#tw: s3lf h4rm mentions
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Gorgeous
kai parker x reader (both 18+!) (shy!virgin!kai)
summary: troubled by his own body, kai's afraid to go all the way with you. that is, until you confess you love him regardless of the way he looks, giving him just the confidence he's needed all along.
tags: friends to lovers, kissing, minor fingering, shy!kai, mentions of child abuse / physical abuse [I can't just write a normal fic, can I?], implied s3lf h4rm, emotional hurt / comfort, confessions, making out, blow jobs, virgin!kai, top / bottom switching, reader is a little freaky, nipple sucking, pet names, aftercare, cuddling
word count: 5.5k
a/n: sooooo... this has been sitting in my wips for over a year. for some reason, i just never posted it. but unfortunately, i have work tomorrow, so i'll be dead as a doornail that evening, and the work i wanted to post isn't done yet, so i'll post this in the meantime. that being said, i think i'm finally starting to get back in the swing of things. i'm still working on requests as well as other stuff, but i'm coming back slowly!
also, if this idea is totally unusual, that's probably why it sat in my drafts for a year. it's a year old fluffy smut with a strange premise. bare with me. 😅
The minute you get back from work, you collapse onto the nearest chair and groan.
“You okay there?”
Looking up, you see Jo and her boyfriend on the couch watching a movie. Oops.
“Sorry. Yeah. Long day. Where is everyone?”
“Our dads went to the flooding company people to try and get that situation covered, and our moms took the kids to the park.”
“My brother too?”
“Your brother, but not mine.”
“Cool,” you give the girl a thumbs up. “Hey Cody.”
Jo’s boyfriend looks over at you, “hey, Y/N.”
“Alright, I’m gonna go shower.”
“Okay!”
You make your way up the stairs slowly, wondering where Kai is. Poking your head in his room, you see he’s not in there, but you don’t hear him anywhere else. Oh well. You’ll find him after your shower, because you really, really need that shower.
In your room - also the Parker’s guest room - you grab a new set of clothes and your hairbrush, before going into the guest bathroom in the hallway. See, you and the Parkers are neighbors and have become close family friends. Though one night after a really bad storm, your basement flooded, as did several other houses nearby. This is a problem Mr. Parker could easily fix with magic, but considering the electric and flooding companies know your house was one of the ones affected, he can’t do anything without revealing his coven. Instead, your family temporarily moved in with his until the county could fix the issue.
It’s been two weeks, no progress. But you’re not complaining; you get to spend more time with Kai - your best friend who you’ve recently started dating in secret.
As you’re busy undressing and getting the water ready, you don’t hear Kai come in from outside. The boy stands in the kitchen, staring at nothing in particular.
“Is everyone still out?” He hesitantly asks Jo.
“Yeah. But Y/N came home.”
“Oh. Where is she?”
“Mhm, went upstairs.” Then she snaps her fingers, “oh wait! She said she’s taking a shower. So don’t bother her. Just go to your room and wait for her to come out. Don’t be weird.”
Kai scrunches his nose. As if he’d ever make you uncomfortable on purpose. “Okay, thanks.”
Quietly, he makes his way upstairs. When he hears the water running, he bites his lip. Don’t be weird, Jo had just said. But she doesn’t know how close you two actually are. Swallowing hard, he slowly turns the knob to the bathroom door, trying not to alert Jo to which door he’s opening. Inside, the hot water steams up the mirrors, making it hard to see, but he can vaguely point out your figure through the glass.
“Y/N?”
You hear him and pop your head out of the door, “Kai! Hi. Come in,” you gesture for him to enter all the way.
He does, then shuts the door just as quietly. “I don’t mean to bug you, I just wanted to make sure you were here. Jo said you were, but…” he shrugs.
“You’re not bugging. Come on, join me.”
“What?”
“In here.”
“But… I’m wearing jeans.”
“Well then take them off, you goof.”
“I-I… um.”
Deciding to give him privacy, you stick your head back in the shower and rinse out the shampoo. The whole time you’re finishing your shower routine, you assume Kai’s going to join you at any time. You haven’t gone that far in your relationship yet, but he is a teenage boy, and he does love kissing you every chance he gets.
You two have done more than kissing, of course, but just haven’t gone all the way. And there’s plenty of reasons for that: too many people in this damn house, someone might walk in, someone might overhear, etc. etc. etc. But aside from the obvious reasons, you can’t help but feel like there’s also reasons that Kai isn’t sharing.
He likes to spend a lot of your time together practically worshipping your body. His lips and fingers have touched nearly every part of you, but he isn’t too keen on letting you do the same.
Kai holds you in place with a hand on your neck. His lips are attached right below, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. His other hand’s busy farther down - two fingers pumping in and out of you quickly. You bite your lip hard to not moan as you cum on his hands. He continues to finger fuck you through your orgasm, not letting up until your body stills. Then, he tastes one finger before putting the second in your mouth. You suck on it, eyes trained on him the whole time.
