#tw flinching

[honk4shelbi]

" . . Charlie ? "

imnotokayimnotokayimnotokayimnotokayimnotokayimnotokayimnot

[whumpetywhump]

Begins ≠ Youth

Park Haru's PTSD and mental health decline

[mars-ipan]

Mars i fear i may be dying of the plague. I have coughed blood into my sink twice now and my throat feels like I gave really aggressive oral to a scrubdaddy spongue.

Do you have any priest au thoughts/scenarios/rambles to sooth a troublde lad such as mysrlf🙏🙏

hemo. as a guy who has also coughed up blood somewhat recently. it may be time to go to an urgent care and make sure it’s nothing serious. there’s a pretty nasty pneumonia going around rn and if that IS what it is the sooner you get those antibiotics the faster you’ll recover.

as for priest au stuffs: the election kinda killed my creative flow (we’re ballin but we’re stressed) BUT i’ve been trying to flesh out hajime’s backstory a bit for the the past few days so here’s some bullet point brainstorming on that :D

check under the cut for the goods, as per usual ^_^ tw for mentions of child abuse, and also a general warning for priest au-typical horny talk and homophobia

i’ve been thinking abt hajime’s childhood/past a lot, partially bc i don’t feel fully confident writing him until i have the details of his backstory fleshed out. i think his dad was more of the aggressive “no son of mine” type of homophobic, where his mom was more of the “hate the sin love the sinner” type of homophobic. it’s cliché maybe but like. traditional catholic family values yanno. his family does differ from traditional catholicism in one way though: hajime is an only child.

i don’t think hajime was ever The Manliest Man growing up. yeah he was strong from helping on the farm, but he never felt the need to flaunt his masculine attributes. he never wanted to impress girls, he never initiated an arm-wrestling contest, and once he hit teenagerhood he quit wrestling with his friends altogether. when his friends asked him why he never roughhouses with them anymore, he tensed up and mumbled something about it being “weird” and ��immature.”

he showed a lot of delicacy towards nature as well, a trait he carries into adulthood! rescuing turtles from roads, gently rehoming bugs, taking care not to step on wildflowers, that sort of thing. he was teased for this growing up :( he’d be compared to a disney princess and the like or just be called a pussy for Caring About The World Around Him. while he still loves nature and knows there’s nothing wrong with that, he does get embarrassed if his gentleness is pointed out— he’s anticipating some sort of reprimand.

been trying to think about hajime’s gay awakening. i imagine once he hit puberty he started having vague… thoughts. they weren’t attached to anyone but he kept it secret anyways since Lust Is A Sin and Masturbation Is A Sin Too and he’s not interested in growing hair on his palms or going blind (he later finds out that those are myths, but for now he heeds the tales), nor is he interested in the scolding he would get from his parents if they found out. from there we have two main options as i see it.

option A: in a parallel of the magazine he finds in Jabberwock, teen!hajime comes across some sort of gay porn. it’s completely accidental— he finds a mag or some other paraphernalia in a log or something, opens it, Realizes what is is, looks around for witnesses, and quickly stuffs it into his jacket. he’s not even sure why, but he knows he’s curious. as soon as he gets home he hides it between his mattress and his bedframe, and that night, when he’s sure his parents are asleep, he grabs a flashlight and starts to look through it. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fascinated until he realizes: he’s breathing heavily, hot in the face, absentmindedly rubbing his thighs together, and, most incriminatingly of all, he’s the hardest he’s ever been in his life. mortified, he shoves the magazine back under his mattress and tries his best to forget about what he saw, tossing and turning as he tries to calm down and go to sleep.

option B: hajime is really close with one of his peers. they’re childhood friends, and they’ve gotten along great forever. at some point, though, hajime starts feeling weird around him. not BAD weird, but… he’s nervous, and his skin seems to buzz whenever they touch, and his heart flutters when he makes his friend laugh, and… he can’t make sense of it all. not until he wakes up one night from a particularly vivid dream, chest heaving, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and his sheets soiled with the evidence of his subconscious sin. he realizes what’s going on, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he does his best to ignore it, but it haunts him.

we could also combine these options and say both of these things happen, but idk yet. i like the loneliness of the porn but i also like the guilt of having to talk to your close friend and pretend you aren’t feeling confusing and frightening things for them.

