#using the power for you what does that mean!!!!

[momenalmdhoun]

Desperate Plea: A Call For Relife‼️ 🥀

Hello, It's Momen Al Madhoun, writing from the most miserable area in the whole world, I am deeply thankful to all of you. Your support means the world to my family

🍉🍉🍉 I urgently plead you to keep sharing our campaign with your friends, family, and acquaintances

15 months have passed as if it were 15 years, and suffering increasing day after day 😔 Our health is decaying, we have NO IMMUNITY to fight diseases. No healthy food to feed our worn cells. Finding a quiet, clean place for us to get some rest is IMPOSSIBLE! I'm in urgent need of serious financial support so that I can take action and save my family! Our faces speak the misery we're going through! my children can't bear the ruthlessness of war life… pain and cold does not allow either of them to sleep 💔

I found in drawing a way to relieve stress and describe what we are experiencing, but even this i was deprived of, due to the difficulty of obtaining good internet and electricity for a sufficient time If you are interested in art, you can check I my blog I and find my artworks, i hope you will share them and support me to continue fighting and trying Every share and donation brings us one step closer to saving my family's lives. Your support, no matter how small, holds the power to rescue my loved ones from grave danger There are no words can describe how many times we have been displaced The situation we're living now is really hard to imagine Where do we Go?

Imagine the vastness of this universe, we cannot escape to a safe place far from the war

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[tizeline]

TSAU!Donnie's Ninpō Explained!

The first ability Donnie unlocks is the ability to see mystic energy! Objects or people with with mystic energy has this colourful glowing aura you could call it, the more mystic energy the more brightly is glows. For example - Mikey already has a very bright aura naturally, which becomes even brighter when he is actively using magic! ..... All of this is to say, Donnie found that out the hard way when he used his mystic sight on Mikey when he was using magic and Donnie as a result got a little bit fucking blinded!

All yōkai and mutants are naturally mystic in nature, they always have a visable aura because of that. Humans are not mystic, so they don't have that aura. HOWEVER! Humans can learn how to use magic through certain means like, y'know, Ninpō for example! When a human uses magic, they do have mystic aura, but only while actively using mystic powers.

(Also Donnie totally accidentally discovered that the "teapot" had bad vibes because his mystic sight lol)

After a while Donnie is able to start making constructs out of his Ninpō. Initially however, he can't really form complex designs, it's mostly just blocks and walls, very simplistic shapes. But it turns out he can use these simpler constructs as effective shields! Which is good considering his soft shell as well as the fact that his battle shell in the AU wasn't built to be used as armour. Both he and April gets a lot of use out of the extra defense.

With quite a bit of practice Donnie is able to actually generate specific and more complex designs! Which means that yes, to the horror of friend and foe alike, Donnie can and will summon an entire arsenal of firepower, yikes. He's not limited to firearms though, he's able to generate all kinds of technology and machinery (drill!!!!)

To create these mystic contructs, it does require Donnie to have a good understanding of what it looks like, how it functions, etc. His imagination and his knowledge of technology are what sets a lot of the limits on what he is able to create, if he can build it in his lab then he can build it with his Ninpō. This particular ability requires a lot complex thought, if Donnie wasn't so smart he wouldn't be able to pull it off as well as he does.

Another limitation is that maintaining the contsructs is very energy-consuming, he'll quickly exhaust himself if he keeps them around. He'll usually only summon constructs very briefly for an attack and then immedietly dismiss them.

The way that Donnnie's Ninpō manifests itself is already very technology-oriented, because of that he can interact with ordinary technology through his Ninpō. Personally I haven't figured out the details of what exactly that can look like, but there's definitely a lot of possibilities to explore here.

One thing though, as Donnie's Ninpō grows more and more powerful overtime, a side-effect of that is that if he gets really pissed off or otherwise very emotional, he'll accidentally make the technology in his near viscinity go haywire lmao. (This has the risk of making him even more angry, which just worsens the problem, and so on haha)

I really like the idea of Donnie being the second most powerful mystic user out of his brothers, after Mikey of course. And because he's mostly self-trained, he doesn't have the best understanding of how to properly control his powers, which evidently can become a bit of a problem. Donnie eventually agrees to let Draxum help him get a better grasp on his mystic abilities after the Hamatos and the Draxums become more friendly with each other.

So uh. About how Donnie kinda accidentally infused Shelldon with mystic energy while creating him which caused the robot to develop a kind of soul? Yeah so because of that Shelldon's mystic energy if linked to Donnie's, which means that Shelldon more or less gains access to the same abilities as Donnie does! He's not quite as powerful as Donnie, and he still needs to practice to fully get a grasp on these powers as well. But point is, that's how Shelldon gains acess to Ninpō in the AU! (He also notices their fucked up "teapot")

----------

Anyway that basically summarizes it! A lot of these ideas are headcanons I have for canon!Donnie as well honestly, the AU is just an excuse to explore these concepts. Donnie's ability to summon fucking firearms and military equipment is also something I've thought about, I wanted to try to think how it would work for him while also putting some limitations on it. ANOTHER THING I like the idea of Donnie's tech constructs basically being the same ability as when Raph creates constructs of himself. The difference lies with that Donnie is a massive nerd so his first instinct is to recreate his own tech with the Ninpō. While Raph being someone who is already so physically strong would naturally use his Ninpō to recreate his own greatest weapon, which is himself. (Donnie uses his brain, Raph uses his brawn, who would've guessed)

[femchef]

Some really cool ongoing research and clinical studies are being done about the affects of what have been recently termed ‘ultra-processed’ foods have on bodies - that sounds like a “duh” project but!!! It’s really awesome because the research is attempting to narrow down the whys and whats and it’s been yielding some cool results????

Short notes:

- researchers are attempting to nail down categories of processed food - I’m not sold on the categories yet, but nothing is 100% and I would consider this still early stage research, though ground breaking

- processed food isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and actually there are quite a few processed foods that aren’t harmful to you, which is good, because people deserve ease of access to food

- ‘ultra-processed’ is a really new term - currently this category encompasses foods that meet a very specific criteria: example, whole-food products which have been broken down into individual nutritive or non-nutritive components and re-configured into another product with the addition of other additives used in place of now-missing natural components - the difference between whole fat yogurt and low-fat yogurt is a good example (full fat yogurt requires less ingredients - literally just milk and a bacterial agent to activate the coagulative properties of lactic acid on already existing proteins; skim or low fat yogurt requires a few additional gelling, preservation and setting agents because in removing the fat you remove a lot of the protein so you have to mimic the natural process with something else; also if you have an instant pot use it to make yogurt it’s fun and easy and tastes good).

- (also please watch out for health influencers and companies throwing around the new term ‘ultra-processed’ and don’t let them make it confusing you know they’re gonna run with that one tbh)

- CARBS ARE GOOD FOR YOU. YOU NEED THEM. That is very important ok don’t stop giving yourself carbs

- on that note - FATS ARE GOOD FOR YOU. YOU NEED THEM. That is ALSO important and something you should not stop eating.

- so the really cool point: research is showing that THE LITERAL PROCESSES we use to manufacture cheap food products are causing issues - because they are too calorie dense!! Example: dehydrating foods concentrates calories and nutrients and makes those foods super calorie-rich (think protein bars before a marathon); the reason for this isn’t necessarily bad either - we have foods like this because food researches and nutritionists have spent decades trying to pack as much nutrition into inexpensive food as possible to ostensibly keep things like pellagra from happening. There are other affects manufacturing has in foods but this point is the salient one

- in terrible, unscientific terms, you could think of it as something like we’ve concentrated the power of our food a little too much and need to pull back - dial it down a bit, as it were.

- additionally, a loaf of sourdough from your local bakery made in house is healthy, as a opposed to a loaf of wonder bread at the grocery store or the frozen shipped in bread at the Panera - both of which have shelf-stable additives, but! That also doesn’t mean that those products are wholly bad - again, see point above about how not all processed foods are bad.

- another interesting part of the research, though to me it reads a bit more speculatively at the moment, is that the hyper-intense pairings of fat -salt-sugar in foods is something that our bodies get super excited about and want to eat more of, because those combinations so rarely occur naturally. I want to see more on that point over the years, but it does tie back to our food being a bit too concentrated in all points thing above.

- in related but slightly separate research we are finding that starch foods - potatoes, rice, etc - if made about 12 hours ahead and chilled then reheated have more accessible nutrients and healthy carbohydrates and also don’t hit your body’s sugar levels negatively.

All that to say that OP is right and should say it.

There’s a nice, condensed article in The New Yorker this week if you want to read a little more and get the names of the researchers - don’t let the title scare you off, it’s written like clickbait on purpose.

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs

[h-sleepingirl]

You Are A Wizard, So Pour Over The Tomes

Hypnosis is magic. It is not just “the closest we can get to magic.” Trance practices in all kinds of forms have served as the basis for mysticism across cultures and human history -- thousands of years. It is not new. It is not western. It did not start with Franz Mesmer or James Braid or Milton Erickson or Wiseguy.

Modern hypnosis stems from a rich human history of fascination and spiritual veneration of the mind’s power. We are practitioners of a comparably new discipline where we can literally change the way that other people experience the world. Their innermost selves are as leverage to us -- putty to us, when we know what we are doing. We can transform others freely. We can give pleasure or pain. We can facilitate experiences that seem to defy reality.

People talk a big game about respecting that power. What they usually mean by that is respecting EACH OTHER. That’s crucial, obviously -- not manipulating, not harming, being a good person.

But what about respecting the discipline itself?

It’s tempting to see what we do as disconnected from the “historical” and “outdated” methods of hypnosis. But we are a part of that history. We are likely hilariously wrong about a lot of things related to trance, hypnosis, the human mind -- what will hypnosis and psychology look like in 100 years? And even as we innovate, we are always building on the techniques and ideas that came before us -- in ways we are often not even aware of. We reinvent; we use ideas from the past unknowingly.

