#well until Jason dies
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ghost-bxrd · 1 year ago
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Hi, I was just wondering how Talon Dick would react to Jason getting tagged by either fear toxin or cuddle pollen? 🦉
Ah yes! We already had cuddle pollen in “language of birds”, so let’s go with fear toxin!
Okay so I think we can all agree it’s no surprise that what Dick would see if he got tagged… would be Jason either being turned into a talon like him or dying in a gruesome way (maybe even at Dick’s own hands).
But Jason? Well, it’s no secret that they’re… very codependent. But his fears would manifest as Dick leaving him. Abandoning him (for someone better).
Consequently he’d be a mess of begging Dick not to leave, that he’ll do better. Be better.
Dick would be panicking, trying to reassure Jason that he would never, ever leave him, aggressively cuddling and cooing at him.
Of course, none of it works. Jason isn’t actually seeing him, so at one point the image of Dick holding him would switch to someone else taking him away and Jason would turn downright feral trying to get away.
Dick is hurt, of course. But he knows Jason doesn’t mean it (right?) and so he would stay and allow every single hit to land (“it’s fine, talons heal fast”) until Bruce physically pulls him away to administer the antidote.
After many, many tears and hugs Jason would try to make Dick promise never to let him hit Dick again, even if it’s because of fear toxin. Dick neither agrees nor disagrees, which, in Dick language, is an adamant refusal.
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superbat-lmao · 3 months ago
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Alfred takes his first vacation 9 months after Jason comes to stay at the manor. He’s in England for two weeks visiting friends and traveling through his old homeland.
Jason and Bruce are home alone with each other and Jason has really only started to get comfortable. It’s a long two weeks, but they make it through.
When he comes back, he gives Jason a small souvenir he brought back with him and Jason asks him a million and one questions about how it went and who he saw. Alfred laughs and says that for Jason’s spring break the two of them should take a trip there together. They could go see some plays or the royal ballet or even visit some of the castles. Jason is a little stunned at the idea but is very excited. He asks if Alfred ever took Bruce or Dick.
Alfred says that neither of them had a particular interest in some of the things he did, but that they took other trips together. Jason ask if he’ll get to meet some of Alfred’s friends from the service or if he can see where Alfred went to school or any one of a hundred other questions.
Jason’s nervous when it’s finally time to go to England but Alfred tells him Bruce offered to drop them off in the batplane so they wouldn’t have to take public transit. It’s also so Bruce can say goodbye at the absolute last minute. Because it’s only a week, but Jason’s only been with him about a year and been formally adopted less than half that time.
So Alfred shows him as much as he can. They go to the theater and Alfred takes Jason to his favorite play. They go to the ballet together, visit some castles, it’s peaceful in a way Gotham isn’t. And for how used to the city Jason is, Alfred brings him down to a steadier pace.
They have a lot of fun and Jason only ignores directions once on account of not being able to hear him too well when they’re taking the tube in London, which is easily forgiven.
Jason asks Alfred about other holidays he took in Europe, or the other countries he’s traveled to. It’s when Jason himself really begins to open up about his life on the streets or living with Willis or Catherine. Alfred is sharing so many stories with him that Jason slowly starts to reciprocate.
Alfred introduces Jason to two of his old friends, one who owns a pub and tries to let Jason have a sip of beer and the other whose wife runs a shop that Jason picks out souvenirs for Bruce and Dick from.
When it’s time for Bruce to come pick them up, Jason asks if they’ll come back. Not on all of Alfred’s vacations, but on shorter ones together. Alfred says he would be delighted to do so.
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aroaceleovaldez · 1 year ago
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Something something Jason feeling like he doesn't quite fit as "Greek" or "Roman" as a metaphor for bisexuality, particularly the semi-canonical bi-coding in his half of experiences during the Cupid scene and how Favonius and Cupid speak to him in parallel to the scenes confirming Nico is gay.
Something something the camps as metaphors for traditionally acceptable forms of relationships and Nico living as a rogue outside of them, rejecting expectation (ergo in himself representing a metaphor of queer identity and living outside of boxes and defined/usually hetero-allonormative/binary ideas of what love/relationships should look like) versus Jason struggling with the expectation to conform to a label and even discussing with Nico both of them remaining at CHB together.
Something something the inverse of Jason shifting away from the camps after he breaks up with Piper, feeling lost and unable to find a place between the camps as he begins to explore his queer identity properly for the first time versus Nico only remaining at CHB because he has entered a relationship. In this essay I will-
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apollosgiftofprophecy · 1 year ago
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Why Jason Grace is The Most Tragic Character in the Riordanverse
*in no way is this trying to dial down Nico's own suffering, I'm just stating my case for Jason because godsdamn SOMEBODY needs to say it!*
@most-tragic-character-tournament here's propoganda i came out guns ablazing
List of why fans are saying Nico:
Lost his mother
lost years of his life
found out he was a demigod at age 10
lost sister at 10
rough relationship with his dad
closeted gay
crush is madly in love with somebody else
forced to come out
List of why Jason is more tragic:
Lost his mom to alcoholism/mental decline
Lost his ENTIRE FUCKING CHILDHOOD because Said Mom gave him up to Juno to be raised by a PACK OF WOLVES who would've EATEN HIM if he was WEAK FOR EVEN A SECOND - AS A FUCKING TWO YEAR OLD
Was a trained demigod FROM THE GET-GO (again, TWO YEARS OLD)
Because of previously stated separation, was TAKEN FROM HIS SISTER WHO LOVED HIM SO MUCH SHE RAN AWAY BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T TAKE THE GUILT AND FEAR AND RAGE THAT FILLED HER AT HIS ABSENCE
Was set up into a "perfect" relationship by Juno/Hera WHILE HAVING HIS MEMORIES TAKEN
Jason may not have had the awful forced outting Nico had to go through, but...that's not really his fault? Nobody has any control over their sexual identity, and Jason? Well. He never really got to explore it. Because that was taken from him too.
Thinks he LOST LEO VALDEZ, ONE OF HIS ACTUAL FIRST FRIENDS, WHO LIKED HIM FOR HIM AND NOT BECAUSE OF HIS STATUS
FORCED TO COMPLY TO A DEMANDING SOCIETY THAT EXALTED HIM FROM DAY 1 BECAUSE HIS DAD IS THE OH-SO-IMPORTANT JUPITER (*cough victim of nepotism cough*)
AND WHEN HE TRIES TO COMBAT THAT NEPOTISM HE KEEPS GETTING PUSHBACK UNTIL HE FALTERS
then. then his girlfriend breaks up with him - not because of any drama, or even a disagreement, but over a very valid point
their relationship didn't exactly start out very...honestly. Jason had been mind-wiped of all memories and Piper had fake ones implanted into her to make her think she liked Jason as more than a friend. sure. they had a pretty nice relationship, but when everything slowed down and they took a look at their lives?
