#tw; mentions of group suicide

[terrence-silver]

Does old Terry have any precautions in place to ensure Beloved doesn’t date anyone else after he dies? Or is it a they die at the same time type of thing?

---

Wouldn't put it past him to put together a very elaborately crafted will that states beloved can't marry or enter relationships, legally so, if such a thing can even be legally enforced, and if it can, I'm certain Terry Silver of all people will and would find a way to enforce it, giving beloved his assets posthumously and making them his sole heir, but nothing being for free, the price for it ultimately being that they remain devoted to him for the rest of their lives, decades after he's died. That is, if he doesn't organize a joint suicide where they depart this Earth together sooner, because they belong to him and he's taking them with him.

But then again, contrary to popular belief...

Terry Silver isn't a proponent of force if there's other alternatives lined up on the table.

He likes people coming to him more.

Of their own volition.

Of their own free will.

Why? Because it's a testament of his power display in someone else's actions.

He relishes the fact that people can have every other imaginable option available and they still choose to turn to him.

He never forced Daniel Larusso to come train under him either, for example. He just made the offer, made it tempting, made it feel safe and Daniel Larusso came to him all on his own, behind his teacher's back no less. He never forced any other student under him, be it Mike Barnes, Tory, Kenny or literally anyone else who ever trained in his dojo to be there by force either. They all came because they wanted to (or had something to gain from it), one way or another. I feel Terry would enjoy for it to be the same case with beloved; they promise him that they'll be true to him after his death not because they're necessarily contractually forced or cornered into it. Because they're effectively blackmailed. Trapped. No --- Terry Silver would want it to happen because beloved truly means it. Because their devotion and desire for him are both legitimate instead of coerced. Because they love him so much that even after he dies they cannot conceive of being with someone like that ever again. He'd want to be mourned, cared for and remembered honestly. Beloved puts that chain of loyalty on themselves because they want to. Not to say he's this saintly romantic. Oh, no, he isn't. If push came to shove he'd contractually obligate beloved into celibacy and fidelity if he could and if he legally couldn't, he'd still find ways to do it --- but what would give him profound happiness? Not glee. Not a perverted sense of triumph. Not sadistic obsession. No. Happiness. The knowledge beloved will love him and stay true to him to the end of their days because that's what they've chosen. Now that! That would make him happy.

That's what he'd really want.

The idea that out of every choice, they'd choose him.

That his capacity for devotion and passion is finally matched.

[justaz]

yknow what…..im thinking about it. (american) gen z grew up surrounded by talk of climate change and actual school shootings where peers and friends literally die at age 11 and that was just like our norm. the economy is shit so we cant buy houses and can barely afford food, our schools were a war zone, and our planet is dying. that was our youth, death at every turn. a lot of gen z (i think i can go global here, not just america) will tell you like “yeah i didn’t ever see myself living past fifteen much less eighteen. i thought i’d be dead by now” and so now we have like no idea wtf we’re doing and we’re just trying to make the best out of our shitty lives.

anyways merlin also kinda grew up like that as in his very existence was a death sentence and if the wrong person found out he’d be dead. growing up hearing from your mother that you cant tell anyone the truth bc what you are, how you were born, is wrong in this world and that many people would cheer to see you die….yeah what if he had the same thought process and was like “yeah fuck guess my death is inevitable” and just stopped giving a fuck. he’s confrontational and picks fights without regard for his opponents strength or numbers bc hey if he goes out this way then at least he was doing something good and standing up for what he believed in, if he doesn’t die then cool he made a difference. that’s why he goes toe to toe with arthur even after finding out he’s the prince of the most powerful kingdom in albion that started the whole campaign calling for his head.

just merlin being kind of like a medieval gen z lmao like taking no shit and taking all these risks bc hey he never thought he’d make it to twenty so wtf else is he meant to do?? live a life of paranoia and wariness? no. he’s gonna die in the end no matter what, if it happens sooner rather than later….well…he never thought he’d make it this far so he did better than he originally expected. this is why he gets on with gwaine so well bc they both have like passive suicidal tendencies where they take all these risks and make all these choices that put their lives at risk bc they don’t particularly care one way or the other how it turns out. real recognizes real.

[martyryo]

mid au idea appealing only to me

[sophieinwonderland]

Anti-endos: "bullying people to the point of attempting suicide is fine as long as they survived"

You would think that this might be an "are we the baddies?" moment for them.

