#what a fantastic scene

[misakarose]

LINK CLICK 2.10    ↳ 「 i m p r o v i s e 」

[daisyachain]

O Captain, My Captain

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

At your side [End of Season 2]

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[aashiyancha]

Step 1

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It's been some beautiful spring days that made me think of the summer to come. So, I decided to give this game another whirl

Also peak summer moment. I wanted Jeremy to come back just so I could pour another cup on him.

[bixels]

Watched Rear Window last week. Went a little overboard on what was supposed to be a simple expression/design study.

Maybe one of the most bone-chilling scenes in film.

Individual shots:

[whenthelightisrunninglow]

remembered @hehe-hoho-ohno's misfits au it's sooooo good and i love it. CHEERS AND APPLAUSE. YAY

[fagulaa]

Something I really love about the Silt Verses is how, in a world of gods and monsters, how grounded Faulkner's trauma [and relationship with his father] is. Especially as the season moves on, and the stakes amp up [and up] its so unexpectedly piercing to be presented with this exploration of childhood abandonment/negligence, inter-generational trauma, the indignities and stress that comes with unexpected elder care/early onset Alzheimer's. You're so locked in to these grander, more abstract concepts that your defenses are down! Mine were, anyway. TSV is so good at cutting its grand, complex plotlines with simpler [but not shallower] gutpunches, and it just grounds the whole thing.

[lizzieraindrops]

You know what, I figured out why we're having so many errors in Destiny 2 now. It's because with the addition of Micah-10, we've finally reached a critical mass of women with drop dead gorgeous voices, and the game simply can't handle it anymore. It's like Telesto. Too powerful. If they'd actually put Ikora Rey in a rendered cutscene for more than 5 seconds it would have shut down the servers for good

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Y'know, it's unfortunate more people don't compare Louis and Violet in good faith.

Like, when I do see people compare them, it's usually through the lens of one is good, and the other bad. One is more canon than the other, and here's why. One is objectively better for Clementine, and the other is less impactful, worse written, didn't have chemistry with her, insert several insults here, etc.

I don't think it's inherently bad to express why you might not like one of them, or why you prefer one over the other. That's fine, that's a matter of opinion. It only gets to me when it becomes hostile, or passive aggressive... but even then, I've learned to just roll my eyes and move on. Some people make it very clear that they're not worth having a discussion with.

However, I wish I could read more nuanced comparisons of the two that didn't default to the "and that's why this one is better." At least some are kind enough to tack on a "for my Clementine" at the end.

You know how it goes: Louis is cute and he makes Clementine laugh, whereas Violet's boring, her love is shallow, she's still not over Minerva and she's using Clementine as a rebound. Violentine's a bad ship because Violet's actually a traitor, and they're practically the same person and that's bad.

Violet's loyal and reliable, whereas Louis is annoying, he never takes anything serious, he's a traitor for his vote, and he's nothing but a distraction. Clouis is a bad ship because how could any Clementine possibly like him after he voted her and AJ out? That's bad!

That's always the conclusion, right? One good, one bad.

This is incredibly limiting and it drives me nuts.

They're foils. They contrast one another, highlight each other's strengths and flaws, in such an interesting way that it makes Clementine's choice between them all the more meaningful.

One is not good and the other bad, they're different, and I think that's worth exploring.

Let's start with a common argument: Violet is the more impactful option due to her connection to Minerva.

Now, to be fair, I can understand why someone on Team Violet would believe this. Yes, it's true that the confrontation with Minerva is more impactful for a violentine shipper who has more investment in Violet as a character. Louis doesn't have as strong of a connection to her.

However, what they're failing to recognize is that Minerva isn't the only ghost to haunt this narrative. Violet may have Minerva, yes, but Louis has Marlon... and that doesn't just go away once Marlon's dead.

Violet's route has Minerva as her ex-girlfriend, and her bond with Tenn that all comes to a head on the bridge. Louis' route has Marlon's death and how that specifically impacts his relationship with AJ and Clementine, and the slow burn of forgiveness on all sides.

Marlon and Minerva are also reflective of Clementine's worst outcomes.

Clementine and Marlon were tied together through Brody's blood splattered on their hands and faces. They both killed a part of Brody, but only one of them lies about who killed her first.

