#waffles with izzy

[izzystradlindoesitforme]

Nothing would be more satisfying than eating a hot, fresh, gourmet Belgian waffle while getting the mind-numbing, thigh-shaking, convulsions-inducing, magnitude 8.9, world-famous, five-star Izzy Stradlin 'treatment'.

Except if the waffle had blueberry compote and whipped cream. And Izzy was feeding it to me at same time.

Reblog if you like waffles or if you want your 80s rock star crush to fuck you into next week

[hyperfixationspam]

i want more modern aus where ed's job is something normal but izzy is the same amount of intense about it. "edward you cant quit your job at the mcdonalds dont you understand this is what you were meant for"

[alphacygni]

Con is not immune to Edizzy waffle either

[devinwolfi]

wee woo

i am barricading myself emotionally and mentally in preparation for the absolute unabashed unwellness i will see from the otherwise mostly tolerable people i follow

[incorrectbatfam]

batfam members being the smartest and dumbest person in the room at the same time

Damian: Here's the plan: we wait for your mother to put the pie on the windowsill to cool. Then, I'll spoof a call to her work phone in order to draw her away. That's when you come in and take it. Are we clear?

Jon: *walks up to Lois*

Jon: Mom, can Damian and I have a piece of pie?

Lois: Of course, here you go.

———————

Cullen: I tripped over my shoelaces again.

Harper: I can make self-tying shoelaces that can only come apart when you use a password-protected app.

Cullen: ...I was just thinking of wearing velcro.

———————

Duke: Check out my project! Not to brag, but I think I know who's winning the science fair.

Izzy: What is it?

Duke: It's a chamber that excites nanoparticles to generate short-term high-intensity thermal energy that can alter organic matter to make them suitable for human consumption. What do you think?

Izzy: Funny, I have one at home. Only I call it a microwave.

———————

Dinah and Babs: *talking*

Dinah: One sec, I'm getting a call.

Dinah: *answers her phone*

Dinah, immediately hanging up: Never mind.

Barbara: Was your number leaked? I have a list of possible suspects and plans for dealing with each one.

Dinah: Relax, it was just spam.

———————

Bernard, with a mic: Welcome back to MasterChef: Young Justice. We're down to our finalists, Red Robin and Spoiler. Let's see what they brought us today.

Tim: I made a nutrient-dense mass-conserving meal replacement with all essential components compressed in a gelatinous cube for a quick, on-the-go meal during our off-world missions. I'm serving it with a protein shake served in a vacuum-sealed pouch made completely out of recycled materials.

Steph: I made authentic Belgian waffles using techniques dating back to the 1958 Brussels World Fair. I'm serving it with a warm Swiss chocolate ganache, Japanese white strawberries, and homemade ube powdered sugar. For a drink, we have a cappuccino made with fair-trade Colombian dark roast beans and milk sourced from local farmers.

Kon, Bart, and Cassie: *taste and discuss*

Kon: You're both eliminated.

Tim and Steph: What?!

Cassie: Red Robin, the point of this competition is to showcase taste and culinary artistry, not just your engineering skills.

Bart: And Spoiler, you were supposed to make soup.

———————

Cass: *sneaks out her room*

Cass: *rolls down the hall*

Cass: *jumps over the couch*

Cass: *crawls through the vents*

Cass: *climbs down the rafters*

Cass: *slides down a gas pipe into the Batcave*

Cass: *lands in front of the door*

———————

Dick: I'll infiltrate the Iceberg Lounge with my state-of-the-art wearable camouflage that uses reverse psychology to throw all suspicions off of me by catching people's attention in a completely different way.

Jason: Pfft, lame. You should check out my latest tech. It's a potassium nitrate–based mixture that can be activated with a built-in timer to both create a diversion and incapacitate more of the Penguin's cronies at once.

Dick: That's stupid. We need to be subtle.

Jason: No, what we need is efficiency.

Dick: Roy, what do you think?

Roy, looking up from his phone: I think one of you wants to dress in drag and the other made a bomb.

———————

Bruce: I need the kids to steer clear of Crime Alley tonight so I can deal with a situation but I don't want to bench them because then they'll be mad at me. Any ideas?

Alfred: Give them paperwork.

Selina: Send them on a wild goose chase.

Kate: Get them to bench themselves.

Renee: Wow.

Renee: You all suck.

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Christmas Hats and Magnets » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

December 7th

Pairings: Husband/Dad!Bucky Barnes x Wife/Mom!Reader with daughter Isabella and Alpine

Summary: Bucky’s and Y/N’s 4 year old daughter gives Christmas hats to her parents and puts magnets on her daddy’s metal arm.

Warnings: Fluff, language, nothing but cuteness, hugs and kisses, cuddling, nicknames for daughter (princess, baby girl), pet names for reader (doll)

Thank you to @buckys-wintersoldier for this adorable Christmas idea!❤️💚

Written on my phone so sorry if there’s any mistakes or typos.

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators.

❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️

“Mommy! Daddy! Wake up! It’s Christmas time!” Isabella says excitedly, jumping up and down on yours and Bucky’s bed.

You opened your eyes to see Isabella wearing a Santa hat. You sat up and pulled her on your lap and gave her kisses.

“Daddy’s still sleeping. We need to be quiet.” You whisper.

“Daddy sleeping.” She whispers back.

You carefully got out of bed with Isabella in your arms so you guys didn’t wake up Bucky. You took Izzy to the living room so she can watch TV and play while you made breakfast.

“Do you want pancakes or waffles?” You asked her.

“Waffles please!” Isabella says politely with a smile.

“Good choice!” You smiled.

You went to the kitchen and got everything you needed to make breakfast. A few minutes later, you felt a little hand tugging your -Bucky’s- shirt. You looked down to see Isabella looking up at you.

“Can I have a juice box please?” She asks.

“Of course, baby girl.” You walked to the fridge and opened it. “What flavor do you want? Apple, Orange, or Fruit Punch?” You asked.

“Fruit Punch.” She says.

You grabbed a Fruit Punch juice box, opening it for her and gave it to her.

“Thank you, mommy!” Isabella says, taking it from your hand.

“You’re welcome. Try not to spill it.” You say.

Isabella nodded and went back to the living room to play and watch TV. Another few minutes go by when Izzy comes back in the kitchen.

“Do you need something else, baby girl?” You asked her.

“No. I have something for you!” Isabella hands you a Santa hat. “I have one for daddy too and I put one on Alpine!” She tells you.

You smiled, taking it from her hand and put it on.

“Now we’re twins!” She says, clapping her little hands before running back to the living room.

You went back to making breakfast. A little bit later, you went in the living room to get Isabella for breakfast, but you didn’t see her in there. You assumed she went to her bedroom for something or to play. You went upstairs and poked your head in her bedroom. You furrowed your eyebrows when you didn’t see her in there. That’s when you heard little giggles coming from yours and Bucky’s bedroom. You walked down the hallway to the bedroom to see Isabella sitting next to her sleeping daddy and putting Christmas magnets on his metal arm. You bit your bottom lip to keep yourself from laughing. Bucky’s eyes fluttered opened when he heard giggling. He seen Isabella sitting next to him, continuing to put magnets on his metal arm.

“What are you doing, princess?” Bucky asks, rubbing his eyes.

“Making your arm look Christmasy!” She says.

Bucky lifted his metal arm to see a variety of different Christmas magnets on it.

“I also have this for you!” She says, handing him a Santa hat.