Not only does the anti-endo "safe space," post this, they intentionally invade inclusive spaces to do so in order to "get attention."

Congrats! You got attention!

Are you proud of yourselves now? Do you feel accomplished sharing with other systems how you don't care if they attempt suicide as long as they survive? Does it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

And what of you, anti-endos?

How "safe" do you all feel in this so-called "safe space" that intentionally tries to attract attention from people they claim to be trying to be safe from, and doesn't care if their side bullies people to the point of attempting to take their lives?

Are you all comfortable with this?

[funkylilblob]

*funky grabs a knife*

your going to kill yourself how poetic

SHUT UP

I AM SO DONE WITH EVERYTHING

AND YOU KNOW WHAT IM GONNA DIE ANYWAYS

WHY NOT JUST GET IT OVER WITH

*funky slashes their wrists*

Oh well i’m sure bolb will be happy to burn in hell with you

[cartoonghosts]

not vibing i feel like my depression has been sneaking up on me like I thought I was good for so long and this isn't even sudden and I'm genuinely considering death I don't know what's going in, I'm enjoying life and things are good but fuck I don't want to do this anymore. The trees aren't as beautiful as they used to be. I think it's ending.

[married-2-the-music]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Jonghyun

Since this is a very special review, I wanted to start off not with my “credentials” or with a disclaimer but with a story. I’ve been a casual k-pop fan since early 2019 and a deeper fan since March of the year after, when I discovered Red Velvet. In late November of 2020, during lockdown, I lost one of the people I loved most in the world. I was still a teenager (barely younger than Jonghyun was when he debuted in SHINee), and I felt alone and isolated, and I became depressed. And just three weeks later, on December 18th, I was scrolling on social media when I came across posts memorializing Jonghyun. I had heard him mentioned, through Yeri of RV, but had never taken the time to listen, and I finally did.

I saw people mourning, people celebrating, and most of all, people remembering. The k-pop world had just lost two more idols to suicide, Sulli and Hara, and the messages surrounding mental health had never been stronger. It was this that got through to me, like a lightbulb going off, and I went, “Shit, I think I have depression.” And I started taking medication. Now, I’m not going to credit him with saving my life because I have no idea what would’ve happened, but I try to continue what he did for me. But all I can do is what all of us can do, which is remember who he was, respect the art he created, and continue the great advocacy he started. So, in this review, I’m trying to do all three, and I’d love it if you came along with me.

Crazy (Guilty Pleasure) is first on the list, and immediately had me feeling nostalgic. There’s something about his voice that’s so instantly recognizable, and a song like this that oscillates between his more subdued style and the strong emotions of the chorus fits it so well. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the rap, probably because of the vocalizing behind it, which helped it blend in seamlessly. On the whole, I liked this one! Its strings and immaculate sense of drama reminded me of Taylor Swift’s Don’t Blame Me.

Deja Boo begins with Jonghyun’s classic sound of smooth R & B and his crooning voice. I enjoyed the constant starting and stopping of the instrumental, as it made what could be a boring song far more interesting, and while I’m not usually a fan of rapping or choruses so heavy on vocalizing, I actually liked both here, since they felt like they were there because they fit the song and not because someone thought that they “should” be. The “Okay, next” at the end gave me a good chuckle

It’s a testament to how strong this first EP is that, before this deep dive, I had no idea which of these songs were actually the title track. Beautiful Tonight’s distinctive whistling hook, Hallelujah’s beautiful gospel choir back-up, and Love Belt’s gentle words (and references to a real car accident that Jonghyun was in) all do something unique with what could be such simple R & B melodies, ensuring that the piece feels cohesive but never same-y. My favorite was definitely Neon, though, whose funky catchiness snuck up on me, and I ended up replaying it twice.

End Of A Day has always been one of my favorite singles of Jonghyun’s, and I’m not alone. There are few songs as heartfelt, and led by only his quiet, comforting voice and a gentle piano, it feels like a warm hug from someone you love. Telling the listener to “lean on my shoulder” and “let me cheer you up”, it features Jonghyun at perhaps his most earnest. I paused what I was doing for a few minutes just to appreciate the peace that this one radiates, and take a deep breath in and out.