After Marlon dies, Clementine gradually replaces him throughout the game; Rosie is her dog now, she uses his bow [which Louis gave her], she becomes the leader. Clementine gets them to fight back, and when three of her people are captured, she doesn't cut her losses. She does what Marlon couldn't; "we're getting them back."

When she chooses Louis, he does for her what he never did for Marlon: he steps up.

Clementine proves she won't become Marlon just as she proves she won't become Minerva.

After getting James to agree to help them, Clementine and AJ talk about what to do if she ever gets bit. AJ says he'd want her to bite him, too. He repeats this sentiment after she's actually bitten, telling her he wants to stay and they could turn together, peacefully.

When Minerva confronts them on the bridge, she's dying... and she wants Tenn to die with her. She doesn't care who she has to kill in the process. She's more monster than human at this point, and most times, she succeeds.

They're both bitten. Clementine could've become a monster like Minerva in the end. She could've killed AJ, and they could've become walkers together. But she didn't. Minerva wanted Tenn to die for her, and Clementine wanted AJ to live for her.

Also, I should mention she has Minerva's axe. She carries the key weapons associated with Marlon and Minerva throughout different points in the game, further solidifying these connections. She uses Marlon's bow to save her friends, and she uses Minerva's axe to save AJ, who in turn uses it to save her.

What's also so interesting about this is how Marlon's alive in episode one, and Minerva is thought to be dead. Louis has his best friend, and Violet's lost hers. But, at the end of the episode, Marlon's dead and Minerva's revealed to be alive.

Marlon becomes the ghost, and Minerva becomes the monster. Clementine becomes to Louis and Violet what Marlon and Minerva never could... how does that not drive anyone else insane?

So, no. One is not objectively better, or more impactful, because of a connection to Marlon or Minerva. They're different. It just depends on which storyline you personally find more compelling.

Actually, let's talk about that a little more.

In my opinion, the most intriguing point of comparison between Louis and Violet stems from their perceptions of survival, and how that impacts Clementine.

An argument I see made against violentine is that Violet's boring because she and Clementine are too similar. This usually comes from clouis shippers who prefer the "opposites attract" dynamic Clementine and Louis have.

On the flip side, there's the counter argument that Louis is reckless, that he doesn't take survival as seriously as he should and Clementine wouldn't want him because of that.

These are interesting to me because I get where they're coming from... but they ultimately miss the point.

The other day, I replayed TFS. Except this time, I did something a little bit differently. I played my usual clouis route, but then I had the violentine route pulled up on my laptop so that I could watch these scenes, comparing them side by side… and something occurred to me. 

Louis is about challenging Clementine's perception of survival, and Violet is about validating it.

Louis challenges Clementine from the very moment we meet him—he’s playing music. His initial philosophy on survival butts heads with Clementine’s. The fact that hunting with him and Aasim challenges your perception of “your choices have consequences.” These games have conditioned the player to think along the lines of, “Yeah, Louis is more fun… but if I don’t hunt with Aasim, we won’t have any food.”

Except that’s just it. I hate to say it, Aasim, but in the grand scheme of things… hunting with you doesn’t matter. It's actually less rewarding. You know why? Because in the next section, we get food from the train station. It would’ve been more beneficial to spend time with Louis over hunting, hence how he challenges you.  

This then primes you for the choice between choosing to follow Louis or follow Violet. I know people complain about how this is presented with Violet doing something productive [checking the walls] and Louis playing piano… but that’s the point. If you’re going through with Louis’ full route, you need to meet him at his level, and in turn, he will meet you at yours. You need to accept the challenge, the idea that Clementine isn’t entirely right about the way she’s gone about survival.

Oh, and do I even need to mention the vote? The debate over Louis’ vote is exhausting. Often times, people tell on themselves in how they talk about it. It’s not actually about the fact that he voted against them. If it was, these people would have a bigger bone with pick with Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Omar… and yet Louis is the one who takes all the blame as if he’s the only one personally kicking them out. 

Louis is reacting to the death of his best friend, and the complicated feelings that come with it being caused by AJ. He wants accountability, even if he knows something's wrong. You can either agree with him that it was murder, and set AJ on the path of atonement… or, you can double down and tell him to fuck off, AJ was justified. 

