#in which case it doesnt say that..
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My laptop charger got accidentally left at my other parents house for the week so all I have is playboy bunny outfit helsknight.. 😁😁 I am so normal and sane i promise <- hes very clearly lying
I have no explanation for this.. hope you fellow helsknight fans enjoy..?
#cw suggestive#suggestive#art#artists on tumblr#jaloparker art#hermitblr#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#helsknight#helsknight fanart#playboy bunny costume#draw your babygirl in this#helsknight is bbg#hes not very happy about this but its fine he did it for me#also new helsknight tattoo !!#the galactic says hels knight#unless i spelled something wrong..#in which case it doesnt say that..#but it should !!#i checked a few times while i was drawing it#sorry for this btw its all i had to post this week..#otherwise it never would've seen the light of day (maybe)#helsknight 💞#i want to hug him and hold his hands and tell him that i care about him#i dont want to make him less evil i just want him to know that hes loved#i want to have him in my arms as he drifts off to sleep#im so gay#filthy little boy kisser (me)#i mean look at him you have to give him a little kiss..#hes so pretty
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How's that possible? Since when did you start eating spicy food? I told you I'd do it for real next time. ...Don't touch me, or—I'll kill you!
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#uservid#userspicy#userrain#userspring#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#chen yi is really sitting there the whole time with only one thought in his mind and it is: i am gonna kiss this man. and then he does!!#okay but heres where i gotta get analytical about it bc ppl will say blah blah theyre so good at miscommunication and im sorry but NO#THEY ARE THE OPPOSITE. when ai di runs away at the end of ep10 after chen yi says he's figured it out and next time he'll do it for real-#chen yi does not seek ai di out Once after that nor does he try to force him into any admissions. HONESTLY HE DOESNT SINCE THE EP10 BAR#he LETS AI DI COME TO HIM EVERY. TIME. he lies a little to keep ai di from running but he doesnt ever actually force ai di to return to him#any time AFTER he CONFIRMS ai di has real feelings for him-which he does during the bar scene. there was no miscommunication there#it was only listening and observing. and chen yi doesnt push farther than offering gifts or that little lie because he wants ai di -#All of ai di. the truest parts of ai di.... he wants the REAL AI DI the one he knows and loves - to come to him of his own volition#in Whatever Form That May Be. because he loves him!! & in this case the form is in torture and accusations bc chen yi's lie has been caught#but chen yi is nothing less than DELIGHTED. bc AI DI STILL CAME. its further proof of ai di's feelings for him and chen yi loves it#& now it's chen yi's turn to show ai di all the ways in which he loves and belongs to him. its time to play his hand after waiting so long
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like strangers all over again
#ace attorney#thinking. about how in the original cases of aa1 (meaning everything except ep5)#edgeworth doesnt have any smiling sprites outside of his courtroom ones#which makes for some funny moments but also says a lot about his character at the time i think#but then when he shows up in aa2 farewell one of the first things he does is. smile#it just rlly stuck out to me#and how much he mustve really changed in his time away#and now phoenix has to catch up to him again#posting this at fuck o clock in the morning i dont care
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man i remember when nevermore first came out i was sad it was so underrated.. but now after all the drama, i wish it had stayed underrated, because a big fanbase (especially one with a lot of minors) ALWAYS brings drama
#not saying red didn't fuck up. they definitely did#but i do think this has been blown way out of proportion#and it seems more of a case of someone making a mistake and then people escalating it#classic case of people jumping the gun and trying to make it into a black-and-white situation#and thinking making mistakes make someone into a horrible irredeemable person.#even though everyone makes mistakes#honestly this is why official fandom discords should start making themselves 18+ or at least 16+ imo. to avoid all of this#anyway im not leaving the fandom. if i had to leave a fandom for every drama blown out of proportion that comes up#then i couldnt be in anything#bro ive been in fandom for years. ive seen this kind of stuff happen plenty of times and its always the same.#it always seems like such a big deal at the time. then a few years later you look back at it and think ''oh yeah this was so dumb''#honestly this is more of the norm than the exception. which is also why i think the drama is so tiring#im just currently taking a break from it for unrelated reasons (currently not hyperfixating on it. will come back when hyperfixation return#nevermore#webcomic#nevermore webtoon#i just hope the comic doesnt go under because of this#best case scenario the fandom gets smaller and hopefully less toxic
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i think im in too deep w charmander duo. bc i was thinking abt how flame thinks very little abt bans, and how theres a genuine possibility he helps the Guardians ban people not even bc he thinks bans should matter, but just like for fun bc he doesnt think of it that seriously. which led me to thinking "wait but pangi could help him change his mind ^-^" nd now im just thinking of an au where pangi does Just That .
