#tropes that make me unreasonably happy

[jadiefoxwrites]

Pass the happy! 🌻 🌈 When you receive this list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications! ❤️

18+ Reminder

I want to make this on topic for me so I'm going to talk about 5 things in erot*ca and smutty stories that make me happy.

Loss of control. Regardless of what kind of control is being lost, I love reading a well-written piece on that feeling of finally feeling free enough to let go–especially when there's some sort of fight or build-up.

The combination of adoring praise and amused degradation/humiliation, all done in love and with consent of course. This always makes such an interesting relationship dynamic to me and by the end of these stories, I'm usually smiling about how cute (and hot) the characters are.

Aftercare at the end of really intense scenes where the reader may not have been included in the discussion ahead of time or aware of the fact that this is just a scene and the real people are completely different from the characters they were role-playing.

Accidental kink discovery. Like when A pulls on B's hair and the moan B lets out is louder than any sound they've made before.

When A does something they're really embarrassed by but B has never felt more turned on by anything in their life and goes absolutely feral in response.

[hwanchaesong]

Enhypen: Tropes & Parallels

Synopsis: Love portrayed in different kinds of ways and worlds.

🥀 Heeseung: Sanctuary (Love Epiphany)

genre: angst, smut, fluff

"Will you believe me if I told you that you're my whole sky? Dazzling like the orange sun, prettier than the sinking sunset over the glistening cerulean sea. You are my calm during the night. Will you believe me if I said that from the start to finish, you're the one I've prayed for?"

Preview

🌌 Jay: Chatoyant (Soulmate)

genre: angst, fluff, smut

"Every waking day, I asked the sun to look after your well being. Every sleepless night, I wished for the moon to let you be safe. I implored the whole universe to guide you back to me. Here, in my arms. So I could marry you like I always promised. So you could love me like how I deserve it."

Preview

🪐Jake: Idyllic (Mutual Pining)

genre: fluff, angst, smut

"How many times do I stumble down this dead end? How many times should I meet all these wrong people just to meet the right, destined one? Tell me, how long should I tolerate more of this suffering? When will I be able to leave this hell hole? When the sweet happiness finally has turned into an ugly resentment?"

Preview

❄️ Sunghoon: Quintessence (Forbidden Love)

genre: angst, smut, fluff

"Do my words mean nothing to you unless they are on an old paper, written metaphorically? Are any of my sentences and paragraphs trash just because they don't rhyme poetically? Then, what if we let the stars align tonight, by chance, by fate, by destinies and against all odds, will you allow me to enter your life?"

Preview

🤍 Sunoo: Labyrinth (Unexpected Love)

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive

"These pretty faces won't be the reason why I'll let myself fall in love again. I will not accept someone who brings an unreasonably expensive bouquet only during special occasions. I can't make any promises anymore, not in a tranquil and joyful way. Please forgive me, because if I open my heart again, I don't think I will be ready for it to bleed until I die."

Preview

🍀 Jungwon: Ephemeral (Second Chances)

genre: angst, fluff, suggestive

"Were your feelings truly genuine or you just weren't patient enough? Did you really love me or were you in love with the thought of having someone kiss you during your darkest nights, or having someone hold you during your coldest days? The chances that weren't given to you, you only chose me for that, right? Successfully distracting your heart that wasn't meant to take a risk."

Preview

Read here

🪷 Riki: Paradox (Enemies to Lovers)

genre: angst, fluff, suggestive

"No, not once did I question the moment where I felt like drowning when you decided to walk the other way, turning your back on me. Surprise was the last emotion I felt when someone took my spot once I'm out of the picture. The only thing that is wrong here is me. I made the mistake of asking you the truth, then choosing to believe the untrue."

Preview

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a/n: again, another one that's in my drafts for so long, i had to post this and add to the masterlist ig. feel free to message, send an ask, or comment under this post if you want to be added to the taglist :3

[hahahafangirl]

gotta put my thoughts down before i forget it but the thing that did it in for me is how spy x family is ultimately and uniquely a “children-focused” work, where the major stakes require that we pay attention to the lives and dynamics of young children so that — specifically — we have to genuinely engage with and invested in their inner lives, motivations, desires, thoughts, emotions, etc.

i think this is a very unique focus in the shounen sphere, where the audience and creators are centered about adolescent boys (the shounen genre, in its name) and thus have a very wide scope of focus that nonetheless has “aged” past “childhood”. usually media about children and childhood are sequestered in its own genre (children’s shows like doraemon, magical girl anime like precure series, etc.) aimed at a different target audience who are in the same demographic as the main characters in the shows. this is, obviously, not a bad thing. but i appreciate the “genre-breaking” focus that spy x family have because it inspires a sort of empathy to children, who are often not the most favorite group of people for the typical demographic of shounen readers, that is specifically vital in today’s climate. (can’t say much about japan itself, who historically has been dealing with declining birth rates, but oh i can speak for the american individualism— ironically where sxf is also very popular in) another thing about this is it’s drive home how intertwined the family life is, and should be. agent twilight and thorn princess’s plot-lines are clearly shounen-esque (a spy fighting for world peace, an assassin weeding out traitors) but they are nonetheless inextricable from the family- and anya-focused story, because by choice or circumstances they are anya’s parents. they’re a part of a larger societal fabric that embedded them in relationships to others — children being one of them. i think that’s pretty neat.

another thing, specially about the depiction of children in sxf: they are fictitious yet realistic enough to portray real children and inspire sympathy for them. a lot of asian home media in general have the problems of portraying young children as “problems”: annoying, loud, privileged, dumb, ungrateful, etc etc. these are such complaints about children that are unfortunately way too common and way too ungenerous and mean-spirited; none of these tropes are present, even in a media full of scions and heiress. complaints about them being brats (red circus bus hijacking arc) was rightfully framed as unsympathetic and unreasonable (they’re children! they can’t help where they were born into— it goes both ways.) i think the crux of this beautiful balance sxf struck in portraying nuanced, dynamics children is sympathy. they can be loud, they can be whiny, cry at the drop of a hat, has too much energy, gross, have bad grades, clingy, inconsistent, academically unmotivated, ran off randomly— and that’s fine, because we know why they do it, we are given space into their inner thoughts, something so rarely afforded to real life children at times. but they can be motivated, they want world peace, they want to have genuine friends, they want their friends to be happy, they have crushes, and most of all they love their parents and they love the people around them.

i think regardless of everything sxf is a work that understands that children are full of love and the majority of the things they do are out of love. i think that alone makes it incredible in the current socio-econo-political climate where sympathy is spared so little and humanity spreads so thin children barely gets what they deserve. i suppose that’s the sort of war we are entrenched in.

[vazanni]

The wonderful thing about LBFAD to me is the subversion of the tropes that you usually only get in fanfiction and the fact that it doesn’t drag and it’s not over the top.

We have enemies to lovers, but with a clever twist that the female lead doesn’t know that it’s enemies-to-lovers for about the first third of the show.

We have slow burn, but it doesn’t drag so much that you lose interest and there’s this shimmering attraction and chemistry from the 2nd episode on.