“Thank you, princess.” Bucky smiles and put it on.

“Me and Alpine have one too!” Isabella pointed at Alpine who was sleeping on her cat tree. “Mommy does too!” She says, pointed at you.

“All three of you look beautiful with them on.” He says, kissing her forehead.

You smiled and walked towards the bed and got on it.

“Good morning, Mr. Claus.” You kissed Bucky’s lips.

“Good morning, Mrs. Claus.” Bucky kisses you back.

“Hey!” Isabella shouted, getting yours and Bucky’s attention. “I’m still here!” She pouted, crossing her little arms over her chest.

Bucky grabbed her and put her on his lap. You and Bucky attacked her with kisses and tickles causing her to let out squeals and giggles.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough. Let’s go downstairs and eat breakfast before it gets cold.” You say.

“Mommy made waffles!” Isabella gets off of her daddy’s lap and carefully got off the bed. “Hurry up before I eat them all!” She shouts on her way out of the bedroom.

Bucky got out of bed and ran up behind her, picking her up causing her to squeal and giggle again. You followed them to the kitchen. You pour two cups of coffee, one for you and one for Bucky. You went to the dining room and gave Bucky his coffee and Isabella her breakfast. You went back to the kitchen for yours and Bucky breakfast and went back to the dining room. You took a seat next to Bucky.

“This looks delicious, doll.” Bucky compliments making you smile.

“Thank you, Buck.” You kissed his stubbly cheek.

Bucky turned his head to capture your lips in a kiss making you smile against his lips.

“No kissing! I’m trying to eat my waffles!” Isabella shouts making you and Bucky laugh at her cuteness.

❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️

-Bucky’s Doll

[dreamyzhou]

Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium

Pairing: College softie!Hyunjae x Eric's sister!reader

Genre: Contemporary college rom-com

Words: 4,8k

Warnings: Eric is your younger brother and he calls you Noona time to time, swear words, rats, Gen Z jokes, Kendrick and Drake drama, food (ice cream, barbecue, and rice), mentions of alcohol, you and Hyunjae are of same age, a lil suggestive in the end (??!!!), kissing [idek if some of these should be a warning, but i care if you get hurt by a fanfic i write, so imma just put it]

Inspired by: Hasan Minhaj (overall him as a comedian, artist, and a person), because he taught me how to be funnier than I was before all this.

Premise: When your brother, Eric, said he will sit in Chair 16 in Chemistry, he knew you were about to come early to pull it before he gets to sit. And when you did, you realized it was a set up.

Dedicated to Izzy @from-izzy who I kept reminding myself of when I wanted to give up on this fic.

1st fic of 31st Alternate Universe by Ellie unlocked by Hyunjae.

[7:59 A.M]

Three knocks. All it took was three knocks on your wooden bedroom door to be prepared and put up a sleeping act.

"Y/N, first day of college! Wake up!" A kick on your door and a hyperactive male voice with volume boosted with megaphone almost shattered your eardrums.

Tense muscles rose your spine. Then, you looked at the kid in front of you with his "I love LA" shirt. In all honesty, you weren't prepared for that one.

"That was creative, I'll give you that..." You took a portion of your blanket to wrap yourself a fluffy cocoon of cotton.

"Creative? Dude, that was genius. World record on actually making half of your body get up at the least! You know you need a permit to use these?"

You looked at him with the most judgemental eyes you ever gave to anyone.

"You got a permit... just to wake me up?"

"...No, my firefighter friend did. I just borrowed it from him!"

"What if he got into trouble for your misuse?!"

"Relax! The fact that he gave it to me is already a misconduct... Now, it's third week of October..."

"So?" You groaned as you went back to your dream shell. The sight of your laziness rolled Eric's eyes, he turned the megaphone's volume to the maximum.

"So! Get yo ass out of bed, She-Who-My-Grandma-Compares-Me-With! First person to get the bathroom, gets all the hot water!"

All the melatonin in your brain disappeared in a snap of Thanos' finger. Every muscle strand in you responded within 0.01 second as you ran to the bathroom. Eric pulled your elbow to the back, causing you to lose balance for awhile. You took a sandal lying around somewhere, then threw it to his head. Unfortunately for you, as the sandal was in the air, the blond-haired Jerry to your Tom closed the bathroom behind him.

"Ugh!"

"I win!"

"Bleh, bleh, bleh... Whatever!"

You turned around, walking to your bedroom. Trying to construct new activities you should be doing for your first day in third year of university, but... let's just say it takes energy to think. Your usual routine was one hour of waking up, half an hour of breakfast, and breakfast while running. It was a decent routine, but you needed to keep them in order. You recalled yesterday when you brought a hot waffle to the bathroom, you let it cool down as you showered, and by the time you're finished you ate it. It invited a married rat couple who had many babies.

Yesterday? Hold on—

There was a screech coming from the door that got hit by the sandal.

"Uh... Noona? You can have the shower first... I'm in the mood to be nice today!"

"No, a deal's a deal..." Letting out an intentional maniac laugh, you were glad you can just use the guest bathroom (which was never the option because for some peculiar reason, the water was never hot.

"Fuck you!"

[8:43 A.M]

You accompanied your brother to the room they needed him and the rest of the first-year students. There was a third-year student volunteering to help out the first-years with their orientations and such, and you told Eric he could always go to them. The clock indicated it was almost the time you both needed to go your own ways. He looked back at you, as if shy to say something then he entered the room that hadn't close its doors.

You knew this habit of your brother's that somehow helped managing his anxiety a bit. Looking at an older sister figure seemed to ease him as if everything will be alright as long as you were there. You never really got an explicit expression of how good you are of a sister, but it was never about you when it comes to Eric. It was just about the fact that you helped him no matter if it was just by being there for him.

"Hey, Eric?" He already took two steps in the room, but your call turned him around.

"Yeah?"

"You're still ten centimeters shorter in my eyes..." Eric laughed at the insult that he disliked the most, but only if other people said it.

"And you are still screaming Justin Bieber's Baby lyrics with your brush in my eyes."

He approached you and you two did the sibling handshake that you both never made a mistake in for years.

"Don't forget to drive a sister home at 2:30, okay?"

"Won't!"

[3:16 P.M]

Unlocking the flat you shared with your little brother with the cold keys, you sighed as you entered the place. Eric promised to take you home, but you just got off the taxi and paid what could be the price of a fast food meal. You sensed danger when you heard, what you made up as, two males talking... and laughing. You hoped it was Eric, but their voices weren't the high-pitched and hyperactive kind. They were talking about... Drake?

"Oh hi, Noo—" POW!

Whether it was your reflexes that didn't even let him finish the word that could have make you (and his forehead) feel at ease or the fact that Eric was just unwise to be behind you while you were in your flight-or-fight mode... nobody knows.

"What'd you do that for?!" He screeched as he held his forehead.

He went to the mirror near the door, one that he installed for "fashion" purposes.

"Look at this! I got a sole with a Nike logo printed on my head!"

You didn't really care about how much it hurt as he was speaking about it. You went to the living room at started your own lecture on how ditching on one's sister is not nice. You didn't even introduce yourself to the two guys who were looking at you, not knowing what to do.

"Like dude, where were you?! I texted you and called you, but apparently you were inviting two strangers to talk about that Hotline Bling dude! Also who invites a stranger home— did you forget that you were almost kidnapped because you didn't listen to Mom's stranger danger lecture—"

"Y/N, there is a pint of Cookies and Cream ice cream next to the ice cubes in the freeze—" You smiled instantly and ran excitedly to the freezer.