#lifesteal spoilers#charmander duo#pangi#flamefrags#i gen think only losing mane or pangi could help change his perspective tbh#i don't see pangi doing this realistically but that's why its an au :D#bc to me in this au its like worst case scenario of flame banning more than just already banned players#maybe not at the end of s6 but approaching the end#so thats why i think pangi would be more okay banning himself to help flame see things differently#i think hes aware zam and derap seperately will Not let him stay banned too bc zam is zam#and derap would stop at nothing to revive pangi like theyre buddies!!#but he would at least say he wont come back to emphasize how permanent it is and how no matter who is banned#it will matter to at least one person. itll impact SOMEONE. just like pangi is intending for his own life to matter to flame#tho if pangi did ban himself i think itd upset zam and derap a lot ToT#like esp if its for the guy whos been banning other people. even if it does change flame its like#itd feel like a loss nonetheless for the team intent on keeping everyone alive#esp bc its someone derap actually cares abt#sry idk if zam cares abt pangi like that which is why im focusing on cringe and charmanders#LOL#ik empires are a thing but zams way of treating pangi def doesnt show his care tbh#like the only people who actually seem to value pangi on ls is derap and flame#and even they would never choose him first#but they care enough that I think pangi being banned would impact them the most#sorry for angst posting on christmas#it might happen again#later#it depends. im in a Mood.#n e ways! im gonna nap before my social obligations ^-^
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They're soulmates in every single universe and I miss them at the most random times.
#my characters#haha funny thing is that venus doesnt even exist in base plot she is ONLY for AUs#in base plot ego the ginger guy is a prince and serenity the navy haired guy is an energy alien#and serenity takes on the form of a human to be fake engaged to ego and its never meant to actually end up with them married#but serenity falls in love with the prince and feels immense guilt when they meet up#and then ego is like HAHA YEAH my life is the greatest cause i get to marry my best friend but technically youre best friend by default#since i have zero other friends because i cannot leave the castle which kinda sucks but whatever#and serenity can give his life force to others to keep them healthy and usually stops by to heal egos younger brother#so he looks tired a lot bc he is depleting his own life to help others#and and in au versions hes just chronically tired and very much in love with ego who is completely oblivious#and half the time they (bc theyre mine) are pining mutually thinking ahaha theres no WAY hed like me#or in egos case a lot of the time in the au its what if he only likes me cause i spoil him rotten bc im super wealthy and i love gifting#and serenity ! in base plot since he is an alien from like... space.... basically... another realm#he resides with another royal family in a different kingdom and the king there treats him like a son#which plays into the au versions where serenity is adopted and he just really loves his dad a lot#like really admires the man who adopted him and raised him as a single father who almost always has a connection to egos dad since#in base theyre just two kings being buddies and trying to get good relations between their kingdoms#but anyway ego is one of the few ocs i have that will actively say#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH : D very openly and i love that for him??#not a lot of my ocs will be that open about their feelings but ego is very good at communication and talking and stuff#compared to serenity who is an alien who doesnt even have to talk where he originated bc the aliens are just blue energy blobs#and they sense each other and communicate silently#so making him take a human form is like MMMM not sure how to interact like a normal human tbh#i owe art to one person then i am able to get back to indulgent stuff for me and reqs and stuff#this was just so i had something to post today since idk if the art i owe someone will be cool to post or not
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“Amity and Hunter maul each other” listen to me carefully we were all FOOLS. Luz and Hunter maul each other on the living room floor and yes biting IS on the table. Amity and Hunter are competitive rivals who are extremely sassy and petty when they talk shit. They are the only people in the entire family who can say the most SCATHING out of pocket things to each other and take it as friendly banter.
