#traumatic experience symptoms

[hollyhomburg]

you know until i went back to college i was convinced that i like- was over my social anxiety because like obviously my job and bedside manner is a really big thing but tbh it is my second day of classes and i am still!!! so anxious i can feel my heart beating out of my chest. i hate this. i am 28 years old i shouldn't be scared of school anymore.

[lapdogchase]

syschase au is like having a mirror i keep covered and the sheet i cover it with keeps falling and i have to keep getting up and covering it over and over again

[hauntedpuppet]

It baffles and haunts me knowing that there are people who are adamant that exotrauma doesn't exist. And the majority of other people have never heard of it at all.

Because my past few days have been filled with panic attacks over exotrauma.

I made this blog because I needed a place to somehow vent about the exotrauma.

The experiences are absolutely not experiences the body has had. But the literal PTSD symptoms from it are real. It's debilitating when flashbacks hit.

(It's possible the only reason I went so long between last time this happened and now is that until recently, a different group of fictives was fronting more, so I had a break from front a bit.)

I have a firm grasp on the difference between fiction and reality. And I know that the exotrauma is real.

If you struggle with exotrauma, don't ever let people invalidate you.

[thethingything]

I've noticed that because of all the medical shit we've dealt with this year and the sheer amount of stress from how triggering some of it is, we've reached a point where I start to feel anxious and get an overwhelming sense of dread anytime I have to take a medication, no matter which medication it is.

this is obviously not great when we take multiple meds per day and will probably be prescribed more to take after the dental surgery, but I don't really know what to do about it, especially since the extremely triggering medical stuff is still an ongoing situation and this specific stuff is probably the reason any medical stuff makes us panic, along with us getting a similar sense of panic and dread when we encounter various stuff to do with teeth and dentistry.

I don't know what I'm meant to do when taking our meds and brushing our teeth is enough to give us a sense of impending doom so strong we get nauseous from it.

also I'm fine while I'm drawing, but the minute I'm not distracted I start getting intrusive thoughts and our brain will not stop giving me flashbacks on top of bringing up the current situation that's fucking me up and I'm basically writing this while dissociated as hell and relying on that to stop me properly remembering or thinking about the stuff that's going on in any more detail than what I've written here, but even that's enough to still make us anxious and on edge, and the dissociation/amnesia only kicks in this hard after we've panicked hard enough about it.

we've been having multiple panic attacks per day and getting migraines every time we're reminded of the situation. I'm ending up in significantly worse pain because of the sheer amount of stress from this shit

[99probalos]

told my therapist about rlmblr yesterday. this is the biggest secret about myself that ive divulged to him

[murphysiblings]

are ppl actually discoursing what can and what cant be considered trauma

[blackmoldmp3]

2019 mixed episode that took me like 6 months to recover from and then immediately the pandemic began. really made me understand why theyre the most dangerous mood episodes when u have bipolar asdhkfdfh girlies i was doing so unbelievably fucking bad

[zo1nkss]

Hi I'm a psychotic with a tendency to form delusions and yeah actually. Simply *having* these disorders is very traumatizing, that's entirely seperate from the trauma of being descriminated against or abused because I have them.

Mix that with being an impressionable child who /does not know/ that what they're seeing/experiencing/have come to believe is not real?

You've got a recipe for disaster.

When I was somewhere under the age of 12, all I did was watch Scary Movie 3 with my family one day. Simple. You're probably thinking "I watched that movie when I was younger than that and was gine?" congrats! For me, it was the wrong move. For 3 years following I deeply believed I was being stalked by the ghost of Samara because even the comical depiction of her was terrifying as a concept to me.

I saw her everywhere, always searching for or attacking me and I genuinely feared being alone. I actively believed I was being stalked by a horror movie villain, and if she got me I would die.

Not even 13 years old yet and I was grappling with the possibility that someone I thought really existed wanted to kill me. And not in a silly goofy way. I genuinely believed my life was in danger.

I'm 27 now. It wasn't until the last 2 years I realized that was a delusion. To this day I struggle with the fear of entering empty or dark spaces alone because of that delusion.

It's not simply not being believed or valued that hurts us. Living like this, for some people, is living in a state of constant fear or danger.

