#tw rant post

[ovaryacted]

God as a lesbian I totally understand what you mean by de-centring men in our lives… and also you really can’t travel with every one of your friends and that’s completely normal. Finding people compatible enough to hang out but also be able to co exist 24h for who knows how many days is very very hard, and only something you can experience after an event like this where you travel with them

I really hope you can recover from this, and I’m sending you all of my best wishes 💖💖💖💖

Omg hi!! I saw and read this when you initially sent it but I was still too upset to answer so now I’ve cooled down about the whole thing and I can answer properly. Thank you for answering by the way, it feels good to know that I’m not crazy for how I feel. 🫶 My feelings were validated by my other friend who agreed with how I felt so we’re all kinda in a tense situation with our mutual best friend but we’ll figure it out.

My issue with my friends really isn’t the compatibility per-say, cause I’ve been traveling with them since 2020 so when it’s just us 3 literally everything is fine. Before the mess of the other night, we legit went to a steakhouse and had a good time at dinner, things were okay. The issue is when men somehow get involved into our dynamic and now I’m casted to the side and I turn invisible for two reasons: 1 - I don’t give men the type of day cause I know my type and I hate my time to be wasted, and 2 - I don’t consider myself conventionally attractive because I’m not skinny and I’m not necessarily curvy, and I have a bitch face and I’m naturally mean to men so I don’t get approached.

The principle of what happened is what pissed me off the most because if you’re on a trip with your friends and they verbally say they’re tired and would like to go home after a long ass day, but you’re still persistent in wanting to spend time with a man who is only good for a cop and feel, that’s just crazy to me I’m sorry. Cause had I done that on one of my friend’s trips when we came for them, I’d look crazy, so the fact that the issue didn’t translate into my friend’s mind yet is why I’m upset. She literally ditched us for a man she just met when it was her last night with us (she was leaving a day in advance), and she didn’t even check in on us for 5-6 hours. That’s insane to me like what??

Like we’re adults, we’re grown, I don’t give a fuck if my friends flirt with guys or dance with them or whatever. My frustration with the situation doesn’t come from a place of jealousy or envy because I don’t put male attention on the pedestal we’ve been accustomed to do. My friends are gorgeous, and if that’s their prerogative then I’ll support them, and if they’re uncomfortable with the man in the space, I’m there to tell them to fuck off which also happened that night. However, I do get upset when I’m practically ignored and treated like I don’t exist when all I want is to spend time with my friends.

Literally men are easy, they’re everywhere, male attention shouldn’t be such a hot commodity but it is and that’s what I hate about it. I already have past trauma from my close friends choosing a man over me and it ruined our friendship, that type of hurt doesn’t go away. And I know my story is not unique either, it happens all of the time and it’s literally fucking stupid. Navigating the patriarchal world when you’re trying to detach from it is difficult when everyone else is still absorbed in that way of life and you can’t blame them cause that’s all we know. It’s especially hard when you’re still attracted to men, and you have to navigate that hatred of men while still somehow wanting to find a life partner in a man even if you’re bisexual like me lmao.

It’s really a double edged sword kind of thing, and it gets frustrating when you love your friends dearly but they still do stupid shit at the expense of men. It’s triggering when you’ve already been on the receiving end of that conversation, you’ve been through that cycle, and that happens all when the relation with the man doesn’t even last. Male attention and validation is still important and fundamental to people, I get that, I was like that 4 years ago and something just clicked in me and I started to de-center men all together. But I wished my friend in particular thought the same is all, because it truly hurts watching the cycle repeat itself whether it’s intentional or not.

[yandere-kokeshi]

Tw: rant about Atlas, my cat. I just need to get this out of my system.

Nobody informed me how fucking hard it would be to lose an animal that you consider family.

In october of 2022, I had fallen into a hole of depression. One of my friends decided to come over one day, show me an orange tabby kitten and gift it to me. I named him Atlas. I remember the first time I opened the crate, he immediately started purring and rubbing against my face. Licking it as I sobbed and hugged him. Smooched him.

That day, and forward on, I had more confidence and decided to clean myself up. I looked into therapy, started taking my meds again and quit my then-current job, work alongside a few of my friends, and get rid of toxic people in my life because of him.

Atlas was my baby. My highlight of everything that has kept me going.

Lqst week on 4/7/2023, he passed away because I couldn't afford his emergency surgery. He had swallowed something large, it was blocking his intestines and it was inflamed. Making him.extremely sick and ill. The doctor said it would cost around 4k and more after surgery. I couldn't afford that.

I had to make the worst decision in my life and had to put him down. He was only 7 months old. He was barely an adult. He was still a kitten.

I've never felt more guilty in my entire life. I feel like I failed him. That I wasn't and am not a good cat.parent. I love him so so so fucking much.

