#tw sh talk

[sweetpupii]

i don't mean to say this in a "omg I'm so her lol XDD I'm so crazyyy" way, I hate that, I mean it in a "holy shit that's accurate" way. ( it also won't make sense bc I'm having trouble remembering some things about the series )

I genuinely love how jinx is written in arcane because they made aspects of her mental illness so real.

and I'm not talking just from her deep, deep depression in season 2 act 3 ( I think ); I'm talking about how she was clearly very unstable since she was a child. hitting herself while crying and destroying the stuff she was proud of after realizing that it wasn't enough for others. the hurt of being told by the person she trust the most that she's not ready yet, the way it confirmed what mylo said about her being a jinx and messing everything up.

she, in her own innocence and want of proving herself, willingly climbed up the building she knew vander and the others were at.

then, after all that happened, one might thing she's used to hallucinations—by the way she talks to them like they're actually there, but no. you can't fully get used to it. you can see it by the way she has to stop and try her best to push it aside and not be affected by the stuff she hears and sees because it makes her unable to think on her own.

sometimes it gets so hard to understand they're not real. I mean, you know that it's in your head but why does it feel so real? why am I hearing their voice like they're sitting right next to me? why does it make me feel like this?

I also like that they make the hallucinations sound like actual hallucinations. in my case it also sounds like memories sometimes and not just the aggressive, hateful whispers most movies represent them as. it's not always a voice telling you to kill yourself !!

you can see them progressively get more and more overwhelming as her life gets worse while finding out stuff that brings back painful stuff from the past. mylo who was simply a voice now is also fully visual. hunting her down on every thought.

and don't get me started on the psychotic episodes.

season two was just WOAH.

the way you can feel the emptiness just by looking at her eyes is amazing. you can see and feel how numb she is and how she stops trying.

her life seemed to start getting better. she had vander, vi, isha and even sevika had a better relationship with her but like everything in her life it all went to shit.

doesn't matter how but she's always finding a way to give up. even at the cell she's starving herself to death, scratching on her skin and then attempting on her life like she has probably done countless times.

I wanna clarify that self harm is not only about physically damaging yourself, is also about putting yourself through triggering stuff on purpose or staying in a place you know hurts you. forcing something with someone who only makes you miserable might also count.

I felt it so deep in my heart when she tells vi that she can stop worrying now, that she shouldn't feel guilty and be happy. her expression alone shows you how she's also carrying the blame for many things, if not all that happened.

seeing suicide as the only way to stop being a burden and keep causing trouble is such a real thing to have in my mind and it made me bawl my eyes out.

at the end when she finally understands that she's the only one than can break the cycle, just like silco ( or well, her mind ) told her, you can see peace on her face that you can't see in any other moment. after all she went through she was able to know that maybe it's not that they don't want her near or she's burden, maybe she's the one who wants to cut ties and live another life away from the past and all the things that hunt her down constantly.

a new beginning that she saw impossible.

[kash-heals]

i relapsed friday night (hit styros yay me.) and i was honestly at a loss. didn’t really know what to do or why i even did it my mind was so fucking hazy. i wasn’t unhappy. i saw the previous cuts healing, they were turning into scars and no.. i can’t have that. so i reopened them. didn’t know what else to do so.. i ran to my older brother. he didn’t say shit, that worried me at first. but he cleaned my thigh (where the cuts are) bandaged me up , and just turned on spiderman (favorite movies) without saying a word. not sure how he knew what i needed. but he knew. didn’t wanna be lectured. didn’t wanna be asked why. didn’t wanna explain myself. i was already crying i was a fucking mess. he didn’t tell me to shut up, didn’t call me names or make me feel stupid. he just.. he was there. idk people always ask what can they do to help you if you sh and i never knew what to say, but i do now. just be there. you don’t have to know what to say. in fact.. don’t say anything. just be there. it’ll mean the world.

[the-real-loser-otaku-girl]

At least i always have an escape plan.

Weather it be pills, running away, cvtting, su!c!de ill always find a way out.