“My turn. Let me make you feel good, Kai.”
“You are. I like watching you like this.”
“No, I know. But I want to taste you, too. Let me blow you.”
Kai bites his lip as if he’s having an internal debate. “Isn’t this so much better, though?” Before you can say anything else, he kisses you, feeling his hands up and down the sides of your body as he does. “Now let me cuddle you, m’kay? Let me take care of you.”
You’re too overwhelmed in pleasure to fight, and succumb to his open arms. Minutes later, you’re both asleep.
You don’t pry if he tells you ‘no’ the first time, but of course, you can’t help but wonder why he’s never let you even see his body.
“Take your shirt off, why am I the only one exposed?” You joke, pulling at the hem.
“Hmph, no, baby, I’m too focused on you,” he says.
Every time. He won’t even take his bracelets off, let alone any of his clothes. Again, you don’t push him - he’ll take that step when he’s ready - but you really want to pleasure him the same way he does you. And besides, he just has to be hot under there; his face is insanely attractive, arms are strong, and figure is lean. You’re dying to know.
“Y/N?” His voice snaps you from your thoughts.
“Mhm?”
“I, um, actually nevermind.”
“You okay, angel?”
“Yeah, just…”
Done with your shower, you turn off the water and grab your towel. You would just go out nude despite him there, but you know the air will be cold, so you wrap the blue cloth around your body. “Well now I’m done.” Carefully, you open the door and step off the slippery floor.
In front of you, Kai is standing awkwardly. His jeans are still on, but his shirt is off and folded neatly on the bathroom counter. You gulp the minute you see his body for the first time. As you expected, he’s lean and rather well-toned for someone not allowed out of his house much. His arms have some muscle to them, and you can see several prominent veins close to the surface of his skin. What catches your eye most, however, is the sharp v-line shaping his hips, leading to somewhere still hidden from your sight. “Fuck,” you mutter under your breath.
Kai swallows hard. His eyes are red. You don’t notice the signs of discomfort, though, until a small sigh escapes his lips.
You narrow your eyes when you hear him. “What's wrong, pumpkin?” Hurrying towards him, you cup the sides of his face. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“I hate it.”
“Hate what?”
“Hate my body.”
“What do you mean? You’re gorgeous, Kai.”
“All the ew, all the stupid… everything.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t see anything ‘ew’.”
“Look closer.”
“Are you sure? If you’re uncomfortable, I won’t.”
“Just do it.”
Nervous, you step back to look at him closer. “Oh,” you mutter, suddenly saddened. Discolored skin in shades of green, yellow, and purple. Bruises, new and old. Handprints, whip marks, slaps from an open palm, all fading from red. Then there are the cuts, up and down his arms, some on his stomach, some on his shoulders. Clearly self-inflicted, though the bruises were all clearly marks of abuse.
“Now you see how ugly I really am.”
“No, no, Kai…” Gently, you run a finger across a row of evidential abuse. He flinches a little and you can’t help the tear that falls from your eyes. “You’re still gorgeous, baby.”
“Hm,” he mutters, shaking his head ‘no’.
“Shh, shh, you’re okay. I promise. You are still beautiful to me. And I still want you, I still want every inch of your body. You don’t have to hide from me. Hey, I have some, too.”
You peel the towel away a bit to expose several cuts along your upper arm.
He sniffs, “those weren’t there the other day.”
“I know, baby. But yesterday was really hard with my dad, and this was the only way I could think of to cope.”
Kai remembers yesterday. Your dad had forced you to go out with him to visit different universities in the area. By the time you both got back, he was fuming and you were holding back tears.
“He got pissed at me when I said I didn’t want to go to college. He asked me why I was the family failure, and why I couldn’t be more like him.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay, now that I’m back beside you.”
“He’s a dick. Your brother’s a dick.”
“My point is, Kai, that we have a lot of the same scars. You don’t think I’m any less beautiful because of them, so why should you think that about yourself?”
“Because I also have bruises from my fucking dad.”
“That’s not your fault, baby. Your dad is an even bigger dick than mine. And just because you have wounds on your body from his hand doesn’t mean I don’t love you or your body any less.”
Kai freezes, “you love me?”
You then freeze, too. “I, um…” Then you realize that that confession may be exactly what he needs to hear. “Yes. I do love you, Kai.”
Tears that were welling in his eyes are now falling, “why?”
“Why? Why not? Because on top of being absolutely gorgeous, you’re an amazing friend and boyfriend. You’re sweet and gentle and trying your best despite the awful circumstances you’ve been given. You’re always there through the good and bad, and I could never get tired of being with you.”
“Can I admit that I love you, too?”
You smile and nod happily before leaning in quickly to kiss him. Amidst your excitement, your towel falls from your body, and your breasts rub up against his bare chest. Kai lets out a moan at the contact, but then separates from the kiss to cover his mouth with his hand. You just raise your eyebrows at him.
