#no i legitimately scared the cat she is so annoyed with me rn

[yinwaryuri]

ANYWAY I AM SCREAMING

[kateofthecanals]

Okay let’s talk about The Scene™

So lemme preface this by saying that I know there are a lot of you out there who are just happy to have SOMETHING and would rather just take it for what it is, and that’s totally fine, I get it. Part of me would love to do the same, but.... if you’ve been following this blog for more than a millisecond, you already know that’s not how I roll. ;-)

I’m going to break down the scene moment by moment and give my thoughts along the way. Join me, won’t you?

For starters, let’s set the scene. It’s after the battle, winter is officially over, all the dead have been burned (you know, that famous Northern tradition...?). Sansa has a good sob over Theon’s corpse. Remember how I said a few days ago that they were just playing hot potato with Sansa at this point, passing her around all the eligible bachelors of Winterfell? WELL...

Next we cut to the Great Hall where things are kind of... awkward? Everyone’s just kinda sitting around, keeping to themselves... Jon is sitting between Sansa and Dany and staring at Dany with these dumb puppy eyes, which, lbr, sums up his whole character. 

Now you know how Ghost feels, ya dick...

Sandor is doing what he does best -- sitting by himself, stuffing his face with booze and (presumably) chicken. Gendry asks him if he’s seen Arya, and apparently Sandor knows that they boned?? How?? Who the hell would have told him that? Melisandre? Anyway, Sandor throws him shade for wanting to get some puss so soon after the battle and it’s like... Bro, maybe YOU need to get laid too JUST SAYIN.

Dany decides to liven up the party by announcing that Gendry is now legitimized and the Lord of Storm’s End... thereby making him a contender for the Iron Throne lmao you dumbass. Everyone raises their goblets to Gendry Baratheon, and Sandor’s like “whatevs” and goes back to his chikin cuz he a rude boi boi.

Meanwhile, Sansa exchanges a pointed look with Tyrion and I have no idea what it was supposed to mean but I am sure there was like two paragraphs of “subtext” in D&D’s script about it that we were supposed to magically pick up on.

Tormund then raises his horn to the Dragon Queen, but Dany (rightly) counters by raising a toast to Arya, “the hero of Winterfell”. Sandor’s only slightly more impressed by this.

“Okay I’ll give ya that one--BUUURRRRRP.”

Sansa is all smiles but then she looks over at Dany and she stops smiling and gets up and leaves without explanation and inexplicably disappears UNTILLLLLL...

Tormund hits on Brienne but she swerves him, and Jaime gets up to follow her, and we all know they’re going to do it. Tormund is heartbroken, so naturally he pours his heart out to his BFF... Sandor. This is the second time tonight Sandor is listening to a guy lament about his sex life. Naturally Sandor is annoyed af. 

He’s seriously considering jumping into the hearth rn...

Tormund gets over Brienne pretty quick, though, when a couple of Northern groupies approach the table and are like WILD THANG I THINK I LOVE YOU and he’s like SOLD! 

Meanwhile, we finally see Sansa again, standing somewhere nearby watching all this like:

Again, I must reiterate that we haven’t seen Sansa since she randomly left the table after looking at Dany like 5 minutes ago. Is this where she’s been? Has she been discreetly watching Sandor this whole time??

Tormund’s like YOU COMIN’ CLEGANE? And Sandor like NOPE still got some drinking to do. So Tormund fucks off with his groupie and the other one pops a squat next to Sandor and proceeds to hit on him.

Gotta get dat Hounddong...

Sansa is still watching Sandor, looking at him like he’s GODDAMN SNACK

“Has he been here the whole time?? Weird...”

Groupie #2 tries to make a move but Sandor tells her to fuck off and she does. Sansa is like (Now I make my move...)

Sansa sits down across from Sandor and says “She could have made you happy. For a little while.” Sandor replies, “Only one thing could make me happy.” When she asks what, he says, “That’s my fucking business.”

Now, I know some of y’all are thinking this is a callback to Sandor telling Arya that fucking Sansa “bloody” would have been at least “one happy memory.” Buuuut I honestly think he was talking about Cleganebowl here. The implication is that not even the offer of free sex is enough to satisfy the Hound’s lusts. Which... sigh, okay, look, y’all know my stance on (book)Sandor’s sexual proclivities, so him blowing off a random groupie is NOT, imo, out of character for him. And if this were indeed the books, I definitely think his line about “one thing” that could make him happy, especially directed at Sansa, would indeed mean what I think y’all want it to mean. But this is GoT, so... no.

Now, him saying “That’s my fucking business” at first made me a little annoyed, but, hey, he’s always been rough-tongued with her. What really counted here, to me, is that she didn’t react to it. While she would have been justified in being like “don’t speak to me that way, asshole”, her face kinda said to me that she knows his gruff exterior is just that, and she knows better. And he knows she knows better. They have history. She’s seen him at his most vulnerable. She’s not gonna give him the satisfaction of reacting to his shittery. 

At least, that’s my headcanon. In D&D’s head, she probably thinks his asshole ways are super Badass now or whatever...

Anyway, after a few seconds of eye-fucking, Sandor says that there was a time when she couldn’t look at him (which... wasn’t really a thing on the show?). She says she’s seen much worse than him since. He then proceeds to say that he “heard” about what happened to her (really? how? when? from who? Bran??) and that he heard she’d been “broken in rough”.... and.... just.... excuse me while I vomit??? Now we know that Sanford has no skills at speaking to rape victims, but this was just soooo unnecessarily vile. Especially considering this is the girl whom he had spent TWO SEASONS protecting, one of those incidents being an ATTEMPTED RAPE??? The Sandor I know, the Sandor who told Sansa “no one would ever hurt you again or I’d kill them”, would rip Ramsay’s dick off with his bare hands. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you. I should have been there.” -- what Sandor SHOULD have fucking said.

But Sansa assures him that she took care of Ramsay himself. He asks how, and she says... “Hounds.” This makes him laugh, which... that’s nice? I guess? 

I hope D&D don’t think they are gonna retcon Ramsay’s murder and claim that that was a direct reference to her connection with the Hound or anything because it totally fucking wasn’t. 

But anyway, yay for Sansa making Sandor laugh and smile. He then says, “You’ve change, little bird.” She doesn’t respond. Then he goes and makes things worse by saying that none of that would have happened to her if she’d just come with him when he left King’s Landing.

Um, first of all, NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT, and second, EXCUSE me, are you GUILT-TRIPPING A RAPE VICTIM?? Are you really “I told you so”ing her????? What the FUCK???

Oh but if you thought it couldn’t POSSIBLY get worse than that, then you don’t know D&D. Sansa then reassures him and the world that if she hadn’t gotten raped and abused and manipulated, she would have stayed a “little bird” forever. Yep, there it is -- Sansa NEEDED to be traumatized in the worst possibly ways in order to be strong. FUCK. THIS. SHOW.

This was all said during The Hand Touch. Complete with a little thumb rub. Yes, I flailed when that happened and scared my cats. I have been watching the gif of it over and over it again. But watching it again in context.... what was the point?? Are we supposed to infer that she’s assuring him that she made the right decision? Why? He doesn’t seem like he NEEDS that reassurance. The whole exchange just makes NO DAMN SENSE. I know we loathe the Sansa Apology Tour, but even her apologizing for not going with him when she had the chance would have been 18764% better than THIS.

So then some more eye-fucking ensues, Sansa slowly rises to her feet, complete with a subtle little lip lick, and slinks away in a very “come follow me” way.... but he doesn’t.

So again, I have to ask, WHAT WAS THE POINT? Sandor’s two previous conversations leading up to this revolved around sex, Sansa was pointedly watching him reject another girl’s advances... and now you’re still gonna give me blue balls??? The 2 people in Winterfell who could use a good, consenting lay the most, and they just... walk away?? Sandor is bouncing off to what is probably his death, he even said in Season 4 that banging Sansa would be his only happy memory, she’s RIGHT THERE caressing his hand and licking her lips... but he’s just gonna sit there drinking alone all night??

Like literally you don’t even have to show anything (even though the Jaime & Brienne scene is exactly how the Sandor & Sansa scene should have ended), just have her get up and then he sits there for a second before saying “ah what the fuck” and gets up to follow her... and that’s it! We’d get it! And then HOORAY for Sandor & Sansa getting laid finally! Would that have been so hard??

But nah. Tbh this scene seemed like a throwaway, in the same vein as the Ghost scene -- just get it out of the way as quickly as possible so we don’t have to deal with it ever again. It’s more than I expected, but it’s also just as bad as I expected. 

I can’t believe I waited 5 years for a SanSan reunion and they just used it as another excuse to justify Sansa’s rape.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

*HEAVY BREATHING* CYBERVERSE S2 EPISODE 11  AND 12  WATCH

I GOT SPOILED BY THE THUMBNAIL, I THINK MY BOY SKYFIRE IS FINALLY GOING TO SHOW UP!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“This Seeker Seeker” Wheeljack you DORK

Teletron X: We are under attack! :D

IM LOSING IT, OPTIMUS SAID “STARSCREAM” IN THE SAME ANNOYED / HARASSED TONE THAT MEGATRON ALWAYS USES WHEN HE SAYS “STARSCREAM”, THAT”S KILLING ME

LMAO MEGATRON LITERALLY YELLS “STARSCREAM” IN THE NEXT SCENE, MAN I LOVE THIS SHOW

JETFIRE!!!!!!

HES FRICKIN BRITISH

I MEAN HE’S NOT BRITISH-BRITISH, BUT HE”S LIKE A KNIGHT DORK

THE JETFIRE AND SIRFETCH’D REVEAL HAPPENED IN THE SAME WEEK...AND THEY’RE BOTH DORKY KNIGHTS... *illuminati symbols while X-files theme plays*

 SKYBITE?!?

IM GLAD THE INTRO IS PLAYING RN SO I HAVE A MINUTE TO COMPOSE MYSELF

DORKY KNIGHT JETFIRE...I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SWEET NERDY SCIENTIST BOY

Hot Rod: Oh no, not him! I thought he died in that supernova! I love how casually Hot Rod says “aw man, not this dude, he’s so annoying :( I really thought he was dead :((((” lmao

OH OK SKYBITE IS A FRICKIN SHARKTICON, THAT’S WHY I KNEW HIS NAME

Gosh I really hope Starscream and Jetfire were old friends in the Cyberverse universe now because I want to know how the hell Starscream put up with him Talking Like That

lmao I love Grimlock’s commentary 

Jetfire: Who landed this thing? Hot Rod? Me: *nearly squirts water out of my nose because that unexpectedly made me laugh* ALSO HEARING OPTIMUS LAUGH AT THAT WAS SWEET....I DON’T THINK I’VE HEARD HIM LAUGH BEFORE....:’)

lmao I love that Jetfire reuniting with the Autobots was so casual meanwhile Skybite frickin plowed into Megatron and Megatron’s just like “YO Skybite!!!”

IT’S SO CUTE HEARING MEGATRON LAUGH NON-MALICIOUSLY TOO, THANK YOU CYBERVERSE

SWEET GENTLE-LOOKING BOY......

I love how when I first saw an image of Jetfire I was like “SWEET BOY??? SWEET BOY??? NICE KIND BOY???” but the second he opened his mouth I was like “NO”

Not that I’m saying I don’t like Jetfire, it’s just that I got frickin whiplash from the expectation vs. reality thing, lmao. He’s still a dork, just not the kind of dork I was expecting. Not really my thing, but I’m interested in seeing how they take his character regardless. Who knows! I’ll keep an open mind, even if this character trope isn’t one I’m typically interested in.

OH SHOOT HE JUST BIT JETFIRE’S WING, BRO U GOOD?????

THUNDERCRACKER!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Jetfire, my old friend” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I KNOW THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THIS WILL GO HOW I EXPECT IT TO GO BUT THAT STILL GOT ME FEELIN SO TENDER

Jetfire: Our friendship ended long ago, Starscream Starscream, slowly retracting his hand and turning his back: No matter Me, bawling my eyes out: HE WENT DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND OFFERED YOU HIS HAND JETFIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE HE’D DO THAT FOR!!!!!!!!!

JETFIRE YOU’RE SUCH A MORON

Starscream: My old friend! Jetfire: I don’t want to play with you! Starscream: No wait look, I’ve got a cool toy that’ll help you beat up your new boyfri---I mean, enemy Jetfire: OH????

Starscream what are you playing at. I mean obviously it’s nothing good but

OH SHOOT THEY TOOK OUT EACH OTHER’S TEAM LEADERS

Megatron goes from surprised to concerned in .2 seconds and BOY DOES THAT SURE KILL ME

AND THE WAY HE SAYS “OPTIMUS”, WAILS!!!!!!

Also I can’t believe they can casually call each other up like this, like it’s no big deal. Idiot ex boyfriends who never got around to deleting each other’s numbers, smh

OH MY GOSH IS THAT THE ARENA!!!!!!!!!!!! OK I KNOW THAT’S NOT KAON’S ARENA BUT AHHHHHH

Man the Allspark upgrade is a great narrative way for Cyberverse to get around Hasbro’s “Hey we need a new dorky armor design for this character so we can make new toys of them” requests

OH NO MEGATRON AND OPTIMUS

oh pfft they’re fine, it’s Jetfire and Skybite who fell

OH NO JETFIRE

lmao get rekt Skybite

OPTIMUS NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man for half a second I seriously thought Megatron was going to reach out and grab him, that would’ve been awesome

LMAO JETFIRE DOESN’T EVEN TURN AROUND TO CHECK TO SEE IF OPTIMUS IS OK, THANKS A LOT JETFIRE

JETFIRE GO HELP OPTIMUS YOU BIG LOSER

OK THANK GOODNESS JEEZ, IT’S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE HELPS THIS OLD MAN UP

ok but for real Starscream, did you power these two dudes up just so they’d kill each other or did you have some other motivation

OH SHOOT EPISODE 12 IS UP TOO??? ALRIGHT HERE WE GO: EPISODE 12

Starscream’s up to no good, as usual

Starscream: *obviously doing something shady, up to no good, grinning that grin of his* Me, fondly: That’s my boy

I love that Acid Storm is the tech person of the group, that’s so fun

also this episode title ‘’I Am The Allspark’’ has me so worried

OHHHH STARSCREAM BUDDY THAT DOESN’T SEEM SMART but dang if that doesn’t look cool

Starscream: Now I have the power to return everyone to the Allspark! Beginning with YOU! Seekers: *act genuinely surprised as though Starscream hasn’t been talking about killing everyone since day one* LIKE, DO YOU GUYS ACTUALLY ONLY SHARE ONE BRAINCELL, HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY BE A SURPRISE TO YOU

I’m still betting on Slipstream popping up and screwing up his plan since she’s part of the Allspark now too

Aw Jetfire’s part of the team now

BUT WHERE IS ARCEE

MEGATRON!!!!!!!!

“Optimus Prime...always one step ahead. Makes it easier to shoot you in the back!” Gosh I love Megatron, what a dork

YEAH GUYS YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS, PLEASE FOCUS

THAT’S SUCH A GOOD LOOK!!!!!

*goes absolutely nuts every time Megatron and Optimus work together / do anything in synch*

KICK HIS BUTT WINDBLADE oh shoot JETFIRE WENT UP THERE TOO LMAO

I’d love to see Jetfire and Windblade become friends just so they can complain about Starscream together

Case in point

Oh shoot this ain’t looking good gang

 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS THE MEGATRON AND STARSCREAM INTERACTION I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL SEADSON

That legitimately scared me for half a second HE ZOOMED UP IN HIS FACE SO FAST, I LOVE IT

GOSH I love the expressions in Cyberverse, Starscream went from “blind fury” to “oh you poor pathetic mortal” in 2 seconds and it’s delicious.

“You’re welcome” OH SNAP

I LEGITIMATELY KEEP HAVING TO PAUSE AND REMIND MYSELF TO BREATHE, AHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY’RE BOTH SO AWFUL, THIS IS SUCH GREAT DIALOGUE

“Why should I? You’re Starscream. You always have failed, and you always will” HOLY HECK THAT’S BELOW THE BELT MEGATRON!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile Shadow Striker’s in the background like “BRO STFU, YOU’RE DUMB MOUTH IS GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED”

COME ON CHEETOR, KEEP IT TOGETHER

Man Starscream’s got such a massive inferiority complex (courtesy of Megatron, among other things) that he had to literally merge with the Allspark to try and feel like he was worth something, o o f....

Bruh we really need Rung in this series, this boy needs therapy

COME ON OPTIMUS DO SOMETHING

NOICE

WAY TO CUT IT CLOSE OPTIMUS

OH NO IS HE OK

CYBERVERSE PLEASE DON’T KILL OPTIMUS AGAIN

Megatron: Who could ask for anything more? Except for your spark Optimus, weakly: Are you proposing?  Bumblebee: THIS REALLY ISN’T THE TIME TO BE FLIRTING

This is such a good screencap but IM HURTIN SO BAD

LMAO THE SCRAPLETS ARE GOING WILD

DO IT WINDBLADE, GET THE ALLSPARK, REVIVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!

Shockwave: I now have 50 more children Grimlock: NO FAIR

SHADOW STRIKER PLS (but boy if I don’t love seeing the gals going at it)

BEE PLS PROTECT OPTIMUS

Wow they really aren’t holding back showing the Scraplet deaths

HECK YEAH, WINDBLADE GOT TO SAY THE THING!!! SHE SAID AUTOBOT ROLL OUT

CHEETOR PLEASE BE CAREFUL LITTLE KITTY CAT

MEGATRON COME ON

OH NO WHERE IS BEE

OH SNAP HE GOT STARSCREAM!?!? lmao and he’s dragging him by the foot, thanks Bee

WAIT THAT’S IT!? NO, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT EPISODE, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I LOVE CYBERVERSE SO MUCH!!! PLS DONT KILL MY BOY OPTIMUS