#i never post hateful things at all but if I were

[velvetvexations]

Chiming in on the whole "do tmascs/the transandrophobia community actually harass tfems on the scale that is claimed" thing, I've been wondering that for a while too, especially since back when [Popular Trans Blogger] was dealing with The Most Normal CEO Ever I saw literally EVERY SINGLE major voice in transandrophobia circles immediately drop everything, put aside all the harassment and hate they had faced, make it clear that trans people being harmed by cishet society comes before discussing deeper theory, and basically non-stop post about how she didn't deserve that and openly critique tumblr's transphobia and how it hurts tfems despite the fact that that user and her followers had been consistently vile to transmascs. Like they all jumped up to add their voices against the banning, it was so fucking clear they were able to prioritize protecting trans people no matter what, and no one ever really talks about it because they also don't gloat about putting the swords down for the greater good. It's just something they know needs to be done and they won't paint themselves as heroes or martyr for it.

On the other hand, I've never in my entire life seen a big TRF or anyone who travels in those circles ever stick their neck out when tmascs are experiencing harassment and transphobia, not once. Not even when it leads to the same unjust bans that tfems face(which do happen, at similar rates to tfem bloggers like the idea that the trans bans are a tfem only thing is simply not true). Like I've blogs that are constantly posting about how "if you never post anything about supporting trans women then you're probably a secret transmisognist" turn around and respond to people pointing out that they never post anything even vaguely supportive of tmascs(not even talking about discourse just the usual "trans men are valid and deserve support" positivity stuff that goes around) who are on their "side" by saying "um I'm a trans woman and this is my personal blog so I don't have to say nice things about trans men ever and it says absolutely nothing about me that I never have anything kind or nice to say about even the transmascs that are on my side/valid in my opinion and actually it's bigoted for you to demand I say nice things about other trans people fuck you kthxbye" and I just. What??

I know that there have been some cases of tmasc/transandrophobia bloggers harassing a trans woman, but like. It's pretty rare and usually only a couple of people. And that's still bad ofc but the scale is different for sure. In terms of big, influential tumblr users I swear every single time a popular tfem gets deactivated all the transandrophobia bloggers jump to their defense, meanwhile TRFs just gleefully go around attacking every trans guy who so much as breathes in their direction and calls you a transmisognist if you point out that it's fucked of them to have a double standard about trans rights. Or acts like "I said something bigoted and other members of my community got mad" is harassment. Like [Popular Tfem Musician] was def getting Harassed but I watched the whole thing unfold and while there were a few shitty tmascs chiming in, overall the harassment was led by an entirely different group who was mad about something unrelated, they just happened at the same time so everyone figured ALL the harassment was coming from tmascs when it very much was not.

(Also tmasc/transandrophobia bloggers are also constantly adding "if you're a follower and I see you bothering the person I'm talking about I'll report and block you myself" they like care a lot about all trans people and will show tf up for even ones they disagree with or who have directly harmed them when push comes to shove. [Popular MLP Tfem Artist] is still getting accused of harassing other trans women despite her constantly instructing her audience to leave everyone alone. And I have def seen way more transandrophobia bloggers call out any tmascs or other trans people on "their" side get ignored and deplatformed if they prove to be bad actors. I don't see TRFs doing that like. Ever. Like they go "take our the trash in your community" to tmascs but pretend they can't read when someone asks them to denounce people who openly harasses tmascs. Or just makes excuses for them because surely we can't actually harm a trans man, it doesn't count.)

But yeah I fully assume the reason TRFs say no one ever harasses tmascs but that they harass tfems all the time is because they simply do not think harassing trans people is wrong so long as it's directed at the correct target. I mean why would the "trans men don't have real problems" crowd ever actually say anything nice about them or help them when they're being harassed or tell their followers to leave them alone? It's just really sad to watch, big tmasc bloggers are not harassing people the way the TRFs want everyone to think, and they certainly don't harass other trans people the way TRFs do, but they get burdened with the harassment accusations and no one thinks to even check if that's actually what's happening.

10/10, I have nothing to add.

[milkoomi]

finding & knowing your worth. ᥫ᭡

i wanted to take some time and talk about self-worth. this is something that was extremely difficult for me to find and realize for myself, but as i look back on my life and reflect on my growth, i’ve found myself truly knowing my own worth. of course, i still have those days that are more difficult than others, but i’ve been able to quickly pick myself back up. why? because i know my worth. i want to share a few things that have helped me realize that for myself, so i hope this post is able to enlighten you. ㅤ♡

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — lose interest in outsider opinions

in simpler terms: stop caring. i kept asking myself, “why do i care so much about what others are thinking of me?” and then i came across a couple quotes where one said, “if you wouldn’t trust their advice, why would you take their criticism?” and the other said, “i would never want to trade lives with someone who hates me.” those two quotes really stuck with me because it reminded me that those people who didn’t have a good opinion of me were the same people i needed to stop caring about.

so what if someone didn’t like me? that person is either no longer a part of my life (for good reason) or they don’t know me in the ways that my loved ones or my own self do, so why should what they have to say or think about me matter?

i knew myself better than anyone, so whatever anyone had to say about me shouldn’t have bothered me, and i let it stop bothering me. i also realized that as my day goes on and i find myself not thinking about what someone said, i tell myself that it wasn’t even worth a single thought in the first place because, clearly, it doesn’t bother me anymore!

if it won’t matter to you in 5 years, don’t continue to give it any more of a meaning.

୨ৎ — stop seeking validation

to piggyback off of my previous point, seeking outside validation is 1. not worth your time and 2. pointless. other people should never be the ones who define your worth. you have to seek validation from yourself. nobody else has a right to tell you whether or not you’re worthy.

i was always looking for validation from others, and it made my own journey to finding myself even more difficult. there were so many different opinions about me that i kept hearing, and it made me feel lost. it felt like i was getting further and further from truly discovering myself and feeling like i was worth something.

i had to pretty much force myself to seek validation within myself rather than from anyone else. it was hard, but the longer i kept searching for some kind of worth to others the more miserable and empty i felt.

୨ৎ — self reflection

time to bring out that journal, babe. we’re going to write about ourselves.

no, seriously, take some time to reflect on yourself. look within yourself and understand yourself a bit more. getting to know yourself and taking the time to focus on yourself can help you figure some things out and even bring you one step closer to truly knowing your worth.

prompts for reflection:

what are 3 characteristics about your personality do you like about yourself? why?

what are your strengths? how do those things about you make you a better person?

what’s your favorite thing(s) about you? how would they compare to what a loved one would say about you?

what are the things that weigh you down? what can you do to lift that weight off your shoulders?

how have you changed within the last 3 years? what about you has changed that you’re really proud of?

self reflection has helped me grow so much. i’ve learned so many new things about myself and it’s helped appreciate myself way more. you’ll be surprised at all the things you find about yourself, and guess what? one of those things will be your own worth.

୨ৎ — surround yourself with positivity

the people who you surround yourself with will play a huge role in how you feel about yourself. i spent too many years surrounded by people who made me feel like i was never enough, and i continued to keep the same kind of people around. i was sick of it. i was tired of being mistreated and feeling betrayed. those people made me feel miserable and they only ever brought me down rather than lifted me up.

even the media i consumed didn’t help me. i was always so focused on comparing myself to those instagram models and tiktok girls who looked nothing like me, and it made me feel worse about myself. even watching videos or shows that brought me down made my esteem drop too.

it’s important to surround yourself with people and media that make you feel good, that lift you up, and that help you feel confident because that kind of good treatment is what you deserve! you shouldn’t have to submit yourself to negativity, it only makes you feel worse and it’ll continue to get worse the longer you keep those things and people around.

now that i have people in my life that make me feel genuinely loved and cared for, i feel like i can offer that same energy those people give me to myself! it really makes a huge difference who your close circle consists of, so make sure those people are people who are genuinely and unconditionally there for you.

୨ৎ — final notes

if you do need a reminder: you are worthy, and you always have been! finding and knowing your own worth is no easy feat, but the journey you’ll go on to discover it and implement it into your life will be so extremely worth it. i promise!

you will always be more than enough, and i hope you can continue to remind yourself of that. treat yourself with genuine love and kindness, and don’t ever take yourself for granted. you have achieved so much and you have so many things to offer in life. you may not see it now, but once you do, you’ll see just how beautiful and bright your own light is.

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[meadowfics]

boredom got a new bestfriend

kang dae-ho x pregnant!reader

pregnancy has been exhausting, but luckily your partner is here for you.

warnings: post-squid game au. ptsd themes included but this is mainly comfort I swear

it felt like you were feeling postpartum depression before you even gave birth to the baby.

your daughter is the best thing to be happening for you right now, a human-being sharing the dna of you and your sunshine of a husband.. but you hate the discomfort.

your belly is a little bit bigger for someone who is 34 weeks along.

the doctor predicts that your girl will come out a little bit more developed than the average infant.. great.

growing up for all of your life, you slept on your stomach.

sleeping on your side and/or back during this pregnancy makes you wake up each hour, ready to throw up or cramped due to the uncomfortable position.

the lack of sleep has been killing you, and you know it will not get any better once the girl arrives.

don't worry, dae-ho has been the best partner ever, doing as much as he can to help you!

he doesn't know how it feels to carry a baby for nine months, especially a baby thats in a bigger percentile (thanks to his genetics), but he can see how much its affecting you mentally.

the man will cuddle you to sleep, give you foot massages, head massages too.. but it seems like his daughter wants to give you hell.

you're bored throughout the day as well.

its all of the time.

before your pregnancy, you used to go on walks and do chores and run errands for other people for money.

well, you had to before you joined the games.

the games are apart of the reason as to why you barely get any sleep, scared that you will wake up to someone killing you with a fork to add money to the pile.

however, you remind yourself that you are safe.

the baby is safe, you are with dae-ho, and you're all alive and safe.

even if you aren't comfortable due to your belly..

now, you cannot do a simple task like going to the grocery store without getting tired.

you've had enough, you cannot wait for the six weeks until your daughter is born.

one night, it reached its point when you went to sleep beside dae-ho.

the man's arm was wrapped around your fully developed belly, he loved to hold his daughter that you carried.

you laid on your back, your head laid down on the pillow looking up at the ceiling.

it was 12:02am when you fell asleep.

a big kick caused by your daughter made you jump awake.

dae-ho didn't wake up after you moved his arm from your stomach.

thankfully since you want him to get his sleep at least.

when you checked the time, tears immediately poured out of your eyes.

its 12:12am..

you couldn't even get ten minutes of good sleep without your body, or your daughter, stopping that.

walking out of the bedroom into the living room, you decided to turn on an old sitcom rerun that played on the overnight channels.

that did not entertain you.. nothing seemed to.

you tried to romanticize the moment, going to quickly grab some water and a fruit bowl so you could eat and relax.. but nothing worked.

sleeping was the best option, but waking up every ten minutes is driving you insane.. so why sleep at all?

"baby?"

you saw dae-ho enter the living room, wiping his tried eyes with his hands.

he is just wearing his plaid pajamas and no shirt. sexy.

sex could help the boredom, since intimacy with dae-ho is never boring, but you were too exhausted to even move at all.

"why are you awake?"

you softly ask, unaware that he could ask you the same thing.

which he is..

"I was going to ask you the same thing, since you're watching a sitcom marathon at one in the morning.."

dae ho mumbles, his big hand resting on your thigh as he looks ahead at the show on the television.

"your daughter is not letting me sleep, so I figured that watching television could pass time.. but that is not helping."

you frown.

dae-ho frowns too, moving his hand from your thigh and gently rubbing your belly.

he moves his head down towards your belly as well, going to talk to your daughter through your nightgown.

"awh, sweetheart, why are you being so mean to your mommy?"

you smile at this gesture, knowing your daughter will go right back to kicking your organs all over the place.

"I can't sleep and I am very bored.. I don't know how I am going to last these six weeks, dae."

you plead.

the man looks up at you, guilt in his eyes, as he tried to think of a solution.

"well, I can offer besides cuddles and physical affection to help you sleep comfortably.. but maybe I could stay up with you so you are not so bored as well?"

the tired man speaks through his raspy voice.

"no, dae-ho, you need your sleep."

"you need it a lot more than I do.."

dae-ho smiles,

"you will need to gain enough energy when its time to push next month!"

he's right.

how were you supposed to birth your daughter if you were too tired to push?

the man sees worry flash before your eyes and retracts his words,

"wait I was kidding, I--"

"dae-ho, I know, don't worry!"

you giggle.

you relax into your man's arms while watching the boring show on the television.

it feels like your daughter stopped her soccer/football game happening inside of your uterus.

so you close your eyes to see if your mind will take you to sleep.

you focus on dae-ho's scent since your nose is against his chest.

the first thing you notice is that dae-ho used your body wash while he showered at some point.. your vanilla body wash.. wow!

suddenly, you couldn't process anything else as you fell asleep with dae-ho.. since he already fell asleep before you.

when you wake up, the sun is shining through the curtains and you were back in your bed.

you were... comfortable.. woah.

something you haven't felt since before your belly starting growing with your baby.

the soft ivory blanket was warm against your cool skin, the pillow soft underneath your ears.

dae-ho is still asleep, his back facing towards you.

you move yourself to get behind him, big spooning him as your belly pokes his lower back.

