#tw mental abuse mention

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, there is a certain type of fetishizing of violence that occurs when you are the victim of abuse - wherein people talk directly to you about how much they fantasize about your abuser/s dying and being killed - "all abusers must be killed!" they say.

As a victim of prolonged abuse, I never felt cared for when people indulged that information to me. It often feels like my abuse is being exploited for others to enact their own violent fantasies and secret desires - my abuse means nothing to them in the same way that I didn't matter to my abusers. It's not support - it's just another cycle of violence.

I'm begging people to care more about victims and survivors than they do about retribution of abusers. Nowhere along the way should your focus on the abuser outweigh the people affected by their abuse. If you truly want to support abuse victims and survivors, start with us

[coophawkinsshq]

full name: cooper elias hawkins 

date of birth: october 31st, 1984 

age: thirty-eight years young 

gender: cis male 

pronouns: he & him 

sexuality: heterosexual 

neighborhood: downtown 

occupation: homicide detective for east haven police

tw: sibling death mention, tw: drowning accident mention, tw: boating accident mention, tw: emotional abuse mention, tw: mental abuse mention, tw: physical abuse mention, tw: smoking mention, tw: alcohol mention 

Cooper Elias Hawkins was born on October 31st back in 1984 to two loving and hardworking parents named Thomas and Heather (nee’ Cooke) Hawkins. The Hawkins clan was very well known and well liked in their town of Southport, North Carolina which is where they resided and where Cooper had grown up. Thomas & Heather are very successful owners of a diner that’s family owned. It’s beloved in their town. It was a small town and one of the hot spots for tourists to always go to.

Ryan Hawkins was the first of the Hawkins clan, then Ethan, then Annie, then Cooper and finally the baby Megan whom they all called Meg. Growing up Cooper idolized his older siblings, his brothers were his best friends and his sister Annie was someone whom he admired and aspired to be like. Meg was someone Cooper always took care of and adored and wished to protect with everything he had. He made a promise to himself to always watch out for Meg. The Hawkins siblings were well known and well liked by the town and could do no wrong.

They were one big happy family. They were fun and successful and everyone loved them. That was until one 4th of July Annie and Cooper had decided to take their family boat out onto the water alone, without their parents permission. Thomas and Heather were too busy at the diner to notice they were gone. He was eleven at the time and Annie was a little bit older. They drove it illegally, neither of them having a boating license but Annie really wanted to go and she always had a way of making Cooper follow in her footsteps. So he did, because all he cared about at the time was if Annie was happy.

They were having a good time and being safe until Annie decided to jump into the water after Cooper had told her and begged her not too. It was a while until Cooper had realized she hadn’t come up from the water. Panicked and scared, Cooper illegally drove the boat back to shore for some help. Once reaching his parents & some cops, they ruled it as a drowning accident. This nearly destroyed not only the family but the town. They always said that Annie held the family together and her death tore it apart.

His father was furious and devastated and wrongfully accused & blamed Cooper for Annie’s death even though he knew it wasn’t his fault. Growing up for Cooper wasn’t easy anymore. He wasn’t the happy go lucky kid he used to be. His father mentally, and sometimes would physically and emotionally abuse him . It went on for years, and his two older brothers followed in their fathers footsteps. Cooper closed himself off and didn’t talk to them until he actually needed too. The only ones who truly cared about him and were worried about his well being was his mother & his little sister Meg. He was thankful for them even if he didn’t show it often.

He kept to himself and got into reading and writing. Cooper found that he hid himself away in his room, and only had a couple of friends. He felt exiled in his own family and in his own town. Excelling in school Cooper kept his grade average high, he graduated high school with honors and had decided to move as far away from Southport as possible to get a fresh start. Choosing the city that never sleeps, Cooper was accepted into almost every New York City College but ended up choosing Brooklyn College. He majored in Criminal Justice, and minored in Florescence Science.

However that wasn’t what he wanted to do in life. After graduating college with honors again, he decided to go into the academy and become a police officer. A couple years of being a cop, he took the detectives exam and has been in the homicide unit ever since. He was in Brooklyn for a really long time, up until he fell in love with his partner who also happened to be his best friend which was rare for Cooper. Though he wouldn't of wanted it any other way. It wasn't good being together while being on the job, and they hid their relationship as best as they could. Though their Sargent soon found out, it placed a toll and a strain on their relationship. A beautiful blossoming one ended and it crushed him. The man had a ring and was ready to settle down and start a life with her. Though after the brake up, Cooper had decided to transfer to move to another state so that this way, he can officially start over. A place where no one knew him. A place where no one knew his story or what had happened to him and his family as child. Or what had happened to him within his young, adulthood life. The one spot he chose was East Haven, Vermont.

