#ugh annoyed as fuck rn
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bruh i just got spoiled cause smn didnt tag a leaked character as spoilers
#UGH ANNOYED#they tagged it as 'genshin (insert leaked characters name)'#BRUH HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BLOCK A TAG FOR A CHARACTER#IM NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT#they didnt tag it as genshin spoilers or genshin leaked or smth along those lines#they just.. didnt#ughhh i hate following character tags sometimes cause of this#(it was recommended to me cause they done a colour palette swap with other characters having the leaked ones palette)#ugh annoyed as fuck rn
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unpopular opinion but i really miss those days when it was all about the music in taylor swift fandom
#time for a little rant because i feel like i need to get it off my chest rn#i feel so disconnected from this fandom lately#mostly because literally everything is about travis these days#like don't get me wrong i'm really happy that she's happy but#i just don't feel the need to talk about her relationship 24/7 like some of the swifties#and honestly it's all just too much#everything is about taylor and i'm not even excited anymore when i see new pictures of her#because it's just too much???#i truly love her with all my heart and i always will but even i am tired and i've been a swiftie for literally half of my life#why do people have to discuss every single detail about her love life#and who cares if she's going to be at the game again#let her live maybe#i'm sorry but it's just so annoying lately#this fandom is being too fucking loud and i'm tired and it's not even fun anymore#remember when the eras tour started? amazing times#we were talking about it all the time and discussing every single detail of the tour and the songs and all#now it's all about her new relationship guys it's not... like... WHY.#it makes me so sad because it used to be different#ugh#i might get hate for that but i don't care i just really needed to say that#taylor swift#ts#talking shit for the hell of it*
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sorry still mad at that allura post. fandom will really bring out the racism in people like nothing else will. we need to start putting bitches on blast actually. block button isn't enough I need a Monetary Compensation For Having To See That Post button
"she's fictional" yeah but your attitudes to black/brown people in media will 99.999% of the time mirror your attitudes toward black/brown people irl. without fair when I've given vehement allura/katara/korra haters a chance they have been aggressive and racist to me and my friends.
it's just. god it's so tiring to see racism fucking everywhere. and every bitch is an anti-racist advocate until they're confronted and suddenly brown people are just too much to handle. I get so fucking tired.
#'jet youre so upset about this' I WAS THE 'ANNOYING' WEIRD BLACK GIRL. im so sick and tired.#anway ill probably delete this later bc its honestly incoherent and doesnt actually make any good points but like#fuck that rn its time for being angry#sigh. ANYWAY.#shoutout to all the weird magical black girls i love you all please never lose yourself#you are so important to me and im so sorry we have to be so constantly reminded that this is the view of much of the world#ugh. i need to kill someone.#allura#vld#fandom crit#jet's talking again#actualy more like jet is tearing his hair out but.
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:c
#i luv my friends ;-; i feel like i’m gonna lose my mind when i’m not living right by all my friends lmao 😭#i’ve literally been hanging out w ppl like at least every other day if not every day#we made semi spontaneous plan to go to pride tmrwwweww 🥹🥹 i’m excited#i just am so happy that i get to spend sm time w ppl rn bc we’re all somewhat free bc summer 😭#also idk i was just thinking abt this recently but like#it’s kinda new to me to like actually be comfortable/confident in knowing my friends want/like my presence ;-;#even then i’m not that confident LMAO bc after sm time together i’m like surely they’ll get sick of me#like we’ve seen each other every day the past like three days#but no 🥹 ugh like idk man i had one elementary to sort of middle and high school friendship#that like fucked me up i feel like lmfao 💀#like girl sidelined me so much for other friends that i just#:l and cried so much bc of that 😀 anyway 😀#so like idk i’m just so grateful rn 😭😭😭#also was thinking abt it recently bc my mom made me feel judged/ made me feel like she was annoyed that i was staying here on campus#when i technically don’t need to and my main/only reason is bc friends#and after that conversation w her i got kinda annoyed bc i was like#i have had so many conversations w you where i was sad af or frustrated that my friends wouldn’t reach out to me ever#or my friend who never paid attention to me when other friends were around#like i don’t think she’s actually judging like me staying for friends but it was that one conversation we were both kinda annoyed idk#and i was just like . pls#anyway 😀 i always have so many friend thoughts i always be overthinking it LOL#anyway anyway i need to be up in like 6 hrs LOLLLLLL pride tho yay 🥰🥰🥰#rip me not having clean cute clothes for this LOL 🤪#ong last yr i tied my hair in a ponytail w like rainbow hair ties tied down the ponytail……#idk if i have those but if i do maybe i should do that again LOL#idk might be too lazy tho we’ll see how much time i have to get ready when i wake up 🤡#jeanne talks#TOO MUCH BYE
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#hm. some choices to make tomorrow#bc i could ask my advisor if thr lab needs a tech this summer so i could get paid to make media and do transfers#but then im at risk of getting sucked back into school stuff#but if i dont then i have to find a different job which is scary. i mean im sure i could find something but ya kno#but i would be getting a job i could just not think abt it when i leave. which ive never had before#and im feeling a bit better now so im like fuck u give me challanges. ya kno?#my counselor thinks i should just go back to ohio for the summer and i could but i dunno#i feel like it would b harder to live with my dad all summer. i dunno. maybe i should. maybe not. i feel like i could do more here#im just sorta lacking purpose rn. ugh.#i mean here i can just walk more places so i could potentially get out more than i could in rural ohio#but that assumes i would actually go out. bleh. i hate this. gotta make annoying choices#but whatever. im just lucky that ive got enough saved up that im not gonna b in trouble not getting paid much over yhe summer#so. could be worse. just wish it was better#unrelated
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Ooooookay so not sure im gonna keep going to walmart to get my groceries unless absolutely necessary cuz the one closest to my house is awful
Its fucking massive. The app tells you the wrong aisles for everything. And there were way too many fucking people. Not a fan.
#also experienced some culture shock going into a gas station and the cashiers being behind bullet proof glass#theres also like. armed guards at the smaller grocery stores#walmart did not have guards#by the time i got to the gas station from walmart my brain was so fried i couldnt register that there was a keypad on the pump#i normally pay inside anyway but i didnt really feel like talking to anyone after walmart#but then i put my card in and it was like “enter your pin or hit enter to continue”#and for the life of me i could not find the damn keypad#so i went inside anyway#and then once i started putting gas in my car THEN i saw the keypad#which i probably looked directly at before but ugh#I FORGOT TO GET GRANOLA BARS AGAIN#AHHHHH#im so tired#im so glad my job requires very little mental energy#cuz i dont know that i have the bandwidth for anything else this week#and its only monday#but i can handle work#work is easy#i mean the project im working on rn is annoying but its not HARD#the boxes are just messy as fuck and it takes awhile to sort through#like fucking hell why you gotta just shove the papers in and get them all bent out of shape#this is a mess#also me and my mom apparently both wanted toaster waffles today cuz we both bought them on our respective shopping trips#so we're stocked up for awhile lol#same kind same size box and everything lol
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nway u cld nevr catch me w th calico hair now n thts on tht
so sad
#txt#n thts th othr thng tht cmes w th place n th game#i hve to find smth else#keep scourng for inspo#n thn hope tht i wasnt jus accidntlly adoptng sme huge blowout trnd agn#i wnt to hve My Own Thngs n i alwys hve wntd tht n i alwys will#n i dnt wnt to jus throw thngs on cos evryone else lovs thm#lik genuinely whn it gets saturatd it annoys th FUCK outta me no mattr th trnd usually#n thn mayb yrs aftr it dies dwn ill stumbl bck on it n b lik ykno wht they wer actlly onto smth n thn it bcmes a staple piece of my waredrob#n its usually accessories#first thng tht cmes to mind is mesh bodysuit#LOOOOVVVVVVV her now also lov a good bodysuit#n gnrl#ykno ??#thght it was dumb whn evryone n their mom was doin it#prolly tho cos i conside thm accessories n they wer alwys used as shirts#n i thght it was ugly n unflattrng on evryone lol#but lik idk#beatng a dead horse#i jus hate whn i thnk ive found smth cool n i lov n thn it turns nto a huge trend of evryone doin it WRONG n i hve to fckn fend for myslf#evn worse whn its a body mod of sme kind ugh#so sad#n also btw yes th trendng calico hair is Wrong#i csnt describe how rn but i will b able to soon whn i find my og inspo#ugh#ugly
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Mitsugi squatting everywhere is the only highlight of this damn game
#paradise vn#pil/slash#blvn#AND I THOUGHT MATSUDA'S ROUTE WAS FRUSTRATING#I THOUGHT MATSUDA WAS ANNOYING!!!#takara is literally just a spoilt rich kid i can't fucking stand him adzuvivefnjn#ugh i usually like to keep the best for last so it's damn annoying when the 'true' route is shit#looking at you fujieda#haven't finished it yet but i got both bad ends and rn azuma just told matsu and mitsu what happened on the island#okay so everyone's ancestors were on the island at some point and fought against the takaras#who have then been monitoring their enemies' descendants/killing them off#they have control over the fucking hospital and with how much details takara knew of azuma's past i'm assuming they straight up had cameras#dunno how far it'll go with the 'superhuman' strength bullshit and the takaras needing to eat human flesh#like if it's gonna be straight up fantasy or a bit more 'realistic' with like genetic mutations from their ancestors being fucking cannibal#even though ~100 years isn't that long ago#unless that family was fucked up even before takara's (great?) grandpa's era#anyway at this point i don't really care about the story anymore#that route kinda ruined it for me tbh#like i guess it was obvious since the beginning with a whole boat never showing up#but i don't particularly like when it just turns out everything was being controlled by some big bad ultra powerful organization#and that 'everything was decided when you were born' and shit#i was hoping for smth a bit more organic when i started playing#like mitsugi's and matsuda's routes were fine if i ignore the hints of 'big bad ultra powerful organization'#i'll just have to wipe takara's route from my brain i guess
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ANYWAY I AM SCREAMING
#no i legitimately scared the cat she is so annoyed with me rn#but this is why i can NEVER be over them#not only the monk saying that line#but the look on vegas' face???????#i'm sorry it's too tender#fuck me god he has had it for pete for a while i don't care what anyone else says#even if it's just physical attraction why else would he look this soft UGH#i need a life alert or something they get me so insane#i'm tearing up every last cushion and all the drapes and chomping through every piece of wood available#JUST INJECT WHATEVER THEY HAVE INTO MY VEINS#i could never be normal about vegaspete my life has really centered on this point tbfh#vegaspete#kinnporsche rewatch
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Well just as you thought this election couldn't get any worse lmao
#ughhhhhhhh im just dreading how much political ammo this is gonna give him#that one picture is like. perfect. in the content of political propaganda#like that shit is textbook#and will just galvanize sooooooooo many fucking people#i went from ! to dread quickly#ugh#again. i wish i was in school so fucking bad rn.#<- IT WOULD BE SUCH A TIME#this whole summer has just made me annoyed im not in school lmao
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goin to bed everyone night
#ugh im being really fucking needy and annoying today and i hate it#i mean i always am but still#whatever im too tired for hating myself rn
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anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day
#its just like atm everything that i need is like . not possible. which is oartially my brain being like We have to do this before we this#which sometimes isnt true but sometimes is#like i cant get medicated again or back seeing a psych or back on t until i get a job again#but i cant get a job again utnil i get my ged <- partially untrue but ged would make it a lot easier#but i cant get my ged until i have a job bc it costs money <- if i asked my parents they would probably help me If they had money 2 spare#since like. yk. they want ne to be able to work again so i have money again and ill be another source of income and they care abt me also .#affirmations . ppl donot just see me as a piggy bank they do see me as a person im not judt someone to squeeze money out of thats not how#ppl view me and its fine its fine its fine its fine . it feels so stupid being scared abt that i feel like a rich person whos like She only#likes me for my money 😭 like stfuuu annoying ass. i just ummmm. have a massive fear of debt and like. ppl demanding money from me#unexpectedly or expecting i am going to give them money. not in like a Ohhh fucking ppl want me to donate not it at all im happy to donate#but in like. god this is dumb. eveeytime i got birthday or christmas money as a kid i had to give it to my parents so they could buy food or#gas or whatever. and it never got paid bsck and it felt like shit. but i couldnt ever say no bc then itd be My fault we didnt have food that#week . yk. my first paycheck i had to give it all to my mom for groceries and we got in a fight in the store bc she was like Ok im gonna go#buy pop and my dumbass got upset abt it bc like. my mom told me itd be Necessities nd like. yk. wtvr. it was fucking stupid my entire family#r caffeine addicts so pop is a necessity i was just. rly upset and it felt like my parents saw my money as just. theirs but they had to ask#abt it so i wouldnt get pissy. yk. and they ask me for money a lot usually for food and i dont mind but it like. idk im rly paranoid abt#being a provider and ive got a Lot of guilt abt like. anytime we dont have enough food it feels like my fault bc it was my fault when i wasa#kid if i didnt give up my christmas money for pizza. or whatever. idk its so dramatic like i didnt need the money i was 8 it was selfish of#me to wanna buy fucking. toys or whatever that wasnt more important than My parents being able to get to work or my siblings being able to#fucking. literally eat. or paying bills. like its selfish that im like wahhh wahhh but i wanted to buy vibeo game wif my bday money i#shouldve judt been fucking grateful i was able to help my family. wtvr. I hate connor. wtvr#n then the shit with ugh last year like. yk. and stuff. and then the them stealing 1000 from me not getting into it b4 i get mad. idk.#and im just lazy now i need to get a job again but all the shit like. as i was saying earlier b4 i started whining. idk. i should be happy#that i get to help w bills and stuff that was my dream as a kid#like ever since i was 5 when i was fantasizing abt my future i was like Im gonna marry a prince and then ill be able to afford to pay all of#my families bills and my parents and siblings will be able to go to college and be happy and maybe never have to work bc ill be able to#handle it and ive always like. yk. when i was a dumbass kid i was like Ill go to college so i can get a good job and be useful. of course i#cant ever go to college bc im fucking. useless. and itd just be another burden on my family if i was in debt bc i couldnt help them as much#if i had debt and itd be selfish. and it doesnt matter bc im too stupid to go to college anyway. idk. i wish i could just fix everything#it just feels awful rn im literally just a drain and my family doesnt say it to me yk like. ik theyre happy imback i think they are
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i miss my little brother
#i haven't seen him in so long#here in greece our summer vacation is for three months#and that guy refuses to stay at home for more than five days istg#he's NINE and is already sick of us what will hr be like when he's my age#he's at our village. and HAS been there for like ten days at least#he's coming back on Wednesday. but before he went there he was at summer camp for two weeks.#bro came back sat at home for three days then dipped again. OH and ofc before summer camp he was guess where? AT OUR VILLAGE AGAIN#like george come back please your sia misses you#which yeah he calls me sia because a lot of the time he's too lazy to say me whole name. when he was a bit little-er he'd call E-nastasia#e like 'early'. cuz for some reason he couldn't say Anastasia to save his life#and he has the cheekiest most annoying shit eating grin every time he greets me with an insult that he THINKS is cool but it just solidifie#that he's nine years old#i wanna hug him#so so so bad#and the mf refuses to sit still so i can barely ever cuddle the fucker ugh couldn't he be as cuddly as our cousins are#i MISS HIM#there's a thorn missing from my side. put him back#i finished rewatching#hxh#and every time alluka and killua were in a scene together i was foaming at the mouth out of cuteness aggression and unbridled jealousy#currently rewatching#the dragon prince#and seeing ezran and callum being all adorable has me feeling thirty types of melancholic#siblings#little brothers are so fucking irritating and i want mine back rn#my little brother
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Oh my fucking god I smashed the summit mask back in act three. What the fuck.
#pf wotr#I ACTUALLY WANTED TO DO HER FUCKING QUEST GOD DAMMIT#ugh i wish i played on pc then i could jusy glitch it in#im. so annoyed rn oh my god#i may just watch a playthrough of it or something#WHY CAN YOU SMASH A QUEST ITEM. WHOS IDEA WAS THAT
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#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
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You know
For once in my life
I dont dread going to work
#im counting school as “work” here too#like#i would still rather be doing other things (like sleeping)#but now that ive been doing it a couple weeks the anxiety has kinda cleared#im a lil annoyed at my dad rn cuz hes taking forever in the bathroom and i need to brush my teeth#but im not like. anxious.#i might be a lil late today but nobody cares#as long as i get my work done#and my boxes havent had any mistakes so far so i dont usually have to talk to anyone unless i have a question#omg#why is he taking a shower#DUDE#i havent left yet#i need to brush my teeth#eh#i wear a mask and dont talk to people much so its probably not a necessity#but fuck man#did you forget i got shit to do in there too???#you dont have any place you need to be this early you could literally wait until after ive left#youre interrupting the routine man i dont appreciate it#ugh alright no tooth brushing today
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