#any time AFTER he CONFIRMS ai di has real feelings for him-which he does during the bar scene. there was no miscommunication there

[casualavocados]

How's that possible? Since when did you start eating spicy food? I told you I'd do it for real next time. ...Don't touch me, or—I'll kill you!

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 12

[skania]

Aqua, Akane and their relationship during his "Freedom" period

I know a lot of people dismiss Aqua's words to Akane in Chapter 97 because he wasn't shown being all smiles during their time together, but I think those people forget that Aqua has a very complex, very difficult, very painful rapport with happiness.

He has lived his entire life, be it as Goro or as Aqua, feeling guilty. Goro quite literally felt guilty for existing: he couldn't forgive himself for living at the expense of his mother. This guilt is accompanied by a feeling of powerlessness: he beats himself up because he couldn't do more for Sarina, and as Aqua he blames himself because he couldn't save Ai.

He assigns no worth to his own life. He has panic attacks when he lets himself enjoy things. Even something as innocent as Ruby reminding him of Sarina makes him think that he is unforgivable because he doesn't deserve salvation.

After living this way for so long, it's only natural that he still struggles with allowing himself to be happy during his "Freedom" period.

To make matters worse, this newfound freedom was born from Aqua running away from the truth and from all his issues. Ichigo said so himself, there is no way Aqua didn't notice the loophole. Himekawa literally tells him what age he was when his dad died, some simple math would've automatically let Aqua realize that the timeline didn't add-up.

But Aqua didn't want to realize it. He blinded himself to the truth because Himekawa gave him the escape he has been desperately yearning for since (at least) the TB arc.

Since Aqua didn't actually solve any of his issues and traumas, it's to be expected that they keep weighting down on him throughout that year. After all, healing takes time.

We see this weight very clearly in his dynamic with Kana, since his Ai-related trauma is the biggest factor in him completely avoiding her.

We naturally also see it in his dynamic with Akane.

Three examples come to mind:

Akane tells him that she enjoys being with him. We know for a fact that Aqua is reluctant to part ways with Akane, which means he enjoys being with her too. But he isn't used to letting himself enjoy things. So, how does Aqua react?

His guilt flares up and he focuses on how undeserving he is of her, even trying to convince her (and himself) that their relationship is nothing but a lie.

Something very similar happens here:

Akane tells Aqua that she wants to see him, and Aqua looks torn before admitting that he wants to see her too. It'd be easy to interpret his expression as Aqua feeling guilty because he is about to lie to Akane, specially since this page is followed by a page of Kana crying over him. But I believe it's the opposite.

We see him that very chapter asking Akane about her schedule so they can see each other. This alone shows that Aqua does want to see Akane, and the fact that Akane later says that Aqua has been doing his best not to lie to her confirms Aqua is being truthful when he tells her that he wants to see her soon, too.

So, why does he make that sad face?

I believe it's his guilt flaring up again. Knowing him, I bet that thoughts like these ran through his mind:

Does someone like me really deserve to live a normal relationship like this? Would Akane want to see me if she knew that I'm the reincarnation of Goro Amamiya? It it okay for me to want to see Akane even though I know Kana is hurting because I've been avoiding her?

Still, it's important to notice that we can see the positive effect that time has had on Aqua. During that first example, Aqua tried to put up a wall between him and Akane by claiming that their relationship wasn't real; during the second, he hesitates but ultimately admits that he returns the feeling and wants to see her too.

This trend of Aqua becoming more open with time continues in the last example, which comes precisely from Chapter 97:

Akane confirms that she is glad that she is dating him, that he makes her happy, and Aqua looks utterly caught off-guard, as if the thought of being able to make Akane happy was shocking to him.

His most telling reaction happens right after, though:

Aqua's lips tremble. He looks near tears. Why?

Because to him, who felt like he was underserving of salvation, being with Akane has felt remarkably close to it.

I feel that this moment right here contextualizes all the examples I mentioned before: Akane does make him happy and he doesn't know what to do about it half the time, because he isn't sure if he deserves that happiness at all. But Akane makes him feel like he just might.

And the truth is that he doesn't want to give up on it—on her, because to him his relationship with Akane has become synonym to the happiness that has been eluding him all along.

So I personally can't dismiss his words to her during Chapter 97, because to me they are actually meant to reveal the way Aqua has been feeling all along.

[dizzybizz]

you have unleashed a demon. i warned you.

i don't think this is going to have any structure whatsoever but i will pretend it does for my own sanity.

i want to start with some behind the scenes stuff bc obviously i do

like i only named guy that because i didn't want to think too hard about names and he has always been a silly little guy. his farms name is sail away farm,,, like the enya song. that's where it came from but really it's a SSS reference cus i will bring other SIs into this somehow. (it was from one of the ai dungeon streams... when julia wrapped up yet another accidental psychological horror story by sailing away whilst listening "to the tunes of enya")

and with remy i had already planned on romancing harvey so i wanted a name i could make a funny shipname of. their shipname is harmy (ironic isn't it ^^). stowaway farm came from some thoughts i had about remy's life before moving to pelican town. where he didn't feel welcome and like the people around him weren't keen on being seen with him. and i just liked the ring it has to it :) the two of them both having farms with "away" in the name was accidental and didn't hit me until after it was too late to change it.

here they are at the character creation screen !!!!

GUY IS MY SILLIEST LITTLE GUY. he's like a hamster or a chipmunk or other small rodents

him asf ^^^^

he's also like ponyo to me, he is very ponyocoded. his theme song would be the full version of ponyo on the cliff by the sea.

he is a biter, a chewer. he's kirby, a chainchomper... he would snack on rocks if he could. he's the breakdancing sims cat. he has bad volume control. he is an octopus, a koala, a monkey. he names a lot of his farm animals after fictional characters. but his hens are named hip, hop, cherry and pop after the lemon demon song. he would take a sip of a joja cola and go "oh, that is vile" and keep taking sips like he needs to confirm it multiple times.

him and elliott are so silly..... their shipname is gull which worked out so well it almost seems intentional. they both got ties to the ocean and beach... we love to see it. they got together the day after elliott's birthday, not only that but it was also right before elliott's 8 heart event. so it was really like guy came in before his book reading, asked him out and then was all "THAT'S MY BF EVERYONE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH" during the reading... he is his biggest cheerleader

he is best friends with emily and shane. and when emily mentioned that she would make a good clown during the stardew fair, he said "this is why we're best friends. we would be the best clowns." and he ate three burgers in a row that day. one day during blackberry season he collected 93 blackberries and was just running around the town with them on his person. him and gus have history together which i will make a whole comic about some day. whilst gaming with abigail he ran into enemies twice and got himself killed. he accidentally bought a pirate sword from marlon. he has died once. he is trying to goad alex into actually shaving his hair off because of that one throwaway comment. HE HAS TWO GARBAGE HATS. (tootsies is SO getting the other one once 1.6 is out)

^ this is what he wore for spirit's eve, called it "farmer in a rush" (he literally just took off his shorts)

i have way less on remy cus he isn't as far along and has had a mostly average time in pelican town so far.

remy is just a big dog who is scared of most things. he is a baby giraffe trying to walk for the first time. he feels very out of place in social interactions. his limbs are too long for him. he is trying his best.

he can come off as very... displeased... his resting face just looks slightly ticked off. really he's a big softie. he has some real unfortunate luck too.. except the night of the egg hunt when he had a fairy visit. he holds onto that little bit of luck there. a glimmer of hope. he had a meteor crash in the middle of his farm, luckily his crops were safe and sound tho, small mercies. weeds damaged his farm the same night the scripted earthquake hit. one day in the mines he got so lost in the dark he had to give up for the day and head up to the surface again, he was one level away from an elevator. he is financially struggling. he names his animals after food. his theme song would probably be cave in by margaux or something.

harmy is a slow-burn, strangers to friends to lovers scenario. they're delightful, i can't wait to see their relationship develop. remy kinda wanted to ask harvey to dance during the flower dance but chickened out (totally not because i only had 3 hearts with him stfu) (also those two pages aren't canon in my headcanon cus i think both of them would be oblivious and dumb as a rock. i just wanted to draw it lol. i think it takes a whileeee for either of them to ever catch feelings.)

he doesn't know many of the villagers too well. he is taking his time settling in fully and is so busy with the farm and mines and fishing and whatnot. oh y'know when sam asks you what his next song should be about?? yeah, remy said trains which has planted the idea that he is a former train kid in my head. and that's something he and harvey can bond over- i think it's really sweet :'). train and plane autism couple. remy has a sweet tooth. he feels intimidated by most villagers. i have a whole hair arc planned for him where he ends up growing his hair out once he really settles in. it's gonna be so epic. he went through 3 of emily's heart events in a row which was wild.

his chest lineup >>>>>

here's an expression sheet i started and will hopefully finish one day

i think that's all for now- I TOLD YOU IT WAS GOING TO BE A LONG POST NO?? ARE YOU HAPPY??? I AM. INFODUMPING IS AWESOME.

i ain't proofreading this are you kidding me.

y'all summoned this. my mutuals summoning my infodump demon with their summoning triangle. feeding my hyperfixation.

[sternbilder]

#yttd spoilers

ok so I talked about this briefly with @jageunyeoujari but we were discussing the possibility of either Joe or Sara being the child of the policeman from Keiji’s backstory and this theory has been living rent-free in my head as I’ve been watching this LP so here is an incoherent dump of evidence wild speculation that I’m recording for future me 

evidence that points to Mr. Policeman being Joe’s dad:

they have exactly the same vibe. like, come on.

they look kind of similar to me? they have similar looking eyes at least

assuming Keiji was around 10 when he met Mr. Policeman and he's in his late 20s now, the timeline lines up since Joe is 17 and Mr. Policeman was expecting his first child then

in the manga, one of Joe's classmates mentions that Joe’s family is struggling financially--something that would be likely if he grew up in a single parent household, which could have either happened because of Keiji’s murder of Mr. Policeman, or if Mr. Policeman had left his family after losing his job

speaking of Mr. Policeman being estranged from his family, this could actually apply to both Sara or Joe’s cases, but I actually don’t think this is too wild of a guess. first, it’s likely that Mr. Policeman’s death was only in the last 3 years, i.e., after the last AI personality update, judging from what Sara says when examining Keiji’s AI in the monitor room (he “seems different somehow,” i.e., before his traumatic accidental murder). if not dead, then IMO it’s likely that Mr. Policeman was missing for all this time. we know that Keiji had not had contact with Mr. Policeman before joining the police force from his conversation with Megumi, and he also seemed shocked to see him as the “criminal” in that incident where he ended up shooting him. from what we know of Keiji wouldn’t it make more sense that he couldn’t contact him rather than didn’t? and if this is the case, it doesn’t seem like a wild possibility that the reason he couldn’t reach him is that he had deliberately cut ties with the people he knew and tried to start a life elsewhere--after all, depending on the “official” reasons for his dismissal from the police, this could have carried social stigma, which may have caused a rift with his family, perhaps even so much that he would have had to distance himself from them?

during introductions, Joe brings up the possibility of the death game being tied to organized crime, and suggests that someone among the group could be a traitor. Keiji bursts out laughing, and this is never explained, but what if he was thinking something along the lines of "like father, like son" wrt his amateur detective-ing?

during the first discussion, Joe initially distrusts everyone, including Keiji, but is immediately more friendly to Keiji as soon as he reveals out he's a policeman. this could just be a normal response to being stuck in a hostage situation, but none of the other characters seem to have as strong of a reaction as Joe, one possible explanation for which could be that he has a personal connection to the police?

when searching for the doll parts, Joe decides to pair up with Keiji for seemingly no reason, even if Sara asks him if he wants to pair up. later, as they’re leaving the blue room, Joe stops Keiji again hoping to speak to him--what if he knew something about Keiji and was trying to suss out information? for example, what if he knew that Mr. Policeman/his dad had a connection to someone named Keiji who was hoping to be a policeman and was trying to determine if this Keiji was that same person?

later, when you talk to Joe again in the bar, Joe is suspicious of Keiji again, even wondering if he's a cop at all. he then asks Sara to look more into him. it reads as though he was trying to question Keiji about his past but Keiji wasn't opening up for some reason, which could be because Keiji doesn’t want Joe to find out about his involvement in Mr. Policeman/his dad’s death

when investigating the bar, Gin mentions his drunkard dad at one point and Joe goes uncharacteristically quiet. this might be a stretch but Keiji mentions later that Mr. Policeman had lost his job while investigating corruption inside the police force. what if Mr. Policeman/Joe's dad started drinking after losing his job as a police officer? alternatively, what if Gin’s comment made Joe sad because he also never got to be close to his own father on account of his being dead or missing?

when Keiji is investigating Mishima's body, Joe is the one who first asks Keiji if he has someone he respects. this could just be him making small talk, but it could also be that he has a hunch that he’s trying to confirm and he’s looking for opportunities to connect the dots

there’s a part during chapter 1 when investigating with Keiji where you ask him who he’s got on his mind. Keiji answers that Joe has been on his mind, but then immediately changes the subject. this could just be because Joe is suspicious of Keiji still, but I have to wonder if they have some kind of connection, after all

this isn’t actual evidence but it’s strongly implied that Keiji has been suffering from hallucinations of Mr. Policeman ever since his accidental murder (very similar to Sara’s hallucinations of Joe) and boy wouldn’t it be Sinnoh Matic Parallels if they were father and son

evidence that points to Mr. Policeman being Sara’s (biological) dad:

I mean, if Keiji knew that Mr. Policeman’s daughter was a girl around her age named Sara, then this would explain everything about why Keiji trusts Sara immediately and tries so hard to protect her at all costs,

Sara and Mr. Policeman both have orange hair, though to be fair, so does Sara's mom (who we have no reason to believe isn’t her biological mother)

we know that Mr. Chidouin isn't Sara’s real dad, but she isn’t aware of this, meaning she was either adopted, or her mother remarried when she was very young. the timeline is unclear, but it is theoretically possible that this is around the same time that Mr. Policeman had been laid off by the police, which could have been a factor for divorce, especially if, like mentioned earlier, the police coverup painted his behavior as somehow unsavory or socially unacceptable (which could also explain why her mother never told Sara). for example, say this was around 15 years ago--Keiji would have been around 12, and Sara would only have been 2 (making her very possibly too young to remember). since Megumi is the one who fired him, I can’t see how she could have been any younger than around 25 at this time, so this presumes that she’s around 40 now, but it wouldn’t be the wildest thing to assume she’s older than she looks  

we know that, for whatever reason, 1) Sara is central to the death game, 2) Mr. Chidouin is at least involved if not the mastermind, and 3) Mr. Chidouin was not Sara's biological father. this might also be a reach, but what if Sara's mother’s remarriage and Mr. Policeman’s losing his job (and/or his death) were all part of Mr. Chidouin’s plans to eventually have Sara participate in the death game? this goes along with another theory I had where I have a feeling that for some reason the winner of the Hades Incident/the author of the Memorandum (which I suspect is Mr. Chidouin) is trying to recreate that incident with, if not exact clones of the participants, people who are very close to fitting their profiles. it’s implied that the organization running the game has been at least closely monitoring, if not engineering specific events/circumstances in the lives of the participants, so it’s possible that Sara was being “groomed” for this event, specifically to play the role of leader-girl-who-died-in-the-Hades-incident. if this is the case, then it could also be true that 1) the choice of Sara to fill this role could have been deliberate, and Mr. Chidouin meddled in Mr. Policeman’s life with the intention of getting custody of Sara specifically, or 2) Mr. Chidouin just happened to be looking for a child around Sara’s age to fill the role at the time and Mr. Policeman’s dismissal made her a convenient target due to the timing

if Mr. Chidouin was part of the Hades Incident and was somehow involved in Mr. Policeman’s/Sara’s biological father’s death, this may even explain why Keiji knew about that specific case. after all, it sounds like it was something that happened decades ago, that was likely to be hushed up, or at least not talked about anymore (maybe it was even the thing Mr. Policeman was looking into and got him fired?). it is a bit out of place that Keiji would know so much about it, unless he happened to find a lead while looking into the circumstances around Mr. Policeman’s expulsion/death. maybe he somehow found a connection between Mr. Policeman’s family and the Chidouins/Hades Incident?

evidence that points to Mr. Policeman being both of their dads:

none but hey they could be twins and what Japanese mystery visual novel that has AI clones and shit doesn’t also have a plot point involving twins

[aspiestvmusings]

WandaVision Questions

SPOILERS for whole series of WandaVision

Here is a very long list of questions that the series has still not fully answered & ones that they have..kinda...answered already: 

I’ve separated the questions by Character/Topic they are referring to. 

I do not think we’ll get answers to each of these. There’s just not enough time. Even if the finale is the lenght I’m hearing it is. But several..yes. And more will be left as “cliffahangers” and expored in other/future MCU projects...

WANDA 

What or Who did Wanda see exactly during that Mind Stone experiment in Sokovia? Did she see a vision of her futrure self as Scarlett Witch? Did a past or different Scarlett Witch appear to her? Did the “vision” pass the crown on to her, choosing her as the next scarlett witch [Find the Goddess within]? Did she “absorb” the figure she saw? Did it just appear to her as a “vision” from the future or past..or a different dimension? And who exactly was it? BASICALLY ANSWERED in 1x09

Is Wanda a born witch or a born mutant? Her powers seemed to first manifest at around age 10 [10 = X = x gene]... same is happening to her Twins in the hex. This seems to suggest she was born “different”, and the mind stone just awakened & heightened her powers. 

When did Wanda go to SWORD? How much time had passed since Tony’s funeral & her talk with Hawkeye? Same/Next day or a bit/week later? 

How did Wanda know Vision’s body was there? Was the info in his “living will” or did Avengers have that info on file somewhere? Who told her this, and when? (no-one was there for her & no one went with her because they are all in “not good” state: Hawkeye & Scott are reunited with families, Hulk is healing, Old! Cap is just...old, Thor & guardians are far away, Nat & Tony are gone. Spidey & Rhodey & Wakandans didn’t know her.. And everyone’s a mess, grieving, too. So... that’s why she is alone, cause she really has lost everyone who is close to her... no one left...)

How much in control is Wanda...by now? Has it been all subconsious or does she understand what’s happening? She seemed to create the hex unintentionally, just as byproduct of her grief. And at first she does not seem to understand it’s not real. But just like Vision, she, too, seems to become more & more aware of what’s actually going on. At first she keeps saying she means no harm, but by episode 7 she is questioning if she maybe is the bad guy in the story. How aware is she by now? And will it be about acceptance & letting go (of the ones she’s lost)...as she takes the hex down? Cause this is about her going through the stages of grief... (so I have prepared to see Vision die...again... with big fireworks, I guess...just like Tony’s IM suit army did for IM3 christmas fireworks show...cause everything seems to point to this...it’s the most logical concusion to the story...even if I/we all wish there was another way...) Everything points to 3rd ep being the turning point.  The birth of the twins & losing some control of the illusion, mention of something from actual reality trigger her waking up from the dream. Cause while she first sensors the broadcast at the end of ep 2 already (No!), I’m not sure she’s yet aware of things yet. But throwing ot Monic...seeing herself do that...affects her. But she does not understand the full extent of it all til the very end...when she “feels the peoples pain”

Is there any meaning to Wanda playing with the fingers of her hand when she’s asking to be let in to see Vision’s body? Maybe it’s just a stim, but it almost looks as if she’s trying to play with a wedding/engagement ring that’s supposed to be on that finger/hand? 

Was it Wanda who edited the footage from the Mind Stone experiment Strucker did on her? Or was it the "Mind Stone”? Because that editing (rewinding time) looked very similar to the editing that’s happening during WandaVision broadcast. 

Is this about Wanda learning to use, control & understand her powers...just as much as it’s about her letting herself grieve? She needs to “access her powers (the yoghurt) or it’ll all turn to chaos...?  ANSWERED in 1x09: YES!

What exactly are Wanda’s powers & what do they mean? It almost seems like she’s a living form of all 6 infinity stones, channeling their energy inside her. During the Hex she’s demonstrated that she can also “rewind time” (time stone) - the editing. I’d say it’s easier to say what she can’t do than list everything that she can do.

Was Wanda actually already pregnant BEFORE creating the hex? Was the “for the children” chant also subconcious, like many other things/lines? And did she give birth to the kid(s) in the hex..or was that birth “not real” & she’s still expecting when the hex comes down? If she was before Hex, then that’d mean the twins can & do exists outside of it, too. Because it’s only been a few weeks since Scotland for her, so who knows...  Or maybe their origin is more magical (blipped back into the wrong womb...Wanda’s? Created by her...cause “she was all alone”) And since FFH showed us that the world did not seem to be in total chaos, instead recovering, then how & why will things change about 8 months from now...and things are “on pause” til then? Cause FFH takes place 8 months after WV. One thing that fits this timeline would be human pregnancy, and then the birth process creates chaos (I still think all the glitches during the twins birth were caused by Wanda...cause she lost control of details on the hex...for  bit...not agathas doing), and that’s why multiverse is “ripped open” only then, not now. #wildtheory OR...are both general public & Peter unaware of what really happened in Westview?

VISION

Which Vision will win the Vision vs Vision fight? Well, the show aansered this question already in episode with the line: “The death rate of single men is twice that of married men". This means Wanda’s Vision (Hex Vision) will win over Hayward’s Vision (White/Spectral Vision...Ultron). The question is how will Hex Vision “die”?. Cause as much as we’d all love for a Vision to survive, he can’t... for the show (and Wanda) to get closure. Will he die in battle or as the hex goes down? KINDA ANSWERED in 1x09: HexVision did win the “confrontation”, but he was also the one who “died”/Wanda said goodbye to as hex went down.