The two 'strangers' were left agape that it took you food to earn your silence.

"Hotline Bling dude is crazy..." One of the two guys with a chiseled face and thin lips, laughed as you approach them.

"Moon Kevin, right? Second-year student? Photography?" He nodded with a chill attitude.

"Yes, ma'am!"

The other boy with a face with racoon features took the remote and continued the fanmade lyric video from Youtube that they left paused as everybody sat with their snacks in hand.

As they exclaimed "Owww!" at the rap punchlines, you noticed how quick the three clicked. How they sounded like longtime best friends reunited. You shook your head at their silliness as you watched the video in silence. At least you were in peace knowing that Eric would be in fate's good hands.

[5:37 P.M. | Week 3]

Okay... maybe you spoke too soon. You were not in peace. Especially, since everyday they would come over to the flat. Something about the way Eric socializes decreased your social battery when you didn't even know who these kids were. Last week, Eric invited three more strangers to crash 'his' place, they were all your juniors! Not to mention, famous juniors! Not only that, they watched NBA games and F1 races at night, occupying your house like a public facility whenever they can.

You were in the couch, invited to watch along, but you kept your lips shut, since these boys were rowdy and you weren't into basketball. Right now, they were challenging themselves to watch the game with water in their mouth and whoever spit it out first had to pay all their part of the dinner your bank account.

Your phone indicated a message coming in with a vibrate.

Biological 'Buy 1 Get 1' : Y/N. Hyunjae said he wanted to come here, is that okay?

You turned your head to Eric, bewildered.

"You invited five people who I still struggle to name without warning and my knowledge, but... sure I guess!"

You went back to your meal and you swore you saw three Singapore fountains living.

"Oww! You see that, Reggie?"

"I see that!"

"You see that—"

"I see—"

"Beast dunk by the man, Lebron James! Y'all, Miami game night is getting really hot tonight! Take a look at that jump in your ESPN replay—"

"HOLY SHIT, I ALMOST DROWNED!"

"YOU SPAT FIRST!

You just knew the next thing they would do is to fight for no reason, and blame it all on Chanhee (He didn't even participate to the challenge, but Sunwoo would gaslight the guy to pay if Chanhee 'really loves' his friends. That kid really had to thank God, Chanhee really loves them and is an aristocrat's son).

As you reach for more popcorn, the electronic doorbell rang. Eric parkoured from where he sat to the door (a habit you learned he had whenever he's excited).

As he came back, he brought two bags with McDonald's logo.

"Delivery man?" Your brother laughed at squirell guy's question (you hoped his name was Changmin).

"Nope. The snack himself." There was another man behind him.

A soft-gazed guy with a tall fitted figure, broad shoulders and carefully-crafted cheekbones. Oh yeah, this snack needs a warning...

"Hyunjae in the house!"

You really tried your best not to stare too much that night.

[8:14 A.M | Week 4]

"I knew it!" You shut your locker door and saw your brother looking at you with excitement.

"What do you want?" He ignored your rolling eyes.

You walked to the end of the hallway, thinking that Eric was following you. Your feet halt as it detected loneliness by the lack of Eric shadowing behind. Turning around, eyebrows united... you dropped your neck a little, expressing the face of a person left hanging by an Eric, who was looking at you with a smirk and a knowing look.

"So?! What do you know?!"

He took a few steps to you, then he said.

"You know I'm good in chemistry, right?"

"You have 23 exes and you cried when each time you broke up. What do you mean?"

"NOT THAT KIND OF CHEMISTRY—"

"Ohhhh... right... Ms. Choi gave you an AP class for Chemistry back in high school when you blew up a project... Wouldn't that make you eligible to skip 2 years in Chemistry for your Bachelor's?" Eric clapped his hand together.

"Ditto! Now... The dean had let me skip two years as long as I've done two weeks of pre-requisites, so here I am, stuck with your second class of the day, I'll be in Chair 16!" He turned around and ran to the indoor field as he saw Younghoon, a fellow third-year who happened to be your math tutoring student.

"You left me hanging, again?!" You knew that pain in the ass could hear you from afar, but he pretended not to hear by closing his ears as he ran and disappeared.

"Fucking dickhead..."

You opened your phone which had your college schedule as its lock screen wallpaper. Second period will be with Professor Do in Chemistry.

[10:41 A.M]

Ever since the first week of the semester, the lab's door had a paper taped onto it, saying "Warning: harmful acid clean-up! No entry!" and a letter from the chancellor that, while the lab needed to go through some clean-up due to a very harsh acid spill accident, all students who wish to seek Chemistry credits need to go to the Classroom XI, a spare room unused, to attend lecture.

You were in the room approaching the front rows. It was a strategy to record professors lectures better and also to keep yourself visible when your professors take attendance. The memory of raising your hand and saying 'here' and still marked as absent when you chose to sat on Chair 52, two rows behind the student cluster, traumatized you as it almost made you fail the whole course. Thank god you could prove that you listened to the lecture, since most of the lecture weren't on your textbooks.

You saw that Chair 18 was occupied. Chair 16 and 17 were empty.

Letting your Converse shoes took pace, you let your blue backpack hug the shoulders of Chair 17. You then sat in the chair, imaginatively creating prank scenarios to perform human-made karmas on Eric for making you wait to long for what he wanted to say at locker hallways.

Oh, this going to be perfect...

You felt it from your peripheral senses that Eric was approaching the chair on your left. Putting an act of clueless human being, your hand reached to your phone on your left pocket slowly. As the kid beside you dragged the chair behind, he was about to give up his responsibility to bear his own weight to his chair... until the same hand you used to try reaching your phone went to the back of his chair quickly and pulled it.

"Ow!!" You were covering your face not to burst into explosion of loud giggles. Turning your head to the left, looking at the boy on the floor and you—

Oh shit— Eric what did you do?

You remembered Eric's jersey number for his basketball match back in high school, so you look at Chair 22 at the row behind your right. There he was smirking at you and waving. You gave him your panicked face; in response you received a shrug and 'not my problem' (judging from your poor lip-reading skills). You showed off your canine teeth and a middle finger.

"Let me guess..." Hyunjae stood up and fixed his chair, resting his pained butt on it.

"I'm—" Your face were burning hot like a stove, probably red like a tomato by now.

"A friend set you up, because you want to get into my pants. So, you pulled my chair..." It was like the world had a hand on your mouth for a second. You chuckled nervously.

"First of all, not exactly. My bitch brother, Eric, said he'll sit here."

"Eric is your brother?" You narrowed your eyes at him.

"Yeah, why?"

"I thought you were his girlfriend back in his house..." You faked a vomiting gesture. He laughed a little at you with a small smile.

"Back to the topic. Second... Is the 'pulling your chair' trick famous or something? You didn't seem surprised." He looked at you, mouth agape in bewilderment.

"You're not up to date with the famous students here, are you?" You probably looked silly right now, but your eyebrows were probably like a great horned owl.

"Should I be?" He raised his eyebrows, then shook his head while smiling.

"No, no! It's fine! It's famous, because I do that prank to all of my friends. Let's just say, it became a strategy for girls to get closer to me when I started being friends with kids like Juyeon, Changmin, and... your brother."

"The hell you mean my brother's famous?" Hyunjae raised his chin at Eric's direction.

"Judge for yourself."

