#tw: injury and mental illness

[yawnderu]

Lamb of God — Nikto x Medic!Reader | Part I

Shot, stabbed, beaten... Mikhail has been through hell countless times, yet no amount of training or experience from years in Spetsnaz could ever prepare him for what Victor Zakhaev did to him. 8 missing nails, multiple new wounds on his already scarred body, and a face so disfigured he could no longer recognize himself— not only was his body broken, but so was his psyche.

His first visit was with the medics, wounds in desperate need of cleaning even with infection starting to set in most of them, the chemical burns on his face already blistering and itching despite being scolded by the medic multiple times for scratching himself. He was a difficult patient to say the least— not wanting anyone to touch his injuries or even look at him, only accepting treatment from the only person who dared confront him.

“'Stop that.” Your request comes in a sharp tone, not wanting him to itch his blistering injuries and make the scarring worse than what you knew it would be. A mumbled ''don't tell me what to do'' makes its way to your ears, though you decide to ignore it when he puts his hands way, adhesive bandages decorating his fingers where the nails had been ripped off.

“Sit up for me.” The man is an aggressive dog that defends himself with fangs bared, yet he somehow listens to your commands— even when he scoffs or grumbles before finally doing what you ask. Your gloved hand goes to his chin as you examine the red skin on his face, noting it was washed when he was first rescued, no residue of the acid left. He mumbles something and you raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to repeat himself.

“Is it gross?” His deep voice asks, accent even rougher with the raw emotion he's feeling. He knows for a fact it's gross, he saw it himself— he has blisters covering over half of his face, still remembering the acid dripping down his face from Zakhaev simply wanting to cause him pain.

“I've seen worse— at least you still have a face.” Being a medic for the military allowed you to see both human cruelty, and the extends injuries could go. You've seen multiple soldiers missing their face, skin pulled and bones poking out of their bodies— Mikhail's injuries aren't the worst you've seen, not even close.

“Your nose doesn't look too weird either, even when I was told it was broken. Your eyes still work, all your limbs are still attached... you'll recover from everything in no time.” You try to keep a positive attitude despite the way his baby blue eyes are staring holes into your head, pupils looking tiny despite the dim light in the room.

“I'm mostly worried about what's going on here.” You tap his head softly and he doesn't take long on pushing your hand away softly, a small smile making way to your lips when you notice how he avoids eye contact for a second before he's back to staring at you. You stare back for a while, trying to decipher what he's feeling before going to grab a cloth, filling a small bucket with cold water and making your way back to him.

“This might hurt a little bit, let me know if you want me to stop and we can take a break.” He looks down at the bucket of water and the cloth you're dipping in, squeezing the excess water as you wait for his approval. He gives you a nod in affirmation, flinching slightly as the cold cloth makes contact with his face. It doesn't hurt as much as he imagined— if anything, it feels almost soothing, the previous ache and itchiness disappearing even if only for a very short while.

“Заканчивай быстрее с этой хернëй.” He mutters under his breath despite how good it actually feels on his injuries, not wanting to get any pity from you.

“Be patient.” It almost feels like he's getting scolded by his nana, faint memories of the old woman cleaning his scrapped knees come to mind, holding onto them to try and stop the bad thoughts from flooding his damaged brain.

“Mikhail.” Your soft voice slowly brings him back to reality, feeling an odd sensation all over his face. His hand goes up to feel his cheeks, only now realizing that you already dressed his wounds. He looks utterly confused, not even remembering you getting gauze, everything happening too suddenly. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't remember most of the heli flight back home, too busy thinking about... what was he even thinking about?

“Mikhail.” You repeat, one of your gloved hands going to his shoulder in attempts to make him look at you. He's still staring blankly at the floor, just as he has been doing for the past 20 minutes, not responding to his own name.

“Quiet, I hear enough voices.” He brushes you off, finally getting up from the medical bed and quickly leaving your office despite the small limp from the beatings he took for days.

He hears voices? His next stop will have to be with the provided psychiatrist once his body recovers a little bit to test if he's still fit to be part of Spetsnaz, leaving your heart filled with worry until you move onto the next patient, making a mental note to check on him later.

A/N: Mikhail is Nikto's name in this fic, the person he used to be before turning into Никто.

