible whenever you peer outside.

Your heart skips a beat when you realise what - or who - made the sounds outside; it's Cid's associates. And Echo is still one of them. You pull away from your window to catch your breath, as a warm feeling starts emerging inside you again. He is safe, and he is in town again. You couldn't hope for anything more at this moment.

If only you had the courage to go outside. If he had been on his own, you might have dared to step outside, to walk up to him, but not with his friends around. So you stay put, awaiting a better moment patiently. You've become quite good at that.

---

It is only the next day when you catch him on his own. As you walk casually past your window (you weren't lurking around to catch any glimpse of him at all), you spot him as he comes walking out of Cid's and into the alleyway.

When he reaches the top of the stairs, he halts and starts rubbing his closed eyelids, his head slightly hanging. It looks like he is having a hard time, and your urge to comfort him reappears. You swallow as you gather all your courage.

This is your moment. If you loiter now, you might never get another chance again - let alone the courage. As you put aside all your thoughts and try listening to your heart for once, you push the entry button and your front door whooshes open.

Echo looks up at you, and a smile appears on his tired face as he is pleasantly surprised to see you. He utters your name softly, and a blush appears on your face; he had remembered your name.

“Would you- Would you like to come in for a caf?” you stammer, shifting on your feet as you await his answer. You don't have to wait long. “I would love a caf,” he replies, before crossing the alley, walking up your porch and entering your home. You can't help noticing he was taking big steps, almost running to your door, as if he couldn't wait to reach you.

Inside, you move aside a chair at your small table, inviting him to sit down. He does so gladly, and you walk towards the kitchen's counter to make a fresh pot of caf. Your mind races as you wait for it to finish, but Echo waits for you patiently, not in a hurry at all.

When the pot is finally ready, you pour two mugs and join him at the table. “I, er- I was afraid you weren't coming back to Ord Mantell,” you admit softly, whilst handing him one of the mugs. His fingertips touch yours for a very brief moment when he takes the mug from you; was that intentional? A warm feeling emerges in your head, and you're sure you're blushing - again.

“I appreciate your concern,” he starts, as he holds up the mug of fresh caf under his nose, inhaling deeply. He closes his eyes for a moment as he is appreciating the scent; he was clearly in need of it. He opens his eyes again, as they focus on you. “But you, er- You shouldn't worry about us,” he says with a wry smile on his face.

Seeing the expression on his face makes you do the exact opposite of his words; you start worrying. And now that you look at him, you notice he looks overworked and exhausted; he looks worn. You put down your mug, hitting the table harder than you anticipated, as you were putting all your emotions in that small movement. It startles you, and he chuckles in amusement.

“Really, there's nothing to worry about. We've been around and we know our way through the galaxy,” he reassures you, both his eyebrows raised as he slightly leans forward, towards you. Your heart skips another beat when you look at his gentle face.

Suddenly, his expression shifts to a confused one. “Why do you care so much?” he asks, shaking his head in his confusion, not sure why a stranger would worry about his well-being. But if he was being honest with himself, you didn't feel like a stranger anymore.

You swallow, your eyes darting back and forth again, searching for the right words. Your fingers fidget around the rim of your mug nervously. “You seem like a.. Like a good person. I don't see those around here often,” you finally falter, before looking him straight in the eyes.

The planet around you seems to die down when you lose yourself into his golden-brown eyes. They are the prettiest eyes you've ever seen, but then again, you've never stared into someone's eyes like this before. But you can't imagine eyes being prettier than his.

He puts his hand on yours, stopping the fidgeting, as your nerves make place for something else. Your heartbeat rises and your breathing becomes heavy. “Echo, I..” you stammer, but you don't finish your sentence. You have a hard time handling your feelings, not used to this kind of intimacy.

You jump out of your seat, accidentally knocking the chair over in the process. The noise of it hitting the floor startles you, and you do not notice Echo getting up as well. He gently touches your shoulder with his hand, and when you turn to him in surprise, he is standing right in front of you.

You've never been this close to him before. You see his eyes glisten comfortingly, his nostrils moving as he breathes, his Adam’s apple going up and down as he swallows.

Without thinking, you slowly shift your hand towards his cheek. Before you reach his skin though, he moves his head towards your hand, pushing his cheek against it, as he longs for your touch. Letting out a content sigh, he closes his eyes for a moment, and you see his eyebrows twitch in delight.

Now he finally feels your touch. You notice his chest heaving faster than before, and you realise that - maybe - he longs for you as much as you for him. You lick your lips and leave some space between them, making your heavy breathing more audible. It makes Echo open his eyes, as he yearns to touch those lips.

This time, he reaches his hand towards your face, and he gently caresses your cheekbone. His fingertips slide softly through your hair to the back of your head, and when he reaches it, he gently pulls you closer.

It feels like an eternity to reach each other, and your mind is racing. But all your thoughts are quieted down when your lips finally touch. You gasp as your breathing stops for a moment, your eyelids closing instantly as your eyes roll back.

Echo puts his mechanical arm around your waist, and with the utmost care, as not to hurt you with it, he pulls you closer. Your lips are pressed together, moving passionately against each other as you both finally give in to your longing.

You feel his breath on your skin and you let out a deep sigh, brushing his tender lips. He thinks yours are the softest, and he can't get enough of tasting them. As he indulges in you, you cannot help yourself by letting out a soft moan of pleasure.

He tightens his grasp around your waist when he hears your expression of content. He thought being apart from you was driving him insane these last few weeks, but now that he is finally close to you, he feels like he is losing it. Your innocence, your genuine and comforting soul, your beautiful appearance, your soft skin and your perfect lips..

Abruptly, he pulls away from you. He is afraid he will lose himself in you, going too far, ruining this perfect afternoon. He knows you'll need a little space after this, and he doesn't want to push you - although you might have complied if he'd asked for more.

Your eyes shoot open as you look at him confused; did you do something wrong? But his expression is all soft and loving, and you instantly melt by his sight. He leans forward to you again, but instead of kissing you, he gently puts his forehead against yours.

Not aware of the meaning - or even the existence - of a Keldabe kiss, you return the gesture anyway, as you think it's sweet. But to Echo, it means the galaxy.

After a long moment, the two of you pull away slowly. You wish it could have lasted forever, and Echo would have liked to hold you for a bit longer, but it had to end at one point. You look up at him, a loving smile on your face. He gently strokes your cheek with his thumb.

“Thank you, cyar'ika*,” he whispers, as he gently places a kiss on your forehead. You haven't heard that word before, and don't know what it means, but you're too caught up in the moment to spoil it by asking.

*cyar’ika = darling/sweetheart

At that moment, Echo's comm device starts beeping. He answers it without hesitation. “Echo, where are you? We need you to break a tie. Wrecker and I think Cid's next job sounds exciting, but Hunter and Tech.. Not so much.”

You see Echo's eyes soften as he responds to the girl. You'd like to hear more about his companions, but it seems like you have to wait until next time. You really hope there will be a next time.

Echo puts his comm device away before turning towards you, ready to apologise for his departure. But you beat him to it. “It's okay, go to them. Just- Just don't forget to come by whenever you're back in the City,” you tell him, as you put your flat hands on his chest armour. He puts his hand and scomp on top of your hands, as you swallow away the lump in your throat; you're well aware his coming back isn't a certainty at all.

He feels your worries, and although he knows he shouldn't be making any promises he can't keep, he wants to ease your mind. “I'll come find you,” he says determined, as he gently nods towards you. You smile back in return, gently placing a kiss on his cheek before you walk him to the front door.

Just before he reaches the door, you grab his hand. “Please, Echo.. Be careful out there,” you whisper, as he steps over your doorstep. He stretches his arm, keeping hold of your hand for as long as possible. “I'll do my best,” he replies, before letting go of your grasp.

You stand in your doorway, watching him cross the alley again, disappearing into Cid's. And after that, you keep standing in your doorway a little longer, hoping to catch another glimpse of him.

…

PART III | EVENING

c. 19/18 BBY, Ord Mantell | Ord Mantell City

As the sun slides away, looming shadows fill the alleyway. The neon signboards on the adjacent buildings cast their flashing lights about. The alley is empty, abandoned, apart from an occasional straying stranger.

You're lying on your sofa, your back aching from the uncomfortable hardness of it, but you don't have the will to move. Your thoughts wander as you gaze up towards the ceiling, thinking, hoping you will see him again.

As always, it's been a while. Echo has visited you a few times after that perfect afternoon, but his visits had been short; barely enough time to check on each other. You yearn to spend some more time together, maybe pick up where the two of you have left off.

But you know he is working a job with his squad, as you haven't seen them in a while. You put away your desires and hope he is doing alright. He told you not to worry, but you do worry a lot; you cannot help it.

---

You have almost dozed off when you hear excited voices coming from outside, immediately shaking you fully awake. Your body stiff, you manage to get up, and you stumble towards the window. Echo. A hopeful smile appears on your face as you finally see him and his squad again.

You still haven't mustered the courage to run outside to meet him as long as his friends are around, but you've grown a tad bolder; you push the entry button and your front door whooshes open.

As your heart races in your chest, a feverish feeling washing over you, you wait against the wall between the door and the window, out of sight. You're hoping he notices the open door and sees it as an invitation.

“Go, we'll manage Cid,” you hear a low voice from across the alley, a slight tone of amusement in the voice. Your heart skips a beat when you hear the sound of someone stepping closer and closer to your front door..

When Echo finally makes it to your doorstep, you spin in front of him and land in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck. He is caught off guard for a moment, not used to you being this kind of initiative. But he doesn't mind; he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer, before kissing you tenderly.

When you finally pull apart, you look up to him, your eyes full of concern. “I-I was afraid something had happened,” you confess softly, almost in a whisper. He gently strokes your cheek before wiping a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I told you not to worry,” he replies, a bit stern, but his eyes soft.

You cannot help but scoff as you cross your arms, raising one eyebrow. “And you never worry about anyone?” you shoot at him teasingly. His expression softens. “All the time,” he says softly, before pulling you close again, continuing the kissing.

---

After your warm welcoming, you manage to get him some well deserved caf. As always, he doesn't give you any details about their latest job, because he knows your worries will multiply if you know what he's up to. And he doesn't want to drag you into the ugliness of the current state of the galaxy, as you're still as innocent as the first day he met you. And he loves you for it.

“So, er- how long will you stay this time?” you finally stammer, afraid he'll walk out again and he'll be off for another few weeks. Of course you meant to ask how long he and his squad would be staying on Ord Mantell in general, but he takes the leap.

“We're not gonna make new plans until the morning, so I'll have all night, if you'd like,” he replies, his soft smile sliding into a faint smirk as you see a sparkle in his eyes. You swallow; you really like his answer, but your nerves are playing up again, not sure what the evening will bring. And as always, you're lost for words.

Is it you, or is it getting hot in here? You're sure your head has turned red by now, and you need to cool down. You excuse yourself to him as you stand up, making sure to not knock over your chair this time, and walk towards your bedroom.

You open the door to the adjacent room, but something inside you decides to leave it open. You take off your thick shirt and slide into something more breathable.

When you turn around, Echo is leaning against the doorpost, his arms crossed and his foot bend around the other. You didn't turn on any lights when you entered your bedroom, so you cannot see the expression on his face. The only light comes from the room behind him, shedding a highlight around the contours of his body.

You freeze to the floor as you stare at each other in silence. Echo finally straightens himself, getting clear of the doorpost, and starts walking over to you slowly. Your heart skips a beat; you feel slightly vulnerable in your own bedroom, not sure how long he'd been standing there, watching you. But although you don't know how to go on from here, you definitely want it to continue.

When he reaches you, he starts caressing your cheek. You look up to his face, your eyes wide as they glisten, your lips apart in full anticipation. Before he reaches for them, you find your words. “I.. I’d like you to stay for the night,” you whisper shyly, yet honestly. There's nothing you want more at this moment.

“Then I'll stay,” he replies tenderly, a gentle smile on his face before he leans towards you, pressing his lips on yours. You close your eyes as you indulge into his kiss, forgetting everything around you.

After some passionate kissing, Echo slowly shifts his lips to your cheek, sliding down to your neck. You feel his warm breath on your skin, making something awaken inside you. His lips reach the spot between your neck and shoulder, starting with soft, tender kisses, but slowly evolving into something more confident, something more eager and desirous.

He is still very tender with you. Although he doesn't bite, you feel his teeth against your skin, the tip of his tongue dancing on you as he tastes you. A moan of pleasure escapes your throat, and you feel a shiver going through Echo's body.

He gently leads you backwards, towards your bed. You comply willingly, and when you reach it, you sit down whilst you guide him down as well, your hand grasped around the rim of his chest plate, below his neck. He kneels down before you, and you gaze into each other’s eyes for a moment before continuing.

“Are you.. Are you alright with this?” he asks softly, concern in his voice. But there is nothing he should be worrying about right now. You nod determined, a smile appearing on your face. “Yes, very much,” you finally muster, before you land another kiss on his lips. You feel his lips curl into a smile below yours.

You start fidgeting with his armour, but taking it off proves quite difficult, since you haven't interacted with anything like it before. He chuckles softly before aiding you in your conquest. When the pieces start coming off, and you start taking off his black jumpsuit, you pull away in shock and disbelief when you notice what you revealed.

“What did they do to you?” you blurt out, as your eyes wander his body, where you find mechanical ‘adjustment’ after adjustment. He swallows, slightly pulling away from you. He was so caught up in the moment, caught up in you, that he didn't think about this. Didn't think you would be taken aback by him.

“It's.. It's in the past,” he mumbles, averting his gaze from yours. A moment of silence, before he softly adds: “You can leave those on, if it disturbs you.” He reaches back for his blacks, but you stop him by grasping his hand. You cup your other hand below his chin, and gently guide his gaze back towards yours. “No, I'd like to have you like you are,” you say in a sweet way, and your words make him melt.

Taking your clothes off happens in a heartbeat, compared to Echo’s attire. Both your chests are heaving and your breathing is heavy with anticipation. As Echo slowly reaches up to you, you let yourself fall backwards onto the sheets, your arms stretched above your head. He slowly crawls on top of you, admiring your beauty, wondering how you’re able to still retain your innocence as you lay naked below him.

When you're finally face to face, you wrap one arm around his neck, careful not to hit his mechanical spine too hard. Your other hand starts caressing his metal sternum, as you take in every detail of his body. Your hand slides towards his face, where you touch the metal headpiece around the back of his head.

“Is this.. Is this detachable?” you ask softly, cautiously, as you don't want Echo thinking you like him any less with him wearing it. He smiles, and takes it off. It reveals his ears, and you can't help smiling in the most affectionate way; he has the cutest ears.

This time, it's Echo who's blushing. You let your fingertips wander the rim of his ear, and you find out he's a tad ticklish around there. He twitches his brows as he tries to regain himself. You chuckle, before you let your hand slide behind the back of his head and pull him close.

Your lips touch again, and you start kissing tenderly. The tips of your tongues touch, as they shyly meet halfway. Echo groans as you softly start biting his lower lip. You cannot help it, but the sound arouses you. You gasp and slowly part your legs, and finally wrap them around his pelvis.