Piper's the one who sees it first, and makes the decision. Jason is heartbroken, but understands - he even, dare I say, agrees that they should end the relationship. it was built on fake memories - you could say it was built on lies.
and now Jason has this opportunity to step back and analyze who he is and what he wants.
what he finds is depressing. everything he's had, everything's he's been up till now...
it's not him.
he never wanted to be raised by Lupa and her wolves.
he never wanted to be Jupiter's son
he never wanted to be the exalted leader Camp Jupiter praised him for
From day 1 his life was somebody else's. his first steps were under the tutelage of a wolf, not of the loving eyes of his sister
Camp Jupiter only ever saw him as the demigod to be praised and turn to above all others, even before he became praetor.
Jason's life...was never his own.
and now that he's away from all that pressure and expectation...he doesn't know who he is.
Son of Jupiter?
Champion of Juno?
Praetor of the Twelfth Legion?
Member of the Prophesized Seven?
Hero of Olympus?
no. he was never himself under these names.
he was never...Jason.
but maybe now he could start navigating his own life. without some god intervening for once. this would be good for him, and for Piper, to find their own way.
but then. then they talk to Herophile...and find out one of them will die. And Jason? Well, he's not going to let Piper be taken from the life she deserves. he may not be her boyfriend, her knight in shining armor, but he sure as HELL loves her - especially as a friend. And if there's one thing you should know about Jason? It's that he loves his friends.
so what does he do? He sacrifices himself. He duels Caligula himself, and urges Piper, Meg, and Apollo to Go, save yourselves! and -
he's stabbed. through the chest. the only thing he can do? Look to Apollo, to the blue gaze so much like his own drenched in horror, and ask; Remember. because he didn't get to live the life he wished, but maybe Apollo could - no, Apollo can, he can make the difference Jason wanted. Because he trusts Apollo.
Jason doesn't regret his sacrifice. he saved Piper from the prophecy, after all. He saved Apollo & Meg's lives too.
in fact, Jason didn't really mind dying. Because he didn't have much of a life either. And a life like that? shrug It's worth sacrificing for those who deserve theirs.
and as icing on the cake, remember who Jason's father is? The almighty, all-powerful Jupiter himself, King of the Gods?
he doesn't do a damn thing to help Jason. Not a single. Thing.
because Jupiter/Zeus doesn't care about his children. Especially his sons.
Zeus saved Thalia. But he didn't even try to save Jason.
Trying would have at least lessened the pain...
People like to claim Jason is a bland, boring character who's never suffered a minute in his life. That he's a golden retriever with no flaws.
Well.
Take a look up there and ask yourself - it that the life of a boy who knows no suffering?
Because it sure as hell don't look that way to me.
To me, it looks like Jason was a used, depressed young man who never got to choose his own path. Who's father abandoned him first to his wife's mercy, then to a cruel emperor's.
Jason Grace suffered.
and he never got to live that happy life he saw within the Fates.
Never got to get that family, those grandchildren he saw himself telling the story of the Argo II to.
Because The Fall of Jason Grace is a true, utter tragedy.
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somewhereincairparavel · 11 months ago
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Just posting this for the ppl who LOVE to push the FANON narrative that Jason and Percy aren't close friends as CANON. Grover is listed as Percy's main best friend (along with Annabeth ofc but she remains in the girlfriend category) and Jason comes literally SECOND in the Official Riordan wiki fanpage, and he's even labelled as "one of percy's best friends" not just "friend" or "close friend" like the others.
I don't get why people deny this SO bad like- pls let the almost nonexistent rivalry they both had (which is mostly between Jason and Percy fans) stay fanon.
"Jason and Percy are just co workers, barely even friends" Yup. Sure. I was so mislead by this narrative before I picked up HOO and was pleasantly surprised by how genuine percy and jason's friendship was in the books.. I half expected them both to ignore eachother or something throughout the scenes with how much the fandom exaggerated their rivalry/coldness with eachother.
Fanon is awesome. But it's not when you push it as canon. Let them be two seperate things please.
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phoenixkaptain · 11 months ago
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Summary:
The Wayne family has had a long history of shifting into raccoons, the most prominent predator in New Jersey, and Thomas Wayne is no different. Martha Wayne comes from a family that mostly shifts into an incredibly small species of bat. Bruce has a fifty-fifty chance of being capable of shifting to a relatively large raccoon or an incredibly small bat.
He turns into a bat.
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navree · 2 years ago
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there's a lot of reasons why that titans show wanting to do batfam specific arcs, especially death in the family/under the red hood, flopped so hard each time, but one of the biggest is that they basically brought jason back after, like, a fucking month and it basically negates the entire thing
#personal#i mean the entirety of the stupid plotline makes me want to go mad#like i think they do actually have bruce kill the joker in retaliation which is like well then what's jason's problem then#that was the main sticking point for him#and then they have bruce like actively looking for replacement robins which like???? he didn't want another robin????#he was DONE with robins until tim full on blackmailed his way into the position like a little fucking menace#but like a huge part of the tragedy of the whole thing is the amount of time jason missed#jason dies as a shrimpy fifteen year old (like i think he's under five foot i think he's canonically 4'6??? baby!!!)#and then he comes back and he's older and more jacked and significantly more jaded#than he was in his 'i'm robin and being robin gives me magic' era#he lost a significant swath of his life and bruce never got to watch his son grow up it's fucking sad#and more importantly bruce had a lot of time to sit with this loss#to try and get to something of an acceptance and understanding that it happened and there's no way to change it#the *entire family* did they all had to take a lot of time to come to terms with that#and then suddenly jason's back??? and all that attempted healing gets thrown way out of whack because suddenly he's here again???#listen there's a way to do death in the family/under the red hood to make it a huge gut punch in a tv format#it's a bit difficult because it's such an iconic and well known arc that people can sometimes be blasé about it all#but there's a way that you can make it Work and work really well (as always i have thoughts)#titans uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh titans did not do that. at all. they beefed it.
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bats-and-the-birds · 9 months ago
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I am thinking about the batkids and their rooms at the manor.
When Dick was first brought to the manor, Alfred put wooden letters that spelled out his name on the outside of the door to his room. He wanted the boy to feel like he belonged, and denoting the room as his seemed like the best way. At first, they spelled out "Richard", and were painted in red, green, and yellow -- the colors that his parents had worn for their circus act, that didn't have any other meaning yet. Dick pried them off the door and threw them away. He didn't want to accept that this was permanent yet. There were new letters on the door a few days later, blue this time, and spelling out "Dick" instead. Those letters got pried off much the same and shoved in a drawer, and they didn't get put back until a year later. He was too short to put them in the same place, so they ended up crooked, and Alfred found it too endearing to fix.
