#wanting to be an artist but hes being strangled both by his family who think its a waste when hes so mathematically smart

[s0fter-sin]

metalhead ghost who’s been in moshpits since he was a kid and is now a veteran of the scene and the self appointed look out. he keeps an eye out for anyone falling or passing out, kicks the shit out of anyone crowd killing or putting their hands where they shouldn’t

and he’s been keeping an eye on the punk in the kilt since he saw him throw himself headfirst into the wall of death

he looks like the type to start shit - loud and aggressive as anyone else here but a punk doesn't end up at a metal show for no reason - but there's also something niggling at him that he's gonna end up getting himself hurt. and ghost can’t tell if he’s going to do it on purpose

if he does, ghost needs to know. he uses these places as an escape - the music, the violence, the community - always has and he knows all to well how easily an escape can curdle and become destructive. he’s seen too many people lost to the darker parts of the scene, almost lost himself to it; he doesn’t want it to happen to anyone else if he can help it

so when he sees the punk sweating his mohawk off, his movements becoming looser and uncoordinated, he has no issues with yanking him out of the pit and pulling him away from the crowd; pushing him up against the venue wall and ordering him to open his mouth

the glaze that falls over his eyes concerns him even as he obediently lets his mouth fall open. he was right; the punk’s severely dehydrated, tongue and gums far to pale and along with the look in his eyes, he half-thinks he’s about to drop

he reflexively tightens his hold on his jaw to keep him up and the punk shivers, a flush creeping up his neck. an almost confused arousal joins the haze in his eyes and ghost smirks beneath his mask

looks like metal shows aren’t the only thing the punk is new to

[yannaryartside]

Sydcarmy: the proof that even soulmates cannot be saved from fate's trials.

I will throw a narrative at you, more about my feelings on the themes shown regarding these two; bear with me. I want justice for Sydney Adamu. I also want Sydcarmy to work, but justice has to come first. All this comes from the line that Syd said to Marcus:

It is scary to rely on somebody.

Carmy has cornered Sydney

Now, all this sounds like shipper desires, and it is partially true, but I would like to add something about a point that concerns me a lot about Sydcarmy.

Since the beginning of the show, Sydney has put her fate in the culinary industry, her dreams, on the success of the enterprise, The Bear. But Carmy’s issues constantly sabotage this enterprise, and a part of Sydney believes it is her responsibility to make things work around her.

Now, let me be clear, she has boundaries and clear expectations of what can be done and has let Carmy know of everything he has done wrong. It is not like she is trying to be the hero; it is that everything Sydney had a chance to create, Carmy (or rather Carmy’s issues) has actively sabotaged to the point the restaurant may close next season.

Her financial security. Her opportunity to create her own recipes and discover her own artistic potential. Her reputation. Her capacity to support her last living parent. All of these things depended on Carmy’s project, and he has failed at every measure regarding her. He failed at helping her navigate the toxic environment of his family, constructing the restaurant and conceptualizing the menu, and he has been an awful leader when every detail can be the defining factor in their future. The fact that he is struggling doesn't take away his fault on the effects his actions may have on Sydney's career.

The restaurant closing may be damaging for Carmy but it could be fatal for Syd. She even said she may quit after this one is done.

So, on top of all that, she has developed feelings for him. This person she barely knows and has been emotionally distant from her 80% of the runtime of the show. She keeps hearing that all of Carmy’s problems could be solved by Claire and only her (I swear if the Faks, god forbid, try to make Sydney talk to Carmy about Claire and they tell her that “Claire is Carmy’s peace” you may see me manifest in the screen and strangle these clowns, they can make their cases to God).

Three strikes

This scene made me so sad for so many reasons. When Carmy says, “You look nice,” you can see the absence in his face, and then Syd removes the bow, almost as if she is embarrassed by trying to look nice (for him). For her, this man has rejected her as a business partner, as a chef (not being good enough to contribute to the menu), as a friend (not being there for her), and romantically (sexually).

So, it is not that I won’t rather skip jealous plotlines and whatnot. It is the fact that the show has used 3/4 of its (presume) runtime to tell Sydney all of this, to make her live all this rejection in all the areas she is the most concerned about, all her dreams, all her feelings.

It is very unhealthy to put your dreams on the shoulders of your loved one (not that this is her fault; Carmy invited her and even made a contract to solidify her dependence on his project). I also think there is a part of Sydney that believes that if she was good enough for Carmy to fall for her, all of these other pieces in her life would be better. She would collaborate intimately with her boyfriend and be a permanent part of the people she has learned to love and who love her.

But right now, she is putting all of her hopes in a person who is too mentally ill to know what even a healthy relationship is. Carmy is too traumatized, too codependent, with no guidance, and not even knowledgeable of his self-destructive tendencies.

This was doomed from the beginning. And both will inevitably lose themselves in the process. Carmy is trapped in ice but forces Sydney to walk on thin ice. Nobody can exist like that. No relationship or person can grow.

Again, none of this is Sydney’s fault, she has put her faith in a friend and a group of people she wanted to make a difference for. The fact that she has developed feelings for the most unreliable person in her life right now, is just a whim of fate. Talking about hardship for the strongest soldiers.

But there is hope.

If they start from a good place. If each one keeps their side of the street clean.

She deserves to leave this place and make a career on her own, blood, sweat, and tears. Let Carmy grow on his own, more so, she can finally understand that she could be her literal soulmate (that she is) and have the actual peace in him effect that he thought Claire gave him. And still, it would be enough.

That’s the lesson; that’s how the real world works. No cosmic arrangements, deep love, or emotional intelligence can help a person who refuses to request help.

A relationship is only created by two willing individuals.

[sunlight-moonrise]

The Price (Reid Imagine)

Summary: Reader is a technical analyst for the BAU. She did not expect to be smitten by the resident genius. 

A/N: This is my first time writing a fic as well as my first time writing smut. I’d like to thank @spencer-reid-in-a-pool​ for beta reading my work (you’re a gem and I’ll fight for you). Also a quick thank you to @imagining-in-the-margins​ and those in the discord for being so welcoming and helping me with this. The fic is inspired by @erin-bo-berin​ Sweet Cheeks. 

Category: Fluff and Smut

Content Warnings: Oral (female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, rough sex

Word Count: 6.0K

Masterlist

There are a lot of things I enjoy about this job. The salary is decent. My coworkers are pretty cool. I get to interact with a sexy genius from time to time- you know, the usual that comes with being employed by the government.

I started as a technical analyst for the BAU a few months prior, working alongside the one and only Penelope Garcia with assisting the rest of the team behind some computer screens. Coding and hacking is second nature to me so the job is not too difficult. It was either this or facing some years in jail because I couldn’t cover my tracks fast enough. Looking at mangled and mutilated bodies on a weekly basis is better than prison.

I get along rather well with the team. I pretty much call everyone by a term of endearment, much to Garcia’s delight. It was one of the things we had in common and helped us get along with one another much faster. I sometimes can get carried away with the innuendos, but Garcia welcomes everything I say with open arms.

I typically save my more sensual remarks for the doctor. I remember the good old days when he used to be so tongue-tied by my actions. Now my words barely surprises him.

A voice broke my concentration. “What got you thinking so hard, angel?” I turn towards the person, a smile already adorning my face. Lo and behold, Dr. Spencer Reid has graced me with his delectable presence.

“Would you believe me if I said that I was thinking of you Doc?” He had a small smile on his face. I could pretty much categorize all the smiles he uses because of how often I stare at him. I mean, it is a tragedy to not stare at such beauty. This particular smile means that he is content and comfortable.

“May I ask exactly what it was that you were thinking about?” he asked. 

“I cannot share the sordid details of my mind with you just yet darling. You’ll just have to use that beautiful mind of yours and conjure up something imaginative.”

He let out a small laugh and helped me carry the files I was juggling. My eyes immediately went to his hands. The things I’ll let those hands do to me. I bet only one is needed to perfectly wrap around my -- No bitch, focus. We got a case to present in five minutes. Right, right. Work now, daydream later.

We entered the conference room, where the rest of the team was already sitting at the round table, waiting for us. I gave out the files with Spencer’s help while Penelope started up the monitor.

“You guys are staying local but time is of the essence” she informed us. The TV lit up with four pictures of young boys. “We have a kidnapping case at Stafford County.”

“Were they kidnapped at the same time or place?” asked JJ as she skimmed over the report I handed out earlier.

“No” I said as I pointed to the two younger boys on the screen. “Jacob Rivers and David Hall were taken from their respective homes 48 hours ago” I then pointed to the two slightly older boys “Benjamin Harris was taken 12 hours ago at a park and Scott Turner was taken from the mall less than 6 hours ago.”

“Do these boys have anything in common?” Morgan asked out loud.

“Other than physical appearance and age group, these boys don’t have any similarities. They didn’t even go to the same school. As a matter of fact, David Hall was home-schooled.” replied Garcia.

“Garcia and I couldn’t find any common ground in the families’ educational, economic, or social backgrounds either” I added. “Once you guys take off, we’ll do a further dive into their personal histories.”

“The UnSub is already escalating, kidnapping from a private home and kidnapping from a crowded area within hours of each event is fairly drastic” Rossi stated.

“Maybe the Unsub is on a time frame? They could be feeling pressured and desperate” Emily questioned, trying to come up with some kind of initial profile.

Hotch already started standing up. “We’ll know more after analyzing the crime scenes and talking to local PD. Let’s head out.” The rest of the team followed, gathering their files and making an exit towards the door while Garcia headed for our office. Spencer lagged behind a bit and I already knew why. We have a little tradition of bidding farewell to one another before he takes off for a case.

I stood next to him, bumping my shoulder against his upper arm. “Don’t miss me too much while you are out there.”

“The more you remind me I have to leave, the more I want to stay here.” he grinned.

I snorted at his words, knowing that he was full of shit. There is nothing more that Reid loves than being out in the field. “Go be a hero and come back to me in one piece pretty boy.”

“Yes Ma’am.” he replied as he went to follow the team towards the elevator.

I swear that boy is immune to my teasing now. I miss seeing his face become flush, but I also enjoy the playful repartee we have now. I remember the first interaction I had with Spencer quite vividly. It truly was a comical moment.

 “Everyone this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). She will be working alongside Garcia.” Hotch stated as he introduced me to the team. I have already met him and Penelope prior to being presented to everyone else.

“Derek Morgan, pleasure to meet you.” Whoa. If tall, dark, and handsome was a person, Morgan would be fit for the role. He offered his hand, which I immediately took.

“The pleasure is all mine” I replied with a wide smile.

I directed my attention to a much older gentleman. “David Rossi” said the Italian man who reminded me of a mob boss.

“Charmed to meet you.” I shook his hand, surprised by the strength behind it. Those older bones are still working for him.

Next came the petite blonde, whose figure I was both envious and enamored with. “Jennifer Jareau, but everyone here calls me JJ for short.”

“In that case, please call me (Y/N/N).” I shook her hand, and became even more envious with how soft her skin was. She has got to tell me her secrets.

I focused on the brunette with shoulder-length hair. “Emily Prentiss”. My God, I think being attractive is a requirement for this team. She offered her hand to shake and her grip was firm. Note to self, forget about Rossi; don’t get on Emily’s bad side.

“Nice to meet you.”

I turned to the final individual and was blown away by his beauty. Yup, my previous thought has been confirmed. Only good-looking people are allowed pass these doors. His bone structure looked like it was sculpted by Roman artists. His body was lean and slender, reminding me of a runner’s physique. My eyes stared up to the softest hazel eyes I have ever seen.

“Dr. Spencer Reid.” he introduced. I offered my hand immediately, wanting to feel his skin against mine.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), but you already knew that,” I said softly, my hand still out. He just stared at it as if it was an anomaly.

“Uh-the amount of pathogens passed through a handshake is astounding. A high five transmit half the number. But even then, a kiss is much more safe.” he quickly stated as he nodded his head. I almost didn’t catch any of it. Partially because of the rapid speech, partially because I was staring at his lips.

“Hmm, that’s news to me. However, if a kiss is what you want…” I lowered my hand and took a step closer to him. My eyes slowly moved from his eyes to his mouth and then back up. He took a slight step back.

“N-N-No, that’s not—I-I mean that —uhh...” His face was flushed and his tongue shot out to run against his lips. His eyes quickly darted across the room, seeking some help. I felt a sense of pride knowing I made this man flustered.

“I’m just teasing Doc.” If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was frightened by me. Maybe he was, but the blush on his face and the way he kept staring gave me further information on him.

“Don’t mind Reid,” Morgan said, coming to the young man’s rescue. “He has a thing with germs.” He finished, a smirk plastered on his face. Well, I hope he soon develops a thing for something else. Or rather someone else.  

I was just about to make another sly comment when Hotch interrupted. “Back to the case at hand.” He gave us all a pointed look. Right, I am at my first day at work. I’ll focus on hot doctors with hotter smiles and the hottest face at my own time.

“Yes sir,” Garcia stated, as she started pushing buttons on a remote. The TV turned on and pictures of three different women showed up on the screen. They all looked to be strangled to death. “You guys are needed in Toledo, Ohio.” Garcia goes on to describe the case while the team starts the early stages of conducting a profile.

“Wheels up in 30.” Hotch says and the everyone disperses. Garcia walked up to me and handed me some documents from the case file.

“C’mon cupcake, we gotta do some preliminary work to get the case going much faster.” I followed her to what she called the “bat cave”. I scanned the small room and immediately fell in love. Computers and monitors littered almost every inch of the place. I saw a lot of colorful knickknacks displayed on one side of the desk, knowing already who they belonged to. The area was endearing and had a cozy feel to it.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding. This place is a dream come true.” I am sure she can hear the awe in my voice.

“I know, right. Wait until you actually use it girlie, the framework on these things is out of this world.” I sat myself on a chair nearby and rolled in front of a screen.

“Alrighty. You can do some background checks on these girls while I gather more information from the police reports. Let me know if there are any commonalities among any of them. We’ll relay that info with the team.”

“Gotcha babe, I’ll have the information ready ASAP.” I responded, already typing away on the computer. I’m already starting to like it here.

*Later that day*

Garcia and I haven’t found much in common between the victims of the crimes, much to our dismay. I was left in the office to continue searching for important information on the girls while she went to fax some data to the precinct when the phone started to ring.

I quickly answered and put it on speaker. “(Y/L/N) at your humble service. How may I serve you?”

“Oh-uh is Garcia around” replied a high-pitched voice, which I immediately recognized as Reid. I don’t know whether or not I should be insulted that he wanted Penelope or pleased that I probably still have him flustered.

“She’s a bit pre-occupied at the moment. But rest assured I can find whatever you need Doc. Especially if you ask nicely.”

“Uh-I need you to pull up information on the mothers. We think they were all in the same sorority, however not necessarily at the same time. We need a list of all the members of the sorority from the time the mothers joined with a 3-year pre- and post-graduation.”

“No problemo sweetness. Anything else I can do for you? I have a lot of other services that can be helpful.” I stated, a teasing tone in my voice as I already set up my search.

“No-no, that’s all. Um thanks.” I can already picture the blush coating his cheeks as he stammered his response.

“Alright love, call me back if you need anything. Or if you change your mind.” I hung up the phone and started organizing the list in front of me.

 And from then on, I have enjoyed pretty much all the moments I had with the BAU. It took some time, but Spencer now has accepted and even returned my little flirtations.  We often get compared to Garcia and Morgan. But with a lot more sexual tension, at least on my end. I have to remind myself from time to time to calm down before I combust in the middle of a conference room or the bullpen. C'est la vie.

I made my way to the cavern of all things amazing and settled in front of my computers. Pen looked at me with a knowing expression on her face. “You’re gloomy.”

I pouted as I put my earpiece on. “I am not gloomy, I am horny,” I rebuked.

“How long has it been since you got some?”

“I’m not sure but it feels like I have not gotten any since the Stone Age,” I groaned out.

“I don’t know why you don’t just tell him how you feel,” she pointed her pink glittery pen in my direction, “I bet he would fuck you right here if you let him.”

And there goes my thought process, as always, overtaken by Spencer Reid. “Babe, please. This is not helping my situation.”

“Just telling you how it is.”

●●●

We have been sitting in front of these screens for hours. The team has made some progress but they’re missing an important piece to fit the puzzle. Garcia has been looking into the background of the neighbors when I heard a small stomach grumble coming from her direction. I let out a laugh as she huffed out “I am going to grab a snack from the breakroom, you want anything boo?”

“If it ain’t alcohol or chocolate, I don’t want it.”

“Noted,” she said as she left the room. I really hope she finds a couple of cupcakes or something.

I continued trying to get information on these missing kids when my headpiece played the Doctor Who theme song, informing me that Einstein was calling in. “Goddess of knowledge and wisdom at your disposal.”

“I didn’t know I had Athena at my fingertips.” How is it possible that nine words have short-circuited my brain just now? Is it the voice or the way he basically called me a Greek Deity? Probably both.

