#weird joke

[yoursghouly]

Source: GothMemes

[kingsleychizzard]

I already posted this on twitter, but I feel like tumblr could use some weird comedy. I also seem to be the only one in the fandom to make a joke like this.

[jellogram]

On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[tiny-pteranodon]

TALLK ABOUT JAW DROPPING

GIRL you are GLOWING! GIRL you are RADIOACTIVE! GIRL it's FATAL!

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

[allthatispeculiar]

[adriles]

they are Cancelling me for dealing with my grief as best i can . also for the vicious war Crimes

[disease]

DISPLAYFAKEFOODS.COM

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[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[chloesimaginationthings]

How William Afton got his wife in FNAF

[yoursghouly]

live footage of me trying to impress a crush and coming off as weird and deranged instead

[franeridart]

more dragon

[reineydraws]

three is a pattern, shanks!

[visenyaism]

no you're being terfy for trying to shame women who DO want to be feminine and cutesy, we're still women even if we're not your perception of women

Explain to me how it is transphobic to say that you should not joke about how you are bad at math because you are a girl because that is misogynistic. Actually, explain to me why it’s cutesy to say that girls are bad at math. How is it feminine to say that girls are bad at math. How is that particular message factoring into your gender presentation. What is feminine or cutesy about thinking women are worse at any implied skill than men like either the skill level or the gender are immutable absolutes. What is going on

[gummirock]

meme + lines under cut