What happened to Vision’s body after the Wakanda Battle & Thanos’ snap? How & why did he end up at SWORD? [not stay in Wakanda, or go to Avengers/Tony? When did SWORD get a hold of the body? When Maria was still running the place...and Avengers “trusted” her or did Hayward somehow pull some strings after her death? Is this related to Sokovia accord, and based on them the body/vibranium belonged to the government? Cause it sounds like they had him before Tony’s death 3 weeks ago? And Hayward used that trust put on SWORD, when he got promoted & turned things around, including starting project “Cataract”] Seems like he had been there ever since the Snap, but was safe until Hayward took over. Cause no way he had time to complete the project in just few weeks since Tony’s death. So...  someone trusted SWORD at some point...before the shady Hayward took over...without anyone suspecting anything. 

How exactly is Hex Vision “alive”? Is it just Wanda’s magic...is she powering him through herself/her magic? Is it cause of the Mind Stone she “created” for him? We knew from ep 2 already that this Vision is not real real. Their stage names confirmed it - he was “Illusion”, and their act was a magic trick cause the whole hex thing was a “magic trick”. And if you reverse the roles, then this line from ep 2 tell you what Wanda did...when she broke down:  “Fear not, Glamour, for I, Illusion, wow to bring you back exactly as you are.” She brought him back (looking like) exactly as he was...even if his past memories are missing.  KINDA ANSWERED in 1x09

How real is Hex Vision? Seems he is connected to the Hex & cannot exist outside it, but it also seems that he is very real inside the hex...made of vibranium, and able to feel & connect (even if he has no memories of life before hex), and evolve, and use powers. And though Wanda wanted & tried to control him (and the kids), she doesn’t seem to be able to do so. Vision 2.0 seems to have his own “sense of self”, & free will. He seems to exist (within the hex) outside of Wanda & think/decide for himself. He’s not her puppet that she can control (like everyone else is). 

Will Hex Vision 2.0 be able to survive outside the Hex in some way & form? [eg. merging with White Vision] If they will merge the Hex Vision & the White Vision, then will he be complete [if Shuri’s downloaded data will be added] or will he remain an emty shell, rebooted & loses all his memories & humanity? Would they do a repat of the Gamora plot with Vision, where a character will have to re-learn everything to become the charcter they had become & re-create the connections she/he had already formed? Or will he die/sacrifice himself...for others...again? (especially cause this is all about Wanda having to accept her loss & grieve... for real...so in many ways he has to be dead/die...for that to fit the shows main theme)  BASICALLY ANSWERED in 1x09

Will Hex Vision live [at the end of WV]? The shows theme (Wanda needing to grieve her losses), and the FFH tribute to fallen Avengers seems to suggest that Vision has to & will die again/not survive the hex (but Cap was also listed as one of the fallen, so... who knows?). But they can still explore all those themes if he continues to exist, because Wanda has still not properly grieved her parents & brother. And since they have brought up the fact that he is a synthezoid (not regula human), and talked about being a combination of “AI” & physical body, then the idea of the two being separated & re-connected has been introduced. Based on what we know - Vision’s character traits, Wanda’s grief journey...we should expect him to sacrifice himself again...for others/to save her/others. It’s just who he is. Just like one of his sources, Tony. The only question is if he’ll survive despite trying to sacrifice himself for others to live, or not?

If VISION survives, then what form will he be/take? Will it be the White Vision (emotionless empty shell), the Hex Vision (without past memories, but otherwise same as he was before), comnibation of both when they merge (giving us the original Vision back)? Or some other form? I mean...Paul Bettany started as the voice of Tony’s AI, then he transformed into Vision, so maybe he can change “form” again? Vision has already, kinda, “died” three times... 1) by Wanda’s hands in IW, 2) by Thanos ripping out the MindStone & 3) when exiting the Hex in ep 6. And before all this, they were preparing to separate him from the stone, because MCU Vision can survive without the stone...even if he might lose some parts of himself without it... Shuri just didn’t have enough time to complete the task... (but there should be enough that there is a chance to bring him back in the future og MCU, I’d say...)

Did Wanda create both the vibranium & The Mind stone for the Hex Vision? How? Is Agatha correct & she is capable of spontaneous creation (Nexus Being)? Based on current evidence this seems to be the truth. 

Is that a real Mind Stone on Vision 2.0′s head? If so, then how & from what did Wanda create it? Or is that just a fake jewelry decoration on his forehead? We saw that an object looking like Mind Stone was the last piece she “created” when she created Hex Vision...you can see it “fly” towards the just-formed-vision, but what is it really? Did she create it...from nothing, from the “atoms” it had become? Did she “take” it from another universe? 

How & why can Hex Vision set others free of Wanda’s hex spell? Is it Wanda’s powers that were transferred to the new creation? Is it the Mind Stone? 

How & Why does hex Vision seem to have Pietro’s “quicksilver” superspeed ability? [my take: Wanda, in her greif, gave her new Vision 2.0 both her Vision’s & her brothers abilities, cause she was still grieving them both, so subconsiously she did that..or The Vision always had that ability and I/he was just not aware of it/never used it before] 

Did going through the Hex barrier change Vision 2.0, too? (like it did with Monica?) Does it affect everyone & everything that enters/exits? Did it change something within this Vision? Or did it not affect him in any such way..cause hes made of vibranium?

When did Vision buy that propery for them? Seems that he did before the events of IW. It fits his lines “what if I don’t go back”...And based on the state of the property it seems like the construction of their house/home had started before the Snap (foundation laid), but then everything was abandoned...

Does Hex Vision sleep? Cause The Vision is/was a synthezoid, so he should not need to sleep, but does he close his eyes & “kind of sleep” & does Hex Vision do the same? Because he seems to miss all the decade changes between the episodes on WV. He “wakes up” only to see that Wanda has changed things...again... In otehr words...how does he miss the moment when they move from one decade to the next? PS. The Vision doesn’t eat food, doesn’t need to sleep, don’t grow old like humans..etc..but for Wanda he cooks, “sleeps” next to her, buys a house to grow old in... #feelyourfeels

What is up with Hex Vision’s eyes? Is it just my imagination or have they changed, a bit? In some scenes they looked more “human” & less “robotic”? PS. They re-create Paul’s eyes in MCU, making them machine-like. Did they just miss doing that for some scenes on accident? Or was it changed on purpose? Or did it just seem so to me?

What was the meaning of the Dead!Vision vision that Wanda saw in ep 4? Was it just one of the ways Agatha was messing up things..trying to make Wanda “wake up” and deal with her greif? Was it Wanda losing control of the hex dream for a moment & being reminded that her “original” Vision is actually still dead...and looks like that? The Dead!Vision & Dead!Pietro moments reminded me a lot of Dead!IM/Tony moment from FFH, where Peter sees him “raise from the grave” It’s all Mysterio’s illusion, based on a script written by one of his team, but it works cause Peter is grieving his mentor, so it “feels real” to him. 

CATARACT VISION

What is the purpose of White Vision? Who/What is he/it? Ultron? White/Sooulless machine? Does he have Wanda’s Vision’s memories & all? Why was White Vision looking at his left hand, when he was rebooted [Ultron? Vision..looking for a wedding ring and/or lookig if his hand is still there cause he saw its pieces being pulled back to the hex?]  ANSWERED in 1x09

What exactly was Hayward’s/SWORD’s plan with Vision’s body? Just to rebuild & reboot him into a weapon? [that goes against the Sokovia accords & Visions living will]

Why & How is Tony’s (new element) triangular arc reactor now on White Vision’s hear in place of the Mind Stone? How did Hayward get a a hold of that?

What does it mean that the White Vision, after being powered up (rebooted) & opening his eyes first looked at his left hand? Is this supposed to be a reference to Ultron (AoU)...and he was checking out his new perfect form (Utron los his arm in AoU, so was he surprised his new body had it)? Was it Vision looking for a wedding ring (do the different Visions share data automatically & hence share memories?) or checking if his hand is still intact (not flown back to the hex as he stayed outside?)

What is “Project Cataract”? Well...cataract is an eye “disease”, which causes the eye to be look white/gray & it can cause double vision. So the name is very fitting. Hayward’s “vision” is the double, and he is white like cataract...  

Is the White Vision we see in ep 8 mid-credits scene the same Vision that we see in parts in the ep 8 flashback scene? Who is working at SWORD with Hayward? How did they manage to put him back together, add the “arc reactor” to his head & do a paint job...all within a week? Cause it’s been a week since they gave Wanda the show with the parts on the tables. Or is this a copy? Their fist copy version of him? [in a real magic trick everything is fake]  ANSWERED in 1x09

THE TWINS [Billy & Tommy] 

Are the Twins real? Who & How created them? [did they come to be through procreation and are Wanda & Vision’s offspring..somehow, or were they created in some other, more magical way? From what? When & How] AKA did they follow the comics canon or change it (how much?)?

Will the Twins survive the Hex? Can they exist outside the hex? Does it depend on whether they were created inside the hex or outside/before..or not?

Who aged up the Twins? Was it the Twins (Speed?) Based on Agnes’ comments that she & Wanda cannot control (these) kids, seems it wasn’t them. Seems it was the Twins, who did it? But did they cause the speedy pregnancy, too? Or was that..some other force?

How exactly was Billy able to hear both his dad/Vision 2.0 & Hayward (others) in episode 6, when he was inside the Hex & they were outside the Hex? What does it mean that his power extends to outside the hex, too?

Where were the Twins in episode 7? Where did Agnes hide/keep them? During those few minutes before we wee then again...”on the leash”

Will the Twins age themselves up again before the end of the series? To help their parents in the battle against the baddies? Or at the end (post credits scene, for example]?  ANSWERED in 1x09

  THE HEX 

Why television broadcast & why WandaVision? Well It’s literally Wanda’s TELEVision we’re watching. Televised Vision. #endlesswordplay 

Why hexagon(s)? Just because it’s a recurring shape in nature, etc? Or is it a reference to bees...beekeeper...Hive? Cause there is something called The Hive in MCU... And hexes & hexagons also appear in MCU a lot & the number 6 is important: Portals during space travel, inside Visions body... Also..there was 6 original Avengers & 6 infinity stones, Visions body taken into 6 parts for the show Hayward puts on for Wanda... 

How & why was the WandaVision TV show broadcast from the Hex? Seems that it was Wanda who created the hex...”unintentionally”...from her grief, and broadcast the show, but why? Or did someone else broadcast it? Why did she/someone want the outsiders to see what was happening inside?

Who created the commercials? Are they part of Wanda’s sitcom & created by her, subconciously? Or are they created by someone else? Vision (TeleVision). Or someone/something else?  Maybe the “light in the sky” news in Westview newspaper that Vision ead in one scene isn’t a reference to the SWORD camp. Maybe there is someone else there, too? Maybe this answers our question about how Dr. Strange has not yet sensed it & arrived there? Maybe these are hidden messages sent by someone else...to Wanda...to make her wake up from her dream? And they could even be changed by the hex into commercials insted of their original form? Or were they subconcious narating the story to her?

Who is pulling the strings? Is it all Wanda (Hex) & Agatha (messing things up)? Or is there more to it & someone/something else in involved in all of it? If so then who? 

Why was the town in “ruins” & the people all so “sad” & “alone” when Wanda arrived there? Is it only because of the Snap/Blip & the town had turned this way during those 5 years, or is there more? It’s definitely cause of Snap & Blip, but I do wonder if there is more to it than just that?

Why did we only see one half of each couple as Wanda drove through the city...even if SWORD identified many of them as couples (and they’ve said couples were kept together in the hex) because it seems that one person from each couple has an “accident” during the sitcom: Vision has the “gum” issue in ep 2, Mr. Hart chokes in ep 1, Dottie breaks a glass and bleeds in ep 2...?, Are some of the other sitcom characters actually dead? (and Wanda brought everyones partner back...just like she did with her own?) But then...how & why did SWORD identify several of the couples & no-one mentioned some of them being dead? Or... are the databases incomplete because of the Snap/Blip mess (we know from FFH some people used the Snap to run & hide (start a new life elsewhere)... who weren’t actually blipped...so maybe not all dead/blipped have been reported?) The lesson might be that though the people, like her, were sad & mourning, then “you should not bring back dead”, because they had already mourned them... whether their oved ones were gone gone or just blipped gone... 

Does the hex cause mutations to everyone who go through it several times? Or just people with certain X gene? Or just people, who were Blipped? [If everyone who goes through the hex gets their cells re-written, then that also includes Vision = 1x, Darcy = 1x, SWORD clowns = 1x, Beekeeper = 1x... so did they get a mutation, too?] Will all the people inside the hex get powers once the hex goes down?

Why did the “hex breached” alarms go off at just before Fietro appeared at Wanda & Visions doorstep in episode 5? Why did they go off? Who entered or exited the hex at that time? Or...was it the same alarm that was still on because Wanda exited & entered the hex? Cause we see them enter the tent after the encounter..so perhaps it was just moments ago, while a shole scene had hapened during that time in the WV freality. 

Is the purpose of the Hex just to keep Visin 2.0 alive & keep the happy dream alive OR is the purpose also to keep others outside? To protect that reality from Hayward (who wants to take him to pieces & weaponize him)? Cause in some ways this invisible energy field looks a bit similar to the dome surrounding & protecting Wakanda from outsiders. 

What will happen to Wanda, Hex!Vision, The Twins, Monica, Fietro, Agatha, the people of WestView...when the hex goes down? 

AGNES/AGATHA 

When exactly did Agatha arrive to the hex? At the moment we first saw her land putside Wanda & Visions house with that plant in episode 1? Or sooner..and she was just staying away til then?

What is Agatha’s plan? What does she want? She seems to be at awe of Wanda’s powers/creation & she also seems to be grieving, too. And she seems to want to bring someone back to life...it seems. [Ralph? Her kid(s)...cause it’s all for the children? The person for whom/because of whom she used the darkest of magic in 1693? Turn the rabbit back to the person it was before?] She sounded so hopeful when the twins told Wanda she can bring back the dead. 

Why did Agatha use the darkest of magic in 1693? What did she want to do? (was she trying to bring someone back to life? Her “soulmate”, her kid?)

Why does Agatha feed on Wandas magic? Is it just a way for her to stay alive/young? Does she need to “snak on yo magic” to survive? Or does she need others magic to remain magical herself and/or to become more powerful?  Has she learned to control her powers over time, cause in 1693 she claimed she could not yet. And she just seems to be impressed by Wanda’s powers & a bit jeaous that it’s taken her 400 years to learn simple spells, while Wanda can just randomly use hers...without even trying. 

Why & How do none of the townspeople seem to questions Agnes...if she’s a stranger, an outsider? Seems they’re comptletely under Wanda’s control, hence don’t break character & acknowledge they do not know her?

How did Agatha get into the hex? How was she able to get in? By using magic? Some other way? How did she sneak in without Wanda noticing, and chaning her, and taking control of her? How & why did Wanda not sense her arrival if she’s an outsider? If she arrived after Wanda set up the hex, then how soon after? Did she arrive before or after SWORD had set up camp outside the hex? (we first see her after the camp is up & watching the tv show, but she might’ve been inside for longer)

Who is her mother-in-law that she mentions in episode 1 as she arrives? Just a line of  or is there significance?

Who is Agatha working with/for? SWORD/Hayward? Some secret master/partner [Ralph?]? 

Whose house is Agatha living in? If she really did arrive only after sensing Wanda’s magic, and coming to the hex after it was created then who is/was Wanda’s real neighbour & what happened to them? Or did the house just happen to be empty? KINDA ANSWERED in 1x09

Is Agatha’s basement inside or outside the Hex? The aspect ratio seemed to change as Wanda went from her house to her basement...making it seem like its outside the hex, but is it? 

If Agatha arrived to this place just a week ago, then what’s up with that basement? How can Agatha’s secret LAIR in the basement exist “inside the hex”? If Agatha arrived after the hex was cerated then how & why wasn’t this basement transformed by hex creation? How was it set up - did it come with the house or did Agatha add it? And how is it unaffected by Wanda’s hex? If its outside hex (as the change in aspect ratio suggests), the how is that possible? Who created it/set it free of Wanda’s hex? Is it in another dimension or ? We’ve seen that enhanced indivuduals can use their powers inside Wanda’s hex, and she does not seem to be aware of everything going on. So...did Agatha use her magic & create the LAIR inside the hex during the days of the sitcom? 

What are the runes in the basement about? Yes, their purpose is to “protect” the space from other witches using their magic in that space, but why hexes and why these symbols...what do they mean? And did she add them in past few days or have they always been there? ETA: Oh, they’re not so much physical objects, and more like “drawing on the wall”

What is that book in the basement? (several options) The book in the basement could be one of several important books from the comics or MCU. But when hexagons are involved, and with the kowledge that “Wanda” will appear in the new Dr. Strange film, then while I do not know what book it is, it’s most likely the one missing from the wall of books inside hexagons in Dr. Strange film. ANSWERED in 1x09

How did the book get there? If Agatha brought it with her when she arrived then how & why did it not change when she entered the hex? If it was already there then whsoe is it & what does it mean? How is it there? 

Why does Wanda keep calling Agnes “a life saver”? Did she save her life/Does she think she saved her life & it’s her subconcious remembering it? Will she save her life & it was foreshadowing? 

Were all the “naughty” references about Agatha just about the coming reveal that “it was Agatha all along...who kept messing up everything”?  (Wanda called her naughty in ep 1 already, she wore pants with the word “naughty” on them in ep 6...)

Is Agnes the Villain, the Friend-in-disguise or the Neutral (therapist, guide)? Is she messing with Wanda just because she admires her & wants to learn from her (her own mom would not teach/guide her...how to control her powers)? Does she want to “feed on her magic” (to get more powerful herself)? Does she need her to help help/teach her to bring someone back to life? Is her plan to just get what she wants or to help Wanda while learning from her? Cause at first she seems to do everything she can to see what Wanda & Vision can do (show their powers). And she seems to want to kind of guide her...to help her “grieve”, to get her to “wake up” from the hex dream... but not necessarily in a  villain way...

Why is Agnes’ magic purple? Is there a connection to Power Stone? And why are her magic tricks similar to some other MCU characters (Dr. Strange, Ancient one)? Agatha taking a piece of Wandas hair (as Strange did with Thor)? The purple “portal” door to Wanda’s past memories... kinda like Strange’s portals...to other place/time... Is it just about using similar CGI or is there a connection?

What is the significance of the broach Agnes/Agatha wears all the time? The one she took from her dead mothers body. 

Why does Agatha leave the protected basement area right after she realizes who Wanda really is? She’s just found out just how powerful Wanda is, so why let her outside, where Wanda can use her powers (against her)? She should know that she has no chance against her, right? ANSWERED in 1x09

Is Agatha sincerely moved by the WandaVision moment & Vision’s quote on grief? She sheds a single tear & wipes it away. But Wanda doesn’t see her do it/is not looking at her, so this seems to be real...she seems to be genuily moved by it all,  not mocking the “scene”. 

RALPH 

Where is Ralph? Who is Ralph? Agatha keeps mentioning him...constantly, but we’ve never seen him? And no-one seems to question it...Wanda & Vision never wondered why they never saw Ralph. Does he even exist? Did Agnes/Agatha just make himup...for Wanda’s sitcom? ANSWERED in 1x09

Is this just misdirection? is this simply about the old tv/sitcom trope where a character is mentioned all the time, but never seen? If there no other “mystery” to Ralph? Or does he exist? If so...is he one of the characters weve already seen? (the rabbit, the mailman, Hayward)

THE RABBIT (SENOR SCRATCHY)

What is up with that rabbit? Who or what is it? Agatha’s son, Nichols Scratch? Or her sons old man, Senior Scratch aka her husband? Or is it a reference to “Devil” aka old scratch (hex = 6 = 666)? That does not seem to be your usual pet rabbit, because it eats bugs/birds, and it purrs. That seems to be a cat in disguise...if not something else. And Agatha talks to it, too (though people do love to talk to their pets, so maybe that part’s not important) But this is definitely not just a pet bunny. Yet...I dont know if this is Mephisto, or some other villain. Or if it’s Wong/Strange in disguise or something?

FIETRO 

Who exactly is this Pietro in the Hex? And where did he come from? Did Agatha “bring” him in from somewhere or did she just take a hold of some guy? Did she create him? Is he a Pietro from another universe? Is he just a random guy? He seems to have the superpowers Quicksilver has, but he looks different than Pietro (buried in Sokovia...with their parents, and Agatha can’t raise the dead or puppet bodies full of bulletholes, so she is just controlling some other dude) But we’ve known somethings off with him since start...even Wanda & Vision both are suspicious about the guy...since start.

Is Fietro under Agatha’s control when he sneaks up to Monica at the end of episode 7 #snoopersgonnasnoop or just snooping around on his own? Does Agatha use him as her eyes & ears at that moment AKA does she know Monica was snooping around? Or was she too busy with playing Wanda’s therapist to deal with him/other stuff?

Who brought Fietro there? Was he just another person living in WestView that Agatha controlled to get the truth out of Wanda? Did he come from outside the hex & then be taken over by Agatha? Did Wanda somehow, subconciously, bring him there/creaate him, before Agatha took over his senses? Cause we’ve seen that a lot of the things that tappen in WV are coming from Wanda’s subconcious. After she thinks of something and/or hears someone mention an idea, it becomes true. It’s like she uses the ideas she & others have to subconciuouly write the script of the next scene/ episode?

What’s the significance of Fietro’s necklace? ANSWERED in 1x09

Why did they coin the term Fietro officially on the show? I’m not into comics & I don’t care that much about merging the two (fox + marvel) universes, so it doesnt matter to me if he is the FOX universe version. But...the term Fietro can be coined from both Fake + Pietro & Fox + Pietro, so it makes me suspicious... on a show that does very little without a “hidden meaning”

DOTTIE 

What’s the deal with Dottie? Who is she - just another neighbour (like “mailman” or more?) Was Agnes’ claim that she’s the key just part of her messing tactic or is there meaning in the claim?