Of course I slyly responded, “Oh my Hephaestus, you have all of me at your fingertips.” I heard a chuckle and I immediately knew it belonged to Morgan. A slight blush crept onto my cheeks when I heard a random voice asking why Spencer called his girlfriend in the middle of a case.

“I should have mentioned that you were on speakerphone.”

“Naughty boy, you know I charge extra for groups.” Now this was followed by some choked out noises and a bunch of giggles. I could only assume the whole precinct was amused by my antics at this point. 

“Can you ever forgive me?”

“I can, for a price.”

“A price?”

“Yes, a price that I would inform you of in private. Now the reason for your call…” I drew out. Thank goodness Garcia wasn’t here. I don’t need her looking at me as if I am a phone sex operator.

“I need you to check foster children between the ages of four and eight within a 25-mile radius. We are looking for a homosexual couple that were looking to adopt but were rejected. The names should be on multiple applications among different sites. Let me know what you find.”

“I’ll have that information at the palm of your hands soon” Meanwhile, I am over here wishing that I was at the palm of his hands.

“Thank you, my Goddess” I can’t help but smile when he says things like this. Since when were the roles reversed in our friendship?

“Anything for a gorgeous worshipper. TTYL.”

Garcia chose that moment to walk back in while I had this silly grin on my face. She stared at me and I already knew what she was going to say.

“If you don’t have a piece of chocolate or a cocktail on you, I am not talking.”

All she did was laugh at me.

●●●

The team was able to find all four boys safely. The UnSubs were a male couple who wanted to adopt but kept facing discrimination against the agencies. It is a shame that they felt they had to resort to kidnapping in order to have a family.

Now Garcia and I are scanning the notes the team faxed to us earlier today. They informed us that they would be back here in half an hour or so.

“Shoot, I didn’t think it would take this long to scan these damn files.” Garcia murmured.  I looked over at her and saw a small stack of documents that still needed to be put into the system.

I walked over and grabbed the pile from her. “Go, I’ll take care of it from here doll.”

“Are you sure? I feel bad. You did your portion of the work already.”

“Don’t you have to be at the rehearsal in 20 minutes? How is the theater going to operate without their main lead?” I placed the documents on my side of the desk and moved to gather Garcia’s belongings.  I picked up her purse and jacket before handing it to her, quickly pushing her towards the door. “I got this, think of it as an IOU.”

“Yes, yes, yes, I owe you big. Thank you sugar, see you tomorrow.” Garcia hurriedly exited the door and headed towards the elevator. 

I looked towards the papers, a low groan leaving my mouth. The faster I go through this, the better.

●●●

I was just finished implementing all the documents into the computer when I heard a knock at the door. I turned around and saw Spencer’s head peeking through. “Evening handsome, to what do I owe this visit?”

“Garcia passed by me a while ago and informed me you were in here finishing some extra work. I wanted to check on you; see if you needed my help.”

“Thanks Doc, but you’re a few minutes too late. I already finished scanning the files. Besides, you’re not the best with technology, much less these computers.”

“Maybe not. But I am a fast learner and I pay close attention to detail.” Either my ears were playing a trick on me or Spencer’s voice lowered an octave or two.

I remembered what Penelope said earlier today and decided to just go for it. “I could collect on that price from earlier.” I leaned against the desk and stared into his eyes. C’mon Doc, pick up the hint. Rather, pick me up instead.

“Well I was thinking that I can get you dinner.” he said, a hint of excitement in his voice.

That’s great, but not what I had in mind. “I was hoping for something else” I looked into his eyes, then slowly trailed my eyes downwards. Kiss me. Kiss me. Touch me. Lick me. Fuck me. Kiss me.

Unfortunately, Spencer is not a mind reader. He lowered his head and looked slightly dejected. “Oh well umm—would you prefer to go to a theater?” Oh Doc, you sexy, naïve, intelligent, innocent man. I guess if you want something you have to do it yourself.

I sat on the edge of my desk. “Come here Spencer.”

His head perked up, slightly intrigued since I rarely call him by his name. He walked to where I was sitting but there was still space between us.

“Closer, I don’t bite.” Unless you want me to.

He moved closer to me and I was able to rest my hands on his shoulders. Thankfully the height of the table let us be more at level with one another.

I made sure to look into his eyes as I said “I am going to kiss you. If that isn’t something you want, tell me now.”

He was speechless. His mouth was moving but no sounds came out. If the circumstances were different I would have appreciated seeing his rattled expression once more. I waited a few seconds, but he still has yet to say anything.

“Spen-mmh” before I knew it, his mouth was upon mine. He gently cradled my face as his lips moved against my own. My eyes closed as I felt nothing but bliss. As cliché as it sounds, I was in paradise because of this kiss alone.

His tongue peeked and swiped against my lower lip, trying to have a taste of me. I was more than happy to grant him entrance, a moan leaving my body as his tongue touched mine.

All parts of me were trying to feel him. I had one hand in his hair while the other grabbed onto the back of his shirt. My chest was pressed against his while my legs lazily wrapped around his midsection. His scent was intoxicating to me. It was a coffee-like smell as if he just walked out of a café. He tasted so sweet, all I wanted to do was keep his mouth on mine. But my body needed air so I slowly pulled away.

He tried to catch his breath as his forehead rested against mine. “So you don’t want dinner?”

“Doc the only thing I am hungry for right now is you. We’ll get food afterward, alright?” Spencer nodded his head while licking his lips. My eyes hungrily followed the action and I just had to get another taste. I pulled him towards me, his hands once again holding onto my face. He was much more dominant with this kiss, and I was more than willing to give him the control. His hands then trailed down to my hips and pulled me closer to his pelvis. I jerked against him and was rewarded with a groan.

He squeezed me tighter as his lips broke away from mine once more. He placed a peck on my lips, then my cheek before trailing down my neck. I felt my body heat up as I released a small moan. Fucking hell, he is going to be the death of me and we barely did anything.

Spencer started to lightly nibble on my neck when I pulled him back by his hair. “It is summer and I am not wearing a turtleneck in 80° weather. If you’re gonna give me some hickeys, they better be on my chest.” He murmured something that I couldn’t quite comprehend before undoing the buttons of my blouse.

Hell, I am not the only one who is gonna be undressed so I started unbuttoning his dress shirt as well. It was a race to see who would get the other’s shirt off first. Of course I lost because my hands wouldn’t stop shaking. But when his warm lips kissed their way towards the middle of my cleavage, I felt like a fucking champion.

I tried my best to shimmy out of the sleeves of my blouse while Spencer attempted to take my bra off, his lips still leaving a love mark against my chest. Once we got rid of the shirt and the bra, his mouth immediately enveloped one of my nipples.

“Fuck” I yelped loudly, “a little warning next time Doc.”

“Sorry” he muttered as he continued to suck on my breast while palming the other between his dexterous fingers. That had to be the most insincere apology I have ever heard from him. An idea came across my head. I slowly removed his shirt, watching it pool on the floor. I then raked the nails of one hand across his chest while the other pulled against his hair. Hard. He retaliated by lightly biting my nipple. Fuck, the plan backfired. Abort mission, abort the damn mission.

Spencer let out a small chuckle as he pulled away from my breast, an audible pop leaving his mouth. My hands went to his face and I moved him up to look at me. His eyes were dilated and his mouth was swollen. His face was flush and he was taking deeper breaths than usual. He looked so beautiful like this.

He had a dorky smile on his face and I realized that I said the words out loud. I felt my face heat up fast and he swiftly commented “I’d never thought I’d see you be so thrown off because of me.”

He rested his hands against either side of the desk and just looked at me. “Shut up and kiss me.” I hissed, already missing the warmth of his skin against mine.

“Where do you want me to kiss you?” he asked. I was about to reply when he interrupted “Do you want me to kiss you on your lips? Or maybe you want me back on those beautiful breasts of yours?”

Have mercy on me, I never believed Spencer Reid could make me so wet just with his words. Sure, I thought of it, but I didn’t believe it would happen to me.

“Maybe you want me to go lower. Should I place my lips on that pussy of yours?” Oh my fuck, I never want this moment to end. I nodded my head so quickly, I could have sworn I given myself whiplash.

“I want to hear you say it,” he breathed out.

“Yes, yes, please. I want you to eat my pussy. Please.” I begged. Dignity be damned.

“That’s my good girl” How is it possible that he went from the dorky adorable doctor to this assertive, stimulating specimen in a matter of minutes? I didn’t think he had a sensual bone in his body. But I am glad to be proven wrong.

Spencer lowered himself to his knees while I clumsily attempted to rid myself of my skirt and panties. I lifted my lower body up as he pulled the clothing off of me. Penelope would have a field day if she knew that I was sitting butt naked on the desk with Spencer Reid between my legs. Hell, I am having a field day knowing this.

Spencer, being the teasing bastard that he has been for the past few minutes, started kissing my legs first. “That’s not where I said I wanted you to kiss me” I huffed out.

“Hush” was all he said as he continued the slow trail up, making sure to alternate between each leg. I was already breathing as if I have ran a marathon, my patience was waning at this point. Finally, he made his way to where I needed him most. He put his hands on my thighs and pushed them further apart.

My hands landed on top of his head, playing with the curls. “You’re comfortable down there Doc?” I snickered, loving the sight of his head between my legs. All he did was nip my inner thigh harshly. I shrieked at the action. I’m starting to think this man has a tiny biting fetish.

I wasn’t ready for when his tongue parted my folds. I squeaked as he teasingly lapped the arousal that had formed the second he walked into the room. I tried rolling my hips but his hands made me stay put on the desk. I never knew he could hold me down like this. I couldn’t even be mad because the pleasure he was giving me was incredible.

Spencer continued to tease me, his tongue never going where I needed it most. He made sure to explore as much as possible as leisurely as possible. “Spencer, please” I cried out. He let out a small hum, the vibration causing a shiver to rack my body.  

His tongue finally entered me, much to my delight. No amount of imagination could have ever prepared me for the things this appendage can do to me. He continued this soft, flat movement that was driving me crazy. My hands tightened in his hair, hoping he would go a bit faster.

“You taste so good princess, I don’t want this to end.”

“That’s my Queen to you” I jested. He didn’t like that since he responded with a resounding smack against my outer thigh. Ouch, note to self, Spencer doesn’t like being teased during sexy times. Hmm. On second thought, continue to tease Spencer during sexy times.

I felt his finger probe my entrance, moving up and down before pushing inside of me. I let out a distressing whine as he started slowly moving his finger in and out of me, curling as he did so. His mouth was on my clit, sucking and kissing it as if he has done so all his life.

My body started heating up and trembling. I tried, and failed, to roll my hips against the movement. “Spe-Spencer” I wailed. He didn’t relent.

Spencer entered a second finger into me as his tongue gave small, flickering motions against my bundle of nerves. I had to move one hand to my mouth to prevent any loud noises from being heard outside the room. Shit, did we even lock the door?

That thought immediately left my mind as my core started to tighten. Spencer must have known that I was getting close to my orgasm because he moved his fingers more diligently within me. I felt his fingers curl as they pulled out, I felt his tongue lick thoroughly against my pearl, I felt my ecstasy rising within me. It took one more deep press of his fingers and a harsh suck for me to come all over his face. I bit down on my fingers as I moaned out loud.

“That was so much better then what I imagined” I panted out, the words barely coming out comprehensible. I had a giant smile decorating my face.

He pulled his face up, a smug grin gracing his face. “Is this what you were thinking about earlier this morning?” he taunted. I couldn’t even give him a smartass remark because I was too busy trying to come back to reality. He pulled his fingers out and held them in front of my face.

“Open” he ordered. I complied and he pushed his fingers inside of my mouth. “You look so pretty when you follow instructions well. See how good you taste.”

I pulled my head back, taking his fingers out of my mouth. “I bet I taste a lot better on that tongue of yours.”

He tangled his hand in my hair and pulled me to a kiss. I immediately opened and welcomed his tongue against mine. I was right, I do taste better on him. I let out a deep moan and pulled away far enough to gently bite down on his lower lip.

He looks at me, that devilish tongue of his running against his lower lip before entering my mouth once again. With his lips still on mine, he picked me up and move to sit on my desk chair. It was nothing short of a miracle that we managed not to fall on the floor.

I placed my hand on top of his erection through his slacks and he drew a quick intake of breath. I started palming him as I grinded myself against him. I pulled back as I whispered, “I need you, Spencer”.

“Y’know this is the most I have heard you call me by my name in any given moment we have been together.” He unzipped his slacks and pushed down his pants and boxers as much as he could with me on top of him.

I looked down, finally being able to see his cock. Is it possible to get aroused further through sight alone? Because I think I creamed myself again. God, I wish I could show him my oral skills, but we’ll save that for another time.

“Would you rather I call you by something else?” I asked, attempting to move my lower body so that it can align with his cock. I say attempt because Spencer currently had his hands on my thighs again.

“No, I like the way my name sounds as you moan it out. Don’t hide your pleasure from me this time.” He maneuvered my legs to rest upon the armrest on either side of the chair, leaving my pussy wide open for him.

I gave him an incredulous look. “Are you forgetting that we are at work?”

He started rubbing the tip of his cock against my lower lips. “I didn’t forget. I just don’t fucking care.” And with that, he slowly penetrated me.

We both groaned at the intrusion. He gradually started entering me as I adjusted to his size. Inch by inch, he gave me all of him until he was buried to the hilt.  I took a moment to savor the feel of Spencer inside of me before I started grinding against him. He took that as a hint to begin thrusting.

He started slow, taking his time and having us enjoy the feeling of one another. “Your cunt is so fucking tight” he hissed into my ear and I gave out a loud whine.

“That’s because you have such a big cock, Doc” I managed to moan out. He smacked my ass before grabbing each cheek tightly in his hands. “I want you to call me by my name” he grits out.

“Spencer, baby please give it to me. I’ve been waiting for this Spencer, I’ve been waiting for you.” He started kissing my neck once more and my eyes started to closed. I wanted to focus on the pleasure he was giving me.

He tightly grabbed me, moving my hips along with his thrusts. I was close to being pushed over the edge once more. The only sounds occupying the room were our moans and skin smacking against skin as we chased our pleasure.

“Open your mouth” I heard him say. I opened my eyes to see his thumb positioned over my lips. I let out a small whimper as I sucked his digit earnestly. I made sure to coat his finger with a lot of saliva, knowing exactly what he was going to do with it when it was out of my mouth.

He pulled his thumb out and immediately placed it on my clit. I gave out an embarrassingly loud sob as he started moving his finger against me in soft circular motions. I placed my lips on his neck, trying to muffle the noise coming out of my throat.

Spencer quickly grabbed my hair and pulled my head away as he started to slow down. “How many times do I have to tell you that I want to hear your pleasure?” In that moment, Spencer controlled my mind, body, and soul.

“I’m sorry Spencer. I’ll be your good girl, please don’t stop.” He returned back to the previous pace and thrust into me even harder. We both started chasing our orgasms, not being able to hold back any longer. He was pounding into me relentlessly and I was loving it. I am sure that I am going to be sore after this.

“Come for me (Y/N), I want to feel this tight cunt squeeze around my cock.” Say less, I am already ahead of you. My eyes were rolling to the back of my head and I felt my pussy pulsate around him. With one last motion against his thumb, I cried out his name multiple times as I climaxed.  

Spencer whispered my name as he continued pushing into me, chasing his own orgasm. He thrust a couple more times before quickly pulling out, spilling himself over my stomach. I panted as I laid my head against the crook of his neck. His fingers thrummed a slow rhythm upon my lower back.

“So about that dinner... do you want to get Indian food?”

“Yeah, I can go for some samosas right now.”

[boom-fanfic-a-latta]

MY VERSION OF THE LEGION OF STATIONERY

Here we freaking go! FINALLY! It took me way too long to finish all the refs but I’m finally ready to share this!

Jean-Pierre Côme Raoul Aimé Yves Oscar Nicolas Siméon de Couleur, 12ème du nom (or Jean-Pierre Crayons de Couleur for short)

* Very much French but not quite stereotypical so

* The one most likely to actually swear

* Usually the serious one

* But if you get him mad he will not hesitate to shoot you

* Has a prosthetic right arm that can switch between a notepad and a canon

* The sarcastic one

* Very passionate Artist

* Do not rush his work

* DO NOT CALL HIM A TWINK UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE

* The most serious about the whole “top generals” thing, has a military flair to him

* Missile backpack w/ large pencil missiles

* Missiles also work as pencils

* The easily annoyed guy

Sylvio Phineas Rubber Band

* Literal Drama Queen

* He’s a guy yes but he’s still a queen

* Flamboyant as heck

* Will not hesitate to burst into singing show tunes

* Top hat TOP HAT

* His hair is rubber I’m not even joking

* Will not hesitate to put himself in the spotlight no matter the means he uses to do so

* Think like, that one undertale character I think? Mettaton? IDK much about undertale but I think that’s a good comparison

* Another good comparison would be Ghiriham from Zelda Skyward Sword

* He has a whip and he will use it

* His coat getting ripped off is equivalent to the single band being exposed

* Have I mentioned he’s flamboyant?

