#unless it means they have less time for me

[ugly-anarchist]

Im sorry but just because *some* categories of intersex people are in danger if they disclose that fact to a doctor, etc, doesn’t mean that having a slight hormone imbalance puts you in as much danger as admitting you’re trans to that same doctor. You’re trying to universalize exorsexism’s effects on all intersex people while also making the category as broad as possible, and the end result based on your arguments is that you want trans perisex people to put ourselves in danger out of some kind of noble selflessness. Sorry, but sometimes it really is materially safer if I just say “I don’t menstruate for hormonal reasons” than “I don’t menstruate because I’m a trans woman” when asked by a nurse, and it’s upsetting to me that you’d frame any trans woman who protects herself that way as somehow exorsexist

The fact that you're calling intersexism exorsexism is really telling.

You do realize that doctors especially are prone to enacting violence on intersex bodies right? You do know that plenty of intersex people (myself included) were forced/coerced into hormones to "fix" our intersex variations, right?

It's not about moral selflessness, you're just denying intersexism, making it seem like less of a problem, and implying that trans people are in more danger than intersex people. You are not. Intersexism is a very severe issue and victims of it often don't make it out unscathed.

Like one of the main perpetuators of intersexism are medical providers. It's 100% safer to disclose your trans status to a doctor than it is to disclose the fact that you're intersex. There are doctors who are accepting of being trans and even specific doctors that provide medical care to trans people. But currently, the main way to deal with intersex people that is accepted and encouraged in the medical field is to treat our bodies as disordered. 99% of doctors either don't know the word intersex or actively refuse to use it and are more than willing to coerce you into taking hormones to fix you.

You do realize that these nurses you are lying about being intersex to fully believe your body is disordered and needs to be fixed, right? You're opening yourself up to so much potential shit because there's doctors who will refuse to treat you unless you accept the "treatment" they've offered for your disorder they assume you have. There's also doctors who will 100% just straight up fucking lie to you and prescribe you medication and not tell you the real effects of said medication, specifically so they can trick you into mutilating your body for the sake of adhering to the sex binary.

Like, for fucks sake, how many times do intersex people have to say "please stop saying we have it better than perisex trans people" for you people to get it through your heads? How many times do I have to recite and explain the violence done to our bodies until you listen?

[tossawary]

Happy November, everyone! Here's a late collection of the icons that I've been using for the last few months. The lines and dots one is the new one! I saw some Art Deco wood carving recently that was cool and wanted to borrow the style.

The rubber duck cassowary is from July, because a loved one is really into ducks recently. The black and white cassowary is from August, for no particular reason. The Starfleet cassowary is from September, because we started doing a catch-up on things like "Strange New Worlds", "Lower Decks", and "Discovery". The cassowary made of dots is from October, just because I saw another piece of art that I liked.

Fandom news: I finally finished "Some Unknown Corner", my Qijiu reunion fix-it fic!!! Which took me WAY longer than initially expected. Part of it is that I've been spending more time with family lately (saw some people I hadn't seen in years last month), which means less time to write but has been very nice, and part it of seems to be that I'm just a little busy and burnt out at the moment.

I'm not currently planning on joining any fandom events at the moment, or making any firm fic plans; I'm letting loose and just relaxing. I will be TRYING not to be possessed by some unwieldy project. Trying!!! I'm definitely not (intentionally) writing any novels this month. For now (at least the next couple months), I don't think I'll be posting any new fic unless it's a short one-shot or already complete longfic. November and December tend to be some of the busier months in my personal life. I have some WIP projects for other fandoms that I'd like to shove out the door and use to cleanse my palate a little, but again, the main goal right now is taking it slow.

If you have a fandom project right now that is stressing you out, I offer you permission from a random stranger to take a break from it, if you want one! Enjoy a nap on the couch and some good food and a walk, if you can and if you like! Fic will wait.

Thank you for all the lovely comments and messages and such! I appreciate them very much and will be trying to casually catch up on those again. ❤️❤️❤️

[certifiedsexed]

hi there! this isn’t about sex itself, but since periods are usually a part of sex ed and i’ve literally just been woken up because the cramps were bad enough, i thought i would ask — is it normal to be in a lot of pain when you’re on your period?

context: i still live with my abusive parents, who don’t let me take any kind of pain medication after a suicide attempt at thirteen, so i know that this problem might just be that i need to take a strong painkiller. also the pain doesn’t ever last more than three days? like the first three days (and sometimes the days leading up to it) of my period are always hell but then it’s fine, i have no pain afterwards.

but the problem is that the pain is… bad. like being woken up in the middle of the night because my sides hurt and my legs hurt isn’t uncommon, and there’s this weird thing where i’m scared to use the toilet during these first three days because it makes my butt and my sides hurt so much that i genuinely can’t move and have to bite myself to stop myself from screaming. sometimes i’ll be in so much pain, usually in my sides but also sometimes in my stomach or legs or my butt, that i can’t even move, so i just kind of… have to lie pressed into my bed and hold my breath.

my mother has always just told me that she had worse pain when she still used to get her period, and that i’d be completely fine if i just listened to her and used a hot water bottle (i have poor circulation, so hot/cold stuff just doesn’t really feel great for me usually), and i’ve always just kind of accepted that. i know it’s common for people who get periods to talk about how painful things like cramps are, but i genuinely usually feel so miserable for the first couple days of my period that if i don’t need to get out my bed, i literally won’t at all.