hajime lives at home until his early adulthood, when he is Caught. if we went with option A for his awakening, then he comes home one day to find The Porn sitting on the kitchen table, its pages now crinkled from years of viewing, and his heart sinks into his stomach. he’s not sure how they found it— maybe his mom was cleaning his room and lifted his mattress? but it doesn’t matter— they Know now, and he has no way to explain himself.

if we go with option B, hajime is caught with that “good friend” of his. he had snuck in via hajime’s bedroom window, at a time they both were sure hajime’s parents would be asleep. unfortunately, hajime’s dad comes up to his room (hajime never learns the original intent of this visit) and opens the door to find his son, hair and clothes a mess, with the neighbor boy straddling his thighs, hands clearly paused in the middle of lifting up his son’s shirt. it’s silent for a bit, and the tension in the air is so heavy hajime feels like he can barely breathe. still, he breaks out of the stupor first, muttering a quiet “you need to go” to his friend without breaking eye contact with his father. the friend gets the message and bolts, leaving via the same window he came from. hajime is now alone with his father, so guilty and scared that he feels nauseous.

regardless of which of these events occurs, the outcome is the same. hajime’s father responds first, yelling and berating. hajime is terrified— he’s seen his dad mad, but never like this. never shouting obscenities and vile words at him. when told to explain himself hajime stumbles over his words, eventually landing on some variant of “i don’t know.” eventually, his father decides words aren’t punishment enough, and hajime gets the shit beat out of him for the first time in his life. he tries to defend himself, but he’s never been much of a fighter, and he doesn’t want to hit his dad, self defense or not. when his father finally storms off, his mother comes near, her eyes brimming with tears. she holds her arms out to hajime, tells her baby to come here. hajime, aching and bruised and perhaps with a freshly broken nose, collapses into his mother’s arms, silently crying into her shoulder as she pets his hair. she holds him close, rocking them from side to side, before she speaks. “oh, hajime, darling,” she starts, voice thick with tears and love, “i’m sorry. we’ve failed you, haven’t we? that’s why you’re doing this to us.” hajime’s stomach curdles at those words, and he quickly excuses himself, washing the blood off his face in the bathroom sink before he locks himself in his room.

regardless of the guilt he carries— he knew he was sinning, after all— hajime knows he is no longer safe at home. his father had never beat him like that before, and he doesn’t know that he would be able to walk away if it happened again. he doesn’t want to leave his mother, but he could tell that she was disgusted by him, too, her words still echoing in his mind. so, hajime packs as many of his things as he can fit into his suitcase, and the next day he leaves town, never letting himself look back. he job hops for a bit before he manages to get his house in Jabberwock— he got really, really lucky with the price of the property.

hajime hasn’t talked to anyone from his hometown since he left, and while he still has his parents’ landline number memorized, he doesn’t dare call. his dad’s probably disowned him, anyhow. sometimes he wonders how the people he grew up with are doing, but he can’t bring himself to go back. it’s not home anymore.

[rubbish78]

Harry Judd poking Dougie Poynter in the ass with his drumsticks (x)

[spider-man-2o99]

another Important Interaction from sm2099 v1 issue #10 between miguel and his mother, conchata

[bthemistake]

The adults running the club wouldn't have ignored a bear

[Image Description:

CW, this description may be upsetting to those with SA or sexual harassment related trauma, especially directed at children, or if you find those topics upsetting, please view with caution for your own wellbeing.

Black and white, greyscale, digital drawing of a young girl sitting on theatre-style seats with a large bear sat next to her, a paw on her upper thigh.

The girl is wearing a plain t-shirt, leggings, and children's trainers with a star on the heel and hearts down the middle. She has hair past her shoulders, mostly pushed behind her, and round glasses. Her expression is uncomfortable and worried, looking off to the side for help, and her hands grip the sides of her seat as the bear keeps getting closer.

The bear is almost twice her size with glowing white eyes, spit hanging from its maw, and staring directly at the child. It could not be more obvious what it is doing, there are so many shadows of people around them, and it knows the adults are watching over the kids. It is only because no one stopped the bear, because the girl doesn't know what is happening and only that she didn't like it, that the bear keeps going.

End of Image Description.]