He gladly accepts the invitation, looking at your face when he slowly enters you at last. Your eyes are closed, your head slightly tilted backwards. You bite your lower lip, your eyebrows wrinkled as it hurts, but he continues as gently as possible. Once he's fully inside, you let out a sigh as the tension from your face disappears.

The hurt turns into pleasure as he slowly moves his pelvis against yours. He is still looking at your face, making sure you're alright, that he's not hurting you anymore. When he finds a pleasing rhythm, you let out a moan, which would have startled yourself if you hadn't been this caught up in the moment. A shiver runs down Echo's body, which you feel inside.

You open your eyes with a gasp, and you look up at his face. His golden-brown eyes are admiring you, and his lips are curled into a smile. You feel the blush reappear on your cheeks, but you don't worry about it too much; Echo is used to it by now.

Without thinking too much about it, you sit upright as much as your intertwined bodies allow. A bit awkwardly, you try to swap positions. Echo helps you out once he realises what your intentions are. He is slightly surprised, since this is clearly your first time, but you want to take the lead now. But he isn't complaining.

Echo lays down on his back as you position yourself on top of him. You taste his lips again, before straightening your back. You guide him back inside you and start moving your pelvis up and down, starting slow but increasing the pace as you gain a bit of confidence in what you're doing. You close your eyes as you focus on the moment.

Echo looks up at you in both admiration and adoration. He positions his hand and scomp on either side of your moving hips. He is careful with the metal part of his right arm, because he doesn't want to distract you. Slowly, his hand and scomp slide upwards, reaching higher, until they reach your breasts.

He keeps his hand and scomp at the sides of your breasts, caressing your warm skin with his thumb. He doesn't feel the need to go further, as he doesn't want to objectify you, he doesn't want to take your innocence away. But he is touching sensitive skin and you let out another moan, your eyebrows wrinkling again, this time out of pleasure.

He's never seen your face this expressive before, and it feeds his excitement. He wants to get closer to you, and in a sudden, abrupt movement, he sits up straight, supporting his body with his socket-arm. You open your eyes in surprise and find his face just centimetres from yours. Your noses brush, your lips almost touching.

You continue your movements, and you notice the angle you find yourselves in is even more pleasing than before. Echo wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you close, your breasts against his chest. You put your hands on his back as you continue, your fingers sinking into his pale skin.

Your gazes keep locked as you quicken your pace, feeling your pleasure is reaching its climax. And Echo's too; he groans through clenched teeth, tightening his grip around your waist. You feel the muscles in his lower abdomen tighten. You moan from the tingling sensation you experience down below, and as you softly whisper his name in ecstasy, he releases all his tensions.

Still holding you, Echo falls backwards on your bed, taking you with him. When he lands on his back, you roll off him, to his right side. Your chests are heaving and you both are panting from your fusion, your intimacy. Your heads turn towards each other, and you both smile when your gazes meet again.

You start caressing his metal arm beside you. You would have liked to hold his hand, but it doesn't matter; this is Echo, and you love all of him.

…

PART IV | NIGHT

c. 19/18 BBY, Ord Mantell | Ord Mantell City

The evening has elapsed into the night, but your sense of time is gone. After your intimate get-together, Echo is still laying on his back on your bed, and you wish he could stay forever. You are curled around him, your leg arched around his pelvis, your head on his shoulder, your arm on his chest as you softly caress his skin and his cyborg parts you encounter on the way.

Eyes closed, he has his cheek pressed against the top of your head, his socket-arm wrapped around your upper body as he only focuses on your gentle touching and gentle breathing. He groans softly in content as you trace your fingertips over his skin.

“Why, er- why are you guys on the run?” you ask suddenly, in a soft and cautious way. The question has been on your mind for what seems like forever, and now that you've been this intimate with Echo, you finally have the courage to ask him.

He swallows as he slightly turns his head away from yours, his eyes opening and his gaze on the ceiling. “I really don't want to drag you into it,” he finally answers with a sigh. You heave yourself up slightly, your body still against his, but being able to look at his face.

“Echo, I'm worrying about you anyway. So I think it's only fair to me to know what I'm worrying about,” you shoot at him, and you're surprised by your own boldness. Echo looks at you, a smile appearing on his face as he thinks the same. “You're right, cyar’ika*.”

*cyar’ika = darling/sweetheart

“We're on the run from the Empire. We were soldiers of the Republic, but when the Imperials took control, well.. Let's just say we didn't part on good terms,” he finally tells you, a wry smile on his face. You're silent for a moment. As the war and the political takeover have had no impact on your personal life, you try to imagine how it must be for Echo, for his squad.

“What was the war like?” you ask in a whisper, so soft he almost missed it. Your head is still turned towards his face, but your gaze slides away. He looks back at you, and with his hand, he cups your chin, caressing your skin with his thumb.

“It was- it was both dreadful and.. And familiar, I guess,” he starts slowly, searching for the right explanation, being mindful to spare you from any details about the suffering and the losses. He wets his lips before continuing.

“We clones were created as soldiers for war, so there wasn't anything else for us. We were all brothers, fighting side by side, under the command of the Jedi. There was.. A lot of death and devastation, but we knew what our purpose was. We had each other.”

He pauses for a moment, his eyes blank as his gaze is unfocused. You want to comfort him, as it's clear to you he hasn't processed all the events during and after the war very well. But you lay still, as you feel there's more for him to tell. You don't want to interrupt him, distract him from finally speaking out his feelings, pouring his heart out.

His gaze returns to yours, as his hand shifts away from under your chin, and he wipes a lock of your hair behind your ear. He smiles for a very brief moment before continuing. “When the war ended, we lost our purpose, I guess. The war was awful, but at least we knew who we were, what we had to do. But when it ended and the Empire emerged, none of us really knew what was happening.”

You notice he's lost in thoughts again. He is thinking about Crosshair, now doing the bidding of the Empire. How they had to leave him, their brother, behind back on Kamino. How the squad had saved himself prior to those events, from the torture of his mind back at Skako Minor. How the Skakoans had experimented on him after the explosion at the Citadel. How he hadn't been around when Fives had needed him the most, how he had held 99 in his arms after his death. How he hadn't been able to save Hevy, Cutup and Droidbait, which seems an eternity ago now.

When you see tears forming in his eyes, you finally decide it's the right time to comfort him. You lean towards him, put your right hand on his jaw, and place the most tender, loving kiss on his forehead. You feel his grip around you tighten as he pulls you close. You wrap your arms around his neck and start cradling him, as silent tears run down his cheeks.

---

The night progresses with a lot more talking and comforting. Tonight, you have learned more about Echo and his squad than all the previous times you two met up combined. As Echo continues his experiences and confessions, you notice he's opening up to you, finally sharing details.

Although his stories are devastating and you had never imagined all this could happen to one person in only a couple of years, you love listening to his voice, as your naked bodies lay pressed against each other in a loving embrace. Your head is positioned on his chest, as it slowly rises and falls with every breath he takes.

You wish he could stay forever, just the two of you in your humble abode, but you know he can't leave his squad behind. The Empire will keep looking for them, for Omega. And you know what that means; they can't stay on Ord Mantell forever. You knew this beforehand, before you got yourselves close with one another, but the thought is still devastating to you.

But after all of Echo's stories and explanations, you understand. You finally have a better view of the galaxy beyond Ord Mantell, the advantages and the flaws of the Clone Wars, and how the Empire currently reigns with terror and oppression. Something is rotting in this galaxy, but there are still people out there trying to fight it, to fight for the good, for the well-being of the galaxy's citizens.

---

When the morning breaks, you know by the gut-wrenching feeling inside you it's time for Echo to go. He has to meet up with his squad to discuss their next step, to prepare their next mission, and you know he can't let them down. He won't let them down.

You slide into something comfortable and watch him get back into his blacks and armour. The easiness of his movements tells you he's done it a hundred times. A smile appears on your face, but there is sadness in it as well; you hate to see him leave.

At your front door, you both take the time to prolong the moment, to delay his inevitable departure. Your lips melt together in a passionate kiss one last time. You hug each other tightly, before moving apart reluctantly. You look each other in the eyes, taking everything in one last time, to never forget the moments you shared together.

“Thank you, cyar’ika*,” Echo whispers, before he presses his forehead to yours. You swallow, and after you both pull away, you finally ask: “What does that mean?” An affectionate smile appears on his face, his eyes somewhat sad but incredibly thankful for what you've given him. “That you mean the galaxy to me.”

*cyar’ika = darling/sweetheart

…

Epilogue

You don't know if you will see him again after this, but he has given you something. He ignited a spark inside you, as you now are fully aware there is more in this galaxy, more than just Ord Mantell City. He has given you the courage to free yourself from this place, even if that means diving into the unknown. But you are ready now.

Echo taglist: @covert1ntrovert

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

Currently Watching - April

aka The Masterlist

Because I love a good little list - in alphabetical order! 😊

Regularly updated during the month, latest update 30.04.2024

A little link to my favorite bl-tropes-collection 💙

I am happy about gif-requests 🌼

Here you can find all of my gifs.

Tracking: #josistag

At the end you can have a look at what we can expect in April with a MDL link and a link for a trailer (if avaible).

This is guaranteed to contain spoilers!

1. 25 Ju, Akasaka de 🇯🇵 (2/10)

They were fellow students and now they have to play in a BL together. One of them is two years older and popular. For the other one, this is his first big role and he needs it, so he is determined to to anything he needs to do, to be a good actor. Even when this means to find a partner and fall in love to be able to play the role perfectly. Why not try to be lovers with your co-star. All for the sake of the series of course.

2. Blue Boys 🇰🇷 (2/4)

This short series is quite good. I saw the first episode by chance and I was hooked, but lost it again, because I couldn't track it on MDL. Now it is up there. I hope these two can resolve their missunderstanding, with talking! But they are too hungry for each other...

3. Boys Be Brave! 🇰🇷 (2/8)

Enemies to lovers, but different. Jinwoo likes Kisub and Kisub knows this. But while Kisub gives his heart away to every person who hits on him and can't really say No to anyone, Jinwoo loves to build up his wall and hide behind a strong No. Their worlds collide, when Kisub moves in with Jinwoo, if he likes it or not. Great first episodes!

4. Cityboy_Log 🇰🇷 (12/?)

They are back and unhinged like before! Jihan and Jaejun met after a while because they were busy and it seems they had some catching up to do the night before. We get some daily vlogging, some cuteness and some jealousy, which wasn't that cute. But they are finally back and I am happy. The acting is still very good. There is no deeper story behind, just some idols, models and actors falling in love with each other and theit daily lifes.

5. Deep Night 🇹🇭 (3/8)

his is everything I was expecting, so it didn't disappoint, I guess. To be honest, I watch this for First. I guess he would have chemistry with a stick, soooo this is nice. And I hope the story, at least stays like this and won't get worse... Update: This show is a mess 😂 there is so much going on all at once and at the same time nothing really happens? It is so confusing, yet very entertaining. But Wela, my dear, it is totally okay to be pissed if one fucks with you, while you are so drunk you can't remember shit the next day... Just a thought.

6. Kare no Iru Seikatsu 🇯🇵 (3/8)

Kazuhito has no girlfriend and the ones he had, broke up with him, because they felt he likes someone else... Who might that be?... The story is simple, I guess? (But perhaps not that simple... The preview for ep 3 looks interesting.) Childhood friends are forced to move in together after spending time apart. One is a little bit naive and is trying to find out why girls breaking up with the most charming and handsome guy he knows and the latter is in love with the naive one and in the end they have their happy ending. I like it. I want to see their growth.

7. Love Is Like A Cat 🇰🇷 (10/12)

Who thought this was a good idea? Who wrote this? Who said cut at the end of scenes? Who thought this is be the way Mew should act? I cringe so hard and not in a funny way. This series is just bad. I keep watching because of this little bean. But I had to skip so many scenes in today's episodes, because it was just so bad! And I can't figure out if Mew just didn't want to be there and act or if that is the way the director wanted him to act... But the acting is bad. Bad choices everywhere. And the dialogues? Cringe... Why would a bean like Dae Byeol fall for Uno? Nope...

8. My Stand-In 🇹🇭 (1/12)

Okay, hear me out. I watch this for Poom and for Poom only. But the story lookes interesting, it was quite intriguing. I don't know why, but I cringed a bit too much at some scenes. But Poom is beautiful and that is all I care about. Yes, I can be this shallow!

9. Only Boo 🇹🇭 (4/12)

The cringe was so strong with this one this week! I had to pause multiple times, but at the same time I enjoyed it so much! Moo is so unhinged and I love him! But please! Don't let Moo's cousin become a possible love interest for Kang. I know we got this dream sequence this week, but there is something in the air between Shone and him... and I don't like it. The second couple... I felt really sad for them this week. Beeing in love with your best friend is never easy...

10. Unknown 🇹🇼 (12/12)

The story about found family, childhood trauma and struggling topped with a lovestory between "brothers". They aren't really brothers so I really don't care and just enjoy this forbidden and hurtful lovestory to the fullest. This is exactly what I hoped for! The longing, tension and hurting is so good! It is the aftermath of the shooting and Qian is still dealing with his emotions and his feelings for Yuan. The love between them is real and strong, but Qian is afraid and can't just let his heart decide over the head, yet. He loves Yuan, but is afraid what that means for them and especially for Yuan's future. And yet he held him back. He was the one reaching out in the end! I have said enough about them and this first part of ep 11 in my post. I love them. My heart belongs to them. I wish we had more developement between these two as a couple, but I still love them and I forgive this show the rush in the end, because I love it so much.

11. Word of Honor 🇨🇳 (20/36)

Those two flirt a lot and are a married couple. Everyone knows that. And I love and enjoy that! Overall this is such a fun watch and the different sects and intrigues are sometimes a little bit confusing, but interesting. I love this world of martial arts and I love how protective Wen Kexing is over Zhou Zishu.

Finished in April

Series

My Strawberry Film 🇯🇵

This is what I call a love triangle. And the fact that the screenwriters worked for Eien No Kinou or Jack o'Frost promised some heartbreak and teenage angst. And they delivered. I really like this series. And I felt so many emotions, especially for Ryo. And I really loved the ending. No fake relationship and no unrealistic confessions, just some teenagers in love and being friends. And I think Hiraku was such a sweet friend in this last episode. He apologized and he finally recognized Ryo's feelings for him. And I believe they stay friends in the future. It might be difficult, but a good friendship is worth fighting for. It has so much to do with respect and love for each other. It is a solid 8 out of 10 for me.

Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto 🇯🇵

The story about highschool sweethearts, who didn't have the chance to enjoy their young love, because of horrible family backgrounds. Their story is devastating and I am happy they found their way back to each other. The story was good, the acting was good, I am in love with Furuya Robin, which is nice, and the side characters were special (shoutout to Yuto!). I wish there was more "passion" from Miyata, but I guess it is due to his character. Overall it was a good watch and I enjoyed it! A good 8 out of 10 for me.

Jazz For Two 🇰🇷

I love bls about music and about traumatic pasts. The second couple has my heart. I just love them coming together. Usually I hate this bully-trope, but with them, I kinda enjoyed it. Perhaps because Jooha always looked like a hurting puppy. Overall the homophobia in this one is strong and I think it is interesting to see them deal with their own feelings. Internal and external homophobia is such a big thing in all their stories and I wish they had more time to show the developement from hating themselves to loving the other person and themselves. But in my opinion they made a good story and a good show. I like it very much. And what was that kiss in the end? Wow! A good 9 out of 10 for.

