#we really really want to get those hold times down for you

[revelboo]

after the holidays, my friend and I are going back downtown, buying a couple Blokees each, and having a lil get together where we assemble them

you did this. you made me go broke.

<3

But they’re just little guys 😆 18+ 🌶️

Gravity Pt 11

Optimus x Reader

• Rolling onto his side, he hooks an arm around you and pulls you back into him. Palm flattening against you, finding the beat of your heart as he relaxes again. At the back of his processor, there’s concern over what he’d done that he’s going to have to deal with. Worry about what the rest of the Autobots will think about this. About what he’s done with you. There’s no regret, but there’s going to be consequences. If nothing else, dealing with the fallout from the others figuring out this is a possibility. “Should have guessed you were a cuddler,” you say, voice sleepy. If you don’t want to be held, you keep it to yourself at least.

• Blissfully boneless, you idly play with the servos of the hand splayed possessively on you. “We should discuss what happened,” he says, that deep voice so serious. And he’s a worrier, too, apparently. Ready to ruin the afterglow by overthinking it. Wiggling your hips back against him where his big frame is curled around you, he makes a deep rumbling noise in response. Especially when you pull his hand down and urge him to cup you. Feel him vent raggedly against you to stir your hair as his servos get on board with your plan and stroke you.

• “What happened was amazing,” you say, voice husky as you hold his hand where you want it and move against him, undulating against his hand and his spike as it stirs. “Doesn’t need to be anything deeper than sex.” Knows you’re right, but those words still hurt. Clearly drawing a line that he desperately wants to cross. Warning him that you don’t want more from him. Just this. And he could play along, let you warm his berth and let it be as simple as that, but it’s not what he wants. Wants you to talk to him, open up and share with him. Wants to know your secrets and you. Wants so much more than just a warm, willing body under his.

• “It could be, though. More.” That deep voice rumbles through you as he spears a servo inside you, stroking deep. Hips moving against you, his spike rubbing against you to tease you both. “It could mean something.” And it’s sweet, the big guy a hopeless, but utterly unrealistic, romantic. Where does he really think this can go? White picket fences and kids? Even if he was human, you’d accepted a long time ago that those dreams aren’t meant for people like you. That they can only hurt you. So no. Your body he can have, your heart isn’t up for grabs.

• Gripping his wrist as he strokes you with a servo, you toss your head back against him. Can hear your breathing change, those soft little hitching moans. “I don’t need anything but this.” Those words cut him, all jagged edges biting into his spark. Denying him. Pressing his face against the back of your neck as you rock yourself against his servos, he lets that ache hollow him out. Because if this is all of you allowed him, he’ll take it even if it kills him. You don’t have to love him, don’t even have to care for him beyond your need to find pleasure in his arms. He’ll still hold you, try to coax you and maybe eventually it might be more. Has to believe that or he can’t stand it. To believe you might grow to care about him even if it’s not for a long time.

Previous

[theartofwoompwoomp]

I never knew we could coexist together 

Shadow x reader

Summary : shadow is surprised to learns that humans understand grief. And he learns it from the human that’s the most tolerable and happiest in his life. 

———————————————————————

“Do you really think you could ever understand.” 

His voice ragged and tight from the anger. There’s no way anyone could understand what he lost. Especially not you…

You have everything. A happy family, friends, a place in this world. 

 he had nothing…

Sure others may have accepted him, yet it has never been the same and it hasn’t ever taken the pain.

Someone as happy as you wouldn’t and shouldn’t ever understand his pain. 

His grip getting tighter in his hand, he can feel himself shaking a bit as he lowers his eyes to the ground.

He feels bad for snapping at you. He wasn’t expecting to have all his pent up anger explode on you. Finally the shame starts crawling it’s way and he was getting ready to leave. He didn’t want to see your face.

Not right now, when he feels so angry with you even though you’re the only one thats stuck around. 

All his emotions are spinning all over his head just waiting for another opportunity to explode, and he does not want you to be at the end of it.

Without saying anything else, he keeps his head down as he turns to leave. 

But just as he’s a few steps away his are is pulled back quite forcefully towards you again.

“What do you think you’re doing—“

You hugged him.

Holding tight making sure you won’t let go of him. He tenses a bit not fully processing what you’re doing. 

Why are still trying? Why do you still care even if he hurt you? He doesn’t deserve you.

Before he realizes it, he’s holding you close as well. 

Nothing is said between either of you, he’s simply shaking a bit in your arms as you rub his back a bit.

Memories come back to him. Those of maria, his actions, and of you.

Small tears roll down his cheeks but he could care less at the moment. “It hurts.” His voice broken and tired from all the pain that never goes away.

You hugged him a bit tighter as you whisper a bit into his ears, “I know shads, i know.” Not daring to let go or abandon him in this moment, you wait it out. Feeling your own tears slowly dropping as well as his cries intensify.

He feels like he just got ran over, but at least you’re still there, holding him. Both of you more calmed down from the whole ordeal. 

He finally decides to let go from your embrace and you let him. 

He sits on the ground and you follow along and sit next to him. Just waiting to see who’ll be the first to speak.

Surprisingly after a few minutes shadow softly starts speaking, “i don’t want to talk about it.” His brows furrow a bit, “i appreciate your kindness, but I don’t like speaking about my pain.” 

He feels you caress his hand. “That’s okay,” holding it firmly when turns it offering you to continue your action of affection, “i understand that pain can be hard to share.”

He turns to see you, eyes glazing over you face wondering what ever could have caused you pain to make that expression.

“You might be surprised but humans suffer from many things. Some of us are just a little better at pretending nothing’s wrong.” 

“Doesn’t it hurt to do that?”

You look over, seeing his worry through his eyes. “Of course it does. Suffering is always painful.” Your eyes and hands never leaving one another. Sharing more emotions this way than any words could describe.

You lean a bit onto him, “but you know,” he reciprocates as you continue, “i think that’s a reason why there’s so many of us in the first place. Maybe so we could  help each other through the pain… it’s too bad many seem forget the value of this”

He shifts a bit as he feels you move again. This time you’re kneeling a bit in front of him. 

“That’s why I’m so glad that I at least have you in my life.”

His heart twinges a bit, feeling guilty for trying to ever push you away. And you notice it before he even says anything.

“Please don’t shut me out,” you’re hugging him again.

And he hugs you back, holding you softly as he feels your breath on his shoulder. Your actions and words melting all the doubt and numbing the pain. He’s comforted knowing that you’re not going nowhere, staying right there with him.

“Im glad that it’s you, and not anyone else at my side.” 

———————————————————————

masterlist

[arabella0001]

i feel so anxious about posting this, but these are my guilty pleasure thoughts 😫

yours to break (choso kamo x reader)

synopsis: choso needs a reminder of his place—and you make sure he feels it

warnings: insecurity, bad self-esteem, uexperienced, sub/dom play( sub choso!!), blowjob, oral (female receiving), teasing, praise, overstimulation, rough fuck, light degrading

choso has always been quiet, but you get it. you actually like this about him. you know he’s struggling with words and trying to fit in, but you always admire this about him—about your pretty boy—how he’s trying, how he wants to understand humans, how he cares for his brothers, and how he’s more aware of his surroundings than most people are.

you’ve started learning his subtle changes in behavior, when he’s struggling with words, emotions, and all of that. and today was one of those days.

you can’t put a finger on it, but oh, choso has his mind wrapped around it.

he wasn’t used to being around so many people, let alone watching you around them—how you laughed with his brother yuji or playfully nudged megumi’s shoulder, joking about his stoic behavior. of course, you never let him out of an interaction; you were so good to him. but he feels like he’s wasting your time, like he’s not good enough for you. his dark eyes tracked every small interaction, feeling complicated emotions that he usually shared with you.

of course, he didn’t need to tell you he was upset—you already knew. but you wouldn’t speak to him about it in public. you waited until both of you were back at your apartment. you tried to talk to him, and he tried—he really tried—but he couldn’t help drowning in his insecurities.

you shut the door and crossed the room, looking at him gently. after he undressed from his jacket, he felt your gaze on him, and when he looked at you, he panicked internally.

“choso?” you asked him in a soft voice.

“y-yes?” he slapped himself mentally for stuttering; he didn’t want to be a bother to you again.

“what’s wrong, my pretty boy?” you murmured, tilting your head to catch his gaze. his eyes flicked to yours, full of love and adoration, but fear too.

"i’m sorry," he said, voice low and rough. "it’s nothing, let’s—" his voice cracked slightly, and he exhaled sharply, like he was scolding himself.

“cho, please tell me. i know you don’t feel well. remember, we navigate your feelings together so you can understand them better?”

“yes, but—” he stopped himself, but unconsciously, he trusted you too much to hide this from you. “i know i shouldn’t feel like this…” his fingers dug into his thighs, frustration clear. "i’m just—" he exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "i feel like i’m not… enough for you."

your eyes widened a little at his answer.

“choso, that’s not true," you said firmly, taking his hand in yours. "what makes you say that, baby?"

he stilled immediately when you hold his hands firmly. there it was—that quiet surrender you knew so well, the way his defenses crumbled when you took contro

“you’re… different with them," he said quietly, voice tight. "you’re so comfortable, so... happy." doubt swam in his eyes. "but i’m not like them," he muttered. "i don’t know how to be that for you. i don’t even know if i can."

the vulnerability in his tone hit you like a punch to the gut.

you walked over, gently prying his hands open and threading your fingers through his. he finally looked up, and you saw it in his face—his insecurity, his self-doubt.

his eyes fluttered shut for a moment, his lips parting as he leaned into your touch like he couldn’t help himself—he wanted to let go, to let you guide him. he needed you to take control, to remind him of his place with you, to quiet the doubts swirling in his mind.

“cho, look at me,” you said, grabbing his chin gently so you could lock eyes with him. “they’re my friends, but you? you’re… you’re everything."

his breath hitched, his eyes flicking down as heat crept up his cheeks. you noticed the way his body relaxed slightly under your touch.

you cupped his face, your thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. "you don’t have to be like them. i like you exactly how you are. i don’t want them. i want you."

he shook his head, his lips parting to protest, but you silenced him with a kiss. his breath hitched, his hands hovering over your hips as though he wasn’t sure if he had the right to touch you.

"let me prove it to you," you murmured, your lips brushing his.

his eyes fluttered shut for a moment, his lips parting as he leaned into your touch like he couldn’t help himself. the way his body softened beneath your hands, the slight tremble in his shoulders, told you everything—he wanted to let go, to let you guide him. he needed you to take control, to remind him of his place with you, to quiet the doubts swirling in his mind.

“should i show you, cho?”you take his hand and turning to your room, he bites his lower lip, uncertainty flickering across his features before he nods eagerly.

"y-yes, Y/N” choso’s breath hitches as you lead him into the bedroom, his pulse quickening at your sultry voice, his other hand shaking slightly anxiously.

he swallows hard, his mouth going dry as you close the door behind them, the sound echoing through the quiet room. choso’s gaze return to you, his pupils dilating with a mix of nervous excitement and longing, his mind quickly adapt to the new atmosphere, an atmosphere he knows it very much.

"you will be a good boy and you will listen?" you tease him, whispering in his ear, putting him on the bed with his feet hanging off and you between his legs.

your fingertips flicker gently over his face and collarbone, each touch deliberate and teasing.

a shiver runs down choso's spine as your warm breath tickles his ear, sending waves of tingling heat across his sensitive skin. his eyelids flutter shut at the teasing motion of your fingertips, making him squirm slightly beneath your touch, his breath catching in his throat.

"yes, y/n, i'll be a good boy," choso promises breathlessly, his voice thick with anticipation.

his gaze, dark and heavy with need, locks on you, drinking in every detail—the playful curve of your lips, the way your eyes glint with mischief, the soft fall of your hair framing your face.

as you settle firmly between his spread thighs, choso’s chest rises and falls rapidly, his heart pounding so hard it feels like it might break free. vulnerability flashes across his expression for a moment before it melts into sheer desire, completely overwhelmed by your dominant affection.

"p-please, y/n…" he stammers, voice barely above a whisper, his hands gripping the sheets beneath him as he surrenders completely.

"mmm aleeady begging” you chuckle softly, letting your fingers trail over his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake “you’re so beautiful, choso…did you know that?” you murmur appreciatively, your hand coming closer to his aching dick, you want to worship every inch of him until his begging for more.

choso’s back arches off slighty the bed, he whimpers softly, his hips twitching involuntarily

"you are beautiful too..." his voice strained with need, he wanna reaches out, desperate to touch you, but he know better you don’t wanna do it like that.

he bites his lip, trying to stifle a moan as he fights the urge to thrust into your touch

"please..." choso pleads, his submissive eyes glazed with lust and surrender.

“you are so sweet, baby.i love how you try ro behave. i really do “you kneel between his legss, looking at him teasingly and undress his pants slowly.

choso’s breath hitches as you unfasten his pants, the zipper sliding down with agonizing slowness.his heart pounds in his chest, adrenaline surging through his veins.

he watches a intently, drinking in the sight of your mesmerizing eyes, choso’s cock twitches in its confines, straining against the fabric as his body responds to the building tension

"c-can you touch me…more? " his voice ragged with desire as he almost tries to lift his hips

you give a wicked smile, removing his pants and underwear, exposing his dick and you start stroking it slowly, from base to tip, watching his reactions closely

“more? but you are so cute when you are completly at my mercy”

choso’s head falls back against the mattress as you wrapp your small hands around his throbbing cock, the first stroke sending a jolt of pure ecstasy through his body

“ahhhh” he cries out, his voice cracking with pleasure, lids fluttering closed as he surrenders himself fully to your touches. “don’t stop, please...“ his voice hoarse with desire.

“shh. don’t command me baby or i might stop” you continue your ministration, teasing the head of his cock “and you don’t want that, do you?”

his hips buck instinctively, seeking more of that maddening touch and your threatening voice.

"no, no, i’m sorry…please... “he whimpers, his voice barely audible over the pounding of his heart. his eyes snap open, locking onto yours with an intense, pleading gaze

his hands clench into fists at his sides, nails digging into his palms as he struggles to maintain control, but the ache in his cock threatens to consume him wholly.

you smirk at him, your pussy dripping already just by his pleading eyes, continuing to stroke his cock slowly, occasionally giving it a gentle squeeze, your other hand moves to fondle his balls, rolling them in you palm.

“mmmm, you're so responsive, cho. such a perfect little boy, you’re making me so wet already

you lean and start lickiny his dick slowly up and down, preparing him for what has to come.

his entire body quakes as your tongue makes contact with his sensitive flesh, he throws his head back, a hoarse cry tearing from his throat as pleasure crashes over him

"Y/N!”, his hips throbbing erratically as you lavishe attention on his aching cock, his vision already blur at the edges as he teeters on the brink of climax but he know he needs ro resist the urge. you retreat for a second, gasping for air.

“remember cho, you don’t get to cum untill i say so, yeah?” he moan so hard when your lips envelop his cock once more, the suction drawing him deeper into the wet heat of her throat.*

“yes yes Y/N, i remember! please don’t stop!" his voice raw and desperatec his body trembles uncontrollably, every nerve ending alight with pleasure as he fights the impending orgasm, his fingers dig into the sheets, the only thing keeping him grounded.

his vision goes white as you take him deeper, your throat constricting around his throbbing cock, gagging and slurping. tears stream down his cheeks, mingling with the sweat dripping from his brow as he's pushed to his limit.

"please, baby... i can’t... is too much!" he sobs, his voice breaking on a ragged whimper. his muscles spasm, his toes curling as he strains against the iron grip of his climax.

at that, you let him go with a pop, returning to stroke him slowly “oh baby but i think you can a little more, right?”

“but I admit, you were such a good boy, cho” you tease the head of his cock again and he twich instantly“should i reward you? should i let you fuck my throat, baby? to cum in my mouth? or maybe on my tits?”

choso’ s resolve crumbles, his willpower shattered, his eyes widen, pupils dilated with lust

“yes!!! please Y/N, let me… i need so badly i can’t —“he begs, his voice thick with desperation. choso’s hips surge forward, closer to your beautiful lips, his imagination running wild with the depraved scenarios playing out in his mind, about your warm mouth, about your perfect tits

"cum in my mouth, cho” you take him again in your mouth and start deepthroat him, looking up at him with determination in your eyes.

he don’t need much longer, as your throat constricts around him once more, choso loses all sense of control, his climax erupting in a violent rush of hot, sticky fluid. he bucks and thrashes, overwhelmed by the intensity of his release as he empties himself into your waiting mouth.

choso’s hands find your hair, tangling as he holds you in place, plugging your mouth to the limit.

after the aftershocks pass, choso slowly takes his cock out of your mouth, his body limp, spent and panting. a dazed expression on his face, still reeling from the force of his climax.

you swallow everything he give you and pull off his softening cock, licking you lips clean “mmm so delicious” choso watches you gulp his load and he cups your check with trembeling hand, his expression full of adoration while he watch every part of your face.

