#what are you here for then? what are you getting out of this website? why don't you want to have fun?
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[Download] Lyralei's Pose Addon (Early Release)
It's finally here! 🎉 An successor to Virtual Artisan��s incredible Pose Addon!
VA’s Pose Addon has always been an essential part of my game, but it’s no secret that it had a few quirks and issues. While fixing those, I couldn’t resist adding some exciting new features to take it to the next level!
DOWNLOAD:
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Requirements:
Cmomoney's Pose Box
Why Not Use Virtual Artisan's Pose Box with this mod?
This mod is an update to their original mod! Since it’s no longer available on their website, I decided to fully integrate it into this mod.
What does that mean?
This mod includes VA’s Pose Addon, so you don’t need to download it separately. Just make sure to delete the old version to avoid any glitches or conflicts! 😊
⭐ New Features:
Most things that are mine can be found under "Photo Shooting" > "Lyralei's Pose Addon".
👀Better Look at
Ever posed a sim to look at something next to them, but they do this weird "eye roll-y" and "nudging slightly to the left" type of look at?
Or maybe you simply wanted to make the eyes look somewhere and not the head?
Let's check it out:
Here we have Morgana, looking normally...
Left = Va's Pose addon - Right = Lyralei's Pose Addon.
To get started, first pose your Sim as usual! Once they’re in position, simply click "Look At..." to make it work.
Massive thanks to @thesweetsimmer111 for helping me on this!
Look at with just the eyes:
As mentioned, you can also just move certain parts of the body! In this case, the eyes!
(Left: No Look At, Middle = Looking left, Right = Looking up)
This is done with something called a "Track Mask". When selected, the only parts of the sim will move that fit the chosen trackmask.
For example: Track Mask "EyesOnly" will ONLY animate the eyes!
Blending Poses
Can't find a pose online that fits your needs, but you do have 2 poses that would totally fix that?
Not a problem anymore! With "Pose Blending" you can use a pose "base" and then overlay another pose to create your own dynamic poses!
Here are some examples!
On both cases, we have the "base" pose on the left. Then I have chosen to blend it with the pose in the middle, to get this as an end result! :)
How to:
First, pose your sim as you normally would
Go to "Photo shooting..." > "Lyralei's Pose Addon..." > "Utils..." > "Blend" > Choose whichever option you'd like to use! :)
Pick the Track Mask you'd like to apply. If you only want the upperbody to be affected, click that option.
Click/type in the pose you want to blend it with....
And tada!
Sitting/Laying poses:
Even that's possible! :) Keep in mind, though: The base pose HAS to sit/lay/etc. Otherwise, your sim will elevate!
Categorised Pose List
Frustrated because every time you want to grab a pose from your list, it takes 3455325352 years for the list to load? Well, wait no more!
Completely customizable through XML, you can now sort poses in their own respective categories!
Need a sitting pose? no problem! Just go to Lyralei's Pose Addon > Take pose From... > Common List > Sitting, and there you have all your sitting poses! :)
Can I customise this list myself?
Of course! I wrote a How-To here: Click me!
🕰️ Show History
The Add-on remembers your pose history!
Whether you’re a dedicated “Pose by Name” user or prefer the simplicity of “Show by List”, both options now display your pose history for quick reference.
Note: Each Sim has their own individual history list. This means you’ll only see the pose history for Sim X when clicking on them, and not for Sim Y.
What did I fix for Virtual Artisan's Pose Addon?
I've made sure to keep everything as it used to (and if I made a replacement for it, it's now labeled with "[LEGACY]" at the beginning of the interaction).
But, of course there were some bugs that came with it.
Changelist:
There is now an interaction that uses both look at & reaction simultaneously. (In case you don't want to use my look at interaction).
Fixed an issue where reactions would sometimes or never show on the sim.
Fixed an issue where sims didn't always want to look at the item.
Fixed an issue where certain poses get called twice, making it harder to keep reactions or even look at history data.
Optimised the code here and there.
Most interactions will now continue on posing your sim if you exited out of the interaction, rather than resetting it. (this counts for "Change Expression" and "Look At").
DOWNLOAD:
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#ts3#the sims 3#the sims#sims 3#sims#sims 3 cc#ts3 cc#ts3cc#sims3cc#sims 3 shopping#sims 3 poses#sims 3 story#ts3 script mod#sims 3 script#sims 3 script mod#sims 3 mod#ts3 mod#ts3 mods#sims 3 mods
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Soundtrack to Disaster
Chapter VII: Choose Love or Sympathy
masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev. | diaries coming soon
songs for this chapter: that’s what you get by paramore, xo by fall out boy, lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, king for a day by pierce the veil
a/n: hear me when i say these two are absolutely in for it it. I'm also a huge fan of italics apparently
chapter tags: angst, hurt/comfort but then... hurt/no comfort (SORRY!), reader is a sensitive baby we love her, mean!Eddie, but also very sweet Eddie. swearing, smoking, drinking, reader struggles with self image / mental health (vague for now) | fic tags: angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU
DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Reblog/comment/like to support the author! Join the tag list!
taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotine @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj @losingmygrasponreality |
--
The weekend comes barreling towards you sooner than you’d have liked. You wake up Friday morning with a sense of dread, Robin’s words on a broken loop in your head: what you ‘know’ isn’t the whole goddamn story. Everyone keeps fucking saying that, but no one has actually told you what you “don’t know.”. Chris hasn’t given you a goddamn leg to stand on, speaking in riddles and never once confirming or denying a thing. You’re an adult, and you wish these fuckers would start treating you like one.
On your nightstand, your phone buzzes repeatedly, a string of incoming text messages:
bobbins: so,, ive smoked some weed bobbins: im cool now bobbins: i still think there’s a lot we don’t know,, bobbins: but I’m sorry for insinuating you should forgive him. bobbins: i cant imagine how you felt that day. bobbins: i love u bb
You scramble to respond before she can get another five messages in,
it’s ok bob, i love u 2
The subject changes swiftly as she tosses questions about tonight at you one after the other. You send her pictures of your outfit choices, hairstyle ideas, personal protection list before finally asking her the question gnawing on your brain.
What if he doesn’t like me?
Robin responds by calling you.
“Hi?”
“Don’t be stupid.” She starts, not letting you explain. “He asked you out, why wouldn’t he like you?!”
“I dunno! Maybe he’s just looking for a hookup. Maybe he thought I’d be easy?” The suggestion sounds silly coming out of your mouth, and you hear Robin scoff at you.
“Look, if things start to stink, call me. Steve’s closing tonight, so he’ll be right down the street.”
You sigh into the receiver. “Okay, okay. You’re right, I’m probably worried for nothing.”
“Atta girl! Now go on, go headbang or whatever it is you people do.”
You snort as you say your goodbyes, and hang up the phone. Without Robin to distract you, you turn to the outfits you’ve spread out on your bed. Emo Nite is casual, sure, but you still want to look good. You decide on a pair of Tripp pants, adorned with metal hooks and chains, pairing it with an old Paramore shirt you cropped with kitchen scissors in high school. With your outfit out of the way, you sit at your vanity to do your makeup, extending your winged eyeliner a little further than you would on a normal day. When you’re done, your alarm clock reads 8:30, and you make your way to your car.