We have misunderstandings but they don’t last for more than 1-2 episodes because DFQC and XLH actually do have good reasons for those misunderstanding and conflicts considering their positions and how new they’re both to the feelings. And they both think about their feelings and each other’s feelings and try to figure it out, instead of just acting out of stubbornness and anger. And, yes, they can both be petty and unreasonable and jealous, but they never purposefully hurt each other because of it.

We have ‘I would break up with you to save you’ but it’s written so well, that it doesn’t seem like a completely stupid selfish decision AND the best part – the other person doesn’t buy it.

And all those tropes and subversions, they don’t drag. My problem with many Asian drama, especially cdrama, is that suffering is kind of fetishized for my taste? Like it goes on and on and on, and the few moments of happiness aren’t enough to make up for it. Especially in cdramas, it’s sometimes an everlasting circle of pain and love-hate where the ML and FL just keep hurting each other. To the point that I just end up thinking that they should not be together.

LBFAD in contrast is a beautiful example of gradual character development for both of the main leads. And just as their emotional awareness and emotional intelligence develop, so do their relationship.

[floatingxendlessly]

Day 27, 105 hours

It took me. 105. hours. To finish this piece :0

I hope yall's weeks have been better than mine TwT. No air conditioning in either of our cars, the mechanics have been blowing us off about, AND we got sick with fevers/colds, it was miserable. I was practically withering away in bed cuz I got hit the hardest ;v;

But anyways, it's them. The boys! They're on a pier. Cuz I love the beach <3

This piece wasn't supposed to take this long! It was a digital sketch that I was gonna polish up a bit, but I ended up adding more to it as I continued.

I was loosely inspired by those dramatic "catching the love interest when they trip/fall" trope in manhwa cuz it makes me so unreasonably happy. I think its soo cute!

Anyways, I should've mentioned this before but I won't be able to do an everyday upload, more like an every other day thing. But I was wondering if yall have any Kuzusouda requests? They wouldn't be full pieces, more like detailed sketches, but I'd like to hear yall's ideas. I dunno, I think it'd be nice to do a little collaboration with you guys. (o3o)/ Inbox? Ask box? DMs? ...they're open, send me ideas and I'll interpret them :3

BONUS ART: xSplatoon

Squid kids. Man, this game had me obsessed for almost an entire year. I was there the moment Splatoon 3 released. Dunno what weapons they'd main specifically but Fuyuhiko might do well with Dualies, especially if paired with Peko and a Splatana. Kazuichi would prolly mesh the best with a Charger.

I think this was the second digital art piece I did since the beginning of my lil challenge. A fun and little journey to understanding and finding a painting style with Ibis, my main art program.

[bebx]

One of the things I love about Lokius is that, if you're someone like Thor and you're introduced to Mobius, and you had to appraise this funky lil dude in 10 seconds, you know the immediate, visceral reaction is: HIM?! This folksy guy with the ugly brown suit, haircomb mustache, corny dad jokes, average height, and middle-aged tummy? This guy?!

Because if you've only ever known up to Phase 3 Loki, it's not unreasonable to think he'd go for someone up to his "standards"; someone sexy, alluring, powerful, fashionable, and a little bit dramatic. Heck, that's what present Loki expected, too.

But no, it turns out it's very much THIS GUY, with the slight southern twang, no mystical powers whatsoever--not even basic super strength--and a love for snacks. THIS GUY who has a general calmness about him and whose epitome of joy is jet skis. THIS GUY who manages to find a little bit of purpose in bureaucratic paperwork.

It's objectively hilarious and, from a trope perspective, very sweet. Because a healthy, healing individual would see past the superficial and fall for the heart. All those quirks? Endearing. But what matters most is this person believed in you from the start, when you were at your worst and lowest. The wrinkles? Memories of all those times he laughed, smiled, or worried for you. The white hair? Very stately. Gorgeous, like a silver fox. But maybe Mobius is more of a coyote. With that silly knee-slapping laugh and wily mind. The soft tummy? A reminder of every time you had a heart to heart at the cafeteria or "detoured for refreshments" during a mission. So huggable. So perfect.

And past Loki would be appalled. He'd call it pathetic. This puny mortal? Oh, how low you've fallen ... A disgrace!

Present Loki would be so /offended/ by his own arrogance. By his own blindness!

"Yes," he'd say, chin up, eyes firm. "HIM."

this reminds me of this fic I wrote here where Mobius meets Thor and the rest of the Avengers as Loki’s special someone and they’re all shocked because Loki???? The Loki????? with This Guy????????!!!. I mean not to shamelessly promote my own fic or anything but Loki, a god, ending up with Mobius, a little guy, is the concept that is so precious to me I had to write a fic about it.

and yes, Mobius being just a Little Guy is what makes him so special as a character. we have all these superheroes Marvel introduced us to and then you have Mobius. and somehow he still manages to be such a popular fan’s favorite and also I think Mobius just being who he is is what draws — mind you, not just Loki but also so many fans towards to him. like everything you’ve described about him here is actually what makes me a fan of him. so really, we can’t blame Loki for falling head over heels in love with him here.

Thor’s reaction to meeting this boyfriend of Loki would be so hilariously precious too. but also, I believe it wouldn’t take long at all for Thor to grow overprotective of Mobius because Mobius is a good man with a heart of gold and most importantly, Mobius makes Thor’s brother happy. and Thor will do anything to make sure no one looks at Mobius the wrong way.

[sixofpomegranates]

Most of them are Eddie Munson fics since I am going through some severe brain rot because of this spicy golden retriever. Also, how dark shall my recommendations go? I surely have some dark taste in smut but keep it mostly calm for you. Let me know!

The order is random and not indicative of how much I liked them. There is no ranking, just sharing some really good pieces of work so we can all enjoy it!

13 Recommendations || 🐇 = My opinion. || Pink Color = SMUT

Ghostin’ (series) by @munson-blurbs

➢ Summary: Before dying in the Upside Down, Eddie asks Steve to take care of you. The grief coupled with your burgeoning feelings for one another may be too much for you to handle, especially when you get some shocking news.

🐇: Holy shit. This is one of the most impressive pieces of fanfiction I have ever read. It's— I feel speechless and like telling you the entire plot at the same time. It ties in with canon so perfectly, I would legit accept it as my Season 5. This is amazing. I cried, laughed, and am unreasonably invested. No shit. If you only ever read one fanfiction of my recommended ones, it needs to be this! || Still ongoing / Steve Harrington x f!Reader

You, Me, & Steve (one-shot) by @lis-likes-fics

➢ No Summary, so just listen to me describe it: Okay, so, Reader and Eddie are a couple and lately Eddie brings Steve along to everything, causing Reader to think he wants to be with Steve. Turns out our Babygirl is bicurious and Eddie offered that he and Reader be Steve’s first bi experience should she be up for it. She is. Here are the warnings or how I like to call it shopping list: smut, face riding, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, deepthroating, praise kink, daddy kink, gay sex, I'm not saying Steve's a sub but Steve's a sub, bottom!Steve, top!Eddie, switch?reader, overstimulation, threesome...

