#unless you like angst

[escapetothelake]

Was Laura and Bob already submitted? If no, can you please do? 🤲

sorry this took a hot minute!!

angst under the cut

who made the first move: robert approached laura first when he saw her sketching on the bench. he found her mysterious nature intriguing, and invited her to a bookshop cafe where they could talk more, surrounded by soft music and nice art.

who kissed who first: i think their first kiss was mutual. robert was sitting next to her on a park bench, his arm nervously placed around her. she looked up from her book, they locked eyes, and they both leaned in.

who started the relationship: after they went out a few times, they just kinda.. became exclusive?? robert because he genuinely felt a connection with laura, and laura for the same reason, but also because robert's presence brought her peace of mind and didn't add hassle to her life. it's nice to not be alone with your own thoughts.

who remembers things: laura has a great memory. robert is well-meaning, but can be a little forgetful when it comes to smaller things. laura gives him a notepad and a pencil and tells him to write down things he needs to remember, and sooner or later, his workspace, the fridge, and the doors in the house are littered with them.

nicknames for each other: laura goes for "bob", "rob", "robbie", or "bert". sometimes she says his name with a french accent—it's an inside joke they have. robert calls her "honey", "babe", or "my girl".

who is more likely to pay for dinner: robert has pretty steady employment, so he usually pays.

who normally cooks: laura's a better cook than robert. he likes it when she teaches him, because she always says that he has the capabilities to become better if he puts his mind to it.

who remembers anniversaries: they both do.

what would they get each other for gifts: robert likes to get laura flowers, books, or art supplies. he also gets her music pieces, records, or tapes. laura's the kind of person who gives drawings or works of art for gifts. she has a bunch of old books as well, and she learned to make art pieces with them.

most trivial thing they fight over: not that this is trivial, but laura tends to isolate herself, or "wander off" for a while and not leave any notice or tell robert where she's going. robert gets concerned, and laura feels that he's being overbearing.

how often do they fight: they're both pretty chill, so they don't fight that often.

who uses all the hot water: laura loves a good bath. her and robert sometimes bathe together, too.

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: laura has to, or bob will try to fix it himself.

who leaves their stuff around: laura kinda shoves her stuff into drawers, but keeps a pretty neat and minimalistic house. when robert's stressed, he'll leave his stuff laying around.

who remembers to buy the milk: when robert's going out for work, laura will usually say, "bob, we need milk." she just hopes he'll remember to actually pick it up.

who controls the netflix queue: they're the kind of couple to watch the same shows—usually one or two episodes a night. robert mostly adapted to laura's tastes, though. i could see them watching thrillers, mystery, drama, documentaries, and the like.

who steals the covers at night: laura. robert sleeps pretty still. sometimes she'll wake him up by accidentally kicking him in her sleep.

who cusses more: if laura's really irked, she swears like a sailor. she's pretty chill most of the time, but she has mild road rage tendencies. there have been a couple of times that robert had to stop her from getting into a fight.

who does most of the cleaning: they try to split domestic tasks, but since bob works more, laura usually takes over.

what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: doing artistic activities together. sometimes they'll draw each other, or read with their legs all tangled up together.

who’s the cuddler: robert. sometimes, he holds laura like she's gonna go somewhere. laura doesn't really mind his clingy tendencies, so she kinda just lets him hold her.

who’s the big spoon/little spoon: usually it's robert big, laura little.

who’s more dominant: mostly laura. robert will do anything she asks, in and out of the bedroom.

who is the dirty talker: bob mostly uses affirmation/praise phrases. laura is more of the "dirty talker".

what do they do when they’re away from each other: laura's pretty independent, so she doesn't mind being away from bob all that much. in fact, she actually enjoys having alone time every once in a while, especially because it helps her creatively. on the other hand, being away from laura makes bob a little uneasy. he likes to call her every so often, just to check in.

what would they do if the other one was hurt: bob kinda likes being taken care of and "babied" by laura because it makes him feel safe and wanted. in that sense, when she's caring for him while he's sick and/or injured, he enjoys the attention. if laura were sick or hurt, bob would be a little more distressed, but he likes to have the chance to cook for her and care for her in return. he sees it as an opportunity to show his affection.

a headcanon: occasionally, laura will leave little drawings around for bob. it's almost like a game at this point—he likes to see if he can find them all. sometimes she'll doodle on a sticky note and slide it in his notes, his books, in his coat, his shoe, his lunch, or some object in the house. she really enjoys the excitement he expresses when he find them. in return, he began to write loving little notes on the back of the drawings and re-hide them among her things. at first, it was pretty surprising to laura, but she keeps them all.

after her death, dale finds a box in her house full of little notes with drawings on one side, and affectionate phrases on the back. he puts two and two together and realizes that they were co-made with robert, and his realization is confirmed after a handwriting analysis. after robert is cleared of suspicion of murder, dale gives him back a number of laura's possessions, the box with the notes included. dale excuses himself from the room, but not before he hears the box open and robert begin to sob.

