#we all scream for being the only one sane enough to handle dream

[dragon-flies-72]

Now that that's over with if I hear another person say

"I think theres a disconnect"

For the rest of this goddamn year then I'm going to commit a crime.

Goodnight, I'll see you all next year

[demonhanabi]

The Braaaaains Excitation - One Shot

Originally posted to AO3 - August 2024

*knock, knock, knock* "Leonard." *knock, knock, knock* "Leonard." *knock, knock, knock* "Leonard."

Leonard woke up with a gasp and looked around before his brain caught up, tiredly he let his head hit the wall he had been leaning against. ‘Not again.’ He bemoaned in his head.

Leonard could see Howard was awake as well. He looked like shit. Neither of them had gotten a good night’s sleep since this whole sickness began.

*knock, knock, knock* "Leonard." *knock, knock, knock* "Leonard." *knock, knock, knock* "Leonard."

And now they couldn’t even sleep in peace.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Leonard screamed loudly at the barricaded door. "JUST *hic* shut up." A sob escaped him and his voice lost all the strength it had. ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ He thought as tears began rolling down his cheeks, he removed his patched up glasses and rubbed at his eyes. Howard silently sat down next to him.

How had it all come to this? When it started they had all joked about ‘Code Milky Green’ and now here they were, in Howard’s house, doors and windows barricaded. Leonard and Howard were the only ones not infected.

"Really Leonard? Is that the proper way to react to a friend knocking on your door? Why, if you must know, in the past the rules of hospit-" Leonard couldn’t handle it anymore.

"Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup" Leonard rocked back and forth in place, only Howard’s hand on his shoulder kept him sane.

"Tsk, tsk." Leonard could hear Sheldon clicking his tongue in disapproval, and for a moment it was all so normal. Maybe things could go back to the way they were before, he hoped for a foolish moment. "Really Leonard? For that, I will eat you slowly." And then reality came crashing down on him.

Leonard felt more than saw Howard tensing next to him. Even through the bushy beard and long hair he could make out the fear and stress on Howard’s face. Not that Leonard was doing much better, not even in the Arctic he felt so crummy.

"You know I don’t like to nitpick, but is this really your plan Leonard? You will simply barricade yourself and hope for the best? Maybe that’s okay for now, but one day you will run out of food and bullets. And then what? Have you thought about that? I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough. You never had the head for seeing the big picture and planning accordingly. But Leonard, that's what I do." And that’s the scariest thing Leonard had ever heard.

He could see the effect those words had on Howard as well and Leonard grabbed the other man in a one side hug. Leonard had gotten really good at knowing when Howard was about to have a panic attack. He tried to be strong but it had been months now and Leonard could feel himself starting to break at the seams.

Time was running out.

"Penny? Can you talk to them? Leonard is refusing to see reason." Sheldon was never a patient man.

"Of course Sweetie." Oh nonononononononono. God, why?

"Leonard? Sweetie. You know that Sheldon is right. You and Howard will die screaming." Why her?

Leonard grabbed the strap of his rifle and bit it, hard enough that for a moment he feared he would bite right through it. Howard was now the one holding onto Leonard tightly and trying to comfort him.

He could barely handle Sheldon as it was and now Penny was here as well. She sounded the same but the words she used would make sure he could never have a good night’s sleep ever again.

"I know! Maybe we can reach a compromise, how about you open up the door and We’ll all come inside and eat your brains?. Doesn’t that sound good? It’ll be over fast." She sang happily.

No one should sound so cheery when saying those words.

"Well, I tried Moonpie." Penny sounded so much like he remembered in his dreams.

"Only Meemaw may call me Moonpie. But, thank you for trying Penny. It’s not your fault that they’re being unreasonable." Sheldon sighed, disappointed.

Leonard could almost fool himself into believing that this whole thing was a bad dream. That his best friend and girlfriend were not zombies trying to eat their brains.

"Oh! I know. Perhaps you can attempt to convince them, Koothrappali." Sheldon sounded happy and it made his blood run cold.

Howard tensed up again and Leonard could see tears gather in his friend’s eyes. This was torture.

They waited for a long moment with bated breath but no sound came from behind the door. Only the distant groaning of hordes of zombies could be heard.

"Honestly Raj, you really need to overcome this weakness of yours. Just because Penny is present should not mean that you’re unable to communicate clearly." Sheldon huffed, annoyed.

Howard laughed unexpectedly but soon the laughter turned into sobs and crying. Leonard pulled his friend fully into his arms. They couldn't afford to break down, they needed to survive and make it out of here.

"Yes, well. Moving on.” Sheldon quickly changed the subject. “Leonard, I know why you hesitate to accept our offer to open that door and I want to assure you that all we want is your brains. No one here is going to do something as barbaric as eat your eyes. We’re not monsters." He sounded so reasonable.

"Sweetie, I think technically we are." Penny interjected.

"What? Oh, yes, of course, I meant…well, you know what I meant."

"I know Honey." Penny said.

Leonard closed his eyes as he listened to Sheldon. A lifetime ago his friends bickered like this and now they were discussing how to eat him.

Leonard eyed the rifle in his hands. He could end it all, it would be so easy. Their bullets were running out and no one was coming to save them. From the few radio transmissions they still got it was clear that humanity was doomed. City after city fell and a new species rose to the top of the food chain.

"I’ll think it over Sheldon." Leonard was surprised by how steady and calm his voice was. Howard looked at him like he was crazy. And maybe he was, but what else were they supposed to do?

Sheldon, even as a zombie, was a force to be reckoned with.

"I’m glad to hear that Leonard. I appreciate the way you’re working with me. I know we’re all busy so I’m happy to hear you taking feedback so well." Leonard could imagine Sheldon smugly putting his hands behind his back.

"Don’t worry Sweetie. I’ll make sure you don’t suffer." Penny promised and his heart broke for the millionth time.

“Leonard, I really appreciate the way you’re working with us. And don’t worry, we’ll finally put this issue to rest once I bash your head in.” Nausea assaulted him and Leonard had to close his eyes and lean his head against the wall. “Now, if you don’t mind. Penny and I have another meeting."

"Take care Leonard, Sweetie. We’ll be back tomorrow." Penny promised again and Leonard eyed his rifle.

"I’m really proud of you Leonard. I hope you don’t mind we leave Kurt here watching over the house. He’s not the brightest but he’s fast and strong and will keep others from chewing through your doors." Leonard wanted to laugh, of course it couldn’t be that easy. Sheldon wouldn’t let them escape.

A loud and guttural groan came from beyond the door. If Leonard had to guess, that was Kurt.

"No Kurt, no bashing just yet. Leonard -and to a lesser degree Wolowitz- are reasonable men and will see that we’re in the right. Eventually." Sheldon assured the zombie tasked to keep them from running.

He could hear them walk away and he had to wonder if it wouldn’t be easier to end it all. A bullet to the head and it would all be over.

But he was afraid, afraid that it won’t do the job right away and he’ll wake up like one of them. He could always ask Howard…no, he wouldn’t be that cruel toward his only remaining friend.

Leonard leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. Feeling the weight of the gun in his hand. Maybe it was time to end it all, either he would die or he would end up like one of them.

Or maybe they could escape again. But where?

He needed to make a decision soon. Because he knew.

Sheldon and Penny would be back tomorrow.

[cursedwriter]

Dancing with your Ghost - Fushiguro Megumi

Jujutsu Kaisen Masterlist 

Warnings: Deals with death, Megumi has various breakdowns, it’s just really sad over all... sorry for making you cry in advance! 

Words: 4.9k

Author’s Note: Kind of inspired by this song: Dancing with your Ghost - Sasha Sloan // Also, when they dance, I kinda imagined them to dance to this: Technicolour Beat - Oh Wonder 

“Is he still in there?” Yuji pointed at the door by the end of the hallway. Gojo was walking in his direction, his expression unreadable.  

“No matter what I tell him, he won’t come out.” His voice sounded tired, almost worn out. The sight must’ve been hard for him to bear. Itadori gulped. He wasn’t sure if he could take it. “You should try talking to him. Maybe he will listen to you. We both know he would regret it if he missed the ceremony.” Gojo patted Yuji on the shoulder, hand lingering for a few additional seconds in silent comfort.

“I’ll try my best,” Itadori nodded, though, he sounded more hopeful than he was. This was going to be rough.

Soon after, Gojo disappeared behind the corner and out of sight. His shoulders were slouching and his head was hanging low as if he couldn’t walk upright. This was hard on everyone. But the person who had it the worst of all was…

“Fushiguro, can I come in?” Yuji knocked on the door three times. No answer. He tried again. This time more forceful. “Hey, Megumi! It’s me, Yuji! Do you mind if I come in?” Still no answer. Itadori sighed, but he pushed the door open anyways, peering into the dimly lit library of the Jujutsu Tech High school. Admittedly, he’s never been in here before. Yuji wasn’t really the non-fiction reader… or anything that wasn’t manga, really. But upon entering the room, he couldn’t help but gawk. The shelves were stacked to the max, piling up above his head in a seemingly endless supply of books. There were books everywhere. The amount of knowledge that was stored in here was immense. And all about curses and jujutsu? Incredible! Maybe he should’ve come here sooner. He bet that there had to be at least a dozen books about Sukuna here somewhere.

“It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t make any sense.” Itadori was pulled out of his thoughts by the repetitive mantra that was coming from somewhere behind a shelf. He followed the sound that was mingled with quiet sobs and he had to force himself to keep walking. This was more terrifying than facing all the curses of this world together.

“Megumi?” He peered around the shelf, finding his friend sitting on the old wooden floor, frantically flipping through a book with yellowed pages that seemed to be falling apart at the seams. It must’ve been ancient.

“No sense, no sense, no sense,” he repeated over and over again as if that phrase was the only thing keeping him sane.

“Megumi?” Itadori tried again and finally Megumi’s head snapped up and he looked at Itadori like a deer caught in headlights… only way worse. His eyes were bloodshot with dark purple circles underneath them. A stark contrast to his sickly pale skin. Briefly, Yuji wondered if Megumi had slept at all since it happened. Tears were streaming down his face and it felt like they would never stop. An endless river of sorrow and despair. Yuji was sure he heard his own heart shatter in his chest as he looked at his best friend. He wished he could take some of the pain away. Even if it was just a little, but of course that was impossible. “The ceremony will start soon and-“

“That’s stupid!” Fushiguro cut him off harshly, his voice hoarse and quieter than usual. “Why would there be a freaking ceremony when she’s coming back?!”

“Megumi, she-“

“No! Stop it!” He yelled, throwing the book he was reading against the opposite wall. “Stop it! Shut up!” He pressed his palms against his temples as if he wanted to crush his own skull. “I’ll do it, you’ll see! All of you! You’ll see! I’ll bring her back! I’ll bring her back, okay?! I will – I will!” He repeated it over and over again and it was apparent that he wanted to proof himself right more than anything else. Maybe making him believe would help ease his pain? Should he encourage him? No. Despite wishing that he could provide some words of comfort right now, Itadori knew that false hope would be the cruelest thing he could offer. No matter how much it hurt, but Megumi couldn’t go on like this… searching for something that wasn’t real.

“Megumi, please. You’ll regret it if you don’t come,” Itadori tried again, picking up the book that Megumi had thrown away. He flipped through the first pages and he could already tell that the answers Megumi was searching for weren’t in this book. It was mostly about how sorcerers could reincarnate as curses if their dead bodies weren’t handled properly. If they died you had to make sure that the last hit was infused with cursed energy. Usually, that took care of things. However, if they died of natural causes, diseases or accidents there was a special ritual, a ceremony that made sure their bodies were put to rest accordingly. Kind of like a funeral, but then again, not quite. This was the ceremony Fushiguro refused to attend, even though it was highly valued among sorcerers. It was a way to pay your last respects, value their accomplishments and thank them for their sacrifice. He probably refused to go because that would make her death final and he would be forced to move on, no matter how hard it would be… and it was going to be very hard.

“SHE’S COMING BACK, DAMMIT!” Megumi yelled at him, reaching for another book that was stocked in a pile he’d built himself. The tower crumbled with the way he yanked it out, dozen books falling to the ground, scattering to their feet. It was eerily quiet for a second, Yuji didn’t dare to speak. The atmosphere so thick, he doubted even Maki’s demon blade could cut through it. And then, right when he wanted to say something, anything really to get rid of the suffocating silence in the room, Megumi started sobbing. Not like before. Impossibly, it was even worse. His whole body shook with the action, hands that were clinging onto the book were trembling and despite him hanging his head low, Yuji could see the frequent tears that were hitting the old worn out pages of the book, blurring the ink further, making it almost unreadable.

Hesitantly, he took a step forward, but he wasn’t quite sure what to do. Should he hug him? What could he even say? Should he call for someone? Gojo-sensei? Would he know what to do? Or Nobara? Or, wait! Y/N always knew what to do when it came to him… Oh, right…

Yuji slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. How could he forget?! It really didn’t feel real yet, huh? Itadori tried to swallow the big lump in his throat as he crouched down and gently took the book out of Fushiguro’s shaking hands. He looked so fragile, as if a single slap to the wrist could break his arm.

“I just don’t get it,” Megumi whispered. His voice sounded far away, as if he was underwater or as if Yuji had cotton in his ears, muffling his voice to a point where it was almost incomprehensible. “It’s just so unfair.”

Yuji placed the book on the ground beside him, skipping over the title “Resurrection and the balance of the world”, it read. He gulped again. Could it be possible?

“I know it is.” He laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and another muffled cry escaped Megumi’s mouth. Yuji had seen a lot over the course of just one year, but not once has he witnessed such utter despair. The sight pulled on his heart strings in ways he couldn’t even explain.

“She fought against the most heinous creatures every day and you’re telling me she died because some fucking asshole thought it was a good idea to drive while being absolutely shit faced?!” Some of his words were swallowed by his sobs, but Itadori understood him well enough. “I refuse to believe that! I refuse to accept that!”

Momentarily Itadori was thrown back to the moment they got the call, he remembered it all too vividly. The shock, the confusion and his scream…

“I’m sorry for your loss,” the nurse led them into the room. The air was chilly and it smelled like disinfectant.  The stench so unbelievably strong, Megumi thought he might throw up. It burned in his eyes and nose and he distantly felt his cheeks getting wet. He couldn’t tell if it was because of the smell or of what was to come… at this point, it still felt like a sick joke, some twisted game or prank. Just not real, like a dream, a nightmare he would wake up from any second.

There was a single bed in the middle of the room, the body underneath covered by a white cloth. Gojo, Nobara and Yuji gathered around it, hands clutched together in front of them as if they were silently praying. Megumi hesitated. He stood in the doorframe, looking at the scene in front of him and nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Everyone was crying. Even Gojo seemed more tense than usual and he was sure he saw a stray tear slip from underneath his sunglasses.

The room was silent, except for the door falling shut behind him as the nurse left them to mourn in peace. This was a dream, right? A nightmare? How could it be anything else?

Megumi’s footsteps echoed off the walls as he hesitantly approached the bed covered in white sheets.

This is just a dream. This is a nightmare. You’re going to wake up any second now. Just wake up. Wake up! Wake up, dammit!

But he didn’t wake up. Not even as he reached for the white cloth. And he didn’t wake up as he slowly lifted it up. He didn’t wake up when everyone sucked in a sharp breath. And he didn’t wake up as Nobara’s knees buckled and she fell to the ground sobbing. He didn’t wake up as he laid his eyes on your peaceful but lifeless face.

Megumi didn’t wake up. But God did he wish he did.

He stood there for what felt like an eternity. Studying your features. How your hair was softly flowing on the pillow, how your lips were slightly parted as if you would wake up at any given moment and tell him something important. But he also noticed that your cheeks lacked their signature pinkish tint and your lips were more blue than their usual vibrant red.

His hand inched closer to your face, connecting to your cheeks and adoringly caressing it. It was cold underneath his touch. Your skin feeling more like wax than it felt alive.

No one said anything, the only sound was Nobara’s quiet sobs that she tried to stiffle to the best of her abilities. Everyone watched Megumi and no one knew what to do. Neither of them has ever felt so helpless. Even Gojo was rendered speechless at the heartbreaking sight in front of him.

And then, everything slowly started to sink in…

She’s gone.  She’s gone. She’s really gone! You’re not waking up! Why aren’t you waking up?! Wake up!! No, no, no. This can’t happen. This can’t happen. This isn’t happening! Tell me this isn’t happening?!

Didn’t I just talk to her this morning? Didn’t we talk about going to the beach as soon as it got warmer? Didn’t we make dinner plans? Didn’t she boast about a new recipe she wanted to try? Didn’t this just happen? And you’re telling me that all of that is just… gone? Just like that? In a moments notice… poof?! Evaporated into thin air? You’re telling me that?

“Wake up, dammit! Wake up, dammit! WAKE UP!”

Everyone stared helplessly at Fushiguro. At first no one knew if he was talking to himself or you, but then he started desperately shaking your shoulders, repeating the words over and over again. “We wanted to go to the beach, remember? You told me you couldn’t wait! Come back, and I’ll drive us right now! Come back! Come back to me, please! Please!”

Gojo couldn’t bear the sight anymore. The way he shook your body as if that would change anything. With a few long strides he closed the distance between him and Megumi and pulled him away from the bed. He was thrashing at him, screaming in his face to let him go, but Gojo didn’t listen. He gladly took a hit or two if that meant Fushiguro could get at least some of his frustration out of his body. To Gojo, the room itself was a hard place to be in – for obvious reasons. The energy here made him feel uneasy and on edge. The amount of cursed energy gushing out of Megumi was immense and almost unbearable. He had to get his emotions in check or else…

Megumi continued to yell and thrash. “Let me go, you bastard! Let me go! I need to see her! I need to see her!”

“I understand that this is hard for you, but you need to calm down!” Gojo’s voice was stern. This was probably the first time ever that he actually put on the façade of a responsible adult. Nobara and Yuji watched the two with wide eyes, but didn’t interfere otherwise. “If you keep this up, you might end up cursing her! Do you want that?!”

“Let me go! Let me go!” Megumi wasn’t listening.

“Megumi, snap out of it!” Gojo’s palm connected to Megumi’s cheek, his flesh burning hot where it had connected. For a moment, the room was silent again. Only Megumi’s labored breaths broke through the thick tension.

“You bastard!” Megumi launched himself at Gojo with all his strength, but that was exactly what Gojo intended. It was better if he directed all his energy towards him than having it leak out of him uncontrollably. Otherwise he had the potential of manifesting a new special grade curse that neither one of them wanted to deal with, especially if you were to be reborn as said curse.

Megumi stopped his relentless attacks, knees buckling under his weight as a single agony filled screamed echoed off the walls…

Megumi slowly opened his eyes. His head was aching, blood soaring in his ears. What happened? He looked around himself. The room was dark, only illuminated by the moon light that peered through his partially closed blinds. He was laying in his bed, the room a mess just like he remembered. That was unlike him. Well, ever since that day he hasn’t been himself at all. Now, he more or less felt like an empty shell, existing but not alive.

He groaned, sitting up while he rubbed his temples, hoping to get the relentless throbbing to stop. Ah, that’s right. A few flashes of the previous events reminded him of what had happened. Megumi’s frustration and anger had gotten the best of him and he started throwing books, ripping them out of their shelves and even tearing some of them apart when he couldn’t find the answers he was looking for. Yuji had to call for Gojo and he in turn had knocked him unconscious.  

Megumi huffed. Great. Now he was probably not permitted to go to the library again. He should really start thinking before lashing out like this. No, matter, though. If push comes to shove he’d find a way in and if it’s the last thing he did. He didn’t really care anymore anyways. What’s the worst that could happen? Expulsion? That was nothing.

He peeled the covers back, his shirt sticking to his body uncomfortably. Maybe he should take a shower before he went back again.

Reluctantly, he got up and walked towards his bathroom, mindful not to trip on anything that was scattered on his floor.

Once he was there, he turned the shower faucet on, letting the water heat up while he stripped out of his clothes. His head was still killing him and his whole body ached. He shivered, even as he got into the shower and the hot water burned his skin. He was still cold. For some reason he didn’t seem to be able to get warm anymore, as if you took all of his warmth with you, when you left him.

“Ew, stop doing that,” you laughed wholeheartedly as Megumi shook his wet hair in your face after coming out of the shower. “Seriously, are you a dog?”

“No, but I love hearing you laugh.” Megumi wrapped his arms around you, pressing your back against his naked chest as you both watched your reflection in the mirror. “I really love you, Y/N. So much,” he whispered in your ear, not taking his eyes off the mirror. He could see the faint blush on your cheeks and he placed a soft kiss to the nape of your neck to emphasize his words.

“I love you, too.” The smile on your lips and the way your eyes sparkled with joy, filled his heart with warmth and light. He could bask in it for all eternity and he would never get tired of it.

Megumi turned the water off, still shivering. It was to no use. His skin was burning red, though, and the whole room was filled with steam and yet, he had goosebumps all over his body. His teeth started clattering as he dried himself and he put on new clothes.

The clock on his bedside table told him that it was three in the morning. He felt like he forgot about something… something important. What was it again?

And then his eyes widened in shock. No, no, no.

“Hey, look!” Megumi felt your slender fingers wrap around his wrist, your warmth immediately warming his cold skin. You tugged him gently and he followed you. It didn’t take long for you to reach your desired destination and you stopped, eyes shining with awe in them as you watched over the city, lights sparkling and illuminating the darkness. Megumi couldn’t deny that the view was breathtaking, but he couldn’t keep his eyes from constantly looking at you instead. The way your face lit up, the way the lights danced on your face and how your cheeks were always tinted in their usual pinkish color, made him fall for you all over again. His heart hammered in his chest and his pulse picked up. Butterflies assaulting his stomach in the best way imaginable and he felt like he was floating above ground. Never has he felt so happy. “There! It’s starting!” You beamed at him as the first flash of light painted the night sky in a bright blue color, then it changed to red and then green. The sound of other fireworks being set off rang through the otherwise silent night. Here, on top of the mountain away from anyone, it was the most peaceful place he could imagine. But he wasn’t sure if it was only because of the view and the fact that no one was around or if it was because you were here. Whatever it was, he didn’t dream to fight it. The feeling so foreign yet so welcomed.