–
9:15.
The lights of the city seem to dance across the sky. Everything is louder here, bustling with nightlife you could only dream of seeing in Hawkins. You’re standing outside the club alone, nursing the end of your last cigarette. Maybe he’s running late? You don’t have a single unread text from Scotty. You type several different messages of your own, deleting each one before settling on “You on your way?” But its delivery is never confirmed. It’s grown cold outside, and you wrap your flannel tighter around you to keep the wind out. You should have brought a jacket, but you weren’t expecting to be outside for this long. You can hear the first notes of an old favorite song, followed by a bunch of 20 somethings cheering. Patrons are dressed in black, clad in leather and fishnets, their combat booted feet stomping into the venue. Emo Nite is a nostalgia cash grab, you know that, but you’re envious of everyone setting foot inside, surrounded by their friends and peers, leaving you abandoned at the door.
–
9:30.
The time taunts you from your phone screen. You’re waiting outside the club, the air brisk on your face. Every so often, the door swings open as someone enters or exits, and you turn to see if it’s someone for you. So far, none of them have been, and you’re debating whether or not to walk to the record store and ask Steve to hitch a ride back to his place to mope.
“Hey, Bee!” The voice calling you isn’t the one you’re hoping to hear, but it’s just as familiar. You find its source across the street, Macy waving at you eagerly as her bandmates and fucking Eddie follow behind. Oh, right. Like being stood up isn’t humiliating enough, now Eddie gets to tease you about it.
“What’re you doing out here, girl? It’s freezing!” Macy is sweet, holding your icy cheeks between her warm hands. You can tell she’s already had a few drinks.
“I’m, hm,” You clear your throat, “I’m waiting for someone.”
“A date? Eek! Hear that, Eds? Our girl has a date!” Her words send static through your veins. Since when are you anyone’s girl, let alone Munson and Macy’s?
“Mhm, okay, honey. Let’s go get you situated, yeah?” Eddie ushers her inside, handing her off to Fiona before returning to where you’re standing. Without a word, he lights a cigarette and offers it to you, and you take it without acknowledgement while he lights his own. After what seems like hours, the two of you choose to speak at the same time,
“How late is–” “Why did you–” “What?” “What?”
“You first,” Eddie gestures to you before pulling from his cigarette.
“Why did you tell Scotty to ask me out?”
“What in the world makes you think I told him to ask you out?”
“Look, she’s gonna kill me for telling you this, but Robin overheard you in the bathroom talking to Scotty at the bar. She walked in by accident, and you two had come in before she could leave. Anyway, you know she can’t keep secrets for shit, so she told me what you said to him. Why?” You cross your arms, attempting to hold in as much body heat as possible,but to no avail. Eddie notices, and immediately sheds his jacket, not giving you a chance to refuse it as he drapes the leather over your shoulders.
“I thought he was a cool dude. Thought you guys would hit it off.” His answer does nothing to satiate the hunger for every detail of every single thought that went through his brain up until this very moment. He is driving you fucking insane. “Hey, I bet I could get Macy to put you on the guestlist, so at least tonight won’t be a total waste?” Yet another peace offering from Eddie Munson. Hell must have frozen over.
He doesn’t wait for your approval before reaching into his inner jacket pocket of the coat that you have since put fully on to shield yourself from the wind, to grab his phone. After eagerly punching a few buttons, he holds the device up to his ear, plugging the other with his finger. “Hey, babe. I’m outside with Bee, Scott stood her up.” You can’t hear what Macy’s response is, but Eddie replies with, “You read my mind, honey. We’ll be in in a sec.” He ends the call and turns his attention back to you, his big brown eyes attempting, it seems, to read your mind. “You pissed?”
You shake your head, inhaling another drag of your cigarette. “Not really. Disappointed, I guess.” You pick at your cuticles, refusing to hold eye contact with Eddie, but that doesn’t stop him from boring his own into the top of your head; you can feel them penetrating your skull. “Could’a used the distraction.”
“Fancy me a distractor? Macy’s gonna be busy, I’m practically all by myself tonight.” You look up, and Eddie’s jutting his bottom lip out to pout at you.
“You don’t mind being seen with me?” You tease, flicking ash onto the concrete. You can’t imagine Eddie actually wants you to agree to this offer.
“Why would I? When have I ever cared what people think of me? Especially these posers.” He gestures to you, and you fake offense.
“Posers?! I’ll have you know I have met some of the most authentic punks at places like this, you dweeb!” You toss your cigarette butt on the ground, stomping out the embers with your boot.
“Sorry, sorry! I’m used to going to shows where people leave bloody. Not used to this side of the alternative Venn Diagram, I guess.” He flicks his own cigarette, mirroring your movements. “Shall we go inside?” You nod begrudgingly, and he opens the door to the club for you, stopping to give the bouncer your names.
–
The club is dark, expectedly. The lights flash shades of pink, purple, and blue as people dance and attempt to chat over the noise; and the whole scene is set to the music of your childhood and teen years. As Eddie leads you across the floor, you can feel your chest tighten, watching couples surrounding you, dancing or sloppily making out against the back wall. You let it sink in that you've been stood up. The first time in three years you’d even attempted to go on a date, and the guy didn’t even show up. You hum along to the song playing, a desperate plea for distraction from the situation in front of you. Meanwhile, Eddie leads you to a table away from the speakers, and shouts that he’ll be right back. You can only guess he’s off to wish his girlfriend luck.
While you wait, you observe the crowd around you, and it’s full of kids you knew in high school that used to bully you for liking this kind of music, dressed as caricatures with arm warmers and cheap chains dangling off their black skinny jeans. Conventionally attractive girls wear their eyeliner in heavy wings, their lips painted shades of dark red, dancing with boys in all black with long hair. You try not to think about what Scotty would have worn. You wonder if he even likes this kind of thing. Maybe it was a test, and you'd failed.
Just as you’re about to spiral into misery again, Eddie returns with two drinks in his hands. “You like shirleys, right? I wasn’t totally sure. I can go grab you something else if you want?” If you didn’t know any better, you would think Eddie was nervous.
“No, this is good. Thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem!” He has to yell over the music.
“And, uh, thanks for hanging out with me. I know it’s like, the last thing you wanna be doing right now.”
Eddie takes a swig of his beer before responding, “Nah, definitely not the last thing. This is way better than listening to Steve talk about his latest conquest.” You picture the scenario, Eddie slamming his head against a wall while Steve goes on and on about Tracy, or Nicole, or whoever it is this week. The mental image makes you giggle, and Eddie’s smile seems to widen. It makes you uncomfortable, being so close to him. Luckily, though, you don’t get to think about it too long.
