#though tumblr certainly has had its moments

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Y'know, it's unfortunate more people don't compare Louis and Violet in good faith.

Like, when I do see people compare them, it's usually through the lens of one is good, and the other bad. One is more canon than the other, and here's why. One is objectively better for Clementine, and the other is less impactful, worse written, didn't have chemistry with her, insert several insults here, etc.

I don't think it's inherently bad to express why you might not like one of them, or why you prefer one over the other. That's fine, that's a matter of opinion. It only gets to me when it becomes hostile, or passive aggressive... but even then, I've learned to just roll my eyes and move on. Some people make it very clear that they're not worth having a discussion with.

However, I wish I could read more nuanced comparisons of the two that didn't default to the "and that's why this one is better." At least some are kind enough to tack on a "for my Clementine" at the end.

You know how it goes: Louis is cute and he makes Clementine laugh, whereas Violet's boring, her love is shallow, she's still not over Minerva and she's using Clementine as a rebound. Violentine's a bad ship because Violet's actually a traitor, and they're practically the same person and that's bad.

Violet's loyal and reliable, whereas Louis is annoying, he never takes anything serious, he's a traitor for his vote, and he's nothing but a distraction. Clouis is a bad ship because how could any Clementine possibly like him after he voted her and AJ out? That's bad!

That's always the conclusion, right? One good, one bad.

This is incredibly limiting and it drives me nuts.

They're foils. They contrast one another, highlight each other's strengths and flaws, in such an interesting way that it makes Clementine's choice between them all the more meaningful.

One is not good and the other bad, they're different, and I think that's worth exploring.

Let's start with a common argument: Violet is the more impactful option due to her connection to Minerva.

Now, to be fair, I can understand why someone on Team Violet would believe this. Yes, it's true that the confrontation with Minerva is more impactful for a violentine shipper who has more investment in Violet as a character. Louis doesn't have as strong of a connection to her.

However, what they're failing to recognize is that Minerva isn't the only ghost to haunt this narrative. Violet may have Minerva, yes, but Louis has Marlon... and that doesn't just go away once Marlon's dead.

Violet's route has Minerva as her ex-girlfriend, and her bond with Tenn that all comes to a head on the bridge. Louis' route has Marlon's death and how that specifically impacts his relationship with AJ and Clementine, and the slow burn of forgiveness on all sides.

Marlon and Minerva are also reflective of Clementine's worst outcomes.

Clementine and Marlon were tied together through Brody's blood splattered on their hands and faces. They both killed a part of Brody, but only one of them lies about who killed her first.

After Marlon dies, Clementine gradually replaces him throughout the game; Rosie is her dog now, she uses his bow [which Louis gave her], she becomes the leader. Clementine gets them to fight back, and when three of her people are captured, she doesn't cut her losses. She does what Marlon couldn't; "we're getting them back."

When she chooses Louis, he does for her what he never did for Marlon: he steps up.

Clementine proves she won't become Marlon just as she proves she won't become Minerva.

After getting James to agree to help them, Clementine and AJ talk about what to do if she ever gets bit. AJ says he'd want her to bite him, too. He repeats this sentiment after she's actually bitten, telling her he wants to stay and they could turn together, peacefully.

When Minerva confronts them on the bridge, she's dying... and she wants Tenn to die with her. She doesn't care who she has to kill in the process. She's more monster than human at this point, and most times, she succeeds.

They're both bitten. Clementine could've become a monster like Minerva in the end. She could've killed AJ, and they could've become walkers together. But she didn't. Minerva wanted Tenn to die for her, and Clementine wanted AJ to live for her.

Also, I should mention she has Minerva's axe. She carries the key weapons associated with Marlon and Minerva throughout different points in the game, further solidifying these connections. She uses Marlon's bow to save her friends, and she uses Minerva's axe to save AJ, who in turn uses it to save her.

What's also so interesting about this is how Marlon's alive in episode one, and Minerva is thought to be dead. Louis has his best friend, and Violet's lost hers. But, at the end of the episode, Marlon's dead and Minerva's revealed to be alive.

Marlon becomes the ghost, and Minerva becomes the monster. Clementine becomes to Louis and Violet what Marlon and Minerva never could... how does that not drive anyone else insane?

So, no. One is not objectively better, or more impactful, because of a connection to Marlon or Minerva. They're different. It just depends on which storyline you personally find more compelling.

Actually, let's talk about that a little more.

In my opinion, the most intriguing point of comparison between Louis and Violet stems from their perceptions of survival, and how that impacts Clementine.

An argument I see made against violentine is that Violet's boring because she and Clementine are too similar. This usually comes from clouis shippers who prefer the "opposites attract" dynamic Clementine and Louis have.

On the flip side, there's the counter argument that Louis is reckless, that he doesn't take survival as seriously as he should and Clementine wouldn't want him because of that.

These are interesting to me because I get where they're coming from... but they ultimately miss the point.

The other day, I replayed TFS. Except this time, I did something a little bit differently. I played my usual clouis route, but then I had the violentine route pulled up on my laptop so that I could watch these scenes, comparing them side by side… and something occurred to me. 

Louis is about challenging Clementine's perception of survival, and Violet is about validating it.

Louis challenges Clementine from the very moment we meet him—he’s playing music. His initial philosophy on survival butts heads with Clementine’s. The fact that hunting with him and Aasim challenges your perception of “your choices have consequences.” These games have conditioned the player to think along the lines of, “Yeah, Louis is more fun… but if I don’t hunt with Aasim, we won’t have any food.”

Except that’s just it. I hate to say it, Aasim, but in the grand scheme of things… hunting with you doesn’t matter. It's actually less rewarding. You know why? Because in the next section, we get food from the train station. It would’ve been more beneficial to spend time with Louis over hunting, hence how he challenges you.  

This then primes you for the choice between choosing to follow Louis or follow Violet. I know people complain about how this is presented with Violet doing something productive [checking the walls] and Louis playing piano… but that’s the point. If you’re going through with Louis’ full route, you need to meet him at his level, and in turn, he will meet you at yours. You need to accept the challenge, the idea that Clementine isn’t entirely right about the way she’s gone about survival.

Oh, and do I even need to mention the vote? The debate over Louis’ vote is exhausting. Often times, people tell on themselves in how they talk about it. It’s not actually about the fact that he voted against them. If it was, these people would have a bigger bone with pick with Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Omar… and yet Louis is the one who takes all the blame as if he’s the only one personally kicking them out. 

Louis is reacting to the death of his best friend, and the complicated feelings that come with it being caused by AJ. He wants accountability, even if he knows something's wrong. You can either agree with him that it was murder, and set AJ on the path of atonement… or, you can double down and tell him to fuck off, AJ was justified. 

But here’s the thing… the vote adds to the appeal of Louis’ route. To someone who hates him, or at the very least is critical of his vote, that sounds mad or delusional.

Except it’s really not.

Ever heard of a thing called tension? Because there’s a lot of it in ep2 between clouis + AJ and it’s fantastic.

Yes, Louis voting them out is problematic because we need a problem to solve. We need something to feed the tension between him and Clementine. He stepped in front of a gun held by his best friend in order to protect her, forever changing their relationship… only for that to seemingly be taken away from us the moment AJ shoots Marlon. 

Yes, Louis’ route is about being challenged, but it’s also about challenging him. That he’s able to forgive them, that he’s able to question his own survival philosophy and understand theirs, that he’s able to apologize and actually change for the better… that right there is what makes clouis so damn good. 

He becomes hardened whereas Clementine softens. By the end of the game, they’re on a similar level now without neglecting their differences, and they can move forward together. 

That’s what makes Louis’ route appealing… and it’s also what makes it unappealing to people who prefer Violet. 

By contrast, Violet’s already on Clementine’s level when it comes to this perception of survival. She validates that Clementine’s on the right path.

They have other similarities in the way that they’re both female, queer, they both have a kid they look after, they’re not always great with other people, etc. 

People who prefer Louis might consider this boring, but I think to Team Violet, it’s comforting. It’s comforting to have a partner who takes this as seriously as you do, who wants to get shit done. They’re playing Clementine with a similar attitude, and don’t believe it needs to be challenged. It’s comforting to feel validated on something you already firmly believe in. 

We also see this if we compare the hunting and fishing scenes. You have to make an effort to choose Louis by choosing to neglect hunting, but the game makes you fish with Violet no matter what.

Violet’s prioritizing fishing because they need food. That’s what they’ve set out to do, so let’s do it. The game is letting you know that’s the case, and if you value that, continue pursuing her. 

While fishing, they discuss why things are weird with her and Brody. Violet doesn’t take well to Clementine’s blunt, “Because you make it weird. Brody tries and you just make fun of her."

That’s understandable because I think she already kind of knows why and is looking to have her feelings validated. She prefers it when Clementine suggests that it’s because Brody never said sorry for what happened to the twins. 

There’s also comfort and validation in the way Violet sides with Clementine and AJ after Marlon’s death. She votes for them to stay, vocalizing how much she disapproves of the results. There’s this feeling that I recognize from a lot of the sapphic romance I read; “it’s you and me against the world, I’ll always have your back, even if you’re in the wrong, I’ll fight for you.”

In our case, it’s violentine + AJ against the rest of Ericson, save Tenn and Aasim. Violet validates that AJ was justified because Marlon was a liar and murderer, claiming that AJ and Clementine did nothing wrong. Violet fights to keep them. 

The tension between violentine in ep2 is different because instead of one pushing the other away, they’re being forced apart by the vote and there’s nothing they can do about it. That tension is somewhat released when Clementine comes back and they’re reunited, working out a plan to best defend the school. 

It’s also why Violet’s presented as doing something productive when you follow her instead of Louis, and why she asks if you want to hang out after checking the defenses. 

All that being said, allow me to reiterate that one is not good and the other bad, they're different. These concepts of challenge and change/validation and comfort exist on a neutral road as diverging paths. It’s up to the player to pick what path they prefer, but that doesn’t mean the other path isn’t worth acknowledging or analyzing. 

I should also mention that they’re not exclusive; there is overlap with validation being present in Louis’ route and challenges in Violet’s. They’re just more present in episodes 3 and 4 after we’ve made our decision. 

There are several more examples of how this all fits together, buuuuut–

Ya’ll wanna compare some allegories?

Those familiar with my content might already know where I’m going with this as I’ve made a post about Louis and the piano in the past. 

You see, I believe that there are allegories for Louis and Violet’s hearts present in their routes: Louis’ piano, and Violet’s pin. 

I already have a thorough, in-depth analysis of Louis and the piano that you can read, so all I’ll say about it is that on the night of the raid, he asked Clementine to carve a piece of herself into his heart so that no matter what, their initials will be immortalized together in its wood…

And that makes me fucking feral. 

But I'm also so normal about it.

As for Violet, her heart is the star gazing pin she gives to Clementine. She gives it to her so she’ll always remember that night… but she doesn’t give it to her until after Clementine’s saved her, and that fascinates me in the context of it being allegory. 

Louis asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart right before the raid, cementing that from that moment on, he is utterly devoted to her. I believe this is part of the reason why Louis is still happy to see her if he’s the one who’s captured. Yes, yes, he’s also incredibly traumatized from having his tongue cut out and he’d be happy to see anyone, yada yada… but listen, if you romance Louis and he’s captured, his heart remains with her—that piano with their intitals is on full display. When he sees her, he’s still so devoted to her that he refuses to accept that it’s at all her fault. Even when she says it is, he shakes his head... and he so easily accepts her when they’re together in the end. From the moment Clementine puts knife to wood, he’s hers. 

Now, look… you might think I’m going somewhere not great with this but hear me out. 

I think after Clementine’s gone star gazing with her, Violet is fully ready to give her heart to her. Y’know, give her the pin. But, think about what Violet said about how people have left, but Clementine came back. Plus, with the impending raid to think about, maybe Violet should keep the pin until the right moment. 

I believe a key difference between her and Louis is that Violet needs one last thing to solidify that Clementine’s the one. 

Louis gives her his heart prior to the raid because of everything that’s already gone down between them following Marlon’s death. Violet needs to know that Clementine’s willing to fight for her the way she fought before. When Clementine saves her from the raiders, it’s solidified. Even after she sees Minerva again, it changes nothing.

It’s also worth noting that the pin is something Clementine wears. Like the piano carving, it’s a piece on display for everyone to see, to let them know whose heart Clementine has.

Violet literally handed Clementine her heart as a means of saying, “I’m yours. I’m devoted to you.” 

This is why romanced/captured Violet is devastating, and is why she behaves the way she does in the cells. She was so ready to give her heart away and then nope, sorry, Vi! You get knocked unconscious by raiders instead! 

If anything, you kind of deserve to be told to fuck off if you romanced her and then let her get captured. Just sayin’. 

Look, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the captured violentine route, mostly with Violet being as forgiving as she is after her eyes are burned—yes, yes, I know, her eyes are burned and Minerva messed with her head so of course now she’s not hostile, yada, yada. 

But I think it’s rather telling that you don’t get the pin in this route. Sure, Violet’s willing to forgive and possibly pursue this romance in the future… but she’s not ready to hand over her heart, not truly. Not after everything that’s happened. 

