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demonhanabi · 4 months ago

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The Bizarro Paradigm Shift Chapter 1

Originally posted on AO3 on November 2023

Penny opens her eyes and immediately closes them. She’s getting better at this daily hangover thing…She wishes that was a joke.

Most nights she needs to have a drink, if she or Leonard wants to have sex then she definitely needs a drink. The guilt at that thought comes immediately but she can’t deny that it’s true.

She’s in Leonard’s bed, they don’t cuddle. He has gas and she has no patience, waking up with his arm around her makes her feel trapped so after the third attempt each night he stays on his side of the bed. Sitting up on the bed Penny tussles up her hair and grabs a handful, thinks about going to the salon. She likes her blond hair a little lighter, but then she discards the thought. Why bother?.

Looking down at the man sleeping beside her Penny feels that guilt again. She doesn’t love Leonard, these days she can barely stand him. At least not without alcohol being involved. He’s not the sweet guy she met 8 years ago, maybe he never was. But at this point in her life he’s her best option at a stable relationship and if they need alcohol to have sex, well she was a witness to her parents needing to do the same.

‘Get a grip Penny’ Leonard is not the worst guy she could end up with. But was that enough? The conversation she had with Amy and Bernadette about boring love is still replaying constantly in her mind. Was this really all there was to it? Bernadette seemed to think so. Her fellow blond acted scandalized if Penny expressed a desire to feel loved and cared for, ‘What are you talking about Penny? Leonard is a great guy, you hold onto him.’ Bernadette’s voice overlaps with that of her mother and Penny is nauseous.

She needs some coffee and Sheldon always makes her feel better and laugh, and she’s in the mood for cartoons as well.

Hearing Leonard snort in his sleep makes her hurry, she puts on a pair of his pajama pants that always look short on her and grabs the first shirt she can get her hands on and grimaces once she realizes it’s ‘her’ Princeton shirt. She had liked the shirt when he gave it to her, until he opened his mouth ‘So you can pretend you went to college.’ Penny had wanted to punch Leonard and his stupid grin. She doesn’t bother with socks or slippers, she knows that Sheldon will say something about her dragging germs all over the place but she doesn’t care.

Right before stepping out of Leonard’s door she hears it again, his stupid little snort and Penny turns to glare at him. Shouldn’t she find things like this cute and endearing?.

She’s so focused on glaring back at the man on the bed that she misses the sudden flash of light in the doorway. There is a sound of something being suctioned but by the time her brain has reacted to the sound she’s already falling. Her ears are popping and her feet find no purchase, she can feel herself falling and at the same time being still. It’s confusing and it lasts for a second…or maybe it was longer than an hour.

Penny doesn’t know how but suddenly she’s touching the hardwood of the hallway again. Something’s off and as she turns to Leonard’s room to ask if he felt that too her breath is gone. Leonard’s room is gone.

The room itself is still there but everything in it is different. Penny needs to make sure her eyes are not lying to her so she walks into the new room and examines it in a detached way. It’s obviously being used as a closet of sorts, one half of the room is full to the brim with clothes and shoes, ‘I like those shoes’, but is seeing a pair of Wilfreda shoes that actually forces Penny to focus, because she’s so jealous of whoever this closet belongs to, she also sees a pair of Mingosli shoes next to the other pair and it takes her a moment to realize that all of the shoes in this section are Manolo Blahnik. For her own sanity she steps away to look at the other half of the room.

It’s filled with geek memorabilia, comics, figurines, posters and even a life-size cutout of Spock (TOS version she notices); she can see some miniature trains in the bottom shelves as well. In the middle of the room sits a pretty cute wooden bench, the wood looks worn but well cared for. Penny runs a hand over the bench and she just knows that there’s a story here, this bench is important for whoever lives here. And suddenly she feels like an intruder, she’s glancing into the life of someone without their permission, so she leaves the room and closes the door behind her. Hard.

Penny cringes at the slam of the door. Only to open her eyes and mouth wide at the voice that comes from the living room. She’s heard that voice often, in proofs, failed audition tapes and home movies. It’s her own voice.