But here’s the thing… the vote adds to the appeal of Louis’ route. To someone who hates him, or at the very least is critical of his vote, that sounds mad or delusional.

Except it’s really not.

Ever heard of a thing called tension? Because there’s a lot of it in ep2 between clouis + AJ and it’s fantastic.

Yes, Louis voting them out is problematic because we need a problem to solve. We need something to feed the tension between him and Clementine. He stepped in front of a gun held by his best friend in order to protect her, forever changing their relationship… only for that to seemingly be taken away from us the moment AJ shoots Marlon. 

Yes, Louis’ route is about being challenged, but it’s also about challenging him. That he’s able to forgive them, that he’s able to question his own survival philosophy and understand theirs, that he’s able to apologize and actually change for the better… that right there is what makes clouis so damn good. 

He becomes hardened whereas Clementine softens. By the end of the game, they’re on a similar level now without neglecting their differences, and they can move forward together. 

That’s what makes Louis’ route appealing… and it’s also what makes it unappealing to people who prefer Violet. 

By contrast, Violet’s already on Clementine’s level when it comes to this perception of survival. She validates that Clementine’s on the right path.

They have other similarities in the way that they’re both female, queer, they both have a kid they look after, they’re not always great with other people, etc. 

People who prefer Louis might consider this boring, but I think to Team Violet, it’s comforting. It’s comforting to have a partner who takes this as seriously as you do, who wants to get shit done. They’re playing Clementine with a similar attitude, and don’t believe it needs to be challenged. It’s comforting to feel validated on something you already firmly believe in. 

We also see this if we compare the hunting and fishing scenes. You have to make an effort to choose Louis by choosing to neglect hunting, but the game makes you fish with Violet no matter what.

Violet’s prioritizing fishing because they need food. That’s what they’ve set out to do, so let’s do it. The game is letting you know that’s the case, and if you value that, continue pursuing her. 

While fishing, they discuss why things are weird with her and Brody. Violet doesn’t take well to Clementine’s blunt, “Because you make it weird. Brody tries and you just make fun of her."

That’s understandable because I think she already kind of knows why and is looking to have her feelings validated. She prefers it when Clementine suggests that it’s because Brody never said sorry for what happened to the twins. 

There’s also comfort and validation in the way Violet sides with Clementine and AJ after Marlon’s death. She votes for them to stay, vocalizing how much she disapproves of the results. There’s this feeling that I recognize from a lot of the sapphic romance I read; “it’s you and me against the world, I’ll always have your back, even if you’re in the wrong, I’ll fight for you.”

In our case, it’s violentine + AJ against the rest of Ericson, save Tenn and Aasim. Violet validates that AJ was justified because Marlon was a liar and murderer, claiming that AJ and Clementine did nothing wrong. Violet fights to keep them. 

The tension between violentine in ep2 is different because instead of one pushing the other away, they’re being forced apart by the vote and there’s nothing they can do about it. That tension is somewhat released when Clementine comes back and they’re reunited, working out a plan to best defend the school. 

It’s also why Violet’s presented as doing something productive when you follow her instead of Louis, and why she asks if you want to hang out after checking the defenses. 

All that being said, allow me to reiterate that one is not good and the other bad, they're different. These concepts of challenge and change/validation and comfort exist on a neutral road as diverging paths. It’s up to the player to pick what path they prefer, but that doesn’t mean the other path isn’t worth acknowledging or analyzing. 

I should also mention that they’re not exclusive; there is overlap with validation being present in Louis’ route and challenges in Violet’s. They’re just more present in episodes 3 and 4 after we’ve made our decision. 

There are several more examples of how this all fits together, buuuuut–

Ya’ll wanna compare some allegories?

Those familiar with my content might already know where I’m going with this as I’ve made a post about Louis and the piano in the past. 

You see, I believe that there are allegories for Louis and Violet’s hearts present in their routes: Louis’ piano, and Violet’s pin. 

I already have a thorough, in-depth analysis of Louis and the piano that you can read, so all I’ll say about it is that on the night of the raid, he asked Clementine to carve a piece of herself into his heart so that no matter what, their initials will be immortalized together in its wood…

And that makes me fucking feral. 

But I'm also so normal about it.