"goodmornin', my baby."

dae-ho's raspy voice speaks, taking your small hand and kissing your knuckle lightly.

"good morning, handsome."

you smile, feeling refreshed.

looking over at the alarm clock, the time reads 10:38am

taking a huge sigh of relief, you cuddled into dae-ho more, happy to finally get some good rest after months of failure.

"how did you sleep?"

dae-ho mumbles against your soft hands.

"I slept good, for once."

you giggle.

"see, I knew my little talk to (daughter's name) would work!"

dae-ho smiles and you giggle.

"thank you, love."

masterlist

[gangstalkerbarbie]

OK topical swerve but: punk is inherently about being countercultural, which is why Soviet punks were/post-Soviet punks are a bit obsessed with fascist imagery, and also why so many punks you might politically agree with are ginormous dicks personally.

I think this is an important point to introduce into discussions of the future of a hypothetical solarpunk society — when the fighting is done (and it is fighting), when the raw glory of it fades, how is a new society going to deal with the future it builds? How is it going to be sustainable? When this isn't countercultural anymore but you've built a mainstream society that still values nonconformism for its own sake, where is that going to lead?

I think some of the most important work that can be done is the type of community building that looks forward to the point where life is liveable, and then beyond it, to the next generation. This is a point that people in activist circles often forget about because, for completely understandable reasons, most people with the time to do ecofuturist activism are childless or child free — but any society is going to contain children, you know? It has to.

Is it a sustainable world we're building if we aren't, now, thinking about being able to sustain it, in terms of cultural infrastructure for its maintenance and for the raising of healthy children? In terms of the values we want to instill? All of this is to say that it's natural for sustainable healthy communitybuilding in defiance of the state to be labeled as punk /now/, but think again about what happened to the counterculture in the Soviet Union.

That's not why it collapsed, but it devoted endless needless time to beating on its youth for wanting American jeans and shit, for wanting connection with the world, and, like, what are we doing about our equivalent of our kids wanting jeans? Not that, not like, fucking statist repression, but it often seems to me like people in these circles either are still teens, finger on the pulse of how to talk to teens because they're not in an unavoidable hierarchic position of authority over people afraid of authority yet, or have never met a teenager, ever.

I want to interject to say that mythbuilding and identity construction is integral to any society, and I worry sometimes that strongly identifying living a healthy, sustainable, governmentally unexploited life with punk, with the counterculture, might lead into a repeat of history. And then — your society crumbles, because your kids that the state knows how to get to over the internet are young and dumb and buy into ideologies that subvert you out of spite, because you encouraged them to believe that they have a right to do this.

This is why hippie communes usually last a couple generations at most. The government is not as dumb as people think, and this is why most serious activists in this vein focus on making existing, recognised communities better — but even there, there are limits to the usefulness of anger. Don't plant trees and cook meals for the homeless and elderly and agitate for rail because you hate the state — you'll run out of steam.

Do it because you love your city and you'll fight until your neighbours, in all their smallminded conservatism and traumatic relation with civics and sexism and racism and old pain, have clean water and clean air and clean food.

It takes a particular kind of person to be punk to begin with, and you actually very much don't want to cultivate this type of person in a new society, or even in an activist movement to improve an old one. When things get bad enough, and there is always a bad enough for every kind of such individual, this type of person trashes everything around them because fuck you (the new authority) and then does absolutely nothing to help. They came to the commune or the movement to make coffee with Sock and Moss and to grieve their grievances, ultimately, and to feel part of something. Eventually they either get bitter and useless or run out.

No one asked, but this is why personally I don't identify myself as solar or any punk. Punk identity is transitory and fundamentally relies on there being an enemy to rebel against. I'm not pretentious enough to call myself an activist and I don't count as white enough in the US to be taken seriously as such, but in order to be something approximating an activist, you have to think about what happens after.

We fight now, but the most a warrior generation can ultimately do for the health of the community is eventually to beat their swords mostly to ploughshares. How are we going to make sure the kids maintain what we've built, without threat of harm or coercion? What do we do for the children? Eventually angry defiance has to cool down to calm, assured disobedience that knows what it's doing, or else the movement attracts a critical mass of angry, defiant, compromising people, who can't be trusted and won't be directed and don't even know what they're fighting for. Anger makes you dumb, and we can't afford to be dumb about this now that the forces we're looking at know how to break down societies like we hope to have.

We have to work with the human nature we have, and again, I think that means minimizing adversarial framing. With adversarial framing you have sides instead of communities, and if you have sides...

All of this is to say, we have got to cultivate a hopeful, resilient, disobedient activism grounded in a mature, communitarian civics, where there are no wrong kinds of people, but there is a right civic ethic.

They're very good at this in Detroit, despite everything. I used to volunteer with a guerrilla gardening initiative run by the people who taught me this.

I keep seeing people asking ‘is solarpunk really punk?’ because it’s too happy and optimistic and stuff

and I’m picturing a perfect moment in a solarpunk community — the neighbourhood mayor standing with a shit-eating grin on her face when the cops come and cut them off from city power, and nothing turns off

[ihrthoney]

for us

pairings: namgyu x preg!reader

warnings: angst & fluff :p

an: i started my first big girl job but im motivated so ill try to post more :)! i haven’t posted in a minute and i hate pregnancy tropes but i make the exception for squid games lol. i will make a part two!

nam-gyu was many things, an addict, a partier, an idiot and a sweetheart. the sweetest ever, actually.

unfortunately for you you worked at club pentagon, which is how you met the physical embodiment of an acid trip.

who he was when he was sober was something you cherished and kept close to your heart. it wasn’t hard to weave your way into his rotten lungs, but soon enough you became his air, his new high.

after learning you never did substances, he switched positions at the club and asked you to get a safer job, not wanting you to inevitably cave to the horrible things that he tries.

you scold him of course, reprimand him and argue about hating how he acted when under the influence. for a while he managed to stop, wanting something serious and stable.

but then he met thanos, he came home obnoxiously intoxicated. nam-gyu was so star struck that he saw a famous rapper that he didn’t understand why you locked him out of the room, until he woke up the next morning with a headache he only got when he was on drugs.

apologies spewed out of his mouth, wishing for a second chance. his wish was granted, he found another outlet for “extra money” and promised you both a fresh start.

until the extra money vanished off the face of the earth and now he was in incredible debt.

the few months of bliss now gone, thoughts of continuing such an unstable relationship this far into life didn’t seem like a good idea. the arguments were bad, mostly on your end as you couldn’t get him to stop begging and spilling empty promises,

“i’ll make the money back and i’ll work harder to make more for you, please baby i’m so sorry.” the sight of him on his knees and holding your legs would’ve been kind of sweet if this wasn’t the millionth time he’s promised to be better.

to his disappointment, you walked out of his life that night, asking him to only find you when he grew up.

he was determined to make the money back, nam-gyu had no hesitation when calling the number on the card.

-

seeing thanos’ face on the big screen in the unfamiliar room brought a bitter taste in your mouth. you felt bad, seeing as he had the talent but like your ex he succumbed to the high instead.

your ex. that fucking moron. that piece of shit doesn’t even know you’re carrying his damn kid.

a week after you walked out of his life, you guys met up one time to exchange clothes and what not but one thing lead to another and here you were in hospital debt. finding a stable job was hard, especially when you worked as a bartender most of your adult life.

the stress was eating you alive, renting the nice place you had was not cheap and the nice landlord could only be nice for so long because you had to start paying more.

the past few months have been rough and you really wish you had the support of your ex even if he wasn’t the greatest, he was yours and that’s all that really mattered.

standing in line to sign the consent forms made you nauseous, afraid of what’s to come. as you’re walking back to your bed, you get stopped by a hand on your shoulder,

“yn?”

you feel your heartbeat quicken as you turn around and look at your ex boyfriend.

“why are you here?” his hand is still on your shoulder, slightly moving up and down your arm.

he always had a thing for keeping a hand on you, he said it grounded him.

“the same reason everyone is, debt.”

the expression on his face makes your chest ache, he looks so concerned that it makes you a wee bit mad, “what debt are you in? you’ve always been financially responsible!”

he was right, out of you two you made the smarter choices. it dawned on you that you had yet to tell him you’re pregnant with his kid.

“yn? what happened? did someone scam you? i know some people that could find them.” his tone deepening as he becomes more serious, “no! it’s not like that. it’s complicated..”

the worry in your voice makes his eyes fill with worry, “baby, you can tell me.” the name makes you push away from him but the distance is immediately gone as he closes it, pulling your hands into his own. you can’t look him in the eye, scared he’s going to be mad at you.

you’re going to keep it no matter what but the thought of him hating you and your kid makes your heart crack.

the swirled hormones make everything seem so much more intense, tears start to fill your eyes which makes his widen. his hands, ever so warm, hold your face and tilt it so you’re looking at him.

“what’s wrong, i’m here ba-“

“i’m pregnant, nam-gyu.” he pulls his hands off of your face like he was burned, an expression of hurt and anger swirls in his eyes,

“who’s the father?” you look at him like he’s stupid, which only makes him more upset. “why are you looking at me like that?”

does he seriously think i got with someone else?

nam-gyu is distraught, the thought of you no longer being in love with him makes him sick. the fact that you’re carrying someone else’s child makes any will to live disappear. suddenly he doesn’t care that he owes money to anyone, there’s no chance to get you back. “does he treat you well? are you happier?”

“i’m not seeing anyone new, nam-gyu.”

“you shouldn’t be playing games if you’re pregnant. you could hurt yourself or the baby.”

despite his own lack of rationality when making choices, he was always so careful with you.

you threw any rationality you had and spit out the truth,

“it’s yours.”

now he was looking at you like you were stupid, “what?”

“the baby. it’s yours. you’re the father. i’m carrying your child.” he blinks at you slowly, taking in the information you just dropped on him,

“it’s.. you’re carrying.. our baby?” nodding your head, you step forward and take his hand and guide it to your stomach.

“after we broke up, i started to feel sick so i took a test. i didn’t know what to do, i couldn’t find a good job near my place, moving is too expensive, i was afraid to reach out to you. i owe the hospital so much because i’m paying by month but i ran out of savings and then this guy came up to me and gave me a card to make money.”

by the end of your ramble, nam-gyu pulled you in for a tight hug, smoothing your back with his hand. softly, he coos into your hair, “i would’ve never denied you. had you called, we could’ve figured this shit out together.”

you argued back, “how was i supposed to know that? you promised me over and over again but nothing changed!”

despite missing the warmth, you create a distance by pushing him away from you, although it’s no use given how he holds your arms but keeping the distance out of respect for you.

“i have changed! i’m here, i’m going to win that money and i’ll take care of you.” his eyes plead, the hands that hold you start to shake.

“you’ll win it? alone?” the logic hits him and he laughs at his own idiocy, “we’ll win, i’ll make sure we both get out of here. we can put the money together. it’ll be more than enough for us to start over!”

you’re skeptical, sure the chance of winning is there but.. is your trust in him still there?

“if we win-“

his hands move from your arms to your stomach, “when baby, when we win-“

your eyes roll at his optimism, “if and when we win, you need to quit drugs. cold turkey. no excuses, no more second chances. if you so much as look at a drug, i will kill you and raise this kid alone, do you understand me?”

he mocks a soldier, hand to his head and stance straight, “yes ma’am!” the pose barely lasts as he starts to giggle, following you to your bed while holding onto your hand.

there was more to come, you had a feeling that much money wouldn’t come so easy, but things felt just a tad easier with him.

© ihrthoney. reblogs & feedback are greatly appreciated𑁤

[judesmoonbeauty]

𝕁𝕦𝕕𝕖 𝕁𝕒𝕫𝕫𝕒'𝕤 𝕄𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪: ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟞 - ℍ𝕚𝕤 𝕊𝕚𝕕𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪

This is a fan translation only. Please expect grammatical errors and translation inaccuracies. This is a full translation. Creative liberties are taken for characterization and smoother translation process. Cybird owns everything. Re-blogs are appreciated, but please do not post my translation elsewhere. Thank you for your support! ☾.

Both chapters 6 & 7 discuss snippets of Jude's past records. If you'd like to read the event in full, then please check out my collab translation here.

It’s a member-based club where upper-class woman gather every night.

When I went undercover, I found out it was nothing more than social club where “Gentlemen” waited upon women.

In order to obtain the title deed to some land, I played an absurd game, but the game ended at the last minute…..

Kate: Haa, Haa…..Wh-what about Ellis?

Jude: Don’t worry, he’ll make it out easy.

I ran out of the mansion with Kate, breathing heavily as I stood next to her in a nearby garden.

(Whatta farce. How pointless.)

Kate: But is that all right, you missed your chance to claim the land deed...

Jude: Pretty sure that noble lady’s in the habit of cheatin’ ‘n other things.

“You’re fooling around with young men again!”

By the comment made by the husband who had burst in, it’s clear that woman is a repeat adulteress.

Jude: Got loads t’shake her down with, I’ll just take it later on.

Kate: I see. What can I say, that’s cunning of you….Heh, hehe….

Jude: Ha, what? Yer laughin’ outta the blue’s creepin’ me out.

Kate: I mean, I never expected my first Crown mission in a while to end like this.

Kate: Plus….Pff…..Jude your fake personality’s something you’d see in a dream!

My eyes were drawn to Kate as her shoulders shook and she contained her laughter with the back of her hand.