We have a right -- and a responsibility -- to OWN our magic. I am not here to gatekeep and say that this magic is not yours. It IS yours; it’s unequivocally yours. But as a whole we could do more to respect it.

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” And hypnosis is not even a technology that we UNDERSTAND. The only real reason we DON’T see ourselves as wizards is because there is a huge motivation to legitimize hypnosis as a scientific discipline -- and non-rationalist perspectives are looked down upon in our culture. I’m not anti-science (maybe a little -- tongue in cheek) but I do think that labeling hypnosis as “just psychology” is dishonest about how much we actually objectively know about it -- and does a disservice to the phenomenon itself.

I’m not saying hypnosis is literally metaphysical. But I am saying we practice something very powerful without knowing its nature. There are secrets we have tried to suss out about this magic through history that we have written down -- past and present. We actually have tomes of knowledge, records of past experiments and modern inventors.

In the last couple of years, I’ve started teaching/facilitating “text studies” -- classes where we sit down with an excerpt from a hypnosis book and parse through it as a collaborative group. I desperately want to show people that there is value in just critically reading the resources available to us. The clinical texts -- especially older ones -- are hard to read, like they are almost in a different language. But it is amazing the insights we have come to by tackling them together.

These old texts are not pure truths -- there is a lot we’ve improved on over time. But we can learn a lot by learning what hypnosis was like historically. The entire discipline of hypnosis is extremely susceptible to change -- it is defined SO MUCH by how we view it culturally. I just recently was amazed at re-reading some Erickson where he talks about making his subjects daydream autonomously -- as a primary mode and result of inducing hypnosis. Contrast that with today, where if someone’s mind wanders for even a moment, they feel like they’ve failed. There’s something really important here -- a technique from 50 years ago that tells us something we’ve lost in modern practice.

And there are countless examples of this, of people losing and reinventing methods over and over. As I’ve watched our kinky niche grow over just the past 13 years, I’ve watched ideas phase in, out, and in again -- there is both growth and regression of our collective body of knowledge. That’s the nature of things, especially when we operate partially disconnected from the resources that are available to us.

We CAN be connected to the rich human history of trying to unravel the secrets about our minds, and about this thing that gives us enormous transformative powers -- powers that we take for granted.

You are a wizard -- so pour over the tomes.

Read a book. Read an article. Set aside some time and view yourself with the respect of being someone who can study and suss out a magical text. Take notes, look up words and concepts you don’t know. Or just absorb what you can on a first pass and go back later. Read a chapter or just master a single page. Romanticize the aesthetic of sitting with the scent of paper, or as the technomancer with words appearing on a screen.

Read. Own this art. And bring that respect of this art to the people you share it with. I promise you can do things with hypnosis that you have never thought possible.

------------------

This is a little motivational piece (for you and me!) as I gear up to teach "Analyzing Erickson" at Charmed. It's something I feel really passionately about, and I wanted to share it.

Permanently linked/free on Patreon.

[gingus----ingy]

Gender as a social construct has been used to maintain systems of power. Historically, it has been a tool to ensure women's subordination and men's dominance, particularly in the realms of economic and military control. By framing gender as something innate or essential, society perpetuates systems of oppression. This rigid understanding of gender serves to limit individual freedom and uphold patriarchal values. the moment you say anything rational, anything outside the accepted "tolerance" you are labeled a terf. Marriage laws are often structured in ways that disadvantage women. In divorce, women can lose access to property they helped acquire, be forced to pay alimony, and face lengthy legal battles over custody. These legal barriers make it difficult for women to leave marriages, trapping them in unhappy or abusive relationships. Radical feminists argue that marriage reinforces patriarchal control and should be critically examined. In Brazil, innumerable Christian organizations suffer no consequences for prohibiting any sort of family planning and publicly backlashing women that use it. In the USA, 1 in 6 woman related to having suffered birth control sabotage. In Somalia, only 7% of women have access to birth control. Afghanistan has banned family planning using the excuse of “birth control being a conspiracy to reduce muslim population”. Men—who might otherwise consider themselves supportive or open-minded—will often resort to condescending remarks like "who hurt you?" or "you re just bitter." This response seems designed not to understand but to discredit. But what s really happening here? Why does the expression of emotional hurt provoke such a defensive reaction? pibbler:What do you mean boy isnt flibbley anymore? Its been sniffing all over The evil lab! me:Why would butthole ever pirt if erf didnt sianizeres first? pibbler: You wont believe how fribulous it was when frieza started tograshing in The hotdog stand. me:

[deeplyshalllow]

Glinda gets what she deserves at the end of Wicked

I don’t necessarily mean this in an all negative light either, Glinda’s ending is bittersweet – sad, but hopeful. But she does not deserve an all out happy ending at the end of the musical.

I don’t know if I’m gonna be crucified for this, but here goes.

Glinda in Act 2 is a key part of a fascist regime. She doesn’t just live in it, she isn’t forced to take part in it and she’s not working as a double agent (like Fiyero). She knows what they are doing to the Animals (which includes separating infants from their mothers and putting them in cages, and making Animals so afraid they literally forget how to speak), she knows and loves people it is hurting and yet she continues to actively promote it.

(I won’t point out the connections to real world situations, but I’m sure you guys can all think of examples and think of how you feel about people who are active participants in helping such regimes.)

We see she knows all this too. We see she excuses it for her ego and the power:

Glinda: Do you think I like to hear them say those awful things about her? I hate it!

Fiyero: Then what are we doing here? Let's go, let's get out of here!

Glinda: We can't leave now, not when people are looking to us to raise their spirits.

Fiyero: You can't leave, because you can't resist this. And that is the truth.

Glinda: Maybe I can't. Is that so wrong? Who could?

Elphaba: No, of course you never! You're too busy telling everyone how wonderful everything is!

Glinda: I'm a public figure, now. People expect me to...

Elphaba: Lie?

Glinda: Be encouraging!

And if one could possibly argue (weakly) that, given she’s not actually doing any of the regime’s actual violence, just keeping people’s hopes up she’s not as bad as those who are, she gets worse:

Morrible: Well, we'll just flush her out and force her to show herself.

Wizard: But how?

Glinda: Her sister

Morrible: What? What did she say?

Glinda: Use her sister. Spread a rumour. Make her think her sister is in trouble and she will fly to her side... and you'll have her.

Even if one argues that Glinda is somehow not clever enough to realise that they’ll end up killing Nessa, she sure as hell knows it will get Elphaba captured. And there’s no way that Elphaba being captured won’t lead to the execution of her best friend. Yes, she’s heartbroken, yes, she might not have said this when emotions weren’t running high, but it doesn’t make her terrible words less deadly (and bear in mind Elphaba hadn’t even done anything to hurt Glinda! It was Fiyero who chose to go with her).

Glinda only really starts realising what she has done in March of the Witch hunters, when Nessa is dead, Fiyero is tortured and presumed dead and Elphaba has descended into madness – all because of her own action. And, kudos to her, this is when she decides to change, she immediately goes to Elphaba and tries to warn her about the Witch Hunters, apologises and ultimately Elphaba trusts her with the Grimmorie and to continue her legacy (which she immediately does by overthrowing the Wizard). She has started down the track to good but she still has a long way to go.

I am not the first, nor will I be the last to point this out but “Goodness knows the wicked’s lives are lonely, goodness knows the wicked die alone”, sung by Glinda,is clearly not about Elphaba. Elphaba was not wicked, nor did she die alone (literally Dorothy was in the room and metaphorically Glinda supported and loved her). Glinda is singing about herself, Glinda knows she has been wicked, Glinda knows that it is her own actions that have lead to the “death” of her friends.

So what Glinda is left with is a chance to do good. A chance to live up to her name and make up for what she’s done. A chance to use what she’s most talented at, making people like her, to continue the legacy of her best friend. Despite everything, Elphaba does trust her, if she didn’t she wouldn’t have left her with this responsibility.

Glinda: Fellow Ozians, friends, we have been through a frightening time. There will be other times and other things that frighten us. But if you let me, I'd like to try to help. I'd like to try to be... Glinda the Good.

This is why she is going to “try” to be Glinda the Good, because she hasn’t been good yet. She has learnt a lot of very hard lessons through the narrative, been dragged kicking and screaming out of her selfishness, ego and giving into her worst impulses and is grateful for a chance to repent. And honestly, I’m sure she will suceed.

And one last thing:

Elphaba: I only wish...

Fiyero: What?

Elphaba: Glinda could know that we're alive.

Fiyero: She can't know, not if we want to be safe. No one can ever know.

I know a lot of people take ire with this line. But Fiyero, always the best strategist of the group, is right. The last time Glinda was trusted with important information it led to a death and two more people nearly dying. She has not earned that trust yet.

But, remember, Glinda isn’t stupid, Glinda is in a position where she’s going to have to think more and more. Glinda has presumably seen her roommate get wet before, she saw Fiyero’s reaction to the rumour, no matter how much searching happens Fiyero’s body never turns up, how long is it really going to take for her to connect the dots? Sure “Glinda can never know” for sure, but she sure as hell can be comforted by the fact she’s almost certain her best friend did not melt from a bucket of water.

[eldritch-shitposting]

Went with "it depends on the situation" but really it's more dependent on the parameters of how my powers work.

Because I rolled up "Illusions"

And if it was just 'make illusions' then that's clear.

But the poll specifies control over illusions. So what does that mean? Does it mean I can control the illusions another magic user creates? Like some villain starts making illusions and I can make them do the hokey-pokey at will? Then I'm probably a hero, but only during the very specific times that an illusions making villain is running around. Day to day, I'm just an average joe, because seriously, how did I even learn I have this power? Was my best friend in college a kitsune? How many illusion makers ARE there around anyway?