🐇: Listen: I read this fic a couple of months ago and LOST it! I couldn't find it anymore! BUT the way Reader and Eddie gave me MASSIVE bi-panic stuck in my head. THIS is one of my top Eddie x Steve x Reader fics... asdfghjkl. Do yourself a favor and read this kinky piece of porn.

helping hands. (one-shot) by @daddyreid

➢ Summary: you and steve are having some trouble getting you to fit him, so he takes you to his friend eddie, who is happy to help.

🐇: I love when things have vibes. And this had vibes. I would read an entire series like this. It’s a very good one-shot. daddy!steve harrington & dom!eddie. That's it. That's all I have to say. I also have a daddy kink so... Yeah.

Bad Idea (one-shot) by @lunarzstarz

➢ Summary: Not wanting to leave for college with your virginity still intact, you turn to your last resort that you know can only end terribly…

🐇: Fuckboy!Eddie can ruin my life. I am in pain but very pleased. I– This– He– The things he said... 💳💥💳💥 // Just read that there will be more parts and I– I just– YES?! This is so good.

as long as you need (one-shot) by @lilacletter

➢ Summary: your hang out with eddie takes a different turn when you confess something big to him. your ex wouldn’t make you cum because he thought you took too long to finish. eddie's reaction of shock and disbelief is the last thing you were expecting. you feel embarrassed for a moment but lucky for you, eddie has a lot of patience and a hidden desire to take care of you.

🐇: Wow. I loved this so much. So sweet. So smutty. So dorky. So perfect. 10/10. Bestfriend!Eddie & friends to lovers have my whole heart.

It's About Time (one-shot) by @eddiethefreakkmunson

➢ Summary: You and your best friend Eddie decide it's time to lose your virginity to each other, after all who is a better choice than the person you love more than anyone else in the world?

🐇: This was so sweet! I have such a weak spot for these tropes! Not to mention that Eddie is so soft through all of this. 100% boyfriend material.

the freak pirate and the slut princess (one-shot) by @mypoisonedvine

➢ Summary: halloween is that special night where you can be anything you want to be... maybe more than the labels everyone else gives you. maybe even more than 'just friends'. (aka, reader has a reputation, eddie's still a virgin, filth ensues)

🐇: This fic lives in my head rent-free. My brain chemistry got rearranged. Get your dose of friends to lovers & virgin!Eddie here! You won't regret it.

I´ll Paint You Mornings Of Gold (one-shot) by @shamevillain

➢ Summary: You’re the most special thing Eddie has in his life, he just wants to make sure you know it.

🐇: Labyrinth aka my favorite movie, spaghetti as candles, Eddie being so in love and high on sugar... Perfection.

Only Lonely (one-shot) by @shamevillain

➢ Summary: Rumors about Eddie Munson have run rampant as long as you can remember. You’ve crossed paths only briefly, but maybe the notorious freak of Hawkins isn’t as bad as you’ve come to believe.

🐇: YOU HAVE TO READ THIS! I lost it a while ago and finding it again was like discovering the lost city of Atlantis for me! The smut rearranged my brain chemistry. I am foaming at the mouth, that how good it was. And Eddie was perfect! Goofy, hot, sweet... 10/10. Seriously. Read it.

—✨The one's that follow are solely Omegaverse—A/O/B one-shots. I have fallen down the Omegaverse – Rabbit Hole. Didn't see myself interested in this. Yet, here I am. Don't judge me. Seriously. I’ll block you.✨—

it happened one night in detention (one-shot) by @mypoisonedvine

➢ Summary: eddie's chances of being an alpha are quite small. your chances of presenting as an omega, especially while still in high school, are almost none. almost.

🐇: I guess it has to do with my size kink and the fact that I am the most submissive bottom you've ever seen, but this? ↑THIS↑ is my jam. // edit: I read the book Heat Haven by Sarah Blue after this on Kindle Unlimited, and yeah, I am still into this. So into this.

I Heard Your Voice and it Carries Me (one-shot) by @cha0ticspacebi

➢ Summary: Like 91% of the population, you were now and would always be a beta. Except when your roommate moves out suddenly and fate connects you with Alpha Eddie Munson. After that, things start to change.

🐇: Don't look at me 🫣! I already told you I fell down a rabbit hole! This was so cute & fluffy, and the well-developed worldbuilding in this one-shot is so good. Don't judge me!

little glass doves (one-shot) by @mysticmunson

➢ No Summary, so enjoy my attempt to describe it: Alpha!Eddie and Omega!Reader are already a couple and recently both presented. Their friends are keeping them now at distance since... Hormones, Ya know?

🐇: No smut, just hinting. But it's so cute.

between four walls (one-shot) by @mysticmunson

➢ Summary: when you disappear from school for a few days, eddie is a bit bewildered, until he has a sneaking suspicion.

🐇: I hope this author never stops feeding my alpha!eddie addiction. This is the spicy brother of “little glass doves.” Stunning.

To the writers of these fics:

[qiu-yan]

16, 17, 22, 23 for the ask game?

choose violence ask game

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

answered here!

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

there's a decent amount of this sort of content already, but i'm always happy to see more content revolving around jiang cheng, jin guangyao, and qin su's coparenting adventures.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

honestly, i feel like all the parts of canon i enjoy have no shortage of other fans, due simply to how big and diverse this fandom is. that said...

canonically, the yiling patriarch was op as fuck. wei wuxian was not some uwu unfairly maligned defenseless innocent, he was one of the most powerful, genius, and dangerous people of his generation. wei wuxian is not weak! wei wuxian is a once-in-a-lifetime genius who invented entirely new modes of violence and cruelty, and being afraid of him is in fact an entirely understandable response!

one of the things i really appreciate about MDZS is that, from their own flawed and half-informed point of view, the public turning against wei wuxian was not entirely unreasonable. it's very easy to write a story in which The Evil Society turns against the Poor Maligned Protagonist for no good reason, thereby making it look like your fictional universe is inhabited purely by morons, but MXTX did not write that story. MXTX actually put thought into her story, so the internal logic guiding the public's actions, while flawed and morally corrupt, is still something the reader can logically follow. even if we disagree with their conclusions, we can still logically understand how the mob got from point A to point B.

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

xicheng. for precisely one reason: it would make lan wangji really mad.

i already really enjoy the massive haters-forced-to-become-BILs relationship between lan wangji and jiang cheng. and now you're telling me there's a way we can add even more BIL drama to the mix? we can give lan wangji a reason to beef with jiang cheng that's entirely unrelated to wei wuxian? we can have someone provide snarky asshole commentary on how lan wangji ding dong ditched lan xichen at the end of canon? sign me up. i am already on board.

there are a lot of reasons to ship xicheng, and there are a lot of reasons not to ship xicheng. the xicheng that exists in my mind is just as much of a problem-causing ship as it is a problem-solving ship (a post for another day). but listen. i don't care about any of that. none of that matters to me. the one and only thing that does matter to me is making lan wangji seethe.

i've also come around to lan qiren x jiang cheng for similar (identical) reasons.

[waterfowl69]

bell stuff

"Is it better to grieve what you lost or to not know you had anything to lose" - this is something my friend said when I was brain rotting about Bell one night and I genuinely don't think I will ever get over it.