“Alright, alright! Thank you guys for comin’ out to hang with us! We have a guest for you tonight, please welcome Macy Miller, frontwoman of Statuesque Dolls!” The crowd cheers politely, these things never have people worth freaking out over. Macy takes the stage, clad in a silky black dress that hugs her form perfectly. Next to you, Eddie is whooping and hollering, “That’s my girl!” It makes your stomach churn. You’re reminded again that you’re supposed to be here on a date. You’re supposed to be someone’s girl.
“Alright, I got a couple of songs for you guys, but I need all of you up and shaking some emo ass with me, got it?!” You can’t deny Macy knows how to work a crowd. She gets people to migrate to the dance floor, and Eddie offers his hand out. “Can I have this dance?”
“Um,” You hesitate to take his outstretched palm. “What about Macy?” You point lamely to where Macy is killing her cover of Fall Out Boy’s XO.
“What about her? It’s a dance, Bee. I’m not, like, asking you to sleep with me or some shit.” Eddie frowns at you, like you’ve offended him.
He does have a point, though. One dance won’t kill you. You accept his gesture, taking his own massive hand in yours, and hope to god he can’t tell that yours is sweating. He leads you to the dance floor, waving to Macy from the crowd as he does. There’s a burn in your stomach when she blows him a kiss, and he pretends to catch it in his mouth. You’re close to bailing when Eddie turns his attention back to you, clearing his throat.
You stare back at him, eyes wide with fear that he’s going to bail, and you prepare to tuck your tail between your legs and call Robin. Instead, Eddie takes your hand again, and yanks you into his embrace. You bump into his chest, but he recovers the fumble by holding you there, free arm resting hesitantly on your waist. You’re frozen, having no clue where to put your hands, so Eddie takes the lead. He drops the hand he’s holding on his shoulder, and moves your other to meet it on the other side. He then rests both his hands on your hips, giving you enough space between his body and yours to breathe, but barely.
The song continues, melodramatic and overtly horny. That, combined with the warmth of the drink in your veins, plus the closeness of Eddie, makes you feel almost good. It’s difficult not to overthink, though, having him in your personal space, your bodies pressed together on a very hot, crowded dance floor, moving in ways you definitely wouldn't have done three hours ago.
“So,” Eddie muses, looking anywhere but at you as he speaks, but still able to move in sync with you. “How’s your day goin’?”
You snicker at his poor attempt at conversation. “Well, I got stood up, and now I’m dancing with who I would have bet this morning wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. All things considered, I think it’s going pretty horribly!”
The ice seems to crack as you speak, Eddie visibly relaxing as you sway to the music. “Okay, that’s fair. Are you pleasantly surprised?”
You look up at him, but his eyes are locked over your head, staring where Macy stands onstage, swaying with a few friends in front of the DJ booth. You shrug. “Jury’s still out.”
He snorts, rolling his eyes at you. After what feels like an eternity, the song ends and Macy queues another rock anthem to get the crowd moving again. You’re unmoving as Eddie unwraps himself from you. “We should do this again sometime.” He states, unreadable.
“What, dance?”
“Sure, or just, y'know, hang out. Be civil for once. It’s been awhile.”
You roll your eyes. “You know this can’t be, like, a normal thing. It bruises our reputation as sworn enemies.” A feeble attempt to make it a joke, though you know in your heart you can’t be friends with Eddie. The earth would cave in on itself.
Eddie chuckles. “Whatever you say, Bee. See ya ‘round.” And he leaves you alone, disappearing into the crowd.
–
It’s 11:30 when your phone buzzes. You’re four drinks deep, stirring another dirty shirley at the bar, observing the people around you having fun.
Scotty A: Hey! Totally meant to text you. Got stuck at work.
An avalanche of thoughts rumbles through you, most of them not safe for work. You don’t even know how to respond. There’s no apology, no groveling for your forgiveness, not a hint of actual, real regret. Like you don’t matter. It exhausts you to even think of what that date would’ve been like had he shown up. You type your response between gulps of liquid courage.
“Are you fucking serious?”
The "..." bubble appears, but quickly vanishes. You gape at your phone, wishing you were home so you could let out the blood curdling scream building in your chest. The anger vibrating through you needs an escape, so you lurch from your seat at the bar, rushing quickly out of the club. Eddie whips his head around as you pass him. You think you hear him call your name, but your eyes have started stinging and he’s the last person you want to see you cry.
The night air hits you hard, bringing separate tears to your eyes. Following your therapist’s advice, you start a box breathing exercise. Breathe in, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Breathe out, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four.
“Hey,” The voice startles you into a hiccup. “You okay?” Eddie has made his way outside after you, leaning against the wall. “Saw you dash outta there like something caught fire. Got worried.” He says it nonchalantly, and it takes you aback. Instead of responding, you flip your phone screen towards him. His eyes scan the page before they focus back on you, shaking his head. “That is so fucked up.”
Your voice breaks with your next question. “Did you know this was gonna happen? Scotty’s your friend.”
Eddie’s face drops into a grimace. “How would I have known? Why would I have told him to hit you up if I knew this was gonna happen?”
It frustrates you how reasonable he’s being. You want someone to yell at, someone to blame, and Eddie just so happens to be the closest target. “I don’t know! Maybe you did it as revenge, or something equally as immature. Maybe you wanted me to feel the same way you did when–”
He interrupts, shaking his head feverishly. “I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. Even you.” The words are a knife to your chest. You don’t like remembering what you did to Eddie that night, but it’s your fault for bringing it up. “I told Scotty to ask you out because he said he liked you. Crazy concept, I know, but i suggest you stop thinking everyone’s out to get you. I thought it would be fun, hanging out with you and him. I’m sorry it didn’t go how you planned, but blaming me isn’t fucking fair, Bee.”
He’s right, but you can’t bring yourself to back down. “It’s not fair to take someone’s brother away for six years, but you had no problem doing that.”
“Fuck you, Bee. Seriously.” He spits the words before turning on his heel, and heading inside. You are once again left alone, outside, in the cold.
–
#st#fics#munson#Eddie Munson x you#Eddie Munson x y/n#Eddie Munson x reader#Eddie Munson x oc!reader#hurt/comfort#hurt/no comfort#slow burn#angst#enemies to friends to lovers#modern au#reader is not an elder emo per se... she's 23-24ish#stranger things
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trans male artyom x horny degenerate nikita?
transmasc!artyom x horny degenerate!nikita headcanons!
oh sweet anon….sweet, sweet, anon…you have no idea what youve gotten yourself into….i have so many headcanons about this…
absolutely no one but nikita knows that artyom is trans. artyom would rather kill himself then let any other living soul know that he is.
nikita was friends with artyom before he transitioned which is the only reason why he even knows. he became friends with him and was honestly so turned on that a girl would ever bother being his friend, but once he was told he still didnt care.
all it did was make him like him more, realizing that he liked artyom as a whole (and for what he had in his pants).
nikita has made it extremely difficult for artyom to hang out with him without him being a total creep. he just lets that shit out he doesnt care.
nikita definitely started watching porn and snuff of trans people specifically whenever artyom came out. none of it was in a good light as you can imagine, but it only made him more of a needy freak.