As for Violet, her heart is the star gazing pin she gives to Clementine. She gives it to her so she’ll always remember that night… but she doesn’t give it to her until after Clementine’s saved her, and that fascinates me in the context of it being allegory. 

Louis asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart right before the raid, cementing that from that moment on, he is utterly devoted to her. I believe this is part of the reason why Louis is still happy to see her if he’s the one who’s captured. Yes, yes, he’s also incredibly traumatized from having his tongue cut out and he’d be happy to see anyone, yada yada… but listen, if you romance Louis and he’s captured, his heart remains with her—that piano with their intitals is on full display. When he sees her, he’s still so devoted to her that he refuses to accept that it’s at all her fault. Even when she says it is, he shakes his head... and he so easily accepts her when they’re together in the end. From the moment Clementine puts knife to wood, he’s hers. 

Now, look… you might think I’m going somewhere not great with this but hear me out. 

I think after Clementine’s gone star gazing with her, Violet is fully ready to give her heart to her. Y’know, give her the pin. But, think about what Violet said about how people have left, but Clementine came back. Plus, with the impending raid to think about, maybe Violet should keep the pin until the right moment. 

I believe a key difference between her and Louis is that Violet needs one last thing to solidify that Clementine’s the one. 

Louis gives her his heart prior to the raid because of everything that’s already gone down between them following Marlon’s death. Violet needs to know that Clementine’s willing to fight for her the way she fought before. When Clementine saves her from the raiders, it’s solidified. Even after she sees Minerva again, it changes nothing.

It’s also worth noting that the pin is something Clementine wears. Like the piano carving, it’s a piece on display for everyone to see, to let them know whose heart Clementine has.

Violet literally handed Clementine her heart as a means of saying, “I’m yours. I’m devoted to you.” 

This is why romanced/captured Violet is devastating, and is why she behaves the way she does in the cells. She was so ready to give her heart away and then nope, sorry, Vi! You get knocked unconscious by raiders instead! 

If anything, you kind of deserve to be told to fuck off if you romanced her and then let her get captured. Just sayin’. 

Look, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the captured violentine route, mostly with Violet being as forgiving as she is after her eyes are burned—yes, yes, I know, her eyes are burned and Minerva messed with her head so of course now she’s not hostile, yada, yada. 

But I think it’s rather telling that you don’t get the pin in this route. Sure, Violet’s willing to forgive and possibly pursue this romance in the future… but she’s not ready to hand over her heart, not truly. Not after everything that’s happened. 

And if you want to get extra angsty about it, imagine that Violet made the pin right after they parted ways, but before the raiders came. Meaning that if she’s captured, it’s possibly still sitting somewhere, abandoned. 

Mmhmmm, very normal about this. I feel normal. My normalness about this continues... normally. I'm not losing my shit thinking about that. Nope. Why would I? I wouldn't! So normal.

Okay just let me talk about their reactions to Tenn's death and then I'll shut up.

This makes me want to gnaw my own foot off, I can barely handle it.

AJ shoots Tenn on the bridge because Clementine trusted him to make the hard calls. This saves Louis or Violet's life.

When Louis jumps across, he's completely silent as he watches Tenn die... and then he's pissed; "What the fuck?! How could you just shoot him like that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for him, and Louis is so upset that he forces AJ to look at what he's done, to watch the walkers eat Tenn; "Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that?! Look! [...] He's... he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone."

If Clementine says AJ saved his life, Louis says, "So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?"

If Clementine says nothing, Louis says, "Tenn was just a little boy!"

The reason Louis responds this way is because in this moment, he just relived Marlon's death all over again, but worse. So, SO much worse!

When Violet jumps across, she breaks down, begging, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no! No, no, no..." as she watches Tenn die... and then says to AJ, "No! What the fuck?! How could you do that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for her, and Violet is faaaar from okay; "For me? I can't... Tenn is gone! That soft little boy who liked to draw, he's gone, because of you!"

If Clementine says AJ saved her life, Violet says, "You think that's okay?! Just gunning down one of our own?!"

And there it is.

Louis is hardened in this situation because he already went through this... Violet hasn't, not with AJ. She softened up throughout her route due to her relationships to him and Clementine... but this is the moment where she realizes that maybe AJ wasn't as justified as she believed, and this is the consequence.