Something that I'm going to try and talk about on here are my head canons and just general thoughts for different characters so it's only natural to talk about Bell. something that I think about a lot when it comes to Bell is the one sided/unrequited love trope between Bell and Adler. They have such an interesting dynamic and the fact that to Bell, Adler is their EVERYTHING is something I always get really hung up on. To me Bell and Adler's relationship is VERY "Somethin' Stupid" by Frank Sinatra. Bell spends their days following Adler around like a lost puppy. They are simply nothing without Adler's commands and unknowingly cannot help but *love* Adler because of this fabricated bond. I don't think that Bell would ever notice how easily Adler gets snappy with them, or how just generally hostile he is. I believe that every time Bell had a nightmare or couldn't sleep they immediately went to Adler opposed to Sims or Park. Every time Bell needed something they went to Adler no matter the time of day, or how big or small the ask was. Because of Bell's false friendship with Adler (Bell LITERALLY being made to believe that Adler was their best friend) I think that bothers Adler to an unreasonable extent; in the terms of Somethin' Stupid because I really love toxic yaoi, I just need Bell misinterpreting Adler's unusually kind acts as acts of love opposed to things hes doing to "get the job done," and in return Adler just genuinely hating Bell.

Anyway, due to the brain washing and conditioning Bell getting fed false memories of doing things with Alder to "strengthen their bond," to Bell Adler is genuinely their best friend - and it doesn't matter if this is platonic or stems into something more because I genuinely believe that Adler would despise Bell for it either way.

I believe that Adler is a generally spiteful man, no matter the scenario. So when you place him into the position where he has to "befriend" and "work with" a known communist terrorist?? Who was VERY high up in Perseus' ranks?? Naturally Adler is going to see Bell as scum and that fact is so important to me. I think that this would prevent Adler from forming any actual bond with Bell which is why he didn't hesitate after the Cuba mission to potentially make Bell overdose (just generally having zero regard for their safety), and why he so easily killed Bell during the Solovetsky ending. (If we take the Duga endings into account, Adler kills Bell and feels nothing but anger knowing that he was right in believing they were scum, and he tries to do the same in the Revenge ending but doesn't succeed.) This dynamic of Bell being dependent on Adler, and Adler hating Bell for existing is something that drives me insane.

It is the fact that at the end of the day, Bell is a fundamentally good person. That upon erasing everything they were, in the canon ending, Bell chose to tell the truth. And I think that is something Adler can't handle. Despite it all, Bell was a good person. Which is why a "happy" Solovetsky ending is something that actually ruined my life LMAO. No matter what, at least one of their guns went off and lets just say hypothetically neither of them got fatally wounded. You now have Adler, a man who despises Bell and failed to 'take out the trash,' and Bell, who can't even fathom why Adler would pull a gun on them in the first place. But with that, you also have a Bell who would be incapable of integrating back into society. Bell is someone who doesn't even know their own name, let alone their mother's face, the town they grew up in, how old they are, their favorite food, and anything else the CIA thought was unimportant when they erased Bell's identity. Realistically how could Bell ever recover from that? Bell has legitimate PTSD, not only from MKUltura, but from Vietnam; a country they never stepped foot in. Bell would still have that dependency on Adler to tell them what the next step is; "We have a job to do," is such a daunting phrase for a post-Solovetsky era Bell. A Bell where they lack all senses of individuality, and are absolutely terrified to do and decide things for themselves is so unbelievably real to me.

I know this has gotten a lot less well worded and more ramble-ish BUT the quote from the beginning of this post: "Is it better to grieve what you lost or to not know you had anything to lose?" Is it better for Bell to have died on the cliff in Solovetsky, not having the time to fully realize the extent of the gaps in their memory. Or for Bell to live and try to recover? Just. The idea that Adler did Bell a favor in killing them, that it was his one act of remorse rather than revenge fills my stomach with dread.

Okay that's all thank you.

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 17, 2021 1:00 a.m. paradise hotel

[grant] you can have first dibs on trying. my family on all sides and in all countries have been too successful at matching people.

[henry] time to humble them?

[grant] besides, mama ong didn't get a chance with you. you figured it out a decade ago!

[henry] two decades ago if you count the time soobin and i crossed paths in vacation bible school and she kind of sort of ruined my watercolor painting of jesus.

[grant] isn't that crazy? the same girl you, uhhh, almost punched in a church is the same woman you fell in love with at a college cheese club meeting?

[henry] the enemies to lovers trope lives on.

[grant] you're basically a fanfiction. enemies to lovers plus soulmates because neither of you ever dated anyone else.

[grant] man, the universe is so weird. seven plus billion people on earth and you guys run into each other twice.

[henry] the first time was a total fluke, too. how were we at the same VBS when we didn't go to the same church or live in the same town? oh, and we didn't recognize each other from our first encounter until years into our adult relationship.

[insook] her family seems to have forgotten the incident, too. permanently, though.

[insook] which is good because i defended you when i shouldn't have and things got ugly.

[henry] you defended me?! mom, i threatened to punched someone. in a church. over nothing worth that level of aggression.

[insook] oh, not for that. that's unforgivable. you knew that. i punished you. but i defended you when soobin's mom insulted you. now don't worry - she likes you these days!

[insook] still, a parenting tip: you can never reason with a parent in an unreasonable state.

[henry] i could have gone without knowing that. i'm not going to bother asking what she said about me. i find her intimidating. she's like if your mom wasn't evil, grant.

[grant] you know, that's extremely hard to imagine. i'll just assume you mean rich and strict.

[insook] that would be about right. but she is nice! oh, look at the time. i have to go now, i'm sorry. i have book club soon!

[henry] that's fine! have fun. i'll call you back tomorrow.

[insook] of course. you two have fun as well! yes, have fun, sleep well, make sure you eat, and mind your health, grant.

[insook] by the way, i'm glad you're still best friends.

[henry] couldn't have it any other way. this guy's pretty cool.

[grant] i literally adore you.

[insook] i'm not surprised–just happy. a good friend is one of the only things in life that can be forever.

[insook] now don't forget to call me again! i love you kids.

[henry] i would never forget. love you.

[grant] i love you, too, mama ong! bye bye bye.

[ar-feyniel]

Daemyra fic recs

I am bored out of my mind, so I decided to make this post even though no one asked for it. A list of my current favs (I have many more, trust me, but I will try to keep this list concise) 1) over the counter by AmazingAngie 1/1 (modern) This fic makes me unreasonably happy. Idk, it's just endlessly hot and positive and all the good things without being tooth-rotting. 2) give me what i want by Amazing Angie 1/1 (historical) This is so self-indulgent - like a mug of your favourite hot chocolate. Ticks all my boxes and is exceptionally well-written 3) There's Just Something About Older Men by grandlovescheme 6/? (modern) Am I biased? Yes, I am. But this is a modern AU with OC Baelon being tortured and Daemon being the perfect father and husband... The emotional maturity of this man is so hot. 4) Your Body in My Arms by grandlovescheme 1/1 (modern) Another fic I love to reread when I am feeling sad or uninspired. It's just pure serotonin, and we all love bookstores, don't we? ;) 5) the echoes of your faithless prayers by Awfullylongtime 7/7 (canonverse)

Canonverse with Daemon being Rhaenyra's prisoner on Dragonstone. It has poignant writing unique to Awfully and a beautiful ending. 6) The king's song is a battlecry by Awfullylongtime 14/? (canonverse)

King!Daemon AU. Brilliantly written and has so many tropes I enjoy. Captivity, bondage, mind games. Gods, I love it so much! 7) i got a bad desire (baby i'm on fire) by luthien_under_bough 9/? (modern)

The true OG of maybedaddy AUs - the one by luthien. It has a perfect mixture of angst and smut - the author is a pro in writing these complicated feelings. 8) ain't nobody hurt you like i hurt you by luthien_under_bough 6/6 (modern) Daemyra being a mess - cheating on their spouses, trying to figure out their feelings, hurting each other as a form of revenge. It was recently completed, and it's just so, so good!