When he left the manor years later, he considered ripping the letters off the door and throwing them in the foyer on his way out. But he left them, and there they remained, crooked as ever.
Jason got his own letters when it became clear he wasn't going anywhere. He helped Alfred put them up on his bedroom door, standing on a step stool to make sure they got in the right place. His were evenly spaced and neatly aligned, and he refused to tell anyone that he cried over them that night. He'd spent months wondering if he'd ever live up to his predecessor, not just as Robin, but in the family as well. And now he had his own letters, just like Dick's, and they weren't going anywhere.
And they didn't. Even after he died. Bruce and Alfred both considered taking the name down to make walking past that empty room less painful, but in the end, they didn't dare touch the letters, just like they didn't touch anything else in the room. Years later, Jason would sneak into the manor through his old bedroom window and find his school uniforms still hanging in the closet, his textbooks on his desk, an open novel on his nightstand, and, of course, the letters still on the door, more of an epitaph than the one on his actual tombstone.
Tim fought for his name on a bedroom door. It took a while, but he trained, and he learned, and he forced himself into the role that he knew he could fill. Part of him thought that no matter how good and useful he made himself as Robin, he'd never really fill the role that the two before him did. He thought there might not be room for him after Jason's death, but he did it. He was older than the other two when Alfred finally put the letters up on his door, but he did it.
Later, when he left in search of Bruce, he didn't think for a second of taking his name down off his door. He'd earned it.
Damian's name got put up practically as soon as he got to the manor. He didn't think much of having his name on a door. If anything, it irked him a bit, being lumped in with the others, but it would have annoyed him more if he didn't get his own name. For a while, his name on the door, marking it as his from the hallway, was the only reason you could tell it wasn't the guest room that it had previously been. He had no photographs, had arrived with no personal affects.
That changed, eventually. As he gained friends, he also gained photos of them. He put up sketches and watercolor paintings of his animals. A dog bed got put on the floor for Titus. But the letters had been there from the beginning, and he grew to appreciate them eventually. His room, with the name on the door, was safe, and he liked it there.
Cass's letters showed up without much fanfare. They were simply there when she exited her room one day. "Cassandra" in black wooden letters that matched all of her new siblings'. She ran her fingers over them with reverence. She'd never been allowed to leave a mark before. Her life was predicated on being a shadow, but there was her name, in big letters, somewhere where other people could see it.
Steph had a room. She didn't want to admit it, but when she crashed at the manor, it was always in the same room. Her name was put up, and she took it down, and it was put up again, and she took it down again until it became something of a game between her and Alfred. If Steph was staying at the manor and Alfred didn't find a wooden S in a random cupboard, then have to search the house for the rest of her name, then he knew she was in a bad mood, and he usually made her favorite cookies and left them outside of the door with her name still firmly in place.
Duke's letters were waiting for him when he moved in. His name in bright yellow letters that matched his suit already in place. Of course it was, it's tradition at this point, and he's part of the family now. He had bounced around for a while now, and the letters on his door made him feel...calmer. It was a sense of permanence, and one he could learn to enjoy.
Barbara didn't need a room. She had her own room, in her own house, but Alfred still offered to mark out a space for her. She declined. When she did stay over, it was either in the cave or Dick's room, she didn't need her own. Still, that didn't mean her mark wasn't left somewhere. There was a study downstairs with a desk that she sometimes did her homework on as a child if she was staying over for the night. Now, the desk held a computer that was wired into the Batcomputer's network, a photo of her and her father, and, of course, tiny wooden letters affixed to the side that spelled out 'Barbara'.
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confused-squishy · 1 month ago
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Okay
DP X DC crossover idea
Imagine Ghost King Daniel Fenten being the boyfriend of Co-CEO Tim Drake-Wayne. They've been dating in secret because while they love each other so much. Their lives are a complete mess, and Tim hasn't had time to introduce Danny to the disaster that is the Wayne family. Let's say that while Danny's parents hadn't taken the reveal well, Jazz, Sam, Tucker, and even Vlad have become the closest Danny has in family. Until during a Wayne family gala, Sam had dragged Danny to. He meets Tim Drake, and they immediately hit it off. Eventually, they crossed paths as Phantom and Red Robin and shit happens, which leads to them revealing their identities to one another.
But back to the crossover idea. So one night, they both finally have free together. Tim decides to bring Danny to Wayne Manor for a family dinner. Tim calls ahead and informs Alfred about Danny, which makes Alfred call the other bat child for an OFFICIAL bat family dinner. So Tim and Danny pull up to Wayne Manor, and when they go inside, Danny feels a tug at his core. Which Danny of course tells Tim, which, while confused, doesn't surprise Danny. He has the Fenten family luck, after all. But it's when he meets Jason's eye that he realizes why.
Since Danny is the Ghost King, he can see other ghosts cores, and Jason Todd's core is on the brink of shattering. This sends Danny into a panic because this is one of his future in-laws! Why didn't Tim tell him his brother was a halfa like him! So Danny on pure instinct just shoves his hands into Jason's chest and squeezes his core back together. Everyone is screaming at Danny while Jason is just completely frozen. Once Danny heals Jason's core, Danny goes into immediate lecture on how if Danny hadn't fixed his Ghost core, Jason would've died for real. Which sends the entire Bat Family into a world of confused questions and demands. Demanding from Tim, who exactly Danny is.
The looks on their faces when Tim tells them Danny is the Ghost King of the Infinite Relms and his boyfriend is something neither will ever forget. Especially since, apparently, Jason now has control over his pit rage thanks to whatever Danny did, which sends Danny into a whole new lecture that will have even Alfred proud.
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haveihitanerve · 9 months ago
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Bruce sends his kids little notes using carrier bats. It first started when Dick moved out and he wanted to talk to his son but didn't want to call and then have dick hang up on him or decline, didn't want to see his message be left on read, so he bought a little circus bat and taught it to fly to wherever Dick’s scent was (ie he would hang a piece of dicks clothing up at one end of the cave) and built him a nest built of dicks old bedsheets and then tied a little note to its foot, just a little question about how the weather is in Bludhaven and if hes getting enough sleep and alfred misses him, nothing that can be seen as overbearing or forcing himself into his life, and the little bat flies all the way to Bludhaven and hangs on Dicks window and Dick sees it and memories slam into him full force because bats are batman and robin and he cant, not yet. So he doesn't open the window. Ignores him. But the little bat is anything if not as stubborn as the man who trained him so he stays. And after two days Dick relents because the bat hasn't moved an inch and is probably hungry, so he brings him inside and then he sees the note for the first time and opens it and then he breaks and the tears flow because Bruce cares and bruce still wants him. And dick spends time with the little bat and takes it on missions as Nightwing because they’re both nocturnal and then finally, dick attaches a little note to the bats leg and he flies off to bruce. And bruce sees the little bat on his window and opens it, when he spots Dick standing just below, smiling faintly. “Hey b.” 