On the other hand, if we take illusions more broadly...

Illusions as in 'sleight of hand' kind of tricks of perspective? The kind the average street magician makes happen? Then I'm probably a villain, in the sense that I find a magician and then screw them over by manipulating their own illusions in order to expose them or something and like, that's fine if they're frauds who are running a cult. But really, on average, most people who do illusion tricks like that are just having fun and in the business of entertaining. They don't need taken down.

If we talk about illusions as in people's interior illusions? The false things they think about themselves or the world? If I can manipulate that, I've probably gone full cult leader, because I'm also manipulating my own internal illusions to buy my own bullshit that I'm feeding everyone else and now I'm a god king on earth and no one can convince me or my followers otherwise. We're getting kind of into thought control territory, though, which might be stretching things?

If we talk about illusions as in, oh... television media? Because pretty much every single show has some amount of illusion used to make whatever is happening believable to the audience...

Then it's all a matter of perspective as I use my power over media to tear down the current social-political hierarchy and insert my own. Villain? Hero? All depends on how much you like how things were versus how things are going to go...

You discover that you have control over a certain thing, as determined by spinning this wheel. We're talking full-on magical girl/superhero/supervillain/your label of choice control.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

thinking about Lucanis again (always). and how so much of his narrative boils down to the theme of "control". and of course also about how this applies to the Rook x Lucanis relationship.

like the first scenes with him in the game are, in theory, about freeing him from the Ossuary (although he seems to have an escape attempt already in progress at the time, they certainly weren't just letting him keep those knives on him for enrichment purposes, Rook just provided an opening/distraction he could take advantage of and crucially Rook has A Way Out of the whole place not just a cell). but ACTUALLY the purpose it to put him right into a new contract for Us, one set up by his own grandmother and first talon no less, and the person he has the MOST trouble saying no to. He's escaped torture and the Venatori for sure but he still isn't free, which I think is part of what leads to Spite's confusion/the Inner Demons plotline. He agrees to the contract but you can tell it's in many parts out of a sense of duty/mourning vs something he actively wants to do for himself. And then the FIRST real heartfelt conversation you have with him, where he tells you "even before I was captured, my life was not really my own. So much had been determined for me." But he's chaffaing at that! He thinks "to live truly is to live fully" and so directly tells you he doesn't think he's lived a life true to himself. He's been constantly smothered by the weight of expectations around him, even though he longs for more.

And then once you get him to the Lighthouse you see how this Big lack of control in his life comes out as all these smaller frustrations. He's terrified of sleeping and downing 11 cups of coffee per hour because sleeping means he will lose control to Spite, even though Spite is shown to flee rather than fight when he feels threatened, and once calmed down, is more drawn to just benign curiosity/mischief than anything actively malicious. Like if Lucanis loses control and sleeps for a few hours he is not going to wake up surrounded by bloodshed, he's going to wake up to a belly full of candle wax because he wouldn't like Spite taste one while they were awake. Which is the other half of this--he constantly denying Spite's impulses for reasons that in some ways make sense (HE doesn't want to eat candles), but not in a way that's actually satisfying to either of them (why not just take a bite, chew for a bit, and spit it out so Spite knows they kind of suck actually?). But he CAN say no to Spite and so he does. Over and over. Spite's one of the few people he can deny things without feeling bad about it, because it's HIS body he doesn't like that has to share now (<- this is what he thinks about it at first anyway, but he's wrong, it's both of theirs and it's useless to try to hold those kind of boundaries forever. but the "no its mine" spiteful instinct is very beautifully ironic and reflective of them both and their early relationship).

And personally I think this is where his fear of his own desires and intimacy is coming from, at the root. I don't think he's afraid of the concept of being in a romance or having feelings (even if they're unusual and rare for him, this is by no means incompatible with him being demi) but I DO think he is afraid of the kind of power it gives people over you. Getting something you want means there's something else that can be taken away. Admitting your desire means the other person has the opportunity to deny that. The more you have, the more you have to lose, and he has lost again and again and again in his life--his parents, his childhood to the crows, his independence, even his future--he doesn't aspire to be first Talon but he knows the rumors. He knows his grandmother wanted it for him, not Illario. His life path has been laid out for him by others and up to this point he has simply been going along with it anyway, even though it bothers him. He COULD argue and fight Caterina and push for Illario who actually wants the job to be First Talon instead, but from The Wigmaker Job we know he doesn't. He just ignores it and pretends maybe it won't happen, without him having to do any of the work. Which is why in the end Illario is the one who has to make a move about it (and even warns Lucanis of this!!!!). Lucanis KNOWS all this makes him a target but is neither taking charge or getting off of the train tracks, just closes his eyes.

And I think THIS context is what makes the almost kiss scene in the pantry make more sense to me. Rather than being afraid of having feelings (and then NEVER addressing this in game with a Rook who pursues him anyway) or not knowing how to finish what he's started via crow seduction training, it's more like this is a pivotal moment where he can actively choose to step off the planned path of be given a job -> kill the gods -> enact revenge -> go home. even if he doesn't at that point realize that a relationship with Rook could be something that lasts long-term, the very act of doing something just for himself is what's foreign and scary and hard. It's that first step off the tracks, and even if he were to keep walking in the same direction, it means he's making a choice about it. he's accepting that one way or another it IS in his power to go along with everyone else's plans or not. Hence the hesitation, and drawing back, and needing to clear his head.

And then the rest of Rook's role in his narrative IS about giving him more and more control for himself. Inner Demons, dealing with Illario, his questlines move less towards revenge and more towards just... not being locked into one fate. Which of course Caterina comes back and immediately tries to overturn by declaring him First Talon after all, even though she and him and everyone else knows she's not ACTUALLY ready to give up her rule/decision making power yet. Which in a way is maddening because cmon I did all this work here so this sad man could have some agency in his own life just to watch him get sucked right back in (which, at least we get many directions to headcanon from here), but there's no denying that THIS version of Lucanis at least is actually going in with his eyes open now. THIS Lucanis has had a taste of life outside the Crows, and seen the politics and power dynamics in other places/organizations, and finally has emotional ties to the big picture state of the world now, both in relationship and friendship paths with Rook. He's not just hyper focused on each contract as it's given to him now, he's looking at the whole thing.

Anyway of course the beautiful culmination of all this within the romance is the lighthouse scene with Rook, where he finally is willing to let himself be vulnerable (emotionally and physically), and fall asleep without fear of what Spite's going to do in the meanwhile. He also (depending on dialogue choice) finally talks about his feelings directly with you for the first time instead of in roundabout ways (the dessert being "not enough" is it really the dessert you mean, Lucanis. is it.). Even though he is STILL reluctant to verbally admit his feelings or let Rook share their own at this point, I think that's more a narrative choice about saving those last emotional dialogue options for the big final battle. but it is another point where he does have to stop just following along and ACTIVELY choose that yes, yes sometimes loving is worth the risk of losing it. Even if someone takes it away from you later, even if you don't survive it, sometimes the love alone makes it worth it.

I have like another 5000 words I could add into about how Spite ties into all this, about how having the demon in him is something he both fears AND how it forces him to acknowledge that actually yes he DOES share the same base feelings/instincts Spite does in terms of not wanting to be told what to do. And how this in a way is part of what gives him permission to act on it since he can no longer just shove it down out of sight. but this post is long enough already so i'm just going to take the rest of this and gnaw on it all day like a chew toy I guess.

anyway. AHG. it is kind of frustrating that the culmination of his arc seems to be "and then he got the job he never wanted anyway" but I do think at least all this prepares him for it in a way Caterina actively failed to actually do on her own. He NEEDED that step away from his straightforward path. Whether he stays first talon or not, and with or without rook as a romantic partner, he's finally been able to explore ideas outside the expectations of others.

[nadinescholtes]

Horror Au what happened to Lunar?

Lunar looks up at the night sky, desperate he calls and yells.

Please, PLEASE! HELP THEM! They- they are dying. Moon is- I don’t know what to do! PLEASE! I’ll do anything!

Taurus appears behind Lunar.

We can’t…

Wh-

Gemini appears in front of Lunar.

This has nothing to do with Star Power, Lunar. As unfortunate it is we can’t save a planet from itself.

There must something we could do! I-I’m not affected! I don’t have any symptoms. Maybe there is a cure and I-

It’s not affecting you because your are an astral…well not fully like us.

We can’t be infected but you‘re still carry the virus in you. You can infect others. And we don’t know how it will work out with your powers. The virus in you could mutate further and infect people if you use your powers. Or it will become something new, make the negative star power grow stronger.

What no that-I…People can only get infected through phone calls and-

We can’t risk it. Because you’re capable to use negative and positive star power and have this virus in you, it can become catastrophic.

It’s not a good mix!

Wh-What does it mean? What’s going on?

We can’t let you stay here Lunar or anywhere else until we know more about your…condition. I’m sorry.

We will not kill you but we have to put you in quarantine with no communication devices or any other contact with living beings.

What now?! I-I can’t leave! My family needs me! Monty can still-

I’m sorry Lunar, they’re dead. Solar killed them. And Earth has lost to the virus, right now she is on a murderous rampage on the streets. Sun and Laia are about to lose too, give it a week or two.

…

Lunar collapses on his knees, too shocked to say anything.

We are sorry Lunar. The only thing I can do for you is to destroy this planet and end its suffering.

Please…don’t! There are still uninfected people, they could survive and find a cure.

Most unlikely but…as you wish. As long no one is useing star power, we leave them be …for now.

Lunar looks up at Taurus with the saddest eyes.