i’m just wondering… is everyone who gets periods in as much pain as i usually am, at least for the first couple days? or, since i know that people experience periods differently, are people in more/less pain than i am but it’s fine since this isn’t that bad and i should just take medication each month for it? idk, but ever since i started to get periods they’ve genuinely always made me feel so so bleak and in agony, and i’m someone i’d consider who has a maybe above ‘average’ pain tolerance (i have chronic back pain, migraines, and health issues that make it easy for me to sprain/fracture my ankles which i’ve unironically managed to do about eight times in the past two years — again, unfortunately all of this with mostly no painkillers unless i can get them from the school first aid box), so i just… don’t know anymore, but i thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.

anyways, unrelated but i really do love this blog — the reblogs are always good things to read as someone who’s still unpacking being raised by very puritanical parents, and the asks always offer good advice too, very empathetically in a way that sometimes catches me off guard (there was one post on here that was something about how the asker’s father would belittle them and i think your reply said something like ‘it’s not your fault and nothing’s wrong with that aspect of you’… which i know sounds obvious but that was something that i don’t think had ever been obvious to me ever since my father started doing the same when i was younger. it was really comforting to hear, is what i mean, and your replies often are. so thank you for that! and for the time + energy i can imagine it takes to run this, you post/rb so often!)

Hi! This is absolutely a sex ed question, you're right!

So, first, let me make one thing clear: no! You are not supposed to be in this level of pain on your period. Some pain is understandable but once it gets to the point it's bad/debilitating in Any fashion, something is going wrong.

But I also want to say, being in an abusive living situation can fuck up your periods. And so can being restricted from pain relief, which-just in case you're not aware-is another type of abuse.

But what you're talking about sounds like more than just a lack of basic pain relief. That's very disabling, even if it doesn't last long. It may be that intense reactions to periods run in your family [especially since your mother mentioned experiencing something similar] but that's still something you should be getting something like specialized pain meds for or even stopping your periods altogether.

What you're talking about, especially on top of an abusive living situation, is very unhealthy for you to have to deal with.

Not everyone is in that much pain. Some people are but that's a medical condition. It's a disability! What you're talking about is a disability. It can be caused by PMS or endometriosis or PMDD or it could even be connected to whatever causes your other chronic pain but it's still very much something your parents should be getting you checked out for.

Even if your mother had the exact same pain on her period, that doesn't mean you should have to suffer through it, especially not with her revoking your access to basic pain relief. That's all completely unacceptable and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

I'm not sure how helpful this is but I hope it's at least good to know the pain levels you're dealing with are unacceptable and Not "normal" period pain.

Also I'm so glad you're learning and enjoying the blog, especially the advice. I also grew up in an abusive household so to hear it's helping someone else in a similar situation means the world to me, fr. 💕 Sending love, Anon. <3

[paranormal-peri]

SCREW IT

PARANORMAL PERI PROLOGUE

“Hey kid, how about we head back? I have a bad feeling about this."

Peri followed behind his godkid through the halls and different exhibits of the museum,

in a human disguise of course.

He hated having to walk on two legs. Even with his wand as a cane, it would be much less exhausting and much more efficient to fly. If only that wasn't seen as "paranormal" to the human eye.

"Not now Peri, I'm so close."

Dev walked at a fast pace, relying on his peripheral vision to guide him as he kept his eyes on the screen of his tablet.

"What are we even looking for again? I could help you search. I can even use my magic to help if-"

"Stop questioning me, you don't need to know, I don't want your help."

"Sigh, I'm just trying to make things go faster."

It was strange to see Dev so set to do things on his own without skipping steps with a wish, especially to be out in a crowded public. He was usually so impatient. Maybe this was a good thing.

Maybe it would be a good thing if it wasn't so risky,

risky for Peri.

The highest possible coincidental inconvenience was at play.

Peri had noticed the strange presence of paranormal investigators at the scene.

They might have been here before they arrived, he wasn't sure, but they were much more prominent inside.

Maybe they are here for something in an exhibit? Surely they weren't here for Peri.

Multiple packs.

They hunted around like excited bloodhounds.

They interviewed passing civilians for clues.

They grazed the floors and walls with their Sci-fi looking technology.

They were so focused on their mission. They didn't hesitate to drop down to the floor or bump past others without a warning, not prioritizing how their obsessiveness and ignorance to social cues may make them look.

The clunkiness of some of their devices only caused more of a clumsy scene.

Nothing about them screamed professional, but they had the passion for success.

A success that led Peri worried.

He was a target.

Gulp

Dev, I highly recommend that I help you search! What is it you need? I can wish it to appear! Let me help!

"I already told you, I don't want your help."

Dev replied with a growing annoyance.

"Dev… in case you haven't noticed, there are… paranormal investigators around… who are looking… for paranormal beings… like… I don't know… Fairy godparents maybe?! With wands, and wings… and floaty crowny things?!"

"You'll be fine, you're in a disguise anyway. I need to get this done now!"

Dev snapped back with a growing frustration.

"Dev, kid… we. need. to. go. I need to go, but I don't want to leave you unattended in a public-"

“Augh! Stop talking to me! You are always over my head all the time! I wish you would just stay put! Stop following me around like a bug in my ear!”

Be careful what you wish for.

“I… sigh, as you wish…”

Wish granted

Magical lock

Left parked alone.

Peri watched in defeat as his godkid walked out of sight.

When did things all go so wrong? What was he doing wrong?

He just wants to do right by Dev, why did it feel like he was failing his kid?

Beeep beep beep beeeeeep

Peri was startled by the sudden beeping next to him.

"Good evening to you! You haven't seen anything strange around here, have you?"

An investigator nudged Peri.

