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medievalandfantasymelee · 16 hours ago

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ONE DAY LEFT TO VOTE!!!

THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

SECOND ROUND: 6th Tilt

Frodo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003) VS. William Thatcher, A Knight’s Tale (2001)

Propaganda

Frodo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003) Portrayed by: Elijah Wood Defeated Opponents: - Dong Yilong [Henry Lau], Double World (2020) - Prince Chauncley [Daniel Radcliffe], Miracle Workers: The Dark Ages (2020)

“The bluest of blue eyes, the burden, the sacrifice, the sadness… When I was in middle school and the movies were coming out, you were either an Aragorn girl or a Legolas girl. I was a Frodo girl.”

William Thatcher, A Knight’s Tale (2001) Portrayed by: Heath Ledger Defeated Opponents: - King Arthur [Charlie Hunnam], King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) - King Vortigern [Jude Law], King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

“13-year-old me had such a HUGE crush on Will Thatcher / Ulrich von Liechtenstein, and you know what? 13-year-old me was RIGHT (and had much healthier taste in men). He's a dreamer, he's sweet (except maybe when you're dismissive about jousting...), he gives to others despite having little himself, he has the most charming, contagious smile. And to play us out... he's blonde! He's pissed! He'll see you in the lists! Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein!”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Frodo Baggins:

“cracks knuckles Okay, everyone. My time has come. Let me tell you all about the beautiful, wonderful treasure that is Frodo Baggins.

"He's intelligent. He can speak and write in Elvish, and he's mischievous, at least at the start of the story. His best friends are Merry and Pippin, and you can't tell me he didn't get into shenanigans with them once in a while. Whether it's repeatedly stealing Farmer Maggot's mushrooms as a kid in the book, or pushing Sam towards Rosie and cackling like a maniac afterwards in the movie, this makes him more relatable and imperfectly human, for lack of a better term, and you can't help but laugh with him.

"He's brave. Oh, he is so brave. Not in the sense that we would usually think- he's terrified the whole way through, and who wouldn't be in his situation? But he lets himself cry, lament his fate, feel whatever he needs to feel, do whatever he needs to do... and he gets up and keeps going anyway. He keeps going even though he's carrying something that's literally killing him, and rarely complains even though he'd be well within his rights to. This quote says it all, really: 'I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.'

"But most of all? He is so, so terribly kind. He's kind to everyone he meets, even to those who arguably don't deserve it, such as Gollum and Saruman. He loves the people/world he loves so much that he's willing to sacrifice himself to save them without any hesitation or thanks. And it's his kindness towards Gollum that actually ends up saving the day in the end! How could anyone not love him?”

For William Thatcher:

“HE'S SO CUTE AND BRAVE AND STUPID AND DETERMINED AND FUNNY AND POETIC AND HE HAS BIG BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES AND FRECKLES AND HE'S BISEXUAL-CODED HE'S MY BOY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH”

“The only man that could have pulled off a David Bowie dance scene within a medieval ballroom.”

#frodo baggins #william thatcher #the lord of the rings #lord of the rings trilogy #lotr #a knight's tale #elijah wood #heath ledger #fuck that medieval man #(or hobbit)

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j0kers-light · 14 hours ago

Note

My work here is done then 👩🏽‍💻

Chaos, I beg you, for my mental health, you NEED to write something about J with a suit like this

https://www.tumblr.com/dollshobby/756250101826142208?source=share

It's not a whim, it's a necessity

His Lighthouse: Friendly Fire (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

Friendly Fire - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER UPDATE!

Hey hi my beloved anon!!! I heard your cries, albeit was several months too late. Your patience is impeccable because JULY? 😫😫 ma’am. You can sue me at this point.

Anyhoo...

I NEEDED TO WRITE THIS or risk being haunted for the rest of my days *activates my inner slut* Here's the action figure in question. I would fall to the floor with my legs spread open if J came home in this suit. Like, look at him. He’s a slut! How dare he put this on!? How do I take it off? 🤔 I indulged wayyy too much writing this. 🖤✨

Let me know if you wish to be added to the official His Lighthouse taglist! Be alerted with any oneshots and the main story updates!

The entire purpose of living on the top floor was the added layer of security it created. No one could suddenly pop in and disrupt your peace without you knowing about it beforehand.