This leads us to the ending where AJ asks if they're still mad about him killing Tenn, and I just... I'm biting my foot right now because the script has flipped.

Louis is forgiving and understanding. He's soft, he's sympathetic, he shakes AJ's hand to let him know that all is forgiven and they're okay; "I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it. [...] Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?"

Or, alternatively, "He was your friend, AJ. I know you are hurting just as much as I am."

As for Violet? She's understanding, too... but she's not quite ready to forgive yet; "The thing you said on the bridge...that he was messing up all the time. It wasn't something new, you know. Tenn got himself or other people into trouble all the time, long before you guys got here. He was always so lost. He lived in a world that just...isn't there, you know? And that's why I tried to look after him. But when I was pulling him away from the walkers, and Minnie, I could also see...he just wasn't there anymore."

"So you're mad, but sad."

"Can I be that for a while?"

And it's completely understandable that she's hurting and struggling with how she feels about AJ moving forward! She wants to be okay, she wants to forgive him, she just needs time.

Now, because I'm forever bitter, but I'm gonna mention this as well: whenever I see someone point at Violet's scene and say, "See!? This is how LOUIS should've acted in ep2!" like... they're telling on themselves again. Not just that they don't understand Louis as a character or his route, but that they don't fully grasp Violet's part in this either. Or time frames, for that matter.

Let me put it to you in simple terms... they react the same.

After Marlon and Tenn die, they're upset. They're pissed. They blame AJ and yell at him. After they've had time to process what happened [Louis after the two week time skip, Violet after time passes between the bridge and the ending] they share the same, "I'm still upset about Marlon/Tenn. Can I be that for a while and still be your friend?" sentiment.

The difference is that Louis is treated poorly for it because of the vote, and because we feel it first hand for longer... Violet got to grieve off screen and come back after she's sorted herself out.

It's a disservice to both of their characters because it's rooted in that same mentality that I criticized at the beginning: "This is why one is better than the other."

Do I need to say it again? I'm gonna say it again.

One is not good and the other bad. They're different.

There are so many fun discussions that could come from putting Louis and Violet side by side, and examining them. I haven't even covered the different ways they're introduced, or compared their ep3 dates to see what it says about them and the overall narratives! What about the cell scenes!? How they react when Dorian's about the cut off their fingers! The way they approach James upon meeting him!

That last one in particular is especially funny! They're all under stress about blending in with a herd of walkers to infiltrate a boat to save their friends, and yet Louis easily saunters up to the guy wearing walker skins with a smile, and makes him laugh by saying, "Functional and fashionable. I'll take two."

Violet approaches James like he's an injured wild animal that's going to bite her, and bless her heart, she tries with, "I, uh… hey. Hey there, James. Sorry about Willy." Then James gives her this judgmental side-eye, like buddy? She's not the weirdo here.

There is so much potential to dissect here, and I want to see people do it... but I want them to do it fairly, in good faith.

I want to get away from the idea of comparing them to "prove" which is better because there is no objective better. There isn't! That's a waste of time!

I'm so done with The Debate™; it's unhelpful, it's annoying, and it's boring as shit. I've heard it all before, and you probably have, too.

I want to put Louis and Violet under a microscope and study them with the thought process of, "one does this and the other does that... what does it mean!? what does it say about the narrative!? Oh my god, they have the same opinion on this thing, WRITE THAT DOWN!"

So yeah, that's my ramble for the night.

I'm gonna go replay TFS for further research.

[travelingtwentysomething]

I need to know if literally anyone else has seen any of the interviews for Gladiator 2 press, and if you've noticed any tension between the cast? Especially between Paul Mescal and Joseph Quinn and possibly Pedro Pascal because I have a theory that Joseph Quinn "stole the show" you know, and this was supposed to be Paul's big moment as the star of the movie. And maybe he didn't like it and is being petty about it or something behind the scenes?