[aphel1on]

AURGH auwarghh the autistic parental trauma... the epi was wacky hijinks then dropped this on us out of nowhere... (sobs) laios... laiiiiooooos

[shepscapades]

I think I need to start putting more Red vs. Blue references in dbhc actually

[lazylittledragon]

Random thought/question: what would your Tavs/Durge and their significant others like... legit fight about? Not bicker, not argue, but actually get mad and say things they don't mean and have to cool off and talk about it later when calmer heads prevail and they're able to apologize without it sounding forced?

this is such a great question that i needed a whole 24 hours to think about it akdhdjhd

i think gale and cyra probably have small things blow out of proportion (because honestly. kids and work and Tired) and then a Lot of stuff they haven't talked about comes up and it ends with 'how the fuck did forgetting to change the bedsheets turn into This'

i actually feel like dorian and astarion are pretty good 90% of the time but sometimes one of them is in a bad place and is like 'i actually really need to be left alone with this thing right now and i don't want to talk about it' and maybe they're not always great at taking the hint

ashe and halsin have never had a fight ever

[artuurle]

please tell us more about hector's quirks o great sniler

also your art and tags bring me so much joy!! hope you have a wonderful weekend :D

Context: In a previous post i drew Hector with visible seems on his body and in the tags said he has a few ... quirks for being an ex-god.

Hector will quite literally fall apart at a random seam (or a few) if he gets too wrapped up in destructive/unhealthy thinking now. If you wanna think about it in a more terrifying context this is essentially what i headcanoned happened to his body when he ascended - except in the rift it all dissipated, leaving him as how he was as Inspekta.

Once you go in the rift even if you choose to leave it still will affect you. You will have to live with the choices you made either way. You climbed the tower of Babel and looked gods in the eye as an equal- you do NOT return the same.

[hedwig221b]

Idk what kind of crack c*caine you put in the happiest of all that I STILL read it once a week ever since you posted I can probably recite some of the paragraphs by heart lmfaooo I’d love to know if you have anything similar in the works at any point of time in the future but regardless just wanted to tell how obsessed I’m with this particular fic lol

LMFAO 😭😭😭

I don't even know what to say except THANK YOU??? For enjoying the fic so much? I'm giggling now lol, this is the best message to receive after a long work day 💗 all my heart goes to you!

I mean, I guess, Predators has the same vibe with Stiles running away and thinking it's for the best and Derek being like oh hell nah, love

And I'm gonna write New Moon au (after I finish Twilight au) and the separation scene is gonna be devastating. And Stiles is so not gonna deal with that well. And the reunion is gonna be nuts. I know with The Happiest of All I went all in on the breaking up angst, but here it's gonna be, like, one hundred times more painful.

[justaz]

merlin au where merlin keeps excalibur and returns to camelot to serve under gwen as court sorcerer after she repeals the ban. merlin remains for years, unaging, even as gwen dons wrinkle after wrinkle and spouts grey hair after grey hair. eventually, gwen passes without an heir and since merlin holds arthur’s sigil, he ascends the throne and leads camelot for years. eventually invaders come and slaughter the people and burn the fields etc etc and merlin goes out to fight. he fights like a demon, which is what they call him with his unnatural abilities and golden eyes, and merlin chases them from his kingdom - only, they slaughtered everyone within the citadel. there is no camelot, not anymore, not without her people. merlin should’ve seen this coming as her one true ruler has been and will always be arthur. he waves a hand and puts out the fires and restores the buildings to their once gleaming glory then takes excalibur into the center and drives it into the stone. with the force and power behind it, merlin raises the earth around the kingdom and buries it away from further invasions.