"Haha, Strange? Strange? Uh, no, no, I haven't seen anything strange, why would I know about anything strange? That would be strange! I'm not strange! I'm human! Totally human, yeah, see? Haha..."

Nervous Peri. He needed to keep his cool. He wasn't good at acting human.

"Yeah, that's all good. I hope I didn't spook you. My name's Marcus, Marcus Wells. I work for the Galax Institute (unaccredited). Me and my colleagues are here to investigate a tip we got about some paranormal activity going on here. If you see something, say something. I don't bite, unless you're a ghost, haha!"

"Yeah, oh yeah, I totally get it, I haven't seen anything but I'll call if I do… or not. I mean I'm not a- um… what's that?"

Beeeep beeeeeeep beeeeeeep

"Oh, sorry, that's just my paranormal detection device. It goes off when it senses paranormal activity. I must be close! Very close actually…"

"Haha! Oh wow, yeah, that's weird, really weird, and… strange."

"Strange, Yeah…"

The human shifted into focus. He waved the tech in the air, then away, then to the ground. The beeping changed in intensity.

Oh no no no no, he was so close! This beeping sound was going to give him away! Peri had to hold it together, he had to play it off. He would walk away if he could, but he's not sure if he can. He was wished to stay put. Is there something in the rules about breaking something like that? He had to check the rules, but he can't just magically pull up the book while being inspected.

Marcus grazed the detection device across the floor, chasing the source of the sound until it tapped against Peri's shoe.

BEEEEEEEEEEP

"Holy mother of mac n' cheese! It's right under you!"

Marcus blindly shoves Peri to the side in an excited effort to chase the source.

But in this action, the hand used to shove held the tech against the chest of the purple haired human.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

No no no no no no no

PSHK- BOOM!

The device explodes against Peri's chest.

The two jolt back in pain and fall back from the burst. The ruptured box falls to the ground.

A slow realization filled the room with tension and silence.

It's all over, what is he gonna say? What can he say!? Nothing under this pressure!

"Ah! I know what you're thinking, but that was probably just a malfunction, I mean how old is that tech anyway?! ! I'm not strange or paranormal, I'm not a fairy, I swear!!

Glitchy soul.

Blue.

Red energy.

Magic failing.

Wings exposed.

No no no no no no no

"Ah! T-That's nothing! Those aren't real I uhh.. I'm uhh..."

Peri attempted to poof away his wings, but they wouldn't disappear correctly. Even when he finally got them to poof away right, his crown had appeared.

Poof away the crown-- the wings appear again.

Why wasn’t his magic working correctly?

"I uhh… I'm a… I'm a cosplayer! Yeah, Just a totally normal human doing totally normal human things! I'm not a real fairy or anything, I mean, would a fairy have totally real and normal legs?"

Stuttery sweaty mess.

His crown appears again. He staggers to swoosh it away. His totally real legs began to fail as well.

The fairy stumbles backward to the ground,

out from the locked standing place.

Their form was now fully exposed to the crowd.

Marcus remains silent in a state of shock.

"IT'S A FAIRY!"

Another human called.

No no no no no no no

Lights, Shouts, Camera, Action!

Chaos

No no no no no no no

They see him!

They see him as a fairy!

He is not supposed to-

He is breaking the rules!

What-?!

Peri quickly flies upwards to dodge a butterfly net.

No no no no no no no

Before he could even think about using his magic to disappear—if it would even work correctly this time—there was a sudden LIGHT that shot past him from behind.

Flash!

All he knew after that was falling.

He must have just lost balance.

It took a second, but his body finally responded to the sudden light.

A sharp wave of hot pain rippled through the veins of his wings.

Burning.

His body hit the ground with a sudden

THUD

His wand skids across the floor.

What just happened?!

Something felt so off.

Something felt so numb.

Something was missing.

Peri feels around the area radiating with heat and pain.

What-

My- my wing-?!

Horrified.

Part of his body was missing.

Where did it go?

He looked to the ground to see a spread of black dust and ashes.

His wings—at least most of one and the tips of the other—

De-atomized

“Be careful with that! You almost killed them!"

Marcus exclaimed.

“Isn’t that what we are supposed to do?! Fairies are dangerous! When you see one, you zap em'!”

“Sure, but wouldn't they be much more valuable alive? Think about how awesome it would be if we could capture them alive!”

“That’s a good point, very good point.”

No no no no no no no

He had to fix this.

This is why you always follow the rules.

Where's my-?

His wand was so far out of reach.

Peri buzzes and shuffles to quickly retrieve his wand, but stumbles down quickly in a shock of pain.

He couldn't fly over.

He needed to move quickly.

He needs his cane,

but that's what he is yet to retrieve.

He tries to stand on his own,

shaky from adrenaline and lack of stability.

His little heart was overworking itself in a state of panic.

But just when he thought he had it-

ZZT!

He jolted from a sharp pain in his leg and his body hit the ground.

Was that just his legs being weird to him again? Or was that-

Something else.

He looked back to see a metal jabbed into the back of his thigh, with a tuft of red at the top.

What is…

He pulled out the needle with a twitch of pain.

This?!

It was so big compared to his tiny hand.

This wasn't made for someone his size.

Whatever it was, the effects began quickly.

He could feel the cold foreign substance dispersing through his skin from where it entered.

He flickered his eyes in an effort to blink away the sudden feeling of drowsiness.

The fairy's breathing hitches in realization of what is going on.

What was this magic? What was it doing to him?

No, no, was he dying? If he closed his eyes would he not wake up?

No, he had to stay awake. He had to escape.

He had to get his wand.

His hands shake in panic, but his heart slows.