"Sheldon? Sweetie, are you okay?" The tone is warm and teasing, and it makes Penny’s stomach churn. When was the last time she sounded like this? This bubbly and happy?

Had she time-traveled into the future? That would explain the closet. ‘That room screams Sheldon, not Leonard.’ She ignores the stray thought. If this wasn’t time travel then…’There’s an infinite number of universes Penny.’ Sheldon’s voice is clear in her head.

She needs to know, her feet take her towards the living room. She hopes that Sheldon is right and that meeting another version of you will implode the entire universe. ‘That’s a joke God.’

"Moonpie? Are you stuck again and need my hel-" The voice trailed off as the owner caught sight of Penny.

No explosion, so Penny takes that as a good sign. Both blond women observe each other and this…Bizarro Penny, ‘Sheldon is rubbing too much on you’, is her, but not her. Bizarro Penny looked good, light blonde hair, Hello Kitty shorts and a very cute orange tank top. This Penny obviously spent more time under the sun because her skin is golden. ‘I traveled back in time’ This was her from 8 years ago.

Penny then caught sight of the calendar on the side of the fridge. Same month, same day and same year as in her own world, that is, if her memory served her right and all of this wasn’t a dying vision created by her brain in her final moments. ‘Maybe Leonard ate cheese and finally killed me while we slept?’.

She pinched her thigh and finally had to accept it. Dimension travel. ‘Holy. Crap. On. A. Cracker.’

As Bizarro Penny examined her, Penny felt suddenly self-conscious, she was wearing her shitty Princeton tee and Leonard’s way too short on the ankles pants, her hair was basically half dark and light blond and Penny was perfectly aware of her split ends. ‘I wish that I had known, would have worn my best clothes…although, maybe not, they make me look like Leonard’s mom.’

Joking kept the hysteria at bay, Penny had never had a panic attack before but she had a hunch that she was pretty close to finding out how one felt like, how often do you meet another version of yourself? And specially find yourself lacking? Because damn, this Bizarro Penny looked good.

Penny was debating whether to compliment Bizarro Penny and if it would be technically narcissistic when Bizarro Penny sighed loudly in frustration and pinched the bridge of her nose. Three deep breaths and Bizarro Penny is opening one eye as if to check if she’s still there.

Feeling a bit silly, Penny does a cute flirty wave, and decides it might have been a bad choice when Bizarro Penny slams her eyes closed again and goes back to taking calming breaths before finally asking "Sheldon?"

Penny is not sure what to actually reply, so she settles for what she hopes looks like a casual shrug and not reveal that Penny is about to lose all her marbles.

Bizarro Penny’s sudden yell makes Penny startle, "Sheldon Lee Cooper! If this is one of your jokes I swear that you will be sleeping in the couch for months you hear me!" Wait a goddamn second.

Penny’s eyebrows try to escape her face and her mouth falls open, because this can’t be true. Bizarro Penny just used the type of threat you use on a boyfriend, but that couldn’t be right. And suddenly she remembers the closet and her stomach drops. ‘It can’t be…’

The voice of the Wackadoodle that she both loved and hated came from the hallway to show Penny that the universe actually had a pretty wicked sense of humor. "Penny? I thought you would be watching that dreadful show of yours, I was just reading about this new-" Penny still with her mouth open turned and looked at Bizarro Sheldon, expecting to see…well, she was not sure what she was expecting but he looked just like her Sheldon, plaid and comic book shirt included, this Sheldon also had a thing for the Flash she noticed, he had a bundle of papers in one hand and trailed off when he finally looked up and saw Penny and Bizarro Penny standing there, one dumbfounded and one pissed off.

Bizarro Sheldon was, well, he was just Sheldon, no tattoos, no leather jacket, no evil Spock goatee, no nothing outwardly noticeable that she could see or explain why Bizarro Penny was apparently boning Bizarro Sheldon. Not that Sheldon was ugly, he had that whole tall and confident thing going on but he opened his mouth and talked about his bowel movements and you kinda forget he’s hot. Penny ignores the fantasies she’s had about Sheldon’s big hands grabbing her ass, because they’re just fantasies, nothing more. Sheldon would never, ‘I mean, it took Amy 3 years to get him comfortable with innocent pecks of the lips.’