Is there a significance to Dotties roses being yellow (while Wanda’s flowers are red & pink & Agathas are purple...in ep 7)? 

Who is Dottie in reality? She seems to be one of the few “recurring cast members” from the WV show that Darcy & team watched who is not identified yet. How & why is she not identified yet? (is she Peter’s teachers wife...who pulled a disappearing act & made everyone think she was blipped, when she had just run off with someone else...so hence not identified yet?)

MAILMAN

Who is the mailman & whats up with him? Ep 8 seemed to answer that. He seems to be just a delivery guy... Or is he? Could he be also something more/else? Is he just one of Agnes’ eyes&ears (messengers) and hence the uniforms logo with rabbit in ep 7? Is he the “missing person”?

HAYWARD 

What’s up with Hayward? Is he just another government baddie or is there more to it? His motivation seems to be that he hates “superpowered individuals” & wants to create and use sentient weapons [he’s gotten access to Tony’s arc reactor element & Vision’s body somehow] against them. He clearly set up the whole show for some purpose... for Wanda...

Does Hayward know more than he shows? Was he just asking about Wanda’s “superhero nickname” or was he aware of SW? If so..how? And how did he know she has the power to bring Visions body back to life? Did he just hope so (and was disappointed she didn’t try when she let her see him..in that condition), cause he’s heard she is very powerful, or does he know...stuff?

Will the WhiteVision kill him aka not be controlled by his master, or will Hayward live? Cause if we take away Tony, Bruce, Jarvis, Mind Stone & everything else, then all that’s left in that lab vision is Ultron. And I'm not sure Hayward & his team can actually control him for long...he’s gonna turn on his “creators” possibly. 

What  was Hayward actually tracking inside the hex? It says “vibranium decay” on the screen next to the dot, and based on that  Darcy & others conclude that he’s tracking Vision (cause they think Wanda took Visions body), but is that true? Because of the dots location on the map & the fact that it is moving, it can only be tracking Hex Vision or Agnes/Agatha. But how? Is he actually tracking the vibranium Wanda created? Or the Mind Stone Wanda created? Or something else related to Hex Vision? Or Agatha? ANSWERED in 1x09

BEEKEEPER

What happened to the [SWORD agent turned into a] Beekeeper? Where did he go to? What happened to him? Why haven’t we seen or heard of him again? Not from Wanda, not from outsiders? Is he stuck somewhere inside the hex or was he “sent out” just like Monica was ep 3? 

THE DOG

Where did the dog come from that the twins “adopted” in ep 3? Was it Agatha’s doing, or not? If that was Agatha messing with things then since she cannot create things, she can just transform things, then what was the dog before (her rabbit?) Did Wanda somehow create it...”unknowingly”?

How exactly did the dog die? Did Agatha kill it because the dog was digging up something/someone in her yard? Did it actually accidentally eat the poisonous plant? Did she kill it to test Wanda’s power...to see if she can really bring back people from dead... Is it even dead? Cause while it seems Vision did bury the dog, then perhaps it was not a  real dog at all, but just transformed into a dog by Agatha (but then...would  it not turn back to its original form after it died? No?)?

THE MISSING PERSON 

Who is the missing person, who was/is in the witness program? Jimmy said it’s a “he”,  but perhaps that was a misdirection. Is there even a missing person or was that just a made up story (by Hayward? by someone else)...just to have a reason to set up camp next to the hex? Was the missing person "Wanda”, was it “Hex Vision” (did Hayward somehow get info that there is a “Vision” there?) Is it the person who lived in the hosue Agatha resides? Is it Ralph? Is it Wanda’s father (he survived, but it was secret? Is it someone from the MCU past (Justin Hammer from IM2; Sonny Butrch from Ant-Man? Trevor Slattery from IM3 (since we are living inside a tv show & everyone was playing roles in Wanda’s sitcom & Shakespeare was quoted; MCU Pietro...who actualy survived?)? Is it Agnes...who is actually working for SWORD and was sent in to investigate the hex, but when not returned, was named “missing”?

Why has Jimmy not mentioned him again...for days? If he’d been one of the townspeople who have been seen & identified [info sheets on the board], we’d probably heard of it, so we have to assume it’s none of the ones who are seen on the board. Or... the opposite...he has not mentioned it again, because it IS one of the identified people. He’s not mentioned it again cause he knows theyre alive & “safe”? 

Who it is definitely not? Since the events of FFH take place 8 months AFTER this WV event, then this cannot be Peter Parker & his friends, cause while he would have reason to be in witness protection after those events, they’ve not happened yet... And though this would be THE biggest shock & Mark Hamill level cameo, then since RDJ is done with MCU/Tony/IM & as much as it would be awesome, then I doubt it’s Tony, cause that sadly would make the endgame events “less meaningful” (he had to safrifice himself...otherwise the impact would not have been as strong)

MONICA 

Why exactly did Monica get powers when going through the hex? Is it because she has the X-gene? Is it cause she was blipped? Or does it happen to everyone who goes throgh the hex...several times? (or just those, who have the X gene & the hex just activates it or something)

Why exactly did Monica’s eyes turn to purple, when she opened Agatha’s cellar door/when Fietro caught her snooping? Was it cause she was put under Agathas spell? Or does it have to do with her newly activated power and it’s just her “seeing wavelenghts”? 

Why can Monica connect with Wanda & not see her as the “villain”? Because these two actually have a lot of common at that moment/time. That’s probably why she wants to help her, not attack her (even if she did not like being “mind controlled”) They both lost their loved one…twice. Wanda lost Vision twice, and then she was snapped away....only to return to Endgame battle (Tony’s funeral) and seeing Vision dismantled... Monica almost lost her mom, but then things seemed to get better…only for her to wake up from the Blip to find out she lost her mom (again). So both of these ladies have lost the last 5 years, and both lost their loved one “twice”. They both are kind of depressed, have PTSD, are grieving, don’t want to go on…both dealing with it on their own way...

WHO IS MONICA’S ENGINEER FRIEND? 

Was the lady she met the contact person or was she just the messenger? Cause Monica seemed to imply it’s a “he”, so perhaps we have not met her engineer friend yet? Is that lady just a military messanger or is she possibly a skrull (Talos daughter, the one Monica connected with as a kid?)

Will the engineer friend appear in WV or will he show up only in next MCU projects? Is he important or was there no deeper meaning there and/or was the skrull friend that contact/engineer?

WHERE ARE AVENGERS?

Where is Dr. Strange? Why hasn’t he (seemingly) arrived to WV yet? If Agatha could sense the Hex (the many spells cast all at once by Wanda) & that attracted her to this place... then how & why has Dr. Strange not sensed it? And how or why had he not arrived there yet...if he had sensed it? The others are all busy/not available, healing, not in a good place themselves... But Strange & co will most likely show up during the Finale/ep 9. OR NOT.

OTHER QUESTIONS: 

IF & how are skrulls involved? Meaningful or misdirection? I think they are involved..in a small way...

Why “all for the children”? Was that all Agatha’s doing, or was someone else behind that message? Was it actually Wanda’s doing...another subconcius things? (is it cause Wanda had been thinking of kids? Is it cause Agatha has lost a kid or something? Is it cause Wanda is actually pregnant?) Because the Harts brought up the topic during ep 1 dinner already before things hated up in ep 2. And almost everything in Wanda’s sitcom scripts is coming from her subconcious - they’re adapted from the events of her life & things other characters mention within the WV show... her subconcious makes random lines come true in next scenes/episode.  ANSWERED...KINDA in 1x09

Where were all the children in earlier episodes? Were they just inside, in their beds, like Fietro suggested (through Agatha), or is there more to this? And where did they all just appear in epsiode 6 (cause we’ve seen lots of them around lately...among other “background cast” just doing their everyday things...).  ANSWERED in 1x09

Who is the missing kid on the milk carton? Just random kid or is it the actual missing person Jimmy was looking for? Is it Agatha’s kid or someone elses kid?  

Why has SNAP being mentioned several times on the show? Spoken, in written (signs)? Agnes used the word “snap” in a sentence in ep 1, the cereal in ep 6 was called Sugar Snaps. One of the billboards had the word snap on it after Wanda created the hex. Agatha snapped her fingers as she dissapeared from the audience seats after the illusion came down in ep 8... Are all the SNAP references about Wanda snapping (“going crazy”) or a reference to the (Thanos) Snap? Or both?

What are all the metions of “NIGHTMARE” (and bad dreams) about? Misdirection or subtle hints at Nightmare being behind this/introduced to MCU? Whose dream is this (all)? 

What is up with mentions of “mischief” & “shenanigans” in the epsiodes. Just random or more meaningful actually? I personally do not think that this means Loki is invlved or coming, but...never say never. 

What’s up with Ultron being mentioned several times already? Meaningful or misdirection? Is the White Vision gonna be voiced by the man, who voiced Ultron (J.S.)? Is White Vision gonna be Ultron (will other parts that made Vision Vision be gone, and only Ultron remain)? Or will the emoty shell turn into Ultron while entering the hex, because the hex changes non-living objects into a more era-appropriate forms (and not so long ago that body was supposed to be Ultron’s vessel) Is Ultron somehow behind this/part of Haywards plan? 

What do the dates on the calendar mean? Is there any significance to the dates? Are they just Inside jokes (like one licence plate being Stan Lee’s birth date), or is there a meaning behind them? In ep 1 the heart is drawn on the date Wednesday, August 23rd. In the opening credits of episode 7 the heart is drawn on Friday the 10th (no month visible). The events of WV are supposed to take place in 2023....though for Wanda it may still feel like five years sooner in 2018... We do know that there is a Wed, Aug 23rd in 2023 & there are three Friday the 10th in 2023: Feb, March, Nov. But why these dates/numbers? Is it a significant date for Wanda an/or Vision? Did they secretly get engaged? (I’d say that I don’t think they were married, but perhaps they had set a wedding date or something? Cause they seemed pretty serious just at the start of IW) Or is it about a secret 10th episode? (Cause the nexus meds had 10.3%, so it might not be random...nothing seems to be on this show...though I’d sy the 10th episode is the “making of” special, nothing more...) Or just random numbers & only the heart had meaning?

What is the meaning of the colour of the flowers in the gardens in ep 7? Wanda’s are red & pink. Agnes’ are purple. Dottie’s (roses) are yellow. We know that first two match the colour of their power. What about the third one? Is she a “witch”, too?

Who “froze” those people in the outskirts of the town, close to hex in episode 6? Wanda (who can’t keep the simulation running smootly, everywhere), or Agatha (to make Vision want to find answers even more)? It does seem like this is all Wanda’s doing...meaning she doesn’t have enough power to keep everything inside the hex running smoothly at the same time, so the characters closer to the edge are more like actual puppets...barely moving.

How do Monica, Jimmy & Darcy know so much about the events of Avengers 3-4? Sure, they work for government, are not completely random citizens, but they seem to have watched the events like from a  video feed or something, cause they seem to know a lot about the details that went on… just mere weeks after the events. How?

How long had the hex been up before Jimmy & Monica arrived & Monica got  sucked in? How long before SWORD arrived & Darcy discovered the broadcast? Hours? Days? What happened in the hex before the show started broadcasting? Because after creating it we see Vision welcome her home & they watch TV, but teh show starts with them driving to WV...before entering their new home, so...did the show start only “the next day”?

Was the “hex has been breached” alarm going off at the end of episode 3 about Pietro arriving to the Hex (meaning he came from outside) or did someone enter/exit the hex & we’ve not been made aware of the person just yet?

Why were Wanda, Pietro & her parents all practicing/learning English? Did the family have a plan to escape to “west”? A view to the west? Or did the parents know more than we’ve led to believe so far, and they were slowly training their kids for their future? Were they actually “adopted”? Did they learn it for some other reason? My best guess is that they were planning to flee to west (US or somewhere)

Why did the family not flee from the war-zone? Her mother saw what was going on outside, but instead she/they used escapism...denial...and watched sitcoms...to distract themselves from the horrors of reality outside. OR were they just “giving up”, cause “there was no escaping...from that place”? And how & where was the dad sellling those dvd-s, when there is literal war (combat) right outside their home? Another example of trauma causing memories to be “tweaked”?

What was up with the secret “safe” in the wall, behind the rug on the wall in their Sokovin apartment? Wanda’s dad kept her fave thing/dvd set in there? Special place..for safekeeping. Is there more to that? “I put it in the special place. For extra safekeeping.” Is this a reference to some object Wanda (or someone close to her, like Vision) had hidden somewhere...to protect it?

What’s in the box? Which box are we talking about? The “mystery of cabinets” box? The red Nike shoe box in the secret hiding place in Wanda’s Sokovian home? The boxes the “mailman” is deloivering in ep 7? Some other box (maybe the envelope was not the only thing Vision let her/among his things that she now has)?

Where was/is the CMBR that Darcy detected from the hex coming from? Is it Wanda? Is it the Mind Stone she created? Is it something or someone else? Had it always been there in WestView or did the Hex event somehow create it? Where is it coming from? What gives off so much of it in there? Is it Wanda’s Chaos magic? Is it the “secret villain” behind Agatha?

Which way did the police car drive after Jimmy & Monica finished questioning them in ep 4? Towards the town (and into the hex) or turned around & drove away from the town & hex?

Why is JImmy's car parked by the roadside right next to the edge of the hex when she & Monica first meet outside WV? And its nose pointed away from the town, not towards the town? Because this has to be Jimmy's (rental) car, not some random abandoned vehicle. How & why did he get so close to the hex & parked his car there? And why is it pointed in the direction away from the town? What is up with the car on the roadside? (seems he was heading towards the twon, but turned around before hex & parked car right there?)

Who is the secret big cameo the cast has been teasing? Is it Paul Bettany AKA one of the best jokes (that he’s acting against himself... playing two roles at once...Hex Vision & White Vision...) Or is there an actual, different cameo happening besides this? Cause we know that Vision VS Vision is happening. Even if there is an actual cameo, I’m just gonna pretend he was talking about Vision Vs Vision, because this is the kind of cheeky british humour that I love. Cameo ideas: a character from one of her favourite sitcom steps from TV into reality DvD?, “Nick Fury”? RDJ as Tony?, Stan Lee? “Dr. Strange”? “Wolverine”? a big name actor as a character from comics...introduced to MCU? For me “Skywalker” level cameo indicates...not (just) a big name actor, but... lots of CGI, so...  ANSWERED in 1x09

THE QUESTIONS THAT HAVE BEEN ANSWERED: 

Why Westview, NJ? No, its not because it’s relatively close to the Avengers “headquarters” (and the set of the Endgame battle) or relatively  close is it to the site where the military base was (where Cap & Tony went during time heist)...all in NJ? It’s because this was supposed to be their home. This is where Vision wanted them to settle down & grow old in. Also.. WestView = WV & wesTView = TV

Why sitcoms? Because sitcoms have been Wanda’s escape since childhood. She watched them in Sokovia with her parents & brother (family), she watched them in US/Avengers HQ (with her to-be-family, Vision). Her distraction from the horrorrs & sadness of reality. Also..because unlike in real world in the sitcom world people getting hurt (when something fall of them) don’t actually get hurt, because..it’s not that kid of a “world”....

Why different eras of sitcoms? Because...Vision wanted them to grow old together. Live a life together. She is literally living through the plan Vision had for them. Settle down in WestView, and live a “normal life” together... That’s why she did not remain stuck in her one favourite Dick can Dyke episode, but instead moved to the next decade...the next phase of their lives together: move to WV, build/buy a home together, get married, watch TV together, have kids, raise kids... go through ps & downs of marriage/relationship,...grow old together... [only her fantasy world started to crumble half-way through] Though...if we think about it... to their knowledge Wanda was human & Vision was a “machine”, so he would not age like she does, so he would have probably just “deactivated” himself after she died in a 100 years...

What made Wanda do this...even if unintentionally? Her greif...over her parents, her brother, Vision, & everyone else she’s lost... the “missing five years”: seeing Hayward dismantle Vision’s body... and seeing the aftermath of the Snap & Blip as she drove through this town. She seemed to see herself in the state of that town & those people...as she drove through WV and saw the future cast of her sitcom. The world for WV had been turned upside down, and in her grief she created the happy place for herself and the people she saw. Her intentions were good/not evil....she thought that this would cheer her & this town up. She “restored” WV to it’s pre-snap glory (the abandoned pool turns into nice one at Dottie’s backyard...), and gave everyone a purpose (job, tasks) or someone to be with. Sitcoms made her feel better, so she thought it’d happen for her & the others in this fake world, too. It was all unintentional & subconcoius, and as she keeps saying “she did not mean any harm”. Initially she didn’t even realize what she’d done, but slowly she has started to “wake up” & realize the situation (that’s why lately she’s thinking “what if I am the villain?” insted of trying to tell the “cast” that she meant no harm to anyone.) 

What does the heart on the calendar mean? Episode 8 told us the meaning of the heart. The calendar used to be the propery deed. And Vision had drawn a heart on it (to where their jome was gonna be) & added “to grown old in” - V. That’s why they say "Who needs to  abbreviate?” in ep 1. 

What was the noise all about in ep 2 that scared Wanda & Vision? Those were the drones that SWORD was sending into the hex. Those made the noise. And one of them (either a SWORD one, or Monica’s drone) made it to Wanda’s rosebushes. 

Where were Vision & Monica + Fietro during ep 8 events? They were on their way towards the center of the hex. Cause the whole “look into the past” took place...in mere seconds...just like a dream (seems like a whole day/film, but IRL almost no time goes by). The Monica + Fietro snooping & the Vision-flies back all happened at the same time as Wanda’s trip down to memory lane. They didn’t happen before, just simultaneously... They will arrive soon. [the question is: will Darcy also reach the town center & will she be able to help somehow]

Why were the films that were running in the Cinema in ep 6 “The Parent Trap” & “The Incredibles”? Because The Incredibles is an animation about a superhero family (mom, dad, kids), who fight the bad guys. And Parent Trap is about twins (Billy & Tommy, Wanda & Pietro). They were about Wanda’s life at the moment/time.  

Why were the films that were running in in the Cinema after Wanda’s hex took over the town “Big Red” & “Kidnapped”? Because, once again, they described the situation then. Wanda & her hex were the big red taking over...in a way “kidnapping” everyone and using them as puppets for the show based on her script. 

Was that really Agatha’s real/actual mother...as the “head witch”? Yes, cause she calls her mother & the actress is listed as Evanora Harkness. It’s not just a title for the leader wicth, but it’s her actual mother. 

What does the Nexus mean? It could be & probably has several meanings. As suggested, Wanda seems to be a Nexus Being (she is the same in all realities & has access to the whole multiverse...). Nexus of lal realities is in MCU (Thor: TDW) is the gateway to other dimensions. But also... Nexus Internet Hub (in Oso) is the  name of the place Tony goes to when looking for answers about Jarvis & Ultron (in AoU)

What were the commercial about? They were all references to the traumatic and/or important moments in Wandas life. Toaster = Stark bomb, Hydra Soap = Mind stone experiment, Lagos paper towels = Lagos incident, Nexus pills = Nexus Being. But each commercial has many layers, and each can also be connected to an infinity stone..in a way. And each has also other meanings. DETAILED EXPLANATION WILL BE ADDED HERE 

Why do the powers start to manifest, in big way, first a are 10? Happened with Wanda, happened with the Twins. Well, because Ten = X [in roman numerals] = X-gene. This ties into the marvel mythology about mutants & x-gene, and also, maybe, in a way roman = romani (cause while they did not copy that part of her origins story in MCU, maybe this was a nod to the SW origins? btw, I do not wants or need my tv/films to follow the original material, cause one can adapt the story to fit their own narrative. Otherwise... I’d never seen Lucy Liu as Watson, especially for comics, when things are “retconned” often...) 

Why does it never rain in WV? The weather report on TV in ep 6 said that it’s sunny all week, but we saw that on the outskirts of the town there were puddles on the road & Vision & Darcy drove through rain...so it actually does rain...there...just not at the center of the hex/town. And we’ve seen that the conditions are different inside & outside the hex: it can be daytime in the hex & nighttime outside the hex...at the same time. Perhaps it never rains also because the last day Wanda & Vision spent together in Scotland was a rainy one...

There’s more, but I got tired... and I didn’t post it on the weekend, but I dont want to delay the posting anymore, so posting it as it is...now...

THE END

[cryptidshuffle]

the less we say about it the better - chp 1

ao3

Rating: Teen Fandom: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware Relationships: Tommy Coolatta & Gordon Freeman, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman (pre relationship) Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Temporary Character Death(its benrey dont worry hes ok), meta about deaths and respawns, arguing about the rules of uno, gay pining, Mutual Pining, fellas is it gay to comfort ur friend who u love and are both boys?, also fair warning it'll eventually be a poly ship with benrey, Autistic Character, Autistic Tommy, ADHD Gordon, everyone is gay and trans, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Summary: “after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental break downs.” they are trying to recover after black mesa, but recovery is hard. especially when one of you is still dead

---------------

They had been out of Black Mesa for a few weeks now. It was difficult trying to acclimate to life after the incident, but they were all making it work.

The science team had gotten together for some sort of game night, something cathartic about being around others who share the same trauma. Anyways, snacks and Uno was just as chaotic as one would imagine with this group of chucklefucks, with competitive tensions high on the last round of the night.

“You can’t stack the draw 4 cards, Gordon,” Bubby argued, smacking Gordon’s hand just as he placed the card.

“Says who?”

“It’s literally against the fucking rules of the game,” Bubby said back.