He struggled to stand, his legs were beginning to give out.

They began to feel numb.

He was stuck on the floor, fighting to keep his consciousness.

His body begged for rest, but he couldn't give it, not until he was away,

Not until he wouldn't be seen,

Not until he wasn't breaking the rules.

His mind was beginning to give out to rest as well.

Thoughts became sluggish and fogged.

His heart was slowed.

He was so close to the peace of sleep.

All he knew was his wand.

All he could see was his wand.

His peripheral vision had darkened and blurred. Shadows of assumable humans crowded around him.

He could still see his wand between the silhouette legs

It felt useless to fight the fatigue.

His head lay defeated against the cold polished floor.

But he couldn't give up.

N-no… I can't…

He tensed for movement and weakly lifted his head

…break…

He reached out to the blurred yellow glow in the darkness for one last try.

…Da Rules…

His hand and head rested against the floor for the final time.

Eyes rolled back and the squint of sight finally glued shut.

Darkness consumed his world.

The last sensation he could feel was touch of hands wrapping around him before everything went numb.

—

What happens next?

Read Paranormal Peri on AO3

—

This was originally meant to be a flashback in one of the newest chapters, but I just decided to cut it out and put it as the prologue because that just made a lot more sense.

I actually plan to turn this prologue into a comic.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Since reading that ask about Chloe where you linked Sara Z videos, I wanted to ask, if you'd be willing to share, what you plan for Chloé in your rewrite of the show. I'm not asking if you "think she should be redeemed" bc that is a child in a cartoon lol-but I mean to ask how you'd write, well, whatever happens in her story. Growth or not or a roller coaster of ups and downs.

Overall I really enjoyed your changes to the world and characters and I think about that version of Miraculous often. The scenes where Adrien tries to talk to Chloé about her behavior really stood out to me. I'm just curious to pick your brain a little lol.

(Post in question)

I am a total sucker for a good redemption arc. I like seeing people change for the better! However, just because I like a redemption arc doesn't mean that I'm going to throw one in for no reason. This is especially true for Chloé since redeeming Chloé is not something that you can do with ease. It eats up a lot of screen time because Chloé is not an easy character to redeem. She needs a lot of active attention. That's a problem because this isn't her story. It's Adrien and Marinette's, meaning that the only reason to redeem Chloé is if you want to tie her into one or both of their character arcs.*

That's why I don't blame anyone for ignoring Chloé or only hinting at redemption. Unless you're making her the main character or giving her a big role in the lead characters' story*, you really shouldn't redeem her. The show actively shows why! Felix, Sabrina, Nathalie, and Gabriel's "redemptions" all fall incredibly flat because those stories lacked substance. They needed a lot more screen time to work and a formula show is never going to be able to pull that off.

Now that I've given those disclaimers, let's talk about why I would absolutely take the time to redeem Chloé if the format allowed for that kind of story. The answer is quite simple: Adrien needs an arc focused around setting boundaries and learning that you can't live your life focused on making others happy. An arc where he learns how to decide when he wants to give someone a second chance and when he wants to give up on them. He also needs to learn that giving up on them is okay. That you can't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

This arc cannot be about him and his father. Adrien is too young for that. The power balance is too stacked against him. He can't cut his father off at fifteen and the arc can't happen after the terrorist reveal makes cutting Gabriel off a possibility in spite of Adrien's youth. That's way too much way too fast. You need a less serious relationship to give this arc to so that it can take its time to be messy and complex. When you embrace the hinted at childhood friendship between Chloé and Adrien, she becomes the perfect fit for this kind of arc. A person who Adrien has equal power to and who he can muddle his way through things with, letting them both learn and grow into better people, setting the stage for Adrien to avoid completely falling apart when he learns the truth about his father. That's why Adrien so desperately needs an arc like this. His naive little sunshine self simply isn't ready to face the Gabriel reveal until he's done some major growing up.

Obviously you could use this setup to give Chloé a damnation arc, but as I said above, I'm a sucker for a good redemption. I want Chloé to be a better person and find happiness! There's also the fact that a damnation arc doesn't work as well as a redemption in this context. It's important for Adrien to be able to make the choice to give Chloé another chance and to have that choice be a struggle. Something he really has to work through. If he abandons Chloé and never looks back or welcomes her back without a second thought, then you're not setting him up to deal with the fallout of what's coming with his father. Chloé needs to feed like a proper proto Gabriel. You want her and Adrien's story to end in a way that makes you feel like he really is as ready as he could ever be to face his father.

It's also worth noting that, if Chloé really was Adrien's childhood friend, then she should have some sort of relationship with Gabriel and/or Emilie. She should know the Agreste's family dynamics way better than any of his new friends, which is another reason why I like redeeming her. I want Adrien to have someone who really gets it.

*If Miraculous was the kind of show where side characters consistently took center stage for a while, then Chloé being redeemed without a clear tie to the leads could work. It's a nice way to pad out the run time and is what I originally thought the show was doing with her. But Miraculous has no interest in giving anyone a proper story, not even the leads, so I'm still baffled by the choices the writers made with Chloé. I will never fully get what was going on there.

