#honestly this is more of the norm than the exception. which is also why i think the drama is so tiring

[chromatoghosts]

man i remember when nevermore first came out i was sad it was so underrated.. but now after all the drama, i wish it had stayed underrated, because a big fanbase (especially one with a lot of minors) ALWAYS brings drama

[renonm]

Hiya! Can I request for romantic hcs for carpaccio? fem gender is preferred but its fine if u want to make it gneutral ✨ your hcs is amazing btw, looking forward for your next writing!

CARPACCIO LUO-YANG ROMANTIC HEADCANONS

A/N: thank you nonnie cutie for requesting this:3

NOTE: f!reader(i dunno… tbh… hope you guys would eat this up though)

• Linking Carpaccio with anything romance related may had felt odd for you honestly, he looks scary, acts scary, and IS scary.

• Carpaccio thought so too, he was never the romantic guy. But somehow in this VERY SLIM CHANCE, he got attracted to you. Why you out of all people.

• Man has no game! So he’s very inexperienced with this type of emotion, love, or admiration.

• He’ll try his best to do something about this, he swears. Maybe…

• Carpaccio will keep this “feelings” hidden, as it may sound too unlikely and bizarre for him to have and to share to other people.(what other people?)

• Though what can be used as evidence that he has a keen interest in you, is that he stares at you. Blankly looking at you with his stiff expression.(hey, he’s still cute!)

• At first, you’d be scared, why would the one who was chosen by the healing cane stare at you?? ARE YOU HIS NEXT VICTIM??

• Next day after that he will literally talk to you, walking behind you while he grabs your shoulder, saying “hi,” and just that. You say hi back.

• That just goes on for a while, simple greetings whenever you guys coincidently meet up. It eventually becomes the norm.

• Oh what's this?? YOU GAINED FEELINGS FOR SOME MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE HE HAS THE INTENTIONS TO MURDER SOMEONE???

• Yeah. Realization strikes sometimes. Cool… Just slide it off till it fades away.

• But no! Carpaccio is slowly talking to you more, dumping about his day or about his abilities. Kinda cute for doing that.

• You guys lend each other a hand, usually it’s just you asking him for help, he doesn’t mind, really.

• Sometimes, Carpaccio gets too excited about this and forgets to eat, or even to sleep… Which you constantly nag about.

• “Carpaccio. You look tired, have you been staying up?” as his friend(totallynotsoontobelover), showing concern is a must. “Yeah, was busy observing something.”

• “Observing what?” “Nothing.”

• Ah sure, sureee… Then turns out he was observing and researching about love and emotions.

• There was something that he liked about you the most: literally everything. You were nice, easy to taunt, and caring. What more can a friend ask for?

• Ohohoho, when he confesses he will be the stiffest man alive. “I like you, more than as a friend.” while holding his dagger in his pocket, just in case he ever needs to stab himself, even if he can’t feel pain.

• Was flabbergasted that you liked him back, “I knew it.” “No.”

• After that, things remained the same, except he got more protective of you and more vocal about his love…

• And of course, less blunt with his words, Carpaccio must use his efforts on researching about love wisely!

• “Don’t let other guys flirt with you because you’re mine, or else.”

• Lets you lean on his shoulder, even sometimes forcefully if you wear next to him.

• Likes to have quick and private kisses, hug him from behind and he’d remain a subtle countenance, but is inside smiling out of joy.

• Also teases you back if he wants to, Carpaccio loves your expressions,

• In fact, he loves everything about you.

• “You’re mine.” “And I’m yours.”

[final-bae-stination]

This Is What Forever Looks Like (Lo'ak)

Not requested.

Scenario: Lo'ak confesses his love to a human girl.

Pairing: Lo'ak X Fem! Reader.

Fem Reader Description: Red Hair, Pale Skin, green eyes, and freckles.

Third Person POV

She was human, he was Na'vi. They were from different worlds, but that didn't stop them. He grew up with her, and she grew up with his family. She was the unofficial Sully kid, like Spider, except she was more...loved, as we'd say, because unlike Spider, she wasn't the enemy's kid (meaning Spider). She was used to being surrounded by more blue people than her own color, more used to being around aliens than her own species, and she even started acting like a Sully: her and Kiri were the sassy girls, she'd play stupid games and actually have fun with Tuk, and she loved starting trouble with Lo'ak, often laughing when Neteyam scolded them but feeling bad if he got in trouble for her and Lo'ak. But over time, that started changing for Lo'ak, and that scared him. He didn't know what this was, but from looking at his parents, he had an idea. And again, that scared him. You were everything to him, having always been there. He was scared to approach you with this. What if you didn't feel the same as him? What if he made things weird between you two? Everyone started noticing, from Norm and Max to his own parents and older brother. He'd smile more, was less inclined for trouble when you were with him, not wanting you hurt. He'd blush, and because the family was a dark blue, it would appear as a bright purple, which was....obvious, to say the least. Every time you laughed or smiled, that purple dusted his cheeks. He'd glance away when he saw you looking, and the blush would deepen. Kiri started teasing him relentlessly about it, but Neteyam and his parents were more subtle. One day, Neytiri was cooking dinner and she glanced out of her eye, the infamous side-eye Neteyam had inherited, and glanced at Lo'ak. He was sitting in the corner, drawing something on a sketchpad. He'd asked Norm for it, though the family couldn't understand why, and he never said anything or showed them what was in it. Tuk had snuck a glance once, but all she could say she saw was a lot of cream colors and lots of red. That clued in Neteyam, at least: Lo'ak was drawing you.

And he was. It was almost eclipse, and you were sitting in front of the lab. Dr. Max and Norm lived there, as did you, and if you weren't in the jungle, you were in your room, either watching 80's and late 90's movies or listening to music. Right now, you were looking up at the huge figure of Polyphemus, waiting for eclipse (A/N: Polyphemus has no rings and has fourteen moons, the most notable being Pandora). The slight breeze made her hair flutter, tickling her shoulders. About five feet behind her, Lo'ak's heart squeezed. He gripped the sketchpad tightly, the metal swirling binding making his hands sting. "Hey, um...Y/N?" He asked. You turned, your green eyes bright. "Lo'ak!" You crowed, seemingly happy to see him. He smiled shyly, sitting next to you, his tail tip flicking nervously, ears twitching. "I...wanna show you something," He said softly, and his voice deepened, making your stomach flutter with butterflies. "Sure," You said quickly, and he took a deep breath, flipping the pad around. It was you, drawn in pastels. You gasped, eyes widening. He'd perfectly captured your often-dreamy gaze, and your hair rolled over your shoulders like red water. "Lo..." You whisper, taking the pad. "It's beautiful," You whisper, green eyes catching gold. "So are you," He whispered, unable to look away. Your heart stopped, then began to pound. "Lo'ak..." You whispered, scooting closer. He blinked slowly, licking his lips nervously, and your eyes followed the movement before you leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn't like you thought it would be. You thought, honestly, that it'd be a little sweet, nothing more. It was sweet, but also filled with so much love you were surprised you didn't explode. His hands cupped your face, huge against your human face, and kissed you slowly, achingly sweet, and the world slipped away and it was just you both.

"YES!" You heard Kiri scream and you both split, breathing hard, eyes wide.

Kiri cringed. "Sorry," She said, and you giggled, then started laughing. Lo'ak chuckled, shaking his head, pulling you closer. Kiri, seeing this, smirked and went back inside. "I've loved you for a really long time," Lo'ak whispered, nose touching yours. "Yeah, I could say the same," You giggled. "Why didn't you...ever tell me?" You asked him gently, your legs hooked around his waist as you sat in his lap. He shrugged, playing with the ends of your fiery hair. "I was scared," He admitted. "I didn't...realize, I guess, that I felt that way until I started noticing my mom and Dad, how they acted, and...I realized I wanted that. With you. But...I kept thinking, like, what if she doesn't feel the same, or something like that." He sighed. Your finger, tiny compared to his, lifted his chin. His gold eyes flicked to yours as you whispered, "I will never not choose you, Lo'ak. In any life, here or in the future, I'll choose you." You whispered, and kissed him again. "I love you. I See you," You whisper. You felt him shiver a little as he whispered hoarsely, "I See You."