We are truly sorry Lunar…

And Taurus teleports Lunar to his new prison where he will be all alone, with no contact to anyone but the astrals.

[centrally-unplanned]

Anyway I wanted to write something a little more serious about the politics of the day - a trend many noticed in the 2024 election, and its aftermath, is all of these notable non-politicians jumping onto the Trump ship. You have certainly noticed the big ones doing it, the Musk-types. What I have also seen is the middle-road types - the podcasts slotting the admin into their current healthcare fad, the policy bloggers being like "Dear Trump, this is how to truly reform the government - my pet idea" and offering support. A sort of opportunistic bandwagoning. This does happen every election to some extent, but it is notable that it happened way, way less when Biden was elected.

Some view this through the lens of fear, of Trump's open willingness to tax or prosecute those who don't bend the knee. That is part of it, for sure. But the other part is that Trump doesn't really believe in all that much - and that is actually a pretty big asset in politics. If you are a "Progress Studies" blogger or a union rep or a tech CEO, does Trump disagree with any of your key issues? He might not! You can just "convince" him, that is actually on the table, and he might take up your cause. And the Republican Party - not always, absolutely not always, but sometimes - will be browbeaten into going along with his whims even if they contradict their previous ideology. If you are ambitious and play your cards right, the structure of the Trump admin can very much reward people along the lines of these pet issues.

This is something the Democratic party could not do. All policy from the Biden admin came from a decade+ process of being discussed within the party. There were absolutely, 100%, "factions" jockeying for influence, but it was insiders, pre-established orgs along known lines, who were doing that jockeying. Is there any big policy that the Biden admin pursued that truly surprised you? That you were like, "woah, where the fuck did Biden get this idea from?" Not really, right? Because the admin was in so many ways an extension of the party.

Now this can be a real strength when your political parties are strong. When the locus of politics is within parties, then naturally they should be informing directions, and your goal as an admin is to court them. But that is pretty much the opposite of the current US political landscape - political parties have never been weaker. Voters hate political insiders, primaries are completely open and people who openly oppose the party sometimes sweep them, voters don't get their political opinion or w/e from politicians or party orgs. Parties are downstream of where more and more political influence comes from (though ofc they are by no means powerless, this is all trendlines). If you are one of these political outsider types, the Joe Rogans or Progress Studies bloggers or crypto coalitions or whatever, the Democratic party is just not going to work with you? You will be "heard", but if you want influence you gotta put your decade+ into the party first.

But Trump? You just gotta show up and kiss the ring. For talented people, this is actually a much better deal. It probably won't work, but the odds are still better than the alternative. And the biggest looming wrinkle is that this strategy is being hamstrung by Trump being a total idiot and backstabbing asshole - imagine how effective these strategies would be if someone competent was doing it. His left-field ideas are not only "annexing Greenland", but also doing it in the most hamfisted way imaginable. The core idea here isn't that crazy btw! Greenland is pushing for greater independence from Denmark, but gets a ton of subsidies so is loath to lose them if they go solo. You can see how an intelligent operator charting some soft power politics here could maybe make something happen, but Trump is a fucking nob and can't do that. So he is often a bad vessel for your niche ideas. But at least he shows up to the game!

People sometimes really want politics to be ideological. They want a coherent political party with a unitary philosophy to implement a cohesive agenda. I get this appeal, but this just isn't how US politics, or democratic politics more widely, works. It is an endless process of factional recruitment for one-off reforms, and otherwise managerial policy (in)competence. Ideology is not elected, a "mandate" does not run for office. Some individual people win and then they invent a mandate afterwards. Democracy does not reveal consensus, it manufactures it. And the US is moving more towards that direction, not less.

My fear is Democrats, in "widening the tent", will focus too much on that internal party process, on trying to make the Democratic Party "coherently" something that is more appealing to the median voter. Valuable work, to be sure, but the other side is you need to make it more appealing to people of influence or talent. As others have commented, it is kind of baffling how the Biden administration committed itself to a policy of green electrification and banning foreign car imports, and somehow made an enemy of America's biggest domestic green electric car manufacturer. You need to be, on the margins, less committed to any specific ideology at all, and instead open to actually winning support from diverse factions. Otherwise the other side will always be more appealing to anyone not of your ideology, because they kind of don't care about ideology. The Dems are already the "bigger tent" party, this should be their wheelhouse. They just need to update their tactics for the modern era.

[blorbocedes]

Hiii - for the fic prompts:

girlcedes - 7. Trapped in a room/closet/elevator

Lewis is glaring at Nico like she orchestrated this.

"I have places to be too." Nico says out loud, in her general direction. They're standing as far you can socially distance on an elevator. An elevator that the intercom buzzed in and reported would take fifteen minutes to send in the guys to fix. That was twenty minutes ago. Such glitz and glamour to live in Monaco.

"Not you. Claustrophobia." Lewis grits her teeth. She's sitting in a corner, squatting in her Dior running shoes. Probably showing off her knees can still take it.

Nico's leaning by the glass mirror because she's wearing a white pantsuit.

Oh right. Claustrophobia. Nico always forgets because it's always funny, the cars they drive in is more cramped than the spacious elevator. But it's about control, she gets that. Lewis in a Formula 1 car is just an extension of her body. But Lewis would always keep the door of the drivers room open, back in Mercedes.

"How are you scared of this and not jumping off a plane? It should be child's cake to you. Hm, that's not right. Child's play?" Nico frowns trying to locate the metaphor in the medley of languages in her brain. She speaks mostly to keep Lewis distracted. Nico herself is not, her positive outlook mantras covered this. Negative thoughts cannot happen if you don't let it. That's why she never checked her portfolio after the AI company she invested in rugpulled millions. It simply does not exist if she doesn't give it the power to.

"Skydiving is incredibly safe," Lewis bites the bait, "It's safer than scuba diving. And you're in control the whole time."

"All it takes is one parachute not opening." Nico shrugs. Even the thought makes her shudder. Absolutely not.

"Good thing they strap you with two then." Lewis drawls. She doesn't say it, too graceful these days, but the idiot is implied.

Nico rolls her eyes but is beaten in the marketplace of ideas.

She turns to the mirror, her shoulder length blonde hair bouncing. There's a pimple cropping up under her chin, she can feel it. She presses down on it, warning it to stay there.

"Don't do that - you look fine." Lewis is frowning, looking up at Nico from where she's crouched.

Nico used to obsessively poke and prod at her face staring at the mirror as a teenager. She's a little embarrassed Lewis remembers from their days of sharing rooms during karting.

"It's the only mirror time I get. Vivi and I are very mindful of not passing any body insecurities to the girls. Entering the pre-teens is a very impressionable time." Nico explains. She doesn't need her daughters rubbing off on her complexes.

Lewis gets up, lithe like a cat, in her oversized crewneck. She looks pointedly at the lack of ring on Nico's hand. "How's the divorce going?"

Nico purses her lips. "Conscious uncoupling. Very well, thank you. How's Ferrari?" She switches the subject. "Learn any Italian yet?"

"I've downloaded Duolingo." Lewis smiles, sheepishly, the gap in her teeth is still charming even after all these years.

"I remember teaching you some." In bed, tangled up in each other, another lifetime ago.

"I'm sure none of that was usable, man."

"Hm. You should try ti va di fare dolce su e giù?" Nico smirks.

"What does it mean?" Lewis asks.

Nico just smiles in that way when she knows something Lewis doesn't. "I'm sure Leclerc will be down. Happy to... accommodate." The double entendre in her voice gives it away.

Lewis takes a step closer, her hand on the railing where Nico is standing. And suddenly, the elevator feels like a much smaller space, with nowhere to hide. She shakes her head, the rings on her tattooed hands glittering. Nico feels strangely naked without hers. "He's not my type."

Nico leans forward. "And who is?"

The elevator doors ding open. They are on Lewis' floor.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: The White Powder that Makes you into a goo

Arthur Machen: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the white powder Machen: it's about this white powder that turns you into a big blob of goo Barker: haha oh man i hate when that happens Barker: hahaha- oh Barker: oh shit i'm sorry Lor Gislason: bloop bloop i'm sitting right here

Machen: so there's this law student who's studying way too hard and he's just exhausted Machen: so he gets this white power that's supposed to give him more energy Barker: sound familiar steve? Stephen King: i don't really like to talk about that

Machen: the doctor prescribes this white powder that gives you energy Machen: but the chemist messes up Machen: and gives him the white powder that turns you into goo

King: so instead of getting the white powder that gives you energy he gets the white powder that turns you into goo? King: that seems like a pretty major mistake Machen: yeah its not ideal

Machen: now there's a thing about this white powder that turns you into goo Barker: oh yeah? is there? Barker: if you could describe the white powder that turns you into goo in a single word Barker: what would that word be? Machen: hmm well let me think Barker: c'mon just say it Barker: you know you want to

Machen: i guess if i had to describe the white powder that turns you into goo with just a single word Barker: oh god he's going to say it Machen: i think that word would be Barker: here we go Machen: queer Barker: ah ha ha! he said it! Barker: the absolute madman!