"that was….incredibile..Y/N….thank you.”

“you deserve it, baby” you stand up and climb on him, his legs still shaking slightly, you take his earlobe in your mouth “now, how about you take care of me, hmm?”

a shiver runs down Choso's spine as warm breath caresses his ear, he groans softly.

"...anything for you," he moans feeling your hot breath and lips on his earlobe, he push your back closer and start worshiping your body.

he licks and nips at you skin, trailing kisses down your neck and across your collarbone. choso’s hands roam your body, mapping every curve and contour as you gasp and grinds unconsciously on him. you lick his neck and pinch his pecks slightly which made him moan.

“yeah? should i muffle you with my pussy? grind on your pretty face?”

a gasp escapes choso’s lips as the brief sting of pain quickly giving way to pleasure. He arches into your touch, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he pants.

“mmm yes... please, i want to make you feel good" he whispers, his voice husky with desire. “i-i want to taste you, feel you grinding against my face..”he pleads, his words dripping with submission and longing

you push him by his chest and climb on him fast, your soaked pussy closer to his face, smearing your juices all over his cheeks and chin as his eyes widen, hungry with desire while he put both hands on your ass and push it closer to his mouth, without hesitation, he parts his lips and extend his tongue and you start grinding on his face.

“f-fuck, cho! you are so obedient…..” you lift one leg over his shoulder, opening you further to him “now, open wide and show me how much you adore me, cho.”

"mmmhm…," he moans around your pussy, the flavor of your arousal coating his tongue. choso’s nose burrows into your slick folds, inhaling deeply as he laps at your clit and inner walls with reckless abandon.

choso’s cock already throbs painfully against his belly, straining for release even as he focuses solely on you

“ahhhh, yes, cho! just like that, eat my pussy! you starts grinding harder on his face, her fingers tangled in his hair, guiding him where you wants him most “you’re such a slut for my pussy, aren't you? fuck you feel so good” you moan harder, your legs trembeling

choso’s response is a muffled, guttural moan, his voice distorted by the plushness of your pussy filling his mouth. your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling him deeper and he welcomes the slight discomfort, craving more of your dominance, using his mouth like that.

"mmph, mmhmm...yes” he manages to convey between licks and sucks, his words slurred and breathy.

“oh, cho! right there, don't stop!” your breathing gets heavier, your moans louder as you ride his face “i’m gonna cum, cho!” you warn him before your whole body tenses up and she screams in pleasure, your pussy clenching hard around his tongue as he devours you and licking all your cum.

choso’s low moans vibrate against you, a symphony of pleasure and devotion. he continues to tongue-fuck you through the aftershocks, only when your tremors subside does chlso slowly pull back, his face glistening with your arousal and tears of pleasure

as he gazes up at you with adoring eyes, his chest heaving with emotion

“you taste so good, Y/n”

you look down at him, your eyes filled with love and lust “you were such a pretty good boy, cho” your voice hoarse from the screaming, still catching your breath

you undress from your shirt, revealing your tits to him, and start moving slowly on his abs, your pussy closer to his throbbing cock.

“such a good boy like maybe you deserve to fuck me, what do you think?”

choso’s heart races as you teases his straining erection with your slick folds, hos gaze is transfixed on your perfect breasts, his hand instantly cupping both of them, teasing them and pinching them slowly.

he groans, he pleades, his voice raw with longing “please…need to be inside you... “i’ll make you feel so good, Y/N, I promise," his eyes locked onto hers, brimming with love and lust.

you chuckle gently “i love how desperate you are for me” you take his dick and slowly you let him feel your walls

“f-fuck’” a low, guttural groan rumbles from his chest as he feels you, he gasps as you start moving, his fingers digging into your hips as he tries to anchor himself.

"do you see it now?" you whispered, leaning down so your lips brushed his ear. "do you feel how much you mean to me?"

his grip on your waist tightened, and his voice broke as he stammered, "y-yes… i—ah—" he couldn’t finish, his thoughts too jumbled, his body trembling beneath you.

"you’re the only one," you murmured, your tone soft but commanding. "the only one who gets to have me like this."

his eyes squeezed shut as a desperate, shaky moan escaped his lips, your name spilling from him like a prayer. the way his body reacted to every touch, every word, almost overwhelmed you—soft whimpers, broken gasps, his lips parting as he tried and failed to keep up with the sensations. he was so vulnerable, so open, it made your chest ache.

you steady yourself, wrapping your hand on his throat, bringing him back to the present “you like that, cho?” you smirk and start moving faster, slamming your hips down his cock “being my only one submissive boy?”

you lean forward, your breast pressing against his chest as you whisper in his ear

“i bet you want to take me and fuck me however you want, huh?” your hand tighten around his throat, applying just enough pressure to make him gasp and choso’s eyes roll back in ecstasy, a primal part of him almost taking over.

“no, no, Y/N….ah..i love it when you take control” he pants, his voice ragged with desperation. his hips buck up to meet your thrusts deeper

you grins wickedly and keep going, your movements become erratic “look at you. so desperate for me” you slap his cheek playfully, your pussy clenched harder on him.

“think you've earned a reward, do you know what is it?” choso’s vision blurs at the edges, your grip on his throat remains unyielding, he feels an intoxicating sense of euphoria. he gasp when your slap touched his cheek, his body tenses, coiled springs ready to snap, desperatly.

"p-please,... tell me... I'll do anything..."

“you can fuck me how you want, choso” you whisper, your voice cracking from the pleasure

at this, choso’s control stop immediately, he loses all semblance of restraint, flipping you onto your back and start thrusting with bruising force.

his hands grab your wrists, pinning them above your head as he begins to pound into you violently, each savage thrust driving him closer to the edge. one of hand goes to your clit, start moving faster and faster, wanting for you to cum either him

“mine! you’re only mine!” he snarls, his voice a feral growl as he claims glur body with ruthless intensity. choso’s hips slam against you, the lewd sound of flesh meeting flesh echoing through the room.

“oh my god, cho!!! make me cum!!!” your head rolls on the bed as you scream, when you lock your eyes with him, his eyes, wild and unhinged, bore into you as he ravages your cunt, his cock throbs inside you, driving closer and closer to the edge.

feeling your body tense, sensing your impeding orgasm, choso’s hip start slamming with bruising force, he rolls your clit between his finger, your legs shake badly as you feel your own climax taking ove. you start screaming into his neck. choso groaned deeply, his cock grinding harder around cervix, feeling your spasmming walls and orgasm,

““Y/N!!!”” choso cant hold any longer as his hips start jerk erratically, with a a final, brutal thrust, he buries himself to the hilt inside you, his cock throbbing as he unleashes a torrent of hot seed deep inside you and you whimper, feeling so full from both of your climaxes.

💞💕afterward, he collapsed beside you, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. you turned to him, brushing his damp hair out of his face, and his dark eyes met yours, still clouded but filled with so much love it made your heart ache.

"you’re incredible," you murmured, your voice soft but full of conviction.

he blinked at you, his lips parting slightly, and after a moment, he whispered, "thank you… for letting me."

you smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. "you don’t have to thank me, choso. i wanted this just as much"

his arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you like you might disappear.

"do you believe me now?" you murmured against his skin, your voice soft and steady.

choso pressed a kiss to your hair, his voice low and hoarse.

"yeah," he whispered, the smallest hint of a smile in his voice. "i do." You smiled against his chest, your fingers tracing lazy circles on his skin

“good," you whispered. "because you’re stuck with me."

"wouldn’t have it any other way," he replied, pulling you even closer.

"thank you, y/n," he murmured after a moment, his voice still shaky.

"for what, my pretty boy?" you asked, your fingers never stopping their soft patterns on his chest.

"for reminding me i’m enough," he said quietly, his arms tightening around you.

you smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his skin

“you don’t need reminding, choso. you always have been."

"i’m sorry," he murmured after a pause. "for doubting you."

you shook your head slightly, your voice tender but firm. "you don’t need to apologize either.. just remember next time—there’s no one else i’d rather be with than you."

he buried his face in your hair, his voice barely above a whisper as he promise

“i’ll remember." and for the first time all night, he let out a quiet, contented sigh, his insecurities finally silenced.

[ladykailitha]

The Au Pair Boy Part 9

Hey guys! Only one chapter of this one this week, I promise. But it's the chapter. The best chapter.

Eddie comes home! And Steve gets help in the kitchen.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8

~

Eddie insisted on having a cook come in and make dinner three times a week. That included Steve’s day off, so he would be cooking for most of their meals but that he would have help on those three days.

Steve disregarded professional chefs right off the bat. Eddie didn’t need to pay some big named star to make mediocre food for the girls. And would have stuck to that if the best candidate wasn’t a French Culinary school graduate with having owned two Michelin star restaurants.

His name was Benny Hammond and he was retired. He just wanted something fun to do in his spare time. Steve talked about what the girls liked, what recipes he had and when Eddie would be home.

“I haven’t cooked for kids in ages,” he said with a grin. “That sounds like a fun challenge. Count me in!”

Just after one week with Benny making all the meals, Eddie cackled an ‘I told you so!’ on his evening call with the girls.

“I didn’t realize how much energy all the cooking was taking until I had a day without doing it,” Steve whined.

“He made us grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup,” Joan said brightly. “It was nummy, Daddy.”

“And the soup didn’t even come in a can!” Janice crowed. “Not even the tomatoes.”

“It was better than how I make it,” Steve grumbled into Joan’s hair.

But Eddie caught it anyway. “Sounds like someone was right. So what do we say, Stevie?”

Steve wanted to pout but that would set a really bad example for the girls so he straightened up and sighed. “Thank you Eddie. Benny was the final piece of the puzzle we all needed to for a well run household.”

“Good!” Eddie said brightly. “I have some news. It’s bad news for the band, but good news for everyone else.”

Both girls perked up and started talking over each other as they tried to guess what it was.

“Joanie! Janie!” Eddie barked from the tablet Steve was holding. “If you’ll let me talk, I’ll be able to tell you.” Once both girls had settled, Eddie cleared his throat. “Thanks to a major hurricane, the last two shows have been combined into one big fundraiser for the towns devastated by the storm.”

“I heard about that on the news,” Steve said with a nod. “I’m sorry the tour has to wrap up early, though. I know you were really looking forward to playing in Ashville.”

“It is what it is,” Eddie said resigned. “But all proceeds will go to disaster relief so some good will come out of it.”

“Well, that’s good,” Steve murmured. “I’ve got to get these little munchkin to their bath, but I guess we’ll see you on Saturday.”

“So you will,” Eddie replied warmly. “Good night, girlies!”

“Night, Daddy!” Janice and Joan chorused. Then they clambered off Steve’s lap and tore off for their bedroom.

Steve turned off the app and laid the tablet down with a sigh. It was a good thing that Eddie was coming home. He just felt conflicted about how soon it was now. He thought he would have more to get his emotions under control.

~

Janice and Joan wanted to dress up really nice for their dad so Steve helped them pick out their outfits.

Janice had completely surprised Steve when she pulled out a pretty plaid skirt and a white blouse. She was such a tomboy most of the time, that he wasn’t even aware she had skirts and dresses in her closet.

Joan wore a matching plaid jumper dress with a similar style in blouse. They even had matching black Mary Jane shoes.

Steve had never seen them look more like twins in the whole time he had known them. They even asked him for matching French braid pigtails.

Janice and Joan sat in front of the window, anxiously waiting for the Uber that would be dropping their dad off so they could see him in person for the first time in months. Steve had originally tried to distract them from the ever present ticking clock, but gave up about an hour in.

They were just too keyed up.

Then an unknown silver SUV pulled up to the house and out Eddie popped. The girls started screaming and jumping up and down.

“Girls go get your signs!” Steve said brightly and they ran off to grab the signs they had made yesterday.

The door opened to a very bedraggled Eddie and the second he saw his girls with matching outfits and cute little signs saying Welcome Home, he dropped to his knees. He threw open his arms and both girls dogpiled him.

There were tears flowing down all three of their faces. Eddie picked them both up and walked toward the sofa, then he carefully lowered himself onto its surface.

Steve just smiled and walked away.

He made his way to the kitchen where Benny was slaving away at marvelous homecoming meal. Steve leaned up against the doorway and watched as the large chef chopped away at some vegetables. His skill was always fun to watch.

“I thought I told you that you weren’t allowed in the kitchen when I work,” Benny said without turning around.

Steve huffed out a breathy laugh. “I’m following your rule, you grumpy old man. I’m not in the kitchen.”

Benny turned around and sniffed. “Close enough.” He looked up at the clock. “Shouldn’t the master of the house be home by now.” He waved to a bar stool for Steve to take a seat.

“He’s here,” Steve said, sitting down. “But I don’t know him well enough to know if he’s the kind of man that likes crying in front of other adults. Especially ones he doesn’t know well.”

Benny stopped for a moment and then nodded, going back to his chopping. “That’s fair. You’re like me, when things get too emotional, we come to kitchen to work out those emotions.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, nodding back. “I love having you here. It makes taking care of the girls so much easier...”

“But sometimes you wish that you can just come into the kitchen and make something?” Benny finished. “Next time you feel that way, let me know and I’ll teach you a technique or a new recipe, all right?”

“Thanks, Benny.”

After a few minutes of contented silence Benny spoke, “You should probably go check on them and makes sure they’re alive enough to eat my dinner.”

Steve laughed, slapping a hand the counter and getting up. “You got it.”

He wandered back to the front room but no one was there. Steve frowned and went to Eddie’s office, but they weren’t there either. He put his hands on his hips and pursed his lips. Where could they have gone?

He tapped his lips thoughtfully and the darted up the stairs, taking them at two at a time. He reached the top in no time at all and sure enough he could hear giggling. With a sigh of relief he walked to the girls’ room and pushed open the partially closed door.

Joan had decorated Eddie’s hair with ribbons while Janice read “Opposites” to him in a very serious tone.

Steve couldn’t hold back the bark of laughter when he saw the absolutely besotted expression on Eddie’s face.

Eddie looked up in shock and then when he saw who it was, he grinned. “Do I look pretty?”

“The prettiest,” Steve confirmed, moving further into the room. “Benny sent me in search of everyone because dinner is almost ready.”

Eddie’s face really lit up. “Ooh. He asked me what my favorite dish was and is making it for me. I’m really excited to see what a Michelin chef can do with poor people food.”

The girls both made faces and Steve gave them a look. “Remember when you went to Maria’s birthday party and the cake was carrot and you didn’t like it?”

Both girls nodded and Eddie looked suddenly interested in the new lesson they learned. “What’s this?” he asked gleefully.

“When it’s someone else’s day,” Joan said, “they can have whatever they want for their party.” She scuffed her shoe on the carpet. “So since it’s Daddy’s homecoming day, he can have whatever he wants.”

Eddie cackled in satisfaction. “Yes, girls that is a very important lesson to learn. It’s hardly my fault you inherited your Papa’s palate. I like it and so we are going to have it for dinner.”

“I’ve seen it,” Steve said, barely concealing a smile. “It looks fantastic. I can’t wait to try it.” He bent down to the girls’ level. “Remember the three bite rule. You take three regular sized bites and if you don’t like it, you can have something else.”

Joan nodded solemnly but Janice’s face as twisted up in distaste. Steve just shook his head. “Go wash your hands, girls and then join us at the dinner table.”

Both girls were off with a flash and Steve held out his hand to help Eddie to his feet. Once on his feet Eddie flashed him a broad smile that really showed off those dimples. He looked...cute.

Just then the door to the girls’ bathroom burst open and Steve dropped Eddie’s hand. Not quick or harsh. Just a simple act of letting go.

“I’ll race you to the table!” Eddie crowed, ducking around Steve.