i think nikita would have an obsession with artyoms chest specifically. he would always be asking if he can touch it or just even see it which artyom doesnt typically oblige to, but it gets to a certain point where he just has to so he’ll shut up.
i think even when theyre laying in bed together nikita would have a hand over artyoms chest and then another wrapped around his waist - he likes his curves. artyom hates it, but, again, theres not a lot he can do about it other then let his disgust and discomfort known.
however its not all bad for artyom. it makes it way easier to manipulate nikita into doing what he wants because he thinks if he does anything hes asked to then maybe he’ll get a look at his tits or something.
artyom also likes to tease nikita just to fuck with him. sometimes when its just them in his apartment (which it usually is) he’ll take his shirt off and just keep his binder on while nikitas ass would be practically drooling over it. sometimes he’ll even just wear a bra and then that has him cumming in his pants within seconds.
artyom has probably let nikita finger him at least a couple of times. its always hit or miss - sometimes nikita will have watched too much transmasc porn and will know exactly what hes doing or he will be too stupid and horny to bother making it any good.
he also definitely always wants to get his mouth on him to eat him out. hes only gotten to do that at least once though.
nikita wants nothing more then for artyom to get on his dick. that would be absolute heaven to him, but it never gets that far. itll go as far as artyom sitting on his lap, wearing nothing but a bra and panties while nikitas only wearing his boxers - grinding down against him while he whines and pulls at the back of bra to get it off, but nothing more then that.
nikita might get fed up though and do some pretty shitty things to artyom….who knows….winks…
nikita is definitely a freak about artyom whenever hes on his period and he will always just want to help (and to lick it up) but he has no idea what hes doing. he would say some shit like “yes my glorious transmasc, tranny, trans man king….heh…ill lick that blood up for you so it doesnt make a mess….heh…”
nikita, being a freak and finding himself on questionable porn websites, has definitely gotten into misgendering as a kink. he definitely has done it to artyom during their weird sex things which just really pisses him off and nikita doesnt get why he doesnt like it like the “actors” in the video.
hes also said some transphobic things here and there. like incel level type shit because he doesnt know where else to get any of his information from.
#tcc fandom#tcc tumblr#tccblr#tcctwt#tee cee cee#tccblur#teeceecee#anoufrievboy headcanons#nikita and artyom#artyom anoufriev#nikita lytkin#academy maniacs#dismembered pugachova#artkita
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It’s my Twitter handle. It’s my website. And now I’ve named my publishing company after this simple phrase from Luke 10. But why? For me, the phrase grabbed hold of me in high school and I’ve never been able to shake it. The parable of the Good Samaritan is intriguing even to non-Christians as it shows us what it means to truly love our neighbor. It didn’t come from the people who were paid to do it. It didn’t come from the respected religious leaders of the day. In fact, those people had no time for the man laying on the side of the road dying. And then “a despised Samaritan came along”. By all expectations of those times, such a man was more likely to simply finish the Jew off than do anything to help him. Half-breeds, a mixture of Jew and Gentile, they were loathed for their blend of pure and imperfect DNA. Incorrect in their places and efforts of worship, the Jews and Samaritans had literally fought and desecrated each others’ temples at times. To the Jews, the Samaritans were nothing more than a reminder of what happens when your ancestors stop doing what they were told to do and try it their own way. The northern kingdom of Israel was carried off, wiped out, and intermarried until there was nothing left of it but a sad reminder of disobedience and a people who felt unloved, unworthy, and forgotten.
"Jesus is all about love" no my friend, Jesus is all about loving your neighbor more than yourself (Luke 10:25-42).
The despised samaritan.
The teachers (governors) of law and oppression, biblical and secular, wanted to justify their actions (justify why they should put themselves ahead of anybody) and be selfish first. They wanted to justify letting their brothers die while justifying that they aren't "his keeper" (Cain and Abel, Genesis 4).
Jesus said to love your neighbor as your yourself because when you reject someone who has hurt you, and you don't forgive them after they have come to you with true and honest repentance then Jesus says to remember that as you wish him to judge them so he too will judge you. That's what "eye for an eye" means.
People are shocked when they read the Bible but humanity wasn't always "civilized" there was a period where God had to make this law literal to get peoples attention on how lawless some "societies" can get.
Jesus warns us that people can be this barbaric, we see this in things like cults and street gangs and the mafia and the cartel and human trafficking (these people have the mark of Cain [the "mark" is the energy they try to replicate but can't genuinely give like friendship and comfort, but God is with you in your "gut feeling" when you know something is wrong and you know you can only trust them as far as you can throw them] by the way) and those are the kind of "tribes" God had killed in his "anger" by the way. I'm not sure what it is people are mad about when they try to say that the "old testament God is cruel." The Bible traces these "genealogies" and these "tribes" to show that what a "family" reaps so it will sow (Psalms 37:13).
Jesus pointed to and used himself as the prime example of someone who preached nothing but love and was murdered for it.
Jesus doesn't want to build a family that is based on what it wants to do, what it thinks is best for itself in the name of everyone (their tribe/belief system), but on what he knows is best for everyone.
"so you're the 'king' of the Jews are you?" Pilate asks him, (John 18:37-38).
"That's what you (guys) say, I'm just here preaching the truth (that you should love me as you would love yourself in this and in every situation)"
Pilate says "well what is truth? Who are you to say there's an objective truth? Why should I help you? What you ever done for me? In fact, your causing trouble and annoying me. You're not my brother, you're a jew (a Christian, a left, a right, Muslim, red, blue, A team, B team, this race, that race, [Luke 38-42] getting caught up in "details" aka religion race and creed). I'm not your keeper (Genesis 4:9). I just keep the peace. I need to appease the crowd. Keep it happy."
But his promise is that the world can only kill your body(he is the prime example of this), but it cannot have your spirit. He promised us that those who remained faithful till the end would be with him in paradise on their day of judgement (death) Psalms 119:50.
Remember, there were three of them on the Cross (Luke23:,39-41). The one on his one side said "if you're really God then prove it. Show me a miracle. Save me from my judgement. "Save me from my sins." Save me right now, let me live now and then I'll believe. The other said "sir, if you're really going to heaven then please take me with you because I know where I'm going when I die, I know what I've done. I know why I'm up here." And Jesus promised him that together, simply because he believed (believed that someone could actually love him despite the worst thing he's ever done) then they would both be in paradise.
Luke chapter 10 is arguably the best chapter in the Bible and I know it's my favorite because MANY people use it to justify their actions and their beliefs and their lives but IF you read the whole chapter Jesus is really only speaking to his children. He's speaking to the 72 other disciples he had just sent out to preach in his name and I love it because it's a beautiful reminder that in this chapter he reminds his children that compassion is the answer to every concern, decision, opportunity and choice in life.
So, why Despised Samaritan?
Because I’ve made enough mistakes in my life to warrant being “despised”.
Because I know it’s rare to fully “fit in” and what it means to sit firmly between two opposing worlds.