“Feel good?”
Instead of answering, his hands find your breasts and feel them. His eyes roll back in his head. “So soft,” he mutters.
“Kai?”
“Hm?”
“Does this mean I can see you now?”
“Um, I, n- uh-” he stutters over every word.
“You know what? It’s okay. Later?”
“Okay.”
“Sounds good. And I hate to say it, but we have to stop,” you pause to pull on your panties and jeans, “because Jo will start getting suspicious soon,” you have to ignore Kai’s pouting face as you put on your bra, “and she doesn’t need to see us like this, because she’ll tell your dad.” Your shirt is on next, “and then my dad. And then you’ll get hurt.” He watches you pull your hair out from under your shirt and flip it to curl around your face, “and you’re not getting hurt on my watch. Okay?”
Kai nods, “I love you.”
“I love you, too, pumpkin.” You two share another kiss before leaving the bathroom. Kai grabs his shirt on the way out, fumbling to put it on, along with his multiple bracelets. “Downstairs? I need some water.”
“Sure.”
The minute you reach the last step, Jo calls out to you, “did Kai find you?”
“Yeah, he’s here.”
“Okay. He came in a little bit after you went up. I told him you were in the shower, but not to bother you. He listened to me, right?”
“He didn’t bother me at all. Was very gentlemanly and waited in his room for me to come out.” You wink at Kai as you lie straight to Jo’s turned face. Luckily, she’s fixated on the movie.
“Okay, good.”
“I’m just going to get a drink and then we’ll be out of your hair shortly.”
◇◇◇◇
“Y/N, are you sure you don’t want to come with us? It’s a huge festival, it’s a lot of fun,” Mr. Parker asks one more time as he’s halfway out the door.
You take another glance at the amount of people crowding the doorway: your brother and parents, plus Kai’s parents and all his siblings. Minus him, of course. “I’m sure. I’m not too big on crowds, and I’m kinda tired. Might just see if Kai wants to watch a movie.”
“Okay, but be careful.” Then, Mr. Parker leans closer to whisper in your ear. The gray hairs of his beard lightly touch your skin, making you shiver in fear. “And don’t get too close to him.”
“Noted.”
“We should be back around three-ish, more or less,” your Dad adds.
“Okay.”
“Don’t leave the house, and certainly don’t let him sneak out,” Mr. Parker piggy-backs off your dad’s comment. Jeez, it’s like they’re long-lost irritating brothers.
“I won’t. He’ll stay here with me.”
“But not too close, becau-”
“I heard it the first time, Dad. I trust Kai enough that we’ll be fine for a couple of hours. Go have fun, okay?” You had to downplay your friendship to make them think you only trusted him a little. If they knew the truth - that you’d trust him with your life - they’d definitely stage an intervention and never let you see each other again.
“Okay, just making sure. See you later, Y/N.”
“Bye.”
Finally, they leave. It takes ten minutes for nine kids to assemble between two cars, between the Parkers’ van and your parents’ SUV, but they eventually make it work. You can literally hear two kids crying over “having to sit in the back again”, but then you hear your Dad’s voice, “ride with me, if it’s okay with your Dad.” The crying ceases at last, and the cars pull out of the gate.
“Are they gone yet?” Kai comes downstairs about a minute after they left.
“Just pulled out. What were you doing?”
He swallows, “um.” While struggling to answer, you give him a look. “I’m used to hiding during the van-packing process.”
“Okay,” you answer, not entirely convinced.
He bites his lip, “okay, that part is true. I do hide when they do that because sometimes someone storms back in to grab something to appease the ones stuck in the back, like a snack or whatever. But, um, what I was actually doing was… trying to,” he pauses, and you let him find the words, “build up the courage to, um… can I just kiss you?”
You’re confused, but you’ll never deny him a kiss. Smile forming on your lips, you close the three foot gap between you two, hands tracing his jawline, capturing his face, while kissing him softly. His hands find your waist, gripping your hips. There’s something different about this kiss than your usual ones. Something more hungry… willing, maybe. Whatever it is, you let him take charge.
As soon as the shift in control changes, he spins the both of you around so that you’re pressed into the counter, rather than himself, while he kisses you deeper. His lips leave your mouth to trail down your jaw, to your neck, but then he suddenly stops to look up at you.
“Everything okay?”
“Can we go upstairs?”
“Of course.” You joke, “afraid someone’s gonna walk in?”
He misses your teasing tone and replies bluntly, “no, I wanna fuck you.”
You nearly trip up the first stair, causing you to grab a tight hold of his hand. “What’d you say?”
“Is that okay?”
“I-uh-um- yes, just caught me off guard. What brought it on?”
“You said you loved me. And that you liked my body even with all the scars. And that if I can love yours with scars, you can love mine.”
“I did say that. I meant every word.”
“And so now we’re here alone, and I’m going to act on something I’ve wanted to do a long time ago.”