[mcshizzle-the-fire-boy]

Took a lot of research but the old cuts on my thighs aren’t infected‼️ they’re just healing rlly slow and kinda weird and are extremely ugly :3

[oshidorifuufu]

guys i need to know right now does it look suspicious if i have more than one cut on my arm? my mother cant know under any circumstances

i wanna cutiwanan cutt let me know pleaseee

[jiraisupportgroup]

Is there anyway I can kindly help a moot who is self harming? I know just telling them to stop isn't right but they are a minor and I worry about them.

Little disclaimer, I'm not a therapist or a doctor I'm just a random person on the internet.

Also I'm going to be speaking kind of casually here, this is more of a casual discussion-type post than very well thought out advice so if you have anything to add please do

I struggle with this too, because everyone is very different and responds to different things. It can be really hard to talk to someone about such a touchy topic unless you know them personally (and honestly even if you know them personally).

For example, a lot of my friends are very "tough love" kind of people, so quite honestly every time one of us talks in the group chat about having relapsing urges the rest of us will say things like "Only losers SH" or like "Sounds like quitter talk to me, bestie" which unless you are part of that group and know us sounds HORRIBLE it sounds TERRIBLE. I would never ever ever recommend saying that to someone you don't know really well and personally because that is honestly a horrible thing to say to anyone outside of that pre-established context. But for my friend group, it works really well because we're all the kind of people that are really easy to rile up. We're very prone to popping off so dramatic talk about things makes us even more upset, so instead of taking it seriously, we downplay it a lot to prevent anyone from getting riled up, which is why the "that's so dumb" approach works really well for us it just like nips it in the bud and kind of pulls us out of that thinking. But for a lot of people that kind of approach would make them SO much MORE upset.

On the flip side a lot of people respond very seriously and like "You are so loved you are so amazing you deserve to love yourself please don't do that to yourself" which works for a lot of people and can be very nice to hear, but makes other people even more upset, or even feel attacked like "it's not your business get out of my business you don't know me" etc.

So usually when it comes to people you don't know personally (and this is just from my personal experience this is not a rule of thumb or advice from a therapist or anything like that) I find that the best way to help someone is to talk about things unrelated to sh. This is a lot easier in real life because usually I recommend making plans, spending time with them, helping them clean or go grocery shopping, small things like that help make their everyday life a little less overwhelming and comfortable and help them have things to look forward to and it can help a lot. It's like how a lot of people order packages and they're like "Well if nothing else I have a package arriving in two weeks so I have to make it to when that package comes in" It's surprisingly helpful.

Online it's a lot harder because you don't usually know them very well and you don't really have that ability to make plans or like assist too much in their day-to-day life, so usually I try to just talk to them about things they like. If they like a certain video game ask them about it, or if there is a new release like a new figure is coming out or a new DLC or anything ask them about that, or if there is a new clothing drop from a brand you know they like, just generally stuff they post about, ask them about it! Talking about things you like or are passionate about can help you feel a lot better and change your thinking processes even if only for a little bit. Otherwise, checking in like "how was your day", "hope you had a wonderful day" or generally just kind of showing that someone out there cares about them is helpful.

SH is a really touchy and personal topic and everyone responds to it differently so as much as we want to be like "please I care about you pls stop" that can make a lot of people very stand-offish and immediately on the defense. It can feel kind of like an attack even when it isn't meant to be at all. But general things like "I hope you had a great day!" or "did you see the new xyz coming out" can kind of help just say "hey I care about you" without being too direct or triggering.

Another thing I would like to add (and I cannot stress this enough): you cannot make yourself responsible for them. It is not your job to help anyone it is not your job to assist anyone, and if it stresses you out as much as it can feel shitty, you have to step away. I know in the past I've had to block people who would vent a lot and threaten to do things to themselves because as much as I loved them I knew there wasn't anything I could do and it really stressed me out to see that so frequently. And that's OKAY. It is OKAY and GOOD to put yourself first and remove yourself from situations like that if they are making you upset. You are not a bad person for removing yourself from situations that stress you out.

But that's just my kind of thoughts / take on it. I'm really curious to see what other people think or how others respond to these situations because I know everyone is so so different and especially dealing with these things online vs in real life is extremely different. So if you have anything to add or anything you disagree with what I said please weigh in! The more opinions, the more experiences, the more people in the discussion, the better. ♡

[online-stalker]

Guys I need either encouragement or decouragement-

I’m going to tell my mother about my sh-

[shfreak]

would killing myself make me feel something ? would it all be for nothing ? i want to feel something . i need to feel something .

cutting before hasn’t helped any . it stung a little . is that what this is all for ? a little sting ?

i want it to hurt . i want to feel . something . anything . i am getting worse i think .

