#open heart second year

[bluelovessss]

Day 3 ~ If Sienna wasn't a doctor, who would she be ?

Ig she would be a celebrity. She would definitely make a lovely one!

@siennatrinhappreciationweek day 3

@openheartfanfics

[headoverheelsforramsey]

Love Again

Book : Open Heart (Book 2)

Pairing : Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Meera Bose) || Feat. Tobias Carrick

Category : Angsty Fluff

Summary : He is watching his best friend fall in love for the second time and desperately praying that it doesn't lead to disastrous consequences like the first time. (Aka Open Heart Book 2 told from Tobias Carrick's point of view)

Warnings : Mentions of the maitotoxin attack

Rating : General

Word Count : 1569

Trope : Third person POV, People find out about them, Traumatic Event

A/N : This is my submission for @tobias-carrick-appreciation-week Day 3 : OH 2 and @aprilchallenge : Love is in the air. Some of the quotes have been taken directly from Pixelberry's Open Heart Book 2. Hope you guys enjoy it, happy reading! ❤️

Chapter 6

Tobias Carrick didn’t expect to meet his long lost friend turned foe today, certainly not under the humongous roof of the third richest man in America, competing against him for the sake of saving his hospital. Yet, here he was, staring at Ethan Ramsey in flesh and blood. He looks like he hasn’t aged a day, though the beard and glasses make him look more matured than he acts to be.

Hirata and Mirani following Ramsey like puppies as usual. He recognises the other doctor, from their encounter at the deli a few days back. He did not learn her name, but was shocked to see her as a part of one of the most prestigious diagnostic team in the country. A resident in her second year missing out trivial diagnosis like cyanosis, did Edenbrook and Ethan Ramsey forget how to teach?

He was enjoying this little arrangement that Bloom came up with, never missing out on a chance to one-up Ethan Ramsey. But when his “friend” stormed out the heavy wooden doors he was not surprised but disappointed. He was rather shocked when his protege followed him without thinking twice.

Before following Mr. Bloom inside he could see Ramsey and Bose in a heated argument through the glass panels. He was surprised further because in all the years he had known Ethan Ramsey he had never seen an attending talk to him that way, much less a resident, had his “friend” changed that much? His surprise continued when Ramsey came back for a chance to crack this case, but he didn’t let his face show. Does this mere resident have special persuasion powers? He decided to put his head in the game instead, because he was playing to see his “friend” lose.

Chapter 8

The sun shone brightly, the smell of hot dogs and beers engulfing the atmosphere this was one day in a year, Tobias pretends he followed his childhood dream of playing softball professionally. The doctors from both the hospitals mingled about, he had so many people to greet but in the sea of known and unknown people he certainly didn’t expect Ethan Ramsey to be there.

He has been going against Edenbrook for almost half a decade and never in all those years had he ever seen or ever expected the infamous Dr. Ramsey to grace them with his presence. What changed? He thought and almost immediately saw Meera Bose beside Ethan.

She was a decent player he thought, throwing the first pitch and being responsible for Tobias Carrick’s out was enough proof of that. But he couldn’t ignore the small smile at the corner of his “friend’s” lips whenever Bose threw a perfect pitch.

Old habit’s die hard and Tobias thought rubbing the case of Stephanie Hill while grabbing a water was the perfect plan. He raised an eyebrow when the young resident said “paitent care isn’t a game.” Good to know Ramsey passed down his virtues to his residents. But the fire he saw in Bose’s eyes on mentioning her friend’s betrayal mirrored the fire he had witnessed in his own “friend’s” eyes more than ten years ago due to a different betrayal.

The fight had grown heated but when Ethan took a protective stance in front of Meera giving Terrance a death threat Tobias was astounded. He had known this man for a very long time, was Ramsey falling for her? Because he hadn’t seen him this defensive since… before he could finish that thought, chaos broke free.

The final innings could have gone better, but one thing that always set Carrick apart from Ramsey was the ability to accept defeat. He watched as Bose ran towards the Edenbrook clan, her friends and colleague wrapping her up. As he turned to leave he watched Ethan join the crowd his eyes soft on Meera’s browns a playful smile on his lips, hands brushing lightly. Tobias’s earlier suspicion returned and as a diagnostician he thought he had an answer, but as one of Ethan Ramsey’s oldest “friend” he could do with some more evidence.

Chapter 9

Logging into his tablet, Tobias looked suspiciously at the recent activity. Ethan Ramsey, at Kenmore? He didn’t have any ongoing research projects and Ethan is not the type of man who likes to take an afternoon walk around the neighborhood.

“Doctor, the patient is ready for you,” the nurse called. Tobias nodded, opening his new patient chart and getting to work, making a mental note of catching up with Ramsey before he leaves the premises.

Tobias stopped Dr. Simpson in the middle of his presentation, was that Meera Bose? He rushed out of the patient room following her still not believing his eyes. But when he saw Mirani with her he knew something was up. Three members of the Edenbrook diagnostic team cannot be behind enemy lines at the same time co-inccidently. Calling security Tobias makes a run for it.

The two doctors make a narrow escape and he comes out just in time to see his “friend” zoom away from under his nose.

“Well played Ramsey, we’ll get you next time.”

Chapter 11

The news of Senator Ed and and his aide had spread like wildfire. Transfer patients from Edenbrook kept Tobias fairly busy, but he didn’t know why his thoughts drifted back to Meera.

“How was she doing?”

“Did they have any answers at all?”

“Is she not going to make it?”

“How was… how was Ethan doing?”

Tobias found himself choking on his own breath. In need of fresh air, he put down his tablet and took shelter in a supply closet. He doesn’t remember when was the last time he was here. More unpleasant thoughts circled his brain, Tobias punched the door out of frustration and helplessness. The door opened, and Aurora came in, the frustration and helplessness reflected on her face made Tobias decide that it was time to set aside all the age-old differences between him and Ethan and their respective hospitals.

Nothing less than a crowd was formed in front of the patient room. All of Meera’s friends, family and well-wishers stood by her side. All of them dejected and crestfallen. Ethan Ramsey stood at the forefront his heart burdened with melancholy, but too stubborn to show it in his face. Tobias had known his “friend” long enough to see right through the facade.

Tobias straightened his face, “and you won’t be alone.”

Ramsey’s face shifts from shock to thankful in a mili second and Tobias stops him right there. Everyone says their goodbye one by one and follows Baz and June into the lab. Tobias notices his “friend” not making a move.

“Shouldn’t we call Dr. Ramsey?” one of the doctors suggest.

“No. He should be there with her,” Tobias smiled. “This is where he will do the most good. Besides, I know what I am doing.” He flashes his signature smile only to receive an eye roll from Hirata.

Tobias monitored the sodium-potassium level, no this won’t work, he shaked his head. Facing another dead end, he decided its better to take a small break before getting back to work. He exited the lab and walked towards Meera’s room. The corridor lights had been dimmed, he felt like a ghost wandering the halls. He stopped in front of the window, only to see Ethan all suited up, holding Meera as close as he humanly could with the plastic barrier in between them.

He needed no more confirmations. He was sure his “friend” had fallen head over heels for Meera. It had been a long time since he had been this candid with someone, it had been so long since someone had broken all of his walls and reached for his heart and it had been so long since Ethan’s heart had shattered. Tobias was immature back then and partly responsible for what had happened but today he was not going to let that happen a second time. With renewed determination Tobias walked back towards the lab.