Suddenly your hand appeared in his line of vision and he didn’t hesitate to take it. What he didn’t expect was you starting to spin around. It took him a moment to catch up. “C’mon, Megumi, what are you doing? Don’t just stand there so stiffly! Dance with me!” You urged him on and Megumi felt his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. He could only hope that you couldn’t see it.

“There’s no music, though,” he said, trying to find an excuse to not make a complete fool out of himself. You see, Megumi wasn’t a dancer. Give him a choreographed fighting formation and he could do that no problem, but moving his feet to the rhythm of a song? Nope. That was sure to end in him tripping over his own feet and in the worst case break his leg or arm.

You rolled your eyes at him, but instead of saying anything, you reached into your back pocket to get a hold of your phone. It didn’t take long and the sound of the fireworks was mixed with the soft tune of a song that he didn’t know. “Better?”

Well, not really… Megumi scratched the back of his head, unsure. Better to come clean, I guess. “You see… I can’t really dance… like at all,” Megumi stammered.

“So what? I can’t dance either,” you laughed, spinning around and jumping up and down like it was the most normal thing to do. The smile on your face never faltered and you did another spin, throwing your hands up in the air, moving them around awkwardly. Megumi couldn’t help but laugh at your awkward movements. You looked so silly, it was hilarious. “See? Now it’s only fair that you make a fool out of yourself, too. You can’t leave me hanging like this!”

What the hell, right? Megumi started moving his feet, still super stiffly and anything but graceful, but he did it. He looked at you, following your movements and it didn’t take him long to get the hang of it… well, somewhat at least. He still looked really awkward and helpless, so you reached both your hands out for him again and he grabbed them without hesitation, just like before. You started spinning both of you in circles, giggling at the way his face lit up slightly. He joined your laughter, looking at you with the most adoring smile in the world. It felt… so easy. Everything with you felt so easy.

So now it was just the both of you, spinning around in fast circles, laughing at the night sky filled with stars while in the distance the sound of fireworks slowly died down. The music playing softly in the background, but you didn’t even care that the rhythm of the song didn’t match with your movements at all. Nothing mattered in that moment. Just the two of you. Together. Forever.

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d show up.” Gojo scratched the back of his neck, smiling apologetically. “Maybe I was a bit too rough, when I knocked you out. Sorry about that.”

Megumi stared at him sitting in the front row of lined up chairs. The room was only dimly lit by the candles at the other end. The soft light they cast illuminated a picture of you in a black frame. It was the same one he had saved as his phone background. Megumi gulped, feet moving on their own as he approached Gojo, though, he felt his knees wobble unsteadily. The air became thicker and thicker with every other step he took. It felt excruciatingly hard to breathe. It was suffocating.

Megumi sat down on a chair next to Gojo, forcing himself to tear his eyes off the framed picture in front of him. If he didn’t he was afraid he might break down again. So he shifted his attention to the man in the chair next to him. He was already looking at him, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses, as usual. There was a slight frown in his features, though, and his mouth was pressed into a thin line, a stark contrast to his normally giddy self. So Gojo could be serious, huh? Who would’ve thought? Bet you would’ve loved to see him like that…

“Megumi,” Gojo broke the silence first, his tone soft, but there was a certain sternness behind it that Megumi didn’t know he had until now. It left no room for interpretation. This was going to be a serious talk and Fushiguro didn’t know if he was ready for that yet. “I know that losing someone you care about is not easy and I’m not trying to pretend that I know exactly what you’re going through right now, but I’m telling you as your sensei and as a friend… you have to move on. And that means you have to stop looking for ways to bring her back.”

Megumi opened his mouth to tell him off, but Gojo just held a finger up to show him he wasn’t done yet. The crease between Megumi’s brows deepened, but he kept his mouth shut regardless. “The world works under a few distinct principles. Rules that cannot be broken, if you will. Like we know that after the sun sets, dawn will come. With darkness, there is light and no matter how harsh a winter might be, spring will always come next. And the pinnacle of those rules will always be that with life there comes death. We don’t get to choose when this’ll be or how it’ll happen, but from the moment we’re born we know without a doubt that we’ll have to leave this place at some point. Death is certain. It’s but one part of life and disrupting that cycle, breaking one of the unbreakable rules, would cause the whole system to fall apart. It would level the ground for mayhem and destruction, nothing would make sense anymore. The world would crumble. As sorcerers you know that we protect the ones who cannot protect themselves, but we also maintain balance and Megumi… while I do understand your desire to see her again, I have to warn you… even if there is a chance, I won’t let you do it at the expense of everyone else’s life.”

Silence fell between them again. Megumi had a hard time believing that these words really just came out of Gojo’s mouth. Deep down, he knew he was right. He knew it was a futile plan to bring you back. It was selfish and irresponsible, but he was so… desperate. So desperate to hear your voice again, so desperate to listen to you laugh or complain, so desperate to feel your delicate and warm touch on his cold skin. He was so desperate for these things; he couldn’t think straight. His mind felt foreign to him without you there. He didn’t know who he was, who he would be without you by his side. He didn’t know if he wanted to be in this world anymore with his source of warmth and comfort gone. They said, time healed all wounds but as of now that seemed impossible. Just a thing people told themselves to keep moving forward. A lie that was supposed to protect oneself from the cruel and harsh truth that the world didn’t stop spinning, that time passed by and that dawn always came… no matter what. The world moved forward regardless if you were here or not and it felt like a cruel joke to him. Nothing seemed the same. He didn’t recognize anything, looking at the world with different eyes. How could there be a world without you in it? Why was everyone moving forward while he was left behind? And how could they? How could they move on? Why didn’t the world stop spinning? It should. Because nothing felt right. Nothing was the same. And yet… that only held true for him.

Megumi wiped away his silent tears with the sleeve of his shirt. “But I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” he croaked out. It was the first thing that came to his mind. He replayed the morning with you over and over again and he couldn’t remember if he said goodbye to you when you left that fateful day. Did he? Did he not? In any case, he would’ve never thought how final of a farewell it would’ve been in the end. “I don’t even remember the last thing I said to her,” he sobbed.

He felt beyond guilty for not being able to recall it clearly. Did he say ‘I love you’? Did you say it back? He wanted to believe he did, but he just wasn’t sure and it drove him insane.

“She knew that you loved her very much, Megumi. I’m sure she knew until the very end.” Gojo patted his shoulder a few times, before he got up. “Take all the time you need.” He left the room, closing the door behind him, but not before he turned around one last time, looking at Megumi with worried eyes. “But remember, Megumi… You have to move on eventually, no matter how hard it is. For her sake and your own… Just know that you have people in your life that you can rely on any time, okay?”

Megumi nodded and Gojo let the door fall shut behind him. The silence that ensued was almost deafening. Finally, Megumi let his tears fall freely, sobbing like a child and sucking in air after shallow breaths.

Everything hurt with you gone. How could he ever move on? How could he ever love again? Megumi was scared he might break in half. How much pain could someone even bear? Though, deep down he knew that he didn’t have a choice… He had to try. And he would try his hardest to keep moving forward, holding on to that tiny glimpse of hope that one day he’d see you again. And when he did, he swore to himself to never stop telling you how much he loved you. Always and forever.

[yandere-sins]

In His Clutches

Following up with what I said in my last post, I’ll try to do some requests for now until my mental health recovers enough to continue the Fox Wedding, and first on my list is a request I received over ko-fi and which got way too delayed because of yantober and christmas time >_< Please enjoy some Overhaul for a change!

Rating: Mature Warning: Yandere, Blackmailing, Forced Submissiveness, Rough Handling, Mentioning of Blood, Threats, Insults, Mentioning of Violence, Also Chisaki how he was before his arc I have no idea how he behaves currently lol Words: 2120

With the way your head met the linoleum floor, you wondered if the fluid you felt on your skin were tears or perhaps a bloody nose. Even if you weren’t screaming out loud from the pain yet, the impact hurt like hell, and you had to take deep breaths to deal with the aftermath. No wonder you felt an instant wave of dizziness hit you, but being unable to focus your sight and not have nervosity and your shaken mind puke all over the floor were the least of your problems.

Latest when something long and textured lowered down onto the back of your head, did you even realize what you had been forced to do with your involuntary fall to the ground. Without being able to make out anyone before you right away, you were definitely propped into a bowing position, forehead touching the floor, and when you tried to fight off what was holding you down, you looked entirely like a person pleading for forgiveness. “Look what filth honors us today,” a snarky voice picked up, and you could hear small feet pace before you. “The audacity that you’d even show here!”

You were about to complain and set the voice straight that you were not here because you wanted to, but rather because you’d been pulled into a car in the middle of the day and feared for your life if you didn’t move as you were told. But your head was turned to the side suddenly and ungently, and though you shoot daggers at the people before you, once you got used to the light blinding you, you felt a cold shudder run down your spine as your view cleared.

Penetrating, golden irises looked down from above, a body posture as unfazed and unbothered as only someone who knew they had the upper hand could have. The black mask moved slowly as the man before you spoke, never fully revealing his face, and yet the sight in front of you brought a shiver down your spine. “Like gum under my soles,” he agreed to the first voice, and you finally realized what was pressing you down. Polished, seemingly new, white shoes stepped all over you, applying and taking the pressure as he pleased but never giving you the chance to escape from the floor you were pinned to.

The realization of your failed plans began to slowly but surely manifest throughout your body, a light shivering overcoming you as you lowered your eyes, squeezing them shut. A meager attempt of wishing this was just a bad dream, and perhaps you could wake up in your bed soon and atone for what you had done, leave the country even and never come back. 

It had been a gamble, really. A half-hearted attempt to break free from the monotonous life you were living and become someone exciting and filthy rich. Everything seemed too easy and safe when it was proposed to you; write the letter and send it off. Gloves, face masks, using the mailbox furthest from your home-- you had remembered EVERYTHING. And yet, you still got caught, so how-?

“How did we find out?” Kai Chisaki, leader of the yakuza clan known as the Shie Hassaikai and the recipient of your attempted blackmailing, spoke calmly and outwardly unfazed. From his hand hung the white letter you had used, the paper with the demand for money so the truth of their doings wouldn’t reach the wrong ears peeking out from it. Yet, when he lifted it up into your view, gloved fingers dug inside between the paper, pulling something out that you’d have never expected to leave behind. It was so small, probably only the rest of it after testing, barely noticeable. Still, you cringed, realizing that they had traced your DNA back to you by something so minor and silly as a hair. 

“I’m not a criminal,” you mumbled, noticing the distinctive, fearful shiver in your voice. 

“Obviously,” a small, black form, resembling a stuffed animal, huffed, and you were sure if he could have, he’d have rolled his eyes at you.

“They just told me what to do, and I- I just wanted to make some quick cash. You have to believe me! I don’t even know what they know! I only made the letter...”

The following silence was downright disturbing to you, a few seconds turning into the eternity one must feel before getting beheaded back in medieval times. A sigh eventually signaled the end of the nerve-tearing wait as countless ideas of what was going to happen to you now circled through your head. Finally, the foot lifted from your head and flapping the letter in his hand, Chisaki gave the underlings assembled in the room a signal. 

With groans and clicks of their tongues, bodies all around you began to move and disappear through doors that you couldn’t have made out with how perfectly they fitted into the white walls around you. You slowly lifted your torso off the ground again, looking after the last one of them disappear without even so much as a glance back over their shoulder, the doors closing automatically behind them. Suddenly, only the boss and you remained in this interrogation room, even though you were too afraid to dare and look at him. Instead, you focused your eyes on your hands, wondering why he’d want to be alone with you. If what you had always thought criminals did with people that defied them, then disposing of you didn’t seem like the work the boss would do. Truly, combining with the confusion you felt, the situation was only growing worse by the second.

“Working at a bank, inheriting the house of your parents, a pretty penny in your accounts. Sounds like a good life, and yet, you’d still resort to this.”

The envelope containing the letter landed right before you, sliding over the ground up to your knees. Biting your lip, you didn’t know what to say, especially when he almost sounded disappointed in you. His patronizing way of pointing out your faults didn’t make you feel any better or less scared, as Chisaki still didn’t appear to mean you well. Even the truth seemed like such a waste of air if spoken out loud, but what better was there to admit?

“... interesting.”

“Louder,” he demanded, his foot falling back down, this time on your hand, crushing it the longer you refused to speak up.

“I wanted to make it more interesting!” you gasped out loudly, clutching your hand close to your body the moment he let go. “I didn’t mean to harm you, Sir! You must believe me!”

This time you did look at him, with the most rueful eyes you could muster even, hoping to achieve anything, literally anything that would change the situation. “Hm,” he hummed in contemplation, and you gulped as you felt yourself run out of options. However, you didn’t expect him to sigh again before leaning forward, his eyes drilling into you as if he was trying to break you just with his stare. You had heard rumors. Rumors that he wasn’t quite sane and overtaken by his ambitions and germaphobia. Nonetheless, his eyes were clear, your reflection in them more fearful than you must have ever been in your whole life.

“You can beg better than that, I think,” he declared. 

In your panicked state of mind, you agreed with a short, firm nod, barely inching closer before noticing his eyes narrow reprimandingly, making you stop immediately. “P-Please don’t hurt me! I’d do anything! I was just the deliverer of the message! I know nothing, and if you let me go, I’ll never speak a word about what happened here--”

“Then tell me who made you write this letter.”

His instructions were clear, even though they made your blood freeze. “I don’t know…” you whispered, your body slowly shutting down as you realized it wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear. With a disapproving click of his tongue, a gloved hand reached forward, remaining at the corner of your eye for a split second. You ducked away from his touch, squeezing your eyes shut, but before you knew it, it was gone again, as if he decided against doing what he had wanted. Only now, you realized the tears collected in your eyes, not yet spilling but there as you had started to despair over the situation. However, there was no time to ponder about them as Chisaki spoke up again.

“Who,” he calmly said. “Tell me, and you are free to go.”

But you didn’t. You couldn’t. You had followed the instructions given to you online via an online forum you used to chat with strangers. You never actually met anyone personally before becoming a complice. You had always believed it was so much safer, but you were dead wrong. Sniffling, you shook your head, averting your eyes as you saw your chances of survival and escaping dwindling. “I have no idea…” 

Not much sound escaped you anymore as you lowered your head, defeated, accepting your due punishment for your stupidity. There was nothing you could have proven or handed to him to make you look any better. “Pity,” Chisaki said eerily calm, taking a deep breath before standing up, and you agreed. It was your life thrown away for the aspect of quick money. Naive thinking that you’d actually profit from this when in reality, you had simply been the decoy, or perhaps a lab rat, for the real masterminds behind the plan of blackmailing him. 

He didn’t say anything else as he watched you for a few moments more, rounding the chair he had been sitting on and walking towards one of the doors hidden in the walls, the sound of it opening making you snap back to reality. “W-Wait!” you called after him weakly. “What’s going to happen now?”

At first, you thought he’d ignore you, but just before disappearing in the dark corridor beyond this room, Chisaki stopped, being the only one to glance back over his shoulder at you. It was scary how little you could read the man from his eyes alone, no feeling whatsoever shimmering in them. 

“Now? You’re going to stay in here until you remember, of course. That or one of my men needs a new punchbag.”

And with that, he was gone, the door closing behind his back and leaving you all alone in the maddening white interrogation room. However, the worst was the ringing of his last few words that kept creeping back in your mind, causing you to cup your ears with your hands, hoping it would silence those thoughts. Thoughts of you - or rather, your blood splattered all across this room if his threat was to come true. 

Unfortunately for you and your anxiety-induced paranoia, you didn’t hear the words spoken beyond your whereabouts in the secret underground of the organization. Not the praising, “You showed ’em boss!” of Mimic as he ran after Kai, having waited dutifully for his superior. “How do you want to proceed? Should we get rid of them right away?”

Kai’s answer was hesitant as he thought about it, unusual for him as he always had quick instructions to give to his underlings. “No,” he eventually said, sternly so. Hand lifting to his neck, he felt the beginning of a new rash prick at his skin, scratching it as he got lost in thought. “The letter’s pretty good; maybe we can use their skill. And we don’t know yet who sent them. They’ll stay.”

He heard the confused and exasperated huff of disbelieve behind him, but his words were final, even if Mimic disagreed. “If they become troublesome, I’ll clean them up myself. No one is to bother them.”

And with that, Kai could devote himself to his thoughts, thinking about all the ways he could purify you. Perhaps, things finally wouldn’t be so boring anymore as you always complained to him on the forum he met you. If anyone, Kai was sure he could make your life much more interesting by his side, once he got rid of your filthiness that unfortunately still caused rashes to erupt from him, even though being so close to you made him feel so alive. 

But first, he’d have to delete the profile he used to trick you right into his clutches, as he couldn’t risk anyone else finding out about your whereabouts once they’d notice your disappearance. After all, it would take a lot of time to reform you, but Kai knew you were worth the trouble.

It was dirty work, but with your potential, how could he refuse if it was you?

[skeezsbbygirl]

call me that too + kim seungmin

this one’s for anon who requested a seungmin scenario with a dash of oppa kink. i didn’t go too overboard hehe, just a sprinkle of a suggestive theme at the end (i’ll leave it to your imagination asdjhfrirgjgl cuz i can’t handle them feelssss ugh)

nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy! oh and thank you for the love that you guys are showing for “peaches + bang chan” uwuuuu (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

REQUEST BOX IS STILL OPEN. STREAM GOD’S MENU AND VOTE FOR OUR BOYS.

[5:12 p.m.] A yawn escaped your lips as you managed to go through all your assigned lectures for the day. You logged out from your university's portal and shut your laptop close, not wanting to stare at the bright screen any longer. You sauntered towards the kitchen and opened the drawer that contained all your caffeine-related pick-me-ups. As you were about to grab a mug, your actions were halted by your phone's ringtone, signalling a call as it rang on the coffee table from your apartment's living room. You managed to accept the call before it was dropped.

SeungMong <3

"Hey," you answered, sauntering back to the kitchen as you cradled your phone in between your right ear and shoulder to keep your hands free. "Baby, are you busy?" Seungmin asked. You shook your head but you mentally facepalmed as you remembered that the boy on the other line couldn't see you, "No. I just finished some school stuff. What's up?"

"Can you come over? Chan-hyung wants to take us out for dinner," Seungmin replied and you could faintly hear Jisung and Changbin screaming in the background -- something about Chan covering food expenses for the first time. You lightly chuckled and responded, "Yeah sure, I'll be there in twenty."

An hour passed and you were all gathered at the boys’ go-to restaurant, which was three blocks down from your university's dormitory.

"Am I dreaming?" Jisung teased as he hopped off Chan's car, Changbin and Jeongin not far behind him. “Somebody drive him back home,” Chan groaned to which the younger one giggled, jumping on his back in the process. “Hyung, come on. I was just poking fun at you,” Jisung cooed at the elder, earning him a light flick on the forehead from Chan.

You beamed at the sight of the boys playfully bickering. “Pay attention to me,” Seungmin whined and nudged your shoulder. You broke into a cheesy grin and gave his cheek a peck, “You always have my attention.”

Seungmin extended a hand towards you, to which you gladly complied, squeezing his hand three times as you intertwined your hand with his -- your silent way of saying ‘I love you’. 

Soon after, you guys were seated inside the restaurant and you fell into each of your own said conversations. 

“How was your day?” Seungmin asked as he adjusted his seat closer to yours. “Better now that I’m with you,” you said in a voice soft with affection. Seungmin chuckled, “Stop it.” You shook your head, leaning closer so that your forehead touched his. “You’re so cute,” you teased, which earned you a pout from the older male. “You do know that I’m a year older than you, right?” Seungmin bragged. You rolled your eyes, “Your point being?”

Seungmin sighed in defeat, opting to plant a kiss on your lips, but you were interrupted by multiple groans and a chorus of complains. “Get a room already!” Felix exclaimed with his hands covering his eyes, a poor attempt to discard the sight of yours and Seungmin’s “sickening” affection, as Minho described it. You stuck a tongue out at Felix, “Stop being so bitter.”

Felix faked sob and Jeongin joined in on his act, embracing the older male and patting his head.

Soon, your playful banter came to an end as your orders arrived. You guys were eating in silence, uttering a compliment here and there towards the dishes that you were served, until Hyunjin called for your attention.

“Oh, (y/n), before I forget,” the older male started, only stopping for a second to sip on his drink. “I found that outline you’ve been looking for,” he continued. “Please tell me you have it,” you pleaded, eager to finish the book review that your professor has quested upon your class a week ago. Hyunjin nodded, “The copy is in the car, I got you.”

You cheered as you reached out your hand to give him a high-five. “You’re the best, oppa.”

With your response, Hyunjin immediately side-eyed Seungmin’s reaction. He might have known something or at least sensed something, specifically when Seungmin blabbered -- well, more like ranted -- about you not calling him the said endearment you just used on Hyunjin a few seconds ago. 

Let’s rewind, shall we?

Hyunjin was an hour away from a deadline, and yes, he admits that he may have finished his project sooner, but a certain someone, who goes by the name of Jisung, decided that it would be more fun to play video games over at Felix and Changbin’s dorm. “That stupid project isn’t even due for another day. Chill out, dude,” Jisung claimed with burgeoning excitement. Instead of turning his friend down -- or better, kicking his tempting ass out of the dorm -- he caved in.

Hours later, he was cramming at least two days worth of work into an hour. Then comes your boyfriend, Seungmin. “Hyunjin!” the younger male called out from their dorm’s entrance. “In here!” Hyunjin hollered, his fingers still hot on his laptop’s keyboard, seven more questions and a descriptive about his said stand on the project, and he’ll be done -- both figuratively and literally, his brain’s slowly pan-frying itself to destruction. He mentally cursed Jisung.

“Procrastination at its finest,” Seungmin mocked as he entered Hyunjin’s room. “You can nag me later, bur right now I have to finish this and then kick Jisung’s ass,” Hyunjin said with firm persistence. The younger lad sighed and sat down on a bean bag at the corner of the room. “I don’t have the energy to nag,” Seungmin whispered, but Hyunjin still managed to catch his words. He jokingly rolled his eyes, finding slight amusement towards Seungmin’s puppy expression.

“You and (y/n), had a fight?” Hyunjin asked, his attention still on his laptop but he figured he needed Seungmin for a little background noise to keep him sane, plus the guy’s one of his best friends. “Not really,” Seungmin disagreed. “Then, what got you all gloomy?” Hyunjin insisted, but he was only met with silence.