Tommy agreed with, “It is in the official rules, Mr. Freeman, they- Mattel confirmed it on Twitter.”

“But that’s dumb!” Gordon argued back, “I’ve always played where you can stack those, why change that now?"

Bubby retorted, “Well maybe you’ve always been playing wrong, huh? Ever thought about that, smartass?”

Dr. Coomer chimed in with, “Well on the official page for Uno (card game) on Wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit, it states that

The following official house rules are suggested in the Uno rulebook, to alter the game:

Progressive Uno: If a draw card is played, and the following player has the same card, they can play that card and "stack" the penalty, which adds to the current penalty and passes it to the following player.[4](Although a +4 cannot be stacked on a +2, or vice versa.)[6] This house rule is so commonly used that there was widespread Twitter surprise in 2019 when Mattel stated that stacking was not part of the standard rules of Uno.[6]”

“Well, there you have it,” Gordon exclaims, interrupting Coomer’s Wikipedia infodump, “Just because it’s a house rule doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate way of playing."

“What if I don’t want to play with that rule, that’s fuckin stupid,” Bubby grumbles.

“Jesus ok, I'll play a different card, happy?” Gordon says dejectedly, taking back his controversial draw 4 card for a more innocuous one. “It’s your turn anyways.”

Bubby throws down his last card onto the pile. “I win fuckers!!!! Ahahahahaha!"

“You wouldn’t have won if you let me stack the fucking cards,” Gordon said as he threw his losing card pile onto the coffee table.

“Don’t fret Gordon! Bubby is just extremely good at card games,” Dr. Coomer replied.

“You're forgetting I’m a goddamn genius, that extends to my sick-ass Uno skills,” Bubby bragged.

Gordon chuckled, watching the two older scientists get up to leave, and watching Tommy remain, quietly cleaning up the uno deck into neat piles to place in its box.

“Well gentlemen, it’s been fun, though I think it’s time Bubby and I better get going!” Dr. Coomer said.

“No problem, don’t want you two to be late for your old man early-bird breakfast at Golden Corral tomorrow!” Gordon teased.

“Shut the fuck- I’ll kick your ass,” said Bubby.

“Hello Gord- Actually our old man breakfast is not until Saturday! It’s the one day a week I let loose and unhinge my jaws at the buffet like a Burmese Python!” said Dr. Coomer as Bubby grabs his coat and keys.

“That sounds absolutely horrifying,” Gordon laughs.

“It really is,” says Bubby. “Well, see you later asshole,” Bubby says, herding himself and Coomer out the front door.

“See you guys later,” Gordon says.

“Goodbye, Gordon! Goodbye, Tommy,” Coomer also says, before they leave Gordon’s apartment.

Tommy had yet to get up to leave, he stayed sitting in his seat staring into space, and fiddling with the Uno card deck.

“Hey Tommy, you alright man?” he asked gently. At the mention of his name, he was shaken a bit out of his stupor.

“Y-yeah I'm fine Mr. Freeman, why do you ask?”

“I mean you were kinda just staring into space for a bit, and you didn’t say anything when Bubby and Coomer left.”

“Oh shit. Sorry about that, I’ll get out of your hair,” Tommy said, starting to move to leave.

Gordon placed a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Hey, if something’s bothering you, just know I’m here if you wanna talk about it,” Gordon comforted.

Tommy blushed slightly at the contact and nodded.

“Thank you. I-uh… I’ve just been thinking about things that happened back in Black Mesa and, you know,” he pauses to think for a bit, and sighs, “honestly I’ve been thinking a lot about Benrey.”

Just at the mention of him, Gordon felt his stomach drop with the weight of too many emotions.

“Yeah...I uh… I understand,” he responds with a sad sigh, “anything in particular you’re thinking about him?”

“I don’t know just kind of- Earlier I started thinking about how much he would enjoy game night. And then I started to miss him and realize that- that he’s not here. I feel guilty about killing him and upset at what he did. He was still my friend and I just- I want to know why he did what he did. I just want to understand,” Tommy said.

Gordon looked away as he thought about his own emotions regarding Benrey. He was undeniably angry with him, for getting him ambushed by the bootboys, for getting his arm cut off, frustrated with the constant taunting. Yet… he also felt guilty for some reason and he couldn’t quite place why. Gordon really didn’t want to feel guilty.

“Yeah…” Gordon sighed, “I'll be honest I do feel guilty about it too. I don’t know why because I feel like it should be justified since he did try to kill us. But there were times when him pestering me about my arm felt like… like sincere questioning? I still… I don’t know.”

“Yeah… I think-” Tommy cut himself off, staring at a fixed point in his vision, trying to decide whether or not to bring this up.

“I don’t think Benrey understood how human mortality worked.”

Well, that wasn’t what Gordon expected. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was from Xen, Mr. Freeman, he wasn’t human. It was different for him. You remember he did die several times, but he came back eventually. He had to wait for his form to regenerate.”

“Wait-” this time Gordon cut Tommy off, “Oh shit, that wasn’t a joke?  For some reason I just assumed his talking about respawns and shit was part of his Epic Gamer bit?”

“I mean it was a little but I think… there’s probably a reason Benrey attached himself to video games so much, yeah? He can see himself in the structure. Like, uh- something he can relate to.” Tommy says. “It doesn’t excuse what- what he did, but I feel like knowing why things happened makes- makes them more understandable.”

Gordon leaned back on the couch blown away by the revelation. In hindsight it wasn’t that surprising but it took him a few seconds to come to terms with the reality.

“Yeah, when you put it that way, I guess it does make a lot of sense. Wait though, I swear to god all of you have died at least once, but you guys aren’t from Xen?” Gordon said, now confused about the seeming metanarrative of the mortality of his friends.

“Yeah, but those were weird Black Mesa things, Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, not elaborating any more than that.

Gordon waited a beat for Tommy to explain more but he said all he needed to.

“I will ask you more about that later, but I do not have the energy to unpack all that right now,” Gordon said with a gentle laugh.

“Wait, getting back on topic real quick, why couldn’t Benrey just... respawn now? Did we really get him that good?”

Tommy looked incredibly sad when Gordon said this, and he regretted it immediately.  ‘Damn it Gordon, Tommy’s clearly upset about Benrey, you don’t gotta be an insensitive dick.’

“Well Mr. Freeman, that’s kinda why I’ve been thinking about him,” Tommy said, “I’m not sure. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to respawn. Depending on the amount of damage it takes longer but… It’s been a while and what if- What if he is back but he is mad at all of us and that’s why we haven’t seen him? Or what if it is taking a really long time because we hurt him a whole lot. Or what if we…”

Tommy got quiet for a few seconds, the silence in the room was deafening. For an instance Gordon felt as if making a sound would shatter the air like glass.

Tommy finally said with a whisper, voice thick with choking back tears, “What if we killed him for good? And I don’t- I never see him again?”

It honestly broke Gordon’s heart how distraught Tommy was. Pushing his own complicated Benrey feelings aside, he was gonna focus on Tommy here and now.

“…Tommy, is it ok if I hug you, man?” Gordon couldn’t think of the best way to comfort the other man with words, but physical comfort he could do.

Tommy looked a little surprised at this ask but nodded. Gordon leaned in to hug the other scientist and Tommy collapsed in his embrace, completely breaking down.

Gordon just sat there and held him as Tommy sobbed into his shoulder, trying to comfort the crying man by rubbing circles into his back.

Gordon’s brain processed the things Tommy had said. Was Benrey really gone? Why did he feel guilty about the idea of having killed Benrey, he was fine with the concept during the final boss fight on Xen but now… the thought made him feel… sad? Regretful? Even his seemingly rational justifications didn’t seem as clear at the moment, only thinking of his fonder memories with Benrey.

‘Fuck this,’ he thought as he felt his own tears well up, ‘this isn’t about me, I need to focus on being there for Tommy,’ pushing his own feelings to the back of his mind to be dealt with later.

Tommy eventually calmed down enough where his sobs turned into sniffles, and he started to pull away from the hug.

“S – sorry for having a – a breakdown on your- on your couch Mr. Freeman,” Tommy said, the post-crying mental fog making his stuttering more noticeable. Tommy didn’t really have the effort in him to care.

“Don’t worry about it, man, after everything we’ve been through we deserve a few mental breakdowns,” Gordon joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Oh, that was nothing, Mr. Freeman, in terms of mental breakdowns that was as mild as a first-grade pizza party in the eye of a hurricane,” Tommy compared in a way that made little sense to Gordon, yet ridiculous enough to cause the man to burst out laughing.

“Alright I’ll take your word for it,” Gordon said, still laughing.

“I’m serious Mr. Freeman, once you have a meltdown so intense that you accidentally teleport yourself to an inter-dimensional void, the rest is a cake walk at the school fair,” Tommy said.

“Waitwaitwait- teleport?” he leaned back to look at him in surprise, “Since when could you fuckin teleport!” Gordon asked caught off guard.

“You know, learned some things from my Dad,” Tommy said, again failing to further explain himself.

“…Well alright. Yeah that tracks.”

Gordon was quiet for a moment before responding with, “You know, Tommy, I want you to know I’m here for you if you need anyone to talk to. You were there for me when I was at my lowest in Black Mesa, and I wanna be that friend to you if you need it,” he said giving the other scientists hand a comforting squeeze.

Tommy smiled, “Thank you, that means a lot Mr. Freeman.”

“You know you can call me Gordon, you don’t have to be so formal all the time Dr. Coolatta,” he teased.

Tommy blushed, ‘dammit why did he have to be so cute?’

“Wow Mr. Fr – Gordon are you really gonna make fun of my doctorate that I worked very hard for,” Tommy teased back, still a bit sniffly from crying.

“Dude, I cannot imagine you in college for some reason, what was your doctorate even in” asked Gordon, semi-jokingly, but still a bit serious.

Tommy laughed a bit, wiping the remaining tears away with the back of his hand. “Bio-chemical engineering. Creating Sunkist was for my thesis project.” Normally Tommy would be more then willing to infodump about the topic but he found his energy to be draining fast.

“What the fuck, that’s cooler than mine was. Us nerds in the Theoretical Physics department didn’t do any crazy shit like that,” Gordon said.

“Bold of you to assume I was a nerd, G-Gordon. I was the craziest guy in the frat house,” Tommy said.

Gordon’s memory vaguely recalls Tommy’s insistence that he “do something crazy” when drinking Darnold’s Potion of Grow Gun Arm.

“You know what, yeah, surprisingly I can see that image vividly in my head,” Gordon said. “Real talk though…” he said changing the subject and putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, “Are you- uh, ok? Like feeling better?”

Tommy was quiet for a second, eyes flickering down to look at his fidgeting hands in his lap, before replying with, “I’m ok. N-not great, I don’t think, but I will be.”

Gordon nodded. “Tommy, if there’s one nugget of wisdom that I have to share, it’s that healing takes time, things usually turn out to be ok in the end. No matter what’s going on with Benrey…it'll be alright, I’m sure.” Gordon patted his shoulder for emphasis, “not the best advice out there but it’s the best I can come up with straight off the dome. And I don’t wanna seem like I didn’t try to help you out."

Tommy laughed gently, “Thank you Mr. Fr- uh, thank you Gordon. You did help. Even if- if your advice was a bit cheesy.”

“Whatever man, you can’t blame me for trying,” Gordon laughed, playfully shoving Tommy where his hand had previously rested on the other man’s shoulder. Tommy laughed in return. He only noticed the warmth of Gordon’s touch once it was gone.

Tommy absentmindedly noticed the time on the wall clock in Gordon’s apartment. Jesus, 11:30? When did it get so late? The older scientist really hoped he wasn’t overstaying his welcome; While he would love to just stay here and joke around, he had already bothered Mr. Freeman enough and was already exhausted.

“I- I’m probably gonna head back home now, I didn’t realize how late it was,” Tommy said, standing up from his spot next to Gordon.

Gordon nodded. He had the passing thought of offering for Tommy to stay but… maybe that was a step too far. ‘Tommy probably wants his space,’ Gordon rationalized to himself.

He nodded, “Alright, don’t let me keep you,” he said, getting up as well to help Tommy gather his belongings. Which, to be honest Tommy didn’t bring much but some snacks for the group, but Gordon just needed an excuse to do anything.

Gordon walked Tommy to the front door of his apartment, like the good host he was, opening the door for him.

“Thanks for coming over Tommy,” he said.

Tommy nodded. “Thank- thank you again for letting me talk about Benrey, I know it was kinda rough there at the end, but if you ever need to talk about anything… I'm here for you as well.”

Gordon smiled, “Thank you Tommy, I'll keep that in mind.”

Tommy smiled in return, “Have a good night G-Gordon,” he said turning to head to his car.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Gordon turns to head back inside, but before he does, he can’t resist one more jab.

“Thought you could teleport?” he calls out teasingly.

Tommy flips him off, which causes Gordon to laugh harder. “Gives me a headache,” Tommy called back, trying and failing keep a straight face.

Gordon laughs as he waves a final goodbye, turning back inside and closing the door after Tommy waves as well. His thoughts race as he gets ready for bed, trying to ignore his fluttering heartbeat as he lays down for the night.

Tommy shuffles his thoughts in his head as he drives home. The emotional rollercoaster of his already draining social interaction meter from the science team, his Benrey guilt, and his small crush on Gordon was just too much for one day. His hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, looking forward to collapsing in bed for the night, hoping his dad won’t notice he'd been crying.

Somewhere, in an interdimensional void far away from this reality, someone begins to shift awake.

[like-rain-or-confetti]

To Be Human (A.I.!Reader x Mass Effect)

“Where shall I put my things? I’d prefer somewhere dry, if anything is available.” Thane asked, his hands behind his back. You rocked on your heels for a moment, a habit you knew you did as a human, you did so now not as a habit but as a quirk of your personality. EDI roared to life. “The area near the life support plant on the deck tends to be slightly more arid than the rest of the ship.” You nodded in confirmation though you had no doubt that the crew took this nod as agreement. They didn’t know you were an AI- only Shepard, Jacob and Miranda although none knew you were previously human only EDI knew that. On the other hand, it wasn’t common for AI’s to have physical bodies. To have one and look human, it could easily be considered rare.  “Ah, an AI? My thanks.” Thane cast a parting glance to Shepard before turning and leaving.   “He seems civil.” EDI said.  “Lonely.” You added.  “You don’t know what that means.” Jacob said quickly.  “I do, I understand the concept very well.” You responded. “I remember feeling it once.”  “What?” Jacob asked but you shook your head.  “Another time. I better get back to work.” 

As you walked away, EDI’s voice came to your head. “Do you intend to tell them? Or are you lying?”  “Of course, I will EDI. Now is just not the time.”  “How do you know?”  “He taught me that.”  EDI’s voice never issued you a response. 

There were small differences between both you and EDI. Both of you were blunt, matter of fact, straight to the point. Though you spent a lot of time learning social queues - what’s insensitive and inappropriate. It was difficult, but you kept yourself in check. Even if you couldn’t be human anymore, you could do your best to replicate it. Many wouldn’t know any different that you weren’t human and that was good enough for you. You could feel emotions in the most basic form. You had learned them too. EDI wasn’t as good at it but was doing significantly better. All AI’s were getting better at learning through observation. Though you couldn’t pin point when you stopped replicating emotions and actually began to feel them ever so slightly. EDI could see everything in the ship like it was a body part - complete control and objectivity. You couldn’t do that. You knew how the ship worked but never the very framework and design of the ship. EDI saw the ship as a skeleton and everything inside like an X-Ray as though bonded to the ship, and perhaps EDI was the heart of the Normandy with such an established connection but you were never designed to be so sophisticated. Perhaps that made you that little bit more human than EDI. Not to mention that EDI was always online whilst you had to shut down for a couple of hours every couple of days, like sleeping. 

You decided to check on Thane. He sat on a chair, looking out the opposite window, hands clasped on the table in front of him.  “Hi Thane, is this room alright for you?” Thane turned his head, eyes following you as you entered. “Yes, it is satisfactory. You have my thanks.” You smiled. “Glad to hear it. My name is (Y/N), I’m one of the technicians here.”  “I see.” You couldn’t hide your smile and Thane seemed to notice, tilting his head silently questioning.  “I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I’ve never met a Drell before and I always wanted to when I heard of your kind.”  “Ah.” Thane nodded.  “I heard Drell have really good memory, like photographic memory.” You stepped closer.  “We, Drell, have excellent memories. Though we don’t simply remember them, we relive them to the tiniest detail.”  “Really? That’s cool.” You seemed pleased and Thane appeared to be slightly amused. He seemed to have a burning question in his mind as he was quiet for a moment before speaking up.  “If you don’t mind my asking, you seem awfully young to be here, especially on such a dangerous mission.” You smiled.��“Yeah, I am but i have my uses and besides, saving the world can’t wait for me to get a little older.” You meant it more literally than intended. You couldn’t grow older anymore. “I won’t bother you anymore though, i better get back to work. Despite what Joker or anyone else on this ship tells you- it can’t run without me.” You grinned. “Besides, i’m sure Commander Shepard will be coming to check on you soon.” You both bid your farewells before you headed to the engine 

There were a few nights a week that the Normandy was off duty and could relax. The professional justification was to boost morale, ensure the crew would be a team over anything else but the real, more personal, reason was to stop everyone going mad. This particular night was no different other than Jacob pestering you for answer. “Tell us, what did you mean earlier? About being lonely?”  “Hey now! Everyone gets lonely, humans included.” Garrus jumped to your defense.  “(Y/N) isn’t human, they’re an AI. AI’s don’t feel emotions. Experts are only beginning research to allow such a thing. It’s controversial.” Jacob fired back. There was a rumble of excitement to the news, Shepard sending a disapproving look to Jacob for telling everyone in such a way.  “Emotions aren’t difficult.” You said smoothly, making everyone grow quiet with attention on you. “I understand the concept.” “Yeah, but you also said you felt it.” “A long time ago, or at least I think I have. I don’t personally have the memory but I know for sure I have felt it.” “That doesn’t make sense.” Jacob frowned. “I believe (Y/N) is referring to when they were human.” EDI’s voice rang through the room. “I think so too EDI…” You murmured.  “What?” Shepard seemed just as shocked as everyone else.  “I died young, and was a civilian impacted by the war with the reapers. I was found by a Salarian and he fixed me.” You trailed off, was that the right word for it?  “Wait, so, what does that mean?” Jacob shook his head.  “It means I won’t age.”  “As well as (Y/N) was born human and continues to have a human physique, on the inside, they have complex technology that is more advanced than most AI’s.” EDI explained. 

It was incredibly difficult to describe yourself when there were no real memories of you when you were human. You only knew what you were told. Having to explain this didn’t trigger an emotional response yet you knew it should have and in turn that bubbled minor responses, the best you could get. Though you wanted to learn, more than anything. 

You had spent many times with Thane before he died. When he did, you watched the Normandy grieve. However you couldn’t feel the sadness or pain of his death. You really liked Thane and seeing Shepard’s relationship blossom with Thane was truly a gift. To see him gone would have been gut-wrenching, purely saddening…but you could only feel a haze of it. This only reminded you that imitating didn’t mean you really had emotions. “Shepard, how are you holding up?” You asked as the commander passed. Thane’s funeral had just ended. “I’m holding.” Was your received response. “Barely, but I’m holding. What about you? You were close with Thane.” You blankly stated up at Shepard. “I think you know the answer to that.” Shepard hummed in amusement. “I wish I had such a luxury. Now more than ever.” “No, you don’t.” You said immediately. “I want to shed even the smallest tear. I know that this is sad but I can’t feel it yet I want to. Though, I do wonder if not feeling it makes me realise the beauty of it.” “There is nothing beautiful about losing a loved one, watching the body of your loved ones because nothing but an empty shell that will deteriorate. It’s insulting to ever deem such a thing beautiful.” Shepard replied. “Maybe, but there is a beauty to Thane. A beauty in the legacy he has left behind by the name of Kolyat. A piece of Thane lives in him and will continue with Kolyat’s children. Thane recognised he made mistakes and spent his final days attempting to right his wrongs. He died for you, who he loved, and lived for you. He cried, he laughed, he loved and he hated. He stood for what he believed in. He lived and that Shepard is beautiful. Thane believed that death was only another journey and that only adds to the beauty. He’s not gone, Commander and from what I’ve learned from this crew. He’ll always be in here.” You stood up and tapped Shepard’s heart. “As for myself, I can never forget him. Maybe one day, I’ll feel sadness -if I ever learn- and really do Thane justice.” You stepped back. “If you’ll excuse me commander. Kolyat wanted to see me after the funeral.” Shepard couldn’t stop thinking about your words. Sometimes it was a distraction from the pain of losing Thane but mostly it helped to grieve. Shepard allowed the tears to fall when alone even whilst listening to the messages Thane sent but Shepard never received. Kolyat had given them to Shepard which was greatly appreciated by the commander. It felt like the end was coming with the Reapers and Shepard had to pull at every scrap of energy to fight back. Shepard had to prepare, but there were a few things to do left.  Rising to a stand, Shepard was quick to make a video call.  “Commander Shepard?”  “Kolyat…” 

You were told to make a delivery of a drive to Kolyat which you agreed to. It had been some time since you last saw him, that last time being the week after the funeral. You developed a form of friendship with him, often telling him stories of his father during his time on the Normandy. He even seemed intrigued that you were an AI. 