Just like Tobias had guessed, Ethan was still there in his hazmat suit helping Meera vomit into a basin when they returned the next morning. The child-like grin on his face on hearing about the antidote was unlike him. Tobias explained the chemistry behind their discovery, expecting atleast a couple questions from Ethan but the absence of that made him realize that he was a changed man. The sheer delight on Ethan Ramsey’s face as he administered the serum was one of a kind. He and Meera locked eyes, a silent understanding between them.

The waiting part was the worst, but once the latest lab results showed no trace of toxin in Bose’s bloodstream the entire team gathered around the patient room. Ethan sprinted through the doors, and Meera flew into his arms, tears breaking free. Ethan looked outside holding Tobias’ gaze for a little longer than necessary, while Tobias returned his signature smirk.

Chapter 17

The rumor mill had a field day with the news that the great Ethan Ramsey had kissed a resident, Meera Bose in an atrium full of people. While the betting pool regarding how long they were dating and whether Meera slept her way to the top were the hottest topic in and around the hospital, Tobias Carrick was just content that his diagnostic skills remained undefeated and he still knew his "friend" through and through.

Thank you so much if you have read till here, it means the world to me. Hope to see you go on other different adventures with me, Ethan and Meera, till then sending love and hugs your way! ❤️

Perma : @starrystarrytrouble @quixoticdreamer16 @coffeeheartaddict2 @liaromancewriter @tessa-liam @gryffindordaughterofathena @crazy-loca-blog @zahrachoices @bex-la-get @potionsprefect @schnitzelbutterfingers @a-crepusculo @custaroonie @aishwarya26 @jamespotterthefirst

Ethan x Meera : @jerzwriter @wanderingamongthewildflowers @takemyopenheart @mvalentine

+ @choicesficwriterscreations , @openheartfanfics , @tobias-carrick-appreciation-week & @aprilchallenge

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed. 💜

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Chapter 11 of Open Heart Second Year (part 2)

This part:

The last thing Raf probably wants right now is food and drink. But he’s putting on a brave face and humouring Sienna and I just 🥺 it’s just so like him.

And once again, Sora appears to do nothing. Without the rewrites, would this have been the last time we ever saw Sora? I doubt they would have had a conversation with MC afterwards. There could have been so much GOOD drama and angst throughout this book and PB wasted every last crumb.

Sora was literally an obstacle with a human sprite.

And now I’m on to the worst part.

First of all, romancing Raf or not, MC says the exact same thing. It makes sense on his romance route, but on his platonic route it’s weirdly intimate. Can’t MC just call Raf one of their best friends? Half the angst on the romance route is made up in my head anyway, and now I get something that looks slightly romantic, it gets cheapened by appearing on the platonic.

Second, I feel like they’ve already had this conversation. More than once.

I’ve said before, Ethan’s romance is a completely different scene to his platonic, and yet Rafael gets the exact same repeated conversation…never mind that he left MC, never mind he’s moving to Brazil. All the angst and emotions…ignored completely. Case in point:

Exactly the same options given on his platonic path. Raf romancers couldn’t even get something extra when he was literally dying.

And they somehow managed to make it worse…

I don’t want any of them staying behind because THEY ARE NOT MY LOVE INTEREST.

It made me uncomfortable even during the original release. It was not enough to kill my love interest in cold blood, for no reason, for shock, abandoning any romantic and even platonic storyline he and MC had……I had to choose someone to replace him. And there was no platonic option.

(I chose Bryce just because it seemed to make the most sense for him to stay behind. Matthew friendzoned him.)

Anyway, MC is cured, Kyra survived her surgery. And I still feel like it would have been better to deal with the grief of Kyra not surviving the surgery.

And finally…

Sora…buddy…I get why you’re upset, but you think now is the time for a break-up??

Luckily for Rafael, Matthew is waiting for him right outside the door…

Honestly, I usually love this kind of life-or-death drama (the last few chapters of Twilight somehow had a chokehold on me back in 2009) and I was hooked on this chapter when it first released. But the days passed, the shock wore off, and the uncomfortable parts were becoming increasingly obvious. There’s too much behind the chapter for me to enjoy it now.

Two years eleven months on, and I couldn’t get any enjoyment out of this.

[macapacaalpaca]

Me when a song fits an OH scene perfectly

*adds to playlist*

[skymantle]

not shipping something subtextual? alright whatever

not shipping it because a wildly popular INACCURATE fan theory says the characters are related? annoying.

not shipping it because you believe (falsely) that they're related + claiming there's no subtext when the crux of the series is the relationship? DIE.

[pkmoth]

having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself

[choices-binglebonkus]

I’m still so blown away at how amazing Open Heart’s first book was and then how the quality plummeted with the second and never truly recovered.

[bluelovessss]

Day 4 : Family, Friendships and Romance : Tell us about her relationships

Ofc Sienna being the friendly person that she is, made a lot of friends at workplace, school, college or at public places too. One of her close friends who she considers a sis is ig probably Jackie. I like to think tht these 2 are pretty good as friends but more like sisters.

For @siennatrinhappreciationweek day 4

@openheartfanfics

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Chapter 11 of Open Heart Second Year (part 1)

First of all, Open Heart was supposed to be realistic. This felt like it was straight out of Batman:

Years of plotting revenge about to come to fruition…yeah, whatever. Kyra dying of cancer would have had the grounded emotion the team claimed they wanted…..hell, you didn’t even need Raf in the room. Keep MC in there, have Raf a second too late and MC closes the door on him, then Raf has to watch helplessly. Anything was better than what PB wrote.

Moving on to Bryce’s scene…

Obviously Bryce is very upset upon hearing about MC, and I get it, they’re the main character, but Raf is one of his best friends. They just had an emotional goodbye where Bryce asked who he’d be going on adventures with when Raf was in Brazil, and yet now he doesn’t even get to react upon hearing Raf might be in danger.

Oh, hi again Eric 😂

I love Baz.

Given how Phoebe disappeared off the face of the earth, I don’t think the writers had actually planned anything for Danny and Sienna either. Poor girl deserved so much better (but then, who didn’t, besides Ethan).

Glad we got a choice here but that phrasing of ‘we are more than colleagues’ feels really weird.

Moving on, a few days before the chapter release I had seen a spoiler for what MC was going to look like and prepared myself for a change in Rafael’s appearance…

…And I cried out loud ‘baby, what have they done to you?!?!’

[myglassesareinkansas]

the meaning of aloha

Book: Open Heart

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x F!MC

Rating: Gen

Warnings: Angst, Discussion of Death

Summary:

aloha (n.): love, affection, peace, compassion, and mercy; a force that holds together existence

Bryce receives the worst news of his life, and to make it worse, he's in love with Casey. And she's about to die.

Tagging: @openheartfanfics, @choicesficwriterscreations, and @mydemonsdrivealimo

AO3 Link: Here

His entire body trembles, but he holds his head high as he pushes his way past the other doctors. Most of them whisper amongst themselves in the hallways, and here and there, he catches words like anthrax and ricin. There’s a pair of attendings wondering how Casey isn’t dead right now. Others who say they hope Travis suffers.

The nurses huddle around their station, and Bryce stumbles over his feet. Marlene rubs Sienna’s back as she lowers herself into one of the chairs.