“Seungmo, come on, spill.”

“She addresses you as an ‘oppa’,” Seungmin blurted out after a few seconds. “Who addresses me as what?” Hyunjin asked, his eyebrows contorted in confusion. “(y/n),” Seungmin answered as he buried his face in his arms. “Seungmo, you do know that she does that to everybody that’s older than her, right?” Hyunjin replied, “It’s called being polite.”

“Well, I call it being unfair.”

Hyunjin chuckled in amusement, “Please elaborate.”

“You and I are the same age, which means that I’m older than her too, but she doesn’t call me that,” Seungmin whined.

And that’s how Seungmin ended up being silent for the rest of the night. You, being unaware of the situation, shrugged it off, thinking that he was just exhausted from his vocal lessons. Until, Hyunjin decided to let you in on the puppy’s cause of gloominess.

“Here, now go ace that literature course,” Hyunjin handed you the outline he promised, giving your head a pat in the process. “Thank you, oppa.”

“One more thing, (y/n),” Hyunjin said as he leaned down and whispered, “Seungmin wants to be called that too.”

“Huh?” you turned to him in confusion, but Hyunjin just stared at you and decided that you would come into revelation in a few seconds. “Oh,” you gasped, eyes lighting up in the process. “That’s why he’s been acting weird,” you added. Hyunjin smiled in approval, “Do something and wipe that pout off his face.”

The car ride back to your dorm was silent. Seungmin kept his eyes on the road, no words were exchanged between the two of you and he clearly showed no effort of doing so any time soon. You’re slowly running out of time as your building came into view a few minutes later. Seungmin slowly stopped the car and got out, he jogged towards your side and opened the door for you.

Go time.

“I’ll text you when I get home,” Seungmin said. His expression was sad but he still managed to give you a kiss on the forehead. He was about to pull away but you prevented him from doing so by holding his face in your hands. You stared at him lovingly, thanking the universe for bringing this man into your life. 

“I love you, oppa,” you whispered, but loud enough for him to hear you. 

A soft gasp escaped from his lips as his eyes widened, “What did you just call me?”

“Oppa, why?” you giggled and gave his nose a kiss. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel like I’m on top of the world right now, but you never call me that,” Seungmin wondered, his arms now wrapped around your waist, allowing him to pull you closer. “Let’s just say, a little bird told me,” you teased.

“Hwang Hyunjin!”

You laughed, “Don’t get mad at him.”

“Listen,” you called back for his attention, “I don’t call you oppa because I use that on everybody who’s older than me, well close friends of course, but you know what I mean.”

“And you, Kim Seungmin, are not just anybody. You’re my person, my everything, my whole world. You’re special to me and you matter the most,” you explained, pouring your feelings out for the said man. You were about to say more in order to get rid of Seungmin’s doubt, but he cut you off with a kiss.

You guys were practically making out in your dormitory’s parking lot, but it’s the least of your worries right now.

You pulled away first as you tried to catch your breath. “I love you so much, (y/n),” Seungmin confessed, his expression now darker as you witnessed his eyes fill with desire. “And I’ll prove that to you.”

“What do you mean, oppa?”

Seungmin leaned down, his lips dangerously close to your ear. “Don’t test me, baby.”

You whimpered in response, “Do whatever you want. I’m all yours, oppa.”

[ginkgomoon]

I Like You A Latte- Gavin ☕️

Happy blog birthday to @cheri-cheri. Another gift would like to present itself to you! 💙

“The exam is officially over,” you sigh.

All those years of studying and recurring late nights pouring the blood, sweat and tears for you push towards the finish line were all worth it.

You are now free.

Kind of… but not really.

For once, you were outside not catching the train to go university, heading off into another library or exam room. You had thought to savour this rare time to yourself before heading off to find a job. Thankfully, public transport is convenient enough to take you just about anywhere in Loveland City.

With only your phone, wallet and keys in hand, you stroll along the all too familiar building blocks near your home, pondering on where to go for the long awaited first day out by yourself. Should you go for some udon? Bingsoo? Pudding, perhaps?

While breathing in the sweet air of freedom, you admire the city that you grew up in, absorbing the view from down below and up at the infrastructure that the city was so renowned for.

The height, distance and those buildings haven't changed. But you- the stages of your life, experiences and perspectives have. The city almost seemed a little bit more… brighter. More alive. Or maybe… would it be for just this once?

This, you fear.

The glare of the sun continues beating down, its light reflecting off the glass buildings passing its judgement on the entire city. The heat is suffocating and you long for a cool drink or nice air-con to rely on to keep you sane.

A vision suddenly intrudes, presenting the clean pastel coloured store-front of the café that had just opened up nearby. You remember that you had power-walked right past the “WE ARE OPEN” sign on your way home from a past exam to prepare for the final one a few days ago.

You know you rarely enter any cafés at all, but your love for coffee and urge to explore someplace new begin to steer your legs into the walking direction of where you had remembered it to be.

As you soon reach the entrance, the sign you saw from the peripheral of your memory greets you.

“BRUNCH CAFE. WE ARE OPEN.”

You push open the heavy glass door, instantly entering a world of relief. Still in between the two opposing temperatures, you hastily swing the door back and encase yourself in paradise.

You take a moment to briefly scan your surroundings. The café, although it claims to be open, has everything but the barista. It wasn’t as big as the Starbucks down at the shopping centres, but it was humble enough for its size and able to fit all the requirements a café needs.

Soft instrumental music starts to reel you in further, like a siren hypnotising a sailor. You feel... peaceful. Though you wonder if you were hearing the non-diegetic music of the film occurring right in front of your eyes instead of your almost-dream café.

The minimalist designs, the ambience, and the extremely posh and elegant windows that you didn’t admire enough the first time strikes your appeal. You also confirm with yourself that this was the café that you would choose to break the cycle of drinking instant coffees everyday.

Just this once.

On the left side, those posh windows were flaunting on display, and to the right had little cubicles laid out perfect for providing spacious privacy. You marvel at what a genius idea the store owner had to create such a comforting and unique interior for a café. There was not a thing out of place.

Except of course, the barista.

You head over to where the cubicles were waiting and as you turn into the corner, you almost trip over something that looks like… a foot?

Following the coffee-stained sport shoes, your eyes slowly drift up on its owner, locking on a sleeping figure on the seats of the cubicle.

A young man with a soft aura.

You squint in confusion.

The poor cubicle clearly wasn’t big enough to fit his entire body. His hair seems to have fallen into place like dominos having slightly covering his eyelids, and appears to be breathing in a gentle rhythm with his chest following in sync. Your eyes also end up emphasising his jawline as you continue to stare.

His chest- wait.

A little badge on the right corner of his shirt immediately becomes the salient object.

So, he is the barista.

Barista… Gabin?

You lean closer at the words printed out on it.

No, it’s Ga-vin.

Apart from how attractive he looks, you question yourself- why is the barista sleeping during opening hours?

The man’s eyes slowly crack open, like a shell opening to display the pearl from inside, and you finally see his eyes of beautiful amber squinting back at you. Though, you can’t tell if it was because of the bright lights inside the cafe, or if he was solely observing you- and why you were so close to him at this very moment.

“Oh, I am so sorry,” you cry, instantly retracting from your forward-leaning position. Your brain tries to racks up reasons why you two were in this situation incase he asks.

“There was something on your face” or “your foot was in the way” could work. No- “sorry, I’ve never seen another human being before” sounds a lot more believable.

Gavin, the barista, furrows his eyebrows in confusion then seemingly in frustration.

Your body tenses.

It’s coming.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep…” he sighs softly.

You do another quick scan and take that only the two of you were in the cafe now, unless there was another sleeping barista somewhere else you didn’t notice.

“If you're here for coffee, it’s on the house. An apology for what you saw just now…. Just don’t tell the boss if he’s here,” Gavin lightly coughs.

“Oh okay... Thank you. A latte please,” you say, rather not wanting to question it further. For now. But free coffee made by this gorgeous barista? How could anyone refuse this offer? All you did was stare. In that case, you would gladly do it again.

You settle your belongings on the table and catch Gavin rolling up his sleeves, putting on the display of his toned forearms. Luckily, your cubicle entrance was facing the direction of the workbench allowing yourself to watch him set up.

You start to wish for your coffee to be as hot as him.

Scalding hot.

Gavin steadily handles the jug and effortlessly pours the milk into the latte glass with the espresso already inside. Despite your sight of his expertise, he still can’t hide the subtle droopiness of his eyes and the slight furrow of his eyebrows again.

You figure it would be better if you come up to him instead so he wouldn’t have to travel the whole way to your cubicle with his current state being like this.

You gingerly make your way to his workbench while fumbling for a topic to break the awkward silence in your head.

“Is it just you working here today or…?” you ask.

“Is there another hot sleeping barista I should know about?” you continued in your head.

Gavin hands you the transparent cup accompanied by the saucer, a little spoon, a packet of sugar and a complimentary ginkgo-shaped cookie on the side.

The art displayed formed a symmetrical heart with perfect one centimetre foam to present the perfect latte.

“There’s the chef who’s actually the boss of this place but sometimes he dashes in and out. Especially when there’s no customers as of late. I have no idea where he goes, actually. Right now is no exception,” he replies, sweeping the remains of the coffee grounds into the knock box.

“And you do all the work for him? That doesn’t seem fair. Does he allow you to make your own cup of coffee at least?”

“Well, not exactly. I just work over-time till late. Plus, I think my body is practically immune to caffeine by now,” Gavin laughs.

"Me too," you comment.

As tired as he looks, he still has the energy to light up a smile, even with a stranger. His mouth forms an effortlessly handsome arc and you feel something emerging from within your heart, so subtle that you almost think that you could have mistaken yourself as the protagonist in a romance novel.

Though working overtime till late… at a brunch cafe?

You don’t question him any further. You take a whiff at the single delicate-looking plain ginkgo cookie and have a bite. This moment of peace and serenity was offering the much needed break from all that tension and pressure you were under- apart from Gavin being here, though he didn’t seem to mind your presence.

You lean forward to place your elbows on the counter and stare at the coffee in front, frowning a little at the reality of ruining the beautiful heart. You rip open the sugar and pour in half, then give it a stir with the spoon. The foam is perfectly silky and frothy, fusing with the crema like a starry galaxy.

You remind yourself that "it was okay" because this moment would forever remain in your own heart instead. Delicious, creamy arabica coffee.

Like those ginkgo leaves dancing in the wind that autumn day.

You smile at the memory before multiple begin to overlap with another. Ones where you had passed by the senior classrooms catching a glimpse of a boy staring out of the window or down in a random alleyway on your bicycle.

You didn’t think much of it back then either, but he had always looked familiar and seemed to be everywhere you were too. Crossing paths in hallways and even at the library, reading. That upperclassman boy named-

“-Gavin?”

He looks up.

“From school?”

You wonder why you hadn’t realised.

His facial features are now more defined, sharper, and still a head taller than you. Who would have thought the hot barista was actually an old schoolmate. You put your coffee down and internally scream.

“You remember me?” he softly asks.

“Just a little bit. Wait, do you know who I am?”

“Just a little bit.”

Gavin smiles.

You break eye contact and continue drinking, not wanting the coffee to get cold during this exchange. But even now it tastes different than before.

“So, what brings you here?” he asks.

“Taking a break before I find a job. See if any place will accept me…”

“Of course they will. You’re brilliant at what you do. I have no doubts that you will be successful.”

You smile in response, taking in the last of the remaining coffee.

“How do you know? We haven’t seen each other in so long. And I don’t think we’ve ever interacted this much in the past."

“I just do… Trust me.”

You look back up. His eyes light up with so much sincerity that could power a whole entire city’s electricity.

"I never thought I'd see you again," you say.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. You seemed like... you were just so difficult to figure out, especially for people like me who don't know you that well. So I never gave it a second thought either. And now here you are, making my coffee. Anyway, this is probably not making any sense..."

"No, I understand," Gavin states. "In your opinion... what kind of man am I?"

Before you could formulate a proper response, hot heat suddenly finds its way in, corroding with its cooler counterpart and signalling the entrance of another person.

Your eyes catch sight of a tall and handsome man, his aura so dominating that the heat you feel could just be from him instead.

“That’s the boss,” Gavin whispers.

The boss saunters his way in straight towards you two. His black hair matches his suit and tie, making him appear more like a CEO than of a chef.

“Don’t worry, I’m just going to the back to restock some things, I’ll be right back,” Gavin says, shooting you a comforting smile.

While trying to process all of this, your eyebrows are the ones to furrow now instead. How could this boss treat an employee like this? Working overtime without proper breaks? This to you was appalling and certainly see this as an act of injustice. Being the good and lawful citizen that you are, you decide to treat this like one.

“Excuse me.”

Before he enters the kitchen, he turns, offering his full attention to you. You thought you had a good grasp on what you wanted to say, but it seems that your head had disconnected from your voice box.

“Your employee…” you begin, “he seems very fatigued. I think you should be sharing the workload equally instead of leaving the cafe. Haven’t you ever heard of a collegial workplace before?”

His eyebrow lifts- in amusement, mockery or consideration, you don’t know. After all, your words carrying the “sense of justice” did sound a lot better in your head.

“I don’t interfere with anyone’s personal lives,” he said, his deep voice shattering your “prosecution”. But before you could have another go at him, he retreats into the kitchen.

Gavin returns with takeaway cups and lids and sees you standing flabbergasted at your interaction with the boss.

“You okay?”

You reply back with a little “humph” at the direction of the kitchen then turn to Gavin restocking the items on the cup warmer of the coffee machine.

"I-it’s nothing."

After all, this was your first and last time here, and maybe you shouldn't have acted so impulsively on a situation like this. Plus, how would Gavin react if you push the topic further?

You sigh. Hopefully the plan to have a drink and catch up with an old friend later in the night will settle the agitation you feel.

A soft ding is heard from your phone reminding you to get ready to leave.

Perfect timing.

As you reluctantly pack your things, you glance at Gavin’s way, who looks like he’s about to end his shift for the day as well.

You don’t want to be supporting a business owner who treats his employees like this, but yet seeing Gavin this way made you feel helpless. It’s a shame that you won’t see another handsome barista like this again. Or see him again. Or probably enter another cafe at all after this.

“I have to go.”

Your voice interrupts his workflow, and he frowns.

“Now?”

“I have somewhere to be, unfortunately.”

Gavin takes a moment to process this.

“Why don’t you wait till I leave? That way, I can see you off. It will only be a minute.”

More like a minute's time to sob about this man who could have been your boyfriend in a parallel universe. But as long as you won’t be late to meet up with your friend, you agree to wait for Gavin to finish up.

You linger by the entrance, not wanting to intrude his workspace again and steer clear from the awkwardness that could arise from watching him up close.

But after that literal minute, he steps outside with you and the heaviness in your heart starting to simmer back up again. The air already seems to have to cooled down, providing a thankful comfort to your surroundings.

Looking at him now, you almost change your mind. You could maybe see him again when you have time in the future. To... catch up.

Just maybe.

“Thank you for today," you say. You remind yourself to not get too attached, having really not know if you would be ready for all of that, especially for what was to come in the future.

You slowly walk backwards into the direction of your home, back where you need to get ready for the night out again.

“Thanks for coming. It was nice meeting you again,” he replies.

As you turn to leave, in your peripheral vision Gavin tracks forward to cover every step you took away from him, pulling a hesitant arm up to say something more.

But by then, you were already turning the corner and out of sight.

-And after all this time, your thoughts keep returning to those moments.

A couple of hours pass and your mind still orbits Gavin and that café. You wonder if there was something more you could have done or said. Hopefully he didn’t mistake your hurried steps for something else.

You soon arrive at the venue that you and your friend unanimously agreed on, though as you tippy-toe your way through the crowd to spot her, it seems that she hasn't arrived at the agreed time yet.

As you wait, you fiddle with the side of your dress. You decided to go with the classy minimalist look- a black dress and simple ginkgo drop earrings you bought recently. You didn't want to draw any attention to yourself, but you were satisfied that you were well-dressed enough to feel glamorous for the night. However, wanting to avoid the additional heat of the weather sticking on your body like a tattoo, you decide to head in first.

The music gradually becomes clearer and definitely louder as you weave your way through the hallway entrance towards the heart of the club, with the lights dimly lit and its walls enclosed for the darkness to rule.

You haven’t been in a place like this for so long, especially when you got used to the quiet and calm environment of libraries, the home, and the café earlier…

You could feel everyone’s body heat from a good healthy distance away, even at the seat of the bar. You don’t plan on getting drunk tonight, but you know your alcohol tolerance is so low that you figure it would be best if you should order a little fruity mocktail first instead then perhaps have a real drink with your friend when she arrives later.

You give a quick text notifying her of your location and place your phone back into your purse, ready to order.

Darkness continues to stir as you struggle to locate the bartender.

What kind of bartender is this person if they’re not at the bar?

Lights rotate and blind its way in every direction. For a fleeting second, it lands on the person across from you, illuminating those unforgettable eyes and smile of its owner.

His eyes are just as wide as yours.

"It's you."

The barista- no, bartender, was Gavin.

[monsoonblooms12]

Detectives By Chance: Chapter 7- Hide & Seek

Summary of the Series: It was supposed to be a usual weekend for the four. Coffee, fun, friends and love. But an unexpected case changed their lives in a way they had never imagined. A mystery - a murder - many secrets… Will Ethan, Pooja, Alexandra and Mark, be able to survive? Or will the circumstances twist and break their lives forever?

A/N: Okay, let me get this straight. This is ALL Action and Miles being evil. The most happening chapter of the series, and my favourite chapter because it brings out that fighter inside Pooja. Also, a lil bittersweet moment because only 2 chapters are left, and then we are done. (And I am using my Wattpad cover for this chapter because A. I like it! and B. It gives me the dark feels that embody this chapter) Anyway, hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I wrote it!💛

If you enjoy the story, please like it, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going💕

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey X f!MC (Dr Pooja Sharma)

Word Count: about 4.3K

Rating: Teen

Triggers: Curse Words, Mentions of blood, murder Gun Violence

Disclaimer: PB owns most of the characters. I only own the OCs and my MC.

Prompt:- @choicesaprilchallenge2021 Day 14: Now or Never

CATCH UP HERE: Previous Chapter I Complete Series

It took all of her self-control as she prevented herself from throwing away her phone and breaking it into a thousand pieces.

Only the thought, the hope of a chance to save her Ethan, to save Mark and Alex, who were like family to her kept her going.

It was A Now or Never Moment for her.

Seconds later, Pooja's phone tinged. The screen lit up. She unlocked it to see the address that glared from her screen towards her. The address that hid all secrets and all proofs. The address which held the love of her life in who knows what condition.

She got into the car, entered the address on GPS and drove as fast as her driving skills allowed. Her mouth turned dry, face pale, beads of sweat on her forehead, her mind whirling through numerous unpleasant thoughts and a lingering doubt,

Will she be able to save them?

After what felt like a lifetime to her, Pooja arrived at her destination. A mid-sized mansion stood tall amid a deserted locality. The place was so muted, that the silence seemed to make voices. The winds gushed, chilling her bones. She stood in front of the black wood door. The silver handle's shine was unsolicited for her eyes. She took a deep breath.

Do this, for them. They are your family.

The thought repeated in her mind like verses of an orison. She let the ire, the woe to flood her soul and with fortitude and balance, she pushed the door.

He had kept it open.

The door clicked in place as she entered the devil's edifice. The interior was tenebrous, the conspiracy of silence etched deep in every wood and every wall.

"You are here"

The sudden sound caused Pooja to quail. The words resounded throughout the mansion, causing goosebumps to rise on her skin. The sweat on her body contrasted with the rigour of the air.

There was no doubt in her mind. Her caller was here.

Miles Danvers was here.

But... She Looked Around. Where is He? She looked around, maybe it was a mirage. She looked everywhere but there was no sign of him.

"Don't try, You won't be able to see me." The ominous voice struck again.

Another chill ran down her spine. The thought of Ethan being unaccompanied in the devil's edifice with the devil himself was unbearable.

Will I be able to do this?

"Awww, Tsk, Tsk, is little blossom scared? Did I give her a heart attack?" Miles spoke mockingly.

That was the last straw. She would never give him the satisfaction of having scared her. With as much courage she could muster she yelled,

"AHHHH! You ruthless, sinister, cruel, heartless, disgusting monster. What the freaking hell do you want? Why the hell are you doing this? You are a goddamn monster, you are a freaking BASTARD."

She stopped for a breath.

"Not only that, you are a coward. You are a goddamn fucking coward. You don't dare to face the consequences of your actions. Hell, you don't even dare to come out and face me. If you had the courage, you wouldn't do what you have done. Now come out, you ruthless bastard. Get the hell out and come and face me." Pooja screamed hysterically.

"What will you get by yelling at me, hmm? Will Mark and Alexandra be out of jail? Or will you find Ramsey? Which one, huh?"

"You're the one who is responsible for all of this. You disg-"

"Do you want to save them?"

She felt as if her heart had stopped. Her mind pondering with hundreds of thoughts, doubts, yet she waited with batted breath for him to continue.

"Le silence signifie le consentement."

"J'accepte" Pooja muttered. Bloody Show Off

"Hmm. Three Clues, Three tips, Three keys. Three is your lucky number, isn't it? So let's put your luck to test and see if your lucky number is lucky enough to save your dear ones" Miles challenged her with a mock that boiled her blood. Seeing her helpless was utter humour for his soul and he was cackling in joy.

She shouted, hurled abuses, banged her fists, but there was no answer, no reply other than "You are running out of time... Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...."

Her legs were giving out, she felt herself losing her balance, her steadiness. A chance, wasn't that all you needed? She heard her alter ego questioned her.

So good friends, like family, huh? Is this what you do for family, fall and bow to danger without putting up a fight? Is this what you did, when you fought for your mother, give up just like that?

Her sane mind was questioning her. No. She didn't give up then, She will not give up now. Maybe she will never make it out of here, maybe nor will they. But it was better to die fighting for them, than dying without even trying, striving for them.

"Miles", her steady voice, with power and courage, surprised him for a moment, but he wasn't shocked. This was Pooja Sharma after all. One who always stood for the right, even if it would make her lose her dreams.

"I am ready. And I hope you are too."

"Are you sure? This game can take that breath from you."

"Until it does, I will fight. For them"

A part of his mind already knew that she would win. But for his ego, accepting defeat was never an option.