Both girls squealed in delight and they were off like a shot, tearing down the stairs like a herd of elephants being told that it was peanut time.

Steve followed more slowly behind just soaking up how happy the girls were that their dad was home at last. The trip had clearly done Eddie good. He had color in his cheeks and his shoulders were no longer up around his ears, like dog expecting to be hit. Time away from the girls really helped him out.

“Come sit by me!” Joan cried when he entered the dinning room. She patted the spot between her and across from Eddie.

Eddie lit up at that and grinned at Steve. “Looks like you’re stuck with us now, Stevie boy! Once Joanie’s got her hooks in ya, you can’t leave.”

Steve smiled and shook his head fondly. “That would imply that I would want to leave in the first place.” He bopped Joan’s nose and she giggled. “And that would never happen ever!”

Just then Benny came in hold a large casserole dish. It had tatter tots covered with cheese and it just smelled heavenly. Benny set it on the table and began serving them. Inside was fresh peas and carrots and shredded beef in a mushroom sauce, gently seasoned with herbs and spices. Steve couldn’t wait to dig in.

Eddie was served first and he bit into that first bite. The moan of pleasure that escaped his lips, caused Steve’s eyes to roll back and flutter shut as he tried to think of very gross things to keep his embarrassing erection to a minimum.

“Benny!” Eddie cried. “This is amazing! You really out did yourself.” He grabbed the spoon from the dish and brandished it at Steve and the twins. “Mine! All for me!”

Steve laughed and then took a bite of his own and his eyes snapped up. “Sorry girls, but it appears I’m going to have duel your dad for the rest of this casserole.”

“Betrayed!” Eddie said, clutching the spoon to him. Suddenly he got a wicked gleam in his eye and he licked the spoon.

“Ewww...” Janice crowed.

“Gross!” Joan agreed.

Steve just shook his head and turned back to his meal. He wasn’t going to do something in front of the girls, because it would be the wrong lesson to teach, but he was highly tempted to grab the spoon and lick another stripe right next to Eddie’s. But for now he would bide his time.

The two girls managed to eat about half before declaring they wanted something else. So Benny took them into the kitchen to fix them something they would eat.

Steve leaned over and whispered, “Jokes on you, I’m a nanny, a little spit won’t deter me from what I want.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide and he shoved his hair in front of his face to hide his blush as Steve helped himself to another spoonful of the casserole.

Steve ate in smug silence as Eddie took a moment to come back online. He cleared his throat a couple of times but didn’t dare speak.

Once Steve had eaten his fill, he picked up the girls’ dishes and piled them on his plate. He stood up but before turning away to take the dishes into the kitchen, he said softly. “I’m glad you’re home too.”

Eddie looked up at him in awe and nodded. “It’s good to be home, Stevie. It’s so good to be home.”

Steve smiled and walked away.

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @tartarusknight @gregre369

2- ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi

3- @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch

4- @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @ollieolive @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1

5- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

6- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

7- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

8- @sadisticaltarts @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dolphincliffs @steddie-as-they-go @steddieislife

9- @kultiras @morallyundefined @themoonagainstmers @fearieshadow @blondie1006

10- @thesecondfate @wheneverfeasible @depressed-freak13 @genderless-spoon @yesdangerpls

[vonlycaonwife]

Lycaon relationship hcs

Omg I went off on this, this was supposed to be for someone’s request but then I accidentally went completely self indulgent. So this will be made into its own post!

Warnings: nsfw (under the cut), knotting, bdsm

Honestly seeing Lycaon in a relationship is like seeing fireflies in the night. It's so whimsical and almost magical, even if it is reality and down to earth.

He's just so sweet and romantic, a lot of the time not meaning to! Like he just naturally would do these little things that make your heart melt.

Though in the beginning he definitely was nervous, not so much to the point of it being obvious to a stranger. But the rest of the members definitely had fun seeing him overthink his actions.

These three would definitely be asked a lot of questions, mainly Rina though since she would have better advice (debatable) than Corin or Ellen.

But! Once the relationship has been through the first couple of months everything is pretty smooth sailing.

He doesn't really question what to do, mainly because he would communicate with you very clearly and often to make sure everything is alright and he's not overstepping.

If his partner isn't a thiren I can imagine him fearing about potentially overstepping because of the possible habits thirens have when in relationships.

One I feel is them being a bit more territorial, though how it's shown is dependent on each person. For Lycaon I feel that for him it's very subtle, like making sure his scent is on you. I can't see him getting aggressive publicly unless someone was making his partner uncomfortable.

Another thiren custom I highly feel is a thing is partners grooming each other. Since it's a common thing amongst animals for bonding, thirens most likely have that instinct as well. So I can see him insistenting on brushing your hair and maybe doing your makeup if you wear any. And he wouldn't really complain about you returning the favor, you would definitely see his tail wagging as you brush his fur.

Also! Another important thing you see more commonly than others is definitely him using more casual prosthetics than the ones we see usually see him. While they would be cyber enhancements as well, they wouldn't have the same modifications as his work ones. I can't imagine him letting just anyone see him use those, so you would be very special to him to see him using those.

Do I have to even mention that he's like the best when it comes to taking care of a sick partner? THIS MAN-

While I don’t believe he would call out of work for a simple cold, he would already have everything prepared for you. Like medicine beside your bed along with a warm meal in the microwave (to keep warm).

But if it's worse than that you can guarantee that he's staying around to make sure you recover at a speedy pace.

Nsfw under the cut

Okay but it's very obvious Lycaon restrains himself a lot to put on a more sophisticated approach.

So when to sex with him you really would have to show him how much you trust him to let him fully relax and not hold himself back during the act.

Even then I don't think he would want to do things roughly that often, maybe only when he's really stressed and needs to release it. Though if that were to be the case there is always a safe word.

As a thiren I do believe he potentially goes through a rut, but it's not really something that happened often until he met you. And even then he most likely prefers to not undergo that since he would lose control of himself.

But! That doesn't mean I don't think he's kinky, I definitely believe he is.

I can see him having a small bdsm thing, but it's only surface level. He mainly would only ever bring these into the bedroom once he knows there's a great amount of trust between you two.

He very much gives soft dom vibes, but it's also obvious that he also has the potential to be a mean dom. I mean come on they're clearly hinting at him being a bit sadistic, even if surface level.

Also I have to say this, he definitely has a knot. (YOU CANNOT STOP ME I AM A FURRY BITCH *ahem* anyway-) But in order for that to ever come into play he would prepare for several weeks, since I can't imagine him not having a big dick and putting a knot on that sounds painful. 

But also I feel like he would only ever do penetrative sex if he's very confident about spending the rest of his life with his partner. Since wolves do have a habit of mating for life.

So it would take awhile to get to that point, and even longer once he's agreed to it since again, prepping you could take a bit.

Another thing I feel I should bring up is him potentially keeping his prosthetics on during sex. It would be the casual ones I've spoken about, but I think he wouldn't take them off for extra leverage and also comfortability (as I feel like in zzz they're most likely advanced enough in tech to where they're pretty comfortable to wear a lot).

Though on the off chance he doesn't have them on you would more likely than not ride him.

Actually speaking on positions, he's definitely a missionary or mating press guy. Maybe would do stuff from behind if he's bending you over a counter or desk. 

Though that would only happen when at home, since I highly doubt he would want anyone to walk in on him while in the act.

[mari-writes]

“Um, Viktor, I think you’ve had enough.”

Jayce nervously taps his friend on the shoulder. The man is collapsed across the bar top, a glass filled with some sort of cocktail clutched in one hand.

“Hmm,” Viktor slumps further, only turning his head to face him. “Oh! Jayce. Hello.” A dreamy smile pulls at his lips. He blinks slowly. 

He’s so drunk. Jayce rolls his eyes fondly. “Yeah, it’s me.” He prods him again. “Cmon, buddy. We should go.”

“No!” Viktor sits up so fast he nearly elbows Jayce in the stomach. “I’m not finished!” The man holds up his drink. It catches the light, sparkling a bit with some sort of edible glitter. His eyes shine with wonder, as if he were witnessing another Hextech miracle.

“Bottoms up!” Viktor cries, and proceeds to chug the rest. Jayce catches himself starting at the long, graceful column of Viktor’s neck, at how his throat works to down the drink. And when he finishes—the way he gasps, licks his lips. Heat sizzles in Jayce’s gut.

That’s been been happening a lot lately: The lingering glances at Viktor’s face and body, and the immediate guilt that follows. Jayce shouldn’t be looking at or feeling for his partner this way. But he can’t help it.

“Woah!” Jayce barely has time to react as Viktor slides off his stool, landing hard on the ground. His legs buckle slightly and he wobbles. “Careful!” Jayce hurries to steady him by the elbows. “Where’s your crutch?” When Viktor shrugs, he sighs, scanning the area until he spots it leaning against the end of the bar.

“All right. Let’s get you back to your room.”

It’s a struggle. A drunk Viktor is even more stubborn than a sober one. He insists he can hobble himself back to his room, only relenting once he nearly face-plants into a foliage display. His clothes are getting rumpled, shirt half-untucked from his slacks, tie in disarray. 

Jayce ends up supporting the majority of his friend’s weight, with Viktor’s arm around his shoulders. Jayce can’t help but notice how small the man’s waist feels under his palm. His fingers twitch.

“You were only at the gala for a couple of hours,” Jayce notes, if only to distract himself. “You didn’t have that many drinks, did you? You’re such a lightweight.”

Viktor snorts. “I am not.”

“Oh really? Who’s the guy being carried out of the party right now?”

At that, Viktor halts in place and turns toward him. “Oh, Jayce,” he smirks. “I’m almost certain I’ve consumed more substances in my life than you.” His voice is breathy. Teasing. Jayce pouts. Viktor’s probably right, but he’s not sure he should be proud of that fact.

“Viktor,” he warns, but that only seems to amuse his friend further. He leans in, so close that Jayce can easily count the man’s lashes. His eyes are drawn to those two lovely moles—on his sharp cheekbone, above his upper lip. Jayce wants to trace from one to the other with his—

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you?”

Jayce nearly chokes on his own spit. He blinks, leaning back to stare at Viktor with wide eyes. He feels his jaw drop. “V-Viktor!” He stammers, aghast at both his friend’s words and his own body’s reaction to them. Everything is suddenly so, so warm, from the tips of his ears to the ends of his toes.

Neither of them say anything for a few moments. They just stand there, at an impasse, with Viktor grinning slyly and Jayce sputtering like a moron. A strange energy swirls between them, as if they’re back in their lab experimenting. But there’s no magic here. Or electricity. It’s just them.

“Hmm,” Viktor finally breaks the silence, leaning back. He nods once. “I thought so.” He starts walking again, forcing Jayce to follow.

“You know what?” Jayce snaps, finally finding his words. He hefts his friend up higher, supporting him a bit more. “If you’re so used to abusing alcohol, maybe I should just leave you in this hallway to fend for yourself.”

“Hey!” Viktor’s voice cracks slightly. “Be nice to me! I’m disabled!”

“That’s no excuse for being a drunk idiot.”

At that, Viktor throws his head back and releases a booming laugh. It’s loud, louder than Jayce has ever heard his friend laugh, shaking the man’s entire body. His eyes are squeezed shut, mouth wide in unabashed joy.

Jayce is unable to look away. He knows he must be wearing the most besotted, far-gone look on his face right now, but he can’t bring himself to care. This man is incredible. Beautiful. Absolutely perfect. How lucky is Jayce, to have him as his partner.

As they trek the final distance, Viktor’s ramblings wane. He’s half asleep by the time they make it to his room. Jayce helps him to his bed, laying him down as gently as possible and bending down to remove the other man’s shoes.

“Jayce.”

Glancing up, he sees his friend’s fiery gaze fixed on him. “Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Jayce smiles softly. “Anytime, Viktor.” Hands on hips, he raises one eyebrow at his friend. “Take care of yourself, okay? And don’t come crying to me tomorrow if you’re hungover.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

Jayce chuckles as he quietly sees himself out. “Good night, Viktor.”

//

My very first jayvick fic! 🤗 It was inspired by this amazing artwork on BlueSky! I love these two so much and wanted to write a lighthearted little story after such a heartbreaking finale 😭 PLEASE, if you enjoyed, comment and share! I’m usually a Haikyuu writer so any promotion for this is helpful. 🙏❤️ Thanks!

[pinkslipxox]

heyyy babe, how’ve you been?

i wonder if you could write anything over billie/reader and they enjoying wicked lol it has been my current obsession ngl

thank you always my sweet

Heyyy baby! Ahhh omg yes of course! Hope you like it 🥰❤️🥹

——————————————————————————

The soft sound of raindrops tapping against the window harmonizes with the gentle melodies playing from your speaker, creating the perfect soundtrack for a cozy day indoors with Billie. The room is a sanctuary, filled with plush blankets, pillows in every color, and the rich scent of popcorn making the air feel warm and inviting.

You sink into the couch, wrapping yourself in a blanket, feeling the weight of the world melt away. Billie enters the room, a playful glint in her eye as she carries a large bowl of popcorn—steaming and buttery—as if it were a precious treasure.

“You seriously want to watch Wicked again?” she asks, feigning annoyance while her lips unconsciously curve upwards at the corners.

You nod enthusiastically, your eyes lighting up. “Yes! It’s so good! Come on, let’s just enjoy it one more time!”

Billie rolls her eyes dramatically, but you know her too well. You see the playful softness in her gaze, and your heart swells at how she’s such a good sport about it. “Ugh, fine. But this is the last time today, mama,” she concedes, her voice almost teasing as she plops down next to you, bringing the popcorn with her.

You snuggle into her side, feeling her warmth envelope you like a comforting blanket. “You really are the best,” you say softly, leaning your head against her shoulder.

Billie’s fingers find their way into your hair, gently playing with the ends as she cradles you in her arms. “Only for you, sweetheart,” she murmurs, the nickname rolling off her tongue as naturally as breathing. You glance up at her, a smile growing on your face as she leans down, placing soft kisses along the length of your neck. You shiver slightly, not from the cold but from the trail of warmth left behind by her lips.

“Hmmm, you think you can distract me with those sweet kisses?” you tease, trying to maintain your composure as goosebumps graze your skin.

She chuckles softly, her breath warm against your cheek. “Maybe,” she whispers playfully, her fingers brushing lightly over your arm, leaving a trail of soft affection. “But the truth is, I just can’t help myself. You’re too precious, mama.”

You blush at her words, feeling a flutter in your chest as you offer her a handful of popcorn. “Then you shouldn’t hold back,” you reply, your voice playful and whispery.

As the movie rolls on, you cozy deeper into Billie’s embrace. Your fingers intertwine with hers as you both enjoy the movie, happily munching on popcorn together. Billie steals glances at you, a fond smile curving her lips as she sees you becoming lost in the story and the music, your heart blooming with joy and wonder.

“Okay, I have to admit,” she says suddenly, shifting a little to look directly at you, “maybe this movie isn’t the worst thing to watch for the hundredth time, especially when I get to cuddle with you.”

You giggle, beaming up at her. “I knew you secretly loved it!”

“Fine. I might kinda like it,” she retorts playfully, pressing another kiss to your neck, her lips lingering just a moment longer. The affection fills you with warmth as you squirm against her, completely lost in this moment.

As the final credits roll, Billie holds you tightly, her chin resting on the top of your head. “So, should we go for round two?” she asks, her tone playful but soft, her fingers continuing to weave through your hair.

You smile, curling further into her. “Only if you promise to keep cuddling me,” you tease back, your heart racing with excitement.

She lets out a light laugh, wrapping her arms around you even tighter. “Deal,” she says, pulling the blanket over both of you as she queues up the movie once more.

In the gentle cocoon of blankets, popcorn, and soft melodies, you stay cuddled together, lost in laughter and love, savoring every moment of your cozy day spent together—where every playful annoyance only deepens the sweetness of your bond.