* So freaking campy

* Very much haughty

Daniel “DJ Devil” Hole Punch

* HEY TURN UP THE MUSIC

* Literally always has music playing in his headphones

* Vocaloid fan

* He’s such a Vocaloid fan I kid you not

* Shoes work as the punch part so I guess he punches with his feet

* Eyes are super sensitive to light so he constantly wears his cool sunglasses visor thingy

* Breakdances as well as disco

* Really musically and rhythmically talented

* and yet does horribly at rhythm games

* And YET can reliably beat The Ultimate Medley

* DJ Devil is his stage name

* He had a stroke once and “The Bad Disco Exercise” was the result

* Fuzzy (the Yoshi’s Island kind) Addict/Dealer, it’s very likely he’ll be high at least a quarter of the time

Donovan “Don” Marco Tapescrew

* Don’t call him “Mugsy” or he will legitimately strangle you with his tie

* Other than that he’s the most reliable and dependable member of the legion

* Team Mom, er, Dad

* Has a convertible but also a motorcycle

* May or may not actually be a mafia don, no one knows

* Don’t mess with the family

* The sane one

* His heels have wheels

* The one most likely to sit down and chat with someone over a cup of coffee and just have a chill time

* Seriously though don’t mess with the family—

* He can be shocked, but after initial shock, he’ll usually calm down

* He’s pretty unfazed by a lot of things

* Also yes he has a pompadour what do you think I am crazy—

Hasami Souta

* Literally you could set the place on fire and he would go get popcorn and watch it burn

* An instigator of chaos

* He knows JUST how to get to a person, or spark an argument

* But also how to deflect said tension onto others

* So he never gets hurt by it

* Cocky as heck but for good reason

* Like, seriously, he is SCISSORS in a world of PAPER he has good reason

* Dual wielding blades, duh

* Will escalate the situation and then sit back to watch the carnage

* The most smug person you will ever meet, except for maybe Hannah (who takes after him a lot)

* The most infuriating person to talk to

* He will manage to get you worked up no matter what

* Ridiculously skilled in combat, both martial and swordplay

Hannah “Handaconda” Hasami

* She a smug snek

* She will terrify you

* Mainly because she tries and is very good at it

* Super sneaky like she’s something out of a horror movie

* Basically Souta’s snek daughter

* And I will stand by this statement

* Roshamboa

* She does not fight fair

* Literally terrifying, she may not look it but she is

* Oh yeah and she has hypnotic abilities because I’m self-indulgent as chaos

* Did I mention she’s freaking terrifying?

* You are below her and she will make you know it

* Your best bet is to run, you do not want to be caught by her

Shackles the Dog

[No art cause dogs are hard to draw]

* He’s literally a puppy what do you expect

* He doggo

* Super hyper

* Has a tendacy to ignore orders and try to play with Olly

* His bark is a lot better than his bite I can tell you that

[thenightlymartini]

Asking again because your headcanons are *chefs kiss* and brighten up my day. So because I've been on a bodyguard trope kick lately, how would that trope play out with your ships?

Awww, thank you! Do you mind if I call you my chef's kiss anon?

Also, you single-handedly opened my third eye to this trope! Like how can one trope somehow fit all of my fav pairs so well?! And I love every single one of them so much that I want to write stories for them!?

Like I would sell my soul to anyone who does artwork about this trope with these pairs with no regrets.

Headcannon #64 - Bodyguard Trope (side note, these are in Human AU)

Kimchiburger: I've seen this go around quite a bit, but America as popstar!SK's bodyguard is so what I'm down for. I've done a few asks and headcannons surrounding that scenario, and I practically fell in love with it.

Like SK getting secretly flirty with his bodyguard? Totally scandalous? But so great! America getting flustered cause he's trying to do his job without feelings getting mixed up (too late on that front). Those two trying to keep a relationship on the down low when it could ruin both of their careers if it got out? There's the angst and danger I'm looking for!

Like SK could be a solo artist or in a group (maybe a co-ed group consisting of Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Philippines, and Japan and China are other solo artists in the same company) and his brother, NK, is the manager? Which just adds even more complexity and danger to their hidden romance?

RusNK: Like, NK is just a rich CEO's son and Russia is the hired bodyguard to deal with the heir to a conglomerate empire. Little did Russia know is that NK isn't going to make it easy. Like the Korean will do everything and go out of his way to make it difficult for Russia to keep him even in eyesight, much less do his job. Why so? Cause NK thinks he can handle himself and is dealing with family issues. Like his father likes his brother more and wants his younger twin to be the heir instead of him, despite getting top marks and trying to prove otherwise? And it makes it worse cause SK wants nothing to do with the company and wants to go his own way, thus causing more strain on NK and his relationship. Having a bodyguard is almost like a slap in the face from his father, because he thinks his father is just making sure the second option is available if the first isn't convinced in time. Add in a little more angst where he is also trying to come to terms with his attraction to men which also ties into the familial drama, and he is now supposed to let some hot Russian be his guard and not catch feelings, whether purely physical or something more?

Add in Russia (where he comes from a country where being openly gay is not socially acceptable) and his coming to terms with his sexuality with a good looking, college-aged Korean that he isn't supposed to feel that way about, both professionally and socially? Along with the slow burn of man this kid is so damn annoying and I just want to strangle him to I feel bad for the kid to I kind of admire this guy's spunk to maybe I like this guy in more than an admiring way to oh god, I think I like him what do I do.

Commieburger: I like the idea of the both of them being bodyguards to popstar!SK. They hate each other and have very different ways of doing their job. Like SK could have gotten a death threat due to a minor slip or some rabid fan trying to hug him while he's performing on stage and they would have very different ways of how to deal with the situation. America would be the calmer of the two and be forceful, but respectful to the fan, and then comfort SK when he gets depressed about it. NK would have flattened the fan with a punch if he was legally allowed to (so he just settles with being a lot more aggressive) and tell SK to buck up cause "you're not going to win everybody over, so don't let it get to you", but his actions would be kinder than his words towards SK cause of family relations (which America wouldn't find out until he accidentally overheard an argument between the two).

The catalyst to these two seeing each other differently is when both of their pride and stubbornness towards each other costs them a fan slipping through and grabbing SK, causing him to twist his ankle on stage and being forced to take a medical leave for a few weeks. Both of them were devastated that due to their bickering SK had to suffer. Like he's America's best friend, how could America let this happen? And he's NK's younger twin, how could he, as the older brother and bodyguard, fail to protect him? Like SK would never blame the two of them, and waves it off as "shit happens", but both of them take it rather personal. They never start pointing fingers and blaming the other, despite that being a tempting option, because both realize they themselves could have been the bigger man and prevent what happened, but they didn't. That fact alone is what makes them realize that the other isn't necessarily as bad as they thought, since, for once, they both were on the same page.

This then becomes slow burn of them gradually warming up to each other to then having the beginning bud of romance once they realize with quite the surprise that they are actually compatible together. Like their both competitive, but it works out in oddly positive ways? Like they challenge each other to who can bench press more or who can be more discreet about dealing with unwanted attention directed at SK. Or that they both have green thumbs after finding out they both were taking care of SK's plants when he wasn't looking, and they give each other tips on plants they themselves own. Or how their seemingly clashing personalities are actually good balances? Like America is super spontaneous and charismatic, and NK is more calculating and calm, but they figure out that by balancing both personalities they both get a lot done. Add in SK (who is oblivious when it comes to his romantic life, but never his brother's), slyly shipping them and prodding them together, despite the controversy and conflict of interest that could arise if this were found out by superiors. Like SK is so sly that both America and NK think they get together under their own terms when really SK may have had a hand or two in some key points.

[unfunny-quips]

Of all the many people in the world who wanted him dead, All For One had to admit that he was rather surprised by the person who actually managed to both track him down and get past his impressive security.

He knew someone was there the moment he opened the door. Could sense the presence of another person in his high rise apartment that shouldn’t have been there. A steady heartbeat, unflinching and unafraid. Brave or stupid, he wasn’t sure, but they’d be dead either way once he wrung out of them how they’d gotten in and which of his security detail he was going to have to kill.

He shrugged off his coat - it was new and fit him well, he’d rather not get blood on it - and hung it up carefully by the front door. Slipped off his shoes and rolled his shoulders with a sigh. Though that particular apartment was not homey per se, there was something oddly comforting about returning to a living space that was entirely his own at the end of a day. Though centuries ago, a childhood fraught with uncertain living situations and inconsistent care had left marks on him that time and power had not fully been able to shake.

All the more reason to make the intruder’s death slow, as insignificant a threat as they were, they’d at least been able to find him. Which meant finding a new luxury apartment, perhaps even in a new city. And he despised moving.

He kept his steps light on the polished wooden floors, stopping by the oversized and little used kitchen for some water before he meandered his way towards the living room where his uninvited guest waited. Perhaps he’d throw them out the window, eighty stories up would make for a rather long time to think about their impending death. Or maybe tear them apart inch by literal inch so they had to languish in their suffering.

Setting his glass down on the kitchen counter he stepped into his spacious living room and paused at what sat waiting for him.

All For One, Emperor of Darkness, King of all Villains, Boogeyman of the Boogeymen found himself...uncertain.

There was a woman seated on his couch. Casually dressed and relaxed looking, knees drawn up and tucked beneath her, an open book bag on the floor beside where she sat and a law textbook in hand. She finished highlighting a section carefully before capping the marker and turning her gaze on to him, letting him see her face properly for the first time.

Green eyes were the first thing that struck him. Clear and bright and intelligent, set in a kind face. Her hair, also green, was swept down a little past her shoulders with half of it pulled up in a fluttering little bun at the back of her head. He was struck by two thoughts as he took her in.

The woman sitting before him was entirely unintimidated by him.

And...

She looked a bit like Nana Shimura. 

The woman tilted her head, seeming to take him in while he’d been observing her. She shifted on the couch a little, shutting the book softly and setting it down. Her heartbeat was steady, her gaze unflinching but not combative. Purpose seemed to flow off of her, as resolute as her steady gaze. He understood that she knew exactly who he was and felt no need for fear nor sense of unease in his presence. A strong will, he knew the aura he carried around him well and it was someone interesting indeed who could face the overwhelming killing intent that drifted off him in waves without so much as a flicker of uncertainty. 

“Hello.” She said with a soft, clear voice. The kind of ease one has with an acquaintance or a friend not often seen, not a stranger whose house she had invaded. “I’m sorry to have broken in like this.” She started, with the appropriate level of apology one would save for knocking over a stranger’s drink. “But I was hoping you’d be able to help me.”

He should be irritated, he should just kill her and get on with his evening, he should make her an example for anyone else stupid enough to think they could waltz into his home without consquence. 

He wasn’t irritated though. And he didn’t kill her. Instead he found himself oddly...charmed by the stranger that sat before him.

“Indeed?” He asked blandly, slipping his hands into his pockets before leaning against the wall casually. “I’m afraid you’re rather lost if you think this is a police station.”

The woman broke into a small smile, a soft huffing chuckle leaving her. Shaking her head she dropped her gaze for a moment and he saw the faint pink of a blush on her cheeks. He was, he realized. He was absolutely charmed by her. And it wasn’t even her Quirk doing it, hers had the feel of a gravitational telekinesis, not a mood altering ability. The woman that sat before him, who had broken into his home and casually asked him for help as if searching for her stray cat, was oddly endearing. And it had been a long time since he had found himself endeared by anything, let alone a person.

“Sorry,” She said, shifting on the couch. “I’ve probably done this all wrong. But I wanted you to know I was serious.” Green eyes met his own and he was struck again by the intelligence he saw in her gaze. “I don’t know why I thought this would be the way to do it but…” She gave a shrug, then slowly got to her feet. Careful not to topple her bag or trip as she untangled from her comfortable position on the couch. “Here, let me try again.” 

He watched as she gave a short, polite bow, hands clasped before her. A neat and polite introduction, complete with a soft smile as she rose to meet his gaze again. “My name is Midoriya Inko. I’m a graduate law student at Kyushu University, and I was hoping you could take my Sensei’s Quirk.”

Well. 

How on earth was he supposed to kill such a charming, polite young woman when she came to him with such an interesting request such as that?

He couldn’t, of course, was the answer.

---

Inko always had trouble with authority.

Even when she was very young she’d been prone to doing what she was told she shouldn’t just because an adult told her not too. Her father - in what faint and blurring memories she had of him before his death - used to call her his little revolutionary and would laugh over the hijinks her stubborn nature would produce. Then again, her father had his reasons to support the wholesale refusal to bend to the whims of authority. 

Trying to take down the corrupt system the government had put in place had been the cause of his death, after all.

Her mother had been far less amused by Inko’s acts of rebellion for rebellion’s sake. Always begging Inko to please just follow the rules just once honey with a perpetually exhausted look on her face. Inko’s only picture of her mother - a snapshot of the entire family at a park, her small frame held in her father’s arms a month before he would be killed - showed Nana Shimura with a wide, infectious smile in place. It felt odd looking at it in years to come, as Inko could only recall her mother looking mournful and sad in those last days.

It had been Kotaro that was the well behaved one of the two of them. Thirteen minutes older than her, he took the responsibilities of the eldest sibling with a seriousness that was almost frightening at times when they’d been children.

He’d been the one to tell her not to get into trouble, the one to reprimand her when she misbehaved. The one to tell her not to sneak out when they were teenagers in one of their many foster homes after their mother had given them up. Rule abiding, strict and, as they’d grown, more and more obsessed with control. Of her, of their situation, of whatever he could. A strangling, grasping bid at a control that had only led their already rocky relationship to splinter even further.

Her last conversation with him before she’d stopped speaking to him completely he’d told her that she should be a quiet housewife. She’d gone and applied to law school the very next day.

She still found herself wondering if that had been Kotaro being clever. Using her own contrary impulses to make her commit to something she’d always wanted to do but been too uncertain about to try and follow. It would have been the kindest he’d been to her in years if it was true, and she’d been too afraid to reach out to him to find out for fear that it wasn’t.

Instead she focused on her studies, focused on being the person she wanted to be instead of the person she’d been forced to become over the years. Not the abandoned daughter of a hero that had to retire too soon, but someone who was able to take the rules she’d been so long rebelling against and reshape them. Twist them under her hands until they settled into something she could believe in. Something she could follow.

At nineteen, after careful consideration and one less-than-helpful conversation with her friend Mitsuki she changed her name to Midoriya. On her twentieth birthday enjoying the fact that she could - legally - drink herself into oblivion, she cut her waist long hair off in a single ugly cut with the kitchen scissors. The next hour was spent in laughter as Mitsuki’s shy fashion student boyfriend Masaru fixed the mess as best he could. At twenty-one she clutched her best friend’s hand and gritted her teeth as a tattoo artist brought to life a stylized kitsune on her shoulder. A mark of the trickster she wished to become. And in between all of that, she proved herself to the academic world at large and earned herself a full ride to Kyushu University’s much lauded law program.

The work was challenging, equal parts exhilarating and mind-numbingly boring. She spent her days working hard to get top marks in every class, to ace every test, and impress every teacher with her sharp wit and unbending will. Her nights were filled with studying and working whatever jobs she could pick up to cover what her scholarships didn’t cover. Mitsuki teased her that she would get wrinkles from squinting at so many books, but her friend was always supportive. 

Years passed, semesters flying by in almost a dream at times, whisking her closer and closer to graduation and her dream of reshaping the system into something she could believe in. Despite her exhaustion, she’d found herself happier than she’d ever been in her life.

Which of course was the exact moment that it all started crashing down.

It started with one of the girl’s in the same program as Inko suddenly dropping the ball on her studies, the other woman’s grades began plummeting at an alarming rate. The girl -  Shibata Aiko - looked ragged and exhausted, unable to focus and eventually being dropped from the program entirely due to the issues with her academic performance. 

A few weeks later it was another female student shutting herself away in her dorm room for an entire week. The girl finally left her dorm looking haggard and sick, refusing to speak to anyone as she walked barefoot out into the wider world and immediately attempted to throw herself in front of a bus. 

Then one of Inko’s senpai’s - kind and serious Hanako who had mentored Inko briefly when she’d first joined the school - had what could only be called a breakdown in the school library. Screaming and crying as she began tearing up law books and flinging chairs.

Each incident was quickly handled and waved away as young women not suited for the high expectations and difficulties of such a high ranking university. Most of Inko’s classmates had been, if not content to accept that information, at least too exhausted by their own heavy workloads to question further.

But Inko never was good at accepting the will of authority.

[atlantablack]

FAVORITE WORKS OF 2021

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Tagged by: I wasn't tagged by anyone! i did this tag meme last year and wanted to do it again for fun!

Oldest to Newest:

1. no (wo)man is an island

Harry Potter | golden trio poly | 2,046

Holding someone’s soul next to your own for seventeen years leaves behind an echo.

An echo is all that’s needed to carry a voice across space (and time).