The gas giant Polyphemus rose, eclipse setting over Pandora, as you two stayed like that, wrapped in each other and the words I See You hovering like stars.

[your-regular-toast-enjoyer]

Damian Wayne x League of assassins reader

Damian Wayne x reader or Damian Wayne/reader

Word count: 3468 words

TW: GN reader, Damian might be a TW himself, angst, mentions of kidnapping, nothing super bad really, kinda fluffy at the end.

You and him probably met as kids. I imagine that you might have been kidnapped by the league as a part of a mission to indoctrinate randomly selected children from around the world into the League of Assassins. It might have been a mission orchestrated by Ra’s to get a wider selection of soldiers under him. He would like to ideally always have the perfect person at hand for any type of mission. That means at least one soldier from every single country in the world… there are only 195 after all, less than a fraction of his total army of assassins, so it was an easy goal to complete.

I can imagine that you must have stood out to either Ra’s or Talia. Perhaps you were much stronger than the other kids? Perhaps you were smarter? Perhaps you were more dedicated to Ra’s cause than the rest? The reason honestly doesn’t matter. What matters is that you were better in some significant regard and, as such, gained the role of Talia’s protégé… Right alongside Damian.

As Talia’s trainee, you will be pushed to your limit. There will be times when you’ll seriously doubt whether or not you’ll survive whatever mission she has set out for you. Being scared for your life will become the norm and you’ll under no circumstances show your fear. As the years go on, Talia will be more caring towards you in her own twisted way. She’ll remember your birthday and give you her own homemade cream-filled Harissa or a small plate of Atayek as a gift, but she will never hug you or be unduly doting on you. You will doubt her care towards you every day, but when you see how she treats the other assassins, (especially the other children who you were kidnapped alongside), you’ll realise that she’s exceptionally gentle towards you, in comparison. Still, it doesn’t mean that she’ll show you any mercy in training, which, in a way, could also be considered a show of affection, because if you ever slip up, even the slightest bit, there’s a good chance that you won’t survive it.

This is the environment in which you grow up. It’s harsh and you often consider if death is a better alternative. You might have given in if it wasn’t for the boy who trained right alongside you… Damian. 

At first, Damian will remain sceptical of you. You were just thrown in alongside him during training one day and now you’re both training under his mother… Something seems off about the whole situation in Damian’s mind.

Damian might actually be jealous of you in the beginning. Who are you?! And why are you taking his mother’s attention away from him? Why did she just pet you on the head and not him?! That’s so unfair! She’s his mother! Not yours!

Damian might actually try to kill you in your sleep once or twice, which you manage to escape… He isn’t the first who’s jealous of your role. The other kidnapped kids whisper your name along the words “Traitor” and “Boot licker”. 

After a while, Damian’s jealousy dims. In its place, a sense of camaraderie slowly crawls in and inhabits. By your second year as Talia’s pupil, Damian will start to acknowledge you as more than just his training partner… You’re his first friend. The word is foreign to him. Friends aren’t a thing in the league of assassins… at least not openly, but it’s hard to describe you as anything except for his friend.

You’re probably the person he cares the most about, right after his mother. He’ll let you sleep in his huge silk-covered bed, right next to him. That way you can for once have a nice sleep without worrying about one of your fellow kidnap victims coming for your throat at night. Besides that, (whether or not you like the feeling of silk), you can’t deny that his large and soft bed is much more comfortable than the standard issue linen cot you’ve been provided with. Damian's bed is also residing within a large room that the two of you have all to yourself, not a piece of fabric hung alongside hundreds of others in a room smaller than that of the Al Ghul heir.

Damian likes having you next to him at night as well. Not only does he feel like he can better protect you, but it also helps with the nightmares that he’s been having since he was five. It helps to have someone that he trusts next to him.

As you grow even closer, you might seek each other out to deal with your dreadfully touch-starved selves. You might end up having a tradition of hugging each other for at least ten minutes every day before you’re called down for your morning meal.

Talia will certainly be aware of you and Damian’s growing relationship, but she decides to allow it. As stated before, she does care about both of you, and she can’t bring herself to separate you two. She’ll even keep the growing friendship a secret from her father. Ra’s wouldn’t approve of his grandson fraternising with a common assassin, especially one that wasn’t born in 'Eth Alth'eban.

Damian and you will make promises to never leave the other’s side. You will be inseparable and a deadly duo. Even though you weren’t even ten yet, you fought as if you were a single organism and were pretty much unstoppable against anyone who came up against you. Ra’s was impressed by your combined skills and briefly considered making you Damian’s future right hand. 

I can see Damian and you doing something stupid like attempting to form a blood oath by cutting up each of your palms so that a long thin line of blood peeps out, and then immediately press your hands tightly together. Damian swears that he’ll keep you by his side forever and you swear that you’d rather die than have your loyalty to him waver.

When Damian turns ten, the league is attacked, and Ra’s is either killed or mortally wounded, incapable of continuing to lead. Damian is forced to go to Gotham and reside with his father. He despises being removed from you, but he has no choice. It’s a decision made by his mother and he both respects and fears her too much to go against her direct orders. 

…Does anyone remember that uncomfortable boat scene from Son of Batman… Yeah, the one where Talia is flirting with Bruce while Damian is hiding behind a curtain less than five steps away… I can imagine that you’re standing next to the boy and you’re both sending each other disgusted looks.

When Talia reveals that Damian is Bruce’s son. Bruce might ask if he should take you as well. You’re around Damian’s age and he knows how the league treats children, he trained under the same trainer utilised by Ra’s Al Ghul, and he has surveillanced 'Eth Alth'eban multiple times. Talia refuses to give up her most trusted student though. She’s only giving Damian to Bruce to protect him. She needs you to be her right hand while she rebuilds the league. She only fully trusts you, no one else will do, despite you still being a child. 

Aiding in the process of reconstructing an organisation as large as the League is a lot of responsibility to be put on a child, but it ultimately helps you forget your sorrows of being away from the person you cared about the very most. Talia will work you hard, with no more than five minutes of downtime per day, for years. However, you get much closer to her, and she almost treats you like she used to treat Damian. (I can imagine that it’s her coping mechanism. It’s hard for her to be away from her son, so, she treats you like a kind of substitute child in his stead). Slowly, as you grow older, you’ll start to rise within the ranks of the newly rebuilt and much improved, (skill- and security-wise), League of Assassins. When you finally turn eighteen, you’ll have reached the rank of high general and the right hand of Talia, (who serves as the de facto leader until Damian returns).  

Damian, on the other hand, will sulk for weeks after being separated from you. If Bruce or anyone else mentions you, (by name or physical description), Damian will be at their throat. They don’t know you! They don’t know how you were the only friend he had! Everything has just been ripped from him! His mother, his grandfather, his home and, most importantly, his closest companion, you! His father could never begin to understand. This goes beyond just losing those you care about. It’s the uncertainty of whether he’ll ever see any of you again that tears him apart on the inside. He feels so alone in this foreign, and strange, new environment, where everyone seems to have forgotten the title and power he was born with. His entire world has crumbled in less than a week, and all he wants is for you to come so that you can give him one of those long hugs the two of you used to share in the mornings.

As Damian grows up, he won’t forget you like you were partially forced to do with him. However, he will attempt to distract himself from his yearning towards a nostalgia fuelled vision of his young childhood, with you being the main component. He’ll dive head first into his position as Robin, his friends at the Teen Titans, American high school life and so on. He’ll oftentimes think of what became of you, wonder whether or not, and deep down pray, you’re still alive. At the league, you never know which day might be your last, after all.

I imagine that Damian gets into a huge fight with his father, as he has countless times. However, this time it’s different. Damian killed again. Whether it was an accident or not doesn’t matter. We all know Batman’s golden rule of “No Killing”, and perhaps it was a high-profile rogue whose life Damian snuffed out… like the Joker? Scarecrow? Or maybe even Poison Ivy? Someone whose death would spread over the news like wildfire.