[hannamoon143]

Die with a Smile

Nobody‘s promised tomorrow

So imma love you every night like it‘s the last night

Cause i wanna hold you just for a while, and die with a smile

༘⋆ ❅ ･:*:｡ ❆

Words: 5,2k

Genre: angst, fluff, comfort(…?), christmas

Hyunjin x fem. Reader

Warnings: Cancer!!!! So sickness, food, crying, sickingly sweet fluff, fears, , all i want for christmas by mariah carey (yes that needs a warning),death,non-sexual nudity (they r just bathing), cinnamon (sorry but- warning needed),

A/n: hi! I had so much fun writing this, and it‘s also for the StayblrHolidayEvent . I hope yall enjoy this also since it‘s my first christmas fic. Also as u can see it’s a bit inspired from die with a smile (bruno mars & lady gaga). Basically It’s just those lines i wrote over there kinda inspired me how to write the emotions and thoughts and stuff. So now, take ur hot chocolate, a fuzzy blanket and read! Merry christmas and happy holidays to yall🎄💕✨

You were laying down next to hyunjin, watching the other guys in front of you, while he was sketching most probably them or the decorated livingroom, or just the whole scene in front of him. Felix, Chan and Minho had come over, and now they were laughing as they decorated your tree, the rest of the livingroom, and singing christmas songs. The christmas joy had definitely taken over them, also if you couldn‘t really feel anything of it.„Don‘t you wanna get up and help them?“ Hyunjin mumbled quietly to you, not looking up from his sketch. He did that so often lately. He sketched simple scenes or things he saw, shutting almost everything else out. As if he wanted to remember everything to the smallest detail. „No, i‘m good here with you.“ You responded, laying your head on his shoulder. He sighed quietly, and kept drawing in silence for a while, the only noise was the guys bantering and christmas songs playing in the background. Then he spoke up again, quietly. „Y/nnie, you don‘t have to always sit around me and baby me alright? Don‘t think i don‘t know why you are doing this, and don‘t think i didn‘t hear you crying in the bathroom. I‘m well aware of the situation, but why can‘t we just make the best out of it? I feel like all this is getting to you more than to me, when it‘s literally me who is going to die.“ You froze at his words.

Last christmas, hyunjin had been diagnosed with cancer, and the worst was it was a type that could never be healed. They had told you that he had about one more year to live. That time you broke down entirely, and already there it was you who seemed to be more affected than him. But over a bit time you started acting normal again, not constantly being around him and doing everything for him. But now the year was coming to an end, and christmas was standing on the frontdoor. With that everything came back. You suddenly were all over him, not once leaving his side, and everytime he wanted to get up or something you pressed him down and did whatever he wanted to do for him.

The worst was you could feel it. Somewhere inside you had always hoped that the doctors were just wrong and hyunjin wouldn’t die in the next sixty years. But you saw that they were right. The way he slowly began to always eat a bit less than before, the way the circles under his eyes got darker, and his cheekbones more visible. You hated it. You didn’t hate him of course, you could never, but you hated this stupid cancer and what it was doing to your hyunjin. It was taking him painfully slow out of this world. With him getting worse you were too. You wanted to be strong for him, and for him to have the happiest last christmas ever but you couldn’t help it, the weight of the fact that soon he wouldn’t be there anymore was dragging you down too much, when you knew that it only hurt him more to see you like this, altough you always tried to hide it.

So there you were now. You stiffened and took your head off his shoulder, to look him in the eye. „Don‘t say it like that hyun-“

„No, i will in fact say it like that, cause i‘m not gonna lie to any of us for longer.I know that i‘m going to die, and you know it too okay? So why can‘t we enjoy the time left, and just do everything like we used to, instead of you constantly acting like i‘m some kind of fragile doll that could break at any moment? You acting like a overprotective mom isn‘t gonna change a single thing, as much as it hurts to hear that. Think about it y/n. Because i don‘t want to sit on this couch or in my bed the rest of my life. I‘m not doing this y/n.“ His voice was thick with emotion, and he had kicked his sketchbook away. He stood up, in fact needing a bit time to get up, and to lean onto the wall, but he went into your room, shutting the door. You stared at the closed door, with an empty hollow gaze. The other guys now excused themself and left. But before he left, chan said to you with a guilty smile: „Not everything he said is true, but you should think about some parts. Bye y/nnie.“

Now you were left alone in the silence. Hyunjin’s sketchbook was laying open on the floor, and the pages were a bit scaped now. He was going to be mad at himself for that later. You picked it up, wanting to close it, but then you saw his sketch from today. It wasn’t the scene in front of him, it was you, looking a bit sad. Under the drawing he wrote

My sad girl, 2024

When is she gonna be my happy girl again?

A tear ran down your cheek. He was always very empathetic and he hated when you felt down. Why hadn‘t you thought of the fact that you being like this only weighed him more down?

You cuddled up under the blanket that was still warm from hyunjin, tears slowly falling down. You knew he was right. Of course he wanted to enjoy his life, as long as he was still able to. Because no matter what you were going to do, it wasn‘t gonna change anything anyways, so why not enjoy instead of being sad and regretful when he was still with you, still breathing, still being able to smile at you?

After a while you could finally get yourself to go to him again. You braced yourself and got up, knocking on the door of your shared room. He just faintly sniffled. You opened the door slowly, seeing him huddled up under a blanket. He was crying, and it broke your heart. Hyunjin was a sensitive guy, and he hated arguing with loved ones more than anything, so you should have known that this would get to him, also if he was acting careless and tough. You kept being quiet, just sitting down on your side of the bed. You started stroking his hair, at wich he only started crying more. After a while of being like this in silence, the only sounds his quiet crying and the air cnditioner in the background, he lowered the blanket and looked at you with red eyes. „I don‘t want to die either y/n. I just… i‘m trying to be strong cause you are hurting so much,and i‘m so sorry for leaving you alone my love-“ His voice broke, and more tears spilled over onto his red cheeks. You opened your arms for him, and he didn‘t hesitate. He immediately moved a bit so his head was laying on your chest now. Quickly you wrapped your arms around him, kissing his head, while a few tears trailed down your cheeks too. Of course you knew. „I know, i know hyunnie. But you don‘t need to be strong all the time. I can‘t cure the cancer, but we are in this together. You can tell me how you feel, and i will give you space when you need it, but be by your side whenever you want it too. And i also promise to not act like a overprotective mom anymore.“ He chuckled a bit through his tears at that, wich made you do so too. „See, everything‘s okay. You are not alone, and as long as we can spend time together, i’ll be with you, trying to make your time left the best you ever had. How about tomorrow we make a christmas day? Like we go to the christmas market, bake gingerbread in the afternoon and sing christmas songs, all while we have ugly christmas sweaters on?“ you both started laughing, the tears finally stopping. He nodded,his face squished against your hoodie now, and his breathing was evening out. Maybe you really shouldn‘t take everything that serious. Because now it wasn‘t that point where you would have to say goodbye. You had no idea how much, but you had some time left to spend together, and you would try to make the best out of it. You would love him till the very end, and even after that, you‘d still do so. And as long as he was next to you would also tell him that, and make sure that when he had to go, he would do so in peace. So you closed your eyes, and in this little moment, everything that mattered was hyunjin, entirely squished against you, and you, holding him, as long as you could. The stars could have looked down at you two that night, and altough hyunjin was sick, and paths of the tears that you both cried earlier still lingered on your cheeks, they would have seen you two shine brighter than ever, the light not leaving, as long as you were together.

Prove reading done* until there ^

The next morning you woke up, a white comforter draped over you, and you almost had a heart attack when hyunjin was nowhere near. But then you saw him, walking in with a big grin, and one of the matching ugly christmas sweaters you had bought together sometime on.You started laughing, still half asleep and in a groggy voice. „You look…. Interesting.“ hyunjin laughed and threw something at you. It was your christmas sweater. You sighed, and you did your best to put a serious face on. His smile dropped. „Oh no- no- don‘t say you changed your mind.“ You broke out in a laugh and jumped up, putting the sweater over your pajama shirt. „God you are going to make me die even sooner with the heart attacks you give me.“ Hyunjin dramatically exhaled, gripping his chest. You just rolled your eyes at that. You were glad he was his usual dramatic self, the weight in the room that you both somehow created the past weeks, seemingly gone, replaced by a lighthearted joyful mood.

So you dressed the rest of yourself, grabbed your things and left the apartment with hyunjin. He had insisted to eat waffles at his favorite coz cafe around the corner, and not have one of your healthy breakfasts at home. You had given in, so now you were walking there, both wrapped up in coats, and fuzzy scarfs. It was cold outside, and the wind blew. There were faint smells of gingerbread and cinnamon in the air, telling you it was really getting christmas now. Well christmas was already tomorrow so how could it be different? You went into the cafe and hyunjin picked a spot at the window. On the pastell green walls there were everywhere pretty pictures, and the chairs were all different, each one looking vintage and really comfy. You ordered two waffles and two hot chocolates. As you sat there in the cozy fluffy chair, you looked at him. He looked the same as yesterday, and the days before but something was different. It wasn‘t the pink shade on his nose from the cold, or neither the Christmas sweater. No, it was that his eyes sparkled. They sparkled like they didn‘t in a long time. Maybe he was right? Maybe this was what he needed, not your experimental healthy food (that didn’t even taste good, eugh) and constant sitting around at home. Hyunjin shook you out of your thoughts. „Why are you staring?“

You shook your head with a little smile. „You‘re pretty today.“

He just laughed, assuming you were joking because of the sweater.

Your waffles and hot chocolate were served and hyunjin got excited like a kid, and immediately started munching them. You giggled, and secretly took a picture with your phone. Then you started eating too. The waffles tasted like christmas and happiness. You had never eaten such good waffles before. Maybe it was also just the feeling to sit here and eat them with hyunjin, entirely lighthearted and happy for the first time in weeks. As you were highly concentrated on your food, hyunjin suddenly spoke up. „I love you, you know that? And i always will, even when you can‘t see me anymore. But don‘t worry, i‘ll look at you getting older, achieving your dreams, and doing everything you want to, because i know you’ll do so well, even without me. And i‘ll protect you, from wherever i will be going. You‘ll always be my muse y/n.“ He sounded sincere, not sarcastic like when he was being dramatic, though he kept on eating his waffles, like he didn‘t just say something that almost made you cry and want to hold him for the rest of your life. You looked at him, tears building up a bit behind your eyes. „Hyunnie… I love you too, and always will. I don‘t know if i ever can fully move on though,… because i will always think of you when i look at the moon shining bright on the dark night sky, or when i look at the town around christmastime, everything tinted in a soft glow and everything smelling like gingerbread.“ You said, but you weren‘t as desperate and almost seeming like you would break down at any moment, like it was just a few days ago when he started talking about his death. No, you were calm, and a little, sad smile played on your lips. He was done with his waffles now, and leaned over the table to cup your cheek in his warm hand. „It‘s okay y/nnie. Grieving i a natural and healthy part of when someone you love is dying. And it‘s okay to cry, scream or vent to someone. But please don‘t do all that alone hm? I talked to the boys a few days ago, and they have all grown so close to you too over the years, they will support you, and you can grieve together. Know that you are not alone y/n, never. And i‘ll always be somewhere in there.“ He pointed at where your heart was. „And you are the strongest, bravest woman i know, so i know that you will be able to somewhat move on someday. Oh but i have one little request. Please never forget me, no matter what you choose to do in the future. I like the idea of you being reminded of me when looking at the moon or while the christmas season. I hope you are being reminded of me in a good way though, and not like a haunting nightmare way.“ He chuckled at the last part a bit. And you smiled too.

„I would never forget you love, and don’t worry about it, you‘ll always be my dream, never my nightmare.“

„Oh but one more thing. Don’t be afraid of me dying, while i’m still here. Everything is gonna be okay.“ He smiled. You both looked into each other‘s eyes for a moment there, and it felt like nothing else was existing right now. No other people, no sadness, and no cancer. Just hyunjin‘s mesmerizing dark eyes looking into yours.

You two were walking out the cafe, hand in hand, now going to the little christmas market hyunjin adored since you took him there for the first time. Since then he didn‘t spend a singly christmas season without going there.

Your breaths were coming out in little white clouds, and you put your head on hyunjin‘s shoulder. He took his hand out of yours,and instead lovingly wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close, and pressing a kiss to your head. You loved when he did that. If only you could stop time now, and walk in the joyful town forever with your boyfriend.

But soon you heard happy children‘s laughter, and smelled cinammon. No doubt that there was the christmas market. Hyunjin started smiling like crazy. He loved the fact that he got to see this for the last time with you. No, he wouldn’t be sad that it was the last time today, and regret things. No, he would just be so, so glad to spend this day here, forgetting the cancer that usually weighed him down, for a while. It seemed like a gift that he got this day, being with his favorite person in probably his favorite place.

Soon enough he saw a stand, with cute handmade christmas decorations. He immediately went over there, and made a adorable noise.

„Looooook y/n, it‘s a ferret with a scarf, and it looks like my scarf! We need to adopt him and hang him on our tree. I feel our bond, so no arguing on this one.“ He said dead serious. You laughed, looking at the ferret. You almost forgot how excited hyunjin always got at the christmas market, and how you had to convince him to not buy literally everything he saw. But you nodded on this one, the little deco really looking a bit like hyunjin right now, with his cute red nose and the adorable smile on his face. He went to the man who was selling it, and even gave him more money than the ferret costed. The guy happily wished him merry christmas and waved. Hyunjin just loved to make people happy, and why not do that especially now? He took your hand in his again, walking by the other stands, the shimmer of the fairylights hanging on all the stands mirroring the one in his eyes. As you were slowly walking, you, literally trying to convince hyunjin to not buy a gigantic wolf statue from the eighteenth century for chan(He was so silly, he had to gift everyone the most random things for christmas with the simple explanation: I saw that and thought of you), you suddenly felt something cold on your face. Hyunjin seemed to feel it too, because he looked up and immediately his whole face lit up even more if that was possible. „Omg Y/n it‘s snowing! This is just a perfect day, even the weather with it‘s beautiful snow is on our side.“ He talked, not really paying attention to what he was saying, just mesmerized by the white crystals.

Sometimes you took a bit time, just to admire the way he got excited over little things, in a way you would usually see it only with kids. Those moments, when joy was literally radiating from him you felt so much love and admiration for him that you could combust. You just wanted to snap a hundred pictures with that adorable smile and the shine in his eyes, and keep them forever in your heart. You brushed his hair out of his face, and your hand lingered on his cheek for a bit longer. „You‘re right hyun, this is the perfect day.“ You whispered. He just continued smiling, then lowered down to kiss you. You didn‘t feel the cold snow on your skin anymore, only your boyfriends soft lips, that tasted like cinammon and warmness, pressed to yours. As you pulled away, your foreheads were resting against each other, and you felt his warm breath on your face. „Let‘s go home now, then we can bake gingerbread and show mini Jinnie his new home.“ you giggled at his words, and nodded, your eyes not leaving his.

You walked through your apartment door, both of you giggling like lovesick fools. You took your shoes and coat off, but suddenly your feet got sweeped off the floor, and you were being carried by hyunjin. „Yah, stop it!! The doctor said no heavy lifting!“ You slapped his arm in an attempt to make him let you down but you couldn‘t even hold in your own laugh. He shook his head and dramatically said: „If not now, then when should i carry you bridal style, my lady?“ You playfully slapped his arm again and threw your head back in laughter. He just fondly smiled, lowering his head down to kiss you on the cheek, and then he carried you into the kitchen. The other guys seemed to also have decorated the kitchen because beautiful fairy lights were hung over the stoves, and some more decoration, including a mistletoe, was placed perfect. When hyunjin stopped under the mistletoe you started shaking your head. „No jinnie don‘t. Please, that‘s so cheesy,don‘t do it.“ You whined, knowing exactly he would in fact do it.He grinned and asked „May i?“ He didn‘t wait for an answer, he just softly laid his lips on yours, the kiss so tender like always. Both of you closed your eyes, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. After a while you slowly pulled away, and he murmured a soft „love you my muse“. You hid your face in the crook of his neck, smiling. „Love you too hyunnie“ your words were muffled against his sweater, but he didn‘t mind. He wouldn‘t want to be anywhere else in the world right now.

You went into the kitchen, and hyunjin let you down. You started preparing everything for gingerbread, and soon christmas songs were filling the air. With the fairy lights on, everything was tinted in a soft, cozy glow.