The Collection “Story Op.1” is so called because it was written by Jonghyun based on the stories the listeners of his radio show Blue Night confided in him; it’s a very special album for that reason, because it truly feels like a group effort between him and fans. I enjoyed U & I’s sprightly piano, interesting percussion, and cozy guitar, Diphylleia Grayi’s gorgeously sad lyrics and strings, the falling rain sound effects and comfortable energy of 02:34 (which I think was my favorite), and the interpolated phone conversation in Maybe Tomorrow. This is one of my favorite albums of his, and has some of his most excellent imagery.

She Is, despite being super popular, is not a song of his I’ve listened to much. It leans more into funk and is lighter than his other singles (Crazy, End Of Day, Lonely, and Shinin’), being about having a crush. It’s a nice break from the sadder and darker aspects of his discography, and it’s also really catchy. I even liked the sing-talk aspects, though my favorite part was definitely the vocalizing in the post-choruses.

From the She Is album, I liked the “you, you, you” and finger-snapping in White T-Shirt, the ethereal quality of Moon, the layers of falsetto vocalizing in Aurora, the intentional vocal fry and minimalistic background of Cocktail, the sped-up quality of Red, and the vulnerability in Suit Up.

I admit that when listening to the She Is album, a part of me had forgotten the reason I was doing this review in the first place, but Lonely had me remember immediately. Lonely is, in hindsight, both gut wrenching and haunting, with its lyrics about feeling isolated and alone. It’s a beautiful song, don’t get me wrong—the piano is so lovely and Taeyeon and Jonghyun’s voices work beautifully together, each making the other sound richer—but it’s one of those tracks that you just can’t listen to more than once in a while.

The Collection “Story Op.2” follows where the first collection left off, with more stories inspired by the callers on his radio show. I enjoyed the calm guitar of 1000 and the gentle groove of Just Chill, but Let Me Out has been one of my favorite songs since the first time I heard it. It’s one of the most genuine, gripping, painfully open k-pop ballads I’ve seen, and it never fails to make me want to reach through the screen and say “No.”. Overall, though, this album is definitely a more subdued and peaceful album, although I might be imagining more melancholy with the benefit of hindsight.

Less than eight months after the release of his second collection was, again, December 18th, 2017. It’s a day that’s become so infamous that in the k-pop community just saying “December 18th” will likely get your message across. It gives me no joy to say that he had a plan; his last album, Poet | Artist was released just a month after he left the world; a final gift to the fans who had watched him grow up for both so long and not nearly long enough.

Shinin’ is the single from the album, and uses a glowing, minimalistic electronic synth background that expands with some percussion in its choruses. Jonghyun’s voice is at some of its smoothest here. It’s one of those songs that’s happy and sad at the same time, and its happiness feels…muted? It’s hard not to be emotional when the song ends with “always be with you, you, you.” Without the story behind it, it’s a simple love song. With it, it’s a promise that he’s managed to keep for the last six years. I do admit that I got a good laugh out of the super 80’s animation, though.

Before Our Spring wasn’t intended to be a single, but after his passing, SM Entertainment decided to make it a tribute video for him. It follows in the footsteps of End Of Day, as it’s a peaceful, piano-led ballad, but undeniably heartbreaking: “Before spring comes, before the sun rises, I’ll meet you when everyone is asleep. I’m okay, don’t worry, spring will come to me too.” I hope it does. Depending on the day, sometimes I listen to it and feel comforted, and sometimes I listen to it and just feel heartbroken. Thankfully, watching it with the video made it just a little easier. It’s good to hear him laugh.

Poet | Artist is Jonghyun’s last, posthumous album, and is one of his strongest. I loved the disco-y synths of Only One You Need, the tongue-in-cheek humor of #Hashtag, the chorus’ explosion in Grease, the ethereal encouragement in Take The Dive, the brighter and funkier delivery of Sightseeing, and the quietly anthemic quality of Just For A Day.

My top 5 songs from Jonghyun are End Of Day, Only One You Need, Take The Dive, Hallelujah, and U & I, with Neon and Let Me Out as honorable mentions. Jonghyun’s work gets a 9.25 out of 10 from me, which is probably about as surprising as TWICE announcing a comeback. In all seriousness though, I know that I’m super biased, but hey, we started with a sob story and that’s how we’re going to end.