(That’s the first time seein’ such defenseless laugh.)

When I picture the expressions of the woman called Kate, an angry face or a confused face comes to mind…..

(Yeah. There hasn’t been a situation where I’ve seen this girl laugh since we met.)

(……Regardless.)

Jude: Huh…..so ya can laugh like that?

Kate blinked several times and looked away bashfully.

Kate: That’s because you’re usually saying things that make me angry, Jude.

Jude: ‘Cause ya ain’t a bit hateful it’s cute.

Kate: C-Cute….?

Kate’s cheek turn a pale crimson, like they had caught fire.

(The hell’s that innocent reaction?)

Jude: Ha, so foolish. Yer a damned fool if yer pleased with that rubbish.

Kate is a woman who’s terrible at giving up, stubborn, and lives by following her heart.

(That’s why)

You’ve stepped too far into darkness.

Jude: Ya got flowers for brains, so time to stop goin’ to places like that.

Jude: You’ll end up losin’ everythin’, lookin’ all kinds of pitiful ‘n humiliated.

Kate: Thanks for the advice, but don’t worry, I won’t be going back!

(Oh, really?)

Kate said self-satisfied, then tilted her head asking herself a question.

Kate: Anyway, the club turned up clean, so Crown doesn’t need to condemn it, right?

Jude: Yeah it’ll be left alone, whether that stupid place’s ‘round or not, it ain’t for better or worse.

It’s rare for a mission to end in such carefree manner.

(This world’s overflowin’ with revoltin’ things…..)

[Flashback]

Jude: ….Argghh, why’s this happenin’ to me?

Jude: I…..hate this, I….resent this, This is….pathetic.

Jude: Even if I regret it….it’s too late.

Jude: Haha…….really….

Jude: …..It’s funny how miserable I am….

[Flashback ends]

Jude: ‘Sides….it’s better than buyin’ ’n playin’ with women for their bodies, innit?

Although the words I grumbled probably didn’t reach Kate.

I changed the subject before my shitty past that I don’t even want to remember is touched.

Jude: Oh, forgot to ask ya somethin’ important.

Kate: Something important? What is it?

Jude: Which one was the lady gonna choose in the end?

Kate: That’s….

I don’t care about this girl’s feelings or anything.

“Gentleman” - It’s just losing to a weak man who’s kept by a woman is nauseating.

That’s all it is.

(…..Ha, what’s that look?)

Kate’s eyes darted around like an idiot.

The look on her face told me exactly who she was going to choose.

(Ya shouldn’t be in a place like this after all.)

The darkness is unsuitable for a woman who can’t even conceal her emotions.

Jude: Woman’s so easy t’read it ain’t even funny.

Kate: I haven’t told you the answer yet!

Jude: Yeah, yeah, foolish ‘n cuuute. I’m goin’ home.

As I started walking, the pitter-patter of Kate’s footsteps trailed behind me.

The “fairytale keeper’s” unjust contract was to be for one month.

(…..Get out of this darkness quick, princess.)

(And then forget all ‘bout it.)

Although, I feel like it would be boring,

If I no longer hear the sound of desperate footsteps chasing me.

[Main Story Master List] [Chapter 7]

T/L: "That's all it is." Sure it is bruh. She's already infected you.

Dividers: @.natimiles

Tags list: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @velisle @nateko @greatwitchsongsinger @injudescoat @aeyumicore @complexivelovely @cosmowgyral @lunaaka @rosalyne08 @8the-perfect-lie8 @voydsoul @goustmilk @kraiyne

If you wish to be added (+18 YO), or removed from my translations tag list, please let me know!

[morganakang444]

𝑑𝘰𝑛‘𝘵 ℎ𝑎𝘵𝑒 𝘵ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑒𝑟 || 𝑙𝑒𝑒 ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑔 (𝑝𝘵 2) ౨ৎ

꒰ ꒱ྀི lee heeseung x fem!reader

☆゙ ↳ main masterlist

☆゙ ↳ prev | next

☆゙ ↳ synopsis: you don‘t want me? fine. the two of us can play that game.

the heartthrob of the campus had finally set his eyes on y/n. she was going to be his next victim, to fall for him and assume she can fix him moments before she finds herself ghosted. but y/n knew all too well…too bad she only captures heeseung‘s heart after beating him at his own game. that’s when she learns: don’t hate the player. hate the game.

☆゙ ↳ wc: 3828

☆゙ ↳ genre/warnings: a lil smutty again (y/n touches herself lol), cursing, maybe a bit rushed (?), y/n is still a virgin and heeseung is turning into a simp lwk, drinking, partying, mentions of sex, if i missed anything lmk!!

☆゙ ↳ an: i‘m super nervous to post this because i‘m rlly hoping it lives up to part one!! (i am scared that is my peak if u can‘t tell.) i‘ve had most of this written already so this is why it came so fast. part three will be taking a little while lol also i had to mention the nostalgic jackson wang party!!

in the car, karina basically dragged y/n into the passenger seat, a concerned look on her face. "are you okay?? hee didn’t give me any time to ask what happ—"

y/n waved her hand, signaling karina to stop talking. "i‘m fine. i was just getting harassed by some guy and heeseung helped me out." she placed her hand down, a smirk forming on y/n‘s face. "but your plan worked quicker than i thought it would—heeseung admitted to wanting me. and it was a real, raw, just—genuine thing that came from his mouth." y/n chuckled. "pretty soon i‘ll have to leave him hanging." she smiled, satisfied.

karina‘s mouth was agape in disbelief, blinking at y/n‘s words. "this fast? i knew playing hard to get was the best shot," karina snickered, nudging y/n‘s shoulder before starting up her car.

and as they started driving y/n remembered who karina was with before coming here; yunjin.

"how‘s it going with yunjin?" y/n noticed karina‘s grip on the steering wheel tighten.

"i don’t even know if there is anything going on with yunnie. we‘re together and we fuck and talk or go to sleep a little together before one of us has to leave." she frowns.

"so…a situationship with your ex, hm?" y/n asks sympathetically.

karina only nods. "but i‘ll be over it soon. i‘ll meet another cute girl or maybe a nice, manly guy and i‘ll probably forget all about her."

but y/n knew karina too well—she could never forget about her girlfriend since junior year of high school. she placed her manicured hand on karina’s round shoulder.

"you love her, huh?"

karina gave y/n a saddened smile. "i think you know that answer…"

"let’s go shopping and get your mind off this, hm? we can go home after and order takeout and watch a movie, yeah?"

karina nods, grinning appreciatively at y/n.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

sitting in their small dorm room, y/n‘s ipad was setup against a pillow on karina‘s bed. with blankets and pillows under them, on them, and all around them, karina and y/n sat against y/n‘s bed, a low, long, tv tray over their laps, snacks and food all over it, the girls picking up and eating whatever like it was a buffet—sushi, cheeseburger sliders, jellies, puddings, fried rice, mac n cheese, sodas, and pizza rolls on plates in front of them as their eyes were glued to '10 things i hate about you' playing on the tiny screen in front of them.

y/n was slurping down a jello cup when karina‘s phone pinged. she licked burger grease off her fingers before she wiped it on her old, oversized pajama shirt and picked up her phone.

"it‘s sunoo…he wants to know if you and i wanna come to jackson wang‘s party tomorrow night." karina says as she reads sunoo‘s message.

y/n thinks. "isn’t jackson the president of the frat he‘s in? is it going to be in the frat house?" she blinks.

karina nods. "yeah, it will be. i know you don’t like parties so we d—"

"let’s go." y/n smiles. "i never go out. and i don’t want you to stay home because of me."

karina raises a surprised brow. "you sure?"

y/n nods, sounding assured of her decision. "yeah. i wanna."

"okay, i‘ll tell sunoo.." karina smirks, happy her best friend was finally expanding her horizons.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

all through that next day, y/n rushed through her classes, not paying much attention to anything at all—except for the wonders filling her mind about her first real party.

it was ridiculous—y/n felt like a high schooler all over again.

however, that whole day y/n hadn’t bumped into heeseung once. she felt a strange sense of disappointment swell up inside of her…but she didn’t know why. and as she shook that feeling off as her last class of the day ended, she darted home to get ready with karina tonight.

"pink…pink…or…pink! 'kay…" karina sighed, helping y/n choose an outfit for later tonight.

"what‘s wrong with pink, hm?" y/n teased, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"pink isn’t sexy…" karina pulls out a silk, baby pink mini dress with a thin, white trim around the end and around the v-neck cleavage. she narrowed her eyes, analyzing the article of clothing deeply.

"this can make due…" she speaks, fingers running the material of the slit on the dress intently.

"with what?" y/n tilts her head.

"those little white heels you have—the kitten heels that are open toed. anddd…" karina trails off, grabbing y/n‘s little jewelry holder hanging in her closet. "these little pearl earrings, and your thin little pearl necklace." karina holds up a matching set of tiny dangly pearl earrings and a necklace. she lays it out on y/n‘s bed, shoes going underneath on the floor.

"and we‘ll curl the ends of your hair…and keep the makeup light, but add some glitter, hm?" karina came close to y/n, touching all over her hair, fingers running through and eyes scanning over the girl‘s soft locks.

"yes ma‘am." y/n salutes with a playful smirk before standing up. karina gives y/n‘s ass a little smack, earning a small squeal from the girl who was soon laughing.

"now go shower, you stink." karina teased.

y/n playfully scoffed before grabbing her stuff and going to the dorm showers.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

and even in the shower, y/n could only think of all the fun she was about to have as she stood under the warm water, feeling the warmness cascade down her body.

all the possibilities ran through her head—who would she dance with? would she get black out drunk and make out with someone? what if she slept with someone and lost her v card at a frat party?

y/n sighed, her mind trailing off to what it‘d feel like to finally have sex for the first time. how it‘d feel to have a man hold her close and slide in and out of her tight heat as he moaned her name with each thrust. how a man would leave a trail of hickeys down her neck and breasts as he fingered her, curling his digits inside of her warm, wet pussy, hitting the sweet spot inside of her that made her see stars.

y/n sighed in frustration, leaning her head back against the cold shower tile wall, one of the rare moments of arousal taking over her system, flowing through her veins so sweetly, making her pussy start to drip.

swallowing in defeat, y/n‘s hand traveled down, inching closer and closer to her core, the soft pads of her fingers finding her aching clit, rubbing it in tight little circles, her mouth forming an 'o' shape as her back arched off the tile wall in pleasure. y/n‘s eyes fluttered shut as small sighs left her lips, her fingers moving in a faster rhythm, her mind swarmed with thoughts of being fucked…the feeling of a hand wrapped around her throat as she was pounded into—y/n was never thinking of a specific person, to be honest. in her imagination, the man fucking her didn’t exactly have a face, (but did have a banging bod.) until her hands were moving faster and rougher over her clit, rubbing the swollen nub as she got closer and closer to her peak, her breathy moans echoing off the shower walls…and in her mind there was finally a face. one so unexpected she suddenly pulled back her hand, ripping her orgasm away from herself as her eyes flew open in shock.

why the fuck did lee heeseung‘s face appear in her mind??

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

after her shower, y/n could only stare into her own eyes through the bathroom mirror, a mix of disgust and confusion welling up inside of her.

she combed her wet hair before putting it up in a clawclip, slipping her white towel off her freshly washed and shaved body. she sighed, shuffling her playlist as she applied her skincare to her baby soft face.

all she could think about as she rubbed in her expensive serums and moisturisers was why? why did she have to think about heeseung of all people?

she wasn’t even attracted to him like that—but all y/n could do was brush it off as the fact that it was a mere flashback to the night two weeks ago that left heeseung hanging. she wouldn‘t cave in now. but heeseung was right about one thing.

y/n‘s hands were not doing the job right.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

"y/n! are you ready?" karina called from right outside their shared dorm room, coming back from the bathroom down the hall.

"yeah…" y/n reluctantly spoke, not too sure if she liked her appearance or not. she was standing in front of her full length mirror propped against her bed, looking at her body from all angles.

karina slowly walked inside, a dramatic gasp leaving her lips as she covered her mouth, staring at y/n.

"you look so hot, y/nnie!!" she squealed, coming up behind her best friend, hugging her from behind and resting her chin on the crook of y/n‘s smooth shoulder.

"you‘re so beautiful." karina smiles affectionately, her tiny purple dress touching y/n‘s. and y/n did look beautiful. her curves were perfectly accentuated by her little pink dress, her soft shoulders on full display thanks to the thin spaghetti straps. her white kitten heels showed off her freshly painted pink toenails, her moisturised skin glowing naturally.

y/n smiled softly, locking eyes with karina. "you really think so?"

karina nods. "the most."

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

it was a short drive to the s.a.e frat house which was already crowded by 11pm. y/n nervously stepped out of karina‘s car, a shaky sigh exiting her glossed lips. taking note of y/n‘s nervousness, karina reached her hand out and took y/n‘s, giving her a reassuring squeeze and a matching smile.

"don’t be scared. this‘ll be fun!" karina pulled y/n inside the huge house, the blaring music growing louder once they stepped closer and closer inside.

upon entry in the dimly lit house, it seemed like everyone from uni was there. the only lighting was shitty leds that could barely illuminate anything, and there were people making out or grinding on each other to the music in every corner of at least four rooms. y/n adverted her gaze, not wanting to feel like she was watching a live action porno about to unfold.

following karina through the crowd, y/n kept her head low, not exactly wanting to draw any attention to herself. this wasn’t really the first party moment she was imagining.