Make no mistake, sometimes it would result in a brawl, but these two are such near-mirrors of each other that it’s never serious and they think they’re hilarious. "How’s the divorce?” “Horrendous. How’s the face?” is a greeting they’ll have at like 8 in the morning and give everyone instantaneous cardiac arrest
#the owl house#toh#amity blight#hunter toh#hunter noceda#luz noceda#amity and hunter#text post#jokes#rivalry#drabble post#hunter and amity siblings#siblings#listen to me. luz and hunter may be the siblings. but amity has 2 actual older siblings#she has 14 years of experience shes not here to play games. luz initiated him into the family and now hes fresh meat#this is her future in-law shes going to MAKE him handle her at her worst. a sentiment hunter also shares#theyll compete over literally anything. it doesnt matter whos right in the end its about WINNING#unless they decide to team up in which case F to whoever theyre against cause theyre about to lose breathing privileges#theyre not therapy buddies not in the slightest but one of them will say something incredibly fucked up and the other just nods sagely#like theyll try. every once in a while theyll attempt something genuine. its always awkward but the heart is there they appreciate it#everyone ELSE thought they hated each other bc of the insane shit theyll say. but no. this is how they coexist with each other#like cats who were shoved into the same living space without sniffing each other through the door#hunter bullies amity for literally just standing in the same vicinity of luz. she hits him with the maidenless behavior#realizes he got a crush on willow. her bestie. and mocks his ass for the rest of his LIFE#she is only letting that shit go when she DIES. maybe not even then#hunter hits her with the motherless behavior. before remembering this also applies to him and amity bullies his ass again
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I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive
Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support
Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted
So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too
He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.
And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him
Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart
Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best
Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level
Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)
Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions
Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?
Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist
But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again
Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are
This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down
And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up
I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean
He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety
Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true
#ppl do a similar thing with seri but for different reasons but i do think in his case its worse cause thats a whole ass adult#anyway. i dont think im saying anything new i just wanted to ramble <3#i missed mobposting what can i say#ik i saw somebody talk about this in a more eloquent way but i doubt i could find the post cause i dont think i rbed it so rip#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama shigeo#that ova needs to come out already im going insane#cine te a intrebat#also hope i didnt come off as too negative towards reigen or smth#but like. my favourite part of confession is him saying (i didnt know!) LIKE YEAH. U DIDNT. LMAO.#ppl treat him as a bit too reliable sometimes and dont give him a lot of room to grow like Reigen isnt even 30 yet!! he aint that old!!#he still needs to get HIS own shit tgt before giving out advice just saying. also he totally doesnt understand mob fully. how can he??#he never mentions the incident with ritsu and considering mobs inclination of never telling anyone anything unless prompted#i doubt he knows... like reigen genuinely doesnt know the extent of mobs trauma!! when he said I Didnt Know he meant that shit!!!!!!#which is like. fine. cause to me whats important is how he always wants to protect mob and support him and help him#even if he doesnt always know how. even if advice backfires. hes always there and hes always trying and hes just as human and flawed as mob#himself#ig what im getting at is just that im bothered by the Flavour of reliable adult fandom is giving him. hes a lil pathetic and#fucks up sometimes and thats fiiiiiine. i feel like i talked shit about reigen but i do think hes a good guy and IS reliable just not in the#gives great advice way. but in the Knows How To Talk And Bullshit His Way Through Everything and Has Genuinely Good Intentions (usually)#and will throw away all of his self preservation if the situation requires him to. his advice is good but can be vague idk ONE rlly managed#to balance his pathetic side with his helpful reliable side and i dont think i articulated it the best way but like.... hes simultaneously#pathetic and sad but also the most sane and reliable adult in this show. rant over see u next time byeeee
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im just thinking abt like. sam (almost) never hits back. only under extreme duress. and i really can't imagine him lashing out at partners either, maybe yelling but never physical. and trying to understand why, like does he actually think he's better than dean by not punching? does he seek therapy at stanford? does he just think he deserves it and feels like he's at the bottom of the totem pole everywhere he goes?