Because I have a heart for the outcasts among us.
Because so many of us feel the rejection from popular society.
Because too many people are judged by the mistakes of their ancestors.
Because we can break the cycle of hate, rejection, and apathy.
Because at the end of the day, the one who was truly a neighbor was the one no one expected.
Because despite our flaws and cracks, we are still loved by the One who knows us best.
Because Jesus said to go and do the same.
1 Corinthians 6:20 NLT
[20] for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
Everyone wants the goodness and glory that Jesus has to offer but the Bible reminds us that sometimes to be exalted in heaven you have to be humiliated on Earth. Sometimes you have to be willing to do the thing that's unpopular for the good of everyone over the good and safety of yourself because truth speaks louder than words (1 John 3:18).
God/Jesus died to himself so that he could take all your pain and hate and still say that you're enough and he still wants a relationship with you. Are you willing to do the same?
Thinking: Christianity should not "align itself with progressive movements", but rather, when the Church is being Christ-like, it will be at the head of progressive movements because that is where Christ is. The Scriptures are all about the progression from a state of darkness and chaos and death into a state of goodness and beauty and life. Whether they are the laws from Sinai of Ancient Israel or the Sermon on the Mount of the Early Jesus Movement, progressive revolutions are inherent to the faith.
If something is anti-Christ, against the Anointed One, it is not pro-gressive it is re-gressive.
#amen#truth#the despised samaritan#despised samaritan#something to meditate on#jesus christ#christian#bible#keep the faith#jesus#christianity#faith#faith in jesus#christblr#christian faith#christian blog#christian tumblr#bible verse#bible study#bible scripture#progressive christian#queer christianity#queer christian#lgbt christian#progressive christianity#religion#hate#hurt#politics#follow jesus
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Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.
If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.
I don’t want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.
I hope I choke. They’re lovely, thank you.
Like hell. Likewise. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.
#p5#akeshu#akechi goro#kurusu akira#wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack#it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size#also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks!#i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god#and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo#ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :)#why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute#well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part#hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :)#also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right#so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh)#hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake#ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it.#but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess#anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon
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Treatise on why No, the doctor just giving the narrator of Fight Club (full name) his requested sleep medication or sending him to therapy would not have Fixed Him
Firstly, saying giving him the insomnia meds would’ve fixed him ignores the reason he has insomnia in the first place. He is so deeply upset by his place in society that he literally cannot sleep. Drugging him to sleep would not change that. That, of course, is the easy, quick response.
But with regard to therapy? The biggest flaw is that it ignores a central tenet of the book. Part of what tortures the narrator and drives him to invent Tyler is that his feelings about this collective, systemic issue are constantly reduced to a Just Him thing. His seatmates ask what his company is. He’s the only one upset at the office. He gets weird looks if he says the truth of what he does. People will do anything in their power to pretend he is the issue, as an individual, because it is far scarier to consider the full implications of the systemic issues implied by what he is saying. Everyone treats it as if the issue is him, so he goes insane. He does anything to get someone to say, holy shit, that’s fucked up, what you’re a part of is wrong. In an attempt to feel any sort of vague sympathy and catharsis, he goes to support groups to pretend to be dying, because then at least people don’t habitually blame him for his anguish.
Saying therapy would fix him ignores that his problems are not individual. They are collective. It’s the reason the entire story resonates with people! Something deeply, unignorably wrong with society, where people would rather blame you for bringing it up than try and address it, because it feels impossible. I don’t blame people for this, really, because it IS scary. It’s terrifying to sit and feel like you’ve realized there’s something deeply, deeply wrong, but if you say something, people will get mad at you since it’s so baked into everything around you. Or, even if they agree, it’s easier to deal with the dissonance by pretending it’s individual.
And it’s not like that’s not the purpose therapy and medications largely serve, anyway. Getting into dangerous territory for this website, but ultimately, the reason the narrator was seeking medication was because it’s a bandaid. A very numbing bandaid. For these very large, dissonance causing problems, therapy does very little. Medications do what they always have, and distract you with numbness or side effects. It’s a false solution. He is seeking an individualized false solution because he has been browbeaten with the idea that this is an issue with him alone, when it's plainly clear it's not.
Don't get me wrong. Obviously he has something wrong with him. But it's a product of his situation. It is a fictional exaggeration of a very real occurrence of mental illness provoked by deep unconscionable dissonance and anguish. There is a clear correlation between what happens and his mental state and his job and how isolated he is.
The thing is, even if he were chemically numbed, I do think he would’ve lost it regardless. Many people on meds find they don’t fix things. For reasons I’ll get into, but in this case because even if numbed or distracted, once you’ve learned about deep, far reaching corruption in society, it’s very hard to forget. Especially if, in his case, you literally serve as the acting hand of this particular variety. He’s crawling up the walls.
So why do people say this? Well, it's funny I guess. Maybe the first time or whatever. But also, often, they believe it, to a degree. Maybe they've just been told how effective therapy and meds are for mental illness, they believe wholeheartedly in The Disease Model of Mental Illness, maybe they themselves have engaged with either and have considered it successful. Maybe they or someone they know has been 'saved' by such treatments.
But in all honesty.... What therapy can help with is mentality, it's how you approach problems. For issues on a smaller scale, not meaning they are easier to deal with my any degree, but ones that are not raw and direct from deep awareness of corruption; these are things that can be worked through if you get lucky and get an actually good therapist who helps build up your resiliency. But when your issue is concrete, something large and inescapable? It's useless. At best it can help you develop coping mechanisms, but there is a limit for that. There is a point where that fails. To develop the ability to handle something like this requires intense development of a comfort with ambiguity and dissonance and being isolated and a firm positioning of your purpose and values and and belief in wonder and all the other shit I ramble about. The things that the narrator lacks, which lead him to taking an ineffectual death knell anarchist self-destruction path. Therapy, where the narrator is, full of the knowledge of braces melted to seats and all the people that have to allow this to happen? It fails.
And meds — meds are a fucking scam. We know the working mechanism of basically none of them, the serotonin receptor model was made up and paid its way into prominence. We have very little evidence they're any better than placebo, and they come with genuinely horrific side effects. Maybe you got lucky. I did, on some meds. On others? I don't remember 2018. The pharmaceutical industry is also known for rampant medical ghostwriting, and for creating 'off-label' uses for drugs that have gained too many protests in their original use, then creating a cult of use to then have 'grassroots' campaigns for it to be made a label use (ie, legitimize their ghostwritten articles with guided anecdotes).
The DSM itself is basically a marketing segregation plot. It's an attempt to legitimize the disease model by isolating subgroups of symptoms to propose individualized treatments for subgroups that are not necessarily all that separate. But if the groups exist, you can prescribe more and different medications, no? Not to mention, if you use the disease model, you can propose that these diseases are permanent, or permanent until treated, considered more and more severe to offset and justify the horrific side effects of the medications. Do you know why male birth control doesn't really exist? Same reason. They can justify all the horrible side effects for women, because the other option is pregnancy. For men, it's nothing.