And if you want to get extra angsty about it, imagine that Violet made the pin right after they parted ways, but before the raiders came. Meaning that if she’s captured, it’s possibly still sitting somewhere, abandoned. 

Mmhmmm, very normal about this. I feel normal. My normalness about this continues... normally. I'm not losing my shit thinking about that. Nope. Why would I? I wouldn't! So normal.

Okay just let me talk about their reactions to Tenn's death and then I'll shut up.

This makes me want to gnaw my own foot off, I can barely handle it.

AJ shoots Tenn on the bridge because Clementine trusted him to make the hard calls. This saves Louis or Violet's life.

When Louis jumps across, he's completely silent as he watches Tenn die... and then he's pissed; "What the fuck?! How could you just shoot him like that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for him, and Louis is so upset that he forces AJ to look at what he's done, to watch the walkers eat Tenn; "Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that?! Look! [...] He's... he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone."

If Clementine says AJ saved his life, Louis says, "So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?"

If Clementine says nothing, Louis says, "Tenn was just a little boy!"

The reason Louis responds this way is because in this moment, he just relived Marlon's death all over again, but worse. So, SO much worse!

When Violet jumps across, she breaks down, begging, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no! No, no, no..." as she watches Tenn die... and then says to AJ, "No! What the fuck?! How could you do that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for her, and Violet is faaaar from okay; "For me? I can't... Tenn is gone! That soft little boy who liked to draw, he's gone, because of you!"

If Clementine says AJ saved her life, Violet says, "You think that's okay?! Just gunning down one of our own?!"

And there it is.

Louis is hardened in this situation because he already went through this... Violet hasn't, not with AJ. She softened up throughout her route due to her relationships to him and Clementine... but this is the moment where she realizes that maybe AJ wasn't as justified as she believed, and this is the consequence.

This leads us to the ending where AJ asks if they're still mad about him killing Tenn, and I just... I'm biting my foot right now because the script has flipped.

Louis is forgiving and understanding. He's soft, he's sympathetic, he shakes AJ's hand to let him know that all is forgiven and they're okay; "I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it. [...] Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?"

Or, alternatively, "He was your friend, AJ. I know you are hurting just as much as I am."

As for Violet? She's understanding, too... but she's not quite ready to forgive yet; "The thing you said on the bridge...that he was messing up all the time. It wasn't something new, you know. Tenn got himself or other people into trouble all the time, long before you guys got here. He was always so lost. He lived in a world that just...isn't there, you know? And that's why I tried to look after him. But when I was pulling him away from the walkers, and Minnie, I could also see...he just wasn't there anymore."

"So you're mad, but sad."

"Can I be that for a while?"

And it's completely understandable that she's hurting and struggling with how she feels about AJ moving forward! She wants to be okay, she wants to forgive him, she just needs time.

Now, because I'm forever bitter, but I'm gonna mention this as well: whenever I see someone point at Violet's scene and say, "See!? This is how LOUIS should've acted in ep2!" like... they're telling on themselves again. Not just that they don't understand Louis as a character or his route, but that they don't fully grasp Violet's part in this either. Or time frames, for that matter.

Let me put it to you in simple terms... they react the same.

After Marlon and Tenn die, they're upset. They're pissed. They blame AJ and yell at him. After they've had time to process what happened [Louis after the two week time skip, Violet after time passes between the bridge and the ending] they share the same, "I'm still upset about Marlon/Tenn. Can I be that for a while and still be your friend?" sentiment.

The difference is that Louis is treated poorly for it because of the vote, and because we feel it first hand for longer... Violet got to grieve off screen and come back after she's sorted herself out.

It's a disservice to both of their characters because it's rooted in that same mentality that I criticized at the beginning: "This is why one is better than the other."

Do I need to say it again? I'm gonna say it again.

One is not good and the other bad. They're different.

There are so many fun discussions that could come from putting Louis and Violet side by side, and examining them. I haven't even covered the different ways they're introduced, or compared their ep3 dates to see what it says about them and the overall narratives! What about the cell scenes!? How they react when Dorian's about the cut off their fingers! The way they approach James upon meeting him!

That last one in particular is especially funny! They're all under stress about blending in with a herd of walkers to infiltrate a boat to save their friends, and yet Louis easily saunters up to the guy wearing walker skins with a smile, and makes him laugh by saying, "Functional and fashionable. I'll take two."

Violet approaches James like he's an injured wild animal that's going to bite her, and bless her heart, she tries with, "I, uh… hey. Hey there, James. Sorry about Willy." Then James gives her this judgmental side-eye, like buddy? She's not the weirdo here.

There is so much potential to dissect here, and I want to see people do it... but I want them to do it fairly, in good faith.

I want to get away from the idea of comparing them to "prove" which is better because there is no objective better. There isn't! That's a waste of time!

I'm so done with The Debate™; it's unhelpful, it's annoying, and it's boring as shit. I've heard it all before, and you probably have, too.

I want to put Louis and Violet under a microscope and study them with the thought process of, "one does this and the other does that... what does it mean!? what does it say about the narrative!? Oh my god, they have the same opinion on this thing, WRITE THAT DOWN!"

So yeah, that's my ramble for the night.

I'm gonna go replay TFS for further research.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Maybe a drabble in which our Lamb meets Chimaera Reader, the maker of all crowns? Like, he stumbles upon their lair, and sees all types of the crowns, big and small, black and white, one-eyed and two-eyed, etc.? Maybe even a little inter actions between the Reader and the Red Crown in which it recognises them as their maker?

Sorry for my English, it is not my native language-

Also sorry if this request repeats, tumblr May have doubled it-

I swear I'm gonna turn this into an OC one day because I LOVE the concept of a crown maker in the COTL universe

........

'Where am I now..?' Lamb pondered as they stepped into a cavern--one most unfamiliar to them.

It was strange, considering they've scoured nearly every corner of the Old Faith for resources, potential rival cult activity, and even martyrs for the Bishops.

But this area was entirely new to them.

With their weapon drawn, they cautiously ventured further inward, eventually arriving into a larger room that was almost entirely cloaked in darkness. They could barely see a thing even with the few torches scattered around lighting the way.

Then suddenly, they saw a bunch of eyes opening up on all sides of them, varying in shape, size, color, and number. And they just stared down at the little sheep.

While they were accustomed to having so many eyes on them, this was completely different.

These eyes certainly didn't belong to any follower of theirs.

What if this was a trap?

What if-?

"Welcome, little Lamb! Promised liberator of the Old Faith!"

Looking upwards, they could see you descending from the darkness. You looked like a tradition chimera: a lion, goat, dragon, and snake all mixed into one. Both of your heads smiled as you took a seat upon your throne, although you frowned a bit upon realizing how poor the lighting must have been.

"Oh forgive me, it is awful dim in here, isn't it? Hold on one moment." Your lion head breathed out a small blast of fire, aimed towards a nearby candle that lit up.

That set off a chain reaction which lit up dozens of other candles around your lair, and burned the torches bright enough for Lamb to see what all those eyes belonged to:

Crowns.

So many crowns.

Big and small, black and white, one-eyed and two-eyed..and even multi-eyed; some sported horns and some did not. Others had bare surfaces while others were decorated with jewels or marred with scars from time.

It was an astonishing sight, and when Lamb looked back up at you, they could see a crown on each of your heads--snake tail included.

Not to mention your seat was adorned with four familiar ones...

"So you..take crowns from fallen gods?"

"Do I take them?" You repeated, before laughing uproariously. "No, but I can see why you'd assume that. I'm [y/n], Maker of the Crowns."

They blinked. "You created the crowns?"

"I have since the first gods ruled over these lands." You chuckled, taking the Green Crown into your paw. "I mold them into a design of my liking, give them life, and then send them off into the world to find a worthy host. They're like my children, so I do get sentimental at times...but I know they'll do great things."

'Huh...Leshy did say the crown found him..' Lamb mused.

"Of all the ones I've created, though, I never thought to see the Bishops' crowns again. But they were in such terrible condition...falling apart, barely able to keep their eyes open....I couldn't believe it." Your gaze shifted down to the sheep. "You wouldn't happen to know why, would you?"

They tensed. "...well...um-"

"Haha! I only jest, Lamb. I know everything." You smiled reassuringly. "I've sensed strong spikes in their energy, and I'm well aware they've been used as aids for the bishops after Narinder's betrayal. Speaking of whom...."

Pausing, you outstretched your paws towards them. "I see the Red Crown has found a new master."

"It's a long story, but--hey!!" All of the sudden, the Red Crown slipped out of their hands, morphing back into its normal form as it began floating up to you. They were shocked and angered, feeling extremely vulnerable without it. "What are you doing?!"

"Nothing, little one. It came to me all on its own. Welcome home, my darling." With the crown nestled into your paw, your smile grew as its eye stared back up at you with happiness. You sighed and brought it closer to your cheek, allowing it to nuzzle up to you. "Oh how I've missed you, mighty crown of Death. I'm glad you have not forgotten me."

"Give it back!!" Lamb snarled, baring their sharp teeth as they tried storming up to your throne. But their little hooves kept slipping on the skull pile that served as its foundation, and they eventually tumbled downwards, landing on their rear. "I need it back right now!"

"...are they always like this?" You muttered to the Red Crown, who just rolled its pupil in response. "Huh, I thought so. Arrogant, entitled, paranoid....just like your first master-"

"Don't compare us." They scowled. "Narinder was worse than arrogant...he would have destroyed this entire world, along with you and all these crowns if I returned it to him! We are NOTHING alike."

"Hm, I see I've touched a nerve. My apologies. I just wanted to take care of this little chip in its horn." Smiling, you manifested some black ichor to seal the crack you discovered on the crown, before sharpening up its horns a little bit. "There. Much better."

"....thank you. Now may I have it back?" Lamb put their hand out, growing more anxious with each passing second they were separated from it. 'Why isn't it returning to me?"

"It doesn't see why it has to right at this very moment...and quite frankly, I don't either. It's not connected to your lifeforce. You're still standing without it-"

"Because I'm its new master! I gave it new purpose. I gave it freedom...and it should be obeying me unconditionally and I don't understand why it's being so stubborn. That crown wouldn't be anywhere NEAR as powerful if it weren't for-!!"

"Choose your next words carefully," you tutted, shaking your head as you gestured to the walls. "My children do not look it, but they too have ears."

Falling silent, they looked all around, noticing that the crowns were now glaring at them. They tensed up, a feeling of heavy discomfort and embarrassment washing over them as they slowly realized how childish they were acting.

And in front of the crown creator, of all people?

"Tell me..do you see the crown as nothing without you? Or perhaps you feel like you are nothing without the crown?"

"........"

"Your mistake, little lamb, is that you see crowns as simple tools to do your bidding. A conduit for your godhood. But do not forget, they are also living breathing creatures like you and I." You chastised. "As such, they deserve respect. I figured you would've been more grateful to meet their maker...such few have the privilege to enter my lair and receive such a warm welcome."

The Red Crown bobbed up and down in agreement, before it scowled down at Lamb, as though to say "you better listen to them and treat me better".

They just looked at the ground, unable to form words as shame creeped up their spine.

You sighed softly. "I understand your worries as a new god. The mere thought of separation from it drives you to rage, especially after what happened between you and Narinder. But I have no desire to take it from you. Not when you've fought so hard for it. All I wish is that you continue caring for it."

"....I'm sorry, Great Crown Maker.." Lamb muttered, finally letting themselves be humbled. "I don't mean to act like I did. It's just...he's been annoying me all day today, shouting about "divine right" and making my life a living hell. He still can't accept that it chose me over him.."

They felt the familiar and comforting weight of the Red Crown returning to the wool atop their head, but they only looked up at you with respect. "Thank you."

"Of course, young one." You nodded, smiling once more. "Narinder has possessed that crown since he was a wee little kit, so it's going to be quite a long time before he lets that grudge go. Perhaps in a hundred years, give or take."

"I understand...so.." Lamb looked around. "Do you have any wares?"

"Oh, plenty!" You clapped your paws together. "Feel free to take a gander! Since this is your first visit, you may have one of the tarot cards over there on the house. But just know that the crowns aren't for sale."

[airconditionertm]

Aemond Targaryen x stark fem reader

Summary: y/n has been sent to kings landing she is to meet the prince Aemond before the arrangements of their marriage are finalized

Word count: 1606

An: I’m sorry for any spelling errors I’m dyslexic this is my first time posting a fic on tumblr. let me know if you want another chapter .

He never really thought about marriage, he had always presumed he would marry whoever his mother brought him. A simple political marriage that would provide both benefits and heirs. His mother told him that y/n Stark would be visiting Kings Landing, he never quite understood why the Starks were so important they weren’t royals they didn’t have dragons all they were known for was keeping oaths. Aemond had never even been to the north. Though from what he heard northern women could be difficult, to say the least unwaveringly stubborn and prideful to say a little more. She was said to arrive in the following days and Aemond was expected to wo her so she might convince her brother to accept the marriage proposal on her behalf. Cregan Stark was ever honorable and cited concerns about Aemonds' character as his main reason to hesitate.

“Your Highness the Lady Stark has arrived the queen has requested you greet her “a servant interrupted his thought. He didn’t respond simply walked off.

The carriage she arrived in was simple it could be mistaken as the one of a commoner though the clear craftsmanship set it apart. Aemond stood a few meters away from the carriage as he waited for her to exit.