he leaves the kingdom hidden beneath the earth and travels up to the surface to explore just how far the continent spreads. then theres new continents across the ocean and he explores those as well. he watches as the world expands and grows and learns and advances but humans go too far and begin to destroy the world and create weapons of mass destruction and threaten each other with war. merlin assumes arthur will come back considering the destruction of practically everything but he doesn’t. tensions rise and snap and in the blink of an eye, humanity is chased back to their caves. with the loss of technology and modern ideas, humans revert back to their roots and connect with the elements which means they reconnect with magic. it takes another few thousand years for these humans to achieve the level of civilization merlin grew up in his first few decades of life.

different tribes are settled across the land but, thats the thing, over the course of the last few millennia (lets pretend land moves super quick plsplsplsplspls) the separate continents have collided with one another and practically the entire mass could be considered albion. he’s not even sure where the original land resides now. sooo he’s not even sure where camelot resides now. he really should’ve set up some beacon so he could remember but its been thousands upon thousands of years. sue him for his memory being a little foggy. he wanders from tribe to tribe and learns from their new magic while acting as a physician which a lot of them consider him some sort of miracle healer considering his advanced medical knowledge. it’s a win-win tho, he learns new magic and they don’t die. everyone is happy.

then during one such visits to a tribe, he finds a man of twenty summers with a head of golden hair like a crown and sunkissed skin from working outside all day and bright blue eyes that look like the very sky was captured in his gaze. merlin stands for a while and watches him dig around in the dirt, sweat gleaming on his brow, and his muscles rippling as he works. merlin can feel the countless years falling from his shoulders, he feels lighter on his feet, and pure happiness bubbles in him. a grin wide enough to split his face pulls at his lips.

he can’t help himself from stumbling over toward his long lost best friend, his body awkward and gangly with excitement and when he calls out to arthur his voice seems younger than it has in millennia and he vaguely notices that his appearance of wizened old healer melted away to his twenty year old body. arthur looks up with a polite yet confused smile and greets him followed by a question and merlin is faced with the realization that arthur doesn’t know him, doesn’t remember him. merlin manages to keep a thin smile on his face as he reaches out with magic and finds an injury in his knee from years ago that must’ve been bothering him and excuses his use of arthur’s name as someone sending him to find him and help heal the injury.

anyways merlin and arthur become friends and set off on an adventure of gathering the knights of the round table from various tribes/villages and they eventually stumble upon gleaming white stone that merlin belatedly realizes camelot was built with. the knights all take turns tugging at the sword but it doesn’t budge, not until arthur reaches out and tugs as if expecting it to be y’know stuck in stone only it slides out like butter and he knocks the hilt on his forehead and knocks himself out it out. with the sword tugged from the earth, it rumbles and cracks and splits and a hidden kingdom arises from the dirt, gleaming white and shining in the sun. they stare in amazement and awe for a moment before they grow confused and distracted. then arthur turns to merlin and says his name in an all too familiar way and merlin starts sobbing bc arthur is finally back

[emelinstriker]

I read your special stranger fanfic and I love it! I imagine reader working in an animal center focusing on bats considering that China has the highest number of bat species. Ranging from big flying foxes to microbats that lets out tiny squeaks, Nezha would expect a lot of pictures and videos of them with fun facts.

Ooo- Didn't except to ever see somethin in my inbox about Special Stranger Nezha-

But yes omg fhgnhfgf Imagine the Reader just gushing about bats and Nezha would be so supportive of it fhgnfhgnfhgnhfg

[vienoreal]

Juana's favourite memory.

a little story/headcanons up ahead, and the sketch for this piece, tehee ;p

she always liked making flower crowns with her parents, especially when inevitably there were leftover flowers that they could throw unto the air to make it seem like it was raining flowers. her dad was always better at making the crowns, but her mama always found the best flowers to use and which went together well. and she always found the best picnic spots.

her dad made sure there were no bees around and that she always had an epipen with a spare and a spare for the spare. her mana made sure none of the food with them had animal products or nuts, and made sure she had her safe foods.

and our little Juanita made sure her family stuck together. sure her parents bickered, but she always had to faux-gag after they kissed and made up. she got to sit and lean on her mama's chest, curled up in his embrace while the sun warmed her scaly skin, listening to the humming of her dad while he carefully made her the most beautiful flower crown befitting a princess. she got to laugh and giggle while her dad gave her the extra flowers to throw into the air and her mama gave a weather report of incoming "flower rain".

her dad still checks for bees and makes sure he has an epipen and makes flowercrowns, but he no longer has anyone to do it for.

her mama still makes sure there's no nuts or meat in the food he brings with him, but he realises as soon as the rain falls that there's no reason to do it anymore.

and our little huevo isn't there to bring them together.