Whoever it was… It was dire enough for Bruce to remove Damian’s title as Robin, and suddenly the green-eyed boy’s world is crashing down again. He’s lost everything again. The image of your face, or at least what he imagines your face to look like now, pops into his head, and as a retaliation against his father’s iron rule, Damian flees back to the League. 

Talia is immediately made aware of this. She probably has an assassin trailing Damian at all times, just to make sure that he’s safe. When the mother hears of her son’s intentions of returning home, she’s overjoyed, even though she doesn’t show it outwardly. She sends for transport measures to get her son back to her in relative comfort, no son of hers will hitchhike across the globe. 

You’d probably be the first person Talia informs about Damian’s return. You can’t even remember his face, let alone have any idea of how he looks now, but you nonetheless share your mentor’s silent excitement. You still have that scar across your palm from that stupid blood oath you made as a kid. A permanent reminder of your loyalty to the Al Ghuls.

When Damian returns, you’re the one who greets him first. He’s been flown to the closest regular city near 'Eth Alth'eban, and you’ve been sent to guide him back to his old home, (in case he had forgotten the hours-long trip). 

When Damian sees you again, he’s baffled. You grew up to be so beautiful and enchanting. Your loyalty truly never wavered, he thinks. Still there to greet him after all those years.

Damian might unintentionally blush at the sight of you, which is very unlike him. But it’s so surreal to see you again, and he just wants to embrace you for days to make up for the lost time. His natural self-restraint stops him from ever pursuing such unrefined dreams, but that doesn’t change how his arms long to just wrap around your shoulders and see if you still smell like the strong incense they used to burn around the barracks within 'Eth Alth'eban.

But you seem colder than he remembers you. You’ve both grown to be different. You’re now much quieter and more reserved than when you were a child. You’re not rude in any way, just more distant... It scares him a little, did he lose you too? However, as he talks with you on the way back to the sacred city, you slowly start throwing out the regular sarcastic jabs/funny one-liners/whatever, that he remembers you for. It makes him hopeful that the two of you can return to what you had when you were ten. Wishful thinking? Definitely. But Damian has always been an ambitious man.

Once Damian is back with the league, he takes over the position of leader. You remain one of the highest-ranked generals, and you’re the one that Damian sees as his “get out of jail free” card. You work exceptionally well under any circumstances, a result of Talia’s thorough tutoring, no doubt, and he employs you in all the missions that no one else can complete. Damian is in awe of your skills, and he slowly develops what might be seen as a relatively passionate crush.

No one would ever know of his feelings if they didn’t understand him completely as his mother does. Talia spots the light blush on his nose and cheeks as you’re trying to explain some geographical advantage you might have over your enemies. She also notices how Damian will give you fewer dangerous missions to complete, or how he moved from his old childhood room to one that’s closer to yours. Yeah, Talia notices it all, and I believe this might be the only scenario where she approves of you fully. She tells Damian as much. He almost tries to deny the butterflies in his stomach but finds himself unable to let the words, “I harbour no such feelings for them”, leave his mouth.

Damian still has nightmares. They actually got much worse when he left 'Eth Alth'eban and started to live in Gotham. One night, he has a particularly gruesome one. Visions of his favourite brother, Grayson, dying. Of his grandfather’s death and his mother and you mourning so deeply it hurts to look at. He wakes up with a deafening deep and brass shout.

You’re quickly by his side, having recognised his voice as it rang out in the shared hall leading to both of your bedrooms. “You were yelling in your sleep, What’s wrong?” You inquire, concerned. He tries to brush it off, but you don’t budge. So, he explains his nightmare to you, apologising for appearing so pathetic. You don’t think he does and reassure him that he’s doing nothing wrong.

Maybe, in a fit of nostalgic yearning, Damian asks you if you want to stay for the night, like when you were little kids. And even though your current bed is almost as comfortable as his, (no longer are you chewed off with a flea-infested linen cot), you reluctantly accept. If you two were caught sharing a bed, it’d be scandalous. However, Damian is no longer just the grandson of the Demon’s Head. He is the Demon's Head. What he says, goes. And currently, he is saying that you can sleep next to him like in the good old days.

Neither of you has slept as peacefully as you do that night. You wake up before Damian, tangled in his arms and legs, and you’re rendered frozen. Damian’s green silk robes hang loose and you almost feel like you’re doing something wildly illegal by having him hold you so close to his chest.

When Damian wakes up not too long after, (no one is able to sleep late at the league), he doesn’t instantly let go of you as you expected he would. No. Damian starts to gently untangle the knots in your hair, (if you have any), and then lets his large calloused hand wipe over your cheek. You can still feel the scar on his palm from your old blood oath. It’s oddly comforting. 

You both lay down as long as you’re able to and then you must go back to your own room, undetected, to change and get ready.

The day goes by and nightfall arrives once more, and as you’re about to go to sleep in your own bed, you hear a knock on your door. It’s Damian. You instantly attempt to bow to show respect, but he stops you. “Come join me in bed.” It’s not necessarily a question, nor is it a direct command. It’s as if he already knew that you wouldn’t refuse and he was simply reminding you to come sleep next to him, as you’re supposed to.

This becomes a rather common tradition. The two of you sleeping next to each other. You mask it as you needing to better protect him from possible attacks at night, even though he’s a much lighter sleeper than you. It becomes common knowledge around the barracks that you two share a bed, but none mention a word, too busy with their own training.

Soon, Damian may spot that you like to spend whatever free time you have in the library, or that you look longingly after the stray cats sometimes found around 'Eth Alth'eban. In this case, he’ll gift you a large set of books/a little kitten which he has already named after himself, (you’ve got to remember who gave it to you). Whatever it is that he has noticed caught your eye, he’ll gift it to you.

Now, the Al Ghuls are quite traditional folk. So, Damian will court in the traditional way: 

He might gift you a bouquet of flowers native to the surrounding flora in and around  'Eth Alth'eban.

He’d definitely invite you to sit model for him as he paints your portrait, which will portray you in such a remarkable way that you can’t help but be at least a little flattered.

He might even get his fingers on an old gramophone and a vinyl album of an old song like “Put your head on my shoulder” or “Can’t take my eyes off of you”. Then, he gently guides you in a slow dance. It’s fine if you’re bad at dancing, as long as you keep close to him, he’ll make sure that you won’t step on his feet too much. He will make his feelings so clear to you that even if you’re the most oblivious person in the world, you won’t be in doubt that he adores you. While slow dancing he might lean in very close, your lips barely grazing each other as he sings along to the song playing in the background, his eyes focused on yours. When the song is finally about to end and you haven't pulled away, he’ll finally connect your lips.

(for Phone users) connect your lips

Damian is an intense guy. He is 100% or 0%, borderline obsessive love or none at all. The kiss will be confirmation of the two of you “dating”, I suppose. Al Ghuls don’t really do dating, though… So you will quickly have Damian on one knee, asking for your hand… even though he sounded like he was commanding you to elope immediately. “Marry me, y/n. Soon. I’ll give you all I have and own, if only you’ll give me your heart”.

He will marry you in all the ways that make sense. One wedding won’t be enough for him. Four weddings? Five weddings? Maybe more? Damian is on board. His brothers will all be invited, even Tim, as well as all of his previous friends, and yours, (if you’ve made any during the rebuilding of the League of Assassins). Bruce won't be welcome though, no matter how much his mother argues for his case.

If you prefer for your wedding to be small… I’m sorry, but there are certain League-traditions which Damian refuses to not obey. (He’s not particularly superstitious. However, the idea of the old wedding tales holding any validity scares him off not keeping with traditions).

Your married life will change very little in terms of his passion and your day-to-day conduct. If you’re willing and able to have children, Damian would adore them… But also be jealous of the amount of attention you give them.

If you’re either not willing or able to conceive children, Damian won’t force you. Actually… Damian might prefer to be child-free since he doesn’t want to share your love with anyone else… He’ll accept you caring for his mother deeply though, if that’s even the case, but that's about it.

Whether or not Damian makes up with his father doesn’t matter. He’ll forever stay with the League and you… After all, he promised you he’d keep you by his side forever.