2. from blood and bone (to earth and sea)

Merlin | Arthur & Morgana | 2,090

Every time Morgana believes she’s rid herself of affection for Gwen and Arthur, that same traitorous part of her heart roars back to life, threatening to strangle her with guilt.

She was done with feeling guilty, this is what she had told herself, and yet Arthur is screaming at his father as if he would give the kingdom up now all for one serving girl. That is to say nothing of the look on Gwen’s face when she’d met Morgana’s eyes. The betrayal shining in her eyes had cut deeper than any knife ever could.

She had said she was done with this. The throne was hers, Uther corrupt, and she could not trust Arthur with it. She could not but— . . . “You won’t kill her,” she says calmly, voice ringing through the room. “You won’t banish her either.”

3. drawing lines

Merlin | Gwen centric | 2,900

"Just because you are soft doesn't mean you are not a force. Honey and wildfire are both the color of gold." - Victoria Erickson

Gwen has never forgotten that Camelot is not the place of her ancestors, but for a time everyone she had loved had been held within the city and she had been safe. She had been happy.

That time has passed and she finds herself having to decide how much more she is willing to bear for the sake of a kingdom that does not care for her. If she is willing to bear anymore at all.

4. (forever is) the sweetest con

Harry Potter | Sirius/Voldemort | 24,740 | in progress

Sirius Black graduates Hogwarts in 1978, two months later he looks James in the eyes and lies through his teeth.

"I’m going home, taking back my spot as heir to the Black family,” he says, the lie tasting like ash on his tongue. “I think it’s past time we grew up, James. I’m sorry you don’t agree.”

5. a god at an altar, a beggar full of faith

Merlin | Merlin/Arthur | 4,998

The dawn was breaking the bones of your heart like twigs. You had not expected this, the bedroom gone white, the astronomical light ... - Visible World by Richard Siken

For every person that sinks magic beneath Arthur's skin like an offering, another tries to murder him, always furious when the magic harmlessly bounces off, Arthur held safe by the sacrifices of those who have died for him.

He wonders if they knew that he was aware of what they were doing. He spends a lot of time wondering why they would protect him. His father has them murdered and still more come, always in disguise, sometimes only brushing past him in the marketplace, a finger to his wrist, a hand to his back, the sweet rush of protection burrowing beneath his skin and promising safety.

He wonders how long it is until they decide to stop protecting the son of their butcher?

Tagging: @queerofthedagger @kitastrophea @being-luminous @magicinavalon @kairenn-n

[whumpiary]

After literally a year and a day on the nose... here is The Present Timeline update. This piece was originally going to be a lot longer but it’s been split into two because it got Too Big.

Follows directly on from either here or here, which in themselves are companion pieces. Please be careful with earlier present timeline pieces! They’re early work and some may not have the best content warnings.

content warnings: brief gory descriptions of death, brief emeto mention, referenced drug abuse, referenced drugging.

-

Josiah is the first to move but Mal is the first to react. Before Cass has finished falling, he’s being cradled in Josiah’s arms and lowered to the floor. Before he’s fully lost consciousness Mal is moving in, grabbing his wrist to check for a pulse, pulling him into the recovery position with a gentle "On his side, mate."

Mal’s got that tense precision on his face he gets when there’s an unexpected problem, but Josiah doesn't seem surprised when Cass' body starts shuddering, shaking. Josiah mentions that it had happened once already a few days earlier and Mal’s explaining what they need to do in that soft voice that says everything’s handled, and Josiah’s eyes focused on Cass' face like he's checking for what went wrong in the creases of a frown, and both men are moving calmly through the motions to make sure the one on the floor is okay. And Lou… Lou is frozen.

She wants, desperately, to run. To leave. All she wants is to get out of here. But she's fucking frozen. Because Cass… he’s back. He's back and he… He's not meant to look like that. He's not meant to be…

God, Cass is meant to look rough and raw and lean, like he just crawled out of a dumpster after fighting a raccoon for the last bottle of booze in a bar that got shut down last month. He’s not meant to look neat. He’s not meant to look… well.

She wants to run. She wants to run. She wants to run.

He doesn't look like Cass. He looks like the person who'd play Cass in a movie. He looks like someone commissioned a painting of him by a very generous artist. He looks like he died and the person organising his funeral went to a lot of effort to make sure the photo on the invites was as innocent looking as possible

How could someone look cleaner and healthier but so much worse both at once?

"...ou. Lou. Love."

It's Mal's voice, calling her name, and she realises then that she's hyperventilating, blood rushing in her ears, world tilting.

She wants to run.

"Lou, we've got him. He's fine," Mal says gently, fixing her with that look. The Mal look. The everything's already handled look. Keep calm and carry on. "Go get some air."

She turns on her heel and is out the front door before he can even finish the sentence. She wants to run, she wants to run, she wants to run, but she's too familiar with panic to let it take her, to let it flood. She leans heavy on the banister of the front porch and breathes hard, hands wrapped behind her head.

Cass is not meant to look like that.

In the year and a bit he's been missing, gone, she'd imagined everything. She'd imagined him husked out and empty on a street corner, overdosed and drooling in a motel, body mangled on the side of a road. Bullets in his head. Knife in his gut. Bloated and drowned. Strangled and blue.

She'd never expected… Never thought… She'd never let herself believe he'd be fine.

She can hear Josiah and Mal's muffled voices through the wall, calm and stress like an easing tide between them as they discuss what to do.

She wants to run.

"He'll be fine," she hears Mal muttering. She can't hear Josiah at all. "He's going to be fine."

She wants to run.

She doesn't.

She throws up in the garden instead.

-

Mal finds Lou sitting with her head between her knees on the porch swing.

He doesn’t say anything.

As soon as he sits beside her, she's crumpled into his lap and it's only times like this that he remembers how damn little she is. She's usually half the size of whatever room she needs to fill. But curled into him and breathing deep, shaking out soundless little sobs from somewhere deep, she's exactly the size of her body. And it's almost hard to look at.

“He’s… Mal he’s alive,” she heaves. “He’s alive and he’s… He’s fucking fine.”

“If it makes you feel any better, love,” Mal murmurs against her back “I think he’s fairly far from fine.”

She buries her face in her arms, in his lap, “Good. I hope he’s fucking ruined. I hope he never gets better.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do,” she says, voice muffled. He rubs his thumb in circles over the peach-fuzz behind her ear and waits. She breathes. A little hitch in her lungs. Whispers, “No, I don't.”

The breeze picks up around the house and on the back of his hand Mal can feel the first specks of rain, reaching them even under the cover veranda. He watches as the chill of it runs down Lou’s spine and she curls even tighter into him, ring-covered hand curling in the fabric of his Henley.

He traces the shape of her knuckles and presses a kiss to her head, just behind her ear.

“I thought he’d be dead by now,” she says, voice crackling. “I hoped… Fuck, I wanted-”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to forgive him.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yes I do,” she whispers. “I do when he looks like that and when Josiah… when Josiah…”

Mal closes his eyes and sighs, thumb running circles. “I know.”

He leans his head back and pushes his feet against the ground, rocking the both of them gently on the swing, like a baby’s cradle, as he tries to collect his thoughts up. All the scraps he’s learned about Cassius over the past two years or so.

“Cass. When you knew him. Big user of prescription drugs?"

Lou snorts a laugh. Sniffs. “Big user of everything.”

“Right.”

The wind picks up again and Mal pushes his hair back with a sigh just to get it out of his face. Should’ve brought a hair tie.

“Benzos, I think,” Lou mutters after a minute or so, wrapping her arms around his middle. He drifts his hand to her shoulder. “He used other shit on the weekend but day to day, fucktonne of benzos. I think Tucker got them for him.”

“And Tucker was…?”

“His minder. Fucking sleazy asshole. Pretty sure he was doing underhand shit with him on the side but Cass never talked about it. They deserved each other.”

Mal hums, low and deep. Lets out a sigh. That narrowed it down some but didn’t exactly confirm anything. Lou shifts where she’s crumpled, tilting her head up to look at him as the curiosity needles at her.

“Why?”

Mal traces the curve of her nose with his pinky finger before resting his hand under her jaw. “Pretty sure he’s in withdrawal. It’d help if we knew what for.”

He doesn’t mention the other thing Cass had said. He didn’t have enough of the details and he wasn’t gonna get Lou’s head spinning over a story he’d barely had a foot in the door of hearing.

The people I was, people I was staying with. I think they, they… I think…

 had said could mean anything. People he’d been staying with for a year. For a week. For a night. Friends, foes, family, fuck buddies. Who the hell knew.

He’d thought maybe a benzo of some description. Rohypnol, perhaps. Maybe just a continual dose of Valium.

Do you know what it was they gave you?

It’d explain the paranoia. The trembling and the dizziness too. But there was no way to tell for sure really.

I don’t even, even know for sure that they, they, they did.

Jesus, what were they in for with this kid?

“D’you think he’s in Josiah’s head?” Lou asks after a gentle minute, pulling Mal from his thoughts.

Mal shrugs, glancing down at her. “Do you?”

“Yes,” she says, nearly immediately. In the seconds afterwards he watches the paranoia and the fury melt off her features like ice against heated metal. “No.”

The wind picks up and she shivers against him, tucks in even closer and trails her finger along a wrinkle in his shirt.

“I just don’t understand how he’s so… calm. How he can have forgiven him so easy.”

“Maybe he hasn’t,” Mal offers. He brushes his thumb along her cheek. “Have you asked?”

A long, long pause. Lou buries her face in his stomach, tightens her arms around his waist. The rain starts to hit the cover of the verandah in fat, heavy drops and Mal closes his eyes and raises his head just to listen to it. It sounds, piece by piece, like the sky’s caving in.

[explodingsynapses]

fytheuntamed's Untamed Fall Fest: Day 2- Family

Go under and come up again   

Nightless City, if it could be called a settlement anymore, did not rankle any memories.Ning Shushu tells him that it is not surprising. A Yuan had never been here.But Wen blood runs through his veins, this was the seat of his family; A Yuan feels that it at least ought to tickle a little something.

Read below or on ao3.

                                        Go under and come up again                                

A Yuan has always nursed a phantom ache in his heart. Or at least, he thought it was phantom until recently.

His heart would constrict, his days drowned in emptiness. He had always thought that the ache was to align with his Baba’s anguish. Hanguang Jun was always present, always kind, always righteous, always around for A Yuan.

He made A Yuan food, he snuck him candies, he buried him in piles of bunnies. He would let A Yuan sit on his lap for hours and let him test his fingers across Wangji.

His practice sword was fashioned by his baba. His first guqin string was tuned by his Baba.

When he moved into disciple quarters, it was with an easy assurance that he could walk into Jingshi anytime. His father packed his things, talisman papers, and ink brushes, and his grass toys.

By all means, Hanguang Jun’s steadfastness surprised other disciples his age. Even having both, a set of parents instead of just Baba, some of them were always a little taken aback by the bond that tied A Yuan and Hanguang Jun.

And yet, A Yuan had never needed his courtesy name to realize that his father hurt constantly. Not from the wounds in the back, but from inside.

So, when A Yuan hurt, and when he looked hard for the shadows that came to engulf him and grasped at nothing, or maybe something phantom; he had wondered if you could inherit sadness.

*****

Nightless City, if it could be called a settlement anymore, did not rankle any memories.

Ning Shushu tells him that it is not surprising. A Yuan had never been here.

But Wen blood runs through his veins, this was the seat of his family; A Yuan feels that it at least ought to tickle a little something.

Everything about the place is alien. The residence of his family is intact, if overgrown weeds and crumbling walls are overlooked.

Ning Shushu points things out.

They search for spaces where a cenotaph could go, or a memorial would make sense. A Yuan feels very little. He has not walked these corridors. And as much as Ning shushu is guiding him through the old walls, his stories sound like their family regretted any walk through these corridors too.

His family healed people. A Yuan has never been inclined towards the healing arts. He does not know what he wanted to be, as a child, or even when he grew up.

He knew he wanted to be something that would temper the anguish his father carried. He wanted to be something that mirrored his father in his righteousness. He wanted to be motley of things that didn’t mirror his father but always brought a tint of warm nostalgia in his father’s eyes. The eyes would get wet, but they appeared less wilted.

****

A Yuan had not inherited sadness. He had drowned in it as a child. Ducked and tried to gasp up for air, and the only thing that held on, that had delayed the drowning had come in the form of Xian Gege, the lotus trying to not sink as he held on to A Yuan.

Xian Gege had held onto him for as long as he could. He had held others, family of A Yuan above everything even as the world was pushing them down to the abyss.

But he knows he went under and came up again. He did not come whole, shedding pieces of himself, memories behind. He does not know their count, to be able to find them all again.

He wondered how many people willingly drowned themselves in the hopes that he would not drown. He does not know their names. He does not even remember those faces well. He had not recognized Xian Gege or mourned Qing gugu or known that Ning Shushu had been killed trying to protect…He remembers a bit of Granny now. But he cannot complete a picture.

*******

Nightless City leaves them both more restless. That is not the outcome they envisioned. In the end, they leave the city without leaving a mark.

A Yuan does not think it’s even his place to demand things. As eager as he has been to rejuvenate a connection, he knows that he does not have the same rights on the family as Ning Shushu does.

They make camp in the woods.

“Did it bring bad memories?” Ning Shushu gently asks after the quiet goes on for too long.

He is perceptive and A Yuan does not like to lie.

“No,” He pipes out despondently, “It did not bring any memories.”

Ning Shushu blinks, “and that upsets you.”

It is not a question. In fact, his gentleness always reminds him of Baba. But while A Yuan knows the iron, the ice, the fury his father guises in himself, he thinks Ning Shushu is an endless pool of tender patience.

“It does not upset you? The last blood heir of Wens does not know anything. Does not remember most things. Don’t I owe that to my family, my blood? They all tried so hard to make me live.” A Yuan has rarely had meltdowns. He was always precocious, well-adjusted.

“It does not,” Comes back softly.

A Yuan just stares. He knows he is on the cusp of being considered a grown-up, but he feels like a little child, with eyes wide open, and tears pooling in his eyes.

“No one sacrificed things for you because you had the wen blood running in your veins. They did it because you were a child that they cherished and loved. Blood does not make family, A Yuan.”

A Yuan just kept looking at him intently.

“Wei Gongzi always looked out for me. He knew my sister and I were sent to spy. He knew the things our uncle was getting up to. He did not hold it against us. In fact, he was kinder and affectionate than anyone I know. Even JieJie would sometime doubt my abilities, fret about me, but it was Wei gongzi who believed in me. He went against Wen Chao to defend my archery skills. One of them was my blood, the other is the man who has taught me the most about family. “

“Wei Gongzi does not share his blood with anyone. The Jiangs were not his blood. We were never his blood. It did not stop him from loving them as he did. It did not stop him from loving and protecting us. He had not even met your parents. Yet Granny told me a few days with you, he went around telling people that he had birthed you. He simply cared and gave love. We never wanted, none of us ever wanted you to feel this way.”

Ning shushu’s voice is soft, patient.

A Yuan manages to croak out through the streams of tears down his cheeks, “What did you want for me? I am no healer. I am not…”

“We wanted you to live. We wanted you to be loved. We wanted, we hoped that you would get to live your life.”

A Yuan looks on in confusion.

“None of us were under any misconception that we were living on borrowed time. JieJie and I had taken part in the war. The others were old, crippled by the war. They did not hope to live longer. Their only wishes towards the end were for you to be able to live a happy life, and for Wei Gongzi to not suffer for the choices he made to protect us.”

A Yuan lets out a strangled sob. He does not know what he is crying for. He still cannot picture their faces, but something is crushing his heart. How can he be so loved by people he does not even remember?

“This is beyond what we imagined. Hanguang Jun raising you, for you to be so loved, so gentle, so accepting. Wei Gongzi and I thought you dead. We probably held out a little kindle of hope of you being alive. Wei Gongzi blamed himself. You being alive is a miracle. We would have been happy if you were raising chickens in a farm if you were doing it with a smile. Now, you are the first Disciple of Gusu Lan, so well-liked by your peers, so gracious…I know everyone who fought for your life is smiling from above. ”

“I do not know anything about being a Wen,” A Yuan cries out.

“I was never much of a Wen. Wei Gongzi is not a Wen. Your Baba is not a Wen. They are two of the best people I know. It is fortuitous that you resemble them and not our cousins.” Ning Shushu tells patiently.

“I miss them,” He croaks out without meaning to.

“Your fathers miss you too.” Ning Shushu said kindly, “We can start our journey towards them at dawn.”

“But the memorial?” A Yuan protests. He will not be so self-centered.

“Your happiness was always our primary concern, A Yuan. They have waited for a few years for a memorial, they can wait for some more time.” There was a smile there.

A Yuan just sniffled, letting himself wonder a bit.

Ning shushu continued “And it has taken coming back to this city to make me realize that this was never home. This was prison. We were not Qishan Wen. We always hoped to leave and be happier in our mountain, and that is on the way to Gusu.”