As for the man himself he stood there and watched her in the same way he would watch his whiteboard when a difficult problem eluded him and wow, he had clear blue eyes just like her Sheldon. Feeling herself react to that thought Penny crossed her arms in front of chest because she forgot to wear a bra and one, while this might be a version of Sheldon it wasn’t her Sheldon, and she wasn’t totally comfortable with the idea of him looking at her so closely, and two, she really didn’t want to announce to the room her sudden state. Not to mention, this Sheldon seemed to have a deal. And that deal was Penny.

Bizarro Sheldon finally stopped studying Penny and turned his head slowly to Bizarro Penny, a perfect eyebrow went up and he asked in a teasing voice, "Is it my Birthday?"

This finally seemed to snap Bizarro Penny out of her anger because she just laughed, like it was the funniest thing ever. But Penny could feel a full body flush grow, this was not possible, Penny must have misheard, or this joke had a different meaning in this world because there’s just no way that her sweet and innocent Wackadoodle just made a sex joke, or implied one about a threesome. ‘Alternate universes are stupid and dumb.’

Seeing Bizarro Sheldon laugh finally forced Penny to take a closer look at him. He looked good, younger even, he was standing in a confident way that made her realize it was missing from her Sheldon and when Bizarro Sheldon smugly said ‘Bazinga!’ Penny wants to throttle him.

Still laughing a little, Bizarro Sheldon went to sit on his spot. Because of course he does, the couch is different but the 0,0,0,0 remains. And that comforts Penny more than it should really, but among so many things being suddenly different, the fact that Sheldon’s spot is still there grounds Penny as well.

Bizarro Sheldon stopped laughing but on his face sits that same little smirk that makes her stomach flutter whenever her Sheldon did it.

"Fascinating, multiverse travel is beyond my ken at the moment but the me from that universe must be brilliant!" His eyes are alight with wonder and she can see him vibrate with questions. So Penny quickly bursts his bubble and explains that: A) Penny doesn’t know how she got here. B) As far as she knew, the other Sheldon was simply watching cartoons in his spot and not working on any device or machine. C) Penny was kinda freaking out about the entire thing being possible and was still hoping she was dreaming because she wanted to go back to her own universe.

Bizarro Sheldon looks almost offended, "Seriously Penny, there is nothing to worry about, Sheldon and Penny Cooper are here and we’re going to get you back home" Bizarro Penny had prepared a cup of coffee and handed it to her, she nodded in thanks and took a gulp and almost spit it back out when Bizarro Penny took a seat on Sheldon’s leg and in a move that only comes from years of familiarity she saw in disbelief as his hand went to her hip and then Sheldon did that thing where he starts planning things in his head and ignores the rest of the world, except this is the first time she had seen him do that with a lapful of Penny.

She went to gulp more coffee when her brain finally caught up to what was said and she muttered ‘Penny Cooper?’ and Penny doesn't know what her voice sounded like but Bizarro Penny doesn’t look impressed and in a very Sheldon-like manner raises an eyebrow and lifts her left hand to show the rings that sit there and Penny could only stare, a beautiful rose gold ring with a pink diamond is accompanied by an elegant white gold or titanium band. Penny’s mouth is suddenly desert dry, she had wondered about Sheldon before of course, but he always seemed so aloo-

Bizarro Sheldon exclaims and interrupts her line of thought "I got it! I need to go to the university for some equipment to make sure but I will be right back" and if Penny wasn’t freaked out enough she saw as Sheldon patted Bizarro Penny’s butt to get her to stand up and quickly kissed her before dashing out the front door, and she doesn’t miss the lingering look of Bizarro Penny at the door that just closed. It all looked so natural and it made her long for that type of relationship, she and Leonard didn’t have anything like that, only alcohol and mediocre sex.