literally makes me feel sick. idk i have a Thing for a teenage sam who is like totally opposed to violence (despite being forced on hunts and into sparring and training and loading guns all the time). there’s that throwaway joke about his idol being gandhi and there’s the fact that obviously sam doesnt Want any of this, this being Hunting and the constant violence that comes with, so i can just see this thing developing where for a brief period hes like sooo holier than thou about it i am better than you and dad cause i read books and i dont solve my problems by hitting things (which tbh he is so right about! <3) but obviously its just his way of coping with the violence that hes been entrenched in since he was six months old. and this is like literally just inside my head. but in my head its true. that was kind of unrelated actually but also not really
and so yeah i think. idk. violence is sooo normal to sam and dean. i think sam doesnt Want to hit back cause its counterproductive and unnecessary and he prefers to talk things through, like that’s just not how he deals with things, what use is hitting back going to do? like then they’d just get into a physical fight. which i dont think he wants. but also 100% even if not consciously i think sam believes he deserves it or at least that its Okay when it happens to him. he literally doesnt even question it. especially like… after s4. i think he tends to just accept deans treatment cause hes got this belief deep down that he’ll always deserve it, and also even if dean isn’t always right he always somehow ends up being right, and….. so awful.
also i do actually think sam went to therapy at stanford but thats just cause i find it fun to think about. like what did he say…. how do you even word the trauma of that upbringing. not sure if he actually took any valuable lessons from it or benefitted from it post short-term.
#thank u for the ask i love talking abt them#i feel like when they were younger sam would’ve hit back more maybe. and it wouldve ended up in actual physical fights/sparring#and i just think idk. sam is wordsy. he does prelaw. hes talkative about things he likes and he relishes explaining cases and hes more#comfortable in a verbal fight. despite his obvious physical strength. meanwhile dean runs out of words to say thatll make sam do what he#wants (slash words to say in general) and throws a punch.#but then its also that sam doesnt even really take an issue with it. from what we see in canon. he’s just like. okay. you satisfied? hit me#all you want it won’t change anything. he barely seems to register it its just part of Dean. which is SO fucked up. <3#he just!! accepts that this is what dean does if hes angry with sam or about sam or near sam. like.#spn#oliver talks#sam winchester#sam & dean#also anon who r youuu i love you#poison in the water
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reminder that if you're not watching Crayon Shin-chan then you are living a hollow and empty life. this is not edited. this ripped straight from the movie (Movie 8: Jungle That Invites the Storm, highly recommend for fellow Masaaki Yuasa lovers)
if you need further convincing: these monkeys run an animation sweatshop
#i've made this disclaimer on another post but will again since i've seen a lot more of the movies now#the movies are VERY good and very enjoyable but unfortunately the first handful are bogged down by transphobic/homophobic/okama stereotypes#they kind of vary in their severity. Movie 5 i think is the biggest catalyst because it features the stereotyped characters the most#prominently. Movie 3 doesnt really have caricatures per se but saves a very backhanded reveal for the end#Movies 1 and 4 are a bit more tolerable if my memory is correct. Movie 2 i think is kind of comparable to Movie 5 with its caricatures#in that the characters have similar roles in both movies#i admittedly can't remember what caricatures there were in Movie 6 or 7. 7 i think barely had anything#RAMBLE RAMBLE BASICALLY: these jokes are within the first 7 movies or so 5 being the zenith then reducing down and down. by movie 8 it's sa#e#i give these disclaimers because these movies are all very enjoyable and i would not recommend them if i didnt think there wasnt any merit#o them. they are all very much worth watching. Movie 5 still has a lot of very enjoyable stuff in it (there's a showdown in a supermarket!!#but i just want to make sure that is clear and established since transparency is good to have and i dont want anyone's viewing experience t#be ruined because they weren't given the proper warning#if it's any consolation it's my understanding that even the directors hated doing the jokes#iirc Keiichi Hara really didn't like doing the jokes and i think had a talk with the mangaka Yoshito Usui and was like 'uh dude this is#gonna age horribly can we maybe not'#ironically Hara's first film is Movie 5. which is again the biggest offender#BUT! that is my spiel. my understanding is that it's contained to those 6 or 7 first movies and i think is strictly just a movie thing#so please do give these films a watch but just be mindful at the same time#if anyone needs recommendations my favorites have been movies 4 and 9 but i genuinely really enjoyed every one that i have seen#i've seen the first 11 and a half movies (need to finish 12) and movie 22. the worst i've felt about one is 'oh that was pretty good!'#each film has its own merit and is very very very much worth watching#22 was the first Shin-chan anything i watched and all my Shin-chan expert friends say 4 is a good introductory piece#in case that influences anything/makes it easier to break in#so. thus concludes my spiel#csc#vid
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The older I get, the more I realize I am attracted to the same archetype in fictional intrapersonal relationships, and therefore all of my ships across all fandoms are the same characters in different fonts.
