#(and therefore heaven)

[eveningdawn222]

people who act like batman isn't "judge jury and executioner" because he doesn't kill people are like. genuinely so funny to me because. they're very obviously thinking of "executioner" as like. the stereotypical guy with axe who chops people heads off, and not, yknow, the literal definition of the idiom itself, which is about someone who has the ability to judge and then subsequently punish someone unilaterally. which is quite literally what batman does.

he has the ability to decide what is a "crime" to him, he is the one who decides whether people are guilty of those crimes, and he is the one who executes their punishment. the severity of the punishment doesn't matter - he is unaccountable to anyone else, and indeed is allowed to commit as many crimes as needed to reach his arbitrary ideal of "justice."

the ideal of batman is this: a man who is so fundamentally changed by an act of senseless violence that he takes it upon himself to fight back against the rot and corruption in the world. he does this not through political activism, not through ridding himself of his wealth in favor of a greater good, not through community outreach, but through an individualistic fantasy of being a hero.

and you'll say: charlie, but he does do that !!! he donates his money all the time, he funds social programs, hospitals, orphanages, gets people jobs -

and i will say this: so why don't things get better?

because here's the base of it. gotham, at its core, can't get better. no matter what bruce wayne does, there will always be more crime, more villains, more death, more people for batman to beat up in back alleys. because that's what sells.

reoffending rates don't matter in gotham, prison reform doesn't matter in gotham, what actually causes crime doesn't matter in gotham because that doesn't sell books.

and so here it is; dc has unintentionally created a world where batman can't win, but can't be wrong, and where thousands of nameless, faceless, only-created-to-die civilians must be pushed into the meat grinder that is gotham, to fuel bruce wayne's angst and vindicate his constant, tireless, noble fight against the forces of evil.

and then: a new robin, who is poor and who's parents are dead or gone because of this cycle; who is happy go-lucky and hated by editors and fans for being robin, for not being dick grayson, for being poor.

and this robin is written, unintentionally or not, to be angry at the ways in which batman's (the narrative's) idea of justice is detached from its victims. bruce seems perfectly fine to allow countless unnamed women to be at risk from garzonas in his home country, yet robin is the one who is portrayed as irrational and violent.

this robin is not detached from gotham in the way bruce wayne is: this robin is a product of gotham.

(and here's the thing. you can't punch aids. you can't fight a disease with colorful fights and nifty gadgets. and how would robin dying from aids add to batman's story; it would call into question the systemic changes that haven't been made in gotham. how does a child get aids, in batman's city?)

so robin dies, and then bruce (the narrative) spends the next couple of decades blaming it on him. it is jason's fault; he was reckless, he just ran in, he thought it was all a game. if only bruce had seen what was coming, if only he could have known that jason wasn't rich enough or smart enough or liked enough to be robin.

batman gets a little more violent, a little more self destructive. he hurts people more and almost (!!) kills a couple guys. this is bad because it's self destructive and "not who he is." it is not bad because batman should not be able to just beat people up when he's angry.

and then he gets a shiny new robin - who is all the things jason "wasn't": rich and smart and rational and he doesn't put who batman is into question. batman and robin are partners, and jason is a grave and a cautionary tale, and (crucially here) never right.

the joker kills thousands and it doesn't matter because they were written to be killed.

batman beats up thousands and it doesn't matter because they were written to be criminals.

and then jason comes back, and nothing has changed. there is a batman and a (shiny! rich!) robin and the joker kills thousands. (because it sells)

and jason is angry - he has been left unavenged - his death has meant nothing, just as willis' had, just as catherine's had, just as gloria's had, just as -

thousands. ten of thousands. hundreds of thousands. written to be killed.

but one of them gets to come back.

and he is angry - not only at the joker, but at bruce (the narrative) - because why is the joker still alive (when thousands-)

here is the thing - jason todd is right. not because the death penalty is good, not because criminals deserve to die, not because of everything he says -

but because of what he calls into question. why is the joker alive?

because he sells books.