You kept the balcony doors locked this late at night and no one knew about the secret access point in your storage room. The only logical way into your apartment was through the front door. You didn’t want to jinx yourself; this was Gotham City after all.

If a criminal wanted to scale the steep twelve stories up to your apartment, you couldn’t stop them per se. Perhaps just question if they were superhuman and look at them sideways.

As it stood, you were relatively safe in your glass tower just the way you liked it.

Joker left earlier in the day, gushing about some special shipment being delivered that he needed to sign off on, so you had the penthouse to yourself for a change. You didn’t mind whenever your lover was around, (there was never a dull moment with Joker), but nothing beat solitude.

Solitude helped shape you into the woman you were today. You thrived in it. With your favorite snacks and drinks in hand, you snuggled up on the couch to catch up on some reality tv.

And that’s how your day turned into night lasted.

Halfway through the evening, you got up to fix dinner for yourself, and despite being alone, you instinctively made double servings. Old habits truly die hard it seemed. You sighed and put Joker’s portion up for him to eat whenever he came home.

Who knows when that would be.

The news didn’t report anything alarming to raise your anxiety levels nor did they give any hints to his whereabouts. It must’ve been a relatively quiet night of crime and you hoped that Joker didn’t cause too much chaos while he was out. He didn’t mention any big plans of his—not like he ever would.

The less you knew, the better Joker always said. Sometimes you wished to knew something so you weren’t completely blind to his world.

If he got arrested and sent back to Arkham, you’d be the last to know and that left a sour taste in your mouth. Your anxiety wouldn’t quell so you left the tv on the news channel should any breaking news segment regarding Joker come on.

You were fighting back sleep when you spotted a shadow moving on your glass roof. You rubbed your eyes, thinking you were seeing things from being drowsy but no... you definitely saw a silhouette of a man crawling on your roof, headed towards your spacious balcony.

You weren’t expecting Joker till sunrise, and no one had any business on your roof, so you automatically went in survival mode.

Every single last safety precaution Joker drilled into your brain kicked in—starting with some common sense.

“Nope nope nopeity nope. I am not dying tonight.” you mumbled. You flung the couch blanket off of you to stand. “Not today, Satan.”

You remembered where Joker hid the nearest weapon cache in the room and quickly pulled out a gun, double checking that it was loaded.

You were glad that Joker was so paranoid about your safety and set up necessary countermeasures all over the penthouse. At first you were against all the gag clown booby themed traps concealed in your home but J ultimately won you over with a single glare.

He did not play about his Bunny’s safety. The weapons stayed.

Since he wasn’t home, you had to protect yourself until you were able to sound an alarm. Joker promised that he would rush back no matter how far to protect you, but you knew it would take him a while to get here, and that meant you were on your own.

With an unknown stranger crawling on your roof. This information did little to calm your bundle of nerves.

You could still see the figure spider crawling on the roof, getting closer and closer to landing on the balcony.

A horrid sight for your quiet night home alone and right when you were thinking of starting a new season of your favorite show. Why did weird stuff always happen to you? The city you moved to...

The soft glow from the tv was the only light in the apartment and you wanted to use that darkness to your advantage.

This intruder (fingers crossed) didn’t know the layout of your home. Unfortunately, they were male and able to overpower you. That was all fine and dandy. The loaded gun in your hand would even the score on your behalf.

You watched in trepidation as the shadow toppled over the glass sunroof, landing headfirst onto the balcony. It was not a soft landing if their audible curses floating in the air was any indication. A shame they didn’t knock themselves unconscious with the fall. That could’ve saved you a world of trouble.

You watched from your hiding spot behind the couch as they picked (or did they use a key?) open both the outdoor balcony and the indoor sunroom’s sliding doors.

Their footsteps were light as they walked through your living room with ease. Okay, maybe they did know your home’s layout. This wasn’t good. Was this a planned hit?

Of all the nights Joker decided to step out, you have a home invasion. Why didn’t you grab your phone before you hid?!

You held your breath, counting down for the right moment to open fire.

You still had the element of surprise, especially when the intruder tripped up on your colorful ottoman—the same one that Joker always bumped into when coming home late… The similarities didn’t register in your panic induced brain. You just stood up and unloaded the clip.

The sharp crackle of gunfire echoed off the vaulted ceilings yet you still heard that familiar sound over the din. It made you immediately stop firing and gasp, “J-Joker?!”

Your annoying clown was doubled over laughing.