[iamafanofcartoons]

We need to address how media, and media critics, portray female characters poorly. What can be done about it? What are examples of media works that portray complex female characters well? What are writing tips for people trying to write complex female characters? Why do media critics hate on women?

Its just something I noticed.

Male writers drop the ball with female characters all the time. They'll give the men all the good lines but women get weak roles and no sense of humor. When we complain they then make a female character who has too many boyfriends and too much ego and too much power but no resourcefulness, or she's super powerful but still needs a man to save her, and of course they make her complain about everything and fight with everyone who helps her. I could go on and on.

A lot of people are incapable of viewing female characters as anything other than an innocent saint or a portrait of pure evil. Arguably the best characters are morally ambiguous ones who live in the gray area between good and evil, but women are much less often afforded that distinction than their male counterparts.

I'm been having a huge problem connecting to media. The only women around are very young or very old and their main defining feature is usually motherhood. If a woman my age exists who isn't a mom she's usually either obsessed with men or desperate to have a baby (or will be once the right dude comes along).

Fanfiction has great female characters , but you keep running into people who will only write a complex woman who's tied to a male main character.

Michael Burnham from Star Trek: Discovery . POC Female Protagonist. You probably have heard or seen a lot of hatred against.

Korra from The Legend Of Korra. Sequel Series to ATLA. POC Female Protagonist. Despite losing fights and suffering extreme trauma and making mistakes, critics passionately bash the show, calling her a Mary-Sue, and accusing the show of being Protagonist-Centered Morality.

A lot of the time if there is a military high ranking female character or just female leader that is masculine or butch she will be the villain to be defeated by the traditionally feminine or at least more feminine heroine/love interest of the hero. I hate this because it basically implies that a woman can only be good if she’s conventionally attractive or a love interest. It’s saying being butch is bad/evil.

Even movies trying to be feminist, like “Contact” which I had to watch for homework? With Jodie Foster from the 1990s told the brilliant, focused woman scientist to not be so “confrontational” (as two male characters stole credit for her work right after they stole her funding) and to be happy with “small moves.” They continued to pat her on the head and tell her to be quiet through the whole movie. The one time she even spoke to another woman was to ask where she could find a really pretty dress. This was supposed to show growth in her character arc.

If I recall correctly, one of the playable characters in the next release of the grand theft auto series is gonna be a women. People online were flipping out over this saying they are being too "woke", among other things. Its funny to me because there has been 5 gta games with only male protagonists, and now there's 1 female in it and suddenly its a problem. Its like these people think there are only 2 genders in games, male and woke.

Heck, people love basic trope laden protagonists..... until they are women.

People love unreasonably over powered characters that are loved or feared in equal measure by the entire cast..... until its a woman.

Then all of a sudden, she's a Mary-Sue and the show/game/book is "Protagonist-Centered Morality"

Some characters who are torn apart for their initial naïveté like Sansa Stark or Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon) are immediately written off as stupid girl characters. Never mind that one becomes a political powerhouse and the other routinely saves the world. People just write their characters off as too “girly” or “annoying” before they even have the chance to redeem themselves in their stories.

Feels like at it's core, people don't like women trying to build self confidence and play out power fantasies. The only difference with the original Mary Sue was that she was imagining being liked by everyone, which was every woman's dream back then and to a certain extent, now. The power was being well liked, and that made her annoyingly boring because there was no struggle for her. Men think struggle is needed, even in fantasies and dreams, but it isn't.

The term Mary-Sue gained a new popularity by shaming female characters (such as Rey, Galadriel, Captain Marvel,…). I am not saying the term is not used towards male characters as well, but it is more rare, and it is rarely as violent as when it is used to characterize a female character.

More importantly it is used against female characters unevenly compared to male characters, its accepted as a genre trope for a male character to be extremely capable or to acrue experience and ability rapidly throughout the narrative. But when it's a woman suddenly "realism" must apply, a real person doesn't simply gain strength and talent through endless perfectly leveled hardship. In simpler terms, Batman can launch a thug across the room with a single punch and it's awesome, Black Widow, however, is breaking the laws of physics when she does her famous around the neck takedown.

Neither are realistic, arguably any grown man launching another grown man bodily through the air with a casual punch is less realistic than a woman pulling off a skilled takedown, but the unequal application of standards says all that needs to be said about the critic.

Writing a "mary sue" to be male often results in a praised character that people don't really worry about. Like Goku or Kirito. People are fine with it. Enjoy it. And there's massive amounts of rather popular fanfiction taking random male characters in series and sue-ifying them, making them the protagonist over the actual main characters, and slapping in poorly developed romance arcs. It's "mary sue" 101, but hardly anyone talks about them in that light.

Meanwhile a woman shows a level of competence similar to another character in the same series (e.g. Rey to Luke or Anakin) and the accusations are everywhere.

Calling these characters one-dimensional is one of the dog-whistles of the modern [whatever]-gate colony creature.

They know that they'll get savaged if they come out and say they're mad because this character is a woman, so they couch everything in these subjective terms. She's one-dimensional. She's flat. She's badly written. She's a mary sue. I just couldn't relate to her.

You can argue with them, you can point out that, say, in Star Wars, that Rey's ability to handle weapons intentionally established in the early scenes of TFA, that we see the setup for the skills she's going to display later in the movie/series, and that her first win is against a badly wounded Sith apprentice. By contrast, Luke successfully fights his way through a huge space station against professional soldiers, then hops into a starfighter he's never flown before, outflies a bunch of experienced pilots, and pulls off a physically impossible shot to save the day.

But sure. Rey is the one who strains credulity.

You can point all that out, but none of it matters. They're not arguing in good faith. They're just mad that there's a girl, and know better than to say that out loud.

He pulls off the shot because he has a throwaway line about murdering animals the size of a camel for fun in his civilian craft that just so happens to have controls similar to the military superiority fighter because they were manufactured by the same company. Because that doesn't strain credibility. Also guess which parts were filled in later by novel writers who were like, "holy **** that makes no sense at all"

Sailor Moon and Sansa Stark are two female characters that start out as whiney cry-baby girlie girls who evolve into political powerhouses and heroes in their own right. But most people write their characters off immediately, because they’re disgusted by their girlish-ness.

While our media gives male characters a chance to grow, female characters are generally written off unless they either show masculine traits, or are used for fan service. It’s why women in movies and TV are usually a kickass tomboy or a girlfriend character.