You reach the top of the stairs. He has an arm around your back to prevent you from falling, just in case, as he stares into your eyes for hesitancy. You give none. “Then do it.”
Instantly, your back collides with the hallway wall and he kisses you with the same tenacity he did downstairs. Out of habit, your hands find his hair; his, your waist, but he’s a lot more confident now. Slowly, he inches the both of you towards his door. His hand fumbles with the knob, making him frustrated.
“Wish I could just open the stupid thing with magic.”
“If I had magic, I’d let you take it whenever,” you answer, again, with no hesitancy.
He stops to stare at you. “You would?”
“Mhm. I mean it, Kai, I love you.”
“But the siphoning hurts.”
You shrug, “can’t hurt that bad. I imagine it’d probably actually feel good. At least for me, maybe not other people. Send little tingles all the way down to my-”
He cuts you off with an open mouthed kiss. “Now I really wish you had magic.”
“-and then a part of me would kinda be in your blood, too, right?” You finish the second part of what you wanted to say.
“Holy fuck, you’re turning me on.”
“Open the door, Kai,” you urge.
He finally does, but in the second you take to catch a breath, he’s back on you. He takes advantage of your state and slips his tongue in your mouth, no regard for anything but his and your pleasures. You go weak in his arms and let him explore, enjoying the feeling much more than you probably should. Then, he taps on your hips signaling for you to jump. You do, wrapping your legs around his waist. He carries you to the bed, finally, and throws you down rather roughly.
Immediately, panic takes over his face. “Shit, that was way harder than I meant to! You okay?”
You, on the other hand, can’t get a word out because you’re giggling too hard.
“Y/N, are you okay?” He tries again.
“You’re so hot when you’re all dominant. Well, you’re always hot, but-” and then you continue to giggle.
Kai relaxes, realizing he didn’t hurt you. “Oh you little-” he climbs on top of you until he’s hovering over your face. Legs tangle together, bodies close but not close enough… You buck your hips. There, now they’re close enough. “You’ve been wanting this,” he observes, fighting back a moan at the contact.
“Yes, but also, your comfort is my number one priority. It’s much better now, with you enjoying it too, than if we were to try when you weren’t ready.”
“Thank you, princess,” he kisses your nose sweetly.
“Thank you for trusting me. One thing though.”
“Mhm?”
“Do you trust me right now?”
“Of course.”
“Good.” Without further warning, you grab his wrists and flip him over so that his back is pressed into the bed. It’s the first time you’ve ever been on top of him, and the power makes you giddy.
“I thought you liked me being dominant?”
“Oh, I do. But I also want to see you writhe under me,” you wink at him.
Kai gives you a look, and you know he’s going to start fighting any minute now. It’s in his eyes, and you can feel his muscles under you tensing to build up the strength. In the last second before you think he’s going to try and take charge, your hand goes down to the outline forming in his jeans. All fight is immediately gone as soon as you start to feel him. He can’t even fight the moan he’s been holding back since you started making out downstairs. The sound spurs you on and you rub him harder.
“More, princess. Please.”
You move your legs to straddle him, hands going to his belt. “This okay?”
“Mhm.”
“Words, please.”
“What am I, five?”
You cock your head at him. “Words, or no further touching.”
“Princess,” he tries to buck his hips like you did, but you’re holding him down.
“Come on, Malachai.”
“Don’t use that name.”
“Mala-”
“Fine! Yes, please. It’s okay. Please.” You smirk, not expecting the begging, but loving it. “You little sadist.”
That only makes you love it more. Not wasting another second, your hands are undoing his belt. As much as you want to take it slowly, you’re both too excited to drag it out any longer. Besides, just by looking at him, you can see how hard he is, and you know you’re almost soaking your panties with wetness.
“Wait,” he pants.
You stop immediately. “You okay?”
“I need… I need. C’mere,” he beckons you forward, and you listen. “Need this off,” he pulls off your shirt. “And this,” next is your bra. The minute it’s off, he loses control and grabs your tits like he did in the bathroom a couple days earlier. Before you know it, he’s fondling one while the other’s in his mouth.
“If mine is, this is coming off, too.” You make a grab for his shirt. He pauses, tongue still around your nipple. “Is that okay?”
“Yes,” he seems to decide in that instant.
In order for you to pull the fabric over his head, he has to disconnect his mouth from your breast. But when it’s off, he swallows hard and doesn’t reach for them again.
“Kai… c’mon, pumpkin.” You take his hand to put it back on your body, trying to return that sense of comfort, but he doesn’t grasp your breast again. Sighing, you take it as a moment to get a closer look at his body. The bruises, the scars, everything. A tear escapes your eye, and you lean down to press a kiss to one of the purplish wounds. Then, you start to do that with all of them. From his neck to his hips, you kiss every mark made on his body, whether by his dad’s hand or his own. On the fresher ones, your lips are more gentle, barely there, not wanting to cause him more pain. But on the older ones, you leave multiple kisses, or even lick them with your tongue before kissing. “I meant it, Kai. You’re gorgeous. These marks don’t stop me from loving you.”