She stepped out of the carriage cautiously onto the cobble below. She wore a light silver blue gown that wasn’t as opulent as the regular court dress but still looked expensive. Some delicate silver thread decorated the neckline. She finally looked up at him waiting for him to introduce herself.

“Welcome to Kingslanding Lady Stark I’m Prince Aemond Targaryen “he spoke coldly.

“Well it’s an honor to be here your grace , “ she said curtly. Aemond noted that she didn’t bow as would have been proper.

“The maids will take your things…” and knew it was expected but he was in no mood to however he had a duty ” Would you like a tour of the grounds Lady Stark, “he asked begrudgingly.

“I’m quite tired from the journey, though I would like to at least know where the most important rooms are mainly the dining hall and the throne room oh and the library if you have more important things to attend to as I’m sure you do certainly someone else might show me “ she spoke quite quickly he was only glad she didn’t speak in a northern dialect one of his nurses when he was a child was this old northern lady and he quite frankly could never understand a word she was saying.

“I do not have other matters to attend to I prefer to do all my work in the mornings so that I might use the rest of the day as I wish, I shall show you the most important rooms before you rest “ he explained.

“Thank you-“to maids carried a wooden cage containing a white-grey dire wolf “Wait can you let her out of the cage I’ll take her with me so she can get used to her new surroundings “the two maids looked scared of the wolf but carefully opened the cage which the wolf immediately leaped out of charging at layana for a moment aemond was worried until the wolf started jumping up and wagging its tail. “Mhm you’re excited right good girl now don’t bite anyone and stay with me, “she said lovingly kneeling to pet the wolf, she turned back around to aemond. “This is my dire wolf Lilly I couldn’t stand to go without her don’t worry she’s trained she just might be a little skittish since she’s somewhere completely new, “she says almost apologetically. “Let us go on our tour “he turns around and begins walking.

———————————————————————

At the end of the tour he takes her to the library “This is the library “ he says. He is shocked to see a look of utter awe on her face.” this, it’s truly gargantuan I’m allowed to be in here right it isn’t restricted “she asked

“No it isn’t anyone can visit it though not many do, most of the books are however not allowed to be taken outside the library to prevent damage “ he replied.“That’s reasonable, don’t mistake my awe for thinking there aren’t any books in Winterfell it is just that we cannot keep many the moisture in the air tends to damage them “ she explains.

“ I see, do you enjoy reading Lady Stark, “ he asked. “Yes well it is more that I like acquiring knowledge rather than the act of reading itself, though I fear many of the most interesting texts here may be in high valerian “she states.“That may be true though there are many books in the common tongue to “ he says. “I must admit I’m tempted to try and learn the language just so I can read more books “she says excitedly .“It’s a difficult language “ he says curtly. “I can certainly imagine that “she replies.“If you truly wish to learn there are some guides to the language here too “he was sceptical she truly wished to learn the language many people tried to flatter the Targaryens by praising their mother tongue. Hells he wouldn’t be surprised if she was informed of his own love of reading so that she might wo him.

“The hour is drawing late I’ll call a maid to bring you to your chambers so you can rest and ready yourself for dinner “he turns to the exit.“It is getting late indeed, can I ask you one last question “ She was certainly chatty aemond thought.“Yes what is it” he replied .“What will dinner be like is it a lot of people will it be formal i don’t know what to expect”she asked.“We don’t often eat dinner together however my mother will probably make everyone ,but my father of course, come to dinner tonight to celebrate your arrival so it won’t be many people, it is formal yes but nothing too opulent “

“ I see thank you “A maid walked up to her and showed her to her chambers he didn’t expect that she would be taken into the same wing he and his family stayed in he hoped for her own sake that her chambers may not be too close to Aegons.

———————————————————————

She walked into the dining room on time she wore a more expensive gown than before though it was a similar color. However, it was velvet and tailored to fit more snugly the decoration was also far more elaborate. Her black curly hair was put in a neat updo with silver ornaments adorning it. Aemond had to admit she was beautiful not in the way southern women where it was more intense not so demure and soft. Aemond and his mother were the only ones already there “Everyone else seems to be late my dear why don’t you sit with Aemond“Queen Alicent greeted y/n .” right of course “She shuffled around for a moment before she sat next to him. He could tell she was nervous facing the queen for the first time.” There is no need to be shy my dear you are here in hopes that we may be family soon, so tell me how where you’re travels” Alicent asked sipping from a goblet. “My travels were pleasant for the most part though quite lonely with only my brothers men though I had my dire wolf Lilly to keep me company “Aegon stumbles in clearly drunk “You spent your whole journey only with tall strapping northern men, brother it seems like she’s already ruined “ Aemond of course knew what he meant with ruined, glaring at his brother. “I don’t quite understand, “y/n asked. “Well you know you probably fucked one of them or maybe all of them “he slurred laughing at his own joke. Alicent tried to give Aegon a warning look but it didn’t seem to work.” that is enough brother I will not let you insult her like this “aemond slammed his hands on the table.

“No need to overact brother I was simply joking, you understand that right Lady Stark” he sat down next to his mother.” I’m afraid I don’t understand how that is a Joke, “ she said sternly.” Bo I thought northern women were supposed to be more fun there’s no need to pretend to be all lady like “. She stood up “I am going to be insulted like this at dinner, enjoy your dinner queen Alicent “ and walked away. “Aegon must you destroy everything we need for this alliance with the north “Alicent rested her head in her hands. “Aemond go after her try to salvage this “. Aemond turned around and followed y/n.

“Lady Stark,” he asked cautiously, he had found her on the balcony looking out on King's landing. “Your grace “ she continued to look out her back facing him.

“ I must apologize for my brother, he’s a drunk and a fool “ he goes to stand beside her. “It’s my first night here and I’ve already been humiliated, “ she says quietly. “ it is not you who should feel ashamed it is my brother, to treat a guest like that to question your virtues and be so crude about it it’s deplorable,”he said firmly. She looks over at him “ I want you to know that I still have my virtue “she says. “ I never questioned it, my lady,” he says. “ I just wanted to be sure, “ she says. “Are you enjoying the view my lady? “ he asks. “ yes it’s quite beautiful and I do believe this high up the stench is less apparent “she says.

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[gemsofgreece]

You really should know about Storm "Daniel"

Unlike how much all of us Greek blogs notify our tumblr communities about the regular (at this point) arsons wildfires afflicting Greece, we did not say much about the floods the country has been suffering from right now. There was a mention here and there and I even made a joke post as the storm was starting but not a lot of stuff in general. So, I think there's a couple of things you should know and I feel like I could address about it and actually it's not just about Greece. So I believe this could interest a lot of people and it should be something known worldwide.

In the beginning of September there was an alarm about an extreme weather phenomenon forming above the Ionian Sea at the west of mainland Greece. In truth, the phenomenon was not caused by the climate change. It was just a very rare occurence where a high pressure atmosheric system was sandwiched between two currents of low pressure. Low pressure systems are the ones resposible for stormy weather while high pressure systems generally create stable weather. As the low currents encircled the high pressure system, the storm that had started forming became unusually stable for a storm. As a result, the storm moved northeast above Thessaly and other regions of the central part of Greece and... just decided to stay there for an indefinite amount of time. Furthermore, because it's September and the Ionian Sea had warmed up throughout the summer, the medicane (Mediterranean cyclone) gained tropical features as it was forming, pushing its intensity to extremes unknown to this area.

The storm remained above all of central Greece for about 4-5 days but at the meantime it was causing side-storms in neighbouring countries, such as Bulgaria and Turkey. Both countries suffered from floods causing damages and deaths.

Istanbul, Turkey (CNN).

Tsarevo, Bulgaria (CNN).

Four people died in Bulgaria and seven in Turkey.

But like I told you the core of this was exactly on top of Greece's central mainland and islands. So what happened there? I happened to experience this shit first hand. My recollection of it is that it was unlike any other storm I had experienced before. My knowledge on meteorology is not very advanced, however I believe due to the high pressure part, there were actually no winds at all - or they were insignificant, so it wasn't like what you might have in mind as a conventional cyclone. It was a rainstorm but it was like a rainstorm from hell. The crucial part is that in Greece summer violent rainstorms may last for about five minutes but certainly not for five days nonstop. There was no pause, not even for a second. It kept pouring and pouring in indescribable volumes, without decreasing or slowing down, not for a moment. The fourth day it started taking short breaks.

As a person with a phobia of lightnings since childhood, I kept wearing earplugs throughout all these days. For four days, ten seconds did not pass without at least one lightning shrieking exactly on top of our heads. In the end, I am dead serious, I think my lifelong phobia has been cured somewhat due to this extreme exposure that eventually had a numbing effect. I think only the first day there was a record of 7,000 lightnings. I believe there must have been dozens of thousands overall. The lightnings also caused fires but the downpour was so overwhelming no fire could ever stand a chance.

Whether during or after the rains, what I was seeing outside was post-apocalyptic. The only thing missing was the zombies. It really looked like a background from a videogame, including a constantly lit up sky. I was not in danger though people dear to me were. The worst for me was a huge fall in the quality of living but that doesn't matter. The rains caused severe destructions across cities and villages. They caused floods, they broke bridges, they broke a massive number of roads, they made walls collapse, they destroyed springs, they damaged water and electricity outlets entirely, they drowned flocks and flocks of animals, they destroyed mountainous and coastal villages alike, they made cars float and fly over each other and they uprooted houses.

Village in Mount Pelion, Greece.

But that's not the end of it. Four days later, the storm moved southwest towards the Ionian sea, basically to the place of its original formation. It side-swept over Athens in the meantime, flooding the city, but that doesn't mean much since I could cry and Athens would still flood with my tears. Anyway. AFTER the storm left, the floods caused by it started multiplying and expanding. Picture that: a crystal clear sky, a bright sun and your phone screaming state alerts about evacuating your village or town because a lake has launched at you! Here's the thing: Thessaly is a massive plain surrounded by a ring of mountains. Half of those downpours fell right on the lowlands causing floods and destructions the first days. The other half however fell on the mountains, filled the streams heading down and they all met up and filled the lakes and the large river of Thessaly, Pineios and they all basically exploded the next days. Pineios especially exploded both in its western and eastern part, sinking the entirety of Thessaly's plains under water. As a result, floods were actively taking place days after the storm had ended and the weather was good. The phenomena have only started subduing since yesterday.

The overflowing of the river, trapped by the mountains.

Farmers won't be able to work this year and next year is questionable as well. There are huge concerns about various epidemics breaking out as more and more dead animals are found in the waters. Entire villages are under the water. There are estimations that some villages in west Thessaly might have been lost forever and their residents will have to move elsewhere. Sixteen people have died from the rainstorm and the floods.

Actual villages in Karditsa, Greece.

A more longterm danger is that the ground received such an unnatural amount of water that it might have been severely eroded and destablised, making it vulnerable to natural disasters I don't want to utter. Many roads are either broken or bloated and Thessaly has been cut out from communication and transportation with the rest of the country. To this day, there are maps guiding people how to drive from North to South Greece and vice versa by entirely skipping Central Greece! (Hint: they will have to drive through Epirus, aka western Greece.) The first days there was also complete isolation from what was happening in the country and the world and also the very regions we were in as we had no electricity and our only chance was getting a call from somebody being elsewhere and telling us what is going on.

Volos, Greece (CNN)

Many regions have received within 2-4 days 55 times their monthly amount of rain or more than twice the yearly amount. Greek meteorologist Christos Zerefos estimated that such a phenomenon occurs every 300-400 years. Meteorologists were alarmed internationally - with Germans and Americans reportedly saying they hadn't studied such a phenomenon again in their career. Its intensity was record high in the history of Greece and right in the top of Europe's as well. They also agreed that such a phenomenon would be devastating even if it had hit the most advanced and prepared country.

BUT THIS IS NOT THE END. The weakened Daniel seemed to slowly move towards South Italy but it decided to take a turn and headed south towards Libya and Egypt. Quite possibly, as the storm was once again travelling across the warm Mediterranean Sea, it was rejuvenated and gained even more tropical traits. Eventually, the medicane hit Libya with unprecedented force.

The cyclone travelling from Greece to Libya.

The toll it took on Libya is unspeakable. As I am writing this,

More than 5,226 people are killed and more than 10,000 are currently missing.

Like, can you wrap your head around what I am talking about? I don't see this shit being acknowledged enough across the world. I am checking this again and again, to ensure I am reading this correctly.

Daniel has officially become the deadliest medicane on record.

Eastern Libya, from Al Jazeera.