#which is to say my ship taste essentially boils down to rainclouds x sunshine#regardless of fandom or ship#this has been the case since i first entered shipping fandom in middle school#from my earliest HP ships thru my present gunsmoke era#a stoic character known for their resilience meets someone who doesnt make them be so resilient anymore#i find another media with two characters in this rough description#and i ship them#it is very simple science
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for others who disliked adams greywaren ending, what do you think about the part of his ending with transferring schools?
Personally, i can see arguments for transferring (in terms of adam not having his fantasized perfectly linear path to success), but i want to see him stay and deal with his lies and mistakes. ik that sounds mean, but i intend it in the kindest way possible. like it could be helpful for him to distance himself from the person he invented at harvard and try again, but i want him to contend with that and reconcile his invention with the person he really is; i don’t think they are mutually exclusive!
maybe this comes down to your opinion of his crying club- whether you think theyre really his friends or not- but to me, i don’t think this effort to build community was wrong, even though it was unhealthy that he had to lie about his background to do it. i think adam needs to think about why he had this drive to create a friend group and why he felt like he couldn’t be the same person he was in henrietta. i want him to feel like he can be honest with the crying club, or at least that he can his genuine self with people outside the gangsey. he doesnt have to suddenly dump the whole truth on them, but i wish he could slowly let himself trust them, as they have trusted him with their troubles.
Obviously it was important for him and his character arc to leave henrietta and for him to want to leave behind the person he was there (and the fact that everyone there knew he was poor and a victim of abuse), but i’d like to see adam stay in place somewhere and work through who he is there. I feel like if he leaves and starts somewhere new, he’ll still have that instinct to leave behind this old version of adam and reinvent himself.
what do you all think? i know we all hate the adam becomes a fed thing, but wasnt sure what opinion is on this part
#i think people see a lot of themselves in adam#ive seen people HATE that he goes to harvard and advocate for him to fully drop out#which at least in one case has related to poster not following traditional academic success#me on the other hand- i also really dreamed of going far far away for college and experiencing academic and personal success there#so i resonanted with adams dream of leaving henrietta for prestigious school#anyway. the scene that lives in my head goes like this#adam gathers the crying club to tell them hes tranferring#he says ‘i have to tell you all something.’#he opens his mouth to explain hes transferring and for some reason instead what he says is#‘im a psychic’ . theyre all like??#and suddenly he has to explain this statement. and kinda explain that he lied about breaking up w ronan#he doesnt tell them about abuse right away. but slowly truths start to come out and the lies slow down#and slowly realizes that once again he has friends that love him for being adam. not some phony perfect version of himself.
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saiki is such a fucking loser when it comes to romance (and also in general shh) that no matter who it is hes trying to date, he ALWAYS waits for THEM to confess. he will NEVER be the one to confess first..
i dont think he even CONSIDERS the fact that he could confess first, even though he can read their mind and knows exactly how they feel about him.. he waits and waits for a confession and when he doesnt get it, he gets really frustrated and is like 'i guess they just arent serious about me 😒🙄' BRO YOU HAVENT CONFESSED EITHER ?? YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITIES TO DO IT TOO WHY ARE YOU A HYPOCRITE ??