[desultory-novice]

“A Beautiful Sunset”

CW: body horror, mind break

...

I know-kirby-saved-me-he-wouldn’t-just-leave-me-like-this-not-when-it-hurts-so-much-please-make-it-stop-where-are-you-Kirby-

...

...

...

My original sketch/idea had the two of them actually alright and safe in Dream Land, just plagued by memories, they being the lone “survivors” of having their Souls weaponized...

...Then cursed True Arena lore kicked in and now they’re not okay but since the Master Crown stole his eyes, Magolor can’t even see and he’s driven to hallucinating out of desperation and pain

Edit: I turned this into a whole mini series...

Part 2 “The Sun Never Sets” Part 3 “Screams of Joy” Part 4 “Visitors” Part 5 “A Perfect Circle”

Relevant: “Conditional”

Prologue: “Selfish Needs”

[muchmossymess]

hey we all agree that ed gets nightmares about ling absorbing the philosophers stone right

[fir-fireweed]

On my latest poll a good number of you selected “Wtf is a persona?” This may have just been the funnier option, but in case you actually didn’t see yours…

After chapter 6, a link with character stats appears at the bottom of the passage/page, which displays the persona you’ve cultivated. Up till now this has affected the story in subtle ways, (whether you saved the book in chapter 4, or whether it was you or Robin who observed the guard in chapter 7, etc).

In chapter 12 it will play a larger role in your decisions. I wanted all choices open to players, but if you make a choice that goes against the character you’ve cultivated, there may be consequences. For example, if you’ve constantly taken more meek, passive options and then suddenly turn aggressive at the end, prepare for a bumpy road!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 24 thoughts

season FINALE!!! whew, it has been an emotional time these last few months, let me tell you that. i’m wondering how or if this will be wrapped up. 

the episode description makes no mention of scully’s illness, just more aliens. we always end the seasons with aliens. i imagine that this will also be a cliffhanger, so i’m trying to brace myself for that now.

(author's note: there was nothing short of reaching enlightenment that could have prepared me for this, and even if i had ascended to nirvana, i might have been ripped back out by the sheer tragedy of this storyline)

but damn, with a title like gethsemane, i’m expecting even more tears than usual. 

(author's note: yeah)

let us no longer delay. 

we begin with some videos from 1972, including carl sagan! what’s he doing here? well, he’s doing alien things. are you surprised?

the man on the screen is speaking about the probability of contacting aliens. he says it is very high.

and then cut to scully in some very yellow lighting, politely trying to get to a crime scene to do some FBI business!

wait. is that mulder’s couch???

she just needed to make an ID on a body and BRO WHAT. DID SHE FIND MULDER DEAD??? IN HIS OWN APARTMENT?????

HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO???!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

now she’s in a meeting room with a lot of important people…. 

she’s explaining how she was assigned to the x files four years ago…. and she’s explaining the mulder lore.

“i come here today, four years later, to report on the illegitimacy of agent mulder’s work” <- WOAH WHAT??? betrayal?????

“it is my scientific opinion that he became over the course of these years a victim- a victim of his own false hopes, and in his belief in the biggest of lies” <- that is so sad????!?!??

HELLO??? WHAT??? hey. what’s going on. is that really scully? or is it an alien?

well. they’ve gotten me both hooked and worried. 

is she lying to save him?? is he dead?? is she preserving his reputation in death?? because she said that stuff in the past tense… or maybe he was killed and she will be next if she doesn’t renounce everything???

WHAT IS AFOOT HERE.

scully i just publicly declared you my favorite, you can’t make me take that back…

(author's note: i should have never doubted her <3)

ohhhh fancy, the intro says “believe the lie”

helicopter over the yukon in canada. some guys say the stuff at camp is unbelievable. that's quite a jump in tone from before.

and now they’re marching up the hill, saying they’re very excited etc etc. it looks to be exhausting work. the score is very suspenseful.

they arrive in a cave and shake hands as the newcomers are introduced. and what is in there but…. a frozen alien???

i was hoping it would be a perfectly preserved mammoth :( but okay… whatever… (sadly kicks dirt around)

back to the meeting room with scully!!! she says there have been recent developments on the assumption that aliens exist… mulder was contacted by a man whose “pursuit of this evidence seemed to coincide with his own”, and she says he was duped!!!! fooled by scientific slight of hand!!! 

and she’s here to expose this lie… and to expose his work for what it is….