“Dafan mountain, the dancing goddess?” A Yuan asks.

Ning Shushu nods.

“I don’t remember their faces.” A Yuan blurts out, “I mean could you tell me about them?”

Ning Shushu nods happily before launching into a story.

It is when A Yuan is almost asleep, that Ning shushu said, “We should ask Wei Gongzi to come too. He was their family too, he should be able to mourn. And he is a better artist than either of us. He could paint their faces for you.”

“Why did you not ask him earlier?” A Yuan asks, only curious.

“He has spent a lifetime going away from your Baba. And your Baba has lived without him long enough. The thing about Wei Gongzi is he always thinks of everyone else’s happiness before his own. And just this once, I thought I would not give him any choice besides Hanguang Jun.” Ning Shushu said.

A Yuan lets out a snort in the middle of his yawn, “He was wearing Baba’s inner robe…”

“Ah nephew, you need to know their sordid history for the context. You did not spend your teenage years watching them moon after each other and as JieJie said ‘be sanctimonious idiots’. But well, I tried,” Ning Shushu mumbles, or maybe A Yuan is already halfway to sleep.

It’s fine. They have time.

*******

FIN

[supremeuppityone]

Chapter 119: Part 2 — What Makes Up a Monster

Author’s note: This is a sequel to Chapter 47 - What Makes Up a Monster in my series, A Beautiful Symmetry. This was written for Klaroline Bingo @klaroline-events. P.S. See if you can spot my shameless plug for another of my stories. :)

Part 3 can be found here.

Prompt: “What do you mean you’re a vampire?” Klaus may have played the lead in a wildly successful monster movie franchise, but it never occurred to him that there was any truth to the stories.

Warning: Angst. Also, some sexy times! Plus, I lost count of all the TO shade. :)

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild.” ― Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from Different Seasons

           Maybe the plastic vines wrapped around that twit’s neck would strangle her. Caroline watched in irritation as the twit actress Camille pretended to struggle with the vines, whose pointy thorns were somehow supposed to mean the demise of Klaus’ character, Hell’s Hybrid. They were a couple of weeks into filming the movie in the immensely popular franchise, Hell’s Hybrid 5: Terrible Tears in New Orleans, and Camille’s hilariously awful overacting coupled with her exaggerated facial expressions only had gotten worse.

           But what had gotten better was the view. The familiar clip-clop noise of Klaus’ cloven hooves drew her attention, and she eyed his muscular chest appreciatively. It had been decades since a human had captured her interest like this; every covert wink and sly smirk of his had her blushing like a schoolgirl and she couldn’t wait to drag him back to his trailer for some in-depth makeup removal.

           Their initial meeting had been memorable — he’d assumed she was either a stripper or a hooker his brother had hired, and she’d been so charmed by his appreciation for ‘60s horror movie makeup that she’d thrown caution to the wind and revealed that she’d been the mastermind who’d created those designs. Because she was a vampire.

           “What do you mean you’re a vampire?” Klaus’ reaction hadn’t been unexpected once he’d seen her black veins and sharp fangs, but once he’d calmed down, he’d bombarded her with questions about her experience in the movie industry over the past century. His enthusiasm was endearing. Klaus had been reduced to a wide-eyed fanboy when he heard about his favorite actors from his childhood.  

           “You mean the Pageant Screams reaper’s stunt double also was in Chupacabra Cheerleaders? AND he ad-libbed that harvest scene in Cutthroat Coven?”

           “Yes, and then the writers forgot to tie his speech back into the main plot, so there were all kinds of embarrassing loopholes with the harvest witches’ ancestral magic. So, I just added more blood spurts to the makeup special effects to distract the audience,” she cheekily explained, heart fluttering a bit at Klaus’ delighted laughter.

           “Doesn’t someone’s nose need to be powdered,” Camille snidely asked, jarring Caroline from her thoughts.

           Caroline blinked back her monster who’d been a bit on edge after she missed her snack because the extras required prosthetic touchups. Twit actress did not want to light this particular fuse. “Yours certainly does, but I sent one of the PAs for the really big sponges first. It must be awful to be cursed with an oil slick for skin.”

           She’d always been a petty bitch, and there was nothing more satisfying than putting someone in their place right after they’d failed to put her in hers. Caroline’s blue eyes twinkled with malice as Camille valiantly searched for a comeback.

           They both were distracted when the scene broke and Klaus began to towel off, sending Caroline a flirtatious wink that made her cheeks turn rosy. Camille hissed venomously in her ear, “Just remember, you’ll never be more than Klaus Mikaelson’s side piece.”

           “Easy, love,” Klaus murmured as he reached her side, “I assume you’ve no interest in showing your lovely second visage to the rest of the crew?”

           Caroline rolled her eyes as they walked back to his trailer. “Your groupies are getting ridiculous. This morning, I caught the one with the perpetual pout adding laxatives to my spiced chai.”

           “Bloody hell — we should report that to Enzo. As director, he could kick her off the movie.”

           She was touched by the concern she heard in his voice, but she waited until they were safely inside his trailer before she kissed him. “You’re sweet, but it’s not necessary. Most human drugs have little effect on my kind. Besides, I really enjoyed making her think she’d drank my tea by mistake.”

           Klaus chuckled as he sat beside her on the couch. “I suppose you’ve acquired...groupies over the years as well,” he asked, determinedly trying to keep his tone light.

           “I’ve never been one for blood bunnies,” Caroline sarcastically replied, hating the twinge she felt when their conversations brushed up against anything too real. “Besides, human relationship are hard — they pretty much have to give up their world for yours in order to keep your secret. It’s not an easy life.”

           The small circles he traced on her back were soothing. His voice was hesitant as he commented, “It sounds lonely. I can’t imagine what it would be like to not have...” he quieted, an awkward silence between them as Caroline realized he was going to say family.

           It was one of the first things he’d asked about once he’d gotten over his shock at her revelation of the supernatural world. He was very close with his siblings, and it seemed to pain him to learn that she didn’t have a family. Smiling brightly, she laced their fingers together and teased, “It’s not so bad. I’ve gotten to meet giants in the industry — Lugosi, Garbo, Hepburn, Crawford...you...” she trailed off with a knowing smile.

           He snorted softly, “I’m not an industry giant.”

           “Not yet,” she replied, playfully poking one of his dimples. “But I predict Klaus Mikaelson will go on to do great things.”

           Klaus’ gray eyes suddenly lit up, his handsome face breaking out into a silly grin as he told her excitedly, “Actually, I do have some news that I’m really excited to share. I received word today that I’ve been cast as the co-lead in A Simple Kind of Man!”

           Caroline let out an excited squeal at his news. Industry insiders were vying for a piece of Spielberg’s bold, sweeping Norse saga. Even a year out from pre-production, it already had garnered more than its fair share of Oscar buzz. “That’s amazing news,” she replied, pulling him in for a fierce hug, “I told you you’d be a giant in this industry! With your talent, it was just a matter of time!”

           He laughed, a slight flush staining his cheeks as he enthusiastically continued, “My agent and publicist are planning a big media blitz, so you can’t say anything yet, but this adds a whole new layer to my career. I can parley this opportunity into even bigger and better roles and create a legacy; I’ll be more than just a mere footnote in the industry.”

           Her smile dimmed at his words, but she did her best to keep it in place. She’d watched Klaus on and off the set over the past couple of weeks and he breathed so much life into the silly Hell’s Hybrid franchise. He was meant to be a star. He craved it. He wanted to settle into a career that lasted decades; to become the next McKellen or Hopkins. It would be an amazing life for him. And one she couldn’t be a part of.

           “Sweetheart, what is it?”

           She shook her head, blue eyes shining with unshed tears that she furiously blinked away. It was stupid to mourn something before it had the chance to become something. “It’s nothing. I’m really happy for you, Klaus. It’s everything that you deserve and I know you’ll be amazing.” She lowered her gaze, unsure of how to explain. “You desire the spotlight, and I want you to have it. But being what I am, it’s a place I can’t follow.”

           His crestfallen expression hurt her heart, and she gave a half-shrug, chuckling darkly, “Us monsters have to stick to the shadows.”

           “You’re not a monster,” Klaus quickly disagreed, “and the time we’ve spent getting to know each other has been amazing. We’re building toward something that could be incredible — don’t you want that?”

           Damn it. His pleading, earnest tone made Caroline want to weep. “Of course I do.” She held his face in her hands, desperate for him to understand. “But your world is about to get a lot bigger and way more complicated. That spotlight you crave is blinding and everyone will want a piece of you. And they’ll definitely want to know everything there is to know about the mysterious makeup artist who’s caught your eye.”

           Her voice became a harsh whisper. “My survival depends on anonymity. It’s not how I want it, but that’s the way it has to be.” She surged forward, capturing his lips with hers. They’d carried on a flirty relationship since they began working together, trading a few sweet kisses here and there, but it was nothing compared to this. This was fire and carnal need and her skin vibrated under his roaming touch as they sank together on the couch.

           Klaus pulled back slightly, his lips still hovering over hers and his tone rueful as he asked, “How are we supposed to walk away from this?”

           A tear escaped as she replied with a soft sigh, “We just have to.” Caressing his cheek, she tentatively questioned, “But maybe we could have this first. Can one night be enough?”

           Gray eyes blazed as he swore, “One night with you would never be enough. But it will have to do.” He brought his mouth down on hers in a punishing kiss, his hands roaming over her body as though trying to memorize every line.

           She purred in delight when he yanked her fuchsia tank top over her head, nibbling at his collarbone as he groaned above her. All those hours he’d spent in her makeup chair had been sweet torture as she’d done her best to avert her eyes from the tight-fitting shorts he always wore. But now, she let her hands roam with wild abandon, eagerly palming him as his flesh twitched in pleasure.

           “I want you,” she panted, hooking her thumbs under his waistband to slide down the material underneath his rock-hard cock. She let out a giggle as he accidentally kicked over the side table, scattering his werewolf claws and cloven hooves.

           With a sexy growl, he ducked his curly head to lightly bite at her exposed hip, dragging down her ruffled skirt until she was bare before him. His lusty gaze made her feel desired. Like she wasn’t a monster. Caroline let fingers wander down her belly, teasing him as she barely grazed her clit.

           “Fuck yes,” Klaus breathed, staring hungrily at her.

           He liked to watch. She licked her lips when he joined her, their fingers gently sliding into her warmth, slow, steady pumps that built up that golden sensation to make her weak. She was so close to the edge, but he pulled away at the last moment, plunging their fingers into his mouth with a satisfied grin.

           She parted her thighs, a low moan escaping her lips as he positioned his slick tip, slowly rubbing against her. That first thrust wrecked her, their bodies crashing against each other as she cried out in pleasure. It was a thing of beauty to watch his muscles flex and strain to please her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist to bring him closer. She needed to touch every part of him.

           Klaus bucked into her, keeping up the punishing pace as she started to ride out the waves of ecstasy. One final, deliciously dirty grind had them both seeing stars, their moans threading together in a steady hum of bliss.

           “You’re a bloody revelation,” he panted, pulling her into his arms as they settled back on the couch.

           Caroline breathed in Klaus’ citrus and cedar scent, idly wondering if she’d carry him on her skin once they were done. She wanted to remember everything from this moment. “And you’re wonderful,” she sighed regretfully.

           His embrace immediately tightened, and she did her best to relax her body against his. Klaus’ tone was gruff as he asked, “So, this is it — we somehow manage to walk away?”

           This is it. Caroline knew all of her reasons by heart — even if Klaus had no intention of pursuing fame, he’d never be able to keep her secret — he and his siblings were close and at some point, he’d feel that burden of not being honest with them. Plus, he loved being a star. And as his star shined brighter, paparazzi would swarm them, picking apart every detail of their lives. And then they might find out about her.

           Heart thudding in her chest, she leaned over to give him a lingering kiss, traitorous tears clinging to her lashes by the time it ended. Once he opened his eyes, she took a breath, hating what would happen next. “Klaus, I want you to listen.” It was difficult to keep her tone even and melodic, but she pressed on knowing it was important that she did this right. She summoned her monster, letting her eyes widen as she captured his gaze.  

           He looked at her with so much trust. There was a sadness that settled over him, almost as though he instinctively knew what was she was going to do. “I wish I could trust you, but I can’t take the risk. This is how I survive. It was impulsive and stupid for me to show you what I am, but we had this connection and I couldn’t help myself. I’m selfish.”

           Caroline hated his blank stare. The one that she put there. “You won’t remember the time we’ve spent together. You won’t remember what I am. I’m merely a makeup artist for your movie and while we’ve exchanged a few words, you barely know me.”

           “I barely know you,” Klaus mumbled flatly, still dazed from her compulsion.

           She choked back a sob, quickly pulling on her clothes and leaving his trailer. She didn’t look back.

                           _________________________________________

           She’d mercifully managed to avoid Klaus the next day, compelling Enzo to insist Davina handle Klaus’ monster makeup while she focused on the group of extras that were filming the Abattoir scene. The unnecessarily darkscene because Enzo stupidly had thought that he was establishing a gothic atmosphere, but instead would just give the moviegoers eyestrain when they tried to see the actors. She threaded her way through the giggling extras, in desperate need of a caffeine fix if she was going to make it through the day’s grueling shooting schedule.

           “Come on, you’re telling me you’ve never hit that?”

           Caroline stopped short, realizing that was Tyler’s voice. Tyler was part of Klaus’ growing entourage, and his main function seemed to be partying on Klaus’ dime. One more exclusive Arcadius diamond timepiece and she was compelling Tyler to give sponge baths at the retirement home in the Valley.  

           She cautiously peeked around the edge of the fireplace set, noting with a pang that Klaus somehow looked even better today. Of course he would — he hadn’t been up tossing and turning all night. Because he didn’t remember.

           He ran a hand through his curls, tossing an irritated look at Tyler. “Caroline’s a makeup artist for this movie and while we’ve exchanged a few words, I barely know her.” Fuck. Caroline felt that all the way down to her toes. You did this. Those are the words you compelled Klaus to say. You aren’t allowed to be upset.

           “Whatever. She’d probably be a clingy one-night stand anyway.”

           Klaus glared at Tyler, a hint of a growl in his tone as he said, “Don’t be daft. I suspect one night would never be enough.”

[frumfrumfroo]

Hello! I'm a (former?) star wars fan who was utterly devastated by TRoS and had to take an indefinite break from the fandom as a result. During lockdown I discovered kdramas and they're my new obsession! I saw that you recommended Coffee Prince and My Love from the Star in a post. I've already seen and loved those (and my own current favourites include Are You Human and Hwayugi) so I was wondering if you could recommend a few more? Thank you!!

Coitenly! /curly

Her Private Life- my new favourite. The curator of an art museum leads a secret double life as a hardcore kpop fangirl; both her identities get off on entirely the wrong foot with famous artist Ryan Gold who has been suffering from an art block caused by the same mysterious painting she’s determined to buy for her idol oppa. If you want a funny, fluffy, character-driven romance where you can really love the leads and will never want to strangle them: this is your show. It is the most purely enjoyable romcom drama ever imo, there’s none of the frustration over ridiculous behaviour or contrived stakes that you typically have to deal with and it has a satisfying, perfect ending. The villains all aren’t so bad after all, everyone gets an arc, the gentle little mystery has a happy resolution, and it’s just about some people facing their issues and helping each other grow. It was very healing to watch in this media climate.

The plot is nothing to write home about and includes a unneeded kdrama cliché towards the end (well-handled and not dragged out, so I forgive it), but the real ‘story’ is the character development and the plot is just a frame to hang that on. Overrall, it’s incredibly refreshing because of the high quality characters and the emotional maturity of the relationship. The leads have insane chemistry, the sexual tension is legit palpable, and the intimacy once they get together is genuinely next level; they are so natural and so endearing it feels like they’re not acting. Ryan Gold is also the best boyfriend in kdrama history and is played by the world’s most beautiful living man, Kim Jae Wook, whom you’ll recognise as our Waffle-kun Sun Ki from Coffee Prince. So it’s got that going for it as well.

Other romcoms: Sungkynkwan Scandal (historical disguise romance! girl needs to dress up as a guy to take the national exam so she can support her family, shenanigans ensue), My Princess (normal girl discovers she’s a lost princess, the guy her ascension will disinherit is in charge of grooming her for the role- it’s cute), Prime Minister & I (contract marriage), What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim (I think this show is pretty overrated but it’s definitely a fun, low-stakes romance with lots of fluff and lots of kissing and we probably all need a bit of that right now).

Change of pace:

Tell Me What You Saw- this is for my clannibals. Crime drama about a green country cop getting tied up in the apparent resurfacing of a famous serial killer who is officially supposed to be dead. She was driven to become a police officer to solve the hit-and-run death of her mother, but she hasn’t made it out of her home town. Then a body is dumped in her neighbourhood and her photographic memory of the scene draws the attention of the big city team leader. Said team leader takes her to meet the reclusive, ex-detective criminal profiler who originally worked the serial killer case.