Bruce gets a bat from the cave ceiling for Babs almost immediately after her accident with Joker because he has responsibilities but he cant leave her alone so he sends her notes everyday and hopes the bat is a good enough companion and when she becomes oracle the bat serves as an exchange of information and contacts and bruce still uses him to check up on her and babs rolls her eyes everytime, but its fond
And so then when Jason comes bruce finds another little bat hanging in crime alley and uses her as a therapy animal after he dies and trains her the way he trained Dick’s but the bat doesn't have anyone to fly to and bruce tries not to cry when he sends it out with notes and it returns because it has no one to deliver to… until one day it doesn't come back. And bruce is afraid and confused and a week later the bat is back, a new note attached to her leg and bruce takes it and breaks down and he gets to talk to his son again. 
Tim already comes with his own bat because Nightwing has one, but the little girl imprints on Bruce right away and Tim pouts but he cant really be angry, not when Bruce sends his bat over to him almost daily while hes in the batcave or his room or the tower with reminders to eat and sleep and coupons for coffee
When Steph arrives Bruce hates himself for firing her but he just cant right now, but he stills gets a bat from the cave and sends it to her and apologizes because he cant bring himself to leave everything unspoken between them and Steph actually adores it and every so often she’ll send him a note and bruce knows hes forgiven
For Damian theres no need for a bat because he lives in the house with Bruce, but then they have Goliath and well… he serves as a messenger when no one else can get damian out of the training area
bruce has never named the bats, thinking that was for them alone to do and he didnt want to get too attached because theres always a chance he pushed too far and his kids wont send a message back, but one day all his kids were hanging out in the living room together and bruce had just come up to join them when he hears dick say "hey wheres b? the movie's about to start?" and jason chucks a piece of popcorn in his mouth and goes "idk, ill send him a note." but tim goes "no i will!" and all together they yell "ROBIN!!!" and all their bats come flying from the cave and fly to their specific masters and Bruce cant fight the tears and when every little bat flies towards him and delivers their note he walks out into the living room and gives them the biggest hug
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plethorawrites · 2 months ago
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Jason Todd x Empath Reader (Because I love this idea)
Jason had barely made it through the door of the apartment before he collapsed onto the couch, his feet hanging off the end of it as he buried his face in a throw pillow with a tired groan.
You looked up from the pot you were stirring in the kitchen, glancing over at him. "Long day?" He just groaned again into the pillow. "Did you want to take a nap before we eat dinner?"
Sometimes, when he was extremely tired, he would take a power nap before you ate, just to avoid falling asleep during the meal. You never minded much, since you knew he had a hard job and it wore him out.
All he did was raise a hand, waving it dismissively. Was that a yes or a no? You weren't quite sure, but probably thought he was refusing the offer, as he often did, since he felt guilty for coming home and falling asleep immediately instead of spending time with you.
Despite his best efforts, he slipped into a state of slumber quite quickly, even though he tried to fight it off, telling himself he would only rest his eyes for a moment before getting up to give you a kiss like he always did.
A few moments later, when dinner was nearly ready, you heard the sound of something getting kicked and peered over towards where he was resting. "Jay?"
No response.
Turning the burner down, you walked over to the couch where he was sleeping, not well, at that. He was thrashing, the way he often did, one of his legs hanging off the couch, occasionally kicking the coffee table when his body jumped.
"Jay," you repeated, a bit firmer, shaking him awake.
He bolted straight up, breathing heavily. His hand gripped the pillow until it was white while he looked around, trying to recognize his surroundings.
His gaze eventually landed on you and his breathing slowed. "Baby?"
You knelt by the couch, taking his hand in yours. "You okay?" You asked gently, as to not elicit any strong emotions from him by accident.
Jason hesitated to answer, not wanting to lie to you but hating to admit the truth as well. "I- I guess," he muttered, his grip on your hand tightening. He scrubbed his face with his spare hand, wiping the sleep from his eyes. "I'm sorry for falling asleep," he apologized, leaning forward to place a small kiss on your lips.
You frowned slightly, resting your forehead against his. "It's fine," you assured him. "Are you hungry?"
Yes.
He was absolutely starving.
And as an added bonus, he wouldn't have to talk about his feelings or dreams for a while.
Jason nodded, loosening his grip on your hand ever so slightly before standing up, draping his hand around your waist and following you into the kitchen.
He knew you liked to know about how he was feeling; you constantly asked and he appreciated that you would take the time to let him try to vocalize feelings he used to ignore or invalidate. But he also knew that if he let you, you would use your powers on him every chance you could to help him sleep or bring him peace of mind, at your own expense.
Jason couldn't let you do that. So, he would rarely, if ever take advantage of your gifts. Instead, he would talk your ear off when he, very rarely, felt emotional enough to talk. And he would show you how he felt as often as possible.
After dinner, he laid down in bed beside you, pulling you close to him, like normal, resting his hand on your back and burying his face in your hair, kissing the top of your head. He never felt safer than when he was holding you and could feel you holding him back, with your arm wrapped around his waist and your head resting on his chest, listening to his heart beat through his shirt.
Unfortunately, his subconscious got scary when he was asleep and the normal comfort he felt disappeared when he began to dream, feeling like you were slipping away from him.
In his dreams, you left him. In his dreams, he died over and over and no one stood at his grave. In his dreams, he lost everything, everyone.
Jason woke up to you shaking him again, practically shouting his name to try to get him to open his eyes. He had broken out in a cold sweat, tossing and turning until all the pillows had fallen off the bed and he'd basically stolen the entire blanket from you.
"I'm sorry," were the first words out of his mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." He was out of breath, panting as he buried his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry. Please don't leave."
You dragged his hands away from his face, taking his chin in between your fingers and forcing him to look at you. "Jay, talk to me," you pleaded quietly, laying your head on his shoulder as he caught his breath. "Just tell me what you saw."
He exhaled, his fingers curling around the sheets. "You left me," he said, staring down at the bed. "I died again and you di- you moved on. You didn't even visit my grave."
Your heart broke.
"You know I'd never do that," you insisted with conviction. "Never."
If he died, you wouldn't move on. You couldn't. You wouldn't just visit his grave, you'd probably live at it. No piece of your heart wanted to even think about loving someone else. Ever.
Jason swallowed harshly. "I know," he whispered, trying to believe you. "I just...my subconscious doesn't."
You squeezed his shoulder, running your hand back and forth, trying to ease some of the tension in his neck. "Please let me make it better," you begged.