GIRL, WHAT WENT DOWN???

now a cut to some sort of scully family event!! she’s telling a story about her brother bill. will we finally get to see him!? yes!! here he is!!! like their father, he is also in the navy, and seems to be pretty decorated. 

and he says he sent her a birthday card, to which she says “thanks for remembering this year” LMAOOO get him again for me!!

(why does no one remember her birthday!!! i will cry!!!)

the priest arrives… and scully’s face falls…. why is she sad to see him? and why did he get invited??? i’m stressed. 

father mccue is talking to her about drifting from the church and feeling awkward, but her mom asked him to come tonight. he says turning back to faith is essential in times like this. she says she hasn’t felt a need to draw on faith for strength, that she has some. and she won’t coming running back now.

huh, i wonder if she thinks that “running back” to the church will be admitting defeat. she says she’d be lying to herself and to him if she did that.

maybe she has only lightly been dabbling in god-related affairs since revelations, but not enough to want to return to mass.

but a phone rings… it’s mulder!!!

he says he’s sorry to interrupt her dinner, (so at least there’s some self awareness there) but someone named arlinsky at the smithsonian contacted him about a mountain in canada.

he says she needs to meet him RIGHT AWAY. BRO???????? she looks SO sad when he said that. 

she would do ANYTHING for him. and tbh i see why she wants to expose him now. fuck that. 

she’s assuring him that it’s okay, and he’s trying to apologize, but i’m still mad at him, and scully should be too. and who the hell is this arlinsky guy? apparently he was involved in a ufo photo faking?? but he claims he’s innocent?? THAT is what disrupted her dinner??

he says he won’t tell her what she’s about to see….

he has pictures of an alien frozen in the mountain and she looks deeply unimpressed. girl me too! 

apparently the alien has been in the ice for 200 years. and babcock (arlinsky's colleague) was part of the team that found it.

arlinsky says it’s a very remote location for it to be a hoax, to which mulder once again displays some self awareness with his “well if you’re gonna go, why not go all the way?” but again, not enough to prevent himself from getting in this situation in the first place

arlinsky pulls out the ice core samples from each side of the body, and says he sincerely believes they have a full corpse of an alien. 

but family dinner. i care about that more.

mulder says no one will believe him, and the same people that hid the truth will be asked to authenticate it, so there will be no confirmation either. which is why arlinsky wants him to go and get the body, because he knows it means everything to mulder

ohhhh scully says she has no opinion… “this is your holy grail, mulder, not mine” <- i am glad she is admitting she has no horse in this race

OHHH “proving the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish” <-yeah remind him that you’re literally dying and you can’t waste time because he SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN!!!!

“this is not some selfish pet project of mine, scully” <- well if it’s for the sake of your sister, but you’re hurting the people around you for it, that is still selfish actually 

woah woah woah i had to write this next part out...

“you already believe, mulder, what difference will it make? i mean, what will proof change for you?”

“if someone could prove to you the existence of god, would it change you?”

“only if it has been disproven”

“then you accept the possibility that belief in god is a lie?” (where are you going with this…? this is a sensitive subject for her!)

“i don’t think about it, actually. and i don’t think it can be proven”

“but what if it could be? wouldn’t that knowledge be worth seeking? or is it easier to go on believing the lie?”

this exchange made me feel frustrated. i wish he would be less ahab-like all of the time. yes, it is a huge deal that someone found an alien. but i see no reason why he couldn't have gone to that meeting by himself. and bringing god into this when he knows that's something very personal to her is a low blow. i get the point he was trying to make about believing the lie and all that, but c'mon man.

mulder honey, i get that this is a big deal to you, but time and place.

she tells him that she cannot go with him, but then he says, well can you just look at the ice core samples please. and she nods her head reluctantly. 

cut back to the big meeting room with scully and other very important people

“what i couldn’t tell agent mulder, what i had only just learned myself, was that the cancer which had been diagnosed in me several months earlier had metastasized. and the doctors told me, short of a miracle, it would continue to aggressively invade my body, advancing faster each day towards the inevitable” <- OH MY GOD??? oh my god. 

but why wouldn't she tell him... did she think that telling him then would interrupt his alien quest?? and she didn't want to do that because she knows how important it is to him? or did she not want him to worry?

because i would have told him!!! i would have said it right then and there!! but she is very different from me...

the fact that she is aware that she has so little time left and STILL left her dinner to go deal with his nonsense… scully, i fear you give too much and need to do things for yourself, please please

back on the mountain, they’re cutting the ice with a chainsaw. feels a bit unscientific, but i mean i guess that’s how you get that stuff done.