A bond develops where she acts as his eyes and ears in the field and he trains her to observe like a detective, but our recluse is a very damaged dude and he’s not exactly being forthcoming about his real agenda.

This show has plot and logic issues, sometimes to its profound detriment, but the characters are extremely strong and everything else about it is fucking A+. Atmosphere, acting, action, pacing, intrigue, etc. are all fantastic. The ending was also unexpectedly wonderful and I was so grateful for that. Oh Hyun Jae (the profiler) is a secretive, broken, lonely, manipulative genius who is always fifteen steps ahead of everyone else and I find that very, very sexy of him. He is an anti-hero for most of the series and contrasts with our more idealistic protagonist both in that and in other more subtle ways. Their relationship is super interesting and I ship them really hard.

My Country- I’ll just tell you that the main characters are a mess and the plot leaves a lot to be desired, but watch it for Bang-won. He is a sad angry murder prince and he’s amazing. The whole show is peak eye candy throughout, every episode looks like an epic film with insane production value, so if you want quality action spectacle with a dangerous hot woobie way more interesting than the leads who seems to have wandered in from an infinitely better story to replace the ST- you’re set. Great news, he’s a real historical figure and became king, so they can’t kill him off.

[harryimaginestuff]

Never Love Again

Anon: Can you do one with harry being a dick/asshole and is really mean to y/n hurts her feelings(they arent dating) and harry tries to win? her back major angst please :)))

The song lyric used in this is from ‘Never Love Again’ from ‘A Star is Born’.

The one where Harry’s never been meaner (acquaintances!harry&y/n)

Genre: Angst 

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: Mentions of death

      You’re thankful for the radiators on blast, their artificial heat hugging you allowing you to release the strong grip you had on your coat as the clear door slams shut behind you thanks to one of many strong gusts of wind.

      Wiping your feet on the carpet you wave animatedly at Jess, the receptionist, hurriedly taking off your scarf and coat hanging it on the pegs provided. Coming here had become a regular for you over the Summer, the prime time of music writing for musicians, so now in the freezing month of December getting ready for a writing session in one of London’s most famous recording studios had become second-nature to you.

      Jeff Azoff had contacted you years ago after hearing about your impeccable talent for song writing and admirable professionalism, something that he himself revered because he knew first-hand how frenzied operating within in this industry could get. So, when one of his father’s clients – John Mayor if we really feel like name dropping – had rambled on profusely about your undeniable talent he had no choice but to check you out. And that was almost 4 years ago. From then on the two of you had formed a close bond, tagging along on family holidays, being invited to the fanciest of parties and being the resident ghost writer for Full Stop Management.

      And today just like most days you were called into the studio to aid with the writing of yet another global superstar and according to the vague text that Jeff had sent you that morning, said artist was Harry Styles.

      Now, you weren’t completely unfamiliar with the man, after all having a friendship with Jeff automatically meant that you would constantly be in Harry’s presence, however you wouldn’t go as far as to call yourself friends. Your relationship with him had always been low-key and mediocre, chatting occasionally, and for lack of a better word, the two of you were merely friendly. Nothing more, nothing less. You had absolutely no issue with this of course, it wasn’t as if you both would never talk, you would exchange formalities, have light-hearted conversations, and his gentlemanly behaviour was evident from when the two of you had first met. You had always admired him, even in his boyband days, loving how he was never afraid to just be, respecting how he had the kindest and most gentle soul. You had no issue with admiring him from a distance.

      As you entered the recording booth you were greeted with warm smiles weirdly from everyone sans Harry it seemed. You shrugged off his odd behaviour, excusing his cold greeting with the fact that he has been stuck in here for hours, the stress from making a song stealing all of his attention as the deadline for his next album fast approached.

      “M’so sorry I’m late guys, got caught up at home.” You sheepishly mumbled an apology plopping yourself on the coach beside Mitch as you pulled your notebook out of your bag. You almostmissed the look Harry gave you, his face screwing up in distaste as he rolled his eyes. Almost.

    “No worries Y/N.” Jeff’s American accent ran thick, “You’re the one doing us a favour.” You ignored the sound of Harry huffing across the room, instead choosing to focus on finding the piece you thought would be best for Harry.     “We’ve been stuck here for hours,” Mitch groaned beside you, his head leaning back as he closed his eyes, “please tell me you have something for us.”

     You chuckled lightly, “As a matter of fact I do, it’s not much but it should be enough to kickstart a few gears,” reaching over you gently patted Mitch’s head to which he smiled brightly up at you.

      “Think I’ll be the judge of that thanks.” Harry finally spoke up; however, he was still huffing and puffing, “S’my album.”

     You ignored Harry’s harsh tone, instead choosing to smile brightly at him handing over your open notebook to which he took without even a whisper of a thank you.

      You watched on with nerves, your fingers fiddling on your lap as you Harry’s eyes skimmed over the pages covered with your hard work.

      However, rather than receiving the praise you thought you would get you were met with another scoff as his judgemental eyes turned to you.

     “S’supposed be prepared aren’t you? That’s why Jeff pays you.”

     “Harry!” Jeff shouts, yet the volume of his voice falls flat once it reaches Harry’s ears.

      “First your fucking late, s’not very professional is it? And then you hand me your supposed ‘chosen’ piece and it cannot be any further from what I am.”      “Don’t doubt my ability to write when I’ve been successfully for other artists for years.” You huffed, crossing your arms and leaning back into the leather sofa.      “M’ not doubting your abilities to write s’just even a basic amount of research would’ve been evidence that what you’ve just shown me is not like me.”

     Your heart beats erratically and your hands clench in an attempt to keep the rapidly growing irritation at bay. Reminding yourself repeatedly that it would not be okay if you were to kick him in the shins.

      “Like you said Harry, it’s your album you do have the final say,” you said through gritted teeth. “A ‘no thanks’ would’ve sufficed too though.”      Reaching out your arm you grab your abandoned notebook carefully turning to the page that had the other page with a post-it note hanging out. “I’ve got another one that I thought we could use.”

     Before coming you were sceptical of whether you would want anyone to look at these specific lyrics you had written, along with a couple others, you held these lyrics closest to your heart. However, it was this particular one that stood out to you as you had browsed through your book as soon as you received Jeff’s message. Maybe these lyrics could mean something to someone as much as it did to you.

     Please be gentle. You thought, once again handing the notebook back to Harry praying that he wouldn’t be as harsh with this one.

      Once again you were watching on, your body full of nerves more so than the previous time. But rather than receiving a death glare you were met with a breathy laugh as Harry read over the lyrics you had given.

      “Fucks sake,” you heard him mumble causing your heart to drop. “Have you ever even been in love?”

     “Wha-” you asked surprise ringing clear in your voice.

     “S’literally the most two-dimensional thing ever. S’not captured anything at all. And apparently you’re of the best writers today.” He complained. “Fucking lie s’what that is.”

     “Harry what’s wrong with you!” Mitch jumped to your defence, completely in shock at his mate’s behaviour.

     “M’just telling the truth, nothing wrong with that.” Harry pauses taking the time to read your work only to dissect it right in front of you. “Like seriously ‘Don’t wanna feel another touch’, pretty basic Y/N at least write something you have experience with.”

      Harry’s words were snarky and had no issue with cutting deep right to your bones.

      You sat there staring at the man across from you, completely dumbfounded with how your day had turned out. You never expected to be sitting across from Harry Styles, someone who had been nothing but nice to you since you first met and yet here you were, being ripped to shreds by the exact same man.      Your throat was tight as if being strangled with thorns, the words coming of your mouth strained as you fought the tears that were already threatening to spill. “You don’t even know me Harry.”

     “Yeah and I don’t need to to know what you’re like.”

     “I don’t know what’s warranted you to act the way you’ve been. M’just trying to help you get out of the funk that you’ve been in all day. No need to drag me through the mud.” You stood up, clutching your bag in your hands, shooting Harry one last look. “I’m going home I don’t feel too good, but feel free to browse through my book to find at least one thing that’s worth your time.”     You ignored the calls of your name from both Mitch and Jeff only sending them a small wave and a tight smile as you exited the room. You didn’t care if your actions seemed ‘unprofessional’ or ‘childish’ there was just no way you would allow yourself to break down in front of anyone.

     You weren’t ready to go back into the cold, not when you felt as if there was no more warmth left inside you. Who did he think was to say any of that to you? He had no clue what you’ve been through, what you’ve felt.

     You may have only been 18 at the time but heartbreak was still heartbreak and death was still death.

      You always struggled to think back to a time where he was there, when the dull ache in your chest hadn’t been torturing you for months on end. When you had felt free and loved.

      But one night he had been ripped from you, pried from your loving grip and taken away without so much as a last goodbye from either of you.

      It was a drunk driver. A tragic accident. One that you would never allow yourself to forget. He had been on his way to you that night, after you begged him to come over to keep you company.

      He was there until he wasn’t. And you hated yourself for a while because of it.

      Over the time your self-hatred had evolved to sadness, anger until finally peace. The first time you had ever felt such content was when you were sat at your desk, an untouched notebook resting in front of you, your hands moving before your mind could even process. Until hours later you finally stopped and what was once untouched was now full of words, lyrics and songs about what you felt, ups and downs and all.

      And now the same notebook rested on the small coffee table, ready to be dissected even further by a man who knew nothing.

     There was only one thing that could get you out of the hole you had sunk into. That night you found yourself sitting at the same desk, paper in-hand, where you wrote yourself to sleep, dreaming of a green-eyed man and a fatal collision. 

//

    It was a loud and startling knock that jerked you out of your slumber. Glancing at the clock you huffed in both confusion and annoyance, who would be here at 7am in the morning? The incessant knocking forced you to hurriedly walk to the door, calling out only to receive no answer, the sound of their knuckles overpowering your voice.

     And of course, the culprit behind the door would be none other than Harry Styles. After all who else would be up before 7am dressed in running gear, hair sweaty, a tell-tale sign that your place was a stop off after his morning jog.     “Harry?” you asked, confusion lacing your voice. “What are you doing here?”     Harry gestured to the door smiling shyly to which you nodded with a roll of the eye, swinging the door open he stepped in. “Nice.” He hummed, his eyes scanning the room.

     “Hello? It’s 7 in the morning Harry. Never mind how you even knew where I live but what are you doing here?”

     “Jeff.” He remarked still preoccupied with taking in your clustered flat. “I mean Jeff told me where you lived and I came back to give you your notebook.”     “Pretty sure Jeff’s not allowed to give out a client’s personal information.”     “He’s not.” Harry agreed, finally turning to look at you. “But I begged and s’more so to mend a friendship.”

     You shrugged your shoulders perplexed at the supposed friendship Harry claimed the two of you had. “Never aware we were friends to begin with.”     You were quick to cut off Harry’s reply, his mouth opening and his eyes shining with guilt. “I can see this conversation is going somewhere. Just give me a few to freshen up yeah? Just woke up.”

     Once you were in the safety of your bathroom, you let out a breath you weren’t aware you were holding and took your time to freshen up.

      “The fuck.” You mumbled looking at your scruffy complexion. “This man gives me a headache.”

       Hyping yourself up in the mirror, you finally deemed yourself ready to come face-to-face with the man who had hurt you the night before.

     “I didn’t know.” He said as soon as you walked in, almost as if he had sensed your presence. At first you were left confused by his words, but that was until you saw the frame he was gripping in his hands.

      “Of course you didn’t, why would you?” You spoke after a moments silence, gently prying his fingers off of the photo and placing it back where it belonged.      “Mitch knew.” you raise your eyebrows in question and what this had to do with anything. “You met Mitch years after me, but Mitch knew.” 

    “Can you blame me? We were never that close Harry, but I got to a point in my friendship with Mitch to feel comfortable enough to open up and for him to recognise when there was something wrong with me.”

     Harry huffed; his eyes downcast so to not meet yours. “S’my point! I’ve known you for almost four years now and I could never see beyond the front you put on. I couldn’t see that you were in pain.” 

    You were shocked at his broken confession, but it only did so little to cure the damage he had done yesterday when he had verbally ripped into you and your hard work. “You really hurt me yesterday.”

     At your words Harry looked up at you, taking your hand in his he gently pulled you to your sofa, his hand still on yours even when you sat down. “I can’t even express to you how sorry I am.”

     “You can start with why maybe. I may not know you well, but I know you enough to know that outbursts like that always have a meaning behind.”

     “I was just so frustrated.” Harry paused with a slight shake of his head as if to get rid of the memories he had made the day before. “Not at you, at myself. The deadline is so close, and I’ve not even got half of the songs ready. And then Jeff called you in to do my work.”

     He let out a breathy laugh, his hand only leaving yours to be raised over his head in exasperation. “I mean I’m supposed to be one of the top artists of my generation and I don’t even have the brain capacity to write enough decent songs to make an album. I was so embarrassed that my manager thought I needed a ghost writer, someone who’s work I would take credit for, to write my songs for me. And then to make matters worse you had this book full of these amazing songs and it just made me question where I stood in the music world. God I was so jealous.  And I know none of this excuses my hateful words, but I just needed you to know where they came from.”

     “Not any concealed hate I have for you and not because I genuinely thought your writing was shit. It was just ‘cause in that moment I was an insecure little boy who couldn’t handle someone being better than him.”

     “You absolute idiot!” you all but shouted causing his eyes to widen in shock, “First of all, you’re a jealous prick. I can’t believe you ripped into me so bad and embarrassed me in front of everyone because you couldn’t admit to yourself the fact that you needed help. Second of all you I don’t know if you’re aware, but you have an album full of amazingly written songs, something that you took a huge risk and then succeeded regardless. Third you know I don’t want to be known for anything until I’m ready, so enough with that taking credit bullshit and fourth thanks a lot for ruining my first writing experience with you I can’t even begin to tell you how long I was waiting for someone to ask me.”

     “Oh and fifth! I forgive you. But you better not pull that shit with me again. I can take criticism but only if its constructive and not used to attack me.”

     You mumbled in surprise as Harry’s arms wrapped around you pulling you in for a tight hug shivers running over your body from his whispers of what an amazing person you are against your neck.

      “Well are you ready now?” Harry smiled slyly pulling away from the hug, the almost-creepy look on his face starting to freak you out.

     “Ready for what?” You asked with caution, unsure of where Harry was taking the conversation.

      “Want you to help me write tha’ lovely song you showed me ‘nd I want you to be put down as the co-writer.” Harry beamed at you. “If you’re ready of course, just thought if you wanted maybe it’s time for the world to see how talented you are.”

     Your mind was reeling as you contemplated your answer, you knew that somewhere down the line you wanted to be recognised for the work that you did. You just had never decided when, but as you looked at the man sitting beside you, you finally reached your answer.

“I’d love to.”

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 4x07-- The Gang Discovers Who Killed Jeffrey Epstein

What a weird episode. 

This episode is something else. The writers REALLY overestimated how much the audience (or at least the fandom) liked the pee tape and Melania divorce episodes if they thought this was a good idea.

My recollection of those episodes is that because everything was fake-but-real, the stakes wound up feeling lower and I stopped caring, and when I’m not on board with the plot, the surreal shit and the whimsy feel more annoying than innovative. This episode might fare slightly better in my opinion than the other two because of its central device (more on that later) but it’s (somehow!!!) even more audacious and wild than the episodes that came before. Not my favorite look for the show. 

I DO like the tributes to musicians we’ve lost to COVID-19 that play over the credits.My one quibble is that they could’ve used a little card to inform viewers what’s going on and why. Last week I caught the artist in the captions but this week I missed it (or it wasn’t there), though I figured out pretty quickly it was John Prine.

Starting off an episode with Liz is always a good choice. 

Liz and Marissa are, for reasons we’ll discover later, in New York and investigating Jeffrey Epstein’s “suicide.” 

It drives me INSANE that Marissa consistently has the sound on her phone on. I think we’d know she was taking pictures without it. 

Liz’s old boss, Wilbur Dincon, has tasked Liz to independently investigate what happened. If this case goes well, RBL will get more business from the DOJ.

I’m sorry, did you just say “S-H-U” instead of pronouncing it like “shoe”? I mean, I’m an expert on prisons because I watched Orange is the New Black so I know it should be said like “shoe.” (tbh i have no idea if one is more correct than the other)

This case has lots of details but it’s really only the thematic points that matter, so I likely won’t discuss any plot points… just what they’re going for. 

Good to know Liz was ahead of the curve on knowing Epstein was a dangerous creep. 

Liz is promised she can investigate anyone she wants and think outside the box. Sure. I believe this as much as I believe Diane is in charge of pro-bono stuff because STR Laurie has great intentions.

“Synergy” is such a great bullshit word. Has everyone ever said it for a reason other than the following three: (1) To mock the word synergy (2) as a euphemism for cost-cutting measures that will fuck over employees (3) because they think it sounds professional and want to cover up the fact they don’t know what they’re talking about?

In this case, “synergy” means that RBL needs to cut their payroll by 20%. Fun times.