Slowly, he makes eye contact with you again. His hands reach out to your face, and when he gets a hold of you, he pulls you in for another deep kiss on his lips. “What did I do to deserve you?” He asks with a tear emerging.
“You don’t have to deserve love, baby.” You kiss his collarbone.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Your lips travel to his chest. Giving him a taste of his own medicine, you swirl your tongue around one of his nipples. He moans loudly, arching his back.
“Holy shit, I didn’t know that would feel that good.”
“Can I continue to make you feel things like that?”
“Yes, please. I need it, I need you. Wait, but let me-” he suddenly sticks two fingers into your wet heat, hovering over his own body, and pops them in his mouth. “You taste so good.”
“Are you gonna let me taste you now?”
“Sure. Yes. I meant yes.”
Your eyes warm and you continue to kiss him further down - this time, trailing his v-line. You had noticed the prominent indents the other day, but are now getting to see it up close. He moans again, enticing you more.
“Princess.”
“I’m working on it.” Finally, you shrug his jeans down and off his body. You can tell he’s fighting the urge to hide his now-bare legs, but you opt to not pay attention to them anyway. Your gaze goes straight to the bulge in his boxers that looks even thicker without his jeans in the way. Mouth watering, you touch him first, enjoying the feeling.
“Y/N, please. It’s uncomfortable. Too tight.”
Succumbing to his wishes, you tap his hips for him to lift them, then peel back the final confinement. His cock springs out, slapping his stomach in the process. You’re quick to lean forward and lick a stripe from the base to the tip. Kai sinks his head into the pillow, groaning huskily. After pulling his boxers all the way off, you refocus your attention back to the length in front of you.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” you mutter. The praise makes him twitch, and you immediately reach out to grasp him between two of your fingers. “Need to taste.” And then you finally do. You start at the tip, rolling your tongue over the slit counter clockwise, stimulating precum in the process. Some of it leaks into your mouth, straight down your throat, but most of it drips down the side of cock. It doesn’t get far, though, before you move your head to catch it, licking your way from the base to the tip, again.
A shiver runs through his body. “Feels so good.” Barely audible, but you hear him.
Positioning your head over him, you prepare to take him fully. To you, it’s a five second break of deep breaths, but to Kai, overwhelmed in pleasure, there’s almost no warning. As soon as you’re ready, you sink your mouth down on him until you get about halfway and your gag reflex kicks in. Cock hitting the back of your throat, you gag around him.
“Y/N, you okay?” He sits up on his elbows, worried he’d accidentally hurt you.
Slowly, you lift your head back up, “I’m good, baby. Just training my throat to take you.”
He swallows so hard that you see his Adam’s apple bob. “Oh, um…” He doesn’t lay back down, opting to watch you instead.
You don’t mind as you go down for a second time, getting further now. You do it several times, taking more and more of him each time. Your tongue swirls around his length and traces his veins. In fact, there’s one vein in particular that especially makes Kai moan every time you hit it. It’s on the underside of his cock, and you start to pay special attention to it. The rest of his length sits against your face as you focus on it.
Kai doesn’t know if the sight or the feeling is affecting him more. Either way, he feels himself getting close to release. Your mouth is around him, head bobbing up and down rapidly, when he twitches. He whines, resisting the urge to hold your head where he wants. Suddenly, though, you stop and remove your mouth completely.
“Fuck, wait, I’m about to…”
“I know, pumpkin. Can’t let you do that yet.”
He’s about to ask why, but then sees his answer. In one quick motion, you’re removing your own pants and lining your bodies together. “Ready?”
“Mhm. Yes.”
You smile, grab his cock to hold it upright, then sink your heat down onto him. Kai collapses, elbows no longer supporting him, as pleasure consumes him.
“You okay?”
“Yes, oh- oh god.”
“Can I move? I’ll start slow.”
“Please.”
As promised, you slowly begin to ride his length. Your hands rest on either side of his body and lips are pressed to his chest, leaving hot kisses all over his skin.
“Let me know if you want to try and take over.”
“Okay.”
When Kai starts to relax, you pick up the pace. Not too fast, but little by little. Soon, his hands find your hips and he helps guide you. His fingers have a tight grip on you, but it only makes you wetter.
“I think, I wanna… wanna try…”
“Want to be on top, angel?”
“Mhm.”
“Okay. You can just flip us or I can move, what are you feeling?” But the hungry look in his eyes already gives you your answer.
As soon as you nod and grab onto his shoulders, he flips the both of you so that you’re now pressed into the bed. With his usual role re-established, so does his dominance. You open your legs wider to give him more access, and he immediately takes advantage of it. With a lick of his lips, he pushes his cock into you, not stopping until he’s run out of length.
“Oh my god,” you mutter.
“Is it too much?”