[vigilskeep]

May we se what Siinvi looks like? I've been looking through your blog but I can't find any pictures of her

i think i posted one pic but here’s more!

[synonymroll648]

from a vibes perspective, i totally understand why so many people look at keefe and go ‘this guy would be the male equivalent of a wine aunt when he’s older’. 

but. but. 

taking lore into consideration, in my heart, he’s terrified of alcohol (even if he tries really hard to hide it). because. like. his first exposure is almost guaranteed to be through cassius, and cassius canonically threw a glass extremely close to him at least once when he was, like, 8. maybe cassius wasn’t always extra nasty when he was drunk, but there’s gotta be a correlation in keefe’s brain between risking getting seriously hurt (emotionally or physically) and alcohol consumption that’s really hard for him to shake. 

[serickswrites]

Two for Flinching

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

Warnings: captivity, restraints, gags/muzzle, knives, forced to watch, torture

Team Leader snarled and strained against the chains that kept them bound to the chair. I’m going to rip you apart, Whumper. With my bare hands. 

Whumper laughed at Team Leader’s impotence. “You can’t get me, so why fight?” Whumper circled Smallest Teammate, running their hands through Smallest Teammate’s hair. 

Smallest Teammate squeaked as they flinched back from Whumper’s touch. But Whumper fisted their hair and kept them still. 

“LEAVE THEM ALONE!” Team Leader roared. 

“Why in the ever loving fuck would I do that? They are so pretty,” Whumper said as they caressed Smallest Teammate’s hair once more. 

“STOP IT! STOP IT!” Team Leader yelled as they watched the tears roll down Smallest Teammate’s face. 

Suddenly Whumper stalked over to Team Leader, their face inches from Team Leader’s. “Stop. Ruining. My. Fun.”

Team Leader spat in Whumper’s face. “Fuck you.”

Whumper glared down at Team Leader as they wiped the spit off their face. “You’re going to regret that.” They nodded at Accomplice. 

Accomplice quickly crossed the room and pressed a blade to Smallest Teammate’s throat. Smallest Teammate stilled, their eyes wide with terror. 

“Don’t hurt them! Please! Don’t.” Team Leader begged instantly regretting their display. Please don’t hurt them. Hurt me. Not them.

“I need you to be still. And quiet.” Whumper growled. “And stop ruining my fun.”

Team Leader nodded. “I will be quiet. And still. Just hurt me. Please. Leave them alone.” 

“Oh I am going to hurt you, Team Leader. Just not yet.” Whumper lifted a muzzle from the table of instruments nearby. “But I’m going to make sure I don’t hear your fucking voice any time soon.”

Team Leader’s heart was in their throat. They would not let Whumper muzzle them. They couldn’t. They started to struggle again, but froze as Accomplice pressed the blade once more to Smallest Teammate’s throat. 

Whumper smiled. “Very good. Maybe you aren’t so stupid after all.”

Before Team Leader could respond, Whumper was wrestling the muzzle onto their head. It was tight and prevented Team Leader from making any sound. They tried not to cry as they realized they wouldn’t even be able to offer comforting words to Smallest Teammate. 

And that this was all their fault. 

“Perfect,” Whumper cooed. “This will be fun.” And they waltzed back over to Smallest Teammate, a twinkle in their eye and a pep in their step. “Don’t worry,” Whumper said as they looked over their shoulder, “it’ll be your turn soon.”

[arecaceae175]

Febuwhump Day 2: Flinching (Time)

This one is inspired by my all time favorite thing ever: this comic by @wolfy1298. This fic is not exactly what happens in the comic, but it has some of the same scenes and the same vibes and I was seeing it in my head as I wrote this. AO3 link.

Warnings: none.

The full moon shone brightly, illuminating the camp in its pale glow. Warriors stretched his arms above his head and allowed himself a moment to wake up before he moved. 

Judging by the moon’s position, it was well past his turn for watch. Warriors lifted himself up from his bedroll with a yawn and curled his scarf tighter around his shoulders to ward off the chill. He glanced quickly around camp, doing a quick headcount, before he carefully walked over to Time.

Time was perched on a rock, sword drawn and placed over his knees. He was staring at the moon with an unreadable expression on his face. Time’s hands were loosely clasped together and two fingers were on his wedding ring, twirling the band in lazy circles.