I think it'd be neat if during discussions about schizophrenia and psychosis more people made a point to mention how psychotic episodes themselves can be deeply traumatizing. because they sure can. experiencing a break from reality like that is traumatizing. delusions, even though they aren't real, are traumatizing. believing you're being prosecuted by God himself and not knowing how to cope with that just to later realize none of it was real is probably traumatizing. experiencing frightening hallucinations can be traumatizing. people talk about how psychotics suffer from their disorder but let's talk about why we do. and I haven't even mentioned the inherent trauma of living with a stigmatized disorder in a world where psychotics are despised and shunned and kicked out of homes. lets not forget that one.

[brilliantsnafu]

This is literally the most accurate explanation for everything oh my god

[faernwei]

.

[sunseed-fandump]

The Witch must have been crazy to have made such a Bad Batch of cookies...

(Sorry it's not any of my other AU content, but this was an idea I just really wanted to get out of my head.)

More Info under the cut!

The kids are EEEEEVIL!!!!

Wizard is in his Azure Flame costume from ovenbreak. Strawberry is Wild Strawberry from Twizzly Gummy’s Crew. Gingerbrave is emo a zombie, kinda.

In this timeline, Wizard’s need for power in order to survive quickly turned into a lust for it. He craves it, and is under the thrall of the Azure Flame Staff which whispers to him. He is convinced that only the strong will survive, and those without power are worthless. He is terrified of being powerless as a result. He remembers what it’s like to be helpless, and never wants to feel that way again. His prickly and reclusive attitude is a result of trying not to get attached (because attachments are a weakness) yet he can’t help but have a small fondness for Gingerbrave and Strawberry, as they’re one of the few cookies who understand what it’s like to hit rock bottom.

Strawberry was deeply traumatized when she saw her witch eat a cookie before her eyes. When she tried to warn others of what she had seen, she was dismissed. Too quiet, too soft, too shy. Eventually she found herself on Twizzly Gummy Cookie’s crew, and they were a pretty bad influence. She learned to be ruthless, because showing kindness will just result in others walking all over her. This version of her isn’t afraid of speaking her mind and being heard. Twizzly’s gang fell apart due to the TBD, and she felt abandoned as a result. After being spat out into a random timeline she decided to lay low and eventually met Wizard and Gingerbrave. She’s stuck with them ever since and silently appreciates their loyalty.

This timeline’s Gingerbrave didn’t survive his escape from the oven. The Witch caught him just as he had busted open the doors and she smashed him to pieces. However, with a few icing stitches and a bit of dark magic, he was brought back to life and swore vengeance on all witches. Not too long after escaping his Witch, he recruited Wizard and Strawberry to his cause to “fix” what he perceives to be a rotten world. He does truly care for his comrades and considers them his dearest friends, as they were the first to not mistake him for a mindless undead or recoil at his habit of falling apart. He’s retained a decent sense of humor, and is still a bit ignorant when it comes to the world due to being freshly baked, however he’s a lot more closed off when it comes to strangers and not quick to think that everyone has his best interest in mind like his Canon counterpart.

The trio have looked out for one another for a while, at first things were a bit rocky between them, a loose allyship to pursue a common goal; but it’s grown into a deep loyalty towards each other.

If Wizard Cookie is separated from the Azure Flame Staff for too long he starts to experience severe withdrawal symptoms. His fear of being powerless, alongside the Staff’s thrall over him, will cause him to act desperately and get it back by any means necessary.

Wild Strawberry Cookie has seen a lot in other timelines, and as a result recognizes quite a few faces that she otherwise wouldn’t have met. She also has a stash of Time Jumpers, which allows her to dominate a battlefield as she utilizes its abilities to fast-forward and rewind herself.

Gingerbrave frequently has to redo his stitches, as they have a habit of breaking or wearing down due to the icing’s low quality. The worst ones are around his neck, which will cause his head to go flying off and getting lost. Despite the major drawbacks this causes, he can also use it to his advantage, as his individual parts are still autonomous from one another. He can also swap parts out for new ones, meaning if he loses an arm, he can take one from a fallen enemy cookie or cake monster and use that instead. He has a supply of different parts that he swaps out depending on the mission. However, he feels most comfortable with his original pieces.