When you arrived, he welcomed you, urging you to come in. “Commander Shepard told me to give this to you. I can’t say I know what it is.” You handed him the drive. Kolyat looked down for a moment, brushing his fingertips across it before looking back up at you. “This isn’t for me.” “I don’t understand…” “It’s for you, (Y/N).” Kolyat sat you down and set up the drive. Inside was many emails between Shepard and Kolyat as well as a video message. “Shepard, you are receiving a call.” EDI’s voice rang out. Right in the middle of debriefing the crew. Damn. Shepard accepted the call. “Commander? I don’t understand.” Your voice came through, clear and precise. “I explained my intentions in the video message.” Shepard said. “Trust me, (Y/N). I know what I’m doing.” “Did I do something wrong? AI’s are commonly given away or abandoned because they are not fit for purpose-” “(Y/N), listen to me.” Shepard ordered. “I am not abandoning you. You did nothing wrong. I am entrusting you to Kolyat because you need him as much as he needs you.” “Commander, the fight with the Reapers-” “i don’t want you fighting them. You… you’re too young. You’ve got so much more to learn. I want you to have that chance.” “Want?” You repeated Shepard’s word choice. Shepard continued. “Keep Kolyat safe. Enjoy this second chance at life. You were a brilliant asset to this crew. You won’t be forgotten.” “Have you left me here?” Shepard was quiet for a moment. “Yes.” “I understand.” Your response finally came. 

Kolyat showed you the messages. This had been planned. As Shepard had said Kolyat was willing to take you with him and was filled in about your want to learn about emotions. “Is it just us now?” You asked. “For now.” Kolyat nodded. 

Six hundred years had passed since the war with the Reapers. The Tempest crew was complete and the Nexus was beginning to thrive. Jaal loved hearing the history of the Nexus and the names of who made everything possible. Commander Shepard was beyond expectations. A true leader. Jaal couldn’t help but wonder if Ryder would one day be considered the same. He nearly jumped when you came up beside him. “I knew Commander Shepard, you know.” You said as you idly stared at the hologram of commander Shepard. “You did? But you’re very young looking, and this was six hundred years ago.” “I’m a few years older than I look.” You smiled. “If I’m honest- i lost count. I’m (Y/N). A human-looking A.I. which I’m assuming you’ll appreciate my saying so later. Lots of people get confused if I don’t.” “I see.” Jaal looked you over, looking for any indication your were actually an A.I. but he couldn’t see anything. “Are you with the new human Pathfinder?” You asked. “Indeed.” Jaal replied. “That must be exciting. There was never a dull day when I was in the Normandy.” “The crew make it exciting.” 

Somehow the conversation led to you meeting the Tempest crew- including the Pathfinder who was eager to find out who Jaal’s new friend was. “Woah! High-tech! Didn’t think the Nexus has it in them.” Liam looked you over. “Not quite. I am not from the Nexus. I arrived here not long after it was set up. I believe the only A.I. here is the Asari hologram one. I don’t believe I’ve heard the name yet. It’s not one for conversation.” Ryder could help but chuckle at the last part. “We’ve got an A.I. on our ship called SAM.” “Is it also an Asari hologram?” “No… actually let’s take you aboard to meet him.” You couldn’t help but notice the male pronouns. 

“SAM, we’ve found you a friend!” Liam called out. “SAM meet (Y/N). (Y/N) meet SAM.” A male voice boomed out. “Hello, (Y/N).” “Hello, SAM.” You responded. “Have you scanned me to make sure I’m not a threat?” “Affirmative. You are of no threat.” “Pleased to hear it.” “Likewise.” “My dad was teaching SAM humour and sarcasm.” Ryder smiled. “He still needs some work.” “I see. I’ve been working on those too- more towards emotions but I was taught the basics of humour and facial expressions early. It was important considering I look human.” “Which is wild!” Liam yelled out from behind you. 

After hearing about your experience on the Normandy, Ryder advocated to have you in the Tempest crew. It didn’t take long for Jaal wanting to teach you about emotions. His species were very driven and open with their emotions, for you to struggle as well as want to learn, he had to.  “You’re going about it all wrong.” Jaal explained. “You’re trying to feel emotions for something you can’t remember.” You tilted your head.  “Remember the times you have now.” 

Slowly, you began to really grow attached to the Tempest crew, just as you had with the Normandy crew all those years ago.  “Is this show for my benefit? Because i’m benefiting.” You heard Ryder in the other room and went to find out what was going on. The scene in front of you had you surprised, you couldn’t help but genuiely laugh. Liam was shirtless and Jaal was completely naked. A sight you hadn’t expected to see. The two turned, smiling at you as Ryder cast you a bewildered glance though was also amused.  “I’m sorry, was this not sanctioned?” Jaal asked. You barely caught his goodbye as you continued to chuckle. It wasn’t until you had a few laughs that you realised you hadn’t laughed because it was necessary. You laughed because you found humour in it. Eventually your mind was brought back through all the times you laughed because you were supposed to, not because you actually found it funny. You remembered Shepard’s terrible dancing, and giggled. Then there was the banter with Garrus. The secrets EDI knew about Joker who never realised she was always watching. The many times the crew got drunk. There was the happy times too, the time Liara reunited with her father. When Thane and Shepard successfully rescued Kolyat from himself. So many good things always made the bad times worth it. Kolyat, Thane, Shepard, Mordin...they’re all gone. Suddenly something hit your hard.  “SAM!? Can you- Can you do a scan on me!? I-I think somethings wrong.” “ I will alert the ship. Initiating scan.” You leaned against the wall. “I think there’s something going on with my wiring, or something, I can’t be certain. It’s not in my programming to initiate such tests on myself.” You put a hand to your chest.  “(Y/N), are you alright?” Ryder marched up to you, Jaal and Liam following behind.  “I can’t be sure. I think somethings wrong with my wiring or something.” You said quickly.  “Scanning complete. No faults or abnormalities.” SAM’s voice rang out.  “But-”  “Explain the... feeling? Sensation? What’s going on? What happened?” Liam asked.  “It’s in my chest. It’s heavy, like something is weighing me down. I was thinking about my time in the Normandy. Then i remembered they’re deaths and now there’s a sinking sensation in my chest.”  “Don’t worry.” Ryder said calmly with a knowing look.  “(Y/N), you’re sad. That’s sadness.” Jaal explained.  “I ...I am?”  “They meant a lot to you, you must be missing them, you’re feeling sadness. It’s normal, it’s an emotion.” You inhaled , eyes widening a fraction. “They were the only family i had.” 

You received an unexpected visit from Jaal a week later.  “I have been speaking about you to my true mother. She would very much like to meet you.” “To meet me?” You repeated. Jaal nodded. 

Jaal’s mother immediately met you with a hug, you quickly gathered her to be the motherly type, very fitting to her role. “It is a pleasure to meet you! Jaal has told me very much about you!” Sahuna was eager to welcome you. “Pleased to meet you.” You said, returning the hug lightly. You ended up meeting Jaal’s brothers, sisters cousins and even more of his mothers. It was a large family and you quickly soaked in how free they were with their emotions.

You weren’t certain if it was planned that for spent so much time in contact with Jaal’s family. Nevertheless, his family were wonderful people. The Angara weren’t anything like any other species you had met before. Never had a day come that had been a bore. 

“Mother, are you certain? This will be sudden for them. It’s sudden for us.” “Jaal…they’re so young and alone. I can’t stand by and watch.” “I am uncertain of what they would say.” “I know. They’ve been alone for so long. I want to give them the opportunity to change that. Ask them, Jaal. When this is all over, they can decide.” 

Sahuna Ama Darav couldn’t get you out of her mind. Not since she heard your story, not just what you have accomplished or experience but you as an individual. “Jaal tells me you’re learning about emotions.” “Yes. It is challenging at times but I believe I have improved.” You said. “I can tell you have.” “You can?” You cast a glance to Sahuna. “Your language. You believe, that’s not a fact or an analysis. You think. Your sentient. That’s much more than a machine.” The corner of your mouth lifted slightly. “Tell me, do you remember being human?” “No. Someone a long time ago told me I didn’t have the capacity to understand emotions. I think I surprised him with my answer. I told him that I understood the concept and was certain I felt it as a human but my human life is like remembering a dream.” Sahuna listened intently and you continued. “I’ve always had the idea that I am not the person I was when I was human. I lack the drive of emotion to do things. I do things because morally I know they’re right, or must be done but never because I felt strongly about it. Although I must admit, I’m not the same person I was when I first woke up not am I the same person as I was when on the Normandy. I’m content with that. I’m content not being who I was when I was human or in my early stages of development. If my memory functions well, I was referred to as a ghost of what the human (Y/N) was. I’m content with that. Besides, I have a similarity that some would argue is the most human.” “And what would that be?” Sahuna asked. “I learn from those around me. It’s gotten easier over the years but the challenge was there. May I tell you something personal?” “Of course.” Sahuna was enthralled, unable to really comprehend that this was an A.I beside her yet it was as though talking to anyone else. “I had a friend after the Normandy. His name was Kolyat. His father worked on the Normandy. Kolyat helped me with civilian life. I’d never endured it and it was confusing. He was patient and a true friend from my understanding. I cared for him deeply, but I’m not…” You paused, as though trying to find the correct word. “I don’t have enough experience with love or anything like that.” “Did you tell him? What happened to him?” “No, I didn’t. I used to want to hope that he knew but my logic told me it didn’t matter. He aged and died. I missed him. I miss him.” “I’m sorry…” “No need, it’s natural. People die. It made me wonder if I would die.” Sahuna looked startled and confused for a moment. “I can’t get older, so I question if one day I’ll just stop working or if I can die. I’ve outlived so many people -friends-. Sometimes I wonder if there’s a point to a constant existence?” “Do you feel sad? Or lonely?” “I’ve only recently felt sadness with Ryder’s crew. They remind me of the Normandy crew and I I find it difficult to not feel sadness at the thought that one day I may outlive them too. I’ll be alone again. That’s sad.” 

You thought about your talk with Sahuna that night. You had given your existence so much thought. Were these moments what it means to be human? You thought back to the Normandy crew. You outlived all of them but only made it to Shepard’s funeral. Kolyat took you, assuring you it was important. You never did quite understand why but now maybe you had an idea as to why. They were your friends and for all you knew you’d never see them again. When Kolyat died, it was a solemn time. Thinking back made you realise how many friends you had lost and that number would only increase with the Tempest crew. You felt a wave on sadness wash over you, the heaviness in your chest returning, all the more stronger than it had been. “(Y/N)?” You looked up hearing SAM’s voice ring out in the dark room. “Are you alright?” You pursed your lips, a new sensation building in your eyes. “I’m sad.” You responded and as though to confirm it, a small tear fell from your eye and slowly began to run down your cheek. SAM must have sent Ryder to check on you, Jaal and Lexi behind the Pathfinder. Ryder said nothing, walking forward to sit beside you. You were surprised that Ryder immediately pulled you into a hug. Lexi bent down slightly. “What’s on your mind?” All were silent as you spoke, as you explained your odd behavior yet everyone seemed to understand. 

Jaal eventually spoke up. “I heard you got on well with my mother.” You nodded as Ryder wiped away the stray tear on your cheek. “She’s a very kind woman.” “Yes, she is.” Jaal agreed. “She contacted me about you.” “She did? Did I do something wrong?” “No.” Jaal cracked a smile. “She wanted me to ask you something.” You looked at him waiting for him to continue. “My mother would like you to consider after our fight with the kett, coming back to Aya more permanently. She’d love for you to join our family.” Your eyes widened ever so slightly. “Why?” “My mother was born to be a mother. She hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you. You’re young, to endure all of this alone…it’s cruel. My mother wants to encourage you to learn further and would like you to join our family.” “But…I don’t grow up.” “Angaran families are huge.” Ryder spoke up. “Actually they’re massive.” “You’d be family, even if you outlived us, (Y/N), you’d still be a part of the family. You’d be with our descendants and so on. Family means a lot to us. No one is ever left alone.” Jaal explained. “I couldn’t intrude… I’m not supposed to have a family. A.I.’s don’t have that.” “I’m very sorry to tell you (Y/N),” Ryder began. “but your probably the worst at being a robot.” You cracked a smile. “You are so advanced that there isn’t even a category for you. Just being an A.I. isn’t enough and neither is considering you to be human. You’re brilliant and you deserve everything you work for. If you want my opinion, you’ve been alone long enough.” Ryder smiled at you. “Hell yeah! I second that!“ Liam entered. "I bet you’ll love it. Besides, we’re fighting along side one another. That makes us family! So really, you’re gaining two families. No! Three! You were on the Normandy too! They were also your family!” It took you a long time to really understand that Shepard leaving you behind wasn’t out of cruelty- it was to be kind. “Listen, you’re pretty badass so you’re definitely stuck with me.” “And me!” You heard PeeBee yell out. “As much as it hurts me to say!” Ryder chuckled as you bit back your own laugh. “I’m not good with civilian life, I’m still not sure what to do.” “Oh that’s easy! We’ve got you covered on that! No doubt Jaal will be on your ass about education and good grades.” Liam grinned and Jaal cracked a smile. “We’ll help you figure out what you like and what you don’t like.” Ryder smiled. “Even if it takes fifty years- we’re doing it and that includes PeeBee because she’ll be alive for longer than us!” “Damnit Ryder! Don’t commit me to this stuff!” PeeBee’s voice rang out again. “You bet! Then you’ll make a whole lot more friends, maybe even get an Angaran boyfriend.” Liam wiggled his eyes. “Get married, have a few kids. Or maybe it won’t even be an Angarian-” Ryder quickly jumped in with an alarmed expression. “Maybe in the far far away future! But Liam-” “and we probably won’t like the guy because he won’t be good enough for you-” "Liam-” Ryder attempted to interrupt Liam but to no avail. Suddenly PeeBee bounded in. “Hoi, Costa! Why are you so certain it’s a boyfriend they want? What if they want a girlfriend? Or anything else? You’re making assumptions!” “Thanks PeeBee.” Ryder said quickly. Liam paused. “She’s got a point…but that’s not what I meant! I meant no matter what, we’re gonna be here to help!” Everyone looked at you and slowly you turned to look at Jaal. You cracked a smile, slowly nodding. 

[shadowtarot]

The team explains what is going on to the now freed/rescued group, and the rescued also share their encounters with the shadows & their own rescue of Kazushi. What could this mean for the two groups?

Thieves in Inaba Part 67

Minato is tense, not prepared to see anyone else he became friends with since his passing. Kazushi stands up and goes to try to confirm what he’s seeing. 

“You’re…not just something in my head are you? You died! We all were at the ceremony back in high school.”

Minato nods a bit, smiling sadly. “I’m…actually here.”

He shakes his head in disbelief. “You don’t look like you’ve changed a bit, Minato. I…”

He offers a hand, smirking. The others are looking outside, not wishing to disturb the moment. The two shake hands as a way of confirming Minato is indeed, alive. 

The rest then file in, Iwai and son both a bit confused. Kou notices them and waves, offering them seats at the table much the same as before. 

But this time, everyone sits down. Futaba takes out her laptop and uses her Persona to provide an image of everything so far. 

“Okay everyone, let’s review. From the culmination of three dungeons, outside conflicts and internal struggles we have enough data to start to figure out our threat.”

Kou leans back in his seat. “Those wolf things started appearing shortly after the meteor landing a day prior. Several of us here went to check it out, if I’m remembering correctly.”

Ai stares at her hands. “Kids were taken away, thee boys and three girls. But there were others attacking in Okina looking for targets.”

Mishima nods. “Yeah, like me and Yu’s cousin. They were hunting people close to any Wild Card.”

Iwai looks at the group around him. “They sound like they were using different tactics right? Kids get taken in one instant, and when that doesn’t work they go straight for the close friends and family. They aren’t stupid that’s for sure..”

Aigis looks over Futaba’s data and points something out. “We must not forget that they tried to corrupt our friends. They tried different methods for Minato and Yu in that case.”

“It’s all based around Lovecraftian lore. Which is backed up more by who I encountered in the Castle sewers.” Akechi looks at every one.

“Nyarlathotep, correct?” Minato asks, nodding. “You made an assumption that Deathbringer, our initial antagonizer might not actually be on level footing with him. Well I think I have evidence to back it up.”

Everyone turns to look at Minato with curiosity.

“When he was in my head, he took on a much more human look. He looked no older then Seventeen…”

“So…you’re implying that old death might be human?” Junpei asks. “But he can float and do all that other weird stuff! We can’t even pull that off.”

“Well, there is a chance he might have been alive…at one point.” Naoto suggests.

Chie gulps. “I..I hate to ask but, where are you going with that thought Naoto?”

“It’s just as I said, he might be someone who died in the TV world only to be reanimated.”

“Except, there’s a hole in that theory.” Adachi chimes in. “Have you forgotten what normally happens if you die here?”

Yosuke lowers his head and nods a bit. “The corpse appears back in the real world…”

Teddie blinks, looking around. “That may have happened during the murders because of the test going on, but this world has existed for a lot longer then that. It’s connected deeply to Persona after all.”

Mitsuru nods. “So the theory would still hold ground if the death happened prior to 2011…”

“Hold up though, I still have a question. In movies n’ shit you need to be like…possessed to be reanimated. Ether that or it’s some voodo magic. How would that actually work here?” Ryuji leans back in his seat.

“Shadows.” Morgana states. “It’s as simple as that. But…as far as I’m aware this isn’t common.”

Ren taps his fingers on the table. “So, what we have is some god using a possible corpse puppet to enact revenge for the failure of other gods? At least that’s what I’m getting at here. But this feels a lot more on edge then normal.”

Rise gasps. “Guys I hate to interrupt this but, the dungeons…they’ve somehow left the TV World!”

“No way!” Futaba checks the data herself. “…she’s not kidding. There’s some sort of leak. Fogs rolling in too…”

“This isn’t good, we haven’t been able to save the rest of the captured people!” Ann looks worried. “What do we do? Leave the TV?”

“We have to, it seems that our friends are trying to do something…more people will be in danger if fog starts to cover the area.” Yu stands up. “Shadows thrive in it. I wouldn’t be surprised if stronger ones start to appear. We need to go out there!”

Kou and the other rescued stand up. “Where do we go then?”

“Stay here still. If both this world and the real world are melding, then this is the safest place you can be in right now.” Yosuke states.

Ren tosses Iwai a model gun. “Picked up a spare in a Palace I was in last year. Shadows think it’s real so this will be your best  way of fighting any of them off.”

Iwai smirks. “This explains why you needed my goods. Don’t worry, get out there and do what needs to be done. I’ll handle things here.”

Inaba Skies

“Fog has rolled in!” Kikuno states over the intercom. “This does not bode well for us!”

“Fog…” Sho nods. “Something happened in that other world. Things are starting to get interesting.”

Sae looks out the nearby window and sees a sea of grey mist covering the area. 

“Makoto…please…be safe.”

[wordsysayswords]

For the RvB angst contest, can I suggest Tucker dealing with the idea that Wash might die, after Wash gets shot in the throat? Thank you!

Breathing

Relationships: Tuckington

Warnings for some discussion of medical procedures/blood. Heavily discussed character death. Angst with a hopeful ending. @rvbficwars

It’s hardly the first time Tucker’s had to consider the possibility that Wash might die. Having fought beside the man for years, Tucker’s grown used to the thought, God fucking dammit, Wash is going to get himself killed and others like it.

It’s what comes after that Tucker has trouble with.

Or, Tucker is forced to consider a world without Wash. After all, just because Wash woke up at the end of season 15, doesn’t mean everything’s going to be okay. 

Read on Ao3

“You said he’d be fine.”

“Captain Tucker–”

“You said he’d be okay. After Temple–they told us he even woke up.”

“And that is true, but unfortunately since then his condition–”

The resounding BANG as Tucker punches the desk echoes throughout the entire office. Even the hall beyond it goes dead quiet.

There’s a long moment of perfect silence before Tucker pulls his fist back from the now dented metal. He’s still in power armor, it’s a surprise he didn’t snap the whole desk in half.

Tucker looks up, expecting anger, expecting ‘pull yourself together, Captain.’ He’s prepared to be thrown from the room–hell maybe even the hospital.

Instead, he finds Grey sat at her desk, unmoved by his outburst. Kimball stands beside her chair, hand raised to her security detail, signally them to stand down. There’s no trace of the clinical doctor persona or the hardened leader. Just two friends, the misery on their faces a direct reflection of the cold tendrils wrapped around Tucker’s heart.

He blows out a long breath that does little to calm him.

“I don’t get it,” Tucker pleads. “We’re living in the fucking future. With time travel and AI.

“How does someone just stop breathing?”

#

There wasn’t time to think about it. Not while Temple’s machine was still out there threatening millions of lives. Not while there was a fight to fight and swords to swish-swish-stab and tanks to punch.

At least that’s what Tucker told himself. There’s no time to stop and worry about Wash.

Because worrying meant thinking. And thinking made that bullet tearing through Wash’s neck real.

So obviously the only thing to do was not think. But that was a hell of a lot easier said than done. Abject terror burrowed itself into Tucker’s brain like a parasite and touched every little decision, movement, and thought.

#

At the Blues and Reds old bases, Tucker grits his teeth and gives the most kickass pep talk of all time, thank you very much. It’s awesome and motivational and amazing, but

What would Wash say in his place?

Afterward, Tucker gets the video file of his speech from Jax so he can show Wash when they see him again. Because they will see Wash again.

Tucker ends up deleting it. It’s nowhere near as good as whatever the Freelancer would have thought up on the spot. He’s not going to make Wash sit through his shitty speech. Anyway, the man probably won’t want to see it. Wash has got more important things to deal with after all. Like staying alive with two bloody holes in his throat.

It doesn’t stop there. The nagging questions follow Tucker into battle.

He takes down those flag obsessed morons with ease, using every badass Freelancer move Wash ever taught him.

Tucker goes in for another attack, breathing hard. But wait–is Wash still breathing?

Did he just take his last breath? Did it hurt? Was he awake? Was he scared? Was anyone with him? Did someone hold his hand? Did he wonder where his team was?

And they keep coming.