“I had a date with Danny tomorrow,” she says, looking up with puffy eyes. “What’s—Marlene, what’s going to happen to him? Sarah? Does anyone know what’s happening to Casey?”

He dips his head, trying to remain nondescript as he shoves open the stairwell door.

“Bryce?”

He ignores her.

“Bryce!” Esme reaches out and grabs his arm. “What’s going on?”

He swallows and shakes her hand off of him. “I just need to go, Esme. Ask Ethan. Or anyone else, really, I just—I need to go.”

She frowns and locks her hand around his wrist. “Like hell. Are you seriously going to leave your girlfriend behind now? When she needs you most?” With her free hand, she points furiously back upstairs. “I know she’s in there! I know my resident is fighting for her life! And like a coward, you’re running away.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not running away.”

“Sure looks like it to me.”

Bryce squeezes his eyes shut, begging his tears to stay away. “Jackie and Elijah are off today. Unless Casey or Sienna texted them, they have no way of knowing what just happened in there. They need to know—” They need to know that Casey might be dead tonight. He shakes his head again and pries Esme’s hand off his wrist. “And I need to make sure my little sister will be safe tonight.”

Esme blinks. “Do you think—”

“Esme, I’ve gotta go.” He doesn’t wait for her response, just sprints down the stairs. His lungs burn, from tears or from running, he doesn’t know.

People call his name. Surgical residents congratulate him on Kyra’s surgery. The one he kicked out of the OR glares at him. Ines tries to talk to him. He can’t hear them. His ears ring, and he grabs his keys and sprints outside.

Once he’s in his car, he breathes deeply. Or at least, he tries to. His breaths come fast and shallow, his hands shake, and he rests his head on his steering wheel.

Fuck.

His body starts to shake again, and as he’s reaching for the blanket in his car — the one that Casey told him to keep on hand, with how cold he gets in Boston weather and how traffic is — the shaking stops, and he bursts into tears.

“Fuck!” He buries his face in his hands, a sob tearing from the back of his throat. “Fucking —” he slams his left hand on the top of the steering wheel “— dammit!” His shoulders curl inwards, and sobs rack his body.

She can’t die. She can’t die. I can’t lose her. I can’t—

The sobs come louder now, and he hasn’t cried like this since he was eighteen years old, and he was flying all the way to Ohio State by himself, with no money, no family, and no friends. He hasn’t cried like this since his favorite teacher, the one who believed in him, the one who believed he could be a great surgeon like Michael DeBakey, fell victim to his parents’ schemes and looked at him with such hurt and betrayal every day of the year after that. He hasn’t cried like this since he was alone and unloved and unlovable, when life was hopeless and he had to carve out hope for himself.

Except there’s not hope now, not really.

Casey’s his best friend, his girlfriend, and he just—he cares about her so much. Everything inside of him begs God to rewind the clock, to put him in that room with the senator when Travis deployed the canister, to let him take Casey’s place. If one of us has to die, let it be me. Not her. Don’t let her die.

I love her.

He screams, his voice scratching the back of his throat, his fingers tugging at his hair. Why did it take so long for me to know? Why did I have to wait?

I love her. I love her I love her I love her.

And she’s going to die.

***

“Okay, Keiki, I’m not going to be back until tomorrow at the earliest.” Bryce moves into his bedroom, chewing his bottom lip. He idly picks up his overnight back and sets it down.

Keiki leans against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest. “Why?”

He sighs and grabs a fresh pair of scrubs and shoves them into his bag. “I told you, there was an assassination attempt at the hospital. They might need me.”

“There are other surgeons.”

He stands up straight, dropping his boxers on the cover. “Casey was a victim of the attack, too. She’s alive —” he nearly chokes on the next words “—for now, but it’s not looking good. One person died already, one’s in a coma, and I don’t think Raf has too much time either.” He shakes his head and moves into the bathroom. “I’m going to stay with her.”

Keiki bites the inside of her cheek and steps into his bedroom. “Anything I can do?”

Bryce tosses his toiletry bag onto the bed and drops to the ground, fishing under his bed for a pair of shoes. “Uh, can you try and find my green sweatshirt? The one from my surfing days? It’s Casey’s favorite.”

She nods and starts rifling through his closet.

“You know the drill: leftovers in the fridge, and you can use my DoorDash account if there’s nothing in there. Don’t leave the apartment unless there’s an emergency, you have my number and Case—” he swallows. “If there’s some kind of danger, go to Mrs. Zimmerman across the hall. She’s a sweet old lady, makes the best cakes, and she’ll take care of you.”

“I know the drill.” Keiki steps away from the closet, a sweatshirt folded over her arm. “I couldn’t find the one you were talking about, but I’ve seen Casey wear this one before.”

Bryce tosses a pair of tennis shoes on his bed and grabs the sweatshirt from Keiki. “Dammit, Casey must still have it at her place. Alright, this is fine.” He kisses Keiki’s head. “Thanks, Keiks. You know I love you, but…”

He’s never said it out loud before.

She nods understandingly and sits on his bed. “You love Casey more.”

He nods in agreement. “Yeah.”

“Have you told her?”

He ignores her, roughly shoving his clothes and shoes into his overnight bag. When he gets to the sweatshirt, he folds it carefully. Casey might not be able to wear it just yet, not while she’s in a hospital gown, but maybe…

“Can you grab the blanket from the couch? Not the one you use for bed, the other one?”

She frowns. “You didn’t answer my question, Bryce.”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “What do you think?” He shakes his head and stalks to the living room. “And now she might die before I can tell her.”

Keiki trails him. “So then tell her! What’s the worst that can happen?” She hops over the coffee table and sits on the blanket before Bryce can pull it to safety. “She already knows the worst stuff about you, and she stuck around.” She clears her throat and shifts on the blanket so he has no chance of pulling it away. “And if she doesn’t have the same feelings, well…at least you told her.”

“Keiks, I—I don’t know. I just…”

She stands up, eyes on fire. “Bryce Kai Lahela, you do not have the luxury of waiting. With Morgan, yeah, I understand. You were in high school, and Mom and Dad fucked her family over. But that’s not Casey. Please, just…don’t do something you’ll regret.” She hands him the blanket. “Tell her.”

He kisses her forehead. “See you tomorrow.”

***

Jackie runs up to him as soon as he steps back out of his car. “Where the hell were you?”

He glares at Jackie and slams his car door shut. His car beeps when he locks it. “In case you forgot, I have a little sister under my guardianship. I had to make sure she would be okay.” He shakes his overnight bag in her face, his keys also jingling with the movement. “Also, had to pack one of these. Like hell if I leave my girlfriend behind.”

She ducks her head. “Sorry, I just—”

He nods and shoulders his way inside. “I know. You’re worried about her. All of us are.” He clears his throat. “Where’s Elijah?”

Jackie walks in front of him. “Follow me.”

“Jackie, please —”

She turns and shushes him before grabbing his wrist. Dragging him along, she leads him into the locker room, where Elijah is just finishing up a call.

“Alright. Tell me if it reminds you of anything.” He turns around, face falling when he sees Bryce. “Sorry, that was one of my undergrad professors. He taught history of medicine and science, so I was hoping he knew something about reactions to biological weapons. Maybe something useful.” He lifts one shoulder in a half shrug. “Shoulda known better, though. He hasn’t done any research on this topic for decades.”