In the meantime, Greeks found opportunities to practice their favourite sport: political infighting. People who weren't even here when hell broke loose say that if this or that was properly done, we would not have problems at all. I even saw an idiotic Greek expat comment how "we got drowned in a little bit of rain". The truth is we should bloody thank our lucky stars and I say this with the entire awareness of half of Thessaly being currently underwater. It is true that Greek governments and people have done so many things badly, like building on top of streams and rivers, changing rivers' natural route, drying up natural lakes and all that shit that guarantees you are going to have massive problems once a serious storm breaks out. Also, the disaster revealed that there was once more a very questionable management of all the money given by the EU for anti-flooding measures after a previous flood (Ianos). Of course, I would be happy if at last we viewed this disaster as an opportunity to improve ourselves and the management of our land, however whatever happened these days wasn't the fault of anyone in particular. On the contrary, A LOT worse could have happened. A lot. Maybe Libya is not an indication because if Greece is not used to such extreme rain phenomena, then Libya is probably ten times less used to them, however we should not forget that this monster was STUCK at least five days over the heartland of Greece. For this alone we should damn be thankful we did not get it any worse and that the land endured in any way and of course now we have to correct old mistakes as well but let's do it united and determined and without wasting time once more in pointless infighting, which in this case might even be unfair. (In fact I think the thing we should blame the state the most about was not making it clear beforehand that this was going to be unprecedented, not just "very severe". They probably didn't want to cause panic and mayhem but still. We should know.) Of course I am not talking about how the state will treat the afflicted regions from now on, which is entirely its responsibility. And we should stand next to Libya. Greece has its wounds to mend but it should absolutely provide support to Libya. We know what this freak phenomenon was like.

I know this text is long but please consider reblogging this. We should know what happens on our planet. Thousands of people are dead from a freak phenomenon devastating regions across lands and seas. Also forgive any mistakes I might have made although I believe the information is correct for the most part. I didn't speak more about Libya because I don't know enough to analyze the situation as much. Perhaps there are ways of supporting the country too. As a last note, this phenomenon was not freakish because of the climate change - it was just a very unusual occurence. However, the - otherwise normal - warmth of the sea did feed and intensify the storm and the climate change might in the future cause these super rare, accidental phenomena to become more frequent.

[skippyv20]

Oh wow! 2025 just around the corner!!!!

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year. It’s hard to believe 2024 is on its way out. For many it’s been a good year, and for many a sad, difficult year. Looking back on the difficult times, remember this….you made it through. Even in those moments you didn’t think you could. It is when you reflect on it now, you will see that God was right there with you. We are never alone. I am so grateful for this wonderful community we have here, but so sad that Tumblr changed the rules. We have lost many that can’t write in anymore unless they set up a Tumblr account. Some just won’t do it, or can’t do it. I understand that. However, they are missed. This will change our prayer requests as well this year. We won’t have so many writing in. I hope that this will not change the fact that the few that do write in, still need our prayers. We will just be praying for fewer. I feel bad about that.

Along the way this year we have made new friends, and lost some friendships. People make choices and we move forward without them, still praying for them and wishing them well. People go though so many different life experiences, and we all react differently. Life gets in the way sometimes. Our lives can change in an instant. When that happens, we need each other the most. You all certainly have lifted me on my darkest days. I am so grateful for you all. You add so much to my life.

I haven’t been around much this Christmas. Things are just too blurry now, and to read and write on here is a struggle. It also gets on my nerves. It’s very frustrating. So I have taken some time off. I got through Christmas. I got through a fun filled Boxing Day. The basement backed up a bit in the furnace room. That meant not using any water. Dishes in a big bowl, and emptying water into a pail, rinse and repeat was fun. Brushing my teeth in a glass was fun. It added much comic relief remembering not to touch the water tap. It made me think of Christmas in the 1800’s. The plumbers charge double over Christmas. One guy didn’t call us back, the others said if you don’t want to pay double call back on January 2nd. So, Mr. Skippy and SIL went and rented a machine and fixed it themselves. I was very impressed. Relieved to only have waited 24 hours to resolve the issue. Memories!

Christmas Day was hard. I missed my Cathy and Panda and Sheldon the cat. Just wasn’t the same. It was Ellie’s first Christmas. She doesn’t like paper. She doesn’t like commotion. She likes to create it but not live in it. She loved her toys, only after they were unwrapped for her. She preferred Jaxon’s cat toys. She was much happier when things quieted down. Oliver too is the same as her. He has never liked the commotion, and he has never liked paper. Trash bags too, Ellie hates those. She did give lots of hugs and kisses though and did brighten my day, as usual.

No big New Year’s Eve plans here. I made lasagne. Took me four hours. What a nightmare. Thought I had all the spices and whilst making the lasagne meat sauce found out I didn’t have two spices. Mr. Skippy went off to the store to get them. While he was gone….noticed two more spices I didn’t have. So, I thought why not improvise. So, I threw in Italian seasoning. We shall see how this lasagne turns out. I think after supper we will play a few games of charades. We played on Christmas Day and had so much fun. We are so blessed that our daughter and SIL live with us. We always have entertainment. They are so much fun. We are blessed indeed.

Well, just wanted to update you all. You are not forgotten. I carry you all in my heart, always. I am praying that each and every one of you have the most wonderful New Years Eve. May 2025 bring you all lots of laughter, love and good health. Mostly I pray you feel God’s loving presence, on good days and bad. I send you all hugs and love.

God Bless you and yours. 🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[writingwisterias]

Now that my rights have been returned on tumblr, I’m gonna attempt to leave this request again since it deleted the last time.

I know you mentioned something in my inbox about needing more rock Leon appreciation. My mind instantly thought to rockstar!Leon. I know it’s a pretty popular AU, but I can’t help but think about him as some famous rockstar. The media labels him as some punk playboy who only cares about sex, fame, and rock n’ roll but in reality, no one knows that you’re standing in the front row of all his shows supporting him. Giggling and kicking my feet at the thought of Leon playing for me at all his shows AHHH.

Front Row View

Rockstar! Leon x AFAB!Reader

Words: 1.5K Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY, Riding, the smut is only a small part at the end

Masterlist

Thank you for the request @g0thesqe! Hope you enjoy it, you should also check out the request they wrote of a Leon x goth reader here! My requests are still open! ~ Mads <3

Leon’s eyes scanned the faces that were close to the stage, trying to spot one familiar face that has engraved its way into his memory. His lungs burned as he held each high note, sweat dripping as the bright lights heated up the stage, his constant jumping around and running up and down the stage certainly didn't help. But the fans didn’t care, he's seen countless articles and posts of his appearance, all the dirty thoughts they write in the captions fueling his ego. Leon wasn’t looking at his fans though, they weren’t the opinion he wanted or craved at the end of each night. Leon’s grin grew when he finally spotted you, your body pressed against the rails at the front of the stage screaming the lyrics back to him with some group of girls you have found yourself with. It was something he admired, how you always insisted on being a part of his community enjoying his show with a new group of fans each night. He made his way over to where you were in the crowd, leaning over the edge to brush fingers with all of the fans. His heart fluttered when his fingers brushed yours, chuckling as he watched the girls surrounding you giggling as he winked and pointed at you before he ran towards the other side of the stage. You giggled with them, however unknown to them you were the lucky one he was leaving with at the end of the night, you screamed the lyrics at him each time he came back, heart swooning as you watched Leon run around doing what he loved. 

“Hey girls help me take this off” you chuckled to them, lifting up the back of your shirt for them to undo the clasp. They all giggled as they began to shield you from view as you slipped the bra off. It wasn’t uncommon for people to throw things on stage, but he would know who threw this one at him. It was the same one he removed the night before, one that has been thrown across his room many times. You balled it up in your fists waiting for him to eventually get close to where you were again. The girls supported you as you balanced on the barrier for extra reach waiting for the perfect moment to throw it on stage. It didn't take long for Leon to finally make his way over, screaming the last few notes of the night you threw it. The bra landed square against his chest, he caught it before it fell. A smirk appeared on his lips as he bought it closer to look at. He knew it was yours immediately. Leon winked at you again, swinging the item over his shoulder and dancing with it for the last song of the show like it was a trophy he had acquired. “My god you are so lucky! He noticed you” the girls giggled at you. You laughed with them as you all began to leave the stadium holding their hands forming a chain as you made your way to the exit. 

You pulled your jacket further around you, trying to hide your chest from the chill of the evening night.  You bounced on the balls of your feet waiting by the side of the road for the familiar sound of a motorbike, whilst checking your phone at the fans' opinions of the show. You looked through the photos and videos you took of Leon and the ones you took with the fans. You chuckled as all the videos came in of him catching your bra. You didn’t capture the encounter yourself but found it funny seeing all the different povs of the moment. The theories then came flooding in tumblr and twitter blogs posting about why he kept to one side of the stage so much for yet another show. You saw them try and piece together the number of nights during this tour he’s done it, the fans circling the area his fingers always pointed during certain songs. You could only imagine the number of articles joining in with the speculation their favorite lead singer was finally hitched. Leon had always kept you a secret from the world, you were his little secret only people close to him knew about you, even his band members all joined in the fun during the tour with the fans trying to figure it out. 

You smiled as you heard the familiar sound of his bike make its way down the street. You giggled at him as he flicked his visor up looking at you with an eyebrow raised. In his outstretched hand he held your bra. “Missing this, darling?” he chuckled, looking at where arms were tightly wrapped around your chest holding the jacket together. “Looks familiar” you teased as you walked over to him. He held out your helmet, helping you clasp it and shaking your head slightly as he made sure it was all safe. Leon relaxed into you as he felt your arms wrap around his waist, your red bra clasped tightly in your hands at his stomach. He kicked up his bike and sped off into the night, taking you home. 

Leon draped the blanket over the two of you, your weight pressed on his chest bringing him back down to earth after bouncing around the stage all night. “So what are they saying tonight? Have they caught on yet?” he said as he kissed the crown of your head. Leon flicked through whatever tv shows were on late, trying to find the perfect one to use as background noise as he soaked you in to help him relax. “A few are getting close. People are just mainly noticing you linger on one side of the stage again, trying to compare it on the other shows I’m there to see if there's any link. However I'm so hidden they don’t know why you are there” you said whilst scrolling through your feed, the sound of his music from all the fan videos were adding to the background noise. Leon chuckled. He’s never been more  thankful for you when you came into his life. You managed to drag him out of his drinking days and help him celebrate a good show in a way that wont kill his liver. “Maybe in the next album I’ll hide your name in there somewhere” 

You giggled putting your phone down on the coffee table in front of you. You tilted your head up and looked at his face, your fingers worked their way through his hair lightly tasseled from his bike helmet. “I love you, you were amazing tonight” you smiled at him. Leon's heart swelled in his chest at your praise, his hand cupped your cheek and brought you in for a passionate kiss. Your tongue slid across his lower lips begging for access which he granted. Leon’s hands found their place as your waist, sliding your shirt up over your head. “The bra took me by surprise tonight love” he said as he began to grope your breast, taking the nipple into his mouth greedily. “Got to keep you on your toes. You should have heard all the girls when you winked at me” you spoke, pressing your chest closer to him, a low whine leaving your lips at the pleasure he was working with his tongue. “Imagine if they found out about this” he joked as he kissed his way along to the other breast. You ground your hips against his clothed erection, speeding up as he suckled on your breast harder. You moved away lifting off him to remove your trousers, Leon eagerly worked on removing his own. He gave himself a few strokes as you climbed back over him. 

He sucked in a breath as he felt you sink down on his length, his hands gripped your hips. You slowly began to grind against him, enjoying how deep and full he was inside you, his trimmed pubes tickling against your clit. “At least I know I'm the only fan that gets to be filled like this by you” you moaned as you increased your pace, bracing your hands against his chest as you felt the knot in your stomach tighten. “You’ll forever be the only one darling” he groaned, lifting his hips to meet your pace. He felt his balls tighten, pants and moans filling the room as you both finally fell into the bliss of each other's orgasms. You landed on his chest breathing deeply as his cock softened inside you. He pulled out of you, wrapping you up with the blanket and carrying you to the bathroom to begin his nightly routine of aftercare. He couldn't wait for the day he could announce you as his to the world, but for now he will enjoy his private little secret and watching you enjoy the night with an army of his fans. Singing his songs back at him.

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

"like this post if you want a random spn ask"

what's a spn episode that seems underdiscussed, underrated, or even hated that you LOVE?

Ok so definitely not a hated episode but unrated/underdisscussed To ME: Mother's Little Helper (Gasp Shock Suprise Vic we had no idea you like this episode lol). So I am not out here claiming it to be the Best Episode Ever - BUT I do believe it deserves to reclaim its place in Sam Girl (gn) history. If you weren't there watching this episode on Tumblr the night it aired in the middle of the Experience that was living through S9 as it aired, I can forgive you for not understanding the IMPACT this episode had on Sam Nation in the moment. Like truly there was rejoicing in the streets, songs were sung (see Fig.1), and Sam Girl Christmas was declared (thanks @agelade) (see Fig.2)

Fig.1

Fig.2

This was the closest thing we had had to the hallowed Sam Centric Episode in what certainly felt like years - even though the timing split on this is I think actually pretty much 50/50 it in spirit is Sam centric because Sam spends the episode doing *gestures broadly* All That (see Fig 1.) and Dean spends it being mopey in a bar with Crowley (hyperbole employed for comedic effect).

Particular highlights of this episode personally for me:

Sam solo case - rare and precious thing (obviously I wouldn't want them all the time lol that's not the show but I do really enjoy seeing Sam working things more fully His Way which I think this episode showcases beautifully).

The implication that Sam Winchester is Better than You even when soulless lol - the fact that they even went so far as to point out that Sam wasn't "out of control" like these people and just committing random acts of violence, beautiful we love to see it.