He essentially transferred so that his ex girlfriend, the love of his life, Nora Freeman wouldn’t have too. Cooper was trying to not only protect her but protect her career as well. Their brake up was unexpected for him and it took him a while to get used to living here by himself.

Though with the death of his sister that still haunts him, Cooper has finally found peace within East Haven. However, when he can not sleep at night, he’ll sit out on his front porch and smoke cigars to make himself feel more at ease. He’ll leave empty beer bottles on the living room table and his apartment’s mess. Though he’s happy, he’s happy in East Haven, Vermont. A new state and a new town where no one knows who he is, where no one knew what he had to go through in order to get here.

[orphancoded]

[fieryprime]

I think if I hear one more YT channel call that Colleen girl that abused and groomed kids "narcissistic", I'll implode.

Here are some basics:

NPD is a stigmatized disorder.

"Narcissistic" describes a person who has NPD.

I thought people learned this lesson when we removed "psychotic" from the list of insults you can throw around. Guess not.

The words you're looking for are "self-centric", "self-absorbed", "egomaniac", "egotistical".

Being any of the aforementioned does not make you narcissistic.

You can't armchair diagnose people. Yes, not even the shitty ones.

You can't claim that abusive behavior is connected to the person's disorder(s). Abuse is a choice.

By armchair assigning narcissism to shitty people, you are furthering the stigma against narcissistic individuals.

The risks of completing suicide in pwNPD are very high.

Narcissists are not inherently abusive.

Narcissistic abuse does not exist.

Colleen Ballinger is not a person with NPD.

Her actions are her conscious choice; her inability to apologize and make amends has nothing to do with pwNPD.

Leave the term "narcissistic" out of your mouth if you don't know how to use it.

And kindly, shut up about narcissistic traits unless you're narcissistic.

[faramirsonofgondor]

“Gabe isn’t abusive in the show” ARE WE WATCHING THE SAME SHOW???

Gabe is literally introduced by yelling at someone who, when Percy apologizes for Gabe’s behavior, says “I’m walking out, you’re walking in. I should be apologizing to you.” And then Percy reluctantly and slowly walks inside. And Gabe immediately starts in on him (calling him “Genius” in a mocking tone) as Percy repeatedly expresses that he just wants to talk to his mom ( and Gabe’s subsequent “Is that all you have to say to me?”) The fact that he answered Sally’s phone and acted like he had every right to do so?? The way he shows begrudging respect when thinks Percy was violent towards another kid at school?? The “you would think that because you’re a child, you don’t understand things…” The way he gets annoyed that Percy wants to know where his mother is. The “what are we doing Percy? every time! wow…wow!” in such a condescending tone??? Percy’s immediate alarm when Sally calls Gabe’s name. Gabe immediately yelling at Sally, not knowing anything about Percy’s life (he didn’t even know his school’s name despite literally just talking to them), the way he makes Sally negotiate to use the car (“Why am I okay with this?” “Make sure they put the hot peppers on my sandwich please!”) the way he acts like his tone of voice shouldn’t matter to Sally because he said “please” the aggressive behavior even after he concedes to letting them use the car (getting in Percy’s face, pointing his finger at him, etc.), like???

Just because he isn’t depicted as smacking the shit out of them doesn’t mean he isn’t abusive. He is constantly yelling, even when it’s not necessary, and is overall condescending and rude towards both Percy and Sally. He has a positive reaction towards the idea of Percy being violent, which means that he probably has no problems getting violent himself, even if it isn’t show on screen. The fact that he is constantly trying to redirect Percy and Sally’s decision to make himself the center of it (he is trying to goad Percy into an argument when he gets kicked out of school and overall keeps trying to redirect the conversation back to himself, he acts like he is allowed to breach Sally and Percy’s privacy but then makes Sally get his permission to drive somewhere, and even then she has to give him something in return). Like he is very clearly controlling and emotionally/financially abusive (he acts like Sally’s things are his despite not having a job and likely blowing through their money). It also seems like he tries to diminish Percy’s self esteem, possibly to keep him and Sally under his thumb (it’s a common tactic used by abusers to make the victims feel like the need to depend on the abuser). Overall, just because he might not be physically abusing them, doesn’t mean he isn’t abusing them and doesn’t mean his actions aren’t harmful. Furthermore, just because he isn’t violent on screen doesn’t mean he isn’t violent.