one guy is loading a pistol??? saying he doesn’t know the men well. that’s suspicious. i don’t care for it. 

there’s something in the ice. maybe a bubble. or a casting hole!! of liquid poured!! could this be a fake?? but the angle wouldn’t make sense, says one guy. hmm... i'm not sure what to think.

did they put a fake alien all the way up here…? and why is gun guy looking around all shady like…?

back to the core samples in DC. the scientist says he found some hybrid cells in there, not plants nor animals, but chimera, and he wants to get them under a microscope. hmm… can we clone da alien :3

someone walks into the cave in the yukon with a shotgun!!! and kills all of the men!!!!! what the hell!!! is this a real alien then?????

this happens just as others begin the hike up the mountain, including the smithsonian guy arlinsky. and mulder!! i didn’t even recognize him under all those baggy coats and sunglasses. wow. i feel like a fake fan.

someone was supposed to meet them and guide them up the mountain, but there’s no one there, and all the supplies are frozen over. so they begin the hike on their own, following the tracks from the others.

oh! the find someone keeled over in the snow, to which mulder remarks “funny place to take a nap”. again with the inappropriate jokes as a coping mechanism. it’s the guide that was supposed to meet them!! and he was shot and killed!!!

well, the alien is starting to look more authentic as the bodies pile up. 

back at the lab, scully is looking for the scientist, but she doesn’t find him. what she does find is a guy stealing the core sample???

he shoves her down the stairs?????? what the HELL!!!!

see, i thought the alien was a lie at first, but now it’s starting to appear compelling.

mulder and smithsonian guy arlinsky have arrived at the cave, and he pulls out his gun. they find all of the bodies from the crew, and no alien!!! it has been carved out!!!

mulder hypothesizes that perhaps someone was listening to their radio comms and came to hide their alien knowledge, but they hear some groans. and babcock is still alive!!

he says that the alien body wasn’t taken, but that he buried it!! and sure enough, they find it beneath their feet. mulder looks at it with amazement. big moment for a guy like him.

but scully!!! her face is bruised and her pristine lab coat is covered in blood! bill comes in with a change of clothes. and he didn’t tell their mom what happened. 

“i was knocked down a flight of stairs… but i’m okay, luckily”

“you’re not okay, dana” <- OHHHH BILL. please tread carefully.

he says he knows about her cancer and she says mom wasn’t supposed to tell him!!!

she says she doesn’t want sympathy, and he accuses her of thinking she can cure herself. which feels like a terribly low blow.

OHHHH MY GOD. wait hold on. hold on.

“what are you doing at work getting knocked down and beaten up? what are you trying to prove? that you’re gonna go out fighting?”

“oh now, come on, bill”

“do you know what mom is going through? why do you think i didn’t tell her when they called?”

“what should i be doing?” (said with great frustration)

“we have a responsibility, not just to ourselves, but to the people in our lives”

“hey, look, just-just because i haven’t bared my soul to you or to father mccue or to god, it doesn’t mean that i’m not responsible to what’s important to me” (this was very defensive and exasperated in tone)

“to what? to who? this guy mulder? well, where is he, dana? where is he through all this?”

well…. i want to defend mulder, to say he doesn’t know, but just because he doesn’t know that her cancer is getting worse doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have been more sensitive. he actually has been very conscientious, which makes this whole alien thing all the more sudden and infuriating!!!

she is stunned into silence as bill looks at her with fury. and she doesn’t say anything more to him beyond “thank you for coming” <-god, what was she supposed to even say?? i get trying to shake her back to reality, but who did that cruelty help??

bill, i get what you were trying to do, but you pissed me off in the way that you did it. do you always show the people you care for that you love them by screaming at them? because if so. not a very effective tactic.

mulder is unboxing the alien, which is now in DC, and he’s trying to thaw it with the smithsonian guy arlinsky and babcock! who is doing better! despite taking a shotgun bullet.

babcock asks if it were a hoax, why would there be 6 men dead over it, which is a good question. 

ewwww, the alien looks so gross….

with the help of another FBI agent, she finds the guy who hurt her!!!! and he’s working for the government!!!! in the pentagon‘s research facility!!! his name is kritschgau. they should not hire people in the government who assault women in stairwells.

mulder and crew are getting x rays and scans of the alien. mulder is wearing a sweater, but i’m still mad at him so i will NOT make note of how cute it is. 