Tucker looms over Temple, energy sword crackling in his hand. The glow reflects off his own blue armor and Temple’s blue armor, his blue visor. Blue. Blue. Blue.

Will I know Wash is gone?

Will Tucker feel something the moment it happens? Will he be able to recognize a post-Washington world? Tucker’s a soldier at war–he’s had people die on him before, even friends. There hadn’t been any magical moment of knowing. But Wash is… different.

Wash can’t die. Wash doesn’t die. He comes crawling back like the ornery little cockroach he is. You can shoot him, blow him up, toss him off cliffs, and drop a fucking spaceship on him. But Wash is always going to be there with the smirks he tries to hide when Tucker makes a joke (“Your head’s big enough as it is. You don’t need any more encouragement”). He’s always going to be there at three a.m. to sit on the floor and color with Caboose when the blue soldier has a nightmare or is just missing Church. Every morning he’ll be there hovering over the coffee pot when Tucker finally rolls out of bed, ready to offer a cup while he downs his third (“Leave me alone, it’s not even that strong”). He’ll be there with his high-pitched angry voice and dumb martyr complex. And his annoying stickler-for-the-rules attitude. And his smug teasing (“Sounds like you really fucked up”).

Then Loco’s shitty machine works because of course it does. This is just what Tucker’s life is now. And Church is there. Not Epsilon. Church Church. Tucker’s best friend from his days in Blood Gulch stands there alive and grouchy as ever. And then he’s gone. Again.

That’s a hell of a lot to process and Tucker feels a little like his mind is breaking, but those fucking thoughts are still coming through loud and clear.

Will I get to tell Wash about this?

Will the Freelancer laugh and shake his head when Tucker inevitably embellishes bits? Will his eyes soften with sympathy when Tucker acts like he doesn’t care they had to face saying goodbye to their dead friend yet again? Probably for real this time. Probably.

They save the whole goddamn world. An entire planet–billions of lives.

Will he be proud of me?

#

At first, there’s no time to worry and then there’s no need. The lieutenants arrive on the beach and tell them so.

And apparently, after the Freelancer’s third rendition of the Ducktales theme song, he’d had a few moments of clarity during which he asked about the Reds and Blues.

Where are they? Did they win? Is everyone alright? Is Caboose okay? Is Tucker here?

Is Tucker here?

At the time the teal soldier brushes it off with a smirk and a joke. “Jeez, dude, way to sound desperate.”

The others give him strange, sad looks but say nothing. Not that they need too. Tucker feels like an ass the second it comes out of his mouth.

The truth is that one secretly kills Tucker because that’s Wash-speak for ‘I want to see Tucker–Can I see Tucker? I need Tucker to tell me everyone made it out and Temple is gone.’ Because Wash not only sucks at asking for things, he’s got deep-rooted trust issues with medical personnel. Meaning, he won’t believe anyone when they assure him everyone’s fine–not until the Reds and Blues confirm it themselves.

#

“Is he going to be okay?”

They got back to Chorus to find out that within a span of twenty-four hours, everything’s gone to shit. It might have been an infection. Tucker didn’t hear anything else Grey said after the part where Wash stopped breathing.

“Is he going to be okay?” Tucker asks again when he’s answered with silence.

The doctor leans back in her chair, hands folded neatly in her lap.

“We have Agent Washington on a ventilator,” Grey explains, voice unnaturally level. “Meaning the machine is essentially breathing for him.”

“And?” Tucker presses. The slow pace of the conversation is starting to make him see red.

“He just experienced a severe trauma…” Grey lifts her glasses to wipe the sleep from one eye. “His body’s struggling to keep up.”

Tucker swallows down the thick anger bubbling up his throat and focuses on not punching the desk again.

“But is he going to be okay?” He asks yet again, forcing his voice steady.

Grey meets his gaze with tired eyes.

“It is too soon to tell.”

#

It’s hardly the first time Tucker’s had to consider the possibility that Wash might die. Having fought beside the man for years, Tucker’s grown used to the thought, God fucking dammit, Wash is going to get himself killed and others like it.

It’s what comes after that Tucker has trouble with.

Imagining Wash die has always felt like a game over, so to speak. Sad 8-bit music plays followed by a black screen. You Lose. Game Over. Return to Main Menu? Yes or No?

The months Tucker spent with the New Republic were a harsh dose of reality. That’s when it hit him that life moves on without Wash and Tucker kind of hates it.

That’s the final truth of the matter. When–if Wash dies, the teal soldier’s going to continue having dumbass adventures with his dumbass friends, one dumbass short.

Blue team will be without a leader. Again. Everyone will expect Tucker to step up because he’s the logical choice. Of course, he doesn’t want that but who’s going to listen when the only other option is Caboose? Tucker barely trust his ability to keep himself alive some days. How’s he supposed to lead others?

With Wash gone he’s only got one teammate left. Sure, there’s the Reds and the whole conflict between the teams was fake from the start. But the teams are very real, and the bonds those teams created. What happens when Tucker has to look after Caboose by himself? Sure, Tucker raised Junior, but that was back in Blood Gulch surrounded by a bunch of fuckers who couldn’t shoot their own foot if they tried. Out here there’s a real war going on. What if Tucker makes a bad call during battle? What if he gets Caboose killed?

Just like he got Wash killed.

Then he’ll be alone.

#

Over the years, this is what Tucker’s grown used to: a hard-plastic chair beside a hospital bed. White walls and too bright lights reflecting off metal equipment. Goosebumps and chilly rooms without even windows to help warm them. Pregnant silence punctuated by the digital chirp of machines.

Why do the two of them always end up here?

This time around there is one thing different.

Tucker will never admit this to anyone on the pain of death but sometimes after Wash falls asleep in the infirmary, the teal soldier stays in his chair beside the bed for another hour. Tucker watches how the Freelancer’s expression softens in his sleep, how his eyelids stir while he dreams. Then Tucker closes his eyes so the only thing he’s aware of is the even whisper of Wash breathing in and out. And he pretends they’re somewhere else–anywhere besides a hospital room on a war-torn planet. He pretends Wash is okay and is sleeping naturally without the help of a boatload of painkillers. Caboose is in the other room and the Reds are outside doing their thing. And everything’s good.

Tucker can’t do that here.

The ventilator keeping Wash alive sucks in loud, hollow gasps one after another in a constant beat. Air rushes through tubes snaking from the machine, past the man’s lips, and down into his lungs. Wash’s chest rises and falls with wheezes that sound distinctly lifeless. They’re more like death rattles than breathing.

So instead, Tucker sits by the edge of the bed, eyes locked on Wash’s limp hand as the sim trooper grips it tight with both of his own.

Tucker lets loose a shuddering breath, his shoulders slumping.

“Hey, dude–” He starts but chokes. The words can’t quite make it out around the lump in his throat.

Tucker coughs and tries again. “Hey, so… it’s me. I don’t actually know if you can hear me or not since you’re in a teensy bit of a coma. I asked Grey but she started speaking, like, science at me and sent me thirteen separate medical studies on the awareness of coma patients.”

Tucker runs a hand through his hair and scratches the back of his neck.

“I think, like, half are convinced you can hear me right now, and the other half are convinced you’re dead to the world. So, there’s a fifty percent chance you’ll hear this and that’s better than nothing, I guess.”

Tucker snorts to himself. “Yeah, I know thirteen doesn’t really work out to fifty-fifty. I knew you’d have a problem with my math, but… hey…” His eyes sting.

“Why don’t you wake up and do something about it?”

And just like that Tucker is crying. Full on crying with tears rolling down his face and breath hitching in his throat as he tries to speak around the sobs.

“Fuck you, dude. God, just… Fuck you.”

Tucker’s leaning over the edge of the bed, hands wrapped around Wash’s like the sim trooper’s scared it will slip away. His grip is slick with tears as he presses their joined hands to his forehead.

“T-they told me you kept asking if everyone was okay.” Tucker gulped. “Which is bull-fucking-shit because–yes. Everyone’s fine, but that's–that’s not right.”

Tucker sucks in breath after breath. He’s a mess. He can’t stop the tears flowing, and his nose is stuffed up, and his voice is strangled.

“Because you aren’t okay,” Tucker croaks, eyes scrunched shut as he presses his cheek to the back of the Freelancer’s hand. “And–and if you’re not okay, everyone is not okay. You hear me, you fucking idiot? Don’t ask if everyone’s alright because you’re part of everyone…”

Don’t ask if everything’s okay because you’re everything.

Tucker never gets that last part out. He’s too distracted because at that moment he squeezes Wash’s hand.

And Wash squeezes back.

[kihocrystal]

Spring 2018 - Final Impressions

Sorry this post is so late (again)! I had a *really* busy July, which really didn’t help at all. But anyway, here’s my thoughts on the shows that I finished this past season! All but one are sequels, though (and the one non-sequel was a carryover from last season)... Don’t worry, I’ll watch stuff like Megalobox and Hinamatsuri eventually! :’D

All “reviews” are listed in alphabetical order!

Amanchu! Advance - 8.0 / 10 (B-)

I liked season 2 as a whole! (Except for one episode / thing…)

QUEERBAITING SUCKS

I dunno if this is the fault of the anime or the source material…

…but this is still the most blatant example I’ve ever watched >_>

episode 11 didn’t need to happen!!! Why couldn’t Kokoro just… be a girl

or y’know, just let Pikari and Teko continue to “love” each other as they have! OTL

maybe why it annoyed me so much is that it’s like… a total bait & switch that went on for 2 SEASONS

to be fair, the reveal kinda went over my head? But when r/anime pointed it out, that’s when the salt began :/

yet the finale still has them blushing over reading thank you notes? It’s like this show wants its cake & eat it too

at the end of the day, the Kokoro stuff just… got in the way of Teko & Pikari’s interactions, platonic or not >_>

Also I’m one of the few people who actually liked the Peter arc

and it gave Ai some spotlight time!!!

it’s nice to have a little story arc to change things up (as opposed to an episodic structure)

(though I understand why many didn’t care for it… it leans a lot more towards supernatural than usual)

IMO they at least gave precedent w/ that one lucid dreaming episode w/ Teko, though

AND THERE’S ACTUAL SCUBA DIVING THIS TIME \o/

the underwater moments can be very magical… definitely the visual highlight

And the cast of characters is still enjoyable to watch too~ (def. a good group dynamic there)

Kokoro is considered a polarizing character for sure

I didn’t mind him that much until, y’know… his gender reveal led to the queer-baiting thing >_>

The finale was really nice though! It had pretty diving scenes and had cute Teko & Pikari moments~

In any case, this is still a very relaxing and heartwarming anime~

It has all the things I enjoyed about S1 here; it’s just the things added on top were a mixed-bag

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card - 8.0 / 10 (B)

EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW IS BEING VAGUE AS SHIT

But at least the mystery is interesting!

It’s just too bad it took like… 20 episodes to start getting any kind of explanation :’)

I actually watched the original series through a r/anime rewatch at the end of last year!

(meaning there wasn’t much time for me going from that series to this sequel)

I enjoyed the callbacks to the original series as well!

(including going from *anime* canon! i.e. the 2nd movie actually being canon)

The visuals look nice! Even though it almost looks a bit… *too* rounded in comparison to the original

I enjoyed watching Sakura capture all the new cards in different ways~

Even though this season was VERY light on plot (mostly), this aspect provided the action~

Also I enjoyed watching the character interactions too ^^

But yeah… the lack of overarching plot development and VAGUENESS kinda holds this season back

that being said, the final episodes set up some potentially interesting developments to come

and the finale itself *definitely* was not a conclusive one, so S2 better be confirmed soon!

Overall, I still enjoyed this continuation for the things it did right! I’ll be looking forward to a S2~

Darling in the FranXX - 8.0 / 10 (B)

Well this is/was a… polarizing show, to say the least.

I enjoyed it overall, but certain things about it hold it back from a higher score for me.

There’s two main elephants in the room with this series, really

#1 is… the heteronormativity

this was basically from the get-go, and in the roots of the story / themes itself

since the themes revolve around male/female partnerships & the importance of that… Yeah

one of the core quotes being “a female and a male aren’t complete w/o the other” …Yeah, again

also the sex-like positions of the “stamen” and “pistil” while piloting also doesn’t help

the workings of this world’s society has hetero relationships as the standard and doesn’t really allow for other options

(i.e. the FranXX piloting, Ikuno’s female attraction not working out in both operating the mech & her feelings for Ichigo, etc.)

at least Ikuno and Ichigo got a scene to talk about their attraction feelings & make up somewhat ^^

plus the Nines are basically gender non-binary but are seen as antagonistic forces for most of the show… Yeah

and just basic hetero things (like sex & pregnancy) were like being attacked in this show (when it’s not in real life???)

there’s an image meme that’s like “no, Prime Minister Abe… this will not get people to have babies” (…agreed :’D)

sure, there are *many* ways you can interpret this show, but the fact that so many people have seen it as such is Not Good

#2 is… the show supposedly “jumping the shark” towards the end

the main culprit of this (for many people) seems to be the “suddenly aliens!” reveal in episode ~20

this didn’t really impact my enjoyment of the show at all, but I definitely understand why people would be disappointed

in a way, it does kinda shift the story away from the themes it was using prior to this…

perhaps the lack of foreshadowing was another reason the shift in plot didn’t go well

plus it tends to directly riff off of certain visual cues from other mecha (like Eva & Gurren Lagaan)

Those two main gripes aside, the directing & visuals in this show were what kept me interested throughout

music choices, visual choices, etc. just really made certain moments better than they probably should’ve been

I enjoyed the characters as a group as well (even if most of them individually weren’t anything to write home about)

Goro’s a good bro, Ichigo went through good development, Kokoro & Mitsuru developed as a good pair…

Futoshi ended up being kind of a fat joke to the end though (& it was interesting that him & Kokoro didn’t end up together)

of course, Zero Two is the one everyone loved (& I liked her & Hiro’s dynamic as well)

sure, some people felt like she had “no personality” after she realized the truth about Hiro, but I didn’t mind the change

Plus I like that this show had a… pretty good ending, actually! (All things considered)

Directing as always was on point, and we got to see everyone’s lives over time (& Hiro + Zero Two eventually re-uniting as kids)

I just wish the main group got to see the two of them again :’)

though I do wish VIRM actually got full-on destroyed instead of a “we might come back” ending :/

and the ending was also kinda like “oh yeah, all the Children sent away didn’t actually die!” ???

This show will likely have a legacy not unlike Guilty Crown going forward, but I thought it ended better than that show, for the record

But yeah, this show is far from perfect and has questionable themes. But I still enjoyed it over all for the things it did well~’

Nanatsu no Taizai S2 - 8.0 / 10 (B-)

Unfortunately, not as good as S1 (but I still enjoyed this season overall)

S1 felt like its own self-contained story, but this season is clearly a “Part 1” for things to come

I wish Diana had more to do this season… she lost her memory early on and STILL doesn’t have it back

she was out of the main conflict (& separated from the group) for most of it :/

she also had these WEIRD ANGLES & POSES all the time… the fan service w/ her was *Really* distracting

the only consolation is that we got to learn some backstory for her & meet her fellow giants

oh well, at least she’s met up with King again and is enjoying his company by the end :)

The Gowther twist is interesting, but the way they revealed it was kinda… underwhelming

plus that *also* hasn’t been resolved yet (like many other things this season)

Some good moments this season were centered around Ban

such as his relationship w/ Jericho, time w/ a resurrected Elaine, and the small arc w/ his foster dad :’)

Also the final Sin got introduced w/ Escanor! PRAISE THE SUN

he’s a fun character; skittish by night and INVINCIBLE by day

The addition of power levels was kinda weird

it wasn’t necessary in S1, so why add it now???

The training arc gave us a full flashback to Melodias’ past w/ losing Liza, which was nice (and sad ;~; )

plus the vs. 10 Commandments fight actually showed Melodias full-on dying? That doesn’t happen much

it was a brutal death too! Hard to watch ;~;

plus they even changed the OP animation to reflect that he died… now that’s commitment

of course he came back later on, but there’s a catch… (since he loses some emotions every time)

There were some good fights, mostly during the “tournament” arc

(especially Melodias vs. all commandments… a sakuga highlight for sure)

The finale had a good stopping point, but it definitely makes clear that the story’s not over

so yeah, unlike season 1, this season *needs* a season 3 to be worth the watch

So yeah, there were some good moments & fights this season, but as a whole, it’s weaker than S1

Shokugeki no Souma S3 (Part 2) - 8.5 / 10 (B+)

I enjoyed this season! Continuing on the darker tone that the first half of S3 set up

This plot line of Central taking over the school is still my favorite plot point thus far, tbh

in other words, shit is finally going down!

…even if many of Central are just mustache-twirling villains :’D

Erina’s gotten great development from this arc too…! She’s not just a typical stuck-up tsundere anymore

her backstory is definitely a harsh one. It was great seeing her gain the courage to stick up to dad!

We also learned more about Souma’s dad! :O

Especially about how he was seen as feared, and the pressure of success got to him :’(

along with how this backstory tied into Asami’s motivations as well

Most of the season was kinda a gauntlet of opponents for the “resistance” to face off against

seeing Akira turn evil (for a bit) was interesting, but it’s a good thing he turned good again~

we oddly haven’t seen a lot of the Elite Ten in cooking action yet???

The final part of the season started off the big Team Shokugeki! …but it only got through the first round

the stakes are definitely high for this one, and also seems like the big conflict of this arc for sure

it’s just, y’know… the season ending in the middle is not a good look, really

at least the ending wasn’t abrupt; it was open-ended but still had a sense of conclusion

All in all, a good second half of season 3 (with some of my favorite plot content thus far!). Keep it up!

[metawitches]

  Adrian has decided to move on from team sports to a one on one battle with Leila. For all of his brave talk about wanting to play a high stakes game, he’s changed the rules at every turn to make sure the deck is stacked in his favor. Leila’s captivity at Adrian’s hands is different from anything we’ve seen before on Kiss Me First, and could be triggering for some viewers who aren’t expecting the sudden change in tone.

Someone, meaning Tippi, Force or Adrian, fished Leila out of the water after the end of episode 5, and tended to her injuries. The action moves back to London for the season finale, though it’s not clear in the beginning exactly where Leila is, other than being held hostage.

I appreciate that Kiss Me First once again shows Leila holding it together while she fights her battle, but needing to break down later. That’s the reality of being strong and good in a crisis. Leila isn’t a psychopath who fakes emotions like Adrian. She’s reserved. Her emotions are internalized, and sometimes deferred to a time when she can express them privately and safely.

For the grand finale, Adrian goes for kidnapping, assault and torture. During the precredits sequence we see Leila stripped down to her skivvies, lying on a mattress, strapped down, and hooked up to an IV that’s keeping her drugged. She rises to consciousness briefly when a bright light shines into her eyes, and struggles against her bindings, whimpering and complaining. Before long she’s drugged unconscious again.

After the title sequence the show moves to Leila’s house, where Jonty is sneaking in through the kitchen window. He can’t stand being left out of the loop any longer and needs to find out what’s happened to Leila. He finds Tess instead. She’s hoping that Jonty has news of Leila.

There was a bit of an odd time jump between episodes. Shouldn’t Tess have some idea of what happened to Leila since they were on the beach together? Or does she still think she can trust Tippi, Adrian and their hired hands to tell her the truth? Given how rushed and eventful this episode is, along with the time jump, this season would have been better off with another episode or two so they could flesh out the end of the story.

Jonty and Tess fill each other in on everything that happened while Tess was away. I could kiss them both, because this is the obvious and sensible thing to do first when characters are reunited, and they so rarely do it. Tess and Jonty are already better investigators than 95% of TV characters.

Next, Tess the Femme Fatale has to explain the psychology of Adrian the Sophisticated Super Villain to Jonty the Ingenue, which is just good old-fashioned fun. If you forgot that you were watching a noir, here’s your reminder.

She echoes Adrian’s speech from episode 5, asking if Jonty’s ever wanted to kill someone. She asks, “If you could make someone do anything to themselves, anything you like, to other people, too, why wouldn’t you?”

Between Tess’ crazy-eyed stare into the mirror and dreamy tone of voice, it seems certain that she has some people in mind. I’m reminded again of the way she left her father to suffer through his stroke. If you could passively kill someone who’d done terrible, secret things to you, would you? Would you feel remorse later?

Would you extend that power to strangers, once you’d gotten your revenge? Would you turn it into a game?

Jonty knows his answer to the question. He’s a “loafer, not a fighter.” Tess can’t believe he’s for real. They establish that he and Leila had a thing, and he wants to continue the thing, but he doesn’t want Tess in addition to Leila. I think Tess is relieved to hear that he’s not jonesing for a threesome, and she decides to trust him.

Tess appears to be sober and more stable. She’s off of Adrian’s roller coaster ride, and, after everything Leila went through for her, has the security of knowing that she has at least one person who’s there for her unconditionally. That’s not a cure, but sobriety and a healthy relationship or two can make a world of difference in anyone’s mental health. She’s tested Leila just about as far as you can test someone.

Jonty, Tess and the car that barely runs take a ride back out to Ruth Palmer’s house as they retrace Leila’s steps. Tess despairs of ever teaching Jonty the ways of the world, when she realizes just how much he shared with Adrian in their phone calls. Of course, Tess was the one who followed Adrian to the island, but we’re moving on from that, okay?

Tess, being Tess, stands in the middle of Ruth’s long driveway when Ruth drives toward her, making Ruth stop. Ruth gets out and tells Tess that it’s a private road and that she’s beautiful. She is beautiful, but it’s an odd reaction. Is she Adrian’s usual type? Is there a history with someone who looks like Tess?

Tess recognizes Ruth. Then she explains that she’s got some issues, but she’s the only one left from the suicide cult who’s able to rescue Leila. She says that at least 3 members are dead. Calumny and Denier are the only confirmed deaths. Who does she think is the third, Kyle or Jack?