While it isn’t official, Gingerbrave is considered the leader, as he keeps the group focused on their goal: to steal the Soul Jam and use them to destroy the Witches and their influence.

They actually don’t like Dark Enchantress Cookie and don’t plan to join the Cookies of Darkness. While they both have similar plans of stealing the Soul Jam and wanting to reform the world, Dark Enchantress wants to make a world that is under her control, while Gingerbrave wants to create a world of absolute free will and lawlessness.

Basically, the kids are anarchists who view Dark Enchantress and the Ancient Heroes as Tyrants.

Idk if i'll do more with this concept, but I thought it would be fun/funny considering Strawberry and Wizard both already have "evil" designs.

[lordofryoshimacoast]

Lmfaooo the amount of nonhumans and alterhumans who immediately cry that you need to be put into a mental hospital the moment you have a 'scary' symptom of mental illness is fucking insane.

I love you nonhumans and alterhumans with delusions

I love you nonhumans and alterhumans with intrusive thoughts

I love you nonhumans and alterhumans who are mean and aggressive when faced with what some may see as mild inconveniences

I love you nonhumans and alterhumans who need praise and validation to smile just once in their damn day

I love you traumatized nonhumans and alterhumans who react with rage

I love you nonhumans and alterhumans who experience 'gross' shifts

I love you nonhumans and alterhumans who have poor hygiene because of mental health

You guys deserve the fucking world and people who don't tell you to head to a mental hospital or to seek a doctor whenever you talk about yourselves.

Keep fighting, keep struggling, keep on moving. Make the world pay if it's given you a shit hand, don't ever lie on your back for anyone but yourself. Kill those who try and change you when you don't need the change.

[valleynix]

One thing I really love about tptm is reader’s character. I love how real they are. Most fics and stories in general usually have an overpowered mc, who like solves their problems in like a chp 💀 but reader struggles, they make bad decisions, it’s frustrating sometimes, but I like that it frustrates me. They just seem so human. They don’t forget about the traumatic shit that happened to them and it troubles them, but they actually try and improve. Its long process and I’m excited to read about it

i’ve had quite a few people get upset with me that i write Reader making bad decisions and i’m just 😭 like that’s the POINT. they’re supposed to frustrate you at times because they’re mentally unwell and traumatized, considering everything they’ve gone through and everything that continues to happen to them

i mean, they wake up with no recollection of who they are to four cannibalistic women who they’re pretty sure want to eat them, but then it turns out they’re really not that bad?? and kind of attractive?? and also pretty kind and accommodate them-

but then it’s all ripped away in the span of a few hours. all those weeks and moments they’ve had are suddenly gone and meant nothing as these women crumble in front of them, as THEY are the reason they’re dead in the first place. that guilt alone is enough to destroy someone, regardless if they went back and “fixed it”

but i dunno- as a psych major, it’s been really interesting to incorporate what i know into my writing and make it more “real”, like you said. i mean hell, we even see a lot of their ptsd symptoms still around 😭

even though Reader may actually seem a bit overpowered, they still have their weaknesses and cons to each power. like, yes, they’re incredibly strong and incredibly difficult to take down, but once you know where to attack, it’s not hard to debilitate them

but anyways. i’m a massive sucker for realism in fiction and i try my best to make TPtM as “realistic” as possible 😔 Reader is incredibly traumatized and it shows in their actions and decisions, but now that they’re opening up further, perhaps it’ll be easier to move forward

[cripplecharacters]

Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?

[large text: Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?]

(TLDR: No.)

A frequent topic that shows up around facial differences is the self-hatred, self-disgust, self-insert-negative-emotion that we must surely experience. I want to ask* writers without FDs - why? Why do you feel about us in such a way that that's the most common way of depicting us?

*- rhetorical question. I promise I know the answer, but I'm not sure if writers do.

It's frankly worrying to me. Is it really that common to assume that disabled people have this internal, never-ending hatred for themselves? The overwhelming majority of us don't. We hate inaccessibility, when people stare, or some symptoms when they get in the way, or how expensive being disabled is, but I find the concept of us being so completely disturbed by our own disabilities extremely strange. It’s “tragedy porn” intersecting “most basic ableism”.

“But trauma!”

[large text: “But trauma!”]

Trauma of what! People with facial differences don't have some sort of default trauma that we come with like it’s a factory setting. We are a group of people with tens of thousands of stories and experiences.