“No, you’re perfect. Move when you’re ready, mmkay?”
He nods, then copies the way you rode him when he begins to move: arms on your side, head ducked into your chest. His lips attach to your nipples, sucking, and pulling them between his teeth. When he gets a hold of his balance, you feel pressure on your clit, too.
“Fuck, Kai. You’re so good.”
His body jolts, “say it again.”
“What?”
“Name. Say it again.”
“Kai,” you pant as he quickens pace.
“No one else is home baby, say it louder.”
You had forgotten this fact, actually, but the minute he reminds you, you let yourself go. “Fuck,” you moan, rather loudly, “feels so good, Kai! Fuck. Harder.”
He spreads your legs wider and thrusts harder upon request. Obscene sounds fill the room, mixed with your moans and whimpers.
“Kai,” you pant, “need to hear you, too.”
“I’d rather hear you, Princess.”
“Aw, come on, gorgeous. Nothing turns me on more than men moaning,” you admit. “Need to hear you.”
Previously held-back grunts and groans tumble from his mouth at your confession. When his lips return to your nipple, he makes sure to keep up with your request, sending vibrations throughout your body.
“I’m close, Kai. So close, so close… don’t stop what you’re doing.”
“I’m getting there, too,” he twitches again. “Come for me, Princess.”
As soon as he asks, your orgasm rips through your body. Loud moans follow, and your eyes roll back in your head. Kai rides you through yours, before pulling out and immediately releasing all over your face and chest. Some drips off your shoulders, down to the bedsheets.
The minute he catches his breath, a worried expression takes over his face, “I’m sorry! I knew I shouldn’t do it inside you, but wasn’t sure where else to. I aimed for your chest and misfired.”
You make direct eye contact with him, then swipe a bunch off your cheek with your finger before sucking it off. “Oh, I’ll never complain about a facial.” You dart your tongue out to the side to gather more. “And don’t worry, I kinda like the taste. How the hell were you a virgin, Kai?! You were amazing the whole way through!”
He blushes, “um, thank you.”
You can’t help but giggle. Only Kai would be sweet enough to thank you for complimenting his sexual ability. Your ex-boyfriend, to whom you had lost your virginity, threw you an, “I know,” when you told him he was good. This little fact just made you love Kai even more.
Then, as if he couldn’t get more perfect, his next words are, “can I clean you up now, Princess? And then we can cuddle and nap?”
“Of course. Give me a kiss first.”
Kai leans forward and kisses you sweetly. His tongue sweeps over your bottom lip, wetting it gently.
“Blood,” he comments.
“Hm?”
“There’s blood on your lip.”
You run your own tongue along it, “must’ve bit it in pleasure.”
“I’ll be right back, okay?” He pulls on a loose pair of sweatpants from his drawer, giving you a wink.
“Okay, darling.”
Two minutes later, Kai returns with a warm rag and a water bottle. First, he cleans the small sore and any remaining blood off your lip, then hands you the bottle. “Drink,” he insists. As you do, he moves the rag over your face and down your neck and chest, cleaning off his drying cum. He rubs your lower body next, easing some of the soreness as well as wiping away your cum. “Anywhere else?”
“No, I’m okay. Do you need anything?”
“Just you,” he sappily replies.
“Okay, come here then.” Arms wide open, you gather him up and pull him close. You take a hand away for a split-second to pull the blankets over you two, earning a whine before he realizes what you’re doing. As soon as your arm is back around him, he snuggles into your body. “I love you, Kai,” you whisper with your lips against his cheek.
“I love you, too, Princess. Thank you for making me feel like I’m worth something to someone.”
As much as his words sadden you, they also make you feel warm inside. You’re the one that makes him feel that way, and that’s pretty fucking special.
“Always, my sweetheart.” You give him a kiss to the cheek, keeping your lips there even afterwards. His heartbeat slows into a comfortable rhythm and breathing evens out, and soon, he’s fast asleep in your arms.
#malachai parker x reader#kai parker x reader#kai parker fluff#kai parker smut#tw: child abuse#tw: s3lf h4rm mentions#tvd fanfiction#virgin kai parker#shy virgin kai - my favorite flavor 😂😅
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Trying to not be jealous of people who actually cut deep challenge
#self har#shblur#shtmblr#self h@rm#sh things#sh trigger#sh tumblr#sh mention#sh ment tw#tw s3lf harm#tw self destructive behavior#s3lf hate#s3lf mutilation#s3lfharmm#tw selfhate#tw self destruction#tw self h4rm#tw sui ideation#tw sh related#s3lf harn#tw s3lf hate#s3lf harm
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"Why would you do that to yourself" I'm trying my best to soothe the pain, trying to cradle it so that maybe just maybe it will stop crying out
#self h@rm#depressing shit#tw self h4rm#hitting styro#tw self destruction#cvtaddict#i want to cvt#styroblr#slef harm#tw depressing thoughts#tw s/h#tw depressing stuff#tw sucidal ideation#tw depression#self destructor#su1c1dal#self mutilator#self mutalition#selfharrrm#sorry for being depressing#tw ed but not sheeran#ed relapse#eating disoder trigger warning#tw eating issues#tw self sabotage#tw self destructive behavior#tw selfhate#tw death#tw s3lf harm#disordered eating mention
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how the hell am I supposed to c4rv3 hello kitty into my th1gh w this??