To Be Continued 🇹🇭

I really like this one! I read some comments that the reason they never got together was just stupid, but from their perspective I can understand why they reacted how they reacted. They were young and unsure what to do and what all of this meant for them and their friendship. What I liked about the show was the present and past scenes. We learned so much about their past and the scenes fitted perfectly. It was a really good series and I am glad I waited to binge it. Guess I come back to this one from time to time. Rewatch value is there. And those two have really good chemistry! A good 9 out of 10 for me.

Movie

Short Film

Dropped in April

We are 🇹🇭

I dropped this after the first half of the first episode. There are a few reasons for that. First, I need some shows to binge on lonely sundays. And second, I just don't feel like watching this one. It was so quirky for me. Not my kinf od humor right now.

Looking forward to in April

Love is like a cat - Trailer (Apr 1st)

We are - Trailer (Apr 3rd)

Memory in a letter - Trailer (Apr 6th)

Grey Shelter (Apr 11th)

Kare no Iru Seikatsu - Trailer (Apr 12th)

The Spirealm (Apr 15th)

Boys be brave! (Apr 25th)

25 Ji, Akasaka de (Apr 19th)

Kimi to Yukite Saku: Shinsengumi Seishunroku (Apr 25th)

My Stand-In - Trailer (Apr 26th)

Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2024

Knock Knock, Boys - Trailer

[frodo-with-glasses]

Where have you been?

Uhhh, France?

(That’s a Hamilton reference, btw. I have never been to France.)

So! Another Hobbit Day is upon us. On this day last year, I’d promised you all that we would take another trek through LotR, with all new drawings and poems and fanfics. I fully expected to be finished with Book One by now, at least halfway through FotR. What actually happened is that the blog struggled through the first five and a half chapters of the book before suddenly going radio silent.

So what happened?

Well, as you might expect, real life happened. I won't go into the details here—since it has nothing to do with LotR—but I can explain in DMs if anyone is interested.

Basically, a change in my family led to a reexamination of what I thought I knew about my family, which led to a reexamination of what I thought I knew about myself, which kicked off an intense period of self-improvement.

Over the course of this past year, I began to unpack my family's abuse; I learned about boundaries; I started to unlearn my old people-pleasing tendencies; I reconnected relationships that were broken, reevaluated ones that were in the wrong place, and cut off ones that weren't good for me. I discovered there was a little kid in my head who's been waiting years and years for an adult to love her, and to take her needs seriously, and I finally have the chance to be that adult. And I'm happy to say that I've come to a place where I feel safer in my own head than I have ever been.

Probably very little of that is going to show through on this blog. It's all inward stuff; foundational stuff. But one thing that might affect you guys is that I left my (dreadfully overstimulating and stressful) part-time job, and I'm now working full time somewhere else. As much as I love what I do for a living now, working 40 hours a week does mean that I am become Boring Adult who does not have as much time for interneting. With my current schedule, there is no way I'd be able to sustain the intense schedule of "must post one drawing a day" that I had in the early days of this blog; and I don't expect myself to.

But! I would like to—slowly—get this train rolling again.

I find it hilariously apropos that the last piece of art I posted on this blog was of Frodo suddenly disappearing. From Merry's perspective, he completely vanished without explanation or warning. From your perspective, so did I.

But I find myself here again, on another September 22nd, and once again I'm beginning to feel that pull; that pull to read, and draw, and create, and share, and laugh with all of you. Life has calmed down enough for me that I once again have the mental space to think about pursuing my hobbies. There are so many things I want to do—so much to do with the time that is given to me. And I want this blog to be on that list.

My current goal is to post some new book art every other day. If that's too much, I'll adjust it. But if I find my groove and really get into it, who knows? We might return to your regularly scheduled Daily Dose of Frodo-With-Glasses. We shall have to see.

Anyway. If you've read this far, thank you! If you've stuck with this blog since the early days, thank you. And if you are one of that lovely core Fellowship that has had my back and prayed for me all along, I cannot thank you enough.

This past year has been an absolute ride. Not as difficult as a trek to Mordor, maybe, but not easy either. But no matter where I walked, I knew I didn't have to take the journey alone.

Anyway! Enough sappiness. Happy Hobbit Day! I'm excited to see what the next year has in store for us. 💚

[yetanotherhiddlestoner]

(MDNI 18+, smut will be eventually happening in this story line but still please respect the MDNI)

(Plus size reader x Negan. In the world of the dead rising, you just happen to fall for the one fucked up person who has no interest in you. And I am aware the timeline doesn't add up but for the story I had to make the timeline longer than a couple months.)

*Trigger Warning - There will be a few hurtful words. Negan is going to be an asshole for the first part of this so if you want the fluff and smut just skip past this chapter. Fatphobia. Eating Disorders. Fat shaming.*

CHAPTER ONE - I FELL HARD, YOU'LL FALL HARDER.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You remember the day that you were found and bought to the Sanctuary by Negan himself. You had been abandoned by your own people and left to die in the woods, Negan and his crew were on their way back home when he spotted you sitting at the base of the tree.

"Well Shit looky here" he said, and you looked up at him as he flung the bat over his shoulder. "You lost little lamb?", you were too scared to reply so you just nodded. "You alone?" again you nodded. "Do you speak?". You took a deep breathe and shallowed the ball of fear that had made it way to your throat "Yes, ummm" you didn't know this man, but holy hell was he hot. "I'm Negan, you may have heard of me?" He questions again. "No sorry I haven't." You tell him truthfully. "Well fuck me girly you have no fucking idea who I am" He looks shock as he lowers himself to your level, your eyes lock on to his. "Where did you come from; I own all the survivors in this area?" "My group never settled down, we were constantly wandering in search of supplies and would bunk down wherever we felt safe." Negan nodded understanding now how she wouldn't have known him if they were always on the move. "So where is your group now?" "They left me here, so I don't know."

"Excuse my fucking language but they fucking left one of their own out in this shithole world, what are you gonna do be walker bait? you don't seem to have any weapons on you, you're as helpless as a baby." You shrug, "I really don't know what I am going to do." He gets up quickly, but not before grabbing your hand and making you stand up to. "You are going to come to the Sanctuary with me. It is safe there, plenty of supplies and you can work for you food and other things," "Ok" is all you said as you follow Negan back. The first night there they didn't have a spare room for you so Negan let you crash in his room while he went and have fun with his wives. You had wanted to object to staying in his room, no doubt you could bunk on the floor anywhere else but he insisted that you had a goodnight sleep and that was that. For the first time in years, you slept peacefully.

You had lived with Negan as your leader for a few months now. You were thankful for the first time in your life to be a fat person, it meant Negan didn't want you as his wife, you could fly under the radar when it came to that way of living. You had been told many times by the other women there how they all had been asked to be his, but they had decided not to, they were allowed to live and work here.

He had a type as you could tell by the wives that he paraded around the compound daily and the ones he checked out when new people were bought in. His type was the tall skinny type, the ones that would go out nightly and party, who now obeyed him and gave themselves over to him whenever he wanted.

Yes, he was nicer to you than he was to most, he spoke to you with a kind voice, but he never asked you to be his, he never asked you to go hunt the dead down or even fight the ones who threaten to take over. Whenever you had interactions, he would never yell, and would often be smiling at you, of you took it as he was being a friendly leader. He disliked it when his men would interrupt your conversations. You did see his dark side, you saw what he did to people, the punishments, the torture.

After a while you started developing feelings, you tried to deny them, try to tell yourself it was pointless but it never worked, the more he spoke and showed you affection the more harder you fell and it made your heart break every time he had his body wrapped with his wives, it hurt to hear him talk about how they pleased him, how hard he was for them almost every day.

That changes in a blink of an eye.

"Hey Y/N Negan wants you in his office now" Simon says, leading the way to him.

You panic, have you done something wrong, have you not been pulling your weight? Had you missed an order he had given you?

"Come in" Negan says as soon as Simon knocks. "Sit" He orders you and Simon leaves you two alone. The room ran cold suddenly, this was not the Negan you knew. "It has been bought towards me by some of my men that maybe you should have less portions than the others considering how fat you are" Negan smirks, a laugh in voice. The words cut you like a knife. You look away from the man in front of you. "It really wouldn't hurt to lose a few now, would it?"

All you can do is nod. "Answer me dammit" he screams his hands hitting the desk. "Yes Negan" you muster up in a quiet voice. "I agree"

"Well alrighty then you can go finish your job then." he says dismissing you. You walk quickly to the bathroom, rushing past people trying to hide the tears.

"You, ok?" A female's voice says from one of the stalls.

You know her, she is one of his wives. "Yeah, I'm fine"

She puffs on a cigarette, "Let me guess you're Y/N?"

"How....did you know that?" You ask wiping your face.

"He talks openly around us, without realizing we hear and remember all, and from the tears he said some hurtful things, right? He has been boasting that shit all week. I am so sorry he said those things."

You shake your head, afraid of saying anything in case she would report it back to Negan.

"It is the truth, I am fat, I could use less food. I am not going to deny it. Less portions for me means more for others."

You leave the bathroom, feeling more shit about yourself than before.

It took about 2 months of planning before you had snuck enough weapons and food to make your get away. Sherry had helped you plan and save up for you to escape when nightfall came, she wanted to give you a chance, something that she didn't have at this point in time.

"Promise me you will never come back here" She asked as she opened the gate for you quietly.

"I promise but you deserve this so much more than I do" You whisper back to her, tears forming in both.

"I know Y/N but if I can help you and the others than maybe one day, I can be free to" she says wiping your tears away.

"You shouldn't have fallen for such a cruel man; I hope you find your happiness out there one day." Sherry gently places her hand on you cheek and smiles then closes the gate, leaving you in the woods once again. You run to the car that she had bargained just for you about 15 minutes away.

Once you started driving away you fought back the urge to cry. You were alone again, traveling to God knows where.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

12 Months later ~ Alexandria.

You had been at Alexandria for about 6 months when those trucks came rolling into your home. You had heard the stories about what he had done with Ricks gang and Rick knew that you had been one of his people before you escaped, only he knew the truth, he kept your secrets.

He made sure that each time Negan came to collect you were out scavenging. He wanted to protect you from him, with fears that maybe he would force you to return or hold some grudge over you leaving.

But on this day Negan had decided to come two days early and you looked at Rick for answers, you couldn't run and there was no point hiding as they searched the houses. Today you would be out there, you had just hoped that he didn't recognize you.

"Go over to the garden. Keep yourself blended with them; keep you hat down. He shouldn't bother you." Rick says pushing you to go.

You run over and quickly make yourself look busy, you picked up the small rack and you grabbed a spare hat and put it on, hiding your face.

You heard the tires, the brakes of the trucks squeal and a very familiar voice.

"Well Ricky boy look at you, your so close to pissing yourself aren't you."

You couldn't hear his reply. His men started to grab the goods that you spent time getting for him, a couple of them walked past you are smiling and wolf whistling at you and the others. You could hear him and Rick walking to the pantry, Olivia greeted them.

Negan laughed when Olivia was explaining that they were running out of food and staving.

"You got a fat chick guarding the food, are you sure as hell she not sneaking it at midnight.?" Rick stayed silent and Olivia started crying, you couldn't bear it.

You storm over to Olivia and Negan and slap him hard across the face. You turn to hug Olivia tightly.

"Fuck me, who the fuck do you think you are?" He says rubbing his cheek. You look at Rick from under your hat, "I'm Sorry" you whisper to him as he stares in shock.

"I asked you a question, you are to fucking answer it" he says grabbing you from Olivia pushing you to the floor, aiming Lucille at your face.

The hat still hiding your face, "You come here and take our stuff, that we worked hard on, that I don't care about but to talk shit about someone's weight is the fucking worse thing. You have no right to judge us on appearance." You say getting up, ignoring the protests from your friends and the fact that Lucille was still aimed.

"You must have some lady balls to speak to me like that. Who are you?" He uses Lucille to push the hat off and stops smirking. For the first time in 12 months, he locks eyes with you. Negan cannot believe what he is seeing.

"Y/N." he whispers. He notices that you have changed so much, you look good, not that you didn't look good before he thinks to himself.

"Are we done here?" Rick asks, everyone not sure what is about to happen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Leave us, I think I need a word with Y/N alone." Negan places Lucille on his shoulders and one by one they leave. The group questioning Rick about you.

"Have you been here the entire fucking time?" Negan was mad.

"What does it matter?" You respond, eyeing him off.

"You fucking left in the middle of the night. Why?" He growls.

"Not like you cared but so what. One less fat mouth to feed would be a good thing, right?" He can hear the venom in your voice.

Now Negan understands, "So that is why? You were hurt by what I said."

"I am not the only one who wanted to escape you that night." Negan raises and eyebrow., you ignore his question.

"Let me guess, Sherry helped you. I had a feeling when she acted all weird the next day, avoiding me and shit." Negan slams Lucille down onto a coffee table, smashing it.

You don't flinch, you just look at the table, all broken. Wondering if you could repair it.

"AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU. " Negan screams. You just breathe deeply.

"I was always thankful for what you did for me, saving me, giving me a bed and a room and a job." you say ignoring the tantrum that he was having.

"THEN WHY LEAVE OVER A STUPID COMMENT?"

"WHY?" You scream back before taking a deep breath "I was already eating less portions, if you or your men even cared to have noticed I only went to 2 dinners a week, I skipped most breakfast and lunches. I was already feeling bad for being fat, the looks I got for having the EXACT amount of food then everyone else confirmed what everyone was thinking and then you go and listen to your men and ask me to cut down more without even consulting me."

You tell him the truth; you were starving yourself anyway.

"You acted like an asshole; you could have maybe noticed that I was trying to change but you didn't." You spit back at him.

"So, you come to ole Ricky boy here and he takes you under his wing?" Negan eyes blacken as his says Rick's name.

"They saved me from a horde, I was stupid enough to try something and got overrun and stuck for a couple days on the roof of a shop. Simple as that, Negan."

"YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GOT STUCK IF YOU HAD STAYED WITH ME" Negan shouts the anger is bad once again. "I never asked you to scavenge, I kept you inside for a reason. I didn't want you to get hurt. I was always nice to you; did you not notice that?"

"And that is why your men did what they did, you showed me kindness, you showed them weakness, so when they came to you, telling you lies, and shit and you felt scared and put on the Big Bad Wolf pants and did what you did." "I have nothing more to say to you Negan. So, get the shit Rick and the rest of us have collected for you and get out." You look at him straight in the eyes, he just stares at you sternly, pointing Lucille at you. "If you were anybody else, I would have killed you." With that he turns his heels and stomps out, you hear shouting and the sound of the trucks being loaded. Once the gate closes, you break down crying. You feel Rick hugging you as you cry.

The next time you run into Negan, he a prisoner in Alexandria.

[malenjoyer]

Hi!