In conclusion? LoA general reader and Damian make for a strangely fitting pair. Also, one of the few scenarios where Talia will actually support the relationship, Bruce though? Probably not. He’ll likely think that you’ve turned his youngest son evil, but he won’t attempt to split the two of you. Not that Damian would let him.

[radarchives]

I dont think youve gotten an ask like this before since this is an om! blog and all and this is possibly gonna sound weird or dumb of me to ask a german native this, but how hard is your grammar really?

Reason (1-1) for my question: languages are my guilty pleasure. I'm only fluent in arabic and english rn but I wanna learn as much as I can, even if just basic facts, not a language itself

Reason (1-2): people learning german insist that the grammar is "brutal" especially for english-speakers but frankly it kinda feels that theres exaggeration or a "trend" along the lines of "german grammar is impossible because everyone says so" even if it's not THAT gory, yk?

Any new language IS gonna be hard at first- thats a given. And some languages like arabic / chinese / japanese / korean are listed at the top for difficulty. Ik that german grammar has many many rules and has exceptions... Linguistic sites say thats a reason for its complexity and the majority of learners agree with "yeah it's too difficult"

But tbh?? Idk

At this point it feels like a stereotype that was based off facts at first but then got negatively exaggerated?? I think yes german grammar is more "detailed" than the english norm / other grammar rules but it isnt monstrous like whats being often said and spread about it?

Thats why I wanna hear an authentic objective thought on this from a german if you dont mind🎤

hey there!

i really don't think German is one of the most difficult languages to learn. if you're an english native speaker the things you might struggle the most with are:

- pronunciation (harsher sounds, less soft than english, äöü sounds. when you have someone who can correct you this isn't as difficult to learn)

- grammar (lots of rules and lots of exceptions as well. words are gendered with der, die, das /feminine, masculine, neutral. also learning how to decline words can be tricky as well, but i think that just comes down to memorisation and practice)

- the sheer volume of vocabulary. a lot of words are HIGHLY specific (which is the fun part to be honest. there's lots of german words that are difficult to translate to english bc of this. an example would be the German word "doch" which is something similar to "yes it is" or "is not, is too")

i can imagine the difficulty level might be similar to learning french (at least from what i can compare). honestly i can only judge this so far, at work i do have lots of people around me who are just starting to learn the language, these are a few things that i saw them struggle with as well.

i think it mostly comes down to dedication and interest. you do have to put in a lot of effort, but you obviously have to do that for every language.

i think German gets a bad rep for sounding harsh and brutal, but i think it sounds quite beautiful. here's a little comp of German words i appreciate.

Nickerchen - nap

Maus - literally means mouse, but more recently has become youth slang. you can call someone "eine süße Maus" / literally a cute mouse / when they did something nice for example. Maus is originally gendered female = die Maus, but is used in a gn way like this. Meine Follower sind zum Beispiel richtig süße Mäuse 🥰

also used as an adjective (mausig)

Fremdschämen - being embarrassed for someone else. Wenn ich sehe, dass Lucifer redet als hätte er drei Wörterbücher verschluckt, schäme ich mich fremd.

unschön - unattractive, unpleasant. this one isn't special but it's my morally acceptable way of saying "well that fucking sucked" at work. Das ist jetzt aber unschön verlaufen.

so yeah! if you want to learn it don't let the naysayers stop you!

[jacobsbadwig]

I have this long standing analysis of YA media dropping the ball on themes and consequences for its main characters giving them huge plot armor. What I realize the frustrating part about them is that often they are fantasy or fantasy adjacent, the authors accidentally create these huge worlds and severe problems and implications, but ironically, their main characters are separate from the world they inhabit via tone or their characteristics or mindset not aligning with the world (aka 21 century American mindset in a fantasy that takes place in 18th Russian analog iykyk)

Like Bella’s story being a romance while everyone else in a horror or gothic novel or pseudo vampire thriller or fantasy series is like odd as @panlight often points out mentioning SMeyers unwillingness to really lean into the vampire of it all. Honestly in a non first person story, this could be played for laughs to even be interesting.

(Never mind Smeyers surface understanding of the novels and plays, that she references as Bella’s favorite stories. As a former English teacher, her understanding and Bella’s understanding is in fact of someone who read some classics in high school but didn’t necessarily delve into the commentary and themes of the works focusing on the aesthetics of the romance rather than understanding what said purpose romance actually serves in the narrative as a critic or other wise. Insert ‘Smeyer doesn’t know what star crossed lovers means and refuses to learn rant)

Ironically, Bella having a romance in her world is portrayed as the exception when we look at other characters, even the uncivilized vampires, she is in fact the norm.

What makes Bella special other than her shield she gets at the end? She isn’t even the only one with great control. There are other hybrids. She is special because the text tells us she is. I’m not going to compare her to other female protagonists because my point isn’t about Bella as a character but rather how her narrative allows her to be special without really, really setting her apart from everyone else.

Just about everything the narrative says is specific to Bella’s story can be found in other characters backstories (that honestly don’t matter but do matter as a comparison that Bella is the exception to the rule rather than the example as I stated above.)

I think a lot of people cling to the Twilight saga (and other YA novels) but simultaneously desire more from the narrative because we want to feel special without doing the work, which isn’t wrong especially at a young age when you are finding yourself, but once we reach a level of maturity, we want our gifts and specialness to allow us to love ourselves and move in society as it drives our lives.

It’s why we cling to characters like Carlisle who doesn’t have known powers and has had series of trauma and has to actively rise above it. Or Jacob who is beaten by the narrative and should have been a symbol of how fate is myth and bullshit and circumstances may forge your path but choices and perseverance can alter it or make the path better.

I wanted to discuss @fuckmeyer Come Nightfall along with other Twilight reimaginings and how I feel as though, hers is the best damn thing we have. But while trying to write out my thoughts and why I feel as though I could never accomplish something like that, I ended writing this post after many posts about Star Wars. Honestly, I am reminded about two ideas: we are protagonist in our own stories and we are also side characters in others. Meaning we are chosen ones chosen for something greater but that doesn’t mean no one else is a chosen one.

Maybe that’s why I have out grown YA novels. Adulthood is in fact learning that you are hot shit but not always hot shit but other people also make sure your shit stays hot and you also make sure theirs stays hot too.

At the end of this thought process, I am left asking what was Bella actually chosen for. To be born a vampire? A Cullen vampire? A vampire in general? Edward’s wife and Renegades mother? Did she actually take the Volturi down (no but I’m posing the question) Or did she deny the call to what her purpose was.

If the last thing is true, then someone must rise to take her place.

I think Come Nightfall and other ideas answer this question and make it clearer that Bella chose her path rather than it being forced upon in a way the OG Twilight didn’t convince me. At the same time, fics and musing that pose other answers are just as compelling.

As for me, I believe Bella Swan denied her call arguably the call was declined for her the moment Edward entered the picture or maybe when she went to the Volturi (the Volturi of it all is for a other post but they should have killed her or turned her like WTF? Dumb). But also Bella Cullen’s only purpose in the narrative was to be Edward’s wife and Renesemes’s mother regardless of her earlier apprehensions.

[thousand-winters]

Do you think Hunter has any extra attributes due to being a grimwalker? Like his teeth are sharper than the average witches or his eyes shine if a light is shined in them etc

I have two answers for this.

I get the feeling that in canon he wasn't intended to have any "unusual" traits or anything of the sort, the formula to make the grimwalkers probably ends up mixing into the closest being to a witch/demon you can have, without the bile sac, unless that's a Caleb specific thing since he was a human. There are a lot of unanswered questions when it comes to the grimwalkers, honestly.

Which is why my actual answer is yes. Because we really don't know exactly how grimwalkers work and it's the more fun option so that's usually the assumption I work with. Because why not.

It honestly depends what I'm thinking the headcanons for, a casual discussion, a fic... it's one of those things for me that's like "whatever works for this specific thing I'm doing but I can change it for another".