It’s a lot bigger in person he said
#nyx tag!#nyx $h#nyx nonsense#nyx rambles#tw ana bløg#ed bløg#self h@rm#sh cvt#sh things#sh addict#sh twt#cvtt!ng#sh tumblr#cvtblr#self mutalition#$h h4rm#$h tumblr#$hblr#$h relapse#$h tw#$h mention#$elf h4rm#$elf harm#$elf h@rm#made of styro#beans cvt#tw self destruction#tw s3lf harm#tw sh related#tw sui ideation
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Forgive me for getting serious for a second but I feel strongly about this. Trigger warning for conversation about self harm, and more specifically cutting.
♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~ ♡ ~
“Baby cuts” and “cat scratches” are still self harm. Self harm encompasses things outside of cutting as well. Bruising, burning, hair pulling, and many other actions are also self harm.
The issue is not solely with the physical severity of the self harm, a very large part of the issue lies in the reasons why an individual would self harm in the first place.
To focus solely on the physical repercussions of the self harm itself is to miss the forest for the trees.
I do understand the urge to compare but please consider that when you post things speaking down about “cat scratches” or “baby cuts” (and honestly using those terms themselves) it can easily become encouragement for others to harm themselves more severely. Even if you do not intend for it to be.
Please consider the things that you post and if those things may be used as incentives to more severely harm oneself.
~ Thank you.
#tw self harm#tw self h4rm#tw sh#tw sh mention#tw sh talk#tw sh related#tw s3lf harm#tw cut mention#tw cut#tw cvt#I think I covered most of them#jiraiblr#landmineblr#jiraiblogging#landmineblogging#shblr
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I need friends man, if you're okay with me messaging you to start a friendship, please reblog this post (':
#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destructive thoughts#self h@rm#tw self destruction#self mutalition#self destruction#tw self h4rm#s3lfharmm#tw s3lf harm#s3lf harn#s3lf hate#s3lf mutilation#sh mention#sh things#sh pics#sh tumblr#sh cvt#sh twt#sh vent#shblrr#tw sh destructive behaviour#sh#cvtaddict#cvtt!ng#cvutting#deep cvts#healing cvts#i want to cvt#thigh cvts#depressing shit
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my friend knows me too well😇
#self h@rm#$h tumblr#$elf harm#$hblr#sh cvt#$elf h4rm#$h tw#s3lf mutilation#sh trigger#self mutalition#sh tumblr#shblur#$h mention#$h h4rm#$h relapse#s3lf hate#s3lfharmm#tw s3lf harm#s3lf harn#$elf h@rm#$3lf h@rm#i want to cvt#cvtblr#baby cvts#deep cvts#thigh cvts#cvtt!ng#cvtting is silly#cvtter nation#thigh cvtting
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Here it is! Part 3 of Dead Eyed Ivy Second Puberty Edition 💜🏳️⚧️
#transgender#queer artist#transfem#small artist#artists of tumblr#lgbtq#furry#lgbtqia artist#furry oc#zine#tw self h4rm#tw s3lf harm#tw misgendering#cw internalised transphobia#cw sui mention#cw misgendering#transphobia cw#cw: self harm#cw: transphobia#cw dysphoria
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can someone motivate me to s3lf h@rm??
pls pls plspls
like writing anything to hurt me, im begging, anything...
#selfharrrm#self h@rm#sh#s3lf harn#s3lf mutilation#nie chce żyć#s3lfharmm#sh cvt#samookaleczenia#tw self h4rm#self mutalition#selfh4rm#tw self destruction#s3lf hate#tw s3lf harm#$3lf h@rm#$h tumblr#$h tw#$hblr#$elf h4rm#$elf harm#$h mention#cvtt!ng#cvtblr#cvtspo#cvutting#cvt#cvt addict#cutspo
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THIS IS AI GENERATED!!! ITS ALL FAKE MADE WITH AI FOR A CLASS PROJECT ABOUT SH AWARENESS!!! ITS ALL AI AND FAKE!!!