So anyway, I guess my point is that there are amazing kickass women characters who are well-written and evolve and grow, but their growth tends to be written off as frivolous and not as cool as their dude counterparts.

Imagine an anime where the woman is the main character and she's strong, smart, and not sexualized ?

How about Guardian of the Spirit (seirei no moribito in Japanese)? The MC is a mercenary woman who fights with a spear. She's a complex character, maybe somewhat emotionally stunted because of growing up on the road. She meets a wonderful, compassionate male healer and I love how they break stereotypical gender roles. There's also a complete badass old lady with magical powers and a temper. One of my favourite characters in any genre.

But I'd like to add SuleMio to the list.

Some people did not like that Gundam had its first female protagonist last year, or that she's engaged to another girl, or that they have a romantic moment where Miorine makes Suletta "promise to be with me forever".

It's my first Gundam show and I was nowhere near the fandom, but even I heard the howls of rage from the otakus over that show while it was airing.

“ I highly recommend reading Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. Strong female main character with a supportive cast of male characters. His Skyward series is also good for this.  Sanderson is great but there are some female fantasy writers that do this even better IMO. NK Jemisin has tons of great female characters. Tamsyn Muir’s Locked Tomb series has a majority female cast and I’d say 4 or 5 of them are in the top ten most interesting and complex female characters I’ve read. “

You heard of The Bechdel test: Two women have to talk about something other than a man. There is no time window. It came up in a 1985 comic Dykes To Watch Out For and although it is not a great indicator of more feminist content, it's a wonder much media fails to pass that test.

Have you seen

Arcane? That is a wild crazy masterpiece with awesomely complex awesome characters. It's animated, yeah, so what? But I mean, to say "it's animated" is a heavy  understatement. Have you seen Jinx? Have you seen her portrayal of psychosis and godknows what else was happening in her head? No one in history came even close to that.

Queen's Gambit? Anya Taylor-Joy brought Beth Harmon flawlessly through immense complexity of the character

Mare of Easttown - Kate Winslet there is, I kid you not, the best acting I have ever seen. Her character is going through complex situations and emotions and learning to deal with her human side. Bryan Cranston raised the bar ridiculously high with Walter White, but Kate Winslet pushed it further up, set explosives on it, and walked away like a badass without looking at the explosion. No one is topping that anytime soon.

I'm sure there are more examples. But what I love about these, and a big part of what makes them perfect is that they are their own characters and aren't defined by men around them. Their greatn

I wish female characters were given better in terms of development and characterization. Honestly, I feel like a lot of people hate female characters simply because most male dominated media does such a poor job of writing women, and those characters aren't given the same excuses as poorly written male characters.

Anyway, yeah, sorry for my rant. Having grown up on Anime, Harry Potter, Star Wars, you name it?

I later in life realized what was missing, what is needed, and really needed to hear other people's input on this stuff.

I never understood the need for every main character to be only a cishet white guy. I had already come up with several characters of my own, all of them LGBTQIA+, and half of them women, and several also POC. But my writing and art skills are poor so I can't visualize them properly...

We need more female authors, and we need to promote the ones that are out there more!

(there are plenty of really, really good female authors, in all genres, but often they get less attention, because, well, misogyny)

Edit: If you want an example of how the double-standard towards women and LGBT is applied? Go watch RWBY or Legend of Korra. Both involve a deconstruction of tropes. Both involve women standing up against an authority that demands respect based on being authority, not based on respect. Both shut down the white male savior trope so hard, that men and women who love the patriarchy despise both shows.

But of course, anything that Team RWBY or Korra does is immediately held to a double standard and ripped into for anything that they do NOT because they’re flawed or because of writing decisions. Its because they’re LGBT women that they’re held under a microscope. Or have you noticed that every fixit fanfic for both series involves defending the Patriarchy while supporting toxic masculinity and trying to revive the White Male Savior trope that both shows have tried so hard to bury six feet under?

[bengiyo]

Cooking Crush Ep 12 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Last week, the bullies uploaded a clip of Ten punching Changma, leading to netizens to call for their disqualification. Ten and his dad fought about the matter, and Ten was forced to recognize that his dad was right about the trouble he caused for his friends. Ten and Prem talked it out and affirmed that they are a team. Ten apologized to Changma, who then went on to also apologize publicly for his own role in this. Meanwhile, Ten and Prem cleared up the last confusion about whether Prem was scamming, reminding us there are no tropes they can't defeat. Dynamite has told Fire multiple times they need to be more like Prem and Ten. The squad persevered and moved to the final round. Fire publicly celebrated Dynamite on television. We left at the duo preparing to face Ten's dad.

How does finding the sticky note in Ten's room that he already knew about land as some sorta Gotcha here?

I'm going to miss this intro.

Dish 12: Fish & Rice Romance: a Dish Made of Love

Despite my feelings about the father, it's not unreasonable to ask Prem to be accountable for the money he got from Ten.

I like the reveal that the grandmother had the money and she would have preferred they just tell her about the mishap instead. She's great. She reminded Prem to gather his conviction for his choice.

Pang, give the sign to Metha.

GMMTV loves making us invest in an competition all season just to have the characters lose and take other meaning from the struggle.

I enjoyed the precision that Fire used in his coming out speech to his mom. He makes it clear that Dynamite never deceived him, and then reveals that he's known who he is for a long time. He was hiding it to appease his mother to make her happy, but that's not what's best for him.

This show really gave it to the babiis. So many kisses.

LOL, y'all were right about Pang and Samsee.

I am glad the dad returned the money to Prem. It feels like he's respecting Ten's choices. I'm also glad he and Ten finally spoke about the mom's illness. I'm sure it was devastating for him that he couldn't find a way to save his wife.

Okay, I like the apology from Fire's mom, and how she is able to give this stern kind of acceptance with Dynamite.

The squad is still going strong years later, and Prem even opened his own restaurant.

They let Off smash some garlic and immediately cut away.

Thank you for confirming that these two have an active sex life and that Ten is still horny. We love to see it.

Final Verdict: 9, Highly Recommended. I'm always going to appreciate a show about losers doing their best and finding a version of success. I liked how often communication triumphed in this show. Things that might have dragged in earlier stories across multiple episodes got handled almost immediately throughout this show. This show also gave me Dynamite, my blorbo of the season. I love loud gays who know who they are and who they want, and aren't demure about it. I really loved the cast here, and I loved the two friend groups. They're different, but they're all supportive of each other. Samsee, Dynamite, and Prem are going to stick with me. This is the kind of dramatic stakes I enjoy most in my romcoms.

[urfavnegronerd]

ex-factor- lauryn hill

sum slight

trope: right person, wrong timing 

pairings: hobie brown x black coded fem reader  

warnings: swearing, arguing, angst to fluff to angst again, kinda a happy ending, use of the n-word like once i think  

w/c: 1.2k ish

song lyrics are italicized  

no matter how i think we grow  

“Come on, love,” 

Stubbornly, you huff and turn away from him, the duvet wrinkling underneath you. 

“D’you want me to leave?” 

“Good god, Bee, take a hint. I’m your girlfriend,” 

“Yes, I know,” 

��So act like it,” 

“What do you want me to do?” 