In general, I like to think that because he's sort of a mix when it comes to witchy and human traits, he needs a diet that includes food from the demon and the human realm. He can go without one of those but to be the most healthy he needs both.

The eyes are a really fun one as well, I do like to imagine they reflect the light, especially because along with Darius in his abomination form and Eberwolf with those glowing eyes of theirs, they end up being a family with unsettling eyes in the dark and Hunter probably would have such a blast with that. They're not family by blood but precisely because of that, it's more fun to him that they share a trait like that.

If he also had sharper teeth than whatever is the norm for witches, Eber could help him with that. He probably would need to get some chew toys, I imagine, especially if it's a trait that developed a bit later because before all the energy and nutrients his body got had to go to him surviving instead of developing properly, considering how his needs were going neglected.

I love the headcanon too that he gets particularly sleepy when someone scratches the back of his ears justs like the stonesleepers, except he doesn't actually turn to stone, he's just as hard to move as it once he falls asleep over someone like that. Very useful trick when for whatever reason he's having trouble sleeping, especially since he really has to make up for years of sleeping as little as possible.

That he has an easier time connecting with palismen (not bonding properly like witches do with their unique palismen, just befriending them) is also a good one, though very bittersweet, especially if he notices only after he's out of the Coven, because he's already going to be thinking about all those palismen he handed to Belos and feeling guilty and now he's gonna realize they might have had an affinity with him and then if they were aware enough at the moment, that probably made them trust him. And then... well. As a palisman carver that would be a boon though.

Oh! And can't forget the good old HC that he might be more resistant to boiling water. I figure he wouldn't have as high of a resistance as an actual selkidomus, but still higher than the average witch, so he can't be careless about it but he doesn't have too worry to death if he ever gets caught for a bit on the Boiling Rain and such. It doesn't keep Darius from having a couple of big frights there.

[meikuree]

FINALLY someone who didn't 100% love BES. I did enjoy some of it but I lean on the "disliked it on the whole" side and it's been so weird seeing everyone praise it to high heavens. I take it that you enjoyed it more than I did (I did not like a lot of the 3D visuals, unfortunately, so the visuals don't really redeem it for me), but I'd love to see some balanced takes from you anyway <3

anon, you're in good company! honestly i've been baffled by the blandly, one-note positive reception to this (30% of my grief has to do with BES's base story, and 70% has to do with uncritical fannish responses), because... to be uncharitable... I have some big problems with its construction. feel free to come off anon and kvetch in my DMs if you want, I'll probably share your sentiments. sorry for how long i've taken to answer this!

to be fair the show does some things right and I think its achievements/innovations in art style and animation are to be lauded; I'm not going to speak over that when I'm not an expert on animation or media theory, but it's a bad sign when praise about any media amounts to "well, it looks pretty" or hinges so heavily on its aesthetics. to be extremely clear this doesn't fully apply to BES, because it does have deft character work, compelling characters, and some impressive cinematic instantiation/inhabitation with its attention to setting and detail -- i was pleasantly surprised by the inclusion of deets like yaki-ire etc etc. -- but even on its purported selling points of japanese historicity and nuanced narratives about race, sexuality, gender, revenge, etc. I think it fails. it has glaring blindspots.

tldr: BES suffers from some (white) american/french narratorial sensibilities that kneecap the full potential of its story

or: BES pinged as an insufferably american and/or ahistorical rendition of its japanese building-blocks to me in some ways

it's probably just a case of misaimed audiences, and This Show Not Being For Me, but I've been baffled by:

how seamlessly some scenes around sex work and brothels and eroticism in this show slide in with orientalist tropes about japan being the Weird Sex and Kinky country despite the japanese-american creator at its helm, who's also spoken out against tropes like that -- until a buddy gave some context that those undertones seem to have been inspired by bande dessinées (french comics) with not-unsimilar tropes that may have been transplanted carelessly into BES by the studio

and this is what I mean by 'american/french' sensibilities -- I don't mean american/french in the most skin-deep representational sense, as in the studio that made it is an american-french one or whatever, as 'representation' is too often conceived on tumblr to be limited to, but on the deeper epistemological level of its worldview, frameworks of sexuality/race, and the cultural terrain it's working off or conversing with. BES includes storylines/arcs/even mawkish dialogue far more reminiscent of those in american cartoons. which is not an issue except of one of taste, but fannish responses holding it up as a groundbreaking commentary on race are orbiting a different universe imo

more egregiously it sustains overtones of that american favourite about the grand, Super Existential! Super Inevitable! and intrinsic clash of Cultures and Civilisations with a big C (a highly discredited idea in critical academic circles now, thankfully, no thanks to samuel p. huntington)

I almost wish the show had maintained a greater separation from IRL analogues or just invented a fresh fantasy universe because why set it in edo-era japan if you're not going to engage with the sociocultural norms, or narratorial traditions of that era

see: literary genres around jitsuroku (revenge narratives), how revenge would have been treated as a tool of sociocultural legitimisation then, the apparent forgettance of the entire history of nanban trade and the fact that japan as a geographical entity was not technically ethnically homogeneous, or only homogeneous from a hegemonic pov, given the existence of the ainu, the kingdom of ryukyu, and northern communities of hokkaido although tbf japan's borders probably didn't include them

i was hoping for an internal critique of or just more nuance about the 'japan = ethnically homogenous' narrative in the show and was more disappointed as it went on -- imo it's a narrative often most stridently parroted by the japanese government for nation-building interests and by others to avoid interrogations of the actual complexity of striations, divisions, etc in japan e.g. with burakumin (lower-'caste'* peoples)

* note: caste is an imperfect and not fully accurate descriptor

a significant part of my ire is reserved for the handling of 'whiteness' in this show although it's mostly hand-wringing over the complexity of intended audiences in this show, which might not be fair to blame on the creators; yes, whiteness is foreign and Other and bad, but what about the material and historical precursors that gave rise to that Otherness in the first place, where are they?; and look! whiteness is demonised; but the cartoon's being released in the USA and europe. it's certainly true that japan is institutionally hostile to foreigners and xenophobic, kudos for depicting the politics of that, but BES's american audiences mean i'm ambivalent about its in-universe premise that what is in fact an oft-fetishised trait in mixed race children (blue eyes) is bad (and the show's aesthetics don't support it; mizu's eyes are portrayed in the most beautiful way possible even though she's diagetically meant to be hideous and monstrous)

[raw-law]

Opinions on each other? Romantic or platonic??👀

Light:

Ryuzaki is...for lack of a better word, interesting. I'm sure you'd describe him as that if you ever saw him. His diet and clothing is horrendous, yes...but I have to say, he's excellent at what he does. He picks things up very quickly and is a natural genius in most aspects, except when it comes to social interaction and all that normal things that normal people are forced into doing by societal norms.

He also provides me with some scintilliating conversation. Which is refreshing, especially after you've spent your whole life with a bunch of high school kids. Sometimes, weirdly...I find that he's probably the only person in this world who understands.

I like the fact that he never tries to hide his...interesting habits from people, too. He's unapologetically himself, and I'll admit that I do enjoy that aspect of him. Perhaps it's even something to learn from---never thought I'd say this, but there is it.

And I'll admit, he can be a good friend---no, a good person sometimes. Won't elaborate on that, though.

L:

i have many opinions on light-kun. he fascinates for a variety of reasons.

on the surface, he's the perfect student. naturally intelligent, determined, a hard-worker, studious, overall extremely well-rounded. it's impressive to pull off a reputation like that alone, even if it was fake. it's not for him though. because underneath all that, he's much more complex.

he's secretive about almost everything. pretty stubborn and hardheaded too, but in a way where it works in his favor. also rarely works on impulse. the "risks" he takes are still calculated. he seems to calculate a lot of things, actually. basic conversations seem more like a petty back and forth game than any actual bonding. he can talk about my lack of social skills all he likes, but i think we both know that he's not very experienced in social interactions either, at least any genuine ones.

maybe that's why we understand each other. i'll admit that he does feel like the first person i've truly connected to. he's just easier to be around overall, even with his persistent nagging. i appreciate that about him. i still wouldn't trust him entirely though, since i know there's bound to be a moment where he'd have to throw me under to stay on top. and honestly, i wouldn't blame him if he did.