As you look back at Chair 22, the two chairs on its left and right were seated by girls who were twirling their hair and touching his bicep. On the other hand, he kept looking at his phone screen while ignoring them.

"Morning, students! I will introduce the molecular spectroscopy this week..." As Professor Do went on talking, his words fade away the moment you heard the big, dictionary-rich words.

"The only thing I like about molecules are the periodic table thing..." The guy next to you murmured.

"I don't even remember half of it..." You turned to him.

"You don't? So if I say you're Beryllium-Uranium-Titanium-Ful, you wouldn't have a clue?" You shook your head.

He smiled a little bit, yet you couldn't read what the intention was for.

[11:32 A.M]

You and Hyunjae tidied your belongings to your own backpacks, as everyone else did. All the urge to scream and knock some sense into your brother was still concealed in your chest. Now that you thought of it, a question tickled the back of your scalp.

"I'm confused though..." He looked at you with pursed lips.

"Yeah?"

"Why weren't you curious about the set up?" He tilted his head.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not curious why my brother set me up with you?" Hyunjae let few chuckles escaped his lips.

"Judging by your answers... I believe, it was more likely he was trying to set me up with you." He started to walk to the door slowly, until his feet froze in the middle of it as he faced you again.

"And you know what? I'm pretty glad, honestly. See you tonight, Y/N." He walked away with another smile.

Your eyes were almost out of its sockets. Every nerve on your body was confused; whether they should be relaxed because the man was away, or they should still be tense by the fact that what he said just now didn't make sense? Honestly, you didn't know anymore.

You kept your eyes at Hyunjae as he kept going to the door, you saw that Eric was leaning on the door waiting for him. They both let their hand greet each other in their masculine manner. Then, Eric winked at you.

[7:18 P.M | Week 7]

There had been no lectures or assignments ever since Week 5 until Week 9. This was because it was yuletide. Eric kept gaining new friends and inviting more to your house. He had to keep a promise that he can only bring ten people to your house, as long he was responsible for having them as guests.

However, you gained a liking to his friends. They really were how you hoped Eric's friends to be; as funny as him, wouldn't make him feel alone like how he wouldn't to other people, and influenced him to try so many other things. So, the promise he made was still kept, but you don't mind if he couldn't keep it once or twice. Like sweeping up the floor at midnight after they went home? You don't mind doing it with him.

...Okay, maybe there was one more. Lee Hyunjae. That man kept inviting you to watch matches along, it was ridiculous! By now, you know which NBA stars belong in which team. He taught you how to play PlayStation games. Sometimes, all of you were there but only the two of were enjoying Resident Evil on the screen.

The second time you interacted with Hyunjae after you pulled his chair was after school when he went to your house together with you. You offered him a ride together with Eric, saving his 4,500 Won to go to your flat every day. From Week 4 to Week 5, the three of you had been doing carpool karaoke at noon.

From then on, little conversations and details mattered to Hyunjae. Once you mentioned that you love homemade popcorn and french fries. After that day, he came with a homemade popcorn and another day with french fries. Every detail about you that he caught were used as a weapon to unintentionally steal your heart.

He was... too nice for someone who was just Eric's friend in your life. Maybe that was why you decided to be involved when you were invited to watch a game together.

Now, it was 25th of December. None of the other ten boys went home to their hometown or families. It was a sad week for them all. They were homesick and so were you and Eric as you both missed your family in LA. Then, Sangyeon, who happened to be the only senior of yours that made it to this friend circle, said a Christmas dinner should sound nice.

So, there you all were, eating Samgyeop and the Saeng Galbi that you grilled. Everyone enjoying their Soju bottles with the rice accompanied by the smoky beef, laughing as you shared how Eric once was asked to be the guy to replace an injured baseball player, then going home and watched a baseball match with a man claiming to be the father of the injured, doing the service as a gratitude for Eric. Two months later, the man was on breaking news for car theft and being chased by the police for six hours straight.

After the dinner, everyone opened up their presents. You were given a few things by these boys, like a hat by Changmin with a note "I don't really know what you like, but Eric said your ears get numb when it snows. Thank you for letting us be a safe space to each other by letting us hang in your house every day! Must not be easy :("

You also got new headphones, because Haknyeon noticed your left Airpods was broken. For people who weren't exactly close, but always welcoming for you (because you welcomed them first), they were very considerate and caring.

You opened your gift from Hyunjae and there were three things there: a Chanel lipstick, a mistletoe, and a coupon for the arcade. You were worried for a second that the lipstick shade won't match you. You turned the case and read what the name of the shade was: '16 - Livermorium'

The thin coupon paper was almost see-through, you could see that there was a writing with a marker behind it.

Wanna bail? □ Yes □ No

You smiled widely at the words, you looked for Hyunjae as everyone was busy talking to each other, expressing their gratitude for the gifts received. You saw Hyunjae leaning near the vestibule, already looking at you. The grin in your face widened and you nodded. He smiled as you both stepped quietly out the room.

"Y/N! Thank you for the new jacket!! You don't know how much I wanted this kind—" Jacob was about to hug you but he noticed you and Hyunjae were taking your shoes to go outside quietly.

You both looked up at Jacob, frozen and you panicked a little. However, Jacob gave a gentle smile instead. He reached to his pocket and tossed Hyunjae his Kawasaki keys.

"Y'all go! I'll cover for you."

[7:49 P.M]

The two of you were in giggles as you scored thirty points in the timed basketball game, while Hyunjae scored more but since his hoop didn't detect the ball passing through, he was still at zero.

"I won!" He rolled his eyes while curving his lips to a crescent, exposing the white on his teeth and the red in his cheeks.

Suddenly, a light bulb was lit inside that wrinkly organ in your skull. You took a few steps to Hyunjae, looking up at him wearing the biggest smile.

"Hey, Hyunjae."

He looked at your eyes, hypnotized by those honey ambers. His own eyes gazing at you from your eyes to the corner of your lips. For one second, he was too drunk in you to even respond.

"Yeah?"

"You opened my gift yet?"

"Yeah... The perfume, right? How much did it cost?" He did not intervene with his eye contact that moved from your eyes to your lips to your eyes and your lips (on and on and on).

"127,900 Won. It's custom made, just like the lipstick you gave me."

He started to feel weak in this eye contact, as if about to give up and just kiss you already. His breath started to hitch and had no energy to do anything beyond whispering.

"Yeah? What did you pick for my custom perfume?"

"I gave the perfumer a sample of my shampoo, my own perfume, my lipstick, and the butter you use for the popcorn you make... because it smells like me." Hyunjae smirked at the sensual, yet the genuine loving manner.

"Is that it?" His right arm decided to hug your waist.

You swore that you almost lost all the shyness and the contemplation to kiss him right there right then. His left thumb reached your bottom lip, dragging to the end point of your chin.

"You want me to remember you with your scent?" It was your turn to blush and get drunk in his love.

You nodded with a shameless naughty smile. Then you let your chin rest on his chest as you looked up to his eyes like a puppy. His pupils began to dilate as he stared at your eyes like a king sitting on his throne looking down at a begging treasonist kissing his feet.

"I just want you overall..." You whispered as he chuckled.

"Mhmm? Yeah? Why don't you show me?"

Hyunjae noticed you took something from the pockets of your pants. It was the Chanel lipstick he gave you and the mistletoe. As you left a gap between you and him enough to put on the makeup in front of him, he took the mistletoe from your hands put it on top.

"Make my dreams come true, will you?"