And now he's gone. I've been siting in my bed, sobbing away as I look at pictures of him and videos. Laughing then crying.

I miss you so fucking much bubba. I'm so sorry I failed you. You were so patient and kind. My favorite moments were when you took a block of cheese off the counter and I had to chase you. Or how you always jumped into lap when i sat down. Or how you groomed me whenever I was sad or upset. You always slept on my face. Licking my cheek and nose whenever I moved.

I will always miss you. You were the fucking best cat I ever had.

[boabel]

this is so shit i need [remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health] mouse bites to live

[m0nsterm0vie]

[starvingforattention18]

Tips

If you exercise eat

if u don’t u can fast

but never exercise if you’re fasting

cuz then you’ll collapse and be forced to eat and not exercise

If you’re fasting for long periods of time practice harm reduction by:

Drinking A LOT of WATER

Put salt in water for electrolytes or put salt on lemon wedges for electrolytes and minerals

TAKE YOUR SUPPLEMENTS

vitamin deficiencies are dangerous and you need your vitamins iron and other nutrients to try and avoid permanent damage to your brain heart kidneys and general health

If you feel really dizzy and like your vision is going black after a long fast you’re probably gonna pass out from low blood pressure or low blood sugar

If you still feel ok enough to walk around grab some water if not then skip this part.

lay down and lift your legs

(better to lift them with something like a pillow to save energy then to lift them up in the air). take deep slow breaths.

If you managed to prevent yourself from passing out wait for your vision to get clear and your heart rate to settle then keep laying down for at least five more minutes.

After that slowly lower your legs and straighten your back to sit up and sit for 2-5 minutes

only then you can slowly get up and go eat something preferably something that contains some sugar and maybe some protein (no skinny cookies or stuff with artificial sweeteners you’ll just pass out again)

Do not purge for at least a week if you did pass out or you might do permanent damage to your heart deregulate your heart rate

Sleep a lot if you can

While fasting for long periods of time it’s important to sleep rest and just move as little as possible if you’re fasting for multiple days

Have some calories

If you’re fasting for multiple days or even weeks try to break your fast around every 3-5 days with anything between 50-300 calories to maintain some energy levels in your body and prevent yourself from collapsing.

Stay safe <3

[186-3]

courting antisemitism

so i recently decided to take a look at the latest stonetoss comics (probably because i love suffering). and while i was expecting some content on the israel palestine conflict, what i did not expect was how... standard it seemed. well, most of it at least, but i'll get to that in a second.

for context, if you don't know what stonetoss is, it's a (poorly drawn) webcomic known for having radical alt-right views - meaning it's incredibly racist, homophobic, transphobic, islamophobic, antisemitic. all that fun stuff.

so while i was expecting to see bad stuff, one of the first things i saw on the topic of israel was this:

terrible art aside, this comic is making a point that i usually see in left wing circles: that israel is pinkwashing genocide.

curious if there was more like this, i kept looking, and the comic right before that one was this:

again, this makes points that i usually see in left wing circles. that american healthcare is crazy expensive, that canada tells poor people to commit suicide, and that israel is bombing hospitals.

why does stonetoss, this well known alt-right nutjob, now seem to be bringing up left-wing talking points?

curious, i kept going deeper:

well this is... odd. clearly, stonetoss is trying to say that israel is on another level of bad, even worse than russia, iran, and north korea. i can possibly see someone on the left making the argument that the russian invasion of ukraine isn't as bad as what israel is doing in gaza, or that at least north korea isn't invading any other countries, but... iran??? the country that has a police force designed to enforce religious law, and gets away with murdering women who do not properly cover their hair? the country that props up paramilitary groups in countries all over the middle east, including lebanon, yemen, and yes, palestine?? that's completely ridiculous

but, given how much more israel is in the news nowadays than any of these other countries, i could see why someone would buy this

and now, we're starting to get to the crux of what stonetoss is trying to do. when someone sees this, they might be inclined to agree with it. they might begin to think that israel is the worst country on the planet

and that might not seem so bad at first. but the more you hate israel, especially irrationally, the more you feel allowed to dehumanize those who support it. the more you might be willing to agree with this comic, which came out two days prior to the one above

this comic says that jews, as a whole have no desire to exist with other people. it is blatantly antisemitic

i'm sure you could imagine some young leftist who sees the comics above this one and thinks, "this guy makes some good points". and then, when they get to this one, they might realize that this is antisemitism

or, they may not.

and that would start them down the road to becoming an antisemite.

this is what stonetoss and other alt-right nutjobs are hoping to achieve. to take left wing fury at israel, and direct it at jews.

we saw it with those neo-nazis at the palestine rally, and we're seeing it again here.

and if you've found yourself agreeing with what stonetoss has said so far, i would like you to see the last comic stonetoss put out before october 7th:

this horrifically racist comic is in reference to an environmental activist who was murdered by a black man in early october. this blatantly racist garbage is the kind of stuff stonetoss usually puts out.

but as soon as october 7th happened? these were his next two comics:

stonetoss completely changed the comic's tone as soon as the current crisis started. why?

to get as many people as possible to get on board with hating jews.

and i know many of you might be thinking that "well, everyone knows that stonetoss is racist garbage. nobody is going to fall for this"

except, as we saw with the neo-nazis at the rally for palestine, it's not always that obvious who the antisemites are and who is just rallying for peace. they are often a lot better at disguising it than stonetoss is.

AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE AWARE OF THAT

EVERYONE, no matter HOW much experience you have, can fall victim to propoganda. EVERYONE needs to be aware of what people around them are saying, and able to pick out hateful rhetoric, because even the stuff that is just kind of toeing the line of what's hateful is still putting your foot in the door

be cautious, everyone. and stomp out hate where you see it.

[neizia]

sometimes i wonder if this an actual disorder i have or am i just being weird

[boldandburnt]

I worked so hard to destroy myself, why would I get better?

[yandere-kokeshi]

I’m sorry about what happened kokeshi I hope your ok can I ask what’s wrong

Hi! :] I'm okay, just irritated after my shift at work today! Just idiotic people are just on my last nerve for today.

I work at a restaurant, not only to help with extra money but to help my brother in need; (I'm helping him save up to get out of my mother's toxic and narcissistic household)

What went wrong today is a lot but a few being that my coworkers aren't the best, they're extremely sloppy and ignorant; they rarely pick up after themselves which causes me to do all their shit. This is also one of the reasons why a lot of yandere content hasn't been posted as fast as I want it to be :(

Also, a customer came in and was a total asshole. I normally don't take it to heart but they started pointing things out that are 'out of place' and complained literally about everything: the food wasn't cooked all the way, how I forgot utensils, how slow things were, why that baby in the corner was crying and they wanted them moved, etc.

I'm now working on some fics and eating leftover pizza. How are you anon? Hope your day is well :).

[soon45kg]

Please like/reblog this if you’re an active 3d blog (and preferable 18+)! I desperately need people to follow ♥︎

[thecommunalfoolboy]

It’s crazy how many people just don’t understand why a lot of aro and or ace people don’t like that Alaster gets shipped. It’s not that hard to understand we don’t have a lot to let ourselves lose. I mean can you name 10 asexual characters? 5? Can you name two aro characters. There’s the guy from Archie who they made have a sex scene in a movie version. There’s a few books. I think a background character in Heartstopper? Do you see the theme here??? You’re all queer people, do you not get it? How it feels to have nothing? Is it so wrong to be upset that there’s finally an outwardly aroace person in popular media and instead of people embracing that they’re fighting on the internet about why it’s ok to ignore it? And I will never in my fucking life have anything against the people who are aro and or ace and portray him in THEIR experiences, even if it is a romance or sex favorable experience, but it is obvious that way too many of you guys are allo and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t even like him as a character that much, he isn’t even made by an aroace artist. The show isn’t even that fucking good, I just want to keep someone like me for once in my life. If there were a million other aroace characters I wouldn’t care, but it just hurts seeing erasure coming from my own community. It just sucks, man, I don’t know. It just sucks

[anniflamma]

So I’ve received a couple of anonymous messages telling me that they were really disappointed in me for liking Elian's Antinous fanart. Instead of answering them individually, I’m just going to make an angry rant post instead. Most of if probably won't make sense anyway.

This post have talk about SA, and homophobia. Be aware. I don’t ship genuinely Telemachus and Antinous, if that’s what you’re wondering. I didn’t even consider the possibility that ship could even exist. At the end of the day, I don't care about that ship.

And do you want me to explain that I know SA is bad? Or that I’m aware Telemachus/Antinous is a toxic ship? Do you think I’m dumb and don’t know that? You don't have to explain to me either, I know that SA is bad, I have experienced it, you don't have to explain to me, trust me I know.

I like Elian's art because it’s really beautiful. Her work is a huge inspiration and encouragement for me when making animatics. But do I REALLY have to spell out, word for word, that I know Antinous is an antagonist and tries to do bad things? Does it mean every time someone draws Antinous and I like it, I have to explain that I like the drawing because it’s well done, not because I support Antinous’ intent toward Penelope and wants to kill Telemachus?

I mean, I’ve seen tons of thirsty comments like, "I hate how Zeus treats women, but your design is really hot" or "Even if Poseidon SA Demeter, this Poseidon I'd go down on all fours for!"

I have seen some stuff….

I guess I could just imitate something like that????