[absolutebl]

Hello! So, I have a LGBTQ/ BL question (I first got obsessed with BL a few months ago and am still learning a lot of things!)

Anyways, I just watched Semantic Error and loved it, but I want to know: is it a thing with most KBLs where they act like being gay is a non issue? For most of the series I assumed it was one of the barriers to them getting together—like internalized homophobia/ lack of social acceptance—and then at the end it seemed like that wasn’t an issue at all. That’s also been true of the (very few) other KBLs I’ve seen and I wonder if that’s pretty typical?

Also, I’m curious what you think about this. I can see why it could be considered a move in the right direction, because it normalizes the gay experience and not every story needs/should be about how hard it is to come out. But also, I live in Korea (I’m not Korean but am married to a Korean), and I can say that this is nowhere near close to reality. Homophobia is basically still the norm here, and to me, avoiding the issue completely feels pretty false and maybe like an attempt to avoid discussing anything controversial?

But also, if I’m being completely honest, my desire for Semantic Error to bring up the issue had a lot more to do with plot development than with representation… I feel embarrassed to say this as a cis-gender, straight female, but I really like the forbidden love aspect of BL. It’s one of the main things that draws me to it, but I feel guilty saying that because it’s sort of like I’m using people’s real lived experience and suffering as a plot point? Or romanticizing it or something? But also, a lot of Semantic Error was about how Sangwoo has to acknowledge and accept his feelings, which would have had a whole nother layer against the backdrop of a homophobic society. Anyways, I’m curious what you honestly think. I won’t be offended if you think my obsession with forbidden love in BL is problematic.

And I don’t mean to say that EVERY story has to be that. I really enjoyed Bad Buddy, for example. Although, I do think it’s kind of funny that in order to keep the forbidden love aspect without making social acceptance of being gay a stumbling block, they basically just reused Romeo and Juliet, probably the oldest forbidden love story there is… lol. I feel like there’s a reason this trope has withstood the test of time. In every love story there has to be SOME barrier to them getting together, otherwise it would be extremely lame 😂

Anyways, I’m really curious to hear what you think!

Short answer, yes. We call the the KBL bubble. I talk about it here:

Here's an older post I wrote about BL and honest queerness (and it's pretty much coming true... except in Korea).

[ferzin]

TW: TRANSPHOBIA EXPIERIENCE (god why me), also some swearing

note: on art my trans-coloured sona ripping apart terf's (fart's) flagterf — trans exclusionary radical feminist fart — feminism appropriating ridiculous transphobe

guten abend, meine freunde. i want to spill out my hatred and also share disgusting situation that happened to me. this august i've published my meet the artist on other platform (it hadn't english lettering, so it wasn't here). i've pridly anounced myself as trans and nb. and i will not reject my identity for someone's air-built painful perception that there's more than two genders. "why such thoughts?" you may ask. well, a few days ago my partner find out what i got publishly disgraced 'cause of my transgender. how sweet. i'm convinced once again that some individuals' brain convolutions stopped working somewhere at the beginning of puberty, which is why the narrowness of their thinking causes exclusively condescending pity. yeah, it's hard to be slow-witted in modern society when where's so much useful and correct information, and you're still thinking in such medieval terms. i despise terf/fart or other transphobes and openly express pure rage to this kind of "people". i hate any radical movement no matter if it regards quirphobia or other important aspects of my/other's lives. and i won't tolerate if such individuals will come close to me or my close people. there's no meaning if the hatred is shared. so all that pile of lousy sh*t: terf, homophobes, any other transphobes, sexist, racist and etc. — go to hell. go away from me and my relatives. 'cause i will tear apart anyone, who will insult my loved ones. and they will do the same for me. one thing that drove me feral — commentaries were fully misgendering me. believe me, you don't know how much i'm pissed off. there's no words to descride it. but i think other trans-persons will understand me... sadly. misgendering person on purpose is just hideous. it's banal rudeness and direct insult. if someone's gender for whatever reason huffs you (which is, honestly, weird and kinda selfish, especially if there's no logical reason), then simply don't contact with that person. no talking behind back either. don't have courage to say calmly you're complaint in face — then shut the f*ck up. btw, that post with hate on me was published anonimously :) baby pissed their pants, yikes, how saaad. uhh... if you knew how much i'm tired of this... i don't ask pity for me, i don't need it, but... to turn heat down i want to talk a little 'bout myself. right now i'm firmly confident in my identity. i'm almost a fully formed person, and i have enough background to tell that with determination. i will not bow to some randoms' convenience. i will not "accept" my birth gender. my gender, my identity — is only my own choice. no one don't have even a single right to tell me who to be, no one couldn't know wnat's in my head. i went through a lot and will never again submit to someone’s desires just to be comfortable. i suffered from dysphoria from an early age, I felt out of place. i was burning from tantrums and tortured myself both mentally and physically from hatred of my appearance, personality, everything. i almost f*cking died because i felt wrong. and now when i'm finally feeling better some dumbs dare to say "she's just having an episode"? hell, no. ✨ i am transgender, i am nonbinary, i am who I really am. ✨ all my scars show my way. too long i was choking my true identity, so now i will not cut myself for some stranger's comfort. my life belongs only to me. and i'm the grandmaster here. i am insanly happy thanks to my loved ones. they except me absolutely, they don't demand to fit the norms of conservatism. they value the real me. i love you. 💕

and i want to say for other people, suffering from pointless hatred and humiliation. not only trans, not even only queers! it's devastating how many people can't just be free... i hope someday the society will open their eyes. but for now... dont't give up and be yourself!

[butchbarbieagainstterfs]

Have you noticed this trend of feminist women who generally don't hang out in TERF spaces defending conservatives? Like TERFs tend to think that femininity is oppressive, but these seem to think that femininity is under attack. They call themselves feminists, just like TERFs do, and they defend conservatives, just like TERFs do, but they come at it from a different angle.

I see this type of feminist so much on baby name websites. It's honestly mind-boggling how much the feminist cis moms on there keep missing the point of debates and derailing it to the point where they call normal people misogynist for basically nothing, while letting obvious sexists slink by. Actually I will use this as an example because I think it shows just how oblivious they are to gender essentialism. An average argument will go something like this:

Tradmomma: "My neighbour named her daughter Elliot Rebecca. Can you believe! A girl with a boy name! Horrible! Girls all want to be feminine and these parents are forcing masculinity on their baby!"

Divinemotherhood: "I know, they're trying to erase gender! My own husband suggested we name out son Evelyn after his grandfather, but no son of mine is going to have a sissy name. Thankfully I convinced my hubby and we named our baby Daniel."

Blueylover: "Idk, I like some boy names on girls. Elliot is a lovely choice. And there's good feminine nicknames too if she ends up girly, like Ellie!"

Allison1987: "Uh, I can't belive you, Blueylover! People like you who only like boy names on girls and not girl names on boys are the worst kind of sexist! Why can't you appreciate feminity? I bet you just give your daughters boy names because you want them to be CEOs one day, as if my daughter can't do the same with a girls' name! I want to bestow my daughters with names filled with women's history, so they have female rolemodels who share their name!

[Five people proceed to have a lengthy but shallow discussion about how it's more common to give girls boy names than the other way around (which could be interesting except the whole argument is too shallow to make any real points), and how that means that nobody values feminine women anymore. Blueylover is painted as a horrible misogynist, while Tradmomma and Divinemotherhood get completely forgotten. Someone asserts that their daughter, Annabella Ballerina Pink Princess, has a good, versital name that fits any type of personality she might have as an adult, and people agree that it forces fewer gender norms than Elliot Rebecca does. Blueylover leaves the forum and everyone pats themselves on the back for having cleared the space from people who disrespect women.]

There's so many of these types of "defend femininity at all costs" feminsts around me and I feel like I'm going insane. A conservative will call me a slur for being a (non-passing) trans man, and then one of these feminists will show up right after and say that my identity as a trans man is valid, but since I chose to dress like an average guy instead of wearing dresses and stuff, it means I'm disrespecting femininity so I'm sexist and deserved the bad treatment anyway. No shade towards femininity itself, but it's not for me, and it's weird that supposed feminists don't think I should be allowed to avoid it even after a lifetime of being forced into it.