"Oh what? Kissing you under the mistletoe like the Justin Bieber song you always play?" You both giggled, never letting each other's sights out of each other's sights.

"Not really... Kissing Y/N and nobody else but Y/N had always been the dream since the first time I saw you." You raised your eyebrows at him while smiling widely.

"...And my childhood 13-year-old dream that I had when I was hitting puberty." You couldn't stop smiling and laughing. You snaked your hand, holding the mistletoe with him.

"Gladly..."

You leaned in with the best slow, romantic pace you could ever think of to introduce the relationship for much more kisses to come. It felt like you woke up from the dandellion hills in the Garden of Eden. Felt so right as if nothing in life had ever wronged you. It felt like you flew out of your body, elevating to the outer space where you live among the stars, just floating.

You both gave yourselves some breaths to take in, letting some space between you both.

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Why a radioactive element, Livermorium?" He gave away the same giggles he had been having ever since he was with you in that arcade.

"I might memorize the periodic table, but I don't know what the chemical elements mean... I just like the way you can have a code to speak with when you have the periodic table." You tilted your head at him in confusion.

"So what is there to decipher?" He grinned at your cluelessness.

"Livermorium in short is Lv in Group 16 of the periodic table... familiar?" You looked at him wide-eyed as if starstruck at a Nobel Prize genius.

"Chair 16, Chemistry class... Lv short for the word Love?" He nodded proudly, enjoying the attention your eyes gave him.

"Corny, right?"

"Very!"

That night, he confessed that he would really like to be yours and he had never had anyone else (and didn't want to have) other than you in mind. It might look like it was too fast but the chemistry you both had spoke much for yourselves that actually, you were both ready.

From that moment on, the lipstick stained not only on your lips, but on his. He wore it so proud he wouldn't even wipe off the red-pinkish messy smears on his lower cheeks.

[sparklywaistcoat]

I haven't been able to watch the show, but I have read a lot of the meta, and I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for a long time (which is why I can't watch the show because from what I've seen, the techniques Izzy uses and the situations he puts Ed in are entirely too close in some respects to what happened to me), so I'm going to weigh in about the whole abuse angle even though I'm feeling really triggery rn, because this shit is so important for people to understand.

There is actually a very well-documented cycle of abuse that always follows the same kind of track, and that seems to be what plays out with Ed and Izzy in OFMD. There's a love-bombing phase, where the abuser treats you really, really well. You think you have a great relationship, although there are red flags all over the place, but you can ignore them because everybody gets mad sometimes and says what they don't mean, right? And it's pretty obvious (to you, at least), that they adore you. I mean, they treat you like royalty, right?

But then once the abuser is sure that they have you in their clutches and that you're not going to leave, they start tightening the leash, bit by bit. They isolate you from friends and family. They find out what triggers you to do their bidding, and then they push that button. And they push it, and push it, and push it until you can't take it anymore and maybe you're suicidal by that point.

If you're lucky, you manage to pull yourself out of that spiral and survive, which makes them even madder because now you've come to your senses and are separating yourself from them and refusing to pay any attention to their bullshit anymore and maybe even starting to push back. And if you're even luckier, you manage to (metaphorically) shoot the abuser's leg off and leave.

Anyway.

From what I've seen in the meta, this is what happens to Ed.

He probably had an okay relationship with Izzy at the beginning, but it kept getting worse and worse, with Izzy trying harder and harder to control him. This escalates dramatically after Stede arrives, because suddenly Izzy isn't as important to Ed anymore, so Izzy is going to push every button he can find to get Ed back under his control, which both does untold damage to Ed and also backfires spectacularly because finally Izzy pushes just a little too far, which helps Ed to free himself, more or less. (Good on you, Ed. You did a really, really brave thing, bro. And Izzy? You can go keelhaul yourself. Wanker.)

If you grew up in an emotionally abusive environment, that kind of abusive treatment will feel *normal*. And from what I've seen of the show, Ed grew up in a very abusive environment, so the way Izzy treats him is just normal, to him, and maybe on some level Ed even thinks he deserves it, if he has internalized his childhood abuse.

And just on the level of modern culture (and here I'm only speaking for the US; I can't speak for other places), emotional abuse can be very difficult to spot, because there are so many forms of communication that actually are abusive but that we take to be "normal" (gestures broadly at ideas about "good parenting") or even "funny" (gestures broadly at comedy shows).

What's even worse is that the abuser will have absolutely no clue what they did wrong (which apparently is the case with Izzy), because according to them, everything they did was necessary in order to keep the world turning on its axis. People like Izzy who have the need to control others have extremely deep-seated anxiety. They are hugely, hugely insecure. They're not controlling others for shits and giggles (or at least not entirely for that reason); they're doing it partly because they think they're entitled to, but mostly because on some level, probably subconsciously, they honestly feel that something absolutely horrifying will happen if they don't have that control. They don't know what that horrifying thing is, just that they need to prevent it from happening.

Also the whole on-screen/off-screen thing is actually really important, because most abuse of this kind is going to happen in private, where others can't see it, or else in situations where any potential witnesses are strangers who likely are never going to see the abuser and the victim again.

This gives the abuser plausible deniability with the outside world, and a lot of outside observers will back the abuser to the hilt for this very reason ("well *I* didn't see it happen, so therefore it didn't happen" <folds arms and nods smugly>), or even act as the abuser's flying monkeys by trying to persuade the victim and others that the abuser is actually a pretty good person. (This kind of shit also seems to be happening in the fandom with regard to Ed and Izzy, which gives me the heebie-jeebies. Some of y'all need therapy, yo.)

The abuser also isn't going to treat everyone badly: that's going to be reserved for the select few people that they know they can abuse and get away with it. They won't behave badly toward or in front of those whose good opinion they need or value, at least not until such point as they think they have those others in their pockets as well.

tl;dr: Ed and Izzy's relationship is a textbook case of emotional abuse that ends with the victim in a suicidal spiral and then finally freeing themselves (more or less) from the abuser.

“Izzy emotionally abused Ed into being Blackbeard for years”

My sibling in Calypso, that is your headcanon. That is not information we were given in the show. It’s fine to have headcanons but please don’t act like other people are wrong for having different headcanons for periods of time that we did not see in the show.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

I do think the "you know what he did when I told him I loved him?" exchange is a bit jarring from a writing perspective BUT I am putting my Watsonian hat on to darn this plot hole and I am thinking that Stede didn't know know, he just put it together from context right then and there.

like, Stede definitely knows Ed shot Izzy in the leg. even people who weren't there, like Lucius, know that Ed is responsible for maiming Izzy, and I would imagine that this was an important point in the discussion/vote over whether Ed should be banished or not. there's no way for him not to know if he's talked to the crew about Ed at all, and we know he has because we see the start of that conversation.

nor is it a surprise to him that Izzy loves Ed. outside of Ed saying Izzy's jealous and Stede asking if he's doing a victory lap, I think Stede lowkey thought Ed and Izzy were in a relationship in Season 1, due to comments like "trouble in paradise?" in 1x06.

and the question comes literally just after Izzy sits down to rest his leg, and Stede outright mentions the leg (bitchily) so the setup is very clear.

like, okay, if I spent several hours talking about the weird black comedy surrounding my college roommate's death and funeral, and then later in the conversation we started talking about regional restaurants, and I was like, "hey, you know when I was last in a Waffle House?", you can probably infer from the way I'm saying it and the context of the previous conversation that the answer is probably "after your college roommate's funeral." it'd be really weird if I said it that way and the answer was like, "last week, it was super uneventful and I go there all the time" or "when I was two years old, I don't remember it at all."

so yeah, I don't think there needed to have been an explicit conversation about it for Stede to infer it.