“I want you to be here! Here! Not out all the time doing God knows what or who!” 

“What do you mean, ‘God knows what or who’? Do you not trust me?” 

“Jesus on a fucking boat, I don’t know where you go when you fucking shoot up out of bed and leave,” 

“That don’t mean I’m doing a ‘who’,” 

“Fine, you’re right, is that what you want to hear? Then there you have it, you’re right!” 

“I can’t just drop working with this foundation, love, I chose this fight!” 

“But why can’t you fight the good fight and be here with me too?” 

“God, we’ve had this conversation before, I can’t just dictate when riots break,” 

“I–” 

“I’m gonna go–” 

“Hobie–” 

“I’ll be back in an hour.” 

His voice was just as firm and final as the door behind him. Exasperated, tired, angry, and confused, you flop backward. This fight had broken out about a thousand times already, only this time he’d had to leave during a date. The date. The one the two of you had been planning for months, working out the details, ironing out the kinks, making sure that there wouldn’t be any sort of interruption; but lo and behold there was. Just as the two of you had gotten settled, both of your glasses just beginning to be filled when he had to leave. It was always humiliating, it wasn’t as if you’d been stood up, everyone could very well see how he laced his arm over your hips leading you forward. It was humiliating to think about how much work, time, and thought the two of you had put into this date, and feeling it go to waste. It was a mixture of pure and unbridled white-hot rage mixed with sadness, the now-familiar feeling of dejection, as well as guilt. Maybe you were being unreasonable. He was out doing good things for people, people like you, who had escaped bad situations, in need of safety, of asylum. Wasn’t he doing it all for you? With you in mind? That could have been true but, what about you? What about the promise of falling asleep in safe and strong arms, and staying asleep? What about being his girlfriend? 

Resisting the all-consuming urge to pour yourself a drink, spark up a blunt, anything to ease the anger boiling in your veins, you sit down on the edge of your shared bed, trying to ground yourself. Breathing deeply, running your nails along the exposed portion of your legs, you rest your head in your hands. Forgoing the urge to impulse to let the mattress swallow your being, you unzip the back of your dress changing into one of Hobie’s old shirts and a pair of shorts from your high school days. Trying to think of what Cat, your therapist, would say, you pull out a coloring book and colored pencils. Lighting a candle and putting vinyl on the player, the tension in the small shared apartment begins to fade. Alongside it, the tension in your neck. As you color in the endless swirls of calm, and breathe in the gentle scent of linen the air begins to lighten. 

The next hour passes calmly as Hobie quietly turns the knob to your apartment. 

“Thought you’d be asleep by now,” he leans against the door frame, observing you at the desk. 

“Couldn’t,” 

“Fair enough,” 

A silence. Stifling, but it speaks for itself. 

“D’you want help with taking your hair down before bed? We can talk then?” 

Seated on the floor, leaning over the coffee table, you look up at him behind thick frames. 

“Can we talk now, hair later?” 

“Okay,” 

“It feels like I’m not one of your priorities anymore, and I’m not saying I should be your number one priority, but I want to feel like I’m in the top five, you know?” 

“I– yeah, love, I get it,” 

“So?” 

“I’m sorry,” 

“I’m sorry, too Bee,” 

Crossing the threshold of your apartment, he takes the near-gone tub of coconut oil from the counter, he sits behind you and you comply to the wordless cue, relaxing between his knees. Rubbing a dab of oil between his hands, he coaxes the elastic bands out from the grip of your thick raven curls.

you always seem to let me know  

“Please look at me” 

“I’m looking at you,” 

“In the eyes,” 

Angrily, with hot tears streaking your mahogany brown skin, you look at him, nostrils flaring. 

“Look, I know how bad I fucked up,” 

He laughs, “You honestly really did,” 

“But it’s not like this is one-sided Bee,” 

“Oh, enlighten me, how is this reciprocal?” 

“You haven’t been home in weeks, Bee,” 

“What does that have to do with me coming home to see you with another bloke on our couch?” 

“For the millionth time, nothing happened,” 

“So you’re just cooking for niggas and inviting them into our apartment,” 

“Do you understand how sad it is to be alone when there's supposed to be another person living there? I invited an old friend because I couldn’t stand the silence of being alone longer,” 

“So this is my fault,” 

“No, Hobie– well, it is partially, but we both made choices that led us here,” 

“What, is that supposed to make this better?” 

“ ‘m not saying that either,” 

 “Why does it always feel like another fight with you recently,” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Every time I come home it feels like another argument,” 

“Maybe there wouldn’t be arguments if you communicated with me, loved me how I want to be loved–” 

“So I’m not loving you right?” 

“Can you not twist my words for a moment?” 

“Oh the floor is yours!”  

“I like words of affirmation, reassurance, and affection, it’s not hard to comply with that, Bee. All I’m asking for is–” 

“The impossible, do you not see how this project is all for you? How everything I’m building is for you?” 

“That’s not fair,” 

“How? How is any of this not fair?” 

“Because I’ve been trying, trying to give you space so you can shine and help all those people, but I just want you here,” 

“I can’t always be here,” 

“Hobie! I want to be treated like your girlfriend,” 

“So I’m not treating you like my girlfriend?” 

“It doesn’t really feel like it recently, no!” 

Running his hands over his face he sighs and leans his head back, his eyes look tired and upset. 

“I’m tired of this.” 

The finality of his statement takes you aback. 

“What?” 

“I’m tired of fighting,” 

“Me too,” 

“But it feels like that’s all we do,” 

“We can try to work through it,” 

“I think we’re far beyond that point,” 

“Bee–” 

“I think, I think we should end it here.” 

And then he’s opening the door, and venturing out into the night. And you are left alone.

it aint workin  

“Hey, love,” a familiar voice whispers through the receiver. 

“Bee?”

as painful as this thing has been, i just cant be with no one else

taglist: @n1cole-ghost @lunarfleur @nagi3seastorm @hearts4hobie @milesmolasses @mayeluvsu @kombuuuu @hummusxx

🩷 reblogs are always appreciated for reach <3

xoxo,

rae <3

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: “you make me happy. that's all that matters.”

For Tolya x Reader please!!

Ask and you shall receive

To Willingly Belong To Anyone Is A Rare Thing - Tolya Yul Bataar

Content Warnings: Implied Threat And Violence. Confined Spaces (Forced Proximity Trope Anyone?). No Beta/Proof Reading, We Die In The Fold Baby. ((Does this feel ooc I am insecure and cannot tell))

"We need to go," You insist.

Tolya is still searching one of the many draws in the room for something but he hasn't told you what. Despite being sent on this job together, him at the request of Sturmhond, and you at the request of Brekker, it seems that there is a lot about this job you aren't telling each other. But more accurately there is just a lot you two aren't telling each other at all.

You had tried to argue that going with Tolya wouldn't work, that the two of you could not work together, not because you didn't like him, but because of the opposite, you liked him too much, and it was a distraction you had to balance whenever he was around.