I watched an interview with Paul Mescal and Denzel Washington for Vogue and Denzel said he learned to be humble from Paul and Paul looked like he couldn't look Denzel in the eye when he said that. And I feel like Joseph has been taken off some of the press even though I know he's shooting for Marvel, but it seems like they're really not putting them together on purpose. Also saw some sort of promo with Paul and Pedro where Pedro said something like I hate that it has to be said but Paul is amazing in this or something to that effect, and there was some tension. And it was right after the premiere when everyone started talking about how Denzel and Joseph Quinn stole the show. I also saw an interview with Mescal and Fred Hechinger where Paul said they had good energy today but if it was yesterday it would have been thumbs down energy, and then I saw interviews with Joseph and Fred paired up that were from the day before, and the way Fred looked when Paul made that comment made me think that that was some sort of negative comment against Joe. Am I reading too much into this? Am I making this up? I just feel like I see some sort of tension and I'm reading it because my intuition lighting up like a klaxon.

Did you see that interview where they were all together and playing that friendship quiz game and Joseph said that Pedro said Joseph was his favorite actor and Pedro said that he "said that he was special and that can mean many things" and Joe looked kind of sad and then Pedro kind of got in his way and blocked him from the camera for the rest of the next portion of the interview, like maybe there's a issue with Pedro and Joe or something, or Paul and Joe and maybe Pedro's in the middle of it all? I'm just so confused about all of this but I just am sensing the tension.

This has been a random rant. If anyone is sensing what I'm sensing please comment on this I need to know that I'm not crazy or if I am whatever

[midnightdemonhunter]

Consumed.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm sorry I let down my guard.

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[shortnotsweet]

Henry Danger Anon again and I AGREE I have a lot of thoughts about the more serious repercussions Ray's behavior had on Henry and the others as a whole. My biggest white whale is Henry's sense of self and identity and how he probably doesn't have a lot of it having grown up the way he did like. His parents were pretty dismissive of him but expected him to be the responsible one in a lot of situations. Paired with Ray's attitude and how Henry in his shoes as Kid Danger was expected to help everyone and always be okay/never have time for himself...Part of me imagines that he used it as a distraction to not have to think about finding himself, but it stunted him as an adult. Like he didn't have anything going for him in his mind so, he figured helping others would do something to help fuel his ego and self satisfaction. Growing up away from Swellview after he moves to Dystopia feels like it might've been a really big rush for someone who had to grow up so fast. I have an image in my mind of henry in a high rise apartment in dystopia leaning off of the balcony, watching the world go on below him. In the city nightlife light he smokes a cigarette and watches a woman get robbed in the street below him but he just watches, not being able to find enough in himself to do anything about it when its all he does day and night. i think it would consume him in a really weird way. Like a portrait of that man everyone fully expected him to become is always hung over behind him and he knows its what everyone sees, but he can't see it no matter how much he tries so how is he supposed to become it? or if he sees it in the mirror its distorted and questionable, and is it something he'd want to become? Sorry that got long fhgh I have so much opinions on Henry Danger

Ah don’t apologize!! I love, love, love this, you’re so big-brained, I agree 100%. You pointing out that Henry’s “stunted as an adult” because his own identity is so tied up in service is right on target, and something explored in a lot of Batfamily fics to great effect; I don’t think Henry Danger is quite as expansive or poignant as the DCU lol, but it takes a lot of cues from the Batman-Robin dynamic—probably Dick and Jason, most directly. The intersection of ego and intrusion with civic duty makes for overworked, moralistic children become jaded and stunted adults. If all you are is the labor you provide in relation to your maker, the only way to commit meaningful labor is to break away and remake yourself. There’s a suspense and gleeful disappointment in the fact that troubled children who grow into troubled adults rarely make themselves into something that their maker (their father, their agent, their god) would approve of, if not for the sake of ego alone. I think in his weakest moments Ray believes he’s a benevolent god wearing human skin, and at his best he knows he is disconnected from those around him but doesn’t have the awareness to properly mourn. There’s not enough grief in him. Most of that goes to Henry.