"wanna take a shot?" karina asks, now in the kitchen where the liquor was stored. y/n shakes her head. "one of us has to drive." she laughs dryly, earning a shrug from her best friend. "and that will be you," karina says in a lively manner before downing a shot. she slammed the tiny glass down on the white counter, her face contorting into disgust and eyes squeezing shut.

"fuck, that’s strong…" karina exhales, her matte lips forming an 'o' shape. y/n could smell the alcohol on karina‘s breath, making y/n slightly nauseas.

karina opened her eyes, and looked around. just then, her dark brown eyes landed on a familiar figure with shoulder length red hair and a tiny black dress. karina could tell right away it was the love of her life, huh yunjin.

"there she is, y/n…" karina holds y/n‘s arm, making her look towards yunjin‘s direction, her slender, black polished finger pointed directly to the redhead.

"call her over," spoke y/n encouragingly, trying to calm down the dark haired girl.

"what if she doesn’t want to? what if she doesn’t want to see me in public? what if s—"

y/n rolled her eyes, cutting off karina‘s nervous string of rambles, hollering yunjin‘s name, making her look at the pair. karina shyly hid behind y/n as if the girl were her shield. and as y/n motioned for yunjin to come over, karina lightly smacked y/n‘s bare arm. "what are you doing?" karina whisper yelled, unaware her ex girlfriend was making her way over to them right now.

without a word, y/n dragged karina out from behind her frame. karina stumbled, practically getting shoved into yunjin.

"umm…hi…" karina shyly spoke, adverting eye contact in contrast to her confident ex who stood in front of her.

"oh don’t act like you don’t know me…" yunjin teased, sipping out of her red solo cup as she tucked a strand of karina‘s long, curled hair behind her earring plated ear.

"wanna hang with us? we‘ve both missed you. i know she‘s seen a lot of you lately," y/n started, touching karina‘s shoulder, "but i haven’t." she playfully pouted.

yunjin smirks, softly chuckling.

"yeah, i don’t have anyone else to see." she came closer to karina, a look of enjoyment on her face at making the younger girl nervous.

y/n smiled at karina, knowing her little scheme has worked.

karina grabbed another shot, downing it quickly to subdue her nerves.

"um…wanna dance?" karina asks, her gaze falling on and off of yunjin.

"sure. i‘m always down to dance with you, rina." yunjin grabbed karina‘s hand. "you coming y/n?"

y/n shook her head. "i‘m okay, i‘ll join later—you two should get your time alone."

and with that, yunjin took karina to some other room, leaving y/n alone in the kitchen.

y/n made her rounds, talked to some people from her classes and danced a little with some guy…but she grew bored and craved time with her best friend.

"karina!" y/n called out, walking around the party. moving past people, mumbling 'sorry' and 'excuse me' a few times, her pale eyes darted around, in search for karina or at least yunjin.

but to no avail, y/n grew worried once she reached upstairs and walked in every bedroom, six out of nine containing people having sex—and karina nor yunjin were in none of them.

with an exasperated sigh, y/n pulled out her phone, looking for someone—anyone to call. and her eyes fell on one contact. heeseung.

y/n could call anyone else—annie from history class was here, her friend robin, even joshua would have come to help her. but for some reason, she really wanted to call heeseung…

pressing the contact name, she hit the call option, sighing shakily as she put her phone up to her ear, leaning up against an upstairs wall.

"hello?" y/n heard heeseung‘s voice through the line after a few rings, and faint music in the back. the same music as the party—was he here? probably. everyone else was.

"heeseung? it’s y/n…i need you…" she said with a defeated tone, laced with desperation.

"ahh, finally come to your senses, huh? but i wanna take you out first. i don’t want you to be just a hook u—"

"no, heeseung! not like that!" y/n placed her hand on her head, growing irritated. "i lost karina and yunjin. i‘m upstairs…can you help me out?"

heeseung chuckled. "on my way."

y/n hung up, placing her hands on her face as she crouched against a wall, waiting for her knight and shining armor.

within a few minutes, a hand tapped y/n‘s shoulder, and she looked up to see the person she needed most right now. she flashed a smile of relief, taking heeseung‘s extended hand and pulled herself up.

"thank you, heeseung…" she mumbled, fixing her dress.

heeseung‘s eyes trailed y/n‘s figure up and down…but not with the usual lust in his heart and eyes like he felt with other girls. there was warmth spreading through him like a flower slowly blossoming. something more of affection coursed through his veins. he could only think of her as beautiful—alluring, even instead of sexy. in this moment he would rather have held her in his arms and stroked her hair as she fell asleep instead of fucking her. and that was unusual for him.

"yeah, yeah…come on. i‘ll take you home. you sober?"

y/n nodded. "i was supposed to take the girls home."

heeseung led the girl downstairs and past the crowd, out to his car.

"i‘m glad you chose to call me…" he smiles, opening the passenger door for y/n.

y/n looked down bashfully as she got in, waiting for heeseung to get in the driver‘s seat before replying.

"i guess i figured i could count on you." she replied, putting on her seatbelt.

heeseung looked at y/n affectionately. "that means a lot to hear, you know."

and in that moment of vulnerability, both of them could have seen the truth hidden behind their eyes. the deep meaning sodden with verity. even if neither of them wanted to admit it.

but y/n only looked away. she nodded slowly, biting the inside of her lip to hold back a small smile that was about to form on her lips.

heeseung could only smirk a bit at her shy reaction, not used to her being such a timid little thing.

and with that he drove, both of his hands on the wheel. glancing towards y/n, he saw her delicate hand resting on the console between them, her attention looking out the window towards the night lit sky, and the city around them illuminated by a cascade of lights.

but heeseung was bold. when he looked at y/n, he no longer saw some girl he was chasing. he no longer saw a target to be shot at and claimed. but he didn‘t know why. he didn‘t know what this feeling he held for her exactly was…love? a twisted type of lust?

he carefully brushed his big hand against her own, giving her a chance to pull away if she didn’t want this. when she didn’t, heeseung intertwined his fingers with hers, caressing her knuckle with his thumb.

heeseung didn‘t know why he wanted to hold y/n‘s hand. he could only tell himself this was the next step to getting y/n in his bed. but as heeseung‘s gaze flickered over to the h/c girl beside him, he couldn’t shake the feeling he wanted more than a quick fuck with her. in this moment, he would rather stay like this with her, her tinier hand enveloped in his warm one, her tired frame gazing out the window towards the stars in front of them.

but heeseung could never admit to real feelings for a woman. especially one who left him so humiliated those couple of weeks ago in his dorm room.

the rest of the car ride was of pure silence—the comfortable one, though. the feeling of heeseung‘s calloused thumb contrasting y/n‘s smooth hand set aside her nerves until they got back to her dorm.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

"you know…i meant what i said over the phone.." heeseung said as the pair approached y/n‘s dorm room, looking down towards his feet before his gaze met y/n‘s.

y/n leaned against her dormitory door, her eyes squinting slightly in confusion. "what did you say..?"

heeseung smirked slightly, leaning his arm against the metal doorframe, towering over y/n. "when i said i wanted to take you out." his smirk turned into a smile of tenderness, letting her feel just how much he meant it.

"oh really?" y/n teased. "i thought you didn’t do dating.." she licked her lips, holding back a satisfied smile.

"nah..i don’t. but there’s something about you that makes me want to." heeseung tucked a strand of hair behind y/n‘s ear. "and i‘d like to figure out why.."

"okay." y/n shrugged. "then take me out. surprise me." she smiled a bit, leaning forward.

heeseung‘s hand traveled up to cup y/n‘s soft, unblemished cheek as he nodded, running the pad of his thumb over her skin.

"whatever you want, my girl.." his words were soft, and his eyes looked around y/n‘s face, his head coming closer to hers. "can..can i.." his words trailed off, but the intention was hung in the air.

y/n didn’t answer, instead she pressed her fingers to the boy‘s lips as he leaned in, biting her lip slightly, her smirk teasing as ever. as much as she was starting to like heeseung, as much as she would love to brush her lips against his in a fiery blaze if passion, she didn‘t. she needed to stay true to herself and her bet with karina. where was the fun in giving in now?

"nuh uh uh…" y/n taunted, tapping his lips with her manicured finger in rhythm with her coos. "i don’t kiss before a first date, heeseung." y/n licked her glossed lips, looking heeseung up and down in satisfaction, knowing she had him right where she wanted him as he let out a frustrated sigh onto her fingers.

"you‘re not slick if you think taking me on a date will help you get into my pants…" y/n tutted, crossing her arms.

heeseung only snickered, leaning slightly back from y/n.

"fine. i‘ll take you out, and i won’t fuck you. how about that? i‘ll show you just how serious i am okay?" heeseung smiled almost cockily, hiding the desperation behind his voice, wanting her to accept his plea.

y/n bit her lip ever so slightly, looking heeseung up and down provokingly. she shrugged. "sure. i‘ll go out with you." she spoke nonchalantly, a small smile of pride forming on her face as heeseung‘s ego deflated, and he let out a small "yes!" whisper, quickly clearing his throat and regaining his composure. "uh, okay, yeah. cool. can’t wait to see you y/n…" heeseung grinned. "how does this saturday sound?" heeseung swallowed, revealing the anticipation building up inside of him.

"sounds perfect," said y/n confidently, nudging heeseung away from her.

"now if you excuse me, i’m sleepy." y/n yawned, grabbing her keys from her mini purse and starting to unlock her door. "goodnight, heeseung…" she smiled sleepily.

"goodnight, pretty girl.." heeseung whispered. "i‘ll call you tomorrow." he planted a chaste kiss to y/n‘s smooth unblemished cheek before sauntering off down the hall.

as y/n entered her dorm and got herself unready as she shuffled her main playlist. she could only sigh every so often, wondering what heeseung’s true intent behind this date was. she couldn’t figure out why it mattered so much to her if she was being played right back—was it her ego being too big, not wanting to be toyed with the same way she was toying him? or was it because she thought she was seeing through some sort of act with his excitement and affection. but the deeper y/n thought about it, she didn’t sense any deception on heeseung‘s end. everything about him was so…genuine in a sense. but y/n has dealt with boys like this in the past, who thought they could hit and quit her—and when she rejected their advances she was met with a blocked number the next morning. however the difference between those boys in high school and lee heeseung is that he doesn’t give up that easy.

and for y/n, the real game was just about to start.

｡𖦹°‧ taglist:

@tsukikourito

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@yohanabanana

@cloud-lyy

@heeheelee

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[kate20martin]

‎₊˚ 𓂃˖ kate martin headcannons 𝜗𝜚 ｡˚

summary — kate martin headcannons… yippee yippee yippee!! :P

warnings — nsfw headcannons ahead! mentions of oral, strap on, making out, basically just smut the second half.

authors note — cause i love kate martin! this is just for funsies. i should have another kate martin x reader out soon. enjoy!! <3

word count — 2794.

sfw

headcanon one — sharing things is definitely her love language! if she can’t find something of hers… she’s borrowing it from you.

you guys had been getting ready to go out for a nice dinner with kate’s family. you had picked out a nice dress and kate had stuck with a button-up and a pair of black jeans. you were in the bathroom of your guys' shared apartment, leaning against the counter as you applied your lip gloss in front of the mirror. kate came around the corner and peeked her head in, a small smile on her face. “hey, have you seen my chapstick anywhere?” she muttered as she let out a small breath before stepping into the bathroom.

kate always had a habit of losing things. you rolled your eyes slightly before smiling and digging into one of your essential bags with all of your lipsticks, chapsticks, and lip glosses in it. “no, i haven’t. just use mine.” you spoke softly as you turned towards her and held out the small stick. her smile brightened as she took it from your hands before popping the cap off and applying it to her lips. you watched her with such love through the mirror — your smile never fading.

she rubbed her lips together before putting the cap back on to the chapstick and placing it in the bag you had taken it out of. you turned towards her with a small laugh as she leaned forward and placed a small kiss on your lips which you returned. “perfect,” she muttered before disappearing somewhere in the apartment. you rolled your eyes before leaning closer to the mirror and reapplying your lip gloss. again.

headcanon two — she likes to send you little facebook mom selfies whenever she travels for away games. and you find them so cute. (you sometimes post them on your private story on snapchat just to embarrass her.)

you were sitting in one of the chairs in the main library, headphones on your head as you typed away at your computer. studies had been kicking your ass. you let out a small sigh as you deleted, typed again, and then redeleted everything. you mumbled something to yourself before your phone buzzed beside you. a small smile formed on your lips as you knew exactly who it was. kate. they were traveling to connecticut for the final four tournament and you couldn’t make it. but you wished you could’ve. you glanced down at your lock screen as it was a picture of you and kate before reading the notification.

kate <3 1 attachment. your smile grew wider — if that was even possible. you clicked on it and typed in your password quickly. and when the screen refreshed, there she was. the usual picture. she was sitting in her hotel bed back against the headboard, a smile on her face and the angle was horrible. you always had a habit of teasing her when it came to these things. she always took the cutest pictures but you couldn’t help but laugh. it had been a tradition for kate to send you a selfie while she was traveling.

imessage

today 6:45pm

you

kate, baby…PLEASE choose a different angle. you look silly. 😭

read 6:49pm

kate <3

just say you hate me.

read 6:53pm

headcanon three – some people say she’s the big spoon but i’m gonna have to disagree… the girl is DEFINITELY the little spoon and there is no doubt in my mind.

you had just done your skincare routine and the digital alarm clock on your guys’ nightstand read 10:05pm. you had classes in the morning which meant you got up around 6:15am. you were laying with your back facing the door, your hair splayed out on the pillow underneath you. your chest began to rise and fall as you fell into a deep sleep, and you were sleeping peacefully. that was until you stirred and woke up to kate with her arms wrapped around your waist and her head resting on your side. her body was scrunched up slightly, her breathing soft as her eyelashes fluttered. she was just too cute.

headcanon four – kate always came home after basketball and took a shower just to get dressed and cook for you… she absolutely loves cooking for you. you worked ten-hour shifts whenever you didn’t have classes and she’d always make sure to pre-pack your lunch for you the night before. :,)

you let out a small breath as you stepped into the familiar atmosphere of your shared apartment with kate. you kicked off your tennis shoes and unclipped your badge from your scrubs before sitting it in the bowl on foyer table. you held your now empty lunch bag in your right hand as you had a fountain drink in your left. a small smile reached your face as the smell of food had finally hit you. and it was the best thing you could ever come home to. “hey, i’m home.” you breathed out as you took a small drip from your drink and sat it on the kitchen table. your footsteps were quiet as you approached kate who was standing in front of the stove as she finished cooking some pasta. your favorite. your arms wrapped around her waist as you pressed your cheek against her back. kate was wearing just a white t-shirt with her grey sweatpants and socks, her messy blonde hair loosely framing her face.