"Fight all you want to. But winning is not an option for you."

"Time shall tell the answer"

"Alright, Two rooms to the left, and your search beginsss."

She ran. The worn-out door refused to give way to her. She pushed, but her strength was not enough. If only you had drunk that milk your mom gave you. Her mind swirled to the thoughts of her mother and she had to give a jerk to come back to the present.

"Seven minutes up already, and you're still stuck at the door. How sad!"

Cursing him under her breath, she upped her power and got ready to give a push just as,

Her fingertips felt a carving on the door. She had been praised for her impeccable sense of touch, but she never knew that it would come in handy in a dire situation one day.

Her mind, her heart, indicated that this was the clue, and she slowly, gently, moved her palm on the door. She got a slight trail of the carving and followed it further a few times. It took her about a minute to comprehend what it was.

A word. TIME. She was looking for something to do with time. But what? The place was so quiet that one would hear the ticking. But she didn't. Although auditory skills were never her strong point after she had a blockage in her left ear and had to go through five doctor visits to clear it, she was sure that there was no analogue clock around her. Her brain cells were running haywire when her shoes rubbed the floor. Sand had been spread around. Consciously.

Because on her trail from the main entrance to the door she was standing in front of right now, she was sure she hadn't felt sand anywhere other than this specific space. This was an indication, It had to be.

Time and Sand, Time and Sand, where do we find time and sand together. Time and sand... Her mind rushed frantically through a dozen options, none fitting the criteria, while Miles smirked at her foolishness.

And then, Oh shit, HOURGLASS! She practically jumped and nearly fell, as she comprehended the answer. With the newfound energy, she pushed the door, and it opened with a BANG! Her hand went to her pocket and she almost shrieked as she felt her phone, about which she had completely forgotten the moment she set her step in here. Taking it out and switching on the flashlight, she trailed into the room. Looking around and tripping on a dozen articles, she finally located the semi-broken hourglass. She held it under the flashlight and the words, upstairs, three rooms right, written in red, came to sight.

She glanced around the room once more, to make sure that there was nothing she was leaving out.

Her eyes stopped their search as her eyes fell on the five drawers of the broken cupboard on which the hourglass was kept. Only one of the drawers was in place, and that made it seem out of place in midst of all the chaos. She pulled at it, Once, Twice, Thrice, before it gave way. A blue file lay inside it. She picked it up, hoping to find some useful information and rushed on to the next step of her search.

On the other side, a corner of Miles's mind was terrified and nagged him to do something before it was too late, and he became the loser of his own game. But he just sat there, not moving an inch, as he watched Pooja running towards her next destination.

The next door, to her surprise, was pretty sturdy and opened easily. No catch this time? Unbelievable. As far as she had come to know Miles Danvers, setting up clues right in front of her eye was a far-fetched possibility.

She double-checked the exterior. Nah, nothing here, she was sure of it. Her silent steps fell on the hardwood floor as she looked around in the room for the clue. Her mind got distracted and worry came flooding back. Will she be able to save them? Was she even going to make out of her alive?

Suddenly, her foot struck something and,

"Twoooo Roooomsss Toooo Theee Rightttt..."

The Echo and her Shriek came almost simultaneously. And with the two sounds, mixed the third one of a cackle, from Miles.

The sudden rush of Adrenaline left her panting.

After a few minutes wasted in overcoming it, she kicked the weird machine once more. The Echo came again, this time clearer than the first one. But since, she didn't trust her ears, or maybe it was just her anger speaking, she kicked it once more.

Two rooms to the right was her next destination. She moved towards the exit, having checked the surroundings already and no clue found.

A few footsteps outside the room later, a thought struck her. She rushed back to the previous room, and using her flashlight, picked up the echo machine and checked it thoroughly.

And right her intuition was! A piece of paper stuck between the lined back. She took it out and unfolded it. It was a code.

M14-6D9

She looked around. There had to be something that opened with the code.

Wow! Such thorough checking! She rolled her eyes, berating her self.

And as she did so, her mind went back to every time Lex had called her the living image of the 🙄 emoji.

A light, sorrowful chuckle escaped her, along with a lone tear.

She let it drop and moved on to complete the mission she had partaken in.

She searched, and Nah, Nothing at all. Pooja doubtfully looked around. Was she missing out on something, or was it just another one of Miles' Red Herrings to mislead her?

Five seconds and temporarily deciding on the second option, she went out to the next room and thought of coming back to this later.

Pooja went to grab the surprisingly well-kept handle, and in a reflex pulled it back. The handle was abnormally hot. It felt out of nowhere. No fire, no nothing, how the hell was the door handle so freaking hot?!

Of Course, she couldn't twist and turn a burning hot doorknob and harm her chances of success. So, she decided on other ways of opening the door. She kicked, pushed, forced it with the tad bit of strength left in her, but the door didn't even budge a single inch.

Her ankle sprained with the forceful kicking, she sat down. Tears rolled down her eyes, but she couldn't decide why.

The pain in her ankle, the fear of failing or a mix of both?

But obviously, No pain greater than letting down those whom you love.

She couldn't comprehend the time she was losing as she sat there, crying silently. She slowly started to rise, but couldn't bother to wipe her tears. Wasn't this what Miles Danvers wanted to see? She let him enjoy his short-lived victory.

Forgetting that the doorknob was hot as hell, she held it, and before she could withdraw her hand, her eyes fell on a cuboidal machine stuck just below the spherical structure.

This time, she did wipe the water from her glassy eyes, to get a better look.

Pooja switched on the flashlight and looked closely at it. So this was the mini devil burning her palm. After a few minutes of scrutinizing the black box closely, her eyes caught a red button on the downside of it. She went on to switch it off, and as soon as she did, the faint, almost inaudible buzz coming from it stopped.

The devil had been silenced.

But she knew that it would take time for the knob to cool down. She searched her jean pockets, and luckily her baby blue handkerchief with a neat P Alekhya has sewn on it was there to save the day.

She folded the kerchief in half and with it tried twisting the knob. A Few failed attempts later, she slowly opened the door.

But as soon as the light fell inside the room, her phone and kerchief, both fell on the floor.

The floor swayed under her feet. In front of her on a one-arm broken couch, lay Ethan.

Her Ethan.

The only light-emitting source of the room now lay covered on the floor, preventing her from taking a better look. And she was shaken to the core by the way events unfolded, layer by layer, that there was nothing to say at all.

Her brain froze, all ideas drowning down the drain, her confidence uprooted by the pain she felt seeing her love like that. A Thousand thoughts spiralling in her mind, but she pushed them aside. Her knee bruised by the fall, her feet wobbled as she tried to get up. Garnering strength on an empty stomach & little sleep was becoming increasingly difficult for her, but she needed to go on.

Giving up was never an option

She got up and decided to look around for a way out of the musty building with Ethan, all while hiding from Miles' eyes. Because he had been keeping an eye on her.

Picking up her phone, she directed the light around the room. Raggedy and Unclean, her fingers clenched around her phone as she felt fury fill in her veins. If she didn't have morals, she would have killed Miles herself at that very instant.

There were no cupboards or drawers anywhere around the room. She strolled around with careful steps and heard dry leaves and glass crunching underneath her foot. Pooja looked at the floor, and seeing its condition, didn't hope to find anything helpful.

That's when her eyes fell on a piece of paper. She picked the dust-coated sheet which had become brown from its originally white colour. She tried opening it up using a single hand but ended up tearing it a bit. Pocketing her phone, she opened the sheet up gently and then took the phone out again. Flashing the light, she slowly went through the contents.

It was a map of the building, and she had never felt as grateful as she did at the moment.

She studied it closely, carefully and located a narrow stairway at the corner of the first floor, i.e. the floor she was on, that would lead her out of the building without having to use the main entrance.

She needed to take E out of here, at any cost. But how in God's name was she going to carry her Dr Giraffe alone, all while making sure Miles didn't have suspicions?

She made his unconscious body sit upright as the couch creaked. This broken shit isn't going to last much longer, she thought to herself. She couldn't take any chances of getting caught. Whatever you have to do, do it quick.

She bent and locked his arms around her neck. Then, she stood up slowly and an Uff! escaped her mouth. Wish I had paid attention to the weight lifting lessons.

Pooja lifted him off the sofa and enclosed his long, really long legs, around her waist. And as she started to walk, she stumbled back and forth, and almost fell, as she gained a stable posture. She slowly got out, making sure her shoes don't prompt the creaky floorboards to begin a musical. She scooted to the farthest edge of the floor and walked quickly to reach the darkest corner.

A walk of a lifetime and approaching the darkness, her eyes struggled to make out the door for the staircase. She trusted her intuition and slowly, very carefully, placed a foot in front of the other, as she made her way down. She worried that E might get hurt, and she would hate herself for the rest of her years if that happened.

The grey light at the end of the staircase was a ray of hope for her. She thanked her past self for parking the car closer to this side of the building as she hurried to place Ethan there. She felt her pockets and found the key faster than her expectation. She opened the passenger seat and placed E down on the floor because as much as she hated it, she couldn't take chances with Miles locating him in the car in case he came for a lookout.

Phew! She was relieved that whether or not she makes it out of the mess she had got tangled in, her love will be safe. Locking him safely in, she rushed back to the mansion.

On her way back, she rushed a bit too much, all while forgetting to switch on her flashlight. She tripped badly on the stairs and fell facedown. When she got up, the coppery taste of blood filled her mouth. She felt a blank space in her mouth. She had lost a tooth.

She made her way back and expressed her gratitude to God for letting her make this trip safely. She remembered to shut the door behind as she left and made her quickly to the room where Ethan was held captive. A mistake she had noticed the time she looked at the map was that she had entered the wrong room.

And it was a four-leafed clover for her.

She closed the door of the forbidden room just as her ears pricked up. Tips & Taps of someone's footsteps made her heartbeat rush as she quickly moved to the actual room she was supposed to be searching.

"Hmmm" Miles arrived behind her, hands in pocket. The room in front of her didn't have a door.

"So are you planning to spend the rest of your life chillin' here? That'll be a wonderful plan!" He mocked her and the list of the number of times Poo had wanted to punch him had just become longer.

"What the fuck do you want?" She hissed.

A lopsided grin told her that he was having the best time of his life tormenting her.

"No, I just wanted to check if you will ever make out of here or not."

"And what conclusion did you arrive at?" She mocked curiosity.

"I think- No, scratch that. I am sure, that this" He gestured around him, "is your Final Destination"

His grim laughter filled the place as he went around, checking his surroundings, especially the forbidden room.

Poo had smartly switched on the Make-Hot machine to avoid any suspicions. Seeing, rather, feeling that the door handle was perfectly hot as hell, he returned, and she let out the sigh of utmost relief.

Her heart was filled with gratitude as she thanked God, over and over again, as things turned out in her favour in a place where she had no resource & no help. Although she still felt as if she had been left on the battlefield without preparation or weapons, she used her skills to pave her way safely.

The last room, surprisingly well-kept, lay open before her. Please let me pass this last one, she let out a silent prayer and went in.

Flashlight on, she looked around. This time it was only evidence and no clues and keeping that in mind she carried on her search. A bed lay at the centre of the room. All around were shelves and cupboards which had been kept to mislead her and make her waste her time. A 40% charge in her phone and the clock telling her that she had only 20 minutes left to get out safely, she hurried away.

Quickly opening one drawer and then the other, disappointment flooded her as she failed to locate any file, folder, hell, even a piece of paper.

At last, all drawers, cupboards done and nothing there at all. She felt let down, her heart palpitated. She sat down on the bed and as she placed her hand, heard the very soft scrunch of paper. The stillness of the surroundings was the reason why she could hear it.

She quickened her actions and lifted all the goddamn blankets, to reveal a bunch of paper, half folded, half-torn. She gathered them all. Suddenly she felt something stuck behind one of the sheets. Turning it revealed a USB drive.

Fuck, this was her gold!

She rushed out, picking the papers and the blue file she had collected from the first room. She remembered to check back the second one and the M something code. When she tried to reopen the door, however, she failed. All her trials went in vain. Unlike last time, the door didn't even budge this time.

And then, the entire manor shook as the roar of a bullet echoed all around her. It had been shot just next to her foot, and she stood frozen at her place. She slowly turned around, and saw Miles, with the evil expression on his face appearing to shine in dim light, standing there with a gun.

Slowly, Stuttering, Pooja asked, "What, what, t-the h, hell do you think you are, are doing?"

"I said I will give you the clues, I never said I will let you get away with them. Why would I invite my danger, when putting you to the deathbed would be much, much, easier?" Miles Danvers hissed.

"You want to do a second murder, lose the chance to save your brother forever?"

At the mention of Mark, Miles did fall a little weak, but that passed in a heartbeat.

"Girl, if I really cared about him, I would have never plotted against him in the first place. Bringing you here, was just a ploy, a mask, so that I can finish all four of you and live my life in peace."

He moved forward, one step and the next, as Pooja tried to run. He held her hand with a bone-crushing grip and twisted her hand to her back and held the gun to her cheek. She tried to free herself as she cried out in pain. Her eyes widened as the cold metal touched her skin.

She had really walked into hell at her own will.

Pooja knew her twisting and turning will not be able to help her a bit. So she tried to remember the self-defence techniques she had learnt in her teens and using her foot, kicked him hard in the groin.

He groaned in pain and his attention shifted. Pooja taking the chance, ran swiftly down the stairs, only to slip down the stairs and land on the ground floor. She incurred painful injuries and couldn't move for a good minute.

Even as she mustered the courage to sit up, her body ached in extreme pain. She must've sprained something real bad. Miles was still withering in pain, and she took the chance to get up and slowly move towards the exit.

She dragged her foot and muttered to herself,

Just one more step, just one more.

This rhyme gave her the strength as she almost made it to the door and then

AAH!

Blood splattered on the ground as the bullet pierced through her left hand, and she held the door to support herself. Tears rushed out of her eyes as Pooja screamed in pain.

At least it was her hand and not her mind that had been hurt. Even in pain, she acted smart. Throwing away the files that she held in her right hand outside, she took out the pepper spray that she always had in her pocket and sprayed a good bit of it at the approaching Miles.

It was her black, powdered dynamite, her most powerful weapon.

Coughing, Sneezing, Stumbling, Miles let out cries of help and the gun was very soon forgotten.

Smirking through her tears, Pooja chanted, It's the end Miles, It's the end.

Getting out of there, She shut off the main entrance door on his face and collected all the papers with her non-injured hand. Dragging her foot slowly, she escaped, pride and contentment filled in her heart.

Whatever she did, whatever pain she received, all paled as she bathed in the joy of the possibility of finally being able to rescue her people, her persons.

She did it, for her family...

You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.

PS: I would have killed Miles myself if given the chance😡 Also sorry for this dark, twisty tale after my birthday. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this mess and here's to hoping that you have a wonderful day ahead🧡! Love You!

Tags (Please let me know if you want to be added or removed!): @bbrandy2002 @whimsicallywayward15 @ohramsey @nervoussaladsludgeopera @trrfanaddict @hopelessromanticmonie @ilikemenbutonlyethanramsey @lovablegranny @bellcat2010 @gkittylove99 @kingliam2019 @starrystarrytrouble @3riche @chetachisblog @zoehanji @withbeautyandrage @drariellevalentine @mvalentine @aestheticartsx @angela8754 @schnitzelbutterfingers @ao719 @choicesstan1 @neotericthemis @arnikki-2406 @anotherbeingsworld @maurine07 @sophxwithers @twinkleallnight @choicesaddict5 @gardeningourmet @mysticaurathings @jessiembruno

[simplyshelbs16xoxo]

'Madder Than a Hatter' Chapter 3: Running from the Madhouse

FFN | Ao3 | Buy Me a Coffee?

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As soon as morning arrived, Hatter and Charlie set off, deep into the thicket of the woods. They were heading north for the untouched Wastelands. It originated from an even darker time in Wonderland’s history, hundreds of years before Hatter was born, decades before the first Alice of Legend tumbled down the rabbit hole. It was once called the Kingdom of Souls, ruled by a ruthless Queen who could make Mary Heart look like a helpless puppy. Her subjects were frightened of her, mad as she was. The White Queen in the southern region had aided in freeing the citizens, sending out armies to help them fight back.

Depending on who told the story, the Queen of Souls had either been strung up on the hanging tree or she escaped, never to be seen or heard from again. Hatter sincerely hoped it was the former. If she did find a way out, it could be possible for her to still be alive. Wonderlanders live much longer than otherworlders, though only if they remain here. Hours passed riding through the forest, and they finally came across a small lake. They stopped to let their horses drink and filled their own canteens with water.

“How much longer do you suppose it’ll be before we reach the Wastelands?” Hatter asked, taking a sip. He then removed his hat, sliding a hand through his hair.

Charlie paced around the area slowly, his hands posed as if ready to grab something. He was getting a feel of the area, not having been this far north before. He took a large intake of breath. “Galadoon…de boosh.” His eyes closed as he consulted with the Oracle. Though it was only seconds, it had felt like minutes, hours, to Hatter. “We should be there in no more than a day, Harbinger.”

A whole day. Twenty-four hours. Who knew what could happen to Alice in that time. He felt sick, his throat tightening with nausea. Even if she was still alive by the time they found her, would she even be Alice anymore? Maybe not, but at least her heart would still beat. Hatter would love her regardless. They just needed to get to her as quickly as possible. Though he wasn’t a praying man, Hatter prayed to the gods of old, asking them to protect her until he could take over for them. “Please,” he begged, “let her be alive.”

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Locked from the outside, Alice wondered if one of the bobby pins in her hair would work. She quickly got to work on freeing herself from the dismal room. Screams continued to echo through the halls outside. Were they real? Or were they a hallucination? The water had been tampered with, its sole purpose to poison her mind. Eventually, she’d get a grip on reality—she hoped so, anyways.

A click sounded and she smiled like the Cheshire Cat. Slowly, she opened the creaking door, wincing at the sound and hoping no one heard it. Well, if anyone was actually here. Alice was beginning to suspect that not all was as it seemed. It was bad enough she couldn’t remember how she got there. Even worse, she couldn’t remember the man who helped her in her dreams. But maybe that’s all he was—a dream. There wasn’t time to think of that now. She took a tentative step out into the hall, observing her surroundings. Whoever locked her up didn’t appear to be around and neither was the one who brought her food, pills, and water.

The sound of a saw cutting through bone reverberated in the walls. The asylum would be a bit difficult to navigate with a semi-dense fog impairing her sight. Someone’s unsettling laughter sent chills down her spine. Alice took a deep breath, plunging herself down the hall to her right, amongst the fog and the shadows. She kept her back to the wall, her hands feeling around for corners to go around. Slowly she crept, making sure to not creak the wooden floors too much. Her fingers made contact with a metal handle and the entire door shook, the sound of fists pounding on it causing her to nearly jump out of her skin.

“Screw this,” she panted, quickly making her way down and around. There was an elevator just across the way. Alice took a quick glance in every direction before sprinting towards it, pressing the button. Footsteps from afar caught her attention. She took shallow breaths as the sound grew louder. The elevator had yet to make it down to her. Listening as the steps grew closer, louder, Alice prepared to fight, thankful she could at least remember that. The doors suddenly opened, ready for her to make her escape. Whoever the footsteps belonged to was now running and Alice frantically pressed the buttons to get the elevator doors to close. A resounding screech sounded as the doors shut and the lift began to move.

Soft whispers filled her head as she slowly moved down. There were so many voices; she couldn’t decipher a single word. Seeing she was almost to the ground floor, Alice began to breathe easier. And then she heard a snap. She was falling. Down, down, down until she crashed down on the basement floor.

Miraculously, she hadn’t been hurt. The doors still opened, revealing a dimly lit hall. An old rickety bed was positioned up against a wall. There was a trail of dried blood on the floor having probably seeped into the wood long ago. Old music was playing on a gramophone, echoing down the hall. Despite the distorted sound, Alice recognized the song as Sam Cooke’s ‘You Send Me.’ It gave her the creeps. Normally, a sane person wouldn’t follow a trail of blood, but Alice knew she had to. Either she would find answers or a way out. It was a risk she would just have to take.

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Just outside the edge of the Wasteland Woods, Hatter and Charlie took a moment to prepare for the perilous journey that lie ahead. The branches swayed in a breeze they wouldn’t feel until they stepped foot in the darkness. The trees were beckoning them, whispering nonsense to lure them inside the thick canopy of limbs and dead leaves that still hung desperately to the wood. A creeping chill hung in the air, giving its possible next victims a taste of what’s to come. Slowly, on their horses, they crossed over into the unknown.

“You could always turn back ya know,” Hatter said, checking to see if Charlie was up for it. With a firm shake of the knight’s head, they continued through the thicket. It was unsettling just how silent it was, as if there were nothing outside of the Wastelands. A slight breeze came through, shaking the branches where it tore away a few crunchy leaves.

Charlie quietly sang his song, still keeping an ear out for Alice or any dangers lurking in the woods. There was a cry reverberating through the trees, setting their teeth on edge. “Was that…Alice?”

Not wanting to believe it, Hatter ignored the question. “Let’s keep going. We don’t stop until we reach the asylum. If we’re separated, the woods will win.”

And whatever lurked in the shadows, if anything, would surely be out to get them as well. It was important to remain diligent. Every whispering voice, every rustle of the trees had them a little jumpy. They dared not rush through despite wanting to get in and out as quickly as possible. For an hour they remained on their path before the singing began. The voice was powerful, the song haunting. It could be heard all throughout the woods.

“Harbinger…” Charlie said with a quiver in his voice. “Could that be”—he lowered his voice—“the Queen of Souls?”

Hatter took a deep breath. “Possibly. C’mon, then. Perhaps just a bit quicker, yeah?” As they picked up the pace, a figure popped in and out of the trees. Neither of them noticed they had been followed the entire time.

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Alice traveled deeper into the asylum, underground and utterly alone. There had to be a way out of there. She turned the corner at the end of the hall. The trail of blood stopped. It looked almost as if someone had been dragged while bleeding out. A sound from further down alerted her. Someone was there. They were laughing wildly, crazed. Alice briefly considered turning back. Instead, she marched on, determined to break free. Down at the end of the hall, there was a tree growing through the floor. She looked down, just now realizing that the wooden floor had changed into dark grass. There was a pair of glowing yellow eyes nestled between the bare branches and a wide, illuminating smile.