As you were just done with the dough and had placed it to rest somewhere ‘all i want for christmas‘ started playing. „Oh my favorite christmas song.“ He chimed, preparing a spoon as a microphone. You looked at him in shock. „Sorry what?? Don‘t tell me we are together for literally six years, and i had no idea that your favorite christmas song is all i want for christmas. How can you have these muscles, and act all flirty but suddenly be like a lovesick teeny girl?“

A endearing pout played on his lips. „It‘s a classical, don‘t judge me!“ You sighed but started giggling. As the refrain of the song came, hyunjin threw his hair back (Nuh uh seriously, who was this diva?) and he began to loudly sing into the spoon. You laughed, but couldn‘t resist him. You grabbed a spoon toom, and put it up to your mouth, singing along with him. He then wrapped his one arm around your waist, and with the other one he held his ‘microphone‘ , singing „All i want for christmasss is youuuuu“ And then pointing at you. You started dancing around together too. In a little clumsy pirouette move, where you would never think this man was a professional dancer, Hyunjin accidentally threw a bag of flour off the stove. In only a few seconds you both and the whole floor were coated in a thick layer of flour. For a moment you were both flabbergasted, but soon you bursted out laughing, and hyunjin just kept singing like it was nothing. This whole moment felt so heartwarming and silly, you just knew this was one of those moments you would still think of in twenty years. Hyunjin ended his little concert with one more time singing the refrain line and then he picked you up and swirled you around, the flour flying around in the air. You squealed, not expecting it, wich only made him chuckle. As he let you down again, he pulled you close again, pressing a kiss to your forehead, not caring that now flour was on his lips.„I love you so much.“

You giggled, wrapping your arms around him, so now you were both wrapped up tightly in each others embrace, not caring about the fact that you were just distributing the flour even more.

„You said that so often today.“

„Yes because i never ever want you to forget it, alright love?“ he held you jut a bit tighter, and you felt his nose nuzzling against your neck.

„alright.“

„Good. Let‘s just stay like this for a little while longer? You look cute in flour.“

„As long as you want to.“ you smiled softly and laid your head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

After a while the flour got a bit itchy though, you both had to admit. So you went into your room, getting some clothes for you and hyunjin, while he went into the bathroom to run a bath. You took your matching christmas pajamas, the fluffy one with gingerbread men on it. As you came into the bathroom, hyunjin was turning on the water, putting some of your favorite cinammon-bath salt in it. He had also lit some candles, and turned off the big light, so the whole bathroom was tinted in golden light. You both undressed, and you stepped into the tub first, sitting down at the end of it. Hyunjin waited and raised a brow. „Don‘t you want me to sit behind you like usual? You always like when i massage your scalp, or your tense shoulders“ You gently smiled up to him. „Today i‘m gonna do all that for you. It was so wonderful to just forget everything today, and with the christmas market and the snow, everything was just perfect. But you‘re still my sick baby. So sit down, today it‘s me who is gonna massage your scalp.“ Hyunjin‘s eyes filled with tears, and a fond smile crept up to his lips. He got into the bathtub too, sitting down between your legs, like you usually did with him. You soon gently started to run your fingers through his hair, and he closed his eyes, cherishing the feeling. After a while you felt his muscles completely relax, and his breathing get slow and steady, almost like his body was melting into yours. You held him tight, one hand still in his hair, and from time to time you kissed his shoulder, like he always did to you.

After a while when you almost thought he had fallen asleep he murmured: „The water‘s getting cold.“

You hummed. „Let‘s get out, and get you to sleep jinnie.“

„But the gingerbread.“ He mumbled, but his eyes were already closed. You smiled and he whined as you got up and out of the tub. „We can still make the little gingerbread men, and ferrets and whatever you want, tomorrow.“ You took a fluffy towel, and wrapped it around yourself. Then you got another one, and tried dragging hyunjin out of the water.

„But then it‘s already christmas day. That‘s against the rules my lady.“ You chuckled at his sleepy confused mumbling. „We are making our own rules.“ You took the towel and slowy dried him off. Then you softly pushed him down to sit on the bathtub edge and put him on his pajamas. „You are taking care of me so well love… Never gonna stop loving you, i‘ll protect my muse at all costs, even when i‘m not physically with you anymore.“ He mumbled, so incoherent and sleep drunken you almost didn‘t understand it. „I know jinnie, i know. Now let‘s get you to bed, hm?“ He whined, and after you quickly put on your own pajamas too, you helped him get up and you both went to bed. As he laid down, you pulled the comforter up to his chin, lovingly stroking his hair. Then you got into bed too, closing your eyes. When you were already at the edge of sleep you suddenly heard hyunjin speak up again. „Y/n?“

„Hmm?“ „Please say it back“

„What are you talking bout.“

„That you love me. I‘m so tired already, but somehow i feel like i won‘t fall asleep if you don‘t say it.“

If you would have thought about that, maybe you could have somewhere already thought that it was coming. Hyunjin‘s pure soul was bracing itself for something, as if he knew.

„I love you. Forever and ever.“

And then you both drifted off.

When you woke up, you didn‘t immediately open your eyes. But you knew. You felt it. You could never describe this feeling, or how you would know, but you had no doubt your hyunjin was somewhere else now. Somewhere far away. And when you finally did open your eyes you took a second to breathe in. You slowly sat up and braced yourself. Then you looked to your side. There he was, looking like he was sleeping peacefully. You didn‘t know if you were imagining that or if it was real but it seemed like even a small smile was laying on his lips. You were oddly calm, as you stood up, and walked around to hyunjin‘s side.

You crouched down next to the bed, and with a slight tremble you took his hand in yours. It was still a bit warm. You pressed a kiss to it, as a silent tear rolled down your cheek. „Hey hyunnie. I don‘t know if you can hear me, but i just want to tell you that i love you okay? Don‘t forget that. And i hope you weren‘t in pain when it happened. Just know that you can peacefully go wherever you are supposed to go now. It‘s okay for me. I will continue living, also if the pain of your absence will daily remind me of the fact that you aren‘t with me anymore. But that‘s okay. I thought that this pain is the worst, but it makes me remember you, and that‘s what i want to do for the rest of my life, so actually i will be okay with it. That day yesterday was really a perfect day, as you said. I guess somehow our souls knew that soon they would have to say goodbye to each other. It helped me realize that when you die i won‘t have to act all strong, and feel like suffocating when i‘m alone. Oh by the way, i‘ll call the guys soon, and tell them. Then i‘ll bake our gingerbreadmen okay? And i‘ll be taking good care of mini jinnie, so you don‘t have to worry about him and his little scarf.“ You smiled through the tears running down your cheeks, that were silently landing on the bed next to hyunjin.

„So hyunnie, i bet you are wating for me to finish my dramatic boring speech so you can finally go in peace, hm? I wish you merry christmas my one and only love.“ You kissed his hand tenderly for the last time, a single little tear dripping down onto it.

Taglist: @0omillo0 @lina-linny @darqlys

@onementally-unstabel-kid @idek6758 @sadie-tucker @kozumesphone

@urlocalmultigroupfan @thoughtfularbiternightmare @lezleeferguson-120

@stayblrofficial hello this is my submission for the stayblrholiday event! For some reason I can’t send y’all the link but yeah I hope tagging is okay too!<3

[potterblog]

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A majority of this server's members are pro-Ron and pro-Draco, pro-Dumbledore, pro-Weasleys, pro-Snape and pro-Marauders, pro-Romione, and supportive towards other ships like Hinny, Lucissa, Drarry, Drastoria, Drinny, Dron, Ronarry, Tomarry, Nevannah, Panville, Drastoria, Romionarry, Dronmione, Dronarry, Percy/Audrey, all canon ships, all HP rare pairs, etc, and we are slash-friendly, femslash-friendly, darkfic-friendly, dark-ship-friendly, OC-fic-friendly, canon-friendly, AU-friendly, gen-fic-friendly, multiship-friendly, Next-Gen-friendly, and so on! And many writers and readers here are open to discovering and appreciating new rare ships, especially for lesser-known side characters in HP! So if you'd like to join our server, if there are any particular characters and ships that you dislike, that's okay but please don't aggressively bash or invalidate anyone's favorite ships, characters, ideas, etc, in negative ways that shut down conversations in the server! (And don't bash canon either please!) We welcome members sharing & writing fanfics with complex characterizations of HP characters including fics with dark, negative, toxic, or evil AU character portrayals compared to canon, but we're not as interested in character-bashing fics from those who dislike HP canon and genuinely hate certain canon characters like any of the Weasleys, Slytherins, Dumbledore, etc, without being able to acknowledge that all humans are complex, flawed, and have the ability to grow and change over time (for the better or the worse).

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[jeonjaemark]

snowy nights & snowball fights || kwon soonyoung

content warning: sexual themes, MDNI, thigh riding, competition, not really edited so there can be errors || masterlist

i peer around my snow fort scanning around area. the air blew lightly across the open field making me shiver. the white snow covering the banks of our ground and everything around us. i glance back at the well lighted cabin behind me. muffled sounds of cheers and scream at the game on tv from those who have been eliminated long ago.

mingyu taps my shoulder letting me know he is behind me and is ready to run down our routine plan to capture the other team’s flag. i nod looking at him and he runs out onto the field.

multiple snowballs come fly out of nowhere. mingyu pivots around the open field trying his best to dodge them. he takes huge leaps making it towards the entrance of the other fort when a giant snowball gets hurled out of nowhere . mingyu tries to spin out of the way only to get hit right in the lower back. mingyu falls dramatically to the ground and i scream at my loss. soonyoung laughs from the other side watching mingyu walk off and head back into the warm cabin.

“kwon soonyoung!” i shouted out of annoyance.

“looks like you lost your best player.” he teases

“don’t celebrate your win just yet.” i scoffed. “you still have to get past me for your victory.

“that’s a piece of cake.” he chimes with pride.

soonyoung walks back over to the other side of the fort which gives me the chance to run over and try to steal their flag. while he was busy scanning the area for any potential threats i manage to get o their fort and spot the flag. as i make a run for it, i heard heavy footsteps behind me. i turn around my breath heavy and visible in the cold winter weather.

soonyoung draws his hand back ready to toss the snowball at me but i throw my hands up to protect myself, “soonie! wait! don’t eliminate me yet!”

“why shouldn’t i? my team is about to win!” his tone confident but his smile drips with pride and smugness.

i glance behind soonyoung noticing the blue flag has been left unguarded on the other side of where we were standing. i needed to get the flag without him noticing me. there was no way i was going to plead my way out of this like my life depended on it with tears and pity. soonyoung would see right through me. i needed to try a different strategy.

“you know, it’s just the two of us. we could make this a little interesting.

“seducing me won’t get you anywhere.”

“really? cause last i checked you were fine with me seducing you the other night so you could get an early christmas gift.” i clicked my tongue, “i believe you got four gifts the other night, if i remember correctly.”

“okay correction, seducing me won’t get you to win this snowball fight.”

“soonie, i am offended that you think i need to seduce in order to win or get my way but i’ll let it slide. do you want to know what i am thinking?”

“what are you thinking about?”

“how much i love your competitive side. i never liked an easy one and i can always count on you to play hard and fair with me.” i stepping close enough to look up at him under my lashes.

i remove my gloves caressing my hand against his cheek. i lean up peppering a few kisses against his lips before moving down to his neck. lightly tugging and nipping at the cool flesh. i could feel his pulse rushing under my mouth. the way his breath hitches when i slowly trail down to his collarbone.

“if you only knew…” i murmur between each kiss. “what your competitive streak does to me.”

soonyoung tightens his grip at my hips, a groan escaping at my sultry tone. i chuckle at his reaction sliding my hand to the other side of his neck. my body pressed against his for warmth.

“you know how many times i had to hold back and remind myself that we are not teammates but rivals. it kind of feeds the fantasies in my head.”

“what fantasies?” he questioned suspiciously. his hand quivers and i could see the curiosity mixed with hesitancy in his eyes.

“don’t ask questions you’re not ready to hear the answer to, my love.” i whispered into his ear. “but if you must know, how about i show you instead of telling you.”

my fingers gently trail to the zipper of his jacket. i push him back onto a bench behind him. his body falling back and i kick his legs open. i bend down in front of him unzipping my jacket. his eyes meet mine before skimming down to a glimpse of my breast. his eyes darken with lust and his exhales a sharp breath when i straddle one of his thighs. i pull him to me smashing my lips against his with need and passion.

i slowly grind my core onto his thigh trying to gain some friction. he slides his hands to my waist holding me firm while i continue to get off on his thigh. he leans his head closer to mine softly teasing his lips against my neck. when a groan escapes my lips i feel the corners of his mouth rise in approve over my noise. when i tried to dig deeper into him, he starts bounces his leg adding to pressure. my inside go from warm to burning hot liquid at the action. fuck. this felt more like punishment for me than for him.

“are you enjoying yourself my love?” his voice raspy and deep, lost in lust.

“y-yes, f-feels so fucking g-good.” i gasped as his bounced his leg even faster hitting my core even harder than before. i could feel a boiling sensation in my stomach.

“if you like my thigh so much, imagine what my fingers and mouth could be doing to you right now.” he whispers into my ear. “or maybe i should just go straight to the main event and skip my fingers and mouth.”

the mental imagine of his head between my thighs sends shivers down my skin or the thought of how he slams his hips into mine making my body jolt up from his harsh but pleasing movements. my mind begins to swirl wanting more of him. soonyoung presses his hands harder in my hips grinding me even more. his lips nipping even harder at the flesh of my skin. i press my hand to the back of his head as soft moans slip from my mouth encouraging him to keep going. my other free hand reaches behind us to grab the blue flag. the moment i felt the cold fabric and stick, i yank it from its spot and quickly retreat back away from him.

“i win!” i cheered. “you guys can come out out now!” mingyu, jeonghan, seungkwan and chan all run out from the house.

soonyoung stares back at me in awe and shock over what just happened. i wave the flag around with my teammates. jun, josh, seungcheol and seokmin walk out giving soonyoung a pat on the back.

“we won! we won! we won!” my team cheers and i break away from them to walk to soonyoung.

“baby! you cheated?” soonyoung whines, crossing his arms.

“it’s not cheating when you also comply. i am pretty sure it was your lips kissing me back earlier.” i winked. “don’t hate the player, hate the game.” 

[goddessinnerglow]

Become Your Best Version Before 2025 - Day 21

Overcoming Fear & Self-Doubt

Hello Goddesses! After exploring confidence-building yesterday, it feels natural to talk about something we all face but often keep hidden, those annoying fears and self-doubts that can hold us back. You know those moments when you really want to do something, but that inner voice starts listing all the reasons why you shouldn't?

Let's get real about this, everyone, even the people who seem to have it all figured out, deals with fear and self-doubt. The difference isn't in not having these feelings; it's in how we work with them.

Think of fear and self-doubt like clouds passing through the sky. They might block the sun temporarily, but they're not permanent. The sun: your potential, your dreams, your capabilities, is always there behind them.

Here's how to start moving forward, even when those doubts feel heavy:

The "Name It to Tame It" approach is incredibly powerful. When you catch yourself in a spiral of doubt, pause and name exactly what you're afraid of. Sometimes just saying "I'm afraid of failing" or "I'm doubting my abilities" can take away some of its power. It's like turning on the light and realizing the shadow wasn't as scary as it seemed.

Try this simple but effective technique: When self-doubt creeps in, ask yourself, "What would I tell my best friend if they were in this situation?" We're often much kinder and wiser when advising others than when talking to ourselves.

Remember the confidence-building steps we discussed yesterday? Here's where they become your secret weapon. Each small win, each tiny step forward, becomes evidence that you can handle more than your fears suggest.

A game-changing practice is keeping a "Fear vs. Reality" journal. When you're worried about something, write down what you think might happen. Then, after the event, write down what actually happened. Over time, you'll notice that our fears often paint a much scarier picture than reality.

Here's something not many people talk about: You don't need to eliminate fear or self-doubt completely. Sometimes they're trying to tell you something important. The goal is to acknowledge them while not letting them make your decisions for you.

When you're faced with self-doubt, try this: Take one tiny action. Just one. Maybe you're doubting your creative abilities, draw one simple sketch. Worried about starting that project? Write one sentence. Scared to start exercising? Put on your workout clothes and walk for five minutes.

The beautiful thing about working through fear and self-doubt is that each small step makes the next one a little easier. You're not just moving forward; you're building resilience and self-trust along the way.

The magic happens when we learn to take action WHILE being scared, instead of waiting for the fear to go away first. It's like walking in the rain instead of waiting for the perfect sunny day!