“hey, how was work?” she asked softly as she turned to face you her hands immediately finding your hips, her thumbs rubbing at the fabric of your scrubs. your arms dropped from her waist as you smiled up at her, letting out a small sigh. “some kid almost rocked my shit earlier as i was trying to give him his shot.” you spoke through a few laughs and you could see kate’s expression fill with amusement, a grin on her face. a small laugh escaped her lips as she let go of your hips and ruffled your hair. you scooted to the side to get a better view of the stove, a small gasp leaving your lips. “you’re making,” before you could speak, kate spoke up for you.

“pasta, your favorite.” she murmured as she kissed your temple, her lips lingering before she reached up to grab some seasoning from the cabinet. “you know me so well,” you spoke softly. and the two of you had the best night. it was great to come home to her after work.

headcanon five — she absolutely LOVES taking pictures of you for your instagram or when you guys are our at dates. she thinks you look amazing in anything you wear. she truly is whipped…

“here, i like this one.” “post this one!” “i’m gonna post this on my story.”

headcanon six — she yaps about you so much that her teammates have to tell her to shut up…. but on the down low, they actually think it’s super cute. and she lights up whenever you text her or call her. the simplest things matter to her.

kate had just got drafted to the aces and she had to fly out for training camp. it was night three and she was staying in this hotel. but she thought she’d talk to jada and gabbie for awhile so… she joined them on tik tok live. the camera took time but when kate appeared on the screen, jada and gabbie immediately smiled. “kate,” jada breathed out, a small pout on her face and gabbie was leaned against her shoulder. the first thing they noticed was that kate was smiling like a complete idiot.

“why are you smiling so big?” gabbie spoke with a small laugh and kate was shifting around and folding her clean clothes, her phone propped up on the nearest thing. it took a second but kate spoke, a small laugh passing her lips. “you know why i’m smiling so big.” and at the girls sentence the girls on the screen had laughed. they knew exactly why kate had been so smiley and the reason happened to be you. it always was. “what’d she do this time?” jada spoke through a smile as she took another drink from the cold can in her hand.

kate finished chewing a piece of food as she grabbed the phone and stood up from her bed. “she sent me flowers.” kate spoke softly, a small noise of excitement leaving her mouth. it took her a second but she ended up flipping the camera and revealed a nice bouquet of flowers. the flowers ranged from yellow to white to pink. they were so pretty. jada and gabbie shared a glance, jadas bottom lip poked out before she glanced back at the screen. “you guys are so cute, it’s actually sickening.”

bonus sfw headcanon — as much as she hates to admit it… she loves doing tik tok trends with you. especially the one trend with sabrina’s song. she hoisted you up onto her shoulder with no problem and would just smile at the camera like a dork. she’d do anything for you. a woman who’s jacked and kind. ;)

nsfw

headcanon one – kate absolutely LOVES when you ride her. whether or not its a strap or her thigh… she LOVES having you on top of her.

you let out a loud moan, the silicone of the strap sliding in and out of you. your hips were moving according to kate, her fingertips digging into your skin. kate’s lips were parted as she glanced up at you, her eyes fixed on your face as it contorted into pleasure. “god,” she breathed out as her eyes stayed fixated on you. you were moaning. and loudly. kate was good at getting you off whether or not it was because of a toy, her fingers, her mouth, or her thigh. and tonight was one of those nights. she didn’t know what it was but something about you on top of her, the way your hips moved and the way your face was morphed into pleasure. it turned her on majorily. “kate,” you moaned out, your hands resting on her chest as your thighs trembled. you were definitely overstimulated, kate had gotten you off twice. kate’s eyes glanced down between your legs, watching how easily the strap slid in and out of you.

“shh,” she murmured softly as she paused your movements before completely thrusting up into you, hitting every sensitive part of you. you let out a choked gasp followed by a loud moan as you leaned forward, your face buried in her neck. your whimpers and moans were muffled against her neck and you could faintly hear her moaning as she continued to thrust into you. “kate, fuck,” you moaned out again, your stomach clenching slightly. kate’s hands continued to rest on your hips, her lips parted. she knew you were close. “just let go, i’ve got you.” she whispered into your ear, her lips lingering on the side of your slightly sweaty head. she could get off just by pleasing you.

headcanon two – girls definitely a switch. tops need a little love too sometimes, right? her favorite thing ever is when you’d finger her… something inside of her just went crazy. she absolutely loved it.

kate let out a small whimper as she felt your middle and ring finger slip inside of her, how they curved and seemed to hit every spot just the way she wanted them too. she was sitting against the headboard of your guys’ bed, legs spread and knees bent, her hair was damp and her lips were parted. you were sitting next to her, your fingers slipping in and out of her with ease, her wetness coating your fingers in the process. your lips were attached to her neck, leaving soft kisses as if trying to sooth her. “right there,” she moaned out as soon as your fingers had curved inside of her the right way. god she was so whipped.

headcanon three – nudes girl, nudes girl, nudes girl! it’s a bit weird to think about but kate LOVES receiving nudes from you whether it be just of your boobs or a full body pic, shes saving them and putting them away in her hidden album on her phone… and they might work wonders for when shes at an away game.

away games. as much as kate loved basketball, she hated being away from you. kate was attached to your hip as she loved quality time. she had just showered and was getting ready for bed as she had team breakfast in the morning. she was rooming with sydney this trip who seemed to have already been asleep. kate was wearing a hawkeyes t-shirt and some shorts, her hair damp as she sunk down onto the bed. she was texting her mom about something when a notification from you. every notification from you still made her heart skip a beat. even if it was from snapchat, tik tok, she just wanted to hear from you. especially from so far away. so, without hesitating, kate clicked on the notification and chewed on her bottom lip. and lets just say – when she saw the picture – it was immediately saved and placed into her hidden folder. it was also sent with a little message that said “miss you, good luck at your game tomorrow <3” she is completely and utterly whipped for you.

headcanon four – quickies, quickies and more quickies! when kate is in the mood, she’s in the mood and she absolutely needs to fix it. and fast. and you can always tell when kate’s in the mood. you’ve gotten used to it.

you and kate were preparing for a movie night with jada, gabbie and caitlin. you had made multiples bowls of popcorn, had blankets set out, had the movie set to go. and you were standing in the kitchen of your apartment when you felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around your waist, and two hands rubbing at the soft skin of your sides. you rolled your eyes as you dumped a bag of candy into your teal bowl as kate’s lips attached themselves to your neck. and you knew exactly what she wanted. she let out a soft breath before resting her chin on your shoulder. “when will they get here again?” kate spoke, her voice soft but holding a hint of desperation. you let out a small laugh before pouring the last bag of candy into another bowl. “fifteen minutes,” you muttered as you snuck a piece of candy out and popped it in your mouth. and a smirk immediately reached her lips. and all she needed was fifteen minutes and a hair tie.

headcanon five — kate was usually soft with you and only ever got rough with you when you wanted it. but whenever she had bad practice or game days…. she is not stopping on you. (unless you say the safe word which would be something cute like “yellow” or “coconut”

she definitely had you bent over the bed, and she’s definitely using the strap. her hand was tangled in your hair, pulling and tugging at your hair every second she could kid. and all she could hear was the sound of your moans and how you would call out her name and that just fueled her more. and after she’s done, she’d run you a nice bath and take care of you.

headcanon six — two words : reverse cowgirl. kate’s favorite position and i see her as an ass girl definitely. so if she’s using the strap, she definitely has you in reverse cowgirl. save a horse, ride a cowboy.

kate was leaned back slightly against the headboard, her lips parted in a moan. it had been a long night and it was safe to say the both of you needed some sort of stress reliever. your hands rested on her thighs, just above her knees. your moans filled the air, your hair splayed on your bare back. kate’s hands drifted down to your ass, resting there as she helped you shift up and down onto the silicone toy. “fuck,” you whimpered out as you felt one of kate’s hands tangle into your hair, twisting it slightly before tugging on it.

her eyes were totally fixated on your ass and she could slightly see how your thighs were trembling as your back faced her. “you like that?” she breathed out and you did nothing but moan and whimper as you worked on top of her. and she loved it.

bonus nsfw headcanon — she likes to tie your hair up into a ponytail or she even braids it for you so she can have something to pull.

[crescenthistory]

hi darling carina! all the congratulations and love and hugs to you <3 can i request an explain for this concept — remus and reader with scars !! i thought it was so beautiful and i’d love to hear your thoughts on it :) thank youuu

my lovely lovely san<33 thank you so much darling! big hugs to you too 🤍🤍

✶・•・✦・•・✶・✶・•・✦・•・✶

i will EXPLAIN this post about remus and reader with scars

carina's 2k celebration

✶・•・✦・•・✶・✶・•・✦・•・✶

unfortunately, one of the key aspects of remus is immense self-loathing, specifically for his lycanthropy

i personally wouldn't necessarily call it insecurity, because it is less so about him being uncertain and anxious about his worth and more him being adamant that he is inherently bad

he's not unsure of it, remus knows that he is bad

(as readers, we know of course that he isn't; but this is his belief)

and his scars are the permanent physical manifestations of his affliction, so remus has felt nothing but hatred and shame for them his whole life

some of them were from the night he was attacked, but most were self-inflicted from his many moons where he lacked self-control and adequate care and support

he believes they are "proof" he is a monster

he will try to hide them and make them go away, while simultaneously not wanting to be too gentle with his scars either because he doesn't think he deserves it

scars being scars, any rough treatment will of course only make them more prominent

and so the evil cycle continues

however, as with most of what remus dislikes about himself, he would be confronted with his own mistreatment of himself if he loves someone who is scarred

if reader is also littered in scars in whatever capacity, he would never want to make them inadvertently feel the same shame he does

because you have nothing to be ashamed about?? (remus take your own advice)

there are so many ways to become a rather scarred individual, so this applies to many different readers

these can be scars from accidents, skin conditions, surgeries, mental health struggles, scarification, etc.

the last thing remus wants to do is harm the people he loves, whether that is directly or indirectly

(if your scars are somewhere only visible to a partner and he finds out a bit into your relationship, he would be kicking himself for not having been more sensitive and careful)

so when he is around someone else who is heavily scarred, especially if he loves them as deeply as he would you, he will have to catch himself

he will have to bite back cruel jokes on his own expense, because it will no longer just be his; he will have to quit rubbing them angrily in your presence; he will have to stop verbally or visually equate scars with monsters

to him, you are beautiful through and through

he is able to separate whatever trauma may have led to your scarring from the scars themselves and just see them as decorations on his ethereal partner – this is the point where bells may begin ringing in his head

if you are in a relationship, remus will do his best to help you with your own scar care, applying aloe vera, sunscreen and any specific medical creams you may require

and when you insist on putting some on him too, well, he has never been good at denying you anything

it would be a gradual process, but by loving someone with scars, remus would eventually be made to accept his own

to care for them, to not bash them at every opportunity, to look in the mirror and not see them spelling out "MONSTER" in white lettering

in general, i believe this is how remus begins his self-acceptance and self-love journey – he tries to shield his loved ones

lily hates her freckles? remus has to embrace his own, maybe even compliment them. james is insecure about his laughter? remus will make sure he laughs loud enough for him to not feel alone. sirius thinks his poor relationship with his family makes him unlovable? remus will learn to separate his father's beliefs from who he is and allow himself to be loved

you have scars? remus loves them with the same ferocity he loves you, even if that means being kind to his own

slowly but surely, remus is "tricked" into being kind to himself by being kind to the ones he loves

gods, i love him

[tonysbed]

Secrets I keep | Part 2

Max Fewtrell x Norris!reader

Lando Norris x Sister!reader

Daniel Riccardo x Norris!reader

summary: You and max have been dancing around your feelings for years but jealousy gets the best of us all..

not proofread

series masterlist | masterlist | previous | next

-

“I hate people” You say as you sit down at the small table in Daniel’s kitchen. He sets breakfast on the table and raises an eyebrow “I know, but why now?”