Never mind the fact you shot him at point blank range, why he was laughing? You knew he was insane, but this was a new level of concern.

You tossed the gun onto the couch and rushed over to check on J. “Oh my God, Joker! Are you alright?! I didn’t know it was you!!! Please don’t die!”

He wasn’t helping you in your search for his wounds. J was still rolling on the floor, laughing at something you currently didn’t have the patience to find amusing.

Joker and his low tolerance for pain probably didn’t acknowledge the bullets. That didn’t ignore the fact you literally opened fire on him. That is, until your hands brushed over something metal where his formal suit and tie should have been.

You jerked back and scrambled to flick on the nearest lamp.

Joker was perfectly fine but you weren’t. Your brain flew south for the winter at the sight of Joker.

He had no business looking so good in a mock Batsuit. Joker’s was green in color with purple splotched accents and what suspiciously looked like blood splatter. You seriously hoped it wasn’t. Either way, J’s sleeper build was encased in full armor with a shiny gold belt to finish off the look. He looked good enough to eat.

You were biting your lip in horny silence when Joker finally lifted himself off the floor.

He flicked his tattered cape behind his back and struck a pose. “Well, well doll! I uhh didn’t know you were a straight shot! I would have pre-ferrred a welcome home kiss, not.. ya know..” he gestured to the bullet holes you placed in his armor.

A shame he just got this suit today and it was already ruined. But the way you were staring at him; his suit wouldn’t be the only thing ruined tonight.

Joker stalked his way closer to you, “Whatcha thinkin’—”

“Take it off.” you spoke over Joker.

You huffed when he didn’t comply so you set about doing it yourself. He blinked in shock as you fumbled with his utility belt, acting like a kid tearing into a Christmas present.

“Woah! Easy Bunny!” Joker blushed at your eager hands practically groping his cock. “Heh, slow down doll.”

You didn’t. You whined the longer it took you to fail at removing his armor.

When you broke a nail scratching at his chest plate, you caved. “Don’t just stand there, J! Take it off!” you shoved him, knowing that acting up would get his attention quicker.

“Y/n? What’s gotten into ya?”

“Preferably you if you would cooperate..” you snapped back. Oh. He knew that tone of yours all too well.

“Ahhhhh. I see.” Joker chuckled and pressed a button to release the hinges that covered his crotch. You didn’t waste another second. You shoved a surprised Joker back onto the couch and sank to your knees in the same motion.

Joker was speechless with the way you manhandled him although he didn’t say anything to see where you would take things. Your hands traced his hips, like a sculptor would their final work of art. You’d seen Joker way too many times to know there were no imperfections.

How was he so perfect, like your own personal Michelangelo?

“Look at this slutty little waist. How dare you walk around Gotham like a whore?!” You shook your head in disbelief until you eyed his dick standing at attention.

Without warning, you took Joker’s cock into your hands and gave it a nice long lick, from base to tip that you kissed gently.

“F__k Bunny!” Joker shouted. You peppered kisses all over J’s dick and you were rewarded with a bead of precum spurting from his reddening tip.

“Aww ya got a nice lit-le treat, why don’tcha...”

You groaned, “shut up, J” right before you swallowed inch after inch of his dick.

Your throat burned at the stretch, but it was oh so worth it. You didn’t stop until your nose bumped into his armor. Then you rested for a count of five before pulled up to take gulps of precious air and to lock eyes with J.

He was breathing heavily too—and parting his lips to speak. You did not want that.

You pushed his chest and started bobbing your head at a rapid pace. Very soon, the sound of you gagging and the obscene wet plops of your mouth around Joker’s dick was the only noise in the room, save for Joker’s groans drowning out the tv.

GCN could be broadcasting the zombie apocalypse and neither of you would care.

You felt like amazing sucking him off. He needed this after the wild night he had. Coming home to his Bunny in this bizarre horny mood, it was the perfect nightcap.

You were perfect and Joker whispered your name to try and let you know that, but you squeezed his shaft in warning and quickened your pace. He got the message. No talking. Just feel.

He could do that especially when you took him balls deep and hummed so prettily. The vibrations went straight to his brain, unplugging all vital systems.

You did need to breath so you regrettably pulled away, moaning like a slut. “I can’t believe you h-hid this from me.” you panted.