Penny’s eyes water and hates that Bizarro Penny catches her. But Bizarro Penny takes pity on her and asks "Want a drink?"

Penny couldn’t answer fast enough "Oh god yes!"

Once they both had glasses of wine and it was top shelf stuff even. They sat on the couch looking at each other, Bizarro Penny in Sheldon’s spot and Penny on the other end, neither said anything but Bizarro Penny looked happy to stay quiet as she sipped on her glass, however the silence was eating at Penny, she had so many questions, Penny and Sheldon? Sheldon touching her? Sheldon letting himself be touched? Married? Sex? And Penny tried to vocalize these questions in an eloquent and casual manner, but instead all that came out was a "So you and Sheldon huh" and Penny cringed at herself, "Sorry, I’m usually better at this small talk thing." and she takes a big gulp of wine.

Penny wished that she could be as composed as Bizarro Penny was right now, maybe she had to deal with this often? maybe this was normal for them?...and she was grasping at straws but she was still having a hard time with it all.

Bizarro Penny laughed and simply nodded and said "Sheldon and me" and offered nothing more than a teasing smile, it was weird looking at the other Penny, like a mirror, except the mirror looked brighter and happier. Penny was already in deep so she decided to go for broke "Can I ask why you didn’t choose Leonard?" Penny had to look down at her hands, she hated how sad her voice sounded, but she needed to know. Was it really that simple, if she hadn’t chosen Leonard her life would her life be better?

"Leonard? Sweetie, I don’t know any Leonards" And Penny looks up to see that Bizarro Penny looks confused and in turn Penny is surprised by that response, no Leonard? How?

Without intending to, she tells her story to Bizarro Penny, dropping out of college to pursue acting, Kurt, breaking up with Kurt, meeting the guys, how Leonard was Sheldon’s roommate in her own universe and how she and him had a complicated on/off relationship. How recently Penny had begun to wonder if that was all there was, she was not happy, but Amy and Bernadette acted like asking for your relationship to be better, to be more, was some sort of sin. It made Penny feel that they wanted her to be grateful to be with Leonard.

Once it started coming out of her mouth Penny couldn’t stop the truths. She is staying with Leonard because she’s scared of ending up alone. How Leonard seems to always disapprove of her, of her hobbies, her friends, of her even hugging Sheldon, or anything remotely male. How she had given up acting because Leonard told her ‘It’s time to grow up.’ and she now has a good paying job but it’s killing her. She still dreams of acting. She’s not happy.

How she drinks too much and too often. Lately it seems that in order to be able to sleep with her boyfriend she needs to be drunk, how on days when the urge to quit her job is high she makes sure to pickle her dreams in the strongest alcohol she can find. Penny is sobbing by the end and is not even sure her words can be understood but she needs to get everything out, she’s been feeling trapped for years now.

Penny doesn’t miss the irony of finally being able to say all of this knowing she might actually be trapped in this universe.

To her credit, Bizarro Penny doesn’t interrupt her, even once. Gives her tissues once it’s clear that the tears will start but she waits until Penny is done and her tears have stopped.

"Okay Sweetie, I know you might not want to hear this. But you deserve better, you know that right?" Penny suddenly feels her throat constrict and her eyes burn once again. The one truth she doesn’t want to face. "I know I'm not one to talk, but, you might need to stay single for a bit."

Bizarro Penny is not judging her for her bad and horrible choices, her face is open and honest and this breaks open the dam again. Penny feels the sobs escape out of her against her will, hug sobs rock her body and Bizarro Penny is suddenly at her side, holding her tightly and rubbing her back. ‘I knew that I gave great hugs.’

It takes a while for Penny to recover but Bizarro Penny is there with her and they’re sort of cuddling on the couch and watching a rerun of ‘Flavor of love’, the both of them have just finished their second glass of wine and Penny is feeling at peace.

Penny jumps a little when Bizarro Sheldon opens the door and struts right in carrying a large bag. Penny sits up correctly and stares as Bizarro Sheldon greets his Penny with a kiss, utterly normal and utterly shocking.