Bryce opens his locker and tosses his overnight bag inside. “That’s okay. It might help, and he might go through his research. Or talk to someone who might know.” He jerks his head in the direction of Casey’s room. “C’mon, let’s go see her.”

Jackie holds up a finger. “Hold on, Aurora’s on her way.”

Aurora runs inside the hospital a few minutes later, shoving past the handful of security guards — all of them shaken — with a shout and “I’m Harper Emery’s niece, let me in!” When she reaches the three of them, she slows to a walk and smooths her hair. “Where is she?”

“Follow me.” They stop at the nurses’ station to pick up Sienna, and then Bryce is jogging to the elevator, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Jackie rests a hand on his shoulder.

“She’ll be alright.”

He stares straight ahead. “You didn’t see her. Or Raf.” He hangs his head. “Fuck.”

“Either way,” Jackie shakes him a bit, “Casey’s probably scared out of her fucking mind. She trusts you. She loves you. Don’t make her more afraid than she already is.”

He lolls his head. “How in the hell am I supposed to do that?”

The elevator door dings and slides open. Jackie twists her lips. “I don’t know.”

Bryce leads them down the hall towards Casey’s room. As they get closer, he squares his shoulders and forces a smile, but he knows it doesn’t reach his eyes. And he knows Casey will notice it, too.

Casey gapes at them when they get to her room. She offers him a relieved smile and holds her hand up to the glass. His bravado melts into something more sincere, and though his smile isn’t as wide, it’s genuine, and he presses his hand against the glass. “Told you I’d be back. This time I brought some company.”

Her roommates crowd the front of the windows, speaking animatedly to her and Raf. He wants to sag against the wall and cry and cry and cry some more, but he tries to keep a brave face on. For her or for himself, he’s not entirely sure.

Ethan steps back and stands next to him. “It’s good. That you’re doing this, I mean. It’s helping her.”

He shrugs, his eyes still trained on Casey. “I wanted her to see her friends. They’re important to her.”

“So are you.” Ethan studies him for a moment. “How are you holding up?” He jerks his head in Casey’s direction. “She talks about you all the time, you know. And I’ve seen you two together.”

Bryce resists the urge to cross his arms. “So?”

“So this has to be just as hard on you for an entirely different reason.” Ethan sighs and squeezes his shoulder. “Look, in my experience, it’s just as difficult to deliver bad news to loved ones as it is to deliver the bad news to the patient. In fact, I think it’s harder. So how are you holding up?”

Bryce licks his lips. “It sucks,” he says quietly.

Ethan nods and faces forward once again. “I wish we’d never taken the senator on as a patient. Not that I’d wish this even on Tobias, but maybe…”

Maybe Casey wouldn’t have been caught in the crossfire.

He nods. “Yeah.”

Jackie gestures around at the lot of them. “We’re going to figure this out. All of us.”

Bryce steps forward and tries to force a smile. “I’m just a surgeon, but I’ll offer whatever help I can.” And it’s fucking nothing.

Casey’s eyes well with tears, and she shuffles closer. “Now’s not the time for that confidence of yours to do a runner, Bryce.”

Sienna cranes her neck to see him. “Yeah, you’re not just anything.”

He meets Casey’s gaze, and he prays she can read the love in his eyes. I’ll do whatever I can to save you. “Sorry, I mean we’ve got this.”

Casey wipes her cheeks furiously. “That’s better.”

Everything in him wants to reach for her, to tug her into his arms and bury his face in the crook of her neck, to squeeze her hair and whisper that he loves her. He wants to hold her hand and kiss her face and cradle her cheeks in his hands.

But in between them is a wall of glass, impenetrable, separating the dying from the living. “See you soon, Case.”

***

Baz leans back in his chair, shaking his head solemnly.

Bryce’s heart sinks. “So June was wrong?” We don’t have much time left.

“No,” Baz says, scratching the stubble on his chin, “June was right. It’s a maitotoxin.”

A heart-wrenching sob tears from Sienna’s throat. Elijah reaches up to rub her shoulder in consolation. Ethan pinches the bridge of his nose and leans against the wall. Jackie sets her chin, tears filling her eyes.

Bryce swallows, furrowing his brow. “But —” his blood runs cold, and he shudders as a shiver runs up his spine. “Fuck, there’s no cure for that.” He searches for a friend in the lab, but Sienna’s sobbing, Elijah’s fighting his own tears, Jackie won’t meet his eye, and he knows no one else except Ethan. He holds Ethan’s eye. “Casey’s—that means Casey’s going to die?”

The crushing weight of it all threatens to gut him. He stands up, and he nearly pitches forward. His stomach lurches, and whether that’s from a need to vomit or from the sobs threatening to bubble up, he doesn’t know. “I’m going to lose her,” he whispers.

Baz reaches out and catches his wrist. “She’s not gone yet.” With his free hand, he rubs his forehead. “We’ll try and save Rafael too, of course, but Casey’s lucky because she didn’t get as much of the toxin. She might survive.”

Bryce shakes off his hand. “Baz, what are the chances of her making it?” He shoves his hand through his hair, his chest heaving. “There’s no cure. And even if you guys could make one, she doesn’t have weeks! She doesn’t even have days! She —”

Ethan crosses the room quickly and sets both hands on his shoulders. “I know you care about her —”

Bryce shoves Ethan away. “Like hell! She’s my girlfriend, and I lo—” he sucks in a deep breath. “What can you all do? None of you are God! She’s going to die here, and if not tonight, then tomorrow, and —” his knees buckle. Ethan wraps an arm around him and helps lower him to the ground.

No one speaks.

***

He doesn’t know how his feet move. Right now, it feels like he can’t breathe, like his lungs stop before he can breathe in. His body trembles with each step, and yet, he can’t move quickly enough, can’t wait to stand in front of Casey’s room and see her alive for one of the last times.

Bryce squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head once. Tears escape down his cheeks, and he quickly reaches up to swipe them away. Sienna cries softly, her head on Jackie’s shoulder. In front of him, he can hear Elijah sniffling. The diagnosticians try to exude confidence, try and hold their chins high, but Baz’s eyes fill with tears.

And Casey will know it’s bad news.

She’s so far away from him.

He would do anything to trade places with her, even just to be in the same room as her and hold her and kiss her and tell her that he loves her and everything will be okay, but the glass windows that separate the living from the dying hold firm. Her face falls when her eyes meet his.

She swallows. “What is it?”

Ethan sighs deeply and runs a hand through his hair. Baz turns his head and swipes at his cheeks. Only June seems to have any level of composure.

“It’s a maitotoxin,” Ethan says. “One I’ve never seen before.” His voice gets quieter the more he explains.

Bryce finds himself gently shouldering himself forward, hand itching to touch the glass, to assure Casey that he’s there for her.

“We’ll find a way,” Ethan says. “We’ll fix this.”

Jackie lifts her chin. “You have the smartest diagnostic minds and the best residents at the hospital on this case. We’ll definitely find a cure with the nine of us working on it.”

“Make that more.” Aurora waves Tobias and a few other Mass Kenmore doctors forward. “I present you the best minds Mass Kenmore can offer.”

Bryce doesn’t hear much else, but he meets Aurora’s eyes, then Tobias’s, and prays that they can see what his voice fails to say. Thank you. Thank you for giving her another chance at life.