[saturncoyote]

We love a good ol' growth arc

[stinkyeggbow]

⋆ ✴︎˚｡⋆

[flowered-rotting-doll]

[waywardtyrantpirate]

Tw: needles, attempted murder

I made this to cope.

Pls dont use w/out crediting me

[weighted-hearts]

When people think I’m okay because I stopped self harming and recovered physically from my eating disorder. I’m actually not at all okay and very suicidal. I’m just not using those coping skills atm. My brain is still just as messed up.

[edns]

5 years is a lot of time

[digicatt]

Vent • 2024

[musicalmonstrosity]

TW;bodily injury, detailed abuse, cringe culture, ableism, Domestic abuse, child abuse, CPS mentions, the system cringe subreddits

Fakeclaimers are so funny ngl bc they’ll be like “if that happened where’s the scars and proof why aren’t you being abused!” And then I’ll just be like oh word? Which scar you wanna see, this injury is the freshest (I still can’t touch it even while it’s scabbing the bone def got fucked up again) (thanks dad), or we can cover the hundreds of scars all over my damn body. We can cover my malformed legs from being broken so many damn times and the CPTSD fucking up my joints worse. I could audio record the horrific sounds my body makes due to abuse I suffered still effecting me into adulthood. I could show them the pictures of me in secondary locations to be abused. I could send them my CPS workers info and the social workers notes the day I came to school with a stab wound and bruised ribs.(and that shit happened 6 years ago, guess what my ribs are still fucked up!)They don’t actually want proof because when you show it it’s “seeking attention” or it’s “overdramatized” they have to move the goal post because they will dickride for abusers so hard. You could show them your damn diagnosis papers and they’ll sit there and say it’s fake or doctor shopping. Fakeclaimers and their echo chambers don’t care about “stopping fakers to protect disabled people” they want to sit on a high horse when ironically they don’t even have the conditions to speak on it or have such obvious internalized ableism. At this point their groups are becoming blooming hate groups that are becoming dangerous. I’ve actually been victim due to their rhetoric, guess what ,the majority of them are teenagers, ignorant and think they know it all. Back in high school a student who loved those fakeclaiming groups decided that I was faking my disability that required me to use a cane and the elevator (literal doctors note is required for either of these on school grounds and I got banned from using the stairs anyways because I kept getting injured on them). So what does he do? Threaten to break my cane, and eventually he actually did, feeling all righteous until I wasn’t getting up. He had to learn that day you don’t know people and your assumptions can get people killed, if I had hit my head when I fell from him kicking my cane inwards I could’ve died. All this because of what these people spread. I’m sick of it. And please try to fake claim (sarcasm) me so I can pull out my diagnosis papers and therapy notes. And for fucks sake you can see my meds, it’s not like I hide em on this blog.

And the funniest part about all of this? No one owes random people proof or great detail of their abuse or disorders. If you’re not their doctor or psychiatrist why care? It’s simple, they don’t care for proof, they care to target people and protect abusers.

[melodious-tear]

Bai Choufei - HAUNTED (Isabel LaRosa)

[unstablebr0]

TW: VENT ABOUT S3LF HARM

Never share my thoughts here but i was a s3lfharmer for a long time, tho now i am 21 months sober!!! I get these crazy urges now and not sure i can resist them for long🫤

[flutterpuppi]

I keep having flashbacks to the time a couple kids in my neighborhood forced me to watch them kill a toad and I feel so sick. Should fucking stab you with a needle over and over n see how you like it you sick fuck there’s almost nothing I despise more than animal cruelty

[slaughterlocked]

[ deck ] your muse decking mine in the face. ( from henry for Reasons You Can Probably Guess lmao / @ladyseidr )

WILLIAM HAS TO LAUGH OR HE THINKS HE’LL GO MAD. HENRY LOOKS GOOD FROM THE FLOOR, TOWERING OVER HIM — wrong thoughts to have when Henry is so blatantly, ridiculously unable to understand his intentions, but William admires his old best friend ( is that what they’d been? ) as he wipes his bloody nose. Violent with anger, oh, what a team they could have made: if only Henry hadn’t been quite so moral, quite so cowardly. How can someone so brilliant be so afraid of progress? William doesn’t think he’ll ever understand.