Brekker had told you to take the job with Tolya or not take the job at all, and knowing how invested you were, you'd known that he knew you couldn't turn the job down. So you'd taken it, and your concerns about being not fully present for the job due to your company were not unfounded, but so far they hadn't gotten you into any trouble you hadn't been able to get yourself out of.

Except now. Had it been anyone else you would've had enough, and left without them, or dragged them out of the room yourself. But Tolya, was not the type of man you could drag places, besides you had a small but not unreasonable fear that if you grabbed him you would give far too many things away about yourself that you weren't sure you were willing to share.

"Tolya," you start. His back straightens and he turns to you, holding a finger to his lips. "Toly-,"

"Shush," he hushes you, listening carefully.

"Saints," you whisper, "what now?"

"Six heartbeats on the second floor, approaching," Tolya explains quietly.

"We were supposed to be in and out unnoticed," you remind him.

"I was under direct instructions for there to be no casualties," Tolya states.

"I was under direct instructions to not get caught," you reply.

"They're coming this way," Tolya says, backing away from the door.

"But there is no other exit," you say gesturing to how you would not be able to climb out of the rooms singular small window, yet again Tolya.

"Then we hide," Tolya says, taking your hand and pulling you further back into the room and through some thin bamboo doors that lead into a small but relatively bare closet.

Tolya had wondered why Nikolai had sent him on this task, although he wasn't eager to question any job he was sent on when you were involved it did seem strange that given the nature of the mission was covert, that Tolya would be the one to be sent on it. Then again Tamar although substantially smaller in size than her brother, had much more of a habit of making herself known.

Tolya keeps listening, as you keep as quiet as you can in the small space, your back pressed up against Tolya's chest. He can hear the heartbeats as two men go a further floor up, and four continue towards the room. The sounds of rushing, and strange fast paced drums, the sounds of mixed languages and butchered linguistics echo through the emptiness of the rooms.

"How long do we have to stay here?" you ask.

"We have to wait it out," he replies. You exhale deeply and Tolya can feel the way the blood rushes around your body, so close to him it's impossible to ignore you. Not that he has ever found it easy to ignore you, not that he has ever wanted to.

"It's been a while," you say quietly. You could not stand this time in silence, and a quiet whisper through two doors was no threat to you right now. Those four words were so simple as they left your mouth but they meant so much more than they said and both of you know it.

You had missed him, even if you hadn't tried to, and he had missed you.

"That's why I took the job," you say, finally admitting it to yourself. For all your fussing about wanting to be clear of mind and not distracted, the louder part of you wanted to see Tolya again, it needed to see Tolya again, even if it wasn't practical. Even if you knew you shouldn't.

Something in Tolya speaks to you in a way you've never known before. It makes you calm. It makes you happy. It makes you feel like home.

Tolya realises in this moment, you so close to him, the air hung in this quiet suspense as you could do nothing but stay still and hope. Those drums he had been hearing before, all the way into the building and even now, they weren't drums at all, they were his own heartbeat, and yours. He was not sure how things would work, this life was messy and complex and you both had things you owed loyalty to, both had purposes you must fulfil, but here with you in the quiet, waiting and unknown, the question of how it would work doesn't matter to him anymore. Because love works like love does, with or without permission, with or without practicality. When it came down to it, he loves you, and he cannot and will not run from that fact. Rare is a love so honest, a love that creeps up on you, rare a love that loves without caring for love in return, but receiving it gladly. He loves listening to you talk, he loves the way your voice changes as you are filled with excitement, he loves how you never know exactly when you should stop. He admires your confidence, and he loves the willpower behind it. He misses you when you are gone. He was yours, he was already yours, he had been yours for so long he wasn't sure he knew how to be anything else. He didn't want to be anything else.

He knew he would not care to be anyone else's.

And you did not need to be his for all that to be true. But something in him understands that you are, that you have been, and as he will continue to be yours, you will continue to be his.

"Come back with me," he says.

"What?" you ask a little too loud. You raise you hand to your mouth, disappointed in your own surprise and foolishness.

"Come back with me," he says again, voice gentle. You cannot see him, the space in this closet too small for you to turn around and look at him but you know exactly the type of gentle glow that will be in those golden eyes of his.

"Tolya I can't," you say. "I want to, but it would never work. I think," you sigh, not wanting to admit the words you are about to speak but knowing you must say them nonetheless, "I think I would get in the way of you."

“You make me happy," Tolya whispers. "That's all that matters.”

"All that matters?" You ask.

"We can figure everything else out," he says, and then wonders if maybe he misunderstood, "I just... I do not like being away from you, but if you do not wish to-,"

"Tolya, every moment I am with you, you cloud my every thought, and yet every moment you are away my soul tries to find it's way back to you," you say, you're no Heartrender but you feel his heartbeat as it steadies with your words, calmer as you talk. "There is nothing I would want more than to go with you."

"Then say you will," he says, "and when we get out of here, we can figure it all out," his hands move to gently wrap around you, holding you closer in this small space, making you feel safe, making you feel at home. "Just say you will."

"And the duty owed to family. Do I satisfy my long craving self Failing to respect responsibility? Or to my lover's vows turn deaf And pay homage to ageing sagacity?" Your Ravkan is far from perfect as you recite the words that you had heart Tolya state so long ago, back when you had first met, and you thought you could love him, but you decided it would be wiser not to, and then did anyway.

"Even poets can be wrong," Tolya says. "And yet."

"And yet?" you ask.

"I am no longer good through deliberate intent, but by long habit have reached a point where I am not only able to do right, but am unable to do anything but what is right."

"Okay," you whisper sinking back into him.

"Okay?" he asks.

"I'll go with you Tolya, wherever you go in this life and after."

[idolatrybarbie]

(not!) tagged by @iamasaddie but this looked fun and i cannot sleep. as i am in college and everyone around me is getting laid and i get to be the exception, it's really not a surprise that my most-consumed genre is porny smut lmao. i read so many great fics this year, it was hard to choose just a few.

pizza comes third by @whataperfectwasteoftime

Listen... I just really like nipple clamps. I also really like Marcus Pike. Everything that Penny does is so beautifully written and absolutely hot but this is a personal fave.

the layover by @goodwithcheese

One of THEE fics that inspired me to start writing over here in Pedroland, and specifically for my baby Frankie. Literally gorgeous storytelling. I love these two so much and think about them often.

palomino by @fuckyeahdindjarin

JACK DANIELS. the man, the myth, the legend. also horse riding! which i've only ever done once in my life. god this story is just great. i don't know what else to say. it also inspired me to set my sights on moving to a place where i could actually see some nature when this whole diploma thing is accomplished, so there's that.

send in the clown by @covetyou

clownfucking fic of the century!!! every time i see someone write for one of my more obscure kinks i get unreasonably happy and the fic is always deliciously good, and this is no exception. lo is an absolutely amazing writer, everything she does is so sexy and great. i'm just partial to circus clowns.

wet dream by @bastardmandennis

LOVE this fic. love it. look there's my cute lil' graphic. this trope sometimes feels like it's been done to death but i really really loved lexi's take on it, making it feel fresh and fun. very "it was always you" and secret pining and YUM. i need him, your honour.

tagging my lovely peeps @bastardmandennis @covetyou @iamskyereads @for-a-longlongtime @trulybetty

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