You turn your phone to him and show him the post that kika had send you earlier in the morning “Is it that unbelievable that two super attractive people are friends?” You chuckle at his words which makes him smile.

It slowly fades “Has lando said anything to you about it?” You shake your head but lean a bit back “Actually.. He did ask me yesterday what we are” Daniel raised an eyebrow “Really? And how did that go down?”

“Told him we’re friends. Then I asked why. He said he was just wondering and then told me to forget he asked” You shrug and take a bite of your breakfast.

“Hm. A tad weird no?” He says, sipping his coffee. You shrug “He can believe whatever he wants. And he’ll know where to find me if he has questions” Daniel nods and focuses back on his food.

“So, what is the plan for today?” You ask curious “Well, I’d say finally going to let you hold a koala and I got an invite to a party. You know these people too” He says with a smile. You smile wide “Koalas? Finally!” He chuckled “That’s the only thing you heard, hmm?”

“Absolutely. But yeah we can go. What kind of party?” He shrugged “just a party. nothing fancy” “no fancy clothes?” He shakes his head “Thank god. I didn’t pack fancy”

“As if we couldn’t just go and buy something” You roll your eyes at him “Finish up. I wanna see koalas” “Relax, they won’t run away” “You never know”

-

danielriccardo

liked by yn, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1m others

danielriccardo she finally got to hold a koala! and meet someone who looks happier than her 🐨👀

*tagged yn*

yn happier than me? more than you. You’ll get wrinkles from smiling this much

danielriccardo Im only smiling because you’re here

yn charmer much?

danielriccardo always for my favourite girl

yn dont make me blush, riccardo

danielriccardo 😁

user @/landonorris ???

user tagging lando as if he’s stupid

user he can read yk

landonorris are you ever coming home, or what? 😂

yn never. this place is to beautiful

landonorris daniel, i’d like my sister back

danielriccardo can’t do anything, sorry mate

user now why is he so close to her.. 👀

user sure, friends

user woman and men can be friends yall

*liked by yn*

-

yn added to their story

[caption 1: night out 💙 caption 2: I expected more patience from him.. he stood there for 20 minutes..]

franciscagomez girl, you’re telling me you two aren’t a thing??

yn yeah?

sure…

yn why is everyone so weird all of sudden. I’ve visited daniel alone before

that was different..

yn sure.

landonorris be safe please!!

yn will be. i’m with daniel, remember?

yeah that doesn’t calm me down..

yn ttyl 🫶🏻

yeah yeah 🤍

-

Drinks had been flowing for a good amount of time. It was safe to say that neither you nor Daniel were on the sober side. You stood next to him, while he was sitting on a chair, explaining something to the guy next to him.

One of your friends, who was rather clumsy, pushed you over and right into Daniel’s lap. You let out an surprised squeal and hold onto his shoulders for support. In an instinctive way, his arms wrap around you and leans against you in his drunken state.

You smile at the filming person who is laughing along you, while the friend who fell tried to get back up, which was even harder while laughing.

You helped her and watched them go to the bathroom. You now finally look at daniel, who’s lap you were still seated on. He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

“If you wanted to sit, you could’ve just said something.” You laugh and turn to face the rest of the group “You’re an idiot”

“I’ve been told before” He laughed and you felt his thumb caressing your side. You sigh and let your head fall on his shoulder “Should we go home?” You hum “My feet hurt” “Told you to go in sneaker” “Shut up” He chuckled “I’ll call a cab”

-

You stumbled into the door and steadied yourself on daniel’s arm. You kicked off your shoes “I’m so dead” “Me too. Sleep?” “100%. I’m eating tomorrow.”

He nods and kicks off his shoes as well. You flop down on the couch “that’s not your bed” “I’m to lazy to walk there” He laughed and stumbled over to you. Before he could say anything, you moved and held up the blanket, inviting him.

“Not the plan but sure” He laid down next to you, looking at you. You make him turn and lay on his chest “Definitely comfortable” You mumble before your knocked out cold.

He laughs softly before closing his eyes as well.

-

Lando had been kind of worried about you. He knew how daniel could get when he was drunk. He had stopped the aussie from doing stupid things before while partying. He let his head fall backwards with a groan.

Max looked up from his phone and sighed “Just text her” “So I’ll get the same answer as before? No thanks”

Max rolls his eyes “I’ll be on stream if you’ll need me.” He got up and walked into his streaming room. Lando stayed on the couch. It was already late in australia, he knew that. You should’ve been back already.

His phone lights up and he sees his mothers name.

‘Did you know about this?’ Attached was a picture of you, sitting on daniel’s lap.

He opened the message

Lando sets his phone down. The picture engraved in his mind. This was out of character for you. Or was it? Did he even know who you were? Were you as close as he thought?

His thoughts were interrupted by Max poking his head in the door “Should we order some food? I’m starving” Lando nods “Sure”

“What’s up with you?” Lando shakes his head “Still about Yn and daniel?” “There is a picture from tonight..” Max raised an eyebrow as lando picks up his phone and shows it to max.

Max’s fists clench at his sides and he has to restrain himself from a sarcastic comment “Oh”

“Why would she lie? I mean, she could’ve told me! I’d rather know from her than the internet” “I’m sure she’ll explain.” “I hope.” “Let’s order food and get your mind off a bit.”

-

You had woken up with a raging headache. You tried to sit up, which didn’t work. You look up and see Daniel’s sleeping face. You feel his arms still wrapped around you and pause. Why in gods name are you in this position?

You gently lift his arms and slip out of his arms. You get into the guest bedroom and put your phone down to charge. While your phone was charging, you got some ibuprofen, water and set some down on the couch table in front of sleeping Daniel.

Your phone finally turns on. You’re horrified when you see missed calls from your mom, and texts from various people. You check your moms messages first and freeze again. When did that happen? You on Daniel’s- The fall.

Oh great.

You pinch the bridge of your nose and try calling your brother. It was around midnight in the uk so you weren’t sure he was going to pick up.

“Yn?” “Lando! Oh thank god. Thought you might be sleeping” “no, i’m not. I can’t sleep actually” You hesitate “The picture-“ “I don’t wanna hear it. Why would you lie to me?” “Lando-“

“no. you go and say you’re friends and that’s what I see? Who are you trying to fool here?” “We are just friends!” “sure as hell doesn’t look like it”

“Lando. We were drunk. I was pushed and landed there” “Sure. Well, good to know you’re okay. I’m going to bed.” “Lando please” The line goes dead and you sigh. Great.

You go and call your mother, who was a bit more understanding but still didn’t quite believe the story you told her.

A knock on the door startled you “yeah?” Daniel slowly opened the door “You okay?” You nod “Headache is getting better. Did you take your ibuprofen?” He nods “So..there’s-“ “A picture yeah. Mom and lando already ripped me one.” He sighed and sat down next to you on the bed.

“It is so out of context! This is really annoying.” He nods again and looks at his hands. You stand up “I’m gonna go and eat something. You coming?” “Yeah”

This time, the kitchen was silent. Neither of you knew what to say after last night.

-

“So when is he supposed to be here?” You ask Daniel as you put on your hiking shoes “Any minute. Oscars quite on point when he’s supposed to be there.” In that moment the doorbell rang.

Oscar stood there, smiling softly “Good morning you two! How have you slept?” You roll your eyes “Fine. We really shouldn’t have had that many drinks tho” Oscar chuckled “Yeah I saw. What did Lando say?”

You three make your way downstairs “He wasn’t mad about the sitting in his lap thing at all. He thought I was lying tho when I told him we’re just friends, which isn’t a lie. We’re really not together. Nothing.” You say defeated.

“I’m sure he’ll calm down and you’ll get to talk to him.” You nod “I hope. I really didn’t lie to him” Oscar pats you on the back “It’ll be alright. He’s bark no bite”

Daniel laughs “That’s what i said too! He couldn’t be mad at you forever even if he tried. He loves you way to much” Oscar nods in agreement “He’s always talking about you. Sometimes I feel like I know you better than Lando” You chuckle at that.

“Ill text him once we get back”

-

yn

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, danielriccardo and 926.467 others

yn when in australia ☀️

*tagged oscarpiastri / danielriccardo*

oscarpiastri my hair oh god

yn I loved it 😂

danielriccardo yeah, i’m sure lily loved it too 😂

oscarpiastri I hate you both

yn 🧡

danielriccardo never going on a hike with you ever again

yn why? I made it to the end

oscarpiastri after laying on the floor and refusing to get up because you know who is ignoring your messages

yn now that is mean

danielriccardo no, just the truth

user Is lando ignoring yn??

user I would too if my sister would have something going on with my friend

user we don’t even know if they do

user have you not seen the pictures??

user and? you need to chill out. not every woman who has a guy as friend wants to date him

*liked by yn*

user see? she even liked the comment.

user the difference between daniel and oscar 😭

user daniel is so boyfriend coded

-

Daniel closed the trunk and made his way to the driver seat. You stare out of the window. Neither of you have actively acknowledged what had happened the night before. The hike with oscar took your mind off it all a bit but you were sure. You had to get to lando before it all gets to his head.

The ride to the airport was quiet. Only as you finally made it and Daniel got your stuff out of the trunk, he finally looked at you.

“Here” “Thank you” “I’ll bring you to your gate” You nod and you both walk in silence. It wasn’t as comfortable as it had been a few days ago.

As you arrived at your gate, you hug him. You stay like that for a few moments before you pulled away.

“yn?” “Daniel” He looks at you a bit nervous “We’re good, right?” You smile softly “Yeah, we’re good. I’ll text you when I land.” He nods “Have a good flight” You wave at him as you leave.

caption: Home sweet home 🇲🇨❤️

franciscagomez weren’t you supposed to be back in like 5 days?

yn lando is ignoring me because of the picture. There’s more to that.

oh..hope you guys figure it out. Gossip sesh w alex soon?

yn 100%

-

Max got a bit mean, oops. Let’s see what she’ll do and what Lando does next 👀

I’ll try posting every 1-2 days. I don’t do tag lists btw

[technofeudalism]

i will confess. i hate the Democrats for a lot of reasons. like a lot of reasons. i've posted about them excessively. but giving this donkey brained, pointless, chronically incorrect fool a platform is the perfect example of why i hate them so much. i am sorry to go on a cooking spree but i have to do it.

keep in mind, this is a person that the Democrats gave a microphone and speaking time at the DNC instead of a Palestinian speaker. here she is giving her speech, which was about representing the young voters of the United States.

this person is exactly what is wrong with the way the Democratic party thinks and operates. somehow, in spite of her ridiculous opinions, she is only 22 years old and therefore, she's held up by Democrats as an example of the party's "youth movement." what you're gonna see below is their messaging. they own the rhetoric as much as she does.

here's the message she's delivering today to her massive audience (326k followers) re: the outcome of the 2024 election and the events of the last 24hrs. think about all of the horrific things that Donald Trump has announced he's going to do, then look at what she is focusing on and how many views, likes and overall engagement it is getting, and the following of young adults she has tried to cultivate.

Olivia Julianna should not be considered your ally in any way. she should be chased away from politics completely. she should go away forever. the only reason she has any notoriety in the first place is because Matt Gaetz is a massive piece of shit who unnecessarily insulted her appearance repeatedly. that does not give her political credibility, no matter how much of a pedophile loser Matt Gaetz is.

at the end of the day, that kind of thing is extremely unnecessary because… i mean… there's no other way to say it. she's stupid. it's so easy to focus on that. whether it's naturally or she's monetizing it, i don't know. but for context, she is from Houston (pop 2.3m) and Joe Biden is from Scranton (pop. 75k), which was like 8x the size before his family moved away in 1953.

this is a person who was still advocating for Joe Biden to stay in the race the day before he dropped out and telling the media 2 weeks prior that a House Rep - the first to call for Biden to get out, who has served in the House 30** (not 20) years - that he should sit down and shut up. look at the timing on that.

he won re-election by 50 points by the way.

she never acknowledged that she was wrong the entire time about Joe Biden and still has not to this day. she said several awful things in defense of his Gaza policy that she has also never apologized for.

here is what she flipped to talking about when Kamala became the nominee. this is barely scratching the surface.

this was what she said about donating to DSA (yes they have their own problems, but people were looking for a way to organize) hours after Trump was declared the winner of the election and everything leftists have been saying for a year was validated:

as with all of my long posts, none of this is intended to be a dunk fest and if it comes off that way, it's not my intention. it's just getting increasingly difficult to talk about politics in this country without coming apart at the seams with contempt.

this is just a warning that if you see this seemingly "left-leaning" Gen Z influencer roasting conservatives on social media, just nod and keep scrolling. the less engagement this person gets, the better off we are. if the Democratic party is promoting them at all at this point, they should be endlessly questioned and critically examined.