Recorded exorcism on his phone HI HELLO HI - this episode has so much Sam's big beautiful brain but this is a fave moment for suuureee.

HENRY! <3

The scene of Sam setting the souls free and watching them return to their owners with this absolute sense of wonder (see Fig.3). It makes me emotional Every Single Time. (and was in fact a big inspiration for my fic Steps Toward the Water (shameless plug sorry but it really was)).

This episode features Sam looking (To ME) amongst the most beautiful he has ever looked like LOOK AT HIM (see Fig. 3, Fig. 4):

Fig.3

Fig.4

I can only assume that when Misha was directing this episode (still forget that fact and then Remember every time I think about it lmao) that he too was so overwhelmed by the Beauty of Sam that he felt compelled to capture it at its PEAK (v relatable I will give you This One Thing). In conclusion, Mother's Little Helper deserves it's status for its place in Sam Girl (gn) History, the simple joy of being given 1 (one) Sam centric episode that doesn't involve horrific torture, sexual assault (or metaphors for), or unrelenting angst (don't get me wrong I'm here for the Angst but just once its nice to seeee), and for being a particularly fine showcasing of Sam Beauty <3

[bg-brainrot]

The Smut Peddlers of Sharess' Caress (Astarion x Tav)

In honor of spontaneously deciding to add a part 2 to this silly little fic, posting part 1 on tumblr.

Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav

Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here

Summary: The group finds smut about you (Tav) and Astarion. Hijinks ensue.

Tags: POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Humor, lots of innuendos, shadowheart loves smut, karlach doesnt read but will make an exception for this, there is no smut, nothing against smut we love smut in this house

Word count: ~2.5k

Your group is in Wyrm’s Crossing on this bright Baldurian day. You originally were just planning on returning various parts of a certain clown to the circus, but on your way back to the Lower City you get waylaid easily and find yourselves in Sharess' Caress. Everyone is used to your aimless wandering at this point, so Astarion, Karlach, and Shadowheart follow in tow without question.

While you have no strict purpose in visiting, you do want to check-in with Mamzell Amira to make sure that no one has been troubling her since you dealt with her missing girl. The brothel seems unchanged from the last time you visited, and you walk up to its proprietor with a wave.

“Why if it isn’t the hero with a penchant for whips,” she smiles at you warmly. “What can I do for you? Anyone I can get for you, or are you here for the latest erotic verse? I thought you might find it quite… scintillating.”

You shrug off her suggestions, “Nothing in particular, just wanted to make sure no one was bothering you after that assassin.” 

“Oh, we’ve been doing just peachy, thanks to you,” she says. “Though I hear you never took me up on your boon, the Drow twins have been awfully upset about it.”

Chancing a brief glance at Astarion, you find him looking surprisingly unconcerned at the mention of the Drow twins. He had been uncomfortable before, which is all you had needed to hear to put an end to that conversation. “Yes, thank you so much for your generosity, but I haven’t found myself in need of your services,” you reply, remaining light in your tone.

“It certainly seems like it,” she purrs, and you’re not sure what to make of her comment before she continues. “Well, I hate feeling indebted to anyone. What do you say you look through the shelves of our erotic literature and pick some out, free of charge. You may even find some inspiration.” She winks at you conspiratorially, as if Astarion isn’t watching the entire conversation unfold.

Karlach giggles behind you and whispers, ”Oooo, I might actually pick up reading if it’s that inspirational.”

You clear your throat a bit and say, “I’ll take a look. I wouldn’t want to make you indebted to us.” 

Mamzell Amira points you in the direction of the bookshelves, and your group files off toward them. Astarion is giving you a sidelong look as he says, “You know, if you wanted to take her up on the Drow twins, I could be persuaded.”

You scoff. “I don’t want to persuade you to do anything. Besides, what if she’s right? Don’t you want to see what creative ideas these smut peddlers have thought up?”

He seems a bit relieved to hear you say that, but his tone remains offended, “Excuse me, are you critiquing my skills as a lover? From the noises you make, I don’t think you’re allowed to–”

“For the love of the Moonmaiden, Astarion, you know we can hear you?” Shadowheart has already reached the shelves and takes a moment away from perusing to glare at the vampire.

“Of course I know you can hear me,” he says with a smirk. “Just as well as you can hear my dearest—”

“Astarion,” you give him a warning look. “Look through the smut like the rest of us or get out.”

Your love gives you an exaggerated pout before saying, “Fine. I don’t need books to teach me what I know. If you need me, I’ll be getting a drink.” You watch him skulk off, finding his jealousy over the potential skill of fictional lovers quite endearing.

Finally, you turn your attention to the bookshelves Mamzell had indicated. Karlach and Shadowheart are already heavily invested, rifling through stacks of books with ornate fonts and passionate covers.

One book in particular seems to be front and center, perhaps a new title or a bestseller. You pick it up and look down at the cover more closely.

The title reads “Love at First Knife: A Roguish Tale of Blood and Lust” in a flowing script. On the cover you see two individuals, one of whom, a silver-haired man with pointed ears and ruby-red eyes, is holding a knife to the others’ throat. The other figure is gazing lovingly into the firsts’ eyes, their hands grasping at his bare chest.

“Gods below,” you whisper, once you’ve comprehended what’s in your hands. “Shadowheart, Karlach, look what I found.”

Both women walk over to you, peering over each of your shoulders. “What’s that?” Shadowheart asks, not quite registering the vague familiarity of the two figures on the cover.

You point to the silver-haired, pale elf and say, “Does that look like anyone you know?”

“It’s not!” Karlach gasps. “Is that supposed to be… Astarion?”

Based on the crude facsimile of your own face yearning for him and the title, you are fairly certain it is. “And I think that’s supposed to be me,” you point out, dumbfounded at the novel in your hands. “How is this possible?”

“Well, the smut peddlers put out quite a lot of writing, they can write an entire book in a matter of days.” After receiving a questioning look from you, she adds, “From what I hear. I wouldn’t know.” She’s blushing from the tips of her ears down to her neck, and you suspect that you may find a surprise stash of erotic books near her bed at the Elfsong if you look close enough. 

Karlach claps Shadowheart on the shoulder. “Nothing to be ashamed of knowing. Just don’t hold back on me, alright?”

Shadowheart shakes her head lightly, “Regardless, we’ve been in the city for a few weeks and we haven’t exactly been subtle about it. I’m sure you’ve attracted plenty of attention.”

She’s not wrong– your entire group has had some very public confrontations, and several key figures of the city were aware of your presence. Plus there was an entire article in the Baldur's Mouth Gazette about your group’s accomplishments.

“Fair,” you admit. “But how did they know about Astarion?” You touch the cover carefully, as if expecting the book to combust in your hands.

“Well, aside from his loud proclamations of your love,” Shadowheart rolls her eyes. “I wouldn’t know. Maybe it was Mamzell Amira herself, she did mention you’d like the newest erotic verse.”

“Please tell me you’re going to read it,” Karlach says, barely containing her excitement. “If you don’t, I will.”

You tut at her. “If anyone here gets to read about my and Astarion’s passionate love making, it will be me.”

“Oh just you and the hundreds of others who have probably already picked up a copy,” Shadowheart adds, unhelpfully.

Despite that, you don’t feel mortified. Really, you just feel a burning sense of curiosity. You gently thumb the cover, hesitating to turn the page. “What if it’s terrible?”

“It probably will be,” Shadowheart says, matter-of-factly. “That’s not why you read it though.”

You flip to the first page and start skimming. “Sweet hells, his name is Arstaron.”

“That’s amazing,” Karlach’s face bends down to read too. “Did that just say ‘brooding curls’? Do his curls brood?”

Shadowheart is reading along as well, “There’s an entire page dedicated to describing his abs. Are they really this… sculpted?”

You shake your head. “They’re lovely, but I don’t think I could ‘grill a set of gnoll ribs over them’ like it says.”

“Enough descriptors, skip ahead to the good bits,” Karlach prods at your hand, begging you to hurry up.

You skip ahead a few dozen pages and stop when you spot the words ‘passionate thrusts.’ “Here we go…”

The three of you silently read for a moment before Karlach breaks the silence. “Oh my, soldier, how did I never consider how flexible you both are.”

Your face reddens, as you’re suddenly reminded that your friends are now vividly imagining you and Astarion vigorously making love. “Let’s, uh, go back to the descriptor bits.”

A few minutes later, you’re reading down a passage describing his ‘member’ and the laughter that rumbles out of Karlach might bring down the entire brothel. It’s certainly loud enough to bring the attention of the roguish lover being described.

“What do we have here?” Astarion stalks over, clearly sensing that the excited bustle might be worth a laugh. You hunch over the book, protectively. “My dear, are you hiding something from me?”

You quickly pass off the book to Karlach, quickly responding with, “I would never.”

“Love, you know you don’t need to hide anything from me,” he says, smoothly. 

Karlach is quick to follow that with a snort, “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Arstaron says when he takes off his lover’s clothes!”

“Arstaron?” He quirks an eyebrow at you in question and you reluctantly take the book back from Karlach to hand to him.

“Apparently,” you start. “You and I are the subjects of the latest erotic novel, courtesy of Sharess' Caress.”

Looking down at the cover, Astarion seems dumbfounded. “Is that supposed to be… me?”

You nod, reluctantly. You had gotten him a statue and a painting commissioned, but he still hasn’t seen himself often and you wouldn’t consider this the best representation. “They definitely took some, well a lot, of creative liberties.”

He looks down at it more carefully, amusement coloring his face. “I quite like what they did with your face, the longing is lovely.”

“That’s quite enough of that,” you say, reaching for the book. 

Astarion holds it just out of your reach and says, “No, no, we’ve earned a reward for helping the fine proprietor of this establishment. I want this to be my reward.”

“What,” you say, incredulously. “You wouldn’t read it. You said you don’t like smut.”

“I never said that.” He starts flipping through the pages of the book. “I just said I know more than these novels. I still do, mind you. But that doesn’t mean I’m not tempted by the mention of your ‘trembling lips’ as it says.”

“Wait, how many copies are there?” Karlach is back at the shelf. “Let’s read it together!”

You balk at the idea of your lovelife becoming the team’s book club. But you’re very much resigned to the idea that someone in your group is walking out with this book. “No, no, one copy is more than enough. Besides, we don’t want to take advantage of Mamzell’s generosity.”

“I don’t much like to share, love. Best get a few copies,” Astarion says, already adopting his reading stance as he flips back to the first page.

“Ugh, fine. Karlach, you and Shadowheart share one. I’ll share with Astarion.” You put up a finger. “Only on the condition that we tell no one else.”

A small huff leaves Karlach’s mouth. “Really? Really really?” Karlach pleads. “Maybe just one? I know Jaheira would get a kick outta this.”

You respect Jaheira so deeply, the idea of her reading of your wanton pleasures fills you with dread. “Please not Jaheira,” you whisper.

“Be careful, dear,” Astarion mumbles, his nose buried into the book. “You keep whispering her name like that, the next edition will feature a second silver-haired companion with pointy ears.”

His words give you a creeping paranoia and you look around, as if the smut peddlers are watching you at this very moment. “Okay, grab your books, let’s get out of here.”

“So soon?” Karlach says, nabbing a second copy of Love at First Knife before you can change your mind.

“Yes, we’re probably disturbing the clientele,” you say, waving away her disappointment. “Shadowheart?”

You realize that she’s already twenty pages into Love at First Knife and has barely registered your conversation. “Oh, yes? Are we leaving?”

“I work with a group of lecherous fools,” you mutter, grabbing her and Astarion by the sleeves. “Come on.”

You wave to Mamzell Amira on the way out, “Thank you for the books!”

She yells after you, “Be sure to return soon, we’re already hard at work on volume two!”

Shadowheart pauses her reading to perk up. “Oh, we’d best make a trip back then. This is surprisingly well-done.” She mumbles, half-heartedly, “Not that I would know.”

“No, no, you’re right,” Astarion says from your other side. “I quite like the way they describe my artistry. Take a look, dear.”

He shoves the book back into your face for a passage that reads, ‘his motions are as fluid as the waves of a water elemental’ and you swat the book out of the way. “If you start moving like that, I think I’m more likely to scream in horror.”

You walk along in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments, as your three companions read. Then you spot Karlach behind you, fanning herself with her copy of the book. She meets your questioning look with a chuckle, “I thought I was already too hot to handle, but I think I’ll need to cool down after reading the climax of that book.”

“How did you already get there?” Shadowheart gasps, looking up.

“I skipped to the good bits!” Karlach replies easily. “And let me tell you, they were good.”

You facepalm momentarily before looking between your fingers at Astarion. He seems remarkably enthralled by the book, and suddenly you’re worried. Oh no, what if I’m a better fictional lover than a real lover. Distantly, you hear Shadowheart and Karlach discussing the novel, but your attention is focused entirely on the man’s eyes, reading back and forth as you walk.

Sensing your gaze, the vampire finally looks up and smiles pleasantly. He closes the book and with his free hand reaches for yours. “My love, please, and I cannot stress this enough, do not take inspiration from this book.”

“What? Why not?” You ask, confused. “Karlach just said it was amazing?”

“Yes, well,” he leans into you. “I think doing somersaults into each other's arms might be more likely to result in a broken rib than pleasurable exploration.”