"No," Jason replied without hesitation.
He wouldn't let himself rely on your powers. He loved you. Not for your ability to lull him to sleep, but because you were his partner, the person he wanted to see every morning and every night, who brought a smile to his face and made him feel safe just by existing.
"Jason—"
"I said no!" He exclaimed. "I'm not using you. I'm not going to sleep while you stay up to let me."
You paused, seeing him tense even more. He hadn't meant to snap and you both knew it.
"You're not using me," you stated calmly. "And I can sleep anytime. Please just let me help you rest. Just for a few hours."
You were desperate for him to sleep. He looked exhausted, miserable, even. It hurt you almost as much to see him deny himself what could help as it did for him to constantly refuse your offer.
His jaw set and you could see him thinking it though.
"Please," you repeated in a soft whisper.
He finally caved. Nodding he sighed heavily, laying down. "No more than three or four hours."
That's all he really needed to function, anyway.
You nodded, laying down with him, seamlessly falling into his strong arms, wrapping your arms and legs around him like a koala, clinging to him for your own comfort as much as his.
The tension slowly dissipated from his body as he wrapped his arms around you, enveloping your body tightly as he buried his face in your neck, taking a deep breath and trying not to feel guilty.
A few seconds passed and he suddenly felt his anger, his sadness, his pain, all subsided until all he felt was peace and calm. Not to mention love. A lot of love. To a nearly unfathomable point.
Within seconds he was falling asleep in your arms, humming and mumbling incoherently while nuzzling your neck as you stroke his hair, scratching his scalp with your nails.
Three or four he said. You agreed.
You still stayed up all night, only allowing yourself to fall asleep once the sun rose and he got eight full hours of sleep for the first time since the last time he let you use your powers on him.
He'd be annoyed, you knew and he wanted to complain, tell you not to sacrifice your sleep for his but when he woke up, you were already asleep, still clinging to him. So, he let his arms tighten around you again, laying there, letting you sleep, like you let him.
A relationship was give and take, he knew. He felt terrible for taking too much, so he would give you this. For as long as he could. Even if his arms were numb.
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izadi234 · 2 months ago
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Forget me not
-Warning: Contain yandere themes, neglected! gn!reader, mention of low self-esteem, the writer's first language isn't English.
Yan! Batfamily x Gn! Reader
Chapters Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 (You're here) Chapter 6
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Chapter 5
"Hey Dick" Bruce called to his oldest son when he saw him in the kitchen while he was preparing a bowl of cereal
"Yeah Bruce?" Dick answered but his attention was still on his cereal
"Have you heard from (Name)?" the eldest asked
"Uh..." he kept thinking, remembering who you were until something finally clicked in his mind "Oh yeah! No, I haven't heard from them, maybe in their room?" he suggested, not giving it any importance
"Yeah, that would be the most logical answer if they hadn't moved" Bruce sighed
"What?" for the first time Dick turned to look at him surprised
"Yeah... They've been gone for a while now" Bruce explained
"But why?" Dick asked
"Well... I have to admit that I haven't been the best father to them..." he said a little embarrassed
"Oh Bruce..." Dick was about to start scolding him
"I really don't need you to scold me right now" Bruce growled
"Fine..." Dick sighed and stood up "And why are you looking for them?"
"I need to talk to them about everything" he explained "And... and apologize to them for all these years"
Dick didn't like to see any of his family sad or stressed like Bruce.
And yet he never noticed you
So he put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed him a little to try and comfort him.
"I'll help you look for them. Have you checked their room yet?"
"Yeah I already checked it and there's nothing, literally speaking" Bruce sighed
"Well maybe you missed something. You're not the only one in the family who's a detective" he smiled and the older man smiled back
"Thanks, chum" he patted him on the back affectionately
"You're welcome, old man" Then both men separated to look for the missing family member
Dick pulled out his phone and sent a message to the chat group he had with his brothers.
In which you were not included of course
Asking for a quick little meeting, that way, if everyone helped look for you all this would end quickly and they could make it up to you. Even though Dick didn't say it, knowing that you had left and hadn't told anyone and adding the fact that he now felt guilty because he paid you a lot (nothing) of attention.
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"Let me understand Dickhead so..." Jason spoke "You called us, saying that this was urgent just to tell us to help you and Bruce look for (Name)?"
To tell the truth, everyone thought it was silly that Dick called them, you were a teenager, most likely you were doing something outside the mansion, you would return home soon.
"I'm sorry to tell you this Dick but, I think you're exaggerating" said Tim
"For the first time I can agree with Drake" said Damian "I have more important things to do than looking for them"
"I know, I know, but this is urgent not only for Bruce but for me too" said Dick "And why are you looking for them?" asked Stephanie
"Look..." Dick sighed "They... they... they left the mansion and Bruce Is nervous"
"They left? Why?" asked Tim
"Did you call them?" asked Cassandra
"Bruce tried but it seems they changed their number" Dick sighed
"You didn't answer Tim's question" said Jason "Why did they leave?"
"Perhaps because they never felt part of this family, Master Jason" said a voice behind them, it was Alfred who had been listening to the little meeting
"Huh? Why do you say that Pennyworth?" asked Damian
"Oh it is probably because you just decided to ignore them since they came to the mansion" said Alfred as if it was obvious
"Hey! That's not true, I used to spend time with them" Jason defended himself
"And then what happened, Master Jason?" asked Alfred and looked at him a little irritated
"Uhh... I died and then came back from the dead...?" laughed Jason nervously
"Nonsense" said Alfred and then left Jason sighed and stood up.
"How do we help, Dick?"
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Jason felt like a complete jerk. How could he have pushed you aside? You were still a child for God's sake! And yet he didn't care and pushed you aside when he came back from the dead, being more focused on his revenge against Bruce and Tim. He also felt a little proud, proud that he was always the closest to you, even if it has been a while SInce then. He remembers how you looked at him in admiration in his days as Robin, how your eyes lit up when he did a stunt and how you followed him around the mansion like you were a duckling. Alfred had even taken a picture of you following him around. The simple memory made him smile. He should ask Alfred if he still has the photo. He was in your room, inspecting it like it was a crime scene but he had to admit, you were Bruce's child. This room was completely clean and it looked like no one had lived in it for years if it weren't for the fact that the walls were painted (f/c). It was like If you didn't want to be found. That made Jason let out a small chuckle, you would have been a great vigilante, if only they had given you the chance. He shook his head, trying to get those negative thoughts out of his mind and focus on his search instead. He checked every corner of your room and nothing. It seemed like you just vanished.
"Shit!" He slammed his fist on the floor as he crouched down, checking under your bed. "Where the fuck are you?”