I know right now may not be the best time to say this, but I'm kind of still processing how fast this all happened. As someone who likes to look over artists' past work esp my fav works daily and just suddenly noticed that they're almost all gone: twitter, instagram, and tumblr. It frustrates me that not only has this situation affected you, but how it really takes one selfish and inconsiderate person to ruin everything for others. I truly hope that you can heal from this and maybe we might see those pictures again, but this is just soo much to process. Just love and support for you <33333 🥹🫶😭🫶🫶🫶🫶

Hi. I’ve privated a lot of my work on tumblr and Instagram, so they’re not gone forever. I still have a lot of positive memories with them so I didn’t want to delete them. I wanted to keep all the nice comments and support I’ve gotten over these past few years.. I might unarchive them sometime in the future when I’m more okay with it being looked at. Twitter, I had no choice but to delete it, especially ones with dick, jason, and Peter Parker. My brain freaked out a little bit from seeing evidence of the person saving my art and making fake clip files with them. Logically, I am aware deleting my old art in response is stupid.

But it wasn’t limited to just comic art, it was other interests I had too which was really uncomfortable that someone would go to the extent of pretending they like other stuff I liked. They would also paraphrase tweets I’ve made about my personal life onto their own twitter. That just isn’t okay.

Every interest I’ve ever fallen in love with meant a lot to me. This is probably not publicly known information since I’m relatively private, as a depressed autistic person, a lot of who I am is what I end up liking. My friends and relatives describe me as dressing up like a cartoon character, because everything I like is so visibly obvious. I become utterly consumed in my favorite things. Suddenly, it feels like all of my control was taken away from me. My interests collected over the years were no longer just mine, it was someone else’s because they decided to lie and it was easier to continue lying. I don’t know how much was saved. There was a screenshot of a message with over 8+ of my art works sent excluding the fake files.

I don’t have control over it. The impersonation of my identity and my life experiences.

But I do have control over who gets to see what I put out in the future. I could probably write this better but I’ve rewritten a lot of things within these two days. Rewritten posts over and over so it sounds less aggressive, less hurt, less like I am trying to call for a witch hunt and more just taking extra precautions. I don’t think I have the energy to rewrite this to seem less vulnerable/pathetic.

I want to apologize to everyone who hoped I’d keep my past art public. I know how it feels. I’ve been fans of artists who just blew up their account one day and never came back. I only privated them on tumblr and Instagram. That’s all I can do. Honestly, I’m hoping a part of my brain just forgets some of this happened since depression does come with memory loss.. This post is now too long.. but I hope it gives some insight for what’s happening on my side of the brain. I appreciate all the support so far.

If you see me acting a little weird on twitter, I’m just trying to regain a sense of control over my identity.

[woneuntonzz]

greatest comedian ≈ s.es, o.str

popularguy!eunseok x afab!reader x bestfriend!shotaro

“god must be the greatest comedian I know.”

contains: angst, fluff, comfort, cursing, pining (ig), mentions of alcohol, slightly suggestive jokes, humor (lmao)

wordcount: 10.8k

a/n: i'm back :0 (kinda) i'm gonna try and get to my asks soon pls wait for me :<

songfic inspired by:

“You’re funny!”

He’s heard it countless times. And he truly was. Truly, he was a delight to be around. He reveled in the laughter and amusement of others. Your image of him was no different from everyone else’s. You’ve always thought he was funny. But somehow he’s never made you laugh. Well, all he’s ever done is bring your self-doubts to afloat, and served a great part in creating this big barricade in your academic life that you’ve been trying to get through for over a year now. 

“You still like that guy? For real?” you breathe out a chuckle to your friend’s query, in harmony with the sounds of the keyboard’s clicks as you make yourself busy.

“Yes, Natty.” your voice was soft as you replied and as you did you felt Natty’s hand landing calmly on your shoulder. 

“Ever thought of confessing?” —I have, I do all the time— you say to yourself. “I mean, who knows, he might like you too.”

You almost guffawed, but Natty would only lay her head on your shoulder and she’d snap her head up at you when you answered, “On another universe, maybe. I don’t exist in his little theater show.”

“What a way to refer to someone’s blooming social life.” you darted your eyes at Natty’s poking, turning the both of you into a bundle of laughter. 

If only he could hear the melody that sounded from your lips. “Why’d you say it like I don’t have a social life?”  

“Miss Y/n, I did not say that at all. You’re delusional!” your friend gave you a light push, your arms crossing on top of one another on your chest. 

“I am not delusional!” you kept the kid in your tone whilst appearing offended. 

In fact, you truly weren’t. While as a youngin you’d hope every coincidence bore meanings, you grew up to face reality, though not accepting it entirely. A part of you hoped there was a small spark that went off every time you met his gaze, that he was just as withdrawn with you as you were with him because he was shy, that he only pretended to not care about you because he liked you too. But a view of him from afar —how his life was a movie in itself— told you you’d be nothing more but a mere extra in the extravagance of his daily proceedings. 

So when prom came around, while everyone else scurried around to find their dates, you just stood still —more accurately, sat and waited for anything interesting to happen in your life— and watched the pretty girls being picked out by men of all kinds like flowers on a nice green field. You just hated that by the end of prom night, this nice field of tamed green grass will turn into a rowdy, muddy mess stepped on by those men —if you could even call them that. The view wasn’t as sweet to you like how everyone else saw it, but perhaps it was because you were bitter. 

“Aren’t you excited for prom night? I heard Jacob will DJ this year, I bet it’s gonna be awesome.” you shrugged at your friend, unsure if you were even gonna go to prom. 

“I bet you’ll have loads of fun.” your friend was quick to pick up on your masked expression, much to your surprise.

“Hmm, is this about…” he looks you right in the eyes,“Bingo! code Eun—”

“Shh!” you bit your lip after shushing him, containing the laugh that threatened to escape from you. “Keep it down!”

“Oh, sorry.” a jesting evil chuckle was evoked from him making your face scrunch up. He laughs at you and motions like he’s about to pinch your face. “But, hear me out. Why don’t you ask him out?”

You sighed as an array of reasons popped up in your head. “Even if I had the courage to do that did you really think he’d say yes? To me?” your friend snorted at your tone, and again, looks you right in the eyes. 

“Why not?” you raised your brows as a way of asking him if he was being serious, “Look, just being for real here, you’re pretty enough to overthrow those ‘popular girls’, your cute, your talented, your actually interesting —I mean what’s there not to like?”

You gave yourself a second to think and your eyes followed the lines separating each tile on the floor, and from the distance you saw him. You were in the cafeteria, and for some reason not with Natty. Some guy named Eric had asked her to meet him in some classroom, you’ve heard from some of his friends that he was asking Natty out to prom and planned a surprise. Meanwhile your dream date was sat five tables away from where you were. Laughter filled the table he and his friends occupied. He must be so funny then.

“Y/n?” Your friend’s voice was all it took for you to avert your eyes from Eunseok. “It’s kinda rude to just stare at your crush and daydream mid conversation, just so you know.”

You can’t help but laugh, at your friend’s jovial banter and at yourself for being so pathetic. “Sorry, Sho.”

“I was kidding, it’s totally fine Miss scared-of-confrontations.” you playfully rolled your eyes at him. 

“I’m not scared of confrontations.” but his words took you a step back and you thought maybe you truly were scared of confrontations. 

“Yeah? prove it! prove it! prove it!” and he kept repeating it like a kid and you had to shush him again. “Ask him out!”

“Shotaro, I've never wanted to punch someone this bad in my life before, just stop.” and he just laughs at you again. You look to your side, and coincidentally right into his eyes. It would’ve been the highlight for your day, the best day of your week —your life even— if not for the flowers he held in his hand. And no, they weren’t for you. You thought they could never be for you. He held them in his hands whilst he wore that grin that drew everybody in his presence. You looked away, not wanting to see the events waiting to unfold before you. 

“Let’s go, Sho.” you took hold of Shotaro’s wrist, dragging him out of the cafeteria with you. Once you were out of the bustling atmosphere, you started sprinting, still not letting go of your friend.

“Where are we going?” and then suddenly you stopped. 

You could see Natty holding hands with Eric from the other end of the hallway, and some of Eric’s friends tagging along from behind. 

“Oh, so that’s where Natty’s been. No wonder.” you hear Shotaro utter quietly from behind you. 

“Yeah. No wonder.” your lips spread to a small smile, seeing how happy Natty actually is. You just hope Eric isn’t just another guy.

“Hey, Y/n, why’d you pull me out of the cafeteria? I was trying to skin the fried tofu with my tee—”

“Sorry, I just didn’t want to see it —them, I mean.” your friend just stared at you, confused, and it showed on his face. A soft, but bitter laugh came out of your mouth. You figured Shotaro might’ve not seen what you saw, or maybe he didn’t care. “‘You-know-who’ was gonna ask some lucky girl to prom.”

“Really? Lucky?” he promptly shakes his head, and now you’re confused. “I don’t even know why I asked —anyways, I saw Mr.’Funny-Guy’ holding a bouquet. You know, for a second I thought you became Flash and just gave him those and asked him out to prom at ten times speed.” you laugh, and in all honesty just wanting to look past everything you saw, and everything that might’ve or did happen after the two of you ran off.

“Yeah. Very lucky.” Shotaro shook his head again, keeping his eyes on the smile that he could recognize from all the times you have found yourself on a disappointing stand. 

“I’m sorry to say this, but, Eunseok isn’t all that. You can have fun without him. You have Natty —or maybe not her because she’s probably gonna spend time with that guy— me! you have me! and Minji, though I’ve heard someone had asked her out, that's probably why she’s not around right now…”

With pursed lips and crossed arms, you searched for the sense in his words, and when you had found it he was already looking back at you. Tilting your head to the side, you hum, a nod following shortly after. Shotaro was once again confused. 

“Shotaro, how do you feel about going to prom with me?” you almost guffawed when he shrugged.

“Well, my plan was to just stick by you the whole night so we could have fun, so, technically…” he was suddenly stuck. “We’re best friends and all…”

“Yeah, but like, I’m actually asking you to be my date. Since we’re best friends and all.” you mimicked the tone that displaced his playful one when he spoke earlier. He scrunches his nose at you as some sort of counter-attack. 

“Okay. That’s great.” he mirrors your pose and crosses his arms as well, and you both tilt your head at the same time —and it was soon followed by laughter.

Osaki Shotaro is probably the third funniest person I know, or, should he be second? —you jot down on your notes app. You now lay on your bed, just a few nights away from prom. Your notes app became a little get away for you as it was easier to type than to write things down. You swear that the world will burn once someone has seen the things you’ve very diligently typed in the app. It was your safe space, locked away from everyone. Even from Natty. Even from Shotaro. I wonder what I should wear. I wonder what he’s gonna wear, what his date would wear. She for sure said yes. Who wouldn’t? I would, a hundred percent. I’m gonna have to make sure we don’t wear the same dress, not even the same color. What’s a rare color? —your thoughts were a river with no end. It just flowed, especially when you lay alone in your room paying mind to nothing with being in such a secluded and quiet place. You were there, the cold air against your exposed skin, but you would feel nothing of it. You were deep within the depths of your perception. You itched to know. Who was the girl? —and if you were being honest, you missed any signs of him being infatuated with someone else. Who am I kidding? It couldn’t be me.

For the days that followed, you kept your mind on what to wear. Of course, not without crossing paths with Song Eunseok. He seemed his usual self —if not happier. You refuse to see it that way, to accept that whoever she might be, she’s making him twice the smiley guy he is. You’d reunite with Natty and Minji eventually. They asked if you were attending prom night because they’ve heard of the news. It had seemed as if everyone saw it coming. Maybe they are a match. Maybe they just look that good together. Maybe they’re made for each other. 

“Maybe he just asked out a friend, you know, for a friendly date of sorts. Like you and Taro!” as sweet as Natty could be, you just truly wanted to avoid conversations regarding you-know-who. You’d just smile, not sparing her a look.

It was your way of telling people to stop talking about something that upset you, and Shotaro noticed right away even though you were late to catch up on your sides pressed against each other when he scoots closer. “Natty’s right.” he was regretful of that reply, so he’d quickly avert from the topic of you-know-who. “By the way Y/n, what are you gonna wear? the color and stuff, we can match.” your head snaps up, being reminded you should’ve been getting ideas for your outfit instead of being dazed over a boy that has never even bothered to acknowledge your presence. 

“I don’t know yet. I don’t have ideas right now. Do you?” you finally look over to Shotaro, and for a second you’d jolt seeing the tip of your nose and his only a little over an inch from touching. 

He backed away almost instantly with a swift reply of, “I don’t have any either. I mean, it’d be fine by me to take charge if we didn’t have to follow an attire.”

Smack. Timely, you both gasped hearing such a loud sound coming from one of your friend —Minji, who was looking a little more enthusiastic than usual. “I have an idea. Let’s all shop together. Natty and I can work on both of you.”

Natty’s beam infected you when you looked over at her because you knew they got your backs. And that was one thing off your checklist of worries. Only a few hundred more to tick. 

“My mom said she wanted to help you get ready for prom night.” —and with a few flips of a textbook you were already off and walking back home with Shotaro, like usual.

“Really? I mean, I suppose it’d be easier if I was there, then you wouldn’t have to pick me up.” you reply with a slight pout, giving his offer —or rather his mother’s— serious consideration.

“I mean, it could be that or you join us for dinner tonight. I kind of figured Auntie would prefer it if she was the one who helped you, you’re her daughter after all, aren’t you?” your hand came to catch the laughter from your lips as he spoke. A laugh, and a sneeze, to which Shotaro responds with, “Ew.”

“Don’t ‘ew’ me!” his giggles slid through your ears, filling it up with his sweet melody. “Ew.” and of course you had to bite back. 

“What? 'ew' what?” and he kept giggling.

You could only chuckle to yourself, biting down on your bottom lip. “Nothing” you breathe out. 

It couldn’t be just nothing. Or at least he hoped. And so like every rational and mature man, he snatched the hairpin that held your poorly cut bangs from your face and ran. He was lucky it sled off easily. You chased him whilst calling out for his name, threatening him with actions you would never do. You could never. All while he giggled to himself like a little boy. 

♪ ♪ ♪

[A week ago…]

Everyone tends to only consider what’s on the surface of the water, unknowing of the storm that lies underneath the seas.

“What about Shotaro?” “Forget him.”

No apparent aggression, but betrayal could be sensed with the constant fall of his intonation as he continued to speak, “He chose her over us.” and his breath falls along with his hands that got done with smoothing out the wrinkles on his uniform.

“I mean, you would too. Isn’t that why you two got into a fight?” he shrugged at his friend.

And then laughed.

“What’s so funny?” The friend had furrowed eyebrows as he inspected the demeanor of the man before him.

“He’s talking to her everyday now. Me on the other hand?” he looks to his left, the body-length mirror of his room. “I’m so close, yet so far. I don’t even think I amuse her.”

“Why not? you’re Song Eunseok, the funny —and insanely hot guy, come on now.” 

“Yeah. That’s the problem. Funny, insanely… hot?” 

The two laughed in chorus. 

“What’s the point of being so admired by so many people if the one I’ve been admiring doesn’t even give a flying fuck?” Eunseok shook his head as he spoke, facing his mirror and checking his reflection. “If anything she probably hates —no, not hate, but she doesn’t like me. For sure.” he straightens the collar of his shirt. 

“The popular guy stigma.” he laughs at his friend’s sigh, and he replies,

“It’s true for some people. I could see why she might think I’m like them.” he smiled but his movements would be a complete contrast to it as he kept fixing nothing and dusting off nothing on his uniform. “Say we weren’t friends, and you’re a transferee, how would you see me?” he turns around to face his friend who was flummoxed with his sudden question. 