[pluskylar]

my interpretations of all the love interests (kylar, whitney, sydney; part 1)

kylar

i always saw kylar as someone who was at their absolute limit before they met pc (or in care’s case, when they became obsessed with her). they had absolutely nothing else to live for before meeting pc. honestly i assumed that meeting pc saved their life, and that they were very very close to taking their own life right before their first meeting.

i always assumed this because of the degree of kylars obsession. i know that by the character itself kylar is a checklist of the stereotypical yandere but putting that aside for a second they also just have a really shitty life. once i learned about kylar lore i started to become even more interested in them than i already was before.

1) is an total outcast, not just in school but by the town itself

2) has no friends/ emotional support/ anyone to turn too

3) parents turned into monsters and they don’t leave them/ cares for them/ protects them

4) bullied relentlessly at school

learning that not only put their behavior into perspective for me but also made me assume that the one and only good thing they have going for them is pc. like really, what else does kylar have to live for? much unlike all the other love interests. without the pc sydney still has their faith and parent and the temple. whitney has their status. eden is lonely but their life isnt terrible. i guess you can argue that robin also only has the pc and that their life is also shitty but i would say that kylars life is a tad worse.

everything that we find out about kylar is just so gloomy, so my interpretation of them is that because of their lonely, miserable life they cling to pc because pc is their only lifeline. they cant help but be completely obsessed with pc because, their literally all they have. kylar’s intense obsession and paranoia stems from fear of losing the one good thing they have left.

whitney

oh brother. okay i’ll try to keep this one at a reasonable length. im a whitney hater through and through and ive stated multiple times on this blog but they are probably the li that is find most interesting. a semi whitney enjoyer. i see whitney as someone who cares about their social status more than anything else (and i mean ANYTHING) and will do anything to maintain it. also taking some inspiration from this amazing post.

ultimately my interpretation of whitney is someone who cares more about what people think about them (and their appearance) above all else. to quote another analysis, “affection is tainted in dolville. it is a display of control, given by force.” in my eyes and like how the op says, whitney is probably the biggest manifestation of this. whitney is definitely the outwardly cruelest and most violent to pc, but its not because they hate them. its also not only because they like them. they remind me alot of eden if eden never grew up and learned how to be somewhat normal.

whitney treats pc differently from all their other victims. i remember vrel saying in a q&a once where the question was something like “why does whitney like pc so much?” and vrel answered “theyre not sure”. i think a small percentage of their behavior of pc can be chalked up to whitney not understanding what exactly their feeling so they just decide to be violent cause it’s their default response to most things. the other majority percentage can be for a mixture of contradictory reasons.

1) whitney cares about their social status above everything else

2) in my interpretation, whitney has arrested development, is emotionally stunted and most times can only understand that they need to be on top for everything

3) whitney is genuinely into pc for reasons they don’t understand

all of these mix into how whitney behaves towards pc in game. i do think they atleast have enough self awareness to acknowledge that they do like pc, because they are capable of being normal or nice to pc on rare occasions. they can understand that pc is special from all their other victims but not identify why. nor do they really care about why because they probably would still torment them even if they understood.

last thing i would like mention is that on those rare occasions where whitney acts normal/ a little nice to pc are all when whitney is all alone. i dont go out of my way to encounter whitney so im not sure if they have normal interactions when their with their friends but the ones i’ve come across are when whitney and pc are the only ones present. the way i interpret this too, is because again whitney cares about their social status more than anything else, and peer pressure influences their actions. if no one else is there to see them do it, then yeah, they wouldn’t mind be being nice to pc once in red moon. (another thing that makes me assume this is their whole dismissal event which could be a post in of itself)

sydney

this one will be the shortest because i have a very solid image on how i see sydney. i think the reason why sydney is so malleable and impressionable is because theyre very lost when it comes to their image of themselves. not in a negative way, in a more neutral way, theyre constantly working and never really have any time for themselves.

i think the reason why unlike other li’s you can choose what sydneys becomes is because sydney doesnt have the willpower (or desire, even) to choose for themselves. theyre at such a lost for what to do for themself that they have to let someone else choose for them. and it’s not like pc is just anyone to them either.

pc is their dearest lover and its no wonder why they trust them so much. but to trust them to a degree where sydney would allow them to choose how to live their life makes me think that they must not know themselves very well, or that they love or even idolize pc so much that they have unwavering trust in them to know whats the best choice for them.

[thejokulatrix]

You're the first person to acknowledge I'm an ex radfem, though to be fair, I hate noting that as well.

I never had a peak trans moment - or rather, I was that moment, I guess? I couldn't accept that I wasn't only a woman or only a man, and spent years struggling to force myself into one box or the other and failing. In exhaustion I turned to the people who promised to make the whole entire question go away permanently. I spent most of my time in the detransitioner circle, because that was where I felt most comfortable. But as I spent years with radfems, reading and reciting their views, questions started to arise.

If dysphoria could be cured by ignoring it, why were the facebook groups constantly full of posts of people on the verge of killing themselves in misery? Why did none of them get better like what they promised?

If males are innately evil and females are innately weak, what is the point of feminism? Radical feminism is built on the concept nothing can change and the only way to be safe is to hide away and shun.

Who is this 'average woman' and why does every radfem insist on limiting themselves to her capabilities? Every time anything was brought up, like lifting weights, I'd get tons of replies that the 'average woman' can not do that, despite statistics like that not even being meant to be used in that context! Its supposed to track trends!

If sex is so solid, why does science keep showing how a lot of women have 'male' traits and vice versa. Back when I was around the radfems of this site rejected the sexed brain theory, but just a casual scan shows ya'll accept it now? Even today I keep finding new studied showing how our bodies are basically the exact same, just with different parts active due to hormones.

I'm not sure if yall still do this, but back in my day there used to be these lists of physical features only males and females have, and I became so insecure because my skull was male-coded! And that was with me being too white to understand the other racist undertones to those lists.

If you can not identify into an experience that is not your own, why is one of the base tenants of radical feminism political lesbianism?

All the books and essays write real pretty - but the only thing they do is take trauma response and spread them further, convincing you your fear response isn't paranoia, but a legitimate threat response, to the point a lot of radfems I knew on a one to one basis were afraid to leave their house.

All of the things I remember radfems screaming for is happening now, and just like trans people tried to warn them, it has led to awful things for everybody, to the point we now live in a fascist country. No I'm not saying radfems solely caused project 2025 and all that, I'm saying they worked real, real hard on adding to the fire that led to all this.

Honestly, despite this, I still stuck around far long than I should have. The breaking point was when I joined spinster and left the cozy little cache of tumblr rad feminism. See, here, yall are still somewhat seated in reality, and those who start to become extreme are ran out of the community. You reject polilesbianism and still try to be open to everybody (except trans people....). But elsewhere, that is far from the truth. I became somewhat known on spinster, which allowed me to see all of the community that had gathered there at once, and it terrified me. The transvestigators on twitter screaming how everybody around them is trans and personally out to get her and writing big long diagrams to show Marilyn Monroe was born a man? THAT is late stage radical feminism. That is what all of the people here are headed for if they don't get out. And the sheer vile hatred towards everyone was overwhelming. Those radical feminists were gloves off about how they thought detransitioners were disgusting mutilated freaks, how actual lesbians were predators who were basically men because they were attracted to women physically instead of it being a political movement, even the mobs against women who dared to have sons. There were women bragging about having nazi friends because they supported her transphobia.

I left 5 years ago. A lot of my initial post is aimed at the fears and doubts I had walking away, that I would be alone and shunned and considered tainted by anyone I met. I was used to the treatment already from radfems for not being a gold star lesbian and they had done everything they could to convince me the outside world hated me, only they would ever tolerate my presence, and I believed them. And to be fair, even when I got out, with my obligatory thread about how I was actually innately evil, a spy, not really a radfem, a male this whole time!, all the favourite mental disorders that every exiting radfem gets saddled with, I was still half rabid and not fit for civilization. I did not leave to go become a trans ally or whatever, but to just get away before I was permanently broken too. It took a lot of time for me to pull all those fears and self hatred and ignorance out of my head, and ironically, it took an abusive relationship to make me realize how far I had fallen as a person. Before radfeminism, I prided myself in how I was never afraid to step up and even physically fight anybody who tried to hurt me, considering myself immune to abuse because of that. But as one of the radfem's pet detransitioners, I had became small, meek, and afraid, and since she too was a radfem, she was good at tearing me down in ways I was still raw about. Even though I saw what was happening to me, I still reacted the way i had been trained to in my time in this community, slicing parts off of me and trying desperately to force myself into the shape she demanded I be so she'd stop hurting me, and it just grew worst and worst. She finally abandoned me after I stopped being fun to emotionally kick around, and then I felt as alone as I had feared I would be.

But. . . it was then, separated completely from the radfem sphere, with only myself and my beloved brother to pick me up, was I able to start to heal. Without the constant feedback of be afraid be afraid be afraid and going out and having good interactions, I began to relax. I found that my obnoxious judgements of people based off something as stupid as a misspeak on their part or not matching MY political purity or even their sex was stopping me from getting friends, so I dropped them. I gave them room to be people around me, and I found I loved them, and in return they loved me, and through their eyes, I came to love myself in a way I never had before. And when I approached people as people, instead of just the labels I was taught to straddle them with, I learned and it expanded my world so much. I truly hadn't realized how tiny and grey my world had become, how isolated and shut in I was. And now I'm engaged, I have things I do every week with my friends, I'm greeted when I go out and am invited to things. Hell, the depression I was convinced was chronic hasn't popped up in almost 2 years now? Turns out it was situational, and I just never managed to get out of the Situations long enough to figure it out before, haha. I finally got over my internalized transphobia and accepted I'm both man and woman, and its okay. All of the mental strain and distress I had put myself under resolved immediately and I'm so much healthier now. And that was before I found out I'm intersex and physically both too. I embraced my transness and in that other trans people found me and became my friends, even when I admitted my past mistakes, because they see how I strive constantly to be better and to make up for them. The people who knew me as a terf and now tell me I'm a completely different person. Even the really bad misogny I had picked up from radical feminism because it puts womanhood on a too high to reach pillar then punishes anybody who can't reach it disappeared. By seeing women as people first and foremost instead of just their sex, I let go off the weird assumptions I was trying to hold them too. That makes me a million times the feminist I pretended to be back then. In short, I finally grew up emotionally.

Damn, I was hoping I could answer all your questions in my story, but I can't see where to slot them in.

I don't have any radical feminism beliefs anymore, and will never have any of them ever again, because they don't mesh with material reality.

The woods thing isn't related to paganism, but both a reference to the female only radfem camping trips that used to happen yearly up in California and a weird message I got on Spinster inviting me out into some woods close to me in order to (I always forget the exact word she used! I wish i remembered) center my feminity, reconnect with Womanhood, something like that. Is the camping trips cancelled? To be fair, a lot of the rad fems I hung around and knew by name were Californian for some reason lol.

I avoided men so hard that the first time I heard Markiplier speak I had the cat fear response because I was so unaccustomed to deep male voices at that time, lmao.

Really, I wrote this post as a love letter to the me that existed 5 years ago. I wish I hadn't started with a sarcastic meme joke, but when I started that post I figured I'd delete it and it wouldn't matter, but then decided what the hell. Radfems can't hurt me anymore, and who knows, maybe something I write there will resonate with other people wanting out but hasn't mustered the courage yet.

I wish all current and future radical feminists a very quick escape your cult.

Don't believe their lies.

People leave the cult all the time. They just memoryhole them to keep up the lie of 'nobody stops being a radfem'.

They are NOT the majority, there is a reason you find the same faces on every site and group. Once you escape, you won't believe how big and wonderful the world is.

There is forgiveness and healing for you.

Being afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing is NOT normal or feminism!

You won't be alone if you leave. There are plenty of people out here willing to embrace you, even as you're going through your healing pains as you get deprogrammed.

You cannot power your way to being cis, regardless of what they say. You can't divine goddess weird forest female only ritual your way out of dysphoria, and looking back, it will honestly just be weird and embarassing lol

I know most of the deep in the sauce radfems will ignore/mock this, but those of you who want out and are afraid of being alone or hated because of your past, it is a lie. Don't be afraid to jump for freedom. My messenger/inbox is always open if you need a helping hand.

[rosurie]

Noé and Damsel relationship chart ♡

Damsel's Relationship Breakdowns:

Noé - "My precious baby brother Noé ♡"

- Noémie and Damsel are thick as thieves. she's also kinda the reason he has such a skewed view of romance, whoopsies ♡. Noé is precious to her, and she let's him get away with far more than anyone else in the orphanage. her precious baby brother that occasionally gets her off ♡

Kylar - "My cute little pet!"

- Kylar is obsessed with her. she finds that hilarious. she loves Kylar in her own twisted little way, but if we're being honest, most of what she feels for Kylar is just a lust-filled power high. despite this, she is incredibly possessive of Kylar. she'd further isolate him if he even considered falling out of love with her. she craves the validation he provides. Kylar thinks she's a perfect angel who can do no wrong.

Whitney - "My bitch ♡"

- Whitney wants to fuck her so bad it makes her look stupid. Damsel is aware of this. she thinks it's sooo funny. Damsel feels this odd mixture of actually liking Whit as a friend sometimes and wanting to beat her ass on the daily. Ultimately Damsel thinks she's kind of pathetic and that she purposefully picks fights for her to humiliate her. cute ♡

Robin - "Don't fly too far, Robin. You owe me."