"Keep checking their room, Master Jason?" said a voice behind him, it was Alfred who was looking at him with the same neutral face.
"Yeah," Jason sighed and stood up.
After a few seconds of silence, Jason turned to look at Alfred and asked:
"Alfred... Do you happen to have the photo you took of (Name) and me when we were kids? The one where they followed me like a duckling?”
"Yes, I have the photo, Master Jason, but I can show you more. Please follow me," said the butler as he turned around and left the room.
Jason looked at him in surprise, but without saying anything he followed him. They reached the attic of the great mansion. There were millions of boxes in that place in which they had different things that belonged to the inhabitants of Wayne Manor. Alfred began to move some boxes until he took out a specific one that had your name on it.
"What is this?" Jason asked.
"This is a box, Master Jason" Alfred said as he handed him the box.
"And it contains some things that used to belong to (Name)”
Jason looked at the box in amazement, it didn't weigh much but it didn't weigh little either but it seemed well preserved despite the time.
"Thank you Alfred" he said and then came down from the attic with the box in his arms.
Jason walked into the living room so he could see the contents of the box without any problem. He didn't know where to start but decided to grab a long but thin book. When he saw the cover his eyes widened in surprise, because that book was a photo album.
On the first pages of the album there were ultrasound images that started from the third month. There was even a 3D ultrasound in which you could see the baby's face. Jason smiled at the image and ran his fingers over the photo. He remembered your smile, it was tender and warm and always relaxed him after a hard mission or a fight with Bruce.
On the next page there was information about your birth, your weight and height and other information. There was also a compartment in which there was a small sock that would only fit a newborn baby. The young man smiled more when he saw that small garment that used to be yours, he put it back in the small compartment of the book and continued exploring. From that page, there were photos, the first ones were of your mother and another man, your mother was sitting on the hospital bed with the man next to her while he held you. Both adults looked completely happy while you slept. In another picture you were in the arms of your mother who looked tired but no less happy, the background of the picture seemed to be a baby's room. And in a third one you were in the arms of that man again, he was lifting you up in the air while you laughed, the man laughing in the same way. Jason could imagine the sound of your laughter at that age and it just made his heart beat a little faster.
He kept looking at more pictures of you, your first steps, playing with some pet you had back then, eating (although it was actually a mess but he found it cute) and then there was the picture of your first birthday, you were still so small, but you could see the excitement on your face when you saw the candle on your birthday cake, next to you your mother and that man again. He should have Tim investigate who that man was.
Jason kept looking at pictures of your first years of life, your first Christmas, your first Halloween, your first day at daycare, your first friends. Throughout the album you could see how you were growing up full of happiness, well that was until you got to the photo of your fourth birthday. From that photo on, your mother and that man didn't appear anymore, but instead there were photos of your arrival at Wayne Manor.
At first there were only photos of the great mansion and its hallways, the beautiful handwriting that was written in the previous titles was replaced by that of a small child. Throughout the following pages there were only photos of the property and the animals and there was only one photo where you appeared but now with Alfred, both smiling. You got to the photo of your fifth birthday, thinking that it was Bruce or Dick in that photo but it seems that wasn't the case. You were five, six, seven, eight years old and in your birthday photos there were only you and Alfred, that didn't seem to change despite time. On the next page, Jason was surprised to find pictures of him and you, it was when he had just become Robin and spent a lot of time with you, from photos where Jason was training, cooking with Alfred, reading, and even him teaching you how to fight. Even though those photos were extremely beautiful in his eyes, his favorite had to be the photo in which he appeared with Alfred and (Name) at his 9th birthday party. He smiled at the photograph and took it in his hands, being honest, he didn't remember that until he saw the photo again and your smile made Jason's heart flutter again. With more energy he began to look at the album and each time he appeared less in the photos until he reached your 10th birthday, but he was no longer there, again it was just Alfred and you.
"What...? No no no no no..." Jason muttered agitatedly as he looked through the album
He wasn't in any pictures anymore, nor was his family, it was just you and Alfred again and on more occasions it seemed like more people he didn't know, probably your friends.
"Fuck!" he yelled in frustration and put his face in his hands
Did he really just push you aside so foolishly? No... He had to fix it.
After all HE was your favorite brother
And HE was going to make it up to you
He was going to make it up to you for all those years he left you alone
And he was going to find you, after all, he was trained by the world's greatest detective.
How hard can It be finding you?
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Hello! First of all... HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all have a wonderful 2025! And of course I wanted to thanks to all of those people that have supported this story even If it has been just a couple of months.
Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Personally I think it was kinda short but to be honest I didn't had a bunch time to write but oh well.
If you have questions about the story, a comment (respectfully) or even ideas I would be more than happy to know or answer them in any case.
I send all of you a big hug!
-Izadi <3
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gaywineauntsstuff · 4 months ago
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Every single member of the Batfamily lies about their taste in music
Damian will claim that he only listens to classical music and that everything else is beneath him.
Damian will unironically listen to trashy Arab pop and the absolute worst Bollywood songs known to man (Dick introduced him to them and he hates the fact that sometimes he gets Sheila Ki Jawani stuck in his head during missions)
Tim will put on the most ear grating hyper pop you've ever heard and claim with full chest that these is the peak of humanities capabilities with music (Damian, Jason and Steph have all tried to kill him for this take) He will also play stuff like the living tombstones and sing it obnoxiously loud when he's working on the computer.
Tim however loves his 90s grunge and it's all that's playing in his headphones. (think nirvana, pearl Jam, Melvins, Alice in Chains etc) He has tracked down so many shirts and concert posters and watched every bit of content from the older shows.
Jason will claim he only listens to east coast rap, biggie, Nas, Jay etc and maybe some older metal. He will fight you on east vs west coast music, there will be weaponry involved.
Jason likes rap music... he unfortunately prefers west coast rap and has listened to no vaseline like 500 times. He will deny this till the day he dies...again. (Dick knows and threatens to tell Steph)
Steph will steal the aux and play Taylor Swifts greatest hits until one of the Boys threatens mutiny. Every single one of the bats has had style stuck in their heads during a stakeout at least twice. She will claim that the only rap song she can tolerate in Eminem and the 7/11 is Beyoncés best song.
Steph is an underground fan, think the dude selling mixtapes on the subway type shit. She also unlike Jason genuinely loves East Coast Rap music more than anything and knows every single wu-tang clan song by heart, same with Biggie. Not only does she love the music she also spends any free time binging those "history of rap and its consequences" videos and has been a firm believer that P.Diddy had a hand in a lot of the Death row records well...deaths.