The diagnosticians wave goodbye to Casey and head back to the lab, but he stays by the window. He puts his hands in his white coat pocket, takes them out, and shakes them a little bit. When Casey tilts her head, studying him, he tries to force a smile. It won’t reach his eyes.

He clears his throat. “It’s all gonna be okay, Casey. I promise.” I pray. I pray, I promise. He shuffles closer. The glass is too damn thick.

She sniffles and presses her lips together. “You don’t have to be optimistic for my sake.” A stray tear falls down her cheek, and she reaches up to rub it away with her thumb.

Bryce sighs and licks his lips. His own eyes well with tears. This is harder than I thought it could be. She’s so small, and her body jerks with shivers. Her knees buckle, and she sways on her feet, but she refuses to move back to her bed. She stays with him, and he will stay with her, until death do them part.

“…I’m not,” he admits. “It’s for my sake. If I don’t stay optimistic —” he shakes his head ruefully, lifting his hand to the glass again, “— I’m gonna fucking lose it.” He breathes in shakily, past the point of caring about the unshed tears in his eyes. “I can’t let myself do that. Not yet.”

She steps forward and lifts both hands to the glass.

He presses his forehead to the window. “Not while there’s still hope,” he whispers.

“Bryce, I’m scared,” she whispers, her voice carrying through the glass. “I’m going to die tonight.”

His heart twinges. “What if I stayed with you for a while? Would that help? There’s another hazmat suit out here.” And he hates it, hates that he can only see her while wrapped in twenty pounds of plastic and completely unable to feel her skin, unable to kiss her, to press his forehead to hers. But it’s something, it would allow him to be with her, and he would cut off ten years of his life for the opportunity to be with her now.

She nods quickly. “Please stay with me tonight.”

Immediately, he suits up. Doesn’t give a damn whether or not he’s actually doing it right, but he saw June, Baz, and Ethan all do it before — twice, actually — and he’s itching to get in there and hold his girlfriend in his arms. As soon as he can, he steps through the decontamination tent, and envelops Casey in his arms.

She sighs in relief, her left arm tucked under his right and her right arm wrapped tightly around his neck. “Thank you,” she whispers, and he’s almost certain he can hear her tears dripping onto his hazmat suit.

He squeezes her tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” If I could’ve done anything — maybe I should’ve stayed in Kyra’s surgery, maybe invited her to watch, gotten lunch with her — maybe…

There’s nothing more in the world he wants to do than kiss her, so he settles on pulling her as close to himself as he dares, with her lungs as weak as they are.

She shakes her head. “It’s not your fault.”

He nods. “I know. I know it’s not—it’s only Travis’s and maybe that shit senator’s. But I’m so sorry. I wish I could do more.”

Casey steps away from him and studies him.

Bryce clears his throat and forces his smile again. It comes a bit easier, now that he can hold her in his arms. “So, am I handsome? Or am I somehow even more handsome in this suit? Be honest and know that I only accept constructive criticism in the form of praise.” His heart hammers in his chest.

At the sound of her telltale giggle, he relaxes. “It’s not quite doing it for me, I’m not going to lie. Still handsome and still the best eye candy in the hospital, but I’m docking points because I can’t see your hair.”

He nods solemnly. “Fair. My hair is my best feature.” Casey giggles again, and instinctively, he reaches out to brush his fingers over her cheek. “Let’s try and get your mind off this. What’s your favorite thing?”

She twists her lips. “You,” she says so quietly that he’s not sure he heard her right.

“Yeah?” he asks, the first genuine smile gracing his lips since this morning.

She nods again. “Yeah.”

“Doesn’t surprise me. Not to make you feel like you’re not special, but I’m a lot of people’s reason for living.” Please keep living. Keep fighting. If for no other reason, then for me.

Her jaw drops and she gently shoves him. “No fair! You asked me my favorite thing, not my reason for living. In light of the new phrasing, I’m changing my answer to ‘pictures of cute animals.’”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Okay, fair. Even I can’t be mad at that.”

She smiles brightly, in deep contrast to how frail her body is. Reaching out, she brushes his helmet. “Gosh, you’re pretty.”

And he doesn’t know why that cripples him, why that brings the tears back into his chest, but his smile falls, and he bites back tears. For her sake. She can’t know how scared he is.

Her eyes widen. “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?”

He shakes his head rapidly. “No.” He clears his throat. “I just…Case, I really am trying to stay positive. We both have to. But…but when I heard you were in danger, my heart stopped.” He holds his hand up to his stomach. “It dropped. I was so scared for you, Case. I was terrified, and I don’t—I’ve never been that scared before, and I pray to God I don’t have to be again.”

Casey nods, avoiding his eyes. She holds her left elbow in her hand, her free arm hanging limply at her side. “I know what you mean.”

Bryce squeezes her arm. “I called your parents.”

She sniffles, eyes flicking to his. “They’re visiting my brother in Oregon.”

“They said that. They’re gonna get here as soon as they can. Apparently, Logan’s also trying to make it up here, but they told me to tell you that it might be hard.”

“I wish I had my phone. Just so I could talk to them, y’know.” Her tears are flowing more freely. “To say goodbye.” She clears her throat and looks up at him. “I’m glad I got that with you, at least.”

He cups her face in his plastic gloved hands. Theoretically, he could chicken out right now. Could just tell her that she means a lot to him, more than she knows, but it’s her last night, and he would hate himself if he never told her. “I love you, Casey. More than you know, probably. And the idea of losing you…” his throat closes, a rock forming, so he shakes his head ruefully. He meets her eyes. “I love you so very much, Casey Grace Valentine. More than anything.”

Despite the saddened goodbye, the desperate reveal, her smile is genuine, and despite the plastic helmet on his head, she stands on her tiptoes and kisses the front of his mask. “I love you, too, Bryce Lahela. More than anything, and more than anyone.” Casey shuffles forward and presses her forehead to his chest. He wraps his arms around her. “And if tonight’s my last night on earth, then you’re the one I want to spend it with.”

He clears his throat, trying to avoid propping his chin on her head. It couldn’t be comfortable. “Well, damn, Casey. Talk about bittersweet.”

She steps back and twines her fingers in his. “So maybe we can just focus on the sweet part?”

Bryce nods. “You should get some rest.” He hates saying it, because as long as she’s awake, he knows she’s alive, and he can hear her voice, can share whispered I love yous between them, but her body is fighting to give her even the smallest chance, and she keeps swaying on her feet.

Nodding, she shuffles to the bed, but as soon as she reaches it, she turns to face him. “Would you hold me?”

His smile is watery. “I’d love to, Casey.” The setup is awkward, with the tiny hospital bed and his bulky hazmat suit, but they make it work, and he curls around her body, pulling her as close to himself as he can manage. If he closes his eyes, he thinks he can feel her heartbeat against his chest. But he can also hear it on the monitor, and right now, that’s the most beautiful sound in the world to him.

Well. Second, really, only to Casey’s voice.

She runs her fingers over his suit. “I wish I could feel your skin.”

He shifts, trying to assure her of their closeness. “You will.”

With her back to him, he can’t see her tears, but he can hear them in her voice and when she sniffles. “I wish I could kiss you.”