“Which way to go, which way to go—up above or down below?” the mysterious figure sang. In spirals, it was revealed he was a cat with purple stripes, varied in different shades. “Though you have been drugged and kidnapped, the one thing you’re not is trapped. Quick! Through the hole, before she takes over the palace. Our only hope is Hatter and Alice.”

She furrowed her brows, curious over the creature. “I’m Alice, but I’m afraid I don’t remember much of the past few months. It comes in fragments, but not enough to make sense of anything. Who are you?”

The cat took hold of his ears with his tail and lifted them up like a top hat. “The Cheshire Cat, at your service.”

“Wonderland,” she mused. “I remember being here before—in this world, not the asylum. You said something about a hole…I don’t see one.”

The Cheshire grinned, looking up at a hole in the ceiling. “Up and over, in the hole; hurry along before the Queen takes your soul. Right you are on a forked path; choose quickly or face her wrath.”

A loud bellowing scream alerted Alice. She looked behind her. Nothing was there, but she could hear someone coming. “Cheshire,” she turned back to the tree, but he was gone. There was no time to spare. Alice climbed the tree to reach the hole in the ceiling. She pulled herself up and over into a solid tunnel. Crawling along as quickly as she could, Alice tried to see exactly where she needed to go. It was terribly dark. She continued to go along the narrow path until her hands slipped at the edge of another hole, and she screamed as she fell into the darkness.

[justsomevoltronstuff]

FINALLY SOMEONE WITH OPEN REQUESTS THANK YOU 🥰🤗 This will suddenly take a dArK tUrN- can you do a Paladins (and Allura) x dying reader? Haha idk but I'm in it for the angst and crying 👌👏 You seem like a wonderful person so keep on being wonderful (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

my cousin gave me the BIGGEST judgemental side eye when she asked what I was writing about and I told her character deaths, I’m tryna not to fite, y’all I ain’t gonna lie imma throw hands frfr

also, so sorry this took so long, I’m pretty sure I rewrote it like five times tryna get it to my damn satisfaction (which is such a nasty habit, don’t reread you’re own shit if you want an honest opinion on it y’all)

also also, I’m on mobile rn so I can’t cut it so just so all y’all know:

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO DEATH/GRIEVING. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT DEATH AND GRIEF AND IT IS MAJOR SAD BOI HOURS AND I WORRY ABOUT YALL AND DONT WANT YOU READING THIS IF YOU KNOW YOU WONT HANDLE IT WELL😤😤😤

this is a long one bois so if you wanna skip around they’ll all be colored as per usual and the order is: Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Keith, Pidge, Allura

please enjoy lovers🥺💜🌸

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The battle wasn’t an easy one by any means, it was touch and go for the whole team. You knew it wasn’t gonna end well, but that had never stopped you from putting forth your all. You swung your weapon, keeping your enemies at bay as much as you possibly could. Your team was all over the place, the enemy having succeeded in separating everyone in hopes of tipping the odds in their favor. It worked.

You couldn’t keep up alone. Fighting had always been instinct to you, you had never felt so overwhelmed as you had in that moment. They were closing in and you had nowhere left to go and no tricks left up your sleeve. You were stuck, and there weren't any quick enough plans to keep you out of harm's way this time.

You held your ground for as long as you could, refusing to give in easily. You fought until your limbs were too exhausted to move and your breathing was too shallow to continue. It was in a moment of hesitation from sluggish movements that they finally overtook you, and you felt pain spread through you, worse than any you had ever felt before.

You heard shouts of panic, you listened as the battle got thicker and the enemy retreated, you smiled at the sound of victory. Your team shouted in excitement, another battle well fought, another win for Voltron.

Attempting to sit up, you felt pain rush your body once again, causing you to groan. Your team's cheers quickly died down as they took in your situation. Before you knew it, your head was being cradled by the person you wanted to see the most at this moment. Their eyes were filled with concern and tears were brimming. You attempted a soft smile, in hopes of comforting them. Your breathing was shaky as the brushed your hair away from your eyes.

“You’re going to be okay.” They promised.

Your last thoughts were of your family, earth, the realization you’ll never feel rain on your face again, of your team, who you hated abandoning, and finally, of the one person you hated leaving the most. You knew you weren’t making it out of this one, you despised you were going to pass in their arms. You wished you could turn back time and fight a little harder, you wished things could be different, that you could live the life the two of you dreamed together.

“Don’t blame yourself.” You whispered in response.

They shook their head in defiance. “Don’t talk like that. We’re gonna get you to the castle and into a med pod and you’re going to be good as new in no time.”

You shakily lifted a hand and brushed a tear from their cheek. “I love you.”

Their face was filled with pain and you knew the only thing keeping them from losing it was this being your final moments. “I love you.” They responded, their voice cracking. They leaned down and gently pressed their lips to yours.

You felt everything around you becoming further and further away.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered out to your team as you took a final shaky breath, your senses being overwhelmed as you felt yourself fading.

Shiro

The tears kept flowing as he watched the light fade from your usually bright, curious eyes. He pulled you into him as he sobbed into your shoulder, wishing you’d wrap your arms around him and tell him everything was okay, that there was no reason to cry. But you didn’t, and you never would again. Your team surrounded the two of you, tears running down their cheeks as well as they watched their leader completely break in front of them, their friend tucked in his arms unmoving.

He tried to move on. He knew you wouldn’t want him blaming himself or wallowing in misery on your behalf. He mourned you, he still does, but he needs to keep leading the team, he doesn't have time to let the memories of you being by his side drag him into complete uselessness.

It was hard, it took a long time, but eventually he could remember you, his lover, his everything, without crumpling immediately.

When the team got back to earth, it was raining. He stood outside, face tilted to the sky, just letting the water drench him. The rain reminded him of you, you always told him it was what you missed most about earth.

It was as he stood outside, head facing the endless clouds, lighting striking in the far off distance, enduring the first rainstorm he’d felt since before the Kerberos Mission, that he smiled for the first time since the morning before your final battle.

Lance

Once you had taken your final breath and your gentle hand slipped off his, all composure he had left was out the window. He screamed and sobbed in the middle of that battlefield. His team knew he had a tendency to keep his emotions at bay, so watching him break over your body, knowing there was nothing they could do to help him, was heartbreaking. They all shared his grief, but none on a level even close to him.

You had been his rock, you helped him keep sane and reminded him he wasn’t a horrible person. He sobbed harder as he remembered how excited you were to meet his family once all of you went back to earth.

After a while he just, stopped. He had run out of tears, he had his moment of grief, he had to stand tall and move on now. Or at least that’s what everyone saw. Every single day of his life, he blamed himself. If only he hadn’t let himself get separated from you, if only he’d gotten to you a little sooner, if only, if only, if only. In the end, he knew there was no changing the outcome, but that didn’t stop him from imagining worlds in which you were still by his side.

He never thought he’d dread finally going home, but as the team landed, and a woman that looked eerily familiar came rushing from the building towards them, he felt himself snap. HE crashed to his knees as the woman came up to the group, looking around at each of them.

“Where are they?” she demanded. “Where is my child?” She had tears in her eyes as she noticed Lance on his knees, holding back tears and hugging himself.

“I’m so sorry ma’am,” Shiro started but she just shoved him away.

“You let them die?! My child died in outer space, surrounded by a bunch of strangers, and you didn’t even try to save them?!” She had tears rushing down her cheeks. “Who do you even think you are? Do you think you deserve to ball up because of them? You don’t even know them! No, nevermind, yes, you do deserve to be down there, not out of pity, but out of remorse. This is all your fault, all of you! My child never should’ve come to this stupid place.”

He flinched as he took in the woman's words.

“That is enough ma’am. Your child died honorably, saving people, and they were our family. We aren’t just some strangers, we’re the people your child died for. So, in all due respect, I suggest you back away from your child's mourning lover and stop slandering the life they died protecting.”

Everyone shut up in shock as Keith put your mother in her place, causing her to take a deep shaky breath, tears slipping from her eyes at last as she took in his words.

Hunk

Your hand slipped out of his as your eyes fluttered shut for the final time. He didn’t rage, he didn’t scream or burst, he just silently held you a little longer, his tears running down his cheeks until they ran dry. He didn’t have the energy to leave you yet, he never thought you’d be the one to go first.

The team didn’t know what to do, Hunk had always been the emotional one of the team, never being shy with showing his feelings. He wore his heart on his sleeve without regret, but now, he just looked emotionless.

He tried to distract himself. He threw himself into engineering projects and every mission the team ran he put everything he had into completing. He stopped cooking all together, every time he even so much as looked at the kitchen door, his heart would break slightly more. Memories of the two of you spending hours in that room, cooking with space goo and assorted ingredients you found. It hurt too much to attempt doing something you were both passionate about without you.

He was silent as they finally made it back to earth, his family welcomed him home, having adr him his favorite dessert and everything, but he just didn’t have the heart to enjoy it. The two of you had spent countless hours sharing stories and memories and things you wanted to eat when you finally made it back, and that banana cake had been the one thing you couldn’t wait to try.

He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he could change the past. It was difficult for him to find something to fight for, a future without you having been something he hadn’t considered since the two of you met at the Garrison all that time ago. He came to the conclusion that his heart would never recover, but that wouldn’t stop him from fighting for the future you so easily described to him, a future where aliens and humans could live in peace, where the Galra weren’t an enemy, where the two of you could live out blissful lives together, having done your time in a war that wasn’t supposed to be yours.

Keith

His breath got shallow as yours ceased, his heart racing as your own stopped all together.

“This can’t be happening. Y/n please! Please open your eyes. Please,” his broken sobs echoed as the Paladins watched him plead with your lifeless body.

They didn’t know what to do. The normally stoic red paladin was shattering before their own eyes, more emotions flooding him than they expected to be possible. It was heartbreaking to say the least.

They had all lost one of their own that day, but none felt it more than the broken boy.

You were his family. You stuck by him on earth when no one else would, you left the Garrison with him just so he wouldn’t be alone, where there was him, there was you, and now you were gone, and he didn’t know how to cope without you.

He changed. He was already pretty closed off from the rest of the team, he never really smiled a lot, he wasn’t an extremely emotional person, but after his outburst that day, he completely shut off everything. Jokes that Lance would tell that would once make him smirk fell on deaf ears, even Hunks cooking and Shiros dadly advice didn’t pull him out of it.

The team learned to just work around his new behavior, wishing he’d go back to being a hothead or something. Anything.

He pushed his hardest on every mission, fighting as though he had absolutely nothing left to lose, because, in his mind, he didn’t. He felt alone in a universe out to get him, he knew he had friends, a team, even family now, but he didn’t have you, and nothing would be the same because of that. He would never be the same reckless, hotheaded, careless red paladin he once was, because he did all of that stuff knowing you’d either back him up or smack him upside the head.

Everyone told him time would ease the pain, but as he brought flowers to the memorial grave they created for you, on the anniversary of that day, he knew that no amount of time given to him would ease the pain he still felt. Because he was too painfully aware that all of that time given to him was time taken from you.

Pidge

Pidge was never exactly one to attach to people, not really, and definitely not so emotionally. Attachment to robots? Sure. But human beings were a whole lot more difficult. Which is why when the two of you admitted to being in a relationship, no one saw it coming or knew what to expect, it was completely uncharted territory.

And now, as Pidge was hovering over your body, swearing to find a way to help you, they once again didn’t know what to do.

Pidge sobbed and made halfhearted promises, telling you that you were going to be okay, but knowing you weren’t, and you never would again. It took the entire team to pry Pidge off your dead body, Pidge immediately begging them to let go, just needing to be near you.

After the shock of it all wore off, Pidge holed up in the garage/workspace, working on this project and that, trying desperately to keep distracted, but nothing worked. Every single thing held a memory, every memory brought you back to life, and every memory would ease and you would just vanish all over again.

Countless nights were spent wrapped up in your clothes, with your blanket, in your/on your side of the bed, weeping into the familiar smell of you. Pidge didn’t express emotions very well, but it was obvious this time. The distracted mindset, the distant gazes, the quiet sobs no one else was supposed to hear, all of it made it glaringly obvious that Pidge was not okay.

Pidge took to wearing your clothing more often than not, determined to keep any and every part of you alive so the memories of you would never fade.

Pidge was never one to attach to people, but Pidge also never imagined a life where you weren’t in it.

Allura

She watched you drop from the other side of the battlefield, a heartbreaking shriek escaping her throat as she watched you fall. In her mind you were supposed to be invincible, you were her wonderful significant other that gave her a reason to keep going, you were always telling her that everything was gonna turn out the way it’s supposed to, that the two of you were gonna make it through anything that could possibly be thrown your way.

She ruthlessly fought her way to you, no longer caring for leaving as little harm as possible. They hurt you, they didn’t deserve her sympathy. Once she finally got to you, the battle had ended and the other Paladins had joined her in surrounding you.

“Help me get them to the pods.” Allura pleaded, clutching your lifeless body. “They have to be okay. They can be healed, we just need to get them to the pods.” She was frantic, emotional, scared, and panicking.

Keith gently grabbed her shoulder. “They’re gone, Allura. They’re already gone.” The Red Paladin pulled her into his arms and let her release everything that day.

Everything following was a blur. The team moved forward with plans and missions, Allura never missing a beat. There were points when the team was concerned with how well she seemed to be doing, she lost her lover and was seemingly perfectly okay. But late at night, if they listened close enough, they could here the stifled, choked sobs of the princess as she got out all the pent up emotions in preparation for the next exhausting day of not letting her personal life interfere with the mission.

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I might be the only one that got emotional™️ during this one, but I hope you all enjoyed🌸

~Admin Rori💜

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Field of Poppies Part 16

Summary: After being apart for six years, childhood friends Tommy and Amelia reunite under odd circumstances. Tommy is an outspoken young man and Amelia is pregnant and out on the streets. The bond of family can be unbreakable but it is tested often. Especially when Europe descends into war.

Part 16: Some news comes to Amelia and she’s not sure how to handle it without Tommy by her side. 

            Two more months went by. Amelia heard often from Tommy. Every week or two she received a letter and replied immediately. She told him about everything she could think of. Anything that might bring a smile to his face, to ease his burden. Whatever she could do to remind him of home and give him hope for the future. She told him the funny things Max did, the little quirks in his blossoming personality.

            He refuses to go to bed unless I’ve checked under his bed for monsters. I think Finn might have been telling him some stories.

            He’s fascinated by baby Wilbur. I don’t think he believes me when I tell him he was a baby once. His reasoning is, if he can’t remember it, it never happened. I showed him the photograph of when he was a baby, only six months old. He couldn’t be convinced that it was him.

            It’s strange. It feels so long ago, yet, it only feels like it was yesterday. I often wonder where all that time went.

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            “Breakfast, Mel?” Martha was in the kitchen when Amelia and Max came into Six Watery.

            She went to answer that, no she wasn't feeling very well so she didn't have much of an appetite. But instead, she was immediately hit with a strong smell. Her stomach turned and she dropped Max’s hand so she could rush upstairs to the bathroom.

            Polly heard retching from down the hall, so went to investigate. “Oh, heavens.” She found Amelia at the toilet. “Easy.” She soothed and pulled the young woman’s hair back away from her face. Dread came over the woman as she realized her earlier intuitions were confirmed. “Dear, I think you and I need to have a talk.”

 ~~~~~~~

            “Letter, Tom.”

            Tommy took the letter from the passing soldier and felt relief wash over him. The same relief he got every time Amelia’s letters arrived. Despite being in the middle of trench warfare, he had her letters to keep him sane.

            Tommy,

            I must admit it hasn’t gotten much easier these last few weeks. I still miss you more than I can ever describe. Everything reminds me of you. Max always asks for you. It’s hard to bear sometimes. But I manage to get through every day.

            I have news. I want so desperately to be happy but I’m so heartbroken that you aren’t here so I can tell you in person. But Polly believes I’m pregnant. It may be too early to know, but I don’t want to question her either. The signs seem to match up with the timing.

            I don’t know how to feel any more if I’m being honest. I need to hear back from you as soon as possible. I hope you and everyone else is safe. I miss you all. I will write you a longer letter when I've gathered my thoughts. But for now, I needed you to hear the news. 

            Love, Amelia

             Tommy wasn’t sure what to say as he stared blankly at his wife's handwriting. The urgency he felt to return home was only heightened. He carefully folded up the letter and put it in his rucksack.

            “Tom?” Arthur was sitting nearby, his back up against the wall of the trench.

            “Mel’s pregnant.” He replied before his brother even needed to ask what was wrong.

            He frowned and passed his brother a cigarette. “You think she’s going behind your back while you’re away?”

            “No.” Tommy shook his head adamantly. He took the cigarette and lit it with a match. “She’d never do that. Never. It makes sense, I suppose.” He mumbled to himself. “She’d be about three months along.”

            Arthur nodded. “Well, guess we can try to get you back by the time the baby’s born.” He smiled slightly, trying to give his brother hope.

            But there was little hope left in the trenches. In those damn tunnels. At that point, Tommy could only hope he found his way back to Birmingham alive. Asking for anything else would be wishful.

   ~~~~~~~~~~        

            Around five at night, Polly closed up the betting shop. The other girls had gone home but Martha and Amelia remained.

            “Well, Pol, you did say she could have the next baby,” Martha said, trying to keep the atmosphere light. In all other times, the news of a baby would be such a happy occasion. But those days, nothing seemed to be good news.

            Amelia tried to laugh but she couldn’t even muster a smile. Every muscle in her body felt heavy. There was no use trying anymore. “I feel like such a monster.” She mumbled.

            “Why?” Her sister-in-law asked.

            “Because I don’t want to be pregnant.” She put down her pencil to rub her tired eyes. “I don’t want to be pregnant without Tommy here. I’m not ready to raise two children alone.”

            “You’re not alone.” Polly insisted as she walked over to the table, setting the keys down.

            “You know what I mean.”

            Martha looked to Polly, sharing a concerned look. It would only be a harder pregnancy if Amelia fought herself the whole time. They couldn’t make it any easier for her though. They couldn’t magically wish Tommy home. If they could, the war would’ve ended weeks ago. It never would have started to begin with.

            “You told him?” Polly asked, sitting down.

            “I sent a letter two days ago. I haven’t told Max. I don’t know what to even say.”

            “You don’t have to think about it right away. You have plenty of time.”

            Amelia nodded but she disagreed. Six months wasn’t enough time. She hoped every day that she’d get the news Tommy was coming home. But for whatever reason, maybe common sense, she didn’t see him home by the time six months was up. With every passing day, it felt like more and more time would pass before she saw him again.

            Tears flooded her eyes as the worst scenarios came to the forefront of her mind. “What if it’s years?” She let out a quiet sob. “What would I ever say to the child? What if he never comes home?”

            “Hush, now.” Polly wrapped an arm around her. “There’s no need to think of such things.” She soothed even though she knew these things were not outside the realm of possibilities. “You know that stress will only make things more difficult for you. You need to remain optimistic. You have a family that will be with you the whole way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

            Amelia’s image kept invading Tommy’s nightmares. This would be startling alone because he never associated her with terror. She had always been a dream come true. But in the trenches, she joined his worst fears.

            He saw her face on the soldiers who he’d seen die. He heard her voice screaming for him from the depths of the tunnels. The worst one came after a few days of little to no sleep. He finally got a chance for shut-eye and his worst fears descended upon him.

            Amelia had come into view, looking as she normally did back home. But in her arms, she was carrying Max.

            Help

            Max was torn apart, almost as if he was mauled by a wild animal. Blood poured down Amelia’s arms as she carried their son to him.

            Help

            Tommy couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything to save his son.

            Help

            As she got closer, Tommy could see Max was still alive. His eyes were open and he was breathing.

            Daddy?

            Tommy awoke in a cold sweat, screaming. It took both Jeremiah and Danny to quiet him and stop him from thrashing around. From that point on, Tommy never wanted to sleep again.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~

            “Hold still, Max.”

            “Mummy, I want to see it!”

            “No, love, this isn’t our camera. We can’t break it. Now, please stay still.”

            “Mummy, I won’t break it, I wanna see it!”

            “Max.” Amelia looked up from the camera lens with a stern look. “I said no. Now please, stand still. If you’re moving all over the place then the photograph will come out blurry.”

            The little boy crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. His mother raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that what you want to send to daddy? You want to send him a photograph of you making a face?” It was difficult to be frustrated with him. Such a sweet little boy with chocolate-colored waves of hair and lovely hazel eyes. Even when he made such a face, he was precious. Truly, he was the apple of Amelia’s eye.

            Max pulled a pout for another few moments before deciding to smile.

            “There’s a good boy. Now, stand still for just a second. I want to make sure it comes out perfect for daddy.”

            It had been a week and she had yet to hear back from Tommy regarding her letter about the pregnancy. But Amelia was trying to stay optimistic. It usually took a week for the letter to get to Tommy, and another week to get a response, should he write back immediately. Usually, he did. But she figured that maybe this time, he would need some time to think. It couldn’t be easy to process such information. Amelia was still having a hard time thinking about the baby and she wasn’t in the middle of an active battlefield.