Cass, well everyone thinks Cass has really good taste bc its Cass and she has zero flaws (don't @ me) she never takes the aux and will usually listen to her music while she's chilling or doing stretches. None of them have heard or seen a single one of her playlists except Duke.
its all 2010s top 40s pop music and like the trashy kind too, Beauty and the Beat, Kesha, Katy Perry. It's her turning of her brain time and she will be straight vibing to Rude! by magic or Boom Clap or Shower. she has shown this to Duke, smirked and told him that even if he tried to tell anyone they wouldn't believe him.
Duke is the only one who doesn't... lie. He just hides a few things. Lies of omission don't count as lies when the bats will lie to you about what they had for breakfast, while they are visibly eating breakfast. Duke says he listens to everything and he does. Literally everything. His patrol Jam is offensive bc it with start with Norwegian death metal and immediately switches to "like a G6" followed by kendrick Lamar and then descendants Disney channel movie music.
Bruce... Bruce is just weird, everyone asks him and gets a different answer. Bc he doesn't... like music. Like at all. It's all noise, his mother played instruments so he learned like 14 and he hates how they all sound. He just like vague batwings fluttering in dead silence.
Dick Grayson will obnoxiously play top 40 and radio music religiously around the bats. He claims it's the best music for rhythmic acrobatics and trapeze work and that true! Jason hates this kind of music the most, it's formulaic and holds no substance and drives him insane.
But Dick only listens to that music when he's moving, flipping doing high energy stuff. When he just wants to chill? This man has the most depressing music taste you've ever seen. You know that sad song from ur favorite artist that you can't listen to without crying. Yeah that's his bread and butter. Every single song is just flat out tear inducing, some of these bands have like 100 listeners and he is one of them and it's just their saddest song that reads like suicide note. The titans have conducted an intervention bc its just... concerning. He just thinks it's neat!
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nosyrobin · 4 months ago
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Batboys when their unaffectionate best friend texts them “I love you” out of no where.
Tw: suicide mentions but not done. Reader is gender neutral.
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Dick
As soon as he got that text, he either felt happy you started to be affectionate or he felt worried as you never really texted him that. He goes to text you “are you okay?”
And if you don’t answer he’s leaving work and going to your house. His anxiety is eating his stomach alive when he reached your house, he opens them with the spare keys you gave him.
You were just watching tv when you turned at him confused. “Dick?” Immediately dick hugs you, tightly. Now you’re concerned . “Dick?” You said again, worried. “I was worried…thought something happened to you.” He stays at your home until he gets called back to work.
Jason
Just try and do the same shit to him like dick. Don’t answer him? This man’s pulling up to your house immediately when you said “I love you.” Scared that maybe someone who knows him and wants to hurt Jason is after you.
He knows you, more than you know yourself. Literally he’s already at your window banging on it, cursing himself when you don’t open it he goes and bust the window open wide. He can pay for it, don’t worry.
As he stalks around the house holding his gun, he sees you standing in the kitchen holding a knife. This big ass fridge of a man just grabs the knife out of your hand. You scream shocked before seeing it was just Jason.
“What..were you doing?…” he asked firmly. You scoff and grabbed the knife, well tried to as you explained yourself. “I was gonna cut onions before you came in Jay..” you said pointing to the onions Jason had clearly hadn’t seen due to adrenaline.
“Oh. Well love ya too, ima go now. I’ll see you in the morning.” Jason says leaving, that was before he turned around. “Oh yeah and Uhm…your window is broken.” Jason leaves quickly as you gasp and go check your bedroom window. “JASONNNN!!” You yelled in anger.
Tim
It’s late at night, he on his computer doing a report when all he sees on his phone is an “I love you” text from the most unexpected friend ever, you. Immediately Tim is getting up, calling you as he gets dressed to go to your house.
He’s scared, “pick up, pick up, pick up.” You don’t answer. “Fuck!” Tim hangs up and calls again. He knows you had some thoughts of suicidal tendencies, but he’s been by you in your darkest days. So when you just text him that, he doesn’t realize he’s crying when he finally reaches your house.
He’s using a spare key he secretly copied off of your own home key, don’t ask. It’s for procedures like this if you are in danger.
Anyways he immediately screaming your name, if you don’t answer immediately as he screams your name. He’s gonna run up to your room.
But if you immediately yell back his name, he’s running towards your voice. You were in your room relaxing when you see a tired and scared Tim rush at you into a hug. Crying softly as he holds you tight.
“You’re okay right? Why didn’t you answer my calls?!” He says immediately. “My phone died when I texted you…” Tim immediately stopped crying just to give you a “wtf” face. “….are you serious.” Tim had forgotten that you had a terrible habit of having your phone dead at times.
“Yeah.” “..just for this night scare. I’m sleeping here.” Tim says, his body soon gave out easily. Making his heavy body fall on your smaller frame. “Tim! Tim! Get up dude..I’m sorry!? Damnnit!!!”
Damian
The moment that text got sent, it takes him 6 minutes to get to your house. Quietly like the damn ex assassin he is.
His expression and face are hardened holding a katana, bro’s lip in sunken in as he looks around your house. “I don’t know what games you are playing. But it’s not funny L/N.” He says as he then sits on your bed. Katana flat on his lap staring at you intensely. “What, I can’t say I love you to my best friend.” Damian’s glare hardened. “You can, I was just surprised when you texted me those 'words'. Seemed unlikely of you to say that so I had to come to make sure you were secured.”
You deadpanned at the tanned boy in-front of you. “Okay fine, I just wanted to say it incase you felt like you didn’—” “I know you love me, and I …love you too. Now that I know you are okay, I must go.” He says quickly. Looking away to hide his slight flustered face, he lifts up your window sill and jumps out the window. You walk over to see the boy is immediately gone.
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jasontoddsno1simp · 9 months ago
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Thank you.
I see a lot of posts saying Jason being told this (as well as the way Bruce grieved him) would change things, and I mean...
Sure, maybe it would, but it damn sure wouldn't be for the better.
Because, at the end of the day, his murderer is still alive and he still has no justice.
Nevermind the fact that he's treated by the narrative that wanting that, wanting someone to care enough to give it to him makes him a selfish and ugly person. But we don't got time for that;!
The thing surrounding Dick killing the Joker for Tim and Bruce reviving him is that if Jason ever learned about that, his two conclusions would be:
A) Tim is worth killing for, and he (Jason) isn't;
B) Dick's clean hands are worth more than Jason's mangled corpse and his memory and his legacy.