But I know it’s a joke and I know its a fantasy that someone is expressing. Its not real, its fictional. I know all those thirsty ppl who simp over Poseidon, Zeus, or even Antinous aren’t supporting hatred and violence toward women. And yes, I am expecting that you should already know this too. Because if we gonna assume the worst of ppl… Then everyone who likes Greek myth/Epic the musical are pro SA. "Do you like Crice from Epic the musical? That means that you support her actions, you support SA!" "Oh you like Odysseus?! He killed a baby and all of his female slaves cuz they got SA by the suitors! You support infanticide, slavery and SA!" Do you hear how dumb that sounds? To be honest, I wouldn’t be that surprised if there are some who think like this. I mean, this discussion wouldn’t even be a thing, right.

And if you don’t know, I literally make thirst art of Poseidon (and that includes Zeus and Hermes), and you don’t see it as a bad thing??? It’s Poseidon… Do you know what he has done to women in the myths?!

Im going to ramble here and I will bring up stories from greek myth that have SA in it. So be aware.

One example is the story of Caeneus. When Caeneus was a woman, his parents left him to take care of the house while they were out running errands. Poseidon took that as an opportunity to break into the house and sexually assault him. This is probably the only myth where Poseidon actually feels bad after what he did, so he grants Caeneus a wish. Aww, how sweet~~~ /sarcasm.

Do I need to give an example of Zeus? We all know what Zeus does. But hey, I’ve made Poseidon/Hermes ship art. And guess what? There’s a story where Hermes breaks a woman’s leg so she can’t run away from him, and then he sexually assaults her. Isn’t that cute~~! /sarcasm

Heck, I can even go on with my biblical ships. David/Jonathan—David, a serial assaulter and murderer, and Jonathan, a mass murderer. But do I support their actions? No, I do not support mass murder, and its really dumb that I have to spell it out for you.

Daniel/Darius is even questionable too! It's literally a king and his servant, and that power imbalance is so big I don’t know what to tell you! Do I have to spell it out that I know that, in real life, king/servant relationships aren’t cute at all?!

All of these characters that I’ve listed have done or represent horrible things. And I have to tell you that I don't support their actions?! Really? You really can't think outside the box?

But do you see what I’m trying to tell you? We can simp over other ancient mythological figures but Antinous is the red line that we can never cross??? It’s hypocritical and immature, that’s what it is.

Right now, ppl loves the Ody seduces Zeus art I made. And that "ship" is well really questionable too! But nobody have called me a witch and tries to burn me at the stake yet. 😐

And the thing is, I can separate these fictional characters from the real world. I can also separate the fictional material from other fictional interpretations. Exemple, I like The Song of Achilles, in it, they are the same age, but I am also aware that in the Iliad, Achilles is 16 and Patroclus is 26. But do I automatically assume that Madeline Miller likes teens? No! Do I assume that everyone who likes The Song Of Achilles like that shit? No!

But we still can have a disscussion about it without making it into a witch trial.

As long as we can separate different fictional materials, then everything is fine. It only becomes a problem if a person can’t separate them. Then we have a problem. I can acknowledge that my depiction of King David from the bible is not the same as from the original story and that he is horrible person towards women. If I couldn't acknowledge that, then its bad! The same goes for Antinous if someone makes an AU or headcanon about him. If someone want so make AUs about Antinous, my first thoughts isnt "Oh they like to SA ppl!". At the end of the day, this is just a group from tiktok who didn’t like a toxic ship and decided to bully an artist while acting like they have superior morals.

And I get this type of shit from christians when I make my queer bible interpitations, both from those that don't like the queer stuff but also those that points out that David and Jonathan were horrible ppl.

So I rarely answer comments like this because they usually end up spewing beliefs filled with homophobia and Islamophobia. Heck rasism sometimes, apparently, Christians don’t know that the Bible takes place in the Middle East, and they are angry at me for drawing them looking like Arabs! I just delete their comments before they gets there. Making queer biblical animatics on TikTok that go viral on the Christian side is not fun at all guys....

And hate to say it but tiktok Epic fans sound really similar. You are acting like you’re on a pedestal, holier than thou. Its just a different font.

+ I haven’t forgotten all those homophobic comments I got on my David/Jonathan animatic that I posted right after my Ruthlessness animatic. Epic fans were saying they didn’t want “that gay shit” and wanted to see more Epic stuff. Hate to break it to you all, but the Epic fandom isn’t that innocent.

[bubbl3gum-btch]

A little thnspø for you <3

Manifesting this. 🖤

[skinnylight1day]

I hope ana can accept me, i promise ill be good.

[piercingsandfangs]

Literally what it's like posting on ed and sh Tumblr

[boldandburnt]

being a junkorexic is so weird because yes I am terrified of gaining weight yes I still eat like shit