Have you also noticed this type of feminist? I feel like there's more of them since the pandemic started. What's your take?

Yeah people like that give a bad name to feminism. It’s always the mothers commenting on other people’s children too and making assumptions about infants based on nothing but their biology.

This is why I have my own unique relationship with feminism and rarely go into solely feminist spaces. They’re way too often, in my experience, overrun with white, cishet, stereotypically feminine mothers with bigoted views, who think their way is the only way and anyone who disagrees just hates them because they’re women.

[deathsbestgirl]

okay so i need to talk about this re: small potatoes

like !!! scully knows the way mulder looks her and she has such a hard time reading van blundht!mulder because of this.

first she’s concerned because he just shows up at her apartment, which isn’t completely out of the norm but it means either something is wrong, or there’s a case. but this time, he shows up gives her an ooc smile & brings wine. scully has no idea what’s going on and she falls back on their usual topic of conversation: work.

since she’s gotten out of the hospital, maybe except when her nose bleeds, things are normal (their normal) between them. usual gazes & conversations with their eyes.

but this night, van blundht!mulder is giving her a look she’s never seen before. he’s thoughtful in a different way — because he’s trying to get her in bed and not in a way mulder is likely to do. scully wouldn’t really know that though. she might have her assumptions of how he would act, but she hasn’t seen him openly hit on anyone & certainly not her — not like that.

and even when he goes in for the kiss, she looks so confused. at this point, i’m not sure she’s fully acknowledged her feelings and i think this incident made her think about it. because she was okay with mulder kissing her. scully just didn’t expect this from him. he is so obsessed with their work & finding samantha & helping her. he never seemed to care about dating or sex, despite his porno habit.

scully didn’t have any idea that it was van blundht but she does say to him “i’m seeing a whole new side of you” and fucking van blundht!mulder (the CREEP that he is) asks if that’s a good thing. honestly sickening.

i think it also explains mulder’s whole reaction too. like he had no idea kissing scully was an option. but he also *knew* van blundht would do to scully what he did to all those other women with mulder’s face. he knew what van blundht would think about them, about him and he would go for it.

i think the whole ordeal mortified mulder much more than we got to see. for himself & for scully. and of course after this, it still takes them ages to make any real moves. it’s insane but why in the world wouldn’t they be hesitant? they definitely didn’t have a proper conversation about it and both were scared off because it wasn’t ~real. not yet.

[glorixusbeast]

This one won't be really for anyone to relate to: it's more of a journal entry that's taking place in a semi-public forum.

I have NPD - it's my primary PD diagnosis - but I also have traits of BPD and APD/ASPD. I'm not capable of guilt or remorse; most of my relationships except for three (and Daddy might decide to drop it down to just one - him) are based more off of what they're able to do for me than anything genuine; I've no compunctions about manipulating people to get what I want; I have no empathy and prior to Daddy struggled with chronic boredom and only being able to feel things in extremes. Social norms and morals? What's that?

And that's just the NPD and APD part.

The BPD bit?

That's how I attach to people. Which is rare - that's why, in my whole thirty years, there's only been three people with whom I've had genuine, caring attachments with. And to some degree with all three I am possessive or obsessive, or both. And because of this (and that the root of most cluster B's is significant and chronic childhood trauma), I have ~abandonment issues~.

As much as I'm terrified of the idea of being abandoned by Daddy (I know he won't), I want him to use that fear against me. To manipulate me and break me down psychologically even further than I already am. Even more terrifying, I want him to do this to me when he's fucked a baby into me. Especially when I'm far enough along that termination is no longer an option. I want him to force me into a corner, emotionally, to reach such a point that I'll do fucking anything for him so long as he promised to never leave me.

The cognitive dissonance of abandonment being a massive trigger for a variety of traumas and how much it turns me on to think about and hope and want for Daddy to threaten me with it is fucking with me in ways I never thought I'd willingly put myself through. It's a massive mixed bag of emotions: arousal, humiliation and shame, desperation, need, anxiety, fear and terror, excitement, love.

Those were all the things I felt last night when I shared this with Daddy.

Honestly, the best/worst part is he wouldn't even need to go that far to ensure I'd do anything for him.

But... I want him to do it anyway. Need him to do this to me.

I need him to torture me emotionally, tie me to him permanently with a baby, and drive that final nail in the coffin of my ability to be independent of him.

[thehellishtrinity]

Oooo 11, 29, 31, and 33 for An Lumin 👀

OOO alright this one got pretty long so I'm sticking it under the cut!

11. What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to your oc? Do they still feel ashamed for it? Were there any witnesses?

This one's a bit of a complicated question because to feel embarrassed, one must first have a sense of shame which An Lumin has very little of. The closest thing to embarrassing would be, probably: when he was younger his current-day partner (at the time best friend) liked disguising himself as a human and sneaking into human villages to play. Occasionally, he'd bring An Lumin along and, well, they were both children. They both looked like children. Thus, they were treated like children. For An Lumin, who was born a genius and constantly treated like an adult due to his intellect, such treatment was incredibly unfamiliar. While it wasn't unpleasant to have people fawning over him and baby-talking him, it was certainly embarrassing at the time. Of course, he isn't very embarrassed by it now, but it was embarrassing in the moment as a child.

29. How empathetic is your oc? Or are they closer to being a sociopath? Any reason why?

An Lumin is.... not very empathetic. He's very much closer to being a socipath. While he has a lot of cognitive empathy-- he can easily understand why people feel certain ways and name what emotions they're feeling-- he lacks true empathy. He doesn't feel bad for people at all. He lacks care for all people except for the select few that he've chosen to let close to him and even then, his feelings towards them are strange. Take his partner, Bai Lirong, for example. An Lumin could not live without Bai Lirong and would be incredibly saddened if he were ever to go, but if he were to see Bai Lirong sad or in pain, he wouldn't feel bad for him. His emotions would be closer to entertainment or intrigue, but he will act in the appropriate way to solve the problem Bai Lirong has to make him feel better because while he doesn't feel bad for him, he knows generally speaking you're supposed to keep the people you love happy. As for why he's like this........ honestly, he was just born like that. His upbringing also probably didn't help (his parents are very sadistic people who exposed him to death and pain early on so he would accept that as the norm) but he is also just genuinely born like that.

31. What is your oc’s sense of humour like? What do they find funny? Do they try to be funny? Are they actually?

An Lumin has a pretty awful sense of humor, honestly. He's the type of person who finds putting other people in awkward situations and humiliating them funny. He will make clever quips he thinks are funny from time to time but. Nobody thinks they are funny. He is not a funny person. He tries. He is not.

33. How does your oc’s own perception of themselves compare to how other people see them? Is your oc aware that other people see them differently (if it’s different)?

I think An Lumin's view of himself is probably a bit darker than how others see him! He is a very sharp person with incredible observational skills and as such, is generally very aware of how people perceive him. Or, to be more exact, he is very intentional with how he presents himself so people perceive him exactly as he wants them to: amicable and friendly but not to be trifled with. And, for the most part, this is how he sees himself too! It's just that.. well, you mix in his sadistic tendencies and other details that the average person doesn't know about and he makes for a slightly darker figure than people think he is.

[bottomlessabyssposts]

hello fellow former mlb victim fan

I’m so curious now on what your thoughts on the show are. Like, just in general and also how the romance was handled. If you wanna share 👀

LISTEN. Way too many things and I will end up making this post too long but... I have some pent up frustration so let's just go by seasons (+ some other stuff) THIS IS VERY LONG SO HAVE A NICE READ

S1 : I think s1 was fine overall, though I was absolutely creeped out by Mari's behavior like ??? She's very likable and honestly I enjoy her character most of the time but it's just. Why would you make this 14 years old obsessive ?? As a middle aged man ?? AS A GAG ???? anyways. I think s1 was the only season where I don't have many things to say because 1) it wasn't that bad 2) i don't remember much

S2 : The beginning of my doom, CN is dumbed down more and more by the writers in favor of LB and this is so weird. Adrien isn't dumb, what he is oblivious and unaware of social norms. He spent his life homeschooled. (ALSO may I ask why is his life presented as going down hill when his mom disappeared when he's always been hidden from the world ?? Why is his mom shown as good when he couldn't even go to school and didn't have any friends except Chloé ??? How is she a good mother ??? How did his father change exactly ?? Did he just become colder or ??)