Machen: it's just a very queer sort of powder Barker: ahahaha he said it! Machen: i don't see what's so funny Machen: i'm just accurately describing the powder King: it's nothing Arthur, just ignore him King: finish your story

Machen: so they take the white powder and analyze it Machen: and it turns out Machen: that it was actually not medicine at all Machen: they accidentally gave the guy the vinum sabbati that they use for satanic mass Machen: it's a real whoopsie doodle

King: so he was actually taking vinum sabbati instead? that explains it Barker: does it steve? does it explain it? King: oh yeah everyone knows that vinum sabbati separates your spiritual higher self from your corporeal sludge Barker: King: it's like that star trek tng episode Barker: what Poe: oh yeah, skin of evil King: that's the one

Koontz: so vinum sabbati turns you into a goo? King: that's right Koontz: is that what happened to lor King: dean! you can't just say that! King: it's very rude Gislason: bloop bloop yeah no that's what happened

Barker: i think if there's one lesson to be learned here Barker: its that, given the chance Barker: i would definitely take the white powder that turns you into a goo Barker: i think i speak for everyone here

Poe: oh i don't know about that clive Koontz: i wanna be a goo too! Poe: you don't know what we're talking about dean

Fitz James O'Brien: so i hear you're in the market for the white powder that turns you into a goo O'Brien: i can get you some of the white powder that turns you into a goo O'Brien: if you're cool Barker: oh yeah yeah we're cool King: do you have any other kinds of white powder

Poe: steve King: i mean no no you're right that's all behind me King: stay strong steve stay strong!

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello!

What tipe of student do you think Harry were? Was he academicaly average? Do you think that any professor had him as favorite student?

Well, we know his O.W.L grades:

(HBP)

And these are great grades. Like, E is Exceeds Expectations because it exceeds expectations, it's beyond what's required.

O.W.Ls loosely mirror irl O-levels that are taken at 16, and N.E.W.Ts loosely mirror A-levels that are taken at 18 (the grading system and the exam system have changed over the years). But, if we look at the grades for the GCSE and O-Levels compared to the O.W.L, I think it would be something like this:

GCSE grades 9 to 4 (A* to C) – Certificate and qualification awarded. At GCSE, considered a 'standard pass', and awards a qualification at Level 2. GCSE grades 3 to 1 (D to G) – Certificate and qualification awarded. At GCSE, awards a qualification at Level 1. U: ungraded/unclassified – no certificate or qualification awarded.

(From Wikipedia + my WW additions)

Since, let's be real, the Wizarding World is using an older standard than the muggle one. Also, this fits the descriptions we get of the grades in the W.O.M.B.A.T.s exams pretty well:

Passing: Outstanding - CONGRATULATIONS! Your exemplary powers of deduction and a formidable knowledge of the inner workings of the magical world reveal you to be a witch or wizard of genuine skill and learning. This first examination has barely tested you. We look forward to challenging you to a further and more difficult examination in due course. Exceeds Expectations - Well done - a most creditable performance! We are impressed by the breadth of your magical knowledge and your level of insight into the wizarding world. We hope that you will attempt our next, and more difficult, examination in due course. Passing: Acceptable - We are pleased to tell you that you have passed your Grade 1 W.O.M.B.A.T. Your knowledge of the workings of the wizarding world demonstrates real magical potential. We hope that you will continue to study further and attempt W.O.M.B.A.T. Grade 2 in due course. Failing: Poor - Alas - we regret to inform you that you have narrowly failed your Grade 1 W.O.M.B.A.T. This may have been due to factors outside your control (eg: poltergeist intervention, examination nerves or a malfunctioning quill.). Please do not disconsolate. Another examination will present itself in due course, should you wish to try again. Dreadful - We are sorry to inform you that you have failed your Grade 1 W.O.M.B.A.T. A little further study of the textbooks is recommended. Should you wish to try again, a grade 2 W.O.M.B.A.T. will present itself in due course. Troll - You would appear either to have abandoned the test due to factors outside your control (eg, earthquake, poltergeist attack), or else you are a troll, in which case you are to be congratulated on being able to use a computer and have achieved the grade of O.F.T. (Outstanding for Trolls).

(Source. If you want to take the W.O.M.B.A.Ts exams, you can here)

The point is that E is a good grade and Harry (and Ron) can get very good grades with little to no study. If they had studied as much as Hermione, they would be O students too.

Like, we see N.E.W.T Potions has only 12 out of the original 40 in the whole year:

When they arrived in the corridor they saw that there were only a dozen people progressing to N.E.W.T. level. Crabbe and Goyle had evidently failed to achieve the required O.W.L. grade, but four Slytherins had made it through, including Malfoy. Four Ravenclaws were there, and one Hufflepuff, Ernie Macmillan, whom Harry liked despite his rather pompous manner.

(HBP)

Only 12 out of 40 get an E or O in Potions (Harry, Ron & Hermione are the only Gryffindors in the class). We know Neville managed an E in Charms but only got an A in Transfiguration. Getting an E is considered hard and not something everyone does. I mean, in DADA, even Hermione didn't get an O! Becouse being "really good" gets an E, you gotta be truly exceptional to get an O.

The "average" student passes 3-5 O.W.Ls (Neville only passed 4 O.W.Ls. Fred and George passed 3 each and it doesn't seem odd to anyone - though in their case it's not because they're average, but because they didn't care about school), good students probably get 6-7 O.W.Ls and very good students get 8-10 O.W.Ls with only extremely talented students passing more than that. And passing doesn't inherently qualify you for N.E.W.T classes. So, Harry (7 O.W.Ls, and he might've passed history with an A if it wasn't for the visions from Voldemort since he didn't even finish the exam) and Ron (7 O.W.Ls) are actually above-average students in terms of grades.

(Some subjects, like Charms, are considered easier than subjects like Potions and Transfiguration, so the percentages there would look a little different)

And his teachers think of him positively for the most part:

“You see what you expect to see, Severus,” said Dumbledore, without raising his eyes from a copy of Transfiguration Today. “Other teachers report that the boy is modest, likable, and reasonably talented. Personally, I find him an engaging child.”

(DH)

McGonagall has no qualms about Harry wanting to be an auror because she knows he is intelligent:

“You’d need top grades for that,” said Professor McGonagall, extracting a small, dark leaflet from under the mass on her desk and opening it. “They ask for a minimum of five N.E.W.T.s, and nothing under ‘Exceeds Expectations’ grade, I see. Then you would be required to undergo a stringent series of character and aptitude tests at the Auror office. It’s a difficult career path, Potter; they only take the best. In fact, I don’t think anybody has been taken on in the last three years.” [...] “I would also advise Transfiguration, because Aurors frequently need to Transfigure or Untransfigure in their work. And I ought to tell you now, Potter, that I do not accept students into my N.E.W.T. classes unless they have achieved ‘Exceeds Expectations’ or higher at Ordinary Wizarding Level. I’d say you’re averaging ‘Acceptable’ at the moment, so you’ll need to put in some good hard work before the exams to stand a chance of continuing. Then you ought to do Charms, always useful, and Potions. Yes, Potter, Potions,” she added, with the merest flicker of a smile. “Poisons and antidotes are essential study for Aurors. And I must tell you that Professor Snape absolutely refuses to take students who get anything other than ‘Outstanding’ in their O.W.L.s, so —”

(OotP)

Harry reminds me a lot of my younger brother when he was a high school student honestly (Ron, too, tbh). Because he's really smart, and he could get Os (As) in all his subjects if he felt like it and put it the effort, and McGonagall knows this. The only reason he doesn't get top grades is because he doesn't apply himself, and we see it in the books repeatedly.

We see he does his homework on time, but he usually stays up on the last night to make it, like Ron:

“Come on, we’ve got to get this finished some time before dawn,” he said briskly to Harry, pulling Professor Sinistra’s essay back toward him. Hermione was looking at Ron with an odd expression on her face. “Oh, give them here,” she said abruptly. “What?” said Ron. “Give them to me, I’ll look through them and correct them,” she said. “Are you serious? Ah, Hermione, you’re a lifesaver,” said Ron, “what can I — ?” “What you can say is, ‘We promise we’ll never leave our homework this late again,’ ” she said, holding out both hands for their essays, but she looked slightly amused all the same. “Thanks a million, Hermione,” said Harry weakly, passing over his essay and sinking back into his armchair, rubbing his eyes.

(OotP)

And that he doesn't study for exams as much as he could (he usually spends the end of the year at the hospital wing, so, it makes sense). Basically, Harry is really smart and he manages to get passing grades on basically no study at all. That's really impressive. Like, McGonagall, I believe that with just minimal effort he could be an almost all-Os student. And when he does study just a little more (like to the O.W.Ls) he does get higher grades.

But he did read his school books before his first year:

Harry kept to his room, with his new owl for company. He had decided to call her Hedwig, a name he had found in A History of Magic. His school books were very interesting. He lay on his bed reading late into the night, Hedwig swooping in and out of the open window as she pleased.

(PS)

And he entered his first Potions class with the intention of studying properly, he read the books before class in the measly month he had to prepare:

“I don’t know, sir.” “Thought you wouldn’t open a book before coming, eh, Potter?” Harry forced himself to keep looking straight into those cold eyes. He had looked through his books at the Dursleys’, but did Snape expect him to remember everything in One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi?

(PS)

So, I think, in canon, since Harry has so much else going on (mysteries and misadventures) and Ron is a bad influence on his studies (I love Ron, but he is a bad influence on Harry's studies), he waits with most of his assignments to the last moment and doesn't study as much as he could. But he does make them and except for Potions with Snape, he gets decent grades for them. If he had more free time without a mystery to solve, we'd probably see him doing homework earlier and maybe putting in more effort. But even with close to minimal effort (which is what he does), he is a student with good grades who most teachers clearly see as smart and capable.

Edit becouse I forgot to mention it: we see Harry apply himself to studying potions in HBP when he spends hours deciphering the Prince's notes, and lo and behold, when Harry takes time to study he becomes an O student at the top of the class in his supposedly "worst subject". Just goes to show it's all about effort for him because he has the brain and talent.

Harry is the student that if Hogwarts had parent-teacher conferences (and Harry had parents), McGonagall would be all like: "He is bright and has potential if he only applied himself".

And that sentence is Harry as a student in a nutshell.