and dc has written a masterful character, through no fault of their own, because jason knows what is wrong, and he knows who is at fault - batman. (the narrative)

so the argument that bruce can't kill because he's not judge jury and executioner; the argument that jason is a cop or that jason is insane or that jason is in the wrong here; they hold no weight.

batman can't kill the joker because the joker sells comic books.

and jason can't kill the joker because the joker sells comic books.

so he will beg and plead and grovel - he will betray everything that is himself, he will forsake his family and his city and kill himself - just so that bruce (the narrative) will let the joker die.

he was condemned to death by an audience, and after he came back he has spent his whole life looking us in the eyes and screaming, asking, pleading; why is the joker still alive?

why are thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands (the number doesn't matter, see, because they're just a number. not people. not real.) why are we expendable for his story? why did i have to die just for nothing to change?

and the answer is money. and the answer is the batman can never be wrong. and the answer is shitty writing. and the answer is -

nothing jason can ever change.

which is the worst of it all. he is a victim with no power, and no one else in the world can see it. he is raging and crying and screaming at his father and his writers and you - and it doesn't matter. jason doesn't matter. and he knows it.

[budd-ie]

I like to imagine Xie Lian checking in on heaven every once in a while for business or something and now that heaven barely has a central government and people are more relaxed without any one scary force up their asses all the time he sometimes comes back to some pretty weird stuff. After all, every god is a nosy drama queen and everything has the potential for a competition. Imagine if one day some smaller martial gods got bored and started an arm wrestling contest and whoever won started bragging about it which caused some other martial gods to want a piece of the action. Because every martial god is overly competitive by nature, this eventually gets weirdly out of hand and now the top martial gods are having the most legendary arm wrestling tournament in history. Xie Lian walks in in the middle of it, bewildered; “Oh, no thank you, I couldn’t possibly, I should be quick, San lang is waiting for me—“ he answers but a simple “come on, your highness!” and a recap of the latest events is all it takes to convince a top martial god to give it a shot.

Across the room, Feng Xin just obliterated another round and is on a crazy hot streak. His spirits are high and he’s ready for his next victim as he looks across the table, and the opponent in his view is none other than Xie Lian.

A cold sweat runs down his back.

Of course it ends with Xie Lian vs Pei Ming, the grandest showdown they’ve seen in a great while, and Xie Lian going home that night to that San Lang of his with another weird heavenly trophy to put in the display case they had to make for all these weird prizes he keeps bringing home from work. Who knew gods really are more idle than ghost kings!

[solomiracle]

really sucks that like... the only beel scenes that aren't about food in nb s3 are about the celestial realm. the man's been starved of development, even just decent characterization, for years, and writers decide the new direction for him should be... to like the celestial realm??? the place that killed his sister and caused his survivor's guilt? i know the narrative can only work if the celestial realm is portrayed in a good light, but this was one of the worst ways to try that.

[miss-mossball]

Daylight Prairie kids

[squorttle-pox]

idk if it means anything really, but i think it's interesting how after all their time together as a couple in a christianity-adjacent world, lucifer and lilith only had one (1) child, and it was only 200 years ago at that

[gxlden-angels]

Doomsday Cult Christians when the Doomsday Cult ideology causes Doomsday anxiety in their kids:

[liusia-piu]

[i-bring-crack]

Some Lucifer and Michael headcanons (they won't stop running around in my head)

Lucifer likes the rain and snowstorms, he likes to bathe in them as well no matter if its for only a few moments or a brisk.

Michael likes to clean old church ruins, he renovates the with the help of animals or lost wanderers at times. Sometimes the lost wanderer seems to be the same person but he isnt fulky sure if thats possible.

Lucifer keeps a great track of time, mostly because it is limited to him. Michael on the other hand has spent too many times doing things at a slow pace, he once started at the sky for 100 years becuase and thought it had only been a few minutes.