It feels so nice to cut after getting all my shit seized by my fucking school they literally dont even care about me they literally only took them from me cus im "a threat to other students" was literally excluded for 2 weeks cus i wanted to tell a kid to shut the fuck up and i also apparently sk1nned cats??? Never did that i had daydreams about sk1nning people but not actually doing that to cats, ive got 2 cats i would literally k1ll mys3lf if i ever actually did that
Also ignore the pen lines on my leg and my nail polish its been there for like a month and hasnt come off yet and the lines are markers for how far my shorts come down so i dont cut too low 😭🙏
#sh cvt#cvtblr#made of styro#shblur#sh addict#tw s3lf harm#self h4te#self h@te#s3lf harn#s3lf hate#tw self h4rm#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destruction#cw sh mention#cw sh implied#cw sh#selfharrrm#self mutalition#self h@rm#slef hate#slef harn#slef harm#slef h@rm#s3lf mutilation#s3lfharmm#$h tumblr#$hblr#$elf h4rm#$h tw#$elf harm
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HAIII THIS IS MY INTRO!
My name is cracker! I am 19 years old, i am ftm gnc and autistic
My pronouns are he/him
I also love answering asks!
MY INTERESTS ARE!!
Cvtting, the colour yellow, southpark, and some other things I can’t remember
If you wanna be moots just follow me! I follow back all in the sh community!!!
ALSO FOR YOU CREEPS OUT THERE IF U WANNA SEE MY SH YOU CAN BUY ME SOMETHING OFF MY AMAZON WISHLIST <3 If ur apart of the community u get it for free pookies <3
IF YOU WANNA SUPPORT MY SH ADDICTION AND BUY ME SOMETHING I CAN SEND U MY WISH LIST <<33
#cw s/h#implied s/h#s/h#s/h tw#sh#tw s/h#tw s/h mention#beans cvt#sh cvt#tw s3lf harm#tw depressing stuff#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#styr0twt#tw styro#deep styro#hitting styro#made of styro#cvtting is silly#i need to cvt#cvtblr#healing cvts#arm cvts#thigh cvts#cvtt!ng#tw self h4rm#self h@rm#selfharrrm
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⭐️ving
yall, comment protein rich foods cuz my protein intake is fuckin’ ass‼️
#made of styro#tw self h4rm#sh cvt#tw ana rant#tw disordered thoughts#self h@rm#cosmic cvts#light as a feather#988blr#it's not as simple as just eating#sh things#3d not sheeran#cat scratches#depressing shit#ed but not ed sheeran#hitting styro#i hate dealing with this i’m sorry i have to talk about it on here i really don’t like to but i have no where else to put it :(#s3lf mutilation#s3lfharmm#scarspo#self destruction#self destructive tendencies#self h4te#self mutalition#self mutilator#selfh4rm#selfharrrm#sh#sh addict#sh mention
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In All the year that I CvT . It is the first time I realize if I'm pumped up of energy drink's I bl33d much harder
I was always wondering why in my teens I was bl33ding so much and not that much since I relapsed a year ago 😅
In my teens I lived on energy drink's
You all be safe and careful
#arm cvts#baby cvts#beans cvt#cvtaddict#cvtblr#cvtt!ng#deep cvts#healing cvts#i need to cvt#i wanna cvt#i want to cvt#small cvts#cutt1ng#cvutting#tw self h4rm#tw s3lf harm#s3lf harn#self h@rm#self h4te#hitting styro#selfharrrm#s3lf mutilation#self mutalition#self destructive tendencies#sh cvt#sh mention#sh things#sh tumblr#styr0blr#tw self destruction
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tonights vibes 🕸️
#tw self destructive behavior#tw self destructive thoughts#self h@rm#tw self destruction#self mutalition#tw self h4rm#s3lfharmm#tw s3lf harm#s3lf harn#s3lf hate#s3lf mutilation#sh vent#sh mention#sh things#sh pics#sh tumblr#depressing shit#sh cvt#tw sh destructive behaviour#cvtaddict#cvtt!ng#cvutting#deep cvts#i want to cvt#thigh cvts#sh
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Today at school came a woman to talk to us about laughing gas for 40-45 minutes. Which, of course, is not bad to inform us about. HOWEVER this is probably the 5th time in the past year for someone to come to school and in some way to be related to drugs. Why has no one talked to us about eating disorders for example? Or self-harm. Or abusive relationships. D r u g s, ok, I got it, I won't do them, I'll scratch myself until I bleed instead, how does that sound?
Are they trying to just not trigger anyone or something?
#tw drugs#tw drvgs#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw abuse mention#tw ed implied#$h tumblr#sh things#self h@rm#s/h#cw s/h#s3lf harn#s3lfharmm#shblur#slef harm#sh tumblr#$elf harm#$hblr#$elf h4rm
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Feeling like a piece of shit might cut later !! ^o^💗💓💞💕🌸🌸💘💘🎀🎀💝
#988blr#$elf h4rm#$elf harm#$h addict#$h h4rm#$h tumblr#$htwt#cvtt!ng#s3lf harn#s3lfharmm#sh things#$h mention#$h#$h tw#i wanna cvt#cvtaddict#self mutalition#slef harm#hitting styro#s3lf mutilation#$hblr#$h vent#988twt#shtmblr#sh trigger#tw shtwt#slef harn#cvtting is silly#i need to cvt
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