[nakylvr]

Okay so first request is in fact not a smut one! Instead i would like to request the kats reaction to gn reader being clumsy and stupid and injuring themself in ridiculous ways

Great example: my dumbass last night. I was looking for my scissors and forgot I had them on my lap and then turned and punctured myself with my scissors by my pelvic area so yesterday and today I've been having trouble walking and moving my left leg 😭

N e ways i would just like comfort from the kats bc i am a stupid clumsy idiot

-trans dude anon

as someone who rarely gets injured but when injured is injured extremely bad...i tried my best here 😭🙏

warnings/tags: established relationship, gn!reader, mild language

sophia

sophia is the least surprised whenever someone gets hurt, including you. will she react the same every time as if you're bleeding out dying even when you just stub your toe on something? yes. but, it's the thought that counts! so when she hears a yelp from inside the apartment, she's not surprised when she rounds the corner to see you mumbling under your breath about how that table should be moved by now while standing on one leg. and yet, she still rushes over to you asking if you're okay and what happened. depending on how bad the injury is determines how badly she freaks out, and if there's any blood whatsoever she's taking it like you're bleeding out, putting you on the couch and getting the first aid kit. it's safe to say she's gotten used to you getting injured randomly throughout the day, but she still babies you every time like it's the first time getting hurt around her. it's the same if you're sick. she'll do anything to make sure you feel better especially if it was a more serious injury, doing literally everything before you can even think of asking her. she just knows. it's a little scary sometimes.

manon

manon is also not that surprised whenever you get hurt because of how many times it happens. she expects it by now but it still shocks her when she hears you yell from across the room or wherever you are. she is already walking towards you with the first aid kit before you can even call for her and she just shakes her head seeing you get hurt doing something stupid again. that being said, she also babies you, but not as much as sophia. she likes taking care of you and she doesn't get to do it often, so she does everything in her power when she is. she makes sure you're completely okay before helping you into bed or on the couch and puts the first aid kit away before coming back to you. her go to way to comfort anyone, including herself is watching comfort shows/movies, so that's exactly what she does once she ensures you're okay and she can relax a little bit, laying down next to you and putting something you like on the tv. she may call you an idiot for the ways you get hurt sometimes, but she means well and you can tell in her eyes that she's genuine every time she helps you whenever you injure yourself accidentally.

daniela

dani might or might not laugh in your face at times depending on how you got hurt. if she witnessed it especially. it's her first instinct if it's funny how you got hurt before she quickly hurries over to you and checks to see if you're okay. she doesn't mean to laugh, she just honestly can't help it sometimes. she does apologize for laughing if you're actually hurt, and she wouldn't do it again if it was a serious injury. she might actually scold you a little bit if it was a bad injury because of your clumsy ass while helping you with the first aid kit, mumbling curses under her breath about how one day you'll hurt yourself really bad. it's a little surprising but just tell her that you're fine, that you won't hurt yourself too badly, and she'll lighten up a little bit. but, she's not leaving your side ever. she knows you well enough to know you can get injured anywhere so she now does everything to ensure you don't get hurt, but it still happens sometimes unfortunately for her. she'll still scold you after every time.

lara

lara also might laugh, occasionally if she knows you're not seriously hurt. she can tell the difference in how you react when you get hurt if it's serious or not, and that's what determines how she reacts to it. if it's not serious, she just shakes her head while jokingly saying how clumsy you are but still helping you and babying you a bit. if it's serious then she's serious, she doesn't fuck around when you're actually hurt. she is immediately getting the first aid kit when she hears you yell and she is the calmest one to help you with the injury. the way her whole demeanor changes is surprising every time, and when she looks at you and asks if you're okay with genuine eyes and a soft voice you just fall more in love with her. she won't leave your side until she knows 100% you're okay and back to normal, calling out of schedules if she has to to make sure you're better.

megan

megan is nearly as bad as you. it's terrible. one of you is injured most of the time if not both of you. one day she'll be helping you and the next you'll be helping her it's never ending honestly. and somehow she freaks out every time you get hurt. as if you're dying on her! she tries her best to help you but there are times where she just gives you reassuring words while you patch yourself up if she can't. but she is doing everything under the sun for you if you get hurt more seriously. anything you ask of her she will do, and she'll ask you every ten minutes if you need anything or how you're doing. you want something to eat? she's driving to your favorite place and bringing it back for you. you want to watch a movie and relax? she's bringing every blanket and pillow possible and dimming the lights in case you fall asleep. she's down bad and it shows whenever you're hurt.

[nonphoto-blue]

Lucky Lucky ꕤ Cho Hyun-ju x Reader [1/?]

Read on AO3 Masterlist Summary: After your previous manager runs away to America with the funds meant to kickstart your debut, your band 4tune is left to pick up the pieces in an impending scandal. The new manager, Cho Hyun-ju, says she’ll do everything to ensure your debut is successful, but it’s a long road until she gains your trust, especially when her own secrets come to light. Or, the kpop/krock/band AU no one asked for.

Warnings: Slowwwww burn. Kind of an inherent power imbalance but reader isn't taking bs from anyone, and reader is 20+. Reader is AFAB and uses she/her. She's implied to be Korean/from South Korea but no physical description is used.

A/N: So I've had the horrible idea of a kpop au for Squid Game since the first season came out. Originally I'd thought of a Sangwoo x Reader fic but it felt in bad taste at the time. Season 2 came out and I can't stop thinking about Hyun-ju so uh. You're getting this.

Five years. You’ve been in trainee hell for five years, learning the ins and outs of PR, songwriting, language, appearances, how to fucking smile at a camera when all you wanted to do was sing and play guitar and look out at a crowd with more people than you can count on your hands. All for your dreams to be stolen away, packed up in bags and expedite-shipped to the United States. 

If you could go back in time to tell your past self to save herself the trouble and give up music altogether, you’d consider it. Or at least tell her to flip off the agency scout the second he approaches. Sure, you’d still be busking on the street, but you’d be spared this bullshit and continue life with hope still. You don’t want to be an idol. You want to be– you are a musician, and the evidence was going to be your debut.

Your band, 4tune, is slated to record your debut in a month, and begin promotions just a couple months from now, but thanks to your no-good-money-stealing-piece-of-shit ex-manager, the money set aside for appearances and advertising is no longer in the company’s bank account. With grim faces, you, your bandmates, and a few members of the company higher ups gather around a table in an emergency meeting.

“It’s ridiculous,” Se-mi crosses her arms across her chest, huffing her bangs out of her eyes. “What a coward.” She stands, crossing to a floor-length window and staring at the skyline of Mapo-gu, disbelief written on her face. 

Your mouth forms a thin line. “Who just… takes the money and runs? How was he allowed to take all of it anyway?”

“That’s all we know,” the CEO, Hwang In-ho, murmurs. He laces his fingers together and scans the rest of the band’s faces as you take in the not-quite-death-sentence he delivered your group. “We’ve got the police in South Korea and the United States investigating, but they haven’t found him yet.”

“So what does this mean for 4tune? I mean, are we… still going to debut?” Young-mi asks. 

“We don’t have a manager, we don’t have money, we don’t have a debut.” Jun-hee puts a hand on her forehead, closing her eyes in exasperation. 

“Actually,” In-ho raises a finger. “We do have a new manager for you. She couldn’t make this meeting, but she’s coming up from Busan after lunch. You’ll meet her tonight or tomorrow.” He leans forward in his seat, and rests both arms on the table in front of him. “Rest assured, you will debut.”

You can’t help but feel your lips curl into a sneer. A new manager? Who’s to say this one won’t make off with whatever scraps of money are left? You hear Se-mi scoff from the window, her thoughts echoing your own. Jun-hee looks hesitant, but Young-mi looks up at In-ho with hope.

“What’s her name? What’s she like?”

“Cho Hyun-ju. She’s an old acquaintance.” Looking over the group’s faces, In-ho stands, and begins to make his way to the meeting room door. “I’ve known her for a long time. She’s a good person.” Hardly glowing praise, but you suppose anyone would be better than the ex-manager. The other company members follow In-ho out of the room, meeting adjourned, leaving just your group members with their thoughts.

Your gaze lingers on the frosted glass door they left from. “Great. A manager, but no money. She can drive us around and shit, but we have nowhere to go. What’s the point?” Your words are bitter, spat in sorrowful resignation. 

Young-mi, ever the optimist, takes your hand in her’s. “Let’s give her a chance. In-ho sajangnim vouched for her, I say we see how she clicks with us before giving up on her.” She smiles meekly at the other members. None of you share her optimism, but with a shared side eye, the rest of you begrudgingly hear Young-mi out and agree.

“Fine,” you offer. “But if she does anything remotely shady I’m clawing my way out of this contract.” ꕤ

Despite the sudden wrench in 4tune’s future plans, you all have a schedule to uphold, so you go through the motions as if nothing was wrong. After a short break for lunch, language classes, pose training, you finally make it to the only part of training that doesn’t feel like a chore: rehearsal as a whole band. 

The rehearsal space is intimate; a small room with warm wood-panel flooring and a three-person couch in the corner. Se-mi’s drum kit is already set up on the drum rug, as is Young-mi’s keyboard and three amps, one for Young-mi’s bass, one for Jun-hee’s guitar, and one for yours, as well as a vocal mic on a long arm. Stepping into the space brings an energy you thought would be lost following this morning’s bad news, and you place your guitar’s hard case down with a determined vigor.

You unlatch the case, and pull out your guitar, a Fender Lite Ash Telecaster. The strap rests perfectly on your shoulder, the neck fitting perfectly in your left hand, a guitar pick in your right. The quarter-inch cable plugs into your guitar with a satisfying click and the amp hums to life when you switch it on. You set upon tuning your guitar, but it doesn’t take much adjustment for any member of the band, and soon your group is playing the first notes of what will be your title track for your debut.