“Heh, I knew ya act like—awww fuu.. M’sorry! I ngh, n-no talkin’.. I knooow but it’s so warm Bun!”

You rolled your eyes. Joker just couldn’t keep his mouth shut to save his life.

You grabbed his gloved hands fisting your upholstery and moved them to tangle in your hair. That got his attention. “Huh? Ohhhhh I couldn’t. Messin’ up my pretty girl’s hair? She’d kill me for sureee.”

He toyed with a wayward curl knowing deep down he loved wrecking your hair.

Joker respected your tedious hair routine and the strict no-touching policy to maintain its upkeep, but during sex, he just couldn’t resist. He’d pay however much for you to fix it back, he really wanted to bury his fingers into your luscious strands and tug.

You squeezed his hand. It was the green light for what he’d been dying to do. Joker grabbed a handful of your curls when you did that thing with your tongue he liked and his hips bucked up to chase after the feeling. You gagged at the unexpected thrust and it got J to thinking.

Joker caught your teary eyes staring up at him as well as your subtle nod. He loved how you were always on the same wavelength as him.

He groaned as he spread his legs wider. “Oh, thank ya Princess! Ahhh thank ya. Soooo. Very. Much!” He emphasized each word with thrust into your throat as his strong hands held your head still.

Your poor curls were Joker’s handlebars as he throat f__ked you.

A mixture of cum and spit dripped down your chin and landed on Joker’s armored thighs making the splatter painted surface shiny. You could always clean it up later.

Right now, you relaxed and let Joker use your throat for his pleasure.

It was sloppy and messy, just the way he liked it, although your pussy throbbed with neglect. She would just have to wait. You needed this and so did J.

He was talking gibberish with his head thrown back on the couch. Ugh, he looked so fine even with his greasy hair hiding his handsome features. You saw his Adam’s Apple move as he choked back a moan. Almost as if he felt your gaze, intense jade pierced your soul.

You were caught under his spell or was it the other way round?

Whether your name was uttered as a prayer or more as a warning, it didn’t matter.

Joker’s feral groan bounced off the walls as he filled your mouth with his thick load. He’d been backed up for days working on a big heist and now all of his stress was being emptied down your throat. You blinked back the ache in your jaw; your discomfort was irreverent. You would rest after Joker was satisfied.

J hissed when his dick slipped out your mouth and he was quick to bark out a “Swallow.”

You already had and was sticking your tongue out obediently for him to inspect.

Joker hummed his approval as his thumb rubbed your sore jaw. “Goooo~ooood girl.” He knew you could take it all. You hadn’t failed him yet.

You smiled and crawled your way up onto Joker’s lap.

It was a bit uncomfortable with his suit still on but he cradled you like fine China in his arms. You always felt the safest in his hold. He rubbed your back while you traced the red ha ha ha painted on his chest.

A local commercial aired on the tv as the intense moment idled back down to tranquil levels. It was Joker who broke the silence with his raspy voice.

“Mind uhh, telling me what broughT that on?” he asked.

You glanced up at Joker’s closed eyelids. You sucked the soul out of him and it was taking him longer than usual to float back down to Earth. Times like this when the moonlight poured in through the windows and hit him just right, it made you wonder.

How did you get so lucky to have this man in your life?

He cracked an eye open with a knowing gleam swirling in the green hue. Caught ya.

It made your ears bloom red in embarrassment. You genuinely did not know what came over you just now. You saw Joker in an imposter Batman suit and became feral. There was no further explanation needed.

Your mind completely forgot that you shot Joker multiple times in self defense, that’s how powerful the whore in you jumped out. Mo’Nique would be ashamed.

You buried your face in J’s chest, whining. “I dunno. You ain’t complaining.”

He loved when you got nervous; your proper grammar became non-existent. Your nose bumped against a bullet hole and it caused your guilt to come flooding back. “You sure you’re okay?” you asked.

You tapped the small indentation on his chest for context.

“Hm? Oh yeah. Didn’t even feel 'em, Light. I guess.. I should uhh a-polo-gize for scaring ya. I didn’t mean to.” He kissed your forehead before snuggling you closer to his chest.

It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to come home by crawling on the roof and whatnot, but Joker wanted to test out all the cool features his new suit had. So far, it was a sound purchase and bonus points, his Light love it. Perhaps a bit too much.

You were just full of surprises. Nothing like friendly fire between lovers and a blowjob for a Friday night in.

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