“Trauma of experiencing ableism/disfiguremisia” - that's better, at least this means something. If you're writing a story about this, please get a sensitivity reader with a facial difference. You can assume how we feel all you want, but in my experience these assumptions are often bizarre and unrealistic. Or just end up writing the same “disability so sad” sob story that everyone has seen a billion times. If you want to write about disfiguremisia, you need to understand the nuance and have more than just the basic level knowledge (which 99% of people don’t have either). If you can’t do that, don’t write about it. Simple as that.

“Trauma of the accident” - thankfully, the accident is an event and a facial difference is a disability. If you want to connect these two like they're one and the same, you're almost surely going to demonize disability. People with traumatic spinal cord injuries, acquired amputees, people with TBI, people with acquired facial differences - we participate in our communities, we have hobbies, we date, we play with our dogs. Disability isn't a death sentence. Media who make it feel like it is certainly don't help people who do suddenly become disabled, don't you think?

Here's a post by @blindbeta about blind characters becoming blind through trauma that’s better made than anything I could hope to write here. I heavily recommend giving it a read.

And, I can't stress this enough - most of us didn't have “the accident”, most of us are born like this. "Traumatic scars" isn't the only facial difference that exists, far from it, it's only one of thousands. It's 99% of our representation and "representation". If you want to make a character with FD - please consider that we aren't a monolith. Just like not all physical disabilities are "wheelchair user with paralysis and somehow no other symptoms", not all facial differences are "traumatic scar with somehow no nerve damage".

The overrepresentation of it is incredibly telling, and sometimes - or very frequently - feels like the writer doesn’t actually even want to deal with us. They want to use our disability as a way to cheap drama, moral metaphors, tragic backstories. Not to represent us as living people who are much more similar to you than you apparently think.

Now, I do have enough awareness to know that that's a big part of the appeal. “Horrific Thing #2456 happens” and boom, instant drama. Of course, it's a reasonable response that they would hide their disability for years, avoid talking about it in any way, and magically change their personality to be mean and reclusive, or at least be constantly soooo sad about how much it sucks to be disabled, right?

Do I really need to say that having your character becoming disabled be the worst thing ever is ableism 101? We have been talking about this for so long at this point. Writing about the process of adapting to a specific disability is better left to people who have actual experience in it.

To give an example that will hopefully resonate more with Tumblr users, I will use the fact that I'm also gay. It's not perfect by any means but probably much more familiar territory.

Imagine, let's say, a character. He's gay. The story he's in is supposedly progressive, certainly not trying to be homophobic. The character has experienced an incident, maybe an act of aggression or a hate crime, that happened because he’s gay, which was traumatic. Happens IRL, sure. So of course the character starts hating being gay. He talks about how gross and disgusting it is, he never lets anyone know that he could be “one of them”, certainly not take a stance against homophobia. You can't mention him without mentioning the accident, they're seemingly fused together. No gay love, joy, even basic happiness, he would actually choose to be straight in a heartbeat if given the option to and complains that he can't. This is shown as a neutral, obvious thing that a gay man would do, no one comments on it. He stays like this the whole time, unless there’s a plot twist in the last 10 pages where the world is now magically perfect ("we fixed discrimination, yay!"). This is the only LGBT character in the story.

Keep in mind that there are people similar to this in real life, living with extreme internalized homophobia.

Reading comprehension quiz time: Is this, in your opinion, realistic and thoughtful representation? How does it feel when written by a cishet writer, versus a gay writer who is recalling his experiences? Do you think that it's reasonable for the majority of media representation to be like this, or very close to it? How would it affect younger gay people who might already be uncomfortable with being queer? Are gay men the target audience, or are they not even considered as a group of people who read books? Is this helping or damaging the general public's idea of how it is to be gay? Why or why not?

The Masterpiece

[large text: The Masterpiece]

From 13 to 19 of May, we are celebrating Face Equality week (what a coincidence!). It’s important to me in general - and I wish it was more important to abled people, but I digress - especially its theme for this year.

“My Face is a Masterpiece”

Great statement, it represents the community well, I do enjoy how bold it is. Very cool stuff, I love the work our advocates are doing.

But why do I bring this up?