[desultory-suggestions]

I would like to give a shout out to the gullible folks. The people who were lied to with some ridiculous story by an abuser and taken advantage of. People who can't describe their situation to others bc they know it sounds crazy, but they have fallen too deep to escape.

You aren't dumb. You're so trusting and so full of love. It is not your fault others take advantage. There are people out there that will not lie to you like others have. Your trauma is valid even if the lies you were told were so outlandish people laugh when you try to explain the terror you lived through.

Don't stop loving. Don't stop trusting. Just... Learn how to be more selective with your trust. Because not all have pure intentions for you.

[daffodilmornings]

Anyway, victims of rape deserve a safe space online to vent. We deserve to be open about our feelings, and our hatred and fear is valid as yours is to anything else that has harmed you. Stop silencing rape victims as "radfem man-haters" and listen to them as victims of continuous abuse at the hands of men and a patriarchal society that does not put these men behind bars.

RADFEMS AND TERFS DO NOT TOUCH

[small-but-mightyy]

[system404singletnotfound]

This is your reminder that abusive people can do good things, but they are still abusive!

They can help you

They can save your life

They can be nice to you

But this doesn’t excuse their abuse, and it doesn’t make your experience any less valid

[intrusive-thoughts-only]

All vices are fair game with BPD, how many can you collect?

Now Featuring: Substance Use, Self Harm, Binge Drinking, Sex, Nicotine, Starving Yourself, and so much more!

[emotionaleating]

[uncanny-tranny]

I remember making a post about how anger in recovery is normal (especially after abuse), but I think the reason so many people are afraid of their anger is because of the way anger has been weaponized.

I used to feel almost... proud that I "never got angry" and I thought that made me a more empathetic, understanding, and well-rounded person. What I didn't want to accept was that I did feel anger, but it was wrapped in so many layers of fear, shame, and anxiety that I couldn't properly feel it. I was afraid of anger because it was weaponized against me for years and years - I blamed my mistreatment on the emotions I assumed my abusers felt, rather than blaming their actions and the way they felt it was their right to treat me like that.

I think that's a really common thought process for victims/survivors. I think so many of us are blinded, understandably, by the fear of anger that we prevent ourselves from even considering that we deserve to express ourselves if we are angry. Obviously, this is a generalization, but it's a trend I have noticed within myself and some others and it's important to address it because: you shouldn't be proud of being unable to register or emote how you are doing. Anger is neutral, and it is not inherently harmful. I know we've been hurt, but that doesn't mean we deserve aspects of our humanity to be stolen away. You deserve to feel anger because you are a person, because it is a natural, neutral emotion that we all have. I hope you are able to feel the full breadth of your emotions with no shame or guilt - you deserve love.

[variety-fangirl]

Neighbours / Moon Boys x fem!reader

Summary: you're the new neighbour, looking for a change of scenery and people, a fresh start. Your neighbour, Steven, is someone you find yourself trusting easily and quickly. Something about you both draws the other in, enticing each other to explore what this could mean. Yet, you have a secret about why you moved, will you feel comfortable enough to open up to him?

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS angst but mostly fluffy, mentions of previous toxic and abusive relationship (beginning of physical abuse, manipulation, and emotional abuse), swearing, let me know if I missed anything! Will add more later as the story progresses.

Author's note: Hello! I am back with something quick and lovely that I have been working on for a while. It feels good to get slowly back in to writing 😊 College really had taken so much out of me and my joy for writing when all I was doing for 10 months straight was writing long essays, it was also nice to take these months to relax and come to terms with everything. So much has been happening 😮‍💨 But I hope I will be back more consistently now, fingers crossed! I've been mostly writing to get new and fun ideas, hoping it would entice and inspire me to write. I hope you guys enjoy anyways and feel free to ignore my rant 😅 Feedback, comments, likes and reblogs would be greatly appreciated and lets me know how I'm doing. Thank you for reading and enjoy my loves 💜

Word count: 1.9k

You huff as you place another box on the floor of your new apartment, watching the movers bring in two more. You felt thankful that you had decided to pay extra for the movers to help you bring all your belongings up, far too much to have done on your own.

There were endless stairs, and it would have taken you hours to bring it all up here yourself, especially with your new sofa, bed, and dining room set. All were bought cheaply from a friend second-hand who was more than happy to help you. She was one of the only ones you'd told where you were going, and had left your address and new number with to contact you. Everything new and different, nothing to remind you of the old life that you'd left behind.