It’s an upbeat song, and the lyrics are inherently hopeful and optimistic. You feel the stress pouring out of you as you hear how well the band plays together. From the wailing of Jun-hee’s guitar, to the machine-like precision of Se-mi’s drumming, to the effortless jumping from keys to bass by Young-mi, pride fills your heart knowing that you’re collaborating, and creating something beautiful in spite of everything going wrong.

You play rhythm guitar and sing. Closing your eyes, you pour your heart and soul into the high-energy chorus, the softer verses, and everything in between. As the outro plays out and you all play your final notes, a soft applause that crescendos into a quick flurry of claps breaks through your reverie. 

You hadn’t noticed when she came in, but at the door stands an unfamiliar woman. She’s tall, and seems a bit younger than In-ho. Her hair is cut at her shoulders with blunt bangs reaching her eyebrows. She’s dressed well, and she’s not standing timidly per-se, but there’s an awkwardness to how she holds herself, like she’s unsure if she’s allowed in this space.

“I’m sorry,” she smiles at the band. “I was told you were in this practice room and I heard you playing. You all sound amazing.”

Young-mi smiles back. “You must be the new manager! It’s nice to meet you! I’m-”

“Young-mi, right?” Young-mi nods. The woman turns to the drumset, “You’re Se-mi,” to the lead guitarist, “and Jun-hee,” and then she turns to you, and says your name so tenderly, so kindly, every fiber of your being is shouting at you to give her a chance. “And yes, I’m Cho Hyun-ju, your new manager.” ꕤ

Rehearsal stagnates after Hyun-ju’s arrival as the band seems more interested in the new arrival than playing, but you keep your guitar plugged in and guitar strap on. Young-mi puts down her bass and steps away from her keyboard to approach Hyun-ju immediately, Jun-hee following soon after. You pluck out a few notes here and there, trying to at least try to get through your part of the next song, but after Se-mi stands up from her drumset, you give up trying to continue rehearsal.

Hyun-ju seated herself on the couch in the corner. Jun-hee and Se-mi stand in front of her, and Young-mi sits beside her. “I’m excited to work with you all,” Hyun-ju half-bows in her seat. “You sounded amazing playing just now, your debut will be a hit, I can just feel it.”

“We’re happy to have you here too. I’m sure you’ve heard but our last manager flaked out on us.” Se-mi explains. Hyun-ju hums a condolence, eyes casting down to the ground. “We’re almost ready to record our album, so I’m sure you’ll have a lot to do coming up.”

You clear your throat, walking over to the group. “What experience do you have managing?” You don’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it does. It’s supposed to be a light conversation about her work history, not an interrogation into her credentials. Hyun-ju’s face falters at the stern tone, and you kick yourself internally.

“Managing specifically, I've done most of the tasks individually before. That is, things like schedule management and driving and the like. I do have experience in the music and idol industry outside of management.”

You try to school your expression, you really do, and you pull your lips into a not-quite-smile that ends up looking more like a grimace. “Well then,” you push out, “I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

[lolitastories]

This Is Mine

Rafe Cameron

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

“Do you think she looks like me?” I look up from our lunch towards Rafe holding our daughter beside his face and smiling.

“No, thankfully.” I bluntly say as I try to hold back a laugh. “She looks like her real dad.” I shrug as I take a piece of chicken and stuff it in my mouth. I almost choked seeing the infamous Rafe Cameron stare, he didn’t like what I had just said.

“I know you are lying but if that were true, I wouldn’t care.” He pulls our girl closer and gives her a big kiss on her lovable chubby cheeks. “I am here; she is mine.” How could I make fun of that? As I look at them in awe the air around us changes. He stood up and placed her on the highchair. Making sure she was secure he pulled his chair around and closer to mine. My posture straightened and I could no longer remember how to breathe properly. I tried to ignore his antics of staring at me until I turned and gave him some attention but as soon as I felt his hands on mine, I was met with his blue eyes. “I know we have a deal set between us about what this was but,” I wish my eyes could translate why my heart was beating so fast, so maybe the next words that came out of his mouth would allow me to say what I felt. “We need to talk about it again.” His calm demeanor was something not many people saw, maybe this was the time to talk about it again.

“Okay.” His eyes widened in surprise. His head turns like a little puppy wondering if he heard correctly. “But not here,”

“Right.” He nods. “I will get the car.” I couldn’t ignore how excitedly he jumped out his chair and rushed towards the parking lot. When I looked back, I saw our daughter's head turned towards the direction her father had just gone in.

“Why does he get both things huh?” I ask her in a sweet voice. Her head turns towards my voice and a growing smile appears. “You look like your daddy, and you are obviously obsessed with him,” She giggled like she knew what I was talking about. “Who can blame you?’ I let out a sigh in defeat.

“Here you go ma’am. Have a nice day.” The waitress smiles as she hands me Rafe's card. He must have paid on his way out.

“Thank you, you too.” I put the card in my purse and grabbed our daughter. As we walked towards the parking lot I couldn’t help but admire Rafe. When I left home one thing, I was worried about was doing this by myself. Don’t get me wrong I could handle things from a hammer to a chainsaw, but it didn’t mean I wanted to. I had men in my family who were always there but here? If Rafe hadn’t showed up I would have lost all my will power. Tell me if it's bad but I enjoy watching men do things for me and especially Rafe. Like when he comes around the house he notices little things and gets to fixing it. How just him backing up the truck to pick me and our daughter up so we don’t walk down the long parking lot was admirable. How good he looks in his truck, how good it was to call him my baby’s father.

“Ready?” He smiles from the driver's seat as he places the car in park. He opens the door and gets out rushing towards us. Our baby giggling at his antics and stretching to get a hold of him.

“I will never be able to compete with you huh?” I joke seeing those two so in love with each other. Rafe chuckles. We both move to the back seat and make sure she is secure in her car seat.

“You don’t have to, you know.” He finds my face of confusion as he turns around and shuts the door of our daughter.

“I know.” I say with an uneasy smile. I walked over and checked that she was doing okay through the opened window. I smile seeing her happy with her Paci. When I go to turn around, I feel two hands land on my hip. They carefully circle around my waist, his chest pressed up against my back as he pulls us closer. His chin rests on my right shoulder and my head immediately falls back against his.

“She loves her mommy,” He whispers. I could feel his warm breath hoovering the crook of my neck. “I love her mommy.” I opened my mouth to speak but the only thing that came out was a shaking breath. He starts placing kisses on my shoulder and moves up until he is just below my ear. “We would go crazy without mommy,” Shit. I bit my lip holding back a groan. His hand slowly moves upward. Putting some pressure as it slides over my stomach and my chest. My chest falls heavily when in a split second he gently squeezes my neck and then moves up to grip my chin. He places one last kiss below my ear before he kisses along my jaw, his hand turning my head towards him. My eyes are shut, and I feel his warm breath along my lips as he hoovers above them. “I am going crazy without her kisses,” My hands involuntarily grip his forearm but not to push it away. No, I need to make sure he was here; to release all this feeling he was making me feel.

“Rafe,” My throat felt dry. His hand laid flatly on the middle of my lower stomach. The simple push of his palm had me lightheaded.

“Ready to go home?”

“Uh-huh” I nod dumbly. His one hand on my stomach grips my hip and the other moves to rest on my cheek. He places a quick kiss on my cheek and simply removes himself from me. What the hell just happened? Sure, Rafe has tried to make advances, but it had never landed this far, I had never allowed him to go this far. I turned towards him lost when I opened my eyes.

“Come on,” He smiles. That idiot knew what he had done. He grabs my hand, and I don’t argue as he pulls me around the truck and towards the passenger door. “She needs to nap.” He opens the door and thankfully he helps me in because my legs couldn’t function correctly. Once he places my seatbelt on, he closes the door and rushes to the driver side. My hands stay entwined on my lap and my eyes on the window for the entire car ride.  I had told him what I wanted before our daughter arrived. He could see her and spend time whenever he felt like it. She would live with me but when he chose, she could stay with him. He always chooses to sleep on the couch then put her through discomfort having to adjust to a different setting. When it came to us, I told him we were only friends. He agreed knowing it was too much for us to take in. He started working and expanding his father's company while our daughter wasn’t here yet. I finished college and bought a house, of course with a little help from Rafe.  We were so busy preparing for her that we barely saw each other, other than the ultrasounds and other important baby things. When she was born, we became comfortable with being together, it wasn’t that hard to fall into the rhythm again. But now since our baby is 9 months old it has given us more time together. When she is preoccupied with her toys or taking a nap, she leaves us with having to talk to each other. It felt good having him around. It almost felt like before, when we were dating. “Are you expecting company?” I started to shake my head but freeze when I saw a familiar truck in the driveway.

“Rafe?” I whisper. He hums in response. “No questions asked,” I begin. “Can we go to your house?” I look at him with pleading eyes. Thankfully he only nodded and continued driving down the road. I let out a sigh and turned in my seat to face him. “Seems like my family is in town.” I watched as his jaw tensed and his fingers gripped the steering wheel.

“You said-”

“I know what I said.” I interrupted him. “They aren’t bad people Rafe they are-they have changed.” I let out. I slouch back down on the seat. “They love me, we just didn’t show it.”

“To you” He bluntly said. “You told me how they excluded you. How they belittle you and how you feel unseen and judged by them, how is that love?” His voice was rising with each word.

“You don’t understand Rafe.”

“¿Really?! I don’t understand what an unloving family is?” My lips fall silent. “I know you care too much for them to see their faults, but you can’t go back to the person you once were when you arrived on the island.”

“Am not Rafe.” I grab his hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze. “Back then I held too much back, and it caused years of built-up feelings but you have helped me, she has helped me.” I look back and see her small feet playfully hit the seat. “I don’t need their validation, but I can’t keep her away from meeting her family.” Rafe lets out a frustrated sigh coming to terms with my words.