I think the swap kwami episode was in s2 and this is one of my LEAST favorite episodes ; CN's job is perceived as easy compared to LB but i'm sorry can Mari sacrifice herself so easily without any guarantee to come back ?? The heavy burden of the power of destruction and the knowledge that she could KILL someone doesn't bother her ??? This episode just served the purpose to show how LB is just. Much more important than CN and I am SICK of it.

Also uh can we talk real quick about Master Fu ? Dude thought "training" (that apparently happened off screen which is just bad writing) a CHILD to become the next guardian was a good idea ? Mari is a kid with dreams and passions and chaining her down to this duty is just outright cruel. In later seasons we don't even see her make anything ? She is supposed to want to become a fashion designer and now she's stuck stressing over kwamis and a way too complicated task where if she messes up, the world as they know it ends.

ALSO. Just my opinion but. The guardian shouldn't have been Mari. Or Adrien. It should've been a third party, completely unrelated, so no power imbalance would be created between CN and LB. I'm sorry but this is such a huge thing about the show, that has been hammered into our heads, that "destruction and creation must be balanced" and they do that ?? (plus it led to the season i hate the most, s4) The show had the opportunity to introduce another character, or make use of an already introduced one (i.e Luka) and make them a guardian ! Or something ??

s3 was fine, I liked Chat Blanc for the most part (Mari's tresspassing, her sniffing Adrien's pillow... ugh.) and thought it was very very heartbreaking to see Adrien like that, my poor boy cannot catch a break. Also Chloé redemption !! She deserved it, with her abusive mother and all, too bad they decided to burn everything by making her a caricature of herself and introducing the most bland replacement for her ! (A half sister whose existence made NO SENSE ? I thought Chloé's mom didn't like kids ? Plus why would she bother taking her other kid to Paris, and risking her reputation with cheating rumors ???)

Now... Now let's talk about s4... So much happened in this god forsaken season and i'm so, so, so tired and shed so many tears of RAGE. Chat Noir became a sidekick, plain and simple. Not even "just" a sidekick the protagonist would respect, like Robin, but a simple fill-in, a "partner like any other" as LB so amicably put it in Kuro Neko. I feel like the writers wanted to write conflict and all but... it's so badly written and only served to make people hate CN.

Chat's trust was abused so many times (Ephemeral, when he and LB were supposed to show the other their identity but what he didn't know was that Viperion was to know too, instead of just... explaining the situation ?), he was kept in the dark many, many times, not only by LadyBug, but also by his Father (interesting parallels) and Fu, all which, somehow, have a position of power over him. He felt replaced, which is entirely valid, because as much as he didn't communicate this, he offered LB his help so many times, and tried to open up, and all these have been either ignored or rejected. (now I'll talk about Mari's side after, but just know that i absolutely do not blame her for being stressed ! I am just critizing her actions which hurt her supposed best friend and partner very deeply) Not to mention Scarabella, whom he never knew the existence of, and could've killed. Chat probably doesn't care much that someone knows her identity, but she never told him, or even considered telling him to find someone to tell, too. I'm sorry but LB has been so strict on these rules but now she doesn't follow them, yet expects Chat to. (also, i'm mad they stripped Chloé of her miraculous because apparently "Hawkmoth knows who she is". Well, Hawkmoth knows who Ryuko is too, as well as Rena, or Viperion. Yet they still have theirs ?)

Chat has no support !! no circle to support him whereas Mari has Alya, even the Kwamis, her parents, and her friends ! Adrien's parents are off the list, Nathalie is way too close to his Father, the Gorille isn't much help, and it's not like he's actually close to anyone if not Nino (their only memorable interaction is in Rocketear in s4). Then, he loses his miraculous and is actually blamed for getting hurt by LB's behavior and reacting harshly (he should yes apologize however) LB has provided NO apologies, instead making Chat feel guilty ?? I remember this episode SO well because I was HOPING for a sweet Ladynoir scene, but NOOOOOOOO. Also this showed how shallow Mari's love for Adrien was -- she's basically in love with his mask, not very different from Kagami "Stop acting like a clown" Tsurugi

I think, however, that showing why Adrigami and Lukanette wouldn't work is a great idea ! Was it greatly handled ? Not really, but it could've been great ! I love Kagami and Luka and I wish for them to be in good hands (mine)

One last thing about Chat, then we'll talk about Mari's side ; I HATE HATE HATE how they ignore his struggles or act as if they do not exist. The creator himself calls Adrien "perfect" and act as if Adrien is totally fine, when the situations the boy is in SHOW how distressing his situation is. Adrien is CANONICALLY shown to : accept death and die, more than once, try to cataclysm himself, eat very little, have weak boundaries and doesn't know how to say 'no', isn't really aware of others' boundaries as well, shut down as soon as his father raises his voice, been hit by his Father (both in normal and Hawkmoth form), still hasn't been able to properly grieve his mother. ALL of this, and none of it has been explored, because the focus is not on him if Mari isn't there. The writers HATE abused kids and I'm not afraid to say it, because s5 spoilers showed how they're (Adrien, Chloé and Kagami) treated and considered by the writers.

Now, onto Mari ! You're heard everything I complained about, now let's hear something else ; I loved seeing her under the pressure and how it affected her, though I find it cruel, it was interesting to see since she learned a lot about herself and other people. Too bad the writers refuse to make characters change, huh. Also, nice that she tries to move on from Adrien ! Still not over the statue thing, but it's refreshing to see her move on, if only for like, three episodes. I wish we could've seen genuinely learn how to treat her partner better, how to not take him for granted. Maybe her resenting Master Fu for putting such a heavy burden on her shoulders ? She's the class president, a full time middle schooler, guardian and super hero, and that's it. She cannot indulge in her hobbies anymore and that sucks, because she deserves to be a kid. The writers obviously want her to be the most important character by pushing every single thing and events on her, even when her presence is not even necessary.

Since Mari is pushed to be the centre of everything, where she shouldn't even be, it means she gets both privilege by the writers, and also pain. It was nice though to have a character I could empathize with and also critisize, though the writers want to make her as lovely as possible.

As for the romance between Mari and Adrien... I stopped wanting them to be together in s4, because truth be told, they're incompatible, and the Universe obviously doesn't like them together either lol. It was so weirdly put in s5, and I stopped watching the show since then, so I don't know much, except for big, big spoilers which make me want to barge in the writers' room and strangle them one by one.

The ship is no longer something I enjoy, for many reasons, and I think they should've ended up with someone else (Adrien realizing he's gay and Marinette kissing Kagami on the lips for example)

Okay and for s5 just know that I hate it.

-> Marinette, of all people, learning who Hawkmoth is and then CHOOSING not to tell Adrien, as well as offering Gabriel to die as a hero, is just horrible. The conscious choice of taking away his agency, ONCE AGAIN, hiding secrets from him, hiding from him the fact that his father, his abuser, is HAWKMOTH is horrible. I wanted the confrontation between him and his father, but NOTHING. Mari got the spotlight and Adrien is nothing more than a bird in a cage I hate the writers.

-> Chloé got disowned by her (incompetent) dad and forced to leave with her Mother. What a way to get rid of the bully ! Giving her to her abusive mother ! Who doesn't know her name, doesn't care about ! As if Chloé didn't cry "why don't you love me, mom ?" ! God.

-> the senti reveal. I hate the senti theory i hate that it's real. They can't fight back, otherwise they can just be erased of existence, and even taking back the amok is useless because what if it breaks ? what if you lost it ? someone steals it ? I hate it so, so, so much, and making abused kids sentihumans is the worst thing ever.