[starberry-cupcake]

UPDATING AGAIN!!! I probably won't be able to read in the next 2 days, so I wanted to do some catching up before that. Life, etc.

previously in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 37

there's a training montage before the Beast arrives

the narrator (still undetermined, I'm starting to wonder if it's harrow but a harrow with all her memories or something, I don't know yet) says what we've been thinking the whole time

"the lyctors also did what they perhaps should have from the very start, and organized loosely planned, often contradictory sessions of instruction for Ianthe—and for you"

abysmal organizational skills, these people

harrow is wondering who of all her companions will betray the emperor

I think it's you, harrow, but I'm not certain yet

harrow is also wondering if she'll live or not, everyone's betting against her but I'm still holding my faith for the little feral kitten

doctor reverend emperor john tells harrow again that if she wants to be locked in with him in coward corner, she can do that

the emperor's hideout:

I suggest you do that, harrow, and while you're in there, you kill him

harrow lives, the emperor dies, we all win

harrow asks doctor reverend emperor john why he's such a coward

not with those words, exactly

I mean, I'm not saying he's a coward because he hides, he's a coward because he hides while his lyctors die for him

the emperor gives one of his Speeches about how when he resurrected nine planets, he became God and without him, the Houses die with him, because the star of their system would fail and become a black hole

I think it's a risk we'd all have to take if it kills him tbh, bring in the black hole

"so many people hate us" YOU DON'T SAY

harrow asks dr reverend emperor john who AL is

the emperor proceeds to change subject by asking harrow if her and yandere twin are practicing safe sex

to which harrow responds with "we don't even like each other"

and he's like "sorry, sorry, my bad"

BACK TO A.L. WHICH IS THE SUBJECT I'M INTERESTED IN

AL is indeed Annabel Lee though her real name is undisclosed

she was the emperor's bodyguard and the first resurrected and maybe the blueprint of the resurrection thing itself and also kind of everyone's sort of mother??? it's complicated

the First House apparently went out via rising sea levels and nuclear fission

as one does, if you didn't pay attention to captain planet

emperor clown says that she wasn't a human being and she struggled to pretend that she was

as if you guys behaved as human beings, but ok

and that she died after the first time they did the killing that brought them into this situation in the first place

we've heard a bit of this with teacher, in the gideon-less au

but she didn't die, according to him, the lyctors asked the emperor to kill her and he imprisoned her in the locked tomb

so the emperor here is maybe not telling the whole truth

which, again, confuses me, because how can exposition be real in an au that is not, unless there's something real in it in some way

there is new information in the gideon-less au that is relevant and also accurate to our present situation, even if the au isn't what actually happened

and it feels like a hotel california because the people who are alive in there, as time passes by, are the ones that died here

like, if you think about it, those that remain alive there are all the ones that died (the fifth, the kids, martita, real!dulcinea, protozoa, ortus)

the ones who are dying there are still alive here (camilla, palmolive, regina george twin, judith) except for duracell bunny nephew (because his soul is sailing the high seas), and mayonnaise uncle, who is my one outlier that ruins my theory

BUT HE SAID BTW that ominous thing to regina george twin, before pushing her off, about her sister being "out there"

also, palmolive said "kill us twice, shame on god" or something along those lines???

SO WHAT KIND OF PURGATORY STUFF ARE WE CAUGHT IN HERE??? IDK

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE CHAPTER

everything crashes because dr reverend emperor john tells harrow that AL would have liked her and that he would have liked to be her father

harrow proceeds to have a meltdown about that

which, fair, if this guy told me that, I'd also be devastated

NOW here's where I started wondering if harrow is the narrator

like there's two harrows or something

because the narrator says "you bereft idiot" and I think harrow's the only one who would dunk on harrow like that

I don't know, I'm probably not making any sense, but what if????

the emperor admits to being a fool which, fair

and harrow admits to having looked into the tomb

and the emperor says it's impossible that she bypassed the wards because he didn't include a way in and made a ward that wouldn't answer to anyone

he thinks whatever harrow thinks she saw wasn't what is there and that her parents died for nothing

harrow doesn't trust her mind one bit, so she questions what she really saw

and the emperor asks her who tampered with her temporal lobe

which accounts for the bleeding when she tries to remember, I think

I also think that she did it herself, maybe? or at least with her consent, but she doesn't remember

I think there's a plan here

in any case, harrow doesn't describe ice cube barbie to the emperor

she just runs away with more questions than answers, as usual

CHAPTER 38

if you thought harrow's mental turmoil would be taking a break, think again

this book really exhausts one emotionally huh

harrow is questioning all of the things she thinks she knows and can see with her own two eyes after the emperor told her she didn't really see the tomb or ice cube barbie

which is great, because now she sees not!dulcinea under her bed

she goes to fetch yandere twin and she sees nothing

I legit thought she was gaslighting harrowcita tbh

but then harrow doesn't see her anymore

I don't know, man, I don't trust anyone in this place

also, alleged gideon aka ortus tries to kill harrow one last time, for the road

he doesn't kill her, but tells her not to go into the river and to end herself without suffering because he failed her by not killing her

and he also says "this wasn't my idea"

harrow (and anyone reading) wants to know whose idea it was, but telling us would be just too straightforward for lyctors who do everything dramatically backwards

narrator says "you were always such a little bitch when you were angry"

IS THIS HARROW? IS IT? don't tell me

CHAPTER 39

the Beast is approaching and we have a terrible plan, so it's time to start it

harrow makes a comment about her sword and how "your dead self told you to carry" it

♥ we love the sword because we love gideon ♥

the Herald starts approaching and there's a very unpleasant energetic situation going on with its arrival

harrowcita does some meditation that sounds actually very cool

"You made yourself one inhalation and exhalation—reduced yourself to one sensation, following it from down at the toes up all the lines of your body to the crown of your head"

this situation of pain and suffering is gonna go on for over an hour, according to mercygirl