Diane and Adrian (Liz is downstairs) are not happy about this, even when Mr. Firth reminds them it’s more money for them. They’d rather have less money personally but happier employees since they’re not soulless.

Mr. Firth says they have to do the layoffs. But if it’s any consolation, they get to hand pick who to lay off!

The dogs are still being walked through RBL, in case it wasn’t clear enough that STRL sucks.

The whole firm gets to work on sorting through the Epstein evidence. Liz tries to keep things organized-- murder evidence on one side, suicide evidence on the other.

Associates, however, immediately begin interpreting the word “evidence” loosely. Is there a photo of Epstein with someone they’d like to suspect of murder? Then it’s “evidence of murder”. Ok, Leah. 

As expected, this immediately turns into bickering over politics. Sorry Liz-- it’s going to be tough to keep your staff on target with this one. 

“No! No conspiracy theories. No insane charges. Everything we do, we need evidence, so let’s start here.” Ah, if only everyone could think like Liz.

The room focuses on evidence for about two minutes. Then they find a way to make it about conspiracies again. Go team! 

Also everyone at RBL thinks they have better knowledge than professional medical examiners of the marks left on someone’s neck after they hang themselves. They also all believe that pretending to strangle themselves is the best way to prove their point. It’s a hilarious sight for Diane and Adrian to happen upon.

Adrian and Diane immediately start seeing their employees as numbers and imagining the cost savings of laying them off. Marissa is making $89,000 a year with three years of experience. Jay is making $89,000/year with eight years. Damn, that is so unfair to Jay. (I could see it if Marissa is more vocal about wanting higher pay or if they’re more concerned with losing her… but being vocal about money is probably closely related to Marissa’s privilege and there is zero evidence Marissa is any better, more efficient, or more hardworking than Jay!)  I can’t remember how this plot ended last year, but I thought Jay ended up making more than Marissa after he complained?

Adrian seems to see Jay as the more disposable of the investigators, which is quite sad, especially since from what we see, Marissa and Jay seem to be equally skilled. 

I wish we got to see the salaries, rather than just billable hours, of the other associates. But I’m glad they finally get last names! 

Kevin Walker has been at the firm 7 years and has 2643 billable hours.

Diane imagines the red X over Marissa. I can’t tell if the Xs are to demonstrate who they think they should cut or just to show deliberations. 

Lucca has been at the firm for 4 years and has 2788. Her title is “associate” but shouldn’t it be “Head of Family Law”? 

Leah Davis has been at the firm for 3 years and has 2657 billable hours.

Jancie Muncy has been at the firm 11 years with 2456 hours; Micah Carroll has been there 5 with 2582 hours. John Danzette with 6 years and 2074 hours; Rosalyn Brock with 4 years and 1991 hours (we learn later she was on medical leave for part of the year). Josh Withers with 11 years and 2162. Linda Keller with 2 years and 2389; Mike Roberts with 3 years and 2147. So what I’m getting is that Lucca has the most billable hours of everyone? 

I wish it told us their salaries. How much do the billable hours matter if we don’t know how much $ each hour is worth?

I really like this device. It’s a good way of showing how tough this decision is and how dehumanizing the process becomes. 

Adrian jumps into the conversation and tries to convince everyone Epstein’s suicide isn’t a conspiracy-- it’s just incompetence. Apparently he has a sink that breaks every week and no plumber can fix it because they are all incompetent. I understand this analogy-- no one does their job perfectly 100% of the time-- but I am really concerned about Adrian’s sink. This sounds like a bigger issue than incompetence.

“People do just enough work to get by,” is a very true statement though. I have often thought that it’s kind of incredible the world is as functional as it is. 

If you have 4 or 5 conveniently incompetent breakdowns at once, though, I’m not sure I believe it’s purely incompetence. Feels a bit convenient. 

Diane jumps in and makes a case for why the conspiracy is also likely. This strikes me as counterproductive since what REALLY needs to happen here is for the associates to dig through the evidence. Why not go back to Liz’s original system where they look through the evidence and see where it leads them? 

Lots of news footage and photographs in this one.

Diane’s larger point seems to tie back into Memo 618: “We all have to obey the law. I mean, if we’re told we have to check into with the police every 90 days, we do it. But certain people don’t have to. They’re given special treatment.” Diane claims this is America-- “a special fucking off-ramp for the well-connected.” 

Isn’t it possible both are true? That there’s a lot of incompetence and also systems in place that protect the rich and powerful? Also none of this is evidence!!! 

(I do like this scene for showing Adrian’s POV (cynical about human nature) vs Diane’s (fed up with the government and the treatment of the ultra wealthy). And the show can’t really dig into evidence they don’t actually possess. But evidence-free speeches don’t seem productive!)

Liz is like, okay then… and splits the room into three groups to look at evidence. I am glad Diane and Adrian helped her so much.

Liz is NOT happy about the layoffs when Diane and Adrian loop her in. She’s opposed to cutting anyone. Diane says she could lose Kevin, but Liz sees Kevin as someone newer employees look up to. Adrian suggests Lucy (who?) and Liz says that Lucy actually should get a raise. Diane points out this will look bad to the clients. All good points. This seems like an impossible decision.

Case stuff happens. Lucca knows a “hairdresser to the stars” through Bianca.

And now for some scenes where Diane and Julius try to report Memo 618 to the government and do the right thing! The Kings have said these were intended for episode 8, and while they don’t really feel that out of place since there’s clearly a thematic link between 618 and Epstein’s connections, this bit of info explains two things: (1) Why this ep is 53 minutes long when it feels like it could make its point in less time and (2) why the Julius stuff that happens later in the episode feels a bit anticlimactic because so much else is also happening. My guess is in an episode where it’s more of the focal point it would feel like a much bigger deal.

Do you ever just see a shot of Diane and think, “Damn, Taylor Swift does really look like a young Diane?” Because I do. All the time.

Lucca visits the famous hairdresser and he makes time for her right away. And he gives her a letter from Epstein that he (a) has in his possession and (b) has in an unlocked drawer in his salon. Whatever. 

Lucca convinces him to let her have it, and RBL makes a video to establish chain of custody. I’m shocked we’ve never seen them do this before.

“It is Thursday, May 21st, 2020” Liz says. Nah. You’re in an office. It is not. 

The envelope contains a key, a secret code, and a letter that says “If I’m dead, watch out for BUD”. Welp, there goes any hope of this not turning into RBL chasing conspiracies! 

Rumors about layoffs (40%! Just paralegals! Everyone!) have spread, in case there wasn’t enough chaos. 

The partners are indeed discussing who to fire, and they can’t decide on anyone. So they decide it’s time to get out from under STRL and buy themselves out. It’ll take 20 million, but they can pull that together. 

This would play better if we knew why they decided to sell to STRL in the first place. Who WOULDN’T have seen this coming? 

Liz tells Adrian not to make any promises he can’t keep and he is like, this is like our marriage. Diane is still in the room which is awkward and funny.

Marissa finds “BUD” on a blueprint. A clue! Meanwhile, Lucca and Jay (really, Jay) figure out the code. 

This is the portion of the episode where I can leave the show playing on my phone and go check Twitter instead of writing any commentary. 

Julius gets arrested for speaking out about Memo 618! It feels less impactful than it should when it’s sandwiched between a bunch of scenes following the conspiracy. (Also I am a little surprised they didn’t have Julius and Diane go to the press before the government.)

The conference room squabbles again and Liz asks, again, to tone down the conspiracy theories. They instead begin fighting about even more conspiracy theories.

Unless there’s another conference room scene later, I think this was the moment I understood what the Kings were doing and started to like the episode more. As soon as I realized “BUD” was a Citizen Kane reference, I burst out laughing. This episode plays way better when you know the point they’re trying to make is that this is a lot of fuss that will ultimately be futile (though Marissa and Jay DO come close to finding BUD) than when you’re supposed to be riveted by watching people debate fake evidence. 

Why does Eli Gold have a cheerleader friend? Who knows! Who cares! 

Adrian suggests that he, Diane, and Liz involve their own homes in the scheme to getting 20 million dollars. Liz objects since she’s a single mom-- very fair. Adrian argues that they’ve done well in the past so they’ll get it back. Liz and Diane attack that idea before I can-- if that were really true, they never would have sold to STRL. 

Liz mentions losing ChumHum and the fallout from her dad’s scandal and then says “let us not forget why we joined STRL in the first place.” I feel like that line would work better if the “let us not forget…” came before the “we lost ChumHum”. Because we don’t actually KNOW why they joined STRL. And, as I said in a previous recap, I can roll with it for the sake of plot, but I can’t take lines like “let us not forget why we joined STRL” seriously when there was LITERALLY NO ON SCREEN DELIBERATION about it. 

Adrian says STRL doesn’t value them, their employees, their history, or their culture. To which I say, DUH. Why would you think they did?  

The only important thing about this cheerleader is that she’s played by the amazing Donna Lynne Champlin. Kind of sad she’s in this silly, non-recurring role. She’s so good. (Also she was totally on TGW playing a different role, shhhh). (Go watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, everyone!)

CONSPIRACY THEORIES! It’s another conference room scene. Maybe this is where I realized it was a Citizen Kane reference? But I think it was the earlier one.

Hey, it’s another Julius scene. Watching these and knowing they were meant for a different episode, I can’t help but notice that they do feel like pieces of the A plot of a different episode. The whole system is rigged, Julius and Diane realize.

Adrian, Liz, and Diane tell Mr. Firth they want out. Mr. Firth tells them they need to cobble together an impossible 80 million, not 20 million, because not all of the partners have been bringing in more revenue more than they used to. You see, Diane hasn’t been bringing in any money because she’s been in charge of the pro bono department. Ah.There’s the catch. 

I’m shocked they went up to Mr. Firth without reading every inch of that contract. Aren’t you guys partners at a law firm? I’m shocked Diane went ahead with taking charge of pro bono without looking for a catch. This sucks for the character and all, but how are these name partners at a liberal firm that’s seen more than its fair share of drama this naive about big corporations!? This plot twist is devastating… until I start to think about all the things they had to believe to get to this point. 

Still, it’s satisfying to hear Diane hiss “you fucker!” at Mr. Firth. 

Mr. Firth turns into a villain quite nicely. I wonder if we’ll see more of him next year. My guess is the remaining three episodes were going to tie together the corporate overlords plot and Memo 618 and wrap everything up more or less with a bow so they could do a new concept next year. I feel like they’ll either move on completely and tell us what happened, or do an episode like 2x02 (the one that wraps up all the Maia/Rindell Fund stuff in one go so it doesn’t hang over s2).

Dincon drops by unexpectedly and isn’t impressed with what Liz and the team have done, since all they’ve done is collect conspiracy theories (and possibly travel all over the country? Jay and Marissa go to the Virgin Islands; it is unclear if the architect and key maker and lawyer and everyone else were in Chicago…

In Dincon’s defense these conspiracy theories sound like complete nonsense. 

Dincon shuts the RBL team down, but Marissa and Jay are still off adventuring.

Diane asks Dincon what Memo 618 is because Epstein’s life was built on it. “Then you have your answer,” Dincon replies. This scene is another tell that those Julius scenes weren’t meant for 4x07. 

Aaaaand now we get the direct parallels to Citizen Kane, with some shot-for-shot remakes and even a sled (ha!).

There’s a secret door! Marissa and Jay are excited to investigate! Marissa references Parasite, which I haven’t seen yet because I’m awful at watching movies.

Marissa and Jay find nothing and leave. “I think we lost track of the real story: the underage girls,” Marissa realizes. Yup. That is the takeaway. Looking at all these conspiracies is fun but useless, and the most important truth has already been uncovered. 

After Marissa and Jay leave, we get to see what was in the secret room… BUD is Epstein’s penis. And… that’s a wrap on season 4? What a fucking weird way to end a season. 

[terresdebrume]

Papa Mousesack - Snippet 10

Other snippets: In the tag

Note: This is dedicated to the anon who asked if we could have Mousesack giving Jaskier a head kiss and/or ruffling his hair: now we have both! Enjoy the birthday party :)

Ping list: @theheirofashandfire @nyliekeo @flatlineghost @haselover @weresehlat  (Again, please lmk if you want off, or on, the ping

In retrospect, Mousesack should probably have gotten a little suspicious when Jaskier started spending more time than usual outside of the bar. It’s not that he monitors the kid or anything, but he doesn’t exactly do all that much outside of his job at the local flower shop and window-shopping with Essi yet, so it’s easy to notice when he starts being absent more often. Still, Mousesack assumed Jaskier was making new friends and left him be, confident he’d hear about these new people in time. Besides, they’d already made plans for celebrations: just a quiet lunch with Eist, Jaskier, Essi, Calanthe and Pavetta on the actual day of his birthday at his favorite restaurant where they make a killer carrot cake, and then an early night because Priscilla volunteered to take his shift for the occasion.

All in all, he can probably be forgiven for not realizing right away on Saturday evening either. It’s often crowded in there, and there’s a problem with the fridge that forces him to stay on all four in the kitchen for a ridiculous amount of time. Sure, Tissaia coming in is unusual but it’s not entirely unheard of either; and it makes sense that Istredd, on a break from his studies abroad in Nazair, would want a chance to catch up with friends. Overall, Mousesack doesn't realize there's mischief afoot until Vesemir walks into the door and Jaskier, already in full Frank N. Furter getup, hurries to usher him back outside, Essi running after them in half a Columbia costume. Both Jaskier and Essi are dramatic things that usually insist on "preserving the magic" until they find someone attractive enough to question their positions—the artistic ones that is—so it’s impossible not to raise an eyebrow when they both decide to toss that out the window at the same time.

He’s pondering the possibilities when Eist makes his own hurried entrance with Calanthe in tow, which has the merit of making Mousesack almost choke on his saliva. Calanthe is…fairly equal to herself, all things considered. She criticizes just about every aspect of the bar and the patrons save their actual sexualities, but she does acknowledge that there is something, quote, “pleasantly wild” about watching Essi, Jaskier and the rest of the cast reenact The Rocky Horror Picture Show in front of a muted screen.

“That’s not traditional by the way,” Eist says right before the start of the bedroom scene, he and Calanthe pressed together at the far end of the bar while Mousesack makes drinks for what feels like half of Cintra. “Usually people lip-sync to the movie, but some assholes came in to cut the sound last month, and the boy just…kept going.”

“I’m pretty sure he also helped the others with their lines,” Mousesack says, incapable of not smiling at the memory.

There wasn’t that much he needed to help them with: most of the cast members have been doing rocky every month à Mouse’s for upwards of three years, but not being prepared for it plays hell on someone’s nerves and Jaskier somehow single-handedly managed to make it so there was barely even a hitch in that particular performance. It wasn’t the first time he surprised them that way, but certainly the most noticeable, and more than one person came to congratulate Mousesack about his new actor afterwards.

“That was a fun night,” Eist agrees with a chuckle. “I like the energy of it.”

Calanthe looks up to the stage, where Jaskier is pretending to pressure Marcos into sex with a lot of flailing limbs, and shrugs with a snort.

“It’s certainly irreverent, to say the least.”

“You do the lecture?” Eist asks as he takes his drink from Mousesack, “or should I do the honor?”

“Please feel free,” Mousesack says, and turns to the next customer.

It’s not that he can’t give the lecture about Rocky and what it meant to him and the rest of his queer friends when it first came out, but Eist is just as attached to the thing and tends to have more of an impact on people by virtue of being cis, straight, and enough of a rich jock that most people don’t think of questioning his words. It’s just more efficient to let him do it, especially where Calanthe is concerned.

Mousesack leaves them to it, busying himself with serving the few stragglers who don’t sit back down for the rest of the movie, and doesn’t pay attention to what’s happening onstage until the paper-mâché radio tower has been lowered on stage and Jaskier sings:

“Give yourself over to being a year older

Swim the warm waters of middle-agedness

Family drama beyond any measure

And a bunch of friends to treasure forever

Can’t your just see it. Whoa ho ho !

Don’t dream it, be it

Don’t dream it, do it

Don’t dream it, just sing it!”

There’s an explosive noise as the glitter normally reserved for the bi-monthly drag shows flows from the ceiling, and then everyone in the bar bursts into a terribly out-of-tune rendition of “Happy Birthday”.

“Oh, fuck you all,” Mousesack mumbles, making some of the people closest to him laugh.

Then he has to put a hand on his mouth to keep himself from making a more embarrassing sound. Everyone is smiling, and singing, and clapping—there’s a couple of wolf whistle even—and it’s extravagant and over the top and unnecessary, but that doesn’t mean it’s not making Mousesack’s heart ready to burst anyway. There’s a commotion to his left, a few surprised shouts, and before he knows it Mousesack’s feet are off the ground, Eist’s arms around his waist and his mouth on his cheek in a ridiculous smooch.

“No crying!” Eist yells over the crowd finishing the last verse, “you’ll ruin your eyeliner!”

“Oh, shut up!” Mousesack retorts, twisting as he’s lowered to the ground so he can return Eist’s embrace properly.