Bizarro Sheldon unpacks several devices and Penny is hoping to recognize something, but other than a wand-like thing that Bizarro Sheldon sets up to point at their closet door, she can't make heads or tails of any of the devices on the table. Even more devices soon join it and she can see Bizarro Sheldon is struggling with the screen on a device and Penny turns to Bizarro Penny to make a joke but the words die in her mouth. The way she’s looking at Bizarro Sheldon makes her feel guilty because she’s pretty certain that she’s never looked at anyone in this way, not Leonard, that’s for sure. Bizarro Penny catches her staring and just gives her a radiant smile.

Lucky girl.

Penny knows that in any universe Sheldon will be the right person to ask about anything and everything, so she takes the plunge.

"Sheldon? Do you know a Leonard?"

Bizarro Sheldon stops his tinkering to turn and look at her "I know of several Leonards but I’m guessing that’s not the nature of the question?" He turns to look at Bizarro Penny for confirmation and she gives him a thumbs up to which Sheldon smiles. A real smile, not his joker smile, not a smirk, and Penny’s heart breaks because her Sheldon doesn’t smile as much or as sincerely as of late.

"Do you have a last name to go with the name?"

"Yeah, it’s uh, Leonard Hofstadter." Penny can almost see the loading icon above his head as he searches through his memory. He then suddenly straightens up and looks at Bizarro Penny and there’s some communication happening there that she’s not getting and she really wishes she could. And when Bizarro Penny hugs her firmly, Penny knows it’s not going to be good.

"Leonard Hofstadter was a experimental physicist working for Caltech until 9 years ago," Bizarro Sheldon’s voice is steady but he’s looking at her in concern and it takes everything in Penny to not cry again at the look "However, he was found removing experimental military grade rocket fuel with the intention to provide a sample of it alongside with the formula to a North Korean spy" she’s not sure if she gasped or if it was a sob but the arm around her tightens "He’s currently serving a life sentence in a Federal prison." Penny can see him hesitate for a moment but continues. "He confessed and as such was spared the death penalty."

Penny can’t help it, she laughs and then cries, feeling hysterical. How fucked up this is, because she remembers this story, Sheldon had accidentally saved Leonard and destroyed their elevator in the process. She had laughed at the time but now she wasn’t laughing. In their universe, if Sheldon had not been at present, or not been at home for any reason, Leonard would be sharing the same fate as this universe's Leonard…or not, she remembers Sheldon describing the thing as about to explode and none of the other three guys reacting in time.

She knew that Leonard had issues and at first they were sort of cute if you squint really hard but as the years passed she found it harder and harder to squint and it seems that in this Universe Leonard’s luck ran out. And Penny can’t help but wonder what other things of that same nature has Leonard done and if he was only saved by blind luck or because of his tall roommate.

Penny knows that she has to let go of Leonard. Egg on her face for sticking with him for so long despite all the signs, despite admitting to not being happy with him but still staying. And yet, she’s scared, she doesn’t want to end up alone.

Not wanting to think about this subject anymore or Leonard for that matter she turns to the woman holding her together and in a watery voice asks "Did your Sheldon also mistook your vibrator for a chew toy?" A big pause and then Bizarro Penny loses her shit and starts laughing so hard that she’s worried she might fall off the couch and pull her down with her. Bizarro Sheldon turns quickly, away from the machine he was tinkering with to give her a glare, and it’s just so like her own Sheldon that she can’t help but laugh alongside Bizarro Penny.

After being all laughed out Bizarro Sheldon informed Penny that the readings were consistent with what he had initially theorized which basically meant having to wait, the energy readings were still pretty high and consistent and as such he was sure that in 2 to 3 hours a new portal would appear to take her back.

How was he so sure? She didn’t know, but it was Sheldon. A version of Sheldon but Sheldon nonetheless. And she trusted in her Wackadoodle so she would trust this version of him as well.