I mean, nobody told you to kill planets so, that's what you get

the chapter ends with a 10 minute mark until breach and with harrow walking to her death

but next freakin chapter starts with "nine months and 29 days before the emperor's murder" SO I GUESS WE WON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IMMEDIATELY AFTER

and this is where I have to stop, so until next time, I really won't know what happens and I'll have time to marinate all those wacky theories I just threw

[fall0utmind]

I really liked the way you characterized bez and pecco in your fic, and it got me thinking about the relationship between marc and the academy. And since you opened your asks, you me yapping about It's so weird because he is closer to them in age than he is in Valentino but by the virtue of his achievement he seem kind of unattainable to them. And obviously because of the rivalry, they don't really interact with him (except to pick a fight but that doesn't count). But then, he becomes pecco's teammate and, unless they put a wall in the ducati garage and factory, he will have to get to know him. And he realizes maybe Marc is not that bad (batshit insane maybe but not evil), and while marc is initially guarded around him, they do eventually get closer (and probably ropes the whole academy into becoming friends with him). Valentino may advise him against it but pecco is a grown man he knows what he's getting into.

Now I hesitate, whether this should be abo or not, but i think the secondary gender dynamics are very interesting (the idea of pack as a family or the whole non verbal communication through scent etc ), also it forces people that are trying to ignore their feelings for each other into situations they don't really like. Or maybe an au where you share a soulbound with people close to you.

My point is, at some point, marcnaia end up share that bound (whether romantic or platonic), and that pisses Vale so much, cuz secretly he thinks "that is my rival with whom i had a disastrous and very divorce, go find your own" (and pecco probably can feel that since they share a bound ), especially if he never got to build that kind of bound with marc and regrets it because maybe it would've saved them . (honestly it would be funnier if they are just friends but Rossi is just there in the background eyes twitching because he thinks there is something more). And Marc is like "what exactly is your problem" (beside the obvious),and either things get so weird they HAVE to talk about it (unlikely) or some catastrophe happens and vale has to get his shit together and maybe realize he fucked up concerning marc, but i am not too sure about how it would play out.

Anyway, just wanted to share this with you, maybe it would give you ideas. Side note: I love your writing, it's amazing. You really know how to balance between hurt and confort.

Okay okay, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT MARC X VR ACADEMY

So many!!!! So, thanks for giving me the opportunity to yap.

I defo think that for some of the academy, notably, Cele and Bez, there is still a very unattainable air to Marc. I mean, Marc is an 8-time world champion, after all. I think for luca, it is less of that due to his relationship with the brothers and being around when Marc and Vale were friends. Pecco is also a world champion, so Marc is a little less untouchable for him, but I defo think there's still that air around him because Marc really should be the God of the sport. Especially after Vale retired. But he's become a bit of a devil. Anyways so the academy defo see Marc as slightly apart, untouchable but dangerous etc etc

Now- pecco and marc!!!!!!! I want to write a fic about their friendship and vale being jealous! I actually have a draft on my laptop!

I defo think pecco is going to develop a bit of a soft spot for marc. Like, Marc is really just insane, especially about winning, lol. So they get close, and it kinda drags some of the academy into their friendship, too. Like bez begins to humanise him, luca already likes marc, but they get closer!! Cele is 100% hero worshipping which is hilarious and kinda sweet.

Okay, I really love abo and I think that could be so good, but I have a few other abo fics in the works, so maybe for this one, I wouldn't. But, that being said, I adore your ideas of both abo and soul bond au!!! I think there's so much that can be done with those AUs. I especially love the soul bond ideas or something similar. Keep an eye out for some abo AUs going forward though, there's a few coming!!!

In terms of jealousy- pecco and marc are definitely having a championship rivalry, but it's very professional and civil. They love battling each other on the track and being friendly off it. Vale is watching this like what the fuck and he keeps babbling to Pecco about mind games. Pecco has just reached the point where he roles his eyes and ignores it, humming every so often to make it seem like he's listening. Because he's an adult and Marc has been nothing but polite and civil. If they fuck up, they apologise to each other and move on.

Vale is watching all of the Ducati videos where Marc and Pecco are doing stupid things together and are laughing, and marc is looking at Pecco like he cares, and Pecco is clearly attracted to Marc (or Vale thinks so?) And excuse you, that's Valentino's rival and enemy. How dare Pecco be his friend, how dare he take marc away?

Pecco has no idea why Vale is suddenly acting so weird. Marc clicks on pretty quickly but thinks it's just that he hates the friendship him and pecco have formed, not that Valentino is jealous!

I'm not sure what would happen that would make them get their shit together. Probably alcohol involved, though, let's be real. Marc definitely gets his 9th title and Vale isn't as mad as he thought but he really needs Pecco to back off and oh? He's jealous???

I absolutely love the idea of marc hanging out with the academy without Valentino knowing too. Or maybe marc is invited to the ranch or something, and Vale just feels awkward and jealous watching his boys riding and joking with Marc fucking Marquez as if he's always been there and suddenly Vale can imagine marc always being there. Fitting in with their little family. And next thing he knows, he's imagining mornings with Marc, waking up and watching him in the early morning light because he's so beautiful and UGH. Anyways cue Valentino breakdown.

Love love love this whole idea!!

Thank you so much for asking and for your kind words!!!! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

(I might make this into a drabble, if you'd like, let me know )

[xtinyslip]

"… it was a lie. a lie that not even he was aware of. my father? he was adopted, he was never actually born a pederson." he had a right to know because in a way it had shaped a lot of his years as much as it had shaped hers. hadn't it? he'd been right there with her, when her father had been making her life hell ; he had a right to know that basically… it had all been bollocks. "he was, is. it's rather complicated. not much of a surprise there, hm?" she smiled but it was evident her smile was full of sadness. no, she had never wanted to lose parker but her father having to lose will? all because he had been the one to constantly defend her? none of this should ever have happened.