[skinnybinnietitties]

BITCHH TELL ME WHY I SEE A TINY LIL THIGH GAP FORMING😧😧 I'M ACTUALLY LOSING WEIGHT I DIDN'T EVEN SEE I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD EVER HAVE PROGRESS ON MY FAT ASS THIGHS I'M BOUTA START TWEAKINGFGF I'M SO HAPSPYOYORKDJSHSNSJ😭😭😭😭

[starslicerr777]

[fuck-my-autistic-life]

I want to get worse but I need to get better.

I need people to see how fucked up I am but when I get better they assume I was being dramatic and never needed the help in the first place, but I do. I do need help. Please don’t fucking ignore me. My recovery doesn’t erase their neglect or their rape, their harassment. My recovery doesn’t erase my PTSD.

I don’t wanna keep living the way I used to- I’d rather die than go back. But I need someone to see how fucked up I am, to help me, to acknowledge what happened because I’m so used to being the only one who sees it.

Time to self-therapize, because you’re the only help you get.

Was gonna stab myself to get sent to the hospital but that’s a stupid idea that I will absolutely regret. I need to stop setting myself up for failure.

Just gonna take the day off, practice interoception and journal solutions to help these feelings without letting myself get molested again. Some art therapy so I don’t fucking relapse- I’m not wasting the 200 days I’ve put into staying clean. And force myself to take my meds, no matter how much I don’t want to.

I wish the house was empty. I’m stuck in my room now.

[ant-colony-co]

MAJOR TW FOR SH AND SI, ALSO CW FOR A LOT OF CUSSING AND BPD SPIRALING IF THAT BOTHERS YOU. THIS IS MAKING US PANIC AND NONE OF IT EVEN APPLIES TO US. PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

i dont… know what to say and im kinda panicking bc idk what to do and i dont want sh pics to get sent to anyone, esp not us or [2nd name], im so fucking scared

[mcshizzle-the-fire-boy]

So.

My dad just found my bloody bandages I forgot to throw out

And uh

Yeah

All of my sharps are gone

Like all of them

And I feel so so scared

And uh

I think I’m kinda falling apart.

I might not be online a ton in the next while, sorry. I love you all, keep going.

[oshidorifuufu]

will it take until im bleeding out all 4 limbs to be noticed?

[smolfrosted]

Wow haven’t felt this mentally shitty in a while

Tw vent shit, sui and sh mentions, other stuff like knife and od mentions

And it’s not even a thanksgiving thing, like I’m not with family other than my mom and she’s just been watching movies

At least hyperalgesia is a good deterrent for shit, can’t cut or kill yourself when your heightened sense of pain makes you scared of how much it would hurt

Can’t overdose either cause then I might end up getting my stomach pumped and that would fucking hurt

Can’t die cause my mom would lose it, I can’t leave her by herself in the middle of all this shit

I want to go home, but no matter how many times I say or think that I have no fucking idea where or what home is

It’s great thinking that everyone hates you, has never actually liked you and people are just being…nice? ish cause you’re so fucking volatile and you might actually fucking hurt someone

But oh wait you can’t even actually hurt the people you’re thinking of and they’ve never even seen you actually be mad, actually rip scarred mental wounds open again, your memory unable to fucking tell if you’ve eaten or when you showered last or how long it’s been so you don’t accidentally overdose yourself on over the counter painkillers

But God forbid you ever forget whenever they even remotely hurt you, so remember it and don’t forget to twist the metaphorical knife before you rip it out of them, because they need to hurt

Hurt worse than you did, worse than you do

And then you remember that half of them haven’t actually done something wrong and you’re just projecting

But that doesn’t matter, not while you’re angry not while you’re upset, not before the numbness comes back

But oh well, you’ll cry and try to avoid the consequences later so who cares

[coma-black]

tw: sfx!!! not real!!!

benefits of cvtt!ng while drinking is that cat scratches bl33d like this

anyways it’s my actual cats first gotcha day I love him very much <3