“I don’t want-”

“They won’t.” I know he was scared of what they might say and what their words will cause in me. I don’t mention it much, but we had a fight, it was the first and only. I mentioned my father's words against him and Rafe took it like those words were the reason I chose to stay away from him and primarily not want to be with him. I explained it wasn’t the case, and we let it go, at least I did. “I know what I have and what I want. They don’t decide in my life anymore and when it comes to our daughter, we won’t allow even a simple word to cause her harm”

“I respect your choice, and I will be right there with you.” He whispers. I looked around seeing how we made it to his house. It was a two story, white, near the water, glass everywhere, just like I remember. We stayed silent until our little monster started fussing. “Let's get her to bed” I slightly chuckle and nod my head. I took my time going into his house. I watched as he got her out of his truck and walked up stairs to put her to nap. I finished eyeing everything in the living room before my feet were dragging me up the stairs. When I turned the corner, I saw Rafe leaning against the doorway and just looking into the room. “Sorry, she is-I, I just love looking at her sleep.” I nod honestly not caring much for his words. It made my heart melt, but my body and mind were being filled by other things. I grab on to his hand and pull him away from the door. “She must have been very tired because she fell right to sleep.” His words were thrown straight out the window. He continued talking while he followed as I was leading him towards his bedroom.  “I love that she has your eyes-” His mouth rapidly closed when I pushed him towards the bed and made him sit on the end of his bed.

“Thank you for being patient with me.” I whisper as I walk to stand in between his legs. His head slowly moves up to look at me. “I have done something thinking in private.” I innocently say. I move my hands up to unbutton my blouse.  “And I think we have spent enough time apart and I can’t bear it any longer,” Rafe grabs onto my hips and I straddle him.

“I’ve been thinking the same damn thing.” He didn’t waste any time pulling down the string strap of my tank top down and griping the flesh of my breast. “You know how hard it has been to be near you and not have you the past 16 months?” I groan as he pulls forward and takes a mouth full of my breast.

“I wouldn’t have blamed you- oh fuck” I groan. My hips moving is rhythm, grinding down on him. “If you choose-” I let another groan but this time it was of frustration.

“Did you?” As he said that he gripped the front of my top and pulled it down with force. I shake my head rapidly. “Good. Because you feel the same thing I feel.” His big hands grip the side of my face pulling me closer. “We only and will ever just need each other.” It was like following a light. “Right?” He grins slowly nodding and I was in a trance as I began to nod too. He smashes his lips on mine and eager I take a fist pull of his shirt. Our mouths danced together and spoke about how much they have missed each other.

“Rafe” I moaned. I continued to grind my hips against him, I could feel him growing bigger. His tongue slipped in, and he began to explore.

“Tell me you missed me?” He said pulling apart but only to flip us around, so he was now on top of me. His finger urgently removed the hair that had fallen on my face.

“I’ve missed you so much Rafe.” I take my time to touch his face. My fingers outlining his lips, “I’ve missed your lips,” I move up his eyes. “How I missed seeing your eyes so close,” My finger slowly moved down his face and down his chest. “I missed how you feel when you hold me,” A small groan escapes his lips when my hand slips past his waistline and into his boxers. “When you’re in me?” I tease.

“Baby we got less than 20 minutes before she wakes up,” Rafe closes his eyes. He lets his head fall in the crook of my neck.

“Lost your talent of making me cum in less than 5 minutes?” His head rises and I give him a challenging look.

“That's not something you can just unlearn,” I bit my lip holding back a smile. “I just want this to be special,” Too much talking. I wrap my fingers around his cock and slowly with pressure start stroking him.

“Rafe we will have other occasions to take our time but right now I need you to fuck me, okay?” I see him nod eagerly. He moves to take my hand away and he sits up.

  “I will not agree to 5 minutes,” he said in a stern voice as he took his pants off. “I will use those 20 minutes wisely.” He moves on to remove my pants and my panties along with them. I watch him move his hand down and begin stroking his cock. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my mouth around him. Feel as his length and width stretched my mouth. Circle my tongue around his red leaking tip and suck everything he had in him.

“Baby,” I whine. I spread my legs and lifted my hips a little, unable to control myself. I needed him “Please?” Having him look down on me as I shamefully scoot slowly closer to him, begging for him, it almost causes tears to fill my eyes.

“Fuck, my love, let me enjoy this view a little longer.” I throw my head back feeling his hand move to feel my clit. I moan loving how his long finger glides through it.

“Rafe?!” I let out a cry for the loss of his fingers. I look up and see a grin on his face as he uses my juices to lube his cock some more. “Please fuck me or I swear to god I wi-”

“You will what?!” I stay quiet feeling him slowly lower his whole body over me. One hand holding him up, so he doesn’t crush me as the other one is moving his tip along my clit. “You won’t do nothing, I will remind you how cock drunk I made you that you couldn’t even remember how to breathe,” I was going to let a certain F work slip out until I felt my walls split open. His cock slowly and dreadfully moved it until he could no longer. “Feel that?” I flinched when he pressed his palm on my lower stomach. I let out a moan as he begins to slip out, my walls tightening around him. “Feels so fucking good,” He groans as falls into a steady rhythm. Slowly moving faster and faster.

“Rafe!” I moaned but his hand quickly moved to quiet me. One hand on my mouth while the other pushes my hip down to meet his.

“Shhh.” He whispers in my ear before moving down towards my chest and circling my nipple. He bites it and pulls it with his teeth creating and even more immense pleasure over my body. He lets go but continues his attack on the other. His thrust hitting my pelvis made my eyes roll to the back of my head. My groans and moans silence by his hand. “Fuck,” He grunts. “So desperate to have my cock in you that you allowed me to go in raw-” Shit his words alone could make me cum. “Didn’t even think of the possibility of having another baby be created right here? right now? huh” My eyes widened at the realization. “It's too late for that now. I’m too addicted to this pussy and how well it is tightening around me to put on a fucking condom” I grip him hand and try to push it down. He moves upwards to be on my eyes level, and he continues to fuck into me with ease. He shakes his head ignoring my plea to remove his hand. “Don’t you want another piece of me and you?” He taunts lovingly. “We are doing great with the first one. Why not add another to our family?” He sees my eyes contemplating it. His hip starts making long but harsher strides. I could feel our juices spilling out of me. “What do you say?” My mouth was dry. His tip was hitting just the perfect spot making my mind become a haze.

“I-” I was unable to let out a word. I felt the coil in my stomach tighten. My legs lock arm his waist pulling him closer.

“Tell me you want to make me a daddy again.” I threw my head back knowing it was a decision to be made in the right mind but as I nod, they only thing my mind had in it was how good he was fucking me right now. “Tell me” He grips my chin making me face him.

“I want to have your baby, please” He smiles in victory. Pulls us closer to meet his lips, not letting go as we moan into each other's mouths. My nails digging into his back as mine arches to take everything he was willing to give. We cum as we held each other close.

“Fuck-me,” He groans falling to his side and taking me with him. My head falls into his chest as we both try to regain our breaths.

“Again?” I whisper with a laugh.

“Honey you just have to say the word,” I look up, finding him already staring down at me.

“Our daughter will be up soon so no” I push him away playfully and move to stand but of course Rafe wouldn’t allow that.

“Let her tell us when she is awake,” I fall back into his arms. One of his hands removed tracing my face. “Can give us time to really talk about this.” I groaned a bit but understood it needed to be done. I met his eyes, and I began to talk.

“I am really grateful you were so patient with me. I know it wasn’t easy, but I needed this time.” He nods as he continues to listen. “My feelings for you never changed but I needed to do what was right for her. I needed to know you were in it for the long run and eventually when I saw that I was worried bringing us back would ruin that.” We ran so well as co-parents. “But seeing my family today and you taking it so calmly I understood that no matter what happens between us we are always going to do what's best for her.”

“And her” I furrowed my brows in confusion until he slid his hand over my stomach.

“Stop,” I laughed, pushing his hand off. As our laughs quiet I look towards him again. “So, if you will still take me, I want to continue, us” I couldn’t tell you how my breath was stuck in the middle of my throat until a smile started to appear on his face.

“Of course, I would want nothing more than to have you. You and our daughter are all I need.” He grabs my face and pulls us closer but doesn’t connect our lips just yet. “And our other future daughter” I roll my eyes, letting him have that one.  His kiss is sweet and slow. Two souls who were separated for too long. I enjoyed the warmth of his lips until we heard something hit the floor.

“What the hell?!” Rafe moved faster than me as he put on his boxer and rushed out the door. I followed him when I threw on his shirt, only to find him picking up a broom. “Must have slipped down the wall.” He shrugs, placing the broom against the wall again, men. I shake my head and turn to check where our daughter was sleeping.

“She's awake?” I felt Rafe's presence behind me as he looked over my head.

“Yep.” He simply said as he walked right by me. I walk closer to see her with her Paci and her looking up at the projected animal in the ceiling.

“She always cries when she wakes up” We both lean and see how peaceful she was in her crib.

“She knew daddy desperately needed time with mommy” he said in a baby voice which made me hit his arm. He laughs walking towards the bathroom. I hear the water running and when he comes back, he picks her up. “Want something to eat?” I nod.

“Pick out something while I take a shower.” I wave goodbye to my girl but of course she is too busy staring at her father.

“Take out? Same as usual?” He says as we both walk out the room.

“Same as always.” He smiles rushing downstairs. He was my always now. When I enter his room, I grab a new shirt and one of his boxers. As I turn on the water I hear my phone ping,

“Grandmother couldn’t keep it shut and had to brag she met her great granddaughter.” Fuck. As I go to respond another text comes through. “We will be there at 10” Double fuck.