Not that he has the time to, either: he props himself up on his elbows, scrambling back from the furious figure of Henry. “Easy now, easy,” he says, like trying to soothe a wild animal, half - scornful, derisive, and half - appealing. Hoping, deep down, that Henry will come to his senses, realizes the great work William is doing. In the name of science, in the name of eternity. Doesn’t Henry love him enough to want that? A forever with him? “Listen to me, Henry, just a moment—”

Heaving himself to his feet, head reeling from his sudden blow to the face, William gingerly smiles, touching across his cheek and jaw to ensure no breakage. It hurts like hell, sure to leave a bruise or two, but it doesn’t feel broken. He takes this as a positive: Henry cares enough not to damage him properly. His smile grows, appealing, earnest. Manic. “I understand that my experiments come as a, erm, as a shock to you. But if you hear me out, I can fix it. Fix everything. Henry—” And here William laughs once more, almost childishly enthused about his next sentence. “I can bring our families back again. Don’t you see how incredible my studies are?”

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

TW for mental illness. Mild self injury (not self harm) OCD...

Please tell me if you don't want things like this sent in I am just rambling.

Giving the boys some of my various Issues because they are traumatized and so am I. And it makes me feel better to project onto Fictional characters (man when I saw Iron Man have a panic attack on the big screen it helped me so much...)

Simon has dermotilamania and trichaltillamania (the skin-picking and hair-pulling disorders )

He is clean shaven bc he WILL methodically rip out any facial hair otherwise. Sometimes his eyebrows and eyelashes fall victim when he's really stressed. He's constantly covered in bandages because he rips at his skin. Around his nails, along his jaw, and arms are always covered in small wounds in various stages of healing. Sometimes when he wakes up feeling like he's being buried alive, he'll go to the bathroom and find bleeding gashes along his throat from trying to make it so he can "breathe"

Saw someone say Gaz has OCD once and I will always take an opportunity to shed light on such a terrible disorder. Living with it is hell. His anxieties probably revolve around missions going wrong. And since that is always a real possibility, it just feeds the OCD monster. Always has to knock on wood. Has to repeat mantras in his head. Double checks everything. Has to tap his fingers in a specific sequence. Once for every member of his team and his family or they will die and it'll be his fault. He knows it's irrational but fuck it's hard to resist compulsions...

-🔪

Thank you for tagging triggers at the top!

\tw: self injury (not self harm), mental illness, 09 Ghost's canon backstory. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT.

People always "toy" with the physical stuff more often than not (bullet wounds, Soap's knee injury, Ghost's scars) but the mental illness part is overlooked so often for anyone OUTSIDE of Ghost (bc torture).

But honestly, I'm all for making characters feel as real as possible. The boys would NOT be 100% sane after all they went through (I'm a big fan of making Simon Riley Suffer™️ /s)

I also hc 100% that the boys have certain mental illnesses (besides the physical stuff ofc) from service.

But I saw a fic where Soap had bipolar, another where Price turns to drugs (cocaine especially) to deal with all the shit he goes through on a daily basis, add to that disassociation/DID for Ghost and OCD for Gaz (also saw that hc for Gaz!!!)...

Those things are important to mention, ofc not everyone wants to write the angst and that's totally fine but when you LIKE that stuff (the ANGST!!! I mean), seeing it approach such topics that are SO realistic and expected??? It feels like a pay off for something you've always known you wanted to see.

[waywardtyrantpirate]

Tw: stabbing mentions, infections, ramcoa stuff.

So I have a question. As a kid (about 3-4 ish) I had this...thing I would do which is I would stab my biological father repeatedly multiple times. This became a problem. Then I moved on to the dog. Other than this I was actually pretty meek an shy to other adults. It was only to my father an dog. I avoided adult males but was OK other than that. I was very "protective" of younger kids when put in observation (mental ward for toddlers an kids). I found this in an old document about my health (which my mom hid for awhile an even denied when i brought it up an got mad). Why??? We what does this mean?

Did something happen to me???

I was sick a lot w/ immune problems as a kid, hives, sicknesses, seizures, some head trauma.

Is this ramcoa from an early age? I don't want to use a label that isn't for me but.

[sins-of-the-sea]

Giovanni plays 'Slay the Princess'!

"....... This is just me every day, princess or not."

"Including the many voices in your head, a nagging Narrator, always being forced to kill, frequently dying, exposure to eldritch horror, and the constantly looming neverending existential dread?"

"Especially the many voices in my head, a nagging Narrator, always being forced to kill, frequently dying, exposure to eldritch horror, and the constantly looming neverending existential dread.