You give a surprised laugh, leaning back into him, “Are you doubting my expertise as a lover now?”

“Not at all, my dear,” he says, rubbing his thumb along the outside of your hand gently. “You are so very perfect. Which is why I wouldn’t want you to take too much from this poorly written version of you. Reality is far better than fiction in this case.”

Your heart swells at the words, though you can’t help but ask your next question. “So no chance of acrobatics after dark?”

Astarion takes a glance at your companions, and sees they’re still in a heated debate about the novel. With words meant only for you, he whispers into your ear. “Don’t you worry, there are plenty of other ways we can make use of our flexibility.”

With his breath tickling your skin, a few peppered kisses along your neck, and a promise of some time alone together, you make your way back to the Elfsong Tavern with a skip in your step. You wonder if the smut peddlers of Sharess' Caress know how deeply you care for this man, or how little they got right about all of the parts of him that matter.

Part 2 here!

[tricksterpale]

Farewell

It feels strange to write this. I've had this blog for over 10 years now. But the time has come for me to say goodbye.

After much thought and many quiet moments over the 2 year long hiatus spent reflecting, I’ve decided that I’m leaving this account. I’ll leave this blog up, for the sake of memories, for the archives of what was once a vibrant, welcoming place for me and for so many of you. But this will be my last post.

The gw2 fandom here on tumblr in particular, this place that I once cherished and found sanctuary in, no longer feels like a safe and healthy space for me, or for the work I want to share. And so, I find myself at this crossroads, saying goodbye not out of anger or resentment, but out of a quiet need to protect myself and my art.

I will still create. I will still share my work in other spaces, where I can breathe a little easier (and post work that this platform prohibits). But for now, and likely indefinitely, I need to step away from this blog in particular.

The years have not been kind to any of us, have they? The world has tilted in ways we never expected, dragging us all into its churning tides. The world has been harder, scarier, less stable with each passing day. A lot of us have lost things—people, or perhaps just the sense of comfort and security we once took for granted. Some days it's felt like nothing is safe, not even the things that I once believed would always be there.

It’s hard for me to ignore the way the fear, the uncertainty, the instability of the world around us has seemingly seeped into this space as well, turning what once felt like a refuge of comfort into something more toxic. I see the same things happening here that I see out there: endless conflict, divisiveness, quick and damning judgements based on differences of opinion and perspective, walls instead of bridges, cliques, lack of critical thinking, and a constant undercurrent of tension that makes the idea of posting here feel less and less safe for me. It feels as though the tumblr fandom community has become rife with the very things I came here to escape once upon a time. This blog is no longer a place I can find peace in.

These past 5 years in particular have forced me to expand and withdraw in ways I didn’t anticipate. In the beginning when I made this blog, there were the sparks of creativity fanned into blazes, the feeling of being connected to a group of like-minded souls, all of us sharing our love for Guild Wars 2, for art, for storytelling. There were certainly issues, but overall the things that made us different were the same things that brought us together. But as time wore on, it became clear that the fandom had lost something that once felt vital to me. The space became crowded with tension, with a kind of noise I no longer felt equipped to tune out. What once felt like a community that embraced differences in perspectives began to feel like a place where I was on edge, unsure of whether the next post or interaction would be one of support or of conflict.

It’s hard to admit this, but perhaps it’s not just the fandom that has shifted. Perhaps I have, too. The person I was in 2014 isn’t the person I am now, and thank god for that. When I first joined this space, I was looking for connection, for a place to share my work and my passion for Guild Wars. I wanted to be part of something larger than myself. But the world has changed, and so have I. The things that once fed me now leave me feeling hollow, anxious. The echoes of the past still linger, but the resonance isn’t the same. The goals and inspirations I once had feel more like a memory, a forgotten song that no longer moves me or serves me.

This isn’t to say that I regret any of it. I’ve learned so much, about myself and about others. I’ve seen incredible art, met incredible people, and shared moments of joy with many of you. Those things matter. They’ve shaped me in ways I can’t even fully express. But the person I am now can’t exist in the same space I once did. I no longer see the world, or this particular internet corner of the GW2 fandom, through the same lens.

The past five years especially have taught me that change isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes, it’s painful. Sometimes, it’s lonely. But it’s real. And it’s necessary.

My perspective, my sense of what’s important, of what matters, has shifted. The things I once valued here no longer hold the same weight. Like I said, I will leave TricksterPale up. I just will not be posting or logging in here again. For those who know my handle on discord, you can always find me there. You are more than welcome to poke me, even if it's been a long time. But otherwise, you can keep up with my art and musings on my newly created bluesky account from this point forward. I do not have an Instagram or Twitter anymore.

I don’t know what the next chapter looks like, but I know I’m not the same person I was when I first opened this blog. And for that, I’m grateful.

Take care of yourselves, and remember—change is inevitable, but it’s also a chance to grow into something new. Something better. And sometimes, part of that growth is being willing to let go and move on from things that no longer serve you.

[samwpmarleau]

fic: phantom limb

whumptober day 18: loss of identity masterlist: tumblr, ao3 To now be alone again, he should feel relieved and happy. Instead, he feels lost. He keeps expecting the Rider’s voice to pop into his head, or for his face to melt into a flaming skull, yet there’s nothing. Endless nothing. part 1

It’s an uncomfortable irony that at the moment, Robbie feels much like he did when first he took in Ghost Rider. Like neither his body nor his mind are his own, like his strings have been cut. Six years — plus too many more to count in the vaguery of other dimensions — he’d shared himself with another. To now be alone again, he should feel relieved and happy.

Instead, he feels lost. He keeps expecting the Rider’s voice to pop into his head, or for his face to melt off into a flaming skull, yet there’s nothing. Endless nothing. Despite all the creaks and groans of the Zephyr, the occasional clatter and chatter of its residents, everything is so quiet. He can hear himself think.

It’s disturbing.

It certainly doesn’t help that no one seems to know what to do with him. While he no longer gets peered at with apprehension, there’s still a lingering blanket over everything of, Why is this guy here?

Everyone on board has a role. Everyone except him. He eats their food, breathes their air, traverses their halls, yet has nothing to contribute. His one asset, the thing that had made him remarkable, is gone.

Well, kid, it doesn’t have to be.

The intrusive thought that sounds like the Rider but isn’t has been persistent. Robbie can feel his powers coursing through his veins like before, ready to burst from his fingertips. A pressure cooker with no off switch. He yearns to use them. Torture or tortillas, he doesn’t really care which.

But he can’t. He won’t. Because if he does, the voice in his head that sounds like the Rider will be the Rider. The spirit, wherever it resides currently, will know where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s with. What he’s using the powers for. Ever watchful, ever cruel.

While it’s been two weeks since the Rider visited him in his dreams, he keeps expecting another one. A reminder, perhaps, of his limitations, or the Rider changed his mind and any moment will walk through a portal, cackling. It’s its own kind of prison.

Though, even prisons have their bright spots. Light cutting through the darkness. So too does his, as hard as it is sometimes to remember.

“Hey,” says Daisy, stopping by his bunk, “we’re coming up on our next planet pretty soon. You can come with, if you want.”

Still caught in his melancholy, he answers too-snappishly, “And do what?”

Dissatisfaction shows on Daisy’s face at his tone, but she doesn’t take him to task for it. Yet. Robbie doubts he’s got much leeway left. “We can find you something to do.”

They can find him something, he reflects sourly. They have to think, because he’s functionally useless. Hell, he’d probably need a suit just like everyone else. A few weeks ago, he’d have been able to walk on any planet unaided, breathable air or no. Now? Now, he’s frustratingly human.

“No,” he says flatly, “you go ahead. I’ve got more reading to do anyway. Lots has happened since I left.”

Daisy looks very much like she’d like to say something terse, but refrains. “Okay, well … see you in about eight hours then. Happy reading.”

Happy is not the word he’d use to describe the last five years, according to the internet.

“Be safe,” he tells her.

“This ain’t my first rodeo,” Daisy laughs. “I’ll be fine.”

“Still.”

Daisy nods in placation, then leaves. The darkness returns; his few moments of rec time are over.

———

It’s nine hours, seven minutes until she, Kora, and the others get back. He’s counted. A very long nine hours, seven minutes. He does manage to actually read, not that it’s very uplifting. Chaos and pain and economic collapse and widespread destitution and war is what he’s missed. Some good things here and there, but mostly shit across the board. Half the population resurrecting all at once has, somehow, made things even worse, or so says Yo-Yo, S.H.I.E.L.D.’s boots on the ground.

That, at least, had been a nice distraction. It’s felt like forever since he’s had the chance to speak Spanish. To do so with Yo-Yo had felt familiar in a way he didn’t expect. The agent’s brief shit-talking of some new recruits had even drawn out a laugh from him.

“Let Daisy know we’ve got some specifics,” Yo-Yo had signed off. “Sorry, but it’s —”

“Classified.”

“Sí. Hablamos después, Burning Man.”

“Adiós.”

That’d been an hour ago, though, so in the meantime he’s had to return to waiting. Daisy’s timetable estimation had come and gone, making the waiting even worse. Had something happened?

He contemplates going to the cockpit to crack open a flight manual to keep himself occupied — for all his skills, piloting a spy agency aircraft is not among them, may as well learn something new — when there’s the sound of a buzzer heralding the cargo bay opening. Robbie resists the urge to scamper across the plane like an overeager puppy. He may be absent a demon, but his dignity is still intact. He leisurely walks in the direction of the cargo bay, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. He reaches his destination as the intrepid agents are removing their suits with the casualness of having done this a thousand times before.

“Everything go okay?” Robbie asks. He tries very hard not to notice how the strap of her undershirt has slipped down her shoulder.

“As good as it usually does. Not much life on this one either.”

Kora lets out a snort. “ ‘Not much life,’ she says. We nearly got eaten.”

“You what?”

“We did not nearly get eaten,” Daisy chides. She steps out of her suit and boots in favor of some more reasonable footwear. “There were these gremlin-looking things. I’m not sure what they were, we got some footage for testing. They’ve got some sharp teeth.”

Robbie gives her a once-over, searching for signs of mauling. “You got bit?”

“No, there were just a lot of them that came out of nowhere all at once. We had Fitz-Simmons’s alien repellent goo that scared them off, it was fine.”

“Alien repellent goo?” God, he’s going to be playing catchup forever at this rate.

“Yeah, it’s pretty sick. I’ll show you later, I gotta shower and eat first.” As Daisy begins to toss her gear into a canister for decontamination, she throws him a glance over her shoulder. “So, what’d you get up to?”

“Internet searches, mostly. Yo-Yo called, she said she has some mission-related things to tell you. She didn’t say any more than that.”

“Well, yeah,” Daisy says with a grin, “you’re just a civilian. You don’t get to know the fun stuff.”

A civilian. The word is an uncomfortable fit. He can barely remember what it was to be just a civilian. No more enhanced than an average guy walking down the street. Or, maybe more accurately, an average guy with a drug problem. An itch that he desperately wants to scratch but can’t because of the consequences. At the thought, his powers heat to a simmer, begging to be allowed to boil over.

You can use them a little, says the Rider-voice in his head. What’s the harm in that?

Robbie digs his nails into his palms.

Coward.

He startles when he feels Daisy squeeze his shoulder. “Hey, you okay? You kind of spaced out for a sec.”

Great. Just great.

He lies, “I’m good. Sorry.”

“If you’re sick or something, Kora can help with that.”

“Quit pimping out my powers,” Kora gripes. She takes one of the parachute packs off the wall to thwack her sister with it.

Daisy rolls her eyes. “Fine. Robbie, you can ask Kora for help if you need it.”

“I’m not sick.”

“Daisy’s not totally wrong,” Kora says. “You get one freebie, then after that you’ve got to have something to trade.”

Robbie glances down at Kora’s hands, recalling what Daisy had told him. How Kora had been able to bring her back from the brink of death, good as new. How she’d been able to heal dozens more over the years, ranging from a colicky Francisco Mackenzie to Sousa’s broken arm to Agent Piper hemorrhaging after taking a shot to the gut. Those were all physical injuries, though. What’s wrong with him, he doubts it’s within her scope. And even if it is, how’s he supposed to ask without sounding pathetic? All the problems in the multiverse and his is simply being unable to use his powers. Others have it worse. He needs to suck it up is what he needs to do.

“Thanks,” he says to Kora, “I’ll … keep that in mind.”

She gives him a warm smile, then flounces off with a tablet full of their planetary research.

“You sure you’re okay?” Daisy asks. “With the whole …” She mimes her head exploding.

“’Course. Don’t worry about me.”

“I’ll not worry about you when you give me something not to worry about.”

“I thought you had stuff to do.”

Daisy glowers at him. “I do. But don’t think that means you’re off the hook, Reyes.”

Before he can formulate either a comeback or diversion, or something to at least give him the last word, she heads off towards the showers, leaving him in silence.

Well, not silence exactly. The Rider-voice has plenty left to say.