And they're not bothering to invent new drugs without side effects. When they invent new drugs it's just because the last one got too bad of a name, or they can enter a new market. Modern drugs don't work any better than gen1 drugs. They still have horrific side effects. At best, the industry will shit out studies saying the old one was flawed (truth) so they can say this new gen will be better (lie). They're doing it with ssris right now.
Fundamentally, the single proposed benefit of any of these drugs is that they numb you. To whatever is torturing you. It's harder to be depressed if you can't feel it, or if you just can't muster the same outrage. Of course, there is people who find that numbness to be helpful, or worth it. But often, it's stasis. For the people who have problems that can be worked on, it serves as a stopgap to not actually work on said problems. The natural outcome of the disease model is stagnation for those whose need is to develop skills and resiliency. It keeps them medicalized and dependent on the idea that they're diseased and incapable. Profitable. Stuck in the womb.
I’ve been there. It’s easier, to wallow, and resist growth because it’s difficult and painful and unfair and cruel and you can think of five billion reasons to justify your languishing. But don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re just permanently damaged, no matter how nicely they word it, no identity or novel pathologization, no matter how many benefits they promise, especially if they swear up and down some lovely expensive medications with little solid backing and plentiful off-label usage and side effects that’ll kill you. Some days it feels like they want us all stuck in pods, agoraphobic and addicted to the ads they feed us to isolate the markets for the drugs they’ve trained us to beg them to pump us with. Polarization making it as easy as flashing blue light for go, red like for stop, or vice versa. I worry about the kids, for fucks sake. That’s a bit dark and intense, and I apologize. But I want you (generic) to understand, there is a profit motive. Behind everything. And they do not mean well. They do not care about your mental health or your rights or your personhood or your growth. They care about how they can profit off of you.
For those struggling with immovable, society problems, like the narrator grappling with how his job fits into and is accepted by society while his rejection and horror in the face of it does not, it can work about as well as any other drug addiction. Your mileage may vary. From what I've seen, recovering from being on prozac for a long time can be worse than alcohol. They put kids on this shit. They keep campaigning for more. Off label, again. A pharmaceutical company’s favorite thing to do has to be to spread rumors of someone who knows someone who said an off label use of this drug helps with this little understood condition. Or, in the case of mental illness, questionably defined condition. And like, damn, I know I'm posting on the 'medicalization is my identity' website so no one will like all this and has probably stopped reading by now, but yall should be exposed to at least one person who doubts this stuff. Doesn't just trust it. Because I mean, that's the thing right?
It's so big. What would it mean, for this all to be true? Yeah, everyone says pharmaceutical companies are evil and predatory and ghostwriting, but to think about what that really entails. Coming back to the book, everyone knows the car lobby is huge and puts dangerous vehicles through that kill people. What does it mean if the car companies all hire people to calculate the cost of a recall and the cost of lawsuits? No one wants to think about the scale that means for people allowing it or the systems that have to be geared towards money, not safety like they say. Hell, even Chuck misses the beat and has the narrator threaten his boss with the Department of Transportation. And shit, man, if every company is doing this, you think Transportation doesn't know? That they give a fuck? You're better off mailing all the evidence to the news outlets and hoping they only character assassinate you a little bit as they release the news in a way that says it's all the fault of little workers like you, not the whole system. Something something, David McBride, any whistleblower you feel like, etc.
So I don't blame you, if your reaction is "but but but, that can't be right, people wouldn't do it, they wouldn't allow it" or just an overwhelming feeling of dread that pushes you to deny all of this and avoid thinking about it. Just know, that's in the book. That's all the seatmates on the flights. That's all his fellow officemates. It's easier to pretend, I know.
But think about, how the response fits in with the themes of the book. The story, as a movie too. What drives the narrator’s mental breakdown? How would you handle being in his position? How would you handle being his seatmate? It’s easy to say you’d listen. But have you? Have you had any soul wrenching betrayals of how you thought society worked? How about a betrayal by the thing that promised to be the fix of the first? Can you honestly say you wouldn’t follow that gut instinct, saying follow what everyone says, that person must just be crazy, evil, rude, cruel, whatever it is that means you can set what they said aside?
For a lot of people, they can do that, I guess. Set it aside. Reaching that aforementioned state of managing to cope with the dissonance and ambiguity and despair is very hard. The narrator made the Big Realization, but he couldn’t cope. He self-destructed. Even when people don’t make the big realization consciously, they’re already self-destructing. It’s hard to escape it when it feels easier than continuing anyway. When it feels like the only option,
Would therapy fix the narrator of Fight Club? Would meds fix the narrator of Fight Club? No. He knows too much. All meds will do, by the time he’s in the psych ward, is spiritually neuter him. A silly phrase, but really. Take the wind out of his sails.
Is he fixed if he doesn’t try to blow up town? If he just shuts up and settles in and stops costing money? If he still can’t cope with the things he’s unearthed? Do you see how this is a commentary in a commentary in a commentary?
Fight Club is an absolutely fascinating story because of this. The fact that it addresses the fallout of knowing. The isolation. The hopelessness. The spiral that results from a lack of hope. This is, I think, what resonates most with people, even if not consciously. Going insane because you’ve discovered something you wish you could unknow. It’s a classic horror story. Should our society be lovecraftian evil? I don’t think so.
Do I think changing it will be easy? No. Lord knows a lot exists to push people who make these sorts of Realizations towards feelings of individuality and individualized solutions and denial and other distractions and coping methods. And to prevent people who make One realization from expanding on it and considering further ramifications. Fight Club itself gets into this; the isolation of men being a strict part of the role society shapes for their sex leaves them very vulnerable to death fetishes, in a sense, and generally towards self destructive violence. It helps funnel them away from substantial change and towards ineffectual change. Many things, misogyny, racism, serve to keep people isolated from one another, individualized, angry, and impossible to work with. Market segregation; god knows even appealing on those fronts has become such a classic ploy that companies do it now, the US military frames its plundering that way, etc.
I’ve wandered a bit but ultimately, my point is this: Fight Club is a love letter to the horrors of critical thinking, and the importance of not falling into the trap of self destruction and hopelessness in the face of it. The latter is why Tyler was an anarchoterrorist instead of anything useful. The latter is why it was a death cult. It’s important to work through the horrors of critical thinking so you can do it, and stand on the other side ready to believe in each other. It’s worth it.
#fight club#my writing#uh. sorta#If you disagree with me it's fine btw. That's a given for me but I realize that's not usual for this website#my big desire is always to provoke thought and get people to think about why they think things#not necessarily to get them to agree with me. though obviously like any person i enjoy that#it was nice to type this out#also#aside from the prozac withdrawals mention and my own experience w memory loss (hilariously not even the most major of my beefs with the#medical industry! or even just the mental health industry! but its an easy nonoffensive one so#anyway i kept it nonspecific because if you go specific it becomes easier for people to just go 'oh well its That that's the problem and i#dont need to reflect at all on my drug/condition/issue/etc'#which ppl will anyway ofc. but yk#maybe theyll find it easier to ignore without the horrific specific examples but i want to leave it broad because 1. doing research and#going past the first thing you find and confirmation bias stuff is good 4 u#second. it's better imo to leave it more open for people to try and apply it broadly#whew ANYWAY#a bonafide Rant#i shouldve put#anti psychiatry#in the first few tags. i havent really looked on tumblr to see what the community 4 that is like on here because it feels like an oxymoron#on this website#but im sure it probably exists even if its used for smth else#(please change)
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Howdy peepers, I've been feeling pretty down lately but I think I'm on the right path to snap out of it!