Did you think I was going to let you leave without homework? For today, notice one fear that's been bugging you lately. Don't try to fix it or fight it, just notice it with kindness. Sometimes just acknowledging our fears with compassion makes them feel less powerful.

See you tomorrow for Day 22!

♡ ☆:.｡ Keep glowing, babes! ♡ ☆:.｡ With love, Goddess Inner Glow.

[yuvany]

CHRITSMAS TREE SHOPPING // ENHYPEN

OT7 ENHYPEN x f !reader contains : est relationship + not ptoofread // no cw !! 𝐰𝐜: 1.2k

─── ( on point ) this is promt nr.12 for @cupidhoons seaon of romance event !! such a fun idea and I enjoyed writing this a lot.

NOTE : finally back and posting... enjoy ? I hope

reblogs are always appreciated !!

𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚

going shopping with him sometimes felt more like a task, especially when it was time for holidays. Heeseung becomes competative and fierce because if he really wants something, he'll fight for it - even when you're his girlfriend. On the walk over to the christmas tree market, you could feel the intensity radiating off him, and you start to get worried, because well, it's only a tree, right? Wrong. "What tree do you wanna get?" You ask your boyfriend who was holding your hand in his that was cosily in his pocket. "I really want a classic green, and you, babe?" He asked, and you felt his eyes on you. "I wanna try white one this year!" Upon hearing that, Heeseung purses his lips. "White?" "yes! have you not seen those pinterest posts?" At this point, the two of you have stopped walking, and were blocking the way, going back and forth on what colour was the best. "Will you agree if I give you a kiss?" you say at least, and he replies, "One won't be enough. How about a hundred more, mm?"

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚

Jay doesn't seem like the type to be very picky when it comes to choosing stuff, he only wanted to know what you were interested in. "Have any plans for Christmas?" He asked you, walking beside you on the side walk that hardly looked any different from the road where cars drove by, their window swipers shoving the snow away from the glass. "Actually, no idea." Jay sweats, because what are two clueless lovers supposed to do in a market? "What do you think?" You asked your boyfriend, He clears his throat and pullls out his phone. This motivates you to continue picking on him the whole walk there. "I don't know either, babe." He admits at last. "We gotta YOLO it I suppose, let's hurry, I wanna look at the trees!" You say and pull him behind you. Even though you didn't know what you wanted to buy, you somehow knew what you did not like. "This one is pretty." Jay said, pointing at a dark green coloured one. "we for sure have different tastes." You comment with a scowl.

𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡

Jake wants to find the perfect christmas tree, a tree where he can place all the presents he had bought for you. The market was filled with trees ranging of different heights and colours, you did not really care what tree you guys would carry home at the end of the day, but Jake was running around the place with you on his tail. "babe, calm down!" You call out, your legs almost giving up on you. "Hurry! look at that one!" He says, stopping only to tell you to keep up with him. You heave a sigh and stomp your feet, frustrated. "c'mon..." Jake moops, his palms on your shoulders. "Just pick a tree, you're not an expert." You groan, and Jake shakes his head. "But we need to find the perfect tree. I'm not leaving until we find the one." "Just pick any one, the decorations will make the tree pretty." You argue, your head finding his chest as exhaustion catches up to you.

𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙆 𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙂𝙃𝙊𝙊𝙉

It's been hours of walking around the place, and the both of you could not agree on one tree that the both of you found pretty. At first he said he didn't care, but gradually he revealed his real demeanour. "But you said I could pick whichever one!" You whine, and Sunghoon shoves his hands into his pockets cluelessly. "What do you mean, sweetie? I did not say that." Sunghoon lied. You shake your head at his words, feeling betrayed by the one you thought you could trust the most. "It's just a tree, hoonie, and you can't take back a promise. We pinky promised." Sunghoon remembers this vividly and winces as he tries to make an excuse, but he can't find one that'll satisfy the both of you. "Sure, go ahead. I did promise you, lovely." He walks towards you and wraps an arm around your shoulders. "Do you really want this brown, poop-coloured tree?" "I was actualy joking with you." You admit.

𝗞𝗜𝗠 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢

Sunoo is a perfectionist, but he also loves you. You had walked up to a classic tree that had that traditional musky colour, the scent of freshly cut wood and the aroma of chirstmas making its way through the market. Something classic could never go wrong, right? That's what you thought at least until you look over your shoulder to get Sunoo's opinion. Upon the sight of his raised eyebrow, crossed arms as he tapped his boot against the thinly covered ground, you start to second guess. "Babe, what do you think of this?" You ask with hesitation. He lets out a hum, "It's alright, I suppose." You shurg his reaction off, and turn to look to the next tree due to his reaction. He sees this, and gets ahold of your shoulder. "Why did you continue looking? Didn't you want this one?" He asks, and you shrug. "I mean, it didn't seem like you liked it." You explained. "I mean, as long as I get to decorate it, I'm fine with anything." Sunoo reassures, and you chuckle.

𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡

He could not care less about what tree would be carried home that eveing, he just wanted to tease you. Whenever you suggested a tree, he'd turn down the option. It came to the point where you were pointing at every christmas tree that you passed and he'd still shake his head.Your legs began to get tired and you stood in place in front of a classic short tree and pointed at it. "What about this one then?" You asked him with an eyebrow cocked upwards. Jungwon had his fingers around his chin as he was mocking a stance deep in thought. "Are you sure about this one?" He asked. "Goodness, this is the last one in this place and the one you haven't said no to. Go pick one for yourself." You sighed and Jungwon combed his hair back upon seeing your tired state. "babe, I was just teasing, get whichever one you want and decoration, and I'll pay." He offers with a hand cupping your cheek.

𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗠𝗨𝗥𝗔 𝗥𝗜𝗞𝗜

"What do you think of this one?" you asked, trying to find at least one tree that the two of you could agree on. "Can't you see that it has too many branches?" Riki judges, and you can't believe how childish he is being. "That one is the perfect one," he continues, pointing at a tree in the distance. "Are you really sure, because I find that it is very ugly. no offence." You sass, looking at the too tall tree. You feel his sharp gaze judge you, but you only giggle at this, knowing you managed to tick him off. "So... what do you wanna do?" You asked him, nudging your shoulder with his. "Obviously that tree." Riki looks over at the one he was insisiting on bringing home. "Lets settle this with rock paper scissor." You challenged him, and he eagerly nodded. "Rock, paper scissor..." He counted down, and you played a paper, and he did a scissor, resulting in his victory. "You were just lucky this time." You sulk.

TAGLIST : @dollyhoon @itjengirl @saeivra @orimuraa @pshwrldd

[sulumuns-dootah]

21. 12. Beleth - Firewood

      ༺☆༻

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

⋆꙳·❅‧The Yule festival of Hell 2‧❆ ₊⋆

A/N: The longest paragraph in this one is about Beleth's ass... Merry Christmas, you're welcome :D

      ༺☆༻

The cabin in mountains was perfect. A perfect place for your getaway with Beleth and Belphegor, who you're not even sure, knew about the whole thing.

“So, we've got everything we need...” Beleth comes into the main - and only room of downstairs after dropping the king off into the bed in one of the bedrooms upstairs.

“Uh... I don't think there might be enough firewood to last us even the night. “ you anxiously look at the rather small pile of wood by the grand fireplace. For some reason, despite knowing that there's no way you'll freeze to death, you still felt uneasy.

“Huh..? Wait, lemme start the fire and I'll tell ya.” the fallen angel looks in the same direction as you. After a short pause he kisses your cheek and strides towards the pitch black hole in the wall, getting down on his knees.

To put your mind at ease, you turn around to inspect the contents of the fridge, which should be full of food as the brochure advertised. And it really is. Somehow, it's even filled with all the snacks and drinks you like.

Behind you, you can hear the floor creak as well as a few grunts from Beleth. You look back at him a few times and no wonder he's grunting so much. Those tight pants have to be uncomfortably cutting into his muscles. Or so you guess from how skin tight they are in the position he's in. Too bad you have your phone in your bag upstairs currently, because the sight in front of you could rival even Sitri's and Zagan's ass.

“Yeah...you're right. Won't even last until sunset.” Beleth suddenly gets up and turns around to look at you like he can exactly read your mind.

“I uh... The owner said something about logs outside..?” you try to act natural, but your pink cheeks betray you.

“Hm? Guess you better go chop some then!” the fallen angel looks at you deadly serious.

You whole body freezes and you can't help but look at the tall demon like a deer in a headlights. He wants you??? to chop??? the wood? When you can't even measure up to his strength???

Beleth holds your eye contact for a few seconds and then his head falls back as he starts laughing, “Aw, didya really thought I'd have ya do that, toots?”

“Beleth!” you angrily whine and hit the demon on one of his pecs when he continues to laugh at your embarrassment for a bit too long.

“Real sorry, sugar.” still laughing, he winks at you and lightly slaps your ass before shedding his blazer and leaving the cabin to prepare some more firewood.

Still angry at him, you walk to the window so you can glare at him as he's working, but your glare completely disappears from your face once you see how tightly his shirt hugs his muscles as he swings the heavy axe around.

      ༺☆༻

But wait, this demon also has a gift for you!

"I keep wonderin' how'd ya look like with a halo, angel. Good thing I happen to have one on hand right here!"

[possibilistfanfiction]

for the caitvi prompts: university

been really enjoying the light heartedness lol

[a little backstory! v cute! we love them! fits in this little au here & here, also now up on ao3 if that's a better place to stay organized w them lol]

//

it’s your favorite kind of day outside, gloomy and rainy without being freezing cold. cait holds your hand without asking today, which makes you smile into her shoulder and you kind of hate it, the butterflies that you’d assumed you were too old and too fucked up for, but you’re also, just, thankful. you’d climbed together this morning at the gym closest to your apartment, which is a little smaller and older than the one closer to cait’s, but she always compliments the route setting and is friendly with the staff, enjoying your friends’ happy teasing that of course you’re on a date climbing, vi. she loves it just as much as you do, so the embarrassment, at least in that way, has faded.

but still, you had showered back at your apartment together, changed, and are walking, even with her pouting about how the drizzle will make her hair frizzy, around the old buildings of the university campus nearby, wandering until it’s time to meet jinx, jayce, and viktor for lunch. it’s a date-date, it occurs to you, your third official one, even though it’s just barely noon and cait is in a simple turtleneck, a practical raincoat, and pair of jeans, rather than anything fancy: you’re getting to know her, to learn her, to listen and encourage and laugh and, quite literally, catch her when she falls.

you acquiesce to her pouting eventually — jinx teases you all the time for it, but her eyes are so blue and she’s so pretty — so you duck into jinx’s favorite coffee shop and get her a warm, honey and mint tea for the rest of your stroll. she smiles into the steam, then up at you, and it’s really, terrifyingly easy to kiss her while you hope, a little tug in your chest, that the days continue on and on like this.

‘did you study at university?’ she asks, sipping her tea once it’s cooled down. she says it conversationally, like she genuinely wants to know, but still, you scoff.

‘what makes you think someone like me went to school?’

‘well,’ she says, never one to back down, ‘your sister attends university, and also you’re quite smart.’

jinx and vander and your therapist are always on you about accepting compliments, leaning into the way people see you now: kind, competent, responsible, intelligent. you try to let this one sink in, to trust that caitlyn will still see you as those things after you tell her. you tug her to a bench under a pretty awning covered in ivy. ‘thank you.’

she hums.

‘i — i got my GED when i was incarcerated,’ you say, the simplest way to go about it. if things go bad, at least jinx is close by and would probably be more than happy to ditch her class; you could make an escape.

‘oh,’ caitlyn says and is quiet for one of the most frightening moments of your life; her face is calm and doesn’t give anything away. ‘i hate prisons,’ she says, finally, which abruptly makes you laugh, one hard bark of a thing. she squeezes your hand and smiles. ‘i am glad they offered that program for you, at least.’

‘i — whew,’ is all you can really say, breathing into the bottom of your spine like you help jinx practice when she’s feeling really overwhelmed. your eyes prick with tears and you duck to wipe them away. caitlyn allows you this, but when you get it together a little bit and lift your chin, she’s looking at you with curiosity and very distinct admiration, not pity or disgust, and you might start crying all over again. ‘i — sorry i waited to tell you, or whatever.’

‘there’s no need to apologize,’ she says, then frowns. ‘but did i do anything to make you think that might be a problem for me?’

you sigh and then gesture to the gorgeous, huge building across the courtyard. ‘your last name is on the library right there.’

‘ah.’

‘yeah.’

‘well, i am much more than my last name,’ she says, puffing out her chest a little in defiance, and very clearly you think i love you. it’s not the time, but you’ll remember it as the years go on. ‘and even with it, my mother has advocated for years for policy and programs to shorten or eliminate prison sentences, and social supports to decrease recidivism rates.’ you know this, objectively, but caitlyn’s mom might be the scariest person you’ve ever had to even think about meeting. ‘which i don’t think is nearly enough, by the way.’

she stops herself from going on a longer rant, turning to face you fully with a smile, a cold hand coming to brush the scar on your lip and hold your jaw in its palm.

‘i know you, violet.’ as simple as that. ‘would you like to tell me more about any of it?’

you don’t, not really, because you never talk about it if you don’t have to, but some of the things you experienced, things you were forced to experience, still color the worst of your days. so you tell her some of it, at least: how you were only seventeen but sentenced to an adult prison, with an agonizingly long six years of an adult sentence, for theft and assault felonies, some of which didn’t even happen. you tell her about how you had to ration food — she hums in some kind of present understanding; it dawns on you that she’s probably noticed you’re always hungry, that it feels an impossible feat to eat seconds, even if there’s plenty — and about how you were in a lot of fights. sometimes it was because you had to, to protect yourself, and sometimes it was just because you were angry, because you got the shit beat out of you constantly, because you spent at least half your time in solitary, because a scar through your brow or the needles and ink pressed into your skin was better than the horrible, terrifying nothingness. you got so, so strong because it wasn’t safe, physically or in your own mind, to be anything otherwise.

‘my sister is the only thing that kept me going, sometimes.’

cait sniffles, wipes her nose with a shy smile, a little embarrassed to be crying at your story, but you love her all the more for her empathy. ‘it’s clear to everyone how much you care for her.’

‘when i got out, she was — well, the details are hers to share,’ you say, not wanting to overstep. ‘she has some pretty severe mental health stuff, and it was bad. my dad pulled some strings and got me into the fire academy, though, and i was able to get a place for us to stay together and get her some real help.’

‘it seems, at least to me, like you’ve worked incredibly hard to build the two of you a really beautiful life, vi.’ when you nod, she leans forward to kiss you, softly and tenderly, a reassurance, an offering, a balm. ‘i’m quite lucky to be included in it.’

‘we’re lucky to have you.’ your voice is thick with tears but it’s worth saying anyway. ‘even if jinx is a brat about it sometimes.’

caitlyn laughs, unfazed.

‘that’s just her countenance,’ you say. ‘i’m glad you’re smart enough to not take it personal.’

‘i’m brilliant,’ she agrees, ‘even for a kiramman.’

you roll your eyes, groan appropriately. ‘hey,’ you say, squeezing her hand before you stand, your lunch time looming. ‘thank you.’

‘you must know by now, violet, that i am quite fond of you.’

‘i — yeah, i do. still, sometimes this — it changes things for people.’

she nods, assenting easily. ‘it only makes me care for you, and admire you, more, if anything.’

‘jinx is never going to let me hear the end of it if i’m actively crying when we walk in there, cupcake.’

caitlyn just laughs and pulls you in for another kiss. it’s raining harder now — you’ll have to dash through it — but the awning protects you for now, and there’s some kind of home in the warmth of her mouth.

[karasuno-planet]

Hi can i request a love triangle between Tanaka and nishinoya where the reader is a manager whose really sweet, the rest of the details is up to you. I'm also a big fan of your work!

a/n: wowowow it's been forever since I've written on here but it's winter break and I saw this request and want to revive the blog :) sorry it took me so long and thanks for reading! (fyi I am really in the mood to write for noya so if you have any requests plz send them my way!)

wc: 930

genre: just silly fluff

fem!manager!reader x noya and tanaka

Anything To Impress You

(gif not mine)

The Karasuno boy's volleyball team certainly never failed to make an impression. In fact, in hindsight Kiyoko's confusing words as you accepted to come along with her to learn about possibly becoming a team manager were really a much needed warning. As you walked into the gym for the first time, practically glued to Kiyoko's side, the boys seemed very nice at first, and honestly, a little timid. That is, until a little spikey-haired boy and his loud accomplice came walking in holding armfuls of volleyballs, until they suddenly were dropped to the gym floor along with the boys jaws.