Well, to very non-subtly show that we aren’t a self-hating group of people. We are a community, a community saying “our faces are beautiful, look!”, we are saying “treat us equally, and do it now!”. Our activism isn’t about self-disgust. It’s about fighting your-disgust. 

Why can’t writers keep up? Why are you still stuck decades behind?

Is this the only reason I bring it up?

The Call to Celebration

[large text: The Call to Celebration]

FEI, the org behind organizing it, asks a very simple question (emphasis mine):

“Why do we so often see stories about facial difference as a ‘tragedy’, when they should be about triumph?” “Calling all artists, allies, creatives, galleries.  You can rewrite the story to bring about #FaceEquality and celebrate the unique artistry found in every face. Your participation this #FaceEqualityWeek will help to tell the real story, that there is a masterpiece in every face.”

Here. We are calling for you to stop. Directly from the biggest international advocacy alliance group that's out there. If you create, this is for you.

The last argument to not have your character with a facial difference hate themselves? Because we don’t want this. We are tired and frustrated. For me personally, I’m also offended by this kind of assumption. We aren’t tragedies or cheap entertainment for abled people to pity or be horrified by. We are people, and if you can’t internalize that, you have no reason to write about us.

For once, celebrate us. Happy Face Equality Week!

mod Sasza

[unboundprompts]

If you’re still doing request, is it OK if you either

Describe writing a panic attack?

Or

Describe someone who has gray eyes?

-> a link for gray eye descriptions: x

How to Write a Panic Attack

Physical Symptoms of a Panic Attack:

pounding or racing heart

sweating

chills

trembling

difficulty breathing

weakness or dizziness

tingly or numb hands

chest pain

stomach pain or nausea

feeling lightheaded

tense muscles

dry mouth

constriction in the chest

feeling like they're being choked

Other Symptoms:

heightened vigilance for danger and physical symptoms

anxious and irrational thinking

a strong feeling of dread, danger or foreboding

fear of going mad, losing control, or dying

feelings of unreality and detachment from the environment

Triggers for a Panic Attack:

something unexpected (ex: a phone call)

a reminder (objects, smells, locations, specific phrases, etc. that can be tied back to a traumatic experience)

stress (from work, a relationship, family, etc. that has been building up)

silence (ex: being alone in a quiet room. The silence can amplify a sense of isolation)

flashbacks (a trigger that causes the person to flash back to a traumatic memory)

out of nowhere (sometimes panic attacks just get triggered by seemingly nothing)

Writing Prompts:

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

He couldn't breathe. Oh God, he couldn't breathe and he was going to die.

She knew the panic was building up, but it crashed over her like a tsunami that swept her off her feet. The pull threatened to pull her out to sea and it was all-consuming.

They felt the panic begin to wrap its arms around them like a shadow.

"Is it okay if I hold your hand?"

"Don't touch me-- don't touch me!"

Her mind was running at a million miles a second but she couldn't pinpoint a single thought.

"It's okay. You're safe."

An icy hand had reached through their ribcage and was squeezing their heart. They couldn't breathe and they didn't know what to do to regain their breath.

"My chest hurts. It hurts."

"I can't!"

They were a crumpled heap, stowed away in the corner as tears streamed down their face.

She felt like she was on a boat out at sea, the room swaying and adding to the nausea that was washing over her.

He felt like he was having a heart attack.

They gasped for air but each breath felt shallower than the last.

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears, beating like a panicked drum to the rhythm of her fear.

He felt like he was standing on the edge of a building.

They couldn't move. It was like someone was holding down their limbs, the panic rendering them utterly frozen.

If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider donating! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi!

[notglue-9]

About My AU

This is about how 8 souls in Minecraft afterlife,try to live in peace and harmony.

Random facts about world/lore:

• You can’t stay at night for long as your own nightmares and fears will begin to haunt you.

• Catnap has had corruption three times. And each time it gets worse and more painful.

• on a full moon in Cartoon world, Catnap will turn into that same creepy version of himself from his past life.

• Bobby: mother/big sister figure

Bubba: Big bro/Father figure

Kickin: best Bro/best friend

Hoppy: best sister/best friend

Crafty: comfort shy bestie

Picky: the same kind aunt who will feed and take care of you/sibling figure

• Catnap lives with Bobby or Bubba.