Ruth remembers Leila. She says that Leila thought they had something in common, but she was wrong. Ruth is saying that she’s never killed anyone, even though she went to prison for murdering her husband. Either she’s lying, or she was framed by Adrian.

Ruth asks if Leila found what she was looking for. Tess says that Leila was looking for her, and she’s found, but now Leila needs to be rescued from Adrian, Ruth’s son. Ruth deflects and suggests that Tess has been misled or imagined things. Tess says that she, “wasn’t imagining it when your precious son tried to get someone to drown me at your horrible house in Croatia. I wasn’t imagining that he used your game to groom and kill my friends.”

And, whoops, that sounds like grounds for lawsuits. This is no longer a friendly conversation. Ruth walks up close to Tess and lifts up her head by putting her fingers under Tess’ chin. She says, “You really are a perfect thing. I would have loved a little girl. But I don’t have any children. So you see, whatever you think I’ve done, can’t be true.”

Tess is startled by the manhandling, but counters by taking out the black box. Ruth is interested again and wants to know where it came from. She denies sending it, but does tell Tess that it’s a base protocol box. There are only 4 left in the world. She really wants to get her hands on it, but Tess keeps it and leaves.

Ruth is stoic like Leila, but slippery and manipulative like Adrian. I’m not sure you can trust much that she says. Like Adrian, half or more of it seems to be vague and misleading in ways designed to encourage others to tell their secrets or act against their own best interests. The rest goes in circles and doesn’t reveal much, or consists of backhanded insults. The way she went straight to objectifying Tess was creepy.

But the key statement in this conversation is “I would’ve loved a little girl. But I don’t have any children. So whatever you think I’ve done can’t be true.”

Tess hasn’t accused Ruth of doing anything, or of having a daughter. She brought up her son, Adrian. Ruth’s entire argument is made up of non-sequiturs and irrelevant information that sound on the surface like they are pertinent to the situation.

Ruth carefully worded her statement about children in the present tense. That doesn’t mean she never had any children. Saying she would’ve loved a little girl doesn’t even mean she never had a daughter. Think of all of the ways you could end that sentence. I would’ve loved a little girl if… mine hadn’t been such a disappointment… if I hadn’t given mine up for adoption… if my heart weren’t made of stone…

As for not having any children now, all that means is that she and Adrian have legally disowned each other. Maybe the theories that Adrian is already dead and lives on as an AI are correct. Maybe he called her mummy, but he wasn’t hers. He was just a child she acquired because of his computer aptitude. He did say that he was “found”.

Leila wakes up again. This time, Adrian is there, still in the form of his game avatar, while she looks like herself in real life. He sounds as reasonable as ever on the surface, asking how she is, being understanding when she’s angry. Leila stays true to herself, threatening to find him when she escapes and make him pay for killing her friends. He points out that they were really his friends, and flashes a moment of Tippi desperately complaining that he was supposed to pick her.

Then Adrian gets down to his real purpose. While the others were a bit boring, Adrian has always found Leila interesting. He wants to give her something in return- Absolution, because she needs it. She needs to feel everything she did, then she’ll be able to change for the good.

She’s suddenly on a stormy sea, with her mother a distance away, calling to her. Her mother’s voice becomes worried, asking what Leila has done to her. Then Myra becomes frantic and she screams in pain before she dies.

Tess wakes up with nightmares and asks to slept next to Jonty. He lets her into bed. They decide that they have to try talking to other people about Leila, maybe the police, tomorrow.

Jack is in the hospital, in a coma, while Jocasta still circles Azana Planet in her sleep. Jack talks to Force in his sleep. The maid, Daisy, is the only one who’s there for him at the hospital.

First thing in the morning, Saul Green, from Azana, knocks on the door, then takes Jonty and Tess to an Azana office building where he says they’ll do something about Leila. After making them wait 45 minutes, Saul brings in Tracey, who deals with corporate resolutions. Saul and Tracey sound disturbingly like Adrian: (Saul) “There are millions of teammates throughout the Azana world. All so precious. It’s civilization, actually. And we look after it. So, When something has occurred we want to, you know, react. And something has, hasn’t it?” (Tracey) “With Leila?”

I’m not sure they could say Leila’s name with more distaste. They go through the crimes Leila is accused of, the gospel according to Adrian. Jack/Jocasta’s beating has now been added to the list. There is conveniently no security footage available from that high rent/high security apartment. Leila’s visit to Cyril’s mom after his death is now also somehow a cause of his death.

The icing on the cake is Tippi’s live interview with Tracey, in which she has a black eye and seems very subdued and scared. Her real name is Tomiko Teshima and she lives in Berlin. She came to Azana because she didn’t know where else to go. Shadowfax has created this death cult and used the members for her evil purposes. She can make them do anything. ANYTHING!!! ☠️☠️☠️

Tess and Jonty have heard enough and go home. The urn with Myra’s ashes is in the wrong place on the mantle. They realize that the house was searched while they were gone, and is probably bugged now. Well, Tess realizes it. Jonty works on being the plucky comic relief, while Tess takes over as the brains of the operation. There’s a car sitting outside, watching the house. Now they’re sure that Adrian’s framed Leila.

Leila wakes up, no longer strapped to the mattress, but with a sense collar on that she can’t remove. Adrian has “improved” his device so that it’s perfect for torture. He can force pain, pleasure and hallucinations on her all he wants. She remains defiant, calling him names and daring him to kill her.

Adrian uses the opportunity of a captive audience to philosophize villain monologue some more:

The world is so f–ked up that we don’t even notice anymore. Or if we do, it’s gone, in a moment, because of all the other s–t that’s crowding along behind. Life is mostly trivial drudgery. It’s drone stuff. It’s wanking, spending, procreating. You see, what I do, what I do instead, is poetry, really. And I kept thinking I’d found someone who got as big a kick out of this as me. But always, always disappointment. And then, blow me down, an anonymous frump from Rotherhithe. It’s you. [Leila: No] Are you sure? Are you really sure, Shadowfax? Because you do stick around, don’t you? Who knows? Maybe I’ll do good, next time.

Two out of three of the boring, drone activities of life are related to sex. He may or may not be asexual, but sex is mechanical for him at the very least. He’s quite misogynist, and makes a habit of insulting the looks of the women. I don’t know if he’s attracted to men besides being misogynist, but we’ve rarely heard more than a mild insult toward the men, including Jocasta/Jack. Most of them were about Force’s inability to control his anger and violent tendencies.

He’s still rewriting reality in his head to fit what he wants. He’s been in control of Azana Planet and his own life so completely for so long that he wants to dictate it in every situation. He assumes that if he tells Leila that she stuck around for the game and for him instead of to rescue Tess, she’ll eventually start to believe him, because so many young women have such low self-images that he can generally get them to doubt themselves and reality without much work. He’s already convinced himself it’s true.

Leila, as usual, isn’t interested in his theories. She tells him that he’s “a sad little boy whose mum let him down.” He shocks her using the collar, and says they share that experience.

He does something to the sense band as he asks Leila if Myra stared into her eyes as she died. Leila looks straight at him and says she hates “her”, then looks shocked and surprised at what she said. She was going to say something about Adrian, but the sense collar short circuited her brain.

While Leila has a normal amount of anger and resentment toward her mother for dying and leaving her alone, we’ve never been given the indication that Leila hates her. Mostly, she just seems to miss Myra, and be a little overwhelmed that she performed an assisted suicide.

Adrian asks her to hold on a minute. Leila looks ill. Adrian decides that now would be a good time to make her laugh uncontrollably. While she laughs, Adrian screams at her for not appreciating all of the work that’s gone into their current scenario. He doesn’t understand why she won’t play.

Leila can’t be beaten while she’s still conscious. She stands up and invites Adrian into the game to join her. She slowly, seductively removes her clothes, taunting him with his inability to satisfy a real life woman like her. The game background around her becomes bubbling, hot lava. Adrian begs her to stop ruining his game scenario. He shocks her continuously, but she pretends that it’s a turn on, while still insulting him and doing her provocative striptease.

Finally, Adrian can’t take it anymore and let’s the scenario crumble. She wakes up in a bedroom at Mr Adam’s house, hooked up to various medical machines. Someone was in the room monitoring her condition, but left. Leila pulls off all of the device hook ups, then lies on the floor and cries out of sheer exhaustion and relief.

When Leila leaves Mr Adams’ house, she’s in one of her own clean outfits. Adrian had one picked up while her house was searched. She goes to Azul and falls into her surrogate dad’s arms, crying. Azul is the best surrogate parent anyone could ever want in a crisis, and knows exactly what to do. Leila probably should have brought him in on the whole caper when Force came to town.

He feeds her and brings out the black base protocol box, which Tess hid with him. When Leila finds out who he got it from, she wants to run straight home. Azul stops her, warning her that Tess told him that people are watching and it’s life or death.

Then he asks her what kind of life or death problems a white girl like her could have.

I’m going to overlook the fact that he thinks white girls can’t have real problems, since the whole world has decided to undermine the power white women have gained by pretending that now they are power mad, don’t know their place and don’t know how good they have it. Also the writers said it, not Azul. He’s better and more respectful of Leila than that. Especially since he knows her mother DIED not long ago. And that Leila is alone in the world, without the privileges and protections that having rich white male relatives gives to white women, even in the most feminist countries in the world.

Once Leila tells Azul her possibly life or death story about the suicide cult she just escaped from after being held hostage and drugged for several days, he calls Tess and Jonty to let them know that he no longer has a job available because his old waitress came back. Get it?

Jonty and Tess are rested up and ready for adventure. Once Tess explains the secret code to Jonty, they pack up their gear and stealthily take the back alleys to Azul’s Cafe, where they then stealthily go in the front door. Still working on the spy skills.

Tess and Leila have a tearful reunion. Leila even calls Tess “you silly cow”, like she and her mother used to call each other. For the first time, Tess is the grown up. She holds and comforts Leila, then interprets for Jonty when he catches up, because he only speaks BOY, not normal human apology language. With Tess’ help, Leila forgives Jonty. Group hug time!

Azul doesn’t waste time ordering them to figure out a plan and get the heck out of his restaurant, because it’s kind of an obvious place to look for them. But, proving he’s surrogate dad of the year, he gives them the keys to his van.

Meanwhile, Azana pulls out all the stops to try to find Leila and get the base protocol box back. Who’s controlling Azana: Ruth or Adrian? Beats me.

News report:

Reporter: Computer giant Azana International faces investigation following revelations their gaming platform unwittingly hosted a cult involved in the deaths of several young players. Police widened their search for Leila Evans, believed to be the leader of the illegal group, as victims spoke out.

Tomiko/Tippi:We used to meet in Red Pill and it was beautiful. Then we started dying. She had a box. Some kind of special box. She can make us do anything.

Saul: I’m sorry to say, it seems there may be a number of victims worldwide. I want to reassure everyone that we are doing our utmost to find this illegal environment and shut it down forever, making Azana Planet safe again for all users.

The trio takes Azul’s van back to Mr Adam’s house. Adrian’s computer set up is still in the bedroom where he held Leila hostage. Tess asks what Adrian did to her, clearly fearing sexual assault, but Leila says he only messed with her head. Which isn’t completely true, because he also drugged her, which is a form of assault.

Leila asks for quiet so that she can work. She’s going to take down Adrian now. She pulls out the base protocol box and opens it up, then reconfigures the parts and plugs it into the Azana Planet set up. Leila has developed the confidence and the determination to fully use her talents against Adrian this time, no holding back. She spends hours coding. Tess falls asleep. Leila covers her with a blanket and says, “I love you.” Ruth Palmer watches the code changes on her wall screen.

When Leila is finished, she sets Red Pill to “public” and meets Adrian in another forested area that she created and set to “public”. She’s made sure that Ruth is still watching. No more secret meetings with no witnesses.

She goes in as Shadowfax, but with a new look that she created for herself. Adrian complements her work, and asks if she wants to run away with him. They each bring up the fallen cult members. Their discussion of Force is kept vague enough that his status isn’t revealed, which usually means the character is alive.

Then Leila gets to the subject she really wants to bring up. It’s her turn to villain monologue:

Adrian: “This is nice. Just the two of us.”

Leila: “Oh, we’re not alone. Everybody’s watching.”

Adrian: “They’ll think you made me up. You can do anything nowadays.”

Leila: “Yes, but… She knows you’re real. Don’t you want to tell Mummy how you violated me? How she made you crazy, right? After everything you did for her. Making her happy by making her rich. Maybe even killing her nasty, little hubby. She just abandoned you. You had to go back where you came from, didn’t you? I bet that was pretty s–tty. Don’t you want to speak to her? She’s right here. Poor little Adrian Palmer. Go on. It’s been such a long time. You’ve been trying so hard to f–k her.”

Adrian: “No. No, that’s not what it was about.”

Leila: “Yes, it is. It’s another level. Goodbye, Adrian. Go f–k yourself.”

She disappears.

Adrian looks out at Ruth: “See what you’ve done?”

Ruth, crying: “I’m sorry.”

Ruth’s screen switches back to the waterfalls and gorges scene from Croatia as Adrian logs out, then the screen switches to Azana Planet rising.

Leila, Tess and Jonty leave Mr Adams’ house. Leila tells Tess that he was a good teacher and thanks his spirit for his help. She’s having a hard time with having accidentally gotten him killed.

Jocasta’s avatar blazes out of existence from its place in orbit around Azana Planet. Jack begins to wake up from his coma. Daisy is still there, by his bedside.

Leila, Tess and Jonty take a bus to… somewhere. Leila thinks about her mom. Adrian calls her on the phone. He’s angry with her for making him talk to Ruth. NOW he’s coming for her, since she’s hurt him so badly. He senses that Leila isn’t taking his threats seriously.

Adrian: “You think you’ve won? Hmm. Let’s call it a draw. Anyway, a new adventure’s coming. High level of difficulty this time. See you around, Shadowfax.”

  I can finally say it, after sitting on this tidbit for the entire season’s worth of recaps– Jonty was practicing the Taxi Driver speech in episode 1 because the main character, Bickle (Robert DeNiro), who he was quoting, is an antihero who is dubiously seen as a hero and as a villain. It was only an accident of fate and timing that had Bickle killing people the world saw as bad people, instead of a corrupt senator, who they would have seen as good.

Adrian and Leila are both seen as heroes and villains in Kiss Me First, depending on which character’s perspective you’re using, or as Tippi said, which character’s truth matters to you.

I think there’s a remote chance that this is a Fight Club situation and Leila is Adrian without knowing it. We know nothing of Leila’s father, and she doesn’t look like her mother, Myra. Ruth Palmer says that she doesn’t have a son, but would’ve loved to have had a little girl. Adrian pretends to be Leila’s missing father. Leila looks more like Ruth than Myra. Leila is a math and computer prodigy, like Adrian. Azul asks if Myra is from around there, but he doesn’t ask where Leila’s from.

It’s possible that Ruth’s son was intersex and they didn’t know it until he was older, then sent him away when he had corrective surgery. That’s foreshadowed by Jack/Jocasta’s situation. It’s also possible that Adrian/Leila was kidnapped when she was little, and Ruth thinks she’s dead.

Or Leila could be related to Adrian and Ruth. She could be Ruth’s daughter who was lost, given up for adoption or kidnapped. Myra could have been Ruth’s sister, or the mistress of one of Ruth’s husbands. Adrian could have been Leila’s brother who died in childhood. Then Leila became obsessed with him.

Or, Adrian still could be alive, but locked in a mental institution, in prison, in hiding because of his crimes or because he’s disfigured in some way and refuses to appear in public. He could have scopophobia, the fear of being looked at. If he’s not a dissociated personality of either Leila’s or Ruth’s, then I think that scopophobia will be part of the explanation for why we never see him, should we get a season 2. He’s pretty clearly dealing with some major childhood trauma. No matter what else is true, the minute or so of video that he showed us made it clear that Ruth treated Adrian like a tiny slave child who called her mummy, but she wouldn’t acknowledge him publicly. Being kept in the closet like that does a number on an adult’s head. It’s devastating for a child.

He could also be the AI version of Adrian that the real Adrian set in motion before he died. The ghost in the machine. Or it could be that Ruth set up Adrian as a test avatar while she was developing the program, and gave it too much power and ability to learn. It could have become able to control the program and then able to leave it. Once it could leave Azana Planet and use the entire web, anything became possible for it. “Adrian” could have faked the video footage of “his” childhood that “he” showed Leila.

The interesting aspect to me is that who or whatever Adrian is, he didn’t create a flesh and blood skin for himself when he was holding Leila hostage and had her in the realistic VR skin.  He kept his animated avatar throughout. That suggests that either she’d recognize him, he’s uncomfortable with his appearance, or he’s dissociated from his body because of trauma.

Whether Adrian is an AI or human, he could have given himself the fake appearance of a human body, the way he might have for the childhood videos. The fact that he didn’t, and is adamant about saving his followers from bad sexual situations, even if he later kills them, hints at something truly terrible happening to him.

Given the way that Adrian reacts to sex, nudity, and prostitution, my guess is that he was sexually abused by his step father, and possibly forced to perform sex acts for his stepdad’s friends. Denier’s relationship with his foster parent was likely a mirror of Adrian’s with his stepfather. Adrian eventually murdered his stepfather in retaliation, and framed his mother for allowing the abuse to happen, just the way Denier murdered his foster-father and Adrian framed Leila for encouraging Denier.

Adrian saves the women he thinks are victims (Tess, Calumny’s mother, maybe Tippi), but he doesn’t like liars and abusers, like Calumny’s dad and (he assumes) Leila. He was especially vicious toward Denier’s sexual abuser, and heartless toward Jocasta/Jack, a gay (trans?) boy who lied. I believe he wanted to punish Tess for what she did to her father, but he saw her as a victim at the same time. She really was his favorite before Leila, but he won’t allow himself to have nice things.

I think that the theory that makes the most sense is that Adrian is a child that Ruth acquired from his parents because he was a computer prodigy. She had him raised in seclusion at a very private estate and never connected herself to him on any legal documents. Anyone who noticed him thought he was the servants’ child. She pushed him to work, hard, from a very young age, and he created Azana Planet almost singlehandedly. She then took credit for it, including putting her name on every single financial document.

She figured that he was too young to understand what she’d done and was a nobody with no money or power anyway. She forgot about his technological skills, which he used to ruin her life first, and to take control of the fortune that’s rightfully his. After having been raised in seclusion by such a cold woman and hurt so badly, Adrian developed scopophobia, in addition to his other issues. That’s why he stays out of sight and lives in the shadows.

Adrian can’t manipulate Leila the way he’s manipulated everyone else because she doesn’t have the emotional buttons that he depends on pushing. These are the buttons installed in girls by the modern Western culture that teaches us that women are never good enough and must always defer to men and put the needs of others above their own needs. They are the counterpoint to the toxic masculinity buttons installed in boys, which we see Adrian push in Force, Denier and Calumny.

He pushes each of the boys to believe that violence, of one kind or another, is the only answer, rather than using communication skills and asking for help, skills which code as female in our culture. He pushes Tess and Tippi into very feminine roles: seeking out friends, doing his real world communicating for him, cooking for the rest of the group and basing self worth on it.

Adrian is sure that Leila’s big issue is her mother’s death, and doesn’t know what to do with her when he finds that she’s not overly burdened with guilt or mixed feelings about her mother beyond what any normal person would feel. She wants someone to talk to about her mother, a normal human reaction, but there’s nothing toxic in that need for him to exploit.

Rather, Leila’s season 1 emotional arc is about saving Tess and bringing the warrior skills she has in the Azana world into the real world. Leila works through her feelings about not being able to save her mother by saving Tess from herself and from Adrian. By saving Tess, Leila proves that she can be a positive force in the world, not just someone who ends life. In the process, Leila discovers what she’s capable of, learns to believe in herself, and makes connections in the real world.

Adrian inadvertently gave Tess and Leila what he promised Red Pill would do for them. Tess now has a real friend who has stuck with her through the tough times and believes in her. She has someone who loves her no matter what. That support will carry her through future tough times, helping to keep her from falling quite so low.

The TV Tropes page for Kiss Me First has some interesting insights.

As of today, 9/21/18, Kiss Me First hasn’t been cancelled or renewed for season 2. With TV shows, I usually assume that no news is good news for the first 6-8 months, then I get worried that the show is quietly fading into oblivion. Almost all Netflix shows get 2 seasons, so there’s still hope.

As we stand now, Force is MIA, presumed alive by me. He was a double agent for the second half of the season, so there’s no way of telling which way he’ll go next season. Violence is a part of life for him, so I don’t think that someone hurting him (Leila) or him hurting them (Jack) defines his future feelings about them. Knowing Adrian, Force and Jack are in the same hospital, in which case Force won’t be able to keep himself from visiting Jack.

Jack is waking up from a coma after a severe beating by Force, his internet boyfriend, for lying about his identity. Jack can tell the police that Leila’s innocent, but then he incriminates Force, unless he lies and says it was a stranger who broke in. There’s no way to know yet how Jack will react to Force from now on. He could be understanding and forgiving or he could be angry/scared and get a restraining order against Force. But both he and Force are alone in the world, so that’s a powerful motivation to resume their friendship.

Tippi has gone to work for Azana in some capacity. The last time we saw her in person, Leila had left her lying on the ground after they fought in episode 5. Tippi made her way back to London and got the top execs at Azana to listen to her story and take her seriously with very little proof. Either Ruth or Adrian is behind her newfound fame. Either way, for the moment, Tippi is still useful and chosen. Maybe she’ll become Ruth’s adorable little girl who will be sweet and not outshine or challenge Mummy’s rule in any way.