“Time?” Warriors asked in a whisper. Time didn’t react. Warriors glanced back at the other heroes sleeping, then back to Time’s motionless form. Very gently, he placed a hand on Time’s shoulder. 

Time flinched. It was a small movement, and he took control over his body nearly instantly, but Warriors didn’t miss it. He pulled his hand back and left it to hover anxiously above Time’s shoulder. 

“Old man? You with me?” Warriors asked. 

“My apologies. You startled me,” Time said. He moved one hand to rest on the hilt of his sword. 

Warriors hesitated, then asked, “Are you okay?”

Time sighed deeply, his eyes moving back up to the night sky. “I’m alright. I was just… thinking,” Time said in a quiet voice. 

Warriors narrowed his eyes, taking in the bags beneath Time’s eyes and his white-knuckled grip on his sword. As if he noticed Warriors’ gaze, Time heaved another sigh and relaxed his grip on the sword.

“You don’t need to worry about me, Captain. I’ll be alright,” Time said. 

Warriors huffed a laugh and flicked one side of his scarf over Time’ shoulders. “It’s far too late for that,” he said with a smile. 

Time returned his smile, and Warriors could have sworn he saw a faint blush cross Time’s cheeks. Warriors unwound his scarf and settled it more securely around Time’s shoulders. He moved Time’s sword to rest against the rock then lowered himself down onto the rock next to Time.

“It’s my watch. Get some sleep, sprite,” Warriors said. Time’s lips quirked up and he dropped his head onto Warriors’ shoulder. Warriors chuckled.

“I meant in your bedroll, you gremlin,” Warriors said.

“Same thing,” Time mumbled, pulling Warriors’ scarf tighter around his body.

Warriors shook his head and tried with all his might to keep from smiling. He wrapped an arm around Time’s shoulders, a content and nostalgic feeling in his heart. 

If this was what Time needed to feel safe tonight, Warriors would happily act as his pillow for as long as he needed.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

one odd thing about going deeper is that I'm no longer satisfied with shallower. and that's, weirdly enough, a net positive. I've self harmed - eh, twice? in the last month. both were well into the criteria that should have got sutures and ignored it; suspect I hit a vein once and was extremely close to muscle, which feels kind of odd. yeah, it's ramped up; yeah, there's a lot of blood and all that kind of stuff. very high risk of infection, potential nerve damage and all that kind of stuff (though I have not got either of them; I scared off an infection that wanted to hang round by chucking quantities of alcohol on it). but at the same time. that's only twice. that's a lot better than previously.

[aceofwhump]

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities

Episode 5 "Pickman's Model"

[starfruitsomething]

THESE THINGS

YEP THESE RIGHT HERE

When I tell you I would rather walk out of the bathroom hands SOPPING WET with huge water stains down my clothes, then put any part of my body near these ear-killing-death-machines-that-DONT-EVEN-FUCKING-DRY-YOUR-HANDS!!

[bueris]

remembering how my old biology teacher had a whole speech about how dangerous the acids in the lab were and at the end of it he just dumped a considerable amount of it on his hand and everyone just watched the first layer of his skin schlop off before he washed it off

[citrusreseedarling]

Isn't this just relatable?

[painonthebrain]

JuneofDoom Day 6 - Flinch

@juneofdoom

Content: Gun use, standard buckshot roulette things

The music from outside thuds through the walls.

Reverb had made his choice. Signed the waiver.

His name glows bright on the screen counting his score.

Only so many chances.

The music thrums in his veins. His blood is warm.

He listens to Lilith. Plays the game.

… The shells are inserted in a random order.

He knows this. Everyone who plays the game knows. They know the risks.

The music sounds distorted. Faint, but too loud to concentrate.

… Concentrate!

He holds the rifle. He knows there shouldn’t be any live rounds left. He’s been counting.

��� Is his heartbeat syncing with the music?

He pauses, gripping the handle. Fingering the trigger.

Reverb’s hands shake.

He presses his finger down — flinching violently, reacting on impulse.

Click.

…

A blank.

He shudders, letting out a breath.

He knew that. What else was he expecting?

Taking a deep breath, he sets the rifle down.

When he looks up, he can see Lilith smiling.

She looks him in the eye and picks up the rifle for the next round.