The guys built houses for each other while they were in the afterlife. And they built a House for Dogday in advance.

• It hurts Catnap to show other emotions with his mouth, so he always smiles. But in the animation "Overnight" he was so upset that he didn't care about the pain and to show his sadness to Dogday he erased his smile

About Medallions

medallions are their souls.

Catnap collects the negative emotions of other critters. This makes his medallion increase. Although he helps others, it’s worse for him if he collects a lot of negativity within himself. He's in pain and reaaally Sick.💀

Each critter has their own cracks in their medallions. They show their emotional state.

Why is Catnap's medallion different?

it’s just that Catnap is punished for what he did in a past life. He pays back by helping and providing therapy to others there will be a rollback from negativity only if someone helps him. But no one will help him yet. The worse the Catnap medallion stage, the more his voice disappears, his beautiful lullaby voice becomes either mute or creepy.

The reason why Catnap is still cursed with this "therapy" ability. He feels guilty for all his mistakes. And it haunts him. His guilt hits harder than other negative emotions of smiling critters.

Sometimes a big red cloud hangs over him in the shape of his past life. And until he forgives himself and does not help others. He will be forever cursed and suffer

Cracked or Cursed Medallions symptoms

When Catnap is too overwhelmed with negativity. He coughs up Red Smoke.

But it doesn’t affect the others in any way. Although other critters are scared by this smoke. Especially Dogday.

Broken medallions.

These are souls that have not found peace, traumatized, broken. They feel bad mentally.

About ARCS.

Arc 0. - Catnap's Therapy. Pilot lmao

Arc 1. - Eclipse, nightmares and dreams,"I'm sorry"

Arc 2.- Corruption,Hey Dogday,,the groundhog Day,comics about other Critters

Arc 3- (Red crescent arc) - Your face,Camping, Theatre, others in future

Arc 4.- After prank, overnight,Moon's everyday Life.

Arc 1- Everyone hates Catnap. They shun him. Beat him,kick him. Bobby was the first to befriend him.

Arc. 2.Catnap helps them cope with their traumas that have begun to appear and interfere with their lives.

Arc 3.They are all more or less well. Some notice Catnap's strange behavior. Dogday has a hard time accepting Catnap. He already wanted to more or less make the relationship better. But the Red Moon appeared.

Their voices ,Their speaking style

Dogday: The deep voice of a veteran who went through a 100-year war. But sometimes it changes to squeaky if it experiences strong emotions. He remained expressive, but his face is always angry as if it would bite you.

Catnap: Actually he was mute. But he was given a voice in the afterlife. He still can't get used to it. His voice is very gentle, cold and pleasant to the ear, like the Cradle. His voice is also designed for singing.

Bobby: Calming tone, tactile when communicating. Sometimes she makes beautiful speeches. And very chatty. Loves to gossip.

Bubba: Monotonous and calculating Voice. He speaks briefly and clearly. And doesn't gesture at all and he is very passive.

Kickin: He deliberately makes his voice tone rougher to seem cool. He comes up with different slangs and often makes funny gestures. But when he's scared, his voice becomes very squeaky and he chirps like a Chicken.

Hoppy: She has a loud and confident voice, like a fitness club trainer. She will never tire of shouting motivational words at you. She often jumps and runs around you. She doesn't sit still while she chats with you.

Crafty: A gentle and sweet voice, like a princess. She is often distracted and has Daydreaming Syndrome.

Loves fairy tales and everything that is not from reality. She can debate her point of view about creativity

Picky: She has a very fun and playful voice. But sometimes you don’t understand whether she’s happy or ready to roast you in a fire.

A truly charming farmer and chef. Loves the Western theme.

About Chronology.

First arc - Catnap enters the afterlife. And everyone will begin to take revenge on him in their own way. Only Bobby will be there for him

Second arc - Catnap helps all of his friends to help recover from their traumas, and slowly wins their trust.

Third arc - Everything will more or less calm down. Only Dogday has the most difficult period of acceptance. There will be a lot of adventure beyond this. And only when Dogday wants to fix everything. The red moon appears on the horizon

(camping, theatre )

fourth arc - is Catnap's self-exile. everyone misses catnap

Arc five- blocked

Arc six- blocked