Ruth seems to still be a prisoner in her own home. Adrian keeps her on a tight leash. I’m sure she got a message with instructions around the same time that Adrian called Leila, but Ruth’s wasn’t so personal. Maybe Ruth wanted the base protocol box so that she could use it to take down Adrian in her own way, to get him out of her life. That would explain why he would be so desperate to get it back, even though he gave it to Leila in the first place. He wants to get it before Ruth does.

Jonty is just happy to be here, wherever here is. He’s learned that it’s best if he follows orders.

  Images courtesy of Netflix.

Kiss Me First Season 1 Episode 6: You Can Never Go Home Recap Adrian has decided to move on from team sports to a one on one battle with Leila.

[kayostesting]

Voiced by: Ai Nonaka (JP), Lauren Landa (EN), Marga López (Spain) A veteran and morally ambiguous magical girl, she first appears as a foe to Madoka and Sayaka, serving as a "pseudo-villain" for a few episodes. Her view of a magical girl's duties are ruthlessly utilitarian; for example, on her first encounter with Sayaka, she suggests allowing a familiar to feed on humans and mature into a witch so as to ultimately gain a grief seed from slaying it. She wields a halberd whose shaft can split into chained-together segments, giving her weapon dangerous flexibility and reach. Adorkable: In the drama CD with her and Mami which takes place before she became jaded. Anti-Hero: After her Heel–Face Turn, she becomes mainly a Knight in Sour Armor. Anti-Villain: Initially appears as a dangerous antagonist and a cynical Social Darwinist who lets people die just to harvest more Grief Seeds for herself. However, it turns out that she isn't outright malicious, and is merely a broken girl: her selfishness is a result of her selfless wish backfiring spectacularly, and she later warms up to Sayaka and others after realizing the truth about magical girls, to the point that she isn't antagonistic at all in Rebellion. Arc Villain: Serves as the main villainous focus for a few episodes until her Heel–Face Turn, but mostly as the catalyst to demonstrate The Plan and intention of the real villain, Kyubey. Back from the Dead: In the Grand Finale. Since she died fighting a witch, Madoka is able to revive her with her wish. Bare Your Midriff: A lot of art work — both official and fan — implies she's wearing a belly shirt underneath her jacket. Berserk Button: She threatens to kill Sayaka for wasting food. Better to Die than Be Killed: After finding out the whole Awful Truth and unable to save Sayaka, Kyoko felt she had two choices: destroy her soul gem in a final attack to put Sayaka out of her misery and die together, or win the fight the usual way and still become a witch sooner or later, be killed by a magical girl and die alone. Considering her past, guess which one she picked? Big Damn Heroes: Gen Urobuchi loves to play with this trope. In Kyoko's case, Homura saves Sayaka from her and then she saves Sayaka from Elsa Maria. Then she saves Sayaka from a very pissed-off Homura. She tops it off by protecting Madoka and Homura's escape from Oktavia... by going out with a bang. Big Eater: She's always eating something and it's not Played for Laughs, as there is a Freudian Excuse for it. Blade on a Stick: Uses a spear as her signature weapon. Blood Knight: Unlike the other girls she enjoys hunting witches mainly for her own selfish purposes. Broken Bird: She used to be a lot like Sayaka, a "hero of justice" but then her dad freaked out and killed their family. Is there any surprise she is now so cynical and selfish? Byronic Heroine: A good person with a dark past and a lot of angst who engages in hedonistic behavior; yep. Calling Your Attacks: She never does this in the anime, but in the third drama CD, Mami insists on calling her Doppelgänger Attack "Rossa Fantasma" - literally "Red Phantom". Kyoko says it once during battle, but then breaks out laughing afterwards because she can't take it seriously. Catch Phrase: "You want some?" Chekhov's Gunman: Appears in the title and credits sequences before appearing in the series. It's also implied that she's the magical girl that Kyubey and Mami talk about in Episode 3, who made a wish for someone else. This is confirmed in the third drama CD. Clingy Jealous Girl: Becomes this to Mami in The Different Story. After their separation, Kyoko tried to bait Mami to fight her twice and got frustrated both times by her refusal. The irony is that this jealousy is the result of Mami taking Sayaka as her partner. Curtains Match the Window: Red hair and eyes. Cute Little Fangs: She has one and it makes her look like the predator she talks about. (Also cute.) Cynicism Catalyst: She made a shortsighted wish to bring followers to her father's congregation. When he realized what was going on, he killed his family. After this, she decided to work for herself and only herself. Dark Action Girl: She's selfish, brutal, and not at all heroic. This changes some after her Heel–Face Turn. Dark and Troubled Past: Her father was a priest, but he was excommunicated for "heresy" and the Sakura family fell in poverty as he couldn't support them anymore. Kyoko used her wish to get more followers for him...but when he found out it was just magic and not his ideas and words, he went crazy and killed himself and his entire family, leaving Kyoko as the only survivor. Darker and Edgier: Than the other main characters who think of themselves as traditional 'love and justice' magical girls. Dark Magical Girl: Her time in the show is all about pitting herself and her beliefs against Sayaka, who sees herself and her beliefs as a traditional magical girl. As per the trope, she has a Heel–Face Turn and develops a soft spot for Sayaka, who reminds her of her ideals. Death Equals Redemption: Part of the reason of her Heel–Face Turn is the realization that magical girls are essentially liches, and that she might as well do something to remedy this situation. Culminating in her Heroic Sacrifice to give the bewitched Sayaka a Mercy Kill. She even gets her final moment of clarity, where she realizes that she has always wanted to protect someone. Defrosting Ice Queen: Introduced as cold and selfish, but reveals a slightly warmer personality later as she grows fond of Sayaka. Depower: The third drama CD reveals that Kyoko could originally create illusory copies of herself, but she lost this power when her family died. Despair Event Horizon: Played with. As the sole survivor of a Pater Familicide committed by her father she became bitter and jaded but her soul gem did not corrupt so she held onto a bright outlook. When Kyubey lets slip the Awful Truth, she shows more and more humanity. Potentially played straight in the PSP game if Homura defeats Oktavia before she has a chance to save what is left of Sayaka, thus removing the very last trace of hope and idealism she had left, and triggering her transformation into Ophelia. Died Happily Ever After: Implied in the anime to be her eventual fate, following Madoka's wish. Doppelgänger Attack: The third drama CD reveals that Kyoko's original power was to create decoys of herself. She lost this power when her family died. Dying Moment of Awesome: She kills Octavia in a Heroic Sacrifice which is also a Together in Death attempt. Elegant Gothic Lolita: Her fighting outfit looks a little like this with a Showgirl Skirt thrown in. Evil Redhead: Initially, she is an antagonist and her hair color is much darker than pink-haired Madoka. Expy: Red hair? Check. A passionate and cruel personality to go with it? Check. Introduced a third into the series and as being above the protagonists in skill and power? Check. Lives for battle? Check. Antagonizes the blue-haired girl? Check. Has Tsundere tendencies? Check. Abrasive attitude caused by a parent who went mad and committed suicide? Check. Are we describing Kyoko or Asuka Langley Soryu?note Her first name and long ponytail also bring Yoko Littner, Asuka's Spiritual Antithesis, to mind. Face Death with Dignity: Her last moment is her praying to her God. Fallen Heroine: She was sort of a Church Militant and she acknowledged how stupid heroism is but not even she can help feeling a little sympathy for Sayaka's broken state, leading her to a Heel–Face Turn. Fiery Redhead: As her red hair indicates, she's abrasive and hotheaded. Foil: To Homura, a fact not made clear until Rebellion. Kyoko acts selfish, but it's mainly to drive people away from the fate she suffered, and she regains her humanity through her interactions with Sayaka and Madoka. Homura on the other hand, while fighting for the greater good, is ultimately driven by selfish reasons, and the hostility she received from the other girls in other timelines has left her jaded and cynical. Freudian Excuse: Her love of food comes from her family constantly starving after her father was excommunicated for "heresy" and barely having enough to eat; a scene in the manga shows Kyoko getting punished by her mother for wasting food. Her selfish and Jerkass nature comes from the fact that her wish led to her maddened dad killing the whole Sakura family except for her. Hair Decorations: Her ponytail is tied up with a large black bow (and a hairpin, as shown in Episode 9). Heel–Face Revolving Door: From an Adorkable rookie magical girl to an amoral Psycho for Hire to a defrosted Knight in Sour Armor. Heel–Face Turn: Cements this with a near-Precision Bitch Strike as soon as Kyubey lets slip the Awful Truth. She then dedicates herself to preventing her friends from suffering Sayaka's fate. Heroes Gone Fishing: Homura once meets up with Kyoko while she's playing a dancing game in an arcade. Heroes Want Redheads: Inverted; she seems to be after Sayaka, but not the other way around. Heroic Sacrifice: She does a Mercy Kill on Sayaka so she won't have to die alone. In The Different Story, she uses Oktavia's grief seed to cleanse Mami's soul gem, but this leaves her without another one to use on herself, and she dies while fighting another witch later. Hero of Another Story: She was a magical girl for a long time. Her start up until meeting Madoka could be its own story. Hidden Depths: She reveals to Madoka in Episode 9 she used to love stories where love would triumph. This is hinted at when Kyoko tells Sayaka about her Dark and Troubled Past; losing her family left her jaded, but she didn't fall into the Despair Event Horizon and she kept on fighting. "I Know You're in There Somewhere" Fight: She tries to do this alongside Madoka in a desperate attempt to save Sayaka after she turns into a Witch. It fails and Kyoko has to kill Sayaka along with herself. Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: In the manga, during her fight with Oktavia von Seckendorff. Ironic Echo: When she first encountered Oktavia (Sayaka's witch form), she was rescued by Homura because she was carrying Sayaka's lifeless corpse and had no way to defend herself. When she refused to drop Sayaka's corpse, Homura calls her a hindrance. During their futile attempt to bring Sayaka back from being a witch, a very injured Kyoko leaves an unconscious Madoka to Homura, before stating that they should leave because Homura would not be able to fight with a hindrance like herself, before making her Heroic Sacrifice. Irony: The daughter of a religious man, who battled witches in the dark, is labeled as a witch by her own father. To make it worse, instead of her father burning her at the stake, he burns himself, Kyoko's mother and younger sister together with their church, leaving Kyoko the last of her family. It's All About Me: This is what she claims to be her philosophy; that a magical girl should only use her powers to benefit herself. However, she says this to Sayaka because she thinks she would benefit from that philosophy, and then she tries to help Sayaka against a witch. Jade-Colored Glasses: There was a time she was actually a lot like Sayaka and she wished to be a "hero of justice", but had her optimistic worldview shattered when her father killed her whole family and then himself after finding out people only listened to his preachings because of the wish she'd made. Japanese Christian: Her father was a priest. She seemed to have been observant when she was younger but there's little evidence that she still is. She does appeal to God as she makes her Heroic Sacrifice, but whether this is out of faith or desperation or some combination thereof is ambiguous. She carries a bag of apples during her explanation of her backstory and attempt to persuade Sayaka to her way of thinking. Japanese Delinquents: She skips school, picks fights with those who enter her territory, wears somewhat inappropriate clothing for her age, and lives off of stolen food. And true to the major character archetype of this trope, she turns out to be nicer than she acts. Japanese Pronouns: Uses "atashi" for herself, which is odd considering her Darwinist lifestyle and masculine vocabulary. Jerkass: Initially, she cares about nothing more than killing her foes and leaving people to die in order to benefit herself. Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Her backstory doesn't justify her horrible treatment of Sayaka before the Awful Truth happened. However, her later interactions with Sayaka and Madoka show that, Jerkass as she is, Kyoko is still somewhat redeemable. Kleptomaniac Hero: Implied that she stole most, if not all, of the food she was eating. Knight in Sour Armor: After being reminded of her ideals by Sayaka she became this; renewed idealism but still bitter. Knight of Cerebus: There's a reason why they waited until after Mami's death scene to introduce her and why she originally didn't appear with the other core four in promotional materials. The Lad-ette: Magical girls are known for their femininity. Kyoko is not. Lady in Red: Her magical girl outfit is red and she has hedonistic tendencies. The Lady's Favour: Inverted in The Different Story. Kyoko goes off to fight Oktavia and leaves her ribbon with Mami, promising her to return to get it back. Lady Swears-a-Lot: By Japanese-standards, her vocabulary is filthy and at best is inappropriately masculine. Laughably Evil: There are no comic relief characters in Madoka, and definitely not Kyoko, but try not to chuckle a bit as she nonchalantly stuffs her face with food or plays a Bland-Name Product Dance Dance Revolution clone as the events of the series unfold. Leitmotif: "Anima mala" ("Evil soul"). Letting Her Hair Down: Does this just before sacrificing herself for Sayaka. Lost Food Grievance: Do not waste food in Kyoko's presence if you value your life. She'll Neck Lift you. Magic Knight: Mainly a melee fighter, but her main element is "enchantment" and she can occasionally use illusionary powers. Master of Illusion: Used to be capable of illusions as her magical girl power before the Pater Familicide incident. Meaningful Name: 'Kyouko' means 'apricot' (this ties in to Momo, the name of her sister, meaning 'peach'), which symbolizes strength achieved through struggles with adversity. 'Sakura' is the cherry blossom, which represents the transcience of life. Mercy Kill: Gives one to Sayaka that doubles as a Taking You with Me. Minor Living Alone: Kyoko lives in her apartment complex alone with no parental supervision due to her father murdering her mother, younger sister, and then himself in a murder-suicide. Neck Lift: Performs one on Sayaka when she throws her apple to the ground without eating it. Nice Girl: The Different Story and the PSP game show that she used to be this back when she first started out as a magical girl, being a very nice and polite girl who wanted to save the world from Witches and had undying respect for Mami, just like Sayaka did. But her father's increasingly abusive behavior after he found out the Awful Truth and eventual Pater Familicide left her jaded and resulted in her becoming far more cynical, amoral and selfish to the point where her and Mami's friendship ended because her philosophy developed into the complete opposite of Mami's. No Body Left Behind: Implied to be her ultimate fate eventually, due to Madoka's wish. Nominal Hero: At the start, while she's a magical girl who fights witches and may be loyal to both her teammates and the mission, she cares far more about killing witches, gaining grief seeds, and letting familiars kill people so they can become witches with grief seeds, than she does about protecting civilians. Not So Different: From Sayaka. She criticizes Sayaka for fighting for someone else's sake, but ends up sacrificing herself to take out Oktavia to make sure Sayaka/Oktavia won't die alone. This is lampshaded when she tells Madoka that Sayaka made her remember the reason she became a magical girl. Oral Fixation: Always has something in her mouth. Pater Familicide: In her backstory, her father killed her entire family save her before killing himself. Pimped-Out Dress: Her magical girl outfit is bloodred to symbolize her aggressive nature and the blood that was spilled as a consequence of her wish, as well. It is also adorned with the symbol of her father's church. Preacher's Kid: She was an angelic Church Militant before things went bad. When we meet her, she's well over on the cynical side. Psycho for Hire: Initially she kills witches for their grief seeds and Kyubey has her on call. Psychosomatic Superpower Outage: She's been unable to use her Master of Illusion powers ever since the Pater Familicide incident. It's implied this was because of the trauma she experienced. As shown in side materials, in a few of the alternate timelines she eventually gets them back. A Pupil Of Mine Until She Turned To Evil: She used to be Mami's apprentice just like Madoka and Sayaka, until the Pater Familicide happened and Kyoko decided to be selfish with her magic. Rapunzel Hair: Her messy hair grows past her back. Instead of the 'wealth' or 'high status' associations, it's more likely because she doesn't bother cutting it. Red and Black and Evil All Over: Initially she is a villain and her magical girl outfit is red with a bit of black. Redemption Equals Death: Sayaka's influence on Kyoko leads her to perform a Mercy Kill that takes both of of them out. Red Eyes, Take Warning: Her eyes are red and she is the first indication that some magical girls are outright evil. Red Oni, Blue Oni The red to Sayaka's blue. She's more feral and hedonistic and they are color coded. Also the red to Mami's blue in the past and in The Different Story because she was more reckless and less precise than her mentor. Say My Name: She yells "SAYAKAAAA!!!" when Sayaka becomes a witch. Selective Obliviousness: A common theme is how Kyouko says many things... while not actually doing them. She says she's going to kill Sayaka... but is content (at first) to only beat her up before walking away. She talks trash about Mami and her beliefs... but as other content showed, she at first came back to Mitakihara to try to reconcile with her, before learning about her death. She even made a grave for her. She comments on how normal people are essentially just food... but never hurts Madoka and doesn't stop her from going to Sayaka. She even encourages Madoka that she's done nothing wrong and that being a magical girl isn't something to envy. She talks about how magic is only meant to be used for herself... but her wish was used for someone else, and even after that she uses magic for Sayaka and Madoka's sake, repeatedly. Serious Business: Nearly strangles Sayaka because she threw an apple on the ground. Played for Drama; see Freudian Excuse above. She's Got Legs: Comes with wearing short shorts. Ship Tease: Implied to have a one-sided crush on Sayaka. Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Trailer: Didn't appear in early promotional materials, likely because of her darker nature. Sour Outside, Sad Inside: At first, she seems to be a mean, selfish girl who believes that magical girls should use their powers for their own purposes. As the series progresses, it's revealed why she acts this way: Her family fell into destitution after her preacher father was excommunicated and when he found out that his followers increased and came back was due to Kyoko's magical girl wish and not from people actually believing in him, he killed his family and himself and only she survived. It is only when she learns about the Awful Truths of being a magical girl and when she saves Sayaka from Homura that she starts to get over her sourness, which culminates in her performing a Mercy Kill to witch!Sayaka and sacrificing herself so Sayaka wouldn't be alone. Spell My Name with an "S": "Kyoko" versus "Kyouko". Both are officially endorsed, with the anime materials using Kyoko and manga materials using Kyouko. The Social Darwinist: She compares the fight against witches to the food chain: Witches and their familiars prey on weak humans, while Magical Girls are the apex predators and prey on Witches. Familiars don't drop grief seeds, so she sees no point in killing them before they kill enough people to become a witch themselves. She also applies this to Magical Girls themselves: weaker ones should yield their territory over to the stronger ones or die. She seems to have abandoned this philosophy after learning the true nature of Magical Girls. Stopped Caring: She was very idealistic when she started out, wanting to be a hero and save people from witches. After the Pater Familicide, she's now perfectly fine with letting people get killed by Familiars if it means more Grief Seeds. Meeting Sayaka reminds her of her old ideals and eventually gets her to start caring again. Stupid Sacrifice: The only thing Kyoko accomplished by throwing her soul gem to Oktavia was forcing Homura to fight Walpurgisnacht all by herself. Suicide Attack: She kills Oktavia with one. Super Drowning Skills: According to the 4th drama CD, she can't swim. Sweet Polly Oliver: In a gag image Kyoko decides to disguise herself as a boy in order to become closer to Sayaka. Sweet Tooth: She's constantly munching on sweets, even during battle. Together in Death: With Sayaka via Suicide Attack. Token Evil Teammate: Initially, prior to her Heel–Face Turn, she was a nasty magical girl. Kind of like a mercenary. Tomboy: She's even more tomboyish than Sayaka with her aggressive personality and masculine manner of speaking, but despite that, she still refers to herself with a feminine pronoun. Tomboy and Girly Girl: Tomboy to Mami's and Sayaka's girly girl, having a much rougher speech pattern and being more aggressive and masculine than both of them. Tomboyish Ponytail: Although her hairstyle should be more feminine than Sayaka's, it also emphasizes her nature as a rough Action Girl and looks quite unkempt. It also contrasts quite a bit with the preppy but cute Mitakihara school uniform, which she wears in Rebellion and the best ending of Portable. Tomboy with a Girly Streak: Downplayed; aside from using the feminine pronoun "atashi", her speech patterns are very rough and masculine, and when it comes down to it she's not very girly at all. In comparison, Sayaka is quite a bit more feminine than she is. Took a Level in Kindness: After starting as a bitch, Sayaka's and Madoka's suffering soften her up little by little. This culminates in Episode 9 with her bonding with Madoka, then sacrificing herself to save Madoka from a bewitched Sayaka, and putting Sayaka out of her misery. Tsundere: She comes off as aggressive and bitchy, but there's a warmer personality buried under. These tendencies are more prevalent towards Sayaka and Mami in The Different Story, since she obviously cares about them but refuses to express it openly. Tsurime Eyes: Befitting her harsh and confident nature. Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Had Kyoko not picked fights needlessly with Sayaka, Madoka wouldn't have snapped and thrown Sayaka's soul gem away, thus The Reveal would have happened later, or not and all — and thus, Sayaka wouldn't've begun her Start of Darkness either. Used to Be a Sweet Kid: A Daddy's Girl who made a Selfless Wish and heroically fought witches, who later became a Nominal Hero and Blood Knight. Variable-Length Chain: Her spear can segment into parts separated by chains. Her spear's shaft length also changes between scenes. We Used to Be Friends: The third drama CD shows that she and Mami knew each other when they were younger and were friends and partners in fighting witches, until the Pater Familicide happened and Kyoko decided to be more selfish with her magic. What Have I Become?: Not even she could stay indifferent to the Awful Truth but she takes becoming a lich better than Sayaka. Whip Sword: Her spear is capable of splitting into chains, but it also appears to be able to curve in a whip-like fashion. Who Wears Short Shorts?: In her civilian garb. It's another tomboyish contrast with her fellow feminine magical girls. Wrong Genre Savvy: Tries to start an "I Know You're in There Somewhere" Fight to transform Sayaka back from her witch state. Explicitly lampshades it ("It'd be like one of those stories where love and courage triumph over all"). Considering the tone of the series, it's not surprising that it doesn't work. Zettai Ryouiki: She's sporting a Grade B in her magical girl outfit and her school uniform.