"A new girl, really??" The spikey-haired boy exclaimed.

"Fresh blood!!"

Then they approached you like they had never seen a girl before, eyes wide and mouths wide open, pushing each other to try to introduce themselves first.

"Nishinoya Yuu! Guardian deity of this team, but you can call me-"

"Tanaka Ryunosuke!!"

Just as you were gathering yourself to speak, Kiyoko hushed them. "Behave yourselves.."

And just like that, they stood up straight, quieted down, pressed four fingers to their foreheads to salute Kiyoko and return to the rest of the team. But they had already found out everything they needed to know from your sweet demeanor and your failure to immediately shut them down. As they left, you caught Nishinoya mumbling "No promises.."

⚡︎⚡︎⚡︎

That was only the beginning of the competition. Once they learned your name, it was about every other word from their mouths.

"Y/N! Did you see that kill?!"

"Not as impressive as my serve receive... wait wait! Does Y/n know rolling thunder??"

And it was commonplace for them to try to keep you after practice for as long as they could. They'd volunteer to help you put the net away, and as soon as you knew it Tanaka's arm was slung around your shoulder, "So it's about time someone told you about your welcome-to-the-team party."

"What?" You looked at him, confused.

"You know, your welcome party. We always have those... Anyways, it's this weekend, at Noya's house."

Suddenly Kageyama scoffed as he finished picking volleyballs up off the court, "Do not go to either of their houses.."

Noya pouted, "C'mon man!! You're no fun. And no longer invited!"

Kageyama ignored him while Tanaka chuckled, "Fine, you caught us, no party...at least come get ice cream with us tonight?"

They turned and looked at you with pleading eyes, as if the teenage boys in front of you were convinced they were puppy dogs. But you didn't really have the heart to turn them down for something as small as ice cream, "Sure."

They lit up, throwing their bags together and getting out of the gym doors as fast as they possibly could, conveniently turning the lights off on Kageyama as they left.

After they finished fighting over who got to pay for your ice cream (They split it after realizing neither of them brought very much money), the night was relatively peaceful. Sure they spoke over each other, but whenever you had something to say they quieted as if listening to a sacred whisper, and kicked each other incessantly under the table when they wanted the other to shut up to ask you something else about yourself. They wanted to know everything.

⚡︎⚡︎⚡︎

Since the night you spent with them, their treatment towards you has only become more pronounced. You saw them in the hallways at school, even trying to catch your attention through the window when they passed by the classes you were in, and you knew they were bragging to the rest of the team about the attention you gave them.

They wrote cheeky messages on your locker in dry-erase marker, signing their initials underneath in case you were to suspect anyone else. And when you went along with the team for away games, they were downright vicious to any guy that looked your way.

"Did you see that idiot Loserkawa looking at y/n today?" Tanaka grumbled after a tournament match they played while Aoba Johsai played on the next court over.

"Tsk, least he didn't try anything. That's for the the better I think, y/n likes short guys anyways," Noya bragged.

"WHAT? That's not true! She never said that!"

"Did too! I totally heard it!"

"Well- Well I heard she likes guys with reaaal short hair... what do you think of that Noya?" Tanaka ran his hands through Nishinoya's hair, making a buzzing sound.

Sugawara laughed, "Don't joke about buzzing his hair- he might just do it.."

"And run the risk of looking like Tanaka? No way!"

While overhearing this conversation, you silently exhale after hearing Noya deny that he was going to buzz his hair. How ridiculous would it be to see them both running around like that...

⚡︎⚡︎⚡︎

As you walked to practice the next day, your attention was immediately grabbed by the sounds of muffled laughter coming from the gym and Asahi standing outside.

"Warning before you go in, y/n, Noya and Tanaka have, um... 'something real important' to confess to you?"

"Oh, uh, thanks Asahi," You say as you walk in, admittedly a little nervous. What could they have to say to you that causes such a commotion? Asahi clearly looked uncomfortable.

Upon your entrance, everyone quieted and Noya and Tanaka stood up straight, taking a breath and closing their eyes as if they had to work up the courage to speak. Your stomach began to turn, worried about what they could be thinking.

Simultaneously, they opened their eyes and burst out, "WHICH ONE OF US IS BETTER LOOKING??"

"Oh my god."

[masterlist]

[daflangstlairde-art]

"she ain't worth a goddamn in anyone else's hands" 5,334 words

Part 2 of ocean depths

Work Summary:

Nightmare was all, all Killer had. He defined Killer’s entire world. He was the most important thing to Killer. But, just as well, at the end of the day — even if in a very different way — Killer was all Nightmare had. — Being left in the Antivoid is just as much of a torture as you’d imagine. Real torture.

Credits, warnings and additional info on ao3.

—

Killer wasn't sad when first Horror and then Dust ditched their operation.

It didn't happen fast, nor at the same time, but it happened. It wasn't a shock. And he wasn't sad. He wasn't. He wasn't. He couldn't be. 

As he stalked the halls of the dark castle, he felt nothing. 

It was emptier than ever. 

There was no longer Horror to cook warm soup and to splinter wood with a cleaver. He was introduced to some universe of farmboys. He left. He cared for his own universe, which remained alive. 

There was no longer Dust to shadow him because company was better than the emptiness. He was harder for those Stars to convince, but apparently, Underfell admired violence and strength. Apparently, he was being “rehabilitated”. 

And, well! We all know how Nightmare was. He had always been above them. Killer could linger in his company only if allowed. 

There was... nobody. 

Nobody. 

Just massive, spanning walls of dark, cold stone. The rare slits of light only enough to illuminate the particles of dust in the air, really. It was all abandoned. Silent and dead. Empty. 

Desolate. 

Familiar. 

...Haha. Hahahah. 

How funny. 

Killer kept ending up in dead ends. 

—

He sat at the kitchen table. 

He laid down on his bed. 

He wandered the halls.

Emptiness of emptiness of emptiness.

Bored. 

Killer wasn't sad. Killer couldn't be sad. Sadness was... it was a sincere emotion. 

Killer was drowning in the dark, dark depths. 

Killer felt emptier than ever.

It's like he wasn't even real. 

—

“If you don't get your act straight, you’ll keep messing everything up.” Nightmare growled, tentacles holding Killer aloft and pinned to the wall by his throat. 

Missions were boring. It was the same, all the same. Hurting and ruining and sometimes killing. All alone. All repetitive. 

But Killer was Nightmare’s one loyal tool left. The only one. 

Of course the Stars tried to break him too. Of course they offered many things that... probably sounded appealing to others. Like forgiveness, or help, or freedom. 

Killer didn't care about those. Killer didn't care about the Stars. He didn't even know what their deal was! He had never particularly cared, and only really knew the most vague of details. Because none of it mattered to him. 

Nightmare was the only thing that mattered. He was all Killer had. All. 

...And Killer was all Nightmare had left. 

Killer chuckled low, even as the restriction around his throat tightened painfully. 

“Anything for you baby,” he teased, because it drove Nightmare up the wall with annoyance. It earned Killer the prize of pain, just like he wanted it to. He was discovering being provocative and crude made people react hilariously. 

Missions were a fog. He lacked drive, he lacked interest, he lacked attention. On missions, heck, in everyday life, Killer was in a fugue state. 

But he didn't need a brain! He just had to do as told.

Nightmare says kill, you kill. 

—

“Why are you still fighting for him?!” Blue yelled, trying to keep up in parrying each of Killer’s violent slashes. “He doesn't care about you! He– he’s awful to you! I don't understand you!” 

Killer just started laughing in his face. 

Slash, stab, attack and attack and attack. Again, and again, and again and again, repeat upon repeat. 

All the same. All meaningless. All horrible. 

—

“I heard them talking about some ‘Cross’ guy,” Killer mentioned, twirling a knife, its point against his fingertip. 

Nightmare paused in his irritated pacing, and for a moment Killer was sure he would get another “Shut the hell up while I’m thinking” for his generous efforts to help his boss. 

Instead,

“...Cross, huh?” Nightmare hummed, considering. 

—

They beat the Stars to it and now, once again, after weeks and weeks of emptiness, there was finally someone else in the castle. 

And Cross was even fun to poke fun at! 

“What’s got you so angsty?” Killer teased, tailing the guy into the kitchen. 

“Leave me alone,” Cross dismissed him all huffy. He had this stoic attitude going on. Not very fun, except when Killer got it to crack. He was still exploring which buttons gave him the best reactions — honestly, he didn't know much about this Cross guy, and didn't care particularly to learn about his tragic backstory or whatever. 

“I don't think I will,” Killer hummed, as Cross started searching through the cabinets. 

“Is this place just empty?” Cross muttered to himself. 

“Like my soul,” Killer joked. Ah, a classic. 

Cross gave him a flat look and continued searching. “Where is all the food?” 

“Oh the guy who did that left,” Killer replied. 

“Did... food?” Cross turned around to look at him. 

“Yeah, that was his thing,”

“And you... what, don't?” 

Killer shrugged. “Nope, I'm not into it,” he chuckled, and Cross groaned. 

“Why are you like this?” he demanded, exasperated. “Aren't you, I don't know, uh, in a–” and then he seemed to reconsider his words. Frowning. “...What is the deal with you and Nightmare?”

Killer started laughing so hard he teared up.

Cross disregarded him.

—

Knock-knock-knock at the door. Cheerful as ever. Waiting for the multiple locks on the inside to be unlocked, even when Killer could've just used a shortcut right in. That's to signify he’s coming with no violent intent, or whatever. Well. Minor violent intent maybe, haha.

The door opened, and immediately Red grimaced. 

“H–!” 

“DUST!” Red yelled to the inside of the house. “NIGHTMARE’S BITCH IS AT THE DOOR!” 

“What?” called muffled from inside. 

“ONE OF Y’ FUCKIN’ MANIAC FRIENDS!” 

Killer laughed. Maybe someone else would've been hurt. He wasn't. Both of those statements were delightfully true.

—

There was one little problem. A little thorn in Killer’s side. Not enough to change his modus operandi — again, emotionless and uncaring — but enough to be noticeable. Enough to be annoying. 

“Cross, you're in charge of this mission,” Nightmare stated. 

“Yes sir.” 

That thorn was called Cross and Killer might just hate him. 

Before Killer could stop gaping and reply, Nightmare was already gone, leaving them in some random forest (not unusual, not important). 

“Let's go.” Cross turned to walk in some direction for some reason. 

“What– do you know where we are??” Killer sputtered, waving his knife. 

“No.” Cross didn't even look at him, like he was better or something. 

That wouldn't do. 

Killer grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. 

“Then why are you ‘in charge’?” he asked, so very friendly.

“Because I don't fuck off to do whatever I want every time?” Cross raised a brow ridge. Ohohoo, some spunk in him today! “Because I'm an actually good henchman and don't talk back constantly?” 

Oh the nerve of this guy. Heh. Heheheh! Hilarious! 

In fact, Killer was chuckling. He was laughing. He was hysterical. 

“You?” he gasped. “Whatever gets you off, puppet boy!”

Because there were a few easy answers to Cross’ question from awhile ago. 

What was their relationship? Easy. 

Killer was Nightmare’s. His yes-man, his victim, his tool, his loyal toy, his lackey, the only one who stayed. His bitch, to put it oh-so-elegantly. Everybody knew that. 

—

“What have you done with Cross?!” Dream demanded, parrying Killer’s attacks beat for beat. That guy was not to be underestimated, which Killer was admittedly guilty of! What could he say? These positive, soft types never went for the kill — how can you be truly afraid of them? 

It's not like he felt much fear, anyway. That was reserved for a special someone. 

“Horrible things!” Killer exclaimed, laughing. “He's suffering as we speak!” 

“What?!” Dream exclaimed, horrified.

(Cross was probably just sleeping. There wasn't much else to do when you're stuck at the castle and need to pass the time.) 

“Terrible!” Killer nodded, dodging to the side and using the movement to try shanking Dream. It was evaded. 

“Where is he?!” 

“Where do you think?” Killer teased. “Same as always! He's not some treasure to be hidden,” 

“Oh,” Dream was caught off guard by that. Probably wasn't expecting it. That meant he also wasn't expecting the knife Killer stabbed into his shoulder, haha. 

—

Killer’s gotta give it to the Stars. Having experience with Horror and Dust, they retrieved Cross pretty efficiently this time. 

—

Killer’s skull slammed into the wall behind him so hard the pain reverberated through it and echoed throughout his body. He groaned, a gutteral drawn out sound. The tentacle that’d grabbed him by the throat now also lifted him off his feet by it, in that uncomfortable way where Killer’s body dangled and felt like it’s about to drop away from his head. 

“HOW DID THEY KNOW HE WAS HERE?” Nightmare demanded, shoving rage and disgust and fear into Killer’s soul like it's nothing, like it doesn't drown him. 

“How am– I supposed– to know?” Killer choked out, grinning, hands clutching onto the tentacle in a poor attempt to hold himself up a little, to loosen the pressure. He was barely able to think through the onslaught of horror and misery. It was like a diseased, starving, feral animal clawing at his body. Unrelenting with you're horrible disgusting scum you're going to die die die you are going to SUFFER there is no escape you– 

“You useless tool!” Nightmare pulled him away from the hard stone wall, only to slam him against it, and again and again and again until Killer was crying out with the pain. Everything was ringing with the building concussion. It was a little difficult to hear whatever Nightmare was saying through it, pardon Killer’s manners, but it sounded something like “This is your fault, isn't it?!” 

In case it wasn't clear, Nightmare was really pissed. This whole weakening of his forces seemed to be really getting to him. How sad. 

Killer blinked against the shapes swimming in his vision. He could feel that hateful substance trickling, leaking even, from his eyes down his face. Warm. No, it was cold. He could never quite decide. The probably-blood oozing down the back of his skull was certifiably warm, however. 

“That’s very– presumptuous of you–” he struggled out, breathing heavily, breathing through the pain and the merciless barrage of rancid emotions. Grin widening. “I can see you’re– angry, baby– are you hhngh on your period?” 

Nightmare was livid. Killer started laughing, even as there were great efforts being put to choking him out. 

“Shut. Up.” Nightmare said, cold and reverberating off the walls until it surrounds you. He lowered Killer down slowly, but didn't let go of him — it was just so Killer wasn't held aloft anymore, but rather, Nightmare, with all his engulfing darkness, loomed over him. “Need I remind you betrayal. Isn't. Tolerated?” 

Killer couldn't help but snort and cackle at that, past the rancid, cloying smell of death from Nightmare’s general aura.

“Betrayal?” he exclaimed. “Me? Please. You and I both know I'm all you really have.” 

There was the kicker. 

Nightmare was all, all Killer had. He defined Killer’s entire world. He was the most important thing to Killer. 

But, just as well, at the end of the day — even if in a very different way — Killer was all Nightmare had. 

He was the only one truly allied with Nightmare. Not through force or violence or threats, none of that — because he wanted to be. Because Killer was an empty husk of a being and adored the force and the violence and the threats and the fear. A living wound that only exists when it's bleeding. 

Nightmare knew that Killer knew that. But Killer knew that Nightmare knew it too. They both knew where they stood. They both knew Nightmare could leverage whatever suffering he wanted against Killer and that Killer would only enjoy it the worse it is. Killer only did as told when he enjoyed it, because he wanted to. He misbehaved for the very same reason. 

Killer was so ruined through his own fault. There was nowhere further Nightmare could ruin him. Nightmare couldn't hurt him because Killer hurt himself, and Nightmare was just the most intense, most effective, most convenient way to do it. 

That's why Nightmare’s glare narrowed. That's why the tentacle holding Killer’s neck loosened, letting him exhale and inhale deeply. 

“You're not as clever as you think you are, loudmouth.” Nightmare spoke slowly. Promising danger. He always carried out his promises. He was cute like that. 

...Except. 

Except it wasn't what Killer expected. It wasn't sickening, merciless violence. It wasn't choking suffering. It wasn't burning agony. It wasn't animalistic fear. 

It was... white. 

Just white. 

Endless, shapeless white. 

All it took was a moment for Killer to be brought there, and a second one for Nightmare to be gone, and then it was just Killer and the endless white abyss. 