See yall on monday hopefully
#to be honest recent political news got me anxious and just.. disheartened#not gonna lie rather depressed#but i guess that's a normal reaction#god it's just so awful#change of subject- i might be a bit burned out too because of all the stressing i subjected myself to this month#but worries be damned my grades ain't overall half bad#THO you just can't catch a break when it comes to college it seems#like we have to sign up for our classes on this website#based on your major obviously#and some people just don't pick the right classes hhhhh#and you see the waiting list for the class you need to sign up to is full because the goofs don't know what their course code is#which is weird like 😭 maybe there's a GOOD reason why your group mates' names aren't on the class list#because you didn't pick the right one aaaaaa#get outta here fella pleaaase#also on an unrelated note: it turns out i have a mild case of rosacea#it's not that suprising skin conditions run in the family#my mom's side of family at least#like my grandpa had rosacea. my mom has it too. my sister had acne (not anymore tho). my older brother too has something going on#i just thought i got lucky and inherited my dad's skin but guess not 💀#funniest thing is that almost everything makes rosacea act up#heat? cold? spicy food? stress? exercise? stress? alcohol? GODDAMN SUNLIGHT???#you name it#so yeahh not pleasant#if it won't get better mom will make an appointment with a dermatologist#uhh.. i guess that's all i wanted to say#for now at least#miss you guys hope all of you have been doing well :'>#random squeak
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The stupid streaming service website has decided that I am forbidden from watching Ted Lasso, specifically. I have tried six times and every time there is some sort of critical error. Usually it just freezes but on one memorable occasion everything was in French and it wouldn't let me change the language preferences.
#this is not a streaming website anyone's likely to have heard of. it's called simply the best tv (it's the worst actually) and you get it if#you have starlink internet. which is unfortunately the least malfunctioning internet option if you live in the middle of nowhere like#my parents do. anyways it has nearly every show and movie you can think of BUT it only works half the time. infuriating.#like everything elon musk and his associates have ever created it's very ambitious and egregiously fails to deliver#hylian rambles#it never works in firefox. i have to use edge. i hate edge.#and its search engine requires that you spell everything perfectly or you'll get no results#it has the bare minimum of buttons and settings and no captions ever. or language settings! that's why i couldn't get it out of french!#it's horribly organized so you gotta know exactly what you're looking for or you'll never find anything good amidst the heap of stuff#also no one in my family has ever intentionally watched things in french on here. even though my sibling speaks it. they just don't bother#to fight with this thing because it's Simply The Worst
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She will not come,
She was torn apart by dogs,
Her hands were not ready for a fight,
And she did not desire to win
I will now be
Instead of her
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Hi, meet Noel (she/he), whom i decided would fit perfectly for my dark urge bg3 playtrough 🤭
The way I see it... the him before the nautiloid is dead, and the him after the nautiloid will make sure it Stays That Way.
She is here now, she won, she was the one to claw her way to the surface of the body they share, and she will maim anyone who threatens her newfound existence.
Resisting the urges not out of fear, but out of Spite💁♀️
and as always..............this was drawn with a song in mind:
youtube
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 dark urge#bg3 durge#tw blood#tw gore#i guess#noel dao oc#what if i tore you apart 😳and we were both the same person#i mean not the SAME same but u get the idea#bg3 character creator did not give me a shitty little mustache so ALAS she has to be mustachless in game#but its there ITS THERE#anyway. next in the programming are way more hinged bg3 arts planned so stay tuned?#lots more i could say. this was. AN EXPERIENCE.#considered cutting all but the very first one bcs i stared at it so long i started hating it#still not 100% on board but its here its done i am letting it out like a wild bird who has been thru rehabilitation n is now returrning to#the wild#ennjoyy#HEY TUMBLR???FUCKING TUMBLR?? WHY ARE YOU FUCKING UP THE TEXT FORMATTING. WEBSITES GONE TO SHIT CANT EVEN MAKE THE TEXT ITALICIZED PROPERLY
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I’m finding that the laziest moments of Doctor Who’s writing are the ‘retroactive twists’ - when the show runner reveals something happened way back over there, in the past, before they were even running the show. And we swear it happened, way over there, far back, and you didn’t see it because of reasons but it’s definitely been happening! And it totally makes sense and I absolutely didn’t just pull it out my ass to justify my paper thin plotline! All this kind of writing does is make me miss self contained season length plots. We’ve had people complaining that Moffat was guilty of the “this thing is big and scary and it’s going to happen, oh god it’s showing up, we’re going to discover what it truly is….. next season!!!!!!” plotline (and yes. he was. twelve is my fav doctor but yeah Moffat loved a mysterious horse and a big stick) but now suddenly when RTD gets out his own mysterious horse and a big stick, it’s got to be genius! everything is eventually going to make sense! and we’re absolutely not being had by a man who used to be able to write this show and is now a hack!
#FUCK OFF RUSSELL#write a good show or go home christ alive#it’s just nostalgia glasses. we could get an episode where all 10 does is sit in a daybed and list the symptoms of shingles#and a lot of people on this website would be falling over themselves to try say that yeah it’s not good! it’s not well written! but it’s fun#and obviously that’s all doctor who needs to be. fun! not good or interesting or well written or good scifi but fun. just mediocre mush fun.#im sorry that you love dave 10nant so much (name censor bc tbf this ain’t his fault he’s just here)#that you cannot handle admitting that RTD is bad at his job now or that bringing 10 back as 14 was a shit idea#and that plotline was boring and kinda dumb#but it’s true. it’s gone downhill. RTD does not know what this show is anymore#and I frankly think he’s gone from a fanboy being able to write his dw dreams and make them episodes#from a man who views this show as his little pet project that sprung him into success#the best episodes are written by people who love this show. adore it. think of it as something big and grand#and are so thrilled that they get to add part of themselves to it with their stories and words#it’s why he used to be good. and now he doesn’t really care anymore and it shows.#it’s why my favourite doctor is my favourite doctor (and probably why people adore 9 + 10)#because you can feel the love exuding from every performance. it’s a childhood dream. there’s not time to waste a second of it.#sorry but this season was bad and the overarching story was bad#and the Christmas special is going to be bad. because it hinges on the idea we’re going to ‘find out more next time!’#shut up and tell me now. or at least in the season. ‘ooh ruby’s snow power will be explained next season’ NO! EXPLAIN IT NOW#doctor who#dw#dw negativity#rtd2 era#rtd2#rtd
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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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for every "how dare you plan to spend money out of your entertainment budget while i, a complete stranger to you, am still poor" post i see i am buying another $3 worth of crabs
#look. i get that people in bad financial situations are tetchy#which is why i talked myself out of reblogging several stupid posts#but this is just the 'how dare poor people buy starbucks' argument except coming from other poor people#if you wouldn't begrudge a fellow poor person their sugary coffee just because you yourself don't have a coffee budget this week#then shut the fuck up about people wanting to give up a week's coffee to maybe help a website they enjoy#'if everybody donated to my kofi instead of to tumblr then i wouldn't be poor anymore'#yeah probably but also no one knows who you are and you're not specialer than any of the other poor ppl who enjoy this site#meanwhile we ALL know what tumblr is. because we live here#it's like 'why did they donate to save the savings & loan instead of to the individuals in the town who had loans out'#also. why does everyone think that solving the moderation problem is free!!!#that shit is very hard work! it's not a solved problem algorthmically at all#this site has 200 employees and 21 million posts a DAY#crab day#tumblr meta#dove.txt
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most interesting popular accounts to me are the ones that just post stuff like gifsets or art or writing but never ever say anything, like no tag rambles, no personal posts, no opinions, no rants. im always like surely.... surely you have something to say....