[bookishjules]

what do you think Izzy was like post cohf but pre tftsa? bring on the angst

okay i can't promise this will be coherent, but..

the first thing that comes to mind is angry. like.. i don't think i need to contextualize this for you, but just to get us in the headspace.. she really just gave her heart away. put the emphasis on any word in that sentence and it not only makes sense but just feels heavier and heavier. she fell in love in spite of herself, in spite of her fears and insecurities, in spite of her efforts and determination. and why would that not make her feel like the biggest fucking idiot?? she knew. she knew that falling in love would only result in pain and heartbreak and that that was a life she didn't want to live. and yet she did all that anyway. she put trust in simon, trust in the universe, and of course men and the universe will do what they do.. so can she really fault anyone but her own naive self?

she externalizes that anger too, snapping at her family, being especially brutal when she comes across demons during patrol etc. and the worst part is, that that anger doesn't take the other emotions away, it doesn't eradicate the love she felt for simon, that she still very much feels for him. she thinks of him and her heart hurts and it only makes her all the more angry. i think she waffles between being glad she never truly said the words "i love you" and regretting it. because now those words are just curdling inside her, a constant reminder of what she had and lost, and it makes her sick. like no, she never gave them away, but that also means she has to harbor the truth of them in her stomach. the truth of how much she's come to need him, of how every time she feels herself breaking down because of the heaviness of reality, it's his arms she craves.

she tries to forget. tries to move on like she's always been able to, tries to deny him like she's never been able to, but it doesn't work. of course it doesn't work. she tries to go out, to kiss boys, but all it does is pull her closer to tears. and it feels a little like she's the one being disloyal. because her heart still belongs to simon. because she never actually broke up with him. he may not remember that they are still together, but it's not like he wanted to ghost her. he loved her. and if he knew her.. he still would. but physicality has always helped her forget, helped her push those strong emotions deep inside. so she trains and she goes dancing, and she even lets a couple guys take her home. but no matter how intense the physical side gets, the emotions just rear their heads even stronger.

she's changed so much since meeting simon, since falling in love with him. and suddenly she isn't satisfied by hookups and bandaids. she wants someone to listen to her, to see her. someone to protect, someone to hold her hand. someone worth fighting for. she wants simon. she worries she's ruined. she worries she'll never be satisfied if he isn't simon. how could she find that again? would she even want to?

and i say she wants someone to talk to, but she definitely is not opening up to the people who are trying to be there for her. she closes herself off until she can properly mask her emotions, but her brothers aren't fooled by her act. clary has the best success when talking to izzy. not because she can offer consolation in any way, but because she gets it. because they can comfort each other in the loss of this person who meant the most to both of them. and when starving out the emotions doesn't seem to be working, izzy decides maybe .. maybe she should try the opposite. so clary starts to tell her stories. she talks about simon the way she grew up with him, talks about his favorite subjects in school and how he cried at his dad's funeral and the day he came home from his first guitar lesson. and izzy knows it helps clary too, to have someone who will appreciate these stories as well. who will appreciate a glimpse into the world clary lost.

but of course that also makes izzy feel even less deserving of the sense of absolute loss she feels when it comes to simon. like she had this guy in her life for what.. four months? why is she reacting so strongly?? why must this love have such a chokehold on her?? but the way she opened up to simon was something so unique and new that.. it wasn't just losing him. in a way, she'd lost a piece of herself too, the piece she'd never thought she'd give away. and fuck. it had felt so good. in all the anxiety.. it had felt good to be vulnerable with simon. it had been a piece of her that she'd relented. not freely given at first, but by the end.. it was absolutely his. and he took it with him. there was no getting that piece of her back.

no matter how hard she'd tried, she ended up with a man who hurt her, just like her mother warned. but she doesn't want to be like her father, either, marrying someone he doesn't truly love, mistreating them in that apathy.. not after what she felt with simon. not now that she knows what true love and heartbreak are. so she thinks well.. i guess i'll have to live off sex alone.

but like i said before, sex doesn't work. alec says she'll find someone, jace tries to distract her, any effort her mom makes is completely brushed aside.. and eventually she finds herself hoping. it's naive. its fucking dumb. but she starts.. stalking simon. just a little. she attends his shows, and she pays attention. she talks to people who have interacted with him since edom, and she pays attention. is there a piece inside him that's broken too? could he remember me? remember us? how bad would it be to just approach him. to kiss him and remind him of the truth.

she expresses these thoughts one night, after having had a little too much to drink at one of simon's shows and going to crash at magnus and alec's place. and magnus listens. he doesn't want to give her false hope, but he also doesn't want her to sink so far into this train of thought that she ends up approaching mundane simon in such a self-destructive way. so he tells her that if they found enough proof, they could try to jog his memory.

then izzy find the poster days after the band changes their name to the mortal instruments and the rest is history..

[gnrbitch]

Summer Break Pt.1

Summary: Duffs little sister, Y/n, is sent to go spend her summer break in LA

Warnings: profanity, smoking, ehhh idk what else

————

1986

“Look you guys shouldn’t come, you’ll meet her after I pick her up” Duff told the guys, who were all standing in front of his girlfriends car (except for izzy, he was standing next to Duff smoking a cigarette), demanding that he let them join him on going to pick up his sister.

“Dude no! we’ll be cool I promise” Slash said, he was excited to meet baby McKagan, hearing she was a little punk chick.

“We’re not moving, let us go with you” Axl said crossing his arms.

“Fuck, fine! just get in the car” Duff said as he started to walk over on the drivers side.

“You coming Iz?” he asked looking around being unable to see him, “Yea” Izzy said, already in the car.

“I wanted to sit there!” Steven whined, pointing to where Izzy was sitting, “To bad, go to the back” Iz said, rolling his eyes.

So off they were, Duff driving, Axl and Izzy in the back, and Slash and Steven in the back back, leaving the passenger seat empty.

“So Duff, are you excited to see her?” Axl asked looking at him from the rearview mirror, watching him tap his fingers on the steering wheel.

“Honestly” he sighed “I’m fucken scared” he said giving them a quick glance from the mirror.

“What! Why?” Steven asked

“The last time I saw her she was 13, now she’s freshly 18, i don’t know how much she’s changed” “Plus I basically abandoned her, I was her only friend… our parents have always been a bit too hard on her.”

“Can’t be that bad” Iz shrugged

“No I get it Duff, teenage girls are fucken terrifying” Axl said, thinking about his own sister back home.

“huh” Slash said “Maybe we shouldn’t have came”

Duff just rolled his eyes.

****

“Do you see her?” Steven asked looking from the back window, along with practically everyone in the car.

“No” Duff said looking around nervously, he wishes he could get out of the car, but this is the pick up only part of the station.

“Wait who’s that?” Izzy pointing at a girl, who was walking over to them in a Ramones tee, white waffle shirt under, and a pair of baggy jeans.

“Is that her?” Duff asked, panicked as she got closer

“Dude i don’t know she’s not my sister” Izzy said

“Duff” Y/n said standing at the window of her brothers car

“Y/n?”

“Who else would it be, let me in the car” She said fixing the duffel bag that was on her shoulder.

“Shit yea, sorry” He said unlocking the car door.