I think there’s something really sick and sweet and sad about making someone in your image, because the question of legacy is no longer about linear impact but the pain of impression—something I’ve mentioned in a few of my little comics, or fic comments, is how Ray’s relationship to Henry is canonically ambiguous. I feel it’s because he’s so many (and too many) things to him: pseudo-father figure, best friend, coworker and employer, mentor and rival, celebrity and ideological guide. He can’t be all of those things to him at once, not well, because there’s no good way to be someone’s best friend AND employer, a stranger and the kernel of consciousness. What is he is to Henry is too much, and that proximity can’t result in anything other than disillusionment. Of course his life was uprooted, of course life can’t exist in technicolor, of course we grow up and realize that those we revered aren’t gods, but people made of flesh that ages and rots like everyone else’s. Henry can’t go to college!! Henry can’t connect with his peers in a conventional way, Henry’s own friends become embedded in this life and ultimately fail to escape it!! It all ends and begins with Ray and the peculiarities of Swellview that have enabled this strange dynamic to begin with. It is too much to expect someone to make peace with it.

I described this sort of feeling, I think in one of my prior depictions of this disillusionment, as “sliding into apathy”, wherein Henry doesn’t lose his morals or his sense of right and wrong. The bitterness is that he still has that sense—that urge to do good, to find purpose, to fit into the cosmic logic of the universe—but he knows better now. He’s older. He’s tired. He’s not what he thought he’d be, and even so, the world remains as it is. Most of the little comic/texposts are shakily compliant with one another, with the main commonality being a running thread of dissatisfaction and a sort of weariness. In some of them, Ray is portrayed as a conceptual threat, or something that is explicitly endangering Henry to the point of psychological and emotional distress. There’s a dual failure: Ray claims he wanted Henry to grow into a replacement for the mantle, whereas Henry wants to grow into a version of himself. In the end, Henry doesn’t have a self separate from the echoes of those expectations, and all along Ray envisioned a stagnant future where neither of them would be required to grow at all. Ray can’t stop change—nature, which is change, which means Ray is not a god and subject to the same eventual loneliness as all other flesh people because he cannot dictate Henry stop growing or which direction he grows into—but Henry needs it more than anything. There are no heroes anymore, just yourself. That’s the most terrifying comfort either can find.

[thatrandombystander]

I'm pretty sure I watched Nirvana in Fire during the height of the pandemic so I'll confess I've forgotten a lot of the details and am mostly left with a general impression of the series, but I will never forget how much the scene of this woman sitting and talking for ten minutes while holding a piece of paper had me jumping on my chair about to go apeshit from the tension and quality of writing build up to this point

[swan2swan]

Just give it time, Sammy. Give it time.

[arcadian-sea]

"and i watched the water unfold, it's a feeling i want you to know, 'cause i'm not the same as i was…" - unfolding by porter robinson - i do not know how to convey how truly crazy this episode (and its following mini arc) make me. the implications. the potential. the complete and utter lack of any answers or actual meaningful results. im going to start eating drywall so here's this drawing that i made to try and process my many feelings about it! (did not help, got more deranged actually)

face close ups under the cut! (also a rant about this shirt)

i loved rendering her eyes for this one (and also spent wayyy too long on her locket for how little it is in the piece) ALSO

FUCK THIS SHIRT! I HATE IT! IT'S EVIL ACTUALLY! do you, dear reader, know how utterly distraught i was when, upon looking up a photo reference for what i was 1000% convinced was a shirt with flowers, i discovered it was in fact RANDOM PIRATE IMAGERY1?!?!?!?1/! because flowers? are easy to fudge! they're not that hard to make look decent! but THIS?! no this was gonna take EFFORT! and that is to say nothing of the fact that this show is old as hell at this point and there are NO GOOD QUALITY PHOTOS OF IT! BECAUSE NO ONE HAS BOTHERED! BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE CANT STAND THIS SEASON! (also my main source of footage to look at when google images failed me was amazon and good god is amazon's episode quality absolute dog-shit, especially when there is anything related to the water tentacle on screen in season 3)

SO IM LEFT SQUINTING AT THIS GRAINY ASS IMAGE TRYING TO TELL WHAT thE FUCK IS EVEN ON THIS SHIRT AND FOR WHAT! i bet that i am the only person who has paid this much attention to this thing. i bet i could've actually made it flowers and everyone would be none the wiser, and instead i voluntarily suffered and for why

I expected the hardest part of drawing this piece to be the stupid magic water tentacle snake and instead it was a piece of clothing. also this is ignoring that it's a weird 2000s cut where it's not a tshirt and it's not a tank top and it's kind of off the shoulder but not really. also the colors are jsut, so much, and anyway drawing this thing could count as psychological torture but, i did it👍