His heart shatters, and he hates, he despises how this might be her last night, and they won’t even share a last kiss. But she doesn’t need his anger or depression now, she needs assurance. She needs the unshakable Bryce Lahela, so he forces confidence into his voice and props himself up so she can hear him better. “Sorry, was I mumbling? You will, Casey. You’re going to get through this.”

She tugs him back to their original position, his arm draped tightly over her stomach. “Bryce, there’s not a cure for a maitotoxin. If I don’t die tonight, I die tomorrow. And—and I won’t be able to kiss you one last time, or feel your skin. I won’t be able to run my hands through your hair again or—or make love with you again or anything.” She chokes on a sob. “And that’s not to mention my roommates or my family. They’re downstairs, working on a cure that will probably come too late instead of saying goodbye.”

“Or they’re saving your life.”

“It will be too late!” she shouts. “I’m going to die, Bryce. You’re a surgeon. We’re both doctors, so you and I both know that I’m not walking out of this alive.”

He sighs deeply. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hoping right now, Case. It’s all we have.”

Her shoulders shake. “I’m scared, Bryce. Just…tell me it’ll be okay.”

Bryce brushes her hair away from her neck. “It will be, Casey, I really believe that. Ethan and the others will come through.” He pulls her so close to him that the plastic probably does no good, but he couldn’t care less. “Until then,” he says, “just stay with me.”

She nods. “I love you. So much.”

He wishes he could kiss her. “I love you, too.”

***

He doesn’t sleep. His body wants to, of course, but the adrenaline still pulses through his veins, and the idea that if he closes his eyes, Casey might stop breathing and her heart might stop beating is too much for him to bear, so he keeps himself awake.

He prays, too. Not because he’s particularly religious, but if there’s one thing he has left, it’s hope, and he can’t see where God or the universe would hold it against him to hope, to pray. He doesn’t know who to pray to, really, so he just throws it out there and hopes something sticks. It has to. It has to.

Around five or six in the morning — Bryce can’t see the clock around all the plastic covering, but the sun is rising — Casey wakes up with a jerk, looks around wildly, catches his eye, and retches into the sick bag by her bed. He bites his lip and rubs her back soothingly. When the nausea stops, she leans back into his chest, blinking tiredly.

“I hate this,” she says. Her lips are dry.

With his plastic-covered hands, he smooths her hair away from her face. “Do you have a hair tie?”

She shakes her head, but there’s a small smile on her mouth. “Guess I didn’t die last night, after all.”

He squeezes her shoulder. “See? There’s still hope.”

The bags under her eyes have grown darker. Vomit crusts the corners of her mouth. She can’t stop shivering, and she keeps scratching her skin. Her voice is weak.

There’s still hope, he said, but she just keeps getting worse. He can hope and pray all he wants, but her death is fast-approaching, and if the other doctors can’t come through by this afternoon…

Ethan, Baz, and June walk into the room. Casey’s roommates crowd around the window, Sienna nearly bouncing on the balls of her feet. Jackie smiles, and Elijah reaches out to grip her hand. Tobias meets Ethan’s eye and nods once.

Bryce sits up immediately. Does that mean…?

Jackie can’t contain her glee. “We did it! We found a cure.”

Ethan nods slightly, a smile curling at his mouth. “At least, we hope so.”

Both Bryce and Casey furrow their brows. “You hope so?”

Tobias clears his throat. “We didn’t exactly have time to test it out.”

Sienna hooks a thumb in his direction. “But we administered it to Rafael. It—it might be too late for him, but…”

“—but he hasn’t shown any signs of getting worse,” Elijah chips in. He nods at Casey. “There’s hope. We think it’ll work.”

Casey hums. “What else do I have to lose?”

Ethan steps forward, syringe in hand. “If you would.”

Casey holds her arm out to him, but her body has clearly weakened overnight. Bryce cradles her against his chest, holding her arm still as Ethan prepares the injection. “How do we know if it works?”

Ethan shrugs, sliding the needle into her vein. “I’m assuming something similar as what has happened to Mr. Aveiro: no worsening of symptoms and hopefully even improvement. We’ll run some tests in a few hours, assuming you feel the same or better.” He steps back. “Dr. Lahela, if you would.”

Bryce’s eyes flash. “You honest to God think I’m leaving her here?”

June sighs. “You have to. The hazmat suit only has so much available oxygen, and you stretched it far beyond its limit already. We don’t want to have to admit you, too.”

He sets his jaw. “I’m willing to take that risk.”

Casey gently places her hand on his chest. “But I’m not. They’ll come get you if anything happens to me.” Her eyes seek out her friends and colleagues. “Right?”

They all nod. “I’ll send for Bryce personally,” Baz replies.

She squeezes his hand, and for a second, he thinks he can feel her skin. “Go,” she whispers. “I have a fighting chance now.”

***

“You need to get some sleep,” Jackie tells him, handing him a cup of coffee all the same.

Bryce takes it from her, mouthing his thanks, and lifts it to his lips. Across the room, Tobias shakes Ethan’s hand, clapping him on the shoulder. Aurora stands behind him, shifting her weight from foot to foot. When it looks like he’s about to leave, she hooks her thumb over her shoulder, and he nods.

“Sienna,” Aurora says, crossing the room, “you should get some sleep, too.”

Sienna wipes her eyes hastily. “Danny’s dead, Aurora.”

Aurora presses her lips together and rubs her back soothingly. “I’m so sorry, Sienna.”

Bryce nods, lowering his cup of coffee. “I’m sorry for your loss, Sienna.” He sighs, sets down his drink, and wraps her in a hug. “Truly, I’m so sorry.”

She sniffles and squeezes him tightly. “But Raf and Casey are still here. That’s good.” She steps back and forces a smile. “It makes it easier, I think.”

Aurora wraps an arm around her shoulder and guides her to the on-call room. Bryce sighs again and leans against the countertop, reaching behind him to grab his coffee.

Jackie crosses her arms. “So?”

He looks up. “So what?”

“You’re not going to get some sleep?”

He pinches the bridge of his nose and knocks back what’s left in his cup. The coffee is lukewarm. “I need to check on Keiki and give her an update. And I know the Valentines are on their way, so I should get in contact with them, tell them Case is still alive. At least I have some good news for them.”

Jackie grabs his shoulders and steers him out of the break room. “And you’ll have more soon. We can’t confirm anything yet, and you need to rest.”

“Jackie, I —”

She stops and moves to stand in front of him. “You’re not the only person who cares about her.” She gestures vaguely around the hallway. “Why else do you think we stayed up all night to synthesize a cure? Why Aurora brought her colleagues from Mass Ken? Why Tobias and Ethan set aside their differences to work on this?” Jackie glances over her shoulder and leans closer. “Dude, Sienna was crushing hard on Danny, and he died, and she still continued to work on this cure to help Casey.”

He nods and bites his thumbnail. “No, I know. I know how close you all are, but—Jackie, she’s the love of my life.” It comes out easier now, now that Casey knows. “I can’t stand not knowing.”

“Well, you’re in the same boat as the rest of us. Text your sister and Casey’s family, give them an update, then get some rest. I’ll personally make sure Sienna knows about this, too.”

Bryce chokes out a watery laugh and holds his hands up in surrender. “I give up, you win.” He holds up his index finger in Jackie’s face. “But the moment we have something definitive on Casey, you come get me.”

Jackie sticks out her hand. “Deal.”