Y/n sighed as she sat in the car, rubbing her eyes “Long time no see huh Duff” She said, looking at him.

Duff took a moment to look at how much his little sister had changed, she didn’t have the same baby face she had when he left, her hair was cut way differently, her face slightly sunken in, she’s a… woman? He thought to himself.

“this is awkward” Y/n said as she looking behind her, feeling too many eyes on her.

Y/n flinched as she saw four men sitting in the back, “Jesus fuck you guys scared me” she said

“Duff man you weren’t lying when you said she didn’t look like you” Y/n saw the ginger say

“Yea” Duff said as he finally started to drive, “That’s Axl” he said looking at his sister

“I’m Steven!” Y/n saw a blonde guys pop up, flashing her a smile.

“This is Slash” The blonde, Steven said pointing to Slash, “Hi” he said, she nodded her head at him

Looking at the dark haired man sitting right behind her, he simply just said “Izzy”

Y/n liked Izzy, he seemed like the coolest one

“Okay cool” she said “I’m Y/n”

Sitting in silence Y/n turned on the radio, hearing Motley Crue come on, she immediately turned it off.

“You don’t like the Crue?” Duff furrowed his eye brows, “No” she responded “They’re annoying” she said looking out her window.

“My girlfriend has some Cds, do you wanna look through those?” he said pointing at the glove compartment infront of her.

Y/n opened it, looking at a Bon Jovi cd, a Van Halen Cd, rolling her eyes at the Motley Crue Cd, and finally a Blondie Cd.

“You like Blondie right Y/nn?” Duff said turning his head to his sister

“Yea they’re cool” she said putting in Van Halen’s self titled album in the radio.

The boys in the back looked at each other, this was awkward, and they probably made it even worse by coming, so they stood quiet.

Duff lowered the volume of the radio, clearing his throat.

“So mom tells me you’ve been having issues back home” he said glancing at his sister, afraid of her reaction.

“i’m not having any issues” she furrowed her eyebrows, confused on what he was talking about

“Not issues-” he started, not sure if he should be even talking to her about this in front of his friends, “But she tells me you don’t really have any friends” he said gripping the wheel.

“I do have friends Duff, I just don’t bring them around mom” she said turning to look out the window.

“Why not?” he asked “Cause she’ll think they’re a bad influence” she said, wanting to end this embarrassing conversation

“Well are they?” he asked “No they’re cool, I think you’d like them”

“Right we’ll she also sa-” Duff started

“No” Y/n said rolling her eyes “No?” Duff furrowed his eye brows “Yea no, whatever moms telling you is a lie” she said

“So you aren’t leaving and coming back home days later”

This made her smile, “Okay that is true, but i’m not doing anything bad”

“So then what are you doing”

“Nothing, I just like to be around them”

“What? Why?” Duff said to his sister

“They’re cool” she shrugged her shoulders

“Am I cool?” Duff said looking at her

“Sure” she said cooly

Duff sighed, eager to change the topic “Okay well what do your friends do?”

“They’re all in different bands” She said, thinking about her friends back home.

“That’s cool, punk?” he asked

“Kinda? I don’t know but it’s really good, when you come to Seattle i’ll take you to go see them”

“Yea that’d be nice” He said smiling at his sister.

Silence filled the car once again, looking out the window, Y/n asked “Are we almost there?”

“Yea we’re pretty close” he said as they drove through downtown LA

Stopping at a red light, Y/n heard commotion coming from outside the car, a woman with a poster walked to the car, yelling “Don’t let these boys fool you! they’re bad people! You’re too young!”

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows and watched the lady get smaller and smaller as they drove away.

Turning to look at Duff with confused wide eyes, she also turned back to look at the four boys, silently turning back around after they were already looking at her.

“Don’t worry about that Y/n, nothings gonna happen.” He said looking at his sister

“Okay” she silently said.

————

Hope you guys liked this chapter!!! I’m thinking about making this a multiple chapter fic, so i’ll be uploading the most I can! Also gonna be introducing other people in this, so stay tuned for that ;).

Also sorry for the Motley Crue hate 😕 I actually like them but i feel like this goes with Y/n okay!!😭😭🙏🙏

[skyland2703]

HUH

What does Javelia do in the situation that Waffles gets stuck on a roomba.

Izzy bought the room and taped a knife to it probably.

Javi took the knife off and just went “Free roomba :))))))))))”

Idk what a roomba is

[cottoncandiescupcakes]

OFMD as Dutch food

Ed: drop aka Dutch liquorice. Either love it hate it it'll leave an impression :o

Stede: Slagroomtaart aka whipped cream birthday cake :D Fancy(By Dutch standards lol) and always loved

Izzy: Oude kaas. Aged Old Amsterdam cheese, great if you can handle it

Jim: Jenever. Artisanal strong Dutch gin Jim would just really love this

Oluwande: Stroopwafel, caramel waffles that are everyone's favorite

Archie: Kroket, meat ragout filled hearty fried treats that are just so comforting

Frenchie: Poffertjes, fun mini pancakes that you can't help but enjoy

Wee John: Snert. Thick pea soup with sausage, filing and hits the spot. He'd LOVE this

Roach: Dutch/Indonesian rice table. Roach would love this and it's delicious. Many varied dishes to make.

Lucius: Tompouche. Lovely and impossible to resist just like our Lucius.

Pete: Stampot. Just a simple filling dish of sausage, mashed potatoes, gravy. Very Pete vibes

Buttons: Hollandse nieuwe. Raw herring that you eat upside down like a literal seagull. Disgusts outsiders but real ones KNOW.

Fang: Oliebollen. A new years fried dough, sugar treat that makes everyone smile.

Spanish Jackie: Kersenbonbon. Cherry liquor chocolate bonbons that will make you end up in her harem if you eat too many

The Swede: Lammetjespap. Really soft fluffy porridge said to resemble lambs that just has the same innocent energy as him

[skyhawkstragedy]

T’kor’s waffling is giving me Cirie/Izzy ptsd-

[mavigator]

i gave izzy their waffles and forgot to give them a fork and i walk in on them eating syrupy waffles with their bare hands ASK ME FOR A FORK?

[doks-aux]

Fic: Dead Men Take No Dares

Fandom: Our Flag Means Death

Characters: Izzy Hands, Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet, Lucius Springs, Ivan, Fang, Nathaniel Buttons, Crew of the Revenge

Relationships: Izzy Hands & Edward Teach, Izzy Hands & Crew of the Revenge, Izzy Hands & Ivan & Fang

Rating: PG-13/Teen

Content/Warnings: Truth or Dare, friendship (existing, mending, and growing), humor, and a callback to one of my favorite jokes from Season 1

Summary: “Fun, huh?” He breathed in and out once very deliberately then opened his eyes to look at Fang, face carefully neutral. “All right. I can do fun.”

--

Izzy is strong-armed into a game of Truth or Dare and decides to play by the rules.

Notes: Written for the zine Above All Else: An Appreciation of Izzy Hands in 2023 and set in a possible post-Season 1 future where everyone is trying to get along and no one is very good at it. (Except Fang, of course.) Written before the premiere of Season 2 and has not been edited to reflect any of that updated canon. The only difference between this text and what appears in the zine is the correction of three minor grammatical errors that will haunt me for the rest of my natural life.

Word Count: 1368

Read on AO3

--

Israel Hands was seven minutes and fifteen seconds into his frantic search for his captains or, indeed, any sign of life on the Revenge, when he finally heard Bonnet's voice ring through the halls of the gundeck.