He stays in his friend’s arms longer than he normally does, hiding his face in his shoulder just long enough for the worst of the tears to pass—and also to make sure he’ll get a lovely gold stain on his jumper—before he plants a loud kiss on Eist’s cheek.

“Thank you,” he manages, defeaned to the still ongoing applause, but Eist shakes his head.

“Don’t thank me too much, your kid’s the one who did most of the organizing.”

Mousesack follows Eist’s nod only to find Jaskier slipping behind the bar. He’s got just enough time to twist away from Eist and open his arms before Jaskier is pressing his face full of makeup into his t-shirt, arms wound tight around Mousesack’s chest. Mousesack replies in kind, hugging Jaskier until he’s surprised the kid can even breathe.

“Do you like it?” Jaskier asks, face still hidden away in an uncharacteristic bout of shyness.

“I love it,” Mousesack says, pausing to pull his tongue out at the few jokester aw-ing around them. Then, because the crowd looks like it’s expecting something like that, he repeats, louder: “I love it! Thank you so much, everyone, for coming together to celebrate this old coot! I mean, not to ruin the mood but it’s always nice to be reminded I’m not going to be alone for the rest of my days.”

He nods towards the door with his paintend flags, and pauses while the crowd cheers, Eist coming up behind him to hug his shoulders, one hand reaching around Mousesack to mess with Jaskier’s hair. Mousesack laughs.

“Seriously though, thank you all for being here, thank to this old fart—” (“Fuck you!” Eist yells in his ears without moving away from him.) “—for staying around for the past thirty-two years, and thanks to Jaskier for being the best son I could have wished for.”

“Shut up!” Jaskier pipes up, muffled, from where he’s still hiding against Mousesack’s chest. His voice sounds heavy and strangled, and so it’s no surprise when he adds: “I’m already crying!”

Mousesack laughs again, throat just as thick with emotion, and bends to kiss the top of Jaskier’s head. He’s not done crying by far, but he does manage to keep in in long enough for Vesemir and Priscilla to bring the giant cake up to the bard, and then blow nearly all the candles in one go.

No one but Eist makes fun of him for it, which is about as good as he’d have hoped for, and Jaskier ends up blowing the two that are left. Then, after they’ve posed for a couple of pictures and started handing slices around, Mousesack yells:

“Alright everyone, back to partying now, I’ll be making the rounds when I’m less of an emotional mess!”

There’s a chorus of laughter but the crowd complies, and Mousesack only waves at Tissaia before he turns back to Eist and Jaskier. He’s trying to figure out how to say “thank you” again without growing repetitive, but before he can start Jaskier asks:

“You really like it?”

“Yes,” Mousesack promises, ruffling Jaskier’s hair. “It’s awesome—but we are still going for dinner on Tuesday.”

“Of course!” Jaskier replies.

Mousesack grins, and doesn’t protest when Eist and Jaskier move in to kiss his cheeks at the same time.

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

16, 22 and 53? ^^

OMG MY FIRST ASK OMG! THANK YOU!

[sorry if this took too long to reply to, you see, Tumblr SUDDENLY refreshed and half of what I typed went POOF! and had to retype it again. Plus, had to stop typing for a bit because my Mom dragged me out of my room and made me pay for the Hawaiian Pizza!]

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Yep, a whole lot of times actually! Especially in campus. And in class. Had a lot of moments where I didn't tell someone about their disgusting attitude and preferred to avoid them over the years. I switch schools almost every year because of my parent's work, and believe me, they are everywhere, those lil shits I wanna roast but chose not to because I needed to keep a clean record for my mother, who is a teacher.

22. Description of your crush

Hm, if you meant,like a human crush then no. I don't have any. It's physically and emotionally exhausting so nope. I gave up years ago.

The last time I did have one, well, they were a role model of mine. Smart, tall, outgoing and two years older than me. I was smitten, but not in the sexual or romantic way. I just wanted to hug them so much! Or hold hands and just talk about things and get to know each other. I am demisexual btw, [I though I was asexual at first but I was confused because I still have a high libido but its not dierected towards anyone, I also enjoy smut content, but then I found out about more specifications under asexual flag and thats where I found the demiseuxal flag!] But oh, it all changed when I accidentally found out how disgusting they were. They INSULTED my adviser and science professor and her family? Oh no, NO. I will absolutely not tolerate disrespect and insults towards a good person! Even good persons have their flaws and imperfections!

On the other hand, if it's not human, then

I ABSOLUTELY HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON MICHELANGELO

LIKE YO??? HE BABY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! HE DESERVES EVERY OUNCE OF LOVE THIS UNIVERSE WOULD OFFER! PRECIOUS BOI IS SO UNDERAPPRECIATED IN THE FANDOM! I WILL F*CKING LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR HIM. I WILL STRANGLE ANYONE WHO WILL HURT THIS BOI. THIS TEETLE.

Also, HE ARTIST??? HELL YEAH! I would absolutely love to spend time with him and make art! I would love to hear his advice and opinions on my artworks and me to his too! Talking is not my forte and I'm an anxious smol bean but I will open up when the right buttons are pushed! I will babble, a lot. Playing videogames and eating pizza? Chilling around and talking about life and random things that just comes up so suddenly in our mind? Bring. It. On.

I also love orcs! Himbo orcs, Traditional orcs, Intimidating but gentle orcs? Shy orcs? You name it! The world stereotypes orcs as monsters with no control and are beasts and act like wild animals, but THEY ARE WRONG. Orcs have suprisingly great personal hygiene! They love to clean their tusks and hair! They pride themselves with it. They aren't ashamed of their scars, but instead brandish them with pride! I love them!❤✨✨❤✨

I actually love all non human beings, being a teratophile and all or whatever you call it so yeah!

53. 5 things that make me happy

Ooh lala this is gonna be fun! Btw I won't rank them, I'm just gonna list five things that make me happy!

1. Making art and hoarding art materials

I really really really love making art! It's both relaxing and calming for me to do. Especially after an argument, or when I need to chill after finishing school papers and modules. I ain't a professional artist though, and I don't like expectations from other people of what they want me to do. I only accept expectations from myself, and it's up to me to meet those expectations or not.

I feel satisfied when I finish an artwork, no matter how small or big it is. After I'm done, I would think about how I did it and usually forget the process and what my hands were doing [Instincts and muscle memory kicking in] so I try to take pictures during the process. I would feel proud of myself and sleep well.

Love the fact that as an artist, there will always be room for improvement. To grow and be better than the yesterday you.

Still kinda shy with posting my art here

2. Talking with Sophy @crackinanutshell

She is an ABSOLUTE GODDESS! I love her so much and how she is very open and understanding when I talk to her about my problems or random things like some funny thing I saw in Tumblr or in the internet today! She is currently busy this week, it being exam week, so she won't see this, yet. I won't make this long because I know I won't be able to finish this ask if I keep going lmao!

Side note: She hasn't watched TMNT her WHOLE LIFE! And I'm gonna change that next week when she's done with her exams and their start of Christmas break! We're making a watch party and I will absolutely scream with her, watching two tmnt bayverse movies in one go

3. MICHELANGELO

You may or may not know how much I love this babie, so I'm gonna say it again:

I LOVE HIM SO F*CKING MUCH

4. FOOD

I'm a simple person, give me food and I'm gonna be so happy. Who doesn't get happy with free food???

5. MUSIC

Listening to it, dancing, and singing to it, makes me happy af.

Without music, I'll simply be breathing and not dying in this world.

Thank you so much for the asks! I really love them!

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Bubble Shit (The Borderlands Series, Part 9.)

Series description: Not many people had the chance to see a vault or to mean anything in the world of Pandora. Will a hardly built relationship in the loneliness of the desert would have the potential to change anything in the world of anarchy and chaos - or will the friends try to murder each other?

Part Summary: Along with landing on Eden-6, you actually had to go through the plan to know how many people you recruted and how much of a chance you might stand.

Warnings: A lot of guns, violence, reader is a tough badass - not a vault hunter tho. They’re badass and don’t give a fuck. And Scooter is a dumb bitch, as always.

Word count: 2 K

Tagging: @notaliteraltoad​ @mayacaroni​ (maybe you’ll like the series and you’ll stick around, I just thought you might wanna get notified!)

Series master list:  H E R E

In every meaning of the phrase, it was sir Hammerlock to the rescue. It also turned out that sir Hammerlock was the one who Scooter had contacted and the one who was willing to go with you on the suicidal mission along with his lifetime partner, Wainwright Jakobs - who turned out to run the whole Jakobs company alter. Which was exciting you - you were just too furious to show any emotion.

"Thank for savin' our asses back there. I couldn't exactly handle the landin'." - Janey smiled at the duo driving the car while the rest of you sat in the trunk pressed on each other. It was rather uncomfortable for everyone, but everyone shut up so you wouldn't start another conflict.

"No problem, miss Springs. Wainwright and I knew about your planned arrival and as soon as you weren't on the spot on time, we knew something went wrong. Excuse us for arriving as late as we did, it wasn't the simplest task to find you in here." - Sir Hammerlock answered nonchalantly and you looked at that dude with a furrow. It wasn't that you hated him, but you were too angry to even say thank you. Scooter was pressed up to your side and you tried to scoop away to Rayray's side without a stroke of luck. That gross son of a bitch was just pressed to you and you could say that it makes him extremely happy.

"No problem, Hammylock! How had ya been? Ages since I saw ya for the last time!" - Scooter yelled directly to your ear and you were just ready to strangle him to death when the nearest chance comes by. That guy was just a pain in your ass.

"It was rather difficult, Scooter if I might say. I had a hard time accommodating here on Eden-6, but the fauna gives me much more choices than the Pandora's did!" - Hammerlock's big, rosy lips curled into a happy smile and you almost melted under the look he gave to Wainwright. These men were in love, there was no doubt about it. And you were with love at their idea of love.

"I have a new girlfriend, see?!" - Scooter yelled all over the car and suddenly, you two were the main interest of everyone. You were his what? He said what? Your patience was wearing thin and Scooter seemed to just make himself sure he'll piss you off as soon as he can. - "Ya have a similar arm, that's super cool!" - Athena was just as confused as you were along with everyone else in the car. Exactly since when you became his girlfriend? Did you miss that? Was he assuming this based on the fact you two held hands for about ten minutes? Was Scooter actually five? You moaned in distress and bit your lip.

"I see. Nice to meet you, miss! My friend's friends are my friends!" - Hammerlock turned at you with a smile and offered you a handshake. He had the metallic hand on the same side as you did - on his left. - "By any chance, are you two distantly related?" - Hammerlock asked with a furrowed face and you almost choked at the question once again.

"I haven't met this dude until two weeks ago. We're not even friends." - You yelled back at Hammerlock and he raised his eyebrows in wonder.

"I see, miss!" - He answered after a short while. - " You're stepping up your game, Scooter." - Hammerlock told the man beside you with a wink, whatever that meant. The rest of your way was almost awkwardly quiet since anyone knew why the hell Scooter would say that you two are in fact in a relationship. That dude seemed to be an actual five-year-old not having only severe brain damage, but showing a case of schizophrenia with seeing and feeling things that weren't based in reality at fucking all.

"This is some bubble shit." - You muttered out when you were getting off of Wainwright's car and almost hissed at when Scooter offered you his palm. No. Last time you held his hand, because you were scared to death, he figured out that you're dating.

But the amazement over Wainwright Jakobs' mansion was something that made you forget about everything as you tried to look at the house. Is was huge. Like fucking huge. You heard stories about this house being the foundation for every Jakobs rifle, revolver, shotgun, and stuff like that ever made. You loved to use the guns since you found yourself on Pandora’s surface, so this was like a beautiful dream.

"Are you shitting me?" - You looked at Athena and she gave an unknowing look back. - "This is the goddamn Jakobs mansion. Every Pandorian cowboy’s dream." - You whispered.

"That's true, miss. It's always nice to meet someone whos interest in my family's business... In a good way. And may I say, I haven't seen this shotgun for a long time." - Wainwright took the shotgun from your back and he skillfully flipped it between his fingers. - "I think that we don't make these for more than fifteen years. A true ancient one." - He put it back on your back.

"You-you’re... That Jakobs? Like that gunman Jakobs?" - You stuttered out, following him inside as Hammerlock offered everyone food and something to drink before a long meeting you were scheduled to have.  

"As far as I am concerned, I think I am. I can show you some of my wares and maybe give you a good-luck gun, how does that sound?" - Wainwright smiled at both you and Athena entering the meeting hall by his side. You almost suffocated. That Jakobs was willing to give you one of his guns as a gift? This adventure was slowly looking better and better.

"You won't be going with us?" - Athena asked when she saw you being on the verge of screaming, laughing, crying, smiling, and freaking out.

"No, unfortunately, I have a family business I have to keep my eyes on, but Hammy will be accompanying your little party. He already contacted a lot of people, so you don't have to be alarmed, ladies." - The man smiled, yet you barely got a word from what he said. You were still drooling and having heart-eyes because of the offer you got. A Jakobs’ gun will be given to you as a good-luck gift. Oh, dear Buttstalion, this was your best day.

It was kinda funny seeing Rayray and Blindy not being accustomed to such a luxury - any member of your party was, but in fact, you at least were living like normal people. These bandits were living in Ham’s Creek, one of the creepiest looking assholes you've ever had seen. Hammerlock offered you plates of fresh vegetables and fruits, which almost made you cry since it felt like centuries since you saw normal food for the last time. All you were eating on Pandora was Skag bacon and home-made bread, sometimes you didn't eat at all and drank vodka only. And they even had some normal water and juice. That house was heaven and you didn't want to leave. Ever.

"Now that we’re in safety and everyone's here, we might go through the plan Scooter and I had put together, shall we?"  - Sir Hammerlock smiled at everyone and adjusted the monocle with the broken glass he wore.

"We know that the distress call - if you wanna call it like that, came from Athenas. For those who might not know, this place was and is inhabited by sirens. So we knew that Maya is there possibly, which is why I didn't contact her for our cause - I'm sure she already knows what's heading their way." - He told you and suddenly, pictures of Athenas’ landscape appeared everywhere around you. It was a beautiful place - which you hummed to Athena while stuffing your face with slices of carrot.

"I tried my best with calling Brick, just as you said, Scooter, but he is off to his own business, I guess. Unfortunately, he won't be able to reach us. However, mister Mordecai had answered my call and he has only one condition - nothing shall happen to his new pet friend on our adventure." - Hammerlock smiled and when you saw pictures of these men, your breath got stuck for a moment. Youve only heard stories about Vault Hunters, since you were a child. But these men looked dangerous and unpleasant, especially Mordecai with his bottle of alcohol, just... Just like you were looking all the fucking time.

"I contacted miss Tina next, and I am courageous enough to say that she is more than thrilled to accompany us on our journey since she was screaming something including the world's bomb, mothersuckaz, and blowing up." - Another picture was showed to you and holy fucking christ, that girl looked insane. And that wasn’t meant to be a compliment. She looked nuts.

"Next on the list was mister Zer0, Marcus and Torgue, miss Gaige, mister Krieg, and mister Axton yet neither of them answered the call. And... The last one came to volunteer herself. This young lady’s name is Fiona and according to her words, she is a con-artist of sorts, as far as I was able to understand." - Hammerlock looked at Scooter. His eyes opened up and you didn't know what on Earth should be your response. You didn't know anyone from the names you've just heard.

"Naturally, I thought about the route we will have to take and to calm miss..." - He pointed your way since he hadn't even know your name. - "We won't be taking a flight by a rocket since our Fast Travel system is working just fine. We shall take a small detour to... Uh... Boom Town as it is called, to pick up Tina and mister Mordecai. Miss Fiona told me that she will meet us in Athenas. In my opinion, ten people, especially as dangerous as miss Tina, are enough to make a difference on the battlefield." - Hammerlock told each of you honestly. That sounded like a plan that someone thought about.

"And the attack, Hammerlock? How do we plan to do that?" - Athena next to you asked. Hammerlock nodded and pointed his finger at her, showing you other landscapes from Athenas.

"You had to notice that this terrain isn't exactly the most pleasant to have the surprise factor on our side. We talked with Scooter about this." - Hammerlock nodded and Scooter stood up.

"Janey and Pickle were using a thingy called Stingray on Elphis and I tell ya, man, that thingy is cool as hell. So, I thought about playin’ with the engine and gravity sensors a bit, makin’ it fly much higher than before! And we might need a machine to, ya know, even make us the damn car on that planet since I don't think it's connected to the network." - Scooter told Athena, and it could be heard that he's an expert in this area, and Janey jumped into the conversation with her engineering and mechanic talents.

"In that case, we have to do somethin’ about the core and the coverin’, mate, because I'm worried that this will be our biggest problem. Elphis didn't have atmosphere and Athenas do." - She said seriously and you looked at Wainwright with your heart-eyes again. Scooter nodded and both of them left the room to work on the machinery. Everything seemed to be too real for you. Just too real.