[amywritezthingz]

ᯓ★ if you’re gonna let me down (let me down easy)

in which Billy receives a phone call from a very familiar voice and isn’t sure how to react. or what to do at all, really.

authors note: i’ve never really posted anything like this on tumblr before so sorry if the formatting is a bit odd, i’m still trying to find my way through the amount of stuff you can add!! happy reading though!

the smell of fresh coffee. the joyous giggling of both his beautiful wife and his beloved daughter. being sober for longer than he can count. this is what Billy Dunne’s life is now and he couldn’t ask for more. he wouldn’t dare.

the phone rings and Billy excuses himself from the garden to get it. “Billy Dunne speaking, who is this?” he asks.

“Billy?” he almost drops the phone. he fumbles with it for a moment, trying to get it back into his hand properly. “Daisy? is that you?” he asks slowly, cautiously. like it was too good to be true. she was in rehab, he was sure of it. at least that’s what simone had told him.

“i had a daydream today about the band and i wanted to give you a call to see how you were doing.. i think i’ve been awake too long,” Daisy finally says, interrupting his surprise and confusion. “i suppose i just want a distraction. care to entertain, Billy Dunne? i heard you’re a real thriller on a stage.” Daisy continues and Billy has half a mind to try to stop her rambling. she was trying to make a joke but it only sounded half-hearted. she was broken.

they’re both silent for a moment and Billy can hear her faint breathing through the phone. he closes his eyes, trying to process the situation. she had anyone else to call, anyone. so why call him?

“oh don’t let me down Billy Dunne, come on now! give us a song” Daisy exclaims. he can hear a faint shushing noise over the phone, clearly one of the poor rehab workers who has to moderate her phone calls. what a terrible job that sounds like. interesting, but horrifying.

“alright Daisy-Jones, i’ll give in. what song did you have in mind?” Billy asks in amusement, deciding to play into Daisy’s normal, confusing antics. he wasn’t sure why. it might’ve been the sound of her voice and its small wobble as she spoke. it might’ve been for old-times sake. but it certainly wasn’t, he tells himself, because he had missed her.

“ooo a request? must be my lucky day!” she says, her voice brightening slightly though a small playfulness is added to it. this makes him smile, though he wouldn’t admit that. “i want let me down easy. the first song we made together— properly together.” she says it all too quickly and Billy hums in acknowledgment.

“alright, if that’s what Ms Daisy Jones wants, that’s what she shall get.” he says. he recognises he hasn’t said much in this exchange, though he hasn’t got much to say at all. or maybe there’s too much to say. he wouldn’t know where to begin either way, so he continues the way he has.

“well i don’t have much time left so you better hurry up Billy Dunne, or you’ll owe me!” that’s the Daisy he knew. the Daisy he lo— once loved.

he doesn’t know why he does it, but he sets the phone on the small table below it, pulls up a seat and his guitar and begins to play. he hadn’t played the song in a while yet it felt like a second-nature. they had fought over this song, screamed at each other constantly. they had bickered, laughed, cried and built the foundations of their future relationship on this song. he hadn’t realised how much they had grown as people since they had first made it. how much they had changed. how much they had suffered since.

on the other side, Daisy listens. for the first time in a long time, she genuinely listens to what Billy Dunne has to say. she had heard the phone be placed on the table and she could hear the intricate strumming. she could hear his voice— soft and gentle. he had slowed the tempo and was even singing her part of the duet. Daisy closed her eyes, allowing herself to get lost in the music. she begins to sway slowly, her beautiful auburn curls moving with her. she felt content for the first time she had arrived here, and she didn’t want the moment to end.

eventually, it did. he had finished his song and picked the phone up again just as the worker was telling her that time was up.

“thank you, Billy Dunne. what a wonderful performance. you should really join a band” she muses. he’s about to speak. she puts the phone down and the line goes flat on his end.

“well Becky, i think it’s garden time! what do you think?” she asks the worker. the worker simply nods, trailing after Daisy as she walks off.

also on ao3 :

[reyggtv]

There's only so much I can say on Twitter to truly express my feelings about the show Hilda, and how much of an impact it has left on me to make me the kind of person I am today, so I'm taking to Tumblr to write all about it.

If you don't know who I am already, hi, I am ReyGGTV, though you can just call me Rey. I like to make YouTube videos, memes, talk with other Hilda fans, and make occasionally make art. You may already know me from the Hilda Crack videos I made since several years ago, as well as some more recent big videos of mine like my comparison video between Aster and Hilda. I am 20 years old, and have been a diehard fan of the franchise ever since I was just 14.

Firstly, let's discuss how I actually managed to discover Hilda in the first place. It was 2018, freshman year of high school had just started, during this time, I was still big fan of another animated TV show at the time called Star vs. The Forces of Evil. I was a fan of that show ever since its premiere in January of 2015 when I was only 11 years old. Honestly even if I don't look at it nearly as fondly as I do now, to its credit, the show did most certainly help me get interested into animation as a whole more than any other show I saw at the time.

Not even like 2 months after I got in though, I was kicked out. Not because I did anything wrong, but because for a while, my parents had me enrolled in a school district that I didn't even live anywhere near in at the time, so once they found out that I actually lived much farther from them, that's when they decided to let me go. This was devastating to me, all the friends I made in middle school, were suddenly going to go away, and it was only at the very last minute, at the principal's office that I received this news. I was upset, literally everything was going great and they just wanted to throw everything away for me, in favor for me going to a school that was so bad, it caused my family to move to an entirely new city with a better school by the time Sophomore year came around.

But anyways, about 2 weeks before all this happened, I was in a cartoon Discord server, where someone recommended me to watch this show called... you guessed it, Hilda. I took a lot at the promotional material for a while, and put it at the back of my head, not knowing that I would soon revisit it not long later. Fast forward to when I was out of school, I had like 2 weeks in the beginning of October to just cope with everything. It wasn't long that I just became bored, and wanted to do something better, so I pulled up Netflix wanting to find something new to watch. The suggestion from someone about Hilda just so happened to come up on my mind, so I was like "Eh, sure, why not?". I put it on, and the rest was history. I knew from the very moment I finished watching the intro for the very first time, that this was about to be the show of a lifetime for me.

Despite that however, I did not anticipate just how much impact Hilda would leave on the work that I am now doing nearly 6 years after that very faithful day.

I guess the biggest reason why the show left such a massive impact on me right from the beginning is because of its main title character, Hilda. Look, I may be no blue-haired adventurer from the wilderness that likes to munch on cucumber sandwiches all the time, but Hilda at the time for me, was the most relatable character and the character I found the most comfort in when watching it for the first time. Just like me, Hilda too, was also forced to move away from the place and friends she was always happy to be with, despite all her efforts, all it took was one giant, to come and crush it all, leaving her forced to live a new life in a new environment she was not familiar with at all. But, she moved on. She knew that while this was not the ideal way for things go out, life always comes with surprises. But maybe, just maybe, this could be something that could work out in her favor. This whole becoming friends with other humans and living in the big dirty ol' city, could be the best decision she has ever made. And I think it goes without saying that as the series continued, it was.

This was a message that I desperately needed to hear as I was going through overwhelming times at such a young age, and one that I was so happy to hear and watch once I finally finished the first two episodes of this amazing damn show. It showed me that if an 11-year-old girl from the wilderness can be brave enough to move into the big city, be okay and make the best out of it, maybe I too, will be okay with belonging to a new school, finding new friends, and creating new passions for me to follow for years to come. Hilda inspired me to look towards a bigger and brighter future, rather than doubt the bad that comes with the present. For that, I am forever grateful for the creative and writing team of this show, for helping me go through such a difficult time in my life, and convincing me that even despite all that has happened, there will always be something better to look forward to.

I would be lying if I said that this was the only reason as to why I ended up becoming such a huge fan of the show for the next 5 years. Asides from the writing being so good it literally cured my depression. The animation, worldbuilding, and characters were just unlike anything I have ever seen with my own two eyes. It was simple, yet jaw dropping at the same time. Just a silly kid either helping a Raven jog back his memory, try and fight nightmare spirits or ghosts, or help Jellybean out of a scary situation in which everyone wrongfully accuses him of being a big scary black hound. Even if certain episodes of season 1 didn't always turn out perfect, I would always rewatch every single one of them all day for several hours and for several weeks. I had even skipped multiple days of school especially when it was raining, just so I can head to the living room, cuddle up in some warm blankets, with the heater on during the winter season, and just binge the crap out of it for multiple hours a day. This was just the show that I can always count on to bring back the happiness inside of me. Even when I wasn't necessarily having a bad day, I would still continue to watch it for hours because it just kept on getting better and better with every watch I could get possible, it was almost like an addiction almost, haha.

Hilda was the show for me, and I had no intention of trying to watch anything else.

It was also around this time that I started to also get myself more involved with the show's fandom as well, back when it was a lot more populated and not as niche as it is now. While I'm not gonna say that my reputation in it has always been 100% perfect, at the end of the day, I'm just forever grateful I was able to meet some of the most wonderful people and hundreds of fans like myself because of it like @hkthatgffan, @helgafolk618, and many more I can't list here 'cause most of them are not on Tumblr. So much so that I now have the pleasure of creating hundreds, if not thousands of people who are fans/supporters of ME all across all my social media pages. All because I like to talk about Hilda, literally all the time. And to those reading this who has ever left a nice comment on one of my posts, said hi to me on my Discord server, worked with me on a commission, even went as far as to make fan-art of me or just tuned into any of my content whatsoever, thank you. Your support has left a massive impact on me and what I'm continuing to do now. Because at the end of the day, it's not about any popularity points you get from just talking about a TV show consistently for 6 years, for me at least, it has always been about making thousands, sometimes, even millions, happy with my love for it that is the reason that I'm doing any of this in the first place. I love Hilda, always have, and I want to make people happy the same way Hilda did for me, all those years ago.

Surprisingly enough, even though I was already as big of a fan as I could possibly be by the time November of 2018 rolled around, I still wasn't really a guy interested in getting my hands on Hilda merchandise. I knew that the graphic novels by Luke existed, but the only thing I even managed to get for myself at the time was this old T-shirt I bought from the now defunct official Zazzle store they had up for like a few months lol

I guess that all changed when I got my first ever Hilda plush though when I was 15. While it has now certainly showed its age after nearly 5 years, I loved this thing so much lol. It wasn't official because official Hilda plushies didn't exist at the time. I bought it off an Etsy store from AngelinaLily, and I would literally take this thing out with me everyday to everywhere I went to and take photos of it, especially in the wilderness. It was my favorite pastime. My little Hilda, in the palm of my hand 😆. Hey, when you have to wait more than 2 whole years for a brand-new season, what else are you gonna do to entertain yourself during the hiatus?

I had gotten this in the mail right when I had just exited out the mental hospital because I was actively wanting to h*rt myself and potentially putting myself in danger of committing s*icide. Because while Hilda did definitely help me cope with a lot that I was going through at the time, there was still a lot of overwhelming issues I was experiencing, and my mental health was the lowest that it had ever been. This plush effectively, was a way to help me cope with those thoughts I had, which turned out to be a great thing because I literally couldn't be happier with it.

After that, I just decided that "You know what? What if I just got... ALL of the Hilda merchandise?" Thus... that now leading to my massive hoard of Hilda stuff, that I now have everywhere in my room lol

These photos aren't even all the ones I have!

At 16, I decided to write Luke Pearson an e-mail, thanking him for his work and how much it has inspired me to become the person I am now, explaining everything that I just mentioned in this Tumblr post, and at the end of the day, just wanting him to know, that his creations mean a grave big deal to me, and that I will always appreciate just how much of a positive impact it has left me. I didn't really expect anything to come out of it, but about several weeks later, he said this to me lol

"I just wanted to say thank you for writing and relaying your experience to me. I'm sorry to hear that you've been through such difficult times, but I'm glad that you're able to look back on those times and find yourself in a better place. And if Hilda has played any small part in that, which it seems like it has, then I'm extremely pleased about that and it warms me to hear it. It can be hard to know exactly what good a cartoon can actually do for the world (beyond being a few hours of amusement) which is strange when so many people devote so much of their time and creative energy into making it happen. But hearing something like this goes a long way to making it feel like something genuinely worthwhile. I hope things continue to look up for you and hope you're taking care in these trying times." - All the best, Luke

When I tell you I cried like a baby when I first received this e-mail from him, I really did, lol. Hearing this, from the man who made it all possible, was truly the most inspirational thing I could have ever heard. And I was happy, that he was happy, that I was truly able to tell him for the first time, just how much his creation has meant to not just me, but to soooo many fans just like myself. It was truly something to never forget.

Now I'm 20 years old, still talking about the same ol' dang kids show I fell in love with all those years ago. What's happening now? Well now, I am an aspiring film director and video editor who has been taking film classes in community college for the past like 2 years now, I should've graduated already by now but turns out, college is pretty fricking expensive, and I don't even know if I have the funds to try and even graduate by next year. Asides from that though, I am actually in the works of creating my first ever feature-length Hilda fan-film called The Ultimate Hilda Iceberg. It will basically be one of those iceberg explanation videos you see on YouTube, but with the original source of the iceberg being about Hilda, specifically a version someone made on the r/HildaTheSeries subreddit. I've had the idea for this Iceberg video/fan-film as far back as January 2021, with the current script having started work as far back as nearly 9 months ago. And it's still not even finished! Me, as well as tens of dozens of other Hilda fans like myself, are actively working on it to have it be ready by the time fall of this year comes around, right now as we speak! If you want to support and/or follow this massive project as more updates come around you can either follow the official accounts on Twitter/X (@/HildaIceberg) or on Instagram (@/theultimatehildaiceberg).