I can’t really put into words the feelings I have about this review. Writing it has reminded me how grateful I am, not only that I found Jonghyun and his story, not only that I became a Shawol, but that I became a k-pop fan in general. As Jonghyun wrote in his book (which I haven’t been able to find a full English translation of yet, but I’m still trying), “Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.”

Jonghyun broke boundaries in k-pop, with his openness, his self-producing, his prolific writing, and his advocacy. Both our community and the world as a whole was very lucky to have him for as long as we did, which still wasn’t nearly long enough. He changed the lives of so many people—he changed mine, without me even knowing who he was at the time he passed away—and overall, he made the world just a little easier for everybody else, no matter how hard it was for himself. All this is to say, he did very, very well.

I’ll be taking a break next week because it’s the holidays, so I’ll see you again in the new year for a girl group, folks. Thank you so much for reading, and please, take care. Tschüss, und Fröhliche Weihnachten (Happy Holidays)!

[storythesilly]

man am i really okay

[jacky-rubou]

the way searching my ao3 user on twitter earned me a surprise last night 😭

warning for a decent chunk of them featuring suicide from what I remember, including mine and @seven-stars-in-his-palm's fic.

[chasingfictions]

btw no one make me think abt lottienat coentangled suicide complexes btw. btw!!!!!!!!!!

[nikofortuna]

JTTW Chapter 9 Thoughts

Chapter Nine for the @journeythroughjourneytothewest Reading Group! TW: mention of suicide under the cut, so the same as the actual chapter.

There is a lot of openly crying in this one! By men too, which is very refreshing to read compared to a bunch of modern stuff.

First up I do quite like how government officials aren’t necessarily chosen through nepotism or the like, but instead everyone genuinely has to study so when they become an official they have already proven smart and also have a good amount of knowledge to do their work well. Additionally theoretically everyone has a chance to get a government position as they aren’t barred by status from studying and taking the exam. It’s not a perfect system by all means, but it’s pretty decent all things considered!

Chen Guangrui had the fastest meet-cute to marriage ever, huh. He’s really chill with it too and I suppose this was somewhat common back then. Though for the comedy of it I can imagine him with a bunch of question marks around his head when he gets hit with the ball and led inside the residence. Was he considering that he got knocked out by that ball and dreaming this at any point? Probably not, but it’s still amusing to consider.

Scientific accuracies abound! A fish or snake blinking would indeed be a sign of them being extraordinary, because neither should be able to blink! They don’t have movable eyelids.

A few interesting notes from the German translation. The Hong River or Hongjiang [洪江] literally translates to ‘flooding river’ and the relation to water may implicate the flow of live and destiny. Also Liu Hong has the same character for Hong in his name as the river! Symbolically he ‘floods’ the family’s life with misfortune.

The J.F. Jenner translation calls the incense ring a sandalwood bracelet and so does the German translation, which is rather neat. While the original Chinese doesn’t specify sandalwood from what I could gather, this kind of wood can indeed be used for incense so it does make sense in that regard. Plus it ties back into Xuanzang later! I assume that is why they chose to translate it that way.

Though I find it a little bit suspicious, perhaps a little shellfish, that the Dragon King just keeps Chen Guangrui to work for him without even checking in with his family at all let alone making sure that they are fine, but essentially just leaving them to suffer. He knows they are in trouble because of the bandits too! So he really has no excuse there.

Poor Yin Wenjiao had to have some serious mental health problems after the whole ordeal that happened to her, otherwise her taking the out after all makes no sense. Nobody blames her for anything, which they openly and clearly communicated to her, and she technically gets back everything that had been taken from her down to her husband which is a legit miracle.

She mentioned before that she wanted to atone for things to her husband by ending her life, but I doubt her husband now alive again would have ever signed off on that, so this had to have been at least partially an excuse in her mind from the start.

This ending was actually omitted from the German translation! In there it basically just says she lived happily ever after, which I might actually prefer simply due to how little the book delves into Yin Wenjiao’s psyche and kind of just waves her away in that regard.

Lastly Sun Wukong continues to feel like the main character in comparison to the scripture pilgrim. This chapter was more a backstory of Xuanzang’s family, but not as much of himself. Meanwhile Sun Wukong was at the centre of his multi-chapter backstory at every turn.