“All right! Perhaps we ought to revisit and revise our ‘no more than two truths before a dare’ rule to ‘at least two truths before a dare.’”

The conversation was coming from the jam room, and Izzy hastened his steps in that direction, taking note of each voice that joined in.

“But then we’d barely get any dares!” Black Pete whined.

“I’m fine with that.” That was Spriggs, vaguely distressed as always. “I’m great.”

“Uh, it’s not Truth or Dare without any dares.” Black Pete again.

“Maybe that can just be a rule for Captain Ed and Wee John.” Roach then.

“Sorry about that,” Feeney said at the same time that Edward chirped, “Sorry, mate,” neither sounding particularly sorry at all. Was the whole fucking crew in there?

“Now, we don’t want to single anyone out...” Bonnet waffled--prompting a small chorus of “Yes, we do”--just as Izzy stepped through the door.

“Captain... s?” he asked, catching himself before he forgot to pluralize. He looked first to Edward then to Bonnet, taking in the room’s remaining occupants in between. It was, of course, the whole fucking crew. “Wh--?”

“Hey, Iz-dog!” Edward bellowed cheerfully, springing to his feet and barrelling toward Izzy with enthusiasm he had not anticipated.

“Oh, no, Izzy’s here!” Spriggs gasped, also jumping to fling himself at Izzy.

Edward reached him first, gripping his bicep and tugging excitedly. “You’ve gotta get in on this, mate. We’re--”

“I guess we have to stop having fun now,” Spriggs’ exaggerated lamentations rose over the rest of Edward’s sentence. “So sad.” Undermining his words, he grabbed Izzy’s other shoulder and leaned in to hiss, “What took you so long? There’ve been three fires already.”

“Fire?” Izzy darted his eyes between Edward and the boy before scanning the room more thoroughly. “Where is there a fucking fi--?”

“It’s out, Boss,” Ivan announced, and Izzy whipped his head around to see him stomping out the last embers of a fucking fire.

“Why is there--?”

“In my defense,” Edward cut in, snapping Izzy’s attention back to him, bright-eyed and grinning, “I was dared.”

Izzy held Edward’s unwaveringly mischievous gaze for a moment, just in case an explanation would be offered unprompted.

It was not.

“What are you--?” he began, valiantly suppressing most of a weary sigh.

“We’re playing Truth or Dare,” Jim interrupted this time, annoyed, though whether with him or Edward, Izzy wasn’t sure. He was getting whiplash all the same.

“What the fuck is--?” But Izzy cut himself off this time with a frustrated shake of his head, a growl dying in his throat. That one he actually knew, and it wasn’t the point. “Never mind. Edward, wh--?”

“You should play, too, Iz! It’s a blast!” The implish gleam in his captain’s eyes dimmed just slightly, his smile turning sheepish. “Didn’t mean not to invite you. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.”

That wasn’t the point. It was not within five hundred nautical miles of the fucking point. But the genuine apology in Edward’s tone took Izzy off guard all the same, stayed his tongue while he allowed himself to appreciate it.

“Oh, of course,” Bonnet butted in before Izzy could find his words again, which was marginally better than interrupting him, but that margin was about as thin as Izzy’s patience. “You can squeeze right in, we haven’t been playing long.”

“Three fires,” Spriggs mouthed silently in Izzy’s peripheral vision.

“I don’t care about your fucking game.” It came out with more bite than Izzy meant it to even if it was true. (He was trying to be less of a dick. They all were. They were bad at it, but they were trying. It just was not the point right now.) “Edward, listen. Wh--?”

“Aw, don’t be like that, Iz. Play with us!”

“Edward, I need to--”

“Join the game, and you can ask him anything you like,” Bonnet said, chipper and smug. “When it’s your turn.”

Edward squashed Izzy’s delusions that he might consider reason by immediately nodding along. “There ya go, Iz, just wait your turn.”

On second thought, fuck the both of them.

“That settles it! Have a seat, Izzy,” Bonnet continued like he didn’t even notice Izzy’s heroic attempts to explode him with his mind. “We’ll do a few rounds so you can see how the game is played.”

“I don’t--”

“And then you can have a turn!”

“Captains--”

“Just let it happen, Boss,” Ivan muttered, calm and commiserating, throwing an arm across Izzy’s back. “Come sit with me and Fang.”

Not wanting to fight because they weren’t supposed to be doing that sort of thing anymore (and because Ivan could scruff him like a cat if he chose), Izzy allowed himself to be led to the bit of floor claimed by Fang, who beamed and scooted over to make room for them.

“Hi, Izzy,” Fang greeted as Izzy sat beside him. Izzy grimaced in reply, careful not to shift his weight onto his bad foot as he settled on the floor. Ivan sat on Izzy’s other side, bracketing him between his old colleagues.

“Does anyone remember whose turn we were on?” Bonnet asked, and conversation erupted through the room, everyone talking over each other while Izzy straightened his spine and tried to catch Edward’s attention through the chaos.

“Anyone who doesn’t love arson,” Spriggs groused, flopping in defeat beside Black Pete.

“Seconding no arson,” Boodhari agreed.

Frenchie laughed. “That’s not a big number on this boat, babes.”

“May I have a turn?” The Swede raised his hand. “I will not choose fire.”

And on and on the inane chatter continued, Izzy squirming in impatience as Edward looked everywhere but at him. He was nearly ready to snap when he felt a gentle touch at his back.

“It’s not so bad, Boss,” Fang murmured kindly, giving him that soft-eyed look that Izzy never knew how to respond to since he’d promised to stop yanking his beard. “Give it a chance. Maybe you’ll have fun.”

Izzy bit the inside of his cheek before he could spit something ugly. He clenched his fists until his fingernails dug into his palms, squeezed his eyes shut until he saw stars, and tensed every muscle in his body until he had no choice but to relax.

“Fun, huh?” He breathed in and out once very deliberately then opened his eyes to look at Fang, face carefully neutral. “All right. I can do fun.”

He would wait his turn.

Fang smiled like he was proud of him, and Izzy did not tell him to fuck off. Bonnet got the game started up again, and Izzy observed the proceedings dutifully. There didn’t seem to be any sort of logic to how the turns were taken, the rules were clearly made up as they went, and the truths asked and dares accepted were as ridiculous and reckless as he would have expected. Nevertheless, he was grudgingly impressed that the Swede could contort his limbs into a pretzel with such ease.

Finally, Bonnet looked to Izzy and spread his arms out with his customarily unwarranted pomp. “Now it’s your turn, Izzy. Ask anyone anything you’d like.”

“Fine.” Izzy looked Edward straight in the eye. “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” Edward answered, still constrained by the new dare limit.

“Who’s steering the fucking ship, Edward?”

“The fuck do you mean? Buttons is. Right, Buttons?”

Izzy watched realization dawn in Edward's eyes, his slow, horrified turn to the wall, where Buttons had been standing the whole time.

Buttons, very much not steering the ship, stared back, unblinking. “Olivia wanted to watch the game,” he said of the seagull perched on his head. “She’s a yen for hot gossip.”

“...SHIT!”

Edward tore out of the jam room, most of the crew stampeding after him. Izzy remained seated, Ivan and Fang still at his side and Buttons still against the wall. Under the thunder of footsteps and bickering and Bonnet shrieking in panic, Izzy smiled.

“You were right, Fang. That was fun.”