"you like it?" but she clearly already knew the answer with how she was grinning back. the fact she was grinning, for whatever reason made her blush. perhaps, because it felt like she hadn't grinned genuinely like this since the last time she saw him alive. "that's a strong possibility but i'm not sure that there's a chance of ever changing that now, hm? i'm not sure we're a viable match for normal, those days are long behind us. normal is… boring. i could care less for it. i would rather have complicated with you than normal with anyone else." she didn't care for normal, it was a word she'd never practically known the meaning too. not really. she'd never experienced it. "bring someone? i'm not sure how appropriate it would be for me to show up with my ten dogs? is this place even dog friendly?" she did smile at him, she was being… playful. it was her way of telling him that there was no one like THAT. she had people, she wasn't completely alone but how could she ever love anyone else? "there would be eleven of us. i can pay." she chuckled, letting her thumb stroke over the top of his hand. in all seriousness, she wasn't about to show up there with all her dogs. no, hardly practical. "we could… we could do dinner? i'd like that? unless --" was there someone? not that she cared if there was. that might have been terrible but again, she didn't care. "i could tell you or you could come by sometime and see it for yourself? i could give you the not so grand tour?" the house she picked was nice, no doubts about it but it wasn't… it wasn't the level of fancy that anyone was expecting. "that's alright. you didn't know. i wasn't even aware you were here. this is --" well, IT WAS MEANT TO BE. was there any other way to describe it? "lovable? i'm sure you are the only one to describe me as that." when he placed that lock of hair behind her ear, she knew she was blushing again. it wasn't even the act, it was just because it was him, and so a simple act meant so much more just because it was him doing it.

"i'm not so sure about that. it's been rather… tough for me in that department but i would like to believe that it is." tough was an understatement. how many people had let her down? she didn't want to think about it. "i can, and i will. it's not what you think." she saw him glance to his hands, bringing her hand to gently hold his wrist and give it a reassuring squeeze. "lets them? are they not old enough to make that decision for themselves?" she was defensive but over him, and the fact that this was clearly some kind of fucked up power play ; one she used to know too well and she didn't want that hanging over him… or gabi. "take it from me, and i'd know. money isn't everything. i have seen how you are with gabi, i've seen it parker. i'm sure you're a fantastic father." cecilia instantly felt her body tense when he said that this had all been paid for by elaine, it meant that she could take it away with a snap of her fingers. she'd been in the restaurant once, she held no real attachment for it yet but clearly he did. "no," and it was a sharp no. "you don't owe that woman anything. i have the money, however much it is? tell me, you can have it and use it to pay her back. tell her you won big, i don't care as long as she knows it didn't come from me. i'm asking you to trust me, will you?" she was doing this to protect him, and the money was just sitting there. she didn't want it, she would rather have them both be alive and none of that happened, than have a penny of that money. "yes, i would like that and so would winston. he's been… struggling recently. i'm sure a new friend could be exactly what he needs. we'll set a date, hm?" no hesitation. was she using winston as an excuse to see parker? perhaps, but she was sure he wouldn't mind. well, maybe he would but she was sure he would have a nice time regardless. "if he ever approaches you? don't believe a word he says. call me, and do not go anywhere with him. parker, this is important." because she couldn't… she couldn't do that again. she let him embrace her, sinking into his embrace was the safest she had felt in months. she knew it was by how her breathing was beginning to calm, become less erratic than it had been. "this time it's you that lives." her voice was quiet, even with his hands on the side of her face but regardless of how quiet it was. she meant every word.

cecilia wasn't sure whether they could deepen this kiss any further, however, he proved her wrong and she was glad of that as the kiss deepened. "i love you." she wasn't even aware that she'd managed to say it through the kiss, she didn't even know she'd said it out loud but it didn't matter ; she meant it all the same. she'd pressed the emergency stop button, it would freeze until she pressed it again or until maintenance wizened on and brought the elevator manually to his floor. be mine? i'll do whatever it takes to be yours. the tears were because… this was overwhelming her senses but for once it was in a good way. for the first time since this had happened, she wasn't secretly drowning in grief and guilt. now she was drowning in him and she welcomed it, she welcomed this feeling. this time, this moment, this space was there's and she had every intention of making the most of this time as she could. her lips hadn't broken from his, she had no intention of them doing so either, only in the brief moments where they came up for air before it started again. bringing her free hand she started to undo the buttons on his shirt, squeezing his hand with the one that was still tangled in his. @fcdcdmcmories

"OKAY. GOOD." eyes not leaving her either, because.. yes, he knew what she meant. was that what he was feeling too? honestly, he didn't know how to explain it. it felt as if he had started breathing again as soon as she had walked in and.. maybe, he didn't want to say it out loud because he was too scared too. HOW COULD HE? "if i didn't know any better, i'd say we were talking about a completely different person. the finn pederson? it's.. woah. whoever this person that he loves is.. i hope i get to shake their hand one day. sounds like they may be quite remarkable, if they made all of this HAPPEN when so many others have TRIED?" it was something else and normally, he wouldn't have believed it but he knew her. if there was something that she wouldn't lie about? it was ALL this.