“Well, I’m an extrovert myself, so I’d probably ask you to hang out first and foremost. You’re fine as hell, you’re quite the character.” Eunseok’s eyes traveled to the ground after hearing his friend’s response. He couldn’t quite tell if it was genuine or was just a guise to amuse him. This friend was not like the ones he once had in his life. Not like Shotaro. Not like you. 

“Character?” Eunseok chuckled to himself. “I wonder if this… character was why we grew apart.” 

“You and Shotaro?”

“Yes, and no.” Eunseok’s heavy sigh almost startled the other boy. “I’m talking about the girl.” a silent ‘oh’ was exuded from the boy’s mouth as he watched the other who moved to take a seat next to him. “I don’t get how moving schools cut our ties. Shotaro and I were still friends after I moved. I mean, we were neighbors. But still. Did she really not care about me?” 

“Probably. Girls do that, don’t they?” Eunseok laughed again, with knitted brows this time.

“No. We’ll never know.” he says, running his tongue over his top lip before he continued, “We’re a bunch of dicks. How would we know?”

And they guffawed. 

“Just ask her out to prom. Before Shotaro does.” Eunseok nods at his friend. “I bet you fifty bucks you can get her to say yes empty handed.”

“Dude, it’s not in me to not give her anything.” 

[Present Day]

If I can make you laugh, you’re going to prom with me.

It would’ve been raining diamonds if he was able to carry out his plan. He would make her laugh then she’s all his for prom night, and hopefully for the days that follow. 

But now he stood —oddly quiet— with his friends in a corner shop near school buying whatever shit they had to buy. “Hey nice guy! What's up? Is your mouth glued shut? stapled?” 

One of his friends had laid their arm over his shoulders, tightening his hold when Eunseok didn’t answer immediately. “I’m fine. I think the store ran out of condoms.” the other snorts at his answer, a poor attempt at a joke.

“Do virgins eat condoms?” a loud ‘tsk’ would follow after, “If you’re getting fucked it’s by something up there in your cranium. Tell me.”

Eunseok sighed as he mustered up the guts to tell. “I didn’t get the girl.”  

Surprised, and quite perplexed, his friend removed his arm from him to look him in the eyes saying, “What do you mean? I thought Gaeul said yes?”

“It was never Gaeul.”

“Then who?”

“You.” Eunseok grabs his friend's face, pretending to pull him in for a kiss. His friend —like every straight man— would counteract his actions. 

“Ew dude, I’m not fucking gay, for the last time!”

“It’s always been you.”

Eunseok would let go of his friend hearing another one of their friends approaching as she laughed. “Hi nice guy!”

“And hi to you too, Miss Korea.” the girl giggles at Eunseok’s reply. 

“Is it true? You and Heeseung have been sleeping together?” Eunseok smirked, hearing the girl’s jesting.

“What?” Before Heeseung could speak again, Eunseok butts in with a quip. 

“Oh, yes! But he hides it, he must be ashamed of me —ashamed of loving me!” dramatic, and exaggerated, still it was one for the titters.

“I hate you, Yuna. Have a nice fucking day.” and Heeseung walks out whilst the two continue laughing amongst themselves. 

The cackles died down once the two were left alone as their friends continued to roam the shop.

“Hey, not to be nosy or anything, but did you seriously not mean to ask Gaeul? sorry I just heard —I promise I wasn’t actively listening in.” Yuna even waved her hands in front of her face to dismiss any misinterpretations. 

And with a small smile, Eunseok breathes in to reply to her. “It’s okay. We weren’t exactly being discreet about it at all.” his eyes shifted along the shelves that sandwiched the two of them. “But yeah. I asked Gaeul because, I don’t know, why not?” 

Yuna nods at a broken pace for a couple of seconds as she tries to understand, getting caught up in some holes as she went through what he told her one more time before asking, “So, then, who were you meant to ask?”

“Doesn’t matter. She’s got a date already anyways. I got a date, she got a date, you got a date, everyone gets a date. It’s gonna be fun.” he displays a wide smile, but it was almost robotic in a way that made Yuna huff trying to get over how ridiculous he looked at the moment. “Do you mind me asking about your date Miss Korea?” 

“Well, I was hoping this guy would ask me. But I don’t think he had me in mind at all. But yeah, I’m going with Sungchan, you're going with Gaeul, we all have dates. Let’s be happy.” Eunseok chuckled at the way her voice imitated his in some way. 

“Yeah. Let’s be happy.”

♪ ♪ ♪

It’s been an hour or two of Natty and Minji flitting around the boutique to find you and Shotaro some nice outfits for prom night. The theme? “Retro romance.”

“It’s fun but I feel like there could be better themes. There’d be dozens of polkadot skirts, I can already see it.” Natty mumbles in between picking out a few dresses for you to try on. She holds out a shirt dress, yellow with hints of white in a gingham pattern. “This is pretty retro, right? we could pair it with a belt and a skimmer hat with a purple ribbon.” Natty scans the piece of clothing, moving closer to you and holding it out next to your figure. 

Your head snaps instantly when you hear an utterance next to you, “It looks cute.” Shotaro was a bit taken aback with how all three of you stopped just to look at him just because of his short little comment.

Minji approached, coming from a section of the boutique just a little farther from where the three of you were. She came walking with a few items at hand. It was a plain long sleeve shirt, white, a plaid suit vest —in the same color as the dress Natty held—, and some flared trousers in a darker shade of yellow, just a little muted. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, you guys need to get into the fitting rooms right now!” you giggled at the way Natty gushed and rushed to get you and Shotaro on your feet. 

Her giggles were all it took for you and Shotaro to speed to the fitting rooms. Once the dress went over your head and the skirt settled against your bare legs, your hands traced the shape of your waist seeing how perfectly the dress fits and hugs your body. You loved how the color complemented your skin. Like a perfect painting, freshly polished. You walked out of the fitting room, eyes glued to the flow of the skirt. Once your feet have crossed the line that separated the fitting room from the rest of the boutique, your eyes land on the floor. Your lone feet were now joined by another pair dressed in white Nike air force 1s.

Looking up to your right, smiling eyes greet your own. “Sho, you look dapper!” your exclaim lifted the corners of his mouth to their highest point. 

“Wait till I get my hair done.” he says with his chest up and then playfully biting his lower lip. 

You laugh at his face, slightly shoving him from where he stood with a light push. He —very gently— bumps his shoulder onto yours, causing you to tilt a tad. With a little chortle, you tell him, “You don’t really need to get it done. It looks good the way it is.” as you ruffle his hair.

He lets out a giggle, so soft and gleeful. “Whatever you say, pretty.”

Walking back to your friends, from a distance, their eyes welcomed the two of you. Their compliments almost fell from the end of their tongues. A gasp leaped over Natty’s words, her hand rushing to catch her breath. “You look cute together!” and you almost gagged from all the cooing. As opposed to you, Shotaro just smiled, his eyes were smiling too. Smiling at you. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary —you’d convince yourself. But your cognition went offbeat when you met his eyes, and yours would hastily look around for something, anything to subside the feeling that was simmering from within you. 

You were thankful that Minji made her comment before anyone noticed. “You look like twin bananas.” your face would scrunch up, and she’d slightly repel, speaking again, “I was trying to say the colors looked cute!” you hear Shotaro’s giggle again. Instinctively, you peered at him. Your best friend.

He used to be your best friend too. 

“Y/n?” 

You shook your head, your lips forming the best smile you could pull out of your blues. You raised your brows at your best friend who had called you out of your thoughts. “I like these outfits. Let’s get them, yeah?”

“Yeah. I like them too.” he nods along with his words. “Told you you’d look great in anything!” he gently nudges at you when he spews the acclaim.

Just days before he assured you that finding a decent outfit would be no problem, emphasizing that “you already look good with just our school uniform on.” —you’d dispense a hearty cackle, though, you knew he must’ve been sincere with it all, you only intended to humor the situation. All for the sake of not having to foster thoughts about everything he’s said to and done for you for the past two weeks after the ‘you-know-who incident’. 

All the while ‘you-know-who’ feigned folly. It was the only way he could ever allow himself to overlook the facts that unfolded from across the street in front of him. The fact that her happiness radiated in high magnitudes. The fact that she laughed with someone else, wore stupid banana-colored matching outfits with someone else —that she laughed with that guy as if he was the greatest comedian she knew. It was the fact that she was happier without him, and that he could never make her laugh like whilst she held on her tummy as her face formed creases of joy. She was only on her way out when he saw her. It’s the happiest he’s ever seen her. No matter how much he loathed the cause of your glee, seeing her smile, grin and giggle made him float to the skies. He daydreamed about what it could sound like, her laughter. Must be delightful with how tightly the other guy had clutched onto her hand. Eunseok looked away before he could fall any deeper. He crossed the road, and her too. He caught a whiff of her almond saffron perfume, and he fished for her gaze only to be met with the eyes he despised the most. “Osaki Shotaro pisses me off.”

Eunseok was now in a cafe to meet up with Gaeul for the first time ever since asking her out to prom —impulsively. She was yet to arrive, so he got on the phone with his dear friend Yeonjun. “We know, we know. But if you’re that competitive why don’t you make moves huh?” Eunseok breathes out a scoff after hearing Yeonjun’s taunting.

“If you knew me at all, you know i’m all but competitive.” Eunseok kept his gaze on the bell above the door, any moment from then it could sound Gaeul’s arrival, not that it was enough for him to pay mind to. 

“Yeah, you’re all that, aren’t you?” Yeonjun tittered from the other line. He calmed himself down at an instant when he realized that Eunseok was shut quiet. “You know, Sungchan told me something about his sister, Y/n.” Eunseok had parted his lips, but was unable to utter his next words —those which he had trouble finding— so Yeonjun spoke again, “He said she liked one of her best friends back then. It could be you or Shotaro, but what if it’s been you all along?”

Foot tapping at a pained tempo, Eunseok almost choked holding back a guffaw. “Me? Was I the one she’s been hanging out with? was I the one by her side when her dog died? or when she received such a shitty exchange gift when she had spent loads of time and money for her gift?” Eunseok swore he could see Yeonjun with pursed lips. 

The bell sounded just as Yeonjun replied, “It’s not entirely impossible—” *phone beeps* Eunseok ends the phone when Gaeul greets him with heart eyes. Like every girl would. 

It didn’t make sense to Eunseok. Every other girl liked him, stared at him for too long sometimes. You were —in his world— every girl. You were the girl that laughed at him when he skinned his knee while he raced against the wind with his bicycle. You were the girl that gave him your frosted animal crackers when he left his lunch box at home. You were the girl that hid her face when she cried after he had told her that he was moving away with his family. You were the girl that pretended not to recognize him at the themepark when he came around to visit again. You were the girl who continued to shun him everyday now that you were in the same highschool. You were all that —and more— to him. You were every girl in his life, in his story, in the little sit-com he lived in.

“So, what do you plan on taking for college?” he stared at the girl who queried him, though it was not clear to her —nor to himself what exactly he was staring for, or at rather. 

Eunseok clears his throat, digging around in his mind for the answer, “I plan to take a b-a —uh, public relations.” he chuckled seeing how she fought the grimace from spreading throughout her face. “Sorry if i’m not the computer science or architecture typa guy.”

Gaeul quickly wards off any misunderstandings by hastily shaking her head as she utters, “Sorry, I just haven’t heard that from anyone before. In fact, I'm quite unfamiliar with it.” he leisurely nods, his teeth subtly digging into his bottom lip at the last rise of his head. “Would you mind explaining it to me? your career path and all.”

He raised his brows, a low chuckle, barely audible, was trapped behind his pressed lips. “No, not at all.” maybe, just maybe, he could get his head out of the past, the memories of you. You. Maybe after he’s gotten to know this girl that actually acknowledged his presence and seemed to be genuinely curious to seek for what’s beyond his social persona. The talk was definitely long enough for their lava-hot coffee cups to run cold. And surprisingly for him, there was more gained than said.

♪ ♪ ♪ 

Prom night came around, but before it did you made sure to avoid crossing paths with him, or taking turns at the wrong corners and run into him and Gaeul —again. You were never able to be verbal with how grateful you were that Shotaro had been sticking to you ever since you’ve gone to the boutique. His puns and your exchanged banters drew your attention away from Eunseok. 

At prom night, Shotaro picked you up with his dad’s car. You scrambled around looking for your purse when you saw him from outside your living room window. He leaned his back against the driver’s seat door, waiting and anxiously fiddling with his fingers. You released a deep exhale once you were faced with your front door. Shotaro stared at the door mat, and when he saw that bright yellow skirt flowing with the cold wind of the night, he gazed up. His eyes lit up as if they had sparklers in them. He had seen you in this dress before —at the boutique, but somehow the atmosphere and the anticipation of taking your hand in his and dancing with you on the dance floor all night made him feel like it was his first time ever trying to catch your eyes behind that beige skimmer hat you wore. 

With only a few five steps distancing the two of you, you greet him. “Hi.”

“Hello.” after a minute of —unnecessary— loud silence, you both burst out laughing. “I’m Shotaro, and this pretty girl’s name would be?...”

Your hands settled on your waist, tilting your head —and finally locking your eyes with his. Your lips would curve into a small smile, giving into his little roleplay. “The name's Y/n.” you hold your hand out for a handshake, and you receive it in no time.

“Well, good eve Miss Y/n. It’s my first time seeing you around here, perhaps you’re from out of town?” you suppress your giggle, lips pursed as you composed yourself.

“I could say the same about you.” he chuckles at you, eyes all smiley, like always.

“It doesn’t have to matter pretty, would you dance with me tonight?” he asks with raised brows, and a voice silk like whiskey. 

Though his voice caused a short stagnation with your breathing, you cleared your throat, hoping that would ease the one-sided tension. Then suddenly, you gasped, “And for you to expect me to go out with a stranger? how bold!” and very dramatically too.

His eyes dilated, again, laughing against his lips. He gradually pulled his occupied hands from behind his back at the same pace at which he spoke. “Maybe, a little gift would change your mind?” and by then, a bouquet of chocolates —your favorite kind— was being waved, just slightly, right in front of you. 

“What? I thought you were saving up? those are expensive!” a hefty load of air went through your nose, taking in the sweet scents of cocoa and sugar.

“Not really expensive, just pricey—”

“Same thing!” Shotaro’s chest was struck by your gentle hand, and he’d hold it there. Your palm was pressed against his heartbeat. You kept your eyes on your hand as you felt for the thumps on his chest. It was paced and certainly not calm. “Sho… you okay?”

With your gaze up at him and a flick of your lashes, his hand found its way on top of yours. And for a while, he’d clasp onto your hand, his grip growing tighter with every count of a second. He gently guides your hand off his chest, lowering it on level with your waist. “I’m taking that as a yes, pretty.” he utters softly as he guides you to the passenger seat of the car. 

Once you were seated, you stared straight ahead, not minding Shotaro who went around again to get into the driver’s seat. You anxiously fiddled with the fabric of your skirt, and once you heard the driver’s seat door close, you patted down the cloth and smoothened it with your hands. 

“Are you okay Y/n?” the boy beside you asks, and you —obviously— had thoughts running in your head by the looks of your eyes alone. 