#idgi#like its so boring yeah your posts are pretty or what have you but give me someone who talks and makes stuff only half as pretty#and im gonna prefer them bc i can see some personality behind it#idk maybe im just mean but its intriguing#esp since ive followed a bunch of blogs for the new thing im into and so many of them are like this#also on the rare occasions they do say stuff the posts never get notes#or replies and meanwhile they just posted a thanks for 9k followers post#i dont see the point of 9 thousand people if no one talks EVER#ALSO EVIDENTLY THEY WANT TO TALK BC MY ASS CANNOT BE STOPPED FROM REPLYING#and then they be out here following me even tho im some lil nobody so like#they must be like yay! someones talking!#again whats the point of this website if we dont reply and reblog and talk and have fun bro#see again this just makes me squint bc its like a lot of big influencer ig accs who just post perfectly edited pics and sell shit#and never say a word that could get in the way of a sponsorship#why are you acting like that on tumblr you dont even get money from being popualr here lmao
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im probably going to make a new post to pin about our immigration soon im still so embarrassed that every bit of progress we've made has been like trying to hold fistfuls of sand. god. but I'll make it more succinct or whatever and maybe delve into where we're going finally and shit. idk
#weve had to go back 3 different times to the cop house to get his ID complications worked out#and then a cop fucking confiscated MINE for being trans so now i have to go back and start#the qhole waiting game AGAIN to get my stupid fucking female ID in the mail instead#and then we have to drive HOURS to go get our marriage license anywhere that isnt HERE!!!!!!#AND THEN!!!!!!! well finally have the fucking PRIVILEGE of paying hundreds of dollars for our passports GREAT#i want to rip my HAIR OUT that there have been so many issues bc ALL of them have been bc of the fucking state troopers office#they have the wrong information on their website theyre mean theyre stupid they delight in shit going wrong#and that sounds like hyperbole but weve both been LAUGHED AT and the cop who told lo he cant have an M ID#like theyre nasty and unhelpful and thats why its taken this long bc lo needed help w smtn they just. wouldn't. help with.#and maryland just. wouldnt. help with.#and its like so what are we supposed to fuckjng do? exactly?#raagahsgsgshgghgg im just so. mad and irritated and annoyed#you wont work with us bc were visibly queer but we only need this shit to LEAVE so GET OVER IT AND HELP!
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well! that project's out of my brain now :) now what
#just me hi#“now what” i have tide in there now and i am not going to post much about them lmao#or maybe i will i dunno! but some things stay the most fun when they're secrets ehe :3#//a lot of weather has been happening recently huh#lot more than i'm used to anyway lol - and why's it gotta be so humid out here like C'mon hghf#the air. is Thick. and Wet. like a toad#//Oh but i've been having so much fun drawing recently lol :D#it started getting flat and really boring for some reason to where it felt like i was doing it like a chore - just a motion to keep the#gears running ykno? but yeah i've been enjoying it a lot more these past so many days :D !#i didn't even really notice it until i realized i had zoned in on a comic i was drawing and hadn't considered working on anything else hfsh#//also i've been playing with that music box app/website again - i should prolly use a real music program but none of them are like this#thing ykno? cuz i just tip tap and Boom the sound i need is Right There !! :>#i tried soundtrap i really did but man it's a lot hhhghf#i don't like how it's set up unfortunately. oh well!#i need like minimal clutter or i Die. Gruesomely hbfsh - just what i need and nothing less nothing more. it's a balance#/despite that i am Really Bad at passively organizing things lol - and when i try i just misplace things like crazy. scavenger hunts are a#guarantee lol :)#//i'm still struggling spell guarantee btw but oo am i getting close !! hfshbh#it's the second A it always trips me up#that does not sound like an A. i believe that's identity fraud my friend [<- aggressive squinting]#//anyway sun's out i'm inside and i'm going to listen to music forever#/do you think there are electric guitars in the heavenly choir? hm!#//anyway back to my wanderings!! toodles toodles :D
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Buggering fuck children I am BEGGING you to get an icon or a blog heading banner or SOMETHING to distinguish yourself from the bots. I almost blocked two new Actual People Followers because I thought y’all were bots until I noticed you had actual reblogs that made sense on your accounts (fortunately they loaded faster than I could click the block-and-report button because I was actively moving to hit it when I saw your posts!) and I already have blocked at least two others before I noticed but you look like bots and if you look like bots then people are going to instinctively block you like bots because we are in the middle of the Great Bot War of 2023 and if you are walking around dressed like the enemy we will block-and-report your asses before we notice you are not bots because YOU ARE DRESSED LIKE BOTS please PLEASE put on some Actual People Garb like an icon or something for fuck’s sake.
#tumblr#new users#new to tumblr#new to tumblr guide#the great bot war#internet#like i don't mean to shout but COME ON why are you still being like this#seriously just get a still from your favorite movie or tv show or grab a quote you like and put it on a pretty color background or SOMETHING#this is the Idiots Talking About Idiot Shit They Like website please get yourself some Idiot Shit You Like and give yourself an Identity#i don't understand the ''you can't make me have an icon/reblog things/etc'' attitude i keep seeing#what are you here for then? what are you getting out of this website? why don't you want to have fun?#i'm trying to HELP YOU okay it does me absolutely zero good to ''have followers'' this is TUMBLR#i'm not like ''oh no i blocked a real person so i just lost a follower boo hoo!'' no buddy there's no CLOUT on tumblr#i'm not making money off influencer shit this is the anti influencer website follower counts are empty numbers#i am trying to help YOU not get blocked by every blog you want to follow#insert gandalf ''i am not trying to rob you i'm trying to help you'' gif HEAVY SIGH#excuse me i need to go over here and yell at this cloud for a while brb
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