"it's a cute look. i like it. BLUSH AND ALL," he liked it, he liked her - no, he loved her and even looking at the blush on her cheeks made him grin like an idiot. realising that.. yes, he wanted to be the reason behind all of those smiles. selfish? maybe, but.. "you know, sometimes i think that.. we're all too messed up to want anything that other people consider simple. normal. trust me, i tried. doing the whole dating someone else and going for the whole white picket fence life, but.. IT NEVER WORKED OUT. I GUESS I KNOW WHY NOT. I LIKE THE COMPLICATED A LITTLE TOO MUCH." that wasn't why. now, he knew why it hadn't worked out and why it never would, because his heart was with her. he was hers, whole body and heart and fucking soul and god, that was scary. "thank you," not realising that he was literally beaming. "it's never too late, is it? i mean if.. you wanna come over to have dinner and bring someone.. we'd love to have you guys. it'd be on the house, of course. SPECIAL PEOPLE DON'T PAY." did she? have someone? he hadn't considered that possibility until now and.. suddenly, he regretted saying what he had. no, he didn't want to see her come here with anyone else. he didn't want to see her with anyone else at all. "like the one you had back home? you always did like your fancy baths. i'm not surprised. SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE." nodding a little bit. "i did. i did miss you. i tried not to, but.. i always went right back there. i didn't know you were here or.. i would have.. i don't know.. reached out? said hi?" he was too terrified to do so and still was, but he thought that they'd always end up back here, one way or another. wouldn't they? "no, you don't, but.. that's part of why you're as loveable as you are," moving forward and placing a lock of hair behind her ear, in a gesture that was.. more tender than anything that he had done for anyone in a very long time. right?

"and it's really okay. to let other people in. you'll find that more often than not? they don't let you down." sometimes, they did and that was okay. it was part of life, wasn't it? "you know that you can tell me anything, right?" looking down at his hands for a moment there. "yeah, it's.. laney has them over with her. mostly. she lets them stay over here.. what, once every three weeks? and it's okay. really. she's the big time doctor, who's dating the new mayor and has the biggest hospital in town. she can give them more than i could ever and besides.. i owe her a lot. she leant me the money to pay for.. well, the restaurant. all of this. i'm still paying her back. SLOWLY." sadness passing through his face for a moment, because he did want his daughters to be here more but.. elaine could take care of them better than he could. he knew that. and besides, he owed her.. all of this. "FRODO CAN SHARE. BESIDES, HE MAY LIKE.. WINSTON, IS IT? you should bring him over sometime, if you'd like? we can take them for a walk. together. i mean.. them. if you'd like? only if you want to, it was.. huh, an idea." and who was blushing now? it was him and.. he found himself glancing upwards for a second. the words had been out before he could stop them.. right? "what? kramer? are you talking about kramer? he.. did he hurt you? afterwards? IF HE'S HERE? I SWEAR TO GOD, HE WON'T LAY A HAND ON YOU. I PROMISE. PSYCHOPATHS LIKE THAT SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO WALK FREE." he was finding that.. it was kramer that he blamed for that night. for his friends, dead all over them. gabi. it was all him. he wrapped his arms around her tightly, almost not believing what he was seeing. the fact she was this scared? "IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. YOU'RE SAFE, CEE. I'D NEVER LET ANYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO YOU." placing his hands on both sides of her face, shaking his head. "we won't ever be in that situation again and.. it's okay. i don't want you to feel guilty about anything. you did.. what you had to do. TO LIVE."

he had spent so long angry at her for it, but... it was the truth. wasn't it? and deep down, he would have always wanted her to be the one that survived. always. right? "i'm here. i am. it's me. i'm okay. nothing happened, i.. let me show you." he moved forward, deepening the kiss, as he wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. the elevator seemed to be frozen in place but right now, it didn't matter. all that mattered was her and in this moment - how could he have ever thought of loving anyone else? SHE WAS IT, SHE WAS IT FOR HIM AND MAYBE, THIS WAS FOOLISH, BUT.. IT WAS THE TRUTH. HE COULDN'T HELP HOW HE FELT. i still love you. just like i did back then. maybe even more. i don't think i could ever stop, no matter how complicated and messed up everything else is. she.. was crying? no, he didn't understand any of this. did he? it seemed as if she was still the cecilia he knew but so, so different and.. what was this? he could have pulled back when he felt her tears against his cheeks and yet, he didn't. he continued kissing her, pressing her against the wall, moving his one free hand to whip the tears away, keeping the other one in hers. TIME SEEMED TO HAVE FROZEN STILL AND RIGHT NOW? THIS WAS ALL THERE WAS. THE TWO OF THEM. THE WORLD? IT DIDN'T MATTER. / @xtinyslip

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

the writing fanfic to "huh? this doesn't seem like how romance is normally written" to "am i somewhere on the aro spectrum" to "oh god the reason i dont identify w the generic aro label is bc i need a microlabel" to "fuck i need to rewrite this whole fic" pipeline

[budd-ie]

“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when

[deoidesign]

.

[silusvesuius]

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

[jalo-parker]

My laptop charger got accidentally left at my other parents house for the week so all I have is playboy bunny outfit helsknight.. 😁😁 I am so normal and sane i promise <- hes very clearly lying

I have no explanation for this.. hope you fellow helsknight fans enjoy..?

[bucket-puns]

Knight Zwei West Ishmael on- your house actually, pay up.

[sysig]

The most fun you can have, barring the pain and torture (Patreon)

[walker-lister]

I just have to remind myself sometimes that no matter what anyone else says, the way a piece of media makes me feel and the positive impact it has had on my queer identity is valid, and that tearing myself apart thinking I have to defend it or questioning my own place within queer communities is not at all important when compared to the almost tangible sense of 'rightness' that piece of media helped me to feel about myself.