“Yeah, it’s just…” you were quite embarrassed to admit, “I don’t get why I’m like this either, but…” but it’s nothing Shotaro hadn’t heard from you, right? “I don’t know if I’ll enjoy it if I saw him there with another girl. I’m sorry, Sho.”

You watched as Shotaro’s hands took grasp of the wheel, his thumb grazing against the leather ever so slightly. “Prom is not about Song Eunseok. We can very much enjoy it without seeing him at all. How about we just pretend he doesn’t exist for the night? how’s that sound?” He was calm, and so sweet sounding. He held out his hand with his palm facing the sky, offering to ease your worries. 

You took this offer, just for the sake of feeling better and getting your mind off of who wasn’t there for you, and who hasn’t been for eight years. “Thank you, Sho.”

Now his thumb grazed over the skin of your hand. “Anytime. You know I love you, right?” 

“I know, you’ve been telling me that since we were kids.” you giggled at each other, before the engine started and you were both off to prom night.

♪ ♪ ♪

For most of the night, you stuck by Shotaro —as promised— and you two danced, even though you were quite the dancer yourself, he urged you to join him. It was fun, even more so for him. He was so kind to you tonight, so gentle. Well, he’s Shotaro, and he’s made you smile, giggle, titter with his little jokes, his compliments, his smile. 

“Thank you for tonight.” you were sitting at an empty table. You had laid your head on your date’s shoulder as your eyes wandered around the scattered bunch of attendees dancing the night away.

Prom king and queen were to be announced after the current song, you heard from one of the other attendees. “Thanks to you too. I had loads of fun.” the back of his hand gently bumps against yours. You caught the signal, placing your hand on top of his palm. He closes in on your hand, and opens it again, then closes, and opens again, “Look, it’s an alligator.” he giggles right into your ear, continuing the closing and opening motion as he brings your entwined hands to your face. 

“Sho!” you breathe out as a laugh follows shortly. “Hate to break it to you, but that’s not what an alligator looks like.”

“Oh, okay then.” he removed his hand from underneath yours, and soon your palms touched each other. You very carefully lift your head from his shoulder, and your eyes land on his face, observing the way his nose scrunched up when he started playing with your hands. “How about this?” he lifts your hands to your face again, showing the little alligator he had created with your joint hands. 

And then your eyes meet. Your smile was so soft, as well as your eyes. He thought he was going to melt into a puddle. He just hoped nothing would ruin this serene view. You’re so delicate and beautiful. The night went exactly like how he planned —for the most part. You two were all smiles and laughs when your sides were pressed against each other or when your hands were connected. But one instance of you separating to get drinks for both you and him, he wasn’t expecting you to come back with tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. It was his instinct to always be there for you, and so he rushed to take you in his arms. It hurt him that you weakly tried to fight off his embrace, but then you broke into a sob and meekly laid your weight onto him. His hand encloses yours as he takes you back to the car. He thought about driving you home, so you can rest and feel better. But he took a turn away from where you lived.

“Where are we going, Sho?” your dainty voice pricked his heart.

“Just, somewhere.” 

He didn't let go of your hand till he took you home, but until then, you both sat by the riverside with juice boxes and convenience store sandwiches. 

“What’s wrong with me? he doesn’t even care about me, or you —at least not anymore.” you munched on the cold sandwich salted with your own tears as you spoke. 

“Well, at least he doesn’t hate us, right? and look, I’m pretty sure if you asked him for help, or a favor or something, he won’t refuse.” Shotaro had his eyes on you only, even if he had asked you to take a breather and watch the river flow. He sighs softly, seeing your gloomy eyes blinked continuously to fight off the tears. “Friends grow apart, it really isn’t his fault he found friends he enjoyed being around with more than—”

“More than us. Yeah, I get it.” a bitter laugh escaped your lips, and you gulped as a single tear trickled down to the side of your face. 

Shotaro was quick to not let it run down to your neck, wiping it off with a gentle touch to your face. You took a hold of his wrist, calmy removing his hand from your face and moving it to let it settle on his lap, but before you could let go of him, he brought your hand back in his with one swift motion. Your eyes grew wider than before, blinking a few more times as you held eye contact. 

“Can I ask for a favor?” you blinked one more time at his question. 

“Yes Sho.”

“I know you like Eunseok —still, and I know you don’t have it in you to just forget him, especially when we used to be the best of friends.” 

You took a stuttered breath, eyeing Shotaro’s fingers as he drew shapes on your hand. 

“But please, forget him.” and another stuttered breath. “It doesn’t have to be now —what I’m trying to say is, if he managed to stop looking out for you, I won’t. No matter what happens.” your eyes soften, keeping it locked with his. “Even if you say no to my favor.”

You raised your brows, visibly confused. “Isn’t the favor to forget about him?”

You felt his grip on your hand tighten, and you could see the movement in his throat as he gulped. 

“Y/n, can I court you?”

♪ ♪ ♪

[Earlier that night…]

“And now, for prom king…”

It was undoubtedly,

“Song Eunseok!”

Great. Just great. Eunseok badly wanted to just drown in the crowds of people, but instead he allowed himself to be pushed onstage by his friends. And there he stood, next to the prom queen —thankfully, it was Yuna, and not just some other girl. The girl seemed to be ecstatic, giving Eunseok a high-five. Still, after being crowned and a brief photoshoot session, he hurried back to his date who wore rosey cheeks and a shy smile. 

“Hi prom king.” She greets him as he gets closer.

Once he was right in front of her, she wrapped her arms around her neck. He wasn’t surprised, not until she got on her tiptoes to place her lips on his. Just for a short while. 

“I like you, Eunseok.” he blinked once, biting onto his bottom lip.

He couldn’t quite figure out what it was, but suddenly his head was brought up —just above Gaeul’s head— where from a distance, he spotted you. Looking so sweet, so flawless in that yellow shirt dress. He loved how you just walked around with that smile he’d always daydream about. In those five seconds of him marveling in the sight of you, he never realized you were looking right at him, then at the shorter girl in front of him. And with a blink of an eye, you were gone. 

“Eunseok?” he cleared his throat, finally looking back at Gaeul. 

He ponders for a while, and he looks up again. Then he meets another pair of eyes. It belonged to the arms that held you that night as you sobbed. 

“I like you too.”

It was all too late, wasn’t it? There was no way Shotaro hadn’t already planned to ask you out after tonight. Right?

[Two weeks later…]

“How’s it with Gaeul?” Eunseok shook his head at his friend’s query, almost laughing at the tone of his question. 

“We’re fine, Chenle.” he replies with a slight sigh, which only drove his friend to question him more. 

“Yeah, yeah. But, are you really over… you know.” Chenle brought his eyes to the side.

Eunseok knew better than to look at where his friend’s eyes laid on, instead he’d just answer him, “I’m not. But it wouldn’t hurt to try. Besides, doesn’t she look happier?” 

“She does.” he almost broke into a pit of laughter with how fast Chenle responded to his words. 

“She really does.” Eunseok would repeat to himself, only very subtly looking over at your direction.

So close, yet so far. And now, completely out of reach. He watched from the other end of the hallway as you unload your locker, and right next to you was Shotaro who held everything you took out of it, filling his hands. After closing your locker, you’d take half of what he held. Then you laughed. To this day Eunseok was still curious. Did your laugh sound any different after eight years?

“Bro, don’t you think you’ve been looking for too long?” 

Eunseok finally parts his eyes from your sight, looking back at his friend with the smile he always wore around school, the one that no one could ever really tell whether it’s superficial or genuine.  

“What do you mean? It’s only been eight minutes.”

And eight years. 

♪ ♪ ♪

Highschool went by like a fly, so irritating that it lingered for a while. But you were happy that even though you’ve taken a dozen bites, you were still able to be the luckiest of the lucky. Especially with him by your side. Maybe it was too early to speak on things, but you are in your second year of college now, and he’s never stopped looking out for you. So you did the same for him. 

“Hey Sho?” you spoke into your phone after the ringing stopped. 

“Hi Y/n! sorry I can’t join you for lunch, but for dinner we’ll definitely—” he was cut off by your soft chuckle, finding himself freezing up for a second.

“I know Sho, you told me last night. So that’s why—” you took the steps up to his department’s building, stopping by the glass doors. “I’m here to drop off your lunch.”

“Lunch? Wait, I’m running down right now!”

“Entrance two.”

“Entrance two, got it —what did you get?”

“I cooked!”

“You cooked? holy shit, okay.”

You purse your lips as you suppress your laughter, and within under a minute, you see him running from the inside towards the transparent doors. He rushed out of the doors, greeting you with a hug. You were both giggling against each other. 

“Sho!” you almost dropped the lunch bag when he spun you once. 

His eyes smiled at you —like always— once he’s let go of you. You wore a wide smile, biting your lip as you extended your arm to give him the lunch bag. “This is way better than take out.”

You chortle and shake your head. “How would you know? you haven’t even tasted it yet!”

“I’ve tasted your ramen!”

“Instant ramen doesn’t count!” 

You wished you could just bask in each other’s little banters and laughs, but eventually he had to go back to finish what he was working on. 

“Natty will join us for dinner, she and Eric had another fight.” you tell him as you fixed his collar a bit. 

“Again? What's going on with Eric?” you shrugged at him, finally smoothing out his shirt. 

“Nobody knows.”

You understood why people fought, that sometimes, even the smallest things on the surface could indeed be plunged deeper than the depths of the oceans. Now all you could hope is for the couple to reconcile. You knew them both well enough by now to tell that both of them mean well at the end of the day and in some way are just trying to protect each other. 

That’s why at dinner, you were all eyes and ears for Natty as she went on with the details of how everything went down, and you held her hand seeing that it was difficult for her to let it all out. By the end of the day, she’d thank you and Shotaro, and the two of you would be left in the confines of your apartment complex. The talk lasted for longer than what you’d expect —not that you mind— and when you looked out the window, the sky was black and blank. The street lamps were all lit, coloring the streets amidst the darkness. You breathe in once, turning around, only to be met with Shotaro who was getting ready to go home. From what you can recall, he wasn’t gonna be busy for a while. 

“Sho?” his head snaps up from his shoelaces that he was only getting started to tie back up. He hummed you a reply, smiling so dearly and letting his eyebrows rise a tad. “Can I ask you a favor?”

He was a bit taken aback at your question, but he could never say no. “Yeah, of course! "What is it, pretty?”

That feeling you felt back at that old boutique was coming back to you, and in its fullest form. No longer something you would ward off and ignore, but something you wanted to accept and embrace. You thought maybe you were somewhat a bit standoffish, not being able to see through your best friend’s compliments and cute little nicknames —not to mention everything he’s done for you. You thought it was kind of funny. Then, it only took you eight seconds to spot Eunseok within a crowd, but it took you eight years to realize that your bestest friend of all saw you more than a best friend. Funny how you’ve kept Eunseok name at the top of your ‘funniest people I know’ list when no one had ever made you laugh as much as Shotaro did. You made a mental note to yourself to edit that later on, but for now,

“Stay for tonight. It’s quite late.” you glanced over to your wall clock. “A quarter till twelve.”

His eyes shifted around for a while, like he was looking for his answer around the space of your home. “If it’s fine with you, I would —but really, I can go home just fine. I can call you while I walk home.”

You chuckled, taking in his wide open eyes and slightly parted lips. You subtly chew on your bottom lip for a second before telling him, “I want you to stay, Sho.” 

He was a frozen stick of butter by the time those words left your mouth. And he’d let himself melt when you came close to remove his scarf off of him. He removes his shoes, then his coat. And for a while you both stood in front of your door, just staring at each other before laughing at each other's faces —with no particular reason. He takes both of your hands, keeping them warm with his own. 

“Now, about the favor…” your eyes shy away from him as he tilts his head.

He fishes for your eyes, asking, “Wasn’t this the favor?” a soft giggle escapes his mouth just as he finishes speaking. 

You can’t help but giggle too. This time you look him right in the eyes. “Sho, we’ve been best friends for fourteen years.” he gulped at your words, feeling a little nervous with the way you spoke. “And you’ve been courting me for two years.”

“And a half.” he sheepishly adds. 

You breathe out a laugh, “And a half.” you mumble as you intertwine your fingers with his. “I think we should stop being best friends.”

You can’t help but laugh at the way his face contorts at what you said. “Wait, what?” “Wait, what I’m trying to say is…” you both utter at the same time, still being mindful of your volume —you had neighbors after all. 

“Can I be your girlfriend already?” 

You were smothered with a hug, tiny pecks and his sweet giggles. The next thing you know, you were laying on your bed, all cuddled up against each other. He caresses your hair, something he’s always wanted to do. 

“You know we can be together and be best friends at the same time, right?” he whispered to your ear, holding you closer to him. 

You only hummed a reply to him, feeling too tired to open your eyes or speak up. You’d hear one last giggle and feel strands of your hair being moved out from your face before you drifted to sleep. 

♪ ♪ ♪

[Eight months later…]

It was a busy day. You were lined up to seize an opportunity of a lifetime, and you haven’t even graduated college. You were hopeful that they might consider your talents. A wise man by the name of Shotaro once said, “Fashion design is your thing, you can do it! I bet twenty.” you really hope you’d lose that twenty bucks. 

“Y/n?” you were spooked for a second, it’s a familiar voice. “Hi!” and a very familiar face.

“Gaeul?” your eyes dilated at the sight of her. 

She’s just as pretty as the last time you saw her. “Long time no see!” she opened her arms, inviting you in for a small hug, which you accepted gleefully. “How have you been?”

That single question brought you to lunch with her, and of course you had to bring Shotaro along. 

“I’ve always thought you two looked cute together, I’m glad to see the both of you happy.” she gives both of you a soft smile. 

“Thanks, well, how about you? still with Eunseok?” you quietly gasp, stilling yourself in your seat but still knitting your brows at your boyfriend. 

You felt that neither of you were really in the place to ask about her love life. “No, it’s okay!” Gaeul’s assurance helped calm your nerves. “I’m single.”

The two of you just nod, and you found that it was best to not pay much mind to it anymore. You engaged in constant conversation throughout your whole time eating, it was all very wholesome, and you were happy that Gaeul was making steps to achieving her dreams just like you were. The talk about relationships seemed to have sinked, well, not until Shotaro had to excuse himself in the bathroom.

“We were never together —at least it didn’t feel like it.” Gaeul’s utterance caught you off guard. You fell silent all of a sudden, and she noticed. “It never felt real. I cut ties with him after three weeks. And then he told me that—” she flicked her tongue over her top lip for a short while, “He liked you.” 

You took a second to take a sip of water, gulping like you were drinking thick sand.  

Despite parting with smiley farewells, her words dropped a heavy load on you. You carried it till you got back to your apartment and got settled on your bed. It was so heavy that you dropped it all on him, at a seemingly random moment. 

“She said he had a picture of me from our 8th grade yearbook in his pocket.” 

What you had shared with Shotaro struck him like livid thunder. He didn’t expect that Eunseok’s feelings for you would persist. He just wondered if it’s still there. But he could only hope for the best. Even after the whole conflict of two best friends liking the same girl —who also happened to be their best friend too— Shotaro still cared for Eunseok, even if he seemed entirely indifferent to him.