#my agenda that kusuo is just a bratty girlfriend#kusuo with an UNREQUITED crush is just satousai like i dont even have to say it#he never thought of confessing to satou cuz he knew it wasnt requited so he didnt really think it mattered#which is also funny and related to this because he just never wants to be the one to pursue someone lmfao#'ugh when is he going to notice me' -guy preparing for his first queer heartbreak#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post#kubosai#<- i think kuboyasu almost always confesses anyway so kusuo doesnt need to worry about this for long#but theyre both pathetic hopeless losers so theres a chance kusuo could get frustrated listening to him pine after him#thats a rare case that could happen with anyone tbh where kusuo MIGHT confess. or avoid them like the passive aggressive tsundere he is.#terusai#<- this one he also gets very very frustrated!! because koko is kinda the same way he is..#she also expects to be confessed to and he hears her think that and is sooo annoyed because absolutely NOT#haisai#<- i think if hairo realized he had a crush he would immediately confess BUT he and kusuo are aroace kings lmfao#so i think that both of them r kinda oblivious and hairo simply wouldnt realize it was a crush#stg one of their friends would have to step in and be like 'u guys r practically dating can u just kiss or something damn..'#merasai#<- ALSO BOTH AROACE AND WOULD BASICALLY BE DATING WAY BEFORE MERA EVEN KNEW SHE LIKED HIM#saikai#<- kusuo is on a MISSION with this one omg. he does everything in his power to make his feelings known without being TOO obvious#so that KAIDO will confess.. but kaido just gets awkward about it for a while.. kusuo does not realize what hes doing is called flirting..#saikechi#<- idk i feel like this would be complicated.. akechi wouldnt want to confess cuz he would b like well i know he knows..#and he would probably mention casually wheile hes talking and not expect kusuo to respond#so like.. he just wouldnt think kusuo likes him because kusuo never acknowledges it but its only cuz akechi hasnt really CONFESSED
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smth kinda fucked up about watching doumeki go from whole assedly making life or death decisions for watanuki as a desperate but firm love language every other tuesday to fucking sitting in quiet anguish with a pained look on his face with his eyebrows fucking tweaking out, still able to make life or death protective decisions sometimes but being fucking paralysed with indecision most times that don't involve immediate physical actions to the point it's clearly ripping his head and heart in two even if he still retains that refusal to give up
#seeing love grant him the strength to make drastic actions but also to freeze him in a stasis that actively hurts every bone in his body is#iDKKKK IDK IDK IDK#my complicated thoughts abt rou strike again#i rly like the intricacies to which stuff stays the same and stuff plunges into tragic monotony and hurt#although some things about the ending/continuation are pure ass and clamp being dumb for no reason#the real complicated part is that i mostly love how well characterised and visceral the hurt of the angst is#but that i wish there was an inproving end point because of the love for the characters and moral of 70 percent of the story#you want these characters to go through it and then to come to happier places or reconvene somehow but#well#ive explained this conundrum 500 times before#but this is one of those specific cases where i have to say that the expression work in holic is so fucking singular#that even when they dont or barely speak you can fucking read everyones eyes like a book#its why i hesitate to call douwata subtext#it doesnt rly make sense cause the feelings involved are so obvious as they are with everything else in the series#the expression work is both rly good for understanding the story in a way that doesn't just focus on good art or speech bubbles#but also it means you can actively see a characters heart shatter into tiny sharp abrasive pieces in real time#it's beautiful and horrific and aaaa#when shit goes quiet and doumeki leaves the room and just breaks tf down and we basically see him all but fucking crying#god.