- Damsel resents Robin as much as she cares about him. Robin thinks Damsel is amazing and feels indebted to her, plus he has a crush. Damsel takes advantage of that. She teases him a lot and keeps him at low confidence because it makes her feel more powerful. it's the least he could do for her.

IW - "Who...were we?"

- Damsel is...wary of The Wraith. she's interacted with them enough to know they have some sort of connection..but what is it? she is The Wraith's precious pearl. she's not sure what they mean by that. she's also pretty sure she's seen them before, in those months where she had disappeared.

Harper - "Doctor Harper..."

- very mixed feelings. on one hand, he did help her post-reappearance. on the other hand, he very clearly is the shadiest fucking doctor she's ever seen. but also she thinks he's kinda pathetic for attempting to hypnotize her into kissing him and performing sexual acts on him. she thinks that's cute ♡. Harper thinks she's lovely, she was pretty compliant during her treatment. shame she doesn't come around much anymore.

Niki - "I think I'm in love with you. I have to die."

- Damsel is so down bad for Niki that it genuinely embarasses her. if anyone ever found out how often she thinks of Niki, she'd die immediately. she's going stir crazy thinking about him. Niki thinks she's cute and a great model. they like her more than they let on.

Landry - "She's almost like a mom! or an older sister."

- Landry and Damsel have a very playful relationship. they both tease Mickey when they're together and Damsel thinks Landry is a pretty nice woman, all things considered. Landry thinks it's a little odd how many important documents and items Damsel manages to her her hands on and to sell, but hey, she hasn't gotten caught so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Bailey - "I hate you. [I don't]."

- Complicated feelings. She doesn't like other people demanding money from her and she doesn't like how quick he is to try to literally sell her. but...she was very attached to him as a kid and that's hard to shake off. [she also thinks he's hot but she'd jump from a building before admitting that]. Bailey thinks she's reliable. sometimes he still looks out for her.

Noémie's Relationship Breakdowns:

Damsel - "My tiny older sis ♡. I'll keep you safe."

- he does everything he can to keep her safe. he also feels a bit entitled to parts of her but I go into that more here. Damsel was the first person he attached to at the orphanage and some things never change. despite not being around her much physically during the week, he does seem to always know how to find her if he needs to.

Robin - "We grew up together. You should be less naive."

- he's noticed Robin's attachment to Damsel but he doesn't really bother with it. Robin isn't a threat. Robin tends to see Noémie as an extension of Damsel because they interact him in similar ways and so he's got a very confusing boner for Noé.

Kylar - "You're not good enough for my sister. You're lucky she likes you."

- if he could get rid of Kylar without Damsel being upset, he would. he doesn't think Kylar is worth any of Damsel's time, even if she's just using him. Kylar views Noé as a roadblock to Damsel and him living happily ever after. he's partially right (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶).

Sydney - "Fall into my arms, I'll guide you."

- Sydney is naive and pliable, the perfect subject to convert into his devotee. he wants to drive Sydney into calamity just to be her savior so he can be her new god. Sydney's low-key losing it because of his teasing and she's falling hard.

Jordan - "You seem so innocent for someone in such high regard. Curious."

- so curious about Jordan. how can someone so innocent be a priest for this fucked ass Temple?? wants to ruin Jordan but also thinks he's fun like this. likes to subtly flirt with him because Jordan is very easily flustered. Jordan thinks Noé is sweet and kind! even if he can be a bit of a smooth talker. he's choosing to ignore how that affects him.

Bailey - "I spent a lot of time around you when Damsel and I were young. You seemed so different then."

- he gets pissed off when Bailey attempts to sell off Damsel [before she made bank of course]. there's still some bitterness there, but he also still thinks of Bailey as that guy Damsel used to cling to and admire so he's not completely on his shit list. Bailey doesn't like to be around him too long because the air around him is always ice cold, but Noé pays his dues so he doesn't have any strong feelings about him.

Relationships I didn't add so the chart didn't get too confusing

- Noé is very interested in The Wraith and their interest in Damsel. however he's also like...please stop trying to impregnate my sister with your parasite babies ♡

- Noé likes Niki [btw my Niki is amab but uses he/they pronouns so if you see me hopping between those now you know why]. they treat Damsel well and she doesn't get harassed nearly as much in his photography studio. he's Noé approved.

- despite her bad blood with the Temple, Damsel actually really likes Jordan! she feels a bit bad that she doesn't visit him more often. also she low-key wants to get in his pants but she's choosing to ignore that.

[aristaspark]

Notice how Darius didn't look at Brooklynn's arm?

It's not me who's saying this. That's a conversation that's happening in the fandom that I wanted to talk about because I find it truly...idk, kind of icky, and of bad taste.

I decided to speak about it after having stumbled once again upon a post using Darius' lack of "notice" of Brooklynn's arm as an argument for the ship, but it's far from being the first time I've seen people bring it up.

Don't get me wrong, my problem isn't that they're supporting the ship, even though I believe Kenlynn to be endgame, I can admit that there are elements that could point towards dinostar possibly being endgame, my problem is with this argument specifically, because it looks like the ones using it are purposefully being obtuse, and are missing the point. To me it's a really disrespectful outlook on the work of the writers and their handling of Brooklynn's disability.

For context, Brooklynn explains to Soyona that she doesn't like the way people look at her ever since she has lost her arm. I love this scene. We get an insight into Brooklynn and her struggles, into how she is still adapting to the way people perceive her now that she's "different". The loss of her arm isn't brushed aside, it has lasting consequences that the writers don't shy away from. They consulted people with limb differences to make sure that they'd show an authentic representation of their expericences, and you can see the care that they put into telling that aspect of Brooklynn's story.

Now that we established that, yes, Brooklynn is struggling with the way she is perceived, let's talk about why I hate what the fandom makes of it.

There are two characters who react to Brooklynn's arm: Ben and Kenji. And from Brooklynn's reaction, we see that she feels some type of way about it, even though she has very different reactions to the two of them, because the two interactions are VERY different.

During the scene with Ben, we can see that Ben's gaze, despite himself, is drawn to her arm. That's mainly because he had no idea that she'd lost it, but since they were both very stressed and there were millions of other more "pressing" matters he should have focused on, it hurt Brooklynn that his eyes kept ogling at her arm. Neither of them were in the right mindset. He was slightly insensitive in the way he approached the subject, which caused Brooklynn to react negatively. But it's never shown as a black and white thing. Ben apologizes and afterwards, Brooklynn is able to focus on something else because she's an actual intelligent and social being who's aware that simply because Ben looked at her arm didn't mean that he thought of her as less than. It was a human interaction, realistic, and in no way was it implanted to say something about Ben and Brooklynn's relationship, to imply that Ben having a reaction made him a bad friend somehow. This is simply realistic.

Now, Kenji. He first notices her arm when she's talking to Ben, and we can see that he focuses on it for a hot second, before looking up at her face. Needless to say that in that moment there's a million things going through his mind. Brooklynn is alive, she's there, Ben knew Brooklynn was alive, she has lost a limb... We can see he is hit by all these informations which are way too much for him to process. It's NORMAL, EXCPECTED that he'd have a reaction to seeing her missing arm. Any other reaction would have been stupid. It's as if your lover left for a few days, came back with a missing limb and you said nothing. This doesn't happen. Them writing this into the show says nothing about Kenji's status as a love interest, he shouldn't have to ignore it to be considered a suitable partner and I find it kind of disgusting that people imply this. His lover has lost a limb, of course it will have an impact on him.

Now, the second time he looks at her arm is when he's finally reunited with Brooklynn. But simply reducing this interaction to "Kenji looks at Brooklynn arm -> Brooklynn scared -> Bad = Darius better" is a thought process I'd expect from a pre-schooler.

Kenji spends a very long moment staring only at Brooklynn, at HER FACE, expressing his emotions (beautiful scene by the way). Then he WILLINGLY looks at her arm. Kenji's aware that she's looking at him and he has already seen her arm, the only reason he looks down at her arm is because he wants HER to be aware that he has seen it, and one shouldn't have to be a genius to understand this. And he looks incredibly sad because, I know that's crazy, but as someone who love(d)s her, this impacts him. And Brooklynn has a reaction, I know that's crazy. But unlike with Ben, she looks scared, not mad. I won't spend too much time on this because I already did a brief "analysis" of this scene, but I took it as either she was scared that he'd see her differently, either it was the manifestation of all the hurt she's suffered (yk, often when you open up about something, you feel the emotions as you tell the story, and to me this could be Brooklynn allowing herself to show someone she's suffering for the first time, as if a silent conversation had taken place. Kenji asks what happened to her arm with his eyes, and all the hurt comes flooding back as she's reminded of everything she's been through).

Now, some people use the fact that Darius didn't even glance at her arm as, idk, a good thing, patting him on the back for it (which, on its own, is incredibly weird to me). Yasmina and Sammy didn't look at it either, but since they're not shipped with Brooklynn most don't care, it's not about disability but about somehow gaining points in the battle for Brooklynn.

But I'm like, you have to purposely being obtuse to use this as an argument. If I was Brooklynn and I was presumed dead for a long time, and when I came back I had a limb missing (implying an immense amount of suffering) I would absolutely want my partner and my friends to notice it ??? ESPECIALLY the person I love?? Actually, if he didn't notice I would straight up hate him because that would just mean that he DOESN'T CARE.

Implying that strangers looking at Brooklynn's arm and her loved ones reacting to her evident trauma are the same thing is wild, but using it as an argument for shipping is worse and, to me, an insult to all the work the writers have done to tackle the subject of disability. There isn't some checklist of people who looked at her arm and people who didn't, Darius (as well as Yaz and Sammy) don't deserve a cookie (or Brooklynn's love for that matter 🙃) because they didn't look at it. Ben and Kenji reacting to her arm doesn't mean that they somehow care less about the fact that Brooklynn's alive or that they love her less than the others, and Darius isn't "special" for not having looked at her arm, because Sammy and Yaz also didn't. It simply means that they are well written characters who react to things in their own, sometimes clumsy way.

What bothers me is that these scenes clearly weren't implanted for shipping matters, but are part of the characters' journeys with Brooklynn's disability, and her own journey. Them being present doesn't somehow put a definitive stain on Brooklynn's relationships with Kenji and Ben, things don't work like that. If anything I find Kenji's scene with her to be very touching, because you can just see how devastated he is for her, and how frightened she is.

It's not the fact that people look at her that hurts Brooklynn, it's the reason and the manner in which they look at her.

Idk to me it's kind of disrespectful to the work the writers did because it's implying that they tried to say Darius was the one for Brooklynn simply because he didn't care for his friend's severed limb. I think there are better arguments to make for dinostar, and less insensitive, than to reduce this very important topic to shipping.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my ted talk 😭

[american-horror-whore]

what are your opinions on natalie? i feel like we haven't seen her and evan in a while.

woo, okay, so (long ramble under the cut)

To start off, as i’m aware they haven’t been seen together (relationship wise) since october, though they were spotted hanging out, as what was assumed by many, as friends + accompanied by someone else. As far as the fandom is aware, they didn’t spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, or New Year together, considering Nat was in Australia (her ex was assumed to be around the same area, as he made a post on his story near the same location but take that with a grain of salt since the story is no longer available) and Evan was assumed to be in St. Louis.

As far as my stance goes, i’m neutral on her. there’s some things i like about her, and some things I don’t like, which we’ll be talking about here. as of recent, i’ve heard on many accounts she’ll block anyone that asks about evan. she also turned off her comment section after an argument with a fan where she had called the bond between her and Evan, a ‘friendship’, which threw off many of us. Another account stated that back during the coachella ‘scandal’, she had her friends take a video of her and Evan (while he was assumed to be intoxicated, because well it’s a music festival) and send it off to Deuxmoi, which was then confirmed by them in a podcast, saying the video was sent in by someone in Natalie’s “inner circle”. That part was later cut out of the podcast episode after someone, most likely natalie, reached out to them. she also stated in the comment section argument that she was ‘traumatized’ from said incident, when there is in fact footage of her looking straight at the camera while being on top of him, and she still allows herself to be tagged in that video on instagram, not even attempting to remove it. i personally consider that extremely contradicting, but that’s just my opinion.

I was never ever one to dislike her from the start. I had a hopeful stance on her, but there’s been a few ‘fishy’ incidents with her, and i’ve been trying to dig up as much proof as possible. She seemed like a good-intentioned person, and I don't particularly hate her, but I do wish she wouldn't try these mind games with Evan's fandom, it's like a whole “where's waldo” situation in all of her stories and it's why i’ve been kind of fed up with her. she’d starting to irritate me and adding more things to the pile that make me like her less and less. she doesn't benefit my time at all, which is why i try not to dwell on her too much, but she can’t seem to escape my fyps and dashes. most of the aforementioned evidence was sadly lost after the original evan peters subreddit was privated. I’m currently in contact with a few of the original screenshot sharers to see if they still have them and I will edit this post one I gather the receipts. I’ve been very very open minded about her until these incidents came up, and i still try to be open minded, but it’s started to get a bit difficult. I understand this post might get some backlash, but at this point, it’s my blog, and people on the internet have no say in my actual life. anon, thank you for allowing me to talk about this subject. anyone else who has thoughts, feel free to interact. a respectful back-and-forth is always welcome !!

and to everyone else, consider this my resumé for a position as an official evan peters gossip blog, as well as being a writer 🖤