But it didn’t have to matter anymore. You chose him. He’s the one in your home, on your bed, always by your side, never to leave you.

♪ ♪ ♪

[Eight years later…]

What was once a small, dull colored room with faulty curtains and ugly flooring became a shared bedroom, in your shared house with the love of your life. Where the sunshine seeps at dawn, and the moon peeks at your dreaming bodies at night. It felt wonderful. Love felt so wonderful. Shortly after moving in together, you adopted a dog. You didn’t get that opportunity with that one clothing line back then, but now, you owned a line of your own. Your life couldn’t be anymore complete. 

Even if it wasn’t perfect. The flaws only proved your happiness to be real. After a night of too much alcohol at your highschool reunion, Shotaro would tell you exactly why he stopped talking to Eunseok. He cried about it all, saying that he knew all along that you two liked each other. But you were all over it now, and it was Shotaro who’s been by your side. Not everyone was able to attend that reunion —because apparently they were too successful to be there.

Yuna, you knew she was a friend of Eunseok. She approached the two of you at your table, greeting the both of you with a warm smile. “My boyfriend’s having a stand-up show this saturday, I was hoping the two of you could come. In fact, he wanted me to invite you guys.” then you were given two tickets for the venue. 

There weren’t any other details, the ticket was white, with not much but the title of the show. 

The next morning, you’d discuss it with Shotaro on the dinner table. You were sitting next to each other, his arm wrapped around your waist and his head resting on top of yours. “The time is pretty tricky, I have work scheduled at that time.” he plants a kiss on your temple before continuing to speak, “You should definitely go though! I’ll pick you up after, then —remember that dog cafe I told you about? we have to visit it after.” 

You giggled, looking up at him. He couldn’t resist by then, and would lower himself a bit to kiss you. And it wasn't a short one, more like a twenty-minute film. Nonetheless, it was beautiful, and you’ve never felt so loved. 

That Saturday, you went to the venue alone, but not without having the sweetest breakfast of your life with your lover. Pancakes with chocolate syrup, whipped cream and a few berries, and of course, a cup of coffee before proceeding to your own schedules for the day. 

You took the bus on the way there since Shotaro had to leave earlier. The show was a little later in the afternoon. 

When you got there, you looked for any familiar faces, but it was only when you got seated that Yuna came and sat down next to you. You two greet each other with inviting smiles, and a few minutes before the show starts, you’d converse and catch up a bit, after all, it’s been eight years.

“Gentlemen.” a voice echoed throughout the room. 

When you looked up at the stadium, “Gentlemen, may I have your attention —and ladies, I know I already got you.” 

What a surprise. And it was a pleasant one at that. He fits this line of profession. He seemed to enjoy being up there, talking and joking about whatever. It was just like meeting him all over again. He’s just being himself up there. Your best friend from childhood, that sadly didn’t even make it till middle school. Now, you were finally able to laugh at his jests, sometimes stopping for a while to process what he was saying. Still, the atmosphere was light and fun. The audience was truly alive, and so were you. 

At one point, he started talking about his girlfriend. Not quite hard for you to figure out since you remember Yuna mentioning at your reunion party that you were being invited to this show by her boyfriend, Song Eunseok.

“So, I finally decided to do something about it. I bought one of those electric blankets. Problem solved, right? Wrong. Now, our bed is divided like the Korean Demilitarized Zone. She’s over there toasty warm, and I’m on my side sweating like a marathon runner in a sauna. But you know what? I wouldn't trade her for anything. Because at the end of the day, it just gives me another reason to hold her close and keep her warm. And that, my friends, is how you win brownie points with your girlfriend.”

You can’t help but share a laugh with Yuna, letting her hold on to your shoulder as she titters. 

Eunseok saw you, how could he not when you were sitting next to his girlfriend. He was only a bit curious about Shotaro’s absence.

You’d explain it to him at the end of the show, “Sho’s got work, but he’s coming to pick me up.” you both stood just outside the venue, at the side of the building with a little less people going around.

“Sho? What happened to Taro?” Eunseok raised a single brow, and you’d chuckle. 

“Because you used to call him Taro.” you reply with a slight smile.

“Right.” he nods, his pace decreasing gradually as he tries to reach for something at the back of his tongue, “I’m just curious, did you actually hate me back then? like, when I moved and stuff.”

You chuckle a little louder, leaving him puzzled. “I liked you. I just avoided you. I just thought you didn’t care anymore.” you answer so simply, shrugging towards the end of your sentence.

“I thought you hated me, that’s why I wasn’t talking to you.” you took a sharp breath through your nose when he finished speaking. 

Then suddenly you both snort at the whole thing.

“It’s funny.”

“It really is.”

As your laughter died down, he’d clear his throat to ask you, “So, are you and Taro married?” you could see his eyes locked on the ring on your finger. 

“Engaged.” you nod, and he imitates your action. 

“Wow. I should propose to Yuna right now.” your eyes widened an inch, he could be joking, but you wouldn’t be surprised if he actually did. Besides, you could tell how much he loved his girlfriend just by that one ment he did earlier at the show.

“So suddenly?”

“Yeah, so then we’d be even!” 

It reminded you of a time in your childhood where you’d share your food with him because he forgot his lunchbox. You usually gave him more food, just cause you could, but then he’d give some back to you and he’d say, “Now we’re even.” it pulled on your heartstrings, but now you kinda wish you gave him just a piece or two of your animal crackers —and maybe two sips of your apple juice when the weather’s nice. 

“I’m afraid I'd scare her off and she’d say no.” 

“Really?” —you truly were a bit shocked that he was worried about being rejected. “Well, I believe she’ll say yes.”

“Really?” he imitates you again —the tone of your voice, “What makes you think that?”

You gave yourself a few seconds to think about what you were gonna answer to him. Suddenly you remember what you’ve written in your notes app. The funniest people I know. 1. Osaki Shotaro, 2. My dad, 3. Natty… he was off the list, but now, maybe it was for good reason. He was always known for being funny, now he has built a career out of it. Maybe, he was the greatest comedian of all. 

“You might just be the greatest comedian I know.” 

He laughs at your declaration of his greatness with his hands in his pocket, “I’m probably the only comedian you know.” —and more laughter.

He appreciated that you thought he was the greatest comedian. But as he looked back on the past, a past that was once painful, full of regret and missed opportunities, where you missed each other and realized only later in life. That period of your life would still prove to be pivotal. Right person, wrong time? maybe, but what else could it be other than silly memories when you find yourselves laughing about it. You’ve already settled for a love that you both deserve, a love that mended your hearts. It was all for the better, no matter how downcast all of it may seem. Worth a laugh, and a good story. 

The story started with oblivion, and a bouquet of flowers you never received, but it ends with two pairs of engagement rings, and two pairs of smiling hearts. That’s four people —in case you missed it. 

God did a great job writing their fate. And to Eunseok, God is the greatest comedian of all.

End.

cheers to a hundred peeps!! :3

[darcytaylor]

I feel like we’ve hit a very interesting time with Luke and Nicola. Now that we know they have been filming but we never saw any signs of it like they typically have shown, it seems fairly clear that they are changing up how they will be interacting on social media with the fans of Bridgerton. And quite frankly after her interviews at the 100 event, I am not seeing the same dedication and willingness to commit to the show that she had previously.

Luke in general is confusing because he has just basically dropped off the face of the Earth in a lot of ways, and even if he does have stuff going on behind the scenes, his lack of being at industry things or having social media partnerships, or brand collabs, etc is such a weird move after leading the season.

With the events of last weekend, and some of the weirdness around everybody else involved, I can’t help but feel like there is a lot of reasons for there to be resentment around this fandom and show. We don’t know these people obviously, and this is all conjecture and speculation, but it really feels different and like we are seeing the negative impact of all this on real people in real time and it is not fun.

Knowing they’ve been filming without posting about it could be a sign that they’re stepping back on purpose from interacting with fans - or it might be a strategic decision, where they’re not allowed to post anything Bridgerton-related at the moment. It’s easy to see how, as fans, we got used to almost daily posts, interviews, and content, and now the lack of that is jarring (even with the tour being months ago). Nicola is still posting, but compared to the world tour and before, it’s less frequent and a little less personal.

I do think that it’s worth mentioning that they have a larger fan base now, and with that, there would naturally need to be a change in their approach, both in terms of social media presence and other aspects of their lives. It’s possible that as they grow as public figures, they’re pulling back, maintaining boundaries, or shifting how they interact with their audience. They might be trying to be more intentional with what they share (although, if I’m being honest, Luke’s suitcase post didn’t seem very intentional or a good post to share with fans - especially if it's not work related travel).

Luke’s posts in general have been very lackluster, and his work-related announcements aren’t much better (it's only been about what hotel's he's been staying at). But as I’ve mentioned before in other posts, he could be trying to figure out his next steps, and when someone is doing that, it can take a while - life is hard. I have no idea what his plans are, or if he just needed a few months off from being front and centre of the biggest show of the summer.

Do I think it's the best career move? No, but it's not my career to worry about. I'm sure he'll figure it out and eventually show up at an industry event or two in the future.

It’s also possible that, with so much discourse surrounding his personal life, especially with speculation about who he might be dating, he’s navigating how to balance being in the public eye on a larger scale while still trying to maintain control over his personal life. He might be working on how to be in a relationship without letting the fandom or public opinion dictate his choices, which could be part of why he’s stepped back so much. But again who knows? Since his Italy trip, I really don't know what the status is of any of his relationships with the people in his life, and I think that's a good thing).

To be honest, I don't mind less posting from everybody involved. It's pretty peaceful!

And just like I've said so many times, I don't know any of these people. I don't know what is going on in their minds, anything is possible. I think the waiting game can be fun though!

[valtsv]

I know that your specialty is making fucked up lil guys who get more fucked up (which is awesome!). I was wondering if you ever like to write “healing journeys” (that May or may not include murder), or if you exclusively like making OCs worse (which is a vibe!).

I used to only write characters only “getting better” as how society might define it, but I am starting to branch out into doomed narrative/getting fucked up/no way back narratives. Which is terrifying to me with my own traumas/fears. You’ve inspired me to explore those uncomfortable places and sit with those feelings. Question why am I having those reactions when no one else is going to see me, and it has no other consequences for my daily life?

So I’m interested what it’s like writing from the other side, so to speak.

Thanks for listening to my rambling! I hope that you have a lovely day! :]

i have plenty of ocs who "get better", actually; recovery and healing is a big part of a lot of my characters' stories despite how bleak and cruel they might seem based on my summaries. however my ocs rarely tend to "get better" in the conventional, socially acceptable sense, like the arcs you mentioned yours used to follow. with my ocs, i like to start from a point of seemingly insurmountable despair, a descent to rock bottom that's already fallen deeper than light can penetrate, and ask myself "how could a person like this ever begin to find meaning and joy in life again?" and work from there. it often gets worse before it gets better, but at their lowest, a lot of my characters finally find what matters to them, and begin to pursue it. they might not be "good victims"; they certainly aren't heroes, or 'good people', or perfectly satisfied with their lot in life and unscarred or unembittered by their experiences. but most of them do find direction, acceptance, love and happiness. sometimes growth and healing means getting to be selfish. getting to be self-indulgent. allowing yourself to live despite it all. my characters are frequently outcasts, trodden underdogs, scrabbling for purchase on the edges of life, but they try to build the best life that they can for themselves, out there in the dark. for some of them, it's the happiest, safest place they can be, unseen and unscrutinized every waking moment of their lives.

[edosianorchids901]

Second Chances

@sherlocktember2024 prompt - "chair"

Holmes ought to have gone to sleep. He did consider it, for a time. He had been awake all night, after all, and well into the morning. Such was the nature of his work, where one must pursue a case regardless of the hour.

On the whole, Holmes much preferred to keep to his routine. Rising late, sleeping late, filling the hours between with interesting cases. But when those cases stretched on, he never minded the disruption. It wasn’t as if he could sleep anyway.

It was after dawn before he even finished his most recent case, a somewhat commonplace murder that had nonetheless provided some interesting distractions. Once the woman in question had been apprehended and turned over to Scotland Yard, Holmes and Watson returned to Baker Street.

Watson had immediately collapsed into bed. Holmes, on the other hand, lingered in the sitting room. For a time, he smoked. Then he simply gazed at the image of Reichenbach Falls that hung over the mantelpiece, and yearned for a time when his contributions to the world had truly mattered.

It was a self-centered line of thought, yet he found himself unable to shake it. He had done nothing to truly benefit humanity in so very long. He merely rounded up the odd commonplace criminal. What was the point of any of this?

Glum, he sank into his armchair and lit his pipe again. It would be easier to ward off the melancholy with Watson here, but Watson needed his rest. No, it was better to simply be on his own, to stagnate in misery without disrupting the good doctor’s life any more than he already had.

Holmes sat back in the chair, puffing idly at the pipe while the night wore past. Once he finished his current pipe, he tapped it out, packed it again, and promptly re-lit it. There was little point to doing anything else. Little point to his whole existence now that he had no worthy adversaries.

Still, despite his feeling that sleep was pointless, he at last dozed off in the chair. For a time, his dreams roved as idly as his cases. Meandering down cobblestone roads, pursuing criminals down alleys, bending over his chemistry equipment to test a hypothesis or two.

And then, as always happened with his dreams, they shifted. The daily life of London was replaced by stark cliffs, and plunging water, and Moriarty’s leering face.

Holmes rushed him, and grappled with him. For a moment, they teetered on the edge together. And then they shifted, and toppled over, and plunged down into the abyss.

Gasping, he jolted awake. He had expected to find himself chilled, as often happened when he fell asleep in his chair. It was not an unusual occurrence.

But instead, he was still curled up in his chair, but quite warm. A blanket—his favorite crocheted blanket—had been tucked carefully around him. The weight of it almost instantly soothed him, reminding him of where he was.

He blinked a few times, and then looked around. Watson, standing near the breakfast table, smiled at him. “Good morning, Holmes.”

Holmes took a deep breath, orienting himself. All right. He was in the sitting room, comfortably ensconced under his blanket. Watson was with him. All was well. “Good morning, Watson. I presume I have you to thank for my blanket?”

Watson’s smile softened into something even more affectionate as he poured tea. “Well, you were curled up in your chair, and you looked cold. I thought it might help.”

“Yes.” Holmes turned his fingers, brushing against the familiar weave. His heart beat too quickly, and he could not quite catch his breath. But Watson was here, and that meant he was all right. “Watson.”

Watson at once came to him, setting the tea down on the small table beside the armchair. He crouched down, resting his hand on Holmes’ arm. “I’m here. It’s all right.”

“I fear I had something of a nightmare. About Moriarty.” Despite that, Holmes had little wish to move. His blanket was warm, and comfortable, and Watson’s presence soothed the agitation. “Am I truly accomplishing anything in this life now that he has been defeated, Watson? I fear I am merely existing, and not contributing in the slightest.”

“That’s absurd, Holmes. You accomplish a great deal, and your existence brings me so much joy that I can’t even express it.” Still smiling slightly, Watson gazed at him for a moment, then patted his arm. “Drink your tea, old man. There is a letter from a prince asking for your aid in a kidnapping case.”

“A kidnapping! Well, well, well.” Although still reluctant to move, Holmes shot an arm out from under the blanket and snatched his tea. He took a drink, then set it down and forced himself to straighten up in his chair. “Would you be so kind as to read me the letter, Watson?”