You started unpacking the basics whilst they brought the rest up, there were still quite a few boxes because you had to buy most stuff brand new. Luckily you had hidden as much money as possible before leaving, so you had more than enough to buy what you needed. You would work on buying extras and niceties when you had spare money throughout, you'd moved far enough that you were hoping not to have to move again unless you wanted to in the future.

That was at least the hope. Not because you were forced to leave in the middle of the night terrified for your life.

You try to take a deep breath as you subconsciously rub at the scar on your neck, you are safe now. You wanted to distract yourself for as long as possible, so you sorted the boxes out where they needed to go, to their newly allocated rooms.

It would be weird to live on your own again after so long, it had been five years since you'd run away from home and four since you'd started dating and moved in with your now ex, Noah. It was a scary thought once more, to be alone. More alone now than you'd been before, at least you had your best friend, Natalie, at home. Now, she lives four hours away from your new place in London.

You made her promise to conceal your number and hide your address, you knew he'd go to her first to ask where you'd gone. She would lie, she'd always been good at it but he wasn't stupid. He knew you would have told her, you just prayed he wouldn't hurt her. You could never forgive yourself if she got hurt because of you.

She was one of the only people who meant anything to you in this world. She at least had her boyfriend, Tyler, who was like a brother to you. He would protect her, he always hated Noah for how he treated you. Tyler had hated Noah from the moment he met him, made you known of it also but you just chalked it up to a bad first impression and yet it never improved no matter how much time they spent together. It wasn't until three years in that Noah showed his true colours and by that point, it was too late. You were in deep and he was a master manipulator and narcissist, he'd played you well. He almost came between you and Nat but she wouldn't allow it, tried to make you see him for who he really was. It didn't take much convincing when the major problems started in the last year of your relationship together.

The first time he'd hit you was a year before you left him, he apologised and said he was drunk. The typical excuse and blame on anything but himself. Promised he "won't do it again", two months go by and it happens again but this time more frequently. He drank more, went out frequently, and came back later. By the six-month mark, you caught him cheating for the first time (that you knew of).

That was the moment you vowed to leave him, it was as if all the years of manipulation and abuse faded away and you came to your senses. You had to save enough though to leave, so you let Nat and Tyler know of your plans and they helped you to set everything up. It took you six months of planning and saving, and you were finally ready.

The night finally came, you waited and told him before he had a drink, that you were leaving him. He started out crying, begging you not to leave him, you didn't budge. He tried to initiate sex, but you said no and he didn't like that. That night was the worst abuse you had endured the whole of your relationship combined. He threatened you, managed to get you down on the living room floor with a knife in hand, and held it to your neck to the point of blood drawn. You sobbed, pleaded with him, said just about anything to get him to calm down. You would still leave but you would say anything to get him off you. He began slowly slicing your neck open whilst screaming that he loved you, only luckily managing to get an inch before you kicked him in the balls hard enough that he collapsed just to the side of you.

You ran to the bathroom and locked the door, terrified out of your mind. You grabbed the first aid kit to clean and patch up the gash on your neck. Having done this a few times when he threw stuff at you or pushed you into surfaces sharp enough to cut skin. You had a few scars all over your body, it wasn't pretty but you wore them proudly to signify that you were a survivor. He tried to bash down the door before leaving, yelling about going to the bar and he would 'see to you later'. You knew that would be your only open window to leave, he would be at least two hours there. You immediately called your best friend, she and Tyler came over to help you in any way they could.

You packed two suitcases of clothes and shoes, a duffel bag of prized possessions and important bits, a backpack of money and goods to sell, and quickly changed from your bloody clothes into something clean but comfortable. You grabbed the first aid kit too for your neck. Everything was packed into your car in less than an hour, saving you enough time to wipe anything important and any trace of you behind, away. You immediately booked a two-day stay at a cheap hotel an hour away on Natalie's computer for the night so you could figure out your next move. He would come looking for you the second that he realised your stuff was gone and that terrified you, he was not a man who gave up on things he wanted.

It had taken you two months to find this apartment after a lot of rejections and failed apartment searches. It had immediately caught your eye when you saw the ad for it on one of the apartment renting sites. It was perfect for your situation. Multiple floors of tenants would make it far harder to search through unless you knew which floor to look at so you could blend among your new neighbours. A locked front door that had a security number code to be allowed entry and without it you couldn't enter. Security cameras on each floor show all angles of the apartments, which each tenant has access to for their safety and peace of mind through an app you can download on your phone.