He exhaled, standing amidst it all. It was so much larger than anything that could be conceived, and yet. And yet it was empty. 

Hah. Hahahah. 

Like his soul. 

...It was always... a strange experience. The way the emotion would rise, like a tidal wave. A split second explosion of anger-hate-fear-despair at the devouring vastness, at the fact that he was just ditched there. When Nightmare knew he despised the emptiness. Or, rather, precisely because he knew how much Killer hated it. 

And just as quickly it would be gone. Like a sudden electrical surge that blew out the fuse. And he was numb as ever. All the feelings he may have felt about this just the lingering buzz in the non-air. Only serving to make him even more aware of the nothing that remained, that lingered. 

Killer couldn’t parse whether being stranded in the Antivoid was a worse or better hell than the Void. He supposed it didn’t particularly matter. 

He sat down on the concept of a “ground”. 

He didn’t even have a shadow. It was all empty. It was all nothing. 

He didn’t have the energy to laugh. He laid down, staring up at the whiteness (as opposed to the whiteness to the side, or even: the whiteness down below). 

—

Being left in the Antivoid is just as much of a torture as you’d imagine. Real torture. 

It’s... familiar. In the worst of ways, You hate “familiar”. You hate the staleness, the sameness, the stillness. It’s all the same, for hours upon hours upon hours. 

Haha. Funny how you keep ending up in dead ends. 

It’s more barren than your own universe. It’s more repetitive and deprived than hundreds of repetitions of the same goddamn day remembered with crystal clarity. It’s not warm and it’s not cold. It’s not nice, and it’s not even painful.

If the Antivoid was painful, that would’ve been a mercy to you.

The emptiness devours you whole. It rips you up piece by piece. Slow and deliberate, unbothered by the passage of time, which makes sense, because it’s not like time changes anything at all around here. 

You don’t know how long you’ve been here. It couldn't have been that long, but it already feels like weeks. The void spaces have that effect on people. It’s by definition. Here, eternity is stored in every second. 

You sleep, mostly, to pass the time. 

When you’re awake, you self-destruct. Your mind is starved and desperate, looking for something something something to grasp but there is nothing. It’s just you. You engrave your own bones with sharp points. You claw at your being. You seek and seek and seek and you find nothing but yourself, until your self is indistinguishable from the nothing as well. 

You feel like screaming just to hear something, but nothingness has no voice.

—

You wake up. Again. All the same every time. Repetitions for eternity. You despise abstract concepts, except you don’t, because emptiness doesn’t contain emotions. 

...Except. 

“Good thing it’s not Error who found you first!” Ink jokes, standing over you all cheery. He’s... he’s colorful.

It takes you several moments to remember that, conceptually, you have a body, and you leap to your feet. 

“Woah there buddy!” exclamation mark in his eye, Ink stumbles back so you don’t ram your head into his accidentally, but that triggers some desperation in you and you grab him by the scarf and yank him back. 

The feeling of something material in your hand, something that isn’t you, is like a shock. Except you still feel nothing. You just stare at the bunched up fabric. 

Ink remains in place, a little awkward. In a position showing he’s unsure what you’re up to, whether to be prepared for an attack. You consider attacking. You feel nothing about the concept.

“Heeeeyyyy,” Ink draws out, regaining his nonchalant cheer with a blink. “Yyyoou okay there...?” 

How are you supposed to answer that? The question strikes you as absurd. Nonsensical. You laugh even though you feel no amusement. That’s normal for you. 

“...Right,” Ink clears his throat. “Sssooo whatcha up to? Where’s Nightmare?” he asks, mostly curious. Ink has always struck you as a weirdo freak, something off about his reactions, but you’ve never thought about it too deeply. 

You shrug. You’re still holding his scarf. You’re unsure why. You don’t particularly care and he doesn’t seem to mind it either, so. No reason to stop. 

(He’s real he’s tangible he’s something different he’s something something something–)

“Well I’m just passing by, I’ll be out in a–” 

“If you so much as think about leaving I’ll stab you through the spine.” you immediately counter, calmly threatening. 

“Awww if you wanted company you could’ve just said so!” Ink takes it in stride, and again, off reactions. It’s the most interesting thing that has happened in what feels like eternity so you latch onto it. 

“You’re weird.” you point out. 

Ink laughs. “Yeah, I get that a lot! Part of having a creative nature,” he strikes a pose all cheeky, eye light in the shape of a sparkle. You’re still holding him by the scarf. “Soooo what have you been up to??” he asks, rocking back and forth on his feet all silly. 

You gesture around with a flat expression. “Nothing,” 

Ink snorts. “How long have you been here?” he prods you (literally, with a finger, which you allow because he’s physical and here and real).

You shrugs. “Not like I can keep track,” you huff. 

“Yeesh. You gotta be careful with that one, spend too long and the glitching disease will get to you,” Ink says like he’s joking, except that is literally a fact. People go insane and corrupted in the void spaces. 

You consider demanding from Ink to get you out of here. 

...You remember you have nowhere to go. 

You remember how livid Nightmare was. And how much more powerful he is than you. And how he owns your soul. And how if he wants you to be here, here you will be, so there’s not really a point to it. Everything always ends up like this for you, huh? Everything always the same, and always horrible, until none of it matters. That’s how your existence has always been, and how it always will be. 

“Need me to get you somewhere?” Ink offers, lifting his brush, like he was on a similar train of thought but departed a few stations earlier.

“...I’ve stabbed you several times,” you point out like an echo of amusement, because Ink is best described as quirky. And again, considering circumstances, it’s currently the most interesting thing in your life. What a tragedy. 

“Yeah...?” Ink prompts with a question mark in his eye, like he isn't seeing how that relates to his question at all. 

You tilt your head. 

“Why do you want to help me?” you ask, because the closest thing to emotion you have right now is curiosity-fascination. Though that doesn't say much, considering it just as distant as everything else. “We're enemies, or something,”

“Oh!” Ink exclaims. “Oh I don't really care,” he shrugs. “I mean, I guess that's the narrative, yeah! But it's not like I hate you personally or something,” he chuckles. 

Weirdo freak. 

You've never cared to learn anything about the Stars. You realize you barely even know their tragic backstories. You still don't particularly care, but Ink is a natural yapper, so maybe you can use him to fill the silence.

(Until he leaves, of course. Until you are left alone. You are always left alone.)

“You don't find my actions abhorrent? Not how I've killed hundreds? Not how I enjoy torturing others?” you seek for the buttons to press, grinning. You recall that yeah, Ink is a lot more difficult to get a rise out of compared to the other two, who are so openly emotional. 

“I mean,” Ink scratches his skill. “On one hand, a good story needs villains. On the other hand, the best narratives are about how good triumphs in the end, and so you need someone to be that component as well. In that sense, I am against it!” he concludes. “Although works that explore dark endings are also fascinating and have their own merit,” he considers. “Like tragedies, or darkgrim stories. They–” he starts rambling, distracted by the topic. 

It's interesting for maybe a second. It quickly stops being so. You can't bring yourself to care about whatever he's talking about, or to want to.

You consider attacking him, again. But then he might leave, depending on whether he has something else to do instead or not. 

“Are the other two coming around?” you interrupt, though Ink doesn't seem offended that you completely ignored his spiel. 

“Hm? Uh, I don't think so, why?” he asks in turn. Damn, that means they have no business around here. Though, after a brief pause, Ink’s eyes widen and he exclaims a “Wait!” 

He tries to pull away but you hold onto the fabric of his scarf tighter, summoning a knife in a kind reminder of your threat. Ink lifts his palms placatingly, chuckling. 

“Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere!” he assures. “I’ll just call them over too and then we can all... talk!” 

Oh. 

That meant he was going to seize the opportunity to try and “reason” with you like they did with Horror and Dust. Again. Like you didn't laugh in their faces every previous time. Respect for the persistence? 

“You do realize that won't work, right?” you generously point it out to Ink. 

He blinks.

“I’m not betraying Nightmare,” you snort. 

Ink tilts his head. “Why?”

He asks it so simply. No “You know he doesn't love you, right?”, no “But he's awful to you!”, none of that. Maybe that's why you answer him. 

“Because,” you say, almost amused, shrugging. You're unsure how to finish that. You're unsure how to explain, so you just say the truth — “I don't care about anything else,” 

Ink is looking at you curiously now, his previous idea of calling for backup seemingly forgotten, which is typical for him. 

He sits on the ground. He pats the ground in an invite. You sit down too, mostly because you're still holding his scarf. 

“Nothing? Really?” Ink asks, pulling his leg closer to rest his chin on his knee. 

“Nope!” 

“You don't have a family?” 

You burst out laughing. You pretend to wipe a tear, even.

“What? Do you know nothing?” you exclaim, cackling. 

Ink is just staring at you with question marks. 

“Know what?” he asks. What an idiot. You'd roll your eyes if you had any. At best, you manage to mimick the action. 

“I killed them all,” you say easily. “Many, many times,” 

“...Oh. Right.” Ink seems to remember. “But why??” 

Huh. Apparently Killer wasn't the only one who couldn't give a flying fuck to learn anything about his supposed enemies. 

Killer sighs dreamily, “To listen to their sweet sweet cries of pain,”

Ink grimaces. “Oh. Really??? You come from a twist on the original timeline though, right?” he asks, frowning in confusion. “The classic version of Sans is not like that,” 

“Clearly I'm not the classic version of Sans,” Killer pointed out flatly, and to emphasize the point, he gestured to his soul. You know. The one that is nothing like a monster’s or a human’s. 

“Oooohhhhh,” Ink nodded along, hand reaching forward– Killer flinched. Body immediately strung tight, ready for the barrage of suffering that always followed when his soul was grasped and squeezed and– 

But he was so baffled by the action, he let it happen. 

Ink pulled his hand back, however, staring at his face. 

Killer snorted, and moved his hand to offer his soul, that wretched thing. It's not like he cared if anyone did anything to it. Or hurt it. 

(His soul. His being. His self. The essence and shape of his existence condensed into one. The most vulnerable part of you. The most you part of you.)

“Go on,” you shrug. “Not like I care,” 

Ink hesitantly reaches out a hand to prod the cursed thing. It feels just as uncomfortable and bad as you'd imagine, to have your soul poked. He pulls his hand back. 

“...Well,” Ink starts, “at least you have one?” he offers, chuckling. “Better than nothing!” 

You tilt your head. That's a strange way to say that.

“What, you don't?” 

“Nope!” Ink says as easily as you would.

It's your turn to blink and stare. At his neutrally cheerful grin.

And suddenly... it does make sense. The sense of emptiness behind half his expressions. The lack of care where others would have at least some. The odd view of the world. His flat affect, even if it was a positive one.

...Huh. 

Ink was telling the truth. He was soulless. 

You raise a hand to where yours returned to the middle of your chest. Always sitting in front of it. Always bare. Detached from the rest of you. 

“...How?” 

“Just never had one,” Ink shrugs.

You can only think of one other soulless creature — that yellow flower. 

But... it doesn't make sense. The wretched flower reached the point of destroying everything, over and over again, to curb the nothingness and boredom. You reached the point of destroying everything, over and over again, to curb the nothingness and boredom. 

Yet here Ink was. Playing as one of the so-called “good guys”. 

“Then how do you feel?” you press the issue. 

“Oh? I’m good!” Ink says cheerfully. 

“No– how do you feel feelings if you're soulless?” you huff.

“Huh? Oh!” Ink exclaims, and then takes out one of those colorful vials he carries on a sash everywhere he goes. “I don’t! Not naturally, anyway. I have these to help me!” he shakes the little vial — yellow, barely anything remaining inside. They're all in different quantities.

You frown. “What? How? Are they magic?” you reach to take the vial but Ink pulls it back. Now that's interesting.

“Sort of?” Ink squints at the vial. “They correspond to different emotions, but I think they only work on me,” 

...Of course. 

You let go of his scarf. 

You consider fighting him to snatch one of the vials and try it anyway. You know it's pointless, however.

The disappointment is crushing. You feel like a drug addict who was just handed a bag overflowing with white powder only to discover it's flour. 

“You should leave before I dice you into dust.”

The disappointment is crushing. 

Hah. Hahahah. As if. As if it could be as easy as drinking some paint. Of course not. When has your life ever been easy? No, you are doomed to be like this forever. You knew this. It's downright hilarious you thought (hoped), even for less than a moment, that there could be anything else. 

It's so funny you're chuckling.

It's so funny you're laughing. 

When Ink leaves, you're still howling with laughter, black liquid streaming down your face.

—

The quiet around here was deafening. It was starting to make Killer hyperaware of every quiet rustle of clothing from every little movement. Several times he caught himself starting to talk to himself, trying to fill the quiet with jokes or something. But that was a slippery slope, so he shut the hell up. If he didn't talk, hopefully nothing would start replying. He refused to get corrupted by the glitches. 

Luckily — and that is a weird descriptor — Ink returned. For some known-only-to-him reason. 

“Why the hell are you back?” Killer asked, not bothering to get up this time. Just laying on his back. He's here on a vacay. 

“Well!” Ink said, and judging by the changing direction of his voice, he was moving around. “The empty white is literal torture, isn't it?” he chuckled.

“What would you know,” Killer mimed rolling his eyes. Wasn't Ink some almighty creator? He could just hurl some ink around and it wouldn't be white anymore.

Ink laughed. “Oh trust me, I know,” 

Killer felt like he was missing something. 

“Can't you just, I don't know, paint it?” 

“Yep! That's what I'm doing right now!” Ink explained cheerfully. Killer pushed himself up to look, now.

Huh. Yeah. Ink was going around with his brush, using the white space as a big canvas. Killer squinted, unable to decipher what exactly he was drawing, besides some colors and shapes. Red and pink, blue in different shades, yada yada. 

“...What is it,” Killer observed Ink’s movements, walking around him, deliberate but free flowing. 

“Just whatever feels right,” Ink shrugged. “The different hues have different, you know, vibes, depending on how you mix them, how you use them against one another– oh can you step to the side there?” 

He did, getting to his feet and stepping aside.

“Thanks!” Ink said, filling in the spot. 

Killer squinted, still trying to figure out what it all was. The warm colors looked like a flame maybe...? 

He kept watching Ink work for a few more moments. It was weird, to be alone with someone, without a constant background thrum of negativity. Killer couldn't call it pleasant, but... it was better than the emptiness. 

Suddenly he was hauled up and his reflexes immediately fired off, magic materializing in an immediate attack and just as soon he was dropped. 

“Wow you are jumpy!” Ink exclaimed, holding the wound that Killer cut into him. It didn't seem too deep, mostly due to Ink’s durability. He was standing on top of a short pillar of ink. 

“Don't forget who you're talking to,” Killer threatened with a low tone, grin stretching as he gripped a sharp, sharp knife in hand. 

“Whoops!” Ink didn't seem all too affected. “Don't you wanna see what it is though?” he leaned on a hand, all silly. 

...

Killer accepted being lifted up by a glob of ink, mildly curious. 

He stared at the splatter on the white ground. 

It was a moth. In shades of icy, hopeless blue. Surrounded by scorching red flames. Huh. Okay them. Pretty cool, or something. At least it was colorful. 

Ink put him back down on the ground. With his hands on his hips, he admired his own work, chuckling.

“It’s nice to fill the emptiness, don't you think?” 

Killer had never bothered caring about the Stars. He didn't care about them as people, what they felt or what they thought. 

He... never would've expected to find understanding with one of them. 

“...Yeah,” he said quietly. “Yeah, it is.”

—

.

.

.

“ARGH we’re too late?!” Dream blurted out. 

“Huh, I could've sworn he seemed to be staying here for longer,” Ink commented, much less affected. 

“The one time he and Nightmare aren’t attached at the hip–” Dream continued groaning. 

“Maybe Nightmare sensed we were planning to talk to him–?” Blue suggested, trying to investigate the nearly empty white space. All that remained were splotches from Ink’s activities. No Killer in sight. 

Dream sighed loudly, rubbing his face, greatly dejected. “That's... possible,” he breathed.

“We should've come here sooner,” Blue put his hands on his hips. 

“He wasn't very happy with the idea,” Ink shrugged. 

“It’s... we’ll have another opportunity,” Dream concluded. He had to stay positive and hopeful. “No matter how long we need to wait, we’ll figure out how to help them,” he remained determined.