***

From: Bryce

Stayed w Case all night

Wore a hazmat suit, dw

Gonna still be at the hospital until we know more

How were you last night?

From: Pest

are you okay??? hows casey????

and dw about me

From: Bryce

I’m fine just a little tired

We found a cure?? We think?? We’re waiting to know more

Also I’m your guardian, I’m legally obligated to worry, how were you last night??

From: Pest

well get some rest ig

and thats good!!!! rooting for her (tell her i said hi)

alright fine it was a rough night but thats bc of you and casey and i was worried

From: Bryce

I will soon, just need to update the Valentines (same for telling Case you said hi)

Did you eat??

From: Pest

no i photosynthesized

From: Bryce

Dick

From: Pest

all that was in the fridge was ur chicken from hell and it was late so i asked mrs zimmerman for food

love that woman to death

she gave me lasagna and cookies

…

also i watched tv until late and slept in your bed lol

From: Bryce

Wow

I go through a crisis

Discover I’m in love with my dying girlfriend

And you steal my bed and insult my cooking

From: Pest

oh pls

you got food poisoning from it too

From: Bryce

Ughhhhhh

Just go to school, I’ll keep you updated on Casey

And don’t try and argue your way out of it, I can’t be responsible for you committing truancy

…

But depending on how she’s doing, I’ll try and get you to visit Casey asap

From: Pest

how can i concentrate in school when my favorite sibling is deathly ill

From: Bryce

Do you want me to tell Case that you tried to use her as an excuse to get out of school

Bc I will

From: Pest

fine!!!! getting ready

[middle finger emoji]

***

Two hands grip his shoulders, and he starts awake, looking around wildly, hands forming into a fist. His eyes land on an overjoyed Jackie, who’s bouncing up and down. “It worked! Bryce, it worked!”

He sits up straight. “Casey’s alright?”

Jackie nods quickly, eyes welling up with tears. “She’s alright! I mean, of course, she has to recover, but the maitotoxin’s not going to kill her.”

Bryce grins and springs out of bed. “I’ve gotta go see her!”

“What, you’re not gonna update her folks?”

He stops in his tracks at that, fishing his phone out of his pocket. “You know what, fair.” With one hand, he pushes his hair away from his face while he scrolls through his contacts for Mr. Valentine’s contact.

From: Bryce

Good news!! Casey’s improving!!! The cure the diagnostics team administered to her is working, and she should be on the road to recovery by the time you get here.

[Message not delivered!]

He groans. “They must be on the flight.” Shaking his head, he tucks his phone back into his pocket. “Doesn’t matter. I need to go see her.”

Jackie waves her hand. “Go see your girl, lover boy.”

Bryce sprints upstairs, breezing quickly past Harper and Takana. He can’t help the smile on his face, so when he catches Harper’s eye, she physically relaxes and gives him a nod. Tanaka stops him briefly to shake his hand and to congratulate him.

Normally, Bryce would prioritize this kind of conversation with Takana. It’s not just congratulating him that his girlfriend is still alive and hope is alive and well — after all, he did get through the most difficult part of Kyra’s surgery and essentially left Tanaka to close. His career could catapult with this conversation.

And it will. It can just wait a few minutes.

Bryce excuses himself and bounces on the balls of his feet while he waits for the elevator. Maybe he should text Keiki. She should be getting out of school soon. He glances at his watch. In twenty minutes, actually.

The elevator dings before he can fish his phone out of his pocket, so he slips inside, presses the button for the seventh floor, and taps his fingers against his thigh during the agonizingly long elevator ride. Once the elevator doors begin to slide open, he squeezes past them and sprints to her room.

Before he reaches her room, he slows to a stop and pushes his hand through his hair. If he cranes his neck, he can see her through the glass. She sits on her bed, swinging her legs back and forth, staring outside while biting the inside of her lip.

The glass. It separated the dying from the living, but now, it separates the living from each other.

He strides through the decontamination tent, knowing that there is absolutely no way that he can erase the smile off his face. Opening his arms wide, he locks eyes with Casey. “It worked!”

Her jaw drops and her eyes widen. She straightens.

Bryce lets out a watery laugh, brushing the tears away from his cheeks with his thumb. “I told you it was going to be okay. I told you —”

Casey streaks across the room, launching herself into his arms with such force that he stumbles backwards.

Immediately, he wraps his arms around her, pressing one hand to the small of her back to pull her closer. With his other hand, he cups the back of her neck. She tucks her face into the crook of his neck, and he can feel her tears dripping hot and fast against his neck.

He rests his chin on her shoulder. “Couldn’t wait for me to cross the room, huh?”

She shakes her head quickly. “No.” Stepping back, she grabs the front of his scrubs and pulls him into a dizzyingly deep kiss. His arms wrap around her to hold her close.

When they finally break apart, he rests his forehead against hers. She lifts her hand to brush her fingers across his cheeks. “I love you,” he says.

Casey stands on her tiptoes, capturing his mouth in hers again. “I love you, too.”

Bryce cups her face in his hands and kisses her once, twice, three times. “Thank you,” he whispers, eyes fluttering shut.

She wraps one arm around his neck, keeping one hand on his cheek. “For what?”

He kisses her forehead. “For being alive.”

[bobzora]

there are some bits of what they did with the rooftop scene that i like and others where i was like :/ this isn't as good as it could be. and this is an important scene lmao

[demarogue]

Gettin' Through the Holidays Mental Health Tricks

If y'all are anything like me, this time of year is triggering AF. Here are some small, very easy grounding exercises that I was taught by my therapist, basically in order of how much I like them for this rage-inducing season. You make like them in a different order, depending on your rage-to-despair ratio.

Push a wall: literally go up to a wall and try to push it over. Really try. I promise you won't push it over, but give it your best shot. Try to hold it as long as you can, and then take a breather and assess whether you need to repeat. Why it works: This is a quick, physical expulsion of the fight-or-flight feeling. It's a bit like punching a wall, but without the potential to hurt yourself/look scary/damage things. You can even do it in front of people and say you're stretching, they'll never know (unless the wall actually falls down, but this will not happen, I assure you).

Shake like a dog: Animals shake to release stress, and you are also an animal. Setting aside time to just shake it out, as vigorously as you can, arms and legs, face, stick your tongue out, pretend you're shaking like a wet dog. You can dance instead, if that feels better, and you can do this to music, but basically the more unhinged you can be, the better. If you are in a place you can scream, scream too! Why it works: like the above, this is a release of pent-up stress and anxiety. Especially if your rage-to-woe ratio is high, some kind of physical exertion is often the best way to burn through the cortisol and adrenaline you're building up.

Bilateral Tapping: Cross your arms over your chest so that your fingertips are at your shoulders, and slowly tap, one hand at a time, back and forth, for about a minute. Breathe slowly. Why it works: This is weird as hell, but because this engages both sides of your brain, it helps override the activity of the amygdala, which is the part of your brain that Makes The Fear. If you're being literally triggered in a situation, i.e. you're having a trauma response, or reliving some family trauma, this is a good one.