Lucifer is picky about his food, only preffering to eat that which mildly tastes like manna, or just drinking water and milk for ages upon ages. Michael doesnt eat anything as he doesnt need it, however when he is invited to a guest's house he can eat anything on the menu. His favorite meals so far were those of Ruth, Sarah, and Benjamin.

It takes a long time for the angels to braid all the hair of Michael, so he mostly leaves the braids on for a long time before untangling them and bathing them when he gets the chance. That too, takes very long.

Lucifer doesnt care much about his appearance, he just looks naturally beautiful all the time which is what makes others think he spends so much time taking care of it

Michael feeds the sirens (former past wives of the nephilim) every 200 years or so. He's long since tried to save them and turn their bodies back to their original forms, however since they were human, he feels a bit pitiful for their situation. Gabriel comes by once in a while as well, just to retrieve Michael from staying wjth them for too long.

Michael was great singer, but his voice cracked during the first war so he decided to become a warrior angel instead.

Lucifers favorite flowers are red spider lilies and red roses.

In their younger day Michael often watched Lucife fight and made song ballads for him every time he won.

Michael's voice is the sweetest thing to Lucifer, he is practically obessed with hearing its tones over and over again even when hes not here.

Lucifer likes the feeling of the warm cooper and topaz on his skin.

Pre war era Michael often gifted Lucifer with many trinkets, among them being exotic jewels and normal rocks, Lucifer didnt seperate any of them and wears them all, its just that not many notice the less refined rocks around his jewels.

Lucifer likes to wander around the coral reefs, reminding him of Heaven in its peacefulness, and its the only place he can watch Michael whenever there is a storm.

Lucifer preffers to greet Michael with a secret hug and i dulge in the warmth, even when the other is wearing a lot of armor.

[dangerous-advantage]

headcanon that all of hua cheng's statues are taller than the actual xie lian bc before they reunited, xie lian was always taller than hua cheng

[grntaire]

aziraphale really fell in love with crowley on ground that was once consecrated, but through the act of something falling from demonic intervention, was rendered neutral.

[shoechoe]

Thinking about Diavolo's mannerisms in Eyes of Heaven again... I assume they were going for a "tough gangster" vibe hence why he does shit like slamming his feet on the table at the cafe

[budd-ie]

“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when

[quietwingsinthesky]

another fact about millie: worst hostage in the entire world because she is insufferable about it. the minute she knows you Need her for something, she is going to start pushing what she’s allowed to do and say. girl who thrives with a gun to her head because she knows you need her alive and can’t pull the trigger.

[gay-caesar-truther]

I'm honestly not surprised that Brutus and Gabriel are my two favourite fallout ocs.

The both have that miserable swag and a deep desire to be needed.

Brutus is helpful and subservient becuase he doesn't know what else to be. He desperately wants to be valued and loved by people and the only way he can earn that is by constantly bending over backwards for other people. He wants to make himself so needed and so useful they can't possibly throw him away. He loves when people ask things of him becuase that's a sign they want him around- even if it's only for what he can give to them and not necessarily him as a person. Not that Brutus can tell the difference.

where as Gabe still makes himself useful but actively hates people for asking things of him. Especially since leaving the Capital Wasteland he's got a very "haven't I given enough?" mentality. He won't refuse to help people in need, but he's so so angry that people keep asking things of him. He just wants to sit down and rot. He doesn't WANT to help anyone anymore, but he has to becuase its the right thing to do. It's what his father would've wanted, its what a Good Sinless man would do.

[wigglebox]

i stg if this prequel confirms that dean is in fact not in heave and is in the empty or some other kind of limbo space i’m going to scream bc it’s probably the only time in my entire life that manifesting something for years will pay off for me and the others who speculated since the finale aired that he was not in heaven at all and the story wasn’t over. 

[walterdecourceys]

IF we are accepting the christian premise that man is separated from other living beings by a conscious knowledge and awareness of god do animals still have an unconscious understanding of the divine. like they can't comprehend complex abstract ideas like an omnipotent creator but like if a dog were to happen across jesus would it have a Sense that he's the lord of all things or would they not give a fuck. this is such a stupid question sorry