#I think there's a fundamental misunderstanding in the fandom about what Jason's problem with Bruce is#And what he actually wants#And I think a lot of it has to do with the ephemeral nature of comics#The fact that these characters are eternal therefore their characterization can and has changed on a dime#But more importantly I think it has to do with a lot of the fandom focusing a wee bit too much on Jason's words#And not the emotions fueling those words#Or even#Where those emotions came from#It's my belief that when Jason says that Bruce replaced him as Robin he meant that Bruce replaced him as his son#Because to Jason being Robin is the only way to be Bruce's son#And this isn't an out of the water assumption to make#In his post Crisis origin story Bruce has a few encounters with Jason before taking him in#As funny as it would've been for the Big Bad Bat to have seen this scrappy little hellion taking his tires and going#This is mine now#Bruce doesn't entertain taking Jason in until he sees Jason's potential to make a good Robin#So seeing Tim in the costume - as well as his killer still alive - just makes Jason feel unwanted#Like it was all a lie#I died and it should've changed everything#But it didn't change shit#Jason wanting Bruce to kill the Joker was Jason begging Bruce to prove - to him but also himself - that Jason was actually his son#Because parents avenge their children's deaths#Parents that love their children want justice#So why doesn't Bruce want that for him?!#He can fight for all these mother fuckers who have no real connection to him but what about me?!#I was your son!!#So Joker still being alive#On top of their being another Robin#And Gotham still being a shit hole of a city#AND the way Bruce in his grief and desperation to keep going as Batman tarnished Jason's memory#Well what the fuck would that say to you?!
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heavysighing-dreamyeyes · 5 months ago
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Outlier
You're the exception to everything Jason Todd knows about himself. He'll deal with that later. ~1.2k words
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Jason Todd doesn't smile a lot. But with you it comes easy. It wasn't anything big that drew his awareness to the fact. You were just folding laundry with him while your favorite show played in the background.
It wasn't grand. It wasn't life changing. But he's grinning with all of his teeth, and he can't seem to wipe the expression off his face.
It's stupid, really, because all you did was offer to fold the sheets so he didn't have to. And now he's giddy. He'd be embarrassed, but he's too distracted by the melody you're humming softly.
He decides to be embarrassed about it later.
Jason doesn't talk a lot about himself. He talks to people, sure, talks a lot about cases and crime, and Gotham and the mission. But the deep and dirty personal stuff? He shies away from it.
Well, that's not completely true. Not with you.
He's talking about himself now, your head on his shoulder as you stare out at the city from the rooftop. He's not patrolling tonight, and you insisted on a picnic dinner to enjoy what's left of summer.
It's peaceful, and he hooks an arm around your back when you tug his hoodie tighter around yourself, staving off the slight chill in the air. He rambles a little more, he can't help it, he always wants to talk with you, listen to you.
He'd be insecure if you weren't so obviously engaged, prompting him to keep talking and sharing your own thoughts.
He decides to second guess himself later, and enjoy the shining lights of Gotham for now.
Jason doesn't hug a lot, but you're his exception. A hug hello, a hug goodbye, a thank you hug, a 'I'm glad you're okay' hug.
He cherishes them, wraps you up against him, and doesn't let go until he starts to worry he's making you uncomfortable. He'd probably never let go if he wasn't so scared of seeming desperate to hold you.
It's not– he doesn't mean anything by it, really. There's not anything more to it.
You're just warm, soft, and you smell like you. And Jason doesn't know anything more calming and soothing than you. So, if he craves the hugs you so freely give, isn't that okay? Wouldn't anyone feel the same?
He decides to wallow in his worries later, and focuses on the way you let him bury his face against your shoulder.
Jason knows a lot of things. Things about the world, life, people, space. Things anyone else would never even be the slightest bit curious about. But, sometimes, he just doesn't know what to do with you.
It's infuriating, the way you seem to care more about others' safety than your own.
There was no reason for you to go back into fire to try and help people out. There was no reason to put yourself in danger when he was right there to take care of it.
He has no idea what was going through your head when he hauled you out of the burning building. He would have dragged you by the back of your neck if it meant you just listened to him. If, for just a second, you considered that you could have died.
The thought makes him sick. The churning of his stomach isn't enough to distract from the angry look on your face. He wonders if he was too rough with you. He can't bring himself to regret it if he was when you start coughing from the smoke.
He knows he's too rough, this time, when he pushes you towards the paramedics and heads back to the fire.
He can break down later, throw his lunch up into the toilet later, because he's always too rough. But right now? He has a job to do.
Jason fights a lot. Breaks the bones of criminals, beats bruises onto thugs, shoots bullet holes into goons. But, he doesn't really fight with you. Tonight's different.
He doesn't think you should be so angry at him. He pulled you out of a raging inferno, after all. If anything, you should be giving him one of your hugs.
You're not doing that, though. Your face is scrunched up, and you're livid, and he can practically feel the tension between you two like a physical wall. He wishes he knew the right words to say that will make you see his side.
You accuse him of thinking you can't take care of yourself. (He's fully aware you can) You tell him he was reckless to go back into the fire. (You did it first!)
You snap that he was more preoccupied with pulling you out when there were other people in danger. (Duh. You're his priority. You could have had both feet out the door, and he still would have carried you out before anyone else)
You look completely fed up by the time you're done with your rant, and he's pretty sure he's only making the situation worse because he hasn't given you an answer.
It's not that he doesn't want to, it's just he doesn't have anything to say.
He wouldn't change what he did. He's sorry he upset you. But he's never been good with words or apologies, not even with you.
So he doesn't say a thing, just stares at you with clenched fists while he waits for the inevitable order for him to leave.
And he really is prepared to leave. He's surprised it hasn't happened sooner. He'll hate it. He'll probably even do something stupid over it. But he wouldn't force the weight that is his company on you.
He'll accept that this is what changes what he is to you. At least, he'll try. Later. Right now, he's focused on not crying as the silence drones on.
Your voice calling his name cuts through his thoughts, and his gaze snaps back up to yours. He hadn't even realized he'd dropped it. You step forward, and he braces himself for what's to come. The end of this. You and him.
But the end doesn't come. You cup his face– cradle his face and ask him why he looks so miserable.
Jason's good at running. Good at burying his emotions. He has to be. But you don't look angry anymore. You look concerned. You looked more worried than you did when he was last bleeding out onto your couch. So he spills his guts.
He stumbles out how he's too rough and too wrong and he knew you'd want him gone eventually but he's not ready to go and could you please just forgive him this once for not being what you needed him to be?
He waits for you to push him away. You don't. His shoulder slump when you wrap your arms around his waist and hug him so tightly that he has no choice but to believe that you want him to stay.
He doesn't hesitate to latch onto you and mumble nonsense into your hair. Promises that he'll be better. Different. Whatever you need.
You tuck yourself closer to his chest and tell him you don't need him to be anyone else but him. The rest of your reassurances are muffled into the fabric of his clothes when he clutches you tighter.
Jason isn't very good at admitting his feelings. But he wants to. With you.
He'll figure it out later. But for right now, he lets himself sink deeper into your hug, and all the serenity you bring.
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