Box Breathing: From a comfortable position (can really be seated, laying down or standing), inhale slowly for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, then repeat. You can do it for shorter counts or longer counts, but if you vary the counts make sure the exhale is longer than the inhale. You can close your eyes or leave them open. Why it works: This exercise helps you move from a sympathetic (activated) nervous system response to a parasympathetic (balanced) response. I do this one every day, and it's a good gateway to meditation. Especially helpful in anxious or tense situations, but I find if I'm very triggered I need one of the other ones first, or it can make anxiety worse. Breathwork is amazing but not usually as a first exercise if you're very activated, or have been activated a long time.

Ice: Lots of ways to do this one – hands in cold water for 30 seconds, ice pack on the back of your neck, dip your entire face into a bowl of ice water (this one's the most effective). Why it works: I kinda think this is hilarious, but this activates your mammalian dive reflex. It immediately slows your heart-rate, so if you are feeling your blood pressure and heart rate rising, this one is very good. The only reason this one's at the bottom of my list is because I hate being cold.

I wish you all a very get-through-the-holidays-without-hurting-yourself. Take time alone if you need it.

[lorenlily]

came to a realisation about myself last night that i seem to have developed a setting where i can only bring myself to read a book if it's manageable in one sitting...which explains a lot...

[bluelovessss]

Day 1 & 2 of Sienna Trinh Appreciation Week

Day 1 ~ Who is Sienna Trinh?

She's an intern working at Edenbrook. She's friendly, kind, caring and happy nature. She loves making new friends and like talking to her patients.

Day 2 ~ Her hobbies

I like to imagine her hobby being baking as she's always open to new things and I guess baking is one of those things which she might actually end up liking.

Hosted by @siennatrinhappreciationweek @openheartfanfics

[partiallysame]

Being Price’s lil wife

-Task force 141 knew Price was married. Man wore his ring religiously, always putting it back on the second they were in the helicopter/plane/whatever after each mission

-He’d come to work with a lunch packed with a cute lil heart note

-To be honest they all assumed you were the same age as Price (old) He always said he’d been “married for years” (3)

-They never knew your name, Price only ever referred to you as The Missus

-Gaz swore Price had a photo of you in his wallet (he did) but they never knew what you looked like untilllllllll

-You called your husband simply to complain. The AC had gone out and the repair man wouldn't be able to get there for a couple days. No no this simply would not do, his perfect lil lady could not be uncomfortable in her own home he wouldn’t have it but fuck he’s out of the country for a few more days. His team however is not and while stupid, they do know how to do maintenance work (why? Just because.)

-He called his team for a very important mission. Gave them the address, accompanied with “I don’t want to hear a fucking thing about you causing any trouble or being disrespectful to the Missus you hear?” The boys were absolutely giddy to finally see the ever so important Missus.

-The second you opened the door Soap was apologizing for having the wrong house and oh so politely asked if you knew where the Price household was. This had to be the wrong one because there you stood, pretty young thing, big doe eyes. Standing in just a big shirt ending at the very tops of your thighs, lashes batting at the three soldiers standing at your door.

-“You’ve got the right place. John told me you were coming, please come in.” You had to hold in a giggle, watching all of their eyes go wide. Gaz immediately looking at the sky, the floor, anywhere but the wife of his captain that he was just undressing with his eyes.

-When you turned to guide them into the house they all saw PRICE printed on the back of the large tshirt just barely covering your ass (this is your own home pants are never required and its hot as hell without the ac). Now it was Ghost’s turn to look anywhere but at you.

-As they worked you’d bring them water or snacks. They now understood why Price kept you hidden from them. The perfect lil housewife. The woman of all of their dreams already taken.

-When they were finished they went to the kitchen to inform you they were done only to find a full meal set on the table waiting for them but worst of all? There you were reaching up to the top cabinet. On your tippy toes, your shirt (Price’s shirt) riding up enough to expose the bottom of your ass and lacey pink panties. Soap had to bite his knuckle to keep from groaning. Ghost grabbing the tops of his teammates heads, turning them away from the incredible sight in front of them.

-Price was right to keep you hidden from them

-They might just have to sneak in and break something every time Price was out of town if it meant this is what they got to see.

Price's lil wife Masterlist

[silver-rings-and-rabbits]

Open Heart Second Year, chapter 12

It’s too soon. I’ve always thought the jump from attack to memorial was too quick. There was still so many characters we didn’t see during chapter 11 (Naveen, Harper, Zaid, Ines, Esme) and we needed a chapter just to absorb everything that happened.

My personal hc was that Raf could go home as long as he had someone looking after him. He had Juliana, but MC’s roommates would all be working long hours so he ended up staying in hospital a bit longer.

I know in reality PB couldn’t be bothered to rewrite this small detail.

Juliana ❤️ I miss my grandma…

One of Ethan’s diamond scenes prompts you to help him fix a relationship, and if you’re romancing him, it suggests you can restart your own. Rafael gets a similar prompt for his chapter 12 scene but the prompt to rekindle an old flame appears whether you’re romancing him or not.

Just another dialogue point that doesn’t change and therefore doesn’t make sense, or at least sounds weird on his path. For example:

(That’s an interesting way to describe a break-up). It makes sense on his romance path…but why would a friendly MC grow apart from him? On my Ethan playthrough I believed my MC was really happy for Raf and Sora and invited them both out when the group met up. There’s certain dialogues I now won’t take for Raf’s platonic route to avoid these, but it’s pretty rubbish if it wasn’t intended to be romantic. At least PB had the foresight to change the dialogue during the kissing scene.

So are you ❤️ (he’s right though)

Matthew, you’re going to a funeral. Stop looking hot.

“Just like that”. Astute observation, PB.

And the whole scene of the wake. Every single time, my mind replaces Danny and Bobby with Rafael and I wonder whether the memorial would have been very different or would it still feel rushed and uncaring? Only half the friend group were given funeral outfits for gods sake.

And PB did it again:

Not letting me visit my own love interest. And this was after the rewrites. Why couldn’t MC go back to Rafael?? I don’t even care that they wouldn’t have sex, they needed to spend time together. After a book full of two Ethan scenes per chapter, you suddenly can’t do that?? Bullshit.

And to think…we were a few days away from this being Rafael’s funeral.

(I chose Jackie, again because it made sense with her and Matthew living together, but the choices are either awkwardly navigating flirty dialogue or leaving her crying that it should have been her funeral.)

There’s mentions of Elijah really struggling through the service, something he’s been to too many of, and it’s never mentioned again. We don’t get to catch up with Bryce at all unless we choose him at the end. And Jackie will tell you about how much she hates the person she sees in the mirror, only to never bring it up again.

On Ethan’s romance path, he gets extra dialogue at the beginning AND during the memorial.

My thoughts at this point:

This whole situation was handled so gracelessly. It doesn’t get the build-up it deserves, and the aftermath is treated like an obligation to get through. As I mentioned before, the character who actually gets all the emotion is the character who was never in danger (Ethan). But we don’t have the time or money to give everyone else the same, so rather than spreading their resources between the LIs, PB wrote dialogue in a weird halfway spot: awkward if you’re not romancing them, not deep enough and now cheapened if you are romancing them.

And then we know MC goes back to the hospital before they’re ready and absolutely nothing comes from it.

The characters faced something deeply traumatic that would have killed them, but the funeral is then rushed, characters aren’t looked after, and then before you can say ‘free healthcare’ we’re back at the diagnostics team like nothing happened because apparently nothing is more important than Ethan and MC.

Mature and emotional storyline my ass. The attack was put in to knock off a LI for shock value and nothing more.