You had downloaded and gained access before you'd started moving the boxes in. You were given access a week beforehand, which helped your anxiety and tight chest to ease just an inch. You knew it would take some time for you to feel safe and be able to walk down the street without looking over your shoulder every five minutes or keep your taser on hand in your pocket with your fingers gripping it just in case. You were constantly worried and paranoid that he was watching you from around the corner like he would pop out at any moment and drag you "home".

The police had never given a fuck about you or your situation, Noah's family has money and connections, so it was always swept under the rug. Just another number, another person to suffer in silence, until one day your dead body would have turned up. They would just pretend they didn't know. A murder gone wrong, you imagine they would chalk it up to.

You take a few calming breaths whilst unpacking, listening to the footsteps and quiet chatter from the moving company men. It eased the anxiety when someone was around, it helped you to feel safer and calmer. As if, if someone was with you or near you, you could be protected from the 'big bad wolf'. You were hoping to become friendly with some or all of the neighbours on your floor, not just for safety in case something happens but also because you'd never been allowed to make new friends with your old neighbours. Noah had made sure of that.

So, you were hoping that this move would be the perfect opportunity for you to do so. You loved to bake cakes and savoury treats but hadn't been able to with Noah because he always ruined things you loved, but now he was gone you could finally pick it back up again. You were planning to bake something sweet as a gesture to introduce yourself to your neighbours, hoping it would make a good first impression.

You walked back into the open apartment that was now your own little safe haven and smiled with contentment, this was the start of a happy new beginning for you. No more fearing what mood Noah would be in that day when he woke up, no more being abused daily, no more sobbing silently into your pillow or taking an emotionally broken moment of peace to cry out your feelings in the shower after he'd hit you. Just you, your new clean apartment, and the ability to do as you please without fear.

It didn't take the movers long to bring the remainder of your boxes up between the three of them. They took off just moments ago, and now you were finally alone. It felt strange, not hearing shouting or items smashing. Just pure blissful silence in your home. Your own place to do with as you please. It felt wonderful to have freedom.

You felt tears cloud your vision as you stared out the window you'd opened when you first stepped inside the apartment, feeling the warm Summer air blow in. The overwhelming emotions of freedom and serenity hit you like a punch to the gut, a sob immediately pulled from you as you sank to the ground. You felt the year-long toll of abuse and terror that had been weighing down your shoulders finally crumble and release you while the sun flowed into the room. You fought the battle and came out victoriously on top for the first time in your life and it felt amazing.

Once the sobs quieted down and the tears had stopped, you took a moment for yourself. You opened a bottle of your favourite wine and picked up an empty glass to pour yourself a drink. You took the bottle with you as you sat back down on the floor in front of the open window, feeling the warm breeze kiss your skin gently and watched the sun in peace. It was still early in the day, you would have plenty of time to unpack later on. But for now, you just want to relax without worry for the first time in a long time.

[anti-endo-safe-space]

This is gonna make me probably sound kinda dumb, but what is narc abuse? Why is it so problematic? / genuine question

Hey no worries!

Narc abuse is basically saying that someone was abusive BECAUSE they had Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). A disorder itself is not abusive. That's like saying there's depression abuse because the person who abused them had depression.

NPD is a highly misunderstood disorder. Most people you hear will say that pwNPD (people with NPD) are evil or abusive when they went through abuse themselves, that's what led to the disorder.

And some people will say "well I'm not talking about pwNPD but narcissists" and, let me say this clearly, being a narcists is having NPD. You can be selfish and manipulative and NOT be a pwNPD. Your ex is not one just because she cheated on you Dave, she was just an ass. NPD is not just being full of yourself, a lot of times pwNPD hate themselves or parts of them do. Obviously that's not all but. (Dave is not a real person, I'm sorry if there is a Dave reading this, I picked a random guy name).

Basically, it's people who were abused and instead of labeling it what it actually was (physical, mental, emotional, sexual, whatever it was) and want to demonize an already demonized disorder.

You will notice there are some anti endos who believe in narc abuse, they refuse to listen to those of us with the disorder.

Also also also. Narc is a word that pwNPD ONLY want pwNPD to use seeing as how it is frequently considered a slur like the r slur. Please do not use the word narc (unless your calling someone a narc as in they sold you out for something and even then, we recommend changing the spelling a bit.

[iwillvanishbeforeyou]

Just know when I disappear, I held on as long as I could