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idk if it means anything really, but i think it's interesting how after all their time together as a couple in a christianity-adjacent world, lucifer and lilith only had one (1) child, and it was only 200 years ago at that
#for a show based on a religion notorious for the expectation put on women to become mothers (especially at a young age)#(and in certain extreme cases the only real role of a woman being essentially that of a breeding tool/incubator)#it's a neat detail (though quite likely unintentional) that the Ultimate 1 Most Horrible Sinner Couple betrayed heaven's rules#then went on to have a long (happy? generally successful?) relationship without needing/rushing to have children#presumably satisfied with one another rather than feeling obligated to make themselves “useful”#I feel it really highlights exactly the sort of differences that came of lilith choosing lucifer over adam#like no wonder amirite.#freedom for lilith was as small and inherent a thing as bodily autonomy (👀); as getting to have a relationship where she can be loved for#who she is instead of what services she can provide#the show obviously mentions this a lot in other ways but to me a main example of this is the childlessness in their marriage#again idk if it means much but i haven't seen this talked about much i know this specifically is not talked about in the show either#but it's a pretty obvious deviation from what christianity teaches women and what lilith would have especially known to be her role at the#beginning of humanity where they needed to do a lot of ~populating~#even nowadays the expectation for women to become wifes and be subservient to their husbands & the role of sex being purely reproductive#all that time but only 1 kid & so late too just goes to show how absent those roles + rules + expectations were once lilith rejected adam#(and therefore heaven)#which. the detail itself can be interpreted in different ways as can the reaction to this particular interpretation. but personally i'm just#happy for her that she (perhaps/presumably/temporarily) got to experience a loving relationship based on mutual respect and equality etc.#so like good for her#this doesnt really have a point i just thought it was a cool detail#rant post#shitpost#kind of#hazbin hotel#lucilith#i am not trying to generalize christianity itself here btw#and when i say extreme cases i do mean *extreme* as i know it's not reflective of the religion as a whole or it's principles#but in the hellaverse specifically it does seem like those teachings and mentalities and heavily unequal gender roles *were* meant to exist#so the specific lack of their fulfillment with lucilith seems important
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im watching this video (although im unlikely to finish it bc i just really disagree) about a study that seems to suggest trigger warnings Don't Work, and in this psych's own words are somewhat inimical to getting better because, like, exposure helps and you can't have the choice to avoid your triggers in the real world and blah blah blah
and i think that one of the issues here that i'm shocked doesn't really get brought up is that all triggers for all conditions are not made equal. you would think this is an easy concept but no.
like, some triggers are like, yeah. you actually cannot avoid this thing and trying to is just going to cause more problems in your life, even if it's painful to be exposed to it at first. stuff like really common names or particular common articles of clothing or whatever. you unfortunately have to deal, eventually, because these sorts of things are difficult to warn for and nearly ubiquitous. i've had these kinds of triggers before.
others are like. when the fuck am i going to encounter this aside from in fiction or maybe on the news? like, i have a choking trigger bc i was choked once. what fucking universe do you think i live in where i need to be prepared to see choking at all times because it's unavoidable? do people strangle each other to death every time you go to the grocery store???? what the fuck? the only time i ever see this shit is on tv or in erotica, in which case it is kind of on me that i chose to watch star wars or read a bodice ripper and stepping away does me no real harm or major inconvenience. what real life situation would possibly necessitate i not be warned for that short of getting violently attacked again? huh???
so like, i understand the attitude being "you shouldn't practice avoidance of men with brown hair" but don't understand the attitude being "you shouldn't practice avoidance of graphic violent imagery." why on earth do i need to see the second thing for any reason. what the fuck do you think happens out of doors
#like you genuinely do get to choose whether you engage with certain things#why would avoidance be bad if you have no legitimate need or reason to engage with a certain thing#thats not to say that one shouldnt ever work on those things either. frankly i am working on it bc i like edgy media too much lol#it's more i guess like. why do you think i shouldn't have the choice to see that or not?#it is not necessary to see. i very much do have a choice#people without that trigger also have the exact same choice#so why is it that when i make it suddenly the argument is THE REAL WORLD DOESNT LET YOU CHOOSE#like...it does? i do get to choose actually. unless as i said im being attacked again in which case i have bigger issues
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