the alien body is gross as hell. they’re filming an autopsy. ohhh he’s cutting the eye membrane off. EWWWW. EWWW.

now the ribs…… ewww ewww ewwww EWW IT CRUNCHES. NASTY. he takes the ribs out and starts looking at the heart and lungs and some other white stuff in the chest. gag.

meanwhile, scully’s casing the joint looking for the dude kritschgau who assaulted her, and she finds him, tracks him down, and nearly hits him with her car!!! she has her gun and is going after him!!!! he is under arrest!!! 

she is NOT messing around. we see a level of scully fury here that is incredibly potent and shown to us infrequently. i enjoy it, but it also makes me sad, because it shows how much stress she is under.

it appears he has slipped away, but she catches him!!!!! yes ma'am!!!!

kritschgau says that if he gets arrested, they’ll kill him. “they” being the same people that gave her cancer!!! how tf does he know about that???”

meanwhile, the alien organs are being weighed.

then cutscene back to the big meeting with scully!!! she’s telling them about how they smuggled the corpse back, saying mulder was ready to believe it was an alien.

but kritschgau convinced her it was otherwise, and not a true alien… he explained how mulder and her had been deceived and used, and that it was part of their plan that led to missy’s death and her illness.

god, how she must have felt hearing that… that everything that had happened to her was a waste, that the only point in her suffering was to advance corruption... it must have been devastating

as mulder leaves the warehouse where the autopsy was occurring, it seems he’s being watched by a guy with a shotgun??? is the shotgun guy going from before after the alien people????

it IS shotgun guy from before!!!! he knows babcock?? and he kills smithsonian guy arlinsky!!!

now who tf is this babcock fellow?!?!?!?!?!?

kritschgau is now sitting in mulder's apartment, explaining the "everything is a lie" story to him. mulder asks why he'd do this now- a fair question- and kritschgau says he came to him because his son is very sick after serving in the gulf war. i suppose if in this universe that is also something that has been covered up by the government, it could spark some disillusionment in the whole process once it impacts him personally.

he says "they" invented mulder, the regression hypnosis, the story of his sister and what they told his dad, and that the alien body was made carefully in a lab. and it would never be carbon dated, it was only for him to see so he would go public with the news and discredit himself.

mulder declares kritschgau to be a liar, but he says the body is already long gone, so he leaves to check. and sure enough, when he goes back to the warehouse, it isn’t there, but arlinsky is dead, as is shotgun guy!!!

again, WHO TF IS BABCOCK??!?!?

the cellular materials were an exact match to what kritschgau described. 

and this brings us to scully and mulder really fighting, really really fighting

“after all i’ve seen and experienced, i refuse to believe it’s not true” “because it’s easier to believe the lie, isn’t it?” <- ohh callback to earlier....

and she reveals that he said she was given this sickness to make him believe… oh my god, if that’s true, and her life is just a prop in their sick game… 

he storms out. 

back to the video from the 70’s we began with. 

mulder is watching it and crying. oh no… the beginning is clicking into place for me…… oh no, i see what is coming…. 

back to the meeting room. she says she went to his apartment that morning to identify a body, and that mulder died of a self-inflicted gunshot 

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?????????????????

thus concludes the episode

she’s crying, she’s crying, all i can think about is her crying, what the hell, what the hell….

so he killed himself because he realized he was being used as a pawn and it was his fault scully was dying…

normally i would have more to say. but i’m not gonna lie to you, i don’t. this is just so fucking sad. i don’t even have the words. never in a million years did i see this happening. what the hell???? what the hell?

do i believe this kritschgau guy??? i think he’s probably telling 30% of the truth. but not the whole thing. why would all those men die for a fake alien? i think he’s being deployed as a cover story as mulder gets too close. and i think some of this is engineered, but not as much as he claims.

and i'm willing to bet that "believing the lie" actually refers to scully believing his cover story!!!

man. i’m sorry but i’m just so sad. i have been so sad this whole season!!!! 

mulder…… it was rude of you to interrupt her dinner…… but this was not the answer… 

how is sneaky mulder going to get out of the situation THIS time??? and how is scully going to get out of the hole she's dug by reporting all of their work as fraud?? is bill going to be happy now?? lowkey fuck bill, btw.

wow... this is just painful. and i don't even have to wait months to find out what happens next. had i seen this when it aired live i probably would have entered a state of mourning.