Watson, of course, happily obliged him. Holmes leaned back, with his blanket still comfortably settled across him as he listened to his dear friend’s familiar voice. The calm, steady reading of the letter soothed him, reminding him of his responsibilities.

Because he did indeed have responsibilities, even if he often felt that his contributions now mattered very little. He was not engaged in a battle with Moriarty, no longer tangled in a vicious fight that he could not easily win. But even if these cases were not on the same scale, they still mattered.

And on days when Holmes struggled to have any faith in his contributions to the world, there was still one area in which he was sure of himself. His friendship with Watson was solid and secure, a source of joy for them both. And simply being with Watson, no matter how commonplace their current case, made life worth living.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

ooooh, a Luigi-centric episode? This will be interesting :)

(the following is my live reaction:)

we gotta have the sponsor, also hi Mario :D

Happy Memes Giving, guys!

Oh god, the Team's already killing me with the found family stuff, STOP IT /j So much going on, I need to go frame by fram:

I love that SMG3's talking to SMG1 and 2 here

Return of the Side Characters (TM)

SMG4, Mario, and Meggy are such a trio, that we need to come up with a name. Well, we already have the Star Trio (Four, Three, and Mario) so hmmmmm,

The Primaries (as in the primary colors and also being main characters) "But Meggy's orange-" Shhhhh, don't look too much into it, also a version of Meggy wore yellow in the Inside Out episode

I saw InkCap going around which is honestly a good one too

The Sillies (??? /hj)

The 3 Musketeers

I got nothing lol ANYWAY, Tari and Saiko are adorable honestly

Listen, I am a Megari shipper but also a multishipper soooo "wow, two cakes :) "

Kaizo's here too, hell yeah

Melony, Bob, Boopkins, and JubJub.... found family, please? 👀

sorry I just love this so much. If the Team's gonna do a Christmas episode, can we have a scene like this? I already wanted to be 3 and 4 just going shopping together to buy the gifts but it would be sweet to see everyone at the Castle opening their presents. We gotta keep going

Turning Red reference! That somehow fits Luigi perfectly

That's actually very sweet of you, Mario

OH that's right, Mario tried to do a Thanksgiving feast last time and that didn't go so well

It turns out that anyone can cook, and Mario has improved his skills. Anything is possible, very inspiring. Be like Mario :)

"Maybe I really am adopted." PFFT sorry that somehow got me

Aww, Luigi, it's okay. Anyone can have bad days, but you always have your bro to lean on.

....oh shit, what a jumpcut.

oh nooooo, I feel so bad for Meggy CAN I GIVE HER A HUG PLEASE?!

also Three, really? Or are you just putting up a front and do actually care? Because you didn't need to come, but you did anyway. (Unless you were, like, forced to.) We all saw what you did in the "Welcome to Puzzle Park" episode, you tried to save Four & Mario. I suspect that Three's like "Mario went along and did something stupid...again." Well, Three, what else did you expect? Besides, Mario did it for his bro

Mario could handle eating poison sooo it's must've been that bad of a food poisoning. at least he's alive

also TARI NEEDS A HUG TOO, THANK YOU SAIKO FOR COMFORTING HER

and ooohh, Karen feels upset about it too. After all, it was thanks to Mario, Karen was able to bond with her kids.

NOOO LUIGI DON'T FEEL BAD, YOU DIDN'T MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN

holy shit, that car was just speeding (very realistic tbh)

oh hey Old Man, you're free!

[*looks at watch*] Eh, screw finals. It's time for my daily heartattack

OH the voiceacting! Hell yeah!!!

woah Luigi, you were so lucky... OMG PFFT I did not expect the truck to just crash into an orphanage

He did it!

oh Mario got out of the coma, hooray!

also very accurate pfp

"HI GUYS!" "Hi Steve!"

...wot?

they really are brothers :)

(mario without his mustache is still cursed)

ay the alarmo reference is back!

HEY don't you start comparing them! he's doing a fantastic job >:(

HOLD UP LUIGI GOT SOME MOVES, GO LUIGI GO

[*sigh*] how did we get here for this direct to be accurate?

Four still having a grudge against nintendo is so funny to me for some reason

BREAKING NEWS?!

can we have powerpoint presentations on the Wii from now on?

"Year of Luigi 2" I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they did that in real life bc Year of Shadow is doing so good right now

wait... don't tell me... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GONNA KILL HIM OFF

AAAWWWWWW DUDE STOPPPPPP

TRUE SIBLING MOMENT

HOLY SHIT THIS ANIMATION HOLD UP

wait a second... OMG, IS THAT A REMIX OF PHOENIX WRIGHT CORNERED THEME IN THE BACKGROUND??!??!?!?!?! WHOEVER PUT THAT IN THERE, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

THE BROTHERSHIP MEME, love that

HOW DARE THEY USE MY OWN WEAKNESS AGAINST ME? THAT'S NOT FAIR WTF

LOOK AT ME, NO DON'T LOOK AT ME /ref

can we give a round of applause for this one bc wow this was incredible

anyway, congrats to _SunFlower_sl for your art being featured in the credits 🎉 as it turns out, it's 3&4 as Sonic & Shadow which is honestly perfect (manifesting 3&4 to join Mario in a future Sonic Movie 3 episode, fuck it I'm gonna write it)

actually, this might be a sign hmmmmm

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

BRAVO! BRAVO! This was an amazing episode! I was already in a great mood seeing that we were getting a Luigi episode but the Team really went above and beyond on this one, especially the writing. We got to see some development for Luigi too. I really did love Mario being a supportive and loving brother. As the oldest sibling, this has my stamp of approval! (No, I'm not crying, what are you talking about?) Then, just the little nods here and there with callbacks and references, I really appreciate that.

Now, let's not forget the animation, voice acting, and editing! Great job, Team, as always. You guys manage to surprise me every time. And whoever put the cornered theme, I owe you everything 💙

Overall, 1000/10, highly recommended! I do hope they continue on this streak of well-written episodes. (I wouldn't mind another funny/wholesome episode.) Give yourself a pat on the back, Team, every one of you did amazing!

That's all from me! Now, I have to go and study for uni finals, wish me luck!

[dailydragon08]

hi! if it's ok I'd love to request a scenario for the star wars gang please :) I'd love to see how they all react to a genderfluid s/o (if you have any questions plz dm me :D)

thank you!

Thanks so much for the ask! Sorry this took so long, I was on a bit of a semi-hiatus, but am back now and working on the other asks in my box! Also, thank you to @kaleidoscope1967eyes for some of the suggestions in here!

I think everyone would kind of be in the realm of similar reactions here, but with a few small differences. Everyone is very accepting about you being gender fluid and doesn’t make a huge deal of it, but are very protective of you in different ways. Eventually, they all get a knack for being able to tell whether you’re leaning more masc, fem, or somewhere in between for the day just by your clothes and hairstyle and will adjust pronouns accordingly if necessary.

Growing up as royalty and a major player in both the imperial senate and the New Republic, Leia is always on top of the latest fashions (which I wish they explored more in other media, but I digress). I think she’d be so interested in helping you adapt different clothing and hairstyles to how you were feeling that particular day and loves finding an outfit that either matches or sort of rhymes what you’re wearing to any events—or even just day-to-day wear. Being royalty and a politician, she’s traveled a lot, so this isn’t a new concept to her at all, and she thanks you for telling her with a warm smile and shoulder squeeze before getting down to business for the day. She’s very adamant that you not only have all the gender-affirming things you need day to day, but also that your preferred pronouns are written correctly in all official documents.

And if someone tries to misgender you or discriminate against you in any way whatsoever, Leia will give them the biggest dressing down of their life – no matter the time, place, or audience – and make sure they know to never pull anything like that ever again. By the time she’s done, they’re standing there like a chastised, guilty toddler as they apologize to you. If she had to, Leia would glare down and lecture the entire senate until they not only got it right, but didn’t even think about forgetting or getting it wrong ever again.

Luke is very accepting and wants you to feel safe and welcome with him above all else. He would make sure to give you a soft smile and thank you for telling him before opening up a discussion to make sure he was doing everything he could to support you and learn how he could improve. He does research on his own as well and if you’re also Force-sensitive, he will get you as many custom-made Jedi robes as you want so you have options for whatever you’re feeling day to day. He checks in with you frequently, both verbally and through the Force, to make sure you’re feeling okay and check if you’re using different pronouns from the day before. If you’re comfortable, he starts doing a daily check in via telepathic connection each morning so that even if you don’t have time to talk or are several rooms away, he’s still well informed.

The way he defends you differs a bit from his sister. If someone misgenders you or makes any sort of unnecessary comment, he’ll immediately interrupt and correct them. His face and tone stay as calm and serene as ever thanks to his Jedi training, but you can feel the irritation flowing off of him if it’s anything more than an innocent mistake. If this person continues with their behavior, he’ll correct them again and ask them to be respectful and make it clear in no uncertain terms that he sees any disrespect to you as disrespect to him and that the two of you will be walking away until they can conduct themselves better. Afterwards, he’s checking in on you and apologizing for the experience so gently and doing whatever it takes to make you feel better.

Han being Han of course makes some harmless, playful remark the first time your style drastically changes in front of him. But once you explain you’re gender fluid, he takes it in stride with a “good to know; so what are we doing for lunch?” He tends to be more observant than people give him credit for – especially with those he cares about – and although he gets good at knowing what you’re feeling that day with a glance, still decides to make a “Gender of the Day” game. Traveling around on the Falcon with him puts you in constant proximity and you find yourself stealing his shirts and jackets quite often on more masc-leaning days (which never hesitates to pull a cocky compliment or pickup line from him).

Anyone who dares to make a snide comment gets Captain Solo in full force, with a low “listen here, pal” as he leans across the table and makes sure they know if it happens again, they’ll not only have an angry sharpshooter on their hands, but also a pissed off Wookiee.

To follow up, Chewie (platonic) also is immediately accepting and although you can’t understand his language, you overhear Han keeping him up to date with your pronouns every day. Eventually, you learn from C-3PO’s translation that Chewie goes out of his way to ask someone in the OT gang every morning (and sometimes directly comes to you with the protocol droid’s help) just to make sure he’s got it right. He’s more than happy to help Han defend you as well and even when it’s just the two of you, he gives an ominous growl as he stands up to his full seven feet if anyone gives you trouble.

Similar to Leia, Lando is also well-traveled and an avid lover of fashion. This isn’t a new concept to him at all and in fact, when the two of you meet, he’s already asking what your preferred pronouns are. Like the princess, he’s also always elated to help you adapt your fashion choices and has many things custom-made for you – you can hardly say you like something or wish an aspect of a piece of clothing was a little different before he’s already buying it or having his tailors work on it. He even gifts you some articles of clothing that are a two (or even three!) in one via folding a flap a certain way, zipping something, etc. so that one shirt or pair of pants can double as either more masc, fem, or in between.

He's extremely protective of you, no matter who is giving you problems, and will always insert himself between you and the perpetrator with a hey before correcting them in a tone that leaves no room for argument. Especially with his higher rank in the rebellion, he can easily have someone removed from the room if needed and if Chewie’s nearby, employs the Wookiee’s help as well.

R2-D2 (platonic) chirps and beeps while wobbling on his outer legs to let you know he understands and is more than happy to support you. Although you can’t typically understand his noises, he still will sneakily change code in official documents or computer systems to reflect correct pronouns and if someone’s giving you a hard time, he’ll use one of his little retractable arms to give them a little shock.

C-3PO (platonic) of course is aware of gender fluidity, but has never met someone like you – at least, not that he remembers before his memory was wiped. Ever since then, he’s been glued either to Leia or Luke’s side, so hasn’t had a chance to experience much outside of the chaotic workload the rebellion usually requires. But he’s so interested and excited to ask you questions if you’ll allow, but also makes sure to educate himself on his own. You have to hold back your laughter sometimes when he excitedly comes to you about some new piece of information he found as if you didn’t know it yourself – but of course, halfway through his excited ramble, he remembers who he’s talking to and goes “oh, I’m so terribly sorry” before offering to help you in any way he can, always interrupting and correcting people when needed, and if they don’t back down, telling them point blank “well, I think you’re rather rude.”

~~

Taglist: @kaleidoscope1967eyes @masterlukessaber @coffeeorsomething-irl @eveningserenityyy @victorian-nymph @lxstfathier @rogue-kenobi @lavandula-ipsum @sonofthedunes @pomplalamoose @lex-the-flex @ilovemarkhamill

[jetblackromance]

Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts about people reading Neil as being completely exy obsessed, not caring about anything else (including his own possible death).

And that's funny to me because I've never read him like that?😅 just wondering if I'm alone with this but:

In my head, Neil doesn't actually care about exy.

It's about what exy represents to him:

Exy is what his brain latched onto when he had nothing else. Playing exy is probably one of his happiest childhood memories. Then, when they were on the run, to distract himself, he probably thought of exy to escape the real world. He obsessively followed news about Kevin and Riko. It became his coping mechanism to escape from everything that was going on in his real life. Because if he had focused on his daily life, he would have gone insane. No child can grow up normally while being on the run.

So I don't think he actually cares about exy per se. It's just that exy is the only thing that let's him forget. It's the only thing he feels like he can control. If he practices a lot, he'll get better. If he makes his teammates get along, they'll have a better chance of winning the next game. Winning the next exy game is a goal he can actually accomplish if he works hard.

Meanwhile trying not to get caught by his father's men is out of his control. He tried to stay hidden for some time. But without his mother by his side, he had to carry the weight of his decisions all by himself. He had to choose which city he'd go to next. And he simply didn't know what would be the best choice, where he'd be the least likely to get caught. There were no guarantees. So, he was doing what he thought was best but had no way to know whether he was making the right choice. And let's not forget he was only a teenager still!! And he literally had to make choices that could result in his own death. That's a lot of stress for a teen. And despite having to make choices on a daily basis, he had zero actual control about whether he'd get caught or not. It was mostly just luck. So why bother trying to stay on the run?

So, he gives in and starts playing exy, which is probably the only interest he allowed himself to have. And suddenly he had full control over his life again. Going to high school? He could manage that. Signing up for exy? He'd ace the try-outs and have a first whiff of a sense of achievement after years of nothing but angst and stress. Actually playing exy? The more he practiced the better he got, the more goals he scored. Everytime something worked out the way he wanted to, he got hit by endorphins. So his brain latched onto that. He became obsessed with exy.

So, in my head, Neil only likes exy because of the control and distraction it provides him with. It could have been literally anything else. He just needs this one constant in his life, that he can control and that provides him a mental escape when he needs it most.

Am I the only one who thinks that? 😂 or am I maybe misunderstanding all the posts claiming he "wants to play stick ball so fucking bad, he doesn't care how many chances he has to escape certain death" or that "he gave up every rule he ever abided by to play exy".

He doesn't not care about staying alive. He had to fight to stay alive for so long, he just can't think about his father and the mafia any longer without it triggering years of suppressed memories and feelings.

He didn't give up all rules he ever abided by, he was about to break under the weight his mother's rules had put on his shoulders. He gets this first positive experience and he wants more, he gets addicted to exy just like people get addicted to drugs. But he doesn't care about exy, he cares about how exy can make him feel.