Asides from that, the biggest passion project I have for my career moving forward, is directing my own big-budget Hilda movie. Specifically, a live-action Hilda movie. Now now, BEFORE you try and cancel me and tell me that this is the stupidest idea of all time and could taint Hilda's image forever. Let me cook. I am a huge movie bluff, I know which live action remakes are genuinely amazing, and which ones just really suck. My vision for a live-action Hilda movie is to make it sorta like how Who Framed Roger Rabbit was. All of the human characters and outside settings are done with real people and practical assets, whilst creatures like Trolls, Elves, or stuff that would normally be done with CGI, be actually turned into 2D-animation, ideally in the same style as that of the Netflix show. Ideally, I also want it to remain as faithful to at least how the show was as possible in terms of story. Look, if there's gonna be anyone else who knows their Hilda best asides from people like Luke or Andy Coyle, it's gonna be me, just sayin.

In conclusion, I just want to wrap this up by giving a huge shout out to people like @littledigits and literally ANYONE who has ever done any time making this fantastic and wonderful show (I couldn't think of anyone else to tag so I only tagged you Meg so sorry if that bothers you 😅). As this post has indicated several times, this show, has really made the best kind of impact in my life and I'm forever grateful to the creator Luke, the directors Andy Coyle, Megan, etc, the voice actors, artists, editors, composers, everyone who has ever had a part in making this amazing show just, please let me hug you. While I may not have been as enthusiastic with the show's third season overall as I wanted to in my opinion, Hilda will always have a soft spot in my heart, for years and years to come, for just how much it truly inspired me, to not just not only being able to have the luxury to do the things I love to do now, but do so in a way that has made, and hopefully will continue to make thousands, hundreds of thousands if not millions of people happy, because of the love that I will continue to have for this very show. Just because a show is small, doesn't mean it can't leave big enough impacts on people for the better ❤️

[madara-fate]

Being recent on Tumblr and in the Naruto fandom in general (I've been there for 04 months), this fandom has really made me see all the colors.

As a die-hard fan of Sakura and Sasuke who didn't particularly care about the prospect of them as a couple before, I tended at first to subscribe mainly to individual pro sakura and pro sasuke accounts, something I I quickly regretted it because lord, these two fandoms suck. I love both of these characters and it's very difficult to see their two fandoms being so vicious towards each other. If you don't like one of them, why talk about it? why make so many passive-aggressive comments to provoke the other party? They despise each other so much that it's difficult to have a moment of peace for those who truly love both.

And then, let's not even talk about the strange takes they have about them.

I swear if I ever come across something like "Sasuke was right" or "Sasuke Revolution" or "Sakura deserved better - that is, she deserved everything except Sasuke - or "Sakura lost all its development", I'm going to lose my shit.

Their views are biased, self-centered, misinformed and so oc for many that it sometimes makes you wonder if they even understand the characters they say they love. It seems more like they… project their problems and their insecurities onto these two and it's frankly disappointing to see. They like the fanon version of Sasuke and Sakura that they have built in their head and not their canon character and it's quite sad that such characters are reduced to stereotypes by their respective fandom. Not all of them are like that of course, but I've encountered so many of them that it ended up exhausting any good feelings I had towards these two fan bases.

All of this ended up pushing me towards the SS fandom because it's easier to find fans who like both characters. And finally, even though this fandom also has its own absurd points of view that sometimes make me want to throw myself out of a window as well as a blatant bias towards one of the two characters that bothers me, it's still better than the shit I've seen before. here at least I don't have to worry about reading crap like "Sasuke is toxic", "Sasuke didn't do anything wrong", "Sakura objectifies/is obsessed with Sasuke", "Sakura is poorly written" etc and I admit it's a relief. Plus, it's nice to see the fans celebrating them and their relationship, which is what I signed up for after all.

Not to say one is better than the other because the whole Naruto fandom is shit anyway but at least there is more room to like these two characters without getting attacked in this fandom than in the other two.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

You know, your experience of the pro Sasuke and pro Sakura fandoms hating on each other, essentially being what pushed you towards the SS fandom, kinda echoes what pushed me to being a SS fan as well. When the series ended, I was fully neutral on them, but I definitely expected them to get together because it was just obvious. But after seeing some of the absolutely absurd takes that a lot of the fandom had towards them, it made me want to defend them because what they were saying just wasn't true. So much like you, I was also pushed towards the SS fandom due to fandom hatred.

And yes, the SS fandom also has it's fair share of absurd points and biased takes, as I've certainly had to argue against some of them before. Yet, it's still better than the toxicity and the sheer delusion exhibited from a very loud portion of the anti fandoms.

[island-in-the-shadows]

Thank you for the very detailed reply! You’ve given me a lot to think about from a legal perspective. Follow up questions (feel free to ignore if I’m pestering you) in the hypothetical scenario that Felix simply tires of Oliver the way he did with Eddie, does Oliver still react the same way? If their friendship had ended on more amicable, gradual, mundane terms, is Oliver still pushed over the edge to the point that murder is on the table? I think his first instinct would be to crank up the lies, but if Felix doesn’t bite? He’d still be heartbroken, but would he be as angry as he was at “you make my blood run cold”?

Had Felix lived, do you think he would’ve eventually grown into a stiff upper lipped snob? After all, Elspeth was also a party girl who fraternised with rock stars and then look at the version we meet.

This is an unpopular opinion I guess but to me the heartbeat of the movie was Felix. I know Oliver is more popular, especially on Tumblr, but I was completely smitten with Jacob Elordi. What are your headcanons about him? Mine is that the reason he was found so quickly is because Venetia raised the alarm. I think she was very very attached to him (maybe to an unhealthy amount the way a lot of people seem to be) and no matter how busy things got she always had one eye on her brother, making sure he was okay.

My pleasure to answer, Anon! 1. In the hypothetical scenario that Felix got bored, Oliver would continue to try to find ways to hook Felix back in. The only way he would then act with more murderous intent would be if there were no going back whatsoever. No way out but this. Oliver, in the moment where he decides to give Felix the bottle, is a hurt animal backed into a corner. So he reacts impulsively and emotionally. Outside of that context, he will continue to do anything that he has to do to continue to be interesting to Felix and to keep himself in Felix's orbit while not harming Felix as long as he does not believe that there is no other way. I do not think there would be a reason for Oliver to let it go. He would keep at it and never let go. And it's evident that he would continue to get at it since, in film canon, it has been 15 years and he continues to view Felix as his God, worthy of his love and idolatry, despite being dead. If I may quote NBC Hannibal for a moment, Dr. DuMaurier tells Will Graham (now having accepted the dark parts of his nature and desirous to act chaotically in order to free his would be lover): "You found religion. Nothing more dangerous than that." Though I won't get into the dissection we could make of that line in the context of its source, I can express that, to Oliver, Felix is, essentially, his religion. And Oliver is nothing short of devout. Yes, even sacrificing Felix falls into a sense of idolatry because he has forever frozen Felix at the height of his perfection through Oliver's eyes. The way Felix is framed in the opening and closing montages of the film, through Oliver's eyes, tells us as such. Felix is forever perfect. Given that this is how Oliver sees Felix and feels about Felix regardless of all the foibles that Felix certainly has, he would NEVER let Felix go. Ever. He would keep trying to hook Felix or he would die trying.

2. I do speculate a bit about this more in my fic than I have in proper meta, but...Felix would have an immense amount of pressure on him to confirm to fit a specific mould. Despite that Venetia is older, context clues in the film (such as Felix having the conversation with Farleigh in regards to money for Frederica) indicate that it would have been Felix to inherit the estate and the title that goes along with it, certainly. This means that while some deviation from the "standard" picture of stiff upper lip aristocracy might've been tolerated, it would not have been permissible and allowed in its entirety. @leiflitter covers bits of this in their wonderful You're Almost Home series which, if you've not read, I strongly recommend. In their story, an adult Felix still retains bits and pieces of the vibrant personality that makes him him, but parts of it have been dampened by the circumstance of him having a quickie marriage to a woman he barely knew because she got pregnant, becoming a parent (especially becoming a parent very young), and eventually becoming the Master of the Estate and, if I'm not mistaken, a baronet. Per the rules of the aristocracy, there was no way that Felix could simply not marry a girl he got pregnant. He had to marry her to cover the scandal and the baby serves as an heir which would be expected of him. Even if we go outside of this wonderful fic, and go back into canon meta, Felix has expectations on him: marrying a woman, having heirs, inheriting and managing Saltburn. It doesn't seem like a lot and it does come with gargantuan wealth but, you said it yourself, Elspeth used to run around with musicians and was probably wild back in the day, but she became a house cat, so to speak, when she became the Lady of Saltburn. And Elspeth would arguably have had less expectation on her. She needed to marry rich and birth heirs and be the picture of quiet civility. She is likely, as we know her, a dampened version of who she was before marriage. Felix has just the bit more of not only perpetuating the system to which he belongs but managing it. It's a lot of responsibility to put on one person. And, I think, he's already keenly aware of the responsibility that will fall onto his lap even before his father dies. It's why he buries his emotions in alcohol, drugs, and (terrible) sex with girls he couldn't give a flying fig about. So, while I do think some who 20yo Felix is survives an adulthood in the aristocracy, we're looking at an adult Felix being kinda like his mum in some aspects and kind of like his dad in others (dampened, stiff upper lip versions of who they probably really are).

3. I don't know that it's an unpopular opinion, actually. In my opinion, the film itself tells you it's about Felix. It's often misinterpreted (specifically by shit critics and YouTubers) as being a bad "Eat the Rich" movie with Oliver being the wild bisexual who just wanted the Cattons' riches. However, the first line is about Oliver "not" being in love with Felix. And, we know from Emerald, that is a lie. That Oliver was in love with Felix. It's evident from how the camera frames Felix. It's evident with the fact that the light goes from rich and golden while Felix is alive, to stark and white in a post-Felix world. Felix is Oliver's religion, and he is the story. He is, as you said, the heartbeat. What happens is that Oliver is a lot more fun to dissect than Felix is. I say this as someone who continuously dissects Felix and have put a lot of the dissection of his character into fic. But, Oliver would not be Oliver without Felix. He didn't really exist before him and we wouldn't have the film or any of the events without Felix being this Apollo coded figure. Also, yes, Jacob Elordi's subtle performance as Felix often goes unnoticed, but it was absolutely wonderful.

4. Ok so one of my head-canons would be this (another long post because it's how I do when I really get into it). Venetia is his older sister, so I agree that she is very protective of him (Again, something I explore more in my fic than I have in meta but I could do a whole post on the sibling dynamics). I have other small ones like Felix repeatedly took his shoes off and threw them when he was very little, that his guitar playing is subpar but he knows how to play Oasis' Wonderwall and probably played it for Ollie, that he could not pick out India or Annabel out in a police lineup (I just don't think he really views them as people), that he has a MASSIVE sweet tooth and prefers "girly" cocktails to more "manly" drinks but doesn't order them because he doesn't want people to judge, that he has comfort clothes and wears them until they're beyond repair (like the blue sweater at the beginning of the film having holes for example), etc. Felix is lovely and we know so little about him and I do adore him. I get why Oliver lost his mind over this big himbo.

[nontoxic-writes]

okay i honestly forgot it was wednesday until i opened tumblr and saw the tags oops.

thank you so much @firenati0n, @kiwiana-writes, @hgejfmw-hgejhsf and @stereopticons for the tags!!!

here’s some unedited words from the new henry pov chapter(s) that im apparently adding to this wip even though its already 40k ugh

Alex had been a breath of fresh air.

Slightly tipsy and his eyes ablaze on Henry’s, he had felt it—that wildfire that terrified him at the Olympics catching fire.

Henry never wanted anything as badly as he wanted Alex in that moment, and then he had opened his rude, American mouth, and Henry knew he was a goner.

Not that he hadn’t spent the last four years playing over that moment at the Olympics, taking it out, examining it by candlelight, by moonlight, by the bright midday sun. All hours, all places. He would take it out in the library at Kensington over afternoon tea and trace over the way Alex’s mouth had formed every letter of his name. He would take it out in the gardens after breakfast and make sure he hasn’t forgotten the specific shade of brown of Alex’s eyes. He would take it out over meetings with his grandmother at Buckingham and study the way Alex’s eyelashes brushed over his cheekbone. He would take it out on his way to Paris for the convention and conjure up that spark he’d felt in his chest.

He’s aware he has been entirely gone on Alex since the moment they met.

But at the wedding, when Alex’s singular, inebriated focus was on Henry, it took every ounce of energy in his body not to fall at Alex’s feet and beg him to allow Henry to worship there.

Alex had been snide, condescending, and downright rude.

It made Henry’s jaw ache from holding back on the things he wished to say.

i feel like mostly everyones done this by now, but absolutely no pressure tagging @indestructibleheart, @maxbegone, @beautifulhigh, @cha-melodius, @inexplicablymine and an open tag for anyone else who wants to slide into wip weds last minute (or like wip thursday or friday or whatever, i certainly dont judge). if you take the open tag please tag me, i want to see what yall are working on!