so that's the end, huh? of the season, i mean. just sucker punch after sucker punch. i hope this isn't the tone of everything else moving forward. can i get uhhhh one order of whimsy please. with a side of mutual pining. and a small hurt/comfort, emphasis on the comfort. thank you.

after waiting 24 hours from watching the episode initially, i am still torn between how to proceed next. part of me wants to compile all of my favorite moments from the season like always, but the other part of me wants to begin the next episode right away, just so i can move on from such horrible mental imagery as mulder dead from a self-inflicted gunshot. what a terrible thing i wouldn't even have expected from fanfiction!

but, i can also see that the next episode is a two parter, and to be left on ANOTHER cliffhanger would be horrible- but probably LESS horrible than being left with the sadness of dead mulder, right? i don't know what to do! i am filled with indecision!!!!

:(

at least i can take away some fascinating analysis regarding scully's relationship to catholicism, and her idea that depending on any force outside of herself- be it family, friends, or god- is a sign of weakness. i mean, that is pretty telling about her character. and the fact that she believes this so strongly she tried to hide her cancer getting worse from her brother and succeeded in hiding it from mulder!!! to even voice the truth would make it real. maybe that's why she can't tell them, can't go to mass- because it would mean that the end is really near if she did so. i think it's about both the perceived ideas of weakness ingrained in her by her hardass parents and a refusal to let the situation she has found herself in be registered as real in her own mind. she knows it is. but maybe if she pushes it to the side, she can forget for a while.

wow. that sure is something to think over, and think it over i shall.

[nejackdaw]

(reads my own fic) woah. I'm so good at my job

[getonite]

god, i could write 5k of the most beautifully written fic, but unless it's gojo smut or twt links y'all mfs gon like it and pass on.

[vioranhyperfixation]

How Tim discover Jason is alive In this au

Rafi, trying to bond with tim. But doesn't understand Tim mind so they decided to just have Tim play a new character in Rafi story.

Tim : her name is valarine, she is a vampire who doesn't want to drink blood but is forced to because of her nature.

Rafi : *rising his voice* oh my god, we encounters another narsistic vampire atla!

Tim : what?

Rafi : ah?

Tim : we're starting now?

Rafi : yeah?

Tim : I just starts describing my character!

Rafi : well we don't do that. The story discover things by their own experiences! So what she did just now is narrating herself, which is a very narsistic thing to do.

Tim : damn it.

Rafi : anyway, *raising his voice* do you think she is related to valamioracartelavonse?

Tim : heh, vala? I would know somebody with the same name as me!

Rafi : *voice raised* no! Valamioracartelavonse! It's all one word! Her name is valamioracartelavonse not vala. I might call her with curses and all but I won't just assigned her a random name couse she has a long name, that's uneducated.

Tim : what else do you call her then?

Rafi : that bitch who's supposed to die long ago but haven't died yet.

Tim : shorter one?

Rafi : oh, villian wannabe.

Tim : like the one from the crime alley kind or government kind?

Rafi : dunno, American guy the one who nickname her that.

Tim : American guy, yees, American guy. Isn't it the time you tell us who he is, like, we are trying to bond here, so I want to know about you as you're about me. Although it's fine if you want to take your time.

Rafi : ah yes, uhhh. Jason! Yes I think his name is Jason! Jason todd is the name you should probably be familiar with, I think that's the name.

Tim : haha, good joke.

Rafi : what? No, it wasn't a joke, that's American guy name. I would know.

Tim : he died years ago.

Rafi : and he got revived somewhat long ago.

Tim : he died by the hands of joker! And his dead isn't a joke!

Rafi : well I know! And he get back to gotham a few years ago!

Tim : that joke is terrible! Don't go around bringing dead siblings to people!

Rafi : well he ain't dying the last time I see him you Bullhead!

Rafi : here!

Tim :

Rafi :

Tim :

Rafi : ...

Rafi : do you.. Not know?

Tim :

Rafi : god I need to say sorry to American guy. God he's gonna nag my ear off. Give me my phone back!

Tim : the fuck. You have his number!?

Rafi : of course I have his number! Why would i not? I mention him multiple time since my first arrival!

Tim : I don't know that's my supposed dead brother at that time!

Rafi : well I thought you know that I know you know that I know and we just don't talk about that!

Tim : then explain it to me!

Rafi : well first of all, he alive now!

Rafi : second of all, it ironic how he call valamioracartelavonse the one who supposed to be dead long ago but haven't yet here there is.

Tim :

Rafi : I'm coming back tomorrow once you are done with your breakdown, good luck🤞