"Okay Moonpie, you order the pizza and I’ll make us a pitcher of virgin piña coladas while Alternate Penny goes to the bathroom and freshens herself up. Vamonos." Bizarro Penny takes charge now that they have a time limit for this unexpected visit and Penny gladly follows her plan, it feels like she’s cried for a whole week straight.

As she cleans her face, Penny wonders if the Pizza will taste differently. 'Maybe olives are sweet here?'

Penny was surprised that it was Giacomo's pizza and she was slightly disappointed that it tasted the same. But now that they were all relaxing and seeing Bizarro Penny almost on top of Bizarro Sheldon as they sat on the couch Penny decided to ask the question that had been present since she met them this morning. ‘We have time to kill and I want me some gossip.’

"So, how long have you been married?" Penny hopes that it sounded as casual as she wanted it to sound.

Bizarro Penny immediately brightens and answers without hesitation "13 years!" she can see Bizarro Sheldon give her that cute little smile and then look at Bizarro Penny. He looked at her in a way that makes her heart hurt with longing and then Penny’s brain restarts and she starts doing the math in her head and it doesn’t add up, it doesn’t make sense, maybe she had a little too much wine earlier, it bother her so much that she actually stands up from the couch and holds her hands in front of her as if warding off the information she just got.

"13 years?!" a nod from both of them "And you turned 30 this year right?" Penny says pointing to Bizarro Penny, another nod from the both of them and Penny is sputtering trying to make sense of things and she can see Bizarro Penny smirk, oh no, "But I’ve been ‘courting’ tall and clueless here since I was 10 so in my book we’re closer to 20 years" and Penny sort of deflates and falls back on the couch and can only gape in surprise and can only ask "How?".

She still remembers the lecture that her own Sheldon gave her about the multiverse and how in some universes the changes are so miniscule that it might just be about the color of the car you’re driving, but how in others, the changes are so big that you might not exist in it at all and Penny wonders where in the scale does this universe fall into.

Bizarro Penny explains that her parents divorced when she was 10, her father cheated constantly and always called it a small mistake. She wryly says that her Father’s favorite phrase was "Are you going to give up on all of our years together for one mistake?"and one day her mother had enough, she refused to be manipulated further and divorced her dad, then they all left Nebraska for Galveston Texas for a fresh start. And then Bizarro Penny met and befriended Missy which in turn meant she eventually went to the Cooper house to ‘do homework´ (the quotes are from Bizarro Sheldon) and she met Sheldon and the rest is history, they’ve been together ever since.

Penny was also able to learn a couple of things further, Bizarro Penny graduated college and is now a writer for TV and a cartoon, Bizarro Sheldon confidently says he’s going to win the Nobel Prize in one or two years depending on if they cancel their annual (more like every 3 months Bizarro Penny claims) Disney trip or not and that Bizarro Penny recently stopped taking anticonceptives and they’re actively trying for a baby. That one makes Penny’s eyes sting because they look so happy together that she starts seriously (not really) considering staying here with them.

And just as she thinks that, they hear a suction sound from the hallway and just like that there’s a shining portal in the doorway. Before Penny can process what this means Bizarro Sheldon is already pushing her to go because they don’t know when it will appear again if ever. But before she goes through she launches herself at Bizarro Penny and Bizarro Sheldon "Thank you" she tries to tell them but by this point she’s sure it came as a sob through her tears, they still both pat her on the back and say "There, there."

And then she’s running through the portal.

The feeling of free falling is back and just as she fears that she will fall forever she’s back in Leonard's room. Leonard is still sleeping, she can hear the cartoons on the other side of the apartment, ‘I’m back, I’m back!’ Penny does a little shimmy dance and runs as hard as she can to the living room where Sheldon is watching cartoons but he’s also meddling with a metallic box on the coffee table and he doesn’t know it yet but he just earned himself a glimpse on what Junior Rodeo means.

But for now she just wants to hug her smart but stupid Wackadoodle.

Notes: This was the first piece of fan fiction I ever wrote

#fanfiction #shenny #the big bang theory #penny tbbt #sheldon cooper #ao3

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