            She had already sent a picture of herself and Max before but they were ones she already had. The one of Max was only a few months after he was born. She borrowed a camera from a friend to send a more updated photograph.

~~~~~~~~~~

            A couple of days later, as she tucked the photographs into an envelope along with a letter, Amelia thought about what Tommy might do when he opened it. She longed to see the smile on his face when he saw the picture of Max doing his best to stay perfectly still for the camera. Maybe he would show the others around him. She longed to see the pride in his eyes when he told the other soldiers that was his son. His Max. Maybe he’d tell him the news. His Amelia was pregnant again. He’d be having another child. Perhaps he’d speculate. Wonder if it was a girl this time or another boy.

            A teardrop fell onto the envelope as Amelia sat at her desk in the betting shop. If she couldn’t be there for him, to comfort him, then the least she could do was try to put a smile on his face. Even for the briefest of moments.

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @biba3434 @kimmietea @karmezii @enrapturedbythemoon @vampgirl1997 @tarafaithe​ @evelynshelby​

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Masterpost

PB Masterlist

[dragon-flies-72]

Now that that's over with if I hear another person say

"I think theres a disconnect"

For the rest of this goddamn year then I'm going to commit a crime.

Goodnight, I'll see you all next year

[sirianisrock]

"I'll always come back to you"

Okay I wanted to write this as a little gift to a special person I met like,a month ago in here. She's the kind of friend everyone should have in its life,I love her so much and she'd been here for me in some of my hard moments. This is the first real fiction I write,it's not that good of course but I tried my best.

This is for you baby @nothing-but-a-comedy

Summary : After escaping from Arkham Asylum,the first thing that crosses Joker's mind is his kitten. He's gonna come back to remind her who she still belongs to.

Warnings : Smut, poor English since it's not my first language (sorry),a little long maybe, this is Heath Ledger's Joker.

It's been 3 weeks.

Batman took Mr.J away from you 3 long weeks ago. You've been crying so much,you thought you could never see him again..how would you live now? What could you do to help him out of that fucking prison?

You could do nothing but cry,and the thought of him not being there with the person he loved the most was consuming you.

Your days were now even longer than usual,there was nothing and no one waiting home for you after work,no one to dedicate your life to,nothing that kept you sane anymore.

"..Will I go crazy?" You asked yourself while tears kept running down your red cheeks; you were sitting on the couch of your and Joker's shared apartment,looking at emptiness while drowning in your own thoughts,in the silence of the living room. There was only a little weak lamp on,that made enough light for you to not be in total dark. You felt so exposed,unprotected and cold without Joker by your side..you were now so used to him (even when he was out till late night) that you couldn't imagine your life without him anymore at this point. In his craziness,he kept you sane,alive. He made you feel loved and worth like nobody else did in your life,even if he never was the most sweet and affectionate person..but he always tried to,for you,his kitten.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't bother switching on the tv. That prevented you to see the news: "..some patients escaped the Arkham Asylum after a big unkown explosion a few hours ago. Most of them were threatened by the police but some even more dangerous escaped and are now free in Gotham,The Joker included.."

You decided to stay on the sofa,too weak to get up and go to bed,so you leaned down,head resting on a pillow and eyes fixing the void.

It was 1am. Your eyes were heavy and red from the unstopped crying you had and all the tiredness that affected your body. Since your lover was taken away,you couldn't sleep properly,if you were lucky you slept a few hours every night,your mind too busy thinking of him.

Suddenly something took your attention: you heard footsteps in the hallway behind the walls of your apartment. They were slow,heavy..and they stopped right in front of your door. You sat up slowly, able to see the shadow of the person standing behind it from below the door. Was someone trying to break in?

The thought of it made you shiver in fear,knowing that this time no one was here to protect you. You were so scared you could only stay still and wait for something to happen.

Bang! A crash made the door wide open loudly and you jumped in fear,standing up next to the couch shaking as a leaf.

The sound of a chuckle.

"Did my kitten miss me?"

Joker was standing at the entrance of the apartment,looking straight at you. You were so shocked that you couldn't get the words out of your mouth,but tears started coming out of your eyes again in happiness realising the man you loved so much was here. He saw your still scared eyes,so,after closing the door,he came closer,just a few feet from you; he could read in them all the pain that tortured your soul all these weeks he was away. He put a hand on your cheek,swiping away some hot tears.

You hugged him so tight that you feared of breaking some of his bones but you couldn't help yourself,it seemed like a dream.

"I..I missed you so much..I thought I lost you forever..I tried to think of a way t-to take you back but I couldn't and I'm so sorry..I thought I was going craz-"

Joker didn't let you finish the sentence that his rough but sweet lips crashed on yours,taking your breath away.

"Daddy's here now baby.I will take care of you the proper way cause uhh..I know you missed me as much as I did,doll"

His words made you blush and feel hot,you were so starved from him that just his deep and rusky voice would be enough to make you cum in your pants.

He took your hand and guided you to the bedroom.

"Sit down baby" he ordered,and you obeyed him sitting on the edge of the bed.

He took off his long purple coat and put it aside,heavy from the granades and blades inside of it.

He sat right next to your trembling body.

"Did ya really think I would forget of my good girl,huh? That I would leave that Bat tear us apart..mm?"

Joker took his gloves off,his bare hands going slowly up your body,from your hips to you neck,stopping there.

He came closer to you ear,growling.

"I missed my little kitten so much..ya know? I couldn't wait to come home to you,eat that sweet pussy of yours and fuck you so hard that all Gotham would hear your screams.."

A shiver ran down your spine and hotness started to form between your legs. His voice was the most erotic thing you ever heard in your entire life right now.

"What are you waiting for then..daddy?" Your words came out so low and trembling that you thought he didn't even hear you. But he did.

He laughed at your sauciness. "Naughty girl..ya can't wait for your daddy to raw you,don't ya?"

You nodded eagerly without even thinking,his hands leaving your body.

"Lie down,take your pants off and spread those beautiful legs for me,doll"

You did has he asked,while he put on again his purple leather gloves,his dark eyes following every your movement.

As you shyly spreaded your legs,your panties were so soaked that it was impossible for him not to notice.

An evil smirk ran through his face,while he came down between your legs.

"My my..looks like someone really missed me,isn't it?

Your breath was becoming heavy,you needed him so much you almost couldn't handle it.

His gloved hands took the panties down your legs,throwing them to the floor.

Before you could even see it,he attached his mouth to your wet pussy,sucking and licking your juices like a starved animal. You screamed and moaned in pleasure,grabbing his hair for support while electricity ran down your body.

Joker was enjoying it as much as you,you felt his moans over your sensitive clit with every lick he gave you. As if this wasn't enough,with his right gloved hand he put two fingers roughly inside you,moving them in and out,in..and out. Your orgasm approached quickly, you felt yourself losing it when he said "Cum on daddy's mouth baby,let me taste your sweetness.."

With that,you came moaning around his fingers and tongue,almost breathless from how hard your climax hit you.

With the smirk still on his face,his makeup was all messy,mixed with your juices all over his mouth and nose. Joker got up and slowly unzipped his pants,taking his underwear down enough for his cock to come out. He was as hard as wood,your mouth salivated.

"Come here doll,don't ya want to taste daddy too?"

As soon as you sat back down on the bed,he grabbed the hair on the back of your head in a fist and pushed you down his hard dick.

You took all of him in your mouth,you could taste the precum already dripping from it while you sucked his manhood hard.

His face contorted,throwing his head back in pleasure as he started trusting in your throat faster. His moans filled the apartment's bedroom,turning you on even more than before. You were almost choking on him,when you heard a loud groan come from the inside of his own throat and suddenly,hot liquid filled your mouth,coming down from your chin.

He pulled out,grabbing your jaw with one hand. "Swallow."

With a loud "gulp" you swallowed his juice,looking up at him. He had a proud look on his face as he helped you up from the floor.

"Such a good little girl"

Joker lifted your shirt and undid your bra. He then grabbed both of your wrists and pulled you back down on the bed,tying them tight so you couldn't move anymore.

"Now now kitten..time to play"

A little laugh escaping his lips. He started undressing too,removing totally his bottoms,then the vest,suspenders and his shirt for last. He approached you slowly on the bed,his face close to yours started kissing your jaw,down your neck,leaving bites and purple marks on your body.

You arched your back in pleasure,as he whispered in your ear "Your are Mine..only mine baby. Never forget that"

You couldn't answer,so needy you were for him.

He kept biting that sensitive spot of yours below your jaw,making you see stars.

He touched your breasts,hands still gloved,going down on your hard nipples. He took them in his mouth,licking and sucking them both; you were in ecstasy,calling his name over and over.

"Fuck J..fuck" was all you were able to say.

One of his big hands came down your pussy,stimulating your clit once again.

Your pussy was still sensitive from your earlier orgasm,so it didn't take long for you to be on the edge. When Joker felt you tighten on his fingers,he removed them.

With a disappointed face,you looked down at him. "J w-why did you stop..?I was so close..!"

The smirk on his face never left him.

"Baby, we got all night long to make up for uhh..for the time we lost",he licked his red lips.

You were panting,as he started again fingering you with those purple gloves. While one hand stayed occupied inside your pussy,the other one held a blade; he moved it down your jaw,around your nipples and breasts and down your belly..the blade was cold and the contact with your hot skin gave you goosebumps.

He kept edging you for a good hour. You were sweating,heavy breath,wet as never in your life and almost exhaust.

"You see baby..uhh you are lucky ya know? Cause daddy needs you too,so I'm gonna give you what you..(licks his lips) what you need"

Joker finally untied you,freeing your wrists.

"Turn around doll,show me that pretty ass"

Slowly you turned around,now on all four on the bed. He grabbed your ass cheeks and slapped them,the leather of the gloves hard on your skin,made you whimper.

You couldn't see him,but you felt the sound of his skin while with one hand he stroked himself.

"Ya ready for daddy's cock baby,hmm?"

You nodded,but that wasn't enough for him.

Grabbing your hair making you tilt your head back, he whispered in your ear "I want you to say it loud"

"I'm-i'm ready f-for your cock,daddy"

Satisfied with your response,he bit your earlobe,his breath next to your ear gave you goosebumps.

"Good girl..Now stay still while daddy puts his cock inside your little pussy"

The head of his dick teased your entrance,using your juices to lubricate it.

Then slowly,he entered you. Your walls clenched around him,adjusting to his lenght.

"Fuck..my naughty girl sure has a tight pussy".

You both let out a moan while he started trusting roughly inside you,keeping a steady and fast pace.

You held tight the bed sheets while he held your hips in place so strong,there would for sure be bruises on them later.

The sounds he was making,growling in pleasure while fucking you hard,made you closer and closer to your second orgasm of the night.

You were both panting,and you felt Joker was close too while his dick kept pushing deep inside you,hitting that sweet spot over and over again.

"Cum doll..your pussy is so tight,I know you are close. Cum for me you little slut"

Those were the magic words that made you release around his cock.

Feeling your cunt stretching around him,he came seconds later,collapsing on your back.

Joker waited for his breath to come back before pulling out and laying down next to you. You collapsed too,your head on his sweatie chest,still out of breath.

"I missed you so much J..I didn't know what to do without you.. "

Your eyes had tears in them,thinking back of when he wasn't there with you and you were alone for so long.

He saw the sadness in them,and gently held your chin up to make you look at him in the eyes.

"I missed you too baby,so so much. But now I'm here with ya and I'm not leaving." A little smile from the corners of his scars made your heart melt,giving him a sweet kiss on the mouth.

"I'll always come back home to you kitten,no matter what."

I hope this is not the worst thing you guys read,I tried my best I swear

[dabistodorokitouya]

Song: Kodaline - Brother

He has loved drugs, they numbed him and forget him the truth, pain for a long time. Only bad effect; his head was aching insanely and he also had to care with Shigaraki with that head. He looked at his phone, six hours had passed since he slept and Dabi's had to be a meeting two hours ago. At first, he thought to not go. He needn't have blabbered but when he read messages he gave up that. If he doesn't go, Shigaraki will be angrier. But he had to endure his creepy attitude. Also, he would have to look at the hand which addresses as his father. When he wanted Shigaraki could be terrible and Dabi loved his arms connected with hands.

He loved first five years in life, saw those memories gave him peace. But just that, five years. He hasn't seen old memories for a long time because of that he is surprised today. He wanted to remember his lovely mother; Watching tv with him and fondled his head. He threw away other memories to the background, he didn't need to them. He looked at the messages, except Shigaraki there was a message from a crazy girl. Although he found the girl's behavior silly, he couldn't say anything about her power. She had really useful quirk but although they met new she was sending messages to him about 'hang out together.' And that annoyed Dabi. But usually, everything would get on Dabi's nerves.

He had no problem about their personality as long as they didn't bother him. They could be as crazy as they wanted. Shigaraki Tomura, a madman who wore his family's hands on his face and body, was his boss, another was Twice, who acts an talks like a double person who couldn't recover from her trauma. The crazy girl Himiko Toga, on the other hand, was very fond of blood, the Spinner had nothing odd, but it was enough that is a lizard. He didn't know Compress that much but he and Kurogiri are among the most rational people in the group, he wouldn't deny that. They didn't seem like a very sane group, but to Dabi, whether their power was valuable was the only thing that mattered.

When he got to the bar he waited at its door for a minute or two. He took a deep breath and went in, he would need it. Shigaraki was waiting, leaning against the wall, his voice wasn't angry like it was in the messages. It was tired and boring. Himiko Toga was running around with a knife in his hand, Dabi wondered how long it would take him to stab one of the league members. Compress and Twice were sitting in the chair, drinking their drinks. Spinner was not around. Kurogiri, on the other hand, was as usual, ready for defense in case an incident broke out. Keeping them calm in a bar with a lot of villains was a real challenge, and Dabi and Shigaraki didn't help to this situation at all. After a few minutes of silence, Shigaraki was the first to speak, as always he was sarcastic.

"Do you know why the phone is used? For people can reach you. You're two hours late what is your excuse?"

Dabi shrugged his shoulders, his head ached too much to make fun of.

He responded with a reckless attitude.

"I fell asleep."

Shigaraki frowned but he kept silent. Apparently, he didn't have much energy either. The meeting must have continued a really long time, whereas he was pretty sure he was going to get a lot of death threats from Shigaraki right now. Shigaraki went upstairs without saying anything else. Kurogiri was defending Shigaraki as usual.

"Tomura's been sleepless for so long, he really wants this plan to work and I don't want a fight in my bar."

"What's that big plan you've decided on?"

Dabi's only wish now was to go back to bed just like Shigaraki, and he would exactly do that after learning the plans. He didn't want to listen to unnecessary things. Kurogiri had understood it easily, he sighed, Shigaraki and Dabi had some very similar habits. Of course, Dabi has always been more sarcastic than anyone else, nobody would be a patch on him on that matter.

"We learned that the 1 - A Hero class at UA would be training at summer camp, we're planning an attack, and Dabi your mission is very important at this point. You will lead the attack. Your mission is to bring Katsuki Bakugo and get him to join us."

Kurogiri gave him a picture of the child, the kid was standing angrily on a platform. He had a medal on his neck, Dabi now realized why the kid looked familiar. He was the winner of the sports festival, normally Dabi wouldn't care about the festival but he had watched as he was curious about his little brother Shoto. Shoto most likely didn't even remember Touya. Dabi wouldn't be surprised, that damn man would always separate him from everyone else. He couldn't stand his failures to be in his masterpieces way, it would be pretty normal for Shoto to not remember him, even if the two were so close. Shoto was six when he last saw his older brother, Touya.

Shoto was so strong, even when he was little it was obvious that he would become so strong in the future. Dabi admired Shoto for not using his fire, his left side. He was trying to teach that man a lesson by himself, Dabi appreciated his tenacity. But he started using his flames when he was fighting against a green-haired boy which made Dabi furious and suddenly lit the tv. He had to buy a new television. With that quirk of his, Dabi expected Shoto to be first, or so predicted. If the boy in the photo managed to defeat him, he had considerable power, which would explain why he got villains attention.

Also, the boy always seemed to be angry and angry at everyone, they even had to tie him up because he was causing a big problem. Even the boy's outfit was more like the villain than the hero, it was a disturbing move for heroes to silence him even though he won. Dabi was not surprised, he experienced firsthand how despicable heroes could be. Dabi's ultimate goal was to fulfill Stain's dream. He realized that Kurogiri was waiting for an answer from him, he put the picture back in place.

"It must have been difficult to learn this secret information, and the children would not be alone. How many professional heroes will there be? And who will be on the team?"

Out of the heroes, some of the children could have been a problem to them. They had to a plan carefully. The boy who were supposed to catch wasn't one to give up easily, he was going to force them and also they had to watch out two or three other students. After all, they were being trained for to be heroes of the future, it would be a wrong move to see them powerless. He didn't understand why they were in so much trouble just for a child, Dabi didn't have much hope that the child would join them and he didn't want to deal with an annoying brat. Toga was enough for him.

"Our research is saying Pussy Cats will be there. Eraser Head and Vlad King would definetly be there because they are teachers. Also Spinner, Muscular, Magne, Mustard, Moonfish, and a Nomu members of a Vanguard Action Squad. They will accompany to you. You're in charge of the team, and I believe you can handle the situation easily with your magnificent flames."

Dabi had not heard most of the names before. He would not care if they were captured, his mission was only to capture to child as a leader. If they were caught, it would show that they were incompetent and Dabi didn't need incompetents. He was intrigued by Nomu, it was valuable creature who pushed All Might hard but he was confused that he was going to lead the group, he was expecting Shigaraki to do it.

"I'm a leader, ha? Are you sure Shigaraki is happy with this situation?"

"Shigaraki won't be in that mission, so am I. But I'll be waiting to get you back here when your work will done."

Shigaraki's absence made him suspicious but he was happy, he didn't need him to be bossy. They had just an argument because Dabi didn't say his real name, he had too much headache to get into another one. He left the bar right after Kurogiri told them when they were going to attack, after leaving the bar his headache was lessened a little. After a long walk he returned to his apartment, immediately making his way to the bathroom. Some staples had to be replaced, he grimaced. He hated the process even though years had passed, fortunately there wasn't many staples to replace. After he is done with the process he cleaned up and went to bed. He hated being sober because he couldn't stand remembering his past all the time. Even after many years he couldn't forget what that man said to him.

You're worthless, Touya. You are not important.

He wasn't Touya anymore, he had rejected that name for the past eight years. Right now, he is Dabi. But Touya's past was still bothering him, he couldn't escape his past. No matter how hard he tried, those memories were always there. The drugs on his nightstand at the end of his bed were screaming at him. Dabi was an addict and he wouldn't deny it, he sighed. The following days would be busy with the mission, now was the time. Most likely the effects of the doses which he took today would last for days but Dabi was used to pain, Touya had learned the pain when he was five.

Touya was almost nine years old and he was still continuing to his training, but his father had a lot of work to do for Christmas, and he didn't come home very much these days. Natsuo's quirk had been revealed much earlier than expected, for their father now Natsuo had been declared an inadequate child. Natsuo had an ice quirk, just like Fuyumi and his mother, and Touya had begun to wish that nowadays.

He wasn't a person what his father's wanted, and he couldn't use his power long time. If he have had ice quirk, his father would have never dealt with his and he could have been with his siblings. He once remembered that he was happy to have the same quirk with his father, those memories seemed to stupid him now. Natsuo and Fuyumi looked just like their mother, Touya was very unhappy. Her turquoise eyes were no longer filled with joy as they used to be, they were hurt and sad. He hated the color of his hair. If he had looked like more like his mother, his quirk would have been like that. Fuyumi and Natsuo look like their mother. Touya look like their father, and he had taken his power.

Her mother was fading as the days passed, she lost her old shine. Since Touya's father started to get more tough in training, his mother was trying to block their father. His father was always angry with him and telling her to leave them alone but if she refused, his father would hit him. His mother couldn't take it any longer, she was leaving the room with crying. His father blaming their mother for the children's failure. When Touya wanted to give up in training, he always told him that he was weak like Rei. Touya wanted to yell at him and talked about their mother was how wonderful, strong, good but he just kept quiet. Maybe he was weak, like he said.

His mother had tried for him for months and now she had given up, she couldn't stop their father in any way. All she could do was care with Touya's injuries and that hurt her a lot. Since Endeavor wasn't home, Touya could do whatever he wanted all day, that was a luxury he wasn't used to. He clearly didn't know what would do, he had no idea what else to do as he had spent all his days with training. But then his mother came next to him and told him that his siblings were playing in the garden so he could join them. While his father was away, he liked his mother's behavior more, his mother was smiling like before and she was confident.

He couldn't believe Natsuo was three years old, he was huge. Touya was certainly aware that he didn't look like a nine-year-old, he looked like a six-year-old at most. He was weaker than before, as the doctor said his flames weren't good for his body. Although Natsuo was only three years old he was taller and larger than his, unlike Fuyumi and Touya, he had the body of their father. When he looked at Fuyumi a little more carefully, he realized that she was two or three inches taller than he was. It was unfair, Touya started sulking, he was the biggest but he looked like the smallest. His mother looked at him with laughing, like she knew what he was thinking.

Touya was very angry these days, often easily angry at everything, but then for a moment, he was acting as nothing had happened. Usually, his anger wasn't directed at her or his brothers, but Rei didn't understand why. Only sometimes she saw anger in Touya's eyes, that spark of anger was always there, even if he didn't reflect on them. Rei didn't like it, he was a kid, he shouldn't have had anger in his eyes. But sometimes Touya was so kind, Rei would have trouble believing that those angry eyes belonged to Touya.

Touya's feelings were becoming more deranged as the days pass. He was acting like a child when he was with his siblings and that was making Rei happy. She couldn't stop giggling when she saw Touya's jealousy and sulk on his face. Rei loved the winter, she loved the freshness and the breeze on her skin. Christmas was something she loved when she was little, but she loved it more than before because her husband wasn't in home and her children were so happy. Touya came down the stairs with timid steps. Touya was not close with Fuyumi for a long time and he hardly knew Natsuo. Fuyumi and Natsuo were playing ball together but they stopped when they saw Touya. Fuyumi was a very moving, cheerful girl. She immediately hugged Touya, or rather jumped on him.

"Hey Yumi, you're choking me."

"So you're our big brother, aren't you too skinny to be a big brother? Skinny brother, I like that."

Touya had seen Natsuo last year, and since then Natsuo had grown even bigger. Touya had begun to doubt that he was getting smaller and smaller. Natsuo went to Touya's next and hugged him and said to him he was really skinny, big brother.Then, he walked away from Touya and threw the ball at him with his foot. Touya was suddenly surprised as he tried to throw the ball he lost his balance and fell. Natsuo started to made fun of him over this incident. Touya also began laughing over the incident. Rei was watching these events happily from above.

Natsuo was curious about his brother's quirk, his mother told him he has a strong fire quirk. He wanted to see if they are strong enough as their father. He thought it would be better to show his quirk first and froze the ball. His sister suddenly yelled at him.

"Hey Natsu, that's not nice, you shouldn't freeze everything with your quirk. We can't change it to its former situation, thanks to you!"

Touya did not understand why he did these, may he had done it mistakenly. After all, Natsuo's quirk was just here for a few months. it was obvious that he was always freezing somethings from his words. Touya didn't want these moments to pass with controversy, he took the ball and let the fire blaze out on his hands. Fuyumi and Natsuo froze like a deer in the headlights, they both knew fire strength was strong but they would never think that the fire can be blue. The fire on Touya's hand was not strong enough but it was enough to melt some ice immediately. Both children reacted like "wow", it was fascinating to see the power of fire. Touya liked his siblings' reaction, they impressed to their big brother. All the kids stopped playing with the ball and started to freeze every corner of a freaking garden like Elsa from frozen. Touya kept returning everything back to normal without gave up and this game didn't stop until they got tired. He wasn't sure if he can have a good time with his siblings on future, Touya's wish never changed: his mother and his father be happy together, were spending time with his siblings all day... Shortly all his wish was a happy family but neither Touya nor Dabi wouldn't have this. That innocent, harmless, happy child's feelings just got destroyed and when he is eighteen, Dabi completely destroyed Touya. Touya was just a child that only saw on his dreams...

[real-jaune-isms]

RWBY Volume 8 Chapter 4 Review/Remix

A pretty good episode this time, and only 30% pain and despair so things are looking up! But when it goes mean it goes real strong with the mean. Lots to think about here, and boy oh boy do I wonder what we’ll see next week!

For a nice touch of levity, we open on Robyn telling a funny story about a time Joanna lost a fight to try and pass the time. Maybe she’s trying to cheer Qrow up too, but as someone who gets very bored at work pretty often I get the appeal of talking just to keep sane. She sees Qrow is too lost in his brooding about Clover’s pin to listen to the story, and Jacques is too busy fussing over a fly buzzing around his head (the Pence jokes write themselves). Tough crowd indeed, though her joke about Ironwood needing to pay for cell block entertainment does get a smile and a chuckle from the sad old bird. She takes this chance to apologize, possibly again and we’re just seeing this conversation now, for what happened with Clover. Many would argue it is really her fault for getting trigger happy back in the airship when Qrow was the one under arrest, but that’s an argument not worth having because the blame soup was being stirred by way too many cooks to make a clear verdict. Qrow, however, blames himself for deciding to team up with Tyrian, which was certainly a bad move. It was a heat of the moment thing, and he makes it clear he really would have preferred working with Clover to re-detain Tyrian again, but Clover just wouldn’t let up on his arrest orders. The real pain though, he admits, is that he had really started to let his guard down around this guy and thought her could actually make a partnership work again without his Semblance tossing 1,000 monkey wrenches into the mix. Feels like a fairy tale dream, vanishing like a rose petal on the wind, like every other friend. I of course added the part about rose petals, because you know he meant Summer and the unity of STRQ she probably represents in his mind. Robyn knows a thing or two about having a Semblance that impairs your relationships. Not many people like being around someone they can’t keep anything private from, and she can call out and mistruthing with a touch of the hand. Qrow has to admit he hadn’t considered someone else having that kind of personal trouble like he does, but their conversation is ended by Harriet coming in to toss Watts back in his cell. She’s pissy at Qrow and says he shouldn’t have Clover’s pin, but he retorts he has no reason not to have it since he’s not Clover’s killer. She still has a hard time believing that since Harbinger was the murder weapon, but Robyn finally raises a very good point. Miss Hill is a literal walking polygraph and all they would need to do to prove Qrow’s innocence is let her out of her cell and take her hand. But they won’t do that because they don’t want to prove what’s really true here, they want to cling to a convenient story so they don’t have to admit what really happened. Cuz if they put those glasses back on and face the facts, that means reevaluating what side their on if Clover died because he refused to help detain a serial killer before arresting a former colleague and that’s the real problem. Hare had already threatened that if she was gonna open the cell she wouldn’t use her hands for a friendly shake, and the dig at her allegiances and her ignorance towards Ironwood’s sins almost riles her up to the point of taking Robyn’s bait. But Marrow calls her back down to sensibility and she leaves in a huff. Robyn lays back and sighs at how there was almost something exciting happening.

Cutting to an actually exciting scene, Yang Jaune and Ren are outside the city chasing the Hound through a mountainous canyon on their bikes. It can fly while they have to navigate the rocks, and their bikes aren’t handling the cold terribly well. Yang laments that none of them can fly, but that inspires Jaune to pull out his shield and get closer to Ren. He’s gonna get his teammate up there, and Ren immediately understands how. Leaping off his bike and onto Jaune’s shield, he’s launched through the air by the burst of Gravity Dust in the crest and uses his grapple line blade to wrap around the Hound’s leg... and get dragged through the air like Curious George at the end of a bunch of balloons. Still, he’s weighing it down some and can climb up the line to get in close... when he’s not getting swung around against the cliffside. To further slow it down, he shoots his other line around a big rock that gets dragged behind them for about 5 seconds before the Hound flies higher up and the line comes loose. Ren gets knocked around even more while Yang finds an inclined path that gives her enough height to start shooting at the Grimm. It handles this fairly well, by dropping Oscar from its mouth into its hands and flying ahead of her with a loud roar. Apparently one of its Grimm for all Seasons abilities is to call for backup, because dozens of Centinels suddenly burrow up out of the rocks and ground around them and several Teryx swoop in above. Navigating becomes that much more difficult for the blondes, especially when one Centinel spits acid and hits the thruster of Jaune’s bike. He thinks fast and leaps off his bike to launch off another Grimm in front of him and flip onto a rocky overpass where he almost loses his balance and falls back down. Luckily Yang instead zooms by and pulls him onto her bike where they continue their pursuit. She does a great job of bobbing and weaving around the insects, but a Teryx lands in their path. Jaune tosses his shield grenade in front of a large rock and they drive onto it to tilt it into a ramp, launching over the avian foe into a spin between two more big bugs. They bump on a rock, but the Grimm cannot touch them with Yang’s driving. Unfortunately, they have a far more dangerous problem: They’re heading towards the edge of a massive cliff. Yang tries to make a quick turn but instead flips the bike over and launches both of them off to go tumbling off the precipice. Jaune tries to plant his sword in the ground as an anchor, but he doesn’t keep hold of it with their momentum and they both fall with a very believable scream. Big props to Miles and Barbara for this and the dramatic performances soon to come. Ren comes swooping in for a massive save and grapples Jaune’s sword with one weapon and the poor guy’s leg with the other. Jaune grabbed Yang by the hand so she’s fine too, but an incoming Teryx might soon negate it all. Luckily, Ren instead negates all their emotions with his Semblance and the Teryx passes them by. Less lucky, Ren being here means he’s not hanging from the Hound. He let it get away with Oscar to save his friends, and you know he’s kicking himself for it.

Shifting scenes from that tense gloom, we see Weiss decided the safest place to take Nora for the time being is her own damn mansion. Whitley answers the door and is about to try and berate Weiss for this but she is having none of it. She holds him at swordpoint and insists that they are coming inside. Whitley is very against the idea of harboring fugitives after the hit the Schnee family’s reputation has taken in the wake of its patriarch’s arrest for war crimes, and Blake is quite frustrated that this is what he chooses to complain about. The staff is all gone, Willow has retreated to her room and assumable to the bottle, you gotta admit Whitley probably feels more alone now than ever and is... coping in less than ideal ways. Weiss still seemingly carries a chip on her shoulder of wanting to prove that she is doing something actually important and she made the right move by leaving home to be a Huntress, so she insists that Whitley has no right to nag them because they are saving the Kingdom here. At least, that’s what my 2 semesters of psychology classes would tell me. Ruby plays intermediary between the Schneeblings and lays down their very minimal terms. Let them stay here a little while so Nora can rest and recover, and then they will leave him to his sulking and riches. Whitley begrudgingly accepts and asks what he has to do, and Weiss seems to relish this chance to tell him to go to his room. Finally flexing her big sister authority without Papa around to veto her in favor of his adoring son. But like Willow said last Volume, Whitley has been stuck in this house just like Weiss and Winter, and they could certainly try to treat him with a bit more fairness and sympathy. I’m sure it hurt him a little inside to have yet another authority figure bossing him around without a care for his desires. Still, he’s not giving much reason to make us sympathize so I say wait a little bit to see if he’s got any softer moments to come. Weiss directs May on where to carry Nora, and Blake checks on Ruby while they have this quieter moment. Possibly because she wants the chance to talk to her too, Blake suggests Ruby should try calling Yang to make sure things are okay, both between the sisters and in general. But that’s just it. She did it 35 minutes ago. Okay not really, but I wanted to toss a Watchmen joke in. Still, as much as Ruby worries how that half of the team is doing, she’s already trying to call them and it’s not going through.

We fade back to our three battered teens as Yang collects what scattered pieces she can from her bike, the only one they still have. But like I said, it crashed into a rock after they tumbled off and it’s in no condition to run anymore. So Jaune is trying to call for help and transport back to Mantle, but either Ironwood shut down all communication in the lower districts or they’re just so far out in the tundra that a signal just won’t reach. The latter would make sense, and explain why Ruby couldn’t reach Yang. Giving up on the call, the three instead trudge through the snow in the light of the setting sun back more or less the way they came. Jaune is dragging the bike along while Ren leads the way to an outpost he saw while getting dragged by the Hound. Yang notes how low their auras have been drained due to protecting them from the cold this long, and like a kid on a car trip asks how much longer it will be. Ren has no immediate answer so she asks again and he gives a snippy “I don’t know”. She can tell there’s something more bugging him and tries to coax it out of him after sensing the hostility in his explanation that he only got a glimpse of their intended destination before he had to abandon Oscar in favor of saving them. He refuses to discuss his deeper feelings because he thinks it’ll just waste time. This riles Yang up and she demands to know what his deal is, to which he insists she not worry about it. The argument keeps escalating from there. Things aren’t going smoothly enough for Ren? No, they’re not going smoothly at all, but boohoo Ren, that’s part of the job as a Huntsman. He doesn’t think it’s a job they should have at all, they weren’t ready for it or to make the incredibly damming decisions they’ve had to since taking that position. Sure, they had a few lucky breaks and near miss successes, but then they entered this losing streak that they can’t seem to recover from because the losses are too drastic and every choice they’ve made has been the wrong one. Yang refuses to accept such pessimism and insists that even if they haven’t done everything perfectly they still had to do something because inaction would have made things worse. But how could they be worse than they are now, Ren demands to know as they freeze to death out here. Salem has the Lamp and Oscar, and they have nothing but the cold winds. They may not have an army but they have the Maiden, Yang tries to counter, but because they haven’t let her to open the vault for Ironwood all of Atlas is just a buffet waiting to be chowed down on and it will all be their fault when that happens. Yang rightfully asks him if he seriously thinks letting Ironwood try and float Atlas away to safety will work out for him or for the people of Mantle he’s abandoning, but he argues that they shouldn’t even be the ones asked to make that call. He’s trying to spit the hard truths no one else wanted to face, but this is way too harsh and mean, especially for Ren. What are these hard truths, you ask? That Ruby is still too young to be a leader, that he himself is an orphan from a town that doesn’t exist anymore (which I guess shows how unimportant he is for someone thrust into this decision making role), and that Jaune, who by the way has been trying in vain to get the two to cut the shit and quiet down this whole time, cheated his way into Beacon. A damn low blow there, bro. Bringing back the deep wound from Volume 1. And you can tell he regrets it immediately, but to say that would mean backing down from his point. Jaune doesn’t even address the personal callout and just says alright, you don’t think we should have the job, good for you. I’m still gonna keep walking and get out of the cold because like it or not we were given a goddamn job to do. Maybe not in those words, but the meaning was there. Ren and Yang silently let him take the lead, probably feeling the hot wash of shame distracting them from the arctic chill. Yang still takes one last dig at Ren though by asking if it’s his goal to push everyone away, implying he’s being an asshole and not even Nora is sticking by him. Well... in so many words anyway.

We get another change of scenery with a dramatic violin stroke like something out of a murder mystery movie. Oscar is regaining consciousness, and he hears Ozpin try to reassure him to stay calm and that it’s gonna be okay. When he looks up, however, he sees Salem leaning in a shadowy doorframe staring at a smoky apparition in her hand and welcoming back her long lost Ozma. Judging by the childlike laughter and general shape of her smoke display, I think she was manifesting a memory of her and Oz’s dead daughters to try and reminisce about the days when they were still lovers. Oscar realizes he’s being held in the air from the Hound’s mouth and tries to struggle free as Salem notes how young and weak this new vessel is. She’s not even acknowledging Oscar, just talking through him to Ozma. It’s been what may have truly been centuries or even a millennium since they’ve last met, and dear Oz has nothing to say to his wife? Oscar does his best Ozpin impression to try and fake it till he makes it, but Salem knows her man better than anyone and sees through it to grab him by the face and call his bluff. But he really is still a separate person from Oz, so maybe he can be more cooperative to her requests than that old wizard. She still wants to know where the Relic of Choice is, since Oz clearly must have used an extra layer of deception to hide it opposed to the others, and she wants Oscar to reveal the trick. But that’s not a memory he has access to, and he tells her plainly that he doesn’t know. She believes him, knows Oz would hold that one close to the chest longest of all, so she asks an easier question. How does she go about asking the Lamp questions? She gets the standard coverup answer, the Lamp is out of questions so it’s futile to even try, but she refuses to believe that one. Instead she blasts the poor kid with an evil magic rainbow laser and lets him scream himself hoarse for a bit. His chest has scorch marks, or at least his clothes do, and he fearfully tries to pull away from her “loving” touch. Lying so easily about these things, he truly was reincarnated into a like-minded soul... but sooner or later one of the two in this battered body will break and Salem will learn what she wishes to know. He tries to insist he won’t tell her anything, but that’s why she has backup. Hazel comes in to literally gut punch this 14 year old until he coughs up his guts or the truth, whichever comes first. And he justifies it all by saying this is revenge for his defeat at Haven and from the still unforgiven death of his sister.

Salem doesn’t stay to watch the savage beating, instead walking the halls of Monstra with her lovely new pet. Cinder has been waiting in this hallway for a chance to speak with her Mistress, but is distracted by her immediate discomfort in the face of the Hound. Salem claims it is an experiment that she is quite happy with the results of thus far, and wants Cinder to get on with whatever point she had so she can get out of the way. Cinder wants to search for Penny, she thinks she can make up for the past blunder and claim the Winter powers for herself. But Salem just laughs at this. “She thinks, she wants!” It’s like hearing a cockroach tell you about its hopes and dreams. Mommy Salami does not give a fuck what Cinder wants to do, she has done nothing to earn Salem caring about that. Cinder, to her credit, does not take this dismissal lying down and tries to argue that they are doing nothing to further their plans when Cinder could be achieving a great victory for her Mistress by securing their way into the Atlas vault. Salem does not slow her pace, and says when it is time to act she will tell Miss Fall what she needs her to do. Cinder tries to argue, and is met by the snarling maw of the Hound turning on its heels to send her shrinking back. Salem has been pretty damn patient with this bratty girl, but she will not repeat herself again. You are not going the the ball, Cinderella, you are staying here and doing what your godmother tells you to because if you don’t you will learn just how easily you can be replaced and forgotten. Cinder gives up her case and assumes the position of submission, which is to say taking a knee and repeating her self-depreciating mantra that without Salem she is nothing. This satisfies Salem and she walks away with her dog in tow, leaving Neo to glare at Cinder as if wondering who is really the domesticated little pet in this place. 

Cut to Cinder immediately rebelling against her given orders and heading for the airship insisting she just wants to go check on something and then they’ll come right back before anyone knows they left. Neo just floats along behind her because like hell she’s staying in the Satan whale when it’s this bitch’s fault she’s here at all. We get the last unseen shot from the trailer as Cinder looks out over Atlas and rationalizes that Salem doesn’t know Team RWBY like she does, she wouldn’t understand how determined they would be to try and save the world, and so it falls to her to check out Amity Colosseum again and see if they’re up to something. Neo seems annoyed and disinterested at Cinder’s petty little scheme, but they’re both caught off guard by Emerald arriving behind them and offering to tag along to help. She’s been getting better with her Semblance and asserts that she would be very useful. Poor misguided lass, searching so desperately for acknowledgement and praise you’re never gonna get... Cinder seems pissed that she was eavesdropping, but she’s not gonna turn down the assist. Time for an evil girls’ night out~

Back on the ground, night has fallen as JRY have found the outpost at last. Jaune hits a heater to get it running and prevent their freezing to death as Ren broods out the window and Yang is outside working on her bike. The leader takes this time to address the tension with his teammate. Yes, he did make a bad decision and cheat his way into the Academy. But when he found himself in that bad situation he realized he needed help and he asked for it. He turned his situation around and got better, became the strong person he is now. Holding onto this ideal that being strong means doing everything on your own? That was literally the issue Jaune faced in his mini character arc back in Volume 1, and he came out of it humbled and ready to accept support from his team. From Pyrrha. But she’s not here anymore, and Jaune is. Nora is, team RWBY is here for Ren. So Ren needs to understand that he can let them in, because the more he hides from how he feels the worse it’s gonna feel and hurt him inside. Ren goes outside to sulk under a streetlight, but Yang has come inside now to say that she’s found the part she needs to fix the bike so with a little more tinkering they can get it working and ride back into the city once they’ve got some R&R. Yang does take the time to say she’s sorry Ren said what he did because of her argument with him, but Jaune dismisses it for the time being as all three of them being under a hellish amount of stress. He’s been where Ren was before, he knows how much it hurts. Yang turns back to the tool bench to work on the thruster, but she’s got some inner turmoil of her own to vent about. She wants to know if Jaune thinks “She” thinks less of Yang for making the choice she did and staying to help Mantle instead of going to help fix Amity. Playing the pronoun game like this can be tricky, and Jaune fairly assumes she means Ruby since the two of them did have the verbal disagreement before splitting off, and Yang did question her leader’s decision making and leadership. He assures Yang that her sister will always love and believe in her even if they have squabbles like this. But it would seem Vomit Boy lost the pronoun game, and Yang was not actually asking about Ruby. Judging by the purple cannister she’s wrenching into the battered thruster, she was asking if Blake would think less of her because of these recent actions. 

A lot of people seem rather torn about this choice in priorities for Yang, but allow me to explain why I think it’s not that bad of a writing decision. If there is one thing that has been consistent in this Volume it has been the confidence of other characters that Yang and Ruby will endure this clash of ideals and remain loving sisters. Usually these sentiments have been given by characters who are siblings themselves and know the strength of that bond, like Weiss and now Jaune. We’ve never actually heard either sister personally express any anguish or regrets over that argument, but we can assume they’re both still a little sour about it. But they have been there for each other to a depth that few siblings have, as evident by Yang’s story in Volume 2 about how she had to step up in raising Ruby in a lot of ways after Tai went into grieving for Summer. They’ve been each other’s best friend and closest confidant for so long, I truly believe their bond is clad in iron and they know it too. Meanwhile, a lot of Yang’s recovery arc in Volumes 4 and 5 was dealing with being abandoned by Blake in a time of need and it continued into 6 as learning to accept her back into her life and find a way to make their partnership work again. Shipping or not, they do have a strong bond that has been renewed by dealing with their combined trauma and killing Adam. And when that happened they both promised they would stick together and back each other up, but now Yang has been the one to decide she wants to split paths and do something else. She has good reason to worry this might have upset Blake, and we the audience know Blake is worried about how she’s doing. So, when faced with a color that reminds her of her partner, it makes some sense that Yang would try and get an outside perspective of if she’s fractured their bond. And if you ship them, that more magnifies the interpersonal concerns than really changes the problems.

Regardless, Jaune realizes this is a problem he’s not quite equipped to deal with and decides he’s going to get some rest in one of the beds in the outpost. He gets the strong feeling he’s gonna need it cuz it feels like things will only get worse before they get any better. As we pan out past Ren, whom Yang promises she won’t let brood himself to death out in the snow, we see cracks start to form out on the ice. That can only bode poorly for these poor kids. Many folks think this is a frozen over lake with some scary aquatic Grimm waiting in the depths like a megalodon Grimm shark or the sulfur fish Grimm that apparently were the winners of a fan design contest this past year. Personally, I’m taking a note from the opening and saying it might be a cloister of Apathy since their gross grabby hands wrapped around Team RWBY when they fell through the ice at the end of the intro. But we will have to wait and see. Thanks for reading, hope to see you and your notes soon!~

Edit: this came out a week late and we did indeed see what it really was. Boy were we not ready for the truth...

[yandere-sins]

Not the same person, but I really LOVED your Hawks x Winged!reader shot! Can I ask for some kind of spin off, where Hawks is looking after a reader(maybe getting their hairs done, or preening their feathers) and being very possessive about it, cooing what a cute birdie his Darling is, while reader tries not to panic because they dislike ppl touching their wings as a part of trauma? I'm sucker for yanderes being super creepy while doing generally sweet things.

Ah yes, I think every now and then everyone needs a reminder that their yandere is only doing things for them. Because they love them, right? That’s a really good point there, tehe (･ωI got a little off-request here because inspiration sometimes wants a different way than the request is, but I hope it’s still enjoyable!

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««

If being bound to chains from the walls around you really was in your best interest, you had your doubts. In fact, you had your doubts about a lot of things. Like being kidnapped, held captive in a dark room, with deadbolts keeping the door shut, and presumably, underground. Yes, your wing-quirk was rare, but not to be underestimated, and if anyone knew this, then Hawks.

The only companion you had, was that damn cuckoo clock on the wall opposite from where he held you throughout the door. The sound of the - immensely funny how Hawks found - gift was something you’d never ever forget again in your whole life. How could you? It made sure you never dozed off more than an hour before tearing you out of your much prettier, much more peaceful dreams, and you despised it for it. 

But at least, it let you know about dinnertime. The only time that Hawks more or less managed to keep up routinely. He was worse with feeding you breakfast, and lunch was almost entirely canceled with the job the hero had, but for dinner - he always said - he wanted to be home. Home with his favorite nightingale for bonding and cuddles afterwards, his idea of a relationship.

Yours... not so much.

Food was something you learned to appreciate. It helped you stay sane to have something warm between your teeth, gave you some strength to wring with your captor for the space you needed afterwards. But Hawks- no, Keigo’s views on how you two should hang out, not only differed from yours but also, any you knew ‘normal’ couples did. Then again, what was normal when your partner was a madman?

As much as you resented the cuckoo for its loud, annoying screams of time, you couldn’t help but feel relieved that you’d be let down from your wall prison, able to move your wrists without the metallic clanking against your ears again. Even with two large wings, you were glad to be put back onto your feet, the strain on your wings’ roots - where they were steadied against the wall with metal chains too, becoming harder the longer you had to endure it. You tried not thinking about the fight that would break out in the morning when he demanded to put you up into chains again, believing this was nothing you should be worried right now. Because when you heard the first turn of the lock on your door, you knew you were in for more trouble than the ones still one night away.

Keigo whistled a happy tune as he pushed open the door, his slippers scrubbing over the floor while he carried in a tray of various little bowls. It seemed like typical japanese food, but you were sure there was nothing more than fast food inside. “Hello, my Dove. How’s your day been? Have you been hanging out here?” Snickering about his own joke, you learned to ignore the stupid remarks. 

You had been commendable lately, making sure to have good conversations with him and to humor his need to be close to you, aside from being a little unwilling to get back into chains every day. He at least didn’t seem mad about that, and you sometimes even thought to see the hints of pity in his eyes whenever he did what he thought he had to. So whatever you had built up with him in terms of a relationship, you didn’t want to mess it up with a useless comment when he was in quite such a good mood. 

Turning the switch on the light, the room lit up, even though the heavy curtains usually didn’t allow much light inside, and you blinked a few times to adjust to it. From his pocket, Keigo made a big show to pull out the keys to your chains, and with the hints of a thankful smile, you helped adjust your limbs to make it easy for him to reach the locks. After so many negative sounds, the clicking of them, with the following release of your arms and wings, was a delight rarely experienced by the average human, and you breathed a breath of relief to be freed of your restrains.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, ready to take careful steps towards the table in the corner of the room. However, suddenly he stepped into your field of vision, denying you an easy walk forward, instead, bringing you to a wonky halt. From his grin and open arms, you weren’t sure if he wanted something or if that was just to make you stop, but you decided against trying to pass him, watching his wings sway expectantly with more confusion on your side.

“Don’t you think I deserve a ‘welcome-home’-hug after my long day of work? I’ve been thinking about you all day long! Have you thought about me too?”

Truth be told, whatever had brought him to the conclusion that he deserved anything from you, must have been the same bug that had told him to kidnap you. But once your initial hesitation wore off, you tugged in your wings as tightly as you could to your back, before approaching him. The one-sided hug wasn’t quite what he must have envisioned when he asked for it, but the torture wasn’t long for you anyway.

You only briefly missed his eyes inspecting your wings which seemed to shift every time he moved his hands on your back, but you assured him of his question, which was enough for him to hear for now. “Yeah... Thought about you too.”

However, when you sat there for dinner, Hawks was different enough for you to notice. He was usually the one to always steal from your sparse array of chicken wings and fries, but he seemed absentminded on his chair for the duration of your meal, nibbling on some snagged bone, eyes always falling back over to your wings even when you moved them as far away from his view as possible.

“I think you chipped a feather with your struggling,” he eventually muttered as you wrapped up the bowls, thanking him for the meal. “It’s been bothering me since this morning, what if more are broken?”

You couldn’t help a worried glance over your shoulder, but of course, without spreading them and maybe a few mirrors to see the backside, you wouldn’t be able to determine if everything was okay. “Maybe you should let me take a look-” he offered, a fast hand reaching out for behind your back, but you flinched out of the way fast enough, catching his wrist just in time with a loud, “NO!”

Keigo didn’t spare you the sharp glare from below at your dismissal of his help, letting out a loud hum before retracting back to his seat. You didn’t miss a heartbeat to sit sideways on your chair, bringing your wings as far away as possible from him. “If there’s a broken feather, we need to mend it, Birdy, Darling.”

“I am sure they are fine, just a little... shuffled, yeah.”

“Mhm, I’d still like to see,” he insisted, standing up. He wasn’t a super tall figure in comparison to a lot of his colleagues, but he sure could look menacing when he hovered over you. The only good thing about it was the open space beneath his arm, that you slipped through quickly, giving yourself a mental pat for quick actions.

The only thing you didn’t consider was that Hawks always was quicker. Quicker in hunting people down, quicker in bringing them to the police, and quicker in catching you, knowing exactly what you were going for the moment your eyes fell on the open space. It had been a long time for someone to touch your wings. Even from Hawks, you had mostly kept them away, so you already had forgotten the feeling of a hand brushing into your feathers, gripping them tightly.

With a weak, panic-induced squeal, you stumbled to the side, pulling him with you as his hand held on just a bit tighter under your frantic movements. You could feel the feathers ripping from the root one after the other as he didn’t let go, your breathing picking up speed and lungs unable to handle the stress of the rapid air pouring in and out. Your hyperventilation did nothing to stop him, and with every sound of their fickle stems breaking you remembered more and more the circumstances of your upbringing.

It was just like when they had used you as a feather-maker before. The people you trusted most had regularly plucked them out to sell and make accessories for buyers, even when you bled and asked them not to. This was barely any different, especially not when Hawks clicked his tongue in annoyance the more you struggled.

Not long, and you found yourself in the stranglehold of his arm, bits of fluffy feathers falling from his hand as he finally pulled it away from your wings again, keeping you locked helplessly in his hold. “Calm down, it’s not like I want to hurt you.” There was nothing harder than to calm your racing heart and ragged breath, but you at least tried, especially when the air to breathe became thinner in his chokehold.

“Look, I found the bad boy,” he cooed, holding up his hand triumphantly to show you one long feather he had pulled out, slightly crooked at the end. Though you believed you started to see stars, clinging to his arm desperately, you nodded, quaking a ‘Thank you’ to him as best as you could.

Finally, he let you go, your body sinking to the ground, unable to hold up as every limb seemed to shiver uncontrollably. It took you a good minute to get some control over yourself again, the pain on your neck finally setting in too, and you shuddered just thinking about what just happened. But it wasn’t like Keigo ever gave you time to work through your experiences, especially not when you were so vulnerably open to him now.

You couldn’t possibly have seen his arms coming as they hooked under your shoulders, pulling you back up and over to the bed on which he sat down himself, letting your body glide to the floor. If anyone knew how to treat wings and tickle their instincts, it was Hawks, so it shouldn’t have surprised you as much as it did as he drove his hand up your spine, triggering your feathers to ruffle unwillingly. Immediately, you wanted to jump away again, but with a reprimanding ‘Ah-Ah’ his legs wrung around your torso, keeping your locked in your place despite your wiggles. 

It became only worse with the feelings of his hands brushing down your ruffled feather again, spreading them over his lap to get a really good look at them. “There are so many more broken ones. We have to take care of them, you understand that, right? It will only hurt so much to lose a few for the sake of keeping you healthy, I promise.”

“No... please...” you muttered as you heard his words, noticing his fingertips combing through every feather to inspect them one by one. “Don’t be a child now, I know what I’m doing. Just be a good birdie and let me handle this, [Name].”

There was no more resisting his words, Keigo being deadset on fixing your ruined feathers, one way or another. “Take a deep breath,” he advised, and you felt the hot tears roll down your cheeks as those words reminded you of the past. Hearing you following his instructions, Keigo did a trial tug, seeing just how much you’d flinch from it before strengthening his legs around your torso, knowing it would cause a lot of stirring if he really pulled it out.

“On the count of three, my Dove.”

[shannygoatgruff]

My Brother’s Keeper - Chapter XIV

Genre: Psychological Thriller

Modern Ivar X Modern Hvitserk

Rating: MA+18

Overall Warning:  Dark story told from an emotionally distributed person’s POV with graphic and sadistic material including rape, terror, torture, kidnapping, drug use, slash, implied incest, necrophilia, and insecurity. Heavy trigger warnings.  

Chapter Warning: Nervous breakdown. Mention of captive.

Summary: Mama always said to be their brothers’ keeper. Now there is absolutely nothing these two won’t do for each other.  Boys will be boys…

A/N: So my little Hvitserk is losing it.  He’s all over the place.  Please bear with him, trust me there is a method to his madness.  All will become clearer in the next 2 chapters.  This chapter might be hard to read because he’s bouncing all over the place.

Chapter XIV

The words catch in my throat as soon as I try to force them out.  Shit, not another night where my dreams rob me of the ability to scream, breathe, and move.

At least my eyelids will open. They about the only thing on my body that seems to work, I’m not sure if I’m holding my breath or if my lungs have just given out, but until I can breathe I have to lay here staring at the ceiling.    

Normally, this paralysis only lasts a few seconds, but it still feels like an eternity. As long as I keep calm and try to take shallow breaths, I can get through this. Everything will come back to me slowly. Like now – there’s a slight twinge in my big toe. It’s not enough to move my entire foot, yet, but it’s some improvement. 

I bet if I concentrate on something smaller like getting my eyes to move I’d have better luck. I’m thinking if I can get those to work, then my lungs will follow suit.

That’s it.  Just focus. Good. It’s all slowly coming back. Now, if I could just take a deep breath it should slow down my heart. Relax.

How can you have night terrors when you’re not afraid of your dreams? It’s not like they’re nightmares – well, not in the traditional sense of the word. They’re more like really weird vivid dreams filled with shit I don’t want to see or hear.  

Most nights I can’t remember the entire dream, but tonight it just keeps replaying in my head. There are still a few bits and pieces that are foggy, but all of the important parts are there. Like, I can’t really make out where I am, but I know I’m walking down a hallway. And they’re there; all of them.  

I remember their faces so clearly and the ones whose names I couldn't remember were wearing name tags. A few were chained, some just pinned down…They all look like they did the last time I saw them. And it felt so real like I could feel their presence and their cold, dead fingers touching me. I could still see the longing and desire in their eyes. It was haunting and kind of beautiful.

That’s why I wouldn’t consider it a nightmare, exactly. It was honestly a little bit comforting being surrounded by all of my friends. But, it was still a scary dream, only they aren’t what scared me. What scared me was them telling me that I'm not done; that I never will be. 

They kept begging me to take them and I got scared because I wanted to. Even now I still want to. If I could close my eyes right now, and force myself to pick up the dream where it left off, somehow control it so I could make it go how I wanted to go, I’d take each and every one of them. Knowing that is enough to scare the shit out of me. That qualifies it as a nightmare, right?  

I swear this is fucking torture – night terrors, sleep paralysis, cold sweats, shaking like a drug addict. What the fuck is wrong with me?  Ivar would know what to do. If only he were speaking to me. 

I don’t know what’s going on with him right now. I don’t think he’s mad at me. It’s more like he’s super disappointed. Instead of hugs and kisses, he gives me these sad smiles and disapproving head shakes. Sometimes he chuckles to himself when he walks past me… like there's some damn inside joke that I don't know about.

Maybe he’s trying to teach me a lesson. I don’t know what the fuck it is, but I’m learning it. I need to get away and clear my head. Being in this house, this room is suffocating me. I need to see something else besides my bedroom’s black walls and dark furniture. I used to love that it looked like a dungeon in here, now it just reminds me that I want to do something bad in the dark. Like I’m bad and dark.  Why do I always have to hide?  Even in here, I have to lock the door, make sure the light canceling curtains are drawn…I always have to do all this shit to keep my secrets. Who the fuck am I keeping them from?  Myself?

Ivar doesn’t know what it’s like to afraid of every fucking thing, including yourself. He doesn’t know what’s like to have secrets or having to lock yourself away from the rest of the world to keep them safe. He just doesn’t care. He does what he wants, when he wants to, and doesn’t feel anything about it later. 

God, I wish I knew what that kind of freedom felt like. I wish I could be more like him.

Ivar’s boots are at the front door. I didn’t even know that he left let alone came back. Where does go when I'm not with him? Did he make new friends already? Did he find new people to party with? Does he like them better than me? Are they more fun? There used to be a time where we were inseparable. Now it's like living with a stranger - one that gives me disheartened looks all the damn time.

It hasn’t quite been two weeks since Aud cured me and already I'm second-guessing everything. Rationally, I know Ivar's not going to find a new group of friends. Even if he did, he's not going to replace me; I’m his brother. At least, I hope he doesn’t replace me. But still, we have other brothers. Oh God, what if he replaces me with one of them? What would I do? How could I survive? They don’t love him the way that I do.

Stop it, Hvitserk! You’re being paranoid.

He’s not going to stop loving me. He can’t. He promised me. Right now, he's just upset about my decision to marry Thora. It'll blow over and he won’t abandon me. He'll make room for Thora and our family in his heart because he loves me.

Why do I keep forgetting that?  Ivar loves me. If nothing else is true in this world, that is. I don’t even know why I think that’s he’s acting differently. He told me how he felt, and I got sensitive. But, Ivar’s not spiteful. That’s me, projecting my feelings onto him. I’m so fucking stupid! 

All week, I’ve been blaming him, but it wasn’t him at all. I’m the fucked up one that can’t control his emotions. I’ve been the one creating distance between us. Subconsciously, I must have been pulling away in order to prove to him that this is what I want.  I’m so fucking childish.  

All this time, I’ve been acting like a little bitch around him because I think I’m afraid that he’s going to talk me out of it. But he can’t right?  He can’t change my mind because I’m cured.  It was a fun run, but I’m getting married and my life with Thora will be forever.

Still, I don’t understand why every time I say the words I’m done, I get these cramps in my stomach and my eyes won't focus. I feel like I'm dying. Either that or I'm losing my mind. Maybe this is just the grief process. I never really said goodbye to that other Hvitserk. Maybe in my haste to start over, I never grieved for the person I was. How do you grieve for yourself? 

Maybe I should just call Thora. Lately, she's been the only thing keeping me remotely sane. I swear, I didn’t need to concentrate on her instead of what I’m feeling, I’d be worried about us both.  Am I going to have to be around her for the rest of my life just so I don’t have to feel this way? 

Without thinking I fish my phone out of my pocket and start dialing Thora’s number. Who cares if it's three in the morning, I need help and someone is going to give it to me. If I have to spend the rest of my life taking care of her, it’s the least she can do for me. Ivar thinks she’s worthless – she’s got to prove him wrong. 

Please God, prove him wrong.

"Hello?" She clicks the answer button on the FaceTime call, but she doesn’t open her eyes. Just seeing her sleepy face is pissing me off. I know she’s got class in a few hours, but that doesn’t trump the crisis I'm in right now. Fuck her class and sleep and shit. I'm about to lose my goddamn mind and she has the nerve to be taking a fucking nap?

Why is she snuggled in that pink blanket with that fucking revolving stars and moon lamp spinning around the room? God, I hate that she’s fucking childish sometimes, "Hey."

"Hvitserk? What time is it?" Normally, I'd feel sorry for waking her but fuck that. The only person I feel sorry for right now is me. And what's with that question? What time is it? Not what's wrong or are you alright? Like what I'm going through right now is secondary to the fucking time. Who in the fuck does she think she is?

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have called her. She's not responsible enough to take care of me. And after listening to her, I don't think she could handle it. She just proved with that one question that she'll never know all of me. She doesn’t fucking deserve to. "It's late. Go back to sleep."

She finally cracks her eyes open to look at me. "Is everything okay?" I guess I’m finally worthy of a fucking glance.

No, nothing is okay. And it’s about fucking time you thought to ask. What clued you in? The fact that I'm calling in the three in the morning, or is the frantic sound of my voice a dead giveaway? Could be it the fact that I'm fucking salivating like a rabid dog or maybe it’s the ice water running through my veins making my teeth chatter? 

Hmm, let's see...could it be me sweating like I'm in the fucking Sahara desert? Stupid bitch. Do I look like I'm fucking okay to you? "Yeah. Everything is fine. Good night." Hitting the end button on the phone but keeping it to my hand, all I can hear is the sound of my own ragged breathing.

My eyes lift to see Ivar's smiling face and raised brows as he walks past me. Where the fuck did he come from? He looks like he’s up to something. “You look like shit, Hvitserk. You should get more sleep.” 

That’s it? That’s all he has to say to me? He knows I’m fucking dying inside but that’s what he says? And he called me Hvitserk. He almost never calls me that.

He didn’t even ask me what’s wrong. He hasn’t made one move to come over here to hold me and try to make it better. He is punishing me. Why can't he just yell at me like a normal person? At least that way after a fight, we could make up and he could help me through this. Fucking proving a point shit...

I know him and he won’t come to me. He’ll let me break until then when I really can’t take anymore he’ll make me come to him. Well, you know what? Fuck that. I'm not giving in. 

He only stands in the kitchen long enough to shrug his shoulder before he turns to walk up upstairs. Why is he doing this to me? Is this what our company feels like when we’re partying with them? Is this what it’s like to be on the receiving end of his torture? Okay, well I get it now. Lesson fucking learned. I can’t live without you, Ivar. Is that the fuck what you want to hear?

All I want to do is get married, not sever our relationship. Why can’t you understand that I can't spend my whole life taking care of Thora without somebody taking care of me? That's your fucking job. My job is to be the needy, screw up, and your job is to make it all better. So do your fucking job and stop fucking around. I’m fucking begging, you bastard - only I can’t make my lips say the words. No matter how bad I want to, they just won’t.

Ubbe was right – he always said I was weak. I’d rather sit here and suffer in silence, then admit to him that I can’t do this without him. If that’s not weak, then I don’t know what is and I should know because I've seen people at their weakest point and they don’t look like I do, right now. In midst of not knowing if they’re going to live or die, with sheer terror in their eyes, they still have their self-respect. Well, I don’t.  

I mean, sure they begged and screamed, but they didn't completely lose it. They were stronger than me. Every one of those weak motherfuckers was stronger than I am. I'm slowing dying and could give a fuck less about my dignity. I just want someone to hear my screaming without having to reduce myself to actually doing it.

I hate myself and everything in my life. I hate Ivar and the way he's acting. I hate Thora and her perfect innocence. I hate this fucking house, for trapping me in it. This fucking kitchen and this neat ass house. And…

When the hell did he replace the wooden cabinet doors with glass ones? Do we really need to see our dishes? I'm having a fucking nervous breakdown and he's being Jonathan fucking Scott. But that's typical Ivar. 

I do one thing he doesn’t like he’s making me pay by taking everything comfortable away. Nothing in here is goddamn place is mine anymore. Everything from the neutral colors, to the Tonka & Oud scented candles is Ivar. I've been here for five years and in ten days he's managed to get rid of me. There's no trace of me anywhere. I've fucking vanished from the one person who actually saw me. 

“If you don’t want me here, fine.  I’ll fucking leave,” I say to the empty room.

Maybe I should just go to the cabin and talk to Aud. She’ll understand. She always listens to me. She still thinks I'm strong and powerful. Plus, she'll make me feel better with all that fear still etched on her pretty face, even if she won’t cry for me anymore. It’s not really even about that though. I just need a little more of her healing. If she can cure me again, I know it'll stick this time. 

I’m just not sure that’ll do it again. I think she’s afraid or disappointed or something because she’s becoming distant, too. She doesn't put her arms around me anymore. There's no more warmth in her touch. I can't even smell her innocence. She's hiding from me because she knows that's what I need from her. Now, she just sits in that closet and looks at me with those huge eyes, but there's no emotion behind them.

Why is everyone is turning on me. Well, you know what? Fuck them. I don't need any of them. I'll do this on my own.

Turning off the kitchen light, I notice that Ivar left the one in the basement. I hate the basement. It's so cold and damp. I know it sounds stupid from a guy that hangs out in abandoned buildings, but the basement creeps me out.

Bad things happen in our basements. They always have.

I won't even go down there to do laundry, Ivar always does it. The only time I ever step foot down there is to get the Christmas decorations and Ivar is always with me. He usually laughs, then kisses my head before taking my hand and leading me downstairs. He always walks in front of me to make sure that everything is safe. Then he sits at the foot of the steps and watches me while I rummage through the boxes. He never leaves that step until I'm ready to come up.

My lips twitch in a smile at the memory but that's suddenly replaced by licking them to ebb the fear. Why can't Ivar protect me right now? I'm sick, scared, and alone, but there's a clinking sound coming from down there that I can’t quite place.  

I swallow hard before I take the first step down as my sweaty palm glides along the wooden banister. My feet touch each step softly like I'm going to creep up on my fear or something. But as scared as I am I’m more interested in hearing that sound again.

You know those clouds of aroma that drag the cartoon characters around by their nostrils? I’m not even halfway down the steps yet, but I can hear something else that feels like I’m being lead the rest of the way down like that by that sound. I have to admit, it’s making me a little excited…my thighs clench involuntarily…there’s a tingle in my nuts…

As more of the room comes into view the anxiety mounts. The symphonic melody is getting louder and more sporadic. I don't know what it is, but it’s fucking beautiful. It’s like scurrying…almost like something is trying to get away from me. The more it needs to retreat, the more I need to find it. "Hello?" 

Stepping onto the last step, I stare at the sight in front of me and feel my heart race. A cage, like the ones that you train dogs in. Only, we don’t have a dog. But that's not what has my feet glued to the spot. The thing that has my muscles refusing to move is the woman inside of the cage. 

God, she's a sight for sore eyes.

She's huddled in the corner dirty, tatter, gagged, and hands tied. She's terrified. I can smell it from here and it's the most beautiful smell in the world. The adrenaline is pumping through my body to the point that I have to grip onto the banister not to advance.

What do I do? She wants me. She's beckoning me with those tears, and teasing me with the way she's squatting trying to crawl away from me. She wants me to play the game. She wants the chase and to have me take her. She's practically begging me. The thought of what she wants me to do makes me smile. Suddenly I don't feel sick or crazy anymore. 

I have to make a choice. Should there even be a choice? Maybe I could give in just this once and it'll be easier afterward. But I've come so far. It's been almost two weeks, so there’s no guarantee that this going to make me feel any better. But after all this time I should be rid of the urge, right? I shouldn’t still think about it every waking moment of the day? 

Seeing a woman in a cage in my basement shouldn't make me feel sane, but God knows it does.

This is supposed to be wrong. At least, I should feel like it's wrong. "I don't need this. So stop fucking asking me." I hear my voice and look around to make sure that she understands that what she’s asking me to do isn’t right. 

I hear Ivar coming down the stairs from the second floor to the first. Out of instinct, I turn around and head back up myself. I don't want to leave her with her fear all alone. Someone should be there to watch it. But I know I can't stay here without giving in. I can't take the temptation or the way she's looking at me. She wants me so bad, but I can't. At least I shouldn't want to.

I don't make it very far, only back to the kitchen. I close the door behind me and slide down it until I'm sitting with my knees against my chest. I don't know what to do. 

What's more important, my wants, or my needs? Not that it matters because right now, I want what I need and need what I want. And they're both her.

I thought I could push away the hunger, but I was so wrong. And the scariest thing about it is I know that if I don't feed it soon, it's going to eat me.

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