[yinwaryuri]

It may just be me, thanks to an unfortunate upbringing and having to very slowly figure things out and get away from it all, but Home School screams CULT to me. It's an unusual one, but goddamn it ticks so many boxes and I'm just watching all of the masters with insane scrutiny trying to get a sense of what got them there.

Master Amin is so set on manipulating these students and whipping them into shape so they can be prepared to "change society". He's a little - erm - obsessed?? Like actually a very scary amount. These later episodes seem to be revealing more of his true madness, and the way GEN6 is tickling his fancy so much he might let the mask slip in front of the kids in a major way if he doesn't control himself.

I don't know what sort of society he hopes for, but he's willing to go to great and terrible lengths to achieve it. Due to his ability to project an aura of curiosity and wisdom around himself, he's gotten some of the best and talented to work alongside him. All the masters report to him, come to him with doubts and concerns, go to him for instruction, etc. They live to fulfill his purpose, even if they seem doubtful in any way, like Master Praeporn.

All of the lessons for the students are brutal. They're given a constant emotional rollercoaster; hope after dashed hope, trauma after trauma, emotional neglect and fear left and right. All in the name of creating a form of trust between the students, making them like friends and family, preying on their insecurities and shining hard bright lights on them and forcing the worst to the surface. It's a dramatic time.

Is this all horrid? Not necessarily. These kids were misfortunate enough to be willingly given away and they are forming incredible friendships amid the harsh environment and their pasts and prickly personalities. Does it excuse the abuse and torture and pushing kids to suicide and feeling imprisoned and multiple escape attempts? FUCK NO.

It makes sense that the master who is best for teaching psychology is the most sympathetic and doubtful. And I have a feeling she's going to suffer for it.

Cults thrive on creating a mentality that outside of it you are unwanted, you can't survive, those outside aren't aware of the truth and it's your responsibility to awaken them to it while preying on certain vulnerabilities. They tell you not to question the authority and questioning leads to bad things. They will create rules that go against the interests of the cult's goals and instill a sense of shame and guilt upon those who do not follow them. Some will use drugs and hypnosis. Many of them are ableist and will attempt to "cure" those with physical or mental abnormalities through some sort of placebo, be it a ritual or a supplement or appointing a person of trust as a doctor whose credentials are unknown. (We've already seen Pennhung be told he was going to be "mentally healed". While I'm excited that he's finding friendship and acceptance here, I BIG WORRY FOR HIM. He is still in danger.) A lot of the time, leaders and sub leaders in cults will attempt to tell you how you're feeling instead of letting you fully express yourself, if not outright saying you're full of nonsense and don't understand the bigger picture.

It's all about the control and passing the torch to someone who will keep things in the same order. It's no coincidence they call each class a generation. Because that is how most beliefs are passed down. Parents to children, brother to sister, friend to friend. Not all cults have to track through your neighborhood and knock at your door. Some just have to start with one generation of believers and go on for centuries until they are society as we know it. And that's pretty fucking sinister.

[sophieinwonderland]

r/systemscringe cringe!

Putting aside the fact that there's not really any solid evidence on alter death one way or the other (I do tend to fall on the side that it's not actual death but is more long-term dormancy but there's no way to say for certain,) the image doesn't specify "in headspace."

This could very well be someone talking about physical suicide attempts made by other alters... and if so, it seems really bad taste to put that on a cringe subreddit.

DID literature reports many systems with complex inner worlds with alters living out deep inner lives. Whether this happens in real-time or if inner world memories are confabulated later is a matter for debate. But the existence of these experiences themselves is not.

And even at the basic level with inner worlds as just a visualization tool, you can assault headmates by visualizing hurting them. Especially with strong enough inner tactile senses.

"What's stopping you from just murdering a bunch of innocent people you live with to make your life better if you don't face any repercussions?"

It says a lot about this user that they went there, and a lot about the community that this has 57 upvotes.

[becauseplot]

ive had arthur cervero for five and a half minutes but if anything happens to him i’ll kill everyone in this rpg and then myself.

[evilestgentleman]

Round 1, Group 1

Dorian Propaganda

basically a lot of people doubt that he does anything bad bc 1. he's pretty 2. he's rich 3. he's outwardly polite however he drives people to suicide regularly and fully does not care, and has also killed someone personally

Bill Propaganda

i just think he should get his tophat thrown in the ring

[